WEBVTT - "I'm Looking For A Man In Finance" 0:00:10.327 --> 0:00:13.047 You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast. 0:00:13.727 --> 0:00:16.767 Mamma Mere acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters 0:00:16.807 --> 0:00:23.487 that this podcast is recorded on Hello and welcome to 0:00:23.567 --> 0:00:26.567 Mama Mia out Loud and to our Friday show where 0:00:26.647 --> 0:00:31.047 we take a deliberate step back from the news Today. Friends, 0:00:31.167 --> 0:00:32.847 It's Friday, the twenty first of June. 0:00:32.927 --> 0:00:35.447 I'm Hollywayne, right, I'm Me Friedman. 0:00:35.247 --> 0:00:38.207 And I'm in Vernon filling in for Jesse today. Last one. 0:00:38.607 --> 0:00:41.127 Can't wait for her to come back. I'm tired of 0:00:41.127 --> 0:00:41.807 talking to you guys. 0:00:41.927 --> 0:00:45.167 Oh you need more days off? I get the flu again. 0:00:45.647 --> 0:00:48.567 We'll just sign off on it before we get started 0:00:48.567 --> 0:00:50.807 on the show today. And what was your favorite conversation 0:00:50.887 --> 0:00:51.927 from the Spill this week? 0:00:52.247 --> 0:00:55.007 My favorite conversation from the Spill this week is probably 0:00:55.007 --> 0:00:57.047 earlier in the week. We talked about Nikola cock When 0:00:57.087 --> 0:00:58.367 did you see her Skims campaign? 0:00:58.607 --> 0:00:58.847 Yes? 0:00:58.927 --> 0:00:59.287 I did. 0:00:59.487 --> 0:01:01.687 We talked about that as well as the entire big 0:01:01.727 --> 0:01:05.047 brand machine of Skims in general, and we also talked 0:01:05.047 --> 0:01:08.007 about Armie Hammer's return in the wood again. 0:01:08.127 --> 0:01:09.887 Yeah, he lit a bit of you know what's funny 0:01:09.887 --> 0:01:12.727 about Nicola Coglan, who we talked about on Monday's show. 0:01:13.287 --> 0:01:15.767 I was thinking that the difference in the way she's 0:01:15.767 --> 0:01:19.167 being portrayed, even in this Skins campaign, it's through the 0:01:19.167 --> 0:01:23.047 male gaze, which you know, I don't usually like when 0:01:23.087 --> 0:01:26.887 you are subverting beauty standards and the beauty standards that 0:01:27.247 --> 0:01:29.447 tend to be very limited as she is. 0:01:30.407 --> 0:01:32.687 I actually think that's what makes it refreshing. 0:01:33.607 --> 0:01:35.607 I don't even think of that. Yeah, but she did 0:01:35.647 --> 0:01:37.967 look stunning in the loundre that body Congress. 0:01:38.007 --> 0:01:38.327 I bought it. 0:01:38.407 --> 0:01:39.567 She looked, did you buy it? 0:01:39.767 --> 0:01:40.687 Well, I'm on the wait list. 0:01:40.687 --> 0:01:42.447 Did Nichola Cocklin make you buy it? 0:01:43.727 --> 0:01:45.087 Holly who was on Mid this Week? 0:01:45.367 --> 0:01:48.527 Look on Mid this Week we had a conversation about death. Yes, 0:01:48.767 --> 0:01:52.287 there you go, just throwing it out there, the messages 0:01:52.327 --> 0:01:54.647 I've got this week about this episode. So we had 0:01:54.967 --> 0:01:58.047 doctor Jackie Bailey on. She is an interfaith minister, a 0:01:58.047 --> 0:01:59.647 funeral celebrant, and what's called. 0:01:59.527 --> 0:02:01.607 A death walker is that like a death dueler. 0:02:02.207 --> 0:02:04.887 It's kind of like a death dueler. They walk with 0:02:05.167 --> 0:02:08.807 the dying and also the dying people's people. And the 0:02:08.847 --> 0:02:11.407 other thing that's amazing about Jackie is that she herself 0:02:11.447 --> 0:02:12.807 has had a lot of loss in her life, so 0:02:12.847 --> 0:02:16.647 she just has this really very empathetic but very no 0:02:16.847 --> 0:02:20.407 bullshit attitude to it. And so we have this conversation 0:02:20.487 --> 0:02:23.647 that you might imagine would be really heavy and sad, 0:02:23.687 --> 0:02:26.367 and of course it's serious, but the way that she 0:02:26.447 --> 0:02:28.607 can talk about it, she finds some lightness, she finds 0:02:28.607 --> 0:02:31.167 some really practical stuff. And I've had messages from people 0:02:31.247 --> 0:02:35.167 who I know have suffered really really serious losses who 0:02:35.207 --> 0:02:37.007 just said it has helped them enormously. So it is 0:02:37.047 --> 0:02:40.127 one to share doing good work with anyone needs who 0:02:40.207 --> 0:02:42.687 is suffering from grief at the moment. What about no filter? 0:02:42.927 --> 0:02:44.687 You know how I've been banging on about the seven 0:02:45.007 --> 0:02:47.567 different types of rest everyone needs, and. 0:02:47.607 --> 0:02:49.607 I've been making you all talk about it. 0:02:49.967 --> 0:02:52.327 I finally tracked down the person who came up with 0:02:52.367 --> 0:02:56.447 the concept. She's a doctor, doctor Sondra Dalton Smith, and 0:02:56.527 --> 0:02:58.767 she talked about what the seven different. 0:02:58.487 --> 0:02:59.247 Types of rest are. 0:02:59.487 --> 0:03:03.247 She talked about how we burn energy in those seven 0:03:03.287 --> 0:03:07.927 different ways mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually, socially and creatively. 0:03:08.247 --> 0:03:08.967 Oh there's one more. 0:03:09.367 --> 0:03:13.767 What kinds of things restore our energy? Like what rest 0:03:13.887 --> 0:03:16.887 looks like because it's not just about stopping doing something 0:03:17.727 --> 0:03:20.567 or if you're physically tired, then obviously you need to 0:03:20.567 --> 0:03:23.087 stop running a marathon and have a sleep or get 0:03:23.087 --> 0:03:26.247 more sleep, but all the other areas, sometimes it can 0:03:26.287 --> 0:03:29.007 be starting to do something that can make you feel 0:03:29.007 --> 0:03:29.607 more rested. 0:03:30.087 --> 0:03:31.887 So it's such an interesting conversation. 0:03:31.967 --> 0:03:34.967 We'll put links to all of our other shows and 0:03:35.007 --> 0:03:36.607 those episodes in the show notes. 0:03:36.847 --> 0:03:40.567 But on today's show, are you looking for a man 0:03:40.607 --> 0:03:43.487 in finance? Six foot five blue eyes? If you don't 0:03:43.527 --> 0:03:46.447 know what I'm talking about, you will in a minute. 0:03:46.727 --> 0:03:49.367 Also a movie that's way more than a movie, a 0:03:49.367 --> 0:03:52.047 TV show with lots of sex that isn't bridgeton and 0:03:52.127 --> 0:03:56.487 an airworm banger of a song. And My time as 0:03:56.487 --> 0:03:59.727 a boomer? Why mea is counting down until Sunday and 0:03:59.807 --> 0:04:01.447 that time and bumped. 0:04:01.167 --> 0:04:02.527 Into three x's in one night. 0:04:02.927 --> 0:04:05.607 Welcome to best and Worst, But first, Mere Friedman. 0:04:05.967 --> 0:04:09.567 In case you missed it, there's a name for that 0:04:09.687 --> 0:04:13.287 thing that some of us do, which is sending your 0:04:13.327 --> 0:04:16.967 friends or family popping in the group chat memes, funny 0:04:17.007 --> 0:04:22.247 videos or links, and it's called pebbling. The term pebbling 0:04:22.287 --> 0:04:25.487 comes from penguins, because did you know that penguins will 0:04:25.487 --> 0:04:28.167 gift pebbles to potential. 0:04:27.647 --> 0:04:30.367 Mates and that from good Luck Chust. Yeah. 0:04:30.447 --> 0:04:34.447 I follow Adam Grant on Instagram and he's like a productivity, emotional, 0:04:34.687 --> 0:04:36.887 psychological person and. 0:04:37.327 --> 0:04:38.687 He posted about it. 0:04:38.767 --> 0:04:41.727 He's a science author as well, and he says pebbling 0:04:41.807 --> 0:04:44.047 is an act of care and every pebble is a 0:04:44.047 --> 0:04:47.127 bid for connection. And to me this was an absolute 0:04:47.207 --> 0:04:50.927 lightning bolt because that is how I show care. It's 0:04:51.007 --> 0:04:53.487 very different to when you post something on social because 0:04:53.527 --> 0:04:55.327 I don't think that's a bid well. I guess it's 0:04:55.327 --> 0:04:57.327 a bid for some kind of connection. But that can 0:04:57.367 --> 0:05:00.767 be about virtue signaling, it can be about attention seeking. 0:05:01.087 --> 0:05:03.047 It's not always a negative thing, of course posting. It 0:05:03.087 --> 0:05:06.327 can be about self expression, self expression, self promotion, all 0:05:06.327 --> 0:05:09.887 different things. But when you put little things in group chats, 0:05:10.447 --> 0:05:12.207 that is a bid for connection. And I know that 0:05:12.327 --> 0:05:15.887 I've got some group chats or friends that I send 0:05:15.887 --> 0:05:19.127 things to as a bid for connection and they don't 0:05:19.167 --> 0:05:22.327 get the message and it just lands, and so my 0:05:22.367 --> 0:05:26.967 little pebble sits there pop another little pebble. 0:05:28.447 --> 0:05:30.567 This is another one of those conversations with having a 0:05:30.607 --> 0:05:32.727 go at me about my inactivity in group chats. 0:05:32.727 --> 0:05:35.247 Oh it's you, No, it's one hundred percent not Holly. 