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Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mama Mea acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on we all know what they say. If

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Speaker 1: there are question marks or gut feelings early on need

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Speaker 1: a relationship, it's probably because it's not the right one.

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Speaker 1: Your match should be someone with whom you have no doubts.

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Speaker 1: It should be easy.

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Speaker 2: We were just such a strong couple. We were very loud,

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Speaker 2: extroverted couple. We had all the same things in common.

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Speaker 2: I did have so many of my friends say to me,

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Speaker 2: this is in game.

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Speaker 1: But sometimes even the best, strongest and happiest relationships can

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Speaker 1: carry secrets, some small and insignificant in the scheme of things,

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Speaker 1: but others, no matter how hard they've been hidden, once

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Speaker 1: out can destroy everything.

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Speaker 2: I like sort of walked over to them and I

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Speaker 2: was liked, And she came up and gave me a

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Speaker 2: hugin I was like, what's going on? I like, saw

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Speaker 2: my gray mattress in the back of the car. I

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Speaker 2: went all fat and blimp.

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Speaker 1: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ads.

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Speaker 1: Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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Speaker 1: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the

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Speaker 1: hearts of the very people who lived them. Molly was

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Speaker 1: nineteen when our story begins, living in New Zealand, a

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Speaker 1: year out of school. Where else would you meet a

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Speaker 1: guy but a music festival.

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Speaker 2: We sort of met on the day on the dance floor,

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Speaker 2: didn't really think much of it. And then I went

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Speaker 2: to some afters following the event and got a random

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Speaker 2: text message on my phone and he had got my

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Speaker 2: number off of a friend and.

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Speaker 3: He was like, what are you doing? Do you want

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Speaker 3: to hang out?

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Speaker 2: And I was like, no, I don't really want to

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Speaker 2: hang out with you. I've only just met you. But

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Speaker 2: he was obviously a friend of a friend that he

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Speaker 2: was really nice, and so I was like, okay, fine,

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Speaker 2: and I know you're not supposed to do this, but

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Speaker 2: I was like, you can come around to where I

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Speaker 2: was living. I was living with six girls, so I

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Speaker 2: felt pretty safe and yeah, I was, I think watching

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Speaker 2: Love Island and he just came round and sat on

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Speaker 2: the couch with us girls and then I said to him,

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Speaker 2: nothing is happening tonight, just so you know. When he

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Speaker 2: was so fine with that. I was nineteen and he

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Speaker 2: was twenty two at the time. I was at university

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Speaker 2: in New Zealand.

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Speaker 3: And yeah, I had.

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Speaker 2: Been in a relationship a year previous for a while,

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Speaker 2: since I was quite young. I was in a good place,

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Speaker 2: just really happy, enjoying my life, enjoying the freedom of

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Speaker 2: university and going to lots of parties.

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Speaker 3: And he was working in the city, so he had.

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Speaker 2: Gone to the same university as me, but he had

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Speaker 2: actually graduated a couple of years earlier, and he was

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Speaker 2: in his first year of working. When I initially met

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Speaker 2: him at the fistal, I didn't quite realize until he

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Speaker 2: came over just how good looking he was. He was

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Speaker 2: very nice on the eyes, and yeah, we had a

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Speaker 2: lot in common. I am really into surfing and so

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Speaker 2: is he. So we sort of talked about that and

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Speaker 2: started off pretty strong, just on common grounds, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: it was one of those things where it was pretty

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Speaker 2: hard and fast from the get go. After that first night,

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Speaker 2: he ended up staying over at my place until about

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Speaker 2: three pm the next day. He just didn't leave, and

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Speaker 2: yet we were just like chatting and hanging out and yeah,

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Speaker 2: and from then we stayed in touch, and it was

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Speaker 2: only a couple days later he asked me to meet

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Speaker 2: him for a drink. We had our first date, and

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Speaker 2: it was pretty much all on from there. I think

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Speaker 2: it was it's only maybe five weeks into us dating

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Speaker 2: that he asked me to be his girlfriend. And in

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Speaker 2: the same day we were drunk at the races and

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Speaker 2: he said I love you as well. So it all, yeah,

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Speaker 2: happened really quick. I was on cloud nine. I was like,

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Speaker 2: this is my perfect guy on paper, just everything. He

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Speaker 2: was really smart, really sporty, he loved the beach, he

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Speaker 2: loved surfing, he was just yeah, he was really quite

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Speaker 2: extroverted like me, and yeah, I was over the moon,

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Speaker 2: really really happy. We both had said to each other,

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Speaker 2: you know, we've never felt like this before. But yeah,

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Speaker 2: I definitely didn't anticipate on getting into such a serious

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Speaker 2: relationship so quickly after my last one, and I was

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Speaker 2: wanting to just be young and dumb and do my

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Speaker 2: own thing. But yeah, I think once I was in

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Speaker 2: love again, the blinkers were on, and I was just

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Speaker 2: very smitten and hopeful that we would go the distance.

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Speaker 2: We were just such a strong couple. We were very loud,

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Speaker 2: extroverted couple. We had all the same things in common.

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Speaker 2: So I think, you know, when people saw us together

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Speaker 2: you know, all my friends were just like, you've met

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Speaker 2: this really nice guy who's just so similar, and he's

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Speaker 2: all the things that you've ever looked for.

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Speaker 3: And a guy this is in game.

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Speaker 1: So far, so good.

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Speaker 3: The first year, year and a half of our relationship

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Speaker 3: was amazing. We had so much fun.

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Speaker 2: The following year after we got together, we were supposed

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Speaker 2: to go to Central America. He was flying over early

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Speaker 2: February twenty twenty and I was going to meet him

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Speaker 2: in March, and then pretty much as soon as he

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Speaker 2: got there, we went into lockdown, so he had to

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Speaker 2: fly back, and obviously my plans got canceled.

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Speaker 3: So we went into life with his family.

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Speaker 2: My family were living in another city, and yeah, it

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Speaker 2: was the best time. It was me and him, one

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Speaker 2: of my best friends dates his brother, so it was yeah,

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Speaker 2: all four of us and then the parents.

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Speaker 3: Was super super fun.

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Speaker 2: So that was a big chunk of twenty twenty and

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Speaker 2: after COVID we just sort of traveled a lot around

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Speaker 2: New Zealand and just made the most of our backyard things.

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Speaker 2: I guess started to feel a little bit rocky around

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Speaker 2: the beginning of twenty twenty one.

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Speaker 3: We were living.

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Speaker 2: Over the summer at his parents' place, and he had

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Speaker 2: sort of become a little bit distant all of a sudden,

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Speaker 2: and I was sort of like, what's going on. He

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Speaker 2: was always all in and just like very affectionate and loving,

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Speaker 2: and he wasn't and he was really over his job.

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Speaker 2: And he just kept saying, it's my mental health. I'm

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Speaker 2: just not in a good place, not feeling great. And

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Speaker 2: obviously I was just like, well, I'll do whatever to

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Speaker 2: help you. He was acknowledging he was off, but he

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Speaker 2: just kept putting it down to you know, he's just

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Speaker 2: feeling like he's in a rut. He didn't get to

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Speaker 2: go traveling the year before. He wants to move to Australia,

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Speaker 2: and that was always our plan. It was pretty much

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Speaker 2: ever since we met, was to move, but I had

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Speaker 2: to finish university and I kept saying, like, we can

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Speaker 2: go as soon as I finish. I had six more

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Speaker 2: months left. He was just not really being as physical

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Speaker 2: with me and just not talking as much. Yeah, we

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Speaker 2: used to always have our arms around each other, always

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Speaker 2: be holding your hands, always be really cuddled up close,

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Speaker 2: and it'd sort of be sitting on the other side

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Speaker 2: of the couch just whenever I sort of tried to,

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Speaker 2: you know, be like come on, like cuddle me whatever.

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Speaker 3: It's sort of be like, you know, you could.

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Speaker 2: Just feel he just wasn't really, so of course my

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Speaker 2: mind just keep going to well, you'd.

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Speaker 3: Clearly like it it is me, and he was like, no, no, no,

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Speaker 3: it's not, it's not you.

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Speaker 2: It's not I love you and I'm you know, I

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Speaker 2: want to be with you forever. A few weeks of

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Speaker 2: that and it just really got to me. And there

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Speaker 2: was one time we were supposed to go away together

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Speaker 2: for the weekend and he was just being really often

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Speaker 2: and I was like, look, I'm going to fly home

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Speaker 2: for the weekend. It's a long weekend. I'm going to

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Speaker 2: go see my family. You should go away with the boys.

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Speaker 2: That weekend when I went up to visit my family,

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Speaker 2: I didn't even tell any of my friends that I

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Speaker 2: was coming up because I was just like, I was

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Speaker 2: almost embarrassed. You know, I'm coming up because I'm in

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Speaker 2: such a bad headspace because I don't know what's going

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Speaker 2: on with my own partner and with living together, and

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Speaker 2: everybody has this view of us, and things went what

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Speaker 2: it seemed. I'd even spoken to his mum before I

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Speaker 2: had flown up. She drove me to the airport and

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Speaker 2: I was just like crying. I was like, I don't

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Speaker 2: know what more I can do. It's just getting to

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Speaker 2: the point where he's adam minutes his mental health. But

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Speaker 2: I can't live like this. He's just not himself. And

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Speaker 2: she was really concerned about him too, and she said,

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Speaker 2: this is sometimes what relationships are about. You know, you

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Speaker 2: just got to help each other through. So just keep

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Speaker 2: supporting him, and you know, if it gets too hard,

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Speaker 2: just come talk to me.

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Speaker 3: And we can sort it out. She was really supportive.

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Speaker 2: When I came back from my hometown after that weekend,

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Speaker 2: everything was sort of back to normal kind of. I

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Speaker 2: wrote like a huge three page letter of that. You know,

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Speaker 2: I'm here for him whatever he needs. I'm willing to

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Speaker 2: do whatever it takes. He didn't say a whole lot,

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Speaker 2: which I didn't really expect him to, but I just

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Speaker 2: put it on the bit side table and he said, yeah,

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Speaker 2: it's really nice, and he obviously knows all those things,

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Speaker 2: and you know, any going on, you know, you're such

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Speaker 2: a supportive, loyal girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: Molly felt confident things were getting back on track. They'd

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Speaker 1: taken the little break they needed and both realized what

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Speaker 1: they really needed was each other.

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Speaker 2: A couple of weeks later, it was my twenty first birthday,

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Speaker 2: so my parents flew us up. I was sort of

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Speaker 2: having a small ish get together, not a big event

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Speaker 2: for my twenty first, but you know, all my girlfriends

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Speaker 2: and my family and stuff, and he came up for that,

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Speaker 2: and it's always nice when he would come visit my

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Speaker 2: hometown and be around my friends. That night, on the

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Speaker 2: night of my twenty first, we all went into the

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Speaker 2: city afterwards, and I already didn't really want to go out.

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Speaker 2: I was having a lot of fun just at home,

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Speaker 2: like dancing with my aunties and my friends.

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Speaker 3: But he was like, no, you know, we're in the

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Speaker 3: big city. Let's go out.

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Speaker 2: And he had had some friends also from his hometown visiting,

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Speaker 2: so we went and meet up with them. It got

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Speaker 2: super late, and I was just like, I'm going to

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Speaker 2: go home, and he was like, I'm going to stay out.

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Speaker 2: And I was already a little bit annoyed about that,

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Speaker 2: because I was like, it's my birthday weekend and my

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Speaker 2: parents are flowing you up, and all you really care

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Speaker 2: about us just like seeing your mates. But I went

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Speaker 2: home and he did come home the next day till

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Speaker 2: about two pm. Eventually I got hold of him and

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Speaker 2: he was like, I've crashed at this person's house. I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna get I'm going to get an uber home soon.

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Speaker 2: I'm just gonna go catch up with this other mate.

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Speaker 3: And I was just like, what the hell?

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Speaker 2: Like he was flying out at like maybe five pm

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Speaker 2: that night. It was also Valentine's Day as well. I

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Speaker 2: was with my parents.

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Speaker 3: They were livid.

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Speaker 2: I was on the couch, you know, just in like

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Speaker 2: a fetal position, just so upset, like We've come up

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Speaker 2: in such a nice weekend and now I can barely

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Speaker 2: get hold of him and he's still not home, and

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Speaker 2: you know, I'm embarrassed at.

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Speaker 3: My parents have had to see that.

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Speaker 2: So when he finally walked through the door at two pm,

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Speaker 2: we went upstairs to my room and I was just like,

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Speaker 2: I can't do this anymore. I'm done whatever's going on,

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Speaker 2: I can't do it. And he was like, no, no,

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Speaker 2: can't break up. I don't want to break up. I

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Speaker 2: don't I love you, I'm so sorry, and so on

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Speaker 2: so forth. He was adamant, you know, he really really

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Speaker 2: didn't want to break up. Yeah, So I was like, okay, well,

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Speaker 2: I'll give you one more chance, And of course I

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Speaker 2: flew back to the town we were living, and it

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Speaker 2: was good for the first few days, and then it

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Speaker 2: just sort of went downhill again to the point where

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Speaker 2: I was living back at my new place by then

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Speaker 2: with my friends at UNI, and he just wasn't really

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Speaker 2: making an effort and I just sort of I called

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Speaker 2: his mum one day and I was like, I'm done.

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Speaker 3: It's been you know, a.

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Speaker 2: Couple months of this whatever, and yeah, I don't have

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Speaker 2: the capacity to deal with this.

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Speaker 3: So I tried to get.

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Speaker 2: Him to come over, but he would not come over

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Speaker 2: it and I was like, can we please meet to discuss,

245
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Speaker 2: like to talk about this, but he knew I was

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Speaker 2: going to break up with him and he was not

247
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Speaker 2: going to have that, so he was like, no, not tonight,

248
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Speaker 2: not tonight. He gave me a call and I just

249
00:13:10,490 --> 00:13:12,570
Speaker 2: said to him, I was like, you know, we really

250
00:13:12,610 --> 00:13:16,130
Speaker 2: need to talk, like I'm really unhappy, and he was like,

251
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Speaker 2: I don't want you to break up with me, and

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Speaker 2: I was like, you know, maybe this is what you need.

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Speaker 3: I just can't keep doing this anymore. And he was

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Speaker 3: really upset. He cried.

255
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Speaker 2: At one point he had to go and get his mum,

256
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Speaker 2: and he was really, yeah, really really upset.

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Speaker 3: We ended up breaking up over the phone.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't what either of them wanted, but Molly was

259
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Speaker 1: adamant she couldn't keep putting up with this behavior. She

260
00:13:40,690 --> 00:13:43,450
Speaker 1: was young, Yes she was in love, but it shouldn't

261
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Speaker 1: look like this.

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Speaker 3: I really really missed him. I was really sad.

