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Speaker 1: You're listening to a Muma Mia podcast. Mamma May I

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Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters that

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Speaker 1: this podcast is recorded on. I'm a Shiny Dante, host

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Speaker 1: of But Are You Happy? Did you know that one

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Speaker 1: in five Australians experience and mental health condition each year,

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Speaker 1: yet too many suffer in silence. Talking about our feelings

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Speaker 1: and experiences is one of the most powerful steps towards

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Speaker 1: healing and knowing we're not alone. That's why we're introducing

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Speaker 1: I Never Told You This, a series created to spark honest,

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Speaker 1: meaningful conversations that support better mental well being. Brought to

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Speaker 1: you by Medibank, this episode discusses mental illness and death.

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Speaker 1: Please listen with care and if it feels too much

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Speaker 1: right now, you're warmly encouraged to skip this one or

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Speaker 1: come back to this episode whenever you're ready.

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Speaker 2: I don't usually like talking about myself because I'd rather

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Speaker 2: they attention on other people.

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Speaker 3: Two people reveal I Never Told You This, a simple

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Speaker 3: card game where one question could change everything. It starts like,

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Speaker 3: what's more things brings?

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Speaker 1: I'm not going to answer that.

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Speaker 3: Then comes the moment that could shift a relationship forever.

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Speaker 3: As they finished this sentence.

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Speaker 1: I never told you this.

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Speaker 2: I've never told you.

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Speaker 4: They never told you this.

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Speaker 3: Today, mother and daughter, Vicky and Chloe will be sitting

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Speaker 3: down together.

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Speaker 5: She's coming in in a few moments time, and I'm

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Speaker 5: feeling very apprehensive because I've never told her this before.

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Speaker 3: Vicky has something big to reveal to her daughter, and.

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Speaker 5: I'm feeling a little bit nervous. Okay, so we're going

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Speaker 5: to play a card game together. It's designed by Medibank

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Speaker 5: to spark conversations between families, so it's called Family Roast.

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Speaker 5: Be ready, Yeah, So I'm going to pick up the

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Speaker 5: first card. What personality trait do you most admire about me?

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Speaker 3: Oh?

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Speaker 4: I would say that you're very energetic and welcoming. So

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Speaker 4: everyone that I introduce you to, and all my friends,

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Speaker 4: I can always make effort to get to know them.

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Speaker 1: Thank you.

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Speaker 4: What's more, thing in your daily life brings you joy? Routine?

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Speaker 5: Is that a trait that you shared?

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Speaker 4: No, I think I have routine in my life, but

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Speaker 4: I don't think I'm a very routined person. I'm very

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Speaker 4: last minute with things compared to me.

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Speaker 5: Okay, but what brings you joy?

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Speaker 4: Spending time with people rather than maybe life admin that

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Speaker 4: I should be prioritizing. Tell us something you're grateful for

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Speaker 4: in this family.

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Speaker 5: When we had someone pass that was very close to us,

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Speaker 5: my son, your brother, coming out as a family afterwards, yeah,

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Speaker 5: means that we appreciate everything. So I appreciate every each

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Speaker 5: and every one of you. Okay, this is for me

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Speaker 5: that I never told you this.

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Speaker 2: Cool.

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Speaker 5: So, Chloe, you went to a prestigious school, and as

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Speaker 5: you know, I went to the same school. What I

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Speaker 5: never told you was that I was suspended from that school.

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Speaker 4: You were suspended. Wait, you're actually suspended.

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Speaker 5: I was naughty pretty much from the time I arrived

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Speaker 5: at the school until the time I left, and all

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Speaker 5: the teachers said, oh, we remember your mum, and she

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Speaker 5: was so good here. They were lying. It was probably

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Speaker 5: a surprise to them and to me when I returned

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Speaker 5: with my daughters to the same school.

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Speaker 4: That's crazy. It makes so much sense, though in a

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Speaker 4: weird way, because there's times where I'm like, no, I

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Speaker 4: would never send my daughter there growing up, and You're like, no,

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Speaker 4: you will, and I'm like, what do you mean.

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Speaker 5: I guess one of the reasons why I never told

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Speaker 5: you about my history at school was because I was

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Speaker 5: a little bit ashamed about it. I mean, nobody likes

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Speaker 5: to be proud about their behavior if it's not respectful.

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Speaker 5: Going to boarding school having my parents being in North

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Speaker 5: Queensland made me feel really lost and isolated. I didn't

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Speaker 5: know anyone and I didn't really understand, and I wasn't

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Speaker 5: adopt a child, so I was confused that mom and

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Speaker 5: dad adopted me and now I was going away to

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Speaker 5: a boarding school, so I was a little bit lost.