0:05:35.367 --> 0:05:38.007 It's a thousand percent not Holly. It's because Hole and 0:05:38.047 --> 0:05:41.727 I and Jesse and I and my closest girlfriends not 0:05:41.767 --> 0:05:43.447 actually not all of my close girlfriends, a lot of 0:05:43.487 --> 0:05:46.847 my girlfriends. We do have that pebbling. That's how we 0:05:46.967 --> 0:05:50.847 kind of stay connected. But then I've got other people 0:05:51.207 --> 0:05:54.047 who just I'll pop a pebble and it's not that 0:05:54.087 --> 0:05:56.567 we don't talk about things, but they won't then. 0:05:56.447 --> 0:05:59.407 Reciprocate with a pebble of their own, or a. 0:05:59.407 --> 0:06:03.447 Comment or a thumbs up or an opinion about the 0:06:03.487 --> 0:06:04.447 pebble that I've left. 0:06:04.687 --> 0:06:06.407 Maybe you're pebbling wrong. 0:06:06.767 --> 0:06:09.367 It's like they left my pebble and red definite left. 0:06:09.327 --> 0:06:10.087 Pebble on red. 0:06:10.247 --> 0:06:12.127 Because I think that's two ways of pebbles. So you 0:06:12.167 --> 0:06:14.807 pebble by like sending memes and stuff that you think 0:06:14.887 --> 0:06:17.647 are funny. But I don't like those pebbles. I want 0:06:17.647 --> 0:06:19.807 them to send me stuff that they know I think 0:06:19.847 --> 0:06:20.687 will be funny. 0:06:20.927 --> 0:06:23.167 That's the idea, though, that's the right idea, right, No, 0:06:23.287 --> 0:06:23.967 But sometimes you. 0:06:23.927 --> 0:06:26.047 Get pebbles from people who they're like, I saw this 0:06:26.087 --> 0:06:28.327 funny thing, you must like it too, But I'm like, no, 0:06:28.607 --> 0:06:29.807 I want my pebbles. 0:06:29.447 --> 0:06:31.447 To be so that means just that they don't know you. 0:06:31.527 --> 0:06:33.687 Yeah, and I want the pebbles to be like something 0:06:33.727 --> 0:06:36.487 that you've listened to what I said, Oh, I reminded 0:06:36.527 --> 0:06:38.767 you of something, and it's so specific, like and they 0:06:38.767 --> 0:06:40.047 need to be really specific to me. 0:06:40.167 --> 0:06:43.247 You want a very tailored, customized bid for connection. 0:06:43.447 --> 0:06:43.647 Yeah. 0:06:44.167 --> 0:06:47.047 I feel like those pebbles are like being flung at 0:06:47.047 --> 0:06:47.687 my face and. 0:06:47.647 --> 0:06:49.047 It's likely doesn't like it. 0:06:49.727 --> 0:06:52.847 It's like a demand for all the time. You're like, 0:06:52.847 --> 0:06:54.087 what if I don't have a minute. 0:06:54.207 --> 0:06:56.847 No, you don't have to necessarily react to that pebble 0:06:56.887 --> 0:06:59.047 in that moment or anything. But it's more just the 0:06:59.127 --> 0:07:03.247 general idea of pebbles and also whole our whole work 0:07:03.367 --> 0:07:06.207 is pebbles, Like that's our whole relationship is pebbles. So 0:07:06.247 --> 0:07:09.647 you are You've been defensive here and insecure, I think. 0:07:12.087 --> 0:07:15.367 But I'm also speaking for the people who don't like 0:07:16.487 --> 0:07:19.327 an interruption that group chats and things bring to their 0:07:19.367 --> 0:07:20.967 lives and that those people exist. 0:07:21.047 --> 0:07:22.927 I get it. No, No, I think that's fair enough. 0:07:22.967 --> 0:07:23.967 I'm just asking for a haha. 0:07:25.847 --> 0:07:30.127 Is it too much? Too hah? I need to play 0:07:30.127 --> 0:07:33.127 you all something. It is apparently one of the songs 0:07:33.287 --> 0:07:36.527 of the American summer. It all started with this young 0:07:36.567 --> 0:07:39.407 woman called Girl on Couch. And I know that people 0:07:39.527 --> 0:07:45.327 used to have names people. I know that people used 0:07:45.327 --> 0:07:49.007 to have real names. And indeed, Megan Bonnie is her 0:07:49.047 --> 0:07:51.847 real name, and she's a TikTok person. And a while 0:07:51.887 --> 0:07:54.367 ago she set the internet a challenge. 0:07:54.447 --> 0:07:57.047 Here it is, I'm looking for a man in finance 0:07:57.367 --> 0:08:02.607 trust fund six fire blue eyes finance trust fund six 0:08:02.687 --> 0:08:05.687 fire blue eyes, and looking for our man, and looking 0:08:05.687 --> 0:08:07.767 for our man, and looking for looking for looking for 0:08:08.007 --> 0:08:11.807 looking at fine out trust fune sixth five eyes. 0:08:12.007 --> 0:08:13.087 Quite like to trust. 0:08:13.327 --> 0:08:17.367 So she she just did that. See I would send 0:08:17.367 --> 0:08:18.807 that to someone of the pebbles. So she did that 0:08:18.847 --> 0:08:19.367 and would. 0:08:19.247 --> 0:08:22.487 And then she said, DJs, do your thing, have fun 0:08:22.527 --> 0:08:26.007 with it, and oh my god, did they ever. This 0:08:26.087 --> 0:08:28.287 is what happened. Here is a mashup of some of 0:08:28.367 --> 0:08:30.687 the remixes of Girl on Couch. 0:08:30.487 --> 0:08:33.727 I'm Looking for a Man in Finance Trust done six 0:08:33.807 --> 0:08:39.047 five blue eyes, fine uce trust fun six five blue Eyes. 0:08:39.447 --> 0:08:42.767 Some of the biggest DJs in the world, including David Genner, 0:08:44.727 --> 0:08:50.407 have remixed that song, played it at festivals, and now suddenly. 0:08:50.007 --> 0:08:52.447 It is huge. That's so funny. 0:08:52.727 --> 0:08:56.567 Now I'm interested in this. I agree, this is what 0:08:56.607 --> 0:08:59.447 it's for. I love what the internet's actually for. She 0:08:59.487 --> 0:09:02.527 missed out on a trademark, she really did, But I'm 0:09:02.567 --> 0:09:05.607 interested in this statement. I'm looking for a man in finance. 0:09:06.207 --> 0:09:09.087 Six ' five blue eyes, I just have fun things. 0:09:09.567 --> 0:09:13.607 Is very tall, very tall because because they can't see 0:09:13.607 --> 0:09:17.607 their faces, that's why so attractive. The thing is girl 0:09:17.647 --> 0:09:20.407 on couch in that statement is not alone. She is 0:09:20.487 --> 0:09:23.207 sort of echoing a message that's all over TikTok at 0:09:23.207 --> 0:09:26.367 the minute from a certain sort of dating influencer who 0:09:26.447 --> 0:09:28.767 sets up their stall as trying to catch you a 0:09:28.847 --> 0:09:33.407 rich man to marry. Right. This energy feels very unchanged 0:09:33.527 --> 0:09:35.807 to me from say like the ninety Sex in the 0:09:35.847 --> 0:09:38.607 City Charlotte, who was like, I'm looking. 0:09:38.367 --> 0:09:43.327 For a man in finance, and also Lady Featherington's looking 0:09:43.367 --> 0:09:45.647 for rich men for her daughters exactly. 0:09:46.287 --> 0:09:49.007 And it also feels part of an ongoing conversation that 0:09:49.047 --> 0:09:52.087 we've been having about what women want on certain times. 0:09:52.127 --> 0:09:55.007 On Monday, we talked about how in an ever more 0:09:55.047 --> 0:09:58.247 expensive world, young women have almost zero chance of being 0:09:58.247 --> 0:10:01.687 able to earn their way into financial security and or 0:10:01.767 --> 0:10:05.607 success by themselves. On Wednesday, we talked about daddy energy, 0:10:05.767 --> 0:10:08.847 this idea of women wanting a protective, manly man, and 0:10:08.887 --> 0:10:11.447 how that apparently the thing we want at the moment, 0:10:11.447 --> 0:10:15.247 apart from Rodents. That's another conversation. And then a while 0:10:15.287 --> 0:10:18.167 ago we unpacked a viral essay by a young woman 0:10:18.207 --> 0:10:21.127 who had written about her very deliberate choice to marry 0:10:21.167 --> 0:10:23.487 an older rich man and give up her own career. 0:10:24.407 --> 0:10:28.207 And there's something in the water and all over the internet. 0:10:28.607 --> 0:10:32.247 Would you like some of these dating influencers advice ask 0:10:32.327 --> 0:10:35.167 a man to show you his bank statements and pay 0:10:35.207 --> 0:10:37.167 slips before you'd get serious with him. 0:10:38.087 --> 0:10:41.367 No, I wouldn't ask the bank statements and pay slips, 0:10:41.367 --> 0:10:43.967 the receipts. I think that's too much. I would show 0:10:43.967 --> 0:10:46.367 them mine willingly. I think that's kind of fun and funny. 0:10:46.687 --> 0:10:48.447 But I wouldn't. I wouldn't ask them. 0:10:48.607 --> 0:10:50.567 But I'm looking for a man in finance. 0:10:51.127 --> 0:10:53.447 The subtext, of course, is that if he works in finance, 0:10:53.487 --> 0:10:55.567 he's rich, yes, or will become rich. 0:10:55.967 --> 0:10:59.727 I am embarrassed to admit that I am appealed by 0:10:59.767 --> 0:11:01.927 the idea of having a man who earns a lot 0:11:01.967 --> 0:11:02.687 more than I do. 0:11:03.087 --> 0:11:04.567 Did you say you're embarrassed by that? 0:11:04.847 --> 0:11:05.327 Yeah? 0:11:05.367 --> 0:11:05.727 Why? 0:11:06.127 --> 0:11:08.367 Because I think it makes me sound like that I 0:11:08.487 --> 0:11:11.647 can't dane myself as an individual, and I just want 0:11:11.687 --> 0:11:13.407 to give it to some man to do it for me. 0:11:13.847 --> 0:11:16.687 Why can't both things be true? They can't be true. 0:11:17.087 --> 0:11:22.207 Why can't you want someone who is rich along with 0:11:22.247 --> 0:11:25.407 other things? Presumably, but that doesn't mean that you don't 0:11:25.447 --> 0:11:28.167 necessarily want to work or become rich yourself, because. 