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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Mom and Mia out loud. It's

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Speaker 1: all I'm actually talking about. On Friday, the twentieth of

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Speaker 1: March out louders, I just want to offer you all

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Speaker 1: an enormous congratulations. You are still listening to the number

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Speaker 1: one show in Australia. We might have told you about

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Speaker 1: that on Wednesday, but we're going to tell you about

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Speaker 1: it again and again and again and again. Congratulations on

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Speaker 1: your excellent taste. Congratulations and congratulations class.

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Speaker 2: You can say, and I'll take a little bit of

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Speaker 2: credit because last time I was sort of like trying

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Speaker 2: to head but my way into the celebration. Everyone's like,

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Speaker 2: no offense, beat you won't there, you were there.

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Speaker 3: I can't take any credit because I wasn't here all affair.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, your vibes was always here, Yeah, always here. You

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Speaker 1: were on holiday, but your vibes were still here.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, Thank you anyway, alauders, I.

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Speaker 1: Have one request from the number one show in the nation.

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Speaker 1: If you love it, if you love us, wherever you're

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Speaker 1: listening to this, there'll be a little way for you

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Speaker 1: to show it. There will be a place where you

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Speaker 1: can hit five stars or leave a little review. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: saying we love our girls.

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Speaker 3: And also they're very attractive, thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: We're not really girls very attractive like the bridesmaid aging

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Speaker 1: really well, lady. Anyway, if you would like to leave

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Speaker 1: us over your five stars, we would love it. Anyway.

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Speaker 1: Who else is with me?

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Speaker 2: Well, you haven't said who you are?

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Speaker 1: Who are so sorry? I've been talking to us a

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Speaker 1: bit over excited. I'm Holly Wayne Wright.

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Speaker 2: You're also like, I need no introduction. The number one

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Speaker 2: podcast in the country.

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Speaker 1: I'm Clare and I'm M N M and on Today's Agenda.

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Speaker 2: The best selling memoir that has us asking how much

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Speaker 2: truth actually matters.

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Speaker 1: We have recommendations that include a TV show that made

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Speaker 1: Claire cry, a movie that m can't stop raving about,

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Speaker 1: and a literally eye opening beauty product from me.

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Speaker 3: And there is a substack titled the Unofficial List of

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Speaker 3: Things that men should Never do. I'm immediately obsessed, and yes,

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Speaker 3: I've created my.

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Speaker 1: Own list to add on. We're going to have a

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Speaker 1: little barney about that, I think. But first, in case

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Speaker 1: you missed it, your difficult friends are shortening your life.

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Speaker 1: I'm just leaving this here in case you need a

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Speaker 1: little nudge this weekend to cancel some plants a very

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Speaker 1: fancy scientific journal called PNAS. I do not read that

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Speaker 1: out loud.

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Speaker 2: I'm sorry that.

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Speaker 1: I didn't even realize that Proceedings of the National Academy

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Speaker 1: of Sciences PNAS, it's real, have published a study blah

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Speaker 1: blah study blah blah, but experts labor labeling your difficult

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Speaker 1: friends and family members as Hassler's is the official scientific

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Speaker 1: term for it, Hassler's and saying they're literally aging you.

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Speaker 1: A couple of lines from this study. We investigate the

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Speaker 1: role of Hassler's, say p NAS people in one's close

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Speaker 1: social networks who create problems or make life more difficult,

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Speaker 1: finding that these negative ties are not rare, disproportionately experienced

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Speaker 1: by individuals facing greater social and health vulnerabilities and consequential

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Speaker 1: for aging. So basically, they're saying they're bad for you

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Speaker 1: each additional Hassler, So every extra awkward, annoying person you

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Speaker 1: have in your life is associated with faster biological aging

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Speaker 1: with especially pronounced effects when that Hassler is a family member.

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Speaker 1: So look, you don't need to have brunch tomorrow with Betty,

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Speaker 1: who drives you crazy. She is ushering you to an

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Speaker 1: early grave and you just need to say, so's Betty,

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Speaker 1: I have to cut you off for my health. What

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Speaker 1: do we think?

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Speaker 2: I mean, there's a lot of debate, isn't there about

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Speaker 2: how we need a little bit of social friction and

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Speaker 2: social tension in order to have community.

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Speaker 1: But not if it's aging myself.

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Speaker 2: And then we're told that it's aging us. And obviously,

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Speaker 2: as the resident scientist, I went and read the entire

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Speaker 2: study and it's legit like and it is as you say, Holly,

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Speaker 2: it's not just friends, it's family members. And I thought

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Speaker 2: what was interesting They make the point in the study

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Speaker 2: that often the hasslers are the people who are closest

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Speaker 2: to you, because they're the ones that you give the

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Speaker 2: bandwidth to be annoying, Like if you had if you

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Speaker 2: had an acquaintance who was like that, you just kind

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Speaker 2: of ignore them. But it's hard when it's your mum.

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Speaker 2: So it's often these people who are really close to you.

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Speaker 2: I do like that it gives you permission.

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Speaker 1: And we've got a name. Hassler's Ye, you're a hassler.

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Speaker 1: You're not a hassler. M thank you so much. Are

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Speaker 1: you going to cut off some hasslers?

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's very rare where I hear something new

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Speaker 3: that's come up that has a lot of scientific backing

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Speaker 3: on it, and I go wrong.

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Speaker 1: She lives universe, take side and shove it.

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Speaker 3: This is wrong because this whole thing is Also because

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Speaker 3: I did read a lot of the science words in

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Speaker 3: this piece, and I saw I saw the word chronic

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Speaker 3: stress come up a lot. So they're comparing that some

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Speaker 3: people who are hasslers in your life are adding to

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Speaker 3: your chronic stress. And we know stress is a slow killer,

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Speaker 3: but it is a killer. That's not the only thing

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Speaker 3: that's stressful. So what I'm worried about is that we

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Speaker 3: could get someone who has all of these friends around

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Speaker 3: them and then them just going you stress me out

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Speaker 3: this way. I didn't like when you did that. That

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Speaker 3: was a bit stressful. I didn't like when you did that.

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Speaker 3: That was a bit stressful. But also the same person

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Speaker 3: could just have like a job that's literally aging them

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Speaker 3: and that's the biggest stress in their life, and they

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Speaker 3: end up dumping all their friends keeping this crappy job,

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Speaker 3: and now they're still stressed out, going through chronic stress,

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Speaker 3: and they've got no friends because I got.

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Speaker 2: Rid of them. Also, social support really really important for

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Speaker 2: fighting stress. So I do think, m there are lots

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Speaker 2: of confounding factors.

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Speaker 1: Get me a lab coat.

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Speaker 3: I've got this.

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Speaker 1: I'm just gonna get little badges made like Hassler. Just

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Speaker 1: hand them out to my friends and be like, this

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Speaker 1: is a present. It's a great compliment. Everybody around them

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Speaker 1: will be like, stay away.

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Speaker 2: There's a book cover I have been seeing everywhere. Amelia's

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Speaker 2: reading it, Me is reading it, and it's next on

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Speaker 2: my list. It's called Strangers by Bell Burden. But before

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Speaker 2: I've even had the chance to pick it up, I've

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Speaker 2: seen some criticism circling for context Burden, who happens to

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Speaker 2: be an heiress. She has descended.

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Speaker 1: So I just displayed so much about myself by giving

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Speaker 1: a little snort through my nose and rolling my eyes.

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Speaker 1: I'm very sorry, Bell Burden. I'm sure you're a lovely person.

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Speaker 1: Not her fault.

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Speaker 3: Heiresses can write books.

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Speaker 2: Yes, she descended from the Vanderbilts. She wrote a viral.

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Speaker 2: People are allowed.

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Speaker 1: To be heiress, discriminated Charlie inside voice. Sorry, we're not gLing, Claire.

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Speaker 1: I was just trying to get through this one.

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Speaker 2: Sorry, Clara, please continue telling us about it, just because

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Speaker 2: we're not heiresses. You know, one day we might be

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Speaker 2: She wrote a viral essay for the New York Times

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Speaker 2: Modern Love section, and that is the basis for this memoir.

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Speaker 2: So it opens in the early days of the pandemic

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Speaker 2: in twenty twenty, and she receives a phone call from

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Speaker 2: a stranger who says, FYI, your husband is having an

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Speaker 2: affair with my wife. And that's her husband of twenty years,

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Speaker 2: scary of her three children. He is a hassler. But

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Speaker 2: the twist is she didn't know he was a hassler,

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Speaker 2: because the other kind of remarkable thing about this story

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Speaker 2: is that she says in this book that there were

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Speaker 2: no signs, and so at first he says he's really sorry,

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Speaker 2: and he is embarrassed, and the relationship is over. Then

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Speaker 2: he sort of switches and says he doesn't want to

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Speaker 2: be married, and then he becomes a stranger to her.

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Speaker 2: So that's the concept of strangers. It's been hailed as

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Speaker 2: a memoir about betrayal and self discovery, but there are

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Speaker 2: also people who say it's not entirely true or not

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Speaker 2: entirely consistent.

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Speaker 1: Let me guess is one of them.

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Speaker 2: The husband, Well, weirdly, he read it and gave his.

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Speaker 1: Approved Okay, so he was like, you've got me. This

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Speaker 1: is my penance, Please publicly humiliate me for lessons.

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Speaker 2: But he I think it was very much like the

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Speaker 2: royal response to Prince Harry's memoir, which was like, recollections

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Speaker 2: may vary my favorite Yeah, because it's just I mean,

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Speaker 2: a truer sentence has never been spoken about life. But

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Speaker 2: there are apparently discrepancies between what Burden wrote in the

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Speaker 2: New York Times essay, what she said in interviews about

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Speaker 2: the book, and then what's actually in the memoir. One

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Speaker 2: of those is the idea of there being no signs

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Speaker 2: of the problems in her marriage, because sometimes she phrases

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Speaker 2: it that you willfully ignored them. Sometimes she kind of

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Speaker 2: brings up things that people are like that was a sign.

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Speaker 1: But to me, I'm life, Yeah, we're all inconsistent humans exactly.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, yeah, if I told any story about my

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Speaker 2: life any number of times, it would change because that's

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Speaker 2: the nature of language and perspective.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but you're not making profit on it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, true, I like, but I think even still, we

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Speaker 2: don't want people to be totally rehearsed in exactly what

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Speaker 2: they tell us. And your understanding of your own life

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Speaker 2: evolves over time. But there's also this sub stacker came across,

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Speaker 2: which is so detailed to the point of it was

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Speaker 2: a little bit funny, where it goes through all of

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Speaker 2: Burton's claims dissects them. And what's interesting is that this

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Speaker 2: critic seems to be annoyed at Bellburden for not considering

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Speaker 2: the perspective of her husband in.

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Speaker 1: All this, and even though he has and just like,

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Speaker 1: go for it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And I'd just like to say that no one

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Speaker 2: who's been dumped out of the blue is at pains

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Speaker 2: to walk in their partner's shoes, like you have your

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Speaker 2: experience of what happened, and that's the bloody experience. So

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Speaker 2: there's also criticism about the dialogue in the memoir about

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Speaker 2: how could you possibly have remembered those conversations, which makes

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Speaker 2: me think that's just me.