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Speaker 2: And we kept in touch a little bit, but it

264
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Speaker 2: was really sad. But yeah, after maybe even only six weeks,

265
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Speaker 2: he had messaged me to say that he had actually

266
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Speaker 2: gotten a job in Perth, and that to me actually

267
00:14:04,850 --> 00:14:08,090
Speaker 2: really indicated like, Okay, he was serious about really not

268
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Speaker 2: liking his job, about really wanting to do something about

269
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Speaker 2: it and wanting to you know, spread his wings. And

270
00:14:14,650 --> 00:14:17,330
Speaker 2: he was like, yeah, I'm leaving in a month. I

271
00:14:17,410 --> 00:14:21,290
Speaker 2: was like wow, okay, And we agreed to meet and

272
00:14:21,530 --> 00:14:22,890
Speaker 2: it was supposed to be more like a bit of

273
00:14:22,890 --> 00:14:25,810
Speaker 2: a is this going to be a goodbye? But I

274
00:14:25,850 --> 00:14:29,450
Speaker 2: went over and we pretty much immediately just were we

275
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Speaker 2: miss each other so much and we want.

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Speaker 3: To get back together.

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Speaker 2: And of course he was leaving to Perth in a month,

278
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Speaker 2: and because I guess that had always been the plan,

279
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Speaker 2: he sort of Yeah. He just was like, you know,

280
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Speaker 2: well you can come over, you can come and visit me,

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Speaker 2: and then when you finish university. It was only about

282
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Speaker 2: four months away, but I was graduating, he said you

283
00:14:53,210 --> 00:14:54,730
Speaker 2: can move over and join me.

284
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Speaker 3: So that was sort of the plan.

285
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Speaker 2: And the next month was just like amazing, just trying

286
00:15:02,850 --> 00:15:05,410
Speaker 2: to make the most of our time together. I was

287
00:15:05,450 --> 00:15:07,370
Speaker 2: sort of making up a decision. Am I going to

288
00:15:07,410 --> 00:15:08,570
Speaker 2: trust this person again?

289
00:15:09,090 --> 00:15:09,770
Speaker 3: He was adamant.

290
00:15:09,810 --> 00:15:12,010
Speaker 2: You know, it was just my mental health. I just

291
00:15:12,090 --> 00:15:13,730
Speaker 2: you know, I feel so much better now I've quit

292
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Speaker 2: my job.

293
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Speaker 3: I'm leaving.

294
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Speaker 2: He's like, I just felt like so stuck, like I

295
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:20,090
Speaker 2: needed to get out of here. I was like, I'm

296
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:23,170
Speaker 2: so glad that you're out of that now. And I

297
00:15:23,210 --> 00:15:25,250
Speaker 2: don't know, it just seemed like one of those sort

298
00:15:25,250 --> 00:15:31,370
Speaker 2: of healthy breakup slash breaks. It worked and he sorted

299
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Speaker 2: himself out. We got back together.

300
00:15:34,970 --> 00:15:37,610
Speaker 1: During their time apart, Molly had decided she was going

301
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Speaker 1: to move to Australia herself no matter what. So now

302
00:15:40,890 --> 00:15:43,050
Speaker 1: they were back together and Tom was being the great

303
00:15:43,050 --> 00:15:45,970
Speaker 1: boyfriend again. It was an easy decision. She'd finished her

304
00:15:46,010 --> 00:15:49,450
Speaker 1: last few months of UNI, pack up her things and headworst.

305
00:15:49,570 --> 00:15:54,570
Speaker 2: About three or four days before my flight, we went

306
00:15:54,650 --> 00:16:01,290
Speaker 2: into lockdown and my light obviously got canceled because the

307
00:16:01,290 --> 00:16:02,770
Speaker 2: borders closed immediately.

308
00:16:03,650 --> 00:16:07,050
Speaker 3: This was in July that this happened.

309
00:16:07,210 --> 00:16:11,130
Speaker 2: End of July, I think, And yeah, I spent until

310
00:16:11,450 --> 00:16:15,810
Speaker 2: the end of December pretty much stuck in New Zealand

311
00:16:16,010 --> 00:16:18,930
Speaker 2: because of, yeah, the lockdowns and the restrictions and things.

312
00:16:19,370 --> 00:16:22,330
Speaker 3: So every day was hard because I didn't have a

313
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Speaker 3: job anymore.

314
00:16:23,770 --> 00:16:27,370
Speaker 2: And then obviously day to day just worried, you know,

315
00:16:27,410 --> 00:16:29,130
Speaker 2: when am I going to be able to actually get there,

316
00:16:29,130 --> 00:16:30,370
Speaker 2: When am I going to be able to see him?

317
00:16:30,730 --> 00:16:32,930
Speaker 3: And we'd already been doing long distance since May.

318
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Speaker 2: Part of me was like, he's going to be out

319
00:16:35,610 --> 00:16:37,570
Speaker 2: there having so much fun in this new city, and

320
00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:40,010
Speaker 2: he's going to meet all these new people, and you

321
00:16:40,050 --> 00:16:42,570
Speaker 2: know what if he decides he doesn't want me, you know,

322
00:16:42,730 --> 00:16:45,890
Speaker 2: as part of that new life anymore. But he was

323
00:16:45,970 --> 00:16:49,650
Speaker 2: just so desperate to have me there, and he let

324
00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:53,050
Speaker 2: me know that every day without a doubt. He was

325
00:16:53,090 --> 00:16:56,370
Speaker 2: finding it just as hard, if not harder than I was,

326
00:16:56,690 --> 00:16:59,050
Speaker 2: being away from me, and he just wanted nothing more

327
00:16:59,090 --> 00:17:01,770
Speaker 2: than me to just be there and to join him.

328
00:17:02,370 --> 00:17:04,850
Speaker 2: We were at facetiming multiple times a day. He'd sort

329
00:17:04,890 --> 00:17:07,010
Speaker 2: of call me on his way to work, his way

330
00:17:07,050 --> 00:17:10,810
Speaker 2: after work, we would have date nights over video call

331
00:17:10,970 --> 00:17:13,970
Speaker 2: and get dressed up. It was actually a really nice time,

332
00:17:14,050 --> 00:17:16,410
Speaker 2: even though at the time I was desperate to go.

333
00:17:17,130 --> 00:17:22,770
Speaker 2: But yeah, one day, when I was in lockdown, I

334
00:17:22,810 --> 00:17:27,210
Speaker 2: had gotten a message from a friend of mine who

335
00:17:27,330 --> 00:17:30,050
Speaker 2: I had only met earlier that year, just because she

336
00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:32,850
Speaker 2: had moved to the place that Tom and I were living,

337
00:17:33,210 --> 00:17:35,690
Speaker 2: and she was actually my friend's cousin, so she sort

338
00:17:35,690 --> 00:17:39,010
Speaker 2: of got introduced to the friend group and she's lovely,

339
00:17:39,290 --> 00:17:42,690
Speaker 2: lovely girl, and she had messaged me saying like, hey, Molly,

340
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:45,890
Speaker 2: you're all doing well. Do you mind if I give

341
00:17:45,930 --> 00:17:48,130
Speaker 2: you a call? I just want to talk about it

342
00:17:48,210 --> 00:17:51,970
Speaker 2: a few things. My gut sort of told me like, no,

343
00:17:52,050 --> 00:17:54,210
Speaker 2: you should go for a drive. And when she called me,

344
00:17:55,170 --> 00:17:59,130
Speaker 2: she was just like immediately crying and she was like,

345
00:17:59,290 --> 00:18:03,250
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry. I didn't know whether to tell you this.

346
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:06,730
Speaker 2: I've been sitting on it for so long. But me

347
00:18:07,330 --> 00:18:12,610
Speaker 2: and Tom hooked up earlier in the year when he

348
00:18:12,770 --> 00:18:18,490
Speaker 2: was down away on that voice weekend. She had no

349
00:18:18,530 --> 00:18:20,210
Speaker 2: idea who I was at that time. I had no

350
00:18:20,250 --> 00:18:23,090
Speaker 2: idea who she was, so it had absolutely nothing to

351
00:18:23,090 --> 00:18:26,130
Speaker 2: do with her. She was actually living down where they went,

352
00:18:26,570 --> 00:18:30,930
Speaker 2: and she had just you know, met this guy at

353
00:18:30,970 --> 00:18:35,210
Speaker 2: a bar they you know, were talking, He walked her home,

354
00:18:35,650 --> 00:18:41,290
Speaker 2: got her number, They hooked up and continued messaging for

355
00:18:41,370 --> 00:18:46,290
Speaker 2: a few days, and then after that she obviously tried

356
00:18:46,290 --> 00:18:48,930
Speaker 2: looking him up on like social media and all of that,

357
00:18:49,770 --> 00:18:54,410
Speaker 2: and he actually has a very private social media account.

358
00:18:54,730 --> 00:18:57,370
Speaker 2: So she was saying like it was so hard to

359
00:18:57,410 --> 00:19:00,050
Speaker 2: find him and she only had a first name, and

360
00:19:00,130 --> 00:19:03,330
Speaker 2: she actually just couldn't figure out who this guy was.

361
00:19:03,330 --> 00:19:05,610
Speaker 2: She sort of gave up, he stopped texting her back

362
00:19:06,370 --> 00:19:10,490
Speaker 2: when eventually she had figured it out. And the poor thing,

363
00:19:10,530 --> 00:19:14,250
Speaker 2: when we had become rins around that exact same time,

364
00:19:14,370 --> 00:19:17,330
Speaker 2: my Instagram had gotten deleted, and so I had no

365
00:19:18,290 --> 00:19:19,850
Speaker 2: when she first met me. It wasn't even like she

366
00:19:19,850 --> 00:19:22,290
Speaker 2: could go on to my Instagram and stalk and see

367
00:19:22,450 --> 00:19:24,450
Speaker 2: this boyfriend I was talking about that I had just

368
00:19:24,490 --> 00:19:25,010
Speaker 2: got back.

369
00:19:24,890 --> 00:19:26,130
Speaker 3: With and was moving to Perth with.

370
00:19:26,810 --> 00:19:29,650
Speaker 2: So she knew about this guy like Tom, but she

371
00:19:29,770 --> 00:19:32,770
Speaker 2: never put two and two together. And then so when

372
00:19:32,810 --> 00:19:35,250
Speaker 2: she did, I think I made a post, you know,

373
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:39,690
Speaker 2: when we were in lockdown and and she saw that

374
00:19:40,210 --> 00:19:44,610
Speaker 2: and was like, oh my god, this is the same guy.

375
00:19:45,490 --> 00:19:49,970
Speaker 2: So yeah, she was just devastated. So I was speech

376
00:19:50,050 --> 00:19:52,490
Speaker 2: just like I felt so sick, like I had just

377
00:19:52,610 --> 00:19:57,890
Speaker 2: you know, I was about to go move overseas for

378
00:19:57,970 --> 00:20:02,730
Speaker 2: this guy. And I was just so blindsided. I was

379
00:20:02,810 --> 00:20:06,330
Speaker 2: just like wait, what, Like how is this even? How

380
00:20:06,410 --> 00:20:08,450
Speaker 2: is this happening? Like this doesn't happen to people like

381
00:20:08,610 --> 00:20:11,690
Speaker 2: you never think it's going to happen to you. And

382
00:20:11,690 --> 00:20:13,210
Speaker 2: I said to her, you know, she told me all

383
00:20:13,210 --> 00:20:15,970
Speaker 2: the details, and she sent me the screenshots of them

384
00:20:16,050 --> 00:20:18,410
Speaker 2: texting and you know, as him, let me know when

385
00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:21,410
Speaker 2: you get home safe, and then him the next day

386
00:20:21,450 --> 00:20:24,650
Speaker 2: asking her to send photos sort of organizing to potentially

387
00:20:24,650 --> 00:20:28,090
Speaker 2: meet up again. And it was just a full blowing

388
00:20:28,130 --> 00:20:33,050
Speaker 2: coincidence that she had moved to our town. So straight

389
00:20:33,090 --> 00:20:36,410
Speaker 2: away I just called him. I was like calling him

390
00:20:36,450 --> 00:20:39,890
Speaker 2: and he was at work in Perth, and I just

391
00:20:39,970 --> 00:20:42,770
Speaker 2: said to him, like, I know everything, She's told me everything.

392
00:20:43,530 --> 00:20:46,130
Speaker 2: How stupid do you think I am? Like, how do

393
00:20:46,170 --> 00:20:48,730
Speaker 2: you think that I could not find this out? And

394
00:20:48,770 --> 00:20:50,450
Speaker 2: I was like, it's not even what you did, it's

395
00:20:50,490 --> 00:20:52,810
Speaker 2: the fact that you lied about it. And the fact

396
00:20:52,810 --> 00:20:56,130
Speaker 2: that you knew I would find out eventually, and he

397
00:20:56,410 --> 00:20:58,130
Speaker 2: was like, I know, I was in denial. I was

398
00:20:58,170 --> 00:21:01,010
Speaker 2: just hoping that you wouldn't find out. I was like why,

399
00:21:01,290 --> 00:21:04,130
Speaker 2: Like how did you not think that I wouldn't find out?

400
00:21:04,330 --> 00:21:07,210
Speaker 2: And he was like, honestly, every day you messaged me,

401
00:21:07,330 --> 00:21:09,850
Speaker 2: I just thought, today's the day she's going to find out.

402
00:21:10,410 --> 00:21:13,250
Speaker 3: And I was like, what the heck? Why would you

403
00:21:13,290 --> 00:21:14,130
Speaker 3: want to live like that?

404
00:21:15,090 --> 00:21:19,010
Speaker 2: And at that time, I was trying to get an

405
00:21:19,010 --> 00:21:22,210
Speaker 2: exemption to go in and do hotel quarantine and we

406
00:21:22,210 --> 00:21:23,850
Speaker 2: were trying to do that, and we had to go

407
00:21:23,890 --> 00:21:26,530
Speaker 2: through that whole process and go through the whole to

408
00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:32,170
Speaker 2: facto relationship trying to get me into WA despite the

409
00:21:32,250 --> 00:21:34,930
Speaker 2: borders closing. And I said to him, I was like,

410
00:21:35,330 --> 00:21:37,130
Speaker 2: you knew I was going to find out eventually, Like

411
00:21:37,210 --> 00:21:39,250
Speaker 2: were you just waiting for me to get to WA

412
00:21:39,850 --> 00:21:42,570
Speaker 2: because you knew once I got there, I couldn't leave.

413
00:21:43,170 --> 00:21:44,850
Speaker 2: And he was like, you know, I just hope that

414
00:21:44,890 --> 00:21:47,610
Speaker 2: when we're in person, you know, I could, you know,

415
00:21:47,650 --> 00:21:48,650
Speaker 2: explain things better.

416
00:21:49,210 --> 00:21:50,250
Speaker 3: I didn't want to lose you.

