1 00:00:10,829 --> 00:00:15,029 Speaker 1: So much. You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. Mom 2 00:00:15,029 --> 00:00:18,349 Speaker 1: and Maya acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 3 00:00:18,349 --> 00:00:20,029 Speaker 1: that this podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:21,349 --> 00:00:25,229 Speaker 2: Do you remember COVID lockdown in Melbourne? Well, it's like 5 00:00:25,429 --> 00:00:28,989 Speaker 2: being locked down, except instead of inside your house, it's 6 00:00:28,989 --> 00:00:31,149 Speaker 2: like being locked down inside your tired brain. 7 00:00:31,629 --> 00:00:34,149 Speaker 3: That is the feeling. It's the same. 8 00:00:34,189 --> 00:00:39,989 Speaker 2: Forty five minutes over and over and with kind of 9 00:00:40,109 --> 00:00:40,389 Speaker 2: like a. 10 00:00:40,589 --> 00:00:43,629 Speaker 3: Static at the edges of your vision. That's what it's like. 11 00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:48,669 Speaker 2: But also, you know the baby smells knives. I suppose 12 00:00:49,389 --> 00:00:51,989 Speaker 2: is it worth it? Does it balance out the negatives? 13 00:00:52,189 --> 00:00:52,709 Speaker 3: I don't know. 14 00:01:02,989 --> 00:01:06,709 Speaker 4: The baby Bubble with Claire and Jesse Stevens, it's definitely 15 00:01:06,749 --> 00:01:08,469 Speaker 4: not a parenting advice podcast. 16 00:01:10,589 --> 00:01:14,629 Speaker 1: Hello. I am Jessie Stevens and my thirteen month old 17 00:01:14,669 --> 00:01:17,829 Speaker 1: has become addicted to hot chips and it's because Nan 18 00:01:18,709 --> 00:01:22,309 Speaker 1: mom my Mum exclusively feeds her hot chips. You know 19 00:01:22,349 --> 00:01:24,909 Speaker 1: how mum was looking after Luoney yesterday? Yep? Are you 20 00:01:24,949 --> 00:01:28,549 Speaker 1: where they went to KFC? I just oh, she didn't 21 00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:32,269 Speaker 1: have many? Well she did she and Mom sometimes gets 22 00:01:32,309 --> 00:01:34,629 Speaker 1: proud about it and she says, we have little secrets. 23 00:01:34,709 --> 00:01:36,149 Speaker 1: Luna and I and I'm like, it's not a secret 24 00:01:36,189 --> 00:01:37,629 Speaker 1: when I know you just give her hot chips every 25 00:01:37,629 --> 00:01:40,069 Speaker 1: time I have my back turned. Yes, we're having issues 26 00:01:40,109 --> 00:01:42,829 Speaker 1: with her eating. She's not eating vegetables because she's looking 27 00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:46,069 Speaker 1: at them being like, this is not a hot chip. Also, 28 00:01:46,589 --> 00:01:49,669 Speaker 1: you have taught her sign language, and she's also just 29 00:01:49,709 --> 00:01:53,229 Speaker 1: started talking, just saying more and signing for more. And 30 00:01:53,269 --> 00:01:54,909 Speaker 1: the other day I walked in and I said, hey, Luna, 31 00:01:54,949 --> 00:01:58,229 Speaker 1: you want hot chips, and she frantically went more more. 32 00:01:58,709 --> 00:02:00,749 Speaker 1: There were no hot SCHIPs. I was trolling. She's become 33 00:02:01,469 --> 00:02:06,629 Speaker 1: quite manic about chips. Specifically, she won't eat anything else. 34 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:08,909 Speaker 1: She's like, why doesn't this have chicken salt? And I'm like, Luna, 35 00:02:08,949 --> 00:02:11,829 Speaker 1: I honestly feel the same way. But you're a baby. 36 00:02:11,869 --> 00:02:14,869 Speaker 1: You're a baby. You need to eat some broccolis. I'm 37 00:02:14,949 --> 00:02:18,109 Speaker 1: Claire Stevenson and my baby. It just occurred to me 38 00:02:18,149 --> 00:02:19,709 Speaker 1: the other day that I think my baby's meant to 39 00:02:19,709 --> 00:02:23,909 Speaker 1: be crawling. Just occurred to you. Yeah, and she ain't. 40 00:02:24,149 --> 00:02:26,869 Speaker 1: Because there are pediatric physios that you can follow on 41 00:02:26,949 --> 00:02:29,109 Speaker 1: like Instagram and TikTok, and they have hacks. They're like, 42 00:02:29,189 --> 00:02:31,549 Speaker 1: it's fine, just do this with your baby. It'll encourage 43 00:02:31,549 --> 00:02:33,749 Speaker 1: them to crawl. And I've been doing those things and 44 00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:38,669 Speaker 1: every time I do it, Matilda laughs like an absolute maniac, 45 00:02:38,869 --> 00:02:40,589 Speaker 1: like she thinks it's the funniest thing. I'm trying to 46 00:02:40,629 --> 00:02:42,629 Speaker 1: get it to have the pediatric physio thing because I'm like, 47 00:02:42,629 --> 00:02:45,269 Speaker 1: I can see them being like, do calf hrases like 48 00:02:45,349 --> 00:02:48,069 Speaker 1: three sets of twelve? Yeah, And it's like the baby 49 00:02:48,149 --> 00:02:51,309 Speaker 1: can't take instructions. I've tried. I've tried. I can't see 50 00:02:51,349 --> 00:02:53,309 Speaker 1: them being like, oh, just get my band out. Can 51 00:02:53,309 --> 00:02:55,749 Speaker 1: you imagine that Matilda gets her band out, puts it 52 00:02:55,789 --> 00:02:58,389 Speaker 1: around her knees, does some clam She doesn't have knees. 53 00:02:59,029 --> 00:03:03,469 Speaker 1: You don't have menza joined a like rubber. It's so silly. 54 00:03:04,789 --> 00:03:07,069 Speaker 1: And we have a philosophy on this show, don't we 55 00:03:07,109 --> 00:03:10,669 Speaker 1: clare we do. Our philosophy is the parenting. It's actually 56 00:03:10,749 --> 00:03:13,949 Speaker 1: very funny. A lot of what we heard before having 57 00:03:13,949 --> 00:03:18,269 Speaker 1: babies was all mama and how's bub which made us 58 00:03:18,309 --> 00:03:22,509 Speaker 1: want to vomit. Alongside messages about you being a piece 59 00:03:22,509 --> 00:03:24,509 Speaker 1: of shit? Is why haven't you started solid? It's why 60 00:03:24,549 --> 00:03:27,589 Speaker 1: isn't your baby walking yet? Oh? It's colleag But no 61 00:03:27,629 --> 00:03:30,109 Speaker 1: one can actually define what colic is do we all 62 00:03:30,149 --> 00:03:33,549 Speaker 1: think our baby maybe had colic in hindsight? Yes, okay, 63 00:03:33,629 --> 00:03:35,749 Speaker 1: And if they don't have colleague, then I'm like, I 64 00:03:35,789 --> 00:03:38,469 Speaker 1: think she's constipated. Even when she's like just done a pool, 65 00:03:38,469 --> 00:03:40,789 Speaker 1: I'm like, I don't know, she looks frustrated, she's got 66 00:03:40,829 --> 00:03:43,829 Speaker 1: a stomach ache. What we wanted to do this season 67 00:03:44,469 --> 00:03:49,229 Speaker 1: is to speak to comedians. Our hypothesis is that comedians, 68 00:03:49,669 --> 00:03:53,429 Speaker 1: oh funny. That's the kind of really profound thought you have. Yeah, 69 00:03:53,469 --> 00:03:55,949 Speaker 1: in the depths of post babies, sleep depression, you're like, 70 00:03:56,029 --> 00:04:00,109 Speaker 1: you know who's funny? Comedians and some of them have 71 00:04:00,229 --> 00:04:04,069 Speaker 1: children wild, So we wanted to hear their stories and insights, 72 00:04:04,109 --> 00:04:06,789 Speaker 1: which brings us to our guests this week, Claire Hooper. 