0:11:27.887 --> 0:11:30.647 I think it just makes me sound so superficial is 0:11:30.647 --> 0:11:32.447 the word you look there? 0:11:32.487 --> 0:11:32.727 It is. 0:11:33.127 --> 0:11:36.767 I'm shallow. But since this has gone viral, I feel 0:11:36.767 --> 0:11:40.367 more open about talking about it because there's something when 0:11:40.727 --> 0:11:43.367 a woman and I've been following this TikToker for a 0:11:43.407 --> 0:11:46.527 long time. She's so beautiful, she's really funny, she's really smart, 0:11:47.007 --> 0:11:49.527 and I think when you see someone go and cash 0:11:49.567 --> 0:11:52.247 and I think when you see someone like admit to 0:11:52.287 --> 0:11:54.767 wanting to do something, especially when it comes to dating, 0:11:54.887 --> 0:11:57.127 Like if someone's like I want this type of man, 0:11:57.327 --> 0:11:59.487 you kind of think to yourself, maybe I should want 0:11:59.487 --> 0:12:00.647 this type of man as well. 0:12:00.847 --> 0:12:03.087 But what are we talking about? This type of man? 0:12:03.207 --> 0:12:07.927 It's a type of Yeah, so let's just give a comparison. 0:12:08.607 --> 0:12:14.007 So if a guy did a TikTok I'm looking for 0:12:14.127 --> 0:12:17.247 a supermodel six foot. 0:12:18.487 --> 0:12:20.087 He might be saying I'm looking for a woman in 0:12:20.167 --> 0:12:22.447 finance six foot, blue eyes. 0:12:23.887 --> 0:12:27.607 You're absolutely right, blue eyes. Would we hate that? Would 0:12:27.607 --> 0:12:31.527 we say that superficial? Probably we would. But what's to say. 0:12:32.127 --> 0:12:35.447 They can't also be smart, funny, someone you're in love with. 0:12:35.727 --> 0:12:38.367 What's to say you can't also have a love match 0:12:38.887 --> 0:12:45.607 with the person who is rich. I've been watching a 0:12:45.607 --> 0:12:46.327 lot of Bridgeston. 0:12:47.287 --> 0:12:50.287 The thing is about this is that by putting man 0:12:50.327 --> 0:12:52.447 in finance, which is code, it's code for a couple 0:12:52.487 --> 0:12:54.607 of things. It's obviously code for lots of money, but 0:12:54.647 --> 0:12:59.167 it's also code for it is a particular works in finance, 0:12:59.207 --> 0:13:01.367 who wears the sharp suit? Who is the guy who 0:13:01.367 --> 0:13:02.047 works in finance? 0:13:02.127 --> 0:13:02.247 Right? 0:13:02.247 --> 0:13:04.927 I totally understand what she means when she says. 0:13:04.727 --> 0:13:07.247 That you're not horny for a guy in finance. If 0:13:07.247 --> 0:13:08.727 I have a dated one, Oh my god. No. 0:13:09.087 --> 0:13:12.007 The The reason why M feels shallow by saying that 0:13:12.487 --> 0:13:15.367 is if you are looking for a live partner and 0:13:15.527 --> 0:13:20.567 money is at the top of the list, that is shallow. Unquestionably, 0:13:20.767 --> 0:13:21.127 I think. 0:13:21.047 --> 0:13:23.567 It's not as simplistic or black and white as that. 0:13:23.687 --> 0:13:26.487 I think that if you look at the idea of 0:13:26.567 --> 0:13:30.407 financial security as opposed to I'm looking for a guy 0:13:30.487 --> 0:13:31.407 with a drug problem. 0:13:31.887 --> 0:13:35.647 But that's not fair because you're setting the world up 0:13:35.687 --> 0:13:37.567 as if there are rich guys and there are losers, 0:13:38.047 --> 0:13:40.607 and there is a whole massive spectrum. 0:13:40.847 --> 0:13:42.327 No, no, I agree. I agree. 0:13:42.327 --> 0:13:44.927 And what you're saying is that if they're her top 0:13:44.967 --> 0:13:46.727 three qualities that she's looking for. 0:13:46.807 --> 0:13:48.407 And I know this is a joke, but when you're 0:13:48.767 --> 0:13:50.567 as like it's in the water. 0:13:50.407 --> 0:13:53.167 This is in the water, right, Whereas Jesse has talked 0:13:53.167 --> 0:13:54.687 a lot of times on the show about how she 0:13:54.767 --> 0:13:57.007 made a list when she'd had a lot of relationships 0:13:57.287 --> 0:13:59.207 and I can't remember the actual order, but on it 0:13:59.287 --> 0:14:03.167 was funny, likes dogs, smart, I think was on there 0:14:03.807 --> 0:14:07.527 kind kind and she said that's what she found in 0:14:07.727 --> 0:14:11.047 her now husband. I think that what we're looking at 0:14:11.287 --> 0:14:16.287 is a romanticizing of being taken care of. 0:14:16.807 --> 0:14:18.047 Yes, one hundred percent. 0:14:18.167 --> 0:14:20.407 So it's like, has feminism gone too far? 0:14:20.767 --> 0:14:26.087 Has it made women fantasize about not having to lean 0:14:26.127 --> 0:14:28.767 in and being a lady boss actually being able to 0:14:28.767 --> 0:14:31.367 be a trad wife Because we've seen this fetishization of 0:14:31.407 --> 0:14:34.687 the trad wife rise up online as well, and everyone 0:14:34.767 --> 0:14:36.767 watching this content, oh my dream is to be a 0:14:36.807 --> 0:14:40.207 trad wife, and they've made it look so sexy and lovely. 0:14:41.247 --> 0:14:43.887 Is it all just a reaction to we've made so 0:14:43.967 --> 0:14:47.447 many strides, but now we feel like we're doing two 0:14:47.527 --> 0:14:48.887 jobs one hundred percent? 0:14:48.967 --> 0:14:49.407 It is that. 0:14:49.687 --> 0:14:51.687 So I think that this is very much part of 0:14:51.727 --> 0:14:55.487 the whole trad wife, soft girl, soft life thing. Is 0:14:55.527 --> 0:15:00.927 that it is really really hard to be financially independent. 0:15:01.127 --> 0:15:04.047 It's really hard to support a family, it's really hard 0:15:04.087 --> 0:15:06.247 to be paying the mortgage by yourself. All those things 0:15:06.287 --> 0:15:08.407 are really hard, right, and a lot of us have 0:15:08.487 --> 0:15:11.487 no choice. Of women have no choice. What these women 0:15:11.527 --> 0:15:15.367 are saying is that if they could choose, they would 0:15:15.407 --> 0:15:17.567 choose to not have to do that, right. But what 0:15:17.647 --> 0:15:21.367 they're also saying in this whole fetishization of rich men 0:15:21.927 --> 0:15:23.407 is that that is at the top of the list, 0:15:23.967 --> 0:15:26.727 and that they would reject the perfect guy if he 0:15:26.887 --> 0:15:29.327 had a crappy job, or not a crappy job, but 0:15:29.407 --> 0:15:32.167 a job that didn't pay well. So imagine a world 0:15:32.327 --> 0:15:34.847 in which em meets a guy who she has brilliant 0:15:34.887 --> 0:15:39.007 rapport with amazing chemistry. He's like just the loveliest guy, 0:15:39.687 --> 0:15:43.367 but he earns a very basic salary doing something very 0:15:43.487 --> 0:15:44.967 ordinary in which she's never going to be able to 0:15:44.967 --> 0:15:47.807 pay a mortgage. Are you really rejecting him? 0:15:47.887 --> 0:15:48.287 Yeah? 0:15:48.367 --> 0:15:51.087 Yeah, see there you go. Yeah that's interesting. 0:15:51.127 --> 0:15:53.327 But it also comes to just like that initial part 0:15:53.567 --> 0:15:56.207 of dating where when you date someone who you know 0:15:56.367 --> 0:15:58.927 makes either the same amount of money as you or more, 0:15:59.407 --> 0:16:01.847 it takes that like weight off your chest, because I 0:16:01.847 --> 0:16:05.847 think a symptom of finding someone you like is also 0:16:05.887 --> 0:16:08.967 really expensive because if you really like someone, you're in 0:16:08.967 --> 0:16:10.687 a day, you want to buy more drinks, you want 0:16:10.727 --> 0:16:12.367 to hang out with them more, and the money just 0:16:12.407 --> 0:16:14.527 adds up. And there have been times where I'm. 0:16:14.367 --> 0:16:17.447 Like, going for a walk in the park, how free? 0:16:17.607 --> 0:16:19.487 How far can you walk? You can walk? 0:16:19.607 --> 0:16:23.247 And they have to eventually get dinner. Dating doesn't have 0:16:23.287 --> 0:16:25.647 to cost it does have to cost money at some 0:16:25.727 --> 0:16:27.207 point if you want to spend a lot of time 0:16:27.207 --> 0:16:29.527 with that person, especially in the beginning. 0:16:29.247 --> 0:16:30.727 Two minute noodles and lots of sex. 0:16:30.807 --> 0:16:31.647 Anyway, go on. 0:16:31.927 --> 0:16:34.247 There have been times I've been on dates where I 0:16:34.287 --> 0:16:37.407 really like them, but I'm like, I can't financially support 0:16:37.447 --> 0:16:37.887 dating you. 0:16:38.927 --> 0:16:41.007 It is not because. 0:16:40.767 --> 0:16:42.727 You have to pay for everything, and I can't afford 0:16:42.727 --> 0:16:43.767 to pay for anything. 