417
00:21:50,330 --> 00:21:52,250
Speaker 2: And then when we got back together, I didn't see

418
00:21:52,250 --> 00:21:54,490
Speaker 2: the point in telling you I knew you'd never get

419
00:21:54,530 --> 00:21:57,090
Speaker 2: back with me, and he knew my stance on cheating

420
00:21:57,130 --> 00:21:59,410
Speaker 2: as well. Like, yeah, so it was a lot of

421
00:21:59,450 --> 00:22:01,690
Speaker 2: back and forth. You know, he was cooling my parents

422
00:22:01,690 --> 00:22:04,730
Speaker 2: and then you know, his mum was calling me. Everyone

423
00:22:04,810 --> 00:22:07,690
Speaker 2: was really worried about him and his mental health while

424
00:22:07,730 --> 00:22:10,650
Speaker 2: he was over there, and I was just like, oh, God,

425
00:22:10,690 --> 00:22:14,250
Speaker 2: like you know, of course everything's now just you know,

426
00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:17,450
Speaker 2: everyone's worried about him again. And yeah, I basically said

427
00:22:17,450 --> 00:22:20,410
Speaker 2: to him, I'm not coming to birth cheatings of one thing,

428
00:22:20,570 --> 00:22:23,490
Speaker 2: you know, like the one thing that I just do

429
00:22:23,650 --> 00:22:26,530
Speaker 2: not stand for, and the lying on top of that

430
00:22:27,410 --> 00:22:29,650
Speaker 2: to not even feel guilty enough to try and make

431
00:22:29,690 --> 00:22:32,170
Speaker 2: it up to me on my twenty first birthday, you know,

432
00:22:32,290 --> 00:22:33,690
Speaker 2: and that was only a week later.

433
00:22:34,410 --> 00:22:35,690
Speaker 3: Yeah, so I was just like.

434
00:22:35,770 --> 00:22:41,850
Speaker 2: Nah, I didn't say anything to anyone. I asked the

435
00:22:41,890 --> 00:22:43,930
Speaker 2: girl not to talk to anyone about it. I didn't

436
00:22:43,930 --> 00:22:46,970
Speaker 2: tell any of my friends. I had one friend, like

437
00:22:47,130 --> 00:22:49,770
Speaker 2: our mutual friend with the other girl, that knew, but

438
00:22:50,290 --> 00:22:52,810
Speaker 2: I didn't tell any of my friends at home. Only

439
00:22:52,850 --> 00:22:55,610
Speaker 2: my family knew, and his family knew. I was just

440
00:22:55,730 --> 00:23:00,490
Speaker 2: so humiliated, like so embarrassed. I said, this is so embarrassing.

441
00:23:00,530 --> 00:23:05,090
Speaker 2: I was just about to move countries for someone and

442
00:23:05,570 --> 00:23:08,330
Speaker 2: all along like he's been lying to me the last

443
00:23:08,370 --> 00:23:11,970
Speaker 2: six months, and yeah, I was just like I was

444
00:23:12,050 --> 00:23:14,730
Speaker 2: just livid and I just didn't want anyone to know.

445
00:23:15,410 --> 00:23:19,410
Speaker 2: And I also had my kid also telling me, like

446
00:23:19,450 --> 00:23:22,730
Speaker 2: the coincidence of this all like how could this be

447
00:23:23,450 --> 00:23:25,610
Speaker 2: the first time, I don't know, you know, we've been

448
00:23:25,650 --> 00:23:29,570
Speaker 2: together for over two years at this point, I doubt it.

449
00:23:30,210 --> 00:23:34,370
Speaker 2: And yeah, I just you know, it explained all the

450
00:23:34,890 --> 00:23:39,650
Speaker 2: weird behavior and all of that around the time. But

451
00:23:39,770 --> 00:23:42,650
Speaker 2: it also was kind of like made me a bit sick.

452
00:23:43,050 --> 00:23:45,410
Speaker 2: How also normal he.

453
00:23:45,410 --> 00:23:47,010
Speaker 3: Could act straight after it.

454
00:23:47,490 --> 00:23:49,330
Speaker 2: He was Adam, and he was like, I want to

455
00:23:49,330 --> 00:23:51,850
Speaker 2: be with you forever. I would never do this to

456
00:23:51,890 --> 00:23:54,170
Speaker 2: you again. He was willing to do whatever it took

457
00:23:54,250 --> 00:23:57,410
Speaker 2: to make up for it, and he was putting in

458
00:23:57,450 --> 00:23:59,410
Speaker 2: the hard yards. He was like, as soon as the

459
00:23:59,410 --> 00:24:01,010
Speaker 2: border is open, I'm going to be back in New Zealand.

460
00:24:01,010 --> 00:24:02,050
Speaker 3: I'm going to move back.

461
00:24:02,330 --> 00:24:04,930
Speaker 2: I'm going to work this out. And I just said,

462
00:24:05,010 --> 00:24:07,530
Speaker 2: all I need is just time. I'm so hurt and

463
00:24:07,570 --> 00:24:10,970
Speaker 2: confused right now. I just need some space. So luckily

464
00:24:10,970 --> 00:24:13,090
Speaker 2: I was in lockdown. Can do a lot of reflecting,

465
00:24:13,130 --> 00:24:17,010
Speaker 2: and I just sort of eventually came to the conclusion that,

466
00:24:17,690 --> 00:24:19,890
Speaker 2: you know, I was still going to go. This was

467
00:24:20,050 --> 00:24:23,450
Speaker 2: has been the plan for me to go, and if

468
00:24:23,530 --> 00:24:26,490
Speaker 2: I'm doing it for myself, like I'm going over for myself,

469
00:24:26,610 --> 00:24:29,850
Speaker 2: and if he does this to me again, then shame

470
00:24:29,930 --> 00:24:31,970
Speaker 2: on me sort of thing. And you know, I was

471
00:24:31,970 --> 00:24:35,570
Speaker 2: still only twenty one. I really wanted to believe and

472
00:24:35,690 --> 00:24:38,250
Speaker 2: he was telling me everything, you know, pulling out all

473
00:24:38,290 --> 00:24:42,090
Speaker 2: the stops. He was just like, he was like, you know,

474
00:24:42,330 --> 00:24:44,370
Speaker 2: I'm willing to give you as much space as you want.

475
00:24:44,970 --> 00:24:47,170
Speaker 2: Any day I would ask him, can you just tell

476
00:24:47,210 --> 00:24:49,370
Speaker 2: me exactly what you were thinking at that time? And

477
00:24:49,490 --> 00:24:52,050
Speaker 2: his excuse was, I wasn't thinking, but I would never

478
00:24:52,090 --> 00:24:54,890
Speaker 2: do that. I'm willing to do the work and all that.

479
00:24:55,090 --> 00:24:58,490
Speaker 2: So this all sort of happened over the next couple

480
00:24:58,450 --> 00:25:03,770
Speaker 2: of months, and yeah, come December, things were looking a

481
00:25:03,810 --> 00:25:05,690
Speaker 2: little bit more positive. I was able to get a

482
00:25:05,690 --> 00:25:08,250
Speaker 2: flight to Sydney and he was going to leave wa

483
00:25:08,450 --> 00:25:10,290
Speaker 2: and come and meet me there and then we would

484
00:25:10,370 --> 00:25:13,290
Speaker 2: just live in the Goal Coast until the border's opened,

485
00:25:13,290 --> 00:25:15,050
Speaker 2: so for a couple months and he could just work

486
00:25:15,090 --> 00:25:16,690
Speaker 2: out of the Gold Coast office.

487
00:25:16,370 --> 00:25:20,130
Speaker 3: So yeah, that's what we did. But I felt at

488
00:25:20,130 --> 00:25:25,010
Speaker 3: that point, you know, very very confident and very trusting

489
00:25:25,770 --> 00:25:28,210
Speaker 3: because he had instilled a lot of trust in me

490
00:25:28,850 --> 00:25:31,370
Speaker 3: over that time. He was putting in more effort than

491
00:25:31,370 --> 00:25:35,490
Speaker 3: ever and sending me flowers and all that sort of stuff.

492
00:25:35,970 --> 00:25:39,170
Speaker 2: Also, him leaving WA and doing all that and risking

493
00:25:39,210 --> 00:25:42,490
Speaker 2: all of that was a lot as well, So that

494
00:25:42,850 --> 00:25:46,850
Speaker 2: sort of really made me think, you know, he's Darius,

495
00:25:46,490 --> 00:25:48,010
Speaker 2: He's not this.

496
00:25:48,050 --> 00:25:50,050
Speaker 3: Type of person. He's not going to do that to

497
00:25:50,130 --> 00:25:50,650
Speaker 3: me again.

498
00:25:51,490 --> 00:25:54,170
Speaker 1: It was a roller coaster, but she loved him and

499
00:25:54,210 --> 00:25:56,890
Speaker 1: believed him. She was willing to give him another chance.

500
00:25:57,410 --> 00:26:02,650
Speaker 2: We finally got to Perth and it was amazing. Moved

501
00:26:02,690 --> 00:26:08,250
Speaker 2: into our new place with our friends, and yeah, it

502
00:26:08,330 --> 00:26:12,810
Speaker 2: was just such a fun burst few months we had

503
00:26:13,330 --> 00:26:16,730
Speaker 2: the best time. We were living by the beach and yeah,

504
00:26:16,770 --> 00:26:21,370
Speaker 2: living with my now best friend and one of his

505
00:26:21,730 --> 00:26:26,210
Speaker 2: friends also from New Zealand. Our relationship was stronger than ever,

506
00:26:26,890 --> 00:26:30,450
Speaker 2: really really nice. We were just, yeah, just so happy.

507
00:26:30,490 --> 00:26:34,450
Speaker 2: I think having spent all this time apart and not

508
00:26:34,490 --> 00:26:36,970
Speaker 2: being able to see each other, we just really cherished

509
00:26:37,010 --> 00:26:39,450
Speaker 2: all of that time that we had together because you know,

510
00:26:39,490 --> 00:26:41,170
Speaker 2: we knew what it was like not to be able

511
00:26:41,210 --> 00:26:43,730
Speaker 2: to see each other, and that was so hard at

512
00:26:43,730 --> 00:26:47,010
Speaker 2: the time. So it just felt so nice and to

513
00:26:47,090 --> 00:26:49,850
Speaker 2: be experiencing all these new things together and being able

514
00:26:49,850 --> 00:26:52,850
Speaker 2: to catch the train into work together. And I got

515
00:26:52,890 --> 00:26:56,450
Speaker 2: a job at a place literally across the road from him.

516
00:26:56,890 --> 00:27:00,450
Speaker 2: We go in together and every weekend we go down

517
00:27:00,730 --> 00:27:05,090
Speaker 2: south and go surfing, and yeah, it was just lovely.

518
00:27:05,690 --> 00:27:08,930
Speaker 2: I didn't really think about the cheating much at that point.

519
00:27:09,330 --> 00:27:10,290
Speaker 3: I was well over it.

520
00:27:10,370 --> 00:27:12,930
Speaker 2: I was just so happy with where we were at

521
00:27:13,010 --> 00:27:17,290
Speaker 2: at the time. And yeah, he never gave me any

522
00:27:17,330 --> 00:27:19,930
Speaker 2: reason to believe that he was going to do that

523
00:27:20,010 --> 00:27:23,850
Speaker 2: to me again, So yeah, I was really happy. Every

524
00:27:24,250 --> 00:27:27,770
Speaker 2: Friday night we would meet with some of his work

525
00:27:27,770 --> 00:27:31,290
Speaker 2: colleagues for a drink after work, and so I made

526
00:27:31,410 --> 00:27:34,930
Speaker 2: a couple of friends there through him. I honestly didn't

527
00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:38,330
Speaker 2: know like anyone moving a Perth and so that was

528
00:27:38,370 --> 00:27:42,570
Speaker 2: really nice. And I meet a girl one of his colleagues, Sophie,

529
00:27:43,090 --> 00:27:47,010
Speaker 2: who we got along really well, and she had long

530
00:27:47,090 --> 00:27:49,290
Speaker 2: term partner as well, and she would always be there

531
00:27:49,290 --> 00:27:51,650
Speaker 2: at afterwork drinks, so I still of just sit and

532
00:27:51,730 --> 00:27:53,450
Speaker 2: chat with her and some of the other girls.

533
00:27:53,170 --> 00:27:55,370
Speaker 3: And yeah, it was really nice to get to know them.

534
00:27:56,930 --> 00:27:59,610
Speaker 1: But after a couple of months, things started to slip

535
00:27:59,650 --> 00:28:02,730
Speaker 1: back into the routine of Tom staying out later and later.

536
00:28:03,170 --> 00:28:05,730
Speaker 1: They'd go out together, but Molly would always call it

537
00:28:05,770 --> 00:28:08,570
Speaker 1: first and Tom would stay out. But she knew she

538
00:28:08,650 --> 00:28:10,970
Speaker 1: was the one in the relationship who'd always call it early,

539
00:28:11,250 --> 00:28:14,090
Speaker 1: and he just wasn't. It was nothing to worry about.

540
00:28:14,330 --> 00:28:16,050
Speaker 3: He was with all of his work friends. They were

541
00:28:16,090 --> 00:28:17,130
Speaker 3: just at the bars.

542
00:28:17,250 --> 00:28:19,610
Speaker 2: They were just leading off steam on a Friday night,

543
00:28:20,290 --> 00:28:23,330
Speaker 2: and I loved all of them, like they're all our friends,

544
00:28:23,370 --> 00:28:26,930
Speaker 2: and I would just get tired and go home. It

545
00:28:27,050 --> 00:28:32,570
Speaker 2: got to about June and we had his work ball,

546
00:28:33,090 --> 00:28:36,010
Speaker 2: which I was super excited about. Sophie and I I

547
00:28:36,090 --> 00:28:39,050
Speaker 2: planned our outfits together and I was just really excited

548
00:28:39,090 --> 00:28:39,890
Speaker 2: to get glammed up.

549
00:28:40,090 --> 00:28:42,290
Speaker 3: Hadn't done that in so long because of COVID.

550
00:28:42,770 --> 00:28:46,850
Speaker 2: Got my dress and we all had drinks beforehands, like

551
00:28:47,130 --> 00:28:50,090
Speaker 2: Tom and I and Sophie and her partner and a

552
00:28:50,170 --> 00:28:53,890
Speaker 2: couple of our other friends that they worked with. And yeah,

553
00:28:53,890 --> 00:28:55,970
Speaker 2: we had such a good night obviously. Yeah, we all

554
00:28:55,970 --> 00:28:58,610
Speaker 2: got really really drunk and just had a good night

555
00:28:58,650 --> 00:29:00,930
Speaker 2: on the dance floor and then afterwards we went into

556
00:29:00,930 --> 00:29:05,210
Speaker 2: the city and went to a club and yeah, we

557
00:29:05,210 --> 00:29:09,210
Speaker 2: were just having a really great night and I ended

558
00:29:09,290 --> 00:29:12,450
Speaker 2: up losing them at one point, and by the time

559
00:29:12,490 --> 00:29:16,610
Speaker 2: I sort of found them again, my friend had said

560
00:29:17,170 --> 00:29:20,850
Speaker 2: Tom was looking for you, but now he's gone. She

561
00:29:20,970 --> 00:29:24,370
Speaker 2: was like, Tom has gone to walk Sophie home, because

562
00:29:24,450 --> 00:29:27,370
Speaker 2: Sophie doesn't live so far from the city and her

563
00:29:27,650 --> 00:29:30,330
Speaker 2: partner had gone home earlier because they had had a

564
00:29:30,450 --> 00:29:32,090
Speaker 2: bit of an argument, and she had told me in

565
00:29:32,130 --> 00:29:34,690
Speaker 2: the bathroom he was annoyed that he wanted to go

566
00:29:34,770 --> 00:29:38,770
Speaker 2: home early and she didn't, so Tom couldn't find me,

567
00:29:38,890 --> 00:29:44,250
Speaker 2: and some reason decided he'd walk get her home safely instead. Yeah,

568
00:29:44,330 --> 00:29:46,930
Speaker 2: so I was like, oh, okay, and I was trying

569
00:29:46,930 --> 00:29:48,610
Speaker 2: to get in contact with him to see does he

570
00:29:48,650 --> 00:29:50,930
Speaker 2: want me to wait to get an uber home together,

571
00:29:51,130 --> 00:29:51,770
Speaker 2: like I'm a.