73 00:04:07,309 --> 00:04:10,309 Speaker 1: Claire is a comedian, television and radio presenter, and most 74 00:04:10,349 --> 00:04:13,029 Speaker 1: of the podcast I'm the Worst, where good people confess 75 00:04:13,149 --> 00:04:16,549 Speaker 1: bad things. I would like to do that. Oh my gosh, 76 00:04:16,589 --> 00:04:19,869 Speaker 1: I have so many things to say. She's been on 77 00:04:19,909 --> 00:04:22,829 Speaker 1: tour with her new stand up show So Proud, and 78 00:04:22,869 --> 00:04:25,109 Speaker 1: while I asked the question about whether or not we 79 00:04:25,189 --> 00:04:28,949 Speaker 1: should be celebrating all the things kids allegedly do well, 80 00:04:29,109 --> 00:04:31,549 Speaker 1: I would argue, no, we've asked her to join us 81 00:04:31,549 --> 00:04:34,149 Speaker 1: on the Baby Bubble today to shed some light on 82 00:04:34,189 --> 00:04:37,109 Speaker 1: some of the more absurd things she remembers from that 83 00:04:37,669 --> 00:04:40,469 Speaker 1: traumatic period of her life. I can't believe she has memories. 84 00:04:40,749 --> 00:04:43,549 Speaker 1: I know. I don't think my brain. You know how 85 00:04:43,589 --> 00:04:46,069 Speaker 1: your brain is like it has like dent inner where 86 00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:49,189 Speaker 1: the memory's from? Yeah, my own pin? Yeah yeah, mine's 87 00:04:49,189 --> 00:04:53,349 Speaker 1: not dented anymore. Mine's just like a printer that's run 88 00:04:53,389 --> 00:04:55,909 Speaker 1: out of ink. Is my brain, and it's just like 89 00:04:56,029 --> 00:04:58,269 Speaker 1: white pieces of paper coming out. And it's like, what 90 00:04:58,469 --> 00:05:01,789 Speaker 1: was Tuesday? What was I was gonna say, what was eleven? 91 00:05:01,949 --> 00:05:05,389 Speaker 1: I don't know where I am. I put a nappy 92 00:05:05,789 --> 00:05:08,069 Speaker 1: in the fridge the other day. Food was meant to 93 00:05:08,109 --> 00:05:09,469 Speaker 1: go on the fridge was meant to go on the bin, 94 00:05:09,549 --> 00:05:14,589 Speaker 1: got the mixed up. Wow, well be some nappy. Claire 95 00:05:15,269 --> 00:05:17,709 Speaker 1: talk to us about sleep deprivation. 96 00:05:20,349 --> 00:05:24,389 Speaker 2: Oh wow, No forplay from you. That is straight into 97 00:05:24,469 --> 00:05:27,069 Speaker 2: the horror. Yeah, let's talk about it. I spent a 98 00:05:27,109 --> 00:05:30,469 Speaker 2: whole I reckon three and a half years of my life. 99 00:05:30,589 --> 00:05:33,949 Speaker 3: My kids, two of them were two years apart. 100 00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:36,429 Speaker 2: Almost exactly, and so it was only when the second 101 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,509 Speaker 2: one was nearly two that I reckon I got. 102 00:05:38,789 --> 00:05:41,589 Speaker 3: Any sleep at all, probably at all. 103 00:05:41,709 --> 00:05:45,309 Speaker 2: I was so sleep deprived, And I think I'm mortified 104 00:05:46,029 --> 00:05:48,229 Speaker 2: at the stand up comedy gigs I did in that 105 00:05:48,269 --> 00:05:51,709 Speaker 2: four year period because I was not at my best 106 00:05:51,869 --> 00:05:54,469 Speaker 2: for a really long time. Horrible things, you admit, but 107 00:05:54,509 --> 00:05:56,589 Speaker 2: like I'd just like to go back and redo all 108 00:05:56,629 --> 00:05:59,949 Speaker 2: of them. I was so tired all the time, and 109 00:05:59,989 --> 00:06:01,709 Speaker 2: you are not witty when you're tired. 110 00:06:02,429 --> 00:06:07,189 Speaker 1: I need to hear how these performances actually, because I 111 00:06:07,189 --> 00:06:09,469 Speaker 1: know exactly what you mean, right, Like the first thing 112 00:06:09,549 --> 00:06:13,709 Speaker 1: to go is your sentences making that. But the other 113 00:06:13,749 --> 00:06:17,749 Speaker 1: thing is timing. Yeah, you're timing all sense of timing 114 00:06:17,789 --> 00:06:20,269 Speaker 1: because you're like yeah, and it's like you waited like 115 00:06:20,349 --> 00:06:25,429 Speaker 1: ten seconds. Tell us, like you're doing stand up you've 116 00:06:25,469 --> 00:06:28,269 Speaker 1: had god knows how much sleep in the last week, 117 00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:31,469 Speaker 1: Like what's going wrong in that situation? 118 00:06:32,109 --> 00:06:33,949 Speaker 2: I think what you can do is you can do 119 00:06:34,109 --> 00:06:39,109 Speaker 2: a competent job if you use every fiber of your being. Yeah, 120 00:06:39,149 --> 00:06:42,749 Speaker 2: if somebody heckles, you're not coming up with a beautiful, 121 00:06:42,989 --> 00:06:45,229 Speaker 2: in the moment perfect comeback. 122 00:06:45,309 --> 00:06:47,429 Speaker 3: You're not. You're just going to say no, thank you 123 00:06:47,509 --> 00:06:49,509 Speaker 3: and leave the stage. That's all you're up to. 124 00:06:49,589 --> 00:06:50,829 Speaker 1: You're like I. 125 00:06:50,709 --> 00:06:52,629 Speaker 3: Can remember my jokes and that is all you will 126 00:06:52,669 --> 00:06:56,229 Speaker 3: get from me. And if anything's going wrong, if the audience. 127 00:06:55,869 --> 00:06:59,109 Speaker 2: Is a bit loud, Like, at your best, you can 128 00:06:59,229 --> 00:07:02,989 Speaker 2: quiet a rowdy audience, but when you were sleep deprived, 129 00:07:03,349 --> 00:07:05,829 Speaker 2: you are so close to curling up into the fetal 130 00:07:05,869 --> 00:07:09,029 Speaker 2: position and just lying down on stage. 131 00:07:10,109 --> 00:07:11,189 Speaker 3: Alliance is so low. 132 00:07:11,749 --> 00:07:14,789 Speaker 1: What did the sleep look like? Because a lot of 133 00:07:14,829 --> 00:07:18,589 Speaker 1: people you say, you know, I was chronically sleep deprived, 134 00:07:18,589 --> 00:07:20,509 Speaker 1: And I feel like I'm coming into this in a 135 00:07:20,589 --> 00:07:25,629 Speaker 1: really good moment. Again, the articulateness, which is not a word, 136 00:07:25,709 --> 00:07:27,869 Speaker 1: he's gone from my brain because of the sleep decoration. 137 00:07:28,149 --> 00:07:32,149 Speaker 1: But I've just had two nights of pretty much zero sleep, Like, 138 00:07:32,189 --> 00:07:34,029 Speaker 1: what did it look like for you? You've got two 139 00:07:34,109 --> 00:07:36,669 Speaker 1: kids under two? Which is why how much sleep are 140 00:07:36,669 --> 00:07:37,149 Speaker 1: we talking? 141 00:07:37,389 --> 00:07:38,309 Speaker 3: Look, I can't even. 142 00:07:38,229 --> 00:07:40,589 Speaker 2: Really remember because the quality of it was so bad 143 00:07:40,629 --> 00:07:41,069 Speaker 2: as well. 144 00:07:41,389 --> 00:07:43,509 Speaker 3: So you just said Luna's thirteen months old. 145 00:07:43,589 --> 00:07:46,309 Speaker 2: Yeah, so I just remember it being at about that age. 146 00:07:46,869 --> 00:07:51,269 Speaker 2: Penny my first It turned out she was subsequently diagnosed 147 00:07:51,269 --> 00:07:52,229 Speaker 2: with ADHD. 148 00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:53,629 Speaker 3: What another person. 149 00:07:54,029 --> 00:07:56,509 Speaker 2: But the real shock here is that she wasn't in 150 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,749 Speaker 2: her series, she was dicognized with ADHD and It makes 151 00:07:59,789 --> 00:08:02,349 Speaker 2: so much sense because lots of friends will be late 152 00:08:02,429 --> 00:08:04,709 Speaker 2: when they cry awaken the night. Just bring them into 153 00:08:04,749 --> 00:08:06,869 Speaker 2: bed with you and you're gonna just cuddle until the morning. 154 00:08:06,869 --> 00:08:08,629 Speaker 2: And I'm like, well, but then she comes into the bed, 155 00:08:08,709 --> 00:08:11,589 Speaker 2: she kicks me all night. There's no getting back to sleep. 