1 00:00:11,149 --> 00:00:15,989 Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mama Maya acknowledges 2 00:00:16,069 --> 00:00:19,229 Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast 3 00:00:19,309 --> 00:00:20,069 Speaker 1: is recorded on. 4 00:00:20,269 --> 00:00:23,109 Speaker 2: Hello. I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm the editor of Mamma Mia 5 00:00:23,189 --> 00:00:25,629 Speaker 2: and I'm also the host of our new parenting podcast, 6 00:00:25,749 --> 00:00:29,149 Speaker 2: Parenting out Loud. And this summer, we're curating your listening 7 00:00:29,149 --> 00:00:32,189 Speaker 2: with a healthy dose of culture savvy conversations that parents 8 00:00:32,309 --> 00:00:36,229 Speaker 2: actually want. This holiday season, we're bringing you unmissable episodes 9 00:00:36,349 --> 00:00:39,789 Speaker 2: right here into your podcast playlist. It's your summer listening sorted. 10 00:00:40,229 --> 00:00:42,109 Speaker 2: And if you're looking for more to listen to, every 11 00:00:42,189 --> 00:00:45,069 Speaker 2: Muma Mia podcast is curating some are listening right across 12 00:00:45,109 --> 00:00:48,949 Speaker 2: the network. From pop culture to beauty to powerful interviews, 13 00:00:49,189 --> 00:00:50,309 Speaker 2: there's something for everyone. 14 00:00:50,389 --> 00:00:51,629 Speaker 3: There's a link in the show notes. 15 00:00:58,309 --> 00:01:01,909 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast where 16 00:01:02,029 --> 00:01:05,349 Speaker 1: if parents are thinking about it, we are talking about it. 17 00:01:05,389 --> 00:01:08,389 Speaker 1: I'm Monique Boley and I'm joined by my gorgeous co host, 18 00:01:08,469 --> 00:01:13,229 Speaker 1: the delightful Stacey Hicks and big brain Amelia Lester. 19 00:01:13,549 --> 00:01:17,589 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, I just need to announce that I 20 00:01:17,709 --> 00:01:20,829 Speaker 4: ran to the bus this morning in pouring rain, so 21 00:01:21,109 --> 00:01:24,349 Speaker 4: I hope I'm giving glowy, not sweaty. But if I'm 22 00:01:24,429 --> 00:01:26,389 Speaker 4: giving sweaty, I apologize. 23 00:01:26,629 --> 00:01:28,029 Speaker 3: It's giving both and it's great. 24 00:01:28,149 --> 00:01:31,749 Speaker 4: The translation how I can only do so much very dewy. 25 00:01:31,789 --> 00:01:34,429 Speaker 1: I'm into it. It has been a very big week 26 00:01:34,429 --> 00:01:37,629 Speaker 1: in parenting culture. On today's show, there has been a 27 00:01:37,829 --> 00:01:41,909 Speaker 1: tiny shift in the marketing of Father's Date that I 28 00:01:41,989 --> 00:01:45,109 Speaker 1: need to unpack with you guys. Plus, does Bluey give 29 00:01:45,149 --> 00:01:48,629 Speaker 1: you warm feelings or the creeping sense that you're a 30 00:01:48,669 --> 00:01:52,269 Speaker 1: bit of a shit parent? Welcome to the Bluey inadequately 31 00:01:52,309 --> 00:01:54,429 Speaker 1: complex and at the end of the show, we're going 32 00:01:54,509 --> 00:01:55,989 Speaker 1: to tell you all the things we're loving and we 33 00:01:56,029 --> 00:01:58,589 Speaker 1: think that you might love too. It's kind of hot 34 00:01:58,629 --> 00:02:00,829 Speaker 1: tips and the stuff that we share with our friends. 35 00:02:01,069 --> 00:02:04,989 Speaker 1: But first, Stacey, you're the deputy editor of Mama Maya. 36 00:02:05,109 --> 00:02:07,829 Speaker 1: You're the big dog. What's been going off online this week? 37 00:02:08,029 --> 00:02:10,629 Speaker 2: Yes, second big dog technically, but I'll take big dog 38 00:02:10,669 --> 00:02:13,509 Speaker 2: as my title. But a story that really popped off 39 00:02:13,509 --> 00:02:16,149 Speaker 2: this week will make you feel very vindicated. If, like me, 40 00:02:16,349 --> 00:02:19,509 Speaker 2: despite it officially being spring, you've already achieved the daycare 41 00:02:19,589 --> 00:02:23,189 Speaker 2: Bingo card of sicknesses. If you have been completely flattened, 42 00:02:23,229 --> 00:02:25,589 Speaker 2: you are not alone this story was titled You're not 43 00:02:25,669 --> 00:02:28,589 Speaker 2: imagining it. There's a reason everyone is sicker. I think 44 00:02:28,629 --> 00:02:31,189 Speaker 2: this resonated so much with people because we all know 45 00:02:31,269 --> 00:02:34,829 Speaker 2: there's nothing quite like the hell of being sick when 46 00:02:35,069 --> 00:02:37,269 Speaker 2: someone else in your house is also sick at the 47 00:02:37,269 --> 00:02:39,509 Speaker 2: same time, especially if they're a person you have to 48 00:02:39,549 --> 00:02:41,989 Speaker 2: care for. So I think that's why this hit the 49 00:02:42,029 --> 00:02:44,269 Speaker 2: way it did. But while it's obviously hard to do 50 00:02:44,309 --> 00:02:47,749 Speaker 2: the sums on every single sickness, Zoe Rutchford spoke to 51 00:02:47,789 --> 00:02:50,389 Speaker 2: doctor Melanie Conroy about the figures that show that there's 52 00:02:50,429 --> 00:02:53,709 Speaker 2: already been two hundred and thirty thousand reported cases of 53 00:02:53,749 --> 00:02:56,589 Speaker 2: the flu this year. That's just the ones where they're reported, 54 00:02:56,669 --> 00:02:59,229 Speaker 2: not the heroes that soldier on without it. That is 55 00:02:59,269 --> 00:03:01,389 Speaker 2: the same number as what we had for the entire. 56 00:03:01,149 --> 00:03:03,309 Speaker 3: Year in twenty twenty two. Wow. 57 00:03:03,349 --> 00:03:07,069 Speaker 2: So's it's hitting people hard. And she cited a few 58 00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:11,269 Speaker 2: possible reasons for the incline so they include vaccination fatigue, 59 00:03:11,309 --> 00:03:13,629 Speaker 2: saying that maybe you know that's contributed to the fact 60 00:03:13,629 --> 00:03:16,149 Speaker 2: that half of Australians haven't gotten their COVID booster and 61 00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:19,269 Speaker 2: haven't done their flu shot this year, or it's out 62 00:03:19,309 --> 00:03:22,429 Speaker 2: of pocket costs and it's also another potential reason is 63 00:03:22,429 --> 00:03:25,029 Speaker 2: there is a lot more full return to the office now, 64 00:03:25,109 --> 00:03:27,229 Speaker 2: so a lot of us are, you know, sweaty on 65 00:03:27,269 --> 00:03:29,229 Speaker 2: the bus or on the train and. 66 00:03:29,109 --> 00:03:31,109 Speaker 3: Sharing the dresses around. Yes. 67 00:03:31,909 --> 00:03:35,149 Speaker 4: No, this is really interesting because a it's true, I 68 00:03:35,269 --> 00:03:37,549 Speaker 4: just feel like I've been living in sickness for many 69 00:03:37,549 --> 00:03:40,789 Speaker 4: months now. I came across an article on the Examine newsletter, 70 00:03:40,789 --> 00:03:42,869 Speaker 4: which is a science newsletter put out by The Herald 71 00:03:42,869 --> 00:03:45,829 Speaker 4: and the Age, and it looked at how even though 72 00:03:45,869 --> 00:03:49,589 Speaker 4: the federal government recommends the flu shot for kids under 73 00:03:49,629 --> 00:03:52,749 Speaker 4: five and it makes it free, the message about the 74 00:03:52,789 --> 00:03:56,109 Speaker 4: importance of getting that flu vaccine is just not getting 75 00:03:56,109 --> 00:03:58,669 Speaker 4: through to parents, and it looked at some reasons why 76 00:03:58,709 --> 00:04:02,109 Speaker 4: that might be. Basically, they did cite that sense of 77 00:04:02,389 --> 00:04:05,269 Speaker 4: parents being concerned about viral load, like getting too many 78 00:04:05,429 --> 00:04:08,789 Speaker 4: vaccinations and experts say, this is not a thing, do 79 00:04:08,989 --> 00:04:11,829 Speaker 4: not worry about that. And then they also thought that 80 00:04:11,949 --> 00:04:15,589 Speaker 4: maybe it was a post pandemic effect, whereby during COVID 81 00:04:15,709 --> 00:04:18,549 Speaker 4: parents wanted to do anything they could to protect their children, 82 00:04:18,629 --> 00:04:22,549 Speaker 4: and before the COVID vaccine that was essentially the flu vaccine. 83 00:04:22,709 --> 00:04:25,549 Speaker 4: But now we've all kind of forgotten about flu when 84 00:04:25,549 --> 00:04:28,269 Speaker 4: we really shouldn't be. I don't mean to alarm anyone, 85 00:04:28,349 --> 00:04:31,149 Speaker 4: but a startling fact from this newsletter is that the 86 00:04:31,149 --> 00:04:34,629 Speaker 4: hospitalization rate for kids under five of the flu actually 87 00:04:34,709 --> 00:04:38,429 Speaker 4: exceeds that of sixty five plus adults. It's a dangerous 88 00:04:38,669 --> 00:04:41,509 Speaker 4: illness and we are just not taking the steps that 89 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:42,069 Speaker 4: we need to. 90 00:04:42,509 --> 00:04:45,709 Speaker 1: Okay, So confession, I did not have a flu JAB 91 00:04:45,749 --> 00:04:47,909 Speaker 1: this year, and I'll tell you why. It's because I 92 00:04:48,029 --> 00:04:50,909 Speaker 1: quit my job. So when you work in a place, 93 00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:53,469 Speaker 1: they often run a flu JAB program, right, which makes 94 00:04:53,469 --> 00:04:55,749 Speaker 1: it really easy, because I think there's two barriers to 95 00:04:55,789 --> 00:04:59,109 Speaker 1: getting the flu JAB that immediately spring to mind. First 96 00:04:59,189 --> 00:05:02,589 Speaker 1: is cost and second is access right. And so when 97 00:05:02,589 --> 00:05:04,749 Speaker 1: you're in a workplace, often they take those two things 98 00:05:04,789 --> 00:05:06,589 Speaker 1: out of the equation. They make it free, and they 99 00:05:06,589 --> 00:05:08,109 Speaker 1: bring someone in to do it for you, so you 100 00:05:08,149 --> 00:05:10,509 Speaker 1: do it while you're at work. So the question I've 101 00:05:10,549 --> 00:05:13,229 Speaker 1: got is why don't they run flu jabs at schools? 