1 00:00:08,234 --> 00:00:14,993 Speaker 1: You're listening to a mother and mea podcast. You were 2 00:00:15,114 --> 00:00:16,194 Speaker 1: so pretty jesty. 3 00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:17,074 Speaker 2: Oh my god. 4 00:00:17,154 --> 00:00:19,314 Speaker 3: I was just thinking I just looked very, very washed down. 5 00:00:19,634 --> 00:00:22,274 Speaker 1: I don't want to hear you complain anymore. Very best. 6 00:00:22,634 --> 00:00:25,634 Speaker 1: I'm just going to say, Mary best to you anytime time. 7 00:00:26,074 --> 00:00:28,794 Speaker 3: Well, I was saying that how many times did she have? 8 00:00:29,754 --> 00:00:31,874 Speaker 3: I think she's got at least three sets? And she 9 00:00:32,034 --> 00:00:34,913 Speaker 3: was all right, So I'm like, mate, I can do it. 10 00:00:35,634 --> 00:00:38,754 Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to MoMA Mia out loud. It's what 11 00:00:38,793 --> 00:00:42,273 Speaker 2: women are actually talking about on Wednesday, the twelfth of November. 12 00:00:42,314 --> 00:00:44,793 Speaker 2: I'm Holly Wayne Wright, I'm Amelia Lester. 13 00:00:44,674 --> 00:00:45,954 Speaker 3: And I'm Jesse Stevens. 14 00:00:46,233 --> 00:00:48,714 Speaker 2: And here's what's made our agenda for today. 15 00:00:49,273 --> 00:00:52,353 Speaker 1: A sixty five year old woman was denied custody of 16 00:00:52,354 --> 00:00:56,194 Speaker 1: her fifteenth child by US court. Now that story is wild, 17 00:00:56,273 --> 00:00:58,234 Speaker 1: and we will bring you all the details about it, 18 00:00:58,273 --> 00:01:01,154 Speaker 1: but it's also provoked a lot of debate around the 19 00:01:01,154 --> 00:01:05,514 Speaker 1: office here about why old moms get so many feelings 20 00:01:05,514 --> 00:01:07,554 Speaker 1: and so much outrage and old dad is just going 21 00:01:07,554 --> 00:01:07,954 Speaker 1: to pass. 22 00:01:08,234 --> 00:01:11,434 Speaker 3: I was late to this record because I cornered me 23 00:01:11,514 --> 00:01:13,994 Speaker 3: out and we just couldn't stop talking about it. I 24 00:01:14,034 --> 00:01:16,434 Speaker 3: have so many thoughts about this story. I'm desperate to 25 00:01:16,434 --> 00:01:16,914 Speaker 3: talk about it. 26 00:01:17,234 --> 00:01:21,234 Speaker 2: Also, what's a grief vampire? And why is an alleged 27 00:01:21,234 --> 00:01:23,634 Speaker 2: one filling theaters around Australia this week? 28 00:01:23,874 --> 00:01:28,074 Speaker 3: And Black Friday creep You may have noticed it. I 29 00:01:28,194 --> 00:01:31,474 Speaker 3: very unsurprisingly have some concerns I would like to table. 30 00:01:31,794 --> 00:01:34,314 Speaker 2: But first, in case you missed it, and I'm sure 31 00:01:34,354 --> 00:01:37,794 Speaker 2: you did, Princess Anne is here and nobody cares even 32 00:01:37,834 --> 00:01:38,274 Speaker 2: a little bit. 33 00:01:38,394 --> 00:01:40,074 Speaker 3: You didn't put that in my calendar, I know. 34 00:01:40,914 --> 00:01:43,034 Speaker 2: And the given all the who ha, we have a 35 00:01:43,034 --> 00:01:46,994 Speaker 2: Brown Royal tours. It's amazing that the fourth most popular royal. 36 00:01:47,234 --> 00:01:49,514 Speaker 2: Actually I think she's the third one popular royal. 37 00:01:49,914 --> 00:01:50,994 Speaker 3: It's such a lie. 38 00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:55,714 Speaker 2: She's the third most to the UK Government. They survey 39 00:01:55,794 --> 00:01:56,394 Speaker 2: this stuff. 40 00:01:56,794 --> 00:01:58,794 Speaker 3: I couldn't pick her out of a lineup. I probably 41 00:01:58,794 --> 00:02:00,674 Speaker 3: walked past her on the way to the office. There's 42 00:02:00,674 --> 00:02:01,754 Speaker 3: no way I'd advertize her. 43 00:02:01,874 --> 00:02:06,314 Speaker 2: Our producer's husband did walk past. She just walk pretty 44 00:02:06,394 --> 00:02:09,514 Speaker 2: down anyway. She is the third most popular royal because 45 00:02:09,554 --> 00:02:12,034 Speaker 2: she is well known for being the most hard working. Right, 46 00:02:12,434 --> 00:02:15,514 Speaker 2: so the royal ranking as of now, according to the 47 00:02:15,554 --> 00:02:20,674 Speaker 2: UK Government, goes Catherine William and Charlie. There you go 48 00:02:20,954 --> 00:02:24,874 Speaker 2: just I'm telling you if these are facts facts anyway, 49 00:02:24,914 --> 00:02:27,594 Speaker 2: the fact that we don't know I was all very oh, look, 50 00:02:27,594 --> 00:02:29,594 Speaker 2: we only care about royals when they're young and glamorous 51 00:02:29,594 --> 00:02:31,073 Speaker 2: and dah da da dah. But it's actually a little 52 00:02:31,114 --> 00:02:33,994 Speaker 2: bit by design. She's here at the invitation of the 53 00:02:33,994 --> 00:02:38,274 Speaker 2: Australian Army because they're celebrating the centenary of the Royal 54 00:02:38,354 --> 00:02:42,394 Speaker 2: Australian Corps of Signals and she is their colonel in chief. 55 00:02:42,874 --> 00:02:44,794 Speaker 3: So is it Remembering Stay adjacent, Yes. 56 00:02:44,714 --> 00:02:47,834 Speaker 2: It's Remembering Day adjacent. It's their centenary and that is 57 00:02:47,874 --> 00:02:50,874 Speaker 2: an area of the army that doesn't get as much 58 00:02:50,914 --> 00:02:53,234 Speaker 2: glory as a lot of the others because it's not 59 00:02:53,274 --> 00:02:57,594 Speaker 2: a combat wing. But it's like signalers communications support, so 60 00:02:58,114 --> 00:03:02,754 Speaker 2: not unlike Princess and vital to the operation, but not 61 00:03:02,794 --> 00:03:05,234 Speaker 2: necessarily getting all the heralding anyway. So she's here, she's 62 00:03:05,234 --> 00:03:08,234 Speaker 2: doing a few cities. She apparently brings a tiny entrige, 63 00:03:08,274 --> 00:03:11,394 Speaker 2: so just her husband Tim, who inspects the troops with 64 00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:15,314 Speaker 2: her and stuff, her secretary and like one assistant. 65 00:03:15,554 --> 00:03:18,594 Speaker 1: So she does not bring, as Charles's rumor to a 66 00:03:18,714 --> 00:03:21,794 Speaker 1: mobile martini mixer who travels with her everywhere. 67 00:03:21,794 --> 00:03:23,233 Speaker 2: She's really missed a trick there. 68 00:03:23,434 --> 00:03:25,394 Speaker 3: I think she sources them like a lee. 69 00:03:25,834 --> 00:03:28,674 Speaker 2: Well, we do have good Martini tit, so she keeps 70 00:03:28,674 --> 00:03:30,874 Speaker 2: it on the down low. And also none of the 71 00:03:30,914 --> 00:03:33,314 Speaker 2: royal roader have come, so none of the big royal 72 00:03:33,354 --> 00:03:35,674 Speaker 2: reporters are following Anna around. They've all been in Brazil 73 00:03:35,794 --> 00:03:39,394 Speaker 2: photographing William looking handsome on the Amazon and Rememberance Day 74 00:03:39,394 --> 00:03:42,034 Speaker 2: in England where all the other royals have been on display. 75 00:03:42,474 --> 00:03:44,594 Speaker 2: So I just want it out there that there is 76 00:03:44,634 --> 00:03:48,074 Speaker 2: a royal in our midst. But that brings us to 77 00:03:48,154 --> 00:03:51,314 Speaker 2: the other bit of royal gossip from today, Harry and Mix, 78 00:03:51,834 --> 00:03:54,114 Speaker 2: the Dutchess and Duke of wherever it is they live 79 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:59,274 Speaker 2: these days. Want Sito went to christ Jenna's seventieth birthday 80 00:03:59,274 --> 00:04:01,834 Speaker 2: party that you wonderful people discussed on Monday. It was 81 00:04:01,954 --> 00:04:04,834 Speaker 2: the most star studied of events. 82 00:04:04,954 --> 00:04:07,274 Speaker 1: The fallout continues, it really does. 83 00:04:07,554 --> 00:04:12,194 Speaker 2: They were photographed with Chris, with Kim, with everyone until 84 00:04:12,234 --> 00:04:13,474 Speaker 2: they were okay. 85 00:04:13,514 --> 00:04:16,674 Speaker 3: Can you explain this to me because I keep seeing 86 00:04:16,714 --> 00:04:21,193 Speaker 3: the headline that photos were deleted? So did Chris and 87 00:04:21,274 --> 00:04:25,433 Speaker 3: Kim actually post photos with Meghan Harry and then remove 88 00:04:25,474 --> 00:04:27,073 Speaker 3: those photos? Why? 89 00:04:27,313 --> 00:04:29,154 Speaker 2: Well, This is what we need to unpack because obviously 90 00:04:29,154 --> 00:04:31,953 Speaker 2: there isn't an official line why but as somebody who 91 00:04:31,953 --> 00:04:34,993 Speaker 2: has been following this party obsessively, because I cannot get 92 00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:38,394 Speaker 2: my head around the fact there was a party that 93 00:04:38,513 --> 00:04:43,073 Speaker 2: Bill Gates, Mark Zuckerberg, Beyonce, like, it just boggles me. 94 00:04:43,154 --> 00:04:47,234 Speaker 2: I can't get my friends in the same room, like anyway. 95 00:04:47,354 --> 00:04:48,953 Speaker 3: I don't, Yeah, your friends aren't. 96 00:04:49,553 --> 00:04:54,193 Speaker 2: Surely are important anyway. I've been following it. So I 97 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,553 Speaker 2: saw all the pictures, and there's Harry and Meg's with 98 00:04:56,633 --> 00:04:59,633 Speaker 2: various Kardashians just last night with the pictures of just 99 00:04:59,753 --> 00:05:03,354 Speaker 2: Meghan and Kim together smiling for the cameras. Today all gone. 100 00:05:03,714 --> 00:05:06,553 Speaker 2: The reporting is that Harry and Meghan requested them to 101 00:05:06,594 --> 00:05:08,954 Speaker 2: be taken down. What do we think about that? 102 00:05:09,433 --> 00:05:12,914 Speaker 1: So some context. On the same night was the biggest 103 00:05:13,193 --> 00:05:17,873 Speaker 1: celebrity event of the year in Los Angeles outside of 104 00:05:17,873 --> 00:05:21,153 Speaker 1: industry events, which is Baby to Baby's gala. Baby to 105 00:05:21,234 --> 00:05:26,073 Speaker 1: Baby is a charity exclusively populated by a less celebrities, 106 00:05:27,234 --> 00:05:29,314 Speaker 1: and everyone wants to be invited to that gala. It's 107 00:05:29,354 --> 00:05:31,594 Speaker 1: like a really big deal to be invited to that gala. 108 00:05:32,313 --> 00:05:35,394 Speaker 1: And Harry Meghan went to that and I think that 109 00:05:35,513 --> 00:05:38,314 Speaker 1: they just sort of thought of Christianna's party is a 110 00:05:38,313 --> 00:05:40,193 Speaker 1: bit of an after party, a bit of a lark 111 00:05:40,274 --> 00:05:42,594 Speaker 1: to go to after the main event of the evening, 112 00:05:42,594 --> 00:05:44,193 Speaker 1: which was again a big deal for them to be 113 00:05:44,193 --> 00:05:46,074 Speaker 1: invited to. And I just think they thought they were 114 00:05:46,073 --> 00:05:47,154 Speaker 1: going to go under the radar. 115 00:05:47,313 --> 00:05:48,954 Speaker 2: Well, I'm sure you're right that they did, but what 116 00:05:49,034 --> 00:05:51,593 Speaker 2: a stupid thing to think. Have you met a Cardashian before, 117 00:05:51,794 --> 00:05:52,714 Speaker 2: do you think they're not going. 118 00:05:52,714 --> 00:05:55,953 Speaker 1: To be They're not under the radar people. 119 00:05:56,274 --> 00:05:58,993 Speaker 3: So our theory is that Meghan and Harry have asked 120 00:05:59,034 --> 00:05:59,714 Speaker 3: for them removal. 121 00:05:59,873 --> 00:06:02,794 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I think that's that's clear. But the question 122 00:06:02,953 --> 00:06:04,273 Speaker 1: is why, why do you think? 123 00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:06,633 Speaker 2: Well, I think they immediately I mean, not that this 124 00:06:06,674 --> 00:06:08,953 Speaker 2: is new, but they immediately got a lot of flak 125 00:06:09,073 --> 00:06:11,593 Speaker 2: for being at that party, even though, as discussed, the 126 00:06:11,594 --> 00:06:13,234 Speaker 2: most powerful people in the world were at that party. 127 00:06:13,234 --> 00:06:16,113 Speaker 2: There's a lot of sneering and this shows how far 128 00:06:16,154 --> 00:06:18,833 Speaker 2: from the royal family they've fallen and stuff. I think 129 00:06:18,873 --> 00:06:21,273 Speaker 2: it's not very on brand for Harry, who's still trying 130 00:06:21,313 --> 00:06:22,794 Speaker 2: to keep a foot in the royal camp, to have 131 00:06:22,794 --> 00:06:26,034 Speaker 2: been at that party. But in my opinion, they look 132 00:06:26,154 --> 00:06:28,553 Speaker 2: like idiots for asking those pictures to be taken down. 133 00:06:28,674 --> 00:06:31,753 Speaker 2: Either don't go, or go and know that you're going 134 00:06:31,794 --> 00:06:34,394 Speaker 2: to be photographed. Yeah, they're a picture of Bill Gates 135 00:06:34,553 --> 00:06:37,073 Speaker 2: and Mark Zuckerberg playing what's the thing you play with 136 00:06:37,113 --> 00:06:40,433 Speaker 2: the discs Roulette? And I'm like, if they can be 137 00:06:40,474 --> 00:06:44,234 Speaker 2: photographed at Christians but you're too precious and important. 