WEBVTT - EXTRA: Grace Lam Has An Idiot Allergy 0:00:08.234 --> 0:00:16.234 You're listening to Amma mea podcast. Hello, it's Holly Wayne 0:00:16.274 --> 0:00:19.393 right here now. If you love Grace Lamb, and look 0:00:19.474 --> 0:00:22.354 you do, because who doesn't. She is completely chaotic and 0:00:22.434 --> 0:00:24.794 unhinged in the best way. I want to bring you 0:00:24.834 --> 0:00:28.154 something I think you'll like. Grace Lamb burst into our 0:00:28.194 --> 0:00:30.674 lives in the interview that I did with her for 0:00:30.714 --> 0:00:33.954 a show called mid Yes, I'm taking credit for introducing 0:00:33.994 --> 0:00:36.913 you all to Grace Lamb. I got her to come 0:00:36.914 --> 0:00:39.194 and talk to me about menopause, and she was sharp 0:00:39.273 --> 0:00:43.874 and sweary and rogue and completely no bullshit, just very 0:00:43.913 --> 0:00:46.714 Grace Lamb. You might know her as a former Vogue 0:00:46.793 --> 0:00:49.233 editor who lived in the world of high fashion, but 0:00:49.354 --> 0:00:52.594 what you might not know is that Grace's hormones completely 0:00:52.674 --> 0:00:55.794 upended her world and she became a loud and vital 0:00:55.914 --> 0:00:59.953 voice for women being messed around with in perimenopause, calling 0:00:59.954 --> 0:01:03.273 for the changes women need from our doctors, workplaces, and 0:01:03.314 --> 0:01:08.114 government institutions. She is funny, furious, honest, and very sweary 0:01:08.114 --> 0:01:11.634 in this conversation, so obviously she's exactly where she needs 0:01:11.634 --> 0:01:18.794 to be. Here is my conversation with Grace Loud for me, 0:01:19.394 --> 0:01:22.994 sobbing in a tent was the first sign not unreasonable. 0:01:23.034 --> 0:01:26.673 Of course, camping is bullshit. But the day I found 0:01:26.714 --> 0:01:30.434 myself crying, flinging things around a polyester palace so sleep 0:01:30.474 --> 0:01:33.834 deprived I could barely stand, I began to wonder if 0:01:33.954 --> 0:01:38.794 maybe this wasn't me me it was me on Perry? 0:01:39.834 --> 0:01:42.954 Was that why I was suddenly so anxious, so short 0:01:42.994 --> 0:01:46.634 of breath and spinny of brain. Were hormones to blame 0:01:46.674 --> 0:01:50.594 for those sparkly auras and ask kicking headaches? Why couldn't 0:01:50.594 --> 0:01:57.394 I remember the word for for my grain anymore? I 0:01:57.434 --> 0:02:00.434 think you know the answer. In fact, I know you do, 0:02:01.034 --> 0:02:04.434 because when I asked you, my mid friends, what your 0:02:04.474 --> 0:02:07.954 hormone will tell was the most surprising and weird thing 0:02:07.994 --> 0:02:10.273 that began to happen to you when you landed here 0:02:10.314 --> 0:02:14.314 in the decade of menopausal change. You told me. Oh, 0:02:14.434 --> 0:02:17.154 you told me. You told me so much and so 0:02:17.314 --> 0:02:20.354 well that I've written you a poem, a sonnet, maybe 0:02:20.554 --> 0:02:23.954 a song, perhaps a love note at the very least 0:02:24.234 --> 0:02:27.953 to all my mid sisters. I see you, you see 0:02:27.994 --> 0:02:31.074 each other. Maybe we should call it the Ballad of 0:02:31.154 --> 0:02:34.434 Perry and Mennow, the least amusing characters in the Ladies 0:02:34.514 --> 0:02:38.754 Pixar cartoon about a woman's hormonal life. Let's start with 0:02:39.434 --> 0:02:43.474 hair loss, a banging heart and throwing it back to acne, vertigo, 0:02:43.594 --> 0:02:47.994 itchy ears and saw hips, welcoming in a flare of ibs, 0:02:48.034 --> 0:02:52.114 and a couple of panic attacks, crawling skin, tasting metal 0:02:52.194 --> 0:02:56.394 and frozen shoulder. And did we mention the never ever sleeping, 0:02:56.994 --> 0:03:02.274 A sudden onset, idiot allergy, saw feet and no libido, fury, 0:03:02.554 --> 0:03:06.914 roseatia and self loathing, forgetfulness, oceans of tears and leaky 0:03:07.194 --> 0:03:10.674 we dry eyes, a scratchy head, and an absence of 0:03:10.714 --> 0:03:14.074 shits to give. And then there are the clots and 0:03:14.114 --> 0:03:19.114 the flooding and angry vagina rage, a missing waste and 0:03:19.194 --> 0:03:22.274 waking in a puddle, crumbly teeth and self doubt and 0:03:22.314 --> 0:03:26.074 a permanent hangover, restless legs, a shrivellly vadge and ginger 0:03:26.194 --> 0:03:31.714 vitis tinatus and a beard. Oh sorry, we forgot again 0:03:31.914 --> 0:03:36.754 to mention the anxiety, the sudden pounding life halting panic. 