0:16:43.487 --> 0:16:45.847 And I have like I like nice things, like I 0:16:45.887 --> 0:16:48.087 want to go out to dinner, I want to get wine. 0:16:48.087 --> 0:16:50.207 But is that about wanting an equal because like you, 0:16:50.367 --> 0:16:53.087 you know, you earn money, so you're like, I want 0:16:53.127 --> 0:16:55.767 someone who is an equal partner, or you're saying I 0:16:55.807 --> 0:16:57.087 want somebody rich rich. 0:16:57.407 --> 0:17:00.007 I want someone who's either equal or more rich than me. 0:17:01.207 --> 0:17:03.447 You know they do you judge that? And it's entirely 0:17:03.607 --> 0:17:07.007 typical of women on dating apps. That are all these 0:17:07.047 --> 0:17:10.967 surveys that say that women want either financial equals or 0:17:11.367 --> 0:17:13.407 so in the class spec I mean this class isn't 0:17:13.407 --> 0:17:17.047 the right word, actually, but socioeconomic status. They will date 0:17:17.087 --> 0:17:20.287 across and up, and men will date all the way, 0:17:20.567 --> 0:17:22.087 all the way around that spectrum. 0:17:22.127 --> 0:17:26.087 They don't tend to date up, will they They will 0:17:26.167 --> 0:17:29.047 date in all directions, but they're very comfortable dating across 0:17:29.087 --> 0:17:32.007 and down, and they may or may not depending on 0:17:32.047 --> 0:17:34.807 the guy, like feel comfortable dating up. Isn't there a 0:17:34.807 --> 0:17:38.047 good reason for that whole Because if you think pragmatically 0:17:38.247 --> 0:17:41.007 about the fact that, Okay, if I want to have kids, 0:17:41.367 --> 0:17:43.847 we'll probably need to incomes. I'll have to have time 0:17:43.847 --> 0:17:46.727 off work. If I'm the main breadwinner, do I want 0:17:46.727 --> 0:17:49.167 to be the main breadwinner and the primary care And 0:17:49.247 --> 0:17:50.927 I know that you have a different model, so that 0:17:50.927 --> 0:17:52.807 didn't factor into your thinking. 0:17:53.727 --> 0:17:55.527 But isn't it just sort of pragmatic. 0:17:55.727 --> 0:17:56.767 It's very pragmatic. 0:17:56.887 --> 0:17:58.007 It's just not romantic. 0:17:58.527 --> 0:18:01.767 My issue with it is and this is a values thing. 0:18:01.927 --> 0:18:05.247 This is back to Jesse's list, right, the idea that 0:18:05.487 --> 0:18:08.567 I want somebody rich to take the pressure off me. 0:18:09.327 --> 0:18:12.567 I understand it. I certainly understand it. As a woman 0:18:13.007 --> 0:18:16.167 with a lot of financial pressure on her. It's hard. 0:18:16.767 --> 0:18:21.647 But that's how men have always felt. But men, you know, 0:18:21.727 --> 0:18:23.967 I want all the equality, please, I want all of it. 0:18:24.087 --> 0:18:25.887 Men don't do all the other stuff that women do 0:18:25.927 --> 0:18:28.007 when they become mums. They don't do like that mental 0:18:28.007 --> 0:18:30.527 load stuff they can if you make. The least they 0:18:30.527 --> 0:18:32.567 could do is pay for some things. 0:18:32.687 --> 0:18:34.847 But I think that's true. Like, this is what I 0:18:34.927 --> 0:18:38.327 would always advise somebody. I mean, obviously, if that's very 0:18:38.367 --> 0:18:40.127 high on your list, like I want a big house, 0:18:40.487 --> 0:18:43.687 I want three holidays a year, I want whatever whatever whatever, 0:18:44.127 --> 0:18:46.767 then sure, right? And I used to work with a 0:18:46.767 --> 0:18:48.607 woman who said, you would say to me exactly what 0:18:48.647 --> 0:18:50.327 Mia was saying at the beginning. She's like, it's as 0:18:50.327 --> 0:18:51.967 easy to fall in love with the rich man as 0:18:51.967 --> 0:18:53.887 a poor man, she'd say, So fall in love with 0:18:53.927 --> 0:18:57.687 the rich man and all these marrier rich man influencers, 0:18:57.727 --> 0:18:59.887 that's what they say. They're like, you're out there in 0:18:59.927 --> 0:19:02.447 the world, you're picking and choosing, you're swiping, you're dating. 0:19:02.887 --> 0:19:06.207 Why wouldn't you go for a better economic model? And 0:19:06.527 --> 0:19:09.567 considering how expensive it is for us to live in 0:19:09.887 --> 0:19:13.487 capital city. Certainly now it does make sense, but there's 0:19:13.527 --> 0:19:17.087 something so retro and depressing about the idea that I 0:19:17.127 --> 0:19:19.327 will sacrifice a whole lot of other things on my 0:19:19.487 --> 0:19:23.327 list for the money, Like I find that really depressing. 0:19:23.487 --> 0:19:27.167 There's something called the Sprinkle Sprinkle movement, which prioritizes financial 0:19:27.167 --> 0:19:29.407 stability and dating. This is kind of like, you know, 0:19:29.487 --> 0:19:32.127 the finance bro is an example of that, but it 0:19:32.567 --> 0:19:35.287 was sort of started by this woman called Sheer seven. 0:19:35.327 --> 0:19:38.447 She makes these long YouTube videos and she's become a 0:19:38.447 --> 0:19:41.967 bit of a cult figure. And the Sprinkle Sprinkle movement 0:19:42.047 --> 0:19:44.287 encourages women to live the soft life and be like 0:19:44.367 --> 0:19:49.247 soft girls, and it's very retro in which they prioritize 0:19:49.487 --> 0:19:53.087 money by dating older, wealthier partners. And this is known 0:19:53.087 --> 0:19:57.207 as hypergamy, this idea of dating someone who is rich 0:19:57.287 --> 0:20:00.327 basically so that you can have an easier life. Oh 0:20:01.007 --> 0:20:03.287 and it reminded me a little bit of in the 0:20:03.407 --> 0:20:06.447 nineties there were those guys who used to try and 0:20:06.647 --> 0:20:11.007 teach other men how to land model that we hatilize 0:20:11.167 --> 0:20:13.407 the modelizer, the model. Yeah, so there would be like 0:20:13.447 --> 0:20:15.647 these kind of dating coaches that would teach other men 0:20:15.847 --> 0:20:17.127 how to land hot women. 0:20:17.487 --> 0:20:19.607 And to me, this is kind of the same. And 0:20:20.327 --> 0:20:21.967 is it saying the quiet part out loud? 0:20:22.287 --> 0:20:24.367 It is if you want a certain kind of life. 0:20:24.527 --> 0:20:26.887 Like the thing that I struggle with about this is 0:20:26.927 --> 0:20:29.487 I want to be an equal partner in my world. 0:20:29.607 --> 0:20:33.087 Right personally, I would find it very hard to put 0:20:33.087 --> 0:20:35.967 my hand out for money, like from a partner. Do 0:20:35.967 --> 0:20:38.367 you know what I mean to be like, I need 0:20:38.407 --> 0:20:40.527 this for me to buy a hambag. 0:20:40.727 --> 0:20:43.367 Of course, he terribly vulnerable. 0:20:44.087 --> 0:20:47.647 It's terrible financial advice because it makes you dependent on somebody. 0:20:47.727 --> 0:20:50.247 A man is a financial plan and then and that. 0:20:50.287 --> 0:20:55.367 Man might be particularly if he is an alpha, you know, 0:20:55.767 --> 0:20:59.487 hyper successful dude. He might not be the loveliest person. 0:21:00.127 --> 0:21:03.127 And what I know, deep in my heart. And I 0:21:03.167 --> 0:21:06.127 know I sound pollyannor about it. Is what will make 0:21:06.167 --> 0:21:09.767 you happy is being with a good person. Of course, 0:21:09.807 --> 0:21:11.487 lots of good people are rich. I'm not saying that 0:21:11.807 --> 0:21:15.247 I find this so icky because it's like, my daughter 0:21:15.287 --> 0:21:17.287 listens to a lot of rap music, right, and we'll 0:21:17.287 --> 0:21:19.447 be in the car, and every woman that is being 0:21:19.487 --> 0:21:21.207 talked about on a lot of this stuff is she 0:21:21.287 --> 0:21:23.007 just wants you for your money. She just wants you 0:21:23.047 --> 0:21:25.007 to buy her handbags, she just wants you to buy 0:21:25.047 --> 0:21:27.087 a design of clothes. She's just trying to take you 0:21:27.127 --> 0:21:31.687 for everything you've got. Playing into this like sort. 0:21:31.487 --> 0:21:32.087 Of gold digger. 0:21:32.207 --> 0:21:34.927 Oh yeah, literally the gold digger. And I thought that 0:21:35.047 --> 0:21:37.247 one of the great things about being able to make 0:21:37.287 --> 0:21:39.527 our own way in the world is that we didn't 0:21:39.567 --> 0:21:43.007 have to do that anymore, settle for a guy who 0:21:43.087 --> 0:21:46.327 might buy us shit but who wasn't a very nice person, 0:21:46.607 --> 0:21:50.127 or who might treat us like one of their objects 0:21:50.207 --> 0:21:52.887 or investments. Like I don't know. So, of course it's 0:21:52.887 --> 0:21:56.007 true that if the fantasy happens as it does in movies, 0:21:56.047 --> 0:21:59.087 where you fall madly in love with this wonderful person 0:21:59.127 --> 0:22:02.447 and then oh he's a millionaire or he's a prince 0:22:02.847 --> 0:22:06.567 or he like owns it, you know whatever, then that's lovely, right, 0:22:06.967 --> 0:22:11.087 But going out with that as your first priority is 0:22:11.127 --> 0:22:15.567 setting you up for a whole lot of compromises that 0:22:15.687 --> 0:22:18.967 I think are not necessarily the path to happiness. 