Speaker 1: We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land. We're recording
Speaker 1: on today.
Speaker 2: Almost as soon as he pulled out of the driveway,
Speaker 2: I started bellowing like oh real, like yeah, And after
Speaker 2: maybe ten minutes of that, I was like on the toilet,
Speaker 2: and then I thought, I'm going to have a baby
Speaker 2: in the toilet if I don't get off right now.
Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome back to Eat, Sleep, Shit, Repeat, the
Speaker 1: Wildly Unhitched Podcast, all about the madness that is motherhood
Speaker 1: and every damn little thing in between.
Speaker 3: I'm Kiri Cells, I'm Kelly McCarron, and in case you
Speaker 3: missed it, on last week's episode, we talked to podcast
Speaker 3: host and disability advocate Peter Hook and how to talk
Speaker 3: to kids about disabilities.
Speaker 4: It was a.
Speaker 3: Must for everyone, not just people with kids. I think
Speaker 3: it was just a must. I absolutely loved that chat
Speaker 3: and we would love to get her back on the
Speaker 3: pod if you want to send in your questions on
Speaker 3: the show today, Key is going to share about the
Speaker 3: recent developments around the upcoming ish birth of baby number
Speaker 3: two and setting herself up for a.
Speaker 1: Bea be back vaginal birth after Cesari case you didn't
Speaker 1: know what the acronym was but first, kay, this episode's
Speaker 1: all about you do because you're.
Speaker 4: Up for peek and pit.
Speaker 1: There you go. So I think probably if the shitters
Speaker 1: have been listening for the past couple of weeks, you
Speaker 1: could tell that my mental health was not doing very great. Really, yeah,
Speaker 1: just lots.
Speaker 4: Of things I would have never guessed.
Speaker 1: On my plate, lots of you were so things to navigate,
Speaker 1: so just cal didn't cry once. No, no. So basically
Speaker 1: after that week, I felt like I had reached a
Speaker 1: bit of a rock.
Speaker 4: Botty, funny way to describe it. Given the week prior
Speaker 4: with the issues.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, I'm never going to get over these
Speaker 1: pooh joke Sally, and I just was like not feeling myself.
Speaker 1: I think after Europe it was a lot being away
Speaker 1: for so long, and then I had the shit storm,
Speaker 1: and then we had obviously my mother in law's birthday,
Speaker 1: and just as pregnancy has been so overwhelming, and I
Speaker 1: just kind of pulled Charlie aside and I was like, hey,
Speaker 1: I'm not doing well. I think I need to get
Speaker 1: on top of things. So went to the GP to
Speaker 1: fill out my mental health thing again.
Speaker 4: And it's a bit of a fun time isn't it.
Speaker 1: And it was just like she got the format and
Speaker 1: I started crying, and you're just like, she doesn't even
Speaker 1: ask them questions, pull yourself together. So embarrassing rooms with
Speaker 1: me obviously, because I'm taking it on like a Thursday
Speaker 1: or Friday. Anyway, it was just very clear from that
Speaker 1: scenario that I was in fact not doing well.
Speaker 4: That you would have failed the question I failed miserably.
Speaker 1: But you know what the really bad thing is is
Speaker 1: that I had to do it two days later with
Speaker 1: my midwife.
Speaker 4: Oh no, she had to do it twice.
Speaker 1: Its grim both times.
Speaker 4: It was pretty grim.
Speaker 1: It was pretty grim, and I just thought, of course, like,
Speaker 1: of course I've had to fill out a mental questionnaire
Speaker 1: and you know, the space of a few days. But
Speaker 1: I will say that for anyone listening who might be
Speaker 1: like not in a great place, honestly, like voicing it
Speaker 1: to Charlie, chatting to my GP, tell some lagging it
Speaker 1: with my.
Speaker 4: Midwes, someone that you don't feel okay.
Speaker 1: I felt instantly light better, lighter that I had just
Speaker 1: kind of like addressed the elephant in my head. You
Speaker 1: know that a lot of the stuff's internalized. I'm sure
Speaker 1: people are picking up on it, and I do talk
Speaker 1: about it to a certain extent, but it was like
Speaker 1: a bit of a release and it just thought, Okay, cool.
Speaker 4: I've released that.
Speaker 1: Now let's figure out a better way to move forward.
Speaker 1: So that's kind of my like little silver lining learning
Speaker 1: from that. It's like, if you are just feeling overwhelmed
Speaker 1: and stressed, talk to someone, tell someone. I mean, it's obvious,
Speaker 1: but sometimes you just need that little bit of a nudge.
Speaker 1: And hopefully I can be that much for you, and
Speaker 1: you can laugh at the fact that I had to
Speaker 1: do it not once but twice.
Speaker 3: Oh, that's a really nice reminder. Yeah, and also helps
Speaker 3: to laugh, it does. Yeah, And as soon as you
Speaker 3: start talking people around you will help you laugh and
Speaker 3: see the funny side, even when there is in a
Speaker 3: funny side.
Speaker 4: You make one. Yeah, you like the fact that you
Speaker 4: had to do it twice in a few days.
Speaker 1: Exactly exactly over to the peak though, Oh god, it's
Speaker 1: a cute one. So Rue started ballet, Oh.
Speaker 4: We need to put up some content. She has the proper.
Speaker 1: Little beautiful She does shout out to Tals her gorgeous
Speaker 1: auntie who's a massive shitter Fana pot. She let us
Speaker 1: borrow ours. She's like, oh, yeah, I have like Ava's stuff.
Speaker 1: I tried it on and I was like crying, obviously
Speaker 1: put it on her crying, but not only that, it
Speaker 1: was like, you know, I put her hair back into
Speaker 1: a little ballerie like a little girl, and I said,
Speaker 1: she doesn't look like a told laugh.
Speaker 2: Oh.
Speaker 1: I did this video of her and I said, okay, darling,
Speaker 1: you excited for ballet? And she says yes, and then
Speaker 1: I'm like, okay, on your tippy toes, arms up in
Speaker 1: the air, okay, now turn around and she's just so excited.
Speaker 1: And then the other cute thing about it was like,
Speaker 1: because I'm pregnant, I get a free fucking cart, don't
Speaker 1: I so.
Speaker 3: I didn't have to parents and the Zaddy content, Yeah,
Speaker 3: Charlie was it's so sexist. I was saying this to
Speaker 3: key off air, awkward shout out Charlie listening, it's so sexist.
Speaker 3: But why is dad's dancing with their daughters the hottest
Speaker 3: fucking thing ever?
Speaker 1: Like it's so cute, Like you know, I said, after
Speaker 1: this pregnancy, Lauren, I'm like, I don't one after watch
Speaker 1: from you exactly, my overaries were like, oh yeah, can
Speaker 1: I ask because this all happened while I was away. Yeah,
Speaker 1: like her first class and I didn't even know she
Speaker 1: was doing it.
Speaker 4: Why ballet?
Speaker 3: Ballet is problematic af and I hate ballet, So why
Speaker 3: the little.
Speaker 1: Stuff is like gymnastics is the other thing I want
Speaker 1: to put around, But I know that's super problematic.
Speaker 4: For me.
Speaker 1: As a kid, I loved dancing. It was like my
Speaker 1: biggest passion and I never got to do ballet and
Speaker 1: I always wanted to. So it's a little bit of me.
Speaker 3: My sister put my niece in dance because of the
Speaker 3: exact same reason, because she was like, I always wanted
Speaker 3: to be a dancer.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Evelyn laugh did two classes.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing. I got this from my
Speaker 1: friends who have older kids. It's like each term they
Speaker 1: let their kids choose like an activity.
Speaker 3: To get them involved in something, yeah, figure out what
Speaker 3: they like and also exactly makes it way more for
Speaker 3: when people say that their kids are doing like ten
Speaker 3: different activities. I'm like, firstly, how do you have the
Speaker 3: time you can afford that?