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Speaker 3: For a while.

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Speaker 5: I did feel guilty while you were at school because

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Speaker 5: I knew that you weren't happy. Yeah, And I remember

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Speaker 5: the first day you were going when I had my

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Speaker 5: hand and I was just pushing you into the bast Yeah.

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Speaker 5: But I was worried that you would do what I

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Speaker 5: did and lose this opportunity because I know how bright

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Speaker 5: you are and I felt like I gave them away,

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Speaker 5: and so perhaps I was pushing onto you. I didn't

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Speaker 5: want you to lose those opportunities as well, and I

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Speaker 5: think you know them now that you're an adult.

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Speaker 1: The rest of this episode of I never told you

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Speaker 1: this right after the break.

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Speaker 4: So I've always known that you were adopted growing up,

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Speaker 4: but I don't really know at what age you found

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Speaker 4: out that you were adopted.

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Speaker 5: So when I was about eight, my parents sat us

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Speaker 5: down and told my brother and I that were adopted.

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Speaker 5: Made me feel, on one hand, love, but on the

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Speaker 5: other hand rejected as well. It all kind of makes sense,

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Speaker 5: but at the same time, it doesn't make sense because

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Speaker 5: so now I've got this whole gamut of questions, which

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Speaker 5: ione then discovered who my birth parents were when I

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Speaker 5: was twenty one. I don't think I've told you this either,

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Speaker 5: but one of the things that I found really difficult

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Speaker 5: with the adoption was my mother never had a period.

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Speaker 5: She was sterilized very young, and so when I had

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Speaker 5: my period, she didn't understand. She didn't explain anything to me.

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Speaker 5: I was fifteen by the time I got my period,

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Speaker 5: and everyone else had got it. I'd have to ask

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Speaker 5: the other girls. I was embarrassed about it. There was

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Speaker 5: a lot for me to discover and find out for myself.

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Speaker 5: One of the things that we haven't discussed is having

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Speaker 5: a brother that was mentally ill, and how that impacted

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Speaker 5: how you grew up and how you were going at

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Speaker 5: school and those sorts of things that you were trying

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Speaker 5: to deal with. How was it for you having a

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Speaker 5: brother that was seriously ill. Did you feel isolated?

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Speaker 2: I think I felt sad.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it is like a really sad thing to see

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Speaker 4: someone else go through and not be able to help them.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, But at the same time we're talking about you.

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Speaker 5: You were only a child watching this must have been

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Speaker 5: very difficult looking back on your childhood to be able

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Speaker 5: to say to your friends, my brother's suffering from mental

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Speaker 5: health issues and he's in hospital this weekend, and that's

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Speaker 5: what we did all weekend.

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Speaker 3: No no one knew.

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Speaker 5: No one knew, so you couldn't talk to anyone about it.

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Speaker 4: Like, I just hated school. It took me an hour

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Speaker 4: and forty minutes to get there every single day, private

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Speaker 4: school environment where there were rules that I kind of

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Speaker 4: was rebelling against. And then a brother who was ill,

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Speaker 4: and not having anyone at school.

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Speaker 3: Know about that.

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Speaker 2: Like I don't usually like talking about myself because I'd

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Speaker 2: rather any attention being on other people, which is also

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Speaker 2: why I'm quite emotional. I guess at the time, it

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Speaker 2: definitely was quite scary and isolating.

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Speaker 5: Looking back, I wish that I'd been there, yeah, to

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Speaker 5: help you during that time. That's okay, I think I

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Speaker 5: don't I think that my time and attention was trying

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Speaker 5: to understand what was going on with him, and then

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Speaker 5: unfortunately the other siblings miss out a little bit. Yeah,

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, but thank you for saying that.

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Speaker 5: And one of the things that I couldn't control was

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Speaker 5: that on the night he passed away, the police told

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Speaker 5: you and I wasn't home.

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Speaker 2: Come here, that you couldn't control that at all.

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Speaker 4: It makes me feel closer to you that you were

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Speaker 4: also struggling during the same period that I was struggling.

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Speaker 5: Because the sparked the conversations that we didn't have when

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Speaker 5: we were going through it. Yeah, I think that we

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Speaker 5: both wish that we'd had. I think that that would

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Speaker 5: have helped us a little bit more.

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Speaker 4: How do you feel, I feel better, Like I think

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Speaker 4: it's always good talking about those kind of things, especially

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Speaker 4: because I don't think we usually do.

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Speaker 3: I think I love you so much as difficult

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Speaker 5: MHM.