0:03:37.394 --> 0:03:40.954 Oh we did, that must be the brain fog. Welcome 0:03:40.994 --> 0:03:44.594 mids to my tent and yours. We're all in this together, 0:03:44.954 --> 0:03:47.514 just not at the same time. That would be a 0:03:47.634 --> 0:03:53.194 sight to see. Hello, I am Holly Wainwright, and I 0:03:53.234 --> 0:03:56.594 am mid, mid life, mid family, mid search for my 0:03:56.634 --> 0:04:01.354 hormone patches. When we invented Mid, some people, former guest 0:04:01.434 --> 0:04:04.674 Kyli Gillies amongst them, perhaps said to me, it's not 0:04:04.834 --> 0:04:08.274 just going to be a show about hot flushes. Well, no, 0:04:08.554 --> 0:04:11.874 it's not. Well it wasn't until that intro that I 0:04:12.074 --> 0:04:14.874 just wrote for you. Maybe it was a little much, 0:04:14.914 --> 0:04:18.113 but you're a hard bunch to shock. Thank you to 0:04:18.234 --> 0:04:21.193 all the mids who sent me their most surprising hormonal 0:04:21.234 --> 0:04:24.674 symptoms that we turned into that intro. We made it 0:04:24.753 --> 0:04:27.634 as far as episode eighteen to the show for gen 0:04:27.794 --> 0:04:30.233 X women who are anything but and we haven't even 0:04:30.313 --> 0:04:33.113 tackled the big m yet or you know, the big 0:04:33.234 --> 0:04:37.833 pe menopause, Perry, menopause, the change, you know, all that 0:04:37.953 --> 0:04:40.193 stuff that we're not meant to talk about. All that 0:04:40.313 --> 0:04:44.553 stuff that's a bit you know, embarrassing, awkward, old, and 0:04:44.633 --> 0:04:47.993 yet suddenly women are talking about it. It's as if 0:04:48.113 --> 0:04:50.914 when the rebellious women of gen X lost our estrogen, 0:04:51.034 --> 0:04:54.674 we found our voices looking around and going, hold up, 0:04:54.834 --> 0:04:57.914 we're just supposed to put up with all this. If 0:04:57.953 --> 0:05:00.474 it's true that the generation above are rolling their eyes 0:05:00.513 --> 0:05:03.354 about us because they rode the hormone roller coaster with 0:05:03.513 --> 0:05:06.753 rolled up sleeves and gritted teeth. You know, we're sorry, 0:05:06.794 --> 0:05:09.633 not so sorry about that. This is a show about 0:05:09.633 --> 0:05:12.474 grown up women, and we could do many, many episodes 0:05:12.513 --> 0:05:15.234 about hormones and perry and menopause, and you know what, 0:05:15.393 --> 0:05:19.794 we probably will. But here is our first. And if 0:05:19.794 --> 0:05:22.753 you haven't met Grace Lam yet, you're going to be 0:05:22.873 --> 0:05:26.273 very glad you did. Grace once gave Kate Moss a 0:05:26.274 --> 0:05:29.034 pair of her own knickers to wear on a fashion shoot. Yes, 0:05:29.154 --> 0:05:31.993 you heard that right. For more than twenty five years, 0:05:32.034 --> 0:05:35.714 Grace lived and breathed the rarefied air of high fashion, 0:05:36.073 --> 0:05:39.633 working for and with everyone from yes, Kate Moss and 0:05:39.714 --> 0:05:43.474 all of the supermodels to Edward Ennenfall, who's an OBI. 0:05:43.914 --> 0:05:46.113 She's worked all over the world and was part of 0:05:46.154 --> 0:05:49.113 the launch team of Vogue China, staying in Asia then 0:05:49.193 --> 0:05:52.073 for twelve years before coming to settle in Perth with 0:05:52.154 --> 0:05:55.393 her husband and her son and to build a new business, 0:05:55.433 --> 0:05:59.354 which is bespoke like styling and shopping service with an 0:05:59.354 --> 0:06:03.993 emphasis on mid women. Everything was going according to plan 0:06:04.234 --> 0:06:09.193 for the talented, organized, focused Grace until hormones entirely upended 0:06:09.234 --> 0:06:14.354 her tidy world. She's