102 00:05:13,669 --> 00:05:16,989 Speaker 1: Like there is a national immunization program that rolls out 103 00:05:17,109 --> 00:05:19,789 Speaker 1: some vaccinations, but why don't they just add flu to that. 104 00:05:20,029 --> 00:05:23,189 Speaker 4: I wonder if that would be actually quite controversial because 105 00:05:23,229 --> 00:05:28,709 Speaker 4: another interesting stat is that the nationwide percentage of children 106 00:05:28,789 --> 00:05:32,109 Speaker 4: who get all vaccines on average is ninety percent, but 107 00:05:32,229 --> 00:05:35,109 Speaker 4: less than fifty percent of children get the flu vaccine. 108 00:05:35,149 --> 00:05:37,669 Speaker 4: There's something about the flu vaccine where I think parents 109 00:05:37,709 --> 00:05:40,629 Speaker 4: are thinking that it's like optional or that it's not important, 110 00:05:40,709 --> 00:05:42,949 Speaker 4: and that's leading to this decline in rates. 111 00:05:43,349 --> 00:05:48,189 Speaker 1: Meally, you mentioned that, like the messaging isn't ubiquitous around 112 00:05:48,229 --> 00:05:51,669 Speaker 1: flu season? Do Public Health need to spend more money 113 00:05:51,789 --> 00:05:55,029 Speaker 1: on social media marketing to get the messages into our feeds? 114 00:05:55,069 --> 00:05:55,149 Speaker 2: Like? 115 00:05:55,149 --> 00:05:56,989 Speaker 1: I feel like that is how we are all consuming 116 00:05:57,029 --> 00:05:59,549 Speaker 1: news and information now, does it just need to be 117 00:05:59,589 --> 00:06:03,629 Speaker 1: more like, spend less on ads, spend more in social media. 118 00:06:03,709 --> 00:06:06,829 Speaker 4: Well, and I also think that specifically what the campaign 119 00:06:06,909 --> 00:06:10,029 Speaker 4: should say is this fact that for children under FO 120 00:06:10,869 --> 00:06:14,829 Speaker 4: this is resulting in more hospitalizations than for older adults, 121 00:06:14,869 --> 00:06:17,509 Speaker 4: because I think we all have this hangover feeling of 122 00:06:17,549 --> 00:06:20,109 Speaker 4: like it's something that affects older adults and we're kind 123 00:06:20,149 --> 00:06:22,629 Speaker 4: of getting it as an active benevolence for the oldies. 124 00:06:22,669 --> 00:06:23,789 Speaker 4: But that's not the case. 125 00:06:24,309 --> 00:06:26,629 Speaker 1: Cool, So what else were parents clicking on this week's stacy? 126 00:06:26,789 --> 00:06:30,469 Speaker 2: Another story that went gangbusters was called are you ready 127 00:06:30,509 --> 00:06:30,789 Speaker 2: for It? 128 00:06:31,029 --> 00:06:31,309 Speaker 3: Mum? 129 00:06:31,429 --> 00:06:35,429 Speaker 2: That means ejaculate? The emojis aren't as innocent as they look. 130 00:06:35,749 --> 00:06:39,989 Speaker 2: And it was basically a glossary republished essentially decoding what 131 00:06:40,069 --> 00:06:42,149 Speaker 2: all the emojis mean so that you can figure out 132 00:06:42,149 --> 00:06:44,989 Speaker 2: which ones you're using wrong for your gen al, for children, 133 00:06:45,349 --> 00:06:46,909 Speaker 2: and if you want to snoop in their phone, you'll 134 00:06:46,909 --> 00:06:48,749 Speaker 2: be able to code what they're saying to one another 135 00:06:48,789 --> 00:06:52,309 Speaker 2: if you're so inclined. So generally we know the ones 136 00:06:52,429 --> 00:06:56,309 Speaker 2: like the eggplant meaning dick dick. I was gonna go 137 00:06:56,349 --> 00:06:57,789 Speaker 2: with Willie for some reason. 138 00:07:00,109 --> 00:07:01,149 Speaker 1: First to use silly names. 139 00:07:01,229 --> 00:07:04,949 Speaker 2: Yes, so the eggplant is penis. There are so many more, 140 00:07:05,109 --> 00:07:07,469 Speaker 2: so Mom's and Emilia. I'm gonna do a little quiz 141 00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:09,109 Speaker 2: with you to see if you're down with the kids 142 00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,669 Speaker 2: and see if you're doing these correctly. Okay, first one, 143 00:07:12,989 --> 00:07:15,109 Speaker 2: what do you think the red heart means love? 144 00:07:15,549 --> 00:07:15,789 Speaker 4: Yeah? 145 00:07:15,909 --> 00:07:19,029 Speaker 3: Love yeah, trick question, the red heart is love. You're safe. Okay, 146 00:07:19,069 --> 00:07:20,189 Speaker 3: you can use your red heart. 147 00:07:20,349 --> 00:07:22,229 Speaker 4: So you haven't recovered from the fact that you're not 148 00:07:22,309 --> 00:07:25,309 Speaker 4: meant to use the laughing crying one because apparently that 149 00:07:25,349 --> 00:07:27,429 Speaker 4: pegs me as an elder Millennials. 150 00:07:27,029 --> 00:07:28,789 Speaker 3: We're so uncall using that. It's fine. 151 00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:33,029 Speaker 2: We're meant to use the skull anyway. Yeah, meant to say, 152 00:07:33,029 --> 00:07:36,829 Speaker 2: you're like dying laughing. We're meant to use the skull anyway, 153 00:07:36,989 --> 00:07:38,349 Speaker 2: let's stick without crying laughing. 154 00:07:38,349 --> 00:07:39,029 Speaker 3: It's fine. 155 00:07:39,309 --> 00:07:41,549 Speaker 2: But the next one, this shocks me because this is 156 00:07:41,589 --> 00:07:44,549 Speaker 2: my default emoji. This is my top used emoji, so 157 00:07:44,589 --> 00:07:46,429 Speaker 2: I am sending a very confused message. 158 00:07:46,629 --> 00:07:49,149 Speaker 1: The purple heart friendship. 159 00:07:49,629 --> 00:07:51,949 Speaker 3: Oh god, is this the ejaculate one? 160 00:07:53,069 --> 00:07:58,309 Speaker 2: No, but close. It means you're aroused. Oh, arousal. That's 161 00:07:58,389 --> 00:08:01,309 Speaker 2: the purple heart, and I've been sending that to all 162 00:08:01,349 --> 00:08:02,349 Speaker 2: my coworkers. 163 00:08:02,349 --> 00:08:06,509 Speaker 4: Actually, it actually means the word beginning with H, doesn't it. 164 00:08:06,749 --> 00:08:13,629 Speaker 2: Yeah, Horney horny purple heart segment. Okay, now the corn cob, like, 165 00:08:13,709 --> 00:08:15,189 Speaker 2: what could that possibly mean? 166 00:08:15,549 --> 00:08:16,229 Speaker 3: So innocent? 167 00:08:16,669 --> 00:08:20,149 Speaker 1: It means cringe, so corny, so cringe. 168 00:08:20,309 --> 00:08:22,749 Speaker 2: No, well, it's code for porn. So they use this 169 00:08:22,789 --> 00:08:25,549 Speaker 2: a lot on TikTok as code for porn because it 170 00:08:25,629 --> 00:08:31,669 Speaker 2: rhymes with corn. Okay, very simple. Now this one genuinely 171 00:08:31,669 --> 00:08:35,709 Speaker 2: shocked a lot of us. The little brain emoji thinking emoji. 172 00:08:35,709 --> 00:08:36,509 Speaker 2: The little brain. 173 00:08:36,869 --> 00:08:39,829 Speaker 1: Nerd like, what a nerd? Oh, my god, such a nerd? 174 00:08:40,429 --> 00:08:44,909 Speaker 2: Sixty nine Amelia's pretty close, really close. It is code 175 00:08:44,909 --> 00:08:45,789 Speaker 2: for head. 176 00:08:46,309 --> 00:08:49,709 Speaker 1: Oh I'm so sorry. 177 00:08:49,949 --> 00:08:53,229 Speaker 4: We never talked about such things when I was a child. 178 00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:56,149 Speaker 2: I know, we were just such innocent little beans. And 179 00:08:56,189 --> 00:08:59,309 Speaker 2: the last one I had was the bolonnaise the spaghetti 180 00:08:59,349 --> 00:09:03,509 Speaker 2: noodles with the fork. I'm hungry for mind boggles, some 181 00:09:03,669 --> 00:09:09,869 Speaker 2: to pray. I know, nudes, send nudes. Noodles, noodles, send nudes. 182 00:09:10,349 --> 00:09:11,429 Speaker 3: So there you go, your education. 183 00:09:11,549 --> 00:09:13,709 Speaker 4: So have you actually managed to get yourself out of 184 00:09:13,749 --> 00:09:15,829 Speaker 4: the habit of using the purple hard at work? Because 185 00:09:15,909 --> 00:09:17,109 Speaker 4: I'm embarrassed for you. 186 00:09:17,109 --> 00:09:18,949 Speaker 2: No, I'm still sending it, but I just avoid sending 187 00:09:19,029 --> 00:09:21,349 Speaker 2: it to the gen Z's because that feels more risky. 188 00:09:22,309 --> 00:09:23,389 Speaker 3: So ejaculate. 189 00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,989 Speaker 1: We need to do the water, the splashy. 190 00:09:25,549 --> 00:09:27,389 Speaker 3: Warsmon's ding ding ding. 191 00:09:27,509 --> 00:09:30,749 Speaker 2: That's right, it's the splashy water yeap, that is ejaculate. 192 00:09:30,869 --> 00:09:32,789 Speaker 2: So now you know what to avoid. The rest of 193 00:09:32,829 --> 00:09:34,189 Speaker 2: the list will be in the show notes. 