138 00:06:44,073 --> 00:06:47,474 Speaker 3: Okay, Because the other theory is that it was Remembrance 139 00:06:47,513 --> 00:06:49,594 Speaker 3: Day weekend and now he was wearing his poppies, and 140 00:06:49,674 --> 00:06:52,753 Speaker 3: he was wearing his poppy, which in an American context 141 00:06:52,834 --> 00:06:53,794 Speaker 3: didn't make sense to a lot of. 142 00:06:53,953 --> 00:06:55,753 Speaker 1: Everyone would have thought of it as just sort of 143 00:06:55,753 --> 00:06:59,193 Speaker 1: a corsage flower. By the way, I love his thought 144 00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:01,714 Speaker 1: process on that. So he and Meg's are getting ready, 145 00:07:02,193 --> 00:07:04,313 Speaker 1: He's like, no, it's really important that I wear the 146 00:07:04,354 --> 00:07:07,713 Speaker 1: poppy for Remembrance Day, which is not marked in the US, 147 00:07:07,714 --> 00:07:09,594 Speaker 1: so no one's going to know what I'm doing, but 148 00:07:09,594 --> 00:07:12,794 Speaker 1: it's really important because is there any better way to 149 00:07:12,994 --> 00:07:17,714 Speaker 1: mark and to commemorate the sacrifice of the fallen. Then 150 00:07:17,794 --> 00:07:19,834 Speaker 1: by going to Chris Jenny. 151 00:07:21,554 --> 00:07:24,794 Speaker 3: I'm going to defend him because all this criticism and 152 00:07:24,874 --> 00:07:27,514 Speaker 3: chatter going look over here at what Kate and William 153 00:07:27,554 --> 00:07:30,754 Speaker 3: are doing. They're at all the really long ceremonies in 154 00:07:30,794 --> 00:07:33,754 Speaker 3: their black looking very somber and doing all the royal things. 155 00:07:33,754 --> 00:07:34,474 Speaker 2: It's a big deal. 156 00:07:34,754 --> 00:07:37,474 Speaker 3: And then it is a stark contrast to then see 157 00:07:37,594 --> 00:07:41,393 Speaker 3: Megan and Harry. But of course the context that a 158 00:07:41,393 --> 00:07:43,914 Speaker 3: lot of that reporting missed was how many events Harry 159 00:07:43,953 --> 00:07:47,514 Speaker 3: did that week that were very much in you know, 160 00:07:47,594 --> 00:07:48,793 Speaker 3: his work with Jesse. 161 00:07:49,114 --> 00:07:52,874 Speaker 1: Come on, I did a lot then, to Chris Jenner's 162 00:07:52,914 --> 00:07:55,194 Speaker 1: party at Jeff bezos Man. 163 00:07:55,393 --> 00:07:59,914 Speaker 2: Yes, I think Jesse. I don't have a problem with 164 00:07:59,953 --> 00:08:02,234 Speaker 2: them going, like they should go to all the celebrity 165 00:08:02,234 --> 00:08:05,953 Speaker 2: parties they want to. My problem is going And again 166 00:08:06,393 --> 00:08:08,953 Speaker 2: I'm with you, let's pretend we didn't go, because that 167 00:08:09,074 --> 00:08:11,234 Speaker 2: might be a bad look. It's like, if you're worried 168 00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:13,234 Speaker 2: about your reputation and remembers to and all the things, 169 00:08:13,274 --> 00:08:15,074 Speaker 2: then don't go, just go home after the baby to 170 00:08:15,114 --> 00:08:17,554 Speaker 2: baby and put your feet up, or you go and 171 00:08:17,594 --> 00:08:19,394 Speaker 2: you embrace the fact that you are at a party. 172 00:08:19,554 --> 00:08:20,314 Speaker 3: Own it that. 173 00:08:20,354 --> 00:08:22,994 Speaker 2: Literally exists for the purposes of being shown off on 174 00:08:23,034 --> 00:08:25,634 Speaker 2: social media. I have seen more pictures of that party 175 00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:26,593 Speaker 2: than I've seen of your wedding. 176 00:08:26,834 --> 00:08:29,914 Speaker 3: Oh, one hundred percent. My favorite hobby now is zooming 177 00:08:29,953 --> 00:08:31,794 Speaker 3: in to see what celebrities I can find in the 178 00:08:31,834 --> 00:08:35,034 Speaker 3: background who didn't make it into the foreground, Like it 179 00:08:35,154 --> 00:08:39,594 Speaker 3: is so star studded, it is so fun just own 180 00:08:39,634 --> 00:08:40,074 Speaker 3: that you went. 181 00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:42,154 Speaker 1: I don't know if you saw this photo. Did you 182 00:08:42,194 --> 00:08:44,634 Speaker 1: see Justin Bieber coming into the party? 183 00:08:44,794 --> 00:08:46,394 Speaker 3: It was side on, so I didn't know it was 184 00:08:46,554 --> 00:08:47,914 Speaker 3: Justin Bieber saw him down there. 185 00:08:47,954 --> 00:08:51,714 Speaker 1: He is famously underdressed. We've seen many pictures of him 186 00:08:51,794 --> 00:08:55,434 Speaker 1: dressed in basketball shorts next to his impeccably dressed wife, 187 00:08:55,434 --> 00:08:58,314 Speaker 1: Haley Bieber. But on this occasion he did wear a suit. 188 00:08:58,554 --> 00:09:00,834 Speaker 1: It's really unfortunate though, because he must have put the 189 00:09:00,874 --> 00:09:03,154 Speaker 1: suit on and then decided that he really needed to 190 00:09:03,154 --> 00:09:06,154 Speaker 1: bake some sour dough, because he did have a little 191 00:09:06,154 --> 00:09:11,154 Speaker 1: bit of flower on his power white powder. Yeah, that's 192 00:09:11,674 --> 00:09:14,074 Speaker 1: sometimes you just got to bake a sour dough, don't you. 193 00:09:14,274 --> 00:09:16,514 Speaker 3: Exactly, Or you've just eaten some and you get a 194 00:09:16,514 --> 00:09:20,754 Speaker 3: little bit of a white mark powder, a flower flower. 195 00:09:22,874 --> 00:09:26,314 Speaker 1: My hero of the party, though, is the cranky neighbor 196 00:09:26,354 --> 00:09:27,634 Speaker 1: who called the cops. 197 00:09:28,434 --> 00:09:29,874 Speaker 2: I mean, you're. 198 00:09:30,234 --> 00:09:32,834 Speaker 1: Out, Like this is what we say when we say 199 00:09:32,874 --> 00:09:35,274 Speaker 1: eat the rich. What we really mean is call the 200 00:09:35,354 --> 00:09:37,634 Speaker 1: cops on the rich People's party. Good on? 201 00:09:37,714 --> 00:09:42,994 Speaker 3: You can we urgently talk about Black Friday creep because 202 00:09:43,234 --> 00:09:47,874 Speaker 3: according to my very thorough research, Black Friday sales officially 203 00:09:48,314 --> 00:09:51,634 Speaker 3: twenty eighth of November, and according to Holly wayIn right 204 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,314 Speaker 3: at the top of Today's show, today is only November. 205 00:09:54,354 --> 00:09:58,714 Speaker 3: That's true, So there are days between now and Black Friday. 206 00:09:59,114 --> 00:10:02,354 Speaker 3: So why is the top email in my inbox about 207 00:10:02,354 --> 00:10:03,274 Speaker 3: Black Friday sales? 208 00:10:03,314 --> 00:10:07,314 Speaker 2: They're kicking off in Australia on November the eighteenth, That's 209 00:10:07,314 --> 00:10:09,834 Speaker 2: what I've been told, Like it might be the twenty eighth, 210 00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:11,674 Speaker 2: but I think it starts on the eighteenth. But then 211 00:10:11,714 --> 00:10:12,953 Speaker 2: it's already started. 212 00:10:12,594 --> 00:10:14,914 Speaker 3: On some sites I don't know, they've already kicked off. 213 00:10:14,954 --> 00:10:18,354 Speaker 3: And we are also already in the midst of something 214 00:10:18,434 --> 00:10:19,434 Speaker 3: called click Frenzy. 215 00:10:19,474 --> 00:10:20,274 Speaker 2: Oh yeah, that's that. 216 00:10:20,474 --> 00:10:23,674 Speaker 1: Sorry, Sorry, yeah, I don't know what's click friends. 217 00:10:23,794 --> 00:10:27,994 Speaker 3: Click Frenzy started maybe yesterday and it ends at midnight 218 00:10:28,314 --> 00:10:32,354 Speaker 3: on Friday, and it's three full days of just mad 219 00:10:32,394 --> 00:10:36,114 Speaker 3: internet sales. I guess, so click Frenzy is upon us. 220 00:10:36,354 --> 00:10:37,594 Speaker 1: What about Cyber Monday. 221 00:10:37,754 --> 00:10:40,354 Speaker 3: Cyber Monday is first of December. 222 00:10:40,034 --> 00:10:42,754 Speaker 1: And then there's giving Tuesday. Okay, what's Giving Tuesday. 223 00:10:43,074 --> 00:10:44,634 Speaker 2: It's Giving Tuesday. Really Giving. 224 00:10:44,954 --> 00:10:46,754 Speaker 1: Giving Tuesday is the one where you meant to give 225 00:10:46,794 --> 00:10:49,074 Speaker 1: to charity, and weirdly it hasn't taken off like the 226 00:10:49,114 --> 00:10:50,674 Speaker 1: other That's. 227 00:10:50,554 --> 00:10:52,954 Speaker 2: What I've had off Giving Tuesday, which is the worst 228 00:10:53,034 --> 00:10:53,554 Speaker 2: day of the week. 229 00:10:53,834 --> 00:10:57,354 Speaker 3: Okay, So I have a question. I know this originated 230 00:10:57,394 --> 00:11:00,114 Speaker 3: in the US, the whole Black Friday thing. Can you, Amelia, 231 00:11:00,154 --> 00:11:02,514 Speaker 3: can you explain the context because I'm confused as to 232 00:11:02,554 --> 00:11:04,474 Speaker 3: why the end of November is now I'm being in sale. 233 00:11:04,594 --> 00:11:07,034 Speaker 1: Yeah, and it's really confusing because of the Black Friday. 234 00:11:07,474 --> 00:11:10,674 Speaker 1: The origins of this will make it even more confusing. Basically, 235 00:11:10,754 --> 00:11:13,914 Speaker 1: around the nineteen eighties in the US, Black Friday emerged 236 00:11:14,034 --> 00:11:16,674 Speaker 1: as the biggest shopping day of the year, and there's 237 00:11:16,674 --> 00:11:18,834 Speaker 1: always a particular date that it's on, and that date 238 00:11:18,954 --> 00:11:22,514 Speaker 1: is the day after Thanksgiving, and Thanksgiving is the fourth 239 00:11:22,634 --> 00:11:26,634 Speaker 1: Thursday in November. Now, the reason why that's such a 240 00:11:26,674 --> 00:11:28,714 Speaker 1: big deal to hold on to in the context of 241 00:11:28,714 --> 00:11:32,434 Speaker 1: this conversation is because there's a sort of unspoken rule 242 00:11:32,474 --> 00:11:35,954 Speaker 1: in the US that you do not think or talk 243 00:11:35,994 --> 00:11:39,394 Speaker 1: about Christmas until after Thanksgiving. I like that, and so 244 00:11:39,594 --> 00:11:43,274 Speaker 1: as soon as Thanksgivings over, then you start thinking about Christmas. 245 00:11:43,394 --> 00:11:45,834 Speaker 1: Then you hit the sales. But the problem with this 246 00:11:45,874 --> 00:11:49,034 Speaker 1: Black Friday creep is that even in Australia, no one 247 00:11:49,154 --> 00:11:50,794 Speaker 1: is thinking about Christmas yet. 248 00:11:50,874 --> 00:11:52,634 Speaker 2: I have bad news feel on that front, a Melia, 249 00:11:52,674 --> 00:11:55,194 Speaker 2: because every shop I've been into in the past two 250 00:11:55,234 --> 00:11:58,514 Speaker 2: weeks has all their decorations up. My Walley's bag already 251 00:11:58,514 --> 00:12:00,874 Speaker 2: has ballbles on it. There's a massive Christmas tree in 252 00:12:00,874 --> 00:12:04,234 Speaker 2: the middle of Sydney. We've already started Christmas on the record. 253 00:12:04,274 --> 00:12:06,794 Speaker 2: Last year, I got a lot of a lot of 254 00:12:06,794 --> 00:12:10,834 Speaker 2: feed back for my grinchy complaints about Christmas starting too early. 255 00:12:10,874 --> 00:12:14,034 Speaker 2: So I'm not going to do that this year, but noted. 256 00:12:14,394 --> 00:12:16,874 Speaker 2: But I feel like that's part of the problem. Because 257 00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:21,114 Speaker 2: we brought Christmas forward to November one, we have to 258 00:12:21,154 --> 00:12:21,874 Speaker 2: bring shopping. 259 00:12:21,914 --> 00:12:23,834 Speaker 1: We have brought it to November the first. And you 260 00:12:23,874 --> 00:12:27,114 Speaker 1: know how, I know that even in the US Mariah Carey, 261 00:12:27,674 --> 00:12:30,514 Speaker 1: whose song All I Want for Christmas Is You is 262 00:12:30,554 --> 00:12:32,194 Speaker 1: one of the most played songs of all time and 263 00:12:32,234 --> 00:12:34,314 Speaker 1: every year she makes something like ten million dollars off 264 00:12:34,354 --> 00:12:37,714 Speaker 1: the royalties of that one song alone. Now people start 265 00:12:37,794 --> 00:12:40,154 Speaker 1: to say that it's all I want for Christmas season, 266 00:12:40,314 --> 00:12:42,554 Speaker 1: and she's been releasing a video the last few years 267 00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:45,674 Speaker 1: declaring that it is the Christmas season, and this year 268 00:12:46,074 --> 00:12:48,514 Speaker 1: the video hit earlier than ever before. It hit on 269 00:12:48,554 --> 00:12:52,714 Speaker 1: November the first, and speaking to the capitalistic times that 270 00:12:52,754 --> 00:12:54,914 Speaker 1: we live in. It was also a tie in with 271 00:12:54,994 --> 00:12:57,794 Speaker 1: Sephora for a sale that they were having, which was 272 00:12:58,074 --> 00:13:00,434 Speaker 1: a pre Black Friday's sale, a. 273 00:13:00,314 --> 00:13:04,474 Speaker 3: Pre click frenzy. This is my question, John, say, click friendly, 274 00:13:04,714 --> 00:13:10,714 Speaker 3: you're buying into the hype? Am I being frenzy? I 275 00:13:10,914 --> 00:13:14,034 Speaker 3: hate the word? Am I being a grinch? Or maybe 276 00:13:14,354 --> 00:13:16,834 Speaker 3: is this a cost of a living story? Like are 277 00:13:16,914 --> 00:13:20,994 Speaker 3: we so pinched? I think finger wagging too much at 278 00:13:20,994 --> 00:13:24,514 Speaker 3: people who go hard at Black Friday sales is really 279 00:13:24,554 --> 00:13:27,474 Speaker 3: annoying because often there is there are some people who 280 00:13:27,514 --> 00:13:29,434 Speaker 3: are so organized, they've got their Christmas lists, they can 281 00:13:29,474 --> 00:13:32,714 Speaker 3: get good deals like go ahead. But is that what 282 00:13:32,794 --> 00:13:34,754 Speaker 3: this season is about? Is that they know that people 283 00:13:34,794 --> 00:13:38,074 Speaker 3: are trying to be more organized and more intentional or 284 00:13:38,554 --> 00:13:43,434 Speaker 3: is it about over consumerism, marketing spin? This is all terrible, Holly, 285 00:13:43,514 --> 00:13:44,034 Speaker 3: what do you think? 