going to tell you about exactly 0:06:14.393 --> 0:06:17.433 what that felt like. Fast forward a few years, and 0:06:17.474 --> 0:06:20.153 Grace has become a loud and important voice for women 0:06:20.193 --> 0:06:23.073 being messed with by their hormones. She's bought her voice 0:06:23.154 --> 0:06:25.674 all the way to the halls of government. She's recently 0:06:25.714 --> 0:06:28.953 just appeared, for example, before the Western Australian Senate public 0:06:28.993 --> 0:06:32.794 hearing on issues about perry and menopause, telling government what 0:06:32.834 --> 0:06:36.514 we actually need to change systemically in our medical institutions 0:06:36.594 --> 0:06:39.713 to catch up with what we all need. Grace is 0:06:39.794 --> 0:06:43.593 sharp and funny and honest and nobleshit like you. I 0:06:43.674 --> 0:06:46.474 think you're going to like her. Oh and she's sweary, 0:06:46.834 --> 0:06:50.674 so yes, you're definitely going to like her. I want 0:06:50.714 --> 0:06:53.914 to start with how you saw yourself and your life 0:06:53.953 --> 0:06:56.513 before perimenopause. So I want you to paint me a 0:06:56.553 --> 0:07:00.034 picture of Grace's pre aged forty eight. 0:07:00.633 --> 0:07:04.434 I wasn't even thinking about perimenopause and men First of all, 0:07:04.433 --> 0:07:07.993 I didn't know the word perimenopause existed. I've always heard 0:07:08.113 --> 0:07:11.874 only menopause. My life was as normal as you can 0:07:11.914 --> 0:07:13.714 imagine when I was living in Hong Kong. So I'm 0:07:13.714 --> 0:07:16.194 from Hong Kong originally, but I lived most of my 0:07:16.234 --> 0:07:20.153 life in London, so I'm a true Londoner Hong Kong. 0:07:20.594 --> 0:07:22.914 And life was great, you know, I've got one clube 0:07:22.953 --> 0:07:26.914 PERF just before COVID, and everything was fine, you know, 0:07:27.074 --> 0:07:29.794 and then suddenly one night it hit me like a 0:07:29.834 --> 0:07:32.593 brick and everything changed that night. 0:07:32.914 --> 0:07:36.434 You moved to Perth with your family, and you are 0:07:36.474 --> 0:07:40.153 going about your busy, hyper organized life, and then what 0:07:40.393 --> 0:07:42.994 happens when perimenopause hits you like a train. 0:07:43.074 --> 0:07:45.354 It really hit me like a train wreck. One night. 0:07:45.393 --> 0:07:48.514 I was like sleeping and then suddenly I could not 0:07:48.554 --> 0:07:50.914 see for the next four or five weeks, just out 0:07:50.953 --> 0:07:51.593 of the blue. 0:07:51.674 --> 0:07:53.674 When you say that, do you mean literally you couldn't 0:07:53.674 --> 0:07:55.314 sleep for four weeks, because I've heard you say this 0:07:55.474 --> 0:07:56.954 like insomnia for that long. 0:07:57.234 --> 0:08:00.434 Oh yeah, oh yeah. When I first came to PERF, 0:08:00.754 --> 0:08:02.714 I was so burned up just from having like this 0:08:02.794 --> 0:08:04.794 fashion life in Hong Kong and London whatever and stuff. 0:08:04.914 --> 0:08:06.554 I hadn't stopped, like I don't know how many years, 0:08:06.554 --> 0:08:09.833 at twenty years, So when I came to Perth, because 0:08:09.874 --> 0:08:11.634 PERF is so chill, I was like Okay, I'm just 0:08:11.674 --> 0:08:13.153 going to take some time off work. I'm not going 0:08:13.234 --> 0:08:15.794 to do anything. And then COVID hit was just like 0:08:15.914 --> 0:08:18.154 kind of a good timing in a way, so I 0:08:18.274 --> 0:08:21.314 wasn't stressed, and I was like, am I stressed? I'm 0:08:21.314 --> 0:08:23.474 not stressed, not working, you know, I'm just taking some 0:08:23.514 --> 0:08:25.953 time off, so I'm not stressed, So why am I 0:08:26.034 --> 0:08:27.994 not sleeping? So the first few days I thought, oh, 0:08:28.074 --> 0:08:30.794 maybe it's just something happened. Maybe I'm kind of like, 0:08:30.834 --> 0:08:34.154 you know, unconscious stress. And then when it started hitting, 0:08:34.194 --> 0:08:36.154 like the second week, the third, I was like, this, 0:08:36.154 --> 0:08:38.714 this is weird. Something's not right. And I couldn't even 0:08:38.714 --> 0:08:42.394 comprehend what was happening because I hadn't researched anything. I 0:08:42.434 --> 0:08:46.514 didn't know anything. I kind of start feeling like my 0:08:46.714 --> 0:08:50.074 brain was out of my head for most days, just 0:08:50.074 --> 0:08:52.833 couldn't put sentence together. And it's not because I've got 0:08:52.874 --> 0:08:57.034 bad English. It just felt so surreal. I felt like 0:08:57.074 --> 0:08:59.314 I was having like an out of body experience every 0:08:59.394 --> 0:09:02.754 day for the next at least four to five weeks. 