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Speaker 1: People are so annoying. I'm sorry, but people are annoying.

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Speaker 1: Let the woman write a book, exactly, Let the air

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Speaker 1: s write a book.

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Speaker 2: Let her write her book and make a lot of money.

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Speaker 2: I'm money fascinated by this conversation because I've just finished

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Speaker 2: listening to the Walkers the Real Salt Path which Holly

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Speaker 2: recommended a few weeks ago, seven part series about the

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Speaker 2: best selling memoir by rainer Win, and you flagged when

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Speaker 2: you recommended it. Holly that on the one hand, there

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Speaker 2: are some very legitimate claims about the story not being true,

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Speaker 2: or rainer Win misrepresenting her life for example, that's not

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Speaker 2: her name, just little things at all. But there are

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Speaker 2: also things that seem really petty, and I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: that they actually take away from the emotional truth of

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Speaker 2: what she was trying to say. Holly, where do you

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Speaker 2: think the line is?

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Speaker 1: I think we live in and it's all true crime

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Speaker 1: podcast fault.

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Speaker 2: Right.

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Speaker 1: We live in an era where everybody wants to be

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Speaker 1: a detective, and everybody likes to excavate on the internet,

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Speaker 1: and everybody likes to prove people wrong and expose the truth.

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Speaker 1: And we don't believe anybody about anything, so we're always digging, right.

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Speaker 1: That's become a very just mainstream cultural thing now that

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Speaker 1: we someone tells you something and you go, sure, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to go check. I'm going to go check receipts

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Speaker 1: like that's a thing. A lack of trust in general,

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Speaker 1: the thing that makes that really tricky atmosphere to drop

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Speaker 1: a memoir in is a memoir isn't an autobiography. We

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Speaker 1: need to remember that, right. A memoir is different. So

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Speaker 1: it's not supposed to be a straightforward out of every

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Speaker 1: single thing that's ever happened to you. The whole point

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Speaker 1: of a memoir is it's a story from your life

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Speaker 1: that you're telling. It might focus on one particular period

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Speaker 1: of your life or one particular relationship, or it might

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Speaker 1: pick out different stories, but the whole point of a

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Speaker 1: memoir is it's a like, it's written in an engaging

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Speaker 1: literary way, telling a story from your life. Now, as

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Speaker 1: we've already said, if I'm going to tell a story

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Speaker 1: about something that happened to me yesterday, it will be

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Speaker 1: my version of it, and then if I ask you

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Speaker 1: and you were there, you'll probably tell a different version.

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Speaker 1: And that's life. It doesn't mean mine was wrong or

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Speaker 1: yours was wrong. It means I came from my perspective,

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Speaker 1: you came from yours. And you've got to give memoir

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Speaker 1: and that level of recollection the benefit of the doubt

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Speaker 1: in that someone's telling you their story, you know it

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Speaker 1: with your eyes open going in. This isn't supposed to

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Speaker 1: be an entirely fair documentation of events. This is Bell

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Speaker 1: Burden's story. Or another example of this would be last

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Speaker 1: year I read and interviewed Liz Gilbert about All the

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Speaker 1: Way to the River, which was her memoir about the

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Speaker 1: death of her partner, Raya Ellis Elias Raya Elias, and

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Speaker 1: that was a very controversial book that got a lot

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Speaker 1: of crap because people said it was ungenerous to Raya

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Speaker 1: because at the end of Raya's life she turned back

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Speaker 1: towards her drug addiction. That is not a disputed fact,

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Speaker 1: Like everyone who knows her and who is in her

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Speaker 1: circle knows that happened. But they didn't like Lizzie's telling

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Speaker 1: of what life was like. But the thing is is

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Speaker 1: only Liz knows what it was like to be the

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Speaker 1: partner of that person in that moment, and she's telling

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Speaker 1: her version of events. It's got her name on the cover,

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Speaker 1: like it's to me, that's fair enough, right. The problem

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Speaker 1: is when you shit on other people in your memoirs.

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Speaker 1: And I don't classify the Raya Ellis example as that

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Speaker 1: because Liz Gilbert did not do that in my opinion,

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Speaker 1: in that book, and she was also very she didn't

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Speaker 1: give herself an easy writing that she talked heaps about

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Speaker 1: all the things she'd done wrong and all her different,

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Speaker 1: you know, sort of issues. But if you are straight

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Speaker 1: up just calling other people out and criticizing them and

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Speaker 1: giving ungenerous descriptions of their role, that is difficult because

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Speaker 1: you're putting the other person in a very tricky situation.

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Speaker 1: I think like some celebrity examples of this would be

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Speaker 1: Prince Harry's memoir Spare Yeah. He famously writes in there

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Speaker 1: about a time that him and William got into a

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Speaker 1: physical fight, do you remember, And there was about a

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Speaker 1: dog bowl and he fell over, and the fight wasn't

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Speaker 1: about a dog bowl, but they're like wrestling in the

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Speaker 1: kitchen and then a dog boll goes over and someone's

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Speaker 1: pulling someone's hair and it's all really embarrassing for everybody.

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Speaker 1: And Harry tells that story, and Prince William, who isn't

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Speaker 1: allowed to comment on such matters but through his people,

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Speaker 1: has been like that never happened, Harry, Like it did

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Speaker 1: not happen. Like that. That's tricky, you know, because you're like,

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Speaker 1: in order to negate someone else's account, you've got to

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Speaker 1: come out. You've got to say what really happened or

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Speaker 1: to you buy it from your perspective, Then you have

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Speaker 1: to go deep on it. You have to accept questions

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Speaker 1: on the matter, and like, who wants to do that?

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Speaker 1: You know?

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Speaker 3: I also want to talk about the reader of this situation,

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Speaker 3: because for non readers or people who very rarely read memoirs,

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Speaker 3: reading someone's memoir is a big deal. I rarely read memoirs.

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Speaker 3: I find them quite boring and self indulgent.

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Speaker 1: Well, some of them are brilliantly written, some of the

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Speaker 1: most famous books in the world and memoirs, but then

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Speaker 1: some of them are not, like Britney Spears, The Woman

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Speaker 1: and Me not.

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Speaker 3: But like even like Britney Spears, like I think, like

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Speaker 3: I've the reason. Ones I've read have been Britney Spears

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Speaker 3: and Jeanette McCurdy's. And there's some like social clouds in

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Speaker 3: telling people you've read a memoir, and you can be like, well,

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Speaker 3: in Britney Spears's memoir you hear all about the stuff

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Speaker 3: of Justin Tim Blake, and people are like, WHOA, she's

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Speaker 3: a great example though she's very well read.

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Speaker 1: He wouldn't have liked that.

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Speaker 3: He wouldn't have liked that. But with the strangers a

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Speaker 3: lot of the stuff that she said. So in the

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Speaker 3: book she was like, there were no signs, But then

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Speaker 3: she does interviews and she was like, there were some,

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Speaker 3: so this could have been sign. So it's like her

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Speaker 3: going against her own word. And as a reader, if

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Speaker 3: I were to read that memoir and I would have

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Speaker 3: told all my friends about it and been like, there

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Speaker 3: was no signs, no science, and then she's out doing

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Speaker 3: interviews going here's a sign here, this could have been

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Speaker 3: a sign, I would have felt betrayed, and I've been like,

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Speaker 3: you are wasting my time for making me reader's book.

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Speaker 1: But don't you think that Sometimes, Like so, in an

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Speaker 1: account of a marriage or a relationship, everybody wants a

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Speaker 1: neat narrative, right, you know, the first question whenever anyone

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Speaker 1: breaks up is what happened? And what we want is

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Speaker 1: something really simple? She cheated, he was bored, you know,

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Speaker 1: like we want something like that, don't we? And very

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Speaker 1: rarely is it like that. It's really often the story

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Speaker 1: of a relationship, particularly a long relationship, will be a

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Speaker 1: million little messes that then tip over to be the

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Speaker 1: thing that upends it. So when you ask someone were

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Speaker 1: their signs, and you're like, no, I thought we were happy.

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Speaker 1: That doesn't necessarily mean that every day you were skipping

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Speaker 1: down the street holding hands. You might just mean there

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Speaker 1: was the usual amount of shit going on, because in

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Speaker 1: every relationship there is, and maybe when you're being questioned

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Speaker 1: about that, you're going to reflect on it differently than

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Speaker 1: when you're writing it out.

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Speaker 3: But a book allow you to reflect on that like

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Speaker 3: a book. I feel like, because you're sitting down writing

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Speaker 3: this book, you are reflecting. You should have all of

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Speaker 3: that in there. It's not a social post. It was

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Speaker 3: a social post of her going he cheated. I'm like,

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Speaker 3: that's fine. I don't care about the science, but the

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Speaker 3: scigence should have been in the book.

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Speaker 1: Well, yeah, I haven't read it, so it's very hard

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Speaker 1: to be really specific about that example when you haven't

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Speaker 1: read it. But like I think, I just think that

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Speaker 1: we want really neat narratives and that's not what memoir is.

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Speaker 2: And I think what makes it really tricky in an

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Speaker 2: age of the Internet and hot takes and you know,

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Speaker 2: everybody wants to wants to post about it or have

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Speaker 2: an opinion, is that stuff gets taken out of context.

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Speaker 2: So it's like, this might be an eighty thousand word manuscript,

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Speaker 2: and I remember thinking this a lot about Lena Dunham's

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Speaker 2: memoir all those years ago, very very controversial, and there

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Speaker 2: would be a passage that just got taken out and

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Speaker 2: totally ripped apart, and I thought, but that's completely devoid

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Speaker 2: of all the context and all the context about who

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Speaker 2: she is and why she was telling that story. I

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Speaker 2: do think there's a big difference between those sort of

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Speaker 2: gray area inconsistencies that we probably all have and the

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Speaker 2: serious fabrication of a story completely. So there is a

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Speaker 2: big controversy going on at the moment with a book

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Speaker 2: called The Tell by Amy Griffin. It was all the

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Speaker 2: book Club Picks in twenty twenty five, so it came

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Speaker 2: out in March last year. Then this month it came

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Speaker 2: out that she's being sued by a former classmate who

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Speaker 2: says that Griffin's story of being sexually abused was based

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Speaker 2: on assaults that this classmate had actually suffered at their

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Speaker 2: middle school.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's an excusable ye to me. There's fraud. There's

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Speaker 1: out and out fraud, and there are some very famous

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Speaker 1: cases of that in memoir where people have fabricated everything

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Speaker 1: from racial identity to you know to their background and

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Speaker 1: all those things. That to me is a much clearer

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Speaker 1: cut and dried case, like if you're pretending a thing

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Speaker 1: happened to you and it absolutely didn't, or you're pretending

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Speaker 1: to be someone else, Which is one of the arguments

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Speaker 1: about the Saltpath discussion, is that so I'm on the

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Speaker 1: record of saying I read that book, I love that book.