286 00:13:44,394 --> 00:13:47,834 Speaker 2: Well, the serious answer is it's about trying to prop 287 00:13:47,914 --> 00:13:50,994 Speaker 2: up flagging retail sales. Right, So if you talk to 288 00:13:51,034 --> 00:13:52,914 Speaker 2: any business owner. They will tell you that in the 289 00:13:52,954 --> 00:13:56,954 Speaker 2: past couple of years, Christmas is quiet. This is the 290 00:13:56,994 --> 00:14:00,074 Speaker 2: time of year that is crazy. So end of November, 291 00:14:00,074 --> 00:14:02,874 Speaker 2: if you're like a jewelry business online, if you're a lady, 292 00:14:02,954 --> 00:14:06,994 Speaker 2: start at whatever. Lee Campbell says this about Brillow Beauty's 293 00:14:07,194 --> 00:14:10,754 Speaker 2: shifted to now crazy crazy crazy. And then actually, the 294 00:14:10,794 --> 00:14:13,314 Speaker 2: few weeks before Christmas are quiet. 295 00:14:13,794 --> 00:14:17,234 Speaker 3: So we sorry, are we doing our Christmas shopping right now? 296 00:14:17,354 --> 00:14:17,554 Speaker 1: Well? 297 00:14:17,674 --> 00:14:21,194 Speaker 2: I'm not because I'm a deeply disorganized person. 298 00:14:21,634 --> 00:14:24,154 Speaker 1: But Holly, do you think no? Of course not. You 299 00:14:24,194 --> 00:14:27,434 Speaker 1: think that that is because people are buying stuff online 300 00:14:27,474 --> 00:14:29,554 Speaker 1: these days more than in shops, and so they have 301 00:14:29,634 --> 00:14:30,954 Speaker 1: to build in the shipping time. 302 00:14:31,114 --> 00:14:33,794 Speaker 2: Is that why I reckon? That's a large part of it. 303 00:14:33,834 --> 00:14:36,034 Speaker 2: Although I have heard recently the bricks and mortars on 304 00:14:36,074 --> 00:14:37,994 Speaker 2: its way back in a big way. But if you 305 00:14:38,194 --> 00:14:41,514 Speaker 2: imagine that younger generations in particular do most of their 306 00:14:41,554 --> 00:14:45,194 Speaker 2: shopping online, it's like, get them to start thinking about 307 00:14:45,194 --> 00:14:47,714 Speaker 2: that early, to spread it across time. Now, the thing 308 00:14:47,754 --> 00:14:51,154 Speaker 2: that's tricky is so I feel personally attacked by this 309 00:14:51,194 --> 00:14:53,154 Speaker 2: because I have no idea what to buy anyone for Christmas. 310 00:14:53,194 --> 00:14:57,794 Speaker 2: In November. But this behavior is teaching me, it's training 311 00:14:57,834 --> 00:15:01,634 Speaker 2: me and changing my behavior. In research for this segment today, 312 00:15:02,034 --> 00:15:04,554 Speaker 2: I tick something off my Christmas list because any parent 313 00:15:04,594 --> 00:15:07,314 Speaker 2: of teenager will be familiar with the PowerPoint presentation that 314 00:15:07,354 --> 00:15:09,474 Speaker 2: you would get given that says these are the things 315 00:15:09,514 --> 00:15:12,474 Speaker 2: I would like for Christmas. Please. It always comes with 316 00:15:12,514 --> 00:15:15,754 Speaker 2: the caveat of I don't expect to get them all, 317 00:15:16,154 --> 00:15:19,674 Speaker 2: but here are twenty five expensive things I'd like with links. 318 00:15:19,994 --> 00:15:22,994 Speaker 2: And my daughter started making that one and keeps texting 319 00:15:23,034 --> 00:15:25,514 Speaker 2: me the things. And when I was doing my research 320 00:15:25,594 --> 00:15:28,314 Speaker 2: on Black Friday, I was like, oh, those ogs, they 321 00:15:28,354 --> 00:15:29,834 Speaker 2: are thirty percent off. 322 00:15:30,434 --> 00:15:31,514 Speaker 3: Fantastic done. 323 00:15:31,634 --> 00:15:34,474 Speaker 2: So it's training me, it's changing my behavior. What are 324 00:15:34,514 --> 00:15:36,234 Speaker 2: the bad things you're going to say about this? That's 325 00:15:36,314 --> 00:15:37,314 Speaker 2: just made my life better? 326 00:15:37,434 --> 00:15:40,314 Speaker 3: Okay, the bad things will be that a study came 327 00:15:40,354 --> 00:15:42,354 Speaker 3: out in the last few years that said eighty percent 328 00:15:42,394 --> 00:15:45,354 Speaker 3: of what people buy Black Friday sales is going to 329 00:15:45,354 --> 00:15:49,074 Speaker 3: go into after zero or one use is going to 330 00:15:49,074 --> 00:15:50,354 Speaker 3: go into some sort of landfill. 331 00:15:50,434 --> 00:15:50,634 Speaker 1: Yeah. 332 00:15:50,994 --> 00:15:53,914 Speaker 3: I've been on my goal this year of not buying 333 00:15:53,954 --> 00:15:56,874 Speaker 3: anything new. I must say I have broken that roll 334 00:15:56,914 --> 00:15:58,994 Speaker 3: a few times. Every time I'm in Westfield I just 335 00:15:59,114 --> 00:16:01,394 Speaker 3: know that there's an out louder I'm tutting, and I'm like, 336 00:16:01,594 --> 00:16:03,354 Speaker 3: no fair, I need some shame. 337 00:16:03,994 --> 00:16:05,354 Speaker 2: No, you are pragnant with twigs. 338 00:16:05,434 --> 00:16:08,754 Speaker 3: It's exactly and like it just is hard. But I 339 00:16:08,874 --> 00:16:13,314 Speaker 3: now can't buy things without seeing the beaches of Ghana, 340 00:16:13,394 --> 00:16:17,714 Speaker 3: where like all the kind of western mess and over 341 00:16:17,754 --> 00:16:21,074 Speaker 3: consumption ends up in landfill. Like that just kind of 342 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:24,434 Speaker 3: makes me sick. But at the same time, I can 343 00:16:24,474 --> 00:16:29,474 Speaker 3: appreciate that for people who were more organized, these kind 344 00:16:29,474 --> 00:16:32,794 Speaker 3: of sales actually are really helpful. How about your man? 345 00:16:32,874 --> 00:16:35,474 Speaker 1: But they also make us feel bad. Like I saw 346 00:16:35,834 --> 00:16:40,474 Speaker 1: an actual example of an Australian brand sending an email 347 00:16:40,594 --> 00:16:42,874 Speaker 1: out this week that said that they were having their 348 00:16:42,914 --> 00:16:45,954 Speaker 1: Black Friday sale two weeks early. It was on a 349 00:16:45,954 --> 00:16:49,274 Speaker 1: particular day this week. It started at seven am and 350 00:16:49,314 --> 00:16:53,074 Speaker 1: it was thirty percent off sightwide from seven to seven 351 00:16:53,154 --> 00:16:53,874 Speaker 1: thirty am. 352 00:16:53,914 --> 00:16:56,114 Speaker 3: Now that is just ridiculous, and that's you know, it 353 00:16:56,154 --> 00:16:59,874 Speaker 3: is encouraging me to rush and make an impulse, urgent decision, 354 00:16:59,994 --> 00:17:01,954 Speaker 3: which is when we waste as well. 355 00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:04,914 Speaker 1: And that's why I guess I hadn't thought about this before, 356 00:17:04,914 --> 00:17:07,634 Speaker 1: but that's probably why your stat that so many of 357 00:17:07,634 --> 00:17:10,994 Speaker 1: these Black Friday purchases end up in landfill. That's why, 358 00:17:11,154 --> 00:17:14,754 Speaker 1: because we're making them under these incredibly stressful conditions. But 359 00:17:14,834 --> 00:17:16,674 Speaker 1: I want to be clear that my issue here is 360 00:17:16,754 --> 00:17:19,714 Speaker 1: not with the people who take advantage of them. These 361 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:23,234 Speaker 1: people are amazing people. They are better than everyone at 362 00:17:23,234 --> 00:17:27,074 Speaker 1: this table, and it's because they're just more organized than us. 363 00:17:27,194 --> 00:17:29,474 Speaker 1: And it got me thinking about how there really are 364 00:17:29,514 --> 00:17:31,354 Speaker 1: two types of people in this world. There are the 365 00:17:31,394 --> 00:17:34,434 Speaker 1: people who refuse to pay full price for things, and 366 00:17:34,474 --> 00:17:37,394 Speaker 1: there are the people who know no other way. And 367 00:17:37,874 --> 00:17:40,314 Speaker 1: I think I'm very much in that camp as thinking 368 00:17:40,354 --> 00:17:43,273 Speaker 1: that there's all these sorts of hallmarks of how you 369 00:17:43,434 --> 00:17:46,234 Speaker 1: know if you're the person in that first camp, how 370 00:17:46,274 --> 00:17:48,234 Speaker 1: you know that you're a super organized person. And the 371 00:17:48,274 --> 00:17:49,834 Speaker 1: first one that came to mind, and we were talking 372 00:17:49,874 --> 00:17:52,833 Speaker 1: about this before, was this that person always has a 373 00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:55,834 Speaker 1: cupboard in their house full of presents that they had 374 00:17:55,874 --> 00:17:58,714 Speaker 1: just accumulated throughout the year. They're not going on a 375 00:17:58,754 --> 00:18:01,914 Speaker 1: scramble before a birthday party. They've got some lovely candles 376 00:18:01,914 --> 00:18:03,514 Speaker 1: to give us hostesk gifts. 377 00:18:03,274 --> 00:18:05,674 Speaker 3: Yep, they've got some arm oil, they have blank cards, 378 00:18:05,674 --> 00:18:07,314 Speaker 3: they don't have to rush to bully. 379 00:18:07,234 --> 00:18:10,234 Speaker 1: And stamps for them too, because they still send thank 380 00:18:10,274 --> 00:18:11,634 Speaker 1: you cards by mail. 381 00:18:11,914 --> 00:18:12,514 Speaker 2: That is so. 382 00:18:12,834 --> 00:18:15,154 Speaker 1: Here are some other signs, would you like to hear them? 383 00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:17,194 Speaker 1: Some other signs that you're the sort of person who 384 00:18:17,314 --> 00:18:19,714 Speaker 1: uses the Black Friday sales for good. You wash your 385 00:18:19,714 --> 00:18:22,914 Speaker 1: bras regularly and with a bougie detergent on Sundays. 386 00:18:23,154 --> 00:18:25,914 Speaker 3: Yes, and you have one of those special bags, you know, 387 00:18:25,994 --> 00:18:28,794 Speaker 3: those ones that you put fancy lingerie. 388 00:18:28,834 --> 00:18:33,634 Speaker 1: And when was the last time I washed my bra 389 00:18:33,954 --> 00:18:37,994 Speaker 1: don't come too close. You have a shared family notes 390 00:18:37,994 --> 00:18:40,474 Speaker 1: at doc where you list errands and then check them 391 00:18:40,474 --> 00:18:42,874 Speaker 1: off on them, as opposed to waking up in the 392 00:18:42,874 --> 00:18:44,674 Speaker 1: middle of the night realizing that you never signed up 393 00:18:44,674 --> 00:18:46,114 Speaker 1: for that thing that you were meant to sign up for. 394 00:18:47,514 --> 00:18:49,434 Speaker 1: Here's one. You never eat in your car. 395 00:18:51,354 --> 00:18:52,273 Speaker 2: Most of my meals and. 396 00:18:54,234 --> 00:18:55,354 Speaker 3: They're on my steering wheel. 397 00:18:55,354 --> 00:18:57,594 Speaker 1: Oh my god. You are never without your keep cup. 398 00:18:58,634 --> 00:19:01,793 Speaker 1: Now I work with you both. I know that I used. 399 00:19:01,674 --> 00:19:03,554 Speaker 2: To have a keep cup, but I lost the lid. 400 00:19:03,634 --> 00:19:05,394 Speaker 2: And then it's like that, and I bet that this 401 00:19:05,434 --> 00:19:06,674 Speaker 2: person never loses the lid. 402 00:19:07,194 --> 00:19:09,074 Speaker 3: You kept getting shamed because you were handing them a 403 00:19:09,114 --> 00:19:10,273 Speaker 3: dirty It's true. 404 00:19:10,514 --> 00:19:12,634 Speaker 1: I got two more quickly. You own a shoe tree. 405 00:19:13,434 --> 00:19:13,793 Speaker 2: Yes. 406 00:19:13,994 --> 00:19:16,553 Speaker 1: And finally, your toilet rues bag is the kind that 407 00:19:16,594 --> 00:19:19,754 Speaker 1: you hang on a hook over the door and unfolds 408 00:19:19,994 --> 00:19:22,514 Speaker 1: so you see everything in it, as opposed to having 409 00:19:22,514 --> 00:19:24,353 Speaker 1: that freebie that you got a department store in two 410 00:19:24,354 --> 00:19:24,954 Speaker 1: thousand and night. 411 00:19:25,034 --> 00:19:27,273 Speaker 3: That's so true, rather than going to a hotel and 412 00:19:27,314 --> 00:19:29,314 Speaker 3: for some reason everything is on the floor. 413 00:19:29,394 --> 00:19:32,354 Speaker 1: Look, we salute you people who do these things, and 414 00:19:32,474 --> 00:19:34,514 Speaker 1: we wish you the best of like navigating the Black 415 00:19:34,514 --> 00:19:35,554 Speaker 1: Friday sales. 416 00:19:35,274 --> 00:19:38,114 Speaker 3: But the three of us I feel December two, we're 417 00:19:38,154 --> 00:19:40,513 Speaker 3: going to go. It's time to really take advantage of 418 00:19:40,514 --> 00:19:42,834 Speaker 3: those sales and it's going to be like guys, every 419 00:19:42,874 --> 00:19:47,474 Speaker 3: sale they can't. 420 00:19:47,274 --> 00:19:51,554 Speaker 2: Take the festive stress of shopping on December third. Christmas 421 00:19:51,954 --> 00:19:54,273 Speaker 2: is one of my things I've done all my life. 422 00:19:54,274 --> 00:19:58,794 Speaker 2: And the heart rate, the caffeine intake, the swearing, the 423 00:19:58,834 --> 00:20:00,874 Speaker 2: car park range, like you can't take. 424 00:20:00,674 --> 00:20:02,994 Speaker 3: That Christmas and the debt. 425 00:20:04,714 --> 00:20:07,793 Speaker 2: After the break. What's a grief vampire? Is there a 426 00:20:07,874 --> 00:20:16,874 Speaker 2: chance that they're actually doing good? Doesn't sound likely if 427 00:20:16,914 --> 00:20:20,234 Speaker 2: you haven't noticed Princess Ann on tour because Oasis had 428 00:20:20,274 --> 00:20:21,114 Speaker 2: better bucket hats. 429 00:20:21,194 --> 00:20:25,234 Speaker 3: Let's be honest, did you see the headline that Oasis 430 00:20:25,274 --> 00:20:28,954 Speaker 3: stayed at Sam Wood's holiday house. Oh yes, I did 431 00:20:29,034 --> 00:20:32,033 Speaker 3: on the morning simple then I really enjoyed that. 432 00:20:32,074 --> 00:20:36,834 Speaker 2: And he said the recycling bins were full. I'm like, 433 00:20:37,034 --> 00:20:38,154 Speaker 2: I am not surprised. 