0:09:03.154 --> 0:09:05.914 And because I followed the Vina mcor from UK, a 0:09:06.034 --> 0:09:09.354 very famous TV bresil and she's a huge menopause advocate, 0:09:09.834 --> 0:09:12.394 I started tapping through the whole menopause world, and then, 0:09:12.474 --> 0:09:15.034 of course, you know, she team up with Dr Nami Porter, 0:09:15.114 --> 0:09:19.394 who wrote a brilliant book Menopausing, and then I discovered 0:09:19.474 --> 0:09:23.194 Dr Louis Nusan. You know, all these amazing women that 0:09:23.354 --> 0:09:26.074 helped me through the time when I felt so lost 0:09:26.114 --> 0:09:27.874 in my life, like she s didn't know what was happening, 0:09:27.874 --> 0:09:30.394 and my mood swing was like up and down like 0:09:30.394 --> 0:09:32.754 you a roller coaster. I mean, I'm a moody bitch anyway, 0:09:32.914 --> 0:09:35.754 and I can go from zero to a thousand within 0:09:35.794 --> 0:09:40.274 a second. But I've calmed down so much more for 0:09:40.314 --> 0:09:44.234 the past five years, and I felt like something wasn't right, 0:09:44.274 --> 0:09:46.554 and I knew, you know, the kind of menopause rage 0:09:46.674 --> 0:09:49.474 is so different from your normal rage. You feel it 0:09:49.554 --> 0:09:51.714 in your bones that it's kind of like a different 0:09:51.754 --> 0:09:55.114 part of your brain that's happening. And I think the 0:09:55.274 --> 0:09:58.234 day when my husband said to me, he probably said 0:09:58.234 --> 0:10:00.274 something like, what's you want for dinner? And I just 0:10:00.394 --> 0:10:02.714 blew up and I kicked out our kid bin and 0:10:02.754 --> 0:10:05.154 I dented it and I was like, whoa. I mean, 0:10:05.194 --> 0:10:07.874 my kongfu skills is great, but not this great, you know, 0:10:08.354 --> 0:10:09.674 I just knew something was happening. 0:10:09.994 --> 0:10:12.953 It's so interesting. So it started with insomnia. Now I'm 0:10:12.954 --> 0:10:15.114 going to ask you to list some of your symptoms 0:10:15.114 --> 0:10:18.354 in a minute, because I have listened to the remarks 0:10:18.354 --> 0:10:20.594 that you gave to the Perth Senate on their menopause inquiry, 0:10:20.634 --> 0:10:23.834 and the list is long. But for the women listening, 0:10:24.714 --> 0:10:27.474 it's interesting because when these things first start happening to you, 0:10:27.474 --> 0:10:29.194 you don't know that's what it is. And then as 0:10:29.234 --> 0:10:31.234 you say that, your pennies began to drop and you 0:10:31.274 --> 0:10:33.954 began to see this information around from Divine and McCall 0:10:33.994 --> 0:10:38.114 and others. It can be hard to see the wood 0:10:38.154 --> 0:10:40.354 for the trees, right, Like you're kind of like, oh, 0:10:40.554 --> 0:10:43.154 I'm moody, Oh I'm sleepless, Oh I'm this, and that 0:10:43.954 --> 0:10:46.514 you started to keep a diary, didn't you of your symptoms? 0:10:46.994 --> 0:10:48.994 And can you tell me some of the other things 0:10:49.034 --> 0:10:51.674 apart from the sleeplessness and rage that were happening to 0:10:51.714 --> 0:10:52.554 you in this period. 