WEBVTT - Love Me Two Times

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Mea acknowledges

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<v Speaker 1>the traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast

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<v Speaker 1>is recorded on we all know what they say. If

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<v Speaker 1>there are question marks or gut feelings early on need

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<v Speaker 1>a relationship, it's probably because it's not the right one.

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<v Speaker 1>Your match should be someone with whom you have no doubts.

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<v Speaker 1>It should be easy.

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<v Speaker 2>We were just such a strong couple. We were very loud,

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<v Speaker 2>extroverted couple. We had all the same things in common.

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<v Speaker 2>I did have so many of my friends say to me,

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<v Speaker 2>this is in game.

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<v Speaker 1>But sometimes even the best, strongest and happiest relationships can

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<v Speaker 1>carry secrets, some small and insignificant in the scheme of things,

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<v Speaker 1>but others, no matter how hard they've been hidden, once

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<v Speaker 1>out can destroy everything.

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<v Speaker 2>I like sort of walked over to them and I

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<v Speaker 2>was liked, And she came up and gave me a

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<v Speaker 2>hugin I was like, what's going on? I like, saw

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<v Speaker 2>my gray mattress in the back of the car. I

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<v Speaker 2>went all fat and blimp.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ads.

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of the very people who lived them. Molly was

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen when our story begins, living in New Zealand, a

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<v Speaker 1>year out of school. Where else would you meet a

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<v Speaker 1>guy but a music festival.

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<v Speaker 2>We sort of met on the day on the dance floor,

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<v Speaker 2>didn't really think much of it. And then I went

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<v Speaker 2>to some afters following the event and got a random

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<v Speaker 2>text message on my phone and he had got my

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<v Speaker 2>number off of a friend and.

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<v Speaker 3>He was like, what are you doing? Do you want

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<v Speaker 3>to hang out?

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<v Speaker 2>And I was like, no, I don't really want to

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<v Speaker 2>hang out with you. I've only just met you. But

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<v Speaker 2>he was obviously a friend of a friend that he

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<v Speaker 2>was really nice, and so I was like, okay, fine,

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<v Speaker 2>and I know you're not supposed to do this, but

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, you can come around to where I

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<v Speaker 2>was living. I was living with six girls, so I

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<v Speaker 2>felt pretty safe and yeah, I was, I think watching

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<v Speaker 2>Love Island and he just came round and sat on

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<v Speaker 2>the couch with us girls and then I said to him,

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<v Speaker 2>nothing is happening tonight, just so you know. When he

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<v Speaker 2>was so fine with that. I was nineteen and he

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<v Speaker 2>was twenty two at the time. I was at university

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<v Speaker 2>in New Zealand.

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<v Speaker 3>And yeah, I had.

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<v Speaker 2>Been in a relationship a year previous for a while,

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<v Speaker 2>since I was quite young. I was in a good place,

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<v Speaker 2>just really happy, enjoying my life, enjoying the freedom of

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<v Speaker 2>university and going to lots of parties.

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<v Speaker 3>And he was working in the city, so he had.

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<v Speaker 2>Gone to the same university as me, but he had

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<v Speaker 2>actually graduated a couple of years earlier, and he was

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<v Speaker 2>in his first year of working. When I initially met

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<v Speaker 2>him at the fistal, I didn't quite realize until he

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<v Speaker 2>came over just how good looking he was. He was

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<v Speaker 2>very nice on the eyes, and yeah, we had a

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<v Speaker 2>lot in common. I am really into surfing and so

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<v Speaker 2>is he. So we sort of talked about that and

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<v Speaker 2>started off pretty strong, just on common grounds, and yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it was one of those things where it was pretty

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<v Speaker 2>hard and fast from the get go. After that first night,

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<v Speaker 2>he ended up staying over at my place until about

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<v Speaker 2>three pm the next day. He just didn't leave, and

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<v Speaker 2>yet we were just like chatting and hanging out and yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and from then we stayed in touch, and it was

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<v Speaker 2>only a couple days later he asked me to meet

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<v Speaker 2>him for a drink. We had our first date, and

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<v Speaker 2>it was pretty much all on from there. I think

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<v Speaker 2>it was it's only maybe five weeks into us dating

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<v Speaker 2>that he asked me to be his girlfriend. And in

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<v Speaker 2>the same day we were drunk at the races and

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<v Speaker 2>he said I love you as well. So it all, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>happened really quick. I was on cloud nine. I was like,

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<v Speaker 2>this is my perfect guy on paper, just everything. He

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<v Speaker 2>was really smart, really sporty, he loved the beach, he

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<v Speaker 2>loved surfing, he was just yeah, he was really quite

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<v Speaker 2>extroverted like me, and yeah, I was over the moon,

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<v Speaker 2>really really happy. We both had said to each other,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, we've never felt like this before. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I definitely didn't anticipate on getting into such a serious

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<v Speaker 2>relationship so quickly after my last one, and I was

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<v Speaker 2>wanting to just be young and dumb and do my

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<v Speaker 2>own thing. But yeah, I think once I was in

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<v Speaker 2>love again, the blinkers were on, and I was just

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<v Speaker 2>very smitten and hopeful that we would go the distance.

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<v Speaker 2>We were just such a strong couple. We were very loud,

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<v Speaker 2>extroverted couple. We had all the same things in common.

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<v Speaker 2>So I think, you know, when people saw us together

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<v Speaker 2>you know, all my friends were just like, you've met

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<v Speaker 2>this really nice guy who's just so similar, and he's

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<v Speaker 2>all the things that you've ever looked for.

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<v Speaker 3>And a guy this is in game.

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<v Speaker 1>So far, so good.

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<v Speaker 3>The first year, year and a half of our relationship

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<v Speaker 3>was amazing. We had so much fun.

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<v Speaker 2>The following year after we got together, we were supposed

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<v Speaker 2>to go to Central America. He was flying over early

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<v Speaker 2>February twenty twenty and I was going to meet him

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<v Speaker 2>in March, and then pretty much as soon as he

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<v Speaker 2>got there, we went into lockdown, so he had to

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<v Speaker 2>fly back, and obviously my plans got canceled.

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<v Speaker 3>So we went into life with his family.

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<v Speaker 2>My family were living in another city, and yeah, it

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<v Speaker 2>was the best time. It was me and him, one

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<v Speaker 2>of my best friends dates his brother, so it was yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>all four of us and then the parents.

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<v Speaker 3>Was super super fun.

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<v Speaker 2>So that was a big chunk of twenty twenty and

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<v Speaker 2>after COVID we just sort of traveled a lot around

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<v Speaker 2>New Zealand and just made the most of our backyard things.

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<v Speaker 2>I guess started to feel a little bit rocky around

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<v Speaker 2>the beginning of twenty twenty one.

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<v Speaker 3>We were living.

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<v Speaker 2>Over the summer at his parents' place, and he had

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<v Speaker 2>sort of become a little bit distant all of a sudden,

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<v Speaker 2>and I was sort of like, what's going on. He

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<v Speaker 2>was always all in and just like very affectionate and loving,

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<v Speaker 2>and he wasn't and he was really over his job.

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<v Speaker 2>And he just kept saying, it's my mental health. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just not in a good place, not feeling great. And

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<v Speaker 2>obviously I was just like, well, I'll do whatever to

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<v Speaker 2>help you. He was acknowledging he was off, but he

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<v Speaker 2>just kept putting it down to you know, he's just

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<v Speaker 2>feeling like he's in a rut. He didn't get to

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<v Speaker 2>go traveling the year before. He wants to move to Australia,

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<v Speaker 2>and that was always our plan. It was pretty much

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<v Speaker 2>ever since we met, was to move, but I had

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<v Speaker 2>to finish university and I kept saying, like, we can

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<v Speaker 2>go as soon as I finish. I had six more

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<v Speaker 2>months left. He was just not really being as physical

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<v Speaker 2>with me and just not talking as much. Yeah, we

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<v Speaker 2>used to always have our arms around each other, always

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<v Speaker 2>be holding your hands, always be really cuddled up close,

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<v Speaker 2>and it'd sort of be sitting on the other side

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<v Speaker 2>of the couch just whenever I sort of tried to,

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<v Speaker 2>you know, be like come on, like cuddle me whatever.

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<v Speaker 3>It's sort of be like, you know, you could.

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<v Speaker 2>Just feel he just wasn't really, so of course my

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<v Speaker 2>mind just keep going to well, you'd.

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<v Speaker 3>Clearly like it it is me, and he was like, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 3>it's not, it's not you.

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<v Speaker 2>It's not I love you and I'm you know, I

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<v Speaker 2>want to be with you forever. A few weeks of

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<v Speaker 2>that and it just really got to me. And there

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<v Speaker 2>was one time we were supposed to go away together

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<v Speaker 2>for the weekend and he was just being really often

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<v Speaker 2>and I was like, look, I'm going to fly home

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<v Speaker 2>for the weekend. It's a long weekend. I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>go see my family. You should go away with the boys.

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<v Speaker 2>That weekend when I went up to visit my family,

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<v Speaker 2>I didn't even tell any of my friends that I

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<v Speaker 2>was coming up because I was just like, I was

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<v Speaker 2>almost embarrassed. You know, I'm coming up because I'm in

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<v Speaker 2>such a bad headspace because I don't know what's going

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<v Speaker 2>on with my own partner and with living together, and

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<v Speaker 2>everybody has this view of us, and things went what

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<v Speaker 2>it seemed. I'd even spoken to his mum before I

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<v Speaker 2>had flown up. She drove me to the airport and

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<v Speaker 2>I was just like crying. I was like, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know what more I can do. It's just getting to

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<v Speaker 2>the point where he's adam minutes his mental health. But

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<v Speaker 2>I can't live like this. He's just not himself. And

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<v Speaker 2>she was really concerned about him too, and she said,

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<v Speaker 2>this is sometimes what relationships are about. You know, you

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<v Speaker 2>just got to help each other through. So just keep

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<v Speaker 2>supporting him, and you know, if it gets too hard,

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<v Speaker 2>just come talk to me.

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<v Speaker 3>And we can sort it out. She was really supportive.

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<v Speaker 2>When I came back from my hometown after that weekend,

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<v Speaker 2>everything was sort of back to normal kind of. I

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<v Speaker 2>wrote like a huge three page letter of that. You know,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm here for him whatever he needs. I'm willing to

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<v Speaker 2>do whatever it takes. He didn't say a whole lot,

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<v Speaker 2>which I didn't really expect him to, but I just

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<v Speaker 2>put it on the bit side table and he said, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>it's really nice, and he obviously knows all those things,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, any going on, you know, you're such

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<v Speaker 2>a supportive, loyal girlfriend.

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<v Speaker 1>Molly felt confident things were getting back on track. They'd

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<v Speaker 1>taken the little break they needed and both realized what

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<v Speaker 1>they really needed was each other.

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<v Speaker 2>A couple of weeks later, it was my twenty first birthday,

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<v Speaker 2>so my parents flew us up. I was sort of

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<v Speaker 2>having a small ish get together, not a big event

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<v Speaker 2>for my twenty first, but you know, all my girlfriends

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<v Speaker 2>and my family and stuff, and he came up for that,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's always nice when he would come visit my

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<v Speaker 2>hometown and be around my friends. That night, on the

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<v Speaker 2>night of my twenty first, we all went into the

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<v Speaker 2>city afterwards, and I already didn't really want to go out.

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<v Speaker 2>I was having a lot of fun just at home,

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<v Speaker 2>like dancing with my aunties and my friends.

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<v Speaker 3>But he was like, no, you know, we're in the

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<v Speaker 3>big city. Let's go out.

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<v Speaker 2>And he had had some friends also from his hometown visiting,

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<v Speaker 2>so we went and meet up with them. It got

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<v Speaker 2>super late, and I was just like, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 2>go home, and he was like, I'm going to stay out.

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<v Speaker 2>And I was already a little bit annoyed about that,

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<v Speaker 2>because I was like, it's my birthday weekend and my

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<v Speaker 2>parents are flowing you up, and all you really care

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<v Speaker 2>about us just like seeing your mates. But I went

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<v Speaker 2>home and he did come home the next day till

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<v Speaker 2>about two pm. Eventually I got hold of him and

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<v Speaker 2>he was like, I've crashed at this person's house. I'm

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<v Speaker 2>gonna get I'm going to get an uber home soon.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm just gonna go catch up with this other mate.

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<v Speaker 3>And I was just like, what the hell?

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<v Speaker 2>Like he was flying out at like maybe five pm

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<v Speaker 2>that night. It was also Valentine's Day as well. I

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<v Speaker 2>was with my parents.

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<v Speaker 3>They were livid.

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<v Speaker 2>I was on the couch, you know, just in like

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<v Speaker 2>a fetal position, just so upset, like We've come up

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<v Speaker 2>in such a nice weekend and now I can barely

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<v Speaker 2>get hold of him and he's still not home, and

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<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm embarrassed at.

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<v Speaker 3>My parents have had to see that.

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<v Speaker 2>So when he finally walked through the door at two pm,

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<v Speaker 2>we went upstairs to my room and I was just like,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't do this anymore. I'm done whatever's going on,

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<v Speaker 2>I can't do it. And he was like, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>can't break up. I don't want to break up. I

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<v Speaker 2>don't I love you, I'm so sorry, and so on

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<v Speaker 2>so forth. He was adamant, you know, he really really

0:12:16.610 --> 0:12:20.850
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to break up. Yeah, So I was like, okay, well,

0:12:20.970 --> 0:12:23.370
<v Speaker 2>I'll give you one more chance, And of course I

0:12:23.410 --> 0:12:26.450
<v Speaker 2>flew back to the town we were living, and it

0:12:26.530 --> 0:12:28.770
<v Speaker 2>was good for the first few days, and then it

0:12:28.890 --> 0:12:31.770
<v Speaker 2>just sort of went downhill again to the point where

0:12:32.130 --> 0:12:35.130
<v Speaker 2>I was living back at my new place by then

0:12:35.290 --> 0:12:38.570
<v Speaker 2>with my friends at UNI, and he just wasn't really

0:12:38.570 --> 0:12:41.010
<v Speaker 2>making an effort and I just sort of I called

0:12:41.010 --> 0:12:42.930
<v Speaker 2>his mum one day and I was like, I'm done.

0:12:43.250 --> 0:12:44.530
<v Speaker 3>It's been you know, a.

0:12:44.570 --> 0:12:48.010
<v Speaker 2>Couple months of this whatever, and yeah, I don't have

0:12:48.050 --> 0:12:50.090
<v Speaker 2>the capacity to deal with this.

0:12:50.930 --> 0:12:52.450
<v Speaker 3>So I tried to get.

0:12:52.330 --> 0:12:56.010
<v Speaker 2>Him to come over, but he would not come over

0:12:56.050 --> 0:12:59.130
<v Speaker 2>it and I was like, can we please meet to discuss,

0:12:59.290 --> 0:13:01.170
<v Speaker 2>like to talk about this, but he knew I was

0:13:01.170 --> 0:13:02.730
<v Speaker 2>going to break up with him and he was not

0:13:03.330 --> 0:13:06.330
<v Speaker 2>going to have that, so he was like, no, not tonight,

0:13:06.410 --> 0:13:10.450
<v Speaker 2>not tonight. He gave me a call and I just

0:13:10.490 --> 0:13:12.570
<v Speaker 2>said to him, I was like, you know, we really

0:13:12.610 --> 0:13:16.130
<v Speaker 2>need to talk, like I'm really unhappy, and he was like,

0:13:16.170 --> 0:13:18.490
<v Speaker 2>I don't want you to break up with me, and

0:13:18.530 --> 0:13:20.930
<v Speaker 2>I was like, you know, maybe this is what you need.