Speaker 1: I know, And it's like I think, al, we still
Speaker 1: don't know how much it's costless. Lady is not writing
Speaker 1: back to me, and I just keep showing up two
Speaker 1: classes and I'm like, I will pay, but like, yeah,
Speaker 1: tell me what to do. I think it's like, well,
Speaker 1: I think it's a you sign up for a term.
Speaker 1: So most activity is like two hundred and fifty dollars
Speaker 1: a term, which is not cheap. But that's why I'm
Speaker 1: okay with her doing one. But at the end of it,
Speaker 1: I'll be like, hey, do you want to do ballet again,
Speaker 1: or do we want to try gymnastics or whatever, And
Speaker 1: then my god, you could join Nny's Little Kids team
Speaker 1: exactly exactly, and I will have her do something like
Speaker 1: that for sure. It was just like every Saturday we'll
Speaker 1: be walking down like the main street in our suburb
Speaker 1: and all these little baby ballerinas will be running around,
Speaker 1: and Charlie and I were just like, I mean, it's
Speaker 1: within walking distance as well. But also we like selfishly
Speaker 1: wanted a bit more structure to our weekends.
Speaker 4: Like we're just not selfish. I can't relate.
Speaker 1: We're not big planners. We kind of go with the
Speaker 1: flow and we're always like, oh shit, the weekends kind
Speaker 1: of got away from us. So we thought having like
Speaker 1: an activity that our kind of saturday's built around as well.
Speaker 1: Has been really nice for us.
Speaker 4: That is so cute though. Yeah, it was.
Speaker 1: Really nice just seeing her like walk in and be
Speaker 1: really nervous.
Speaker 4: It's also just so nue that you both take her.
Speaker 1: I know, well it's just mums that take them, like,
Speaker 1: but Charlie and I had it's like so go dependent.
Speaker 1: We do everything together. I don't know if it's a
Speaker 1: good or bad thing.
Speaker 4: Anyway, I feel like it's got its pros and cons.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, we just love doing stuff together, especially with her.
Speaker 4: Whereas I have not gone to Little Kickers once.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but that's all right, don't you.
Speaker 3: No, No, I said to Luke, I will not be going.
Speaker 3: I don't enjoy it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to see him do it just once.
Speaker 4: I see him kick the ball all the time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I know. But what I really liked was like
Speaker 1: seeing her come in, like assessing everything, like looking at
Speaker 1: the other girls, like meeting Miss Molly and like and
Speaker 1: just seeing her interact in a space, like I know
Speaker 1: that she's a really kind kid, but like Miss Molly's like,
Speaker 1: can you.
Speaker 4: Pick up the little because.
Speaker 1: I have these little dots on the ground that like
Speaker 1: make them stand in one place kind of thing to
Speaker 1: listen to her and then Rue like picks them all
Speaker 1: up for Miss Molly and gives them to her. And
Speaker 1: then by the end of the first class, she'd kind
Speaker 1: of found her feet a little bit, she was a
Speaker 1: bit more comfortable. So then she really started to like
Speaker 1: open up and get into the dance class.
Speaker 4: So she loves to dance.
Speaker 1: She loves to dance. So I just love seeing her
Speaker 1: in like a new environment of finding her confidence and
Speaker 1: then just like loving it, like that's a bit I
Speaker 1: really enjoy.
Speaker 4: And then on we best thing when you see them, Yeah,
Speaker 4: loving something so much.
Speaker 1: And Miss Molly did comment that she has quite good rhythm,
Speaker 1: and I was like, oh, that's definitely from me. I'm
Speaker 1: a dune.
Speaker 4: So you said, you've said Charlie has good rhythm too.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but he doesn't have like ballet rhythm like on time, Like.
Speaker 3: That's me, I reckon, I'd probably have ballet rhythm.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Should we move on to the topic for today, yes? Please.
Speaker 1: So I have fired my obstetrician and I have also
Speaker 1: fired my dula. Wait wait what Yeah, I didn't know
Speaker 1: about the duela. Oh yeah, double whammy. I'm no longer
Speaker 1: going to deliver my baby privately.
Speaker 3: Oh she's joining us on the public side. I am
Speaker 3: a welcome, thank you so much. It's a lot cheaper.
Speaker 1: It is a lot cheaper, although I have hired a
Speaker 1: private midwife oh okay, which in New South Wales it
Speaker 1: is pretty much the cost of an obstetrician animated seven
Speaker 1: but you get about maybe fifteen hundred back from Medicare.
Speaker 1: Maybe maybe it like varies based on how much money
Speaker 1: you're spent.
Speaker 3: With many that just absolutely blows my mind and will
Speaker 3: for anyone else that birthed publicly. Yes, not one dollar.
Speaker 3: Oh sorry, I lie. There was two tests that I
Speaker 3: paid to take.
Speaker 1: To Patrea tests and to be fair, like after I
Speaker 1: have my little incident impacted. When I did that, it
Speaker 1: was like a bit of a because I was in
Speaker 1: a bit of a weird spot with my obstetrician. She
Speaker 1: was trying to make me deliver in a different public hospital.
Speaker 4: Well, explain why you fired your.
Speaker 1: Obs Okay, yeah, I should probably start.
Speaker 4: I'm going to get real comfy for this.
Speaker 1: I mean, as with a lot of people like you
Speaker 1: either go private or public right, and I think you're
Speaker 1: mainly influenced by what you.
Speaker 4: Can afford and what your health cover is and what
Speaker 4: your friends have.
Speaker 1: Done exactly, and ninety nine percent of my girlfriends went
Speaker 1: private and I did two FARU. But we've also been
Speaker 1: paying for like gold hospital cover oh my three years.
Speaker 1: So you know, you get pregnant again and you're like, well,
Speaker 1: we're fucking using. We've been paying like you know, something crazy.
Speaker 3: I've got brons and always winged about not getting anything back.
Speaker 1: Well, with this pregnancy, I just found myself at like
Speaker 1: a real crossroad. So before we left to go to Europe,
Speaker 1: we had our last meeting with the obstetrician, who we.
Speaker 4: Need to clarify Key was obsessed with, well.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is what happened, right. So my original obstetrician
Speaker 1: I really loved. I called her up when I got
Speaker 1: pregnant with this baby and I was like, hey, Sue,
Speaker 1: I'm back, and she was like, sorry, I'm not actually
Speaker 1: doing obstetrics anymore. And I couldn't even be mad at
Speaker 1: her because she's like helping her cancer patients, like she's
Speaker 1: the saying, really, can't be mad, no, No. I was like, okay, well,
Speaker 1: you're doing God's work. So I said, hey, can you
Speaker 1: give me a couple of recos? She gave me a
Speaker 1: guy and a girl, I prefer to go to a
Speaker 1: female for guyiny obsetrics, that kind of thing. So I
Speaker 1: went with this obstetrician. She's also a woman of color.
Speaker 1: Like I know that wouldn't mean anything to anyone else,
Speaker 1: but I did quite like the idea of it not
Speaker 1: being like a white doctor.
Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's just.
Speaker 1: Just like something a little bit different. And I called
Speaker 1: and booked in with her, and she was really lovely.
Speaker 1: And this is the thing. She isn't a bad person,
Speaker 1: but what I came to realize is that she is
Speaker 1: a trained surgeon. Yes, So with this doctor, I wanted
Speaker 1: to deliver at the same hospital. When I went in,
Speaker 1: I said, are you okay with me doing.
Speaker 4: A v back, because let's do a TLDR of your
Speaker 4: birth with Rue.
Speaker 1: So with Rue, I went into spontaneous labor.
Speaker 4: The plan was vaginal birth with any assistance needed.