194 00:09:34,909 --> 00:09:37,269 Speaker 1: Okay, into the main stuff for this week. So the 195 00:09:37,309 --> 00:09:40,069 Speaker 1: first topic we want to kind of hook into an 196 00:09:40,149 --> 00:09:43,549 Speaker 1: unpack is about Father's Day. Now, Father's Day is Sunday 197 00:09:43,589 --> 00:09:46,109 Speaker 1: and the marketing for it is in full swing. My 198 00:09:46,189 --> 00:09:49,749 Speaker 1: letterbox is full of Bunning's catalogs and stracco sheds and 199 00:09:49,829 --> 00:09:52,789 Speaker 1: like Dan Murphy's catalogs. But I got an email this 200 00:09:52,869 --> 00:09:56,349 Speaker 1: week from a major brand asking something that I've never 201 00:09:56,349 --> 00:09:59,509 Speaker 1: seen before. It asked if I wanted to opt out 202 00:09:59,669 --> 00:10:04,709 Speaker 1: of Father's Day marketing, And the email said, we understand 203 00:10:04,789 --> 00:10:08,429 Speaker 1: that Father's Day is a sensitive time for many. If 204 00:10:08,469 --> 00:10:11,829 Speaker 1: you'd prefer not to receive any Father's Day related emails, 205 00:10:11,869 --> 00:10:14,149 Speaker 1: you can opt out by clicking the button below. And 206 00:10:14,229 --> 00:10:16,269 Speaker 1: it got me thinking because I think in the last 207 00:10:16,349 --> 00:10:19,709 Speaker 1: maybe six or seven years, we've seen this cultural shift 208 00:10:19,829 --> 00:10:22,749 Speaker 1: around Mother's Day, like whereas a decade ago it was 209 00:10:22,829 --> 00:10:25,789 Speaker 1: kind of wall to wall like World's Best Mom sort 210 00:10:25,829 --> 00:10:30,949 Speaker 1: of marketing, Whereas now it's understood that not everyone's experience 211 00:10:31,029 --> 00:10:33,709 Speaker 1: of motherhood and not everyone's relationship with their mom is 212 00:10:33,829 --> 00:10:37,109 Speaker 1: like a Hallmark card. There is sort of grief and estrangement, 213 00:10:37,149 --> 00:10:40,909 Speaker 1: and it can be complicated. So brands and people are 214 00:10:40,949 --> 00:10:43,749 Speaker 1: a little bit more delicate now around how they talk 215 00:10:43,749 --> 00:10:46,629 Speaker 1: about Mother's Day. But this is the first time I've 216 00:10:46,669 --> 00:10:49,549 Speaker 1: seen this same treatment applied to Father's Day. So I 217 00:10:49,549 --> 00:10:51,349 Speaker 1: wanted to check in with you guys. Where are we 218 00:10:51,429 --> 00:10:53,989 Speaker 1: at with Father's Day this year? Stacey, what do you 219 00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:55,029 Speaker 1: think it all means. 220 00:10:55,229 --> 00:10:56,229 Speaker 3: I think it's interesting. 221 00:10:56,269 --> 00:10:58,989 Speaker 2: I definitely think it is a step towards recognizing the 222 00:10:59,029 --> 00:11:02,269 Speaker 2: sensitivities around it for some people on the more serious 223 00:11:02,269 --> 00:11:05,149 Speaker 2: side of it, because I think we never really consider 224 00:11:05,189 --> 00:11:07,469 Speaker 2: the fathers or the men out there who might be 225 00:11:07,509 --> 00:11:09,829 Speaker 2: receiving these emails and are desperate to become a dad 226 00:11:09,829 --> 00:11:14,269 Speaker 2: but also struggling with infertility or their partner having pregnancy loss. 227 00:11:14,469 --> 00:11:16,229 Speaker 2: So I think on that side of things, it's really 228 00:11:16,309 --> 00:11:19,789 Speaker 2: lovely that there is that sensitivity there for people who 229 00:11:19,829 --> 00:11:22,549 Speaker 2: maybe don't have the best relationship or are longing to 230 00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:25,029 Speaker 2: be fathers and aren't at this point in their lives. 231 00:11:25,429 --> 00:11:28,469 Speaker 2: But on the more cynical side of this, I just 232 00:11:28,469 --> 00:11:30,829 Speaker 2: think people might use this opt out situation to get 233 00:11:30,909 --> 00:11:32,789 Speaker 2: rid of the emails because they never buy their dad 234 00:11:32,789 --> 00:11:35,349 Speaker 2: are present. Like every year my dad tells me he 235 00:11:35,389 --> 00:11:38,029 Speaker 2: doesn't want a present. Every year, I believe him. I 236 00:11:38,149 --> 00:11:39,989 Speaker 2: just take him for a drink, which he usually ends 237 00:11:40,069 --> 00:11:42,909 Speaker 2: up paying for. And that's that, Like Father's Day is 238 00:11:42,949 --> 00:11:45,029 Speaker 2: just not thought about as much as Mother's Day. 239 00:11:45,349 --> 00:11:47,509 Speaker 4: And I'm going to get even more cynical on you, 240 00:11:48,069 --> 00:11:50,629 Speaker 4: and I want to step back and ask you both 241 00:11:50,709 --> 00:11:54,549 Speaker 4: how you feel about those emails for Mother's Day or 242 00:11:54,589 --> 00:11:56,909 Speaker 4: Father's Day, the ones that say, you know, let us 243 00:11:56,949 --> 00:11:59,109 Speaker 4: know if you have a complicated relationship with your mother, 244 00:11:59,149 --> 00:12:02,029 Speaker 4: Because why am I telling the brand that it's sort 245 00:12:02,029 --> 00:12:05,229 Speaker 4: of the brand pretending to be sensitive and concerned about 246 00:12:05,229 --> 00:12:08,549 Speaker 4: my feelings, but they're also harvesting my data. Why am 247 00:12:08,629 --> 00:12:11,749 Speaker 4: I telling them about my complicated family dynamics? Probably so 248 00:12:11,829 --> 00:12:13,589 Speaker 4: that they can sell me more stuff? Or am I 249 00:12:13,629 --> 00:12:15,629 Speaker 4: being cynical? Do we think that these are helpful? 250 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:19,189 Speaker 1: No, that was my second thought. My first thought was, oh, 251 00:12:19,229 --> 00:12:21,429 Speaker 1: how interesting. My second thought was, oh, this is another 252 00:12:21,549 --> 00:12:24,749 Speaker 1: data point for you to fill your algorithm. And also 253 00:12:25,269 --> 00:12:28,709 Speaker 1: it also feels like savvy marketing dressed up as empathy, 254 00:12:28,869 --> 00:12:31,349 Speaker 1: So I do see that. I'm also interested in why 255 00:12:31,389 --> 00:12:34,749 Speaker 1: there was a lag for this to hit the dad's content, 256 00:12:34,909 --> 00:12:37,909 Speaker 1: And I wonder if it's because My theory is like 257 00:12:38,029 --> 00:12:41,429 Speaker 1: dads seem to carry like less emotional weight in the culture. 258 00:12:41,509 --> 00:12:43,309 Speaker 1: Like you think about the way dads are depicted in 259 00:12:43,349 --> 00:12:46,669 Speaker 1: pop culture, and it's like feel done fee from modern 260 00:12:46,669 --> 00:12:50,629 Speaker 1: family or like daddy pig, just like well meaning but 261 00:12:50,789 --> 00:12:55,109 Speaker 1: quite bumbling dads. So I think fatherhood feels less emotionally 262 00:12:55,149 --> 00:12:57,749 Speaker 1: loaded like in the public's imagination. So I think there's 263 00:12:57,949 --> 00:13:02,029 Speaker 1: been less pressure on brands to handle Father's Day carefully 264 00:13:02,709 --> 00:13:05,069 Speaker 1: until now. I think this is a kind of an 265 00:13:05,109 --> 00:13:07,869 Speaker 1: interesting shift here. It's like, are we finally starting to 266 00:13:07,909 --> 00:13:11,229 Speaker 1: see dads differently? And if that's the case, like Father's 267 00:13:11,309 --> 00:13:13,509 Speaker 1: Day might start to look really different in future. So 268 00:13:13,549 --> 00:13:16,149 Speaker 1: I hear your cynicism. I don't disagree with it. I 269 00:13:16,149 --> 00:13:18,589 Speaker 1: think you're right about that. I'm just holding out hope 270 00:13:18,629 --> 00:13:20,509 Speaker 1: that the dial is kind of shifting here. 271 00:13:20,669 --> 00:13:23,549 Speaker 4: No, that's really interesting, Mon's I hadn't thought about that, 272 00:13:23,629 --> 00:13:26,789 Speaker 4: but now that you mentioned, say, Daddy Pig from pepper Pig. 273 00:13:26,909 --> 00:13:29,949 Speaker 4: There's this iconic song from pepper Pig where they sing 274 00:13:30,069 --> 00:13:32,589 Speaker 4: He's a bit of an expert about Daddy Pig, and 275 00:13:32,629 --> 00:13:35,269 Speaker 4: the idea is that he pretends that he's an expert 276 00:13:35,309 --> 00:13:38,309 Speaker 4: in all sorts of things, but actually he's pretty useless 277 00:13:38,309 --> 00:13:41,069 Speaker 4: at most things. And that really is the sort of 278 00:13:41,109 --> 00:13:45,029 Speaker 4: trope that we have around dads. There's another trope that 279 00:13:45,069 --> 00:13:47,109 Speaker 4: I think this is kind of reversing too, and it 280 00:13:47,269 --> 00:13:50,069 Speaker 4: relates to what you said, Stacy, for people who long 281 00:13:50,189 --> 00:13:53,909 Speaker 4: to be dads. Yeah, I'm wondering how big that group is. 282 00:13:54,149 --> 00:13:57,629 Speaker 4: I don't want to stereotype, but certainly the pressures that 283 00:13:57,829 --> 00:14:00,949 Speaker 4: are on women to pro create are so much more 284 00:14:00,989 --> 00:14:05,069 Speaker 4: intense and explicit. But are we now getting to the 285 00:14:05,109 --> 00:14:09,109 Speaker 4: point where men too are getting these pressures that they 286 00:14:09,189 --> 00:14:12,709 Speaker 4: need to sort of form adulthood and have babies. 287 00:14:13,189 --> 00:14:17,309 Speaker 2: Yeah, it just feels like maybe we're putting that onto 288 00:14:17,309 --> 00:14:19,389 Speaker 2: people a little bit like that, it's getting to that 289 00:14:19,469 --> 00:14:22,349 Speaker 2: extreme point where we're being sensitive about every possible thing, 290 00:14:22,389 --> 00:14:24,989 Speaker 2: when really you can choose to turn away from that 291 00:14:25,069 --> 00:14:27,789 Speaker 2: if you want. So, does it work for you, like Mon's, 292 00:14:27,789 --> 00:14:30,269 Speaker 2: doesn't make you think more of a brand that they're 293 00:14:30,269 --> 00:14:32,469 Speaker 2: doing this, or does it make you think they are 294 00:14:32,469 --> 00:14:33,589 Speaker 2: being a bit manipulative? 