434 00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,554 Speaker 3: Why have I retained that information? 435 00:20:39,754 --> 00:20:42,994 Speaker 2: Bless them? Anyway, if you haven't noticed the Princess ends 436 00:20:42,994 --> 00:20:46,273 Speaker 2: on tour, you might not know that there's also another 437 00:20:46,274 --> 00:20:48,714 Speaker 2: tour going on that's attracting lots of eye rolls and 438 00:20:48,794 --> 00:20:54,074 Speaker 2: big crowds. Probably the world's most famous medium one, John Edward, 439 00:20:54,314 --> 00:20:57,834 Speaker 2: is in Australia at the moment. He's doing thirteen shows 440 00:20:57,874 --> 00:21:00,074 Speaker 2: in most capital cities over the next few weeks, and 441 00:21:00,154 --> 00:21:02,354 Speaker 2: lots of the events have sold out. Now, Jesse, I 442 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:04,474 Speaker 2: know you have been to a John Edwood show before. 443 00:21:05,194 --> 00:21:06,674 Speaker 2: What happens there? What's it like? 444 00:21:07,194 --> 00:21:11,154 Speaker 3: I went to one in twenty nineteen at the State Theater. 445 00:21:11,314 --> 00:21:12,954 Speaker 3: Why do you go for a work thing? 446 00:21:13,114 --> 00:21:13,234 Speaker 1: Like? 447 00:21:13,274 --> 00:21:16,313 Speaker 3: We got work passes Claire and I for story and 448 00:21:16,354 --> 00:21:18,154 Speaker 3: we went, this is going to be really interesting, let's 449 00:21:18,154 --> 00:21:21,354 Speaker 3: recap it. So State Theater I think has two thousand seats. 450 00:21:21,394 --> 00:21:25,553 Speaker 3: There's a lot of people there and we were skeptical, 451 00:21:25,594 --> 00:21:28,434 Speaker 3: cynical all of the things, and the first half of 452 00:21:28,474 --> 00:21:31,513 Speaker 3: it proved that cynicism to be fair. So it was like, 453 00:21:32,514 --> 00:21:36,674 Speaker 3: over here, I'm getting a chipped bone? Is there a 454 00:21:36,754 --> 00:21:40,033 Speaker 3: chipped bone? I'm getting the letter in that was just 455 00:21:40,114 --> 00:21:43,354 Speaker 3: you I'm getting. Yeah, it was a prophecy. It was 456 00:21:43,394 --> 00:21:46,594 Speaker 3: a prophecy there a few years early. But and then 457 00:21:46,634 --> 00:21:50,513 Speaker 3: would hone in on someone and almost get a bit irritated, like, 458 00:21:50,754 --> 00:21:53,314 Speaker 3: come on, do you know someone who died after surgery 459 00:21:53,674 --> 00:21:55,354 Speaker 3: or something? And it's like most of us would know 460 00:21:55,434 --> 00:21:58,314 Speaker 3: someone who died after anyway, also chipped bone. 461 00:21:58,474 --> 00:21:59,594 Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a. 462 00:21:59,554 --> 00:22:01,714 Speaker 3: Really weirdly specific thing. And then there was like this 463 00:22:01,794 --> 00:22:04,234 Speaker 3: irritation and we were going, oh, this is feeling a 464 00:22:04,234 --> 00:22:06,554 Speaker 3: bit awkward. And then it was like the seventh month 465 00:22:06,634 --> 00:22:09,074 Speaker 3: or the seventh of a month mean anything to you. 466 00:22:09,354 --> 00:22:12,354 Speaker 3: And then you start going statistically, come on, it's. 467 00:22:12,274 --> 00:22:13,754 Speaker 1: Five days before quick frenzy. 468 00:22:13,874 --> 00:22:18,554 Speaker 3: Yeah, exactly right, exactly. So it got to that and 469 00:22:18,754 --> 00:22:21,074 Speaker 3: Claire and I went, you know, you could fill the 470 00:22:21,154 --> 00:22:24,313 Speaker 3: room getting a bit lost. The second half had me 471 00:22:24,554 --> 00:22:28,514 Speaker 3: utterly convinced. Oh wow, he absolutely He went to this 472 00:22:29,354 --> 00:22:32,794 Speaker 3: really specific woman and said the Vatican. You went to 473 00:22:32,834 --> 00:22:36,593 Speaker 3: the Vatican. Your father said he heard your prayer and 474 00:22:36,634 --> 00:22:38,434 Speaker 3: I was like, come on, how the hell would and 475 00:22:38,594 --> 00:22:41,074 Speaker 3: this woman just burst out to tears and went, I 476 00:22:41,114 --> 00:22:42,954 Speaker 3: said a prayer and then and then he said, and 477 00:22:43,114 --> 00:22:46,594 Speaker 3: his slippers. You found his slippers, and she had found 478 00:22:46,594 --> 00:22:48,794 Speaker 3: his slippers that morning. And then he said, there's an 479 00:22:48,954 --> 00:22:51,434 Speaker 3: Eric who has a wedding ring. You need to get 480 00:22:51,434 --> 00:22:53,994 Speaker 3: that wedding ring back. And Eric hard the ex fiancee, 481 00:22:54,114 --> 00:22:58,114 Speaker 3: still had the wedding ring, like really specific stuff. He 482 00:22:58,114 --> 00:22:59,914 Speaker 3: got to another woman and said, you're putting off a 483 00:22:59,954 --> 00:23:02,754 Speaker 3: doctor's appointment about your lungs. Why are you doing that? 484 00:23:02,834 --> 00:23:04,594 Speaker 3: You need to go. They're going to give you steroids. 485 00:23:04,954 --> 00:23:07,874 Speaker 3: And that was spot on. So look, do I know 486 00:23:08,434 --> 00:23:13,073 Speaker 3: whether there was some way he had plants in the 487 00:23:13,114 --> 00:23:15,634 Speaker 3: auditorium to kind of get some of that information. I don't. 488 00:23:15,994 --> 00:23:19,234 Speaker 3: But what I did know is that that room walked 489 00:23:19,274 --> 00:23:24,434 Speaker 3: away feeling like they had got something. It was incredibly 490 00:23:24,554 --> 00:23:28,114 Speaker 3: entertaining and for the people who came there bearing their grief, 491 00:23:28,754 --> 00:23:31,154 Speaker 3: there was some resolution for them. That's how I felt. 492 00:23:31,394 --> 00:23:35,154 Speaker 2: Well, not everybody is so stoked about Edward's shows. Right 493 00:23:35,914 --> 00:23:38,754 Speaker 2: in the Sydney Morning, Harold on the Weekend Peter Fitzimon's 494 00:23:38,914 --> 00:23:42,674 Speaker 2: interviewed a woman called Susan Gerbick in an article called 495 00:23:42,954 --> 00:23:46,594 Speaker 2: calling out the Grief Vampires. How John Edward and other 496 00:23:46,674 --> 00:23:51,194 Speaker 2: psychic mediums apply their a moral trade. Gerbik is described 497 00:23:51,234 --> 00:23:53,994 Speaker 2: as a leading American skeptic. Right, and she makes it 498 00:23:54,034 --> 00:23:57,593 Speaker 2: her business to go Your mom and me are out 499 00:23:57,674 --> 00:24:01,714 Speaker 2: loud to leading American skeptic. She makes it her business 500 00:24:01,714 --> 00:24:05,194 Speaker 2: to go around like unmasking people that she considers are 501 00:24:05,274 --> 00:24:08,994 Speaker 2: exploiting the grieving, milking their misery for money. She doesn't 502 00:24:08,994 --> 00:24:10,793 Speaker 2: mince her words about how she feels about them. This 503 00:24:10,874 --> 00:24:14,834 Speaker 2: is one of the quotes. They have no conscience, they're sociopaths. 504 00:24:15,114 --> 00:24:18,073 Speaker 2: They just don't care. They're just looking for grief. They 505 00:24:18,114 --> 00:24:21,634 Speaker 2: can capitalize on by doing tricks that convince paying customers. 506 00:24:21,954 --> 00:24:26,074 Speaker 2: They really are talking to the spirit world. So she 507 00:24:26,274 --> 00:24:29,674 Speaker 2: says that she has exposed certain psychics, and not necessarily 508 00:24:29,714 --> 00:24:32,154 Speaker 2: John Edward for legal reasons. Let's get it out there, 509 00:24:32,194 --> 00:24:33,994 Speaker 2: because he's a medium. He can hear me. He knows 510 00:24:33,994 --> 00:24:37,793 Speaker 2: I'm talking about him, not necessarily Edward. But she says 511 00:24:38,194 --> 00:24:42,274 Speaker 2: that she has unmasked mediums and psychics doing these things 512 00:24:42,314 --> 00:24:45,514 Speaker 2: called cold reads and hot reads. Right, and she says 513 00:24:45,514 --> 00:24:48,674 Speaker 2: a cold read is which something that we might expect 514 00:24:48,674 --> 00:24:50,634 Speaker 2: if you were doing like a one on one, she says, 515 00:24:50,674 --> 00:24:52,994 Speaker 2: You assess someone on how they look, how they sound, 516 00:24:53,074 --> 00:24:56,114 Speaker 2: and what they say. You make observations and assumptions about them, 517 00:24:56,114 --> 00:24:58,154 Speaker 2: and then you throw out baked so a bit like 518 00:24:58,554 --> 00:25:01,793 Speaker 2: exactly what you were saying, so like someone beginning with 519 00:25:01,914 --> 00:25:05,513 Speaker 2: them the seventh chipped bone, Yeah, that kind of stuff, 520 00:25:05,834 --> 00:25:07,714 Speaker 2: and then you begin to reel the me because in 521 00:25:07,834 --> 00:25:10,154 Speaker 2: the big audience you see who reacts to that, and 522 00:25:10,194 --> 00:25:13,074 Speaker 2: then you go okay, and then you drill in on there, 523 00:25:13,114 --> 00:25:15,313 Speaker 2: and if you know the right questions to ask, you 524 00:25:15,354 --> 00:25:17,794 Speaker 2: can probably draw out a bit of a story, she says. 525 00:25:17,794 --> 00:25:20,754 Speaker 2: That's generally in the business called a cold read. A 526 00:25:20,754 --> 00:25:23,114 Speaker 2: hot read, she says, which happens less often and is 527 00:25:23,114 --> 00:25:25,794 Speaker 2: obviously more deceitful. She says that you and your staff 528 00:25:26,074 --> 00:25:28,154 Speaker 2: would go through the names of people who are coming 529 00:25:28,194 --> 00:25:31,754 Speaker 2: to a certain audience and go and literally research them. 530 00:25:31,834 --> 00:25:34,273 Speaker 1: And also she's spoken in the past about what she 531 00:25:34,434 --> 00:25:38,714 Speaker 1: believes is the practice of these famous mediums, which is 532 00:25:38,754 --> 00:25:42,154 Speaker 1: that they do plant people in the lobby before the 533 00:25:42,234 --> 00:25:46,354 Speaker 1: show or at halftime at the show. And the example 534 00:25:46,354 --> 00:25:49,914 Speaker 1: here would be perhaps the reason why he knew to 535 00:25:49,954 --> 00:25:51,914 Speaker 1: say to that woman she needs to go to the 536 00:25:51,954 --> 00:25:55,994 Speaker 1: doctor for her lungs. Is maybe she was smoking outside 537 00:25:55,994 --> 00:25:59,033 Speaker 1: before the show? Ah, maybe maybe. 538 00:25:59,034 --> 00:26:02,513 Speaker 2: And she says when she's done stings to expose people, 539 00:26:02,754 --> 00:26:06,354 Speaker 2: she's planted stories. So like herself, she's planted stories and 540 00:26:06,354 --> 00:26:08,234 Speaker 2: then see if they can come up through the psychic 541 00:26:08,354 --> 00:26:11,354 Speaker 2: and they have. So she says that that happens a lot. 542 00:26:12,114 --> 00:26:14,394 Speaker 2: One of the things that's interesting about this, of course, 543 00:26:14,434 --> 00:26:16,434 Speaker 2: is that so this article was very much like these 544 00:26:16,434 --> 00:26:18,874 Speaker 2: are the worst people in the world. I mean, I'm exaggerating. 545 00:26:18,994 --> 00:26:20,874 Speaker 3: She used the word sociopath. 546 00:26:20,354 --> 00:26:23,434 Speaker 2: She did, And there's lots of talk of them being exploitative. 547 00:26:23,754 --> 00:26:27,074 Speaker 2: And she also just says to the argument that would 548 00:26:27,074 --> 00:26:28,914 Speaker 2: come back that it was like, does it really matter 549 00:26:28,994 --> 00:26:31,594 Speaker 2: if it's true or not? If it's comforting, she'd say, well, 550 00:26:31,634 --> 00:26:34,394 Speaker 2: this is basically the question, is it okay to lie 551 00:26:34,514 --> 00:26:37,194 Speaker 2: to make money out of people? What do we think 552 00:26:37,274 --> 00:26:39,954 Speaker 2: about this? I know that Amelia, when we did our 553 00:26:40,034 --> 00:26:43,794 Speaker 2: tarot session a while ago, you were the most skeptical 554 00:26:43,834 --> 00:26:47,954 Speaker 2: amongst us about the whole process. It made you quite uncomfortable. 555 00:26:47,994 --> 00:26:50,513 Speaker 2: Do you share that feeling with these guys? 556 00:26:50,634 --> 00:26:54,033 Speaker 1: No, you know, I actually wasn't skeptical. I would characterize 557 00:26:54,074 --> 00:26:56,474 Speaker 1: you as skeptical of the process. I was scared of 558 00:26:56,514 --> 00:26:57,954 Speaker 1: the process. 