156 00:08:11,629 --> 00:08:12,909 Speaker 2: So we would like I took her with me to 157 00:08:12,949 --> 00:08:15,709 Speaker 2: Adelaide Fringe and I'm doing shows at night while someone 158 00:08:15,749 --> 00:08:17,869 Speaker 2: baby sits her in a hotel room, and then at 159 00:08:17,869 --> 00:08:18,829 Speaker 2: four thirty. 160 00:08:18,549 --> 00:08:21,749 Speaker 3: Am we are out on the streets of Adelaide with 161 00:08:21,869 --> 00:08:22,509 Speaker 3: the pram. 162 00:08:22,909 --> 00:08:25,429 Speaker 2: So she would wake several times a night. She would 163 00:08:25,429 --> 00:08:29,149 Speaker 2: also just be restless enough all night. I think she 164 00:08:29,349 --> 00:08:32,749 Speaker 2: was quite content. But there's something about the brain when 165 00:08:32,789 --> 00:08:34,709 Speaker 2: you just had a baby as well, where you are 166 00:08:35,189 --> 00:08:38,349 Speaker 2: easily woken, like that's the way it works, Like you've 167 00:08:38,389 --> 00:08:41,309 Speaker 2: got to hear their snuffles and their noises. But I 168 00:08:41,389 --> 00:08:44,269 Speaker 2: was too sensitive to her constant noise. So it was 169 00:08:44,469 --> 00:08:47,749 Speaker 2: light to sleep all night with a couple of waking 170 00:08:48,309 --> 00:08:51,269 Speaker 2: periods and then a four thirty am start. So it 171 00:08:51,309 --> 00:08:54,989 Speaker 2: was just really feeling like in a haze. 172 00:08:54,709 --> 00:08:56,189 Speaker 3: All day long. Every day. 173 00:08:56,749 --> 00:08:59,709 Speaker 1: I was thinking last night what it is as well? 174 00:08:59,749 --> 00:09:02,709 Speaker 1: I think your body starts doing a weird adrenaline response 175 00:09:02,749 --> 00:09:04,829 Speaker 1: where you can't sleep because you're just waiting to be 176 00:09:04,869 --> 00:09:05,429 Speaker 1: woken up. 177 00:09:05,869 --> 00:09:07,229 Speaker 3: Mate, That's what it is. 178 00:09:07,589 --> 00:09:09,629 Speaker 1: Yes, you're just you're like, why would I sleep? 179 00:09:10,109 --> 00:09:13,989 Speaker 2: Why would I think like a quailed spring all night long? 180 00:09:14,229 --> 00:09:14,389 Speaker 5: Right? 181 00:09:14,789 --> 00:09:16,429 Speaker 1: Yes? Exactly. 182 00:09:16,549 --> 00:09:19,029 Speaker 2: At about six weeks in with that first one with Penny, 183 00:09:19,109 --> 00:09:21,749 Speaker 2: I remember some friends being like, how's she sleeping? 184 00:09:22,069 --> 00:09:24,829 Speaker 3: And my husband, my husband went, yeah, she was great, 185 00:09:24,869 --> 00:09:26,989 Speaker 3: she sleeps through the night. And I was like, what 186 00:09:27,949 --> 00:09:28,869 Speaker 3: he like? 187 00:09:28,989 --> 00:09:32,029 Speaker 2: I'd obviously been responding so quickly to them that he 188 00:09:32,149 --> 00:09:34,629 Speaker 2: was sleeping through the night at six weeks, which we 189 00:09:34,669 --> 00:09:38,069 Speaker 2: all know is a horror period, So I don't know what, like, 190 00:09:38,429 --> 00:09:42,669 Speaker 2: how was he explaining to himself the sight of me 191 00:09:42,829 --> 00:09:45,109 Speaker 2: in the morning like a wild animal? 192 00:09:45,229 --> 00:09:47,749 Speaker 3: Like? What did he think was happening? That I was 193 00:09:48,029 --> 00:09:51,309 Speaker 3: sleeping all night with you? Anyway? Yeah? I said him straight. 194 00:09:51,589 --> 00:09:55,949 Speaker 1: Crazy clever clever being crazy. My partner said recently, I 195 00:09:55,949 --> 00:09:59,109 Speaker 1: remember we had that period where Luna was sleeping twelve 196 00:09:59,109 --> 00:10:03,149 Speaker 1: hours and I was like, no, that period happened, you 197 00:10:03,229 --> 00:10:05,709 Speaker 1: were just sleeping through it. I can't he that was. 198 00:10:05,789 --> 00:10:09,869 Speaker 3: No, No, No, you're thinking of you? You were sleeping twelve hours. 199 00:10:11,189 --> 00:10:13,909 Speaker 1: I want to know some of the weirdest stuff you've 200 00:10:13,949 --> 00:10:17,189 Speaker 1: done when you're tired, because Claire often describes, you're not 201 00:10:17,229 --> 00:10:18,909 Speaker 1: meant to say this, but she says it's like she 202 00:10:18,949 --> 00:10:21,349 Speaker 1: has a brain injury. I have a post birth brain injury. 203 00:10:21,589 --> 00:10:26,029 Speaker 1: I have become socially rude, a bit just dopey, Like 204 00:10:26,069 --> 00:10:28,709 Speaker 1: I say things not meant to say to people. Yeah, 205 00:10:28,709 --> 00:10:30,309 Speaker 1: and then I think, never did that before I had 206 00:10:30,309 --> 00:10:32,509 Speaker 1: a baby. Yeah. What are some of the weirdest things 207 00:10:32,509 --> 00:10:34,269 Speaker 1: you've done on very little sleep? 208 00:10:34,749 --> 00:10:38,149 Speaker 2: Oh gosh, I mean, I think I mostly remember the 209 00:10:38,189 --> 00:10:40,789 Speaker 2: tantrums because I agree that I was probably like a 210 00:10:40,829 --> 00:10:43,909 Speaker 2: little bit dazed in conversation and not at my best, 211 00:10:43,989 --> 00:10:46,469 Speaker 2: and I got into the habit of just leaving parties early, 212 00:10:46,589 --> 00:10:49,229 Speaker 2: like cutting my losses, going you're not going to get 213 00:10:49,229 --> 00:10:51,989 Speaker 2: any better from here on in, get out of here, right, 214 00:10:52,069 --> 00:10:55,469 Speaker 2: not even a goodbye. Nobody minds. I'm trying to think, 215 00:10:55,589 --> 00:10:59,149 Speaker 2: like I do. I remember three am, couldn't get the 216 00:10:59,149 --> 00:11:00,869 Speaker 2: baby to sleep, when I just. 217 00:11:01,709 --> 00:11:04,629 Speaker 3: Opened the garage door, walked into the. 218 00:11:04,589 --> 00:11:08,349 Speaker 2: Back alleyway around the corner like it was midwinter, and 219 00:11:08,389 --> 00:11:11,509 Speaker 2: I was wearing socks, and I sat in a bus 220 00:11:11,509 --> 00:11:13,749 Speaker 2: shelter on the side of a main road in like 221 00:11:13,869 --> 00:11:15,069 Speaker 2: muddy socks. 222 00:11:15,309 --> 00:11:17,629 Speaker 3: Just because I couldn't be in my own house anymore. 223 00:11:17,789 --> 00:11:20,349 Speaker 3: I don't know. I don't know what way did it. 224 00:11:20,429 --> 00:11:23,829 Speaker 3: I assume you slept through that. I had a friend's wedding. 225 00:11:23,869 --> 00:11:26,149 Speaker 2: So this was when one of them was two and 226 00:11:26,149 --> 00:11:28,229 Speaker 2: a half and the other one was just an infant. 227 00:11:28,549 --> 00:11:30,269 Speaker 2: So at that point, that's two and a half years 228 00:11:30,309 --> 00:11:32,509 Speaker 2: of no sleep, and I was meant to be like 229 00:11:32,549 --> 00:11:35,429 Speaker 2: the head bridesmaid for her wedding. Hadn't written the speech. 230 00:11:35,549 --> 00:11:37,269 Speaker 2: It's first thing in the morning on the wedding day, 231 00:11:37,389 --> 00:11:40,189 Speaker 2: and I am so tired and haven't slept again. 232 00:11:40,269 --> 00:11:42,709 Speaker 3: And I'm also like, you should have written a speech 233 00:11:42,749 --> 00:11:44,909 Speaker 3: by now, not a word, like I hadn't written a 234 00:11:44,909 --> 00:11:45,749 Speaker 3: word of this speech. 235 00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:50,749 Speaker 2: And while my husband held the baby and looked on 236 00:11:50,869 --> 00:11:53,749 Speaker 2: from the corner of this like hotel room, my little 237 00:11:53,789 --> 00:11:54,949 Speaker 2: two year old was next to. 238 00:11:54,949 --> 00:11:55,389 Speaker 3: Him as well. 239 00:11:55,389 --> 00:11:58,189 Speaker 2: And I feel bad about it, except that I remember 240 00:11:58,309 --> 00:12:01,789 Speaker 2: their expressions being of curiosity, not of fear, So I 241 00:12:01,829 --> 00:12:04,549 Speaker 2: do need to state that that is that's such an 242 00:12:04,589 --> 00:12:05,589 Speaker 2: important distinction. 