572
00:29:51,770 --> 00:29:54,370
Speaker 3: Bit confused, but I couldn't get in contact with him.

573
00:29:54,410 --> 00:29:57,330
Speaker 2: His phone was clearly off, so I was like, oh, whatever,

574
00:29:57,890 --> 00:30:00,650
Speaker 2: really didn't think too much into it, and we all

575
00:30:00,850 --> 00:30:05,010
Speaker 2: went home, me and the other housemates, and we fell

576
00:30:05,050 --> 00:30:08,330
Speaker 2: asleep and in the morning I woke up around nine

577
00:30:08,330 --> 00:30:10,730
Speaker 2: o'clock and I tried to call and text him and

578
00:30:11,090 --> 00:30:14,410
Speaker 2: his phone didn't pick up and he hadn't come home

579
00:30:14,490 --> 00:30:19,330
Speaker 2: all night, So I think because I was so used

580
00:30:19,330 --> 00:30:23,010
Speaker 2: to him being out late and you know all of that.

581
00:30:23,530 --> 00:30:25,970
Speaker 2: When I got home, you know, i'd had a fearbit

582
00:30:25,970 --> 00:30:28,090
Speaker 2: to drink, I just sort of was like, he'll be

583
00:30:28,130 --> 00:30:30,930
Speaker 2: home soon enough. He's probably walked to home and they're

584
00:30:30,930 --> 00:30:32,730
Speaker 2: going to get an uber and he'll be back soon.

585
00:30:32,810 --> 00:30:35,210
Speaker 2: And so I sort of just fell asleep. And so

586
00:30:35,330 --> 00:30:38,010
Speaker 2: when I woke up in the morning and he wasn't

587
00:30:38,130 --> 00:30:41,330
Speaker 2: in bed, I was like, wait what?

588
00:30:41,450 --> 00:30:42,370
Speaker 3: And I went outside and.

589
00:30:42,370 --> 00:30:46,330
Speaker 2: Thought maybe he's on the couch and he wasn't there,

590
00:30:47,290 --> 00:30:50,730
Speaker 2: and I tried to call him and he wasn't picking up.

591
00:30:51,250 --> 00:30:53,170
Speaker 2: For all we know, he could be dead in a gutter,

592
00:30:53,570 --> 00:30:57,810
Speaker 2: like we don't actually know if he got her home or.

593
00:30:57,330 --> 00:30:57,890
Speaker 3: Any of this.

594
00:30:58,490 --> 00:31:02,970
Speaker 2: And yeah, I was just like an anxious miss like

595
00:31:03,050 --> 00:31:03,730
Speaker 2: where is he?

596
00:31:03,850 --> 00:31:05,330
Speaker 3: Like what's going on? I don't know?

597
00:31:05,450 --> 00:31:08,570
Speaker 2: And so I was then calling her and messaging her

598
00:31:09,050 --> 00:31:12,130
Speaker 2: to be like, have you seen Tom? Did he leave

599
00:31:12,170 --> 00:31:14,490
Speaker 2: yours last night? Or did he crash you know, did

600
00:31:14,490 --> 00:31:17,530
Speaker 2: you crash over? She also I couldn't get hold of her.

601
00:31:18,210 --> 00:31:21,730
Speaker 2: I definitely had a bit of a gut feeling for sure,

602
00:31:22,170 --> 00:31:25,850
Speaker 2: because she lived with her parents, not with her long

603
00:31:25,930 --> 00:31:28,050
Speaker 2: term boyfriend. They had been together for six years or

604
00:31:28,090 --> 00:31:30,530
Speaker 2: something like that, a long time, and they were also

605
00:31:31,010 --> 00:31:35,330
Speaker 2: Tom's age, so I just was like, no, she lives

606
00:31:35,330 --> 00:31:38,090
Speaker 2: at her parents. She honestly, if I couldn't trust him,

607
00:31:38,090 --> 00:31:40,090
Speaker 2: I thought I could trust her. I was like, me

608
00:31:40,170 --> 00:31:42,530
Speaker 2: and her, you know, we're good friends.

609
00:31:42,570 --> 00:31:42,850
Speaker 3: Now.

610
00:31:43,290 --> 00:31:46,330
Speaker 2: I know she wouldn't do that to her partner, she

611
00:31:46,330 --> 00:31:49,370
Speaker 2: wouldn't do that to me. But I did always have

612
00:31:49,410 --> 00:31:52,050
Speaker 2: a little bit of a feeling that maybe she had

613
00:31:52,090 --> 00:31:55,930
Speaker 2: a bit of a crush on Tom, which, to be honest,

614
00:31:56,650 --> 00:32:01,610
Speaker 2: he's good looking, he's charismatic. She's probably not the first

615
00:32:01,610 --> 00:32:04,210
Speaker 2: one to have a little crush. I don't mind that

616
00:32:04,410 --> 00:32:06,810
Speaker 2: so much. But it was more that I just really

617
00:32:06,810 --> 00:32:09,810
Speaker 2: trusted her. So for me, I was like, you know,

618
00:32:09,890 --> 00:32:12,250
Speaker 2: maybe his phone was did it was a convenie vedience thing.

619
00:32:13,170 --> 00:32:15,650
Speaker 2: But I was anxious. I was an anxious miss I

620
00:32:15,810 --> 00:32:18,930
Speaker 2: was thinking, like, has he fallen over and he's been

621
00:32:18,970 --> 00:32:21,930
Speaker 2: too drunken, He's in a gutter somewhere, like I was thinking,

622
00:32:22,010 --> 00:32:24,530
Speaker 2: has he tried to get to the train station and

623
00:32:25,570 --> 00:32:27,090
Speaker 2: fallen asleep at the train station.

624
00:32:27,450 --> 00:32:31,170
Speaker 3: Has he ouber to the wrong house, like all those

625
00:32:31,210 --> 00:32:34,130
Speaker 3: things were going through my kids, just all the scenarios

626
00:32:34,210 --> 00:32:35,730
Speaker 3: and worst case scenarios.

627
00:32:36,290 --> 00:32:38,810
Speaker 2: At about eleven am, I finally heard from him. Wasn't

628
00:32:38,810 --> 00:32:42,610
Speaker 2: even a cool back. He texted me back saying, sorry,

629
00:32:42,730 --> 00:32:45,810
Speaker 2: crashed at Sophie's phone died, She's going to drop me

630
00:32:45,850 --> 00:32:46,290
Speaker 2: home now.

631
00:32:47,250 --> 00:32:49,850
Speaker 3: And obviously I was relieved to hear from him finally.

632
00:32:49,570 --> 00:32:53,970
Speaker 2: But I was also a bit Okay, why is it

633
00:32:54,010 --> 00:32:57,410
Speaker 2: eleven o'clock? You know, if you're sleeping over at her place,

634
00:32:57,770 --> 00:32:59,970
Speaker 2: at her parents house, you know, I would expect him

635
00:32:59,970 --> 00:33:03,730
Speaker 2: to be on the couch or something and probably wouldn't

636
00:33:03,730 --> 00:33:06,090
Speaker 2: be sleeping into eleven am on your friend's parents couch.

637
00:33:06,170 --> 00:33:09,810
Speaker 3: So I was just a bit bit weirded out. So

638
00:33:11,290 --> 00:33:12,490
Speaker 3: ended up being another.

639
00:33:12,250 --> 00:33:15,370
Speaker 2: Couple of hours till he finally got home in his suit,

640
00:33:15,530 --> 00:33:18,330
Speaker 2: still from the ball. And when he finally got home,

641
00:33:18,370 --> 00:33:20,130
Speaker 2: and I've been calling him, like you said you were

642
00:33:20,170 --> 00:33:22,970
Speaker 2: getting dropped home an hour ago, like where are you now,

643
00:33:23,570 --> 00:33:26,810
Speaker 2: and he just wouldn't answer again. And when he finally

644
00:33:26,810 --> 00:33:29,490
Speaker 2: came through the door and he was like, oh, sorry,

645
00:33:29,890 --> 00:33:33,730
Speaker 2: we just went out for lunch. That was what really

646
00:33:34,530 --> 00:33:37,970
Speaker 2: just took me back because I was like, wait what

647
00:33:38,570 --> 00:33:40,570
Speaker 2: He was like, yeah, we were hungry, so we stopped

648
00:33:40,570 --> 00:33:43,090
Speaker 2: for lunch on the way back. But I remember thinking,

649
00:33:44,130 --> 00:33:47,890
Speaker 2: not that anything had happened, but thinking worrying to myself,

650
00:33:48,410 --> 00:33:50,330
Speaker 2: does he want to spend time with her more than

651
00:33:50,330 --> 00:33:52,490
Speaker 2: he wants to spend time with me? Like should I

652
00:33:52,570 --> 00:33:56,170
Speaker 2: be worrying that he's not excited to come home to

653
00:33:56,450 --> 00:33:59,370
Speaker 2: his partner of four years when he can just hang

654
00:33:59,410 --> 00:34:01,090
Speaker 2: out with her and go out for lunch with her

655
00:34:01,690 --> 00:34:06,250
Speaker 2: while I'm at home in albeit And so that was hurtfull.

656
00:34:07,210 --> 00:34:10,450
Speaker 2: He wasn't apologetic at all. No, he was just blase.

657
00:34:11,210 --> 00:34:13,050
Speaker 2: He was like like, oh, I need to have a

658
00:34:13,090 --> 00:34:17,530
Speaker 2: shower and hungover. And I was more just like, you

659
00:34:17,650 --> 00:34:20,650
Speaker 2: need to tell me when things like that are happening,

660
00:34:20,690 --> 00:34:21,410
Speaker 2: Like I can't.

661
00:34:21,450 --> 00:34:22,650
Speaker 3: I was so worried.

662
00:34:22,690 --> 00:34:24,370
Speaker 2: I was like, if that was me and you couldn't

663
00:34:24,370 --> 00:34:26,410
Speaker 2: get in hold in touch with me for you know,

664
00:34:26,530 --> 00:34:29,530
Speaker 2: twelve hours, you'd be calling the police, like you'd be

665
00:34:29,610 --> 00:34:30,490
Speaker 2: so worried.

666
00:34:31,090 --> 00:34:32,050
Speaker 3: You can't just go.

667
00:34:31,930 --> 00:34:34,930
Speaker 2: That long without telling me, you know, especially you know

668
00:34:34,970 --> 00:34:37,250
Speaker 2: when we lived together and you are my one support

669
00:34:37,290 --> 00:34:41,370
Speaker 2: person here and without you, I don't have any family.

670
00:34:41,410 --> 00:34:43,610
Speaker 3: I don't have. I have the people that I lived with,

671
00:34:43,650 --> 00:34:46,170
Speaker 3: but I hadn't even had the chance to form those

672
00:34:46,690 --> 00:34:48,170
Speaker 3: really strong friendships yet.

673
00:34:48,930 --> 00:34:51,210
Speaker 1: For all of these reasons, Molly didn't harp on her

674
00:34:51,210 --> 00:34:53,650
Speaker 1: any longer. She let Tom know how it made her

675
00:34:53,650 --> 00:34:56,250
Speaker 1: feel that day, and they moved on. It was one

676
00:34:56,330 --> 00:34:59,890
Speaker 1: drunken night of people in their early twenties making poor decisions.

677
00:35:00,530 --> 00:35:02,930
Speaker 2: I really don't think I thought too much of it

678
00:35:03,330 --> 00:35:06,610
Speaker 2: after that. I just sort of push it under the bug,

679
00:35:06,690 --> 00:35:11,090
Speaker 2: I guess, and sort of continued on. And then there

680
00:35:11,130 --> 00:35:14,330
Speaker 2: was one time where we went out for after work

681
00:35:14,410 --> 00:35:17,330
Speaker 2: drinks and I met them. We were supposed to go

682
00:35:17,450 --> 00:35:19,570
Speaker 2: away that week, Hint and me and his brother. His

683
00:35:19,610 --> 00:35:21,890
Speaker 2: brother had just moved over from New Zealand and was

684
00:35:21,930 --> 00:35:24,650
Speaker 2: living with us, and we were supposed to go away.

685
00:35:24,890 --> 00:35:27,610
Speaker 3: So me and his brother had like packed up the car,

686
00:35:28,010 --> 00:35:29,490
Speaker 3: put all the surfboards.

687
00:35:28,970 --> 00:35:31,250
Speaker 2: In everything, and then we said to him, we'll pick

688
00:35:31,290 --> 00:35:33,770
Speaker 2: you up on our way through and we'll drive straight down.

689
00:35:34,290 --> 00:35:37,610
Speaker 2: And so we get there and he was like, park,

690
00:35:38,090 --> 00:35:40,690
Speaker 2: you know, just park up and we'll have one drink

691
00:35:40,730 --> 00:35:42,450
Speaker 2: and then you know, comes so hard to the work friends,

692
00:35:42,450 --> 00:35:44,290
Speaker 2: and then we'll go from there. And so I was

693
00:35:44,330 --> 00:35:47,530
Speaker 2: literally in my puffa jacket, like in my full camping. Yeah,

694
00:35:47,570 --> 00:35:50,450
Speaker 2: and we show up and you know, of course he

695
00:35:50,810 --> 00:35:54,970
Speaker 2: looks already half smashed. So I was like, great, okay,

696
00:35:55,010 --> 00:35:56,650
Speaker 2: and you know, I went and sat next to Sophie

697
00:35:56,690 --> 00:35:58,930
Speaker 2: and we were chatting and sort of got like an

698
00:35:58,970 --> 00:36:01,730
Speaker 2: hour we'd passing, got a you know, seven eight pm,

699
00:36:01,850 --> 00:36:04,650
Speaker 2: and I was like to the boys, okay, like, you

700
00:36:04,690 --> 00:36:06,170
Speaker 2: guys have both had too much a drink, so I'm

701
00:36:06,170 --> 00:36:07,930
Speaker 2: going to need to drive now, but like we should go.

702
00:36:08,450 --> 00:36:10,330
Speaker 2: He's like, no, we should just have a night out

703
00:36:10,410 --> 00:36:13,290
Speaker 2: instead it and we will drive down really early tomorrow.