0:10:53.034 --> 0:10:56.514 I had like breast tenderness, which was weird, you know, 0:10:56.714 --> 0:11:00.154 and then palputation. It wasn't severe, but I felt like 0:11:00.354 --> 0:11:02.514 sometimes my heart will miss a beat, and I was like, 0:11:02.674 --> 0:11:05.554 this is kind of weird tinators. I couldn't hear. I'm 0:11:06.274 --> 0:11:08.274 at one point, at the beginning stage, I was so 0:11:08.434 --> 0:11:11.274 sensitive to noise to a point out where, you know, 0:11:11.314 --> 0:11:13.714 if if my husband bashed pots and pans, I'd be 0:11:13.714 --> 0:11:17.674 like out, you know. And then joint pain, you know, 0:11:17.794 --> 0:11:22.114 my fingers start getting really like painful. And then I 0:11:22.274 --> 0:11:24.914 gain a lot of like belly fat and kind of 0:11:24.954 --> 0:11:27.674 crawley skin a little bit. I just felt tired. And 0:11:27.714 --> 0:11:32.394 then oh, the weirdest thing was I started feeling driving anxiety, 0:11:32.474 --> 0:11:34.714 which I know is a symptom, but I didn't know 0:11:34.714 --> 0:11:38.074 it was a symptom then. And I started being very 0:11:38.074 --> 0:11:40.514 nervous about driving. Forgot say, I'm an F one Formula 0:11:40.554 --> 0:11:43.394 one fan. Even though I drive very safely, I'm all 0:11:43.394 --> 0:11:45.514 about you know, like watching F one. I'm like, why 0:11:45.514 --> 0:11:48.434 am I scared of driving? I thought, oh, maybe because 0:11:48.594 --> 0:11:50.834 I'm kind of newish to perf I'm like, no, you 0:11:50.834 --> 0:11:53.194 know this it was so weird. It was very strange. 0:11:53.154 --> 0:11:54.874 I would get into the curt and I feel nervous 0:11:55.354 --> 0:11:57.834 not to mention that people in Perth drive like crazy, 0:11:57.994 --> 0:12:00.634 which is kind of really weird. You know, it's such 0:12:00.634 --> 0:12:03.474 a chill place where people drive like lunatics here because 0:12:03.514 --> 0:12:03.994 this was. 0:12:03.954 --> 0:12:06.034 A period of change for you anyway, right with the 0:12:06.074 --> 0:12:09.394 career change and maybe into a new country. You obviously 0:12:09.554 --> 0:12:12.074 are a very high achieving woman. You're juggling being a mom, 0:12:12.074 --> 0:12:14.554 you're juggling being a wife. Were you hard on yourself 0:12:14.794 --> 0:12:16.834 at that time before you began to get the help 0:12:16.874 --> 0:12:19.034 you needed? Was it also like a bash to your 0:12:19.034 --> 0:12:22.754 self esteem to think, why am I suddenly this messy, angry, 0:12:22.954 --> 0:12:24.314 anxious lady. 0:12:24.954 --> 0:12:28.354 No. I mean I've always been quite a confident person. 0:12:28.914 --> 0:12:31.954 I wasn't hard on myself in that sense, but I 0:12:32.034 --> 0:12:34.834 was hard on myself on my to do list every day. 0:12:35.394 --> 0:12:37.874 You know, even though I wasn't working full time, I 0:12:37.914 --> 0:12:39.594 had a lot of to do lists. You know, clean this, 0:12:39.794 --> 0:12:41.874 do that, you know, no, no, no, you know, make 0:12:42.034 --> 0:12:44.354 homemake cookies or whatever and stuff. And when I wasn't 0:12:44.434 --> 0:12:47.194 doing that, I was so pissed off at myself. I'm 0:12:47.234 --> 0:12:48.714 not good mother, I'm not this, I'm not you know. 0:12:48.714 --> 0:12:50.754 I would need to do this, do all everything right. 0:12:51.434 --> 0:12:55.474 It's not up until maybe last year I started telling 0:12:55.474 --> 0:12:59.354 myself small winds are the real winds rather than like 0:12:59.434 --> 0:13:01.674 all these like massive fucking to do lists. I mean, 0:13:01.674 --> 0:13:03.554 who's got the time. You know, when you're like a 0:13:03.594 --> 0:13:06.474 full time mom and you've got things, you get shitped done. 0:13:06.514 --> 0:13:09.554 I mean, to every day just too massive. And I 0:13:09.594 --> 0:13:12.474 started saying to myself, Okay, out of the ten things, 0:13:12.714 --> 0:13:15.874 if you do three things, you're winning. So as soon 0:13:15.914 --> 0:13:18.754 as I took that kind of mindset, it really helped 0:13:18.754 --> 0:13:21.514 me to like take it easier on myself a bit more. 0:13:22.154 --> 0:13:25.994 I'm always been quite confident women, but I think sometimes 0:13:26.034 --> 0:13:28.354 I would have self doubt to a point that I 0:13:28.394 --> 0:13:31.034 was like, that's so weird because I'm so confident. Why 0:13:31.034 --> 