295 00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:37,789 Speaker 1: No, I'm cynical about it, but I do think that sometimes, 296 00:14:38,029 --> 00:14:41,509 Speaker 1: like brands respond to cultural touch points, brands respond to 297 00:14:41,549 --> 00:14:44,909 Speaker 1: the cultural temperature, and so I think it's an interesting signifier. 298 00:14:46,749 --> 00:14:49,189 Speaker 2: Now here's something which I've been hanging to talk about 299 00:14:49,189 --> 00:14:53,869 Speaker 2: this week. Hamma barn, dollar bucks, wackadoo. If you recognize 300 00:14:53,909 --> 00:14:57,429 Speaker 2: those sounds I just made as actual words, then congratulations. 301 00:14:57,669 --> 00:14:59,269 Speaker 2: You are one of the millions of people who is 302 00:14:59,309 --> 00:15:04,309 Speaker 2: watching what is considered Australia's most successful show ever, Bluey So, 303 00:15:04,429 --> 00:15:07,229 Speaker 2: the animated series by Joe Brahm about the Healer Dog 304 00:15:07,269 --> 00:15:11,069 Speaker 2: family is now in sixty countries and was viewed for 305 00:15:11,189 --> 00:15:14,549 Speaker 2: fifty five point six billion minutes last year. Most of 306 00:15:14,589 --> 00:15:17,629 Speaker 2: those came from my household alone, And if you're like me, 307 00:15:17,669 --> 00:15:19,509 Speaker 2: you still can't get through a few of the episodes 308 00:15:19,589 --> 00:15:24,549 Speaker 2: Baby Race, Granddad Camping without crying. Such is the power 309 00:15:24,629 --> 00:15:27,749 Speaker 2: of these animated dogs. As far as it goes with 310 00:15:27,829 --> 00:15:30,069 Speaker 2: screen time, it's widely considered to be one of the 311 00:15:30,109 --> 00:15:33,109 Speaker 2: better shows for our kids. So a new article from 312 00:15:33,149 --> 00:15:36,349 Speaker 2: The Conversation talked about how researchers watched one hundred and 313 00:15:36,429 --> 00:15:39,029 Speaker 2: fifty episodes of Blue, which I feel like is every 314 00:15:39,149 --> 00:15:43,269 Speaker 2: episode of Blue surely, and they found that she Blue 315 00:15:43,429 --> 00:15:45,789 Speaker 2: being a girl. Just in case you weren't clear, I know, 316 00:15:45,869 --> 00:15:48,309 Speaker 2: Mia Friedman only found out about a month ago that 317 00:15:48,469 --> 00:15:52,029 Speaker 2: Bluey is teaching kid's resilience in the face of life's 318 00:15:52,109 --> 00:15:55,029 Speaker 2: ups and downs. Apparently it's the first time the show's 319 00:15:55,069 --> 00:15:58,549 Speaker 2: been systematically examined like this to see how it's teaching 320 00:15:58,749 --> 00:16:01,909 Speaker 2: resilient behavior, and nearly half of the episodes have that 321 00:16:02,029 --> 00:16:06,549 Speaker 2: as the primary or the secondary theme. So, Amelia, are 322 00:16:06,589 --> 00:16:08,349 Speaker 2: you as in love with Blue as I am. 323 00:16:09,349 --> 00:16:10,749 Speaker 3: I love that you brought this up. 324 00:16:10,789 --> 00:16:13,629 Speaker 4: I have really complicated feelings that I'm looking forward to 325 00:16:13,749 --> 00:16:16,149 Speaker 4: unpacking with you both. I should say that when I 326 00:16:16,269 --> 00:16:19,109 Speaker 4: moved back to Australia from the United States last year, 327 00:16:20,029 --> 00:16:22,949 Speaker 4: the only thing anyone said to me about the move 328 00:16:23,629 --> 00:16:26,389 Speaker 4: was is it going to be like Blue there? I 329 00:16:26,629 --> 00:16:32,949 Speaker 4: cannot overstate the way that Bluie has shaped international perceptions 330 00:16:32,989 --> 00:16:36,149 Speaker 4: of Australia and of the life of children in Australia. 331 00:16:36,189 --> 00:16:38,789 Speaker 4: They think that it's like Bluie, and look, I was 332 00:16:38,869 --> 00:16:40,549 Speaker 4: kind of curious about whether it would be like Blue 333 00:16:40,669 --> 00:16:42,549 Speaker 4: as well, and to some extent. 334 00:16:42,269 --> 00:16:42,949 Speaker 3: It really is. 335 00:16:43,029 --> 00:16:46,109 Speaker 4: I think it captures something that's still very present in 336 00:16:46,109 --> 00:16:50,349 Speaker 4: an Australian childhood that is gone from at least American childhoods, 337 00:16:50,389 --> 00:16:54,189 Speaker 4: which is it feels more carefree, it feels more safe, 338 00:16:54,789 --> 00:16:57,989 Speaker 4: it feels more harmonious. So I'd say that it's a 339 00:16:58,029 --> 00:17:00,749 Speaker 4: really nice depiction of Australian childhood. 340 00:17:00,869 --> 00:17:04,229 Speaker 1: Oh you know what, you two, This show does not 341 00:17:04,429 --> 00:17:08,269 Speaker 1: need any more fans. I can hear you both loving it. 342 00:17:08,469 --> 00:17:12,749 Speaker 1: Seek we know it's the best show on TV. Blah 343 00:17:12,829 --> 00:17:18,189 Speaker 1: blah blah. Joe Brahm's a genius it's gorgeous. What's interesting 344 00:17:19,069 --> 00:17:24,309 Speaker 1: is the unpopular opinion, the undercurrent of I can't watch this. 345 00:17:24,709 --> 00:17:26,829 Speaker 1: It's making me feel like a shit parent. 346 00:17:26,909 --> 00:17:29,509 Speaker 4: Okay, I'm glad that you brought that up, because this 347 00:17:29,549 --> 00:17:31,629 Speaker 4: is where the complicated feelings come in. I got a 348 00:17:31,709 --> 00:17:34,469 Speaker 4: text from a friend the other day. She has three children. 349 00:17:34,589 --> 00:17:37,749 Speaker 4: I think of her as an amazing parent. For the record, 350 00:17:38,589 --> 00:17:40,829 Speaker 4: she wrote me a text pretty much out of the blue. 351 00:17:40,909 --> 00:17:43,829 Speaker 4: She said, I'm the bearer of some reassurance about parenting. 352 00:17:44,429 --> 00:17:47,709 Speaker 4: I was noodling around and found some conversation about how 353 00:17:47,789 --> 00:17:50,309 Speaker 4: parents who watch Blue with their kids are talking to 354 00:17:50,389 --> 00:17:53,269 Speaker 4: each other and their shrinks about how the show makes 355 00:17:53,309 --> 00:17:56,749 Speaker 4: them feel like attached, in attentive parents who do not 356 00:17:56,869 --> 00:17:59,149 Speaker 4: play enough with their kids. And I thought, well, if 357 00:17:59,189 --> 00:18:01,469 Speaker 4: she's feeling like that. To be honest, I'm feeling a 358 00:18:01,469 --> 00:18:02,709 Speaker 4: bit like that too. 359 00:18:02,829 --> 00:18:05,589 Speaker 1: Yeah. It feels unpopular to say it, but there is 360 00:18:05,629 --> 00:18:09,149 Speaker 1: this big swell, this groundswell of parents talking to their 361 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:12,509 Speaker 1: therapist saying this show makes me feel so shit, And 362 00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:14,949 Speaker 1: I think that's really interesting to unpack. I saw a 363 00:18:14,989 --> 00:18:19,229 Speaker 1: great article on substack. Jess Commons wrote it. She's a journalist, 364 00:18:19,269 --> 00:18:22,309 Speaker 1: she's got a substack called mother Loading, and she wrote 365 00:18:22,349 --> 00:18:25,109 Speaker 1: about it as well earlier this year and said, how 366 00:18:25,229 --> 00:18:30,069 Speaker 1: dare these cartoon dogs with seemingly no financial troubles and 367 00:18:30,309 --> 00:18:33,309 Speaker 1: endless amounts of time show me up? There is no 368 00:18:33,549 --> 00:18:37,909 Speaker 1: way I can be as engaged, as invested, as imaginative 369 00:18:37,909 --> 00:18:40,949 Speaker 1: as them, and it makes me feel shitty. And there's 370 00:18:41,069 --> 00:18:43,629 Speaker 1: also there was this hilarious piece in The New Yorker 371 00:18:43,669 --> 00:18:49,149 Speaker 1: by Ellis Rosen called Blue's Dad thinks He's so great 372 00:18:49,949 --> 00:18:53,229 Speaker 1: and it starts like this goes well, there is again, 373 00:18:53,549 --> 00:18:57,469 Speaker 1: mister perfect dad, the best father ever to grace the 374 00:18:57,509 --> 00:19:01,389 Speaker 1: television screen. That's what everyone says anyway, including my wife 375 00:19:01,429 --> 00:19:04,429 Speaker 1: and children, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I 376 00:19:04,509 --> 00:19:07,829 Speaker 1: definitely didn't mind when my daughter asked me to pretend 377 00:19:07,869 --> 00:19:10,829 Speaker 1: to be Blue's dad, even though she was pretending to 378 00:19:10,869 --> 00:19:15,109 Speaker 1: be Bluey. Like, the struggle is real. There are parents 379 00:19:15,149 --> 00:19:19,549 Speaker 1: out there who feel kind of insecure. This show brings 380 00:19:19,589 --> 00:19:22,269 Speaker 1: up a lot of feelings of like guilt and rejection 381 00:19:22,509 --> 00:19:25,389 Speaker 1: and fear and maybe defense. And I think that this 382 00:19:25,469 --> 00:19:30,109 Speaker 1: show very quietly exposes the gap between the parent that 383 00:19:30,829 --> 00:19:33,829 Speaker 1: we are and the parent we wish we were. And 384 00:19:33,869 --> 00:19:34,949 Speaker 1: that's confronting. 385 00:19:35,429 --> 00:19:38,309 Speaker 4: Yeah, let's call it the Blue backlash. I've started seeing 386 00:19:38,309 --> 00:19:40,669 Speaker 4: it everywhere since I got that text. I found an 387 00:19:40,749 --> 00:19:43,429 Speaker 4: article on Good Housekeeping that said Bluie is fun to watch, 388 00:19:43,469 --> 00:19:46,029 Speaker 4: but it makes parents feel like crap. And I've got 389 00:19:46,029 --> 00:19:47,989 Speaker 4: an example of how it makes me feel like crap. 390 00:19:48,309 --> 00:19:51,109 Speaker 4: There's an episode called Stickbird, which I think about a lot, 391 00:19:51,149 --> 00:19:54,669 Speaker 4: and in that episode, Blue's dad Bandit is really upset 392 00:19:54,709 --> 00:19:58,869 Speaker 4: about something, and yet he still has to play with Bluie. 