704
00:36:13,330 --> 00:36:16,650
Speaker 2: He even said we can sleep in the car in

705
00:36:16,690 --> 00:36:19,450
Speaker 2: the car park and then just drive down. He said

706
00:36:19,450 --> 00:36:21,850
Speaker 2: we could just send it tonight. And I was like,

707
00:36:22,010 --> 00:36:24,170
Speaker 2: oh my god. And at that point I was at

708
00:36:24,170 --> 00:36:27,250
Speaker 2: my WIT's end, and Sophie noticed and she took me

709
00:36:28,130 --> 00:36:31,810
Speaker 2: to the bathroom. She looked at me and she was like,

710
00:36:32,130 --> 00:36:34,850
Speaker 2: I don't know how you do it. I was crying,

711
00:36:34,890 --> 00:36:37,930
Speaker 2: and I was just like, there's no point in me

712
00:36:38,010 --> 00:36:40,810
Speaker 2: even trying it. It's just like my whole weekends already

713
00:36:40,930 --> 00:36:44,290
Speaker 2: just ruins, because you know, we're supposed to drive down

714
00:36:44,410 --> 00:36:47,410
Speaker 2: and have this weaken away camping and now it's all

715
00:36:47,450 --> 00:36:51,250
Speaker 2: gone out the window. So yeah, I stayed with them

716
00:36:51,290 --> 00:36:52,770
Speaker 2: for a little bit, and then I was like, I'm

717
00:36:52,810 --> 00:36:55,730
Speaker 2: just going to go home. And Tom was just being

718
00:36:55,770 --> 00:36:59,250
Speaker 2: like super rude this whole night, you know, just like

719
00:36:59,730 --> 00:37:00,570
Speaker 2: you know, lighting up.

720
00:37:00,610 --> 00:37:01,210
Speaker 3: Who cares.

721
00:37:01,530 --> 00:37:04,370
Speaker 2: We'll go down tomorrow morning, it will be fine. And

722
00:37:04,450 --> 00:37:05,970
Speaker 2: I was just like, all right, well, I'm going to

723
00:37:06,050 --> 00:37:08,850
Speaker 2: go back home. We did end up going away early

724
00:37:09,290 --> 00:37:12,010
Speaker 2: next morning, and me and him had a really big

725
00:37:12,130 --> 00:37:14,570
Speaker 2: chat while we were down and down south, and I

726
00:37:14,570 --> 00:37:18,050
Speaker 2: said to him like, I'm just over this whole situation.

727
00:37:18,610 --> 00:37:22,250
Speaker 2: I just can't be doing stuff like that. But I

728
00:37:22,330 --> 00:37:25,610
Speaker 2: have nowhere to go. Even if I wanted to break

729
00:37:25,690 --> 00:37:28,090
Speaker 2: up with him, I didn't have any family I could

730
00:37:28,090 --> 00:37:31,050
Speaker 2: just go stay with His brother was now living with us.

731
00:37:31,410 --> 00:37:33,650
Speaker 2: You know, I didn't really have friends that had speared

732
00:37:33,730 --> 00:37:35,610
Speaker 2: rooms in their house. It was just really hard to

733
00:37:36,210 --> 00:37:37,970
Speaker 2: And then I was also had that pressure of I

734
00:37:38,010 --> 00:37:41,490
Speaker 2: don't want to go back to New Zealand and be like, hey, guys,

735
00:37:41,650 --> 00:37:44,130
Speaker 2: like I'm back six months later, and so I was

736
00:37:44,170 --> 00:37:48,330
Speaker 2: just sort of like getting on with it, and maybe

737
00:37:48,370 --> 00:37:52,730
Speaker 2: even only a few weeks later. There's another incident where

738
00:37:53,370 --> 00:37:56,890
Speaker 2: we meet up on a Thursday night for drinks, it was,

739
00:37:56,930 --> 00:37:59,850
Speaker 2: but at this time it was just me, Tom, his brother,

740
00:37:59,930 --> 00:38:01,850
Speaker 2: and our other friend and they were just having a

741
00:38:01,930 --> 00:38:04,290
Speaker 2: drink after work and I we'd to meet them and

742
00:38:04,490 --> 00:38:07,570
Speaker 2: you know, super chill. It got to about like nineteen

743
00:38:07,610 --> 00:38:09,370
Speaker 2: o'clock and I was like, all right, I'm going to go,

744
00:38:09,490 --> 00:38:12,050
Speaker 2: and he's like, yep, love you. I'm going to the

745
00:38:12,410 --> 00:38:15,090
Speaker 2: next train home. You know, I'll finish my beer and

746
00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:18,330
Speaker 2: me and the boys be home soon. Then at about midnight,

747
00:38:18,490 --> 00:38:20,970
Speaker 2: I woke up, so I remember going to sleep thinking,

748
00:38:21,610 --> 00:38:24,170
Speaker 2: but I hope he's home soon, because it's definitely been

749
00:38:24,210 --> 00:38:27,410
Speaker 2: longer than like an hour at this point. But it's

750
00:38:27,410 --> 00:38:29,370
Speaker 2: a Thursday night, so I really wasn't expecting him to

751
00:38:29,370 --> 00:38:31,530
Speaker 2: be home that late. And then I woke up at

752
00:38:31,530 --> 00:38:33,970
Speaker 2: about midnight to the sound of the boys coming home

753
00:38:34,410 --> 00:38:35,970
Speaker 2: and they'd gone around.

754
00:38:35,730 --> 00:38:37,410
Speaker 3: The side of the house. So I was sort of

755
00:38:37,450 --> 00:38:39,010
Speaker 3: like woke up and I was waiting.

756
00:38:38,690 --> 00:38:42,890
Speaker 2: For Tom to come through the door, and when he didn't,

757
00:38:43,010 --> 00:38:45,610
Speaker 2: I got up and I went outside into the living

758
00:38:45,650 --> 00:38:49,050
Speaker 2: room and all who was sitting there was his brother

759
00:38:49,650 --> 00:38:52,250
Speaker 2: and our other friend, and they sort of looked at me,

760
00:38:52,330 --> 00:38:54,530
Speaker 2: and I looked at them, and I was like, oh,

761
00:38:54,530 --> 00:38:56,490
Speaker 2: where's Tom And.

762
00:38:56,450 --> 00:39:00,330
Speaker 3: They were like, oh, he left not long after you.

763
00:39:01,090 --> 00:39:01,850
Speaker 3: Is he not home.

764
00:39:03,570 --> 00:39:08,010
Speaker 2: I tried to call Tom, his phone.

765
00:39:07,770 --> 00:39:11,850
Speaker 3: Wasn't going through, was completely off. So I was freaking out,

766
00:39:11,890 --> 00:39:15,090
Speaker 3: like more so than the other night. I was absolutely

767
00:39:15,130 --> 00:39:15,650
Speaker 3: freaking out.

768
00:39:15,690 --> 00:39:18,050
Speaker 2: And I said to them, I was like, I'm gonna

769
00:39:18,250 --> 00:39:21,770
Speaker 2: like his car's at the train station, like maybe he's

770
00:39:22,090 --> 00:39:24,930
Speaker 2: fallen asleep at his car or had too much to

771
00:39:25,050 --> 00:39:27,570
Speaker 2: drink and then decided to take a nap before you know,

772
00:39:27,570 --> 00:39:30,570
Speaker 2: he could drive, or maybe he's crashed, like I don't know.

773
00:39:30,850 --> 00:39:32,610
Speaker 3: And I was freaking out.

774
00:39:32,450 --> 00:39:34,330
Speaker 2: And so they were like, well, we can drive you

775
00:39:34,370 --> 00:39:38,250
Speaker 2: and I was like, no, I'll drive. And so eventually

776
00:39:38,290 --> 00:39:40,290
Speaker 2: I'd got in the car and started driving to the

777
00:39:40,330 --> 00:39:42,730
Speaker 2: train station. At this point, it's you know, almost one

778
00:39:42,730 --> 00:39:48,330
Speaker 2: in the morning, and he finally, guess his phone turned

779
00:39:48,330 --> 00:39:52,450
Speaker 2: on and he called me and he was like, I'm sorry,

780
00:39:52,490 --> 00:39:55,930
Speaker 2: I bumped into Pat from work. We're having a couple

781
00:39:55,970 --> 00:39:56,250
Speaker 2: of beers.

782
00:39:56,250 --> 00:39:58,450
Speaker 3: I'm in the city. I'll uber home now.

783
00:39:59,050 --> 00:40:01,210
Speaker 2: I went back home and got into bed again, and

784
00:40:01,410 --> 00:40:03,290
Speaker 2: I couldn't sleep because I was just waiting for him

785
00:40:03,290 --> 00:40:05,970
Speaker 2: to come home and he just didn't come home again

786
00:40:06,010 --> 00:40:08,050
Speaker 2: for an hour, and every time I went to go

787
00:40:08,130 --> 00:40:10,770
Speaker 2: call him to chick rears, it's like his phone was

788
00:40:10,810 --> 00:40:11,530
Speaker 2: turned off again.

789
00:40:12,130 --> 00:40:15,850
Speaker 3: And then eventually again it turned on and he called

790
00:40:15,890 --> 00:40:17,650
Speaker 3: me and he was like, sorry, sorry, I'm in the

791
00:40:17,730 --> 00:40:20,850
Speaker 3: uber now I'm coming through and he said this area

792
00:40:21,010 --> 00:40:24,330
Speaker 3: and I immediately clicked and I was like, well, you

793
00:40:24,330 --> 00:40:26,370
Speaker 3: wouldn't go through that area if you were coming from

794
00:40:26,370 --> 00:40:29,050
Speaker 3: the city though, and then he was like, oh, I

795
00:40:29,050 --> 00:40:29,370
Speaker 3: don't know.

796
00:40:29,410 --> 00:40:31,930
Speaker 2: They must have just gone that way and I was

797
00:40:32,010 --> 00:40:35,730
Speaker 2: like okay, And in my head, I was like, he's

798
00:40:35,770 --> 00:40:36,770
Speaker 2: not coming from the city.

799
00:40:36,810 --> 00:40:39,690
Speaker 3: He's coming from somewhere else. He's coming from like a

800
00:40:39,770 --> 00:40:41,570
Speaker 3: girl's place. This isn't on.

801
00:40:42,050 --> 00:40:44,730
Speaker 2: So when he got home, he walks in and he

802
00:40:44,730 --> 00:40:47,370
Speaker 2: can't even look at me and hit it straight for

803
00:40:47,450 --> 00:40:48,970
Speaker 2: the shower and we had an on sweet and I

804
00:40:49,090 --> 00:40:51,090
Speaker 2: was like, give me your phone and I was like,

805
00:40:51,090 --> 00:40:53,530
Speaker 2: I want to see your uber. He was like, no,

806
00:40:53,930 --> 00:40:56,410
Speaker 2: I'm not giving you my phone. And I was like,

807
00:40:57,250 --> 00:40:59,930
Speaker 2: if you're not lying about where you came from, then

808
00:40:59,970 --> 00:41:02,250
Speaker 2: you can show me your uber. And I was like,

809
00:41:02,290 --> 00:41:04,370
Speaker 2: where did you uber from? And he was like, I

810
00:41:04,450 --> 00:41:07,130
Speaker 2: ubered from the city. I told you, And I was like, no,

811
00:41:07,570 --> 00:41:08,570
Speaker 2: I don't believe you.

812
00:41:08,610 --> 00:41:09,130
Speaker 3: I'm sorry.

813
00:41:09,330 --> 00:41:11,570
Speaker 2: Can you just show me if you're really telling the truth?

814
00:41:11,810 --> 00:41:14,130
Speaker 2: Can show me your uber ride? And I was like,

815
00:41:14,170 --> 00:41:16,290
Speaker 2: this is is an ending up and he was like fine.

816
00:41:16,730 --> 00:41:18,450
Speaker 2: He gave me his phone and I looked at it

817
00:41:18,890 --> 00:41:22,490
Speaker 2: and it was from a random suburb, not the city,

818
00:41:23,010 --> 00:41:24,890
Speaker 2: and he was like, we ended up going back to

819
00:41:25,450 --> 00:41:26,250
Speaker 2: Pat's house.

820
00:41:26,810 --> 00:41:28,130
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just didn't mention it.

821
00:41:28,850 --> 00:41:31,450
Speaker 2: And I was like, Pat is in his mid forties,

822
00:41:31,490 --> 00:41:34,210
Speaker 2: he's married with three kids. You're not going back to

823
00:41:34,250 --> 00:41:37,890
Speaker 2: his for kick ons on a Thursday. That just is

824
00:41:37,930 --> 00:41:41,330
Speaker 2: not happening. And he just like looked at me in

825
00:41:41,330 --> 00:41:43,370
Speaker 2: the eyes and he was like, I'm not lying to you.

826
00:41:43,930 --> 00:41:46,810
Speaker 2: And it's funny because he's done this before. And I

827
00:41:46,890 --> 00:41:51,010
Speaker 2: just remember thinking you were so lying, like it's so obvious,

828
00:41:51,090 --> 00:41:54,290
Speaker 2: like just such a terrible liar. And he just couldn't

829
00:41:54,290 --> 00:41:55,970
Speaker 2: even believe his own lies. I don't think at that

830
00:41:56,010 --> 00:41:58,490
Speaker 2: point he was like I'm not lying to you. And

831
00:41:58,530 --> 00:42:01,410
Speaker 2: I was like, yes, you are, Like you are lying

832
00:42:01,410 --> 00:42:03,170
Speaker 2: to me and there's just no doubt in my mind

833
00:42:03,770 --> 00:42:06,970
Speaker 2: and he was like I'm not. And then yeah, I

834
00:42:07,010 --> 00:42:09,650
Speaker 2: went to sleep and I made a decision in that moment,

835
00:42:09,690 --> 00:42:12,410
Speaker 2: I was like, I don't care what I have to do.

836
00:42:13,010 --> 00:42:15,210
Speaker 3: I'm getting out of this situation.

837
00:42:16,210 --> 00:42:18,770
Speaker 1: But it wasn't that easy. Well, Molly knew she wanted

838
00:42:18,810 --> 00:42:21,610
Speaker 1: to get out. She literally didn't have anywhere else to go,

839
00:42:22,330 --> 00:42:24,210
Speaker 1: and to get further in the way of her finding

840
00:42:24,250 --> 00:42:27,090
Speaker 1: somewhere else and upending her whole life, she was booked

841
00:42:27,090 --> 00:42:30,610
Speaker 1: in for a hip reconstruction back in New Zealand. Life

842
00:42:30,610 --> 00:42:33,250
Speaker 1: and timing right to absolute bitches.

843
00:42:33,850 --> 00:42:38,170
Speaker 2: When I came back, I was on crutches, couldn't move,

844
00:42:38,210 --> 00:42:41,210
Speaker 2: couldn't go to the bathroom or the shower by myself.

845
00:42:41,930 --> 00:42:45,130
Speaker 3: So I was in a very very vulnerable position.

846
00:42:45,210 --> 00:42:48,210
Speaker 2: I was had to be on crutches for I think

847
00:42:48,370 --> 00:42:52,730
Speaker 2: three months, three to six months, and about a week

848
00:42:52,890 --> 00:42:55,290
Speaker 2: after I got home, literally not even a week, I

849
00:42:55,290 --> 00:42:56,770
Speaker 2: don't think. I think he picked me up from the

850
00:42:56,810 --> 00:43:00,970
Speaker 2: airport on the Sunday. The following Saturday, it was Sophie's birthday,

851
00:43:01,730 --> 00:43:05,330
Speaker 2: and so she had invited us to go to out

852
00:43:05,410 --> 00:43:07,930
Speaker 2: to a bar for her birthday, you know, with her family,

853
00:43:08,570 --> 00:43:10,530
Speaker 2: her partner and few of her friends.