559 00:26:57,394 --> 00:26:58,154 Speaker 2: Right, That's true. 560 00:26:58,194 --> 00:27:01,674 Speaker 1: And what that meant was I don't actually identify myself 561 00:27:01,674 --> 00:27:04,234 Speaker 1: as a skeptic on this stuff because I just don't know. 562 00:27:04,794 --> 00:27:07,754 Speaker 1: But what it does make me feel is scared. And 563 00:27:07,794 --> 00:27:10,954 Speaker 1: the reason is with the terror was because I felt 564 00:27:10,954 --> 00:27:14,714 Speaker 1: like people often describe a terror reading as like seeing 565 00:27:14,714 --> 00:27:17,874 Speaker 1: a therapist, and my response to that is always like, well, 566 00:27:17,874 --> 00:27:20,354 Speaker 1: I'd prefer to see a therapist because I don't want 567 00:27:20,394 --> 00:27:25,074 Speaker 1: people who don't necessarily bring any expertise rifling through my brain, 568 00:27:25,194 --> 00:27:27,754 Speaker 1: planting stuff there that could psych me out, or that 569 00:27:27,834 --> 00:27:30,234 Speaker 1: could send me down a path that may or may 570 00:27:30,274 --> 00:27:33,274 Speaker 1: not have any bearing on what ends up happening. That's 571 00:27:33,274 --> 00:27:34,674 Speaker 1: why I feel scared about it. 572 00:27:36,314 --> 00:27:37,834 Speaker 2: How do you feel about these guys? 573 00:27:38,314 --> 00:27:40,514 Speaker 1: Well, I didn't know a lot about this guy. Interestingly, 574 00:27:40,554 --> 00:27:43,273 Speaker 1: when I was researching John Edward, I discovered that he 575 00:27:43,474 --> 00:27:46,313 Speaker 1: is unusually popular in Australia. You know how there are 576 00:27:46,354 --> 00:27:50,994 Speaker 1: certain celebrities like Pink psych. He's the Pink of the 577 00:27:50,994 --> 00:27:54,194 Speaker 1: psychic world. He comes to Australia more than any other country. 578 00:27:54,634 --> 00:27:58,114 Speaker 1: And I came across this very telling little incident that 579 00:27:58,274 --> 00:28:01,994 Speaker 1: happened on the project when he was here last in June, 580 00:28:02,114 --> 00:28:04,273 Speaker 1: and I want to play it for you because I 581 00:28:04,314 --> 00:28:06,474 Speaker 1: think it reveals a lot about how he works. 582 00:28:06,514 --> 00:28:08,754 Speaker 2: Let's have a less then, are you feeling anything from 583 00:28:09,194 --> 00:28:10,594 Speaker 2: anyone at the desk right now? 584 00:28:11,154 --> 00:28:11,874 Speaker 1: Not at the moment. 585 00:28:12,514 --> 00:28:18,234 Speaker 2: Not at the moment, I mean I could have done that. Yeah, 586 00:28:18,794 --> 00:28:21,394 Speaker 2: as we continue to ask questions things just I'll tell 587 00:28:21,394 --> 00:28:22,273 Speaker 2: you why, Because. 588 00:28:21,994 --> 00:28:23,834 Speaker 1: If I wind up reading for a host of a 589 00:28:23,874 --> 00:28:25,954 Speaker 1: show and I get something that's private and personal, that 590 00:28:26,274 --> 00:28:29,354 Speaker 1: is not this is not taped, it's live, and it's 591 00:28:29,394 --> 00:28:32,754 Speaker 1: not something that somebody wants to discuss publicly. Yeah, you're 592 00:28:32,754 --> 00:28:35,914 Speaker 1: going to say no. So I've had that experience. 593 00:28:36,834 --> 00:28:38,994 Speaker 2: Yeah on radio you can't handle the truth. 594 00:28:39,074 --> 00:28:41,274 Speaker 1: Yeah. But it's a little bit convenient, isn't it that 595 00:28:41,314 --> 00:28:44,154 Speaker 1: the one place where he won't do a read is 596 00:28:44,194 --> 00:28:47,274 Speaker 1: on live television with journalists who might push back. Jesse. 597 00:28:47,914 --> 00:28:50,474 Speaker 3: Yeah, I totally see your point. And the cold read 598 00:28:50,514 --> 00:28:53,794 Speaker 3: hot read thing I think is really interesting and I 599 00:28:53,874 --> 00:28:57,194 Speaker 3: always think the world needs both. And I really respected 600 00:28:57,234 --> 00:29:00,994 Speaker 3: the position of fit Simon's and the expert who's dedicated 601 00:29:00,994 --> 00:29:03,554 Speaker 3: our life to going can we please have some rigor 602 00:29:03,594 --> 00:29:06,114 Speaker 3: and research involved in this stuff before we hand over 603 00:29:06,154 --> 00:29:11,554 Speaker 3: our money. However, when something offers a balm for someone's grief, 604 00:29:12,474 --> 00:29:15,074 Speaker 3: and if John Edward and he has said this, my 605 00:29:15,834 --> 00:29:19,674 Speaker 3: job is to make people leave feeling better, it's basically 606 00:29:19,914 --> 00:29:22,434 Speaker 3: do no harm. I don't want to do harm for people. 607 00:29:23,154 --> 00:29:25,834 Speaker 3: And in that article they talked about lies. And I 608 00:29:25,874 --> 00:29:28,594 Speaker 3: find the use of the word lie really interesting because 609 00:29:29,074 --> 00:29:32,314 Speaker 3: do I think John Edward believes what he's doing. I 610 00:29:32,434 --> 00:29:35,714 Speaker 3: don't know. I don't know, but I'm not completely convinced 611 00:29:36,354 --> 00:29:39,354 Speaker 3: that he is a fraud star or a con man 612 00:29:39,434 --> 00:29:44,434 Speaker 3: who gets up and intentionally manipulates people. When I've listened 613 00:29:44,434 --> 00:29:47,714 Speaker 3: to interviews with him, I think he believes what he 614 00:29:47,914 --> 00:29:51,394 Speaker 3: is doing. And there are a lot of things in 615 00:29:51,434 --> 00:29:54,994 Speaker 3: some instances, for example, fertility, I know people who claim 616 00:29:54,994 --> 00:29:58,834 Speaker 3: to be fertility experts that have no expertise, no degrees, 617 00:29:58,994 --> 00:30:03,154 Speaker 3: no research that triggers me like I find it so 618 00:30:03,234 --> 00:30:06,954 Speaker 3: irresponsible and so harmful, and they're giving people advice and whatever. 619 00:30:07,914 --> 00:30:10,554 Speaker 3: But then you know the practice like cupping, where they 620 00:30:10,554 --> 00:30:12,594 Speaker 3: put comes on your back and they did it. A 621 00:30:12,674 --> 00:30:14,914 Speaker 3: research is out on whether or not that's good. I've 622 00:30:14,954 --> 00:30:18,034 Speaker 3: got cupping. I've walked away feeling better acupuncture. Yeah, lots 623 00:30:18,034 --> 00:30:20,794 Speaker 3: of question marks around whether that actually I walk away 624 00:30:20,874 --> 00:30:24,634 Speaker 3: place ebo, eh, I walk away feeling better with this stuff. 625 00:30:25,234 --> 00:30:29,474 Speaker 3: I think grief and death and the afterlife is just 626 00:30:29,514 --> 00:30:34,274 Speaker 3: this massive well of like what balm do people have? 627 00:30:34,394 --> 00:30:38,354 Speaker 3: And if this has them leaving feeling better, I kind 628 00:30:38,394 --> 00:30:39,514 Speaker 3: of think there's space for that. 629 00:30:40,714 --> 00:30:43,154 Speaker 2: Look, I want to agree with you. I've spoken on 630 00:30:43,194 --> 00:30:47,194 Speaker 2: the show before about how Imbrent's family, my partner's family, 631 00:30:47,234 --> 00:30:50,434 Speaker 2: there are psychics, and that my late mother in law 632 00:30:50,714 --> 00:30:54,514 Speaker 2: was a self proclaimed psychic, and I know people who 633 00:30:54,554 --> 00:30:57,274 Speaker 2: she brought so much comfort to with her readings. Now 634 00:30:57,314 --> 00:30:59,914 Speaker 2: I am a skeptic, like I'm born a skeptic, right, 635 00:31:00,434 --> 00:31:02,794 Speaker 2: It's also an area that kind of frightens me, so 636 00:31:02,874 --> 00:31:04,914 Speaker 2: I don't want to go near it. Some people run 637 00:31:04,954 --> 00:31:07,434 Speaker 2: towards that stuff. I'm very much backing out of the 638 00:31:07,474 --> 00:31:09,234 Speaker 2: room going you guys carry on? 639 00:31:09,394 --> 00:31:11,994 Speaker 1: Is that for the same reason that I identify being 640 00:31:12,034 --> 00:31:12,474 Speaker 1: scared of. 641 00:31:12,394 --> 00:31:16,874 Speaker 2: Me plea and I just find it really unnerving. I 642 00:31:16,914 --> 00:31:19,554 Speaker 2: am quite romantic and magical in some way, Like It's 643 00:31:19,594 --> 00:31:22,554 Speaker 2: not that I'm very scientific, fact based in every way, 644 00:31:22,594 --> 00:31:25,794 Speaker 2: but I do find this challenging, and so I probably 645 00:31:25,834 --> 00:31:28,634 Speaker 2: back away from it. But when I began to get 646 00:31:28,714 --> 00:31:31,554 Speaker 2: to know people who lived in this world, basically I 647 00:31:31,634 --> 00:31:35,394 Speaker 2: did really have to reassess my view because I couldn't 648 00:31:35,434 --> 00:31:37,234 Speaker 2: sit there and point at my mother in law, who 649 00:31:37,234 --> 00:31:41,074 Speaker 2: I adored and say you're a liar, like you're you're 650 00:31:41,114 --> 00:31:43,914 Speaker 2: a liar and you're a fraud. On the other hand, 651 00:31:43,994 --> 00:31:49,394 Speaker 2: she was not filling massive theaters and charging large amounts 652 00:31:49,434 --> 00:31:51,674 Speaker 2: of money. You know, she would do a reading for 653 00:31:51,714 --> 00:31:54,034 Speaker 2: someone for free, for a bottle of wine for like, 654 00:31:54,194 --> 00:31:57,994 Speaker 2: you know, she would do it almost as a neighborhood service, 655 00:31:58,034 --> 00:32:00,714 Speaker 2: and whatever the truth of the situation was, very many 656 00:32:00,714 --> 00:32:04,594 Speaker 2: people felt good about what she did. And so, like 657 00:32:04,674 --> 00:32:06,954 Speaker 2: lots of things, I'm not sure how black and white 658 00:32:06,994 --> 00:32:09,154 Speaker 2: it is. When I was doing a bit of digging 659 00:32:09,154 --> 00:32:12,434 Speaker 2: into how many people actually believe this is really interesting 660 00:32:12,474 --> 00:32:15,554 Speaker 2: stat This is an American stat about how many people 661 00:32:15,754 --> 00:32:19,154 Speaker 2: proclaim that they believe in ghosts and the afterlife, and 662 00:32:19,194 --> 00:32:21,754 Speaker 2: it usually sits somewhere around thirty nine to forty one 663 00:32:21,794 --> 00:32:25,034 Speaker 2: percent of people who were like open to that. But 664 00:32:25,234 --> 00:32:28,714 Speaker 2: fifty three percent of Americans say that they've been visited 665 00:32:28,754 --> 00:32:32,314 Speaker 2: by a dead family member. So isn't that weird that 666 00:32:32,394 --> 00:32:36,914 Speaker 2: people actually say they've had lived experience of having contact 667 00:32:36,954 --> 00:32:40,874 Speaker 2: with people they've lost, even if they don't really believe 668 00:32:40,954 --> 00:32:45,274 Speaker 2: it themselves, Because I think that we've all had those 669 00:32:45,354 --> 00:32:49,354 Speaker 2: experiences where, you know, I remember, not long after Julie passed, 670 00:32:49,354 --> 00:32:52,074 Speaker 2: my mother in law, something that she gave me fell 671 00:32:52,114 --> 00:32:53,914 Speaker 2: out of a cupboard onto my head, and I was 672 00:32:54,074 --> 00:32:56,274 Speaker 2: really freaked out because I was thinking about her at 673 00:32:56,274 --> 00:32:58,314 Speaker 2: that moment. I was like, it's a sign, It's a sign, 674 00:32:58,514 --> 00:33:00,714 Speaker 2: you know, maybe it was, maybe it wasn't like, but 675 00:33:01,274 --> 00:33:04,794 Speaker 2: I think that it's interesting that we can feel things 676 00:33:04,834 --> 00:33:07,714 Speaker 2: sometimes that we don't actually believe in. And I think 677 00:33:07,754 --> 00:33:10,594 Speaker 2: a lot of this stuff lives in that area. 678 00:33:10,674 --> 00:33:13,714 Speaker 3: And this is an imperfect comparison. And I don't want 679 00:33:13,714 --> 00:33:16,914 Speaker 3: to offend anyone, but I know people who I'm close 680 00:33:16,954 --> 00:33:21,234 Speaker 3: to who donate significant amounts of money to different churches 681 00:33:21,674 --> 00:33:23,914 Speaker 3: or not even church, different faiths, the faith that they're 682 00:33:23,914 --> 00:33:28,274 Speaker 3: aligned with. I don't necessarily believe in the god that 683 00:33:28,274 --> 00:33:32,754 Speaker 3: they're aligned with. I don't necessarily believe the exact things 684 00:33:32,754 --> 00:33:34,434 Speaker 3: that they believe. Do I think they have the right 685 00:33:34,994 --> 00:33:40,714 Speaker 3: and do I respect their affiliation with that institution. I 686 00:33:40,754 --> 00:33:43,914 Speaker 3: do and if that makes them feel better, and if 687 00:33:43,954 --> 00:33:47,914 Speaker 3: particular stories and maybe I get a little bit funny 688 00:33:47,954 --> 00:33:52,634 Speaker 3: about any sort of patronizing of any set of beliefs 689 00:33:52,674 --> 00:33:59,114 Speaker 3: that you feel are stupid or can't be proven. I 690 00:33:59,194 --> 00:34:01,914 Speaker 3: have a lot of space for people who kind of 691 00:34:02,154 --> 00:34:03,714 Speaker 3: explore those things and find comfort. 692 00:34:03,914 --> 00:34:06,354 Speaker 1: Yeah. I thought it was a really interesting point you made, 693 00:34:06,394 --> 00:34:11,674 Speaker 1: Jersey about what John Edward himself believes. And it's interesting 694 00:34:11,714 --> 00:34:15,873 Speaker 1: that he insists on describing himself as an entertainer, and 695 00:34:15,914 --> 00:34:18,754 Speaker 1: that is indisputable. He is an entertainer. 696 00:34:19,074 --> 00:34:22,433 Speaker 2: Yeah right, And yeah, his show is listed under art 697 00:34:22,514 --> 00:34:25,914 Speaker 2: theater and comedy. Yeah, so it's a performance. 698 00:34:25,274 --> 00:34:27,554 Speaker 3: That's what when we went our first instinct was this 699 00:34:27,594 --> 00:34:30,873 Speaker 3: feels like a comedy show, except without jokes, but more 700 00:34:30,914 --> 00:34:31,434 Speaker 3: dead people. 701 00:34:31,514 --> 00:34:33,994 Speaker 1: But then it does raise the question of stakes, Like 702 00:34:34,114 --> 00:34:37,554 Speaker 1: if he is an entertainer, then we come back to 703 00:34:37,594 --> 00:34:40,754 Speaker 1: that fundamental question of why does it matter? And this 704 00:34:40,834 --> 00:34:43,194 Speaker 1: interview that we kicked off the segment talking about with 705 00:34:43,274 --> 00:34:47,473 Speaker 1: the sort of renowned leading American skeptic, you end up 706 00:34:47,514 --> 00:34:50,474 Speaker 1: feeling a little bit like she's a bit too invested 707 00:34:50,554 --> 00:34:51,194 Speaker 1: in this thing. 