393 00:19:58,909 --> 00:19:59,629 Speaker 3: They're at the beach. 394 00:20:00,229 --> 00:20:03,949 Speaker 4: And what's very intriguing about this episode is that he 395 00:20:04,149 --> 00:20:06,829 Speaker 4: tells Bluie that he is a bit upset about something. 396 00:20:06,909 --> 00:20:09,429 Speaker 4: And in fact, mental health advocacy groups have praised this 397 00:20:09,549 --> 00:20:13,269 Speaker 4: episode for reminding men to talk about their emotions. So great, 398 00:20:13,349 --> 00:20:16,389 Speaker 4: let's make sure that Bluie gets that recognition. But what's 399 00:20:16,429 --> 00:20:19,349 Speaker 4: interesting is that he manages to hold it in having 400 00:20:19,429 --> 00:20:23,389 Speaker 4: expressed that sadness, and he doesn't tell Bluie why he's sad. 401 00:20:23,789 --> 00:20:26,509 Speaker 4: And I think about that because that's a really high 402 00:20:26,549 --> 00:20:29,309 Speaker 4: bar if you're really sad or upset about something and 403 00:20:29,349 --> 00:20:33,029 Speaker 4: your parenting to just merely say I'm upset about something, 404 00:20:33,109 --> 00:20:35,029 Speaker 4: it has nothing to do with you. Let's move on 405 00:20:35,149 --> 00:20:37,709 Speaker 4: and keep playing a game that's really hard to do. 406 00:20:37,829 --> 00:20:40,349 Speaker 4: I find myself wanting to share with my children why 407 00:20:40,429 --> 00:20:42,629 Speaker 4: I'm sad. And now maybe that's a boundary that I 408 00:20:42,629 --> 00:20:46,989 Speaker 4: shouldn't be crossing. But every time I do experience a 409 00:20:47,029 --> 00:20:50,709 Speaker 4: difficult chapter, I think about Stickford and how Bandit doesn't 410 00:20:50,709 --> 00:20:53,149 Speaker 4: say why he's sad, and it just feels like an 411 00:20:53,229 --> 00:20:54,149 Speaker 4: impossible bar. 412 00:20:54,669 --> 00:20:57,349 Speaker 1: The whole show is an impossible bar Amelia. The Whole Show, 413 00:20:57,469 --> 00:21:01,989 Speaker 1: like Bandit and Chili, are endlessly patient and playful and 414 00:21:02,189 --> 00:21:07,789 Speaker 1: available and navigating like complex emotional issues. They're never hiding 415 00:21:07,869 --> 00:21:10,949 Speaker 1: in the pantry scrolling their phone or like giving their 416 00:21:11,029 --> 00:21:16,149 Speaker 1: kids the finger behind their back. And even though it's fiction, like, 417 00:21:16,229 --> 00:21:20,309 Speaker 1: our brains are still comparing and what we see, yeah, 418 00:21:20,429 --> 00:21:22,909 Speaker 1: can make us uncomfortable with how we're doing things. And 419 00:21:22,949 --> 00:21:25,869 Speaker 1: I think the show, like you said, it models a 420 00:21:25,909 --> 00:21:28,669 Speaker 1: lot of amazing parenting, and so it has become in 421 00:21:28,669 --> 00:21:32,069 Speaker 1: the zeitgeist, like the default for great parenting is to 422 00:21:32,109 --> 00:21:36,149 Speaker 1: be like Bluie's parents. You know, they model this very slow, 423 00:21:36,389 --> 00:21:41,029 Speaker 1: very responsive, very playful parenting. But for most of us, 424 00:21:41,189 --> 00:21:45,589 Speaker 1: who are juggling work and fatigue and commutes and craziest schedules, 425 00:21:45,629 --> 00:21:48,309 Speaker 1: like we're tired and we're distracted, and it just feels 426 00:21:48,389 --> 00:21:49,429 Speaker 1: quite unattainable. 427 00:21:49,629 --> 00:21:50,509 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. 428 00:21:50,629 --> 00:21:53,349 Speaker 2: And I think there are episodes where you see the 429 00:21:53,429 --> 00:21:55,469 Speaker 2: mum and the dad on their phone, but the second 430 00:21:55,469 --> 00:21:57,749 Speaker 2: the child enters the room, the phone gets put away. 431 00:21:57,909 --> 00:21:59,469 Speaker 2: And I don't know that all of us could say 432 00:21:59,469 --> 00:22:02,389 Speaker 2: that that happens immediately when it's us. One of the 433 00:22:02,429 --> 00:22:04,869 Speaker 2: positives because I love to make myself feel bad. So 434 00:22:05,069 --> 00:22:07,029 Speaker 2: now that you've said it, I'm definitely thinking about it 435 00:22:07,029 --> 00:22:09,029 Speaker 2: more and thinking about all the times I've gone, oh, yeah, 436 00:22:09,069 --> 00:22:12,629 Speaker 2: I probably should be doing that, just like Chilli Heeler is. 437 00:22:12,949 --> 00:22:15,149 Speaker 2: But I think one of the ways that it's helped 438 00:22:15,269 --> 00:22:18,389 Speaker 2: if you're not a parent that finds play naturally comes 439 00:22:18,429 --> 00:22:20,989 Speaker 2: to them when your kids are at that age, imaginative 440 00:22:20,989 --> 00:22:24,389 Speaker 2: play I find especially embarrassing. Don't know why, but I've 441 00:22:24,389 --> 00:22:27,909 Speaker 2: found that Bluey is kind of a connector to some games, 442 00:22:27,949 --> 00:22:30,429 Speaker 2: all some activities that I can do with my daughter 443 00:22:30,829 --> 00:22:33,549 Speaker 2: that she recognizes from the show that I recognize from 444 00:22:33,589 --> 00:22:35,829 Speaker 2: the show, and then it feels like it's a level 445 00:22:35,829 --> 00:22:38,349 Speaker 2: playing field that we're doing what the Healer family did. 446 00:22:38,509 --> 00:22:38,669 Speaker 4: See. 447 00:22:38,709 --> 00:22:40,589 Speaker 3: There are some positives, so it is. 448 00:22:40,589 --> 00:22:42,269 Speaker 4: Useful anytime you have a balloon to play. 449 00:22:42,309 --> 00:22:44,709 Speaker 3: Keep it uppy. Let's face that. Yeah, I wanted to. 450 00:22:44,629 --> 00:22:48,149 Speaker 4: Get though, why we think it's kind of like pushing 451 00:22:48,149 --> 00:22:48,629 Speaker 4: our button. 452 00:22:49,189 --> 00:22:50,749 Speaker 3: I have a theory for why this is. 453 00:22:51,469 --> 00:22:54,989 Speaker 4: I think it's because it's depicting parents spending a lot 454 00:22:55,029 --> 00:22:57,469 Speaker 4: of one on one time with their children, giving them 455 00:22:57,509 --> 00:22:59,589 Speaker 4: a lot of attention, and we feel like we're not 456 00:22:59,629 --> 00:23:02,789 Speaker 4: doing enough of that. But I've got a really reassuring 457 00:23:02,829 --> 00:23:05,429 Speaker 4: newsflash for you, which is that we are actually spending 458 00:23:05,589 --> 00:23:08,709 Speaker 4: so much more time with our children than previous generations. 459 00:23:08,989 --> 00:23:12,349 Speaker 4: I found an economis start from twenty seventeen, so pre pandemic, 460 00:23:12,669 --> 00:23:14,869 Speaker 4: which said that parents are now spending twice as much 461 00:23:14,869 --> 00:23:17,229 Speaker 4: time with their children than they did fifty years ago. 462 00:23:17,869 --> 00:23:21,549 Speaker 4: So don't feel bad. We're already spending so much more 463 00:23:21,549 --> 00:23:23,789 Speaker 4: time with them. And it turns out even men are too. 464 00:23:23,949 --> 00:23:26,269 Speaker 4: So men are still spending less time with their children 465 00:23:26,389 --> 00:23:29,589 Speaker 4: than women are, but the amount of time has jumped 466 00:23:29,669 --> 00:23:32,429 Speaker 4: sixteen minutes a day over the last decade to fifty 467 00:23:32,509 --> 00:23:34,549 Speaker 4: nine minutes a day. Fifty nine minutes. I feel like 468 00:23:34,589 --> 00:23:36,949 Speaker 4: I'm probably spending around fifty nine minutes a day with 469 00:23:36,989 --> 00:23:40,029 Speaker 4: my children and that's average, and I loved that. One 470 00:23:40,069 --> 00:23:43,949 Speaker 4: exception to this trend is France. In France, people are 471 00:23:43,989 --> 00:23:47,349 Speaker 4: still sipping their wine and ignoring their remarkably well behaved children. 472 00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:51,109 Speaker 4: That's what the studies show, So don't feel bad. Australians 473 00:23:51,109 --> 00:23:53,349 Speaker 4: are spending plenty of time with their children, and Bluis 474 00:23:53,389 --> 00:23:54,869 Speaker 4: is accurately depicting. 475 00:23:54,509 --> 00:23:56,829 Speaker 1: That I feel like I've been too hard on Louis. 476 00:23:56,869 --> 00:23:58,909 Speaker 1: I do think it is the most beautiful show, the 477 00:23:58,949 --> 00:24:00,749 Speaker 1: most well made show on TV right now, and it 478 00:24:00,789 --> 00:24:03,669 Speaker 1: deserves all of its sissess and it should infiltrate France 479 00:24:03,749 --> 00:24:08,709 Speaker 1: and teach the French engage playful parenting familiar If I 480 00:24:08,749 --> 00:24:11,029 Speaker 1: am a parent and I watched this and I feel 481 00:24:11,029 --> 00:24:13,869 Speaker 1: the defense mechanism coming up, and I start to feel 482 00:24:13,869 --> 00:24:18,549 Speaker 1: the feelings of in us guilt, yep, what are therapists 483 00:24:18,669 --> 00:24:19,709 Speaker 1: telling parents? 484 00:24:19,989 --> 00:24:22,269 Speaker 4: Yeah, so this friend who texted me saying that she 485 00:24:22,349 --> 00:24:27,069 Speaker 4: feels bad actually asked around, and she asked an expert 486 00:24:27,109 --> 00:24:29,909 Speaker 4: who was a therapist, why she shouldn't feel bad about it. 487 00:24:30,109 --> 00:24:33,909 Speaker 4: And this therapist said, each episode shows eight minutes of 488 00:24:33,949 --> 00:24:37,909 Speaker 4: their day. Anyone compareing enthusiastically for eight minutes a day 489 00:24:38,309 --> 00:24:41,109 Speaker 4: for all we know Bandit spends four hours each day 490 00:24:41,149 --> 00:24:43,869 Speaker 4: on the couch watching the footy and drinking, and that. 491 00:24:43,749 --> 00:24:46,589 Speaker 2: Does actually make me feel better. We can do eight minutes, 492 00:24:46,589 --> 00:24:47,629 Speaker 2: We can do eight minutes. 