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Speaker 1: I still love that book. It's beautifully written, like it's

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Speaker 1: a really well written, gorgeous book, which is why it

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Speaker 1: got so much attention. The argument there is whether the

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Speaker 1: whole premise is now discredited, which is that she and

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Speaker 1: her husband were in a very difficult spot financially and

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Speaker 1: health wise, and they went off on the walk, which

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Speaker 1: is a crazy decision to make, but they did do that.

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Speaker 1: That's all true, and then it sort of follows them

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Speaker 1: through and the accusations about them are like, the whole

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Speaker 1: thing is fake, and it's not fake, but it's just

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Speaker 1: that a lot one of the motivations that she spelled

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Speaker 1: out she either left out massive details, like the reason

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Speaker 1: that they were in debt was allegedly because she's stolen

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Speaker 1: money and got involved in this very complicated scheme, And

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Speaker 1: whether or not her husband's illness is as serious as

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Speaker 1: she has portrayed it, but the story still holds. That's

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Speaker 1: different to like I say, I grew up in a

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Speaker 1: palace in London, and really I grew up in Manchester,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean.

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Speaker 2: I think the claim there that has that I feel

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Speaker 2: the most uncomfortable about is Rayna Winn writes about her

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Speaker 2: husband having a certain neurodegenerative and physically degenerative condition, and

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Speaker 2: it really sounds like that might have either been exaggerated

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Speaker 2: or he but.

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Speaker 1: We don't know that. Yes, but in a microsoft.

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Speaker 2: If that is the case, then I do think.

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Speaker 1: And that falls into the fraud cast.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that falls into because the people who read that

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Speaker 2: book also think maybe I can walk my way into health,

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Speaker 2: and that's clearly not the case. This brings me back

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Speaker 2: to the fact that some of my favorite books are

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Speaker 2: fiction that's clearly based on a true story. Yeah, and

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Speaker 2: I love it because you can take all those liberties

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Speaker 2: that maybe you're restricted from taking in memoir. So I

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Speaker 2: just read EM's recommendation from the other Week Half His

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Speaker 2: Age by Jeanette MacCurdy, and you read that and you go,

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Speaker 2: she's had this experience.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but you see sometimes that And that irritates me too,

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Speaker 1: because if you write books, everyone always fiction. Everyone always

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Speaker 1: assumes that you're just telling your story and you're not, Like,

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Speaker 1: we have imaginations, right, So you take a little bit

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Speaker 1: of this story, in a little bit of that story,

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Speaker 1: and a little bit of this and you mix them

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Speaker 1: all up at you and sometimes, I mean, lots of

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Speaker 1: great writers write about things that they have no experience of.

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Speaker 1: So I don't think it's always fair to assume that,

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Speaker 1: particularly women's fiction is always based on real experience, which

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Speaker 1: is what people particularly like to say about women's fiction.

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Speaker 1: Or well, clearly she did do that, Clearly that did happen. Yes,

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Speaker 1: and you're doing the same detective works that the people

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Speaker 1: who are doing who are digging and that you know.

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Speaker 4: What I mean.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but you're allowed. And so all fours is the

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Speaker 2: other one where you go, this is clearly partly mirandigalized story.

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Speaker 2: My book is the same. There are a whole lot

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Speaker 2: of things people like, oh I remember when that happened. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: And I'm like, yeah, And I wrote it as fiction

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Speaker 2: for a reason because I know that I'm incredibly biased

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Speaker 2: and the story would not have held up to scrutiny.

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Speaker 3: Out louders in a moment, the Unofficial List of Things

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Speaker 3: Men and Women should Never do. No, it's not scientific,

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Speaker 3: but I'm taking those truth out louders.

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Speaker 4: Hello, it's me and I've done another diary for you.

435
00:22:42,440 --> 00:22:45,080
Speaker 4: It's a bit of an update some of the things

436
00:22:45,119 --> 00:22:47,719
Speaker 4: I wanted to talk to you about. I'm not going

437
00:22:47,760 --> 00:22:50,439
Speaker 4: to spoil it by telling it to you now, but

438
00:22:50,680 --> 00:22:53,920
Speaker 4: I do subscribe episodes twice a week on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

439
00:22:53,920 --> 00:22:57,040
Speaker 4: And if you like my instabubble that I don't do anymore,

440
00:22:57,720 --> 00:23:01,359
Speaker 4: the diary updates have kind of replace them, except I

441
00:23:01,400 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 4: can be a lot more honest and candid because it's

442
00:23:05,320 --> 00:23:07,919
Speaker 4: not on the open Internet. So if you're not already

443
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:10,520
Speaker 4: a subscriber and you want to hear, follow the link

444
00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:13,360
Speaker 4: in the show notes to listen to me on Tuesdays

445
00:23:13,359 --> 00:23:16,520
Speaker 4: and Thursdays, and you get out loud five days a week.

446
00:23:16,880 --> 00:23:17,800
Speaker 2: What could be better than that?

447
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:23,040
Speaker 3: So substacker Hannah Park published the Unofficial List of Things

448
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,159
Speaker 3: Men and Women should Never Do? And I want to

449
00:23:26,200 --> 00:23:28,480
Speaker 3: say that I read some of the comments on this

450
00:23:28,600 --> 00:23:30,600
Speaker 3: piece and a lot of people are angry.

451
00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,600
Speaker 1: I was a bit angry, but I also wanted to

452
00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:35,639
Speaker 1: bring it to you like a cat bringing you something

453
00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:39,280
Speaker 1: to play, because I was like and will love this shit.

454
00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,160
Speaker 1: She has very strong opinions about what men and women.

455
00:23:42,720 --> 00:23:46,120
Speaker 3: Made my week and made me so happy. Before she

456
00:23:46,160 --> 00:23:49,879
Speaker 3: gets into her list, she does say just letting you

457
00:23:49,920 --> 00:23:53,640
Speaker 3: all know this is technically not true, like, don't take

458
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:54,399
Speaker 3: this as bible.

459
00:23:54,480 --> 00:23:57,000
Speaker 1: All the things she's like, I'm just having a lull.

460
00:23:57,359 --> 00:24:05,040
Speaker 3: I think all memboir should have FYI are true.

461
00:24:05,240 --> 00:24:06,040
Speaker 1: The queen said it.

462
00:24:07,359 --> 00:24:10,000
Speaker 3: So I want to also say I made my own list,

463
00:24:10,359 --> 00:24:12,080
Speaker 3: not about what women shouldn't do, because I think women

464
00:24:12,119 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 3: should do whatever they want to do, but things that

465
00:24:13,720 --> 00:24:19,320
Speaker 3: men should definitely things had men should definitely not do.

466
00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:21,919
Speaker 3: And I want to say I made this list sitting

467
00:24:21,920 --> 00:24:23,560
Speaker 3: next to one of my best friends who works here,

468
00:24:23,560 --> 00:24:26,240
Speaker 3: amom Me and Julian, a straight man, because I was

469
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,879
Speaker 3: liked him. These are the things that you do that

470
00:24:28,960 --> 00:24:31,080
Speaker 3: annoy me that I think men shouldn't do, And he

471
00:24:31,160 --> 00:24:33,200
Speaker 3: got very annoyed at first, but then he got really

472
00:24:33,200 --> 00:24:33,680
Speaker 3: into it and.

473
00:24:33,720 --> 00:24:35,680
Speaker 1: Also started adding to the list. So tell us what

474
00:24:35,720 --> 00:24:39,000
Speaker 1: was on the original origins point.

475
00:24:39,520 --> 00:24:42,800
Speaker 3: Okay, some of these we agree with me and Hannah.

476
00:24:43,400 --> 00:24:44,760
Speaker 3: Men who get a stomach ache.

477
00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:48,960
Speaker 1: Ye, men are allowed to get stomach No.

478
00:24:49,119 --> 00:24:52,560
Speaker 2: I think honestly women own that part of the anatomy,

479
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,479
Speaker 2: not only because of like period pain and that kind

480
00:24:56,520 --> 00:24:58,840
Speaker 2: of thing, but I just think our stomach should be

481
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,480
Speaker 2: more sensitive.

482
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:01,680
Speaker 3: Oh, you can just word it a bit differently, right,

483
00:25:01,720 --> 00:25:03,880
Speaker 3: Like I don't want to hear a man going, oh,

484
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,600
Speaker 3: tummy ache. You can say something like I think I

485
00:25:06,600 --> 00:25:10,359
Speaker 3: have appendicitis. That's fine, that's fine to say, and then

486
00:25:10,359 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 3: we can figure it out as we go along.

487
00:25:11,720 --> 00:25:14,840
Speaker 2: Kidney Stone exactly. Think I have a bowel obstruction, Like,

488
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:16,120
Speaker 2: don't tell me that, but like.

489
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:22,639
Speaker 3: That scientific we've only just started. Men aren't allowed to

490
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:23,760
Speaker 3: get hiccups.

491
00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:26,440
Speaker 2: Oh it's embarrassing. Why not?

492
00:25:27,160 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 3: Well, what do you like?

493
00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:28,800
Speaker 4: Stop it?

494
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,200
Speaker 1: Just stop? What do you mean it's sitting there with what.

495
00:25:32,240 --> 00:25:32,879
Speaker 2: Were you drinking?

496
00:25:34,640 --> 00:25:40,760
Speaker 1: I get hiccups but you're that's fine, okay, man, just

497
00:25:40,920 --> 00:25:44,480
Speaker 1: don't tick up? Yes, you're like, please remove yourself until

498
00:25:44,480 --> 00:25:47,480
Speaker 1: this has finished. This episode, unfortunate episode is over.

499
00:25:47,720 --> 00:25:53,679
Speaker 3: Sorry again, men who use the stare master at the gym.

500
00:25:53,800 --> 00:25:55,240
Speaker 3: This is one of my personal ones as well.

501
00:25:55,400 --> 00:25:57,879
Speaker 1: Why well, why it is going to be my question

502
00:25:57,920 --> 00:26:01,040
Speaker 1: at your time? Is it? Just stop? Saying why you

503
00:26:01,119 --> 00:26:03,080
Speaker 1: need to offer me a little tippit of why it's

504
00:26:03,119 --> 00:26:04,880
Speaker 1: such a thick Well, that's my machine.

505
00:26:06,119 --> 00:26:07,760
Speaker 2: And also it's like if you want to do cardio,

506
00:26:07,880 --> 00:26:08,200
Speaker 2: just run.

507
00:26:09,720 --> 00:26:13,239
Speaker 3: Oh I see on the treadmill like outside, because the

508
00:26:13,240 --> 00:26:15,080
Speaker 3: machine is the treadmills also for women.

509
00:26:15,880 --> 00:26:19,679
Speaker 1: So the code is that the inside cardio exercise is

510
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:23,639
Speaker 1: for women, because why we can't exercise outside safely? Like

511
00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:27,480
Speaker 1: what's the via stops?

512
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:31,720
Speaker 3: It's all about just fine, true, can be fine.

513
00:26:32,440 --> 00:26:34,960
Speaker 2: Image of who's on a StairMaster at any given time

514
00:26:35,080 --> 00:26:37,800
Speaker 2: is a cutout? Yeah, yeah, she loves.

515
00:26:37,960 --> 00:26:39,480
Speaker 1: Its about the but right yeh.