708 00:34:51,594 --> 00:34:52,354 Speaker 2: You know, why is she? 709 00:34:52,554 --> 00:34:55,754 Speaker 3: So she's kind of just as dogmatic as he is. 710 00:34:57,594 --> 00:35:00,794 Speaker 3: I want to ask you, Holly, if this is real, 711 00:35:01,194 --> 00:35:04,314 Speaker 3: because is this ghost again? No, it is not ghosts, 712 00:35:04,314 --> 00:35:06,674 Speaker 3: but it's similar. It's when Brits moved to Australia. Oh, 713 00:35:07,154 --> 00:35:11,354 Speaker 3: it's this phenomenon called the Australia Effect. Right the other 714 00:35:11,394 --> 00:35:12,754 Speaker 3: day I came across it and I was like, well, 715 00:35:12,794 --> 00:35:14,714 Speaker 3: I sit in a podcast studio with a lady with 716 00:35:14,754 --> 00:35:16,873 Speaker 3: a British accent. That's you, Holly, A lady with an 717 00:35:16,914 --> 00:35:19,354 Speaker 3: American accent. That's your Amelia. And I thought, if anyone 718 00:35:19,354 --> 00:35:21,234 Speaker 3: can tell me about the Australia Effect, it's you. Two 719 00:35:21,914 --> 00:35:24,994 Speaker 3: came across this TikTok video of a woman explaining what 720 00:35:25,034 --> 00:35:27,154 Speaker 3: the Australia effect is. Here's what she said. 721 00:35:27,274 --> 00:35:29,954 Speaker 1: Has anyone seen the TikTok trends called the Australia Effect. 722 00:35:30,554 --> 00:35:32,914 Speaker 2: So essentially, it's like British girls will. 723 00:35:32,794 --> 00:35:33,834 Speaker 1: Go over to Australia. 724 00:35:33,954 --> 00:35:37,074 Speaker 2: Before they left, you know, they got full face makeup, massive. 725 00:35:36,794 --> 00:35:39,393 Speaker 1: Lip filler, big eyelashes, you know, the hair extensions, etc. 726 00:35:40,034 --> 00:35:41,714 Speaker 1: Then they moved to Australia. After a bit of time, 727 00:35:41,754 --> 00:35:43,634 Speaker 1: they're they're just like all natural, bare face. 728 00:35:43,714 --> 00:35:45,994 Speaker 2: They're never really weird makeup. Maybe they've taken their extensions out, 729 00:35:45,994 --> 00:35:47,274 Speaker 2: they haven't got lip filler, etc. 730 00:35:48,514 --> 00:35:50,994 Speaker 3: So her name is Nina and she's moved to Wales, 731 00:35:51,034 --> 00:35:54,834 Speaker 3: I'm pretty sure. But her theory is that when people 732 00:35:54,874 --> 00:35:58,274 Speaker 3: from overseas moved to Australia, they almost have a glowdown. 733 00:35:58,634 --> 00:36:01,594 Speaker 3: They become more laid back, they stopped doing their hair, 734 00:36:01,754 --> 00:36:05,554 Speaker 3: they stopped trying so hard. Holly, when you moved to Australia, 735 00:36:05,594 --> 00:36:07,474 Speaker 3: did you fall victim to the Australia effect? 736 00:36:08,274 --> 00:36:10,354 Speaker 2: Look, it was a long time ago and lip filler 737 00:36:10,394 --> 00:36:14,593 Speaker 2: and hair extensions weren't really the vibe. But absolutely one 738 00:36:14,674 --> 00:36:18,554 Speaker 2: hundred percent. Yes, this is absolutely one hundred percent, I 739 00:36:18,634 --> 00:36:22,194 Speaker 2: think really, and this is just about assimilation to the 740 00:36:22,234 --> 00:36:24,194 Speaker 2: beauty standards of the place you're living in. 741 00:36:24,274 --> 00:36:24,473 Speaker 1: Right. 742 00:36:24,554 --> 00:36:29,594 Speaker 2: So there is a very classic, often mocked British mainstream 743 00:36:29,754 --> 00:36:31,474 Speaker 2: young female. 744 00:36:31,114 --> 00:36:32,194 Speaker 3: Look Jordy Shop. 745 00:36:32,274 --> 00:36:35,114 Speaker 2: Yeah very much. You see it on every reality show, 746 00:36:35,354 --> 00:36:38,834 Speaker 2: very Love Island, and it's very high maintenance. Let's just 747 00:36:38,914 --> 00:36:40,554 Speaker 2: call it what it is, high maintenance. 748 00:36:40,714 --> 00:36:40,873 Speaker 1: Right. 749 00:36:41,474 --> 00:36:45,674 Speaker 2: And then in Australia, although obviously there are high maintenance 750 00:36:45,714 --> 00:36:49,314 Speaker 2: pockets and all kinds of different cult suburbs coming together 751 00:36:49,354 --> 00:36:54,473 Speaker 2: and every but the predominant kind of mainstream vibe of 752 00:36:54,474 --> 00:36:58,114 Speaker 2: what an Australian particularly. Let's remember that these people often 753 00:36:58,114 --> 00:37:01,794 Speaker 2: come and move to beachy places, so they congregate around 754 00:37:01,914 --> 00:37:06,274 Speaker 2: coastlines in Australian cities, and what they see is people 755 00:37:06,314 --> 00:37:10,474 Speaker 2: getting up at far running outside looking amazing in the 756 00:37:10,594 --> 00:37:13,473 Speaker 2: active where everybody's like just coming out of the surf 757 00:37:13,514 --> 00:37:18,314 Speaker 2: and their hairs and it's a completely different esthetic. So 758 00:37:18,554 --> 00:37:20,674 Speaker 2: I think one hundreds of what happens. And when I 759 00:37:20,714 --> 00:37:22,794 Speaker 2: came and I was young, I was twenty three when 760 00:37:22,794 --> 00:37:26,394 Speaker 2: I came to Australia, that wasn't my look. But within 761 00:37:26,914 --> 00:37:31,274 Speaker 2: weeks months I was like swimmers with the denim mini 762 00:37:31,354 --> 00:37:34,473 Speaker 2: dungarees over the top, like always air dried hair which 763 00:37:34,514 --> 00:37:39,553 Speaker 2: suited me, freckles like, it's just a very much looser vibe. 764 00:37:39,594 --> 00:37:42,674 Speaker 2: It's one hundred percent Tury. You would look weird. I 765 00:37:42,674 --> 00:37:45,714 Speaker 2: mean maybe not again, depending on where you were down 766 00:37:45,754 --> 00:37:49,314 Speaker 2: at Bondie at six am with all of that stuff 767 00:37:49,354 --> 00:37:49,594 Speaker 2: on you. 768 00:37:49,754 --> 00:37:53,274 Speaker 3: Okay, Amelia, you have lived in lots of different places 769 00:37:53,274 --> 00:37:57,394 Speaker 3: all over the world. Do you find that how you dress, 770 00:37:57,434 --> 00:37:58,834 Speaker 3: how you do your makeup, how you do your hair 771 00:37:58,954 --> 00:38:00,393 Speaker 3: changes when you're in Australia. 772 00:38:00,594 --> 00:38:02,913 Speaker 1: It's a really good question. I'm going to push back 773 00:38:02,954 --> 00:38:05,674 Speaker 1: against this idea a little bit. I think that the 774 00:38:05,794 --> 00:38:10,194 Speaker 1: low maintenance look in Australia has become extremely high maintenance 775 00:38:10,354 --> 00:38:14,154 Speaker 1: in recent years. So I came back here to live 776 00:38:14,274 --> 00:38:17,033 Speaker 1: last year, and I think in the last i want 777 00:38:17,074 --> 00:38:21,714 Speaker 1: to say, five to ten years, I see way more 778 00:38:21,754 --> 00:38:24,513 Speaker 1: lip filler here than I do on the East Coast 779 00:38:24,594 --> 00:38:27,393 Speaker 1: of the United States. Just as an example, like that's 780 00:38:27,394 --> 00:38:31,154 Speaker 1: a very popular look here is the lip filler. Fake 781 00:38:31,274 --> 00:38:33,554 Speaker 1: tan is a much bigger thing here than it is 782 00:38:33,874 --> 00:38:36,834 Speaker 1: in the US. And the idea of some people really 783 00:38:36,994 --> 00:38:39,873 Speaker 1: maintain their fake tan all through winter, and they're doing 784 00:38:39,914 --> 00:38:42,154 Speaker 1: it on Sundays when they wash their bras and so on. 785 00:38:42,754 --> 00:38:45,553 Speaker 1: And the hair is the beechy wave takes a lot 786 00:38:45,594 --> 00:38:47,873 Speaker 1: of work, unless you're holy, in which case she does 787 00:38:47,914 --> 00:38:50,874 Speaker 1: have naturally beachy waves, which is annoying. But for most 788 00:38:50,914 --> 00:38:53,474 Speaker 1: of us, beachie waves take work. 789 00:38:53,794 --> 00:38:56,594 Speaker 3: Okay, So I liken this too. When I go on 790 00:38:56,594 --> 00:39:00,154 Speaker 3: a holiday and I pack my straighter and my makeup 791 00:39:00,154 --> 00:39:02,594 Speaker 3: bag and they never come out. It's exadly like that, 792 00:39:02,674 --> 00:39:05,714 Speaker 3: and I go and I just become a coastal goddess, 793 00:39:05,754 --> 00:39:07,274 Speaker 3: and I look in the mirror and I go, you 794 00:39:07,274 --> 00:39:11,234 Speaker 3: look great. Look at you with your like messy hair. 795 00:39:11,474 --> 00:39:13,354 Speaker 3: But if I turned up to an office like that, 796 00:39:13,474 --> 00:39:17,074 Speaker 3: I would look scraggly and just like unkempt or whatever. 797 00:39:17,514 --> 00:39:19,993 Speaker 3: So I wonder if it's more of a coastal thing. 798 00:39:20,114 --> 00:39:22,393 Speaker 2: Oh, it's one hundred percent coastal. Yeah, yeah, I think 799 00:39:22,434 --> 00:39:25,593 Speaker 2: it's very much place to a particular stereotype. The young 800 00:39:25,634 --> 00:39:28,074 Speaker 2: women that she's talking about in that video, that's where 801 00:39:28,114 --> 00:39:29,513 Speaker 2: they are. Yeah, you know what I mean, they are 802 00:39:29,514 --> 00:39:32,234 Speaker 2: hanging out in those places. It's not like all of 803 00:39:32,274 --> 00:39:35,594 Speaker 2: Australia is like that or that even a few suburbs 804 00:39:35,634 --> 00:39:38,074 Speaker 2: back from the beach is like that. But there's very 805 00:39:38,154 --> 00:39:40,714 Speaker 2: much a kind of a different aesthetic. It's very well 806 00:39:40,754 --> 00:39:43,554 Speaker 2: documented on the internet. You can find a million tiktoks 807 00:39:43,554 --> 00:39:46,714 Speaker 2: of like taking off my British chav makeup, or going 808 00:39:46,754 --> 00:39:49,314 Speaker 2: from a British girl to an American girl, going from 809 00:39:49,354 --> 00:39:51,594 Speaker 2: a British girl to an Australian girl. Like, there are 810 00:39:51,634 --> 00:39:53,873 Speaker 2: no question different stud And. 811 00:39:53,874 --> 00:39:57,874 Speaker 3: You probably wouldn't walk around Manchester barefoot you've any season 812 00:39:57,914 --> 00:39:59,474 Speaker 3: whereas I do that very Oden. 813 00:39:59,314 --> 00:40:01,114 Speaker 2: You really wouldn't. 814 00:40:01,994 --> 00:40:05,234 Speaker 1: After the break, we're going to unpack the article which 815 00:40:05,314 --> 00:40:09,393 Speaker 1: prompted a very heated debate about old mums. 816 00:40:09,954 --> 00:40:13,274 Speaker 3: Every Tuesday and Thursday, we drop new segments of MUMMYA 817 00:40:13,314 --> 00:40:16,834 Speaker 3: out Loud just for MUMMYA. Subscribers. Follow the link in 818 00:40:16,874 --> 00:40:18,913 Speaker 3: the show notes to get your daily dose of out 819 00:40:18,914 --> 00:40:24,794 Speaker 3: Loud and a big thank you to all our current subscribers. 820 00:40:27,834 --> 00:40:29,913 Speaker 1: Gather around. I'm going to tell you a story that 821 00:40:29,994 --> 00:40:32,474 Speaker 1: a lot of people think of as an urban horror story, 822 00:40:32,474 --> 00:40:34,354 Speaker 1: but this one actually happened, and it was in the 823 00:40:34,394 --> 00:40:38,154 Speaker 1: New York Times recently. Mary Beth Lewis is a retired 824 00:40:38,234 --> 00:40:41,114 Speaker 1: nurse living in the suburbs of New York. She had 825 00:40:41,154 --> 00:40:43,674 Speaker 1: five children with her husband, who was a very very 826 00:40:43,714 --> 00:40:46,993 Speaker 1: busy and important airline pilot. And then just as those 827 00:40:47,034 --> 00:40:49,354 Speaker 1: five children started to leave home they went out into 828 00:40:49,434 --> 00:40:52,234 Speaker 1: university or to the workplace. She got lonely. She was 829 00:40:52,234 --> 00:40:54,194 Speaker 1: in her fifties. She said, I want to have more kids. 830 00:40:54,874 --> 00:40:58,274 Speaker 1: So she used IVF to have twins just before her 831 00:40:58,314 --> 00:41:01,714 Speaker 1: fiftieth birthday. And then in her fifties and I need 832 00:41:01,754 --> 00:41:04,594 Speaker 1: to get this exactly right, she had another daughter. She 833 00:41:04,714 --> 00:41:07,634 Speaker 1: had twin boys. She had a third set of twins 834 00:41:08,074 --> 00:41:11,794 Speaker 1: and a thirteenth child. At sixty two, she's got more children. 835 00:41:11,834 --> 00:41:14,314 Speaker 3: And those children she all physically carried and birthed. 836 00:41:14,394 --> 00:41:16,473 Speaker 1: She physically carried in births. And what I took from 837 00:41:16,474 --> 00:41:18,634 Speaker 1: that is, Jesse, I never want to hear you complain 838 00:41:18,754 --> 00:41:20,154 Speaker 1: about carrying twins again. 839 00:41:20,394 --> 00:41:24,074 Speaker 2: What a lightweight you are? I know, Worry Beth is 840 00:41:24,114 --> 00:41:24,794 Speaker 2: the standard. 841 00:41:24,914 --> 00:41:26,794 Speaker 3: She survived it and did it again and again and 842 00:41:26,834 --> 00:41:30,114 Speaker 3: again in her fifties. I'm finding this. This is inspiration 843 00:41:30,234 --> 00:41:30,754 Speaker 3: pawn for me. 844 00:41:30,954 --> 00:41:34,114 Speaker 1: Okay. So next, what happened is that her husband, who 845 00:41:34,154 --> 00:41:36,754 Speaker 1: had recently retired, said I don't want any more kids. 846 00:41:36,794 --> 00:41:39,873 Speaker 1: But here's the problem. Mary Beth wanted more kids. By 847 00:41:39,874 --> 00:41:42,274 Speaker 1: the way, her adult children at this point are begging 848 00:41:42,314 --> 00:41:45,154 Speaker 1: her not to have more children. They were fairly indulgent 849 00:41:45,274 --> 00:41:47,794 Speaker 1: of the couple of kids that she had first naturally 850 00:41:47,834 --> 00:41:50,234 Speaker 1: in her late fifties, but they didn't want her to 851 00:41:50,274 --> 00:41:52,234 Speaker 1: have more kids because they were looking after these kids. 852 00:41:52,274 --> 00:41:54,234 Speaker 1: The adult kids were looking after the little kids. 853 00:41:54,274 --> 00:41:58,074 Speaker 3: And she used IVF throughout her fifties. Correct, yes, she 854 00:41:58,194 --> 00:41:58,914 Speaker 3: used IVF. 855 00:41:59,034 --> 00:42:02,473 Speaker 1: And then what happened was she went behind her partner's back, 856 00:42:02,514 --> 00:42:06,354 Speaker 1: behind her grown children's backs. She hired a surrogate to 857 00:42:06,434 --> 00:42:11,194 Speaker 1: deliver her full fourteenth and her fifteenth children. This is 858 00:42:11,234 --> 00:42:12,194 Speaker 1: where the troubles begin. 