493 00:24:48,109 --> 00:24:51,189 Speaker 1: Band needs to go to work, Guys, Bandit actually needs 494 00:24:51,269 --> 00:24:52,909 Speaker 1: to go and do some work, Like how are they 495 00:24:52,909 --> 00:24:58,789 Speaker 1: affording the three bedroom house in the cul de Sac? Stacy? Yes, Mons, 496 00:24:58,949 --> 00:25:00,349 Speaker 1: you know you're like, we're getting to know each other. 497 00:25:00,389 --> 00:25:02,589 Speaker 1: We don't really know each other that well. Yeah, I 498 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:04,869 Speaker 1: deep dived on you. I googled your name and I 499 00:25:04,949 --> 00:25:07,869 Speaker 1: started reading your work. Turns out used to be the 500 00:25:07,989 --> 00:25:09,389 Speaker 1: editor of Girlfriend magazine. 501 00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:12,389 Speaker 3: Yes, it was my dream job. It was so bad. 502 00:25:12,469 --> 00:25:13,349 Speaker 3: Apart from being here. 503 00:25:13,389 --> 00:25:16,189 Speaker 1: Of course, that's very cool. But the other thing that 504 00:25:16,349 --> 00:25:18,669 Speaker 1: worried me was I think I've said some things to 505 00:25:18,709 --> 00:25:20,789 Speaker 1: you that I wish I could take back now. So 506 00:25:20,829 --> 00:25:22,189 Speaker 1: I'm just confessing my sins to you. 507 00:25:22,469 --> 00:25:23,149 Speaker 4: What did you do? 508 00:25:23,949 --> 00:25:25,989 Speaker 1: I describe you as a mother of one, and I 509 00:25:26,109 --> 00:25:28,709 Speaker 1: may have at some point in our conversations said to you, 510 00:25:29,149 --> 00:25:30,069 Speaker 1: are you one and done? 511 00:25:30,509 --> 00:25:34,189 Speaker 4: Yeah? I'm so glad you raise this Monds, because I 512 00:25:34,229 --> 00:25:36,549 Speaker 4: feel like I've made the same faux pa with Stacy. 513 00:25:36,709 --> 00:25:38,789 Speaker 4: I was alerted to this because there was an article 514 00:25:38,789 --> 00:25:41,909 Speaker 4: on Vogue dot com by Liz Hammond recently and she 515 00:25:42,709 --> 00:25:46,749 Speaker 4: makes the plea that we stop using that phrase one 516 00:25:46,789 --> 00:25:49,269 Speaker 4: and done to describe families with one child. I didn't 517 00:25:49,269 --> 00:25:51,309 Speaker 4: even know that I shouldn't be using it. Let me 518 00:25:51,349 --> 00:25:53,669 Speaker 4: explain why she said we shouldn't be using it. She 519 00:25:53,789 --> 00:25:56,269 Speaker 4: has one five year old son, she's pretty sure she 520 00:25:56,269 --> 00:25:58,869 Speaker 4: doesn't want more children, and she says that one and 521 00:25:58,949 --> 00:26:02,269 Speaker 4: done fails to capture the complexity of raising a child 522 00:26:02,309 --> 00:26:06,029 Speaker 4: today because her responsibilities as a parent are not done 523 00:26:06,469 --> 00:26:09,909 Speaker 4: after giving birth. Stacy, are we doing it all wrong? 524 00:26:09,949 --> 00:26:12,029 Speaker 4: And why do you have a problem with one and done? 525 00:26:12,029 --> 00:26:14,949 Speaker 2: Well, you can both stop panicking. It's okay because I 526 00:26:14,989 --> 00:26:17,389 Speaker 2: have referred to myself as one and done until I 527 00:26:17,429 --> 00:26:20,749 Speaker 2: read this article as well, so it's absolutely fine. At 528 00:26:20,829 --> 00:26:23,189 Speaker 2: least to me. It hasn't bothered me. But I must 529 00:26:23,269 --> 00:26:26,709 Speaker 2: admit that that Vogue article did make me rethink the term, 530 00:26:27,069 --> 00:26:29,629 Speaker 2: because I thought it was really interesting that she argued 531 00:26:29,669 --> 00:26:32,429 Speaker 2: that when you say you're one and done, it makes 532 00:26:32,429 --> 00:26:34,229 Speaker 2: it sound like, you know, you popped out a kid, 533 00:26:34,469 --> 00:26:36,829 Speaker 2: You've done the hard part and now it's just going 534 00:26:36,869 --> 00:26:38,909 Speaker 2: to be easy, and it's so much easier than listen 535 00:26:38,989 --> 00:26:39,909 Speaker 2: not to Is it not? 536 00:26:40,149 --> 00:26:40,829 Speaker 3: It's so not. 537 00:26:42,669 --> 00:26:45,669 Speaker 2: I was on another podcast called The Kids or Trial 538 00:26:45,709 --> 00:26:49,029 Speaker 2: Free Podcasts, and Kelty, the host asked me this question 539 00:26:49,069 --> 00:26:50,789 Speaker 2: as well, because she said a lot of people who 540 00:26:50,829 --> 00:26:54,869 Speaker 2: are considering whether to have children at all often will say, well, 541 00:26:54,909 --> 00:26:57,669 Speaker 2: I'll just have one, as if it's a middle ground. 542 00:26:57,749 --> 00:27:00,149 Speaker 2: And she said, what is your take. Do you feel 543 00:27:00,149 --> 00:27:02,989 Speaker 2: like having one is closer to having two or closer 544 00:27:02,989 --> 00:27:05,709 Speaker 2: to having none? And I said, it is so much 545 00:27:05,789 --> 00:27:09,069 Speaker 2: closer to having two than to having none, Like my 546 00:27:09,109 --> 00:27:13,909 Speaker 2: life is un recognizable from before having my child. And 547 00:27:14,189 --> 00:27:18,029 Speaker 2: so I think there's this understanding that it's like parenting light. 548 00:27:18,549 --> 00:27:20,429 Speaker 2: You know that you just got the easy way out 549 00:27:20,469 --> 00:27:23,269 Speaker 2: of doing it, but you're still getting all the emotions 550 00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,149 Speaker 2: and all the stress and all the herd outside your 551 00:27:25,149 --> 00:27:27,789 Speaker 2: body and stressing about whether your child will turn out okay. 552 00:27:27,869 --> 00:27:30,709 Speaker 2: And then you're layering on all these assumptions that people 553 00:27:30,709 --> 00:27:34,109 Speaker 2: have about only children, that they might be selfish, or 554 00:27:34,109 --> 00:27:36,149 Speaker 2: they might be weird, or they won't know how to 555 00:27:36,149 --> 00:27:38,589 Speaker 2: share with other people. There's so many things that people 556 00:27:38,709 --> 00:27:40,189 Speaker 2: kind of put on you. 557 00:27:40,269 --> 00:27:42,549 Speaker 4: Well, you said in your article for Muma Mia that 558 00:27:42,789 --> 00:27:44,269 Speaker 4: you get these comments from. 559 00:27:44,189 --> 00:27:46,389 Speaker 3: Yeah to your face, Yeah, yeah, definitely. 560 00:27:46,469 --> 00:27:48,629 Speaker 2: And I think just as a PSA for people who 561 00:27:48,669 --> 00:27:50,229 Speaker 2: want to say that, I know it's probably out of 562 00:27:50,349 --> 00:27:53,629 Speaker 2: genuine curiosity, but people with one kid a thinking about 563 00:27:53,669 --> 00:27:56,149 Speaker 2: it a lot like that is something that plays on 564 00:27:56,229 --> 00:27:59,269 Speaker 2: your mind A ton is are you doing the wrong thing? 565 00:27:59,669 --> 00:28:02,029 Speaker 2: But I think your reason for having a second can't 566 00:28:02,029 --> 00:28:05,109 Speaker 2: be out of service to your child. I think now 567 00:28:05,309 --> 00:28:09,309 Speaker 2: women can and all couples can be thinking about what 568 00:28:09,549 --> 00:28:11,909 Speaker 2: is best for them as a parent and what will 569 00:28:11,949 --> 00:28:14,109 Speaker 2: mean that they can give their child the best life. 570 00:28:14,149 --> 00:28:17,749 Speaker 2: Whether that's the financial reasons, whether that's for mental health reasons, 571 00:28:17,789 --> 00:28:20,909 Speaker 2: whether it's just that you don't feel the strong urge. 572 00:28:20,949 --> 00:28:23,949 Speaker 2: Any of those are enough, I think, and so we 573 00:28:24,029 --> 00:28:25,949 Speaker 2: probably can stop calling it that. 574 00:28:26,389 --> 00:28:28,749 Speaker 1: Stacy. This article that you wrote, and we will link 575 00:28:28,789 --> 00:28:31,109 Speaker 1: to it in the show notes because I want everyone 576 00:28:31,149 --> 00:28:33,229 Speaker 1: to read it. I think everyone should read it, no 577 00:28:33,269 --> 00:28:36,709 Speaker 1: matter how many kids you have. It was beautiful, it 578 00:28:36,829 --> 00:28:42,149 Speaker 1: was smart. It's important because language is everything. And what 579 00:28:42,189 --> 00:28:44,829 Speaker 1: you highlighted in that article is how many times people 580 00:28:44,869 --> 00:28:47,789 Speaker 1: will come to you and weigh in on your reproductive choices. 581 00:28:48,149 --> 00:28:50,549 Speaker 1: When are you having a second? Are you going to 582 00:28:50,549 --> 00:28:54,229 Speaker 1: give them a sibling, and it just feels so I 583 00:28:54,229 --> 00:28:58,389 Speaker 1: know it's well intentioned, but it does kind of feel 584 00:28:58,509 --> 00:29:02,909 Speaker 1: very dated to weigh in on someone else's choice of family. 585 00:29:02,989 --> 00:29:05,469 Speaker 1: It's like we don't say any more like oh, the 586 00:29:05,509 --> 00:29:07,789 Speaker 1: clock's ticking, and we don't say like, when are you 587 00:29:07,829 --> 00:29:10,989 Speaker 1: going to start a family? Because families coming shapes and sizes, 588 00:29:11,109 --> 00:29:15,309 Speaker 1: So we've mostly retired those phrases because it feels like, 589 00:29:15,509 --> 00:29:17,549 Speaker 1: you know, they were never okay in the first place. 