Speaker 1: Basically yeah, I was like, I'll try and do it without,
Speaker 1: but I'm not opposed to getting it. I got everything.
Speaker 1: I started contracting bang on thirty nine weeks in Cada,
Speaker 1: in Cama, after what I thought was my water's breaking.
Speaker 1: I now know that they hadn't broken, but at that
Speaker 1: time I thought they had It was like five am.
Speaker 1: I called the hospital in private. They have lots of
Speaker 1: kind of procedures, so if your waters break, they want
Speaker 1: you to come in to check that they have broken.
Speaker 1: Oh really it.
Speaker 4: Is, and they got to send you back home if
Speaker 4: you're not. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but they were like, yeah, your waters are broken,
Speaker 1: so go home and labor. So we went home. And
Speaker 1: this was my favorite part about Rue's birth, like was
Speaker 1: laboring at home. It was so much fun. We played scrabble, weirdo.
Speaker 1: I was bouncing on the ball.
Speaker 4: It's my favorite part of birth. What do you mean
Speaker 4: were you not in pain?
Speaker 1: I was, but it was very manageable, So this is like, okay,
Speaker 1: and how far are they away? As soon as I
Speaker 1: got closer together and fired up, that was when I
Speaker 1: was like, we've got to go to the hospital. But
Speaker 1: this was like I can't remember the but you had
Speaker 1: a period of time where they weren't that intense, and
Speaker 1: they weren't because there was only half an hour where
Speaker 1: they were manageable, but they were still less than five
Speaker 1: minutes apart, and then they went to under three minutes apart. Yeah. See,
Speaker 1: I think my labor was a lot slower. I'm anticipating
Speaker 1: having a long labor with this baby too, or.
Speaker 3: You could do what my friend Camilla has done and
Speaker 3: just shoot it out.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'd love that too. I'd love any type
Speaker 1: of flavor. But yeah, we were playing scrabble. He was
Speaker 1: making me egg salad sandwiches, which was my craving for
Speaker 1: that one. We were like bouncing on the ball. Had
Speaker 1: the tens machine, Like it was just really beautiful. What
Speaker 1: does a tens machine do? It just basically gives you
Speaker 1: like little electric shocks that.
Speaker 4: Kind of like is that that you get from a trampoline.
Speaker 1: Kind of and you can intensify it or lower it
Speaker 1: based on like where you are, and like does it
Speaker 1: hell labor, Yeah, it does. It just kind of like
Speaker 1: takes your mind off it. It helps you a certain extent.
Speaker 4: Anyway, I wonder if we should get one for needles, Yeah,
Speaker 4: you could try it, or even.
Speaker 1: Like a hand con. You know a lot of people
Speaker 1: do that and labor.
Speaker 4: I bite my hand generally when I'm getting a needle,
Speaker 4: but that doesn't we.
Speaker 1: Could probably not let you bite your hand and get
Speaker 1: you maybe just a hand comb that you can just
Speaker 1: push into your palm. Let's look into that first, So
Speaker 1: about nine pm, I'm like, whoof all day? I reckon,
Speaker 1: we're ready to go here. So we go in and yeah,
Speaker 1: it was like three centimeters. At this point, I was
Speaker 1: like fuck the hypno birthding told me not to ask
Speaker 1: how well it was progressive. Yeah, They're like, you don't
Speaker 1: want to know, like kind of thing, because if you
Speaker 1: someone says three centimeters, you're like, I've got to get
Speaker 1: to ten.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're going, well, how long you can actually go
Speaker 3: from three to ten very quickly?
Speaker 1: You can, And that what I've learned since then is
Speaker 1: like how much of dilator is not necessarily like indicative
Speaker 1: of like how far through labor you are progressing. You
Speaker 1: can be more progressed than you are dilated anyway. So
Speaker 1: they're like, would you want to go back home? And
Speaker 1: I was like, well, yeah, I'm not going to like
Speaker 1: check in now. But they were like, okay, well, because
Speaker 1: your waters are broken this morning, like if you aren't progressing,
Speaker 1: we have to induce you after twenty four hours because
Speaker 1: that's a procedure for risk of infection. YadA, YadA, dada.
Speaker 1: Went home. I lasted until midnight and I was like,
Speaker 1: I need fucking something. So we went back in had
Speaker 1: the morphine, and then the next day was like intervention
Speaker 1: after intervention, so it was like I was on the
Speaker 1: trips to induce me. I had then said, well, I
Speaker 1: need the epidural then, because this is incredible pain. Mid afternoon,
Speaker 1: my midwife realized that my waters hadn't broken.
Speaker 4: Did no one check? I thought they did.
Speaker 1: They did at the start, but not properly. They just
Speaker 1: checked the fluid and my undies to make sure that
Speaker 1: it was clear basically and not something bad. And I'm like,
Speaker 1: I wish someone had have checked me because they were
Speaker 1: starting interventions that were causing me to be in labor
Speaker 1: but not having my waters broken. They were kind of
Speaker 1: like working against each other in a way, like my
Speaker 1: midwife has said since then, like if you were going
Speaker 1: to give you one intervention, we want to give it
Speaker 1: all to you. So everything's kind of working together. So
Speaker 1: that midwife then broke my waters, and then.
Speaker 4: My smell I don't remember at all. I just like
Speaker 4: poo because Lenny had shit.
Speaker 1: In the Actually there was a little bit of poo
Speaker 1: in there. They weren't concerned, though Charlie reminded me of
Speaker 1: that the other day anyway, So I'm like exhausted by
Speaker 1: this time. It ends up being like the obstruction comes
Speaker 1: in and she's like, hey, you're doing really well, but
Speaker 1: it's been a while.
Speaker 4: Now how many hours at that point since it's been
Speaker 4: like gone out a contraction.
Speaker 1: It was like thirty five hours maybe, And she was like,
Speaker 1: let's go for a few more hours, but then I'm
Speaker 1: gonna come back and we're gonna have to have a conversation.
Speaker 1: And I was like, okay, she's gonna say let's have
Speaker 1: a sea section. So the epidural just I felt like
Speaker 1: it was not working. I could feel fucking everything and
Speaker 1: I couldn't move, and I was just like, this is
Speaker 1: so shit. By the time she came back and she
Speaker 1: raised the sea section, I was like, yeah, and I.
Speaker 4: Was feeling I didn't realize you still got a choice,
Speaker 4: though you always have a choice.
Speaker 1: Yeah, But she came back and said, this is what
Speaker 1: I think we should do. And by this time.
Speaker 4: It wasn't like we're racing you in type thing.
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 1: I mean it's called an emergency success because it wasn't planned.
Speaker 1: But yeah, Ru's heart rate was always stable. It was
Speaker 1: very chilled. That's why I don't have a lot of
Speaker 1: trauma or any trauma at all around Ruy's birth, because
Speaker 1: I felt like I was really in control, yeah, the
Speaker 1: whole time, and I felt like I had a lot
Speaker 1: of say, I had all of the same what was
Speaker 1: going on after the fact. I know more about birthing now,
Speaker 1: and I know that basically I kind of timed out
Speaker 1: of the hospital that and she had also turned prosteria,
Speaker 1: which isn't really an issue, like a lot of my
Speaker 1: girlfriends have delivered prosteria babies, but she was flexed, so
Speaker 1: her head was also up, which meant that like the
Speaker 1: widest part of her head was trying to come out
Speaker 1: so help help melt. So that wasn't really gonna work.
Speaker 1: So I had also kind of by this time, felt like,
Speaker 1: oh God, like I have just put her through all
Speaker 1: of this, I've had all of these drugs and my
Speaker 1: being selfish. That was kind of going through my head.