516
00:26:41,080 --> 00:26:48,480
Speaker 3: Drinking marcher, just drink coffee. Just stop it. Needing sleeping

517
00:26:48,520 --> 00:26:49,920
Speaker 3: accessories to fall asleep.

518
00:26:51,080 --> 00:26:54,040
Speaker 2: Okay, my I have a note on this my husband,

519
00:26:54,720 --> 00:26:56,639
Speaker 2: and I'm sorry to share this because it's such an

520
00:26:56,720 --> 00:27:01,080
Speaker 2: it will he mind? No, We argue about it every day.

521
00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:03,119
Speaker 3: He wears.

522
00:27:03,960 --> 00:27:06,800
Speaker 2: It started during my matt leave newborn. All of that.

523
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,240
Speaker 2: He wears this sleep mask to go to sleep, that

524
00:27:10,359 --> 00:27:12,800
Speaker 2: it's like this across his eyes, but then it also

525
00:27:12,800 --> 00:27:17,520
Speaker 2: has white noise in his ears. It's also for the

526
00:27:17,640 --> 00:27:19,760
Speaker 2: nights where he isn't getting up with Matilda so he

527
00:27:19,760 --> 00:27:24,440
Speaker 2: can sleep through. It is the biggest ick and every

528
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:28,960
Speaker 2: morning he takes it off and I'm like, I hate it,

529
00:27:29,840 --> 00:27:31,480
Speaker 2: and he's like, do you want to borrow my sleep mask?

530
00:27:31,520 --> 00:27:34,000
Speaker 2: And I'm like, I will never touch them. It is

531
00:27:34,160 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 2: just about yours.

532
00:27:35,080 --> 00:27:35,879
Speaker 3: Thank you so much.

533
00:27:36,040 --> 00:27:38,320
Speaker 2: Oh God, it's so poor.

534
00:27:39,160 --> 00:27:41,240
Speaker 1: Can't help themselves and stuff? Can they know?

535
00:27:42,040 --> 00:27:44,600
Speaker 3: Before I get into my personal list? Should I go

536
00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:46,479
Speaker 3: through some of the things that Hannah says girls shouldn't?

537
00:27:46,920 --> 00:27:49,879
Speaker 1: Yeah? Have I not to ask? Why again?

538
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,400
Speaker 3: Have a nickname? That's their last name?

539
00:27:52,520 --> 00:27:54,159
Speaker 1: Disagree? Love a nickname?

540
00:27:54,160 --> 00:27:55,440
Speaker 3: It's too browie.

541
00:27:56,080 --> 00:27:57,920
Speaker 2: Trying to think if I know any women.

542
00:27:58,080 --> 00:28:00,679
Speaker 1: I used to call Rachel Corbett Corbett all the time.

543
00:28:01,880 --> 00:28:03,840
Speaker 1: There are some people in my life who are definitely

544
00:28:03,880 --> 00:28:05,800
Speaker 1: just called by their second I think it's cool, but

545
00:28:05,800 --> 00:28:07,679
Speaker 1: there's that really daggy am. I just old, is that

546
00:28:07,680 --> 00:28:09,320
Speaker 1: what I think it is cool? I think it will.

547
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,640
Speaker 3: I don't think you'll be able to get a boyfriend

548
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:12,240
Speaker 3: if you do that.

549
00:28:13,280 --> 00:28:14,040
Speaker 2: You should worry that.

550
00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:21,440
Speaker 3: Some girls who like grill or I guess it's an American barbecue.

551
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:26,200
Speaker 1: Oh no, that's also cool. Do you know how to barbecue? Yeah?

552
00:28:26,359 --> 00:28:31,080
Speaker 3: Because I've seen my dad like carry like this, this machine.

553
00:28:32,640 --> 00:28:33,760
Speaker 2: I think it's filled with gas.

554
00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:40,200
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really despair.

555
00:28:38,760 --> 00:28:44,360
Speaker 3: I think I could flip a burger, like flip some chicken.

556
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:47,920
Speaker 1: But I think what goes on inside into like the

557
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,640
Speaker 1: men are at the barbecue, the women are making the salads. Like,

558
00:28:50,800 --> 00:28:51,760
Speaker 1: come on, I.

559
00:28:53,400 --> 00:28:55,640
Speaker 3: Think the men can start the barbecue and if they

560
00:28:55,680 --> 00:28:58,760
Speaker 3: go to the bathroom, I can do some stuff on there. Okay,

561
00:28:59,360 --> 00:29:00,920
Speaker 3: I don't understand the mechanics of it.

562
00:29:01,040 --> 00:29:02,360
Speaker 2: How the barbecue works is none of.

563
00:29:02,360 --> 00:29:05,680
Speaker 3: My none of my business. Women shouldn't be at home

564
00:29:05,720 --> 00:29:08,400
Speaker 3: when the internet guy or electricity guy comes over.

565
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:10,280
Speaker 1: What if you live alone? Like you?

566
00:29:10,480 --> 00:29:11,680
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's really.

567
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,520
Speaker 1: Hard and I think I've been camped.

568
00:29:14,080 --> 00:29:16,720
Speaker 3: But I spent a lot of money on stopping my

569
00:29:16,760 --> 00:29:19,000
Speaker 3: tap from dripping, and I think it took him like

570
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 3: two seconds. My good, Yeah, your dad needs My dad

571
00:29:22,560 --> 00:29:23,200
Speaker 3: should have been there.

572
00:29:23,320 --> 00:29:26,000
Speaker 1: Women are very in this world order. They're like very

573
00:29:26,040 --> 00:29:27,760
Speaker 1: little helpless princesses, aren't they.

574
00:29:27,960 --> 00:29:29,240
Speaker 3: Yeah, it looks like it.

575
00:29:30,440 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 1: We like that.

576
00:29:30,880 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 3: Do we know the names of directors of movies?

577
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,000
Speaker 2: Oh my god, my.

578
00:29:34,880 --> 00:29:35,960
Speaker 1: Head's going to fall off.

579
00:29:36,120 --> 00:29:40,480
Speaker 2: I think this has changed recently because directors of movies

580
00:29:40,560 --> 00:29:42,760
Speaker 2: used to all be men, and that was boring. But

581
00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:46,760
Speaker 2: now that we've got greta girl, got Chloe Joo and

582
00:29:46,800 --> 00:29:50,719
Speaker 2: Emerald for now. But no, we are not just allowed

583
00:29:50,720 --> 00:29:53,560
Speaker 2: to know about girl things. Okay, do you want to

584
00:29:53,560 --> 00:29:57,960
Speaker 2: know about in my box? Because guy like.

585
00:29:58,240 --> 00:29:59,200
Speaker 1: You should know his name?

586
00:30:00,600 --> 00:30:01,880
Speaker 3: Okay, can I get into my list?

587
00:30:01,920 --> 00:30:04,120
Speaker 1: Please get into your list. And because one of the

588
00:30:04,120 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 1: reasons why I brought this story to you, as I say,

589
00:30:06,520 --> 00:30:10,040
Speaker 1: like like a little shiny cat toy, is because I

590
00:30:10,080 --> 00:30:12,960
Speaker 1: think all the time about your bold declaration that you

591
00:30:13,040 --> 00:30:15,760
Speaker 1: made on this podcast quite some time ago that men,

592
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000
Speaker 1: unless they're famous. I think there was an I think

593
00:30:18,000 --> 00:30:20,720
Speaker 1: there was maybe an out for famous men should never

594
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,000
Speaker 1: have a public Instagram account. No, that made my head

595
00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: fall off. I'm like, I didn't think that Instagram was

596
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:27,400
Speaker 1: only for women.

597
00:30:27,920 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 3: No, it is only for women. I mean the public

598
00:30:30,280 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 3: Instagram accounts. I only why would a man have a

599
00:30:33,000 --> 00:30:34,640
Speaker 3: public Instagram to show?

600
00:30:36,440 --> 00:30:39,240
Speaker 1: Well? What are they showing the same things that we're showing?

601
00:30:39,360 --> 00:30:43,800
Speaker 3: No, No, it's different, it's different. Okay, what else?

602
00:30:43,960 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 1: Okay?

603
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 3: Taking the tram?

604
00:30:47,360 --> 00:30:50,400
Speaker 1: Just walk? She's really, Oh, I don't know, a line bike.

605
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:52,840
Speaker 1: Maybe I don't know. I don't approve of this. You know,

606
00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 1: you wouldn't remember this, but Margaret Thatcher, who is famous

607
00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:59,160
Speaker 1: conservative British Preme Minister, once made a declaration that if

608
00:30:59,200 --> 00:31:02,120
Speaker 1: you see any over the age of thirty on public transport,

609
00:31:02,160 --> 00:31:07,080
Speaker 1: he's a loser. Oh I that hurts me to my core.

610
00:31:07,320 --> 00:31:10,760
Speaker 1: And this sounds like no. It sounds like you're saying no.

611
00:31:10,840 --> 00:31:16,200
Speaker 3: They can take buses, men, trains. They could take buses, trains, walks, linebacks,

612
00:31:16,600 --> 00:31:18,320
Speaker 3: metros and trams are for girls.

613
00:31:18,640 --> 00:31:19,400
Speaker 1: Okay.

614
00:31:20,080 --> 00:31:25,960
Speaker 3: Vibes, drinking with the straw, Yeah.

615
00:31:26,600 --> 00:31:28,520
Speaker 1: They've had their teeth whitened and they don't want to.

616
00:31:28,560 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 3: Okay, on the list straws grave, Okay, holding a wine

617
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:38,160
Speaker 3: glass by the stem.

618
00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 1: You're terrible. You're going to hell.

619
00:31:39,800 --> 00:31:41,840
Speaker 3: Also, how would the hand fitter like if your hand

620
00:31:41,840 --> 00:31:45,959
Speaker 3: fits around them? Yeah, I'm on into that.

621
00:31:46,000 --> 00:31:49,560
Speaker 1: I'm sure I've selling this story before. When my son

622
00:31:49,760 --> 00:31:52,920
Speaker 1: was little, I was obviously going really hard on like

623
00:31:53,160 --> 00:31:55,320
Speaker 1: the whole rebel girls things for my daughter and you

624
00:31:55,360 --> 00:31:57,000
Speaker 1: know all that, and so I was always like, you

625
00:31:57,000 --> 00:31:58,920
Speaker 1: can be whatever you want to be. And one day

626
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,760
Speaker 1: little Billy, I think it was like six, he comes

627
00:32:00,760 --> 00:32:03,480
Speaker 1: to me and he goes, mom, can boys be whatever

628
00:32:03,520 --> 00:32:04,080
Speaker 1: they want to be?

629
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:04,440
Speaker 2: Too?

630
00:32:06,440 --> 00:32:10,160
Speaker 1: I was like, shit, I think it never even occurred

631
00:32:10,200 --> 00:32:11,800
Speaker 1: to me. And now I'm going to have to go

632
00:32:11,880 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 1: home and say to him, yes, billy, except you.

633
00:32:14,240 --> 00:32:15,480
Speaker 2: Can't get on a tramp.

634
00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 3: Wearing contact lenses.

635
00:32:21,480 --> 00:32:23,960
Speaker 2: Yeah, wear glass, wear glasses.