0:13:21.250 --> 0:13:25.090
<v Speaker 3>I just can't keep doing this anymore. And he was

0:13:25.530 --> 0:13:27.090
<v Speaker 3>really upset. He cried.

0:13:27.170 --> 0:13:28.850
<v Speaker 2>At one point he had to go and get his mum,

0:13:29.570 --> 0:13:32.210
<v Speaker 2>and he was really, yeah, really really upset.

0:13:32.810 --> 0:13:34.610
<v Speaker 3>We ended up breaking up over the phone.

0:13:35.050 --> 0:13:37.410
<v Speaker 1>It wasn't what either of them wanted, but Molly was

0:13:37.450 --> 0:13:40.530
<v Speaker 1>adamant she couldn't keep putting up with this behavior. She

0:13:40.690 --> 0:13:43.450
<v Speaker 1>was young, Yes she was in love, but it shouldn't

0:13:43.490 --> 0:13:44.010
<v Speaker 1>look like this.

0:13:44.850 --> 0:13:47.530
<v Speaker 3>I really really missed him. I was really sad.

0:13:47.570 --> 0:13:50.370
<v Speaker 2>And we kept in touch a little bit, but it

0:13:50.450 --> 0:13:56.250
<v Speaker 2>was really sad. But yeah, after maybe even only six weeks,

0:13:56.290 --> 0:14:00.090
<v Speaker 2>he had messaged me to say that he had actually

0:14:00.130 --> 0:14:04.370
<v Speaker 2>gotten a job in Perth, and that to me actually

0:14:04.850 --> 0:14:08.090
<v Speaker 2>really indicated like, Okay, he was serious about really not

0:14:08.170 --> 0:14:10.730
<v Speaker 2>liking his job, about really wanting to do something about

0:14:10.730 --> 0:14:14.610
<v Speaker 2>it and wanting to you know, spread his wings. And

0:14:14.650 --> 0:14:17.330
<v Speaker 2>he was like, yeah, I'm leaving in a month. I

0:14:17.410 --> 0:14:21.290
<v Speaker 2>was like wow, okay, And we agreed to meet and

0:14:21.530 --> 0:14:22.890
<v Speaker 2>it was supposed to be more like a bit of

0:14:22.890 --> 0:14:25.810
<v Speaker 2>a is this going to be a goodbye? But I

0:14:25.850 --> 0:14:29.450
<v Speaker 2>went over and we pretty much immediately just were we

0:14:29.530 --> 0:14:31.850
<v Speaker 2>miss each other so much and we want.

0:14:31.730 --> 0:14:32.530
<v Speaker 3>To get back together.

0:14:33.290 --> 0:14:37.810
<v Speaker 2>And of course he was leaving to Perth in a month,

0:14:38.650 --> 0:14:41.330
<v Speaker 2>and because I guess that had always been the plan,

0:14:41.570 --> 0:14:44.930
<v Speaker 2>he sort of Yeah. He just was like, you know,

0:14:45.010 --> 0:14:47.490
<v Speaker 2>well you can come over, you can come and visit me,

0:14:47.530 --> 0:14:50.130
<v Speaker 2>and then when you finish university. It was only about

0:14:50.130 --> 0:14:53.210
<v Speaker 2>four months away, but I was graduating, he said you

0:14:53.210 --> 0:14:54.730
<v Speaker 2>can move over and join me.

0:14:55.530 --> 0:14:57.610
<v Speaker 3>So that was sort of the plan.

0:14:58.610 --> 0:15:02.850
<v Speaker 2>And the next month was just like amazing, just trying

0:15:02.850 --> 0:15:05.410
<v Speaker 2>to make the most of our time together. I was

0:15:05.450 --> 0:15:07.370
<v Speaker 2>sort of making up a decision. Am I going to

0:15:07.410 --> 0:15:08.570
<v Speaker 2>trust this person again?

0:15:09.090 --> 0:15:09.770
<v Speaker 3>He was adamant.

0:15:09.810 --> 0:15:12.010
<v Speaker 2>You know, it was just my mental health. I just

0:15:12.090 --> 0:15:13.730
<v Speaker 2>you know, I feel so much better now I've quit

0:15:13.930 --> 0:15:14.370
<v Speaker 2>my job.

0:15:14.450 --> 0:15:15.090
<v Speaker 3>I'm leaving.

0:15:15.610 --> 0:15:17.570
<v Speaker 2>He's like, I just felt like so stuck, like I

0:15:17.570 --> 0:15:20.090
<v Speaker 2>needed to get out of here. I was like, I'm

0:15:20.170 --> 0:15:23.170
<v Speaker 2>so glad that you're out of that now. And I

0:15:23.210 --> 0:15:25.250
<v Speaker 2>don't know, it just seemed like one of those sort

0:15:25.250 --> 0:15:31.370
<v Speaker 2>of healthy breakup slash breaks. It worked and he sorted

0:15:31.490 --> 0:15:33.570
<v Speaker 2>himself out. We got back together.

0:15:34.970 --> 0:15:37.610
<v Speaker 1>During their time apart, Molly had decided she was going

0:15:37.610 --> 0:15:40.890
<v Speaker 1>to move to Australia herself no matter what. So now

0:15:40.890 --> 0:15:43.050
<v Speaker 1>they were back together and Tom was being the great

0:15:43.050 --> 0:15:45.970
<v Speaker 1>boyfriend again. It was an easy decision. She'd finished her

0:15:46.010 --> 0:15:49.450
<v Speaker 1>last few months of UNI, pack up her things and headworst.

0:15:49.570 --> 0:15:54.570
<v Speaker 2>About three or four days before my flight, we went

0:15:54.650 --> 0:16:01.290
<v Speaker 2>into lockdown and my light obviously got canceled because the

0:16:01.290 --> 0:16:02.770
<v Speaker 2>borders closed immediately.

0:16:03.650 --> 0:16:07.050
<v Speaker 3>This was in July that this happened.

0:16:07.210 --> 0:16:11.130
<v Speaker 2>End of July, I think, And yeah, I spent until

0:16:11.450 --> 0:16:15.810
<v Speaker 2>the end of December pretty much stuck in New Zealand

0:16:16.010 --> 0:16:18.930
<v Speaker 2>because of, yeah, the lockdowns and the restrictions and things.

0:16:19.370 --> 0:16:22.330
<v Speaker 3>So every day was hard because I didn't have a

0:16:22.410 --> 0:16:23.170
<v Speaker 3>job anymore.

0:16:23.770 --> 0:16:27.370
<v Speaker 2>And then obviously day to day just worried, you know,

0:16:27.410 --> 0:16:29.130
<v Speaker 2>when am I going to be able to actually get there,

0:16:29.130 --> 0:16:30.370
<v Speaker 2>When am I going to be able to see him?

0:16:30.730 --> 0:16:32.930
<v Speaker 3>And we'd already been doing long distance since May.

0:16:33.490 --> 0:16:35.610
<v Speaker 2>Part of me was like, he's going to be out

0:16:35.610 --> 0:16:37.570
<v Speaker 2>there having so much fun in this new city, and

0:16:37.610 --> 0:16:40.010
<v Speaker 2>he's going to meet all these new people, and you

0:16:40.050 --> 0:16:42.570
<v Speaker 2>know what if he decides he doesn't want me, you know,

0:16:42.730 --> 0:16:45.890
<v Speaker 2>as part of that new life anymore. But he was

0:16:45.970 --> 0:16:49.650
<v Speaker 2>just so desperate to have me there, and he let

0:16:49.690 --> 0:16:53.050
<v Speaker 2>me know that every day without a doubt. He was

0:16:53.090 --> 0:16:56.370
<v Speaker 2>finding it just as hard, if not harder than I was,

0:16:56.690 --> 0:16:59.050
<v Speaker 2>being away from me, and he just wanted nothing more

0:16:59.090 --> 0:17:01.770
<v Speaker 2>than me to just be there and to join him.

0:17:02.370 --> 0:17:04.850
<v Speaker 2>We were at facetiming multiple times a day. He'd sort

0:17:04.890 --> 0:17:07.010
<v Speaker 2>of call me on his way to work, his way

0:17:07.050 --> 0:17:10.810
<v Speaker 2>after work, we would have date nights over video call

0:17:10.970 --> 0:17:13.970
<v Speaker 2>and get dressed up. It was actually a really nice time,

0:17:14.050 --> 0:17:16.410
<v Speaker 2>even though at the time I was desperate to go.

0:17:17.130 --> 0:17:22.770
<v Speaker 2>But yeah, one day, when I was in lockdown, I

0:17:22.810 --> 0:17:27.210
<v Speaker 2>had gotten a message from a friend of mine who

0:17:27.330 --> 0:17:30.050
<v Speaker 2>I had only met earlier that year, just because she

0:17:30.170 --> 0:17:32.850
<v Speaker 2>had moved to the place that Tom and I were living,

0:17:33.210 --> 0:17:35.690
<v Speaker 2>and she was actually my friend's cousin, so she sort

0:17:35.690 --> 0:17:39.010
<v Speaker 2>of got introduced to the friend group and she's lovely,

0:17:39.290 --> 0:17:42.690
<v Speaker 2>lovely girl, and she had messaged me saying like, hey, Molly,

0:17:43.250 --> 0:17:45.890
<v Speaker 2>you're all doing well. Do you mind if I give

0:17:45.930 --> 0:17:48.130
<v Speaker 2>you a call? I just want to talk about it

0:17:48.210 --> 0:17:51.970
<v Speaker 2>a few things. My gut sort of told me like, no,

0:17:52.050 --> 0:17:54.210
<v Speaker 2>you should go for a drive. And when she called me,

0:17:55.170 --> 0:17:59.130
<v Speaker 2>she was just like immediately crying and she was like,

0:17:59.290 --> 0:18:03.250
<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry. I didn't know whether to tell you this.

0:18:03.450 --> 0:18:06.730
<v Speaker 2>I've been sitting on it for so long. But me

0:18:07.330 --> 0:18:12.610
<v Speaker 2>and Tom hooked up earlier in the year when he

0:18:12.770 --> 0:18:18.490
<v Speaker 2>was down away on that voice weekend. She had no

0:18:18.530 --> 0:18:20.210
<v Speaker 2>idea who I was at that time. I had no

0:18:20.250 --> 0:18:23.090
<v Speaker 2>idea who she was, so it had absolutely nothing to

0:18:23.090 --> 0:18:26.130
<v Speaker 2>do with her. She was actually living down where they went,

0:18:26.570 --> 0:18:30.930
<v Speaker 2>and she had just you know, met this guy at

0:18:30.970 --> 0:18:35.210
<v Speaker 2>a bar they you know, were talking, He walked her home,

0:18:35.650 --> 0:18:41.290
<v Speaker 2>got her number, They hooked up and continued messaging for

0:18:41.370 --> 0:18:46.290
<v Speaker 2>a few days, and then after that she obviously tried

0:18:46.290 --> 0:18:48.930
<v Speaker 2>looking him up on like social media and all of that,

0:18:49.770 --> 0:18:54.410
<v Speaker 2>and he actually has a very private social media account.

0:18:54.730 --> 0:18:57.370
<v Speaker 2>So she was saying like it was so hard to

0:18:57.410 --> 0:19:00.050
<v Speaker 2>find him and she only had a first name, and

0:19:00.130 --> 0:19:03.330
<v Speaker 2>she actually just couldn't figure out who this guy was.

0:19:03.330 --> 0:19:05.610
<v Speaker 2>She sort of gave up, he stopped texting her back

0:19:06.370 --> 0:19:10.490
<v Speaker 2>when eventually she had figured it out. And the poor thing,

0:19:10.530 --> 0:19:14.250
<v Speaker 2>when we had become rins around that exact same time,

0:19:14.370 --> 0:19:17.330
<v Speaker 2>my Instagram had gotten deleted, and so I had no

0:19:18.290 --> 0:19:19.850
<v Speaker 2>when she first met me. It wasn't even like she

0:19:19.850 --> 0:19:22.290
<v Speaker 2>could go on to my Instagram and stalk and see

0:19:22.450 --> 0:19:24.450
<v Speaker 2>this boyfriend I was talking about that I had just

0:19:24.490 --> 0:19:25.010
<v Speaker 2>got back.

0:19:24.890 --> 0:19:26.130
<v Speaker 3>With and was moving to Perth with.

0:19:26.810 --> 0:19:29.650
<v Speaker 2>So she knew about this guy like Tom, but she

0:19:29.770 --> 0:19:32.770
<v Speaker 2>never put two and two together. And then so when

0:19:32.810 --> 0:19:35.250
<v Speaker 2>she did, I think I made a post, you know,

0:19:35.290 --> 0:19:39.690
<v Speaker 2>when we were in lockdown and and she saw that

0:19:40.210 --> 0:19:44.610
<v Speaker 2>and was like, oh my god, this is the same guy.

0:19:45.490 --> 0:19:49.970
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, she was just devastated. So I was speech

0:19:50.050 --> 0:19:52.490
<v Speaker 2>just like I felt so sick, like I had just

0:19:52.610 --> 0:19:57.890
<v Speaker 2>you know, I was about to go move overseas for

0:19:57.970 --> 0:20:02.730
<v Speaker 2>this guy. And I was just so blindsided. I was

0:20:02.810 --> 0:20:06.330
<v Speaker 2>just like wait, what, Like how is this even? How

0:20:06.410 --> 0:20:08.450
<v Speaker 2>is this happening? Like this doesn't happen to people like

0:20:08.610 --> 0:20:11.690
<v Speaker 2>you never think it's going to happen to you. And

0:20:11.690 --> 0:20:13.210
<v Speaker 2>I said to her, you know, she told me all

0:20:13.210 --> 0:20:15.970
<v Speaker 2>the details, and she sent me the screenshots of them

0:20:16.050 --> 0:20:18.410
<v Speaker 2>texting and you know, as him, let me know when

0:20:18.410 --> 0:20:21.410
<v Speaker 2>you get home safe, and then him the next day

0:20:21.450 --> 0:20:24.650
<v Speaker 2>asking her to send photos sort of organizing to potentially

0:20:24.650 --> 0:20:28.090
<v Speaker 2>meet up again. And it was just a full blowing

0:20:28.130 --> 0:20:33.050
<v Speaker 2>coincidence that she had moved to our town. So straight

0:20:33.090 --> 0:20:36.410
<v Speaker 2>away I just called him. I was like calling him

0:20:36.450 --> 0:20:39.890
<v Speaker 2>and he was at work in Perth, and I just

0:20:39.970 --> 0:20:42.770
<v Speaker 2>said to him, like, I know everything, She's told me everything.