0:13:33.434 am I having all these feelings? And once I acknowledge it, 0:13:33.474 --> 0:13:35.394 I'm like, you know, step myself out of it. I'm like, 0:13:35.434 --> 0:13:37.154 you know what, You're not that kind of woman, you 0:13:37.194 --> 0:13:38.434 know to just step up. 0:13:38.634 --> 0:13:40.474 You feel like you're turning into someone else, don't you. 0:13:40.514 --> 0:13:43.194 It's really strange. So then once you've realized this, and 0:13:43.234 --> 0:13:47.354 as you say, you're following some amazing advocates online, you 0:13:47.434 --> 0:13:50.834 needed to get yourself some practical help, so you were 0:13:50.914 --> 0:13:53.194 very deliberate about who you wanted to seek out to help. 0:13:53.194 --> 0:13:56.354 You tell me about how you first approached getting medical help. 0:13:56.514 --> 0:13:59.634 At this point, I started a menopause group chat with 0:13:59.674 --> 0:14:02.154 two moms at my son's schools because they are going 0:14:02.154 --> 0:14:04.754 through paying menopause. The first thing I told them is 0:14:04.794 --> 0:14:07.714 to start a diary, which helps so much. I said, 0:14:07.794 --> 0:14:11.034 write every single details down, whether you have a twitch 0:14:11.074 --> 0:14:12.874 in your eye or whatever and stuff. I said, all 0:14:12.914 --> 0:14:15.994 these symptoms that you don't think is important. They make 0:14:16.034 --> 0:14:17.634 all the puzzles together when you go and see your 0:14:17.674 --> 0:14:21.074 GP or your specialists. I have a great clinic near 0:14:21.114 --> 0:14:23.394 where I live, so I normally go there for anything, right, 0:14:23.434 --> 0:14:27.234 so I deliberately chosen an Asian GP. She's a bit 0:14:27.274 --> 0:14:29.834 older than me and she's a super nice lady. I 0:14:29.834 --> 0:14:32.074 deliberately chose her because she's Asian and I know that 0:14:32.114 --> 0:14:34.354 she's going through menopause, so I thought, oh, she can 0:14:34.394 --> 0:14:36.794 relate to me. But she didn't know much. I have 0:14:36.874 --> 0:14:39.714 to tell her quite a lot because before I went, 0:14:39.834 --> 0:14:43.554 I did shitloads of homework and doctor Armie Porter has 0:14:43.554 --> 0:14:45.634 gave advice about what you need to say when you're going, 0:14:45.794 --> 0:14:48.154 you know, to your first appointment. I didn't know that 0:14:48.194 --> 0:14:50.754 I could ask for an extension appointment, so my oppoinment 0:14:50.874 --> 0:14:55.314 was like maybe maximum eight minutes. It's really short, you know. 0:14:55.474 --> 0:14:58.074 My list of questions was just far too long. I'll 0:14:58.074 --> 0:15:01.434 probably need an hour. She gave me eight minutes maximum, 0:15:01.434 --> 0:15:03.874 and then you know, gave me some sleeping pills and 0:15:03.874 --> 0:15:05.354 that was it. And I was like, I don't worry. 0:15:05.394 --> 0:15:07.434 I don't actually use the sleeping pills because I don't 0:15:07.474 --> 0:15:09.834 want to be addicted to it, even though I wasn't 0:15:09.874 --> 0:15:12.234 sleeping for like four or five weeks. But it just 0:15:12.354 --> 0:15:15.714 goes to show how little GP knows about menopause. It 0:15:15.834 --> 0:15:18.154 baffles me because you know, half the population is. 0:15:18.114 --> 0:15:20.674 A woman exactly. And also, as you said, you were 0:15:20.794 --> 0:15:23.714 very deliberate in seeking out a GP who you thought 0:15:23.834 --> 0:15:26.874 would know what you were talking about. But women like you, 0:15:26.914 --> 0:15:29.914 who are arming yourself with the information, we're finding ourselves 0:15:29.994 --> 0:15:32.154 sometimes going into the doctor's sidery and having to be 0:15:32.234 --> 0:15:35.794 well if like doing like we're the ones giving the information. 