854
00:43:11,730 --> 00:43:11,970
Speaker 3: Both.

855
00:43:12,010 --> 00:43:15,330
Speaker 2: You know, you got ready and we went, and you know,

856
00:43:15,370 --> 00:43:18,050
Speaker 2: it was a really nice night. Tom was actually being

857
00:43:18,090 --> 00:43:21,370
Speaker 2: really caring, and you know, he's making sure I've got

858
00:43:21,370 --> 00:43:24,490
Speaker 2: everything I needed. And she kept being like, oh, let

859
00:43:24,530 --> 00:43:26,770
Speaker 2: my dad get you a drink. Don't pay for your drinks,

860
00:43:26,810 --> 00:43:29,730
Speaker 2: and da da da, and I remember her saying like,

861
00:43:29,770 --> 00:43:31,810
Speaker 2: I'm so so mad that you came.

862
00:43:31,890 --> 00:43:33,050
Speaker 3: I'm so glad that you're here.

863
00:43:33,810 --> 00:43:37,690
Speaker 2: And yeah, I obviously because I was on crutches, I

864
00:43:37,690 --> 00:43:39,250
Speaker 2: couldn't go out or anything, and they all wanted to

865
00:43:39,330 --> 00:43:42,650
Speaker 2: go out into town and into the city, and so

866
00:43:42,690 --> 00:43:44,330
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, I'm just going to go home.

867
00:43:44,370 --> 00:43:48,290
Speaker 2: And Tom walked me to the uber, you know, said

868
00:43:48,330 --> 00:43:51,050
Speaker 2: you know, I'm not gonna have a late one, love you,

869
00:43:51,050 --> 00:43:53,650
Speaker 2: you know, it was all good, and just put me

870
00:43:53,650 --> 00:43:57,250
Speaker 2: in the Uber and I went home. Of course, that

871
00:43:57,410 --> 00:44:01,090
Speaker 2: same night I did not hear from him, went home,

872
00:44:01,130 --> 00:44:04,570
Speaker 2: went to bed, and woke up around like three or

873
00:44:04,610 --> 00:44:09,730
Speaker 2: four am. Nothing, couldn't get hold of him. Phone was

874
00:44:09,730 --> 00:44:15,490
Speaker 2: off again, and I just was like, you are kidding.

875
00:44:15,690 --> 00:44:18,810
Speaker 3: I've just had surgery. I can't do anything on my

876
00:44:18,850 --> 00:44:19,770
Speaker 3: own litt alone.

877
00:44:20,090 --> 00:44:22,810
Speaker 2: I've already got enough on my plate and he can't

878
00:44:22,810 --> 00:44:25,970
Speaker 2: even come home to me, Like this is a millionth

879
00:44:26,090 --> 00:44:29,930
Speaker 2: time that this has happened, and I'm just so I can't.

880
00:44:29,570 --> 00:44:30,250
Speaker 3: Do it anymore.

881
00:44:30,970 --> 00:44:34,650
Speaker 2: So he finally comes home at seven am that morning,

882
00:44:35,530 --> 00:44:37,570
Speaker 2: and he can't tell me where he is. And I

883
00:44:37,650 --> 00:44:40,290
Speaker 2: have actually messaged Sophia quite a few times at this point,

884
00:44:40,330 --> 00:44:42,370
Speaker 2: you know, okay, have you seen him?

885
00:44:43,090 --> 00:44:44,130
Speaker 3: Yeah? And nothing.

886
00:44:44,570 --> 00:44:47,610
Speaker 2: She messaged me back the next morning saying, sorry, we

887
00:44:47,650 --> 00:44:49,890
Speaker 2: came home at this time, not sure where he is.

888
00:44:50,610 --> 00:44:54,530
Speaker 2: When he came home, I just got up and I

889
00:44:54,570 --> 00:44:56,930
Speaker 2: didn't talk to him for the whole day. We went

890
00:44:56,970 --> 00:45:00,090
Speaker 2: to our brien's birthday and he was trying to help

891
00:45:00,090 --> 00:45:01,810
Speaker 2: me with my crutches and everything, and I was like,

892
00:45:02,010 --> 00:45:05,450
Speaker 2: don't help me, and then he didn't talk to me

893
00:45:05,570 --> 00:45:08,010
Speaker 2: for the rest of the day. He went to bed

894
00:45:08,090 --> 00:45:09,610
Speaker 2: really early that night because he.

895
00:45:09,570 --> 00:45:10,690
Speaker 3: Was hungover and tired.

896
00:45:10,770 --> 00:45:13,530
Speaker 2: And the next day it was a Monday, and he

897
00:45:13,570 --> 00:45:16,090
Speaker 2: got up super early and went to work and.

898
00:45:16,210 --> 00:45:19,650
Speaker 3: Didn't say goodbye or anything. I think he knew what

899
00:45:19,930 --> 00:45:21,290
Speaker 3: I was thinking and what was coming.

900
00:45:22,130 --> 00:45:25,250
Speaker 2: His brother had just moved into a place down the road,

901
00:45:25,690 --> 00:45:27,410
Speaker 2: and I knew they had a sphere room, so it

902
00:45:27,450 --> 00:45:29,890
Speaker 2: was kind of like my perfect opportunity to be like,

903
00:45:30,450 --> 00:45:34,210
Speaker 2: you're out, you've got a place to go. I said, okay,

904
00:45:34,210 --> 00:45:36,170
Speaker 2: when you get home tonight. We should have a talk.

905
00:45:36,450 --> 00:45:39,170
Speaker 2: And then he says, I'm not actually going to come home.

906
00:45:39,210 --> 00:45:42,570
Speaker 2: I'm going to stay at his brother's place. And I

907
00:45:42,650 --> 00:45:45,650
Speaker 2: was like, I really think we need to have a talk,

908
00:45:45,810 --> 00:45:49,370
Speaker 2: like I really appreciate if you came home, and he

909
00:45:49,530 --> 00:45:52,930
Speaker 2: was like no, like I'm not I'm not coming home.

910
00:45:54,010 --> 00:45:56,890
Speaker 2: And so I called him after he finished work. He

911
00:45:56,930 --> 00:45:59,490
Speaker 2: was on his way to his brothers and I just said,

912
00:46:00,130 --> 00:46:02,370
Speaker 2: you know the conversation that we're going to have, like

913
00:46:02,410 --> 00:46:04,410
Speaker 2: I just need you to come home because.

914
00:46:04,210 --> 00:46:08,290
Speaker 3: I cannot do this over the phone again. You cannot.

915
00:46:08,290 --> 00:46:10,410
Speaker 2: This is just cruel at this point, Like you know

916
00:46:10,770 --> 00:46:13,650
Speaker 2: how unhappy I I've been like a shell of myself

917
00:46:14,090 --> 00:46:18,050
Speaker 2: the last few weeks months. I can't go one more second.

918
00:46:18,130 --> 00:46:21,090
Speaker 2: Like that was my final straw. He just kept saying

919
00:46:21,090 --> 00:46:23,730
Speaker 2: that we're not breaking up, we're not breaking up, and

920
00:46:23,770 --> 00:46:26,330
Speaker 2: I was like, you've left me no choice and I

921
00:46:26,370 --> 00:46:28,450
Speaker 2: was like, give me one black reason to stay with

922
00:46:28,490 --> 00:46:31,730
Speaker 2: you and that he just said nothing, And I was like,

923
00:46:32,410 --> 00:46:35,770
Speaker 2: if you can't come home, then you know that's on you.

924
00:46:35,850 --> 00:46:38,090
Speaker 3: But I don't. I'm done. I'm so done.

925
00:46:38,170 --> 00:46:42,250
Speaker 2: Now he went silent and I hung up. I was

926
00:46:42,650 --> 00:46:46,850
Speaker 2: so broken, so sad. This person I loved so much

927
00:46:46,930 --> 00:46:50,530
Speaker 2: and was supposed to starting our life together over here

928
00:46:50,690 --> 00:46:54,530
Speaker 2: was supposed to be you know, the beginning of something

929
00:46:54,850 --> 00:46:58,010
Speaker 2: like a new chapter, and it's just all gone to

930
00:46:58,090 --> 00:47:02,610
Speaker 2: shit really quickly. Yeah, And I was, yeah, a shell

931
00:47:02,650 --> 00:47:05,850
Speaker 2: of myself. And the next night I had some my

932
00:47:05,850 --> 00:47:08,930
Speaker 2: friends over and he came over to click some stuff

933
00:47:08,930 --> 00:47:11,930
Speaker 2: and I hadn't seen him in person yet, and I

934
00:47:12,010 --> 00:47:13,810
Speaker 2: went into our bedroom and he was standing in our

935
00:47:14,010 --> 00:47:16,050
Speaker 2: wardrobe and he was like, oh, I'm just grabbing some

936
00:47:16,130 --> 00:47:18,810
Speaker 2: things to stay my brother's for a couple more nights.

937
00:47:19,410 --> 00:47:22,850
Speaker 3: And I was like a couple more nights, Like what

938
00:47:22,890 --> 00:47:23,410
Speaker 3: do you mean?

939
00:47:23,650 --> 00:47:27,170
Speaker 2: And he was like, well, I'm just going to stay

940
00:47:27,170 --> 00:47:28,970
Speaker 2: there for a couple more nights. And I was like

941
00:47:29,690 --> 00:47:32,490
Speaker 2: I don't think you understand. I've broken up with you,

942
00:47:32,610 --> 00:47:35,730
Speaker 2: Like this is it? And then he like sat on

943
00:47:35,770 --> 00:47:38,330
Speaker 2: the beard and he was like, is this what you

944
00:47:38,370 --> 00:47:40,970
Speaker 2: really want? And I was like yes, like this is

945
00:47:41,370 --> 00:47:43,610
Speaker 2: obviously the situation. None of this is what I want,

946
00:47:43,930 --> 00:47:47,010
Speaker 2: but like I can't do it anymore. And then he

947
00:47:47,130 --> 00:47:48,010
Speaker 2: was like okay.

948
00:47:48,250 --> 00:47:50,450
Speaker 3: And you know, all of our stuff at that point,

949
00:47:50,610 --> 00:47:52,330
Speaker 3: everything's tied up. We've got a car together.

950
00:47:52,370 --> 00:47:54,890
Speaker 2: We've got beard, like all of our furniture everything, and

951
00:47:55,890 --> 00:47:58,970
Speaker 2: you know, his car. He loved his car, and I

952
00:47:59,050 --> 00:48:01,210
Speaker 2: was like, you have the car. He was like, you

953
00:48:01,210 --> 00:48:03,530
Speaker 2: have the bed, all the camping stuff, all the other

954
00:48:03,570 --> 00:48:07,810
Speaker 2: stuff sought out. We'll just divvy it up. And yeah,

955
00:48:08,050 --> 00:48:11,290
Speaker 2: that was the start of what felt like.

956
00:48:12,930 --> 00:48:13,410
Speaker 3: Divorce.

957
00:48:16,330 --> 00:48:19,290
Speaker 2: The first few weeks were fine, and then all of

958
00:48:19,330 --> 00:48:22,570
Speaker 2: a sudden, he messages me out of the blue, have

959
00:48:22,650 --> 00:48:23,690
Speaker 2: you got a new beard yet?

960
00:48:23,850 --> 00:48:26,250
Speaker 3: That's my beard and I need it. And I just.

961
00:48:26,250 --> 00:48:29,210
Speaker 2: Kept playing super nice, and because I knew he wanted

962
00:48:29,170 --> 00:48:32,650
Speaker 2: to reaction, I just kept saying, sure, yep, I'll buy

963
00:48:32,650 --> 00:48:35,210
Speaker 2: a new beard, no worries, not that you've already taken

964
00:48:35,290 --> 00:48:38,250
Speaker 2: the car and the bed, and not to mention you know,

965
00:48:38,570 --> 00:48:41,450
Speaker 2: I moved here for your job and you've literally left

966
00:48:41,490 --> 00:48:42,450
Speaker 2: me with like nothing.

967
00:48:43,250 --> 00:48:47,090
Speaker 3: Two months are probably one of the hardest times of

968
00:48:47,130 --> 00:48:47,570
Speaker 3: my life.

969
00:48:47,650 --> 00:48:50,890
Speaker 2: Like I was a absolute shell, like not being able

970
00:48:50,930 --> 00:48:54,210
Speaker 2: to walk, still being in pain, but then just being

971
00:48:54,490 --> 00:48:59,330
Speaker 2: so heartbroken, like I didn't know should I go home,

972
00:48:59,650 --> 00:49:01,930
Speaker 2: Like all of me was saying go home, go home,

973
00:49:01,970 --> 00:49:03,650
Speaker 2: but then the other part of me was saying, like

974
00:49:03,690 --> 00:49:06,050
Speaker 2: I really love my job, you know, I made all

975
00:49:06,050 --> 00:49:09,090
Speaker 2: these friends here. I also just was so worried about

976
00:49:09,130 --> 00:49:11,330
Speaker 2: giving up, and like what that looks like? I felt

977
00:49:11,330 --> 00:49:15,170
Speaker 2: like such a failure, Like I've moved countries and everything's

978
00:49:15,210 --> 00:49:19,050
Speaker 2: gone to shit and I've blacked the relationship has failed.

979
00:49:19,090 --> 00:49:22,530
Speaker 2: And yeah, it was just awful, like really really awful time.

980
00:49:23,170 --> 00:49:26,770
Speaker 2: I had no proof that he had cheated on me again,

981
00:49:27,370 --> 00:49:30,330
Speaker 2: but I knew in my cart that he had, but

982
00:49:30,450 --> 00:49:33,170
Speaker 2: I just had nothing, like I couldn't say you cheated

983
00:49:33,210 --> 00:49:36,250
Speaker 2: on me, or I couldn't go forward going I don't

984
00:49:36,250 --> 00:49:38,490
Speaker 2: love this person anymore because they did this to me.

985
00:49:38,850 --> 00:49:40,210
Speaker 3: You know. It was just so hard.

986
00:49:40,690 --> 00:49:43,770
Speaker 1: So here she was, after everything, all the trust she'd

987
00:49:43,770 --> 00:49:46,770
Speaker 1: given him and all the chances, it still ended up

988
00:49:46,810 --> 00:49:49,410
Speaker 1: this way. So as best she could, she tried to

989
00:49:49,450 --> 00:49:52,010
Speaker 1: heal the hurt and move on with her life. What

990
00:49:52,170 --> 00:49:54,690
Speaker 1: she needed was a good old fashioned girls trip with

991
00:49:54,770 --> 00:49:56,410
Speaker 1: no boys and no drama.

992
00:49:57,170 --> 00:50:00,930
Speaker 2: I went down South get away. It was like a

993
00:50:00,970 --> 00:50:03,330
Speaker 2: long weekend. It was just a girl's trip. We were

994
00:50:03,330 --> 00:50:07,930
Speaker 2: going surfing. And that week he had messaged me. I'd

995
00:50:07,930 --> 00:50:09,730
Speaker 2: actually told him in Simma, can you stop?