0:20:43.530 --> 0:20:46.130
<v Speaker 2>How stupid do you think I am? Like, how do

0:20:46.170 --> 0:20:48.730
<v Speaker 2>you think that I could not find this out? And

0:20:48.770 --> 0:20:50.450
<v Speaker 2>I was like, it's not even what you did, it's

0:20:50.490 --> 0:20:52.810
<v Speaker 2>the fact that you lied about it. And the fact

0:20:52.810 --> 0:20:56.130
<v Speaker 2>that you knew I would find out eventually, and he

0:20:56.410 --> 0:20:58.130
<v Speaker 2>was like, I know, I was in denial. I was

0:20:58.170 --> 0:21:01.010
<v Speaker 2>just hoping that you wouldn't find out. I was like why,

0:21:01.290 --> 0:21:04.130
<v Speaker 2>Like how did you not think that I wouldn't find out?

0:21:04.330 --> 0:21:07.210
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, honestly, every day you messaged me,

0:21:07.330 --> 0:21:09.850
<v Speaker 2>I just thought, today's the day she's going to find out.

0:21:10.410 --> 0:21:13.250
<v Speaker 3>And I was like, what the heck? Why would you

0:21:13.290 --> 0:21:14.130
<v Speaker 3>want to live like that?

0:21:15.090 --> 0:21:19.010
<v Speaker 2>And at that time, I was trying to get an

0:21:19.010 --> 0:21:22.210
<v Speaker 2>exemption to go in and do hotel quarantine and we

0:21:22.210 --> 0:21:23.850
<v Speaker 2>were trying to do that, and we had to go

0:21:23.890 --> 0:21:26.530
<v Speaker 2>through that whole process and go through the whole to

0:21:26.610 --> 0:21:32.170
<v Speaker 2>facto relationship trying to get me into WA despite the

0:21:32.250 --> 0:21:34.930
<v Speaker 2>borders closing. And I said to him, I was like,

0:21:35.330 --> 0:21:37.130
<v Speaker 2>you knew I was going to find out eventually, Like

0:21:37.210 --> 0:21:39.250
<v Speaker 2>were you just waiting for me to get to WA

0:21:39.850 --> 0:21:42.570
<v Speaker 2>because you knew once I got there, I couldn't leave.

0:21:43.170 --> 0:21:44.850
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, you know, I just hope that

0:21:44.890 --> 0:21:47.610
<v Speaker 2>when we're in person, you know, I could, you know,

0:21:47.650 --> 0:21:48.650
<v Speaker 2>explain things better.

0:21:49.210 --> 0:21:50.250
<v Speaker 3>I didn't want to lose you.

0:21:50.330 --> 0:21:52.250
<v Speaker 2>And then when we got back together, I didn't see

0:21:52.250 --> 0:21:54.490
<v Speaker 2>the point in telling you I knew you'd never get

0:21:54.530 --> 0:21:57.090
<v Speaker 2>back with me, and he knew my stance on cheating

0:21:57.130 --> 0:21:59.410
<v Speaker 2>as well. Like, yeah, so it was a lot of

0:21:59.450 --> 0:22:01.690
<v Speaker 2>back and forth. You know, he was cooling my parents

0:22:01.690 --> 0:22:04.730
<v Speaker 2>and then you know, his mum was calling me. Everyone

0:22:04.810 --> 0:22:07.690
<v Speaker 2>was really worried about him and his mental health while

0:22:07.730 --> 0:22:10.650
<v Speaker 2>he was over there, and I was just like, oh, God,

0:22:10.690 --> 0:22:14.250
<v Speaker 2>like you know, of course everything's now just you know,

0:22:14.250 --> 0:22:17.450
<v Speaker 2>everyone's worried about him again. And yeah, I basically said

0:22:17.450 --> 0:22:20.410
<v Speaker 2>to him, I'm not coming to birth cheatings of one thing,

0:22:20.570 --> 0:22:23.490
<v Speaker 2>you know, like the one thing that I just do

0:22:23.650 --> 0:22:26.530
<v Speaker 2>not stand for, and the lying on top of that

0:22:27.410 --> 0:22:29.650
<v Speaker 2>to not even feel guilty enough to try and make

0:22:29.690 --> 0:22:32.170
<v Speaker 2>it up to me on my twenty first birthday, you know,

0:22:32.290 --> 0:22:33.690
<v Speaker 2>and that was only a week later.

0:22:34.410 --> 0:22:35.690
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, so I was just like.

0:22:35.770 --> 0:22:41.850
<v Speaker 2>Nah, I didn't say anything to anyone. I asked the

0:22:41.890 --> 0:22:43.930
<v Speaker 2>girl not to talk to anyone about it. I didn't

0:22:43.930 --> 0:22:46.970
<v Speaker 2>tell any of my friends. I had one friend, like

0:22:47.130 --> 0:22:49.770
<v Speaker 2>our mutual friend with the other girl, that knew, but

0:22:50.290 --> 0:22:52.810
<v Speaker 2>I didn't tell any of my friends at home. Only

0:22:52.850 --> 0:22:55.610
<v Speaker 2>my family knew, and his family knew. I was just

0:22:55.730 --> 0:23:00.490
<v Speaker 2>so humiliated, like so embarrassed. I said, this is so embarrassing.

0:23:00.530 --> 0:23:05.090
<v Speaker 2>I was just about to move countries for someone and

0:23:05.570 --> 0:23:08.330
<v Speaker 2>all along like he's been lying to me the last

0:23:08.370 --> 0:23:11.970
<v Speaker 2>six months, and yeah, I was just like I was

0:23:12.050 --> 0:23:14.730
<v Speaker 2>just livid and I just didn't want anyone to know.

0:23:15.410 --> 0:23:19.410
<v Speaker 2>And I also had my kid also telling me, like

0:23:19.450 --> 0:23:22.730
<v Speaker 2>the coincidence of this all like how could this be

0:23:23.450 --> 0:23:25.610
<v Speaker 2>the first time, I don't know, you know, we've been

0:23:25.650 --> 0:23:29.570
<v Speaker 2>together for over two years at this point, I doubt it.

0:23:30.210 --> 0:23:34.370
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I just you know, it explained all the

0:23:34.890 --> 0:23:39.650
<v Speaker 2>weird behavior and all of that around the time. But

0:23:39.770 --> 0:23:42.650
<v Speaker 2>it also was kind of like made me a bit sick.

0:23:43.050 --> 0:23:45.410
<v Speaker 2>How also normal he.

0:23:45.410 --> 0:23:47.010
<v Speaker 3>Could act straight after it.

0:23:47.490 --> 0:23:49.330
<v Speaker 2>He was Adam, and he was like, I want to

0:23:49.330 --> 0:23:51.850
<v Speaker 2>be with you forever. I would never do this to

0:23:51.890 --> 0:23:54.170
<v Speaker 2>you again. He was willing to do whatever it took

0:23:54.250 --> 0:23:57.410
<v Speaker 2>to make up for it, and he was putting in

0:23:57.450 --> 0:23:59.410
<v Speaker 2>the hard yards. He was like, as soon as the

0:23:59.410 --> 0:24:01.010
<v Speaker 2>border is open, I'm going to be back in New Zealand.

0:24:01.010 --> 0:24:02.050
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to move back.

0:24:02.330 --> 0:24:04.930
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to work this out. And I just said,

0:24:05.010 --> 0:24:07.530
<v Speaker 2>all I need is just time. I'm so hurt and

0:24:07.570 --> 0:24:10.970
<v Speaker 2>confused right now. I just need some space. So luckily

0:24:10.970 --> 0:24:13.090
<v Speaker 2>I was in lockdown. Can do a lot of reflecting,

0:24:13.130 --> 0:24:17.010
<v Speaker 2>and I just sort of eventually came to the conclusion that,

0:24:17.690 --> 0:24:19.890
<v Speaker 2>you know, I was still going to go. This was

0:24:20.050 --> 0:24:23.450
<v Speaker 2>has been the plan for me to go, and if

0:24:23.530 --> 0:24:26.490
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing it for myself, like I'm going over for myself,

0:24:26.610 --> 0:24:29.850
<v Speaker 2>and if he does this to me again, then shame

0:24:29.930 --> 0:24:31.970
<v Speaker 2>on me sort of thing. And you know, I was

0:24:31.970 --> 0:24:35.570
<v Speaker 2>still only twenty one. I really wanted to believe and

0:24:35.690 --> 0:24:38.250
<v Speaker 2>he was telling me everything, you know, pulling out all

0:24:38.290 --> 0:24:42.090
<v Speaker 2>the stops. He was just like, he was like, you know,

0:24:42.330 --> 0:24:44.370
<v Speaker 2>I'm willing to give you as much space as you want.

0:24:44.970 --> 0:24:47.170
<v Speaker 2>Any day I would ask him, can you just tell

0:24:47.210 --> 0:24:49.370
<v Speaker 2>me exactly what you were thinking at that time? And

0:24:49.490 --> 0:24:52.050
<v Speaker 2>his excuse was, I wasn't thinking, but I would never

0:24:52.090 --> 0:24:54.890
<v Speaker 2>do that. I'm willing to do the work and all that.

0:24:55.090 --> 0:24:58.490
<v Speaker 2>So this all sort of happened over the next couple

0:24:58.450 --> 0:25:03.770
<v Speaker 2>of months, and yeah, come December, things were looking a

0:25:03.810 --> 0:25:05.690
<v Speaker 2>little bit more positive. I was able to get a

0:25:05.690 --> 0:25:08.250
<v Speaker 2>flight to Sydney and he was going to leave wa

0:25:08.450 --> 0:25:10.290
<v Speaker 2>and come and meet me there and then we would

0:25:10.370 --> 0:25:13.290
<v Speaker 2>just live in the Goal Coast until the border's opened,

0:25:13.290 --> 0:25:15.050
<v Speaker 2>so for a couple months and he could just work

0:25:15.090 --> 0:25:16.690
<v Speaker 2>out of the Gold Coast office.

0:25:16.370 --> 0:25:20.130
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, that's what we did. But I felt at

0:25:20.130 --> 0:25:25.010
<v Speaker 3>that point, you know, very very confident and very trusting

0:25:25.770 --> 0:25:28.210
<v Speaker 3>because he had instilled a lot of trust in me

0:25:28.850 --> 0:25:31.370
<v Speaker 3>over that time. He was putting in more effort than

0:25:31.370 --> 0:25:35.490
<v Speaker 3>ever and sending me flowers and all that sort of stuff.

0:25:35.970 --> 0:25:39.170
<v Speaker 2>Also, him leaving WA and doing all that and risking

0:25:39.210 --> 0:25:42.490
<v Speaker 2>all of that was a lot as well, So that

0:25:42.850 --> 0:25:46.850
<v Speaker 2>sort of really made me think, you know, he's Darius,

0:25:46.490 --> 0:25:48.010
<v Speaker 2>He's not this.

0:25:48.050 --> 0:25:50.050
<v Speaker 3>Type of person. He's not going to do that to

0:25:50.130 --> 0:25:50.650
<v Speaker 3>me again.

0:25:51.490 --> 0:25:54.170
<v Speaker 1>It was a roller coaster, but she loved him and

0:25:54.210 --> 0:25:56.890
<v Speaker 1>believed him. She was willing to give him another chance.

0:25:57.410 --> 0:26:02.650
<v Speaker 2>We finally got to Perth and it was amazing. Moved

0:26:02.690 --> 0:26:08.250
<v Speaker 2>into our new place with our friends, and yeah, it

0:26:08.330 --> 0:26:12.810
<v Speaker 2>was just such a fun burst few months we had

0:26:13.330 --> 0:26:16.730
<v Speaker 2>the best time. We were living by the beach and yeah,

0:26:16.770 --> 0:26:21.370
<v Speaker 2>living with my now best friend and one of his

0:26:21.730 --> 0:26:26.210
<v Speaker 2>friends also from New Zealand. Our relationship was stronger than ever,

0:26:26.890 --> 0:26:30.450
<v Speaker 2>really really nice. We were just, yeah, just so happy.

0:26:30.490 --> 0:26:34.450
<v Speaker 2>I think having spent all this time apart and not

0:26:34.490 --> 0:26:36.970
<v Speaker 2>being able to see each other, we just really cherished

0:26:37.010 --> 0:26:39.450
<v Speaker 2>all of that time that we had together because you know,

0:26:39.490 --> 0:26:41.170
<v Speaker 2>we knew what it was like not to be able

0:26:41.210 --> 0:26:43.730
<v Speaker 2>to see each other, and that was so hard at

0:26:43.730 --> 0:26:47.010
<v Speaker 2>the time. So it just felt so nice and to

0:26:47.090 --> 0:26:49.850
<v Speaker 2>be experiencing all these new things together and being able

0:26:49.850 --> 0:26:52.850
<v Speaker 2>to catch the train into work together. And I got

0:26:52.890 --> 0:26:56.450
<v Speaker 2>a job at a place literally across the road from him.

0:26:56.890 --> 0:27:00.450
<v Speaker 2>We go in together and every weekend we go down

0:27:00.730 --> 0:27:05.090
<v Speaker 2>south and go surfing, and yeah, it was just lovely.

0:27:05.690 --> 0:27:08.930
<v Speaker 2>I didn't really think about the cheating much at that point.

0:27:09.330 --> 0:27:10.290
<v Speaker 3>I was well over it.

0:27:10.370 --> 0:27:12.930
<v Speaker 2>I was just so happy with where we were at

0:27:13.010 --> 0:27:17.290
<v Speaker 2>at the time. And yeah, he never gave me any

0:27:17.330 --> 0:27:19.930
<v Speaker 2>reason to believe that he was going to do that

0:27:20.010 --> 0:27:23.850
<v Speaker 2>to me again, So yeah, I was really happy. Every

0:27:24.250 --> 0:27:27.770
<v Speaker 2>Friday night we would meet with some of his work

0:27:27.770 --> 0:27:31.290
<v Speaker 2>colleagues for a drink after work, and so I made

0:27:31.410 --> 0:27:34.930
<v Speaker 2>a couple of friends there through him. I honestly didn't

0:27:34.970 --> 0:27:38.330
<v Speaker 2>know like anyone moving a Perth and so that was

0:27:38.370 --> 0:27:42.570
<v Speaker 2>really nice. And I meet a girl one of his colleagues, Sophie,

0:27:43.090 --> 0:27:47.010
<v Speaker 2>who we got along really well, and she had long

0:27:47.090 --> 0:27:49.290
<v Speaker 2>term partner as well, and she would always be there

0:27:49.290 --> 0:27:51.650
<v Speaker 2>at afterwork drinks, so I still of just sit and

0:27:51.730 --> 0:27:53.450
<v Speaker 2>chat with her and some of the other girls.

0:27:53.170 --> 0:27:55.370
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, it was really nice to get to know them.

0:27:56.930 --> 0:27:59.610
<v Speaker 1>But after a couple of months, things started to slip

0:27:59.650 --> 0:28:02.730
<v Speaker 1>back into the routine of Tom staying out later and later.

0:28:03.170 --> 0:28:05.730
<v Speaker 1>They'd go out together, but Molly would always call it

0:28:05.770 --> 0:28:08.570
<v Speaker 1>first and Tom would stay out. But she knew she

0:28:08.650 --> 0:28:10.970
<v Speaker 1>was the one in the relationship who'd always call it early,

0:28:11.250 --> 0:28:14.090
<v Speaker 1>and he just wasn't. It was nothing to worry about.

0:28:14.330 --> 0:28:16.050
<v Speaker 3>He was with all of his work friends. They were

0:28:16.090 --> 0:28:17.130
<v Speaker 3>just at the bars.