0:15:35.914 --> 0:15:38.194 It's crazy. Before we move on, didn't you say in 0:15:38.234 --> 0:15:41.634 your senate presentation notes that she told you sleeping pills 0:15:41.874 --> 0:15:44.594 and don't take HRT because it gives you cancer. Did 0:15:44.674 --> 0:15:45.354 she say that? 0:15:45.554 --> 0:15:47.914 Oh? Yeah she did. And then first of all, I 0:15:47.954 --> 0:15:49.994 asked hers, so do I need a charity? She go, oh, no, no, 0:15:49.914 --> 0:15:52.194 because you don't have hot flashes. So to her, if 0:15:52.194 --> 0:15:54.874 you don't have hot flashes, you don't need charity, which 0:15:54.874 --> 0:15:58.114 is so stupid as a stupid comment to make, because 0:15:58.154 --> 0:16:00.674 obviously from that moment I knew her, she knew nothing, 0:16:01.074 --> 0:16:03.234 so I was like, what the hell you know? I 0:16:03.274 --> 0:16:04.834 wasn't mean to her because she's you know, it's not 0:16:04.834 --> 0:16:07.434 her fault, but I was like, you, actually, you don't 0:16:07.474 --> 0:16:10.914 know a lot and it's kind of quite disheartening for 0:16:10.994 --> 0:16:13.074 me to come to you and you don't know much 0:16:13.114 --> 0:16:14.554 and you just gave me sleeping because this is not 0:16:14.594 --> 0:16:16.514 the way forward. How are we going to deal with this? 0:16:16.594 --> 0:16:18.314 And she said, just come back in two weeks after 0:16:18.314 --> 0:16:20.114 you've taken the sleeping pills. I was like, oh, you know, 0:16:20.434 --> 0:16:22.794 Fuck's sake, you know. And that's when I knew that 0:16:23.394 --> 0:16:25.954 if you find a GP that knows her shit or 0:16:25.994 --> 0:16:29.514 his shit about menopause, it's kind of like you wonder lottery. 0:16:30.074 --> 0:16:34.514 But then different friends told me about menopause specialists, so 0:16:34.554 --> 0:16:36.754 I actually went to see, you know, my first doctor, 0:16:36.794 --> 0:16:39.034 and I've got two doctors now I've changed. I'm entering 0:16:39.114 --> 0:16:41.914 my second next face of my perimenopause journey, so I've 0:16:41.994 --> 0:16:47.034 changed doctor. So going to a specialist changed my life, 0:16:47.314 --> 0:16:48.954 but it costs so much money. 0:16:49.114 --> 0:16:51.514 Yeah, right, So you walk out of your GP. And 0:16:51.554 --> 0:16:53.314 this is a lot of the women listening will have 0:16:53.354 --> 0:16:55.754 had experiences like this. Like when I talk to women 0:16:56.114 --> 0:16:58.514 who are not maybe as plugged into all this menopause 0:16:58.554 --> 0:17:01.594 information as you became, and I am, obviously through my 0:17:01.634 --> 0:17:04.074 work and things, they'll say, oh, well, I'm not a 0:17:04.074 --> 0:17:07.394 candidate for HRT because XYZ or they do still have 0:17:07.434 --> 0:17:11.113 that lingering cancer myth bubbling around in their head. So 0:17:11.194 --> 0:17:13.674 they'll walk out of the GP just feeling disheartened and 0:17:13.714 --> 0:17:17.514 lost at that point and probably just be suffering through 0:17:17.554 --> 0:17:20.714 what comes next. Your advice to those women would be 0:17:20.954 --> 0:17:25.434 to find menopause specialists in their area and then what happens. 0:17:25.714 --> 0:17:29.114 I think for those who can't take HRT, there are 0:17:29.154 --> 0:17:32.754 so many ways you can help yourself. Change of diet, 0:17:32.874 --> 0:17:36.634 your lifestyle is number one. I mean, through this whole journey, 0:17:36.674 --> 0:17:41.274 I've learned so much about nutrition, food, diet, exercise, which 0:17:41.474 --> 0:17:43.834 I was never about before. You know, I think when 0:17:43.874 --> 0:17:46.714 I had my son eleven years ago, I became more 0:17:46.754 --> 0:17:49.354 health conscious, but not to this level. So the past 0:17:49.394 --> 0:17:52.154 two years I've actually learned so much from all these people. 