859 00:42:12,394 --> 00:42:14,033 Speaker 2: That this is where the troubles begin. 860 00:42:15,274 --> 00:42:15,714 Speaker 1: I think the. 861 00:42:15,714 --> 00:42:17,714 Speaker 2: Troubles have already begun. 862 00:42:17,914 --> 00:42:20,834 Speaker 1: Her fourteenth and her fifteenth children were taken away from 863 00:42:20,874 --> 00:42:23,194 Speaker 1: her before she even got a chance to meet them. 864 00:42:23,234 --> 00:42:26,034 Speaker 1: Because remember these were children who were delivered by surrogates, 865 00:42:26,394 --> 00:42:28,714 Speaker 1: So before she got to hold these children, they were 866 00:42:28,754 --> 00:42:32,234 Speaker 1: whisked away from her and put into foster care. And 867 00:42:32,314 --> 00:42:36,513 Speaker 1: now she's seventy and pursuing legal action to get those 868 00:42:36,634 --> 00:42:37,274 Speaker 1: kids back. 869 00:42:37,634 --> 00:42:42,074 Speaker 3: Wow, who are not genetically hers doesn't have an egg 870 00:42:42,114 --> 00:42:47,194 Speaker 3: of hers or her husband's sperm, but it shares a 871 00:42:47,234 --> 00:42:51,234 Speaker 3: donor with some of the children she's already had, so 872 00:42:51,394 --> 00:42:56,434 Speaker 3: some of her children would be biological siblings to these twins. 873 00:42:56,874 --> 00:42:59,393 Speaker 3: But she and this is where it gets really complicated too, 874 00:42:59,714 --> 00:43:05,873 Speaker 3: is genetically and gestationally and socially, she hasn't been their mother, 875 00:43:05,994 --> 00:43:08,993 Speaker 3: although she was the one who intended and to be born. 876 00:43:09,194 --> 00:43:12,274 Speaker 2: Because in America, this is something you can pay people 877 00:43:12,314 --> 00:43:12,554 Speaker 2: to do. 878 00:43:12,594 --> 00:43:14,794 Speaker 1: Correct, She's paid hundreds of thousands of stars. 879 00:43:14,954 --> 00:43:18,514 Speaker 2: She's basically paid for those children, which I assume is 880 00:43:18,554 --> 00:43:19,594 Speaker 2: part of her legal case. 881 00:43:19,754 --> 00:43:19,953 Speaker 1: Right. 882 00:43:19,994 --> 00:43:23,554 Speaker 2: So she's like, I have bought those children, and yet 883 00:43:23,594 --> 00:43:25,794 Speaker 2: I do not have those children that would be part 884 00:43:25,834 --> 00:43:27,154 Speaker 2: of this, wouldn't it I imagine. 885 00:43:27,114 --> 00:43:29,714 Speaker 1: No, that's a great point. Absolutely, And the judge that 886 00:43:29,754 --> 00:43:32,354 Speaker 1: took the children away from her didn't really have a 887 00:43:32,554 --> 00:43:35,234 Speaker 1: very sound legal reasoning for why he did it. He 888 00:43:35,354 --> 00:43:38,554 Speaker 1: basically made a vibes based decision that she was too 889 00:43:38,634 --> 00:43:40,433 Speaker 1: old to look after these kids. 890 00:43:40,154 --> 00:43:43,114 Speaker 2: Which I think lots of people would probably sympathize with. 891 00:43:43,234 --> 00:43:47,354 Speaker 3: But then what's interesting is how many judges, in cases 892 00:43:47,354 --> 00:43:51,154 Speaker 3: of child protection or you know, due to tragic circumstances, 893 00:43:51,154 --> 00:43:54,154 Speaker 3: you lose a mother or a father, would those children 894 00:43:54,194 --> 00:43:56,114 Speaker 3: then go into the custody of the grandparents. That would 895 00:43:56,114 --> 00:43:59,674 Speaker 3: happen all of the time, and that can't be aged discrimination. 896 00:43:59,754 --> 00:44:02,594 Speaker 1: Ed, right, That's a good point. So this is so 897 00:44:02,834 --> 00:44:05,154 Speaker 1: I want to broaden this out to talk about old 898 00:44:05,234 --> 00:44:07,634 Speaker 1: moms and why we have a revulsion of about them. 899 00:44:08,154 --> 00:44:11,074 Speaker 1: But before I get to that, this story, what did 900 00:44:11,074 --> 00:44:12,354 Speaker 1: it make you feel, Holly? 901 00:44:13,394 --> 00:44:15,314 Speaker 2: It made me very sad. I think this is a 902 00:44:15,354 --> 00:44:17,913 Speaker 2: story of extremes. And I know that you should never 903 00:44:17,994 --> 00:44:21,034 Speaker 2: diagnose people who you know. I'm not a professional, but 904 00:44:21,234 --> 00:44:23,593 Speaker 2: Mary Beth to me seems like she has some mental 905 00:44:23,674 --> 00:44:27,274 Speaker 2: illness issues right the bit, as you said, Amelia, the 906 00:44:27,354 --> 00:44:29,674 Speaker 2: kids left home, and she said, in this article it 907 00:44:29,674 --> 00:44:32,433 Speaker 2: says this is empty. She thought, I don't like this 908 00:44:32,674 --> 00:44:34,873 Speaker 2: at all, but so many women That's what I was 909 00:44:34,874 --> 00:44:36,554 Speaker 2: going to say. But what I'm going to say is 910 00:44:36,634 --> 00:44:40,913 Speaker 2: that's a very familiar feeling to lots of people. They 911 00:44:41,034 --> 00:44:44,434 Speaker 2: don't all go, you know what, I'm going to start 912 00:44:44,434 --> 00:44:47,914 Speaker 2: all over again, like to fulfill that. And it reminded 913 00:44:47,914 --> 00:44:50,393 Speaker 2: me of somebody I met recently who she had quite 914 00:44:50,434 --> 00:44:54,114 Speaker 2: a complicated family, but she said her mother loved babies. 915 00:44:53,874 --> 00:44:56,554 Speaker 1: Loved babies, you hear that often, yep. 916 00:44:56,674 --> 00:44:59,234 Speaker 2: And would foster babies in any kind, but then kind 917 00:44:59,274 --> 00:45:01,194 Speaker 2: of lost interest in them as they got a bit older, 918 00:45:01,234 --> 00:45:05,274 Speaker 2: you know, Like I think there is a point obviously 919 00:45:05,314 --> 00:45:09,834 Speaker 2: at which your urges and your desires clash into the 920 00:45:09,874 --> 00:45:11,913 Speaker 2: well being of kids. Now, you know, I don't know 921 00:45:12,034 --> 00:45:14,954 Speaker 2: Mary Beth, and I'm not qualified to say this, but 922 00:45:15,114 --> 00:45:17,834 Speaker 2: it seems to be that in this very extreme case 923 00:45:17,834 --> 00:45:21,433 Speaker 2: of somebody who is fulfilling, as she says, an emptiness 924 00:45:21,474 --> 00:45:24,794 Speaker 2: in her at some point, isn't it fair enough that 925 00:45:24,874 --> 00:45:28,314 Speaker 2: somebody's going to intervene and say, hey, Mary Beth, maybe 926 00:45:28,314 --> 00:45:30,354 Speaker 2: you should just get some therapy. 927 00:45:30,074 --> 00:45:33,994 Speaker 3: And how the rights of a child intersect with the 928 00:45:34,074 --> 00:45:36,114 Speaker 3: rights of a mother, with the rights of a father, 929 00:45:36,314 --> 00:45:39,634 Speaker 3: and then add on top of all of that reproductive technology. 930 00:45:39,634 --> 00:45:43,674 Speaker 3: Because that's the story here, is that what are the 931 00:45:43,994 --> 00:45:47,954 Speaker 3: ethics the limits of reproductive technology? 932 00:45:47,994 --> 00:45:51,314 Speaker 2: And I'm really uncomfortable to say when is too old 933 00:45:51,354 --> 00:45:54,754 Speaker 2: and for there to be Like in Australia, there aren't 934 00:45:54,834 --> 00:45:57,274 Speaker 2: hard and fast rules, but different states and different clinics 935 00:45:57,274 --> 00:46:01,674 Speaker 2: have their own rules. But generally speaking, mid forties is 936 00:46:01,714 --> 00:46:06,154 Speaker 2: often when IVF clinics will stop treating you. If donors 937 00:46:06,154 --> 00:46:09,274 Speaker 2: are involved, they'll push to fifties. This is obviously there 938 00:46:09,314 --> 00:46:12,634 Speaker 2: is actually firm ruling on it, but that's broadly the 939 00:46:12,674 --> 00:46:15,634 Speaker 2: cutoff is seen to be around that time. You know, 940 00:46:15,714 --> 00:46:17,474 Speaker 2: I was an old mum. I was forty when I 941 00:46:17,514 --> 00:46:19,354 Speaker 2: had my second child, and some people would have thoughts 942 00:46:19,394 --> 00:46:21,314 Speaker 2: about that. You often hear people say it's much better 943 00:46:21,354 --> 00:46:22,953 Speaker 2: to have them young and that you won't be around 944 00:46:22,954 --> 00:46:24,794 Speaker 2: when they're old, and da da da da da. But 945 00:46:24,874 --> 00:46:26,994 Speaker 2: as you pointed out with that example about people who 946 00:46:27,074 --> 00:46:29,473 Speaker 2: lose parents and get put in the care of grandparents, 947 00:46:29,834 --> 00:46:32,754 Speaker 2: it's not like having your kids young inoculates you from 948 00:46:32,754 --> 00:46:35,474 Speaker 2: all those eventualities and means you're definitely going to be 949 00:46:35,474 --> 00:46:37,194 Speaker 2: living down the road from them when they have their 950 00:46:37,274 --> 00:46:39,913 Speaker 2: kids and whatever. So I'm not a believer in like 951 00:46:40,114 --> 00:46:42,554 Speaker 2: this is too old, full stop the end, but I 952 00:46:42,594 --> 00:46:46,594 Speaker 2: think this is an extreme case, and in extreme cases, 953 00:46:46,754 --> 00:46:48,794 Speaker 2: I kind of think the intervention is fair enough. 954 00:46:48,874 --> 00:46:51,234 Speaker 1: No, it is an extreme case, and the starts back 955 00:46:51,274 --> 00:46:54,354 Speaker 1: that up. Only something like twelve hundred American women in 956 00:46:54,394 --> 00:46:56,994 Speaker 1: their fifties gave birth in twenty twenty three, which is 957 00:46:57,034 --> 00:46:59,034 Speaker 1: the most recent year stats have been collected, So it 958 00:46:59,114 --> 00:47:03,194 Speaker 1: is an extreme case. But the reason I get uncomfortable 959 00:47:03,274 --> 00:47:05,834 Speaker 1: hearing people say, well, then they'll never be there for 960 00:47:05,874 --> 00:47:08,433 Speaker 1: your high school graduation and they'll never be able to 961 00:47:08,474 --> 00:47:11,874 Speaker 1: see you grow up. It's like we don't decide whether 962 00:47:12,074 --> 00:47:15,393 Speaker 1: women can have children based on whether we know they'll 963 00:47:15,434 --> 00:47:18,033 Speaker 1: be a good mother or not. And it's getting into 964 00:47:18,074 --> 00:47:19,873 Speaker 1: that issue of like, well, but you won't be a 965 00:47:19,914 --> 00:47:21,474 Speaker 1: good enough mother because you won't be there for the 966 00:47:21,554 --> 00:47:23,794 Speaker 1: high school graduation. And if you go down that path, 967 00:47:24,114 --> 00:47:26,514 Speaker 1: then you're going to start deeming all sorts of mothers 968 00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:29,714 Speaker 1: not particularly good mothers for various reasons because of choices 969 00:47:29,754 --> 00:47:32,354 Speaker 1: they made because of how they live their lives, and 970 00:47:32,594 --> 00:47:35,114 Speaker 1: that's what bothers me about the moralism around it. I 971 00:47:35,154 --> 00:47:38,554 Speaker 1: also want to say that Mary Beth, by all accounts, 972 00:47:38,634 --> 00:47:41,473 Speaker 1: was an excellent mother. And so even in this very 973 00:47:41,474 --> 00:47:44,194 Speaker 1: long New York Times magazine piece which we're talking about, 974 00:47:44,234 --> 00:47:48,154 Speaker 1: which is clearly very skeptical about her case, legally, her 975 00:47:48,234 --> 00:47:51,074 Speaker 1: children talk about she was an amazing mother. She took 976 00:47:51,114 --> 00:47:53,594 Speaker 1: them lots of interesting places, even when they didn't have 977 00:47:53,594 --> 00:47:56,074 Speaker 1: a lot of money, and then when they did acquire 978 00:47:56,154 --> 00:47:59,194 Speaker 1: more money, when her husband's career took off, she still 979 00:47:59,274 --> 00:48:01,834 Speaker 1: really wanted to make sure that she was there for 980 00:48:01,874 --> 00:48:04,114 Speaker 1: them and that she was there emotionally for them, which 981 00:48:04,154 --> 00:48:07,393 Speaker 1: by all accounts she was. There's another interesting dynam in 982 00:48:07,434 --> 00:48:10,433 Speaker 1: her story, which is that her husband was clearly a 983 00:48:10,594 --> 00:48:14,434 Speaker 1: very absent father, so he was the primary bread winner 984 00:48:14,514 --> 00:48:18,034 Speaker 1: in that he was this successful commercial airline pilot. He 985 00:48:18,114 --> 00:48:21,274 Speaker 1: was never there, and what the story makes clear is 986 00:48:21,314 --> 00:48:24,513 Speaker 1: that they liked it that way. He liked not being there. 987 00:48:24,554 --> 00:48:27,194 Speaker 1: He liked, as the story says, taking selfies in front 988 00:48:27,234 --> 00:48:28,913 Speaker 1: of the Sydney Opera House when he was down in 989 00:48:28,914 --> 00:48:32,074 Speaker 1: Australia after flying a plane there, or he liked having 990 00:48:32,114 --> 00:48:34,714 Speaker 1: a beer in airport hotel bars at the end of 991 00:48:34,754 --> 00:48:37,473 Speaker 1: a long flight. He didn't particularly want to be there 992 00:48:37,514 --> 00:48:40,474 Speaker 1: for the kids. She loved being there for the kids. 993 00:48:41,154 --> 00:48:44,154 Speaker 1: And I think that adds this whole other complicated wrinkle 994 00:48:44,154 --> 00:48:44,914 Speaker 1: into the story. 