0:28:17.250 --> 0:28:19.610
<v Speaker 2>They were just leading off steam on a Friday night,

0:28:20.290 --> 0:28:23.330
<v Speaker 2>and I loved all of them, like they're all our friends,

0:28:23.370 --> 0:28:26.930
<v Speaker 2>and I would just get tired and go home. It

0:28:27.050 --> 0:28:32.570
<v Speaker 2>got to about June and we had his work ball,

0:28:33.090 --> 0:28:36.010
<v Speaker 2>which I was super excited about. Sophie and I I

0:28:36.090 --> 0:28:39.050
<v Speaker 2>planned our outfits together and I was just really excited

0:28:39.090 --> 0:28:39.890
<v Speaker 2>to get glammed up.

0:28:40.090 --> 0:28:42.290
<v Speaker 3>Hadn't done that in so long because of COVID.

0:28:42.770 --> 0:28:46.850
<v Speaker 2>Got my dress and we all had drinks beforehands, like

0:28:47.130 --> 0:28:50.090
<v Speaker 2>Tom and I and Sophie and her partner and a

0:28:50.170 --> 0:28:53.890
<v Speaker 2>couple of our other friends that they worked with. And yeah,

0:28:53.890 --> 0:28:55.970
<v Speaker 2>we had such a good night obviously. Yeah, we all

0:28:55.970 --> 0:28:58.610
<v Speaker 2>got really really drunk and just had a good night

0:28:58.650 --> 0:29:00.930
<v Speaker 2>on the dance floor and then afterwards we went into

0:29:00.930 --> 0:29:05.210
<v Speaker 2>the city and went to a club and yeah, we

0:29:05.210 --> 0:29:09.210
<v Speaker 2>were just having a really great night and I ended

0:29:09.290 --> 0:29:12.450
<v Speaker 2>up losing them at one point, and by the time

0:29:12.490 --> 0:29:16.610
<v Speaker 2>I sort of found them again, my friend had said

0:29:17.170 --> 0:29:20.850
<v Speaker 2>Tom was looking for you, but now he's gone. She

0:29:20.970 --> 0:29:24.370
<v Speaker 2>was like, Tom has gone to walk Sophie home, because

0:29:24.450 --> 0:29:27.370
<v Speaker 2>Sophie doesn't live so far from the city and her

0:29:27.650 --> 0:29:30.330
<v Speaker 2>partner had gone home earlier because they had had a

0:29:30.450 --> 0:29:32.090
<v Speaker 2>bit of an argument, and she had told me in

0:29:32.130 --> 0:29:34.690
<v Speaker 2>the bathroom he was annoyed that he wanted to go

0:29:34.770 --> 0:29:38.770
<v Speaker 2>home early and she didn't, so Tom couldn't find me,

0:29:38.890 --> 0:29:44.250
<v Speaker 2>and some reason decided he'd walk get her home safely instead. Yeah,

0:29:44.330 --> 0:29:46.930
<v Speaker 2>so I was like, oh, okay, and I was trying

0:29:46.930 --> 0:29:48.610
<v Speaker 2>to get in contact with him to see does he

0:29:48.650 --> 0:29:50.930
<v Speaker 2>want me to wait to get an uber home together,

0:29:51.130 --> 0:29:51.770
<v Speaker 2>like I'm a.

0:29:51.770 --> 0:29:54.370
<v Speaker 3>Bit confused, but I couldn't get in contact with him.

0:29:54.410 --> 0:29:57.330
<v Speaker 2>His phone was clearly off, so I was like, oh, whatever,

0:29:57.890 --> 0:30:00.650
<v Speaker 2>really didn't think too much into it, and we all

0:30:00.850 --> 0:30:05.010
<v Speaker 2>went home, me and the other housemates, and we fell

0:30:05.050 --> 0:30:08.330
<v Speaker 2>asleep and in the morning I woke up around nine

0:30:08.330 --> 0:30:10.730
<v Speaker 2>o'clock and I tried to call and text him and

0:30:11.090 --> 0:30:14.410
<v Speaker 2>his phone didn't pick up and he hadn't come home

0:30:14.490 --> 0:30:19.330
<v Speaker 2>all night, So I think because I was so used

0:30:19.330 --> 0:30:23.010
<v Speaker 2>to him being out late and you know all of that.

0:30:23.530 --> 0:30:25.970
<v Speaker 2>When I got home, you know, i'd had a fearbit

0:30:25.970 --> 0:30:28.090
<v Speaker 2>to drink, I just sort of was like, he'll be

0:30:28.130 --> 0:30:30.930
<v Speaker 2>home soon enough. He's probably walked to home and they're

0:30:30.930 --> 0:30:32.730
<v Speaker 2>going to get an uber and he'll be back soon.

0:30:32.810 --> 0:30:35.210
<v Speaker 2>And so I sort of just fell asleep. And so

0:30:35.330 --> 0:30:38.010
<v Speaker 2>when I woke up in the morning and he wasn't

0:30:38.130 --> 0:30:41.330
<v Speaker 2>in bed, I was like, wait what?

0:30:41.450 --> 0:30:42.370
<v Speaker 3>And I went outside and.

0:30:42.370 --> 0:30:46.330
<v Speaker 2>Thought maybe he's on the couch and he wasn't there,

0:30:47.290 --> 0:30:50.730
<v Speaker 2>and I tried to call him and he wasn't picking up.

0:30:51.250 --> 0:30:53.170
<v Speaker 2>For all we know, he could be dead in a gutter,

0:30:53.570 --> 0:30:57.810
<v Speaker 2>like we don't actually know if he got her home or.

0:30:57.330 --> 0:30:57.890
<v Speaker 3>Any of this.

0:30:58.490 --> 0:31:02.970
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I was just like an anxious miss like

0:31:03.050 --> 0:31:03.730
<v Speaker 2>where is he?

0:31:03.850 --> 0:31:05.330
<v Speaker 3>Like what's going on? I don't know?

0:31:05.450 --> 0:31:08.570
<v Speaker 2>And so I was then calling her and messaging her

0:31:09.050 --> 0:31:12.130
<v Speaker 2>to be like, have you seen Tom? Did he leave

0:31:12.170 --> 0:31:14.490
<v Speaker 2>yours last night? Or did he crash you know, did

0:31:14.490 --> 0:31:17.530
<v Speaker 2>you crash over? She also I couldn't get hold of her.

0:31:18.210 --> 0:31:21.730
<v Speaker 2>I definitely had a bit of a gut feeling for sure,

0:31:22.170 --> 0:31:25.850
<v Speaker 2>because she lived with her parents, not with her long

0:31:25.930 --> 0:31:28.050
<v Speaker 2>term boyfriend. They had been together for six years or

0:31:28.090 --> 0:31:30.530
<v Speaker 2>something like that, a long time, and they were also

0:31:31.010 --> 0:31:35.330
<v Speaker 2>Tom's age, so I just was like, no, she lives

0:31:35.330 --> 0:31:38.090
<v Speaker 2>at her parents. She honestly, if I couldn't trust him,

0:31:38.090 --> 0:31:40.090
<v Speaker 2>I thought I could trust her. I was like, me

0:31:40.170 --> 0:31:42.530
<v Speaker 2>and her, you know, we're good friends.

0:31:42.570 --> 0:31:42.850
<v Speaker 3>Now.

0:31:43.290 --> 0:31:46.330
<v Speaker 2>I know she wouldn't do that to her partner, she

0:31:46.330 --> 0:31:49.370
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't do that to me. But I did always have

0:31:49.410 --> 0:31:52.050
<v Speaker 2>a little bit of a feeling that maybe she had

0:31:52.090 --> 0:31:55.930
<v Speaker 2>a bit of a crush on Tom, which, to be honest,

0:31:56.650 --> 0:32:01.610
<v Speaker 2>he's good looking, he's charismatic. She's probably not the first

0:32:01.610 --> 0:32:04.210
<v Speaker 2>one to have a little crush. I don't mind that

0:32:04.410 --> 0:32:06.810
<v Speaker 2>so much. But it was more that I just really

0:32:06.810 --> 0:32:09.810
<v Speaker 2>trusted her. So for me, I was like, you know,

0:32:09.890 --> 0:32:12.250
<v Speaker 2>maybe his phone was did it was a convenie vedience thing.

0:32:13.170 --> 0:32:15.650
<v Speaker 2>But I was anxious. I was an anxious miss I

0:32:15.810 --> 0:32:18.930
<v Speaker 2>was thinking, like, has he fallen over and he's been

0:32:18.970 --> 0:32:21.930
<v Speaker 2>too drunken, He's in a gutter somewhere, like I was thinking,

0:32:22.010 --> 0:32:24.530
<v Speaker 2>has he tried to get to the train station and

0:32:25.570 --> 0:32:27.090
<v Speaker 2>fallen asleep at the train station.

0:32:27.450 --> 0:32:31.170
<v Speaker 3>Has he ouber to the wrong house, like all those

0:32:31.210 --> 0:32:34.130
<v Speaker 3>things were going through my kids, just all the scenarios

0:32:34.210 --> 0:32:35.730
<v Speaker 3>and worst case scenarios.

0:32:36.290 --> 0:32:38.810
<v Speaker 2>At about eleven am, I finally heard from him. Wasn't

0:32:38.810 --> 0:32:42.610
<v Speaker 2>even a cool back. He texted me back saying, sorry,

0:32:42.730 --> 0:32:45.810
<v Speaker 2>crashed at Sophie's phone died, She's going to drop me

0:32:45.850 --> 0:32:46.290
<v Speaker 2>home now.

0:32:47.250 --> 0:32:49.850
<v Speaker 3>And obviously I was relieved to hear from him finally.

0:32:49.570 --> 0:32:53.970
<v Speaker 2>But I was also a bit Okay, why is it

0:32:54.010 --> 0:32:57.410
<v Speaker 2>eleven o'clock? You know, if you're sleeping over at her place,

0:32:57.770 --> 0:32:59.970
<v Speaker 2>at her parents house, you know, I would expect him

0:32:59.970 --> 0:33:03.730
<v Speaker 2>to be on the couch or something and probably wouldn't

0:33:03.730 --> 0:33:06.090
<v Speaker 2>be sleeping into eleven am on your friend's parents couch.

0:33:06.170 --> 0:33:09.810
<v Speaker 3>So I was just a bit bit weirded out. So

0:33:11.290 --> 0:33:12.490
<v Speaker 3>ended up being another.

0:33:12.250 --> 0:33:15.370
<v Speaker 2>Couple of hours till he finally got home in his suit,

0:33:15.530 --> 0:33:18.330
<v Speaker 2>still from the ball. And when he finally got home,

0:33:18.370 --> 0:33:20.130
<v Speaker 2>and I've been calling him, like you said you were

0:33:20.170 --> 0:33:22.970
<v Speaker 2>getting dropped home an hour ago, like where are you now,

0:33:23.570 --> 0:33:26.810
<v Speaker 2>and he just wouldn't answer again. And when he finally

0:33:26.810 --> 0:33:29.490
<v Speaker 2>came through the door and he was like, oh, sorry,

0:33:29.890 --> 0:33:33.730
<v Speaker 2>we just went out for lunch. That was what really

0:33:34.530 --> 0:33:37.970
<v Speaker 2>just took me back because I was like, wait what

0:33:38.570 --> 0:33:40.570
<v Speaker 2>He was like, yeah, we were hungry, so we stopped

0:33:40.570 --> 0:33:43.090
<v Speaker 2>for lunch on the way back. But I remember thinking,

0:33:44.130 --> 0:33:47.890
<v Speaker 2>not that anything had happened, but thinking worrying to myself,

0:33:48.410 --> 0:33:50.330
<v Speaker 2>does he want to spend time with her more than

0:33:50.330 --> 0:33:52.490
<v Speaker 2>he wants to spend time with me? Like should I

0:33:52.570 --> 0:33:56.170
<v Speaker 2>be worrying that he's not excited to come home to

0:33:56.450 --> 0:33:59.370
<v Speaker 2>his partner of four years when he can just hang

0:33:59.410 --> 0:34:01.090
<v Speaker 2>out with her and go out for lunch with her

0:34:01.690 --> 0:34:06.250
<v Speaker 2>while I'm at home in albeit And so that was hurtfull.

0:34:07.210 --> 0:34:10.450
<v Speaker 2>He wasn't apologetic at all. No, he was just blase.

0:34:11.210 --> 0:34:13.050
<v Speaker 2>He was like like, oh, I need to have a

0:34:13.090 --> 0:34:17.530
<v Speaker 2>shower and hungover. And I was more just like, you

0:34:17.650 --> 0:34:20.650
<v Speaker 2>need to tell me when things like that are happening,

0:34:20.690 --> 0:34:21.410
<v Speaker 2>Like I can't.

0:34:21.450 --> 0:34:22.650
<v Speaker 3>I was so worried.

0:34:22.690 --> 0:34:24.370
<v Speaker 2>I was like, if that was me and you couldn't

0:34:24.370 --> 0:34:26.410
<v Speaker 2>get in hold in touch with me for you know,

0:34:26.530 --> 0:34:29.530
<v Speaker 2>twelve hours, you'd be calling the police, like you'd be

0:34:29.610 --> 0:34:30.490
<v Speaker 2>so worried.

0:34:31.090 --> 0:34:32.050
<v Speaker 3>You can't just go.

0:34:31.930 --> 0:34:34.930
<v Speaker 2>That long without telling me, you know, especially you know

0:34:34.970 --> 0:34:37.250
<v Speaker 2>when we lived together and you are my one support

0:34:37.290 --> 0:34:41.370
<v Speaker 2>person here and without you, I don't have any family.

0:34:41.410 --> 0:34:43.610
<v Speaker 3>I don't have. I have the people that I lived with,

0:34:43.650 --> 0:34:46.170
<v Speaker 3>but I hadn't even had the chance to form those

0:34:46.690 --> 0:34:48.170
<v Speaker 3>really strong friendships yet.

0:34:48.930 --> 0:34:51.210
<v Speaker 1>For all of these reasons, Molly didn't harp on her

0:34:51.210 --> 0:34:53.650
<v Speaker 1>any longer. She let Tom know how it made her

0:34:53.650 --> 0:34:56.250
<v Speaker 1>feel that day, and they moved on. It was one

0:34:56.330 --> 0:34:59.890
<v Speaker 1>drunken night of people in their early twenties making poor decisions.

0:35:00.530 --> 0:35:02.930
<v Speaker 2>I really don't think I thought too much of it

0:35:03.330 --> 0:35:06.610
<v Speaker 2>after that. I just sort of push it under the bug,

0:35:06.690 --> 0:35:11.090
<v Speaker 2>I guess, and sort of continued on. And then there

0:35:11.130 --> 0:35:14.330
<v Speaker 2>was one time where we went out for after work

0:35:14.410 --> 0:35:17.330
<v Speaker 2>drinks and I met them. We were supposed to go

0:35:17.450 --> 0:35:19.570
<v Speaker 2>away that week, Hint and me and his brother. His

0:35:19.610 --> 0:35:21.890
<v Speaker 2>brother had just moved over from New Zealand and was

0:35:21.930 --> 0:35:24.650
<v Speaker 2>living with us, and we were supposed to go away.

0:35:24.890 --> 0:35:27.610
<v Speaker 3>So me and his brother had like packed up the car,

0:35:28.010 --> 0:35:29.490
<v Speaker 3>put all the surfboards.