0:22:19.007 --> 0:22:21.807 But I don't think that's what most young women want, 0:22:21.887 --> 0:22:24.487 Like I think the Sprinkle Sprinkle Lady is showing the extreme. 0:22:24.607 --> 0:22:27.127 She's saying, find a rich man so your life can 0:22:27.127 --> 0:22:30.567 be easier, whereas I'm saying, I want someone like you, 0:22:30.647 --> 0:22:32.967 like equal to me, because I don't want someone who 0:22:32.967 --> 0:22:34.847 will make my life harder, Like I don't want it 0:22:34.847 --> 0:22:36.207 to be easier, but I also don't want it to 0:22:36.247 --> 0:22:40.767 be harder. And the whole finance guy thing is just 0:22:40.807 --> 0:22:43.567 like a gimmicky thing that you know when you have 0:22:43.767 --> 0:22:47.007 like someone in that certain areaal field, and it's similar 0:22:47.087 --> 0:22:50.087 like like even if someone is like a trainer or 0:22:50.127 --> 0:22:52.367 something like if you know someone has a stable job, 0:22:52.407 --> 0:22:54.487 it just feels like an easier bet to be with. 0:22:54.847 --> 0:22:58.007 I've got a lot of gen X friends whose teenage 0:22:58.087 --> 0:23:01.367 daughters will troll them, like when you know they're asked, 0:23:01.447 --> 0:23:02.967 what do you want to be? What do you want 0:23:02.967 --> 0:23:05.167 to do after school? And They're like, nothing, I just 0:23:05.207 --> 0:23:08.847 want to get a sugar daddy own exactly. It's sugar 0:23:08.927 --> 0:23:12.127 daddy like their feminist mothers are like stop it, yes, 0:23:12.447 --> 0:23:13.447 stop trolling me. 0:23:14.007 --> 0:23:16.687 I say to my daughter all the time, like, you 0:23:16.727 --> 0:23:19.007 have got to earn your own money, like for me, 0:23:19.127 --> 0:23:21.247 and I guess that speaks to my values, right, Like 0:23:21.887 --> 0:23:24.847 independence is very high on my list. Earn your own 0:23:24.887 --> 0:23:27.087 money is very high on my list. I find this 0:23:27.127 --> 0:23:28.887 whole thing although it's funny and I love it, and 0:23:28.887 --> 0:23:31.887 the songs a banger, and it's also I'm like, no, 0:23:32.087 --> 0:23:34.047 you're not looking for a guy in finance. You're looking 0:23:34.047 --> 0:23:37.527 for a guy who shares your dreams and aspiration. 0:23:37.207 --> 0:23:41.247 But also from like supports your career and supports your career, 0:23:41.327 --> 0:23:44.447 but also from being with men who have earned less 0:23:44.487 --> 0:23:47.527 than me. From my experience, they also don't like that 0:23:47.567 --> 0:23:49.567 I earn more than them. I think they get a 0:23:49.567 --> 0:23:52.327 complex of dating someone who earns more than them. 0:23:52.287 --> 0:23:54.447 Which goes into the thing of I don't think guys 0:23:54.447 --> 0:23:56.767 do date up very often. I don't think they date 0:23:56.847 --> 0:23:59.087 across or down because it's a. 0:23:59.047 --> 0:23:59.847 Power thing for them. 0:24:00.447 --> 0:24:05.087 Only weak insecure man feel that way, like a proper, proper, 0:24:05.287 --> 0:24:08.727 confident human can deal with the idea that a woman 0:24:08.807 --> 0:24:11.687 can earn more money like it's so retro, I feel like, 0:24:12.127 --> 0:24:14.647 and it can't be an accident. So much of particularly 0:24:14.647 --> 0:24:16.647 American culture at the minute, is trying to pull us 0:24:16.687 --> 0:24:19.207 back somewhere. It's trying to pull us back to a 0:24:19.207 --> 0:24:22.927 more conservative time. And there's no question that some of 0:24:22.967 --> 0:24:26.407 that is easier in inverted commas on the surface, except 0:24:26.447 --> 0:24:29.447 it's not because it traps you, like it traps you 0:24:29.487 --> 0:24:31.487 if you don't have your own independence. So it's like 0:24:31.887 --> 0:24:34.087 it feels like a trap and that makes me uncomfortable. 0:24:34.127 --> 0:24:36.447 It's all because feminism has just gone too farther. Should 0:24:36.447 --> 0:24:38.567 never have made us wear pants and have the vite. 0:24:38.847 --> 0:24:44.927 This is what's happened clearly this month. 0:24:45.127 --> 0:24:48.607 Mumma Mia turned seventeen. We know birthdays aren't all that 0:24:48.687 --> 0:24:52.967 exciting when they're not well your birthday, there aren't enough presents, 0:24:53.167 --> 0:24:55.047 So we want to take this as a chance to 0:24:55.047 --> 0:24:57.447 give you a treat and say thank you for being 0:24:57.487 --> 0:24:58.487 on the ride with us. 0:24:58.647 --> 0:25:00.767 Right now, you can get twenty dollars off a yearly 0:25:00.847 --> 0:25:02.287 Mumma me a subscription with. 0:25:02.287 --> 0:25:04.367 The code out Loud Birthday. 0:25:04.607 --> 0:25:06.727 The offer is valid till the end of June, and 0:25:06.767 --> 0:25:09.087 you will find all the details of how to do 0:25:09.087 --> 0:25:12.247 that in the show notes. Enjoy, my friends. 0:25:18.847 --> 0:25:21.887 It is Friday today, so we are here to help 0:25:21.927 --> 0:25:24.087 you set up your weekend by giving you all of 0:25:24.087 --> 0:25:27.287 our recommendations. Fully, you have a really good one today. 0:25:27.367 --> 0:25:27.807 I do. 0:25:28.487 --> 0:25:31.167 I took my kids the movies on Saturday at the 0:25:31.247 --> 0:25:34.047 earliest opportunity to see Inside Out too. 0:25:34.487 --> 0:25:38.247 This is joy coming you live in Riley's mind, makes 0:25:38.327 --> 0:25:38.887 them no. 0:25:41.687 --> 0:25:42.087 In, no. 0:25:44.367 --> 0:25:45.887 Tanger me out. 0:25:45.727 --> 0:25:49.327 Of We gotta get our mouth guard. 0:25:49.407 --> 0:25:54.167 People hear sounds not hellus discussed glad to have her 0:25:54.167 --> 0:26:01.727 on our team. Our little girls growing up so fast Out. 0:26:01.567 --> 0:26:04.087 It should be nothing but smooth sailing from Hello. 0:26:05.127 --> 0:26:08.247 I'm anxiety. Where can I put myself? It's a kids movie. 0:26:08.287 --> 0:26:11.567 It's a sequel to Side Out Surprise Surprise A long time, 0:26:11.847 --> 0:26:14.967 really long time because at the end of the first. 0:26:14.687 --> 0:26:15.687 One, I don't understand this. 0:26:15.767 --> 0:26:17.207 At the end of the first one, it was so 0:26:17.247 --> 0:26:19.887 set up for the sequel when they're like, don't press 0:26:19.927 --> 0:26:23.847 the poor Barty button. She's entering Pooberty, and it was like, Oh, 0:26:23.887 --> 0:26:25.327 it's going to be such a good sequel. 0:26:25.447 --> 0:26:26.167 Forgot about it. 0:26:26.207 --> 0:26:28.887 I know, Well, it's here and the puberty button is pushed. 0:26:29.727 --> 0:26:32.127 It is so good, and it's not only good because 0:26:32.127 --> 0:26:33.647 it is a good movie, right, you know. It's got 0:26:33.647 --> 0:26:35.887 Amy Pohler is the Leader's joy again. It's got an 0:26:35.927 --> 0:26:39.007 amazing cast. As far as the movies you can all 0:26:39.047 --> 0:26:41.647 watch together if you've got a family, Go Inside Out 0:26:41.687 --> 0:26:43.407 is up there. But the real reason why it's great, 0:26:43.447 --> 0:26:47.447 why I'm recommending it is these movies also, particularly this one, 0:26:47.487 --> 0:26:49.447 because what happens in this one is puberty happens and 0:26:49.487 --> 0:26:51.447 a whole lot of new feelings come in and join 0:26:51.487 --> 0:26:54.407 the other feelings, and primary among them is Anxiety, who's 0:26:54.407 --> 0:26:57.767 played by Maya Hawk from Stranger Things. It's anxiety, envy, 0:26:57.807 --> 0:27:00.567 embarrassment and on we right, they joined the thing. It's 0:27:00.567 --> 0:27:04.047 so funny. Embarrassment is enormous and always wears a hoodie 0:27:04.087 --> 0:27:07.767 like pulled down over their finger, hardly says anything. And 0:27:08.047 --> 0:27:12.407 Anxiety is this very very highly strong, teeth chattering little person. 0:27:12.567 --> 0:27:16.407 And basically what happens is Anxiety takes over, takes control 0:27:16.967 --> 0:27:19.607 and pushes our girl Riley, who is the human with 0:27:19.647 --> 0:27:23.287 all the emotions to feel. She has to be perfect 0:27:23.327 --> 0:27:26.127 in every way. And it's just a beautiful and brilliant 0:27:26.607 --> 0:27:30.607 exploration of that point in a not only a girl's life, 0:27:30.607 --> 0:27:32.847 in a kid's life. And the thing that's great about 0:27:32.887 --> 0:27:36.327 this series, in my opinion, is it gives you like 0:27:36.687 --> 0:27:39.607 language to talk to your children about these things. You know, 0:27:39.807 --> 0:27:42.847 Riley's in this movie. She's an ice hockey player, right, 0:27:42.887 --> 0:27:44.647 and she wants to get on this team and everything's 0:27:44.687 --> 0:27:47.967 about that and she it's just she's pushing herself to 0:27:48.007 --> 0:27:51.127 the point of anxiety attacks. You can say to your children, like, 0:27:51.167 --> 0:27:54.727 that's your anxiety speaking, that's envy speaking, and it's personified. 