Speaker 1: So I was just like, I just want to meet
Speaker 1: my baby. Of course, So we had the sea section,
Speaker 1: and look it was. I have listened to so many
Speaker 1: birth stories recently, and so many of the sea sections
Speaker 1: sound so impersonal. Mine was beautiful, Like mine was so nice.
Speaker 1: I had an amazing like Kiwi anetheist who came in,
Speaker 1: who took one look at my fucking epidural and was like,
Speaker 1: what the fuck is this guy done. It's like, oh,
Speaker 1: these young kids, I do these like new and improved versions.
Speaker 1: And in my head, all I was saying to myself
Speaker 1: was like I fucking knew that it was working. Yes,
Speaker 1: I could feel everything, no wonder, I was exhausted, like anyway.
Speaker 1: I was just like relieved to have that validation. And
Speaker 1: he like suited me up and he was just like,
Speaker 1: I'm gonna put some music on. He just had like
Speaker 1: the most beautiful music. Everyone introduced themselves to me, like
Speaker 1: no one was having conversations over me. It was all
Speaker 1: to me. It was like such a beautiful experience. Like
Speaker 1: I didn't once feel bad, and I was just like, whoa,
Speaker 1: this is what having a society shaking. No, I wasn't
Speaker 1: shaking until after she was born. That was when I
Speaker 1: got shaky and that had her on my chest and
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, could you take her off because
Speaker 1: I'm just like really shaky and I'm scared. I'm gonna like, yeah,
Speaker 1: shake her off, shack her up.
Speaker 4: But I just really enjoyed to cry. She did, right, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 4: she very really.
Speaker 1: There's a massive screen, so I could see her the
Speaker 1: whole time, like when they went over and when Charlie
Speaker 1: cut the cord and stuff, and.
Speaker 4: Oh you can see her getting cut out.
Speaker 1: No, no, not cut out. Sorry, they take because they
Speaker 1: take them away to the little to do the check
Speaker 1: and so there's a big screen so you can see everything. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I could see everything, which I think that's a massive
Speaker 1: difference because a lot of people are like, where's my baby,
Speaker 1: Like they can't see. But I think that now knowing
Speaker 1: my hospital has like the highest rate of cesareans, I
Speaker 1: think that they have really made their process quite personal.
Speaker 4: So that was a prefer Yeah.
Speaker 3: Now go into what you now know, shouldn't or you
Speaker 3: would have wished it would have happened differently. And why because, like,
Speaker 3: let's be honest, paid doctors, Yeah, obstecricians would.
Speaker 4: Rather you have a C section. Well, this is the
Speaker 4: works with them with their schedules much better.
Speaker 1: Exactly it does. But after I had rue, I then
Speaker 1: was floating with the idea of having a v back
Speaker 1: and I was speaking to my girlfriend Rosie, who's had
Speaker 1: two v backs after a cesarean, and she was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you should join the v back Australia support group and
Speaker 1: she's like, I know, I know, like it sounds funny,
Speaker 1: but like, honestly, it's so helpful. And what I realized
Speaker 1: in that group was when I was researching like V
Speaker 1: back positive obstetricians, like in Sydney's East, my original obstetric
Speaker 1: came up a lot, but what I realized is that
Speaker 1: this new obstetrician wasn't like so my original one right,
Speaker 1: this other one was young and super risk averse. So
Speaker 1: when I brought up the idea of a V back,
Speaker 1: she said, yeah, that's fine. But then I think, when
Speaker 1: you should deliver in this public hospital, which is like
Speaker 1: really far away from where I live, but that's where
Speaker 1: she works out us So she works out of the
Speaker 1: hospital is RPA in Newtown.
Speaker 4: I mean it's not really far.
Speaker 1: I don't want to be that far away. I'd rather
Speaker 1: if I'm going to go public, I just do Ranwick.
Speaker 1: But she said to me, but it's ultimately your choice.
Speaker 3: I thought she told you no, she wouldn't do a vback,
Speaker 3: or that she really didn't want.
Speaker 1: To no, So this is what happened. She said, yeah,
Speaker 1: we can do a vback. She's like, you know, we
Speaker 1: are worried about risk of your tear.
Speaker 3: Is that what it is? Because I don't even know
Speaker 3: what they are, but like, hell.
Speaker 1: There's so long between my pregnancies, Like they advise eighteen
Speaker 1: months for a starter. Heel, you're gonna have a good
Speaker 1: or a bad scar, right, My scar's fine and the
Speaker 1: risk is like one percent one percent? Yes, that can
Speaker 1: be true. But anyway, so she says to me, but
Speaker 1: I'd like you to consider birthing an RPA because it'll
Speaker 1: be a lot safer. Just because your old hospital doesn't
Speaker 1: have a twenty for our theater. So if you, you know,
Speaker 1: if your scar does burst, then we want to get
Speaker 1: you into theater as quickly as possible. Yes, I understand that,
Speaker 1: but she said, you know, it's your decision, and I'm like, okay, cool.
Speaker 1: So that was like the first kind of meeting with her,
Speaker 1: and it was all lovely.
Speaker 3: And I just need to interject because I never wanted
Speaker 3: to obviously push my thoughts. Key, but I don't even
Speaker 3: know if I said anything to you, but I was
Speaker 3: like in my head.
Speaker 4: I really hope she feedbacks. I really hope she feedbacks.
Speaker 3: Yeah, only because like I obviously don't care what you do. Yeah, whatever,
Speaker 3: just get the baby out safely. But if I was
Speaker 3: to have another baby, would love to be back. I'm
Speaker 3: so jealous of women that get to both professionally because
Speaker 3: I just think.
Speaker 4: I fucking pushed a baby out. Like I remember, you
Speaker 4: know the influence of Tammy Himbrow.
Speaker 3: Yeah, she had a feedback oh for her latest kid, Yeah,
Speaker 3: not long after, and I watched it when Lenny was
Speaker 3: still really little. Yeah, on YouTube. I will link it
Speaker 3: in the show notes because I have watched it. I'd
Speaker 3: probably three times and it makes me sob every time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I think what it is writers is like
Speaker 1: you put so much trust in the medical system, especially
Speaker 1: as a first time mum, that you don't realize that
Speaker 1: you're going into a system that has policies that are
Speaker 1: built on statistics, Like it's not personalized care based on
Speaker 1: your it's.
Speaker 3: Also policies dictated by shifts and yeah hours and.
Speaker 1: Wanting to obviously cover themselves in case of incident and
Speaker 1: things like that, like insurance companies are basically putting these
Speaker 1: policies to get the fine. But when I left the obstetrician,
Speaker 1: I then relayed, like the meeting to my Duela. When
Speaker 1: I met with her my now ex duller, and.
Speaker 3: We talked about in another episode that you sort of
Speaker 3: said to Charlie, hey, I don't have a mother figure
Speaker 3: anymore around hell do you think?
Speaker 1: And he was like great, he was so into it.
Speaker 1: So we grabbed her. But when we were in Europe
Speaker 1: we kind of like opened up to each other that like,
Speaker 1: maybe she's so lovely and honestly, the questions that she
Speaker 1: told us to ask the obstetrician were like instrumental on
Speaker 1: us really finding a whole new team for our birth,
Speaker 1: but we just didn't click, and we were.
Speaker 4: Trying to make it probably really understand.
Speaker 1: That, yeah, totally. So I met with a Duela and
Speaker 1: she asked me a few questions and she said, okay,
Speaker 1: well on your next one, I just want you to
Speaker 1: ask your obstetrician a few questions so we can figure
Speaker 1: out how v back positive she is or pro v
Speaker 1: back she is. And the question she told me to
Speaker 1: ask were around the statistics of her vback clients that
Speaker 1: have successful vbacks and the percentage that she would give
Speaker 1: me in having a successful vback, and also because water
Speaker 1: for me in this birth is going to be such
Speaker 1: a big part of it, and statistically with v backs
Speaker 1: water is so helpful. She was like, some hospitals don't
Speaker 1: let v back patients go into water because they want
Speaker 1: to have you monitored the whole time, because they want
Speaker 1: to make sure that the baby's heart rate isn't dropping,
Speaker 1: because that's an indication that perhaps your scar has ruptured.
