1
00:00:11,280 --> 00:00:14,000
Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast.

2
00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,720
Speaker 2: Mamma May I acknowledges the traditional owners of the land

3
00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:20,360
Speaker 2: and waters that this podcast is recorded on.

4
00:00:20,560 --> 00:00:23,240
Speaker 1: I'm a Shani Dante, host of But Are You Happy?

5
00:00:23,720 --> 00:00:26,280
Speaker 1: Did you know that one in five Australians experience and

6
00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,280
Speaker 1: mental health condition each year? Yet too many suffer in silence.

7
00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,519
Speaker 1: Talking about our feelings and experiences is one of the

8
00:00:33,520 --> 00:00:37,200
Speaker 1: most powerful steps towards healing and knowing we're not alone.

9
00:00:37,560 --> 00:00:40,559
Speaker 1: That's why we're introducing I Never told you This, a

10
00:00:40,640 --> 00:00:45,120
Speaker 1: series created to spark honest, meaningful conversations that support better

11
00:00:45,200 --> 00:00:47,800
Speaker 1: mental well being, brought to you by Medibank.

12
00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,160
Speaker 3: I thought I had everything figured out at that age.

13
00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:55,120
Speaker 3: I was doing what I thought was right, but I

14
00:00:55,200 --> 00:00:56,440
Speaker 3: wasn't doing what was right for me.

15
00:00:57,800 --> 00:01:00,920
Speaker 2: Two people, one big reveal. I never told you this

16
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:03,920
Speaker 2: a simple card game where one question could change everything.

17
00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,720
Speaker 3: It starts LI what more things brings me joy?

18
00:01:07,039 --> 00:01:08,280
Speaker 1: I'm not going to answer for that.

19
00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:11,880
Speaker 2: Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.

20
00:01:12,160 --> 00:01:14,919
Speaker 2: As they finished this sentence, I never told you this.

21
00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:17,000
Speaker 1: I've never told you. They never told you this.

22
00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:23,839
Speaker 2: Today, daughter and mother, Pelepa and Poema will be sitting

23
00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:24,399
Speaker 2: down together.

24
00:01:24,759 --> 00:01:27,840
Speaker 3: I'm feeling a mix of emotions, but mainly I'm quite nervous.

25
00:01:28,119 --> 00:01:30,359
Speaker 2: Pelepa has something big to reveal to her mother.

26
00:01:31,199 --> 00:01:37,279
Speaker 3: But we'll just see how things go. Hi, how are

27
00:01:37,319 --> 00:01:40,560
Speaker 3: you feeling, Mom? Good? It's good to see you look beautiful.

28
00:01:40,839 --> 00:01:41,600
Speaker 4: Thank you, sir.

29
00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:47,319
Speaker 3: I've got these Medibank Family Roast cards. Shall we get started? Yes?

30
00:01:49,120 --> 00:01:51,240
Speaker 3: My question? How do you see me?

31
00:01:51,400 --> 00:01:51,639
Speaker 2: Mom?

32
00:01:51,720 --> 00:01:54,439
Speaker 3: When you look at me, I see you as my daughter,

33
00:01:55,040 --> 00:01:58,680
Speaker 3: my best friend, the one I can trust to talk to.

34
00:01:59,400 --> 00:02:00,680
Speaker 3: Most of all, we had the love.

35
00:02:01,400 --> 00:02:03,360
Speaker 4: Yeah, mother and daughter.

36
00:02:05,520 --> 00:02:08,720
Speaker 3: Can be emotional. I never really expected that to come

37
00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:10,760
Speaker 3: from your mom.

38
00:02:11,200 --> 00:02:14,320
Speaker 4: Send me about that sign when you were most proud

39
00:02:14,360 --> 00:02:14,720
Speaker 4: of me.