0:27:54.807 --> 0:27:58.247 It's like there's a therapy system called internal family systems. 0:27:58.247 --> 0:28:00.247 It's like that for kids, like this is the part 0:28:00.287 --> 0:28:03.487 of you that is acting right now is envy and 0:28:03.527 --> 0:28:05.007 you can picture them in your head. 0:28:05.047 --> 0:28:08.487 And if I love that so anthropomorphizes emotions. 0:28:08.607 --> 0:28:11.287 That's very It's so great. I always remember when Inside 0:28:11.327 --> 0:28:13.407 Out came out that someone was saying about Pixar how 0:28:13.447 --> 0:28:16.047 it was like, what if monsters had feelings? What if 0:28:16.087 --> 0:28:17.927 toys had feelings? And then this series is what if 0:28:17.967 --> 0:28:22.247 feelings have fit? I love that it turned out too. 0:28:22.287 --> 0:28:24.047 It's in all good movie theaters now. 0:28:24.287 --> 0:28:28.247 My recommendation is a song and it's just an Earworms song. 0:28:28.367 --> 0:28:29.607 Is it looking for a Man in Finer? 0:28:29.767 --> 0:28:31.287 It is now, but it's. 0:28:31.167 --> 0:28:34.007 Actually Please Please Please, Sabrina Carpenter's new song, which is 0:28:34.047 --> 0:28:37.167 also her hard launch of her relationship with Barry Kyogan, 0:28:37.527 --> 0:28:40.207 who was in Sultburn. You might have seen the clip. 0:28:40.287 --> 0:28:42.727 Here's a little bit of the tune, ask him. 0:28:42.607 --> 0:28:47.647 Baby, please please Please don't prove. 0:28:53.687 --> 0:28:54.287 I do love it. 0:28:54.407 --> 0:28:58.327 The clip is her in jail and then he comes 0:28:58.327 --> 0:29:01.407 into jail and as she's been released on bail, and 0:29:01.447 --> 0:29:04.087 they lock eyes. And then my line that I like 0:29:04.127 --> 0:29:07.687 the most is I'm begging don't embarrass me, motherfucker. 0:29:07.287 --> 0:29:10.007 Especially because that's her real life boyfriend, and telling it 0:29:10.007 --> 0:29:12.087 to him in the music video while she. 0:29:12.167 --> 0:29:13.247 Suddenly ever, I look. 0:29:13.647 --> 0:29:17.007 She supported Taylor for part of this tour. She supported 0:29:17.007 --> 0:29:19.847 her in the Australian leg, and I sort of heard 0:29:19.847 --> 0:29:21.127 of her, but I didn't really know. 0:29:21.287 --> 0:29:23.487 Is she next Disney Start? I don't really. She's a 0:29:23.567 --> 0:29:26.847 tiny little She's like a pollypocket. I had a bloody 0:29:26.847 --> 0:29:28.927 Bumbshell yeah, I thought she was wearing a wig. She's 0:29:29.007 --> 0:29:30.407 like a if you put. 0:29:30.287 --> 0:29:33.727 Pamela Anderson, who was already tiny, but like, remember we 0:29:33.807 --> 0:29:35.247 used to put chip packets in the oven and they 0:29:35.287 --> 0:29:36.007 used to shrink down. 0:29:36.207 --> 0:29:39.527 She's like that. She's like a little shrinky Pamela had fun. 0:29:39.527 --> 0:29:40.327 When we were kids. 0:29:40.527 --> 0:29:43.887 Generation even a man in finance. 0:29:44.287 --> 0:29:47.367 We didn't have to leave us alone. And so she's 0:29:47.487 --> 0:29:50.367 like this little hot little thing. But she's kind of 0:29:50.607 --> 0:29:53.647 cute hot, she's not. Yeah, she's very anyway. 0:29:53.647 --> 0:29:55.927 It's a it's a good bop. I think it's a 0:29:55.927 --> 0:29:56.447 good bop. 0:29:57.167 --> 0:29:59.447 I've got a bit of a dark wreco this week. 0:29:59.567 --> 0:30:02.007 So over the weekend I went to a premiere for 0:30:02.047 --> 0:30:04.567 a new show that's out on stand. It's called Exposure. 0:30:04.927 --> 0:30:07.527 What brings you to til funeral? 0:30:09.327 --> 0:30:10.967 Friend? 0:30:13.487 --> 0:30:18.567 What happened over there? It's I think she was seeing 0:30:18.607 --> 0:30:19.047 some guy? 0:30:20.007 --> 0:30:22.447 What makes you think of? 0:30:22.847 --> 0:30:25.567 You know? A whole bunch of calls from someone she's 0:30:25.607 --> 0:30:27.967 saved as do not message. 0:30:29.727 --> 0:30:31.287 She's the guy from Girls Phone. 0:30:31.647 --> 0:30:32.687 I want to know what he did. 0:30:34.287 --> 0:30:37.407 I've watched the first three episodes and it is so good. 0:30:37.447 --> 0:30:41.087 It's led by an all female team, so the director, producer, creator, 0:30:41.127 --> 0:30:43.807 and leader all women. It's very dark and it has 0:30:43.847 --> 0:30:46.647 some thriller elements to it. So the series follows this 0:30:46.807 --> 0:30:49.847 young woman named Jax who's in her twenties and she 0:30:49.927 --> 0:30:54.087 experiences some sort of traumatic event, and the creator Lucy 0:30:54.207 --> 0:30:57.247 describes it as kind of a burning rage towards men, 0:30:57.367 --> 0:31:00.207 but also a desperation to be validated by them at 0:31:00.207 --> 0:31:04.087 the same time. Jax is played by Alice Englert. She's 0:31:04.127 --> 0:31:06.967 also starred in a recent film with Jennifer Connelly call 0:31:07.007 --> 0:31:07.567 bab Behavior. 0:31:07.607 --> 0:31:10.767 I've heard about this, yes, Jennifer Cundley is amazing. She's 0:31:10.847 --> 0:31:14.447 kind of one that you don't hear about much. She's 0:31:14.487 --> 0:31:16.367 phenomenal when you see her in a movie. She's like 0:31:16.367 --> 0:31:17.127 an actor's actor. 0:31:17.287 --> 0:31:19.127 And she's also in Dark Matter, which is our Apple 0:31:19.167 --> 0:31:21.967 TV also Good Wreck. But yeah, she's amazing. So the 0:31:22.007 --> 0:31:24.887 series just kind of follows her investigating this traumatic event 0:31:24.927 --> 0:31:27.167 that happened to her. A lot of men, there's a 0:31:27.207 --> 0:31:30.807 lot of sex. It's really dark, but highly recommend. It's 0:31:30.807 --> 0:31:31.647 out on Stan. 0:31:33.447 --> 0:31:35.047 Out loud as if you want to listen to us 0:31:35.127 --> 0:31:37.487 every day of the week, and why wouldn't you, You 0:31:37.527 --> 0:31:41.207 can get access to exclusive segments on Tuesdays and Thursdays 0:31:41.367 --> 0:31:44.767 by becoming a MoMA mea subscriber. Follow the link in 0:31:44.807 --> 0:31:47.607 the show notes to subscribe, and a big thank you 0:31:47.727 --> 0:31:51.967 to all our current subscribers. 0:31:57.767 --> 0:31:59.767 It's time for our best and Worst Moments of the week, 0:31:59.967 --> 0:32:02.887 where we take a little bit of a reflection on 0:32:02.927 --> 0:32:05.647 our personal lives and look at some personal highs personal 0:32:05.687 --> 0:32:07.567 lows from the week, no judgment. 0:32:08.167 --> 0:32:09.687 I'll start with my worst. It's the rule. 0:32:09.967 --> 0:32:13.847 I'm missing Lunar. I'm missing her so much. When a 0:32:13.927 --> 0:32:16.767 baby is away, it's a long chunk in their. 0:32:16.607 --> 0:32:17.727 Life, Like it's three weeks. 0:32:17.847 --> 0:32:19.807 It'll be three weeks when I see her next, which'll 0:32:19.847 --> 0:32:22.767 be on Sunday, meeting up. All the videos that I 0:32:22.767 --> 0:32:25.767 get sent and everything, and I just I'm worried she 0:32:25.847 --> 0:32:28.127 won't remember me and won't love me anymore, and that 0:32:28.207 --> 0:32:29.287 our bond will be broken. 0:32:29.567 --> 0:32:32.327 Of course it won't your grandma. 0:32:32.847 --> 0:32:34.727 I just feel like maybe she won't anyway. 0:32:35.927 --> 0:32:37.527 And what about Jesse? Do you miss all of them 0:32:37.567 --> 0:32:38.687 or just my son's back? 0:32:38.727 --> 0:32:40.247 But do you know who I also miss is my 0:32:40.327 --> 0:32:43.287 daughter is now actually with Jesse. My daughter's gone to 0:32:43.287 --> 0:32:48.047 Europe for a big after school trip, and she landed 0:32:48.327 --> 0:32:51.287 in Paris and then went straight to meet up with 0:32:51.407 --> 0:32:55.447 Jesse and Claire and their babies, and and yeah. 0:32:56.447 --> 0:32:59.327 What would happen if they fly in on Saturday? Night, 0:33:00.047 --> 0:33:02.847 and then Jessica says, Oh, we're just too tired. Do 0:33:02.847 --> 0:33:05.047 you mind if we don't? Can't tomorrow? 0:33:06.807 --> 0:33:08.127 I'll just be anyway. 0:33:08.407 --> 0:33:10.247 I'll be like, oh the babies, gently like, don't be 0:33:10.287 --> 0:33:13.687 there at three to take her. I just miss her 0:33:13.687 --> 0:33:15.647 so much. And apparently now she can say nana. I'm 0:33:15.727 --> 0:33:17.447 very excited about that, except I don't think she has 0:33:17.447 --> 0:33:20.807 any idea what that means. My best this week is 0:33:20.807 --> 0:33:23.167 the funny best. I cried in a No Filter interview, 0:33:23.287 --> 0:33:25.327 and I think I've only done that maybe two or 0:33:25.327 --> 0:33:28.007 three times in eight years. And the reason that it 0:33:28.047 --> 0:33:33.967 was my best is because it's really exciting to feel 0:33:34.447 --> 0:33:37.807 that engaged in something again. I've been, you know, really 0:33:37.847 --> 0:33:40.687 busy and really stretched, and I've been struggling with No 0:33:40.767 --> 0:33:41.807 Filter for a little while. 