0:17:52.194 --> 0:17:54.114 I mean, if anyone needs help, just dm me on 0:17:54.154 --> 0:17:56.554 my Instagram and I will help you. It just got 0:17:56.594 --> 0:17:59.394 to a point that so many women have messaged me 0:17:59.754 --> 0:18:01.874 and said, oh, I can't find a GP to it. 0:18:01.914 --> 0:18:04.674 I've helped people up in Melbourne or Sydney with GPS 0:18:04.674 --> 0:18:07.394 that I know. It's kind of crazy. It's almost if 0:18:07.434 --> 0:18:09.914 you don't know where to start, you're so lost and 0:18:09.914 --> 0:18:13.074 you're going through all these symptoms. Then your mom or 0:18:13.074 --> 0:18:15.073 your grandmother was like, oh, don't worry, it's such soldier 0:18:15.114 --> 0:18:17.674 on like I did, and that I do not encourage 0:18:17.674 --> 0:18:20.834 soldiering on. And I almost wish that women would just 0:18:20.954 --> 0:18:24.834 help themselves by giving yourself more options. You know, there's 0:18:24.874 --> 0:18:27.074 so much misinformation out there. You also have to be 0:18:27.194 --> 0:18:31.154 very careful what to read and who to follow to 0:18:31.194 --> 0:18:33.794 get legit, you know, data. And I wish people could 0:18:33.914 --> 0:18:37.353 stop reading that stupid fucking report from two thousand and 0:18:37.354 --> 0:18:41.234 two Women's Health Initiatives. Stop reading that fucking report is 0:18:41.314 --> 0:18:44.394 so old and they were touching woman over sixties anyway, 0:18:44.434 --> 0:18:46.793 who are too late in a way for HRT and 0:18:46.834 --> 0:18:49.954 it was all or HRT, So can we just stop 0:18:50.434 --> 0:18:53.634 using that your standard of judging HRT. You know, we've 0:18:53.674 --> 0:18:56.714 got such modern medication now, it's completely different. 0:18:57.114 --> 0:18:59.994 It's been so discredited. So when you did find your 0:19:00.034 --> 0:19:04.033 menopause specialist, what's different about that appointment? Like when you 0:19:04.114 --> 0:19:06.434 go in there, what were you beginning to hear there 0:19:06.434 --> 0:19:08.154 that act started to help you? 0:19:08.594 --> 0:19:11.754 That she didn't deny it was perimenopause. My first GP 0:19:11.794 --> 0:19:13.954 who didn't know anything. She didn't deny it, but she 0:19:13.954 --> 0:19:17.954 couldn't give you more information. Whereas my menopause specialists, the 0:19:17.994 --> 0:19:23.314 first doctor, doctor Lucy Karate, she didn't deny it. We discussed, 0:19:23.354 --> 0:19:26.793 we had a one hour consultation, you know, it was great, 0:19:27.074 --> 0:19:30.514 and then all my questions were answered. And then together 0:19:30.754 --> 0:19:34.234 we planned the whole you know, charity road where we're 0:19:34.234 --> 0:19:35.594 going to start, what we're going to do, how we're 0:19:35.594 --> 0:19:37.674 going to change it, in it, all of that. And 0:19:37.714 --> 0:19:40.954 then now with you know, my new doctor, doctor Sunita 0:19:40.954 --> 0:19:44.074 from here at clinic, same thing. You know, they're just 0:19:44.154 --> 0:19:46.714 a lot more thoughtful and they know their shit. They 0:19:46.874 --> 0:19:50.154 know you know everything that will help you. You know, 0:19:50.194 --> 0:19:52.994 they all have different ways. You know, doctor Sonita now 0:19:53.074 --> 0:19:55.754 is very she's super practical, which I love. And also 0:19:55.794 --> 0:19:59.034 through this journey I realized that there's so many companies 0:19:59.074 --> 0:20:02.634 out there just using a menopause topic to capitalize on 0:20:02.954 --> 0:20:05.234 menopause a woman because they just feel like, you know what, 0:20:05.314 --> 0:20:07.674 I can sell shit to these women and they will anything. 0:20:08.154 --> 0:20:10.594 And I just want to say that I don't really 0:20:10.594 --> 0:20:16.034 believe in supplements unless through your blood test you shown deficiency, 0:20:16.234 --> 0:20:18.594 you know, in a certain element, like for example, I 0:20:18.634 --> 0:20:21.674 am deficient of vitamin D at a moment, so I 0:20:21.714 --> 0:20:26.434 am taking supplements. But in general I wouldn't advise anyone 0:20:26.634 --> 0:20:29.234 just to go and buy all these side you know, 0:20:29.914 --> 0:20:30.954 just don't waste your money. 0:20:31.074 --> 0:20:33.474 That is music to my ears, grace, because I did 0:20:33.554 --> 0:20:35.714 that over the last two years. I've had my own 0:20:35.994 --> 0:20:39.793 journey with perimenopause and menopause, and I was the person 0:20:39.914 --> 0:20:43.394