Speaker 4: I feel like you feel it.
Speaker 1: I went into my obs atrician and like, this is
Speaker 1: a few days before we live for a europe Right
Speaker 1: at this stage, I'm like twenty ten, eight nine to
Speaker 1: eighteen weeks pregnant or something like that. I say to her, so,
Speaker 1: percentage of your patients that have successfully v back? She
Speaker 1: said that that's too difficult to give you because everyone
Speaker 1: has different medical histories and I can't give you that.
Speaker 4: That's not the answer exactly.
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, well, what percentage would you give
Speaker 1: me understanding like my birth with ruin everything. And she's like, well,
Speaker 1: because she was prosterior and it wasn't because her heart
Speaker 1: rate dropped that you had to have emergency sees. It
Speaker 1: was because you didn't dilate. I think we'd give you
Speaker 1: a twenty percent chance. And I was like twenty percent,
Speaker 1: Like I was just like fuck, like that really sucks,
Speaker 1: Like that really sucks. I'm really upset about that, like,
Speaker 1: doesn't even think I can do it. And then I
Speaker 1: said to her, Okay, well, water is really important, Like
Speaker 1: what are the policies around now, and she's like, yeah,
Speaker 1: you can't be in the water because we need to
Speaker 1: have you connected to a CTG the whole time to
Speaker 1: monitor to make sure that you aren't having like an abruption.
Speaker 1: And I said to her, Okay, well, what about like
Speaker 1: me trying to negotiate right, what about like if we
Speaker 1: did monitoring on the hour. And she's like, no, you
Speaker 1: need to be monitored the whole time. And then she
Speaker 1: said okay, so what have you just about the hospital
Speaker 1: And I said, okay, well, we've actually made the decision.
Speaker 1: We've considered everything. We feel comfortable remaining at the private
Speaker 1: hospital for the birth. We feel like that's a comfortable
Speaker 1: risk that we're willing to take. And she said, okay,
Speaker 1: well let's just book RPA just in case. So I
Speaker 1: walked away from that being like.
Speaker 4: You must be so defeated. I actually remember talking to you.
Speaker 4: Were so upset because you're like, she doesn't believe you
Speaker 4: can do it. First, Yeah, she said no to.
Speaker 3: Everything that you want, and you know what you're doing
Speaker 3: this time around, you have control.
Speaker 4: I always thought I.
Speaker 1: Could do it, Like I had this belief going to
Speaker 1: birth that I could do it. I came from a
Speaker 1: really good space of like not having any trauma about
Speaker 1: Ruse birth and also being like, if I do have
Speaker 1: a cesarean, another cesarean, I will be fine with you.
Speaker 4: I'm so fine with that.
Speaker 1: But what I will be upset about is if I
Speaker 1: have another cesarean staying with this obstetrician because I know
Speaker 1: that she is not like believing that I can do.
Speaker 4: It, and she will at the first chance, go.
Speaker 1: Let's just cut the baby exactly, get the baby, Let's
Speaker 1: just get it out.
Speaker 4: You also really think it's important.
Speaker 1: To labor, yes, So that's another thing. Like with rue
Speaker 1: I never had to have an argument about that because
Speaker 1: she came at thirty nine weeks, so she came early. Well,
Speaker 1: my water's kind of broken, the contracted started contracting, so
Speaker 1: that was fine, But like, if this baby goes over,
Speaker 1: like I want to go into spontaneous labor, and I
Speaker 1: want to labor for as long as I can, just
Speaker 1: because I feel like it wakes the baby up and
Speaker 1: your body being like yep, baby's ready now, rather than
Speaker 1: totally the baby.
Speaker 3: People that do choose to though my friends did for
Speaker 3: medical reasons or like one of my girlfriends did for
Speaker 3: mental health reasons.
Speaker 4: She was like, I don't. I can't have the not
Speaker 4: knowing time.
Speaker 1: And this is the thing if each meant to a
Speaker 1: scan tomorrow and they're like, we have to take the
Speaker 1: baby out of course, like yes, no judgment that this
Speaker 1: is like it's your sky plan, like if everything goes
Speaker 1: to place, it's your birth. Yeah, And I just thought like, oh,
Speaker 1: this is that going to be a fight that I'm
Speaker 1: going to have to have. Should we go over like
Speaker 1: forty weeks anyway, we go to Europe. Charlie was at
Speaker 1: that appointment with me, so he and I just walked
Speaker 1: away from being like oh my god. And it took
Speaker 1: me a couple of weeks into the holiday to kind
Speaker 1: of figure out what I was going to do or
Speaker 1: like have that conversation with Charlie like do you think
Speaker 1: maybe we need it, like get a different obstetrician And
Speaker 1: he's like, well, yeah, maybe, like but I just don't
Speaker 1: know where we'd begin with that someone that's pro v back.
Speaker 1: And I was like, why don't I just like put
Speaker 1: this into the v back Australia group and see what
Speaker 1: they say. So I just wrote this post that basically
Speaker 1: just said, hey guys, I've just had this meeting with
Speaker 1: my obstetrician. This is what she said, this is what
Speaker 1: happened in my original birth. I don't even know what
Speaker 1: I'm asking right now. I'm just kind of like at
Speaker 1: a real crossroads, and its like is it ever too
Speaker 1: late to change a birthing team? And I signed it
Speaker 1: off something like defeated like second time mom to be
Speaker 1: or whatever?
Speaker 4: Do you defeated second time birabad mold.
Speaker 1: Literally all of the responses were so beautiful, so considered,
Speaker 1: and what I really liked about it I actually did
Speaker 1: say in my message is like, has anyone v backed
Speaker 1: at this hospital, like this private hospital that I was
Speaker 1: booked into. All these people wrote back and they were
Speaker 1: so nice, and someone was like, it is never too
Speaker 1: late to create like your dream, you know, birth team.
Speaker 1: And then I had like three women right in and
Speaker 1: say basically confirming that I don't want to say that
Speaker 1: the obstecration had lied, but that she hadn't been super
Speaker 1: truthful in saying that basically she never mentioned that there
Speaker 1: are waterproof ctgs, and three of the women in the
Speaker 1: group had actually had v backs at that hospital and
Speaker 1: said that the midwives encourage you to get into the
Speaker 1: water because it helps with the birth. So there were
Speaker 1: just all these things and the fact that she wanted
Speaker 1: me to go public and she's like, yes, understood, but
Speaker 1: that's probably because that's where she works out of and
Speaker 1: that's where she feels most comfortable. She probably lives closer
Speaker 1: to that hospital, like that's what they were kind of
Speaker 1: saying to me. And I'm like, yeah, this all is
Speaker 1: kind of making sense now. It's like you don't want
Speaker 1: to think those things, but.
Speaker 4: When you really validating. Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I came from having an amazing experience with my
Speaker 1: obstetrician who was really hands off and was stopping honestly,
Speaker 1: to someone who was like basically trying to control everything.
Speaker 1: And I think would have been really happy if I
Speaker 1: had had a scheduled cesario, you know. And the thing
Speaker 1: that stuck out to me it's like, it's never too
Speaker 1: late to change. And I was like, Okay, it's never
Speaker 1: too late to change. So I got back and I
Speaker 1: had that experience at the Royal Women's Hospital, the public
Speaker 1: I had to go in there for the obstructed bow,
Speaker 1: and they actually put me like in the delivery suite
Speaker 1: and then they put me into the anti enador ward
Speaker 1: and I started to kind of talk to the obstetricians,
Speaker 1: and like this obstetrician came up a lot who came
Speaker 1: up a lot in the Facebook group as well, and
Speaker 1: I don't know, I kind of started thinking like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe I could go public, Like this just seems like
Speaker 1: in the public system they are more pro vaginal birth.