243 00:12:06,069 --> 00:12:10,749 Speaker 3: They were just staring baffled. I like it was a 244 00:12:10,789 --> 00:12:11,549 Speaker 3: proper tantrum. 245 00:12:11,589 --> 00:12:13,589 Speaker 2: I didn't throw myself on the floor, but I remember 246 00:12:13,629 --> 00:12:16,829 Speaker 2: picking up the lamp in the hotel room and trying 247 00:12:16,869 --> 00:12:19,109 Speaker 2: to throw it down the hallway, but it was still 248 00:12:19,109 --> 00:12:21,029 Speaker 2: plugged into the wall, so it was like this really 249 00:12:21,149 --> 00:12:23,229 Speaker 2: short arc and then it just hit the floor next 250 00:12:23,229 --> 00:12:25,789 Speaker 2: to me, and then I burst into tears and cried 251 00:12:25,829 --> 00:12:29,029 Speaker 2: for absolutely. I just I will also say the lamp 252 00:12:29,029 --> 00:12:32,869 Speaker 2: didn't smash. I got lucky, and I wrote quite a 253 00:12:32,909 --> 00:12:35,629 Speaker 2: good speech in the end, So don't worry about me. 254 00:12:37,029 --> 00:12:39,829 Speaker 1: Your sleep deprived brain was really sharp, I'm sure. Yeah, 255 00:12:39,909 --> 00:12:40,509 Speaker 1: it's well. 256 00:12:40,589 --> 00:12:42,469 Speaker 3: Look, you pull it out of you sometimes, don't you. 257 00:12:44,549 --> 00:12:47,389 Speaker 2: Do You remember, though, because you're still in the thick 258 00:12:47,429 --> 00:12:50,469 Speaker 2: of it. You have to put them to sleep so 259 00:12:50,669 --> 00:12:53,549 Speaker 2: many times a day, like at night, but probably a 260 00:12:53,549 --> 00:12:55,269 Speaker 2: few more times at night, and then a couple of 261 00:12:55,349 --> 00:12:57,509 Speaker 2: times during the day, and it's your job. 262 00:12:57,749 --> 00:13:00,189 Speaker 3: And every time you're like, I don't know how I'm 263 00:13:00,189 --> 00:13:02,229 Speaker 3: going to do it this time, you're never not. 264 00:13:02,549 --> 00:13:05,949 Speaker 1: And the cruelty of it is that you'd like to 265 00:13:05,989 --> 00:13:08,149 Speaker 1: go to sleep. All you want to do is lie 266 00:13:08,189 --> 00:13:10,949 Speaker 1: flat and sleep, but you've got a win spa into 267 00:13:11,029 --> 00:13:15,029 Speaker 1: someone's ear. Yeah, and turn all the lights off. And 268 00:13:15,149 --> 00:13:19,669 Speaker 1: watch them be warm and watch them and then they 269 00:13:19,709 --> 00:13:23,949 Speaker 1: start snoring and you're like, oh, that's so, I'm so tired. 270 00:13:24,869 --> 00:13:27,349 Speaker 1: But I get mad whenever people say the whole like 271 00:13:27,429 --> 00:13:31,829 Speaker 1: sleep and the baby sleeps thing, because I think I'm like, Okay, logically, 272 00:13:31,949 --> 00:13:34,669 Speaker 1: this this bit right here is sleeping like fifteen hours 273 00:13:34,709 --> 00:13:36,549 Speaker 1: a day, so I do have time to sleep. But 274 00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:39,629 Speaker 1: the thing is it's unpredictable. So I'm like, I'm going 275 00:13:39,709 --> 00:13:41,629 Speaker 1: to have this nap with her, and I lay down, 276 00:13:41,749 --> 00:13:44,549 Speaker 1: sleeps ten minutes, and then the next one I'm like, 277 00:13:44,629 --> 00:13:47,349 Speaker 1: oh no, we'll go for a walk. I need sunshine. 278 00:13:47,389 --> 00:13:50,189 Speaker 1: I look like a ghost. Yeah, and then she sleeps 279 00:13:50,269 --> 00:13:54,749 Speaker 1: four hours. It's just it's a constant mind fucking it 280 00:13:54,989 --> 00:13:57,189 Speaker 1: is they need you to be moving? Yes? 281 00:13:58,309 --> 00:14:01,109 Speaker 3: Yes, isn't it that it's that roll of the dice? 282 00:14:01,229 --> 00:14:03,509 Speaker 2: Like, do I believe in my heart that this is 283 00:14:03,589 --> 00:14:06,269 Speaker 2: gonna be a nap good enough for me to lie 284 00:14:06,309 --> 00:14:08,789 Speaker 2: down because if this ends in fifteen minutes and I 285 00:14:08,789 --> 00:14:10,589 Speaker 2: have to get up, it's going to hurt much. 286 00:14:10,749 --> 00:14:10,949 Speaker 1: Yeah. 287 00:14:11,029 --> 00:14:14,109 Speaker 2: So yeah, the sleep when the baby sleeps thing? Honestly, like, 288 00:14:14,829 --> 00:14:17,189 Speaker 2: turn that into a bumper sticker and then burn it, please. 289 00:14:17,309 --> 00:14:20,629 Speaker 1: Yeah. One hundred percent. You'll sleep when you're stuck in traffic. 290 00:14:22,069 --> 00:14:22,269 Speaker 3: Yeah. 291 00:14:22,389 --> 00:14:24,469 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, she's in the back, she's asleep, and I'm like, oh, 292 00:14:24,589 --> 00:14:27,949 Speaker 1: have a little nap when we're walking the prem when 293 00:14:27,949 --> 00:14:30,149 Speaker 1: she's in her carrier and we're at the park. I 294 00:14:30,189 --> 00:14:33,309 Speaker 1: would sleep on a park bench absolutely. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, 295 00:14:33,389 --> 00:14:37,589 Speaker 1: sleep on the floor, yeah. Anything. Do your kids sleep now, Claire? 296 00:14:37,709 --> 00:14:39,189 Speaker 1: How old are they? Yeah? 297 00:14:39,269 --> 00:14:40,789 Speaker 3: So they're eight and ten? 298 00:14:41,509 --> 00:14:43,909 Speaker 2: Things, which I know it sounds like I remember being 299 00:14:43,949 --> 00:14:46,349 Speaker 2: at your stage and hearing people talk about that agent. 300 00:14:46,389 --> 00:14:48,829 Speaker 3: I'll be like, that's another lifetime. 301 00:14:48,869 --> 00:14:51,029 Speaker 2: I can't even imagine it, and then the reality is 302 00:14:51,749 --> 00:14:53,069 Speaker 2: it just feels like yesterday. 303 00:14:53,269 --> 00:14:54,029 Speaker 3: What a cliche? 304 00:14:54,189 --> 00:14:55,349 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah. 305 00:14:55,389 --> 00:14:58,509 Speaker 2: So I still remember those baby years like a post 306 00:14:58,549 --> 00:15:02,789 Speaker 2: traumatic like I really, it's still in every cell of 307 00:15:02,829 --> 00:15:05,669 Speaker 2: my body. They're eight and ten, and one of them 308 00:15:05,949 --> 00:15:09,429 Speaker 2: is a legendary sleeper. So the second one came out, 309 00:15:10,229 --> 00:15:13,429 Speaker 2: she spent a year being a rotten sleeper and then 310 00:15:13,549 --> 00:15:15,789 Speaker 2: turned into a good one. But she was the one 311 00:15:15,829 --> 00:15:18,389 Speaker 2: where that thing about just bring the baby in with you, 312 00:15:18,789 --> 00:15:20,629 Speaker 2: she would at least she bring her into the bed. 313 00:15:20,749 --> 00:15:23,549 Speaker 2: She would land like a heavyweight on your chest and 314 00:15:23,629 --> 00:15:24,909 Speaker 2: help you go to sleep as well. 315 00:15:24,989 --> 00:15:27,909 Speaker 3: So the second one was easier, even though still wakeful 316 00:15:27,909 --> 00:15:30,189 Speaker 3: in the first year. So that second. 317 00:15:29,909 --> 00:15:34,949 Speaker 2: One is an excellent sleeper, so good, we'll sometimes come 318 00:15:34,989 --> 00:15:36,429 Speaker 2: into our bed if she's had a nightmare. 