590 00:29:17,989 --> 00:29:21,149 Speaker 1: I do feel like the questions around are you having another? 591 00:29:21,189 --> 00:29:23,109 Speaker 1: When are you having another one? Are you going to 592 00:29:23,109 --> 00:29:25,949 Speaker 1: give them a sister a brother? They need to be retired, 593 00:29:26,029 --> 00:29:27,309 Speaker 1: they should be in the same bucket. 594 00:29:27,429 --> 00:29:30,229 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. And I think, like I would consider myself 595 00:29:30,269 --> 00:29:32,909 Speaker 2: a pretty agreeable person. I know Amelia said yesterday she 596 00:29:32,949 --> 00:29:35,349 Speaker 2: can't imagine me being bothered by anything, like I think 597 00:29:35,389 --> 00:29:38,349 Speaker 2: I come across as there was one thing that bothered you, 598 00:29:38,389 --> 00:29:40,869 Speaker 2: the people say, And there is one thing that bothers me, 599 00:29:40,909 --> 00:29:43,589 Speaker 2: and it's when people say when are you having another? 600 00:29:43,749 --> 00:29:47,069 Speaker 2: Not are you thinking about having another? Because I understand 601 00:29:47,109 --> 00:29:50,869 Speaker 2: the genuine curiosity, too's the norm, So I understand people 602 00:29:50,909 --> 00:29:53,789 Speaker 2: assuming that if you've had one, you probably do want 603 00:29:53,829 --> 00:29:56,429 Speaker 2: to so I love talking about it to people, but 604 00:29:56,469 --> 00:29:59,909 Speaker 2: it's the when that really annoys me because I think 605 00:30:00,109 --> 00:30:03,109 Speaker 2: it undermines what people go through to even have a 606 00:30:03,189 --> 00:30:04,949 Speaker 2: child in the first place, and what I went through 607 00:30:04,989 --> 00:30:07,869 Speaker 2: to have my child in the first place. For many people, 608 00:30:07,869 --> 00:30:10,469 Speaker 2: it's not a choice, and having one my not be 609 00:30:10,629 --> 00:30:12,669 Speaker 2: what they want. For me, it is, but for some 610 00:30:12,709 --> 00:30:15,789 Speaker 2: people that's just how their family dynamic pans out. So 611 00:30:16,229 --> 00:30:19,429 Speaker 2: I think there's that, and it also layers the expectation 612 00:30:19,549 --> 00:30:23,269 Speaker 2: on women that were somehow selfish or prioritizing our own 613 00:30:23,309 --> 00:30:24,189 Speaker 2: lives too much. 614 00:30:24,709 --> 00:30:27,269 Speaker 1: Stacy, you just said it in your own answer. Then 615 00:30:27,389 --> 00:30:30,069 Speaker 1: you just said two is the norm, and that's the 616 00:30:30,149 --> 00:30:32,229 Speaker 1: kind of thinking that we need to stop. Yeah, that's 617 00:30:32,229 --> 00:30:35,749 Speaker 1: the retoric. That's not helpful. It's not the norm. There 618 00:30:35,869 --> 00:30:39,829 Speaker 1: is no norm. Families are all shaped, sizes, amount of people, 619 00:30:40,349 --> 00:30:41,269 Speaker 1: there is no normal. 620 00:30:41,469 --> 00:30:44,469 Speaker 4: Also, people are having fewer children. It's becoming the norm. 621 00:30:44,829 --> 00:30:47,189 Speaker 4: You quoted this in the article, but the Australian Bureau 622 00:30:47,189 --> 00:30:51,269 Speaker 4: Statistics has new numbers on this and Australian families are 623 00:30:51,269 --> 00:30:53,669 Speaker 4: going to have an average of one point six babies 624 00:30:53,749 --> 00:30:55,869 Speaker 4: over the next few years. That's down from two point three. 625 00:30:56,109 --> 00:30:58,269 Speaker 4: So this is the new norm. Yeah, it is. 626 00:30:58,349 --> 00:31:00,909 Speaker 2: And I think only just have a pr problem really, 627 00:31:01,149 --> 00:31:04,589 Speaker 2: because it all stems from research that happened in the 628 00:31:04,629 --> 00:31:08,829 Speaker 2: eighteen hundreds around that only children were a disease was 629 00:31:08,869 --> 00:31:12,109 Speaker 2: what they were called. And so I like, very selfishly 630 00:31:12,149 --> 00:31:15,109 Speaker 2: for my wanting my own reassurance, I interviewed an expert 631 00:31:15,149 --> 00:31:17,909 Speaker 2: who's done a lot of research on only children because 632 00:31:17,909 --> 00:31:21,349 Speaker 2: she has one child as well, doctor Razina McAlpine. So 633 00:31:21,429 --> 00:31:23,989 Speaker 2: she's got a master's in higher education, done so much 634 00:31:24,029 --> 00:31:27,189 Speaker 2: research in this area, and research she found showed that 635 00:31:27,269 --> 00:31:30,589 Speaker 2: only borns generally do equally as well as first borns 636 00:31:30,829 --> 00:31:34,069 Speaker 2: and children in two child families, and they surpass children 637 00:31:34,149 --> 00:31:40,709 Speaker 2: from larger families across all of the measures of academic achievement, intelligence, sociability, character, 638 00:31:40,869 --> 00:31:42,349 Speaker 2: and child parent relationship. 639 00:31:42,589 --> 00:31:43,069 Speaker 3: So all the. 640 00:31:43,069 --> 00:31:46,269 Speaker 1: Myths around they'll grow up lonely, they don't hold up. 641 00:31:46,709 --> 00:31:47,949 Speaker 3: No, they don't hold up. 642 00:31:48,029 --> 00:31:51,269 Speaker 2: They have the same outcomes as children in two child households. 643 00:31:51,669 --> 00:31:52,669 Speaker 2: Thank God for me. 644 00:31:53,469 --> 00:31:55,749 Speaker 1: Okay, to wrap up today's show, my favorite bit. We 645 00:31:55,869 --> 00:31:59,389 Speaker 1: share the things that we are loving, sick, the things 646 00:31:59,389 --> 00:32:01,309 Speaker 1: that we might text to our friends, put in the 647 00:32:01,389 --> 00:32:06,509 Speaker 1: mum group chat, whatever it is it's recommendations, Stacy, what 648 00:32:06,549 --> 00:32:08,109 Speaker 1: do you got so mine? 649 00:32:08,149 --> 00:32:08,549 Speaker 3: This week? 650 00:32:08,629 --> 00:32:10,709 Speaker 2: Is a sleep story that doesn't make me want to 651 00:32:10,749 --> 00:32:13,429 Speaker 2: fall asleep, although I have fallen asleep in my daughter's 652 00:32:13,509 --> 00:32:15,069 Speaker 2: bed a lot of times. 653 00:32:15,469 --> 00:32:17,909 Speaker 1: Hang on, that's the point. Don't you want them. 654 00:32:17,789 --> 00:32:18,469 Speaker 3: To be sleepy? 655 00:32:18,629 --> 00:32:21,069 Speaker 2: I want them to be sleepy. I don't want to 656 00:32:21,109 --> 00:32:23,189 Speaker 2: be listening to it being tortured by the sound. And 657 00:32:23,229 --> 00:32:26,429 Speaker 2: there are a few that genuinely are so painful to 658 00:32:26,429 --> 00:32:28,669 Speaker 2: listen to, even for a couple of minutes. But on 659 00:32:28,749 --> 00:32:32,869 Speaker 2: Spotify it's free. This series called Calm Kids Bedtime Stories, 660 00:32:33,109 --> 00:32:35,989 Speaker 2: and there's one called Hector's Exploding Head, which my daughter 661 00:32:36,069 --> 00:32:39,109 Speaker 2: and I really love. So it's about a kid who 662 00:32:39,149 --> 00:32:41,789 Speaker 2: forgets his mum's birthday and forgets his homework and just 663 00:32:41,869 --> 00:32:44,709 Speaker 2: generally hopeless, like all kids around that age can be 664 00:32:44,789 --> 00:32:47,309 Speaker 2: with that stuff, and then someone visits the school that 665 00:32:47,389 --> 00:32:50,309 Speaker 2: teaches them about breathing to calm themselves down and keep 666 00:32:50,349 --> 00:32:53,149 Speaker 2: their head connected to their neck basically so their head 667 00:32:53,189 --> 00:32:54,149 Speaker 2: doesn't explode. 668 00:32:54,429 --> 00:32:55,589 Speaker 3: I just love listening to it. 669 00:32:55,629 --> 00:32:57,669 Speaker 2: I've probably listened to it a hundred times and I'm 670 00:32:57,709 --> 00:33:00,189 Speaker 2: not sick of it yet. My daughter's probably half listened 671 00:33:00,189 --> 00:33:02,869 Speaker 2: to it about one hundred times because thankfully she dozes off. 672 00:33:03,109 --> 00:33:04,189 Speaker 2: So that's my recommendation. 673 00:33:04,589 --> 00:33:07,509 Speaker 1: These Hector's exploding Hector's. 674 00:33:07,029 --> 00:33:08,749 Speaker 2: Exploding head and it's just fun to say. 675 00:33:09,109 --> 00:33:09,389 Speaker 3: Well. 676 00:33:09,549 --> 00:33:13,549 Speaker 4: I wanted to talk about playdate anxiety because I know 677 00:33:13,829 --> 00:33:19,029 Speaker 4: I should be hosting playdates, but I hosted one couple 678 00:33:19,069 --> 00:33:21,509 Speaker 4: of years ago that I'm still recovering from. Thought the 679 00:33:21,589 --> 00:33:24,149 Speaker 4: kids were playing so nicely together because we didn't hear 680 00:33:24,149 --> 00:33:26,909 Speaker 4: from them, and then basically walked into the room they 681 00:33:26,909 --> 00:33:29,469 Speaker 4: were playing in and it seriously looked like the Rolling 682 00:33:29,509 --> 00:33:33,029 Speaker 4: Stones had been there for seven days having a party 683 00:33:33,149 --> 00:33:37,869 Speaker 4: because everything was everywhere, and it just really triggered my anxiety. 684 00:33:37,949 --> 00:33:40,669 Speaker 4: I can't deal with stress or mess, particularly living in 685 00:33:40,669 --> 00:33:43,309 Speaker 4: a two bedroom apartment. It really gets to me. 686 00:33:43,669 --> 00:33:45,029 Speaker 1: Isn't that the fun of the play date? 687 00:33:45,189 --> 00:33:46,789 Speaker 4: No, it's not the fun of the play date. Months 688 00:33:46,829 --> 00:33:49,829 Speaker 4: I can tell that we're different people. So I needed 689 00:33:49,869 --> 00:33:53,189 Speaker 4: to find something to have the children do that did 690 00:33:53,269 --> 00:33:56,789 Speaker 4: not result in mess. And I went to a playdate 691 00:33:56,829 --> 00:33:59,189 Speaker 4: at someone else's place on the weekend and she had 692 00:33:59,189 --> 00:34:01,869 Speaker 4: the most brilliant idea which I'm going to steal, which 693 00:34:01,909 --> 00:34:06,069 Speaker 4: is that the girls decorated water bottles together. And I 694 00:34:06,109 --> 00:34:08,989 Speaker 4: love this because it's not just like more useless plastic. 