Speaker 4: Midwives hate intervention. Yeah.
Speaker 3: My midwife was like, I made fun of home birth
Speaker 3: is and she goes no, and she like shut me down.
Speaker 3: She was like, actually, there are plenty of studies for
Speaker 3: home birth if you wanted to, I totally open to
Speaker 3: you doing that. And she like was very against induction.
Speaker 1: She yes, yeah, And look, all of those things exist
Speaker 1: for a reason, and there are so many birth stories
Speaker 1: in which those interventions are used and the correct way,
Speaker 1: of course, but there are so many traumatic stories where
Speaker 1: those interventions are misused, like inducing someone and turning the
Speaker 1: fucking induction up super high. It's when we don't use
Speaker 1: those interventions in a way in which they're intended, and
Speaker 1: you're on someoney oh, you didn't need them or you
Speaker 1: didn't need them exactly. So I was kind of like
Speaker 1: talking to Charlie, and Charlie doesn't love to waste money,
Speaker 1: so he's.
Speaker 4: Like, I don't know, like I don't know anyone that
Speaker 4: doesn't really. He's like, well, my toddler, Yeah, you like
Speaker 4: to waste money.
Speaker 1: He was like, we've been paying for this insurance, so
Speaker 1: do you think like that's the way to go blah
Speaker 1: blah blah blah. And I was like, I don't know,
Speaker 1: but like I'm feeling pretty defeated about this whole process.
Speaker 1: And so then I spent kind of one day because
Speaker 1: the v back group has been going for years and
Speaker 1: there's always recommendations going in, so I kind of researched
Speaker 1: in the group like pro v back Obstetrician Sydney East,
Speaker 1: and then a lot of people had written back to
Speaker 1: me in that thread saying private midwives, and I was like,
Speaker 1: so basically I ended up I couldn't find a female
Speaker 1: one in the v back group who'd been recommended other
Speaker 1: than my previous obstrican who's obviously no longer working in obstetrics.
Speaker 1: But I was speaking to Beck, my girlfriend, and she's like,
Speaker 1: I really love my obstetrician, why don't you book him
Speaker 1: with her? So I was like just a starter, I
Speaker 1: booked and with her for a week's time. And then
Speaker 1: I thought, oh, maybe I'll expoil this private midwife thing.
Speaker 4: Just to likely public midwives.
Speaker 1: Well, this is the thing I couldn't get into the
Speaker 1: movie with free group program, which means that you are
Speaker 1: kind of like guaranteed one of the midwives. Because they
Speaker 1: say about vbacks is continuity of care is really important,
Speaker 1: So having someone that you has seen you the whole
Speaker 1: way through is really important. So I knew that it
Speaker 1: was way too late for me to get into the
Speaker 1: MGP program.
Speaker 4: I wasn't in the program, but saw the same midwife
Speaker 4: yes of the time.
Speaker 1: Which is awesome, and like I just knew the statistics
Speaker 1: around it, and I was like, no, I want to
Speaker 1: have that private care or you can get your own midwife.
Speaker 1: And I was kind of okay, And so I was
Speaker 1: looking up stuff in the group and writing down names
Speaker 1: of the different midwives that kind of came up in
Speaker 1: my area and then like, really weirdly, the Frandro's Kitchen
Speaker 1: chick who so she created the lactation cookies like super
Speaker 1: popular and I, I don't know, I never ate them. Okay,
Speaker 1: so tbd, but yes, I think so it's just like
Speaker 1: eating things that increase milks apart, okay, and yummy cookie,
Speaker 1: I assume yeah, And I follow her and I saw
Speaker 1: that she had a private midwife and it was the
Speaker 1: chick who one of the names had come up, and
Speaker 1: this was also of the ones that I had found
Speaker 1: in this group.
Speaker 4: She was the vibe.
Speaker 1: She was like a little bit older that maternal vibe. No, no,
Speaker 1: not earth mother, because this is what I was like,
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 4: I didn't want to woo woo. I didn't want to
Speaker 4: woo woo less patruly more like penicillin.
Speaker 1: Yes, love that.
Speaker 4: And she was like not for me.
Speaker 1: E LOGI, yeah, definitely not for you. I don't know
Speaker 1: this chick, but this is a good sign. I'll take
Speaker 1: any sign I can get right now anyway, So I
Speaker 1: emailed her and she's like, oh, actually I can't be
Speaker 1: available for birth because someone in her family's are getting married.
Speaker 1: But I've got this girl called Emma who's on my team,
Speaker 1: and she is really like open to doing vback support.
Speaker 1: I'll put you in touch with it. I had this
Speaker 1: call with Emma and oh my god, it was like
Speaker 1: night and day just talking to her, like being heard.
Speaker 1: She asked me about my birth with Rue, and she
Speaker 1: was like, you went into spontaneous labor, you contracted on
Speaker 1: your own, and you dilated, like you're a perfect candidate
Speaker 1: for a feedback. She's like, from what I can gather
Speaker 1: about your birth, you just timed out of the hospital.
Speaker 1: And she's like, I wouldn't be worried if this new
Speaker 1: baby is posterior because we can, you know, do some
Speaker 1: spinning baby stuff and get them in the right position.
Speaker 3: And midwives don't mind if you're in labor for a
Speaker 3: long time. Do they know if they're private, like if
Speaker 3: they're not going to time out of the hospital?
Speaker 1: Ye, exactly. And the good thing about having the private
Speaker 1: midwife is that we can labor for as long as
Speaker 1: we want to at home and really know when the
Speaker 1: right time is to go into the hospital. And the
Speaker 1: other thing I loved about Emma she has just gone
Speaker 1: into private midwif free, so she does homebirths and she
Speaker 1: does like midwife support. So basically you can have a
Speaker 1: private midwife who manages your care kind of like a
Speaker 1: private obstetrician would. But then you're booked in to deliver
Speaker 1: at the hospital, and they just become a support person
Speaker 1: on the day in the room. So Charlie will be there,
Speaker 1: and she'll be there. Lucy's also coming to the to
Speaker 1: the birth.
Speaker 3: I was literally just gonna ask that because I was like,
Speaker 3: oh my god, Lucy can film it.
Speaker 1: I really wanted like footage of the birth.
Speaker 4: She takes beautiful pictures and videos.
Speaker 1: Why not have like your best friend there rather than
Speaker 1: like a birthing photographer or whatever. So yeah, I asked
Speaker 1: her a few weeks ago, and yeah, it was really cute.
Speaker 4: Did you cry? Yeah, I'm actually so jealous.
Speaker 1: I cried too. I was like, I didn't realize it
Speaker 1: was going to be so emotional as to.
Speaker 4: Watch someone give birth.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, if anyone wants me to come and watch,
Speaker 3: please let me.
Speaker 4: I promise I'll be a good cheerleader.
Speaker 3: You would be good cheerleader also scold naughty nurses, Yeah,
Speaker 3: you would.
Speaker 4: No, I put it in and I have a fear
Speaker 4: of authority.
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, but you'd like draw a curtain with like authority,
Speaker 1: like yeah, yeah, yeah exactly, you know, give them a sign,
Speaker 1: you know, it's my I love to watch someone. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it would be cool the way Lucy said, it's like
Speaker 1: you've invited me like to the most private me your baby,
Speaker 1: like to be one of the first people that get
Speaker 1: to meet your baby. And I was like, I do
Speaker 1: not think about it.
Speaker 4: But you were like, but also take lots of cuprotoes, yes,
Speaker 4: and like don't get bad angles that don't get like
Speaker 4: my full badge.