319 00:15:36,789 --> 00:15:39,989 Speaker 3: But the first one, the one that was hard and 320 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:42,629 Speaker 3: continued to be hard, she continues to be she's ten. 321 00:15:42,789 --> 00:15:44,349 Speaker 2: I had to sit with her for sort of fifteen 322 00:15:44,389 --> 00:15:47,309 Speaker 2: minutes last night, talking to her while she went to 323 00:15:47,309 --> 00:15:51,109 Speaker 2: sleep at ten years old, because it's just is it 324 00:15:51,229 --> 00:15:54,149 Speaker 2: something I did you know, Like, did we use the 325 00:15:54,189 --> 00:15:55,989 Speaker 2: wrong technique with her as a baby. 326 00:15:56,589 --> 00:15:59,189 Speaker 3: I think she just might have one of those brains. 327 00:15:59,389 --> 00:16:02,309 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, no, I would blame yourself. I think that's 328 00:16:02,309 --> 00:16:03,349 Speaker 1: a really good way to go. 329 00:16:03,469 --> 00:16:03,789 Speaker 3: Thank you. 330 00:16:03,949 --> 00:16:05,909 Speaker 1: Getting to sleep is heard, and I look at Luna. 331 00:16:05,949 --> 00:16:08,549 Speaker 1: Sometimes I'm an Eurotic. I'm a Eurotic sleeper. Yeah. And 332 00:16:08,589 --> 00:16:10,269 Speaker 1: so I look at Matilda and I'm like, I can't 333 00:16:10,269 --> 00:16:14,669 Speaker 1: blame you. We have the white noise blaring constantly, and 334 00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:18,309 Speaker 1: I only recently because we turn it up really loud, 335 00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,789 Speaker 1: like the louder we do it, the more she'll go 336 00:16:20,829 --> 00:16:22,989 Speaker 1: to sleep. And then I just saw something recently about 337 00:16:22,989 --> 00:16:30,389 Speaker 1: how it ruins their hearing. Lovelair, Lovelair she's not sleeping 338 00:16:30,589 --> 00:16:31,869 Speaker 1: and I'm ruining her hearing. 339 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:33,789 Speaker 2: Yeah, this was one of the things that we tried 340 00:16:33,829 --> 00:16:37,189 Speaker 2: to do with our kids, which was as few croutches 341 00:16:37,309 --> 00:16:38,189 Speaker 2: as possible. 342 00:16:38,749 --> 00:16:41,989 Speaker 3: I know, like the dream and such a such a fiction. 343 00:16:42,469 --> 00:16:45,229 Speaker 2: Because I was still touring quite a lot when they 344 00:16:45,229 --> 00:16:47,349 Speaker 2: were little. I needed them to be able to come 345 00:16:47,389 --> 00:16:49,669 Speaker 2: to an Airbnb on the Gold Coast and sleep in 346 00:16:49,709 --> 00:16:50,309 Speaker 2: a new room. 347 00:16:50,989 --> 00:16:52,349 Speaker 3: So we were. 348 00:16:52,989 --> 00:16:55,549 Speaker 2: Yeah, we probably pushed ourselves a little bit too much, 349 00:16:55,589 --> 00:16:58,309 Speaker 2: but yeah, we didn't have the white noise, and we 350 00:16:58,469 --> 00:17:01,629 Speaker 2: taught them to sleep without blockout blinds and stuff, which 351 00:17:01,749 --> 00:17:04,589 Speaker 2: was in retrospect, we could have made it so much 352 00:17:04,589 --> 00:17:07,829 Speaker 2: easier on ourselves by not taking them on tour and 353 00:17:07,909 --> 00:17:09,869 Speaker 2: giving them block out blinds and white noise. 354 00:17:11,829 --> 00:17:14,749 Speaker 1: I want to know, I'm still thinking about four thirty 355 00:17:14,789 --> 00:17:17,589 Speaker 1: am on the streets of Adelaide. I'm wondering if you know, 356 00:17:17,629 --> 00:17:20,149 Speaker 1: no offense to Adelaide, But there is not a sad 357 00:17:20,829 --> 00:17:23,429 Speaker 1: thing than four thirty am. There's something that happens to 358 00:17:23,469 --> 00:17:26,389 Speaker 1: your soul at that time that's like, it's not morning, 359 00:17:26,429 --> 00:17:29,789 Speaker 1: it's not night, it's health and I don't want to 360 00:17:29,829 --> 00:17:30,149 Speaker 1: be here. 361 00:17:30,189 --> 00:17:33,549 Speaker 3: It feels like early on in New year's morning. 362 00:17:33,669 --> 00:17:36,829 Speaker 2: Yeah, every single day, because I would be there during fringe, 363 00:17:36,909 --> 00:17:39,589 Speaker 2: so you'd sort of see feathers and sequins on the 364 00:17:39,629 --> 00:17:44,349 Speaker 2: ground as you're walking around and like discarded bottles, and yeah, 365 00:17:44,389 --> 00:17:44,749 Speaker 2: it was. 366 00:17:44,789 --> 00:17:49,189 Speaker 3: You're right, it is. It's kind of the most tragic 367 00:17:50,629 --> 00:17:51,949 Speaker 3: experience in the world. 368 00:17:51,949 --> 00:17:54,509 Speaker 2: But the most tragic forty five minutes of one's life 369 00:17:54,909 --> 00:17:57,909 Speaker 2: is four thirty am on the streets the next day 370 00:17:57,909 --> 00:17:59,069 Speaker 2: after adelaide for it's. 371 00:17:58,909 --> 00:18:01,749 Speaker 1: Even too early to have coffee. Can we just have 372 00:18:01,829 --> 00:18:06,909 Speaker 1: a really brief wine about the It's always men who 373 00:18:06,949 --> 00:18:09,469 Speaker 1: love to talk about how important sleep is. For your help, 374 00:18:09,829 --> 00:18:13,949 Speaker 1: if I listened about how important sleep is, it's always 375 00:18:13,949 --> 00:18:16,189 Speaker 1: a man who's made the decision not to have children. Yeah, 376 00:18:16,269 --> 00:18:17,949 Speaker 1: and he wants to like the guy who wants to 377 00:18:17,949 --> 00:18:20,189 Speaker 1: live to like three hundred Have you heard him? And 378 00:18:20,229 --> 00:18:23,669 Speaker 1: he's like, it gives you cancer, you'll die early. I'm like, yeah, fuck, 379 00:18:23,709 --> 00:18:27,829 Speaker 1: I know, I know this. It's like I can feel 380 00:18:27,869 --> 00:18:31,309 Speaker 1: it in my bones, I can feel the disease growing. Yeah, 381 00:18:31,789 --> 00:18:33,669 Speaker 1: I'm still not sleepy. 382 00:18:33,829 --> 00:18:36,069 Speaker 2: You can too, have that feeling of like this has 383 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:38,149 Speaker 2: got to be making me sick. 384 00:18:37,949 --> 00:18:44,869 Speaker 1: Forevering in double time before we go, we want to 385 00:18:44,909 --> 00:18:47,349 Speaker 1: ask you to just give us a quick little play 386 00:18:47,389 --> 00:18:50,229 Speaker 1: by play of the chaos of your morning before you 387 00:18:50,269 --> 00:18:52,429 Speaker 1: got on here. You've got two kids who are in school. 388 00:18:52,589 --> 00:18:57,509 Speaker 1: Well it sounds pretty idyllic, blood baking. Yeah, yeah, true, true. 389 00:18:57,509 --> 00:18:59,749 Speaker 2: Yeah, today is a really good day. Not all the 390 00:18:59,829 --> 00:19:01,749 Speaker 2: days arelike this, but this was today. 391 00:19:01,829 --> 00:19:02,189 Speaker 3: Today. 392 00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:05,829 Speaker 2: We were minding two friends dogs, so we woke up. 393 00:19:05,949 --> 00:19:07,709 Speaker 2: One of them was in the bed, not meant to be. 394 00:19:07,909 --> 00:19:10,429 Speaker 2: That's fine, So the kids put up more easy than 395 00:19:10,469 --> 00:19:12,989 Speaker 2: usual because they were excited to play with the dogs. Great, 396 00:19:13,349 --> 00:19:16,149 Speaker 2: but we still barely made it to school on time. 397 00:19:16,469 --> 00:19:19,309 Speaker 2: My husband made the lunches, I brushed their hair and 398 00:19:19,709 --> 00:19:24,509 Speaker 2: fed the dogs. And then I had an online meeting 399 00:19:24,629 --> 00:19:26,229 Speaker 2: for a work thing that's next week. 400 00:19:26,309 --> 00:19:27,549 Speaker 3: And then I had a meeting. 