996
00:50:10,330 --> 00:50:11,410
Speaker 3: It's time? I can't need it.

997
00:50:11,450 --> 00:50:15,770
Speaker 2: A really needs space, And I said let's just cut

998
00:50:15,850 --> 00:50:20,610
Speaker 2: Combs New Year's rolls around and he had texted me

999
00:50:20,890 --> 00:50:24,010
Speaker 2: Happy New Year, Molly, do you still have our gray

1000
00:50:24,170 --> 00:50:28,010
Speaker 2: camping mattress? I was already annoyed that he even messaged

1001
00:50:28,010 --> 00:50:31,010
Speaker 2: me to begin with, because he had messaged one of

1002
00:50:31,050 --> 00:50:33,090
Speaker 2: my friends that who we used to live together with

1003
00:50:33,130 --> 00:50:36,010
Speaker 2: and said, do you know if Molly still has this

1004
00:50:36,090 --> 00:50:38,730
Speaker 2: gray mattress? And my friend was like, well, yeah, it's

1005
00:50:38,770 --> 00:50:41,010
Speaker 2: at our place, but I can drop it round.

1006
00:50:41,050 --> 00:50:43,010
Speaker 3: You don't need to message her for it. But of

1007
00:50:43,010 --> 00:50:44,370
Speaker 3: course he messages.

1008
00:50:43,930 --> 00:50:47,250
Speaker 2: Me and I said, yeah, I'll leave it outside and

1009
00:50:47,290 --> 00:50:48,970
Speaker 2: he was like cool, sweet, thanks.

1010
00:50:49,210 --> 00:50:51,170
Speaker 3: So I knew that he was going away that weekend

1011
00:50:51,210 --> 00:50:51,570
Speaker 3: as well.

1012
00:50:52,090 --> 00:50:54,810
Speaker 2: So fast forward to the weekend away and we get

1013
00:50:54,890 --> 00:50:56,810
Speaker 2: up really early on the Saturday morning to go check

1014
00:50:56,810 --> 00:51:01,570
Speaker 2: the surf and I was literally just looking out to

1015
00:51:01,610 --> 00:51:05,170
Speaker 2: the surf and I see his car in the corner

1016
00:51:05,170 --> 00:51:07,170
Speaker 2: of my eye and I was like, to the girls,

1017
00:51:07,730 --> 00:51:11,570
Speaker 2: oh God, it's Tom. And it was just so busy

1018
00:51:11,810 --> 00:51:15,930
Speaker 2: because we were in a random car park, random surf break.

1019
00:51:16,490 --> 00:51:19,090
Speaker 2: There's so many other places he could have been. And

1020
00:51:19,130 --> 00:51:23,010
Speaker 2: then I see the side passenger door open and I

1021
00:51:23,050 --> 00:51:28,530
Speaker 2: see Sophie get out and my stomach just dropped, and

1022
00:51:28,530 --> 00:51:31,290
Speaker 2: I was so confused, and I was like, to the

1023
00:51:31,330 --> 00:51:33,330
Speaker 2: girl's wait, why is Sophie here?

1024
00:51:34,090 --> 00:51:36,650
Speaker 3: I'm so confused. This is a work trip.

1025
00:51:37,570 --> 00:51:41,050
Speaker 2: And I was really confused because it had only been

1026
00:51:41,610 --> 00:51:44,610
Speaker 2: a week or so before that that Sophie had been

1027
00:51:44,650 --> 00:51:48,610
Speaker 2: in Japan with her partner. So they had been away

1028
00:51:48,970 --> 00:51:52,290
Speaker 2: over like the New Year's period or whatever Christmas, and

1029
00:51:53,050 --> 00:51:55,650
Speaker 2: so that was the last thing I saw sort of

1030
00:51:55,690 --> 00:51:58,610
Speaker 2: on social media of her, and I had missage how

1031
00:51:58,650 --> 00:52:00,250
Speaker 2: to be like, you know, let me know when you're back,

1032
00:52:00,530 --> 00:52:02,930
Speaker 2: you can meet up black ketch up, and you know,

1033
00:52:02,970 --> 00:52:04,090
Speaker 2: she had said to me, you.

1034
00:52:04,010 --> 00:52:06,650
Speaker 3: Know, she's sorry to hear about Tom and I. So

1035
00:52:06,810 --> 00:52:10,290
Speaker 3: I was really confused because I was like, she was

1036
00:52:10,330 --> 00:52:13,530
Speaker 3: just away with her partner, What on earth is going on.

1037
00:52:14,010 --> 00:52:15,890
Speaker 2: I like sort of walked over to them and I

1038
00:52:15,970 --> 00:52:17,930
Speaker 2: was like hey, and she sort of came up and

1039
00:52:17,970 --> 00:52:20,210
Speaker 2: gave me a hug, and I was like, what's going on?

1040
00:52:20,290 --> 00:52:23,250
Speaker 2: What are you guys doing down here? And then Tom

1041
00:52:23,330 --> 00:52:24,970
Speaker 2: was like, oh, you just came down for the night,

1042
00:52:25,930 --> 00:52:29,050
Speaker 2: just camping, you know. I like saw like my gray

1043
00:52:29,050 --> 00:52:33,010
Speaker 2: mattress in the back of the car. I was like,

1044
00:52:33,810 --> 00:52:39,250
Speaker 2: are you guys here together, and he just looked at

1045
00:52:39,250 --> 00:52:42,650
Speaker 2: me and I was like, are you guys together now?

1046
00:52:43,290 --> 00:52:49,410
Speaker 2: And he was just like, yeah, we are. And I

1047
00:52:49,530 --> 00:52:54,050
Speaker 2: was just in shock. I didn't even say anything. I

1048
00:52:54,130 --> 00:52:57,170
Speaker 2: just looked at him and then walked away and went

1049
00:52:57,210 --> 00:52:58,930
Speaker 2: to the girls, and I was like, we've got to go,

1050
00:52:59,450 --> 00:53:02,970
Speaker 2: and I went all faint and limp, and I was

1051
00:53:03,050 --> 00:53:07,530
Speaker 2: just yeah, I was beside myself. I was so so

1052
00:53:07,730 --> 00:53:11,210
Speaker 2: upset and just so confused. My friend drove me back

1053
00:53:11,250 --> 00:53:15,970
Speaker 2: to her and I put flight home for a few days,

1054
00:53:15,970 --> 00:53:18,570
Speaker 2: back to New Zealand. I'm done, like I'm not. I

1055
00:53:18,690 --> 00:53:21,130
Speaker 2: can't do this, Like I'm not strong enough to handle

1056
00:53:21,130 --> 00:53:22,610
Speaker 2: this on my own. I need to go home and

1057
00:53:22,650 --> 00:53:25,570
Speaker 2: be with my friends and my family, and I don't

1058
00:53:25,610 --> 00:53:30,650
Speaker 2: know if I'll ever come back. It all makes sense now,

1059
00:53:31,050 --> 00:53:35,530
Speaker 2: like it all just completely makes sense. The uber situation

1060
00:53:35,810 --> 00:53:39,050
Speaker 2: makes so much more sense because it was from her area.

1061
00:53:39,170 --> 00:53:41,770
Speaker 2: Like of course, it all made sense. Why he never

1062
00:53:41,810 --> 00:53:43,570
Speaker 2: told me about the first one. I think he just

1063
00:53:43,610 --> 00:53:46,690
Speaker 2: never even really felt proper guilt about it. I think

1064
00:53:46,690 --> 00:53:48,970
Speaker 2: he can just do that and sort of keep moving on.

1065
00:53:49,810 --> 00:53:52,290
Speaker 3: I messaged him. It was a long message.

1066
00:53:52,890 --> 00:53:55,970
Speaker 2: It was basically I knew something was up. I knew

1067
00:53:55,970 --> 00:53:58,930
Speaker 2: you were cheating on me, and you deny and I denied,

1068
00:53:59,330 --> 00:54:03,290
Speaker 2: and I never thought it'd be her. You stayed over

1069
00:54:03,330 --> 00:54:06,970
Speaker 2: at her house when we were together. She was always there,

1070
00:54:07,370 --> 00:54:10,890
Speaker 2: and I thought I had a friendship with this girl,

1071
00:54:10,930 --> 00:54:15,210
Speaker 2: and I trusted you around her, and I trusted her

1072
00:54:15,250 --> 00:54:17,450
Speaker 2: around you, and I just trusted both of you, and

1073
00:54:17,930 --> 00:54:21,970
Speaker 2: this whole time, like it all makes sense that things

1074
00:54:21,970 --> 00:54:24,090
Speaker 2: were going on, And of course I wanted to know,

1075
00:54:24,290 --> 00:54:28,170
Speaker 2: like how long this had been going on for and when.

1076
00:54:27,970 --> 00:54:31,170
Speaker 3: Did it start? But I also was just like, it

1077
00:54:31,210 --> 00:54:32,890
Speaker 3: doesn't even matter at this point.

1078
00:54:33,570 --> 00:54:37,250
Speaker 2: I didn't want to have any conversation with him.

1079
00:54:37,290 --> 00:54:38,770
Speaker 3: I didn't need any closure from.

1080
00:54:38,690 --> 00:54:41,410
Speaker 2: The situation because I just knew that whatever he told

1081
00:54:41,490 --> 00:54:44,010
Speaker 2: me was just going to make him feel less guilty,

1082
00:54:44,050 --> 00:54:46,290
Speaker 2: and it's also going to make he's going to spin

1083
00:54:46,370 --> 00:54:48,250
Speaker 2: it however he wants to spin it and make it

1084
00:54:48,330 --> 00:54:50,130
Speaker 2: sound better than what it was.

1085
00:54:50,490 --> 00:54:52,010
Speaker 3: And how do I know that.

1086
00:54:51,970 --> 00:54:55,610
Speaker 2: Anything he's saying is even the truth anyway, Like, let's

1087
00:54:55,610 --> 00:54:57,730
Speaker 2: be real, he's not going to admit anything now.

1088
00:54:58,210 --> 00:55:00,850
Speaker 3: I went home and back in New Zealand.

1089
00:55:00,850 --> 00:55:03,130
Speaker 2: I went home for about like eight weeks or something,

1090
00:55:03,730 --> 00:55:08,050
Speaker 2: and I was, yeah, lack a shallow myself. I was

1091
00:55:08,650 --> 00:55:14,250
Speaker 2: not myself and just very lost and just so her.

1092
00:55:14,290 --> 00:55:15,890
Speaker 3: I've only ever been.

1093
00:55:15,890 --> 00:55:20,690
Speaker 2: So supportive and loyal, and I've never ever done anything

1094
00:55:20,810 --> 00:55:23,450
Speaker 2: like that. So I just couldn't comprehend somebody doing that

1095
00:55:24,050 --> 00:55:25,930
Speaker 2: to me and then in the same breath, you know,

1096
00:55:26,010 --> 00:55:28,890
Speaker 2: coming home and saying you know how much they love

1097
00:55:28,970 --> 00:55:33,130
Speaker 2: me and talking about the future and all that stuff,

1098
00:55:33,170 --> 00:55:36,210
Speaker 2: and you know, I'd moved countries for this person, and

1099
00:55:37,090 --> 00:55:47,410
Speaker 2: they just completely betrayed me. I was thinking about all

1100
00:55:47,450 --> 00:55:51,850
Speaker 2: those times that we spent together on a Friday night

1101
00:55:51,850 --> 00:55:55,130
Speaker 2: after work, every time we hung out outside of that

1102
00:55:55,970 --> 00:56:00,410
Speaker 2: and you know, sat there and talked about our relationships.

1103
00:56:00,610 --> 00:56:04,170
Speaker 2: She saw Tom and I together, and she knew how

1104
00:56:04,250 --> 00:56:08,050
Speaker 2: much I cared for him, And to think that all

1105
00:56:08,090 --> 00:56:12,970
Speaker 2: those times that we were together and chatting, and to

1106
00:56:13,050 --> 00:56:15,530
Speaker 2: know that there was something deeper going on there and

1107
00:56:16,450 --> 00:56:19,810
Speaker 2: that they had something going on and I just wasn't

1108
00:56:19,810 --> 00:56:24,610
Speaker 2: privy to it. It's actually wild to me that two

1109
00:56:24,650 --> 00:56:30,130
Speaker 2: people could be so nice to you and especially for her,

1110
00:56:30,730 --> 00:56:35,530
Speaker 2: and then also go home with my boyfriend. My whole

1111
00:56:35,810 --> 00:56:39,370
Speaker 2: thought process was, why wouldn't he want to break up?

1112
00:56:39,850 --> 00:56:42,010
Speaker 2: I was the one, you know that was really I

1113
00:56:42,130 --> 00:56:46,210
Speaker 2: wanted to walk away. I was willing. He had such

1114
00:56:46,250 --> 00:56:48,370
Speaker 2: an easy out if they you know, if he loved

1115
00:56:48,370 --> 00:56:51,010
Speaker 2: this girl and wanted to be with her, he had

1116
00:56:51,050 --> 00:56:55,570
Speaker 2: the easiest out, because you know, I tried multiple occasions

1117
00:56:55,610 --> 00:56:58,170
Speaker 2: to break up with him, but he was adamant that

1118
00:56:58,290 --> 00:57:00,290
Speaker 2: he didn't want to break up. So that's what was

1119
00:57:00,290 --> 00:57:04,210
Speaker 2: confusing me, is why weren't you willing to leave your

1120
00:57:04,290 --> 00:57:07,610
Speaker 2: current partners for each other? And like, why weren't you

1121
00:57:07,610 --> 00:57:09,610
Speaker 2: you know, like were they having these conversations.

1122
00:57:09,650 --> 00:57:10,170
Speaker 3: I don't know.

1123
00:57:10,730 --> 00:57:13,010
Speaker 2: I wouldn't be surprised if he'd told her, was telling

1124
00:57:13,050 --> 00:57:15,210
Speaker 2: her now that he was the one that broke up

1125
00:57:15,250 --> 00:57:20,330
Speaker 2: with me for her. I did reach out to Sophie afterwards.

1126
00:57:20,730 --> 00:57:24,570
Speaker 2: I just sent her a message. I honestly wasn't even

1127
00:57:24,570 --> 00:57:27,970
Speaker 2: going to bother calling or anything. I just said to her, like,

1128
00:57:28,770 --> 00:57:33,170
Speaker 2: you know, I honestly just am so shocked and her

1129
00:57:33,730 --> 00:57:37,130
Speaker 2: I thought we were friends and spoke to you about

1130
00:57:37,290 --> 00:57:39,810
Speaker 2: being cheated on. What had it happened in New Zealand?

1131
00:57:39,850 --> 00:57:43,450
Speaker 2: And to think all those times I'd been so welcoming

1132
00:57:43,850 --> 00:57:49,090
Speaker 2: with you and trusted my boyfriend to stay at your parents' house.

1133
00:57:49,770 --> 00:57:52,770
Speaker 2: I just was like I just can't believe it, and

1134
00:57:53,650 --> 00:57:54,890
Speaker 2: just how could you do.