0:35:28.970 --> 0:35:31.250
<v Speaker 2>In everything, and then we said to him, we'll pick

0:35:31.290 --> 0:35:33.770
<v Speaker 2>you up on our way through and we'll drive straight down.

0:35:34.290 --> 0:35:37.610
<v Speaker 2>And so we get there and he was like, park,

0:35:38.090 --> 0:35:40.690
<v Speaker 2>you know, just park up and we'll have one drink

0:35:40.730 --> 0:35:42.450
<v Speaker 2>and then you know, comes so hard to the work friends,

0:35:42.450 --> 0:35:44.290
<v Speaker 2>and then we'll go from there. And so I was

0:35:44.330 --> 0:35:47.530
<v Speaker 2>literally in my puffa jacket, like in my full camping. Yeah,

0:35:47.570 --> 0:35:50.450
<v Speaker 2>and we show up and you know, of course he

0:35:50.810 --> 0:35:54.970
<v Speaker 2>looks already half smashed. So I was like, great, okay,

0:35:55.010 --> 0:35:56.650
<v Speaker 2>and you know, I went and sat next to Sophie

0:35:56.690 --> 0:35:58.930
<v Speaker 2>and we were chatting and sort of got like an

0:35:58.970 --> 0:36:01.730
<v Speaker 2>hour we'd passing, got a you know, seven eight pm,

0:36:01.850 --> 0:36:04.650
<v Speaker 2>and I was like to the boys, okay, like, you

0:36:04.690 --> 0:36:06.170
<v Speaker 2>guys have both had too much a drink, so I'm

0:36:06.170 --> 0:36:07.930
<v Speaker 2>going to need to drive now, but like we should go.

0:36:08.450 --> 0:36:10.330
<v Speaker 2>He's like, no, we should just have a night out

0:36:10.410 --> 0:36:13.290
<v Speaker 2>instead it and we will drive down really early tomorrow.

0:36:13.330 --> 0:36:16.650
<v Speaker 2>He even said we can sleep in the car in

0:36:16.690 --> 0:36:19.450
<v Speaker 2>the car park and then just drive down. He said

0:36:19.450 --> 0:36:21.850
<v Speaker 2>we could just send it tonight. And I was like,

0:36:22.010 --> 0:36:24.170
<v Speaker 2>oh my god. And at that point I was at

0:36:24.170 --> 0:36:27.250
<v Speaker 2>my WIT's end, and Sophie noticed and she took me

0:36:28.130 --> 0:36:31.810
<v Speaker 2>to the bathroom. She looked at me and she was like,

0:36:32.130 --> 0:36:34.850
<v Speaker 2>I don't know how you do it. I was crying,

0:36:34.890 --> 0:36:37.930
<v Speaker 2>and I was just like, there's no point in me

0:36:38.010 --> 0:36:40.810
<v Speaker 2>even trying it. It's just like my whole weekends already

0:36:40.930 --> 0:36:44.290
<v Speaker 2>just ruins, because you know, we're supposed to drive down

0:36:44.410 --> 0:36:47.410
<v Speaker 2>and have this weaken away camping and now it's all

0:36:47.450 --> 0:36:51.250
<v Speaker 2>gone out the window. So yeah, I stayed with them

0:36:51.290 --> 0:36:52.770
<v Speaker 2>for a little bit, and then I was like, I'm

0:36:52.810 --> 0:36:55.730
<v Speaker 2>just going to go home. And Tom was just being

0:36:55.770 --> 0:36:59.250
<v Speaker 2>like super rude this whole night, you know, just like

0:36:59.730 --> 0:37:00.570
<v Speaker 2>you know, lighting up.

0:37:00.610 --> 0:37:01.210
<v Speaker 3>Who cares.

0:37:01.530 --> 0:37:04.370
<v Speaker 2>We'll go down tomorrow morning, it will be fine. And

0:37:04.450 --> 0:37:05.970
<v Speaker 2>I was just like, all right, well, I'm going to

0:37:06.050 --> 0:37:08.850
<v Speaker 2>go back home. We did end up going away early

0:37:09.290 --> 0:37:12.010
<v Speaker 2>next morning, and me and him had a really big

0:37:12.130 --> 0:37:14.570
<v Speaker 2>chat while we were down and down south, and I

0:37:14.570 --> 0:37:18.050
<v Speaker 2>said to him like, I'm just over this whole situation.

0:37:18.610 --> 0:37:22.250
<v Speaker 2>I just can't be doing stuff like that. But I

0:37:22.330 --> 0:37:25.610
<v Speaker 2>have nowhere to go. Even if I wanted to break

0:37:25.690 --> 0:37:28.090
<v Speaker 2>up with him, I didn't have any family I could

0:37:28.090 --> 0:37:31.050
<v Speaker 2>just go stay with His brother was now living with us.

0:37:31.410 --> 0:37:33.650
<v Speaker 2>You know, I didn't really have friends that had speared

0:37:33.730 --> 0:37:35.610
<v Speaker 2>rooms in their house. It was just really hard to

0:37:36.210 --> 0:37:37.970
<v Speaker 2>And then I was also had that pressure of I

0:37:38.010 --> 0:37:41.490
<v Speaker 2>don't want to go back to New Zealand and be like, hey, guys,

0:37:41.650 --> 0:37:44.130
<v Speaker 2>like I'm back six months later, and so I was

0:37:44.170 --> 0:37:48.330
<v Speaker 2>just sort of like getting on with it, and maybe

0:37:48.370 --> 0:37:52.730
<v Speaker 2>even only a few weeks later. There's another incident where

0:37:53.370 --> 0:37:56.890
<v Speaker 2>we meet up on a Thursday night for drinks, it was,

0:37:56.930 --> 0:37:59.850
<v Speaker 2>but at this time it was just me, Tom, his brother,

0:37:59.930 --> 0:38:01.850
<v Speaker 2>and our other friend and they were just having a

0:38:01.930 --> 0:38:04.290
<v Speaker 2>drink after work and I we'd to meet them and

0:38:04.490 --> 0:38:07.570
<v Speaker 2>you know, super chill. It got to about like nineteen

0:38:07.610 --> 0:38:09.370
<v Speaker 2>o'clock and I was like, all right, I'm going to go,

0:38:09.490 --> 0:38:12.050
<v Speaker 2>and he's like, yep, love you. I'm going to the

0:38:12.410 --> 0:38:15.090
<v Speaker 2>next train home. You know, I'll finish my beer and

0:38:15.090 --> 0:38:18.330
<v Speaker 2>me and the boys be home soon. Then at about midnight,

0:38:18.490 --> 0:38:20.970
<v Speaker 2>I woke up, so I remember going to sleep thinking,

0:38:21.610 --> 0:38:24.170
<v Speaker 2>but I hope he's home soon, because it's definitely been

0:38:24.210 --> 0:38:27.410
<v Speaker 2>longer than like an hour at this point. But it's

0:38:27.410 --> 0:38:29.370
<v Speaker 2>a Thursday night, so I really wasn't expecting him to

0:38:29.370 --> 0:38:31.530
<v Speaker 2>be home that late. And then I woke up at

0:38:31.530 --> 0:38:33.970
<v Speaker 2>about midnight to the sound of the boys coming home

0:38:34.410 --> 0:38:35.970
<v Speaker 2>and they'd gone around.

0:38:35.730 --> 0:38:37.410
<v Speaker 3>The side of the house. So I was sort of

0:38:37.450 --> 0:38:39.010
<v Speaker 3>like woke up and I was waiting.

0:38:38.690 --> 0:38:42.890
<v Speaker 2>For Tom to come through the door, and when he didn't,

0:38:43.010 --> 0:38:45.610
<v Speaker 2>I got up and I went outside into the living

0:38:45.650 --> 0:38:49.050
<v Speaker 2>room and all who was sitting there was his brother

0:38:49.650 --> 0:38:52.250
<v Speaker 2>and our other friend, and they sort of looked at me,

0:38:52.330 --> 0:38:54.530
<v Speaker 2>and I looked at them, and I was like, oh,

0:38:54.530 --> 0:38:56.490
<v Speaker 2>where's Tom And.

0:38:56.450 --> 0:39:00.330
<v Speaker 3>They were like, oh, he left not long after you.

0:39:01.090 --> 0:39:01.850
<v Speaker 3>Is he not home.

0:39:03.570 --> 0:39:08.010
<v Speaker 2>I tried to call Tom, his phone.

0:39:07.770 --> 0:39:11.850
<v Speaker 3>Wasn't going through, was completely off. So I was freaking out,

0:39:11.890 --> 0:39:15.090
<v Speaker 3>like more so than the other night. I was absolutely

0:39:15.130 --> 0:39:15.650
<v Speaker 3>freaking out.

0:39:15.690 --> 0:39:18.050
<v Speaker 2>And I said to them, I was like, I'm gonna

0:39:18.250 --> 0:39:21.770
<v Speaker 2>like his car's at the train station, like maybe he's

0:39:22.090 --> 0:39:24.930
<v Speaker 2>fallen asleep at his car or had too much to

0:39:25.050 --> 0:39:27.570
<v Speaker 2>drink and then decided to take a nap before you know,

0:39:27.570 --> 0:39:30.570
<v Speaker 2>he could drive, or maybe he's crashed, like I don't know.

0:39:30.850 --> 0:39:32.610
<v Speaker 3>And I was freaking out.

0:39:32.450 --> 0:39:34.330
<v Speaker 2>And so they were like, well, we can drive you

0:39:34.370 --> 0:39:38.250
<v Speaker 2>and I was like, no, I'll drive. And so eventually

0:39:38.290 --> 0:39:40.290
<v Speaker 2>I'd got in the car and started driving to the

0:39:40.330 --> 0:39:42.730
<v Speaker 2>train station. At this point, it's you know, almost one

0:39:42.730 --> 0:39:48.330
<v Speaker 2>in the morning, and he finally, guess his phone turned

0:39:48.330 --> 0:39:52.450
<v Speaker 2>on and he called me and he was like, I'm sorry,

0:39:52.490 --> 0:39:55.930
<v Speaker 2>I bumped into Pat from work. We're having a couple

0:39:55.970 --> 0:39:56.250
<v Speaker 2>of beers.

0:39:56.250 --> 0:39:58.450
<v Speaker 3>I'm in the city. I'll uber home now.

0:39:59.050 --> 0:40:01.210
<v Speaker 2>I went back home and got into bed again, and

0:40:01.410 --> 0:40:03.290
<v Speaker 2>I couldn't sleep because I was just waiting for him

0:40:03.290 --> 0:40:05.970
<v Speaker 2>to come home and he just didn't come home again

0:40:06.010 --> 0:40:08.050
<v Speaker 2>for an hour, and every time I went to go

0:40:08.130 --> 0:40:10.770
<v Speaker 2>call him to chick rears, it's like his phone was

0:40:10.810 --> 0:40:11.530
<v Speaker 2>turned off again.

0:40:12.130 --> 0:40:15.850
<v Speaker 3>And then eventually again it turned on and he called

0:40:15.890 --> 0:40:17.650
<v Speaker 3>me and he was like, sorry, sorry, I'm in the

0:40:17.730 --> 0:40:20.850
<v Speaker 3>uber now I'm coming through and he said this area

0:40:21.010 --> 0:40:24.330
<v Speaker 3>and I immediately clicked and I was like, well, you

0:40:24.330 --> 0:40:26.370
<v Speaker 3>wouldn't go through that area if you were coming from

0:40:26.370 --> 0:40:29.050
<v Speaker 3>the city though, and then he was like, oh, I

0:40:29.050 --> 0:40:29.370
<v Speaker 3>don't know.

0:40:29.410 --> 0:40:31.930
<v Speaker 2>They must have just gone that way and I was

0:40:32.010 --> 0:40:35.730
<v Speaker 2>like okay, And in my head, I was like, he's

0:40:35.770 --> 0:40:36.770
<v Speaker 2>not coming from the city.

0:40:36.810 --> 0:40:39.690
<v Speaker 3>He's coming from somewhere else. He's coming from like a

0:40:39.770 --> 0:40:41.570
<v Speaker 3>girl's place. This isn't on.

0:40:42.050 --> 0:40:44.730
<v Speaker 2>So when he got home, he walks in and he

0:40:44.730 --> 0:40:47.370
<v Speaker 2>can't even look at me and hit it straight for

0:40:47.450 --> 0:40:48.970
<v Speaker 2>the shower and we had an on sweet and I

0:40:49.090 --> 0:40:51.090
<v Speaker 2>was like, give me your phone and I was like,

0:40:51.090 --> 0:40:53.530
<v Speaker 2>I want to see your uber. He was like, no,

0:40:53.930 --> 0:40:56.410
<v Speaker 2>I'm not giving you my phone. And I was like,

0:40:57.250 --> 0:40:59.930
<v Speaker 2>if you're not lying about where you came from, then

0:40:59.970 --> 0:41:02.250
<v Speaker 2>you can show me your uber. And I was like,

0:41:02.290 --> 0:41:04.370
<v Speaker 2>where did you uber from? And he was like, I

0:41:04.450 --> 0:41:07.130
<v Speaker 2>ubered from the city. I told you, And I was like, no,

0:41:07.570 --> 0:41:08.570
<v Speaker 2>I don't believe you.

0:41:08.610 --> 0:41:09.130
<v Speaker 3>I'm sorry.

0:41:09.330 --> 0:41:11.570
<v Speaker 2>Can you just show me if you're really telling the truth?

0:41:11.810 --> 0:41:14.130
<v Speaker 2>Can show me your uber ride? And I was like,

0:41:14.170 --> 0:41:16.290
<v Speaker 2>this is is an ending up and he was like fine.

0:41:16.730 --> 0:41:18.450
<v Speaker 2>He gave me his phone and I looked at it

0:41:18.890 --> 0:41:22.490
<v Speaker 2>and it was from a random suburb, not the city,

0:41:23.010 --> 0:41:24.890
<v Speaker 2>and he was like, we ended up going back to

0:41:25.450 --> 0:41:26.250
<v Speaker 2>Pat's house.

0:41:26.810 --> 0:41:28.130
<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I just didn't mention it.

0:41:28.850 --> 0:41:31.450
<v Speaker 2>And I was like, Pat is in his mid forties,

0:41:31.490 --> 0:41:34.210
<v Speaker 2>he's married with three kids. You're not going back to

0:41:34.250 --> 0:41:37.890
<v Speaker 2>his for kick ons on a Thursday. That just is

0:41:37.930 --> 0:41:41.330
<v Speaker 2>not happening. And he just like looked at me in

0:41:41.330 --> 0:41:43.370
<v Speaker 2>the eyes and he was like, I'm not lying to you.

0:41:43.930 --> 0:41:46.810
<v Speaker 2>And it's funny because he's done this before. And I

0:41:46.890 --> 0:41:51.010
<v Speaker 2>just remember thinking you were so lying, like it's so obvious,

0:41:51.090 --> 0:41:54.290
<v Speaker 2>like just such a terrible liar. And he just couldn't

0:41:54.290 --> 0:41:55.970
<v Speaker 2>even believe his own lies. I don't think at that

0:41:56.010 --> 0:41:58.490
<v Speaker 2>point he was like I'm not lying to you. And

0:41:58.530 --> 0:42:01.410
<v Speaker 2>I was like, yes, you are, Like you are lying

0:42:01.410 --> 0:42:03.170
<v Speaker 2>to me and there's just no doubt in my mind

0:42:03.770 --> 0:42:06.970
<v Speaker 2>and he was like I'm not. And then yeah, I

0:42:07.010 --> 0:42:09.650
<v Speaker 2>went to sleep and I made a decision in that moment,

0:42:09.690 --> 0:42:12.410
<v Speaker 2>I was like, I don't care what I have to do.