995 00:48:45,074 --> 00:48:48,874 Speaker 3: Does And I felt throughout the story an enormous amount 996 00:48:48,914 --> 00:48:51,834 Speaker 3: of empathy for mary Beth. And I kept thinking, there 997 00:48:51,874 --> 00:48:54,834 Speaker 3: is nothing quite like the desire to have children. 998 00:48:55,234 --> 00:48:59,194 Speaker 2: She had thirteen children already. I want to be empathetic, Jesse, 999 00:48:59,274 --> 00:49:01,913 Speaker 2: and I am to a point. But it's not like 1000 00:49:02,034 --> 00:49:03,554 Speaker 2: she didn't have children. 1001 00:49:03,754 --> 00:49:06,554 Speaker 3: No, no, I know, but like, for example, so I 1002 00:49:06,634 --> 00:49:11,674 Speaker 3: had Luna, and then I would have gone to enormous 1003 00:49:11,754 --> 00:49:12,874 Speaker 3: lengths to have another baby. 1004 00:49:12,914 --> 00:49:15,834 Speaker 2: I know, Jesse. But again, you can't compare yourself. 1005 00:49:17,474 --> 00:49:20,234 Speaker 3: Your spot on, your spot on, And that's why I 1006 00:49:20,354 --> 00:49:24,634 Speaker 3: kept kind of reminding, like, this is a human being 1007 00:49:24,634 --> 00:49:27,074 Speaker 3: who longs for her two children, and I kept kind 1008 00:49:27,114 --> 00:49:30,514 Speaker 3: of coming back to the humanity in that experience. The 1009 00:49:30,594 --> 00:49:34,274 Speaker 3: other element in terms of reproductive technologies is that they 1010 00:49:34,514 --> 00:49:39,234 Speaker 3: could in certain embryo into mary Beth. The twins that 1011 00:49:39,274 --> 00:49:42,834 Speaker 3: she had right before her fiftieth birthday nearly killed her. 1012 00:49:43,274 --> 00:49:47,314 Speaker 3: Like she had such an awful complication that she could 1013 00:49:47,394 --> 00:49:51,914 Speaker 3: have died, and that puts health professionals in such a 1014 00:49:52,034 --> 00:49:56,194 Speaker 3: The resources it takes for someone who is fifty five 1015 00:49:56,394 --> 00:49:58,873 Speaker 3: fifty nine giving birth to a set of twins like 1016 00:49:58,914 --> 00:50:00,914 Speaker 3: that is an enormous. 1017 00:50:00,754 --> 00:50:02,953 Speaker 2: So they actually refused, didn't they to let her have 1018 00:50:03,034 --> 00:50:03,594 Speaker 2: good lust. 1019 00:50:03,634 --> 00:50:06,714 Speaker 3: So they said she wanted to have naturally as in 1020 00:50:06,874 --> 00:50:11,033 Speaker 3: birth children after the age of sixty, and they said, 1021 00:50:11,114 --> 00:50:14,513 Speaker 3: you've had six seed sections and the scar is paper thing. 1022 00:50:14,594 --> 00:50:16,834 Speaker 3: You will bleed to death. If you try and carry 1023 00:50:16,874 --> 00:50:19,393 Speaker 3: this child, you'll bleed to death. So that's kind of 1024 00:50:19,434 --> 00:50:25,033 Speaker 3: another element. But then it's an uncomfortable conversation because you'd 1025 00:50:25,114 --> 00:50:29,913 Speaker 3: never want to shame. What reproductive technology has done for 1026 00:50:30,194 --> 00:50:33,354 Speaker 3: same sex couples, for people who would otherwise not have 1027 00:50:33,434 --> 00:50:36,634 Speaker 3: children at any age is incredible. 1028 00:50:36,874 --> 00:50:39,634 Speaker 2: And also the thing is, as you've touched on, the 1029 00:50:39,714 --> 00:50:42,314 Speaker 2: reason why this is quite an interesting thing to consider, 1030 00:50:42,634 --> 00:50:45,994 Speaker 2: is that reproductive technology is one thing, but also longevity 1031 00:50:46,074 --> 00:50:48,393 Speaker 2: science is another. And we are seeing the people are 1032 00:50:48,474 --> 00:50:51,674 Speaker 2: convinced that they can live better, healthier, for longer, and 1033 00:50:51,674 --> 00:50:53,514 Speaker 2: that your forties isn't what your forties used to be, 1034 00:50:53,634 --> 00:50:55,554 Speaker 2: and your fifties isn't what your fifties used to be. 1035 00:50:56,114 --> 00:50:59,354 Speaker 2: And so there is a perception and I've heard it 1036 00:50:59,434 --> 00:51:02,674 Speaker 2: talked about on American podcasts and things like that, whatever 1037 00:51:02,834 --> 00:51:05,513 Speaker 2: cutoff limit we used to have in our minds for 1038 00:51:05,794 --> 00:51:07,433 Speaker 2: when a woman and it's always a woman, as I'm 1039 00:51:07,434 --> 00:51:09,274 Speaker 2: sure we're about to get to, but when a woman 1040 00:51:09,674 --> 00:51:13,274 Speaker 2: should have a baby like that gate is being bashed 1041 00:51:13,354 --> 00:51:17,634 Speaker 2: down with you know, all the supplements and health breakthroughs 1042 00:51:17,674 --> 00:51:19,634 Speaker 2: and fertility, and so we are going to have to 1043 00:51:19,634 --> 00:51:22,314 Speaker 2: grapple with these issues. But I agree with you Amelia 1044 00:51:22,354 --> 00:51:24,714 Speaker 2: that putting moralism around it is nonsense. 1045 00:51:24,754 --> 00:51:25,714 Speaker 3: It's dangerous. 1046 00:51:25,754 --> 00:51:28,634 Speaker 2: But at the same time, Mary Beth Babe, I think 1047 00:51:29,154 --> 00:51:31,194 Speaker 2: maybe thirteen children is enough. 1048 00:51:31,234 --> 00:51:34,554 Speaker 1: Mary BET's got some unique problems. But you know what's 1049 00:51:34,674 --> 00:51:39,234 Speaker 1: not that extreme is old dads and celebrity old dads. 1050 00:51:39,314 --> 00:51:41,473 Speaker 1: There's no tut tutting about them. There is a little 1051 00:51:41,514 --> 00:51:43,914 Speaker 1: bit more increasingly, I think, but for a long time 1052 00:51:43,994 --> 00:51:46,234 Speaker 1: there it was sort of seen as a mark of 1053 00:51:46,274 --> 00:51:49,034 Speaker 1: pride that they were still virile enough to father children. 1054 00:51:49,114 --> 00:51:52,354 Speaker 1: And just a couple of extreme examples from the celebrity world. 1055 00:51:52,394 --> 00:51:55,873 Speaker 1: Al Pacino became a dad for a fourth time last 1056 00:51:55,914 --> 00:52:00,114 Speaker 1: year at eighty three eighty three, and just last month 1057 00:52:00,234 --> 00:52:02,714 Speaker 1: Kelsey Grammar, congrats he became a dad for the eighth 1058 00:52:02,714 --> 00:52:06,634 Speaker 1: time at seventy. And there is no judge taking those 1059 00:52:06,714 --> 00:52:09,513 Speaker 1: children or taking custody of those children away from these 1060 00:52:09,554 --> 00:52:10,074 Speaker 1: old dads. 1061 00:52:10,114 --> 00:52:12,594 Speaker 2: I now is that there is no judge taking them 1062 00:52:12,634 --> 00:52:15,114 Speaker 2: away because they think that they're in the care of 1063 00:52:15,154 --> 00:52:16,034 Speaker 2: their younger mothers. 1064 00:52:16,154 --> 00:52:16,354 Speaker 1: Right. 1065 00:52:16,434 --> 00:52:18,354 Speaker 2: So the age of the women these men are having 1066 00:52:18,434 --> 00:52:23,314 Speaker 2: children are spoiler alert Hollway, Yeah, is quite a lot less. However, 1067 00:52:23,474 --> 00:52:27,114 Speaker 2: I do feel very judgy about those guys like I do. 1068 00:52:27,314 --> 00:52:29,393 Speaker 2: Why do I feel so judgy about that? Why do 1069 00:52:29,474 --> 00:52:30,154 Speaker 2: I feel. 1070 00:52:29,914 --> 00:52:32,754 Speaker 1: Because science says that as men's sperm gets older, the 1071 00:52:32,914 --> 00:52:35,913 Speaker 1: risk of medical complications increases. We don't talk about that 1072 00:52:35,954 --> 00:52:38,354 Speaker 1: as much as we do as for women, but it's true. 1073 00:52:38,434 --> 00:52:41,154 Speaker 2: And do I also think that the eighty three year 1074 00:52:41,154 --> 00:52:44,473 Speaker 2: old al Pacino is you know, I is not. 1075 00:52:44,394 --> 00:52:45,954 Speaker 3: Taking the responsibility seriously? 1076 00:52:46,074 --> 00:52:48,474 Speaker 2: Well? No. And also, although I very much agree with 1077 00:52:48,514 --> 00:52:50,594 Speaker 2: what you said before, Amelia about we don't go around 1078 00:52:50,594 --> 00:52:52,274 Speaker 2: saying or you should be able to have children because 1079 00:52:52,274 --> 00:52:53,674 Speaker 2: you're going to live a long time and be at 1080 00:52:53,714 --> 00:52:57,953 Speaker 2: the graduation, which is a nonsense idea. But al Pacino 1081 00:52:58,594 --> 00:53:01,234 Speaker 2: eighty three like it's really not going to be around it. 1082 00:53:01,434 --> 00:53:04,034 Speaker 2: So it doesn't feel like the fathering part of that 1083 00:53:04,154 --> 00:53:08,154 Speaker 2: is like an active choice more and again, maybe I'm 1084 00:53:08,234 --> 00:53:11,754 Speaker 2: judging too much or something that his younger partner wanted. 1085 00:53:12,194 --> 00:53:14,433 Speaker 3: Yeah, his job is to exist and a mother's job 1086 00:53:14,474 --> 00:53:15,433 Speaker 3: is to do everything else. 1087 00:53:15,594 --> 00:53:15,914 Speaker 2: Yes. 1088 00:53:16,914 --> 00:53:20,834 Speaker 3: Now, while we're on the topic of parenting, Amelia, you 1089 00:53:21,154 --> 00:53:24,634 Speaker 3: cheat on us on Saturdays with Parenting out Loud. Can 1090 00:53:24,674 --> 00:53:28,154 Speaker 3: you tell us what is on your agenda for Saturday's episode? 1091 00:53:28,394 --> 00:53:30,834 Speaker 1: Yeah, think of me as the Orlando Bloom to your 1092 00:53:30,914 --> 00:53:34,674 Speaker 1: Katie part if you will. I do another podcast on 1093 00:53:34,674 --> 00:53:38,714 Speaker 1: this network called Parenting out Loud with Mons and Stacy, Yes, 1094 00:53:38,834 --> 00:53:41,714 Speaker 1: who are known to the out Loud universe, and it's 1095 00:53:41,754 --> 00:53:43,954 Speaker 1: similar to what we chat about here on out Loud. 1096 00:53:44,234 --> 00:53:47,674 Speaker 1: It feels very similar. It's not parenting advice. It's not 1097 00:53:47,794 --> 00:53:51,074 Speaker 1: oh gosh, I have spit up on my shirt and eyes. 1098 00:53:51,074 --> 00:53:52,314 Speaker 3: Like the conversation we just had. 1099 00:53:52,514 --> 00:53:54,754 Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm not like a clip art of like a 1100 00:53:54,834 --> 00:53:57,234 Speaker 1: working mom with like you know, the laptop and the 1101 00:53:57,314 --> 00:54:00,994 Speaker 1: high heels. Like these are real conversations, really thinky conversations 1102 00:54:01,034 --> 00:54:05,794 Speaker 1: about what's in the parenting zeitgeist. It's the conversation I 1103 00:54:05,834 --> 00:54:08,433 Speaker 1: think the parents really want to have, but which they 1104 00:54:08,514 --> 00:54:10,873 Speaker 1: might be too scared to voice out loud and with 1105 00:54:10,954 --> 00:54:11,554 Speaker 1: my friends. 1106 00:54:11,594 --> 00:54:12,914 Speaker 3: What's Saturday's episode about? 1107 00:54:13,194 --> 00:54:17,154 Speaker 1: Yeah, so this week we're talking about a very controversial 1108 00:54:17,514 --> 00:54:20,553 Speaker 1: new skincare brand has launched for little kids. We're talking 1109 00:54:20,594 --> 00:54:21,314 Speaker 1: like three year old. 1110 00:54:21,234 --> 00:54:23,994 Speaker 2: I've seen this, Yeah, yeah, and I'm dying to know 1111 00:54:23,994 --> 00:54:24,714 Speaker 2: what you think about that. 1112 00:54:24,834 --> 00:54:27,393 Speaker 1: Where we got to on that was we sort of 1113 00:54:27,394 --> 00:54:30,474 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about whether girlhood is just another consumer 1114 00:54:30,554 --> 00:54:33,714 Speaker 1: identity now it's just another thing to buy, another market 1115 00:54:33,754 --> 00:54:36,234 Speaker 1: to pitch too, and is that bad? Like how should 1116 00:54:36,234 --> 00:54:38,913 Speaker 1: we feel about that? And we also wanted to talk 1117 00:54:38,914 --> 00:54:41,754 Speaker 1: about that phrase it takes a village, And where we 1118 00:54:41,834 --> 00:54:45,634 Speaker 1: got to is that maybe millennial parents don't want a village, 1119 00:54:45,794 --> 00:54:49,473 Speaker 1: Like maybe that's inconvenient, maybe it's too much trouble. Maybe 1120 00:54:49,554 --> 00:54:53,674 Speaker 1: we actually don't want a village anymore. Very controversial. So 1121 00:54:53,874 --> 00:54:56,754 Speaker 1: search Parenting out loud and hit follow and come join 1122 00:54:56,874 --> 00:54:58,274 Speaker 1: us out louders. 1123 00:54:58,314 --> 00:55:00,474 Speaker 2: Thank you so much for being here with us today. 1124 00:55:00,554 --> 00:55:03,594 Speaker 2: Remember we're on YouTube and if you watch today's episode 1125 00:55:03,594 --> 00:55:06,393 Speaker 2: on YouTube, you would have seen my face when I 1126 00:55:06,474 --> 00:55:07,754 Speaker 2: was going can't tell me? 1127 00:55:09,794 --> 00:55:10,914 Speaker 1: And your beachy. 1128 00:55:10,554 --> 00:55:14,834 Speaker 2: Waves and Beachy Waves. But you can always catch all 1129 00:55:14,874 --> 00:55:17,314 Speaker 2: of the episodes on YouTube if you want to. There 1130 00:55:17,514 --> 00:55:19,194 Speaker 2: is a link in the show notes. Thank you to 1131 00:55:19,194 --> 00:55:21,834 Speaker 2: our amazing team for putting the show together. We'll see 1132 00:55:21,834 --> 00:55:22,314 Speaker 2: you tomorrow. 1133 00:55:22,674 --> 00:55:29,114 Speaker 1: Bye bye. 1134 00:55:29,954 --> 00:55:32,953 Speaker 3: Mar Mayor acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on 1135 00:55:32,994 --> 00:55:34,834 Speaker 3: which we have recorded this podcast.