636
00:32:24,040 --> 00:32:28,040
Speaker 1: It don't look HoTT in glasses. They always look. That's

637
00:32:28,080 --> 00:32:28,560
Speaker 1: what they get.

638
00:32:29,320 --> 00:32:31,280
Speaker 3: Driving with two hands on the wheel.

639
00:32:32,280 --> 00:32:35,360
Speaker 2: One hand on the steering wheel, one on the Yeah,

640
00:32:36,360 --> 00:32:38,080
Speaker 2: have an accident.

641
00:32:39,360 --> 00:32:40,800
Speaker 1: That's too far, too far.

642
00:32:41,840 --> 00:32:46,440
Speaker 3: Blowing on their food if it's hot, just eat it.

643
00:32:48,040 --> 00:32:52,320
Speaker 3: A little burnt tongue never hurt anyone. Oh, and like

644
00:32:52,720 --> 00:32:55,120
Speaker 3: the way they get into water when it's too cold,

645
00:32:55,640 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 3: Like if they're not just straight jumping in, don't get

646
00:32:57,960 --> 00:32:59,840
Speaker 3: in the water because they come to climb.

647
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:02,720
Speaker 1: And I really like manly, don't.

648
00:33:02,720 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: My favorite dud yell at my husband the manisphere.

649
00:33:05,520 --> 00:33:07,800
Speaker 1: Guys, we're talking about that the other day.

650
00:33:08,200 --> 00:33:09,920
Speaker 2: I yell at my husband all the time, being like

651
00:33:10,040 --> 00:33:11,200
Speaker 2: men used to go to war.

652
00:33:12,840 --> 00:33:15,760
Speaker 1: I did to the ocean.

653
00:33:15,880 --> 00:33:17,360
Speaker 2: You can't even get into cold water.

654
00:33:18,440 --> 00:33:19,280
Speaker 3: Well there's my list.

655
00:33:19,720 --> 00:33:22,680
Speaker 1: Clad. Do you concur with this terribly gendered conversation?

656
00:33:22,760 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 2: Okay, broadly, I believe gender is a construct and we

657
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:30,400
Speaker 2: shouldn't fit into these binary kid categories and we actually don't.

658
00:33:30,720 --> 00:33:32,800
Speaker 2: I am going to raise my daughter and my son

659
00:33:32,960 --> 00:33:36,960
Speaker 2: exactly the same. But if I had to this light

660
00:33:37,080 --> 00:33:38,640
Speaker 2: hearted segment.

661
00:33:39,800 --> 00:33:42,520
Speaker 3: Segment emphasis Also, I do want to say again a

662
00:33:42,560 --> 00:33:45,440
Speaker 3: straight man helped me with my list, then this is.

663
00:33:45,440 --> 00:33:48,720
Speaker 2: What I would say. Hypothetically, Men shouldn't wear backpacks.

664
00:33:48,840 --> 00:33:51,280
Speaker 3: Agree, just kept things in your pocket.

665
00:33:51,360 --> 00:33:54,120
Speaker 1: You could not be what would a man have in

666
00:33:54,160 --> 00:33:55,600
Speaker 1: his back Tell me right now?

667
00:34:00,120 --> 00:34:07,040
Speaker 2: On every day.

668
00:34:04,800 --> 00:34:07,360
Speaker 1: He's got a little backpack and then you put the

669
00:34:07,400 --> 00:34:07,960
Speaker 1: water in it.

670
00:34:08,840 --> 00:34:10,480
Speaker 3: But they leave the house with his backpack.

671
00:34:10,719 --> 00:34:12,680
Speaker 1: What about if they're looking after a child and they

672
00:34:12,719 --> 00:34:14,240
Speaker 1: need to put the nappies in there and stuff?

673
00:34:14,280 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 3: Is that allowed?

674
00:34:15,040 --> 00:34:15,239
Speaker 2: No?

675
00:34:15,320 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 3: I think maybe like a saxul or like hold a

676
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:20,280
Speaker 3: bag with your hand by your side.

677
00:34:20,400 --> 00:34:21,759
Speaker 1: Nothing should touch your shoulders.

678
00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:25,320
Speaker 2: No, no, no, but I agree. It's like your clothes,

679
00:34:25,400 --> 00:34:28,800
Speaker 2: get pockets, owls, drinker pockets. That's why we need bag anyway,

680
00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:37,480
Speaker 2: drink mescato?

681
00:34:40,280 --> 00:34:40,959
Speaker 1: What are you doing?

682
00:34:41,440 --> 00:34:45,000
Speaker 2: What are you doing? Wear pants made out of thin

683
00:34:45,280 --> 00:34:50,040
Speaker 2: fabric like linen? Well like stretch he's in like did

684
00:34:50,080 --> 00:34:50,600
Speaker 2: you see.

685
00:34:50,480 --> 00:34:52,719
Speaker 1: The needed rivalry boys on the red carpet at the

686
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,320
Speaker 1: Vanity fair? Pap Very soon.

687
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:56,640
Speaker 2: I'll have to look at that, I'll have they break

688
00:34:56,680 --> 00:35:01,440
Speaker 2: all the rules. And finally, this is really important. No

689
00:35:01,520 --> 00:35:02,759
Speaker 2: compression socks.

690
00:35:02,760 --> 00:35:05,080
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, what about a long cold flag?

691
00:35:05,320 --> 00:35:05,880
Speaker 2: No?

692
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,360
Speaker 3: No, but look what happened to Logan roy in succession?

693
00:35:09,680 --> 00:35:14,440
Speaker 2: True that it was meant to happen. No deal with

694
00:35:14,480 --> 00:35:14,920
Speaker 2: the risk.

695
00:35:15,080 --> 00:35:19,560
Speaker 1: This is so good. What would you add to the list?

696
00:35:19,600 --> 00:35:23,680
Speaker 1: Only really have one very strongly held feeling, and it explains,

697
00:35:23,719 --> 00:35:26,640
Speaker 1: in my opinion, the end of Nicole Kidman and Nicky

698
00:35:26,719 --> 00:35:30,000
Speaker 1: Surban's marriage. No man should spend more than three minutes

699
00:35:30,000 --> 00:35:33,480
Speaker 1: getting ready to go out. That's it. Any man whose hair,

700
00:35:33,680 --> 00:35:37,799
Speaker 1: whose hair requires wires, sings like I mean, yeah, sure,

701
00:35:37,840 --> 00:35:39,880
Speaker 1: a bit of product, but like requires a lot of

702
00:35:39,960 --> 00:35:42,920
Speaker 1: extra attention. I don't like it. Like, I don't like.

703
00:35:42,920 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 2: That, And I don't want him to have an opinion

704
00:35:44,880 --> 00:35:47,040
Speaker 2: about his hair, you know what I mean. It's like,

705
00:35:47,080 --> 00:35:48,319
Speaker 2: go to the hairdresser, that's fine.

706
00:35:48,400 --> 00:35:51,319
Speaker 1: I have opinions about your hair. That's pretty much the

707
00:35:51,320 --> 00:35:54,480
Speaker 1: only place I draw the line. And like Harry Styles,

708
00:35:54,520 --> 00:35:57,360
Speaker 1: I would excuse that. I would excuse that. But even so,

709
00:35:57,640 --> 00:36:00,239
Speaker 1: like sometimes his hair looks like he's thought about added

710
00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:03,799
Speaker 1: a bit too much. I don't really want people to

711
00:36:03,800 --> 00:36:05,799
Speaker 1: think about it like, I don't want that.

712
00:36:05,880 --> 00:36:07,640
Speaker 3: I say men should just not have head.

713
00:36:08,719 --> 00:36:15,719
Speaker 1: You know, though, I'm being very holy now about this,

714
00:36:15,840 --> 00:36:18,000
Speaker 1: because I'm all like guys, I wanted to do whatever

715
00:36:18,000 --> 00:36:21,280
Speaker 1: they want. But when we were talking about the stomach akes,

716
00:36:21,719 --> 00:36:26,440
Speaker 1: it made me remember a very unedifying incident when I

717
00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,080
Speaker 1: was younger. I was going out with a guy who

718
00:36:28,120 --> 00:36:32,400
Speaker 1: had a peanutalergy and I was really mean about it,

719
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:35,200
Speaker 1: and I'm so sorry to everyone in the world with

720
00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 1: the peanutalergies and dealing with kids with penalogies. But it

721
00:36:37,960 --> 00:36:40,759
Speaker 1: was a different time and we didn't and I specifically

722
00:36:40,840 --> 00:36:44,239
Speaker 1: thought that men do not have foodalergies or special dietary requirements.

723
00:36:44,320 --> 00:36:47,680
Speaker 1: They don't sit in restaurants and ask like, but what's

724
00:36:47,800 --> 00:36:53,919
Speaker 1: in the car? My poor boyfriend, we went up quite

725
00:36:53,920 --> 00:36:56,920
Speaker 1: a long time. He used to always whatever we were ordering,

726
00:36:56,960 --> 00:36:59,600
Speaker 1: like spaghetti bolonnaise, be like, is the peanuts that I'd

727
00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,680
Speaker 1: be like, like, I was so awful, and he's like,

728
00:37:02,719 --> 00:37:04,799
Speaker 1: I guess I'll just die, And I reckon that if

729
00:37:04,840 --> 00:37:07,040
Speaker 1: that was one of my girlfriends, there is no way

730
00:37:07,120 --> 00:37:09,440
Speaker 1: I would have been awful about it. I was nasty.

731
00:37:09,480 --> 00:37:11,279
Speaker 1: And then one day, the poor man we were on

732
00:37:11,320 --> 00:37:14,560
Speaker 1: whole day together in Edinburgh and he ordered a meal

733
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:16,799
Speaker 1: and he was like, does it have peanuts? And I

734
00:37:16,800 --> 00:37:19,160
Speaker 1: was like, forgot's fake? Can we stop talking about peanuts?

735
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,840
Speaker 1: And then he had a really bad clash and I

736
00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:25,719
Speaker 1: was not nice, and I reckon that was my internalized sexism.

737
00:37:25,800 --> 00:37:30,320
Speaker 1: So just be careful out loud as. Please don't cancel

738
00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:35,520
Speaker 1: us for this conversation. Please very wrong and very funny.

739
00:37:36,280 --> 00:37:40,480
Speaker 1: I may die of laughing. I believe you have.

740
00:37:40,520 --> 00:37:45,160
Speaker 2: Something else to tell us about. On almost every episode

741
00:37:45,320 --> 00:37:48,280
Speaker 2: of this podcast, a bit of bts for the listeners,

742
00:37:48,480 --> 00:37:52,719
Speaker 2: I am corrected on my pronunciation of something, and I

743
00:37:52,840 --> 00:37:56,080
Speaker 2: like to think it's because I'm actually so clever that

744
00:37:56,200 --> 00:37:58,480
Speaker 2: I learn most of my words from reading.

745
00:37:58,560 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 1: Oh Jesse says this, yeh Jesse's excuse whenever she mispronounces.

746
00:38:02,520 --> 00:38:04,959
Speaker 1: She says, I've only ever seen that word written down,

747
00:38:05,120 --> 00:38:08,000
Speaker 1: probably the scientific peen.