0:42:13.010 --> 0:42:15.210
<v Speaker 3>I'm getting out of this situation.

0:42:16.210 --> 0:42:18.770
<v Speaker 1>But it wasn't that easy. Well, Molly knew she wanted

0:42:18.810 --> 0:42:21.610
<v Speaker 1>to get out. She literally didn't have anywhere else to go,

0:42:22.330 --> 0:42:24.210
<v Speaker 1>and to get further in the way of her finding

0:42:24.250 --> 0:42:27.090
<v Speaker 1>somewhere else and upending her whole life, she was booked

0:42:27.090 --> 0:42:30.610
<v Speaker 1>in for a hip reconstruction back in New Zealand. Life

0:42:30.610 --> 0:42:33.250
<v Speaker 1>and timing right to absolute bitches.

0:42:33.850 --> 0:42:38.170
<v Speaker 2>When I came back, I was on crutches, couldn't move,

0:42:38.210 --> 0:42:41.210
<v Speaker 2>couldn't go to the bathroom or the shower by myself.

0:42:41.930 --> 0:42:45.130
<v Speaker 3>So I was in a very very vulnerable position.

0:42:45.210 --> 0:42:48.210
<v Speaker 2>I was had to be on crutches for I think

0:42:48.370 --> 0:42:52.730
<v Speaker 2>three months, three to six months, and about a week

0:42:52.890 --> 0:42:55.290
<v Speaker 2>after I got home, literally not even a week, I

0:42:55.290 --> 0:42:56.770
<v Speaker 2>don't think. I think he picked me up from the

0:42:56.810 --> 0:43:00.970
<v Speaker 2>airport on the Sunday. The following Saturday, it was Sophie's birthday,

0:43:01.730 --> 0:43:05.330
<v Speaker 2>and so she had invited us to go to out

0:43:05.410 --> 0:43:07.930
<v Speaker 2>to a bar for her birthday, you know, with her family,

0:43:08.570 --> 0:43:10.530
<v Speaker 2>her partner and few of her friends.

0:43:11.730 --> 0:43:11.970
<v Speaker 3>Both.

0:43:12.010 --> 0:43:15.330
<v Speaker 2>You know, you got ready and we went, and you know,

0:43:15.370 --> 0:43:18.050
<v Speaker 2>it was a really nice night. Tom was actually being

0:43:18.090 --> 0:43:21.370
<v Speaker 2>really caring, and you know, he's making sure I've got

0:43:21.370 --> 0:43:24.490
<v Speaker 2>everything I needed. And she kept being like, oh, let

0:43:24.530 --> 0:43:26.770
<v Speaker 2>my dad get you a drink. Don't pay for your drinks,

0:43:26.810 --> 0:43:29.730
<v Speaker 2>and da da da, and I remember her saying like,

0:43:29.770 --> 0:43:31.810
<v Speaker 2>I'm so so mad that you came.

0:43:31.890 --> 0:43:33.050
<v Speaker 3>I'm so glad that you're here.

0:43:33.810 --> 0:43:37.690
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I obviously because I was on crutches, I

0:43:37.690 --> 0:43:39.250
<v Speaker 2>couldn't go out or anything, and they all wanted to

0:43:39.330 --> 0:43:42.650
<v Speaker 2>go out into town and into the city, and so

0:43:42.690 --> 0:43:44.330
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, I'm just going to go home.

0:43:44.370 --> 0:43:48.290
<v Speaker 2>And Tom walked me to the uber, you know, said

0:43:48.330 --> 0:43:51.050
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm not gonna have a late one, love you,

0:43:51.050 --> 0:43:53.650
<v Speaker 2>you know, it was all good, and just put me

0:43:53.650 --> 0:43:57.250
<v Speaker 2>in the Uber and I went home. Of course, that

0:43:57.410 --> 0:44:01.090
<v Speaker 2>same night I did not hear from him, went home,

0:44:01.130 --> 0:44:04.570
<v Speaker 2>went to bed, and woke up around like three or

0:44:04.610 --> 0:44:09.730
<v Speaker 2>four am. Nothing, couldn't get hold of him. Phone was

0:44:09.730 --> 0:44:15.490
<v Speaker 2>off again, and I just was like, you are kidding.

0:44:15.690 --> 0:44:18.810
<v Speaker 3>I've just had surgery. I can't do anything on my

0:44:18.850 --> 0:44:19.770
<v Speaker 3>own litt alone.

0:44:20.090 --> 0:44:22.810
<v Speaker 2>I've already got enough on my plate and he can't

0:44:22.810 --> 0:44:25.970
<v Speaker 2>even come home to me, Like this is a millionth

0:44:26.090 --> 0:44:29.930
<v Speaker 2>time that this has happened, and I'm just so I can't.

0:44:29.570 --> 0:44:30.250
<v Speaker 3>Do it anymore.

0:44:30.970 --> 0:44:34.650
<v Speaker 2>So he finally comes home at seven am that morning,

0:44:35.530 --> 0:44:37.570
<v Speaker 2>and he can't tell me where he is. And I

0:44:37.650 --> 0:44:40.290
<v Speaker 2>have actually messaged Sophia quite a few times at this point,

0:44:40.330 --> 0:44:42.370
<v Speaker 2>you know, okay, have you seen him?

0:44:43.090 --> 0:44:44.130
<v Speaker 3>Yeah? And nothing.

0:44:44.570 --> 0:44:47.610
<v Speaker 2>She messaged me back the next morning saying, sorry, we

0:44:47.650 --> 0:44:49.890
<v Speaker 2>came home at this time, not sure where he is.

0:44:50.610 --> 0:44:54.530
<v Speaker 2>When he came home, I just got up and I

0:44:54.570 --> 0:44:56.930
<v Speaker 2>didn't talk to him for the whole day. We went

0:44:56.970 --> 0:45:00.090
<v Speaker 2>to our brien's birthday and he was trying to help

0:45:00.090 --> 0:45:01.810
<v Speaker 2>me with my crutches and everything, and I was like,

0:45:02.010 --> 0:45:05.450
<v Speaker 2>don't help me, and then he didn't talk to me

0:45:05.570 --> 0:45:08.010
<v Speaker 2>for the rest of the day. He went to bed

0:45:08.090 --> 0:45:09.610
<v Speaker 2>really early that night because he.

0:45:09.570 --> 0:45:10.690
<v Speaker 3>Was hungover and tired.

0:45:10.770 --> 0:45:13.530
<v Speaker 2>And the next day it was a Monday, and he

0:45:13.570 --> 0:45:16.090
<v Speaker 2>got up super early and went to work and.

0:45:16.210 --> 0:45:19.650
<v Speaker 3>Didn't say goodbye or anything. I think he knew what

0:45:19.930 --> 0:45:21.290
<v Speaker 3>I was thinking and what was coming.

0:45:22.130 --> 0:45:25.250
<v Speaker 2>His brother had just moved into a place down the road,

0:45:25.690 --> 0:45:27.410
<v Speaker 2>and I knew they had a sphere room, so it

0:45:27.450 --> 0:45:29.890
<v Speaker 2>was kind of like my perfect opportunity to be like,

0:45:30.450 --> 0:45:34.210
<v Speaker 2>you're out, you've got a place to go. I said, okay,

0:45:34.210 --> 0:45:36.170
<v Speaker 2>when you get home tonight. We should have a talk.

0:45:36.450 --> 0:45:39.170
<v Speaker 2>And then he says, I'm not actually going to come home.

0:45:39.210 --> 0:45:42.570
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to stay at his brother's place. And I

0:45:42.650 --> 0:45:45.650
<v Speaker 2>was like, I really think we need to have a talk,

0:45:45.810 --> 0:45:49.370
<v Speaker 2>like I really appreciate if you came home, and he

0:45:49.530 --> 0:45:52.930
<v Speaker 2>was like no, like I'm not I'm not coming home.

0:45:54.010 --> 0:45:56.890
<v Speaker 2>And so I called him after he finished work. He

0:45:56.930 --> 0:45:59.490
<v Speaker 2>was on his way to his brothers and I just said,

0:46:00.130 --> 0:46:02.370
<v Speaker 2>you know the conversation that we're going to have, like

0:46:02.410 --> 0:46:04.410
<v Speaker 2>I just need you to come home because.

0:46:04.210 --> 0:46:08.290
<v Speaker 3>I cannot do this over the phone again. You cannot.

0:46:08.290 --> 0:46:10.410
<v Speaker 2>This is just cruel at this point, Like you know

0:46:10.770 --> 0:46:13.650
<v Speaker 2>how unhappy I I've been like a shell of myself

0:46:14.090 --> 0:46:18.050
<v Speaker 2>the last few weeks months. I can't go one more second.

0:46:18.130 --> 0:46:21.090
<v Speaker 2>Like that was my final straw. He just kept saying

0:46:21.090 --> 0:46:23.730
<v Speaker 2>that we're not breaking up, we're not breaking up, and

0:46:23.770 --> 0:46:26.330
<v Speaker 2>I was like, you've left me no choice and I

0:46:26.370 --> 0:46:28.450
<v Speaker 2>was like, give me one black reason to stay with

0:46:28.490 --> 0:46:31.730
<v Speaker 2>you and that he just said nothing, And I was like,

0:46:32.410 --> 0:46:35.770
<v Speaker 2>if you can't come home, then you know that's on you.

0:46:35.850 --> 0:46:38.090
<v Speaker 3>But I don't. I'm done. I'm so done.

0:46:38.170 --> 0:46:42.250
<v Speaker 2>Now he went silent and I hung up. I was

0:46:42.650 --> 0:46:46.850
<v Speaker 2>so broken, so sad. This person I loved so much

0:46:46.930 --> 0:46:50.530
<v Speaker 2>and was supposed to starting our life together over here

0:46:50.690 --> 0:46:54.530
<v Speaker 2>was supposed to be you know, the beginning of something

0:46:54.850 --> 0:46:58.010
<v Speaker 2>like a new chapter, and it's just all gone to

0:46:58.090 --> 0:47:02.610
<v Speaker 2>shit really quickly. Yeah, And I was, yeah, a shell

0:47:02.650 --> 0:47:05.850
<v Speaker 2>of myself. And the next night I had some my

0:47:05.850 --> 0:47:08.930
<v Speaker 2>friends over and he came over to click some stuff

0:47:08.930 --> 0:47:11.930
<v Speaker 2>and I hadn't seen him in person yet, and I

0:47:12.010 --> 0:47:13.810
<v Speaker 2>went into our bedroom and he was standing in our

0:47:14.010 --> 0:47:16.050
<v Speaker 2>wardrobe and he was like, oh, I'm just grabbing some

0:47:16.130 --> 0:47:18.810
<v Speaker 2>things to stay my brother's for a couple more nights.

0:47:19.410 --> 0:47:22.850
<v Speaker 3>And I was like a couple more nights, Like what

0:47:22.890 --> 0:47:23.410
<v Speaker 3>do you mean?

0:47:23.650 --> 0:47:27.170
<v Speaker 2>And he was like, well, I'm just going to stay

0:47:27.170 --> 0:47:28.970
<v Speaker 2>there for a couple more nights. And I was like

0:47:29.690 --> 0:47:32.490
<v Speaker 2>I don't think you understand. I've broken up with you,

0:47:32.610 --> 0:47:35.730
<v Speaker 2>Like this is it? And then he like sat on

0:47:35.770 --> 0:47:38.330
<v Speaker 2>the beard and he was like, is this what you

0:47:38.370 --> 0:47:40.970
<v Speaker 2>really want? And I was like yes, like this is

0:47:41.370 --> 0:47:43.610
<v Speaker 2>obviously the situation. None of this is what I want,

0:47:43.930 --> 0:47:47.010
<v Speaker 2>but like I can't do it anymore. And then he

0:47:47.130 --> 0:47:48.010
<v Speaker 2>was like okay.

0:47:48.250 --> 0:47:50.450
<v Speaker 3>And you know, all of our stuff at that point,

0:47:50.610 --> 0:47:52.330
<v Speaker 3>everything's tied up. We've got a car together.

0:47:52.370 --> 0:47:54.890
<v Speaker 2>We've got beard, like all of our furniture everything, and

0:47:55.890 --> 0:47:58.970
<v Speaker 2>you know, his car. He loved his car, and I

0:47:59.050 --> 0:48:01.210
<v Speaker 2>was like, you have the car. He was like, you

0:48:01.210 --> 0:48:03.530
<v Speaker 2>have the bed, all the camping stuff, all the other

0:48:03.570 --> 0:48:07.810
<v Speaker 2>stuff sought out. We'll just divvy it up. And yeah,

0:48:08.050 --> 0:48:11.290
<v Speaker 2>that was the start of what felt like.

0:48:12.930 --> 0:48:13.410
<v Speaker 3>Divorce.

0:48:16.330 --> 0:48:19.290
<v Speaker 2>The first few weeks were fine, and then all of

0:48:19.330 --> 0:48:22.570
<v Speaker 2>a sudden, he messages me out of the blue, have

0:48:22.650 --> 0:48:23.690
<v Speaker 2>you got a new beard yet?

0:48:23.850 --> 0:48:26.250
<v Speaker 3>That's my beard and I need it. And I just.

0:48:26.250 --> 0:48:29.210
<v Speaker 2>Kept playing super nice, and because I knew he wanted

0:48:29.170 --> 0:48:32.650
<v Speaker 2>to reaction, I just kept saying, sure, yep, I'll buy

0:48:32.650 --> 0:48:35.210
<v Speaker 2>a new beard, no worries, not that you've already taken

0:48:35.290 --> 0:48:38.250
<v Speaker 2>the car and the bed, and not to mention you know,

0:48:38.570 --> 0:48:41.450
<v Speaker 2>I moved here for your job and you've literally left

0:48:41.490 --> 0:48:42.450
<v Speaker 2>me with like nothing.

0:48:43.250 --> 0:48:47.090
<v Speaker 3>Two months are probably one of the hardest times of

0:48:47.130 --> 0:48:47.570
<v Speaker 3>my life.

0:48:47.650 --> 0:48:50.890
<v Speaker 2>Like I was a absolute shell, like not being able

0:48:50.930 --> 0:48:54.210
<v Speaker 2>to walk, still being in pain, but then just being

0:48:54.490 --> 0:48:59.330
<v Speaker 2>so heartbroken, like I didn't know should I go home,

0:48:59.650 --> 0:49:01.930
<v Speaker 2>Like all of me was saying go home, go home,

0:49:01.970 --> 0:49:03.650
<v Speaker 2>but then the other part of me was saying, like

0:49:03.690 --> 0:49:06.050
<v Speaker 2>I really love my job, you know, I made all

0:49:06.050 --> 0:49:09.090
<v Speaker 2>these friends here. I also just was so worried about

0:49:09.130 --> 0:49:11.330
<v Speaker 2>giving up, and like what that looks like? I felt

0:49:11.330 --> 0:49:15.170
<v Speaker 2>like such a failure, Like I've moved countries and everything's

0:49:15.210 --> 0:49:19.050
<v Speaker 2>gone to shit and I've blacked the relationship has failed.