40
00:02:15,760 --> 00:02:19,280
Speaker 3: When you were staying with your sisters and your mother

41
00:02:19,360 --> 00:02:22,400
Speaker 3: in New Zealand. The engagement that you had which didn't

42
00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:24,520
Speaker 3: turn out the way that you wanted it to. I

43
00:02:24,560 --> 00:02:27,760
Speaker 3: see that as the biggest blessing because that's when you

44
00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:30,680
Speaker 3: booked your flight to come here, and then you paid

45
00:02:30,720 --> 00:02:33,440
Speaker 3: your one way ticket to come here to Australia by yourself.

46
00:02:33,880 --> 00:02:37,840
Speaker 3: I think that's pretty boss, Mom, you really found your worth.

47
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,680
Speaker 3: My turn. I'm going to pick up the card now.

48
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:53,200
Speaker 3: I never told you this, so Mum. You know how

49
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,680
Speaker 3: in our psalm One culture, everyone gets married, has kids

50
00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,760
Speaker 3: at a young age, you know, raises their own families.

51
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:04,720
Speaker 3: I've done the complete different, you know. I've chased after

52
00:03:04,840 --> 00:03:09,440
Speaker 3: my careers, through nursing, through film. But there's someone in

53
00:03:09,480 --> 00:03:16,600
Speaker 3: my life. So I have a boyfriend. I have a boyfriend.

54
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:16,880
Speaker 4: Mum.

55
00:03:18,280 --> 00:03:20,360
Speaker 3: I know it's a lot for you to take on board,

56
00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:22,760
Speaker 3: especially now that I've told you the news, but I

57
00:03:22,800 --> 00:03:25,080
Speaker 3: wanted to be sure that I was making the right choice,

58
00:03:25,480 --> 00:03:28,400
Speaker 3: which is why I've only just told you now. But

59
00:03:28,440 --> 00:03:31,760
Speaker 3: nothing will ever change the way that I love you,

60
00:03:32,200 --> 00:03:34,640
Speaker 3: I love my dad, and I love my brother. My

61
00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:36,640
Speaker 3: responsibilities will remain the same.

62
00:03:37,480 --> 00:03:41,720
Speaker 4: That's what I saw. That's a change in Okay, And

63
00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:48,320
Speaker 4: now you do, I'm so sure to be always share. Yeah,

64
00:03:48,480 --> 00:03:50,400
Speaker 4: you have to respond between us.

65
00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:53,560
Speaker 3: This is the burden that I've been carrying. It's just

66
00:03:53,600 --> 00:03:58,040
Speaker 3: trying to find the right time to tell you. And

67
00:03:58,160 --> 00:04:00,440
Speaker 3: I always knew that in our family, whenever I told

68
00:04:00,480 --> 00:04:03,600
Speaker 3: you and Dad something I wanted to do, the answer

69
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:07,600
Speaker 3: would be no reconsider You need to think of us.

70
00:04:07,680 --> 00:04:09,320
Speaker 3: You need to think of the family.

71
00:04:09,800 --> 00:04:15,320
Speaker 4: Always problems because there is no family difference.

72
00:04:16,279 --> 00:04:20,040
Speaker 3: Sometimes I forget my voice whenever I'm around our family,

73
00:04:20,080 --> 00:04:24,200
Speaker 3: around you and Dad, and it's not resentment, but because

74
00:04:24,240 --> 00:04:27,360
Speaker 3: it's always been packed on obedience and just listening to

75
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:33,440
Speaker 3: that one voice. I forget that voice. Since him, He's

76
00:04:33,480 --> 00:04:36,719
Speaker 3: allowed me to find my voice. He would tell me

77
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:40,240
Speaker 3: to talk, even if it meant tears first before talking.

78
00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:45,839
Speaker 1: The rest of this episode of I never told you

79
00:04:45,880 --> 00:04:47,320
Speaker 1: this right after the break.