748
00:38:07,760 --> 00:38:12,200
Speaker 2: Ass, and therefore when I go to say it, I

749
00:38:12,239 --> 00:38:15,839
Speaker 2: guess I'm just surrounded by U plebs. But I do

750
00:38:15,920 --> 00:38:19,040
Speaker 2: get a lot of words slightly wrong. But today I

751
00:38:19,120 --> 00:38:22,160
Speaker 2: learned there's another one to add to the list. An

752
00:38:22,280 --> 00:38:25,919
Speaker 2: article in the Daily Mail begins Australians have been left

753
00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:29,799
Speaker 2: stunned after discovering they may have been pronouncing one of

754
00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:34,640
Speaker 2: the country's most iconic lollies wrong their entire lives. I'd

755
00:38:34,640 --> 00:38:36,200
Speaker 2: like to challenge that. I don't think we're stunned. I

756
00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:38,160
Speaker 2: think we're just like, we just don't.

757
00:38:38,040 --> 00:38:38,839
Speaker 3: Have a lot going on.

758
00:38:39,680 --> 00:38:42,600
Speaker 1: We're trying to avoid the really scary shit in the world.

759
00:38:43,520 --> 00:38:48,960
Speaker 2: What but that lolly is the humble what I would

760
00:38:48,960 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 2: call chop cho.

761
00:38:52,080 --> 00:38:55,239
Speaker 1: I love Choppa chups red ones. When you've got little kids,

762
00:38:55,239 --> 00:38:58,080
Speaker 1: you can like total excuse, like watermelon really good, a

763
00:38:58,160 --> 00:39:00,879
Speaker 1: total excuse to get into the chops because you can

764
00:39:00,920 --> 00:39:03,239
Speaker 1: give them to them for like, oh your is my pop?

765
00:39:03,280 --> 00:39:07,400
Speaker 1: Oh shut up? One for me too, and it's a novelty.

766
00:39:07,640 --> 00:39:12,680
Speaker 2: The colon ones are great but apparently incorrect. We're all

767
00:39:12,719 --> 00:39:19,640
Speaker 2: saying it wrong. Uh, it's actually pronounced super shut up?

768
00:39:20,719 --> 00:39:21,840
Speaker 3: Who says wrong?

769
00:39:22,920 --> 00:39:27,279
Speaker 2: Daily mail is never wrong? And I feel like there

770
00:39:27,320 --> 00:39:29,319
Speaker 2: is new information like this all the time, and it

771
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:32,320
Speaker 2: may just be clever marketing, but I don't mind because,

772
00:39:32,600 --> 00:39:35,479
Speaker 2: for example, did you know, according to a random article

773
00:39:35,520 --> 00:39:39,680
Speaker 2: I found on the internet, Nitella is actually new teller.

774
00:39:41,880 --> 00:39:45,359
Speaker 1: It's been around pages. It's Italian, right, so you guys

775
00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: know that it's good when you say that. Now I

776
00:39:50,239 --> 00:39:50,960
Speaker 1: call it Theella.

777
00:39:51,080 --> 00:39:54,960
Speaker 2: Yes, I think this is just kind of a giveaway

778
00:39:55,000 --> 00:40:00,200
Speaker 2: about just where I exist, like socially. But Porsche is

779
00:40:00,239 --> 00:40:02,440
Speaker 2: actually Porsche.

780
00:40:02,680 --> 00:40:03,400
Speaker 1: Did you know it was?

781
00:40:04,200 --> 00:40:05,040
Speaker 2: I don't think so.

782
00:40:05,360 --> 00:40:08,960
Speaker 1: Did I know? I would definitely say, oh, he's driving

783
00:40:08,960 --> 00:40:09,520
Speaker 1: a Porsche.

784
00:40:09,600 --> 00:40:11,040
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

785
00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:13,000
Speaker 1: I would say Porsche was a name.

786
00:40:13,200 --> 00:40:18,600
Speaker 2: Yeah, me too, And Porsche sounds really wanky. Everybody else

787
00:40:18,640 --> 00:40:20,600
Speaker 2: except me knew this. This is another thing I've only

788
00:40:20,640 --> 00:40:28,959
Speaker 2: read Hermes is omes.

789
00:40:26,760 --> 00:40:29,040
Speaker 1: Only people who need to know that. I know that.

790
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:35,440
Speaker 2: I guess I didn't need to. And volts Wagon, but

791
00:40:35,760 --> 00:40:36,440
Speaker 2: you say.

792
00:40:36,239 --> 00:40:38,360
Speaker 1: That the first time to make sure you're.

793
00:40:38,440 --> 00:40:43,160
Speaker 2: Clearly clearly wrong. Volts Wagon and I don't know where

794
00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: I get the t because there's no tea. But I'm like,

795
00:40:45,880 --> 00:40:58,960
Speaker 2: volts Wagon is no volks Vagan because yeah, voed for audience.

796
00:40:59,440 --> 00:41:01,640
Speaker 3: Sorry it was too.

797
00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:07,000
Speaker 1: Loose to They're like geez IQs are dropping produced.

798
00:41:07,960 --> 00:41:10,960
Speaker 3: ID did a guy who said canapes instead of candidates,

799
00:41:11,520 --> 00:41:13,200
Speaker 3: and it took me a long time to figure out

800
00:41:13,239 --> 00:41:13,839
Speaker 3: what he meant.

801
00:41:14,200 --> 00:41:16,399
Speaker 1: Sometimes you say it as you know how you say

802
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 1: some pronunciations a joke, like and someone will be like.

803
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:20,799
Speaker 1: It's called talk if you're like.

804
00:41:23,920 --> 00:41:25,160
Speaker 3: But now it looks like I didn't.

805
00:41:25,400 --> 00:41:28,040
Speaker 2: I'm being ironic. I genuinely need to know this because

806
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,879
Speaker 2: I heard someone say this years ago and I never

807
00:41:30,040 --> 00:41:33,160
Speaker 2: kind of googled it. The word for you, for you,

808
00:41:33,560 --> 00:41:37,040
Speaker 2: it's not fouryer, I'll meet you.

809
00:41:38,200 --> 00:41:38,359
Speaker 4: Oh.

810
00:41:40,280 --> 00:41:43,120
Speaker 1: People say ship again out loud as I apologize.

811
00:41:44,320 --> 00:41:46,759
Speaker 3: I think I've been saying both. Did I think there

812
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,480
Speaker 3: were two different things? No, surely not.

813
00:41:48,600 --> 00:41:49,200
Speaker 1: Let's move on.

814
00:41:52,120 --> 00:41:52,560
Speaker 4: The break.

815
00:41:54,719 --> 00:42:02,880
Speaker 1: We have some recommendations for your weekend ideas, something casual,

816
00:42:03,040 --> 00:42:08,319
Speaker 1: something fun. This is my best recommendation. It's Friday. We

817
00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:10,799
Speaker 1: need things to tell people about for the weekend. We're

818
00:42:10,800 --> 00:42:15,200
Speaker 1: going to try and be smart. Please everybody. Claire Stevens,

819
00:42:15,239 --> 00:42:17,840
Speaker 1: you're smart. Tell everybody what to watch this weekend.

820
00:42:18,360 --> 00:42:21,839
Speaker 2: So I saw a post from Lee Sales a couple

821
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:22,359
Speaker 2: of weeks ago.

822
00:42:22,600 --> 00:42:23,200
Speaker 1: She's smart.

823
00:42:24,000 --> 00:42:25,600
Speaker 2: I just go to the smart. We're on a good track,

824
00:42:26,800 --> 00:42:31,160
Speaker 2: and she said that that night's episode of Australian Story

825
00:42:31,160 --> 00:42:33,960
Speaker 2: had made her cry harder than any episode ever has.

826
00:42:34,000 --> 00:42:38,000
Speaker 1: Hold on it's a job to say no presents Australian.

827
00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:40,080
Speaker 2: Story exactly, but for her to say that, out of

828
00:42:40,120 --> 00:42:43,560
Speaker 2: all the episodes, I was like, ooh, okay, you're in

829
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:46,000
Speaker 2: and so all the comment it got massive engagement. People

830
00:42:46,000 --> 00:42:47,920
Speaker 2: are commenting, and so I sort of put it to

831
00:42:47,920 --> 00:42:50,000
Speaker 2: the side because I was like, hmmm, I don't know

832
00:42:50,040 --> 00:42:52,600
Speaker 2: if I can do with a big cry right.

833
00:42:52,400 --> 00:42:54,960
Speaker 1: Now, but sometimes you need one exactly.

834
00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:57,360
Speaker 2: So I put it aside for a couple of weeks.

835
00:42:58,360 --> 00:43:00,759
Speaker 2: But then I knew I had to watch it because

836
00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:04,680
Speaker 2: it's called Raising Richard, and it's about a seventy two

837
00:43:04,840 --> 00:43:08,279
Speaker 2: year old Perth mum Didri Croft as she confronts the

838
00:43:08,360 --> 00:43:11,759
Speaker 2: question of who's going to care for her intellectually disabled son,

839
00:43:12,000 --> 00:43:16,160
Speaker 2: Richard when she no longer can yes. And so what's

840
00:43:16,440 --> 00:43:20,640
Speaker 2: incredible about this story is that this filmmaker, Andrew Wiseman,

841
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:25,759
Speaker 2: has documented their life for more than three decades, so

842
00:43:25,800 --> 00:43:30,040
Speaker 2: from when Richard was ten, and both Wiseman and Croft

843
00:43:30,239 --> 00:43:34,680
Speaker 2: really wanted to present an honest and raw but humanizing

844
00:43:35,000 --> 00:43:39,239
Speaker 2: picture of Richard, which three decades ago was pretty frickin revolutionary.

845
00:43:39,920 --> 00:43:45,240
Speaker 2: And so when Richard was younger, there were confronting public meltdowns,

846
00:43:45,920 --> 00:43:48,880
Speaker 2: there was a bit of violence towards his mum when

847
00:43:48,920 --> 00:43:52,319
Speaker 2: he sort of was overwhelmed by emotion. But she really

848
00:43:52,400 --> 00:43:55,560
Speaker 2: wanted to show that these things were not his fault

849
00:43:55,880 --> 00:43:59,520
Speaker 2: and that there was a lot of nuance to his

850
00:44:00,000 --> 00:44:06,239
Speaker 2: emotional experience. So what got me was that Richard's mum

851
00:44:06,360 --> 00:44:08,120
Speaker 2: put him in a group home a few years ago

852
00:44:08,160 --> 00:44:11,240
Speaker 2: because physically she was unable to care for him anymore.