401 00:19:27,309 --> 00:19:30,989 Speaker 2: Without super anyways, guy, so exciting guys, Oh my gosh, 402 00:19:31,029 --> 00:19:32,389 Speaker 2: don't you want to be me? 403 00:19:32,509 --> 00:19:34,909 Speaker 3: And then our friend came around and picked up one 404 00:19:34,949 --> 00:19:37,309 Speaker 3: of the dogs. We still got one, don't worry. And 405 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:38,109 Speaker 3: then I talked to you. 406 00:19:38,149 --> 00:19:39,909 Speaker 2: But yes, I did put some biscuits on, but I 407 00:19:39,989 --> 00:19:41,909 Speaker 2: completely got the timing wrong and had to pull them 408 00:19:41,949 --> 00:19:42,629 Speaker 2: out of the oven. 409 00:19:43,429 --> 00:19:44,349 Speaker 3: Whilst talking to you. 410 00:19:45,269 --> 00:19:48,389 Speaker 1: Nailing it, I saw something on Instagram recently, which was 411 00:19:48,429 --> 00:19:50,309 Speaker 1: a woman who had just dropped her kids to primary 412 00:19:50,349 --> 00:19:53,109 Speaker 1: school and it's just her sitting in the car yelling fuck. 413 00:19:54,029 --> 00:19:58,109 Speaker 1: And that was mum, that was every day, every I 414 00:19:58,189 --> 00:20:02,709 Speaker 1: just remember her screaming, yeah, screaming frustration and the frustration 415 00:20:02,829 --> 00:20:04,789 Speaker 1: of trying to get kids out the door, the guilt. 416 00:20:04,909 --> 00:20:06,189 Speaker 1: None knew I was a piece of shit. 417 00:20:06,629 --> 00:20:10,709 Speaker 3: But it is better than what you are both in. 418 00:20:11,229 --> 00:20:16,029 Speaker 2: So your kids are so excellently cute now, but they 419 00:20:16,069 --> 00:20:19,069 Speaker 2: are so related, Like you're doing nappy changes, and every 420 00:20:19,149 --> 00:20:22,109 Speaker 2: mouthful of food is guided by your hand towards their 421 00:20:22,109 --> 00:20:25,949 Speaker 2: mouth because in theoretically they can eat sort of someone independently, 422 00:20:26,029 --> 00:20:27,069 Speaker 2: but they absolutely can't. 423 00:20:27,149 --> 00:20:29,229 Speaker 3: You've got to be right there. You're cleaning everything. 424 00:20:29,389 --> 00:20:31,789 Speaker 2: You're cleaning the floor and the table and the kitchen 425 00:20:31,829 --> 00:20:36,149 Speaker 2: bench and them afterwards. Like it is so relentless where 426 00:20:36,189 --> 00:20:39,629 Speaker 2: you're at. And I have to keep reminding myself to 427 00:20:39,669 --> 00:20:41,549 Speaker 2: be grateful of this because I think you can take 428 00:20:41,589 --> 00:20:44,189 Speaker 2: it for granted. But this morning, even though it was 429 00:20:44,269 --> 00:20:48,029 Speaker 2: chaos getting them to school, I still got to do the. 430 00:20:48,029 --> 00:20:50,309 Speaker 3: Connections puzzle on the New York Times website. 431 00:20:50,549 --> 00:20:51,749 Speaker 1: Wow, Like I got. 432 00:20:51,549 --> 00:20:53,109 Speaker 2: It all the way to the end, and I didn't 433 00:20:53,109 --> 00:20:55,149 Speaker 2: even make any mistakes, and that was not a thing 434 00:20:55,189 --> 00:20:55,909 Speaker 2: that was happening. 435 00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:58,629 Speaker 3: Well, I mean, the puzzle didn't exist. The point is. 436 00:20:58,669 --> 00:21:01,869 Speaker 3: The point is, like eight years ago, there was not 437 00:21:02,029 --> 00:21:04,629 Speaker 3: a minute to like look at my phone. 438 00:21:04,989 --> 00:21:08,669 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm This is probably something that's adding 439 00:21:08,709 --> 00:21:11,229 Speaker 1: to my trauma is I'm getting into bed and I'm 440 00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:15,029 Speaker 1: doing connections because it's my little moment to myself, and 441 00:21:15,069 --> 00:21:17,069 Speaker 1: then my brain doesn't work, so it's taking me like 442 00:21:17,109 --> 00:21:23,789 Speaker 1: an hour. You're trying to undo the down I'm so broken. 443 00:21:24,149 --> 00:21:28,189 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for your time today. That was 444 00:21:28,349 --> 00:21:31,549 Speaker 1: so much fun. And honestly, one day in the future 445 00:21:31,949 --> 00:21:35,949 Speaker 1: I'll be baking cookies and thinking, oh, the baby bubble 446 00:21:35,989 --> 00:21:36,709 Speaker 1: wasn't so bad. 447 00:21:38,469 --> 00:21:39,789 Speaker 3: Don't write it down. 448 00:21:39,989 --> 00:21:44,269 Speaker 2: Listen back to these episodes. Let us not forget it's 449 00:21:44,309 --> 00:21:44,909 Speaker 2: the worst. 450 00:21:46,989 --> 00:21:48,349 Speaker 1: Thank you so much, Claire. 451 00:21:48,869 --> 00:21:58,869 Speaker 4: Thanks what's the funniest thing you've done? Whilstlee deprived with 452 00:21:58,949 --> 00:21:59,869 Speaker 4: a newborn. 453 00:21:59,669 --> 00:22:01,589 Speaker 5: I was so worried about not dressing the baby in 454 00:22:01,709 --> 00:22:04,789 Speaker 5: enough warm clothes that after rugging him up, I realized 455 00:22:04,909 --> 00:22:07,109 Speaker 5: I left the house in the middle of winter in 456 00:22:07,149 --> 00:22:09,869 Speaker 5: a Singlet's safe to say I got a cold, but 457 00:22:10,349 --> 00:22:11,229 Speaker 5: the baby was okay. 458 00:22:11,669 --> 00:22:14,709 Speaker 1: Once I changed my baby's nappy like normal, I took 459 00:22:14,789 --> 00:22:16,709 Speaker 1: the old one off and put a fresh one on, 460 00:22:17,429 --> 00:22:20,269 Speaker 1: But then I put the old one back on top 461 00:22:20,349 --> 00:22:23,349 Speaker 1: of the new one. Lucky it was dry. 462 00:22:23,909 --> 00:22:25,949 Speaker 5: For the first few months of my baby's life, I 463 00:22:26,029 --> 00:22:29,509 Speaker 5: kept calling her doctor the vet, not the pediatrician, and 464 00:22:29,589 --> 00:22:31,669 Speaker 5: I'd say things like, oh, I'm taking my baby to 465 00:22:31,709 --> 00:22:32,309 Speaker 5: the vet. 466 00:22:32,229 --> 00:22:46,749 Speaker 1: And not the doctor. Crap, crap, crap, crap. Advice, Jesse, 467 00:22:46,869 --> 00:22:50,109 Speaker 1: It's time for our dilemma. This one is from Gemma. 468 00:22:50,389 --> 00:22:53,429 Speaker 1: She wrote in and she wanted some advice, and that's 469 00:22:53,469 --> 00:22:57,749 Speaker 1: what we're really good at. Yeah, Hi, I have a 470 00:22:57,789 --> 00:22:59,909 Speaker 1: dilemma and it's to do with my father in law. 471 00:23:00,629 --> 00:23:04,509 Speaker 1: We all have dilemmas around the We have a strict 472 00:23:04,589 --> 00:23:08,709 Speaker 1: rule around sharing pictures of our baby Leo online. No 473 00:23:08,869 --> 00:23:11,309 Speaker 1: shade to anyone who does pictures, but we made the 474 00:23:11,349 --> 00:23:14,269 Speaker 1: decision before Leo was even born that we wouldn't post 475 00:23:14,469 --> 00:23:17,389 Speaker 1: until he could consent. I'm sorry, I'm just picturing a 476 00:23:17,389 --> 00:23:20,349 Speaker 1: three year old being like now, mom, like signing a form, 477 00:23:20,669 --> 00:23:22,629 Speaker 1: Yeah now you can, no, you can no. I actually 478 00:23:22,669 --> 00:23:26,989 Speaker 1: think this is like Moraley, very very admirable. We shared 479 00:23:26,989 --> 00:23:29,149 Speaker 1: this with the family, and they all seem to get it. 480 00:23:29,389 --> 00:23:31,469 Speaker 1: We have a family group chat where we share videos 481 00:23:31,509 --> 00:23:34,669 Speaker 1: and photos and it's lovely. The problem is Rob, my 482 00:23:34,749 --> 00:23:38,949 Speaker 1: father in law, shares them on Facebook. Sometimes he uploads 483 00:23:38,949 --> 00:23:40,869 Speaker 1: them as a story with a weird filter of the 484 00:23:40,909 --> 00:23:43,269 Speaker 1: top and a song. Once it was something by the 485 00:23:43,309 --> 00:23:46,269 Speaker 1: pussy Cat Dolls. How do we remind Rob that those 486 00:23:46,309 --> 00:23:48,989 Speaker 1: images are private and we don't want them shared. I 487 00:23:49,269 --> 00:23:52,589 Speaker 1: think it. Don't shop, Yeah, don't Shulways, sugar fro was 488 00:23:52,629 --> 00:23:56,469 Speaker 1: hot like Leo and Leo a little booty. Yeah exactly. 