0:33:42.407 --> 0:33:43.447 I'm just really. 0:33:43.207 --> 0:33:45.447 Having a moment where I'm just leaning in to No 0:33:45.567 --> 0:33:48.967 Filter again. And this interview. I did three hours of 0:33:48.967 --> 0:33:53.127 No Filter interviews in half a day, and it was 0:33:53.167 --> 0:33:57.487 a lot. Yeah, and they were completely different interviews. I 0:33:57.607 --> 0:33:59.447 just was so engaged and I just loved them. 0:33:59.487 --> 0:34:01.367 Are you gonna tell us who made you cry? Yeah? 0:34:01.407 --> 0:34:03.967 So her name's Darcy Erlick. The name might be familiar 0:34:04.087 --> 0:34:05.847 someone I've wanted to interview for about ten years. She 0:34:06.007 --> 0:34:09.367 was abused by Malkalafa, who was the principal at a 0:34:09.487 --> 0:34:13.407 very religious girls school in Melbourne, and she fought to 0:34:13.407 --> 0:34:16.527 have her extradited from Israel back to Australia for ten 0:34:16.607 --> 0:34:20.607 years or more. She's now in jail and talking to Dussy, 0:34:20.607 --> 0:34:23.967 who's written this book. And actually when that happened to her, 0:34:24.727 --> 0:34:26.607 she could have written ten books about what had happened 0:34:26.607 --> 0:34:29.487 to her life until that point that she met Michael Lafer, 0:34:29.527 --> 0:34:31.967 and they all would have been terrible. But the reason 0:34:32.007 --> 0:34:34.167 I was crying, I was actually crying during the bad parts. 0:34:34.207 --> 0:34:36.727 I was crying at the end, and if they were 0:34:36.727 --> 0:34:37.567 happy tears. 0:34:38.047 --> 0:34:38.287 Yeah. 0:34:38.367 --> 0:34:40.007 So I can't wait for you to hear that it's 0:34:40.007 --> 0:34:41.647 going to be in a couple of weeks. I'll keep 0:34:41.687 --> 0:34:42.167 you posted. 0:34:42.607 --> 0:34:45.807 My worst is related to my recommendation. So when I 0:34:45.927 --> 0:34:48.167 was excited as Brent's been away and me and the 0:34:48.247 --> 0:34:50.527 kids were like, that's our outing on Saturday, as we're 0:34:50.527 --> 0:34:52.087 going to go see Inside Out and then ge Dumplings. 0:34:52.127 --> 0:34:55.007 That's so happy place, Dumblanks obviously, So I just booked 0:34:55.007 --> 0:34:57.207 the first session that was available at the movie theater 0:34:57.287 --> 0:34:59.447 nere Us. And what I didn't see is that it 0:34:59.527 --> 0:35:03.287 was the like little kids session where they have and 0:35:03.407 --> 0:35:05.327 this is amazing that they have this right, but I 0:35:05.407 --> 0:35:08.047 mean noisy, so it means mums and bubs. It's not 0:35:08.127 --> 0:35:10.847 mums and bubbs. But what is they have like a 0:35:10.887 --> 0:35:14.127 play literal playground at the front in front of the screen. 0:35:14.247 --> 0:35:19.767 Stop it so like with slides that go down. It's 0:35:19.807 --> 0:35:21.727 wrong with children that they can't sit through a movie. 0:35:21.767 --> 0:35:23.327 Either go to a movie or go to the playground. 0:35:23.367 --> 0:35:25.567 Don't have the playground at the movie. The playground is 0:35:25.607 --> 0:35:27.767 at the movies. And then the other thing that happens 0:35:27.847 --> 0:35:30.127 is that halfway through the movie it just stops and 0:35:30.167 --> 0:35:33.167 it's ten minutes of playtime. And none of those I 0:35:33.167 --> 0:35:36.327 would quite like that, and none of the kids had 0:35:36.567 --> 0:35:39.647 observed the ten minutes of playtime. And the thing is 0:35:39.647 --> 0:35:41.727 is my kids. As soon as I said to Billy 0:35:41.767 --> 0:35:44.247 once I realized that because I booked the tickets online, 0:35:44.687 --> 0:35:46.687 and as soon as I realized that it was the 0:35:46.767 --> 0:35:48.847 kid's session, because this little green thing comes up and 0:35:48.847 --> 0:35:51.487 it's like kids session, I told Billy and he was like, 0:35:51.927 --> 0:35:55.367 you have made a terrible mission. And I was like, 0:35:55.407 --> 0:35:57.247 what are you talking about? Bill? And he's like, I've 0:35:57.247 --> 0:36:00.087 been to one of those before. The kids never sit down, 0:36:00.447 --> 0:36:02.367 it's really noisy. You can't watch the movie and they 0:36:02.367 --> 0:36:03.687 just stop it halfway through it. And I was like, 0:36:03.727 --> 0:36:05.927 it won't be like that, Baby, it won't be like that. 0:36:05.967 --> 0:36:08.527 And it was exactly like that, and both of the 0:36:08.607 --> 0:36:11.727 kids hate it all the way through the movie theater. 0:36:11.967 --> 0:36:14.127 But the other thing it made me realize was is 0:36:14.127 --> 0:36:16.287 that when my kids were little, that would have been 0:36:16.407 --> 0:36:19.007 my idea of heaven, right, Like I used to take 0:36:19.047 --> 0:36:21.687 my baby to mums and bubs, the idea that I 0:36:21.807 --> 0:36:23.127 got a three year old and I could go and 0:36:23.167 --> 0:36:25.447 watch Inside Out too, Like it would have been great. 0:36:25.487 --> 0:36:27.607 But it just reminds you that once you're done with 0:36:27.647 --> 0:36:30.007 a live stage, you are done with that live stage. 0:36:30.087 --> 0:36:30.647 Right. Yeah. 0:36:30.687 --> 0:36:33.527 I'm just like, now I've got no tolerance anymore for 0:36:33.607 --> 0:36:35.727 the little children running around, and I'm just like, why 0:36:35.727 --> 0:36:38.407 can't they sit down? Why can't they just be quiet? 0:36:38.607 --> 0:36:40.607 And for children? And Billy are like that you are? 0:36:40.807 --> 0:36:41.127 Do you know? 0:36:41.167 --> 0:36:43.767 That's interesting because I'm going to retract what I said 0:36:43.767 --> 0:36:46.607 about either have a playground or a movie. 0:36:47.007 --> 0:36:49.127 I think that if you've got more than one kid. 0:36:49.687 --> 0:36:51.487 It's expensive to go to the movies, right, so if 0:36:51.487 --> 0:36:53.767 you have to get a babysitter or find childcare for 0:36:53.807 --> 0:36:56.367 the kid that's maybe too little to sit through the 0:36:56.367 --> 0:36:59.047 whole thing, and then your older kid really wants to 0:36:59.047 --> 0:37:00.407 sit through the whole thing. 0:37:00.567 --> 0:37:01.807 It's actually I think it's. 0:37:01.687 --> 0:37:04.567 A great idea. It's just not a good idea once 0:37:04.647 --> 0:37:07.607 your kids harder than four. If the error was yours, 0:37:07.807 --> 0:37:11.247 the error was one hundred three percent mine. As my 0:37:11.367 --> 0:37:13.087 children were still letting me know. 0:37:13.327 --> 0:37:15.607 They would love to be telling you I told you 0:37:15.607 --> 0:37:18.127 so oh so much, and that thing is Matildad could 0:37:18.167 --> 0:37:19.607 tell I felt really bad about it, and she was 0:37:19.607 --> 0:37:21.287 trying to make me feel better about it, and she's like, 0:37:21.327 --> 0:37:22.247 it's not that bad, Mum. 0:37:22.527 --> 0:37:26.247 I can still hear the movie, mom, whereas Billy was 0:37:26.327 --> 0:37:29.087 like glaring at me, like you're an idiot. 0:37:29.367 --> 0:37:31.487 It was great anyway on the slide in the minute 0:37:31.687 --> 0:37:33.047 didn't but I was quite tempered, and you. 0:37:33.087 --> 0:37:34.327 Recommended the movie, so you. 0:37:37.527 --> 0:37:38.847 My best was. 0:37:38.847 --> 0:37:40.847 I got to be a boomer for a night last week. 0:37:40.927 --> 0:37:42.687 We're very rock and roll in our house. Brent and 0:37:42.727 --> 0:37:44.687 I go to pub trivia every two weeks at our 0:37:44.727 --> 0:37:46.727 local pub around the corner. It's our date night. That's 0:37:46.767 --> 0:37:49.487 what we do. We have two drinks, we play a 0:37:49.527 --> 0:37:53.047 round of trivia. We're up there, right, and our nemesiss 0:37:53.487 --> 0:37:57.207 in that pub trip are called the Baby Boomerangs and 0:37:57.247 --> 0:37:59.127 they are boomers right. 0:37:59.447 --> 0:38:00.327 What's your team name? 0:38:00.647 --> 0:38:03.447 Two brains, one pen. That's what we're called smart and 0:38:03.767 --> 0:38:07.647 so the Baby Boomerangs are our Nemesisicatus is right. Anyway, 0:38:07.687 --> 0:38:10.287 Brent was away, he's been in New Zealand for a week, 0:38:10.407 --> 0:38:13.847 sees out, and the Baby Boomerangs offered a hand to 0:38:13.887 --> 0:38:15.607 me and said do you want to come to trivia 0:38:15.647 --> 0:38:17.527 anyway and join our team for the night. And I 0:38:17.727 --> 0:38:20.407 was like, that's so nice, and yes I do, thank you. 0:38:20.447 --> 0:38:22.687 I want to get out of the house. And so 0:38:22.847 --> 0:38:24.647 I went and I joined their team. And the thing 0:38:24.687 --> 0:38:27.767 that was so great about it, Mia is that we won. 0:38:28.247 --> 0:38:30.407 And the reason we won is because of my gen 0:38:30.607 --> 0:38:34.407 x energy and my wasted youth, because we were neck 0:38:34.447 --> 0:38:35.607 and neck with the team next to us. 0:38:35.647 --> 0:38:35.767 Right. 