1135
00:57:54,810 --> 00:57:56,210
Speaker 3: That to me? Basically?

1136
00:57:57,130 --> 00:58:00,370
Speaker 2: And then I blocked her after that because I was like,

1137
00:58:00,410 --> 00:58:02,210
Speaker 2: there's nothing like she could say to me either.

1138
00:58:02,770 --> 00:58:04,730
Speaker 1: After spending a couple of months back at home with

1139
00:58:04,770 --> 00:58:07,530
Speaker 1: her family trying to grapple with all of these questions,

1140
00:58:07,570 --> 00:58:10,370
Speaker 1: Molly realized she didn't want to let this man defind

1141
00:58:10,370 --> 00:58:13,650
Speaker 1: her life and her choices anymore. She loved Australia and

1142
00:58:13,770 --> 00:58:16,090
Speaker 1: was making a life for herself there. She wanted to

1143
00:58:16,130 --> 00:58:18,930
Speaker 1: prove to herself that not everything she did need it

1144
00:58:19,010 --> 00:58:19,770
Speaker 1: to be about him.

1145
00:58:20,330 --> 00:58:23,530
Speaker 2: I had to sort of continue to see them, like

1146
00:58:24,130 --> 00:58:28,010
Speaker 2: he lives not far from me, and I would purposefully go,

1147
00:58:28,250 --> 00:58:31,650
Speaker 2: you know, to the train station really early, or go

1148
00:58:31,890 --> 00:58:34,370
Speaker 2: to the supermarket at different times that I knew that

1149
00:58:34,450 --> 00:58:37,250
Speaker 2: he wouldn't be there. I remember one time I was

1150
00:58:37,290 --> 00:58:39,610
Speaker 2: at yoga and us you know, my one time of

1151
00:58:39,610 --> 00:58:42,610
Speaker 2: the day where I was just really being able to

1152
00:58:42,690 --> 00:58:45,810
Speaker 2: just you know, relax and try and not think about.

1153
00:58:45,490 --> 00:58:47,890
Speaker 3: This because it was just consuming me all the time.

1154
00:58:48,930 --> 00:58:53,610
Speaker 2: And I was coming out of the yoga studio and

1155
00:58:53,650 --> 00:58:56,850
Speaker 2: then of course I'm like waiting for the traffic to

1156
00:58:56,890 --> 00:58:59,050
Speaker 2: go to pull out, and they walk right in front

1157
00:58:59,050 --> 00:59:01,570
Speaker 2: of my car. They're on their way down to the beach.

1158
00:59:01,650 --> 00:59:04,050
Speaker 2: And that was like the first time that I saw

1159
00:59:04,050 --> 00:59:07,690
Speaker 2: them since I'd got back from New Zealand, and I

1160
00:59:07,730 --> 00:59:10,250
Speaker 2: had already not been sleeping or eating or you know.

1161
00:59:10,410 --> 00:59:15,210
Speaker 3: I was just so.

1162
00:59:13,170 --> 00:59:17,370
Speaker 2: So sad, Like I'm as sad to think how it

1163
00:59:17,490 --> 00:59:21,050
Speaker 2: was just the most horrible time. This was two years ago,

1164
00:59:21,410 --> 00:59:24,930
Speaker 2: so beginning of twenty twenty three, all of this happened. Yeah,

1165
00:59:24,930 --> 00:59:28,610
Speaker 2: they're still together to this day. You think time will

1166
00:59:28,690 --> 00:59:32,410
Speaker 2: make things easier, and I guess it does, But whenever

1167
00:59:32,450 --> 00:59:35,010
Speaker 2: I see them still, like it's like my whole body

1168
00:59:35,090 --> 00:59:38,010
Speaker 2: just completely gives way and I just feel sick and

1169
00:59:38,090 --> 00:59:39,570
Speaker 2: I can't eat for the rest of the day. Like

1170
00:59:39,650 --> 00:59:42,850
Speaker 2: I just feel I just still feel that hurt, and

1171
00:59:42,890 --> 00:59:48,650
Speaker 2: I don't feel like I can trust probably the same way.

1172
00:59:48,650 --> 00:59:50,930
Speaker 2: And I did say that to him in my last

1173
00:59:50,930 --> 00:59:55,050
Speaker 2: text they sent to him, was your actions have bigger implications,

1174
00:59:55,090 --> 00:59:59,090
Speaker 2: Like it's not just about the hurt. I now will

1175
00:59:59,090 --> 01:00:01,690
Speaker 2: never be able to perceive relationships the same way. I'll

1176
01:00:01,730 --> 01:00:04,210
Speaker 2: never be able to trust the same way. Like I

1177
01:00:04,290 --> 01:00:08,410
Speaker 2: was such a trustworthy person, never seeking guest anyone because

1178
01:00:08,410 --> 01:00:11,690
Speaker 2: I just couldn't imagine ever doing that to somebody. So

1179
01:00:12,610 --> 01:00:17,050
Speaker 2: now to like know that someone can be so loving

1180
01:00:17,130 --> 01:00:20,450
Speaker 2: and such a good partner and all these things, and

1181
01:00:20,490 --> 01:00:23,690
Speaker 2: then also in the same breath they can be doing

1182
01:00:23,730 --> 01:00:26,490
Speaker 2: these other things whenever I do bump into them. Not

1183
01:00:26,570 --> 01:00:30,130
Speaker 2: that we would ever say hello or anything like that,

1184
01:00:30,250 --> 01:00:33,970
Speaker 2: but it literally happened last weekend down at the same place.

1185
01:00:34,650 --> 01:00:39,650
Speaker 2: And yeah, the audacity of it though. For example, this

1186
01:00:39,730 --> 01:00:41,770
Speaker 2: is two years on and I'm down at the same

1187
01:00:41,810 --> 01:00:44,410
Speaker 2: place that I saw them the first time, and everything

1188
01:00:44,490 --> 01:00:47,890
Speaker 2: unfolded and I was literally getting ready for a surf

1189
01:00:48,010 --> 01:00:50,010
Speaker 2: and getting my board off the roof and I was

1190
01:00:50,010 --> 01:00:51,610
Speaker 2: like on top of the roof and I look down

1191
01:00:51,650 --> 01:00:56,130
Speaker 2: and I see Sophie and I my heart just dropped.

1192
01:00:56,210 --> 01:00:58,690
Speaker 3: I was just like, oh my god, no, I'm be

1193
01:00:58,810 --> 01:00:59,770
Speaker 3: doing this right now.

1194
01:00:59,850 --> 01:01:02,570
Speaker 2: And then of course she looks up and sees me,

1195
01:01:02,650 --> 01:01:05,890
Speaker 2: and then I see him walk over and put his

1196
01:01:05,970 --> 01:01:08,770
Speaker 2: arm around her there you know, all the fictionate and

1197
01:01:08,810 --> 01:01:09,530
Speaker 2: She's rubbing his.

1198
01:01:09,530 --> 01:01:13,490
Speaker 3: Back and I was just like, oh God.

1199
01:01:13,690 --> 01:01:16,490
Speaker 2: And then we all left and went to another beach

1200
01:01:16,570 --> 01:01:20,090
Speaker 2: because I was I can't be here like around them,

1201
01:01:20,130 --> 01:01:22,730
Speaker 2: and I went to another beach to escape them. And

1202
01:01:23,450 --> 01:01:24,970
Speaker 2: when we got to the other beach was sort of

1203
01:01:25,010 --> 01:01:27,650
Speaker 2: around the bay, and I was just I'd suited up

1204
01:01:27,690 --> 01:01:29,250
Speaker 2: and I was ready to go out for a surf,

1205
01:01:29,330 --> 01:01:32,970
Speaker 2: like finally after a couple breakdowns later, and I was

1206
01:01:32,970 --> 01:01:34,770
Speaker 2: waiting for my sunblock to dry, and I look over

1207
01:01:34,930 --> 01:01:37,770
Speaker 2: and they've just appeared on the beach next to us,

1208
01:01:38,370 --> 01:01:41,650
Speaker 2: and they've obviously paddled around and they've come and they're

1209
01:01:41,650 --> 01:01:44,130
Speaker 2: sitting down, and I was just like, you've got to

1210
01:01:44,170 --> 01:01:46,210
Speaker 2: be kidding me, like and I.

1211
01:01:46,090 --> 01:01:47,170
Speaker 3: Was just like, oh my god.

1212
01:01:47,210 --> 01:01:49,090
Speaker 2: And then they had to walk past, and it was

1213
01:01:49,210 --> 01:01:53,090
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, I don't think it'll ever get easier

1214
01:01:53,170 --> 01:01:53,810
Speaker 2: to see them.

1215
01:01:54,250 --> 01:01:57,170
Speaker 1: But in hindsight, even though she wished so many times

1216
01:01:57,250 --> 01:02:00,330
Speaker 1: it didn't happen, the one thing Molly thinks did actually

1217
01:02:00,330 --> 01:02:02,930
Speaker 1: make it easier was the fact that Tom had cheated

1218
01:02:03,130 --> 01:02:04,450
Speaker 1: and lied about it before.

1219
01:02:05,370 --> 01:02:08,930
Speaker 2: It would have been a lot harder for me because

1220
01:02:08,970 --> 01:02:14,490
Speaker 2: I would have really felt a lot more pain, like

1221
01:02:14,570 --> 01:02:17,330
Speaker 2: a lot more hurt and a lot more feelings were involved.

1222
01:02:17,370 --> 01:02:20,490
Speaker 2: But I think because of the whole cheating that had

1223
01:02:20,490 --> 01:02:24,650
Speaker 2: happened the first time, I just knew I probably wouldn't

1224
01:02:24,690 --> 01:02:27,090
Speaker 2: have left the relationship when I did, like I would

1225
01:02:27,090 --> 01:02:30,050
Speaker 2: have just stuck it out because I probably wouldn't have

1226
01:02:30,690 --> 01:02:34,610
Speaker 2: clocked on as you know, as I did, but because

1227
01:02:34,770 --> 01:02:37,890
Speaker 2: it had happened a time before, I just knew this

1228
01:02:38,050 --> 01:02:40,250
Speaker 2: is all of my fears confirmed. That these people just

1229
01:02:40,290 --> 01:02:43,930
Speaker 2: don't change and they'll continue to do that. I would

1230
01:02:43,930 --> 01:02:46,610
Speaker 2: say that it took me at least like a year

1231
01:02:46,770 --> 01:02:53,970
Speaker 2: to feel okay again mentally. And I think the first year,

1232
01:02:54,290 --> 01:02:56,370
Speaker 2: you know, I went traveling and all these things, but

1233
01:02:57,170 --> 01:02:59,330
Speaker 2: I still thought about it a lot, like it was

1234
01:02:59,370 --> 01:03:02,250
Speaker 2: still a still upset me a lot. I was so

1235
01:03:02,370 --> 01:03:06,010
Speaker 2: close to moving home, but at that point I'd sort

1236
01:03:06,050 --> 01:03:07,970
Speaker 2: of made these friendships.

1237
01:03:07,970 --> 01:03:09,850
Speaker 3: And I guess being single does that.

1238
01:03:11,930 --> 01:03:14,610
Speaker 2: I feel like this last year, I think I've been

1239
01:03:14,610 --> 01:03:17,330
Speaker 2: like the happiest I've ever felt, just on my own.

1240
01:03:17,490 --> 01:03:20,930
Speaker 2: Just honestly, at the time, you feel like you just

1241
01:03:21,010 --> 01:03:24,690
Speaker 2: cannot leave a situation because you feel like there is

1242
01:03:24,770 --> 01:03:28,090
Speaker 2: just nothing else out there for you and you're going

1243
01:03:28,170 --> 01:03:30,410
Speaker 2: to be so lost without them. But if I can

1244
01:03:30,450 --> 01:03:34,210
Speaker 2: do it in another country away from my family and

1245
01:03:34,570 --> 01:03:38,290
Speaker 2: not many friends here and nowhere to go and no

1246
01:03:38,410 --> 01:03:41,530
Speaker 2: bed to sleep on, people can do it, And like

1247
01:03:41,650 --> 01:03:45,570
Speaker 2: it's so hard, but it's so worth it to get

1248
01:03:45,610 --> 01:03:45,890
Speaker 2: to this.

1249
01:03:45,970 --> 01:03:49,890
Speaker 3: Point where you're just on your own. I feel like

1250
01:03:49,970 --> 01:03:51,810
Speaker 3: I'm at a point where I'm so happy on my

1251
01:03:51,890 --> 01:03:55,450
Speaker 3: own that I don't need anyone.

1252
01:03:55,530 --> 01:03:59,170
Speaker 2: But if you know, someone comes along and it feels

1253
01:03:59,210 --> 01:04:01,410
Speaker 2: like the right person, then one hundred percent.

1254
01:04:01,570 --> 01:04:04,890
Speaker 3: But for now, I'm just I've got.

1255
01:04:04,770 --> 01:04:07,930
Speaker 2: Some travel plans and I'm really excited to just go

1256
01:04:07,970 --> 01:04:10,050
Speaker 2: and see more of the world on my own, do

1257
01:04:10,170 --> 01:04:14,290
Speaker 2: some solo traveling, and I'm just super excited for all

1258
01:04:14,330 --> 01:04:14,530
Speaker 2: of that.

1259
01:04:14,730 --> 01:04:17,850
Speaker 3: And who knows who held me along the way, But yeah,

1260
01:04:17,930 --> 01:04:20,850
Speaker 3: for now, I'm very very happy filling up my own cup.

1261
01:04:21,330 --> 01:04:23,690
Speaker 2: I know that it might have changed the way that

1262
01:04:24,010 --> 01:04:29,290
Speaker 2: I trust now, but I think that that's just because

1263
01:04:29,290 --> 01:04:31,170
Speaker 2: I haven't met the right person yet.

1264
01:04:47,890 --> 01:04:50,850
Speaker 1: Everyone Has an Ex is a Minti Media production and

1265
01:04:50,890 --> 01:04:53,730
Speaker 1: proudly part of the Mum and mea network. It's written

1266
01:04:53,810 --> 01:04:57,450
Speaker 1: and narrated by me Georgia Love and produced by Linda Scott.

1267
01:04:57,730 --> 01:05:01,130
Speaker 1: If you like We've heard, support the podcast by hitting subscribe,

1268
01:05:01,250 --> 01:05:03,810
Speaker 1: writing a review, and leaving us five stars. You can

1269
01:05:03,850 --> 01:05:06,690
Speaker 1: also follow us on Instagram and Everyone has an X

1270
01:05:06,970 --> 01:05:08,810
Speaker 1: And if you have a story you'd like to share,

1271
01:05:08,850 --> 01:05:11,090
Speaker 1: you can contact us that Everyone has an Ex at

1272
01:05:11,090 --> 01:05:14,890
Speaker 1: Minti media dot com dot you, or submissions at mamamea

1273
01:05:14,970 --> 01:05:17,490
Speaker 1: dot com dot you with the word submission in the

1274
01:05:17,530 --> 01:05:18,290
Speaker 1: subject field.

1275
01:05:20,770 --> 01:05:20,810
Speaker 2: M