0:49:19.090 --> 0:49:22.530
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, it was just awful, like really really awful time.

0:49:23.170 --> 0:49:26.770
<v Speaker 2>I had no proof that he had cheated on me again,

0:49:27.370 --> 0:49:30.330
<v Speaker 2>but I knew in my cart that he had, but

0:49:30.450 --> 0:49:33.170
<v Speaker 2>I just had nothing, like I couldn't say you cheated

0:49:33.210 --> 0:49:36.250
<v Speaker 2>on me, or I couldn't go forward going I don't

0:49:36.250 --> 0:49:38.490
<v Speaker 2>love this person anymore because they did this to me.

0:49:38.850 --> 0:49:40.210
<v Speaker 3>You know. It was just so hard.

0:49:40.690 --> 0:49:43.770
<v Speaker 1>So here she was, after everything, all the trust she'd

0:49:43.770 --> 0:49:46.770
<v Speaker 1>given him and all the chances, it still ended up

0:49:46.810 --> 0:49:49.410
<v Speaker 1>this way. So as best she could, she tried to

0:49:49.450 --> 0:49:52.010
<v Speaker 1>heal the hurt and move on with her life. What

0:49:52.170 --> 0:49:54.690
<v Speaker 1>she needed was a good old fashioned girls trip with

0:49:54.770 --> 0:49:56.410
<v Speaker 1>no boys and no drama.

0:49:57.170 --> 0:50:00.930
<v Speaker 2>I went down South get away. It was like a

0:50:00.970 --> 0:50:03.330
<v Speaker 2>long weekend. It was just a girl's trip. We were

0:50:03.330 --> 0:50:07.930
<v Speaker 2>going surfing. And that week he had messaged me. I'd

0:50:07.930 --> 0:50:09.730
<v Speaker 2>actually told him in Simma, can you stop?

0:50:10.330 --> 0:50:11.410
<v Speaker 3>It's time? I can't need it.

0:50:11.450 --> 0:50:15.770
<v Speaker 2>A really needs space, And I said let's just cut

0:50:15.850 --> 0:50:20.610
<v Speaker 2>Combs New Year's rolls around and he had texted me

0:50:20.890 --> 0:50:24.010
<v Speaker 2>Happy New Year, Molly, do you still have our gray

0:50:24.170 --> 0:50:28.010
<v Speaker 2>camping mattress? I was already annoyed that he even messaged

0:50:28.010 --> 0:50:31.010
<v Speaker 2>me to begin with, because he had messaged one of

0:50:31.050 --> 0:50:33.090
<v Speaker 2>my friends that who we used to live together with

0:50:33.130 --> 0:50:36.010
<v Speaker 2>and said, do you know if Molly still has this

0:50:36.090 --> 0:50:38.730
<v Speaker 2>gray mattress? And my friend was like, well, yeah, it's

0:50:38.770 --> 0:50:41.010
<v Speaker 2>at our place, but I can drop it round.

0:50:41.050 --> 0:50:43.010
<v Speaker 3>You don't need to message her for it. But of

0:50:43.010 --> 0:50:44.370
<v Speaker 3>course he messages.

0:50:43.930 --> 0:50:47.250
<v Speaker 2>Me and I said, yeah, I'll leave it outside and

0:50:47.290 --> 0:50:48.970
<v Speaker 2>he was like cool, sweet, thanks.

0:50:49.210 --> 0:50:51.170
<v Speaker 3>So I knew that he was going away that weekend

0:50:51.210 --> 0:50:51.570
<v Speaker 3>as well.

0:50:52.090 --> 0:50:54.810
<v Speaker 2>So fast forward to the weekend away and we get

0:50:54.890 --> 0:50:56.810
<v Speaker 2>up really early on the Saturday morning to go check

0:50:56.810 --> 0:51:01.570
<v Speaker 2>the surf and I was literally just looking out to

0:51:01.610 --> 0:51:05.170
<v Speaker 2>the surf and I see his car in the corner

0:51:05.170 --> 0:51:07.170
<v Speaker 2>of my eye and I was like, to the girls,

0:51:07.730 --> 0:51:11.570
<v Speaker 2>oh God, it's Tom. And it was just so busy

0:51:11.810 --> 0:51:15.930
<v Speaker 2>because we were in a random car park, random surf break.

0:51:16.490 --> 0:51:19.090
<v Speaker 2>There's so many other places he could have been. And

0:51:19.130 --> 0:51:23.010
<v Speaker 2>then I see the side passenger door open and I

0:51:23.050 --> 0:51:28.530
<v Speaker 2>see Sophie get out and my stomach just dropped, and

0:51:28.530 --> 0:51:31.290
<v Speaker 2>I was so confused, and I was like, to the

0:51:31.330 --> 0:51:33.330
<v Speaker 2>girl's wait, why is Sophie here?

0:51:34.090 --> 0:51:36.650
<v Speaker 3>I'm so confused. This is a work trip.

0:51:37.570 --> 0:51:41.050
<v Speaker 2>And I was really confused because it had only been

0:51:41.610 --> 0:51:44.610
<v Speaker 2>a week or so before that that Sophie had been

0:51:44.650 --> 0:51:48.610
<v Speaker 2>in Japan with her partner. So they had been away

0:51:48.970 --> 0:51:52.290
<v Speaker 2>over like the New Year's period or whatever Christmas, and

0:51:53.050 --> 0:51:55.650
<v Speaker 2>so that was the last thing I saw sort of

0:51:55.690 --> 0:51:58.610
<v Speaker 2>on social media of her, and I had missage how

0:51:58.650 --> 0:52:00.250
<v Speaker 2>to be like, you know, let me know when you're back,

0:52:00.530 --> 0:52:02.930
<v Speaker 2>you can meet up black ketch up, and you know,

0:52:02.970 --> 0:52:04.090
<v Speaker 2>she had said to me, you.

0:52:04.010 --> 0:52:06.650
<v Speaker 3>Know, she's sorry to hear about Tom and I. So

0:52:06.810 --> 0:52:10.290
<v Speaker 3>I was really confused because I was like, she was

0:52:10.330 --> 0:52:13.530
<v Speaker 3>just away with her partner, What on earth is going on.

0:52:14.010 --> 0:52:15.890
<v Speaker 2>I like sort of walked over to them and I

0:52:15.970 --> 0:52:17.930
<v Speaker 2>was like hey, and she sort of came up and

0:52:17.970 --> 0:52:20.210
<v Speaker 2>gave me a hug, and I was like, what's going on?

0:52:20.290 --> 0:52:23.250
<v Speaker 2>What are you guys doing down here? And then Tom

0:52:23.330 --> 0:52:24.970
<v Speaker 2>was like, oh, you just came down for the night,

0:52:25.930 --> 0:52:29.050
<v Speaker 2>just camping, you know. I like saw like my gray

0:52:29.050 --> 0:52:33.010
<v Speaker 2>mattress in the back of the car. I was like,

0:52:33.810 --> 0:52:39.250
<v Speaker 2>are you guys here together, and he just looked at

0:52:39.250 --> 0:52:42.650
<v Speaker 2>me and I was like, are you guys together now?

0:52:43.290 --> 0:52:49.410
<v Speaker 2>And he was just like, yeah, we are. And I

0:52:49.530 --> 0:52:54.050
<v Speaker 2>was just in shock. I didn't even say anything. I

0:52:54.130 --> 0:52:57.170
<v Speaker 2>just looked at him and then walked away and went

0:52:57.210 --> 0:52:58.930
<v Speaker 2>to the girls, and I was like, we've got to go,

0:52:59.450 --> 0:53:02.970
<v Speaker 2>and I went all faint and limp, and I was

0:53:03.050 --> 0:53:07.530
<v Speaker 2>just yeah, I was beside myself. I was so so

0:53:07.730 --> 0:53:11.210
<v Speaker 2>upset and just so confused. My friend drove me back

0:53:11.250 --> 0:53:15.970
<v Speaker 2>to her and I put flight home for a few days,

0:53:15.970 --> 0:53:18.570
<v Speaker 2>back to New Zealand. I'm done, like I'm not. I

0:53:18.690 --> 0:53:21.130
<v Speaker 2>can't do this, Like I'm not strong enough to handle

0:53:21.130 --> 0:53:22.610
<v Speaker 2>this on my own. I need to go home and

0:53:22.650 --> 0:53:25.570
<v Speaker 2>be with my friends and my family, and I don't

0:53:25.610 --> 0:53:30.650
<v Speaker 2>know if I'll ever come back. It all makes sense now,

0:53:31.050 --> 0:53:35.530
<v Speaker 2>like it all just completely makes sense. The uber situation

0:53:35.810 --> 0:53:39.050
<v Speaker 2>makes so much more sense because it was from her area.

0:53:39.170 --> 0:53:41.770
<v Speaker 2>Like of course, it all made sense. Why he never

0:53:41.810 --> 0:53:43.570
<v Speaker 2>told me about the first one. I think he just

0:53:43.610 --> 0:53:46.690
<v Speaker 2>never even really felt proper guilt about it. I think

0:53:46.690 --> 0:53:48.970
<v Speaker 2>he can just do that and sort of keep moving on.

0:53:49.810 --> 0:53:52.290
<v Speaker 3>I messaged him. It was a long message.

0:53:52.890 --> 0:53:55.970
<v Speaker 2>It was basically I knew something was up. I knew

0:53:55.970 --> 0:53:58.930
<v Speaker 2>you were cheating on me, and you deny and I denied,

0:53:59.330 --> 0:54:03.290
<v Speaker 2>and I never thought it'd be her. You stayed over

0:54:03.330 --> 0:54:06.970
<v Speaker 2>at her house when we were together. She was always there,

0:54:07.370 --> 0:54:10.890
<v Speaker 2>and I thought I had a friendship with this girl,

0:54:10.930 --> 0:54:15.210
<v Speaker 2>and I trusted you around her, and I trusted her

0:54:15.250 --> 0:54:17.450
<v Speaker 2>around you, and I just trusted both of you, and

0:54:17.930 --> 0:54:21.970
<v Speaker 2>this whole time, like it all makes sense that things

0:54:21.970 --> 0:54:24.090
<v Speaker 2>were going on, And of course I wanted to know,

0:54:24.290 --> 0:54:28.170
<v Speaker 2>like how long this had been going on for and when.

0:54:27.970 --> 0:54:31.170
<v Speaker 3>Did it start? But I also was just like, it

0:54:31.210 --> 0:54:32.890
<v Speaker 3>doesn't even matter at this point.

0:54:33.570 --> 0:54:37.250
<v Speaker 2>I didn't want to have any conversation with him.

0:54:37.290 --> 0:54:38.770
<v Speaker 3>I didn't need any closure from.

0:54:38.690 --> 0:54:41.410
<v Speaker 2>The situation because I just knew that whatever he told

0:54:41.490 --> 0:54:44.010
<v Speaker 2>me was just going to make him feel less guilty,

0:54:44.050 --> 0:54:46.290
<v Speaker 2>and it's also going to make he's going to spin

0:54:46.370 --> 0:54:48.250
<v Speaker 2>it however he wants to spin it and make it

0:54:48.330 --> 0:54:50.130
<v Speaker 2>sound better than what it was.

0:54:50.490 --> 0:54:52.010
<v Speaker 3>And how do I know that.

0:54:51.970 --> 0:54:55.610
<v Speaker 2>Anything he's saying is even the truth anyway, Like, let's

0:54:55.610 --> 0:54:57.730
<v Speaker 2>be real, he's not going to admit anything now.

0:54:58.210 --> 0:55:00.850
<v Speaker 3>I went home and back in New Zealand.

0:55:00.850 --> 0:55:03.130
<v Speaker 2>I went home for about like eight weeks or something,

0:55:03.730 --> 0:55:08.050
<v Speaker 2>and I was, yeah, lack a shallow myself. I was

0:55:08.650 --> 0:55:14.250
<v Speaker 2>not myself and just very lost and just so her.

0:55:14.290 --> 0:55:15.890
<v Speaker 3>I've only ever been.

0:55:15.890 --> 0:55:20.690
<v Speaker 2>So supportive and loyal, and I've never ever done anything

0:55:20.810 --> 0:55:23.450
<v Speaker 2>like that. So I just couldn't comprehend somebody doing that

0:55:24.050 --> 0:55:25.930
<v Speaker 2>to me and then in the same breath, you know,

0:55:26.010 --> 0:55:28.890
<v Speaker 2>coming home and saying you know how much they love

0:55:28.970 --> 0:55:33.130
<v Speaker 2>me and talking about the future and all that stuff,

0:55:33.170 --> 0:55:36.210
<v Speaker 2>and you know, I'd moved countries for this person, and

0:55:37.090 --> 0:55:47.410
<v Speaker 2>they just completely betrayed me. I was thinking about all

0:55:47.450 --> 0:55:51.850
<v Speaker 2>those times that we spent together on a Friday night

0:55:51.850 --> 0:55:55.130
<v Speaker 2>after work, every time we hung out outside of that

0:55:55.970 --> 0:56:00.410
<v Speaker 2>and you know, sat there and talked about our relationships.

0:56:00.610 --> 0:56:04.170
<v Speaker 2>She saw Tom and I together, and she knew how

0:56:04.250 --> 0:56:08.050
<v Speaker 2>much I cared for him, And to think that all

0:56:08.090 --> 0:56:12.970
<v Speaker 2>those times that we were together and chatting, and to

0:56:13.050 --> 0:56:15.530
<v Speaker 2>know that there was something deeper going on there and

0:56:16.450 --> 0:56:19.810
<v Speaker 2>that they had something going on and I just wasn't

0:56:19.810 --> 0:56:24.610
<v Speaker 2>privy to it. It's actually wild to me that two

0:56:24.650 --> 0:56:30.130
<v Speaker 2>people could be so nice to you and especially for her,

0:56:30.730 --> 0:56:35.530
<v Speaker 2>and then also go home with my boyfriend. My whole

0:56:35.810 --> 0:56:39.370
<v Speaker 2>thought process was, why wouldn't he want to break up?

0:56:39.850 --> 0:56:42.010
<v Speaker 2>I was the one, you know that was really I

0:56:42.130 --> 0:56:46.210
<v Speaker 2>wanted to walk away. I was willing. He had such

0:56:46.250 --> 0:56:48.370
<v Speaker 2>an easy out if they you know, if he loved

0:56:48.370 --> 0:56:51.010
<v Speaker 2>this girl and wanted to be with her, he had

0:56:51.050 --> 0:56:55.570
<v Speaker 2>the easiest out, because you know, I tried multiple occasions

0:56:55.610 --> 0:56:58.170
<v Speaker 2>to break up with him, but he was adamant that

0:56:58.290 --> 0:57:00.290
<v Speaker 2>he didn't want to break up. So that's what was

0:57:00.290 --> 0:57:04.210
<v Speaker 2>confusing me, is why weren't you willing to leave your

0:57:04.290 --> 0:57:07.610
<v Speaker 2>current partners for each other? And like, why weren't you

0:57:07.610 --> 0:57:09.610
<v Speaker 2>you know, like were they having these conversations.

0:57:09.650 --> 0:57:10.170
<v Speaker 3>I don't know.