Speaker 1: Okay, it's just tough, just like artistically yet my badge. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so she does homebirth, but she also can do like
Speaker 1: just private Midwiffree management and then be also person on
Speaker 1: the day. So it was like I was high. I
Speaker 1: was like got off the phone and I just felt
Speaker 1: like so empowered, so excited.
Speaker 4: What you want.
Speaker 1: And it was the first time, which this is really sad,
Speaker 1: but it was like the first time in the whole
Speaker 1: pregnancy that I had felt real genuine excitement because I
Speaker 1: just thought, like, this is what I was meant to do. Like,
Speaker 1: and I've listened to so many v back stories. In
Speaker 1: one of them that really stuck out to me, she
Speaker 1: said like she actually did have quite a traumatic first berth,
Speaker 1: like she had a terrible obstetrician who just was not
Speaker 1: like gave all the intervention in the world when she
Speaker 1: was like, so close she could have given birth naturally.
Speaker 1: But she's like, I don't regret that first birth because
Speaker 1: that really suited that baby. But she's like, if I
Speaker 1: hadn't had that birth, I don't know if I would
Speaker 1: have got to my v back Yep. And my son
Speaker 1: really needed that vback birth, like he really needed his
Speaker 1: more sensitive. He needed that to be was her other kids,
Speaker 1: like a firecracker doesn't like so independent whatever, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: I just thought that.
Speaker 4: Many would have needed a birth. He definitely C section
Speaker 4: did not suit that truck.
Speaker 1: No, it didn't. Emma did say to me that, like,
Speaker 1: the reason why I have such confidence in you too
Speaker 1: is because you sound really sure of yourself. But she's
Speaker 1: also like, you are also in the such good headspace
Speaker 1: of not having any trauma from me first birth and
Speaker 1: being okay if a cesarean for some reason has to
Speaker 1: be done. She's like, you're in a really good mental headspace.
Speaker 1: So she kind of just affirmed that for me, Like
Speaker 1: all the things I was thinking, it was like I
Speaker 1: just needed someone to encourage me and say like.
Speaker 4: Yeah, let's do it, that you could do it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and even if it doesn't work.
Speaker 4: I don't like that, but you're okay, you try.
Speaker 1: But I've set myself up to have the best possible
Speaker 1: experience that I can have with people who like are
Speaker 1: fucking championing me and saying like, yeah, you can do
Speaker 1: this and yeah. So just very excited about that. And
Speaker 1: also part of the private midwife, you get like a
Speaker 1: lot of I can do all of my appointments at home,
Speaker 1: so she just comes over and doestate all appointment.
Speaker 4: Does she bring the little.
Speaker 1: Yeah she does.
Speaker 4: Wait didn't you buy one?
Speaker 1: Yeah? We do have a Dopler. Look I don't not
Speaker 1: everyone should have them, no, but for us being overseas,
Speaker 1: it was really good that we had it, just because
Speaker 1: we're away for a month. And after the carriage, I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: she does really like it, except when I laugh and
Speaker 1: it goes and she was and she's like pulled my shirt.
Speaker 1: I like it, Like I don't like it either. It's
Speaker 1: kind of weird. But yeah, you have those and then
Speaker 1: you have like a lot of aftercare. They come back,
Speaker 1: they come to your house after your been discharged and
Speaker 1: do your appointments and things like that. So that was
Speaker 1: also the other thing we thought, like, Okay, there's like
Speaker 1: an element of after care here that will be helpful
Speaker 1: for us as well, because that was like the maternal
Speaker 1: part that we're really wanting to have that energy in
Speaker 1: the room with us. But then after care of like
Speaker 1: having someone come over and be like, hey, is you guys? Okay,
Speaker 1: like how's breastfeeding going? Like can I just hold like
Speaker 1: play with roof for five minutes? You know, like that
Speaker 1: kind of thing. Anyway, So yeah, I've gone from a
Speaker 1: private obstetrician birthing in a private hospital to.
Speaker 4: Be back in a public be back in a.
Speaker 1: Public with a private midwife of support, so very crazy.
Speaker 4: I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm so excited.
Speaker 4: I actually have a little bit of a surprise for you.
Speaker 3: What I actually ages ago interviewed our gorgeous shitter Romini,
Speaker 3: who had a very successful home birth feedback.
Speaker 4: Oh wow, yeah.
Speaker 3: I love that, and she actually ended up birthing the
Speaker 3: baby by herself.
Speaker 4: It is the wildest story. So strap in everyone.
Speaker 1: I love these birth stories. Okay, let's do it.
Speaker 3: I firstly just need to say congratulations because you have
Speaker 3: a teeny tiny little baby.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is Rupert and he is twelve days old today.
Speaker 4: Twelve days old.
Speaker 3: I mean, we can't thank you enough for taking the time,
Speaker 3: because I know it is your second time around, so
Speaker 3: you probably know what you're doing a little bit more
Speaker 3: so than the first time. But I just remember being
Speaker 3: twelve days postpartuman what.
Speaker 1: I can't remember it.
Speaker 3: So the fact that you are on this call right
Speaker 3: now recording with us is so amazing and so appreciated
Speaker 3: my pleasure.
Speaker 2: And if it was the first time round, there is
Speaker 2: absolutely no way that I would have been on this
Speaker 2: call either. Yeah, he's an absolute dream and like the
Speaker 2: birth was just so much better than the first time round.
Speaker 4: Could we get into that a little bit if you're comfortable.
Speaker 2: Sure.
Speaker 4: So you said that you homebirthed, Yes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I planned to homebirth because I had private
Speaker 2: midway free care, so that meant that I engaged a
Speaker 2: private midwife. I didn't really know that homebirth was a
Speaker 2: thing then. I just kind of had it in my
Speaker 2: head that it was illegal, and I don't know why.
Speaker 4: I was exactly the same.
Speaker 3: I just assumed it was like maybe illegal and also
Speaker 3: something that only the hippiest of people did, like the
Speaker 3: people that sort of do it in a lake by themselves.
Speaker 2: Yeah, on top of a mountain, yeah, meditating or something. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I also grew up rurally. So I grew up in
Speaker 2: northeast Victoria in a country town with a population of
Speaker 2: three thousand, and so you don't if I lived somewhere there,
Speaker 2: like I live in Camber now, probably wouldn't birth at
Speaker 2: home because it's yeah, forty five minutes to the next hospital,
Speaker 2: whereas I'm like six minutes from the hospital here. This
Speaker 2: is the perfect place to do a home birth.
Speaker 4: Because exactly are close if you need it.
Speaker 2: Very short trip to the hospital if everything hits the fan.
Speaker 2: There was fifteen minutes between me going I'm actually definitely
Speaker 2: going to have a baby today and him being born. Wow,
Speaker 2: it was crazy. Like five thirty am. I woke up
Speaker 2: and was like, oh, yeah, that's definitely cervix. All the
Speaker 2: other times were Braxton Hicks. This is definitely in my
Speaker 2: sense how something's happening. And I had like, yeah, different sensations. Yeah,
Speaker 2: So I did a little bit of laboring, but nothing much.
Speaker 2: Could sleep through them. Seven point thirty we were sitting
Speaker 2: up having breakfast like scrambled eggs on toast, and it
Speaker 2: was a daycare day, wasn't it. When Rupert was born,
Speaker 2: and Georgie had said in the morning we're all in
Speaker 2: bed at about six am and she I said, do
Speaker 2: you want to go to daycare and then come home
Speaker 2: and your sibling will be born? Or do you want
Speaker 2: to stay and watch? She said, no, I want to
Speaker 2: go to cottage. Okay, time to go to daycare. I
Speaker 2: think this is on. We'll come back later. Had duelers
Speaker 2: as well, so I sent a message to the dueler
Speaker 2: at eight oh one, being like, oh, yeah, I think
Speaker 2: it's on. Can you come over, knowing that they were
Speaker 2: like half an hour away, and ten past eight sent
Speaker 2: Nat and Georgie to daycare. Then he took the car.