80
00:04:52,960 --> 00:04:54,600
Speaker 3: I don't know if I ever told you the story

81
00:04:54,600 --> 00:04:58,800
Speaker 3: as to what inspired me to leave nursing. But there

82
00:04:58,880 --> 00:05:02,400
Speaker 3: was a patient that I looked after, and he was

83
00:05:02,440 --> 00:05:05,039
Speaker 3: an end of life. Do I say to me, Lepard,

84
00:05:05,080 --> 00:05:07,920
Speaker 3: live your life? And I got to a point where

85
00:05:07,920 --> 00:05:10,880
Speaker 3: I didn't want to go in and see him because

86
00:05:10,880 --> 00:05:12,840
Speaker 3: I was sick of hearing those words, And I thought,

87
00:05:12,880 --> 00:05:15,320
Speaker 3: why me? I thought I had everything figured out at

88
00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:17,680
Speaker 3: that age, you know, But little did I know that

89
00:05:17,720 --> 00:05:21,800
Speaker 3: I was suffering inside because I was doing what I

90
00:05:21,840 --> 00:05:25,560
Speaker 3: thought was right, but I wasn't doing what was right

91
00:05:25,600 --> 00:05:31,640
Speaker 3: for me. I see him in our family dynamics, and

92
00:05:31,680 --> 00:05:34,720
Speaker 3: I want him to be accepted. If I say, if

93
00:05:34,760 --> 00:05:36,760
Speaker 3: I stand in the middle and I say I don't

94
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:41,120
Speaker 3: want whoever something might have been in the future, I

95
00:05:41,160 --> 00:05:44,680
Speaker 3: wholeheartedly hear what you say. Because you're my mum, You're

96
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:48,720
Speaker 3: entitled to your concerns. But I just wanted to let

97
00:05:48,760 --> 00:05:52,680
Speaker 3: you know this person like I love him with my

98
00:05:52,720 --> 00:05:53,280
Speaker 3: whole being.

99
00:05:54,440 --> 00:05:55,600
Speaker 4: It's just the beginning.

100
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:57,960
Speaker 3: But you don't know what's at the back.

101
00:05:58,440 --> 00:06:00,000
Speaker 4: That's the thing I'm worried about.

102
00:06:01,200 --> 00:06:06,040
Speaker 3: But I don't want you to get heard how you've

103
00:06:06,080 --> 00:06:08,440
Speaker 3: always wanted to just shelter me even so now. And

104
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:11,359
Speaker 3: I remember you telling me about your mom hanging onto

105
00:06:11,400 --> 00:06:14,840
Speaker 3: you when you're Auckland Airport before you boarded the gates

106
00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:18,400
Speaker 3: to come here, and you just felt like you needed

107
00:06:18,400 --> 00:06:20,760
Speaker 3: to grow and spread your wings. Had you not left

108
00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:23,240
Speaker 3: New Zealand, we wouldn't be here. You know, I wouldn't

109
00:06:23,240 --> 00:06:26,040
Speaker 3: be here. I find so much strength because I think

110
00:06:26,080 --> 00:06:28,560
Speaker 3: of what you went through. You went against the grain

111
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,039
Speaker 3: and you made a mark.

112
00:06:32,440 --> 00:06:37,360
Speaker 4: I know it was very hard for leaving my mom,

113
00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:40,599
Speaker 4: but I gave me here because of what she wants.

114
00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:42,440
Speaker 4: I don't like.

115
00:06:42,960 --> 00:06:43,840
Speaker 3: I don't want.

116
00:06:44,400 --> 00:06:47,480
Speaker 4: Because I don't want to be suffer for something that

117
00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,480
Speaker 4: I don't agree in. I don't really want to. I

118
00:06:50,520 --> 00:06:54,680
Speaker 4: said to myself, I had to live and look for

119
00:06:55,440 --> 00:06:59,680
Speaker 4: a bitter, bitter future. See what's the other side of

120
00:06:59,720 --> 00:07:04,440
Speaker 4: the world is like, I'm not stopping you're growing, but

121
00:07:04,560 --> 00:07:08,280
Speaker 4: you had to make the right decision. I know you

122
00:07:08,360 --> 00:07:11,640
Speaker 4: might don't. You're very good to kill.

123
00:07:14,320 --> 00:07:18,200
Speaker 3: Thanks Bama, I love you, Una, A laughing af