695 00:34:09,109 --> 00:34:12,109 Speaker 4: It's actually something they need. As we know, water bottles 696 00:34:12,149 --> 00:34:15,109 Speaker 4: disappear to the great water bottle black hole in the 697 00:34:15,109 --> 00:34:18,029 Speaker 4: sky and you don't know why or where with the 698 00:34:18,069 --> 00:34:21,469 Speaker 4: socks with the one sock, not both socks, just one sock. 699 00:34:21,989 --> 00:34:24,389 Speaker 4: And so now she has a water bottle that she's 700 00:34:24,469 --> 00:34:27,229 Speaker 4: very proud of. The girls spent a good hour decorating 701 00:34:27,269 --> 00:34:29,469 Speaker 4: the water bottles together, and I just thought it was 702 00:34:29,509 --> 00:34:33,189 Speaker 4: a brilliant, very tidy activity. 703 00:34:32,709 --> 00:34:33,389 Speaker 3: For a playdate. 704 00:34:33,429 --> 00:34:36,509 Speaker 4: And I will unpack my neuroses about mess at a 705 00:34:36,589 --> 00:34:40,149 Speaker 4: later time, perhaps not on a podcast. Anyway, these water bottles, 706 00:34:40,229 --> 00:34:41,709 Speaker 4: you can get the kits that came up. 707 00:34:41,789 --> 00:34:43,069 Speaker 3: They're about thirty dollars each. 708 00:34:43,269 --> 00:34:46,469 Speaker 4: And I'm going to try that out myself next time 709 00:34:46,509 --> 00:34:48,949 Speaker 4: I host a playdate. Next time I summon the courage 710 00:34:48,989 --> 00:34:49,829 Speaker 4: to host a playdate. 711 00:34:50,029 --> 00:34:51,989 Speaker 1: Okay, So it wasn't like build your own like the 712 00:34:52,029 --> 00:34:54,429 Speaker 1: mom didn't gather all the separate bits and do it. 713 00:34:54,429 --> 00:34:55,629 Speaker 1: It's already done for us. 714 00:34:55,909 --> 00:34:58,309 Speaker 4: Oh gosh, no, no, Yeah, it was a kit with 715 00:34:58,429 --> 00:35:01,669 Speaker 4: stickers and wittery things, and yeah it was great. 716 00:35:02,029 --> 00:35:05,229 Speaker 1: Okay, Tam, I have the ultimate test of grit for 717 00:35:05,269 --> 00:35:07,069 Speaker 1: your kids. You know, we're always looking of ways to 718 00:35:07,229 --> 00:35:10,909 Speaker 1: increase resilience in our children. I've got a screen endurance 719 00:35:10,989 --> 00:35:12,669 Speaker 1: test that's going to break them. 720 00:35:13,349 --> 00:35:15,349 Speaker 3: As happened sounds fine. 721 00:35:16,069 --> 00:35:18,749 Speaker 1: You sit down to watch a movie with them. You 722 00:35:18,789 --> 00:35:25,789 Speaker 1: select Disney, then choose Mary Poppins. Say nothing and what 723 00:35:25,909 --> 00:35:30,789 Speaker 1: will happen next? Will determine your kid's level of resilience 724 00:35:31,269 --> 00:35:37,429 Speaker 1: because the intro Mary Poppins is glacially slow. There's three 725 00:35:37,509 --> 00:35:40,949 Speaker 1: minutes and six seconds before anything happens on the screen. 726 00:35:41,269 --> 00:35:44,869 Speaker 1: It's just text and very slow Edwardian sort of music. 727 00:35:45,429 --> 00:35:48,909 Speaker 1: I aged thirty years before Mary flies out of the 728 00:35:48,949 --> 00:35:52,069 Speaker 1: fucking sky. I swear to god, it's so sore. My 729 00:35:52,229 --> 00:35:55,749 Speaker 1: kids could not handle it, and I was loving it. 730 00:35:56,229 --> 00:35:59,189 Speaker 1: I just said nothing, and they were like, Mom, Mom, 731 00:35:59,309 --> 00:36:02,189 Speaker 1: they're working themselves into the biggest lather. Why is nothing happening? 732 00:36:02,389 --> 00:36:04,589 Speaker 1: What are these words on the screen. I loved it 733 00:36:04,629 --> 00:36:07,669 Speaker 1: for them. I think it's the ultimate endurance test for 734 00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:10,669 Speaker 1: the screen generation. I highly recommend it. 735 00:36:10,869 --> 00:36:13,429 Speaker 4: That is deranged, and I love it. I want to 736 00:36:13,469 --> 00:36:16,589 Speaker 4: add a further deranged recommendation for that movie, which is 737 00:36:16,669 --> 00:36:21,989 Speaker 4: I find the lead actor very attractive I enjoyed watching it. 738 00:36:22,109 --> 00:36:28,469 Speaker 4: He's very attractive, Dick vany nine, and he's dancing and 739 00:36:28,509 --> 00:36:31,229 Speaker 4: he's still living a great life. And I just love 740 00:36:31,309 --> 00:36:32,189 Speaker 4: Dick Van Dyke. 741 00:36:32,789 --> 00:36:35,629 Speaker 1: No is he the one to start with the harmonica 742 00:36:35,949 --> 00:36:38,749 Speaker 1: and no. 743 00:36:38,149 --> 00:36:39,309 Speaker 3: Chimney sweet mods. 744 00:36:39,389 --> 00:36:41,949 Speaker 4: I guess I'm purple heart for Dick Van Do Yeah, I. 745 00:36:41,949 --> 00:36:42,509 Speaker 3: Think you are. 746 00:36:42,829 --> 00:36:45,189 Speaker 1: I think what's refreshing about Dick Van Dyke is his 747 00:36:45,349 --> 00:36:47,869 Speaker 1: bad teeth. Like how you never see bad teeth on 748 00:36:47,909 --> 00:36:50,189 Speaker 1: screens anymore? And I saw his teeth and I was like, oh, 749 00:36:50,229 --> 00:36:51,629 Speaker 1: that's so nice that someone doesn't have. 750 00:36:52,229 --> 00:36:54,909 Speaker 4: That is so cruel and such a backhanded compliment to 751 00:36:54,949 --> 00:36:55,789 Speaker 4: a screen legend. 752 00:36:56,349 --> 00:37:01,029 Speaker 1: I'm not into him. I am into mister Banks. How 753 00:37:01,029 --> 00:37:03,469 Speaker 1: he walks in at the start, He's like, my home 754 00:37:03,909 --> 00:37:07,229 Speaker 1: is run like a thing. Like he's just so like 755 00:37:07,549 --> 00:37:09,949 Speaker 1: precise about everything. I love that for him. 756 00:37:10,109 --> 00:37:13,589 Speaker 2: So what we're saying, basically, there's like two male fox 757 00:37:13,709 --> 00:37:16,469 Speaker 2: leads to choose between the moms. 758 00:37:16,069 --> 00:37:19,349 Speaker 3: Pick your poison and tort to your kids. It sounds great. 759 00:37:22,029 --> 00:37:23,949 Speaker 1: All right, that's all we have time for on Parenting 760 00:37:23,989 --> 00:37:26,269 Speaker 1: Out Loud today. Thanks for hanging out, hey. I want 761 00:37:26,269 --> 00:37:28,429 Speaker 1: to shout out to the out louders who said we 762 00:37:28,509 --> 00:37:30,829 Speaker 1: should make this show a real thing, like you're the 763 00:37:30,869 --> 00:37:33,189 Speaker 1: reason where you're doing this, so thank you for getting 764 00:37:33,189 --> 00:37:37,069 Speaker 1: around it. Mainly Amelia. It's people want you Amelia, so 765 00:37:37,509 --> 00:37:38,589 Speaker 1: Stacey and I. 766 00:37:38,269 --> 00:37:42,709 Speaker 4: I'm choosing don't ever use the brain emoji when talking 767 00:37:42,749 --> 00:37:43,189 Speaker 4: about me. 768 00:37:43,269 --> 00:37:43,589 Speaker 3: Okay. 769 00:37:44,949 --> 00:37:48,869 Speaker 1: Special mentions to Sally who said parenting podcasts of boring, 770 00:37:49,069 --> 00:37:50,149 Speaker 1: except this one's great. 771 00:37:50,349 --> 00:37:51,229 Speaker 3: We love you, Sally. 772 00:37:51,589 --> 00:37:55,389 Speaker 1: Sophie said anything with Amelia, I'm tuning in. There's a 773 00:37:55,429 --> 00:37:59,589 Speaker 1: lot of that, Sophie, I'm offended. No, I know, we're 774 00:37:59,629 --> 00:38:03,189 Speaker 1: just the hangers on. And Myth who said I don't 775 00:38:03,189 --> 00:38:06,149 Speaker 1: even have kids and I never miss an episode put 776 00:38:06,269 --> 00:38:08,389 Speaker 1: that on the billboard and then she put a purple 777 00:38:08,389 --> 00:38:15,109 Speaker 1: heart emoji. Hey, Myth, we're horning for you too if 778 00:38:15,109 --> 00:38:17,349 Speaker 1: you loved this episode. The best way to help us 779 00:38:17,389 --> 00:38:20,349 Speaker 1: in these really early days is just to do one thing. 780 00:38:20,829 --> 00:38:23,829 Speaker 1: It's search for Parenting out Loud in your podcast app, 781 00:38:23,989 --> 00:38:27,269 Speaker 1: find the show, and then hit follow. So it's free 782 00:38:27,309 --> 00:38:30,029 Speaker 1: to do it. But it's like the Instagram algorithm, kind 783 00:38:30,069 --> 00:38:33,909 Speaker 1: of equivalent of a love heart, where if you do it, 784 00:38:33,909 --> 00:38:36,829 Speaker 1: it pushes the show in the algorithm. Like the algorithm 785 00:38:36,869 --> 00:38:39,029 Speaker 1: goes oh, like shit, there's all these people that are 786 00:38:39,029 --> 00:38:41,669 Speaker 1: liking this one, so it surfaces it to more people, 787 00:38:41,749 --> 00:38:43,069 Speaker 1: so more people see it and they're like. 788 00:38:43,029 --> 00:38:43,589 Speaker 4: Oh, what's this. 789 00:38:44,069 --> 00:38:46,469 Speaker 1: Oh merely a Lester, Yes please, Dick. 790 00:38:46,389 --> 00:38:48,749 Speaker 4: Town Dyke discussion, so topical. 791 00:38:50,789 --> 00:38:53,549 Speaker 1: But if all that sounds too hard, that's fine, no pressure. 792 00:38:53,869 --> 00:38:56,789 Speaker 1: Just come back next Saturday and hang out again. It's 793 00:38:56,829 --> 00:38:59,029 Speaker 1: been great, so have a great week and we'll talk 794 00:38:59,029 --> 00:39:01,549 Speaker 1: to you that Bye.