489 00:23:58,669 --> 00:24:01,429 Speaker 1: It's probably a really inappropriate one where he's God, He's 490 00:24:01,469 --> 00:24:03,389 Speaker 1: willy out or something, and it's like, okay, now we've 491 00:24:03,389 --> 00:24:06,949 Speaker 1: got Leo's willy out yeah on the internet. Fair. Yeah, 492 00:24:06,949 --> 00:24:09,589 Speaker 1: he's not gonna like that. Look great question. Yeah, you've 493 00:24:09,589 --> 00:24:11,469 Speaker 1: come to the play comes to the right place and 494 00:24:11,549 --> 00:24:14,349 Speaker 1: classic Rob. I could have told you Rob was going 495 00:24:14,349 --> 00:24:16,469 Speaker 1: to pull one of these. We know so many Robs. 496 00:24:16,469 --> 00:24:19,709 Speaker 1: There's only one solution, Okay, can I just say silver lining? Yeah? 497 00:24:19,829 --> 00:24:22,669 Speaker 1: Rob doesn't have Instagram, He only has Facebook. 498 00:24:22,989 --> 00:24:23,189 Speaker 3: Yeah. 499 00:24:23,229 --> 00:24:25,149 Speaker 1: I don't think he has Instagram, and if he does, 500 00:24:25,229 --> 00:24:27,589 Speaker 1: he lost his login. Yeah, and he doesn't post or 501 00:24:27,629 --> 00:24:32,349 Speaker 1: he's very private, whereas his Facebook is obscenely poplished and 502 00:24:33,109 --> 00:24:36,949 Speaker 1: everyone he's added, everyone you know from your wedding. He 503 00:24:36,989 --> 00:24:39,989 Speaker 1: sees a name he recognizes and he goes, that's a friend. Yeah, 504 00:24:40,029 --> 00:24:41,829 Speaker 1: And every now and then he might send a little message. 505 00:24:42,509 --> 00:24:45,749 Speaker 1: He's probably sending these messages privately to all his friends 506 00:24:45,789 --> 00:24:48,549 Speaker 1: as well as putting on his story. Yes, and he's 507 00:24:48,789 --> 00:24:52,589 Speaker 1: feed I think we can all agree that communication gets 508 00:24:52,669 --> 00:24:56,709 Speaker 1: us nowhere, absolutely, and it's weird and we'd rather not. 509 00:24:56,869 --> 00:24:59,669 Speaker 1: Rob is Rob. He loved the cheeky post. I think 510 00:24:59,709 --> 00:25:02,469 Speaker 1: he'd love an album I capture. No one really understands 511 00:25:02,669 --> 00:25:06,149 Speaker 1: that's Rob. Can't change him. He's a proud grandpa. You've 512 00:25:06,149 --> 00:25:09,229 Speaker 1: set a boundary, he's crossed it. We need a solution 513 00:25:09,309 --> 00:25:12,629 Speaker 1: that I'll just come to us. You need to start 514 00:25:12,749 --> 00:25:16,949 Speaker 1: sending him pictures of someone else's baby. It's the only 515 00:25:16,949 --> 00:25:20,949 Speaker 1: way that's brilliant. Do you have a friend you don't 516 00:25:20,989 --> 00:25:26,749 Speaker 1: like very much? And actually, the more the new baby 517 00:25:26,869 --> 00:25:31,109 Speaker 1: looks different to Leo, the batter sex the better, totally 518 00:25:31,149 --> 00:25:36,149 Speaker 1: different features, different hair, different Leo has, Leo suddenly has 519 00:25:36,189 --> 00:25:40,869 Speaker 1: red hair. H Leo is suddenly Laura half And I 520 00:25:40,909 --> 00:25:44,269 Speaker 1: think you remove Rob from the main family groups that 521 00:25:44,349 --> 00:25:46,109 Speaker 1: you do a separate one. You go Rob just for 522 00:25:46,189 --> 00:25:49,029 Speaker 1: you hear some photos of Leo, and because I don't 523 00:25:49,029 --> 00:25:50,909 Speaker 1: think Rob sorry, I don't think Rob gives a fuck 524 00:25:50,949 --> 00:25:51,429 Speaker 1: about lead. 525 00:25:52,309 --> 00:25:52,589 Speaker 3: I don't. 526 00:25:52,629 --> 00:25:55,749 Speaker 1: I just think he needs content. He's a content farm. 527 00:25:55,789 --> 00:25:58,909 Speaker 1: He's just like content, content content. He needs a baby 528 00:25:59,109 --> 00:26:02,189 Speaker 1: to share on Facebook. He doesn't care which one do. 529 00:26:02,229 --> 00:26:06,469 Speaker 1: We actually go totally inconsistent, so it's not just another baby. 530 00:26:06,469 --> 00:26:10,549 Speaker 1: It's actually a variety because we're confusing he's following. We're 531 00:26:10,549 --> 00:26:12,909 Speaker 1: confusing his friends because they're going, that's not the same. 532 00:26:13,069 --> 00:26:16,309 Speaker 1: How many grandkids does this guy have. He's got girls, 533 00:26:16,309 --> 00:26:19,469 Speaker 1: he's got boys, he's got big ones, he's got small ones. 534 00:26:20,189 --> 00:26:22,229 Speaker 1: I think it would also if you wanted to maybe 535 00:26:22,429 --> 00:26:25,309 Speaker 1: steal images from your mother's groups. Sometimes we did kind 536 00:26:25,309 --> 00:26:27,829 Speaker 1: of Oh, everyone, show you've got your one year old. 537 00:26:28,389 --> 00:26:31,029 Speaker 1: Just steal them. In fact, steal four of them and 538 00:26:31,069 --> 00:26:33,709 Speaker 1: be like, here's Leo on his first birthday, and it's 539 00:26:33,789 --> 00:26:36,989 Speaker 1: like that's four different images with four different cake. I 540 00:26:36,989 --> 00:26:39,309 Speaker 1: think that you do that, and it's a way as 541 00:26:39,349 --> 00:26:42,989 Speaker 1: well of starting shit for no reason, because someone could 542 00:26:43,029 --> 00:26:46,389 Speaker 1: and will find out maybe yeah, that Rob is sharing 543 00:26:46,389 --> 00:26:48,429 Speaker 1: images of their baby and it's just nice and passive 544 00:26:48,469 --> 00:26:52,069 Speaker 1: aggressive and Rob is you know what a man in 545 00:26:52,109 --> 00:26:57,549 Speaker 1: the sixties sharing images of babies that I'm his. I'll 546 00:26:57,589 --> 00:27:01,309 Speaker 1: just say, comeuppance. He is going to get a come 547 00:27:01,349 --> 00:27:04,989 Speaker 1: upon someone called the bullies. I have another piece of advice. 548 00:27:05,629 --> 00:27:09,309 Speaker 1: I think we did something to mum once where we 549 00:27:10,229 --> 00:27:12,909 Speaker 1: went onto her Facebook. She left at logdown and we 550 00:27:13,029 --> 00:27:16,429 Speaker 1: changed her settings to private. So what it meant was 551 00:27:16,469 --> 00:27:19,869 Speaker 1: that when Mum was doing a cheeky post, she was 552 00:27:19,909 --> 00:27:23,549 Speaker 1: starting shit and her status is she was commenting controversial stuff. 553 00:27:23,589 --> 00:27:27,109 Speaker 1: She was changing her DP no one could see it, 554 00:27:27,229 --> 00:27:29,509 Speaker 1: and she was like, it's weird. No one's commenting on it. 555 00:27:29,629 --> 00:27:32,869 Speaker 1: My engagement is down, and it's like, you need to 556 00:27:32,869 --> 00:27:36,189 Speaker 1: stop starting shit and when you do, we'll put your 557 00:27:36,229 --> 00:27:38,869 Speaker 1: settings back on. But Rob doesn't know where his settings are. 558 00:27:39,069 --> 00:27:41,549 Speaker 1: He doesn't understand his settings. He's going to get sad 559 00:27:41,549 --> 00:27:44,989 Speaker 1: because he's going to say my engagement has plummeted. I 560 00:27:45,029 --> 00:27:46,589 Speaker 1: don't think it'll keep him up at night. I think 561 00:27:46,629 --> 00:27:49,069 Speaker 1: he'll just keep going. I think he'll just keep posting. 