0:57:10.730 --> 0:57:13.010
<v Speaker 2>I wouldn't be surprised if he'd told her, was telling

0:57:13.050 --> 0:57:15.210
<v Speaker 2>her now that he was the one that broke up

0:57:15.250 --> 0:57:20.330
<v Speaker 2>with me for her. I did reach out to Sophie afterwards.

0:57:20.730 --> 0:57:24.570
<v Speaker 2>I just sent her a message. I honestly wasn't even

0:57:24.570 --> 0:57:27.970
<v Speaker 2>going to bother calling or anything. I just said to her, like,

0:57:28.770 --> 0:57:33.170
<v Speaker 2>you know, I honestly just am so shocked and her

0:57:33.730 --> 0:57:37.130
<v Speaker 2>I thought we were friends and spoke to you about

0:57:37.290 --> 0:57:39.810
<v Speaker 2>being cheated on. What had it happened in New Zealand?

0:57:39.850 --> 0:57:43.450
<v Speaker 2>And to think all those times I'd been so welcoming

0:57:43.850 --> 0:57:49.090
<v Speaker 2>with you and trusted my boyfriend to stay at your parents' house.

0:57:49.770 --> 0:57:52.770
<v Speaker 2>I just was like I just can't believe it, and

0:57:53.650 --> 0:57:54.890
<v Speaker 2>just how could you do.

0:57:54.810 --> 0:57:56.210
<v Speaker 3>That to me? Basically?

0:57:57.130 --> 0:58:00.370
<v Speaker 2>And then I blocked her after that because I was like,

0:58:00.410 --> 0:58:02.210
<v Speaker 2>there's nothing like she could say to me either.

0:58:02.770 --> 0:58:04.730
<v Speaker 1>After spending a couple of months back at home with

0:58:04.770 --> 0:58:07.530
<v Speaker 1>her family trying to grapple with all of these questions,

0:58:07.570 --> 0:58:10.370
<v Speaker 1>Molly realized she didn't want to let this man defind

0:58:10.370 --> 0:58:13.650
<v Speaker 1>her life and her choices anymore. She loved Australia and

0:58:13.770 --> 0:58:16.090
<v Speaker 1>was making a life for herself there. She wanted to

0:58:16.130 --> 0:58:18.930
<v Speaker 1>prove to herself that not everything she did need it

0:58:19.010 --> 0:58:19.770
<v Speaker 1>to be about him.

0:58:20.330 --> 0:58:23.530
<v Speaker 2>I had to sort of continue to see them, like

0:58:24.130 --> 0:58:28.010
<v Speaker 2>he lives not far from me, and I would purposefully go,

0:58:28.250 --> 0:58:31.650
<v Speaker 2>you know, to the train station really early, or go

0:58:31.890 --> 0:58:34.370
<v Speaker 2>to the supermarket at different times that I knew that

0:58:34.450 --> 0:58:37.250
<v Speaker 2>he wouldn't be there. I remember one time I was

0:58:37.290 --> 0:58:39.610
<v Speaker 2>at yoga and us you know, my one time of

0:58:39.610 --> 0:58:42.610
<v Speaker 2>the day where I was just really being able to

0:58:42.690 --> 0:58:45.810
<v Speaker 2>just you know, relax and try and not think about.

0:58:45.490 --> 0:58:47.890
<v Speaker 3>This because it was just consuming me all the time.

0:58:48.930 --> 0:58:53.610
<v Speaker 2>And I was coming out of the yoga studio and

0:58:53.650 --> 0:58:56.850
<v Speaker 2>then of course I'm like waiting for the traffic to

0:58:56.890 --> 0:58:59.050
<v Speaker 2>go to pull out, and they walk right in front

0:58:59.050 --> 0:59:01.570
<v Speaker 2>of my car. They're on their way down to the beach.

0:59:01.650 --> 0:59:04.050
<v Speaker 2>And that was like the first time that I saw

0:59:04.050 --> 0:59:07.690
<v Speaker 2>them since I'd got back from New Zealand, and I

0:59:07.730 --> 0:59:10.250
<v Speaker 2>had already not been sleeping or eating or you know.

0:59:10.410 --> 0:59:15.210
<v Speaker 3>I was just so.

0:59:13.170 --> 0:59:17.370
<v Speaker 2>So sad, Like I'm as sad to think how it

0:59:17.490 --> 0:59:21.050
<v Speaker 2>was just the most horrible time. This was two years ago,

0:59:21.410 --> 0:59:24.930
<v Speaker 2>so beginning of twenty twenty three, all of this happened. Yeah,

0:59:24.930 --> 0:59:28.610
<v Speaker 2>they're still together to this day. You think time will

0:59:28.690 --> 0:59:32.410
<v Speaker 2>make things easier, and I guess it does, But whenever

0:59:32.450 --> 0:59:35.010
<v Speaker 2>I see them still, like it's like my whole body

0:59:35.090 --> 0:59:38.010
<v Speaker 2>just completely gives way and I just feel sick and

0:59:38.090 --> 0:59:39.570
<v Speaker 2>I can't eat for the rest of the day. Like

0:59:39.650 --> 0:59:42.850
<v Speaker 2>I just feel I just still feel that hurt, and

0:59:42.890 --> 0:59:48.650
<v Speaker 2>I don't feel like I can trust probably the same way.

0:59:48.650 --> 0:59:50.930
<v Speaker 2>And I did say that to him in my last

0:59:50.930 --> 0:59:55.050
<v Speaker 2>text they sent to him, was your actions have bigger implications,

0:59:55.090 --> 0:59:59.090
<v Speaker 2>Like it's not just about the hurt. I now will

0:59:59.090 --> 1:00:01.690
<v Speaker 2>never be able to perceive relationships the same way. I'll

1:00:01.730 --> 1:00:04.210
<v Speaker 2>never be able to trust the same way. Like I

1:00:04.290 --> 1:00:08.410
<v Speaker 2>was such a trustworthy person, never seeking guest anyone because

1:00:08.410 --> 1:00:11.690
<v Speaker 2>I just couldn't imagine ever doing that to somebody. So

1:00:12.610 --> 1:00:17.050
<v Speaker 2>now to like know that someone can be so loving

1:00:17.130 --> 1:00:20.450
<v Speaker 2>and such a good partner and all these things, and

1:00:20.490 --> 1:00:23.690
<v Speaker 2>then also in the same breath they can be doing

1:00:23.730 --> 1:00:26.490
<v Speaker 2>these other things whenever I do bump into them. Not

1:00:26.570 --> 1:00:30.130
<v Speaker 2>that we would ever say hello or anything like that,

1:00:30.250 --> 1:00:33.970
<v Speaker 2>but it literally happened last weekend down at the same place.

1:00:34.650 --> 1:00:39.650
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, the audacity of it though. For example, this

1:00:39.730 --> 1:00:41.770
<v Speaker 2>is two years on and I'm down at the same

1:00:41.810 --> 1:00:44.410
<v Speaker 2>place that I saw them the first time, and everything

1:00:44.490 --> 1:00:47.890
<v Speaker 2>unfolded and I was literally getting ready for a surf

1:00:48.010 --> 1:00:50.010
<v Speaker 2>and getting my board off the roof and I was

1:00:50.010 --> 1:00:51.610
<v Speaker 2>like on top of the roof and I look down

1:00:51.650 --> 1:00:56.130
<v Speaker 2>and I see Sophie and I my heart just dropped.

1:00:56.210 --> 1:00:58.690
<v Speaker 3>I was just like, oh my god, no, I'm be

1:00:58.810 --> 1:00:59.770
<v Speaker 3>doing this right now.

1:00:59.850 --> 1:01:02.570
<v Speaker 2>And then of course she looks up and sees me,

1:01:02.650 --> 1:01:05.890
<v Speaker 2>and then I see him walk over and put his

1:01:05.970 --> 1:01:08.770
<v Speaker 2>arm around her there you know, all the fictionate and

1:01:08.810 --> 1:01:09.530
<v Speaker 2>She's rubbing his.

1:01:09.530 --> 1:01:13.490
<v Speaker 3>Back and I was just like, oh God.

1:01:13.690 --> 1:01:16.490
<v Speaker 2>And then we all left and went to another beach

1:01:16.570 --> 1:01:20.090
<v Speaker 2>because I was I can't be here like around them,

1:01:20.130 --> 1:01:22.730
<v Speaker 2>and I went to another beach to escape them. And

1:01:23.450 --> 1:01:24.970
<v Speaker 2>when we got to the other beach was sort of

1:01:25.010 --> 1:01:27.650
<v Speaker 2>around the bay, and I was just I'd suited up

1:01:27.690 --> 1:01:29.250
<v Speaker 2>and I was ready to go out for a surf,

1:01:29.330 --> 1:01:32.970
<v Speaker 2>like finally after a couple breakdowns later, and I was

1:01:32.970 --> 1:01:34.770
<v Speaker 2>waiting for my sunblock to dry, and I look over

1:01:34.930 --> 1:01:37.770
<v Speaker 2>and they've just appeared on the beach next to us,

1:01:38.370 --> 1:01:41.650
<v Speaker 2>and they've obviously paddled around and they've come and they're

1:01:41.650 --> 1:01:44.130
<v Speaker 2>sitting down, and I was just like, you've got to

1:01:44.170 --> 1:01:46.210
<v Speaker 2>be kidding me, like and I.

1:01:46.090 --> 1:01:47.170
<v Speaker 3>Was just like, oh my god.

1:01:47.210 --> 1:01:49.090
<v Speaker 2>And then they had to walk past, and it was

1:01:49.210 --> 1:01:53.090
<v Speaker 2>just like, yeah, I don't think it'll ever get easier

1:01:53.170 --> 1:01:53.810
<v Speaker 2>to see them.

1:01:54.250 --> 1:01:57.170
<v Speaker 1>But in hindsight, even though she wished so many times

1:01:57.250 --> 1:02:00.330
<v Speaker 1>it didn't happen, the one thing Molly thinks did actually

1:02:00.330 --> 1:02:02.930
<v Speaker 1>make it easier was the fact that Tom had cheated

1:02:03.130 --> 1:02:04.450
<v Speaker 1>and lied about it before.

1:02:05.370 --> 1:02:08.930
<v Speaker 2>It would have been a lot harder for me because

1:02:08.970 --> 1:02:14.490
<v Speaker 2>I would have really felt a lot more pain, like

1:02:14.570 --> 1:02:17.330
<v Speaker 2>a lot more hurt and a lot more feelings were involved.

1:02:17.370 --> 1:02:20.490
<v Speaker 2>But I think because of the whole cheating that had

1:02:20.490 --> 1:02:24.650
<v Speaker 2>happened the first time, I just knew I probably wouldn't

1:02:24.690 --> 1:02:27.090
<v Speaker 2>have left the relationship when I did, like I would

1:02:27.090 --> 1:02:30.050
<v Speaker 2>have just stuck it out because I probably wouldn't have

1:02:30.690 --> 1:02:34.610
<v Speaker 2>clocked on as you know, as I did, but because

1:02:34.770 --> 1:02:37.890
<v Speaker 2>it had happened a time before, I just knew this

1:02:38.050 --> 1:02:40.250
<v Speaker 2>is all of my fears confirmed. That these people just

1:02:40.290 --> 1:02:43.930
<v Speaker 2>don't change and they'll continue to do that. I would

1:02:43.930 --> 1:02:46.610
<v Speaker 2>say that it took me at least like a year

1:02:46.770 --> 1:02:53.970
<v Speaker 2>to feel okay again mentally. And I think the first year,

1:02:54.290 --> 1:02:56.370
<v Speaker 2>you know, I went traveling and all these things, but

1:02:57.170 --> 1:02:59.330
<v Speaker 2>I still thought about it a lot, like it was

1:02:59.370 --> 1:03:02.250
<v Speaker 2>still a still upset me a lot. I was so

1:03:02.370 --> 1:03:06.010
<v Speaker 2>close to moving home, but at that point I'd sort

1:03:06.050 --> 1:03:07.970
<v Speaker 2>of made these friendships.

1:03:07.970 --> 1:03:09.850
<v Speaker 3>And I guess being single does that.

1:03:11.930 --> 1:03:14.610
<v Speaker 2>I feel like this last year, I think I've been

1:03:14.610 --> 1:03:17.330
<v Speaker 2>like the happiest I've ever felt, just on my own.

1:03:17.490 --> 1:03:20.930
<v Speaker 2>Just honestly, at the time, you feel like you just

1:03:21.010 --> 1:03:24.690
<v Speaker 2>cannot leave a situation because you feel like there is

1:03:24.770 --> 1:03:28.090
<v Speaker 2>just nothing else out there for you and you're going

1:03:28.170 --> 1:03:30.410
<v Speaker 2>to be so lost without them. But if I can

1:03:30.450 --> 1:03:34.210
<v Speaker 2>do it in another country away from my family and

1:03:34.570 --> 1:03:38.290
<v Speaker 2>not many friends here and nowhere to go and no

1:03:38.410 --> 1:03:41.530
<v Speaker 2>bed to sleep on, people can do it, And like

1:03:41.650 --> 1:03:45.570
<v Speaker 2>it's so hard, but it's so worth it to get

1:03:45.610 --> 1:03:45.890
<v Speaker 2>to this.

1:03:45.970 --> 1:03:49.890
<v Speaker 3>Point where you're just on your own. I feel like

1:03:49.970 --> 1:03:51.810
<v Speaker 3>I'm at a point where I'm so happy on my

1:03:51.890 --> 1:03:55.450
<v Speaker 3>own that I don't need anyone.

1:03:55.530 --> 1:03:59.170
<v Speaker 2>But if you know, someone comes along and it feels

1:03:59.210 --> 1:04:01.410
<v Speaker 2>like the right person, then one hundred percent.

1:04:01.570 --> 1:04:04.890
<v Speaker 3>But for now, I'm just I've got.

1:04:04.770 --> 1:04:07.930
<v Speaker 2>Some travel plans and I'm really excited to just go

1:04:07.970 --> 1:04:10.050
<v Speaker 2>and see more of the world on my own, do

1:04:10.170 --> 1:04:14.290
<v Speaker 2>some solo traveling, and I'm just super excited for all

1:04:14.330 --> 1:04:14.530
<v Speaker 2>of that.

1:04:14.730 --> 1:04:17.850
<v Speaker 3>And who knows who held me along the way, But yeah,

1:04:17.930 --> 1:04:20.850
<v Speaker 3>for now, I'm very very happy filling up my own cup.

1:04:21.330 --> 1:04:23.690
<v Speaker 2>I know that it might have changed the way that

1:04:24.010 --> 1:04:29.290
<v Speaker 2>I trust now, but I think that that's just because

1:04:29.290 --> 1:04:31.170
<v Speaker 2>I haven't met the right person yet.

1:04:47.890 --> 1:04:50.850
<v Speaker 1>Everyone Has an Ex is a Minti Media production and

1:04:50.890 --> 1:04:53.730
<v Speaker 1>proudly part of the Mum and mea network. It's written

1:04:53.810 --> 1:04:57.450
<v Speaker 1>and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.

1:04:57.730 --> 1:05:01.130
<v Speaker 1>If you like We've heard, support the podcast by hitting subscribe,

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1:05:11.090 --> 1:05:14.890
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1:05:14.970 --> 1:05:17.490
<v Speaker 1>dot com dot you with the word submission in the

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<v Speaker 1>subject field.

1:05:20.770 --> 1:05:20.810
<v Speaker 2>M