853
00:44:11,320 --> 00:44:15,040
Speaker 2: She's getting older, he's a big guy, and just in

854
00:44:15,160 --> 00:44:17,440
Speaker 2: terms of the physical work of looking after him, she

855
00:44:17,440 --> 00:44:19,760
Speaker 2: couldn't do it. So she put him in care. Things

856
00:44:19,760 --> 00:44:25,360
Speaker 2: looked absolutely great, and then it deteriorated and basically he

857
00:44:25,520 --> 00:44:29,560
Speaker 2: was hospitalized multiple times, even though his physical health seemed

858
00:44:29,560 --> 00:44:35,160
Speaker 2: to be okay. And what she's clearly dealing with is

859
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:38,920
Speaker 2: that he has no way of expressing what distressed him

860
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:43,080
Speaker 2: or how he was feeling. And the reason this got

861
00:44:43,080 --> 00:44:45,600
Speaker 2: me is because we've had a very similar experience in

862
00:44:45,640 --> 00:44:49,759
Speaker 2: our family with my cousin in a group home where

863
00:44:50,040 --> 00:44:55,680
Speaker 2: something clearly pretty rufic happened, and the fact that they

864
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:59,200
Speaker 2: can't tell you exactly what it was, but you see

865
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 2: the toll them is just so devastating. So Deirdre, the

866
00:45:04,760 --> 00:45:08,160
Speaker 2: thing I absolutely loved about this Australian story and about

867
00:45:08,160 --> 00:45:12,480
Speaker 2: her is that she's not a martyr, and it's not

868
00:45:12,520 --> 00:45:16,839
Speaker 2: about being a martyr, and it doesn't romanticize disability. And

869
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:22,640
Speaker 2: she is currently because she's aging, she's currently filming all

870
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:25,319
Speaker 2: these videos for Richard for when she goes, because he

871
00:45:25,320 --> 00:45:29,400
Speaker 2: obviously doesn't have an understanding of mortality of what happens

872
00:45:29,400 --> 00:45:32,960
Speaker 2: after somebody dies. So she's filming all these videos just

873
00:45:33,000 --> 00:45:35,160
Speaker 2: telling him that she loves him and she's proud of him.

874
00:45:35,680 --> 00:45:39,719
Speaker 2: And it's just I just sobbed and sobbed. But I

875
00:45:39,760 --> 00:45:42,400
Speaker 2: think this is really important for people to watch when

876
00:45:42,440 --> 00:45:45,000
Speaker 2: it comes to the question of what happens to people

877
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:48,839
Speaker 2: with intellectual disabilities as they become adults and as their

878
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:52,400
Speaker 2: caregivers become older and can no longer care for them.

879
00:45:52,719 --> 00:45:56,439
Speaker 2: It's a big question for Australia and a really confronting one,

880
00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:58,160
Speaker 2: and this episode.

881
00:45:57,760 --> 00:46:02,640
Speaker 1: Is just the story. Stories of carers are not told

882
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:06,520
Speaker 1: very often because it's seen as almost like a sacred

883
00:46:06,600 --> 00:46:09,080
Speaker 1: duty that you would look after your child no matter

884
00:46:09,120 --> 00:46:13,640
Speaker 1: what or whoever. But it's an enormous responsibility that comes

885
00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:16,640
Speaker 1: with so much difficulty, and so any story that kind

886
00:46:16,640 --> 00:46:20,279
Speaker 1: of shows that ye as well as asks these questions

887
00:46:20,280 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 1: of like why is this always a personal responsibility? Is

888
00:46:23,320 --> 00:46:26,840
Speaker 1: really yeah, Okay, you've I don't know, I'm going to

889
00:46:26,880 --> 00:46:29,760
Speaker 1: have to save that for a particularly emotionally robust moment,

890
00:46:29,800 --> 00:46:33,120
Speaker 1: but it sounds incredible. I'm going to change the mood.

891
00:46:33,960 --> 00:46:36,200
Speaker 1: I'm going to talk to you about my eyebags.

892
00:46:37,239 --> 00:46:38,960
Speaker 3: I know exactly what it's going to recommend.

893
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:43,560
Speaker 1: So last Friday, my friend Emily Vernon and I were

894
00:46:43,600 --> 00:46:47,240
Speaker 1: on a shoot. We were doing a shoot for Shkoda Shoda,

895
00:46:47,920 --> 00:46:50,680
Speaker 1: and we spent the day like we got our makeup

896
00:46:50,719 --> 00:46:55,000
Speaker 1: done because we were being very fancy. And the makeup

897
00:46:55,080 --> 00:46:57,600
Speaker 1: artist who did us called Amy, and she was brilliant.

898
00:46:57,640 --> 00:47:03,120
Speaker 3: Makeupis are always brilliants. She only uses like K beauty products.

899
00:47:03,280 --> 00:47:06,080
Speaker 3: She knows exactly what product you use on exactly the

900
00:47:06,120 --> 00:47:07,399
Speaker 3: type of persons. Oh my god.

901
00:47:07,719 --> 00:47:10,440
Speaker 1: She was so great. Absolutely, And when you get your

902
00:47:10,480 --> 00:47:13,560
Speaker 1: face done, you suddenly realize, you know, all the famous

903
00:47:13,560 --> 00:47:15,560
Speaker 1: people were seeing on the red carpets and everything, like,

904
00:47:16,520 --> 00:47:20,479
Speaker 1: nobody looks like that. I look almost like I could

905
00:47:20,480 --> 00:47:22,520
Speaker 1: be on the Oscars Red carpet. After Amy's been at

906
00:47:22,520 --> 00:47:25,520
Speaker 1: me for like an hour. Yeah, anyway, I look.

907
00:47:25,400 --> 00:47:27,680
Speaker 3: Like I had a what they called buckle fat removal.

908
00:47:31,120 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 1: I'll put a picture in em and I obviously took

909
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:35,000
Speaker 1: lots of selfies because we liked how hot we looked.

910
00:47:35,040 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 1: We We're just like, yes, anyway, The point is not

911
00:47:37,760 --> 00:47:40,840
Speaker 1: about that. The point is about that. One of the

912
00:47:40,880 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 1: things is when you, if you're ever lucky enough to

913
00:47:42,360 --> 00:47:44,680
Speaker 1: get your makeup done, I always like quiz for tips.

914
00:47:44,719 --> 00:47:46,359
Speaker 1: So I'm like, what are you doing? What are you using?

915
00:47:46,400 --> 00:47:48,480
Speaker 1: Blah blah blah blah blah. So two things that have

916
00:47:48,560 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 1: changed my life from Amy my under eye circles. I

917
00:47:52,480 --> 00:47:54,879
Speaker 1: have never before used a color corrector. Do you ever

918
00:47:54,960 --> 00:47:57,560
Speaker 1: use a color corrector? I do, and of course she do,

919
00:47:57,640 --> 00:48:00,239
Speaker 1: because she's very clever like that. But I just my

920
00:48:00,280 --> 00:48:02,680
Speaker 1: conceiler and I've got my favorite concealer I've recommended before.

921
00:48:02,800 --> 00:48:06,000
Speaker 1: It's Lorel True Match. It's not expensive, it's brilliant. I

922
00:48:06,080 --> 00:48:08,759
Speaker 1: use the serum one. But she's like, no, no, no,

923
00:48:09,040 --> 00:48:10,200
Speaker 1: darlt with those.

924
00:48:10,000 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 3: Dark exactly how she talked. She's like, what are you doing?

925
00:48:12,960 --> 00:48:15,319
Speaker 1: She was like, you need to put color corrector on

926
00:48:15,360 --> 00:48:17,480
Speaker 1: before you do the CONCEIALA And she told me about

927
00:48:17,520 --> 00:48:19,839
Speaker 1: this one. I bought a bit of an exy one.

928
00:48:19,880 --> 00:48:22,680
Speaker 1: It's a tart shape tape. I bought the peach one.

929
00:48:22,760 --> 00:48:24,120
Speaker 1: But there are lots of June.

930
00:48:24,160 --> 00:48:25,839
Speaker 3: You can get the green and red, like different colors

931
00:48:25,840 --> 00:48:26,920
Speaker 3: depending on your scale.

932
00:48:26,680 --> 00:48:28,319
Speaker 1: On your skin tone. And she said to me, you

933
00:48:28,360 --> 00:48:31,440
Speaker 1: need peach. So I've started putting that on a little bit,

934
00:48:31,560 --> 00:48:33,200
Speaker 1: letting it set in a bit before I put my

935
00:48:33,239 --> 00:48:35,759
Speaker 1: conceil on, and I reckon, it's better, I know. And

936
00:48:35,800 --> 00:48:37,680
Speaker 1: then the other things she did to me. And I'm

937
00:48:37,719 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 1: not necessarily recommending this because I googled and there are

938
00:48:40,400 --> 00:48:45,560
Speaker 1: are some downsides. But she taped my eyes open.

939
00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,680
Speaker 2: It's wild because you said this, and I was imagining

940
00:48:50,120 --> 00:48:53,920
Speaker 2: you with like strings like coming from your hair and

941
00:48:53,960 --> 00:48:56,320
Speaker 2: being a Kardashian, And then when I saw a photo,

942
00:48:56,360 --> 00:48:57,560
Speaker 2: I was like, I can't see anything.

943
00:48:57,640 --> 00:49:00,600
Speaker 1: So she used those eyelid strips. Now they're really big

944
00:49:00,680 --> 00:49:03,719
Speaker 1: in Asia where people might be trying to fix in

945
00:49:03,719 --> 00:49:06,759
Speaker 1: inverted commas like hooded eyes. Right, Like, it's a very

946
00:49:07,840 --> 00:49:10,960
Speaker 1: subjective beauty standard about whether or not your eyes should

947
00:49:10,960 --> 00:49:14,600
Speaker 1: be hooded, but clearly for older women, your eyes become

948
00:49:14,680 --> 00:49:17,600
Speaker 1: more hooded for many of us, right and basically you're

949
00:49:17,719 --> 00:49:21,319
Speaker 1: like eyelid stuff down, get more hooded? What's like what

950
00:49:21,960 --> 00:49:24,640
Speaker 1: you just It's just gravity, baby, It's just it's just

951
00:49:24,680 --> 00:49:27,960
Speaker 1: gravity doing its thing. It's just everything's just think of

952
00:49:27,960 --> 00:49:35,240
Speaker 1: it as everything's just slowly slide brows. Look, it's fine.

953
00:49:35,239 --> 00:49:37,879
Speaker 1: They're all just having a little chill. But some done

954
00:49:37,920 --> 00:49:40,640
Speaker 1: a lot of work, a lot of word like lifting

955
00:49:40,719 --> 00:49:43,120
Speaker 1: up and what the like, a lot of that, a

956
00:49:43,200 --> 00:49:46,520
Speaker 1: lot of is anyway, and so they're slowly having little

957
00:49:46,600 --> 00:49:50,239
Speaker 1: lie down. And what Amy did is she had this

958
00:49:50,239 --> 00:49:51,960
Speaker 1: this island tape and you put it in like the

959
00:49:52,040 --> 00:49:55,000
Speaker 1: crease of your eyes here, just really little and you

960
00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:57,400
Speaker 1: can't see it, and you can put eyeshadow over it,

961
00:49:57,440 --> 00:50:00,680
Speaker 1: and it just immediately makes you like a bit more. Yeah,

962
00:50:00,760 --> 00:50:01,239
Speaker 1: eyes open.