562 00:27:49,149 --> 00:27:52,029 Speaker 1: And that's fine. Because Rob's posting pictures to Rob's private town. 563 00:27:53,989 --> 00:27:57,149 Speaker 1: I think that's actually a great solution I think so too, Claire. 564 00:27:57,189 --> 00:28:00,029 Speaker 1: What are you thinking for Gemma? I have a couple. Okay, 565 00:28:00,069 --> 00:28:05,389 Speaker 1: so firstly underrated but becoming increasingly popular. Is you make 566 00:28:05,429 --> 00:28:10,749 Speaker 1: a TikTok calling robout, So just piece to camera, yeah, yeah, 567 00:28:10,749 --> 00:28:13,429 Speaker 1: and you viral. He goes so viral. It's on news 568 00:28:13,429 --> 00:28:15,469 Speaker 1: dot com. Yeah, I will see it there. He won't 569 00:28:15,469 --> 00:28:17,629 Speaker 1: say it on TikTok, but he'll see it ONWS. Yeah's 570 00:28:17,669 --> 00:28:20,869 Speaker 1: friends will yeah, And so the news will be shared 571 00:28:20,909 --> 00:28:25,509 Speaker 1: to Facebook where Robbie. Yeah, so you're where Rob lives. Yeah, 572 00:28:25,709 --> 00:28:28,069 Speaker 1: So you're speaking to camera and you're just saying my 573 00:28:28,149 --> 00:28:31,149 Speaker 1: father in law, and you're actually you're sharing name. I 574 00:28:31,149 --> 00:28:33,789 Speaker 1: think you're going you're sharing his full name. You're sharing 575 00:28:33,829 --> 00:28:37,549 Speaker 1: screenshots of him, and you're sharing that, and then they're 576 00:28:37,549 --> 00:28:40,069 Speaker 1: actually tens of thousands of comments saying Rob mate, you're 577 00:28:40,069 --> 00:28:42,549 Speaker 1: out of line. Yeah, And so Rob learns that way. 578 00:28:42,749 --> 00:28:44,789 Speaker 1: That's one solution, And you do it as like, am 579 00:28:44,829 --> 00:28:45,589 Speaker 1: I the asshole? 580 00:28:45,669 --> 00:28:45,869 Speaker 6: Yeah? 581 00:28:45,909 --> 00:28:47,629 Speaker 1: But you know, but no one ever asked that thinking 582 00:28:47,669 --> 00:28:49,349 Speaker 1: about the assholes. Yeah, they do it when it is 583 00:28:49,469 --> 00:28:54,309 Speaker 1: unequivocal than the other person. Rob is the second idea. 584 00:28:54,909 --> 00:28:58,629 Speaker 1: You get Leo to confront him oh shit. Now what 585 00:28:58,709 --> 00:29:03,709 Speaker 1: you do is, I'm going to imagine Leo can sit okay, 586 00:29:03,989 --> 00:29:06,589 Speaker 1: because they just look a little bit more aggressive once 587 00:29:06,629 --> 00:29:10,829 Speaker 1: they can sit unsupported. Yeah yeah. And what you do 588 00:29:11,069 --> 00:29:12,949 Speaker 1: and often they have like you put them in kind 589 00:29:12,989 --> 00:29:16,109 Speaker 1: of a white single. Yeah they've got so they clench 590 00:29:16,189 --> 00:29:18,909 Speaker 1: their fists, they look like they're gonna eat. Yeah, yeah, exactly. 591 00:29:19,029 --> 00:29:23,269 Speaker 1: So you sit Leo down opposite and he's hello Leo, 592 00:29:23,389 --> 00:29:27,229 Speaker 1: Hello Leo. And then you speak in Leo's voice because 593 00:29:27,229 --> 00:29:28,869 Speaker 1: you know what Leo's voice is, you know what kind 594 00:29:28,869 --> 00:29:31,949 Speaker 1: of language he uses. And you tell Rob like a 595 00:29:32,469 --> 00:29:35,549 Speaker 1: like a puppet. Yeah yeah, yeah, yeah, you say, stop 596 00:29:35,589 --> 00:29:40,069 Speaker 1: posting photos of me grandpa. Yeah. Will Rob notice that 597 00:29:40,229 --> 00:29:43,989 Speaker 1: Leo's mouth isn't moving, absolutely not, He'll understand, all right. 598 00:29:44,349 --> 00:29:48,109 Speaker 1: Third thing, this is actually like a onety three punch 599 00:29:48,189 --> 00:29:52,789 Speaker 1: kind of do them all together, take unflattering photos of 600 00:29:52,989 --> 00:29:56,229 Speaker 1: Rob and share them on the internet without his consent. 601 00:29:56,629 --> 00:29:59,509 Speaker 1: Oh wow, because I think one of the reasons that 602 00:29:59,669 --> 00:30:02,629 Speaker 1: you know, you do want people not sharing photos with 603 00:30:02,709 --> 00:30:06,109 Speaker 1: baby is because what if the angle's not right? Yeah? 604 00:30:06,109 --> 00:30:08,749 Speaker 1: And what I shared pictures to you, I've gone Lona's 605 00:30:08,789 --> 00:30:11,669 Speaker 1: never looked like yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, she's the most 606 00:30:11,709 --> 00:30:13,709 Speaker 1: she is the most beautiful baby ever born. But that's 607 00:30:13,709 --> 00:30:16,709 Speaker 1: not an angle. That's not a wrangle. She looks bald. Yeah, 608 00:30:16,829 --> 00:30:18,549 Speaker 1: that's not a great photo of her. I hadn't put 609 00:30:18,589 --> 00:30:21,589 Speaker 1: a bow in a hair, no, And I think that's 610 00:30:21,669 --> 00:30:23,829 Speaker 1: kind of You're a bit protective because you go, let 611 00:30:23,869 --> 00:30:25,829 Speaker 1: me be the filter of what old in the same 612 00:30:25,829 --> 00:30:28,669 Speaker 1: way I'm not putting up ugly photos on Instagram. You 613 00:30:28,709 --> 00:30:32,269 Speaker 1: want the best ones of Leo. Yeah, so you go Rob, Hey, Rob, 614 00:30:32,349 --> 00:30:35,709 Speaker 1: look at me, and Rob go, what? And you a photo? Ye, 615 00:30:35,909 --> 00:30:38,029 Speaker 1: and you put it everywhere and Rob says, why did 616 00:30:38,069 --> 00:30:39,549 Speaker 1: you do that? And you say, that's what you're doing 617 00:30:39,589 --> 00:30:43,989 Speaker 1: about Leo mid sneeze, Mida, just play with it. I 618 00:30:44,029 --> 00:30:46,869 Speaker 1: love it. So I think we do all of the above. Yep. 619 00:30:46,949 --> 00:30:49,189 Speaker 1: What we don't do is communicate directly with Rob and 620 00:30:49,229 --> 00:30:52,869 Speaker 1: tell him about our boundaries, because that would solve the 621 00:30:52,909 --> 00:30:55,189 Speaker 1: problem and be significantly less funny. 622 00:30:55,309 --> 00:31:05,829 Speaker 6: Yeah. 623 00:31:05,909 --> 00:31:08,869 Speaker 1: We hope you enjoyed this episode of The Baby Bubble 624 00:31:08,909 --> 00:31:12,509 Speaker 1: and didn't find anything remotely helpful. Thanks to Claire Hooper 625 00:31:12,549 --> 00:31:14,829 Speaker 1: for joining us. We will link to all of her 626 00:31:14,869 --> 00:31:17,589 Speaker 1: stuff in the show notes. This season, we've asked a 627 00:31:17,709 --> 00:31:20,349 Speaker 1: bunch of comedians to join us in the Baby Bubble 628 00:31:20,549 --> 00:31:23,269 Speaker 1: to debrief about the funniest thing we and they have 629 00:31:23,349 --> 00:31:26,989 Speaker 1: ever done parenting. From critiquing children's books to the topic 630 00:31:27,029 --> 00:31:29,469 Speaker 1: of having a second child, we are covering it all, 631 00:31:29,669 --> 00:31:32,269 Speaker 1: so make sure you're following along in your favorite podcast 632 00:31:32,349 --> 00:31:34,629 Speaker 1: app so you don't miss a moment of it. If 633 00:31:34,669 --> 00:31:37,349 Speaker 1: you enjoyed this podcast, we'd love it if you'd scroll 634 00:31:37,429 --> 00:31:39,069 Speaker 1: to the part of the app you're listening on and 635 00:31:39,189 --> 00:31:41,509 Speaker 1: leave a little review and share it with a friend, 636 00:31:41,629 --> 00:31:45,029 Speaker 1: maybe someone new to the Baby Bubble. Will it help them? No? 637 00:31:45,669 --> 00:31:48,829 Speaker 1: But will it make them laugh? Maybe no, We hope so. 638 00:31:48,869 --> 00:31:51,749 Speaker 1: The Baby Bubble is produced by Taylor Strano with audio 639 00:31:51,749 --> 00:31:59,389 Speaker 1: production by Teagan Sadler. We'll see you next week. Bye bye.