Speaker 2: He's like, I'll be ten minutes. I'll be back, and
Speaker 2: I was like, cool, when you get back, we'll set
Speaker 2: up the birth pool. Almost as soon as he pulled
Speaker 2: out of the driveway, I started bellowing like oh real,
Speaker 2: like yuptual. And after maybe ten minutes of that, I
Speaker 2: was like on the toilet and had this realization. I thought, oh,
Speaker 2: I should call the midwife. Yep, I'd been texting her earlier,
Speaker 2: but I hadn't told her that. It kicked up a
Speaker 2: notch and then I thought, I'm going to have a
Speaker 2: baby in the toilet if I don't get off right now.
Speaker 2: And so I like waddled with my pants around my ankles,
Speaker 2: like I didn't have time to take my underwear off,
Speaker 2: my pajama pants off. I got a waterproof blanket out
Speaker 2: of the linen press, threw it down on the bed
Speaker 2: and went on hands and knees and mee. Two contractions later,
Speaker 2: Rupert's head was born. I hear Nat come in the
Speaker 2: front door, and I'm like bellowing because his head's been born.
Speaker 2: And I've got like my hand on his head, and
Speaker 2: You're literally runs down the hallway literally nobody else is here,
Speaker 2: and that runs down the hallway to Rupert's head being born,
Speaker 2: and he like puts his hands there and I'm.
Speaker 1: Like, don't touch it, he'll gruss stuff it.
Speaker 2: And he like takes his hands off me, and in
Speaker 2: the next thirty seconds there's this massive contraction and Rupert
Speaker 2: shoots out like a football and that like captures him
Speaker 2: like that all stops him.
Speaker 4: From My goodness, that is wild. You too, Literally, were
Speaker 4: you birthed your baby without anyone?
Speaker 1: You were one of those ladies in the lakes.
Speaker 2: Yeah, in a dodgy suburban house in Cabra.
Speaker 4: How did you feel were you, just like in shock
Speaker 4: for ages.
Speaker 2: I was like, thank God that didn't go on forever,
Speaker 2: Like it was kind of perfect for me because I
Speaker 2: didn't have any chance to be in my head. I
Speaker 2: just did it, and I was just like, what do
Speaker 2: I absolutely need in this moment. I need to not
Speaker 2: get stuff all over the floor, So let's get the
Speaker 2: waterproof mattress a bit out so that I'm all tidy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, don't need birth flu with everywhere hard and expensive
Speaker 3: to get out.
Speaker 2: I'd put the TENS machine on on my back, like
Speaker 2: maybe at six am, and I'd realized while I was
Speaker 2: on the toilet that it wasn't doing anything, but I
Speaker 2: didn't have the time or brain capacity to take it
Speaker 2: off or turn it off. So Nat passes rupert through
Speaker 2: my legs and I'm holding him, and then he has
Speaker 2: to take the pads off me because he was kind
Speaker 2: of all tangled up in the cables of the tens.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And when you don't turn it off before you take
Speaker 2: the pads off, it zaps you. So it was zapping
Speaker 2: Nat as he was taking me. He's getting you smiledly electrocuted. Well,
Speaker 2: he tries to take care of me. Yeah, and then
Speaker 2: we just hopped in bed, and then everybody else arrived
Speaker 2: and so it's lovely postpartum time.
Speaker 4: And then did your midwife help you birth the placenta?
Speaker 2: Yeah? Yeah, probably like an hour later. Yeah, like forty
Speaker 2: minutes to an hour later. She helped me birth the placenta.
Speaker 2: I found that really uncomfortable, Like I could feel it
Speaker 2: sitting really low down in my uterus and the contractions
Speaker 2: were still going and then really, yeah they're huge.
Speaker 4: Y did you find that experience healing.
Speaker 2: Part of that healing experiences that I did at all
Speaker 2: by myself? Yeah, you know, it's nothing more confidence building
Speaker 2: than just doing it.
Speaker 4: Literally, you can do whatever you want. You can rule
Speaker 4: the world.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can certainly raise this baby.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 1: What a story.
Speaker 3: Oh my goodness, we can't thank Rominy more because holy.
Speaker 4: Dolly, I just love her story so much. It's so incredible.
Speaker 1: Yeah, definitely, I'm just immersing myself in that whole world
Speaker 1: of like vbacks and physiological birth and just like really
Speaker 1: understanding everything. So I love hearing stories, especially like.
Speaker 4: I love birth stories.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they're so good. On that note, I did have
Speaker 1: a recommendation for this week. It is a podcast that
Speaker 1: I have been religiously listening to every day it is
Speaker 1: Australian vback Birth Stories, which is yeah, like a group
Speaker 1: of full girls. They like take turns and hosting and
Speaker 1: interviewing different people, just interviewing Australian mums who have gone
Speaker 1: on to have successful feedbacks, some privately, some in the
Speaker 1: public system, some home birth, some I don't think they
Speaker 1: have any free birthers, which a lot some of the
Speaker 1: other podcasts do, but it's a free birther.
Speaker 4: I thought that was a home birth, no medical person present. Ooh,
Speaker 4: it's a risky.
Speaker 1: It's quite risky. But do you know we actually have
Speaker 1: a really high rate of free birth because it's sometimes
Speaker 1: can be quite difficult for women to be approved or
Speaker 1: taken seriously with getting a v back, like depending on
Speaker 1: how like quote unquote traumatic their first birth was, like,
Speaker 1: there'll be so many things. Like one of the ones
Speaker 1: I was just listening to was like when they pulled
Speaker 1: the baby out of her stomach, her incision tore and
Speaker 1: it was like, basically it's a bigger scar. So their
Speaker 1: thought process was you have like a higher rate of tear,
Speaker 1: which didn't make any difference, but they were like basically
Speaker 1: laughing in her face about having a v back up
Speaker 1: until the very end she's in hospital and then an
Speaker 1: obbsctration comes in and she's like, oh my god, I
Speaker 1: can feel the head. Okay, we're gonna get you into
Speaker 1: a room to birth. Yes, crazy, but this is what
Speaker 1: women are up against, right. So that's why so many
Speaker 1: women in Australia are free birthing, which I mean is
Speaker 1: just insane. Free birth is on the poet do yes,
Speaker 1: so I Lincoln in the show notes, it's really helpful
Speaker 1: and I think even as a first time it's quite
Speaker 1: helpful to listen to people's first births to understand because
Speaker 1: you hear the growth and the mom from the first
Speaker 1: time to the second time and identifying what went wrong
Speaker 1: or what could have been different, not what went wrong,
Speaker 1: what could have been different in that first berth. So
Speaker 1: maybe you have like an idea of things to be
Speaker 1: like educated on, or.
Speaker 3: You need to go back and watch the live that
Speaker 3: we did where you did your birth story and here
Speaker 3: two and a half years later, how you describe it,
Speaker 3: how you talked about it compared to now.
Speaker 4: That would be so interesting, Yeah, it would be. We
Speaker 4: can link that in the show notes.
Speaker 3: If anyone else is interested, I will also link my recommendation,
Speaker 3: which is Tammy's vack birth video.
Speaker 1: Perfect right.
Speaker 4: Well, we will be back in your ears next week,
Speaker 4: but it will be a time show some love on
Speaker 4: socials and rate and review us.
Speaker 1: Yes please. This episode of Eat, Sleep, Shit Repeat was
Speaker 1: produced by us keyth and Kel with audio production by
Speaker 1: the gorgeous Maddie Joanna. We will all see you next week.
Speaker 1: She is by
Speaker 2: H