963
00:50:01,320 --> 00:50:02,759
Speaker 3: We didn't even realize she was putting it on you

964
00:50:02,760 --> 00:50:05,319
Speaker 3: because we were having a conversation hit chatting away and

965
00:50:05,320 --> 00:50:06,000
Speaker 3: I was like, what's that.

966
00:50:07,160 --> 00:50:10,920
Speaker 1: I'm like, look at me, I am emma stone up

967
00:50:10,920 --> 00:50:14,840
Speaker 1: in here. And so I'm not necessarily recommending that, friends,

968
00:50:14,880 --> 00:50:16,799
Speaker 1: but I'm just putting it out there that I learned

969
00:50:16,840 --> 00:50:18,919
Speaker 1: a couple of things about my eyes that didn't involve

970
00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,839
Speaker 1: a knife on the weekend on Friday. In fact, that

971
00:50:22,080 --> 00:50:24,160
Speaker 1: was a very useful. So yeah, color correct. I'll put

972
00:50:24,200 --> 00:50:26,319
Speaker 1: a link in I tape. You do you.

973
00:50:27,760 --> 00:50:30,520
Speaker 3: What have you got for a sem I have a

974
00:50:30,560 --> 00:50:34,919
Speaker 3: movie recommendation that's in cinema's right now. I have been

975
00:50:34,960 --> 00:50:38,280
Speaker 3: told by many people that I have the same movie

976
00:50:38,360 --> 00:50:40,520
Speaker 3: and TV show taste as a nine year old boy,

977
00:50:40,640 --> 00:50:43,080
Speaker 3: which is great, and this one fits right into that.

978
00:50:43,560 --> 00:50:46,680
Speaker 3: So I rarely recommend movies where you have to go

979
00:50:46,719 --> 00:50:49,160
Speaker 3: to the cinema to watch, because cinema tickets are so

980
00:50:49,320 --> 00:50:52,520
Speaker 3: bloody expensive now. So this I want people to go

981
00:50:52,560 --> 00:50:56,000
Speaker 3: see it because it is a cinematic masterpiece. It's Ryan

982
00:50:56,040 --> 00:50:59,560
Speaker 3: Gosling's new movie. It's called Project Hail Mary.

983
00:51:00,040 --> 00:51:02,440
Speaker 1: Really like Ryan Gosling? Is there any reason for us

984
00:51:02,520 --> 00:51:05,760
Speaker 1: not to like Ryan Gore? Has he done anything anything

985
00:51:05,760 --> 00:51:08,160
Speaker 1: we need to know? Problematic, troublesome? We are allowed to

986
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:08,920
Speaker 1: like him absolutely.

987
00:51:09,160 --> 00:51:10,720
Speaker 3: Recently Hard launched his wife.

988
00:51:10,920 --> 00:51:13,799
Speaker 1: Yes, I know, I love that. Yeah, I love They've

989
00:51:13,800 --> 00:51:16,520
Speaker 1: been together for ages and ages and generally they're pretty

990
00:51:16,760 --> 00:51:18,879
Speaker 1: chill about it. Yeah, you've never seen them together ever,

991
00:51:18,960 --> 00:51:21,920
Speaker 1: and she's really fun and you're good glad. I'm glad

992
00:51:21,960 --> 00:51:24,480
Speaker 1: we're still allowed to because I love it. Will La

993
00:51:24,560 --> 00:51:24,840
Speaker 1: la la.

994
00:51:25,080 --> 00:51:31,520
Speaker 2: He's a good ex boyfriend mccadams and like he's just

995
00:51:31,560 --> 00:51:32,120
Speaker 2: a cheerleader.

996
00:51:32,239 --> 00:51:34,840
Speaker 1: The date, Yes, that notebook.

997
00:51:34,920 --> 00:51:38,359
Speaker 2: They hate each other during film, and then they got together.

998
00:51:38,080 --> 00:51:40,719
Speaker 1: After it and then they're like nice. They're still like

999
00:51:40,800 --> 00:51:43,120
Speaker 1: nice to each other. So, Okay, we've.

1000
00:51:42,880 --> 00:51:45,240
Speaker 2: Decided a commission non problematic.

1001
00:51:45,480 --> 00:51:48,560
Speaker 1: And his SNL thing the other week was very funny,

1002
00:51:48,760 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 1: very funny, very funny.

1003
00:51:49,960 --> 00:51:53,280
Speaker 3: Anyway, this is like old school Ryan Gosling in action movie.

1004
00:51:53,400 --> 00:51:56,680
Speaker 3: So he plays this high school science teacher and the

1005
00:51:56,719 --> 00:51:59,960
Speaker 3: movie starts off with him waking up on a rock

1006
00:52:00,520 --> 00:52:04,600
Speaker 3: in space, not knowing who he is, why he's in space,

1007
00:52:04,719 --> 00:52:07,239
Speaker 3: what he's meant to do in space, and you see

1008
00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:10,640
Speaker 3: him kind of like figure out what his purpose really is.

1009
00:52:10,760 --> 00:52:14,640
Speaker 1: Am a man allowed to go to space? In fact,

1010
00:52:14,680 --> 00:52:16,000
Speaker 1: I think they should all go.

1011
00:52:19,680 --> 00:52:20,799
Speaker 3: Just go see what's health there.

1012
00:52:20,920 --> 00:52:22,720
Speaker 2: It's like jury g but like.

1013
00:52:24,640 --> 00:52:28,600
Speaker 3: We'll be down here fixing everything. You guys, go do

1014
00:52:28,680 --> 00:52:32,240
Speaker 3: your thing. Okays in spacelings in space, and it jumps

1015
00:52:32,280 --> 00:52:34,719
Speaker 3: back and forth of him on Earth just before going

1016
00:52:34,760 --> 00:52:36,520
Speaker 3: to space, so you kind of like piece together why

1017
00:52:36,560 --> 00:52:40,000
Speaker 3: he's there. Very early in the film. This isn't spoilers,

1018
00:52:40,000 --> 00:52:43,320
Speaker 3: we find out that the Earth is being the Earth,

1019
00:52:43,480 --> 00:52:46,399
Speaker 3: the Sun, the Sorry, this is a very scientif movie.

1020
00:52:48,120 --> 00:52:50,560
Speaker 3: Please please take a science person with you when you

1021
00:52:50,560 --> 00:52:55,399
Speaker 3: go watch it the Earth sun is being eaten by

1022
00:52:55,680 --> 00:52:57,880
Speaker 3: a substance and no one can figure out what it is.

1023
00:52:58,160 --> 00:53:00,399
Speaker 3: So then Ryan figures out very quickly that's his job.

1024
00:53:00,520 --> 00:53:02,080
Speaker 3: That's the reason why he's in space, because he's a

1025
00:53:02,120 --> 00:53:05,600
Speaker 3: high school science stage. And then it just gets very

1026
00:53:05,680 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 3: very action y. It's very very cinematography. It's very very

1027
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:10,640
Speaker 3: extra terrestrially.

1028
00:53:12,280 --> 00:53:13,719
Speaker 1: Is he like the only human in it?

1029
00:53:14,520 --> 00:53:14,600
Speaker 4: No?

1030
00:53:14,840 --> 00:53:16,839
Speaker 1: Is it Ryan Gosling one man show? No?

1031
00:53:16,840 --> 00:53:19,319
Speaker 3: No, there are other people around, but he's like the guy.

1032
00:53:20,120 --> 00:53:23,080
Speaker 3: It's just one of those really fun, fast paced movies.

1033
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:24,759
Speaker 3: It's also gets a bit like Emoshi.

1034
00:53:26,080 --> 00:53:28,080
Speaker 1: It sounds like something I need.

1035
00:53:30,040 --> 00:53:30,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, you can take.

1036
00:53:30,640 --> 00:53:34,080
Speaker 1: It's like a rules are allowed to go movies about space.

1037
00:53:34,120 --> 00:53:36,080
Speaker 3: Girls are allowed to go to movies about space, and

1038
00:53:36,080 --> 00:53:37,880
Speaker 3: they're also allowed to go to space if they want to.

1039
00:53:38,440 --> 00:53:42,040
Speaker 3: It's up to them, are allowed to.

1040
00:53:42,440 --> 00:53:43,600
Speaker 2: They do get a choice.

1041
00:53:44,200 --> 00:53:45,960
Speaker 3: But it's just like such a fun movie. I would

1042
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:48,719
Speaker 3: compare it to like a fun version of Interstellar.

1043
00:53:49,200 --> 00:53:50,919
Speaker 2: Yeah, because Interstellar wasn't fun.

1044
00:53:51,000 --> 00:53:51,919
Speaker 1: No, too bad?

1045
00:53:52,000 --> 00:53:54,320
Speaker 3: Too much, too much is happening. You're not going to

1046
00:53:54,400 --> 00:53:55,480
Speaker 3: be sad after watching it.

1047
00:53:55,520 --> 00:53:56,279
Speaker 1: What's it called again?

1048
00:53:56,600 --> 00:53:57,960
Speaker 3: Project Hail Mary.

1049
00:53:57,800 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 1: And it's in all good cinemas now also.

1050
00:54:00,080 --> 00:54:02,320
Speaker 3: Themes right now you know what, go see it in

1051
00:54:02,360 --> 00:54:02,960
Speaker 3: the imax.

1052
00:54:04,440 --> 00:54:07,800
Speaker 1: Take out a mortgage in a week of the interst

1053
00:54:07,920 --> 00:54:11,240
Speaker 1: rate right and screw petrol.

1054
00:54:11,760 --> 00:54:16,480
Speaker 3: See this on the tramps. If you're a man, walk

1055
00:54:16,520 --> 00:54:18,799
Speaker 3: to the wal I'll be walking.

1056
00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:22,440
Speaker 1: For a long time. Okay, Well, look we Friday. That

1057
00:54:22,560 --> 00:54:26,440
Speaker 1: didn't we? That was it was a bit loose. I

1058
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:29,200
Speaker 1: hope everybody is having a good Friday. I hope you're

1059
00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:31,799
Speaker 1: all easing into the weekend if you get one. And

1060
00:54:32,800 --> 00:54:34,640
Speaker 1: thank you so much for making us number one show

1061
00:54:34,640 --> 00:54:37,880
Speaker 1: in Australia for the second month running. We will be

1062
00:54:37,920 --> 00:54:40,959
Speaker 1: back in your ears next week. Please thank our marvelous team,

1063
00:54:41,080 --> 00:54:42,719
Speaker 1: my friends.

1064
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:48,720
Speaker 2: Our group executive producer Ruth Divine, our executive producer Tasha Tasha, our.

1065
00:54:49,920 --> 00:54:53,319
Speaker 1: Executive she has implored my name, I was.

1066
00:54:53,239 --> 00:54:58,680
Speaker 2: Gonna say Tasha Sana executive producer Sasha Tanic, Our senior

1067
00:54:58,800 --> 00:55:02,800
Speaker 2: audio producer is Lea Porges, video producer is Josh Green,

1068
00:55:02,920 --> 00:55:05,880
Speaker 2: and our junior content producer is Tessa Kotovich.

1069
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:09,120
Speaker 3: Mama Miya acknowledges the traditional owners of the land on

1070
00:55:09,160 --> 00:55:12,480
Speaker 3: which we have recorded this podcast Byey