0:38:35.807 --> 0:38:37.807 The Boomerang's very smart. They know lots of things, but 0:38:37.807 --> 0:38:39.887 they're not very good at celebrities, not very good in gossip. 0:38:40.967 --> 0:38:44.087 This is where I am shy. The final round comes, 0:38:44.127 --> 0:38:46.007 we are neck and neck with the table next to us. 0:38:46.047 --> 0:38:47.847 Who there are nine of them, and one of my 0:38:47.927 --> 0:38:50.047 baby boomers thought that was a violation. 0:38:49.727 --> 0:38:50.127 Of the rules. 0:38:50.167 --> 0:38:51.327 But anyway, we digressed. 0:38:51.447 --> 0:38:52.207 They had a holly. 0:38:52.247 --> 0:38:56.767 So the last round was photographs of celebrities when they 0:38:56.807 --> 0:39:02.207 were children. No, I got ten out of ten easily. 0:39:02.807 --> 0:39:05.287 I just grabbed the piece of paper. I said, move over, 0:39:05.367 --> 0:39:07.927 this is my round. I filled it in. We got ten. 0:39:08.087 --> 0:39:10.327 We won well the photos and black and white some 0:39:10.447 --> 0:39:12.287 of them. That's whole other level. 0:39:12.447 --> 0:39:16.407 And we could have been pixelated and she still smashed it. 0:39:16.567 --> 0:39:19.007 We won, got the baby boomerangs over the line, and 0:39:19.007 --> 0:39:21.087 now my status in my community is high. 0:39:21.207 --> 0:39:21.967 That's a big slave. 0:39:22.087 --> 0:39:24.967 Good breads out of and bred need never come back, 0:39:25.047 --> 0:39:27.567 come back. I don't need him anymore. And best and worst. 0:39:27.847 --> 0:39:31.287 So my worst was in one single night, I ran 0:39:31.327 --> 0:39:32.567 into three xes. 0:39:33.007 --> 0:39:33.607 That's a lot. 0:39:33.727 --> 0:39:34.167 Where were you? 0:39:34.687 --> 0:39:37.047 I was at that stand event that was also part 0:39:37.087 --> 0:39:39.607 of my reco So I was at the stand event. 0:39:39.887 --> 0:39:41.847 It was part of the Sydney Film Festival, so there 0:39:41.887 --> 0:39:43.087 was a lot of people, so a lot of people 0:39:43.087 --> 0:39:46.207 could also buy tickets to watch the film. And as 0:39:46.247 --> 0:39:49.167 we were walking into the cinema, one of my exes 0:39:49.207 --> 0:39:52.967 was walking out of the previous one. Big surprise because 0:39:52.967 --> 0:39:54.647 he the reason we broke up was because he told 0:39:54.647 --> 0:39:58.967 me he was moving to Japan, so obviously no, he 0:39:59.127 --> 0:40:00.567 was very much not in Japan. 0:40:00.687 --> 0:40:00.807 Jo. 0:40:01.327 --> 0:40:05.767 He was at the Sydney Film Festival and we were like, oh, 0:40:05.927 --> 0:40:06.927 I Like what. 0:40:08.687 --> 0:40:16.527 Motherfucker? He said, I in Japan. 0:40:18.287 --> 0:40:19.327 Japan looks great on you. 0:40:20.727 --> 0:40:21.487 He was like no. 0:40:21.487 --> 0:40:25.247 No, I said, I wanted to get Japanese food, and. 0:40:25.127 --> 0:40:26.127 Then you ghosted me. 0:40:26.727 --> 0:40:26.927 No. 0:40:27.287 --> 0:40:29.447 I was with a head of Entertainment Laura Brodney, so 0:40:29.447 --> 0:40:31.807 I hid behind her because she's very tall, so he 0:40:31.847 --> 0:40:34.167 didn't see me. And then we went and found our seats. 0:40:34.167 --> 0:40:36.807 It was assigned seating unfortunately, so we had to sit 0:40:36.847 --> 0:40:38.927 in our seats. And then I was looking over and 0:40:38.967 --> 0:40:40.447 I was like that guy looks really familiar, and he 0:40:40.527 --> 0:40:43.167 was like approaching. I had sex with him, and he 0:40:43.287 --> 0:40:45.927 was another ex boyfriend who I dated in my early twenties. 0:40:46.127 --> 0:40:50.447 He sat directly in front of me director Hello. No, 0:40:50.527 --> 0:40:53.367 we looked at each other. He was meant to be here. 0:40:53.487 --> 0:40:55.407 We broke up and there was a mutual breakup. 0:40:55.687 --> 0:40:56.767 When's the third one? 0:40:57.007 --> 0:40:59.687 Third one was after the event, I went to a 0:40:59.727 --> 0:41:04.447 friend's party and my ex was at that part. I 0:41:04.527 --> 0:41:06.767 was except he was like kind of an expected run 0:41:06.767 --> 0:41:08.927 in because I knew he was invited, But when I 0:41:08.927 --> 0:41:12.327 saw I was like, so ago the Joseph Christmas Path. 0:41:12.447 --> 0:41:14.007 I feel like it couldn't even be a sitcom because 0:41:14.007 --> 0:41:14.607 it's too much. 0:41:14.727 --> 0:41:18.327 Going back to the japan one, Yeah, you clearly haven't 0:41:18.367 --> 0:41:20.607 been following him in social media, Like were you not 0:41:20.727 --> 0:41:22.887 curious to see how it turned out in Tokyo? 0:41:22.967 --> 0:41:25.647 No, because I really really liked him, and it would 0:41:25.647 --> 0:41:27.687 like hurt every time I would look at his social 0:41:27.807 --> 0:41:29.967 So I even told him. I was like, Hey, I'm 0:41:30.007 --> 0:41:32.047 just gonna unfollow you because this is too much for me. 0:41:32.327 --> 0:41:34.447 It's smart, and he was like thank god, because I'm 0:41:34.447 --> 0:41:35.207 not actually. 0:41:37.167 --> 0:41:39.527 Now go through with that elaborate. 0:41:40.927 --> 0:41:44.407 Japan Oh, I'm not so great. What's your best? 0:41:44.767 --> 0:41:47.007 My best was actually the house party I went to 0:41:47.087 --> 0:41:49.167 afterwards because it was his massive house party. I always 0:41:49.167 --> 0:41:50.847 thought I was a bit too old for house parties, 0:41:51.207 --> 0:41:53.167 but I was like one of the other ones there's 0:41:53.207 --> 0:41:55.127 but I had so much fun. It was my best 0:41:55.247 --> 0:41:58.407 because in the whole situation I was in seeing my 0:41:58.487 --> 0:42:01.807 ex'es and the week massive house party I usually get 0:42:01.927 --> 0:42:05.127 quite tipsy at those kind of events because it's like alcohol, 0:42:05.247 --> 0:42:07.607 you're buying your own. Alcohol is pretty cheap. Also, we're 0:42:07.607 --> 0:42:09.687 all having house parties because no one can afford to anymore. 0:42:10.247 --> 0:42:11.287 They're back, so it's back. 0:42:11.367 --> 0:42:13.207 So I haven't been drinking the whole week. And then 0:42:13.287 --> 0:42:16.047 I just kind of like stayed a bit sensible because 0:42:16.047 --> 0:42:18.767 I've since I've gotten older and started to really value 0:42:18.767 --> 0:42:19.567 my Sunday time. 0:42:19.727 --> 0:42:21.647 Yes, and I just want It's one of the first 0:42:21.647 --> 0:42:23.727 signs you're growing up, Like I don't want to ruin 0:42:23.727 --> 0:42:24.327 the whole day. 0:42:24.447 --> 0:42:26.207 And I was like, ah, I have like to do 0:42:26.287 --> 0:42:28.447 my washing at ten because I have them too busy 0:42:28.487 --> 0:42:30.807 during the week in my washing. So I ended up 0:42:30.847 --> 0:42:32.927 not drinking as much and I had a really nice 0:42:32.967 --> 0:42:35.207 Sunday and it was like the first time where I 0:42:35.287 --> 0:42:37.767 feel like I've stepped back from alcohol. 0:42:38.247 --> 0:42:40.647 Good for you. Yeah, Look, she's mid before her time. 0:42:40.807 --> 0:42:42.207 Was there any finance guys there? 0:42:42.527 --> 0:42:45.327 There weren't any finance guys there. If there were, I 0:42:45.527 --> 0:42:46.967 would have been a bit drunk. 0:42:47.847 --> 0:42:49.687 Am I have a question for you before we go. 0:42:50.127 --> 0:42:54.087 Have you had of the term mattress since when you 0:42:54.087 --> 0:42:57.167 think of becoming a mother one day, if indeed you 0:42:57.167 --> 0:42:58.007 would like to or not. 0:42:58.447 --> 0:42:59.247 Do you imagine that. 0:42:59.207 --> 0:43:02.287 It would change you or do you think it freaks 0:43:02.327 --> 0:43:03.487 you out that it would change you? 0:43:03.687 --> 0:43:04.407 Does it change you? 0:43:04.607 --> 0:43:05.087 Surely not? 0:43:05.367 --> 0:43:07.207 Oh my god, doesn't happen? 0:43:07.447 --> 0:43:12.047 And then yesterday's episode Holly changes everything. 0:43:11.687 --> 0:43:15.007 Both with jem of Bath who has been a mother 0:43:15.047 --> 0:43:17.767 for eighteen months, about the concept of mattressence and that 0:43:17.927 --> 0:43:20.807 is like adolescence, but what happens to you and your 0:43:20.807 --> 0:43:22.567 identity after you have kids. 0:43:22.567 --> 0:43:26.327 Here's inside out three yes say, oh my god. 0:43:26.527 --> 0:43:28.767 First it was pubitty and now it should be make 0:43:28.887 --> 0:43:31.447 matt trescence. Riley can skip ahead a little bit. 0:43:31.607 --> 0:43:32.807 Here's a little sneak peak. 0:43:32.647 --> 0:43:35.807 Of the chat. Did having a baby change your lives? 0:43:35.927 --> 0:43:37.607 One hundred percent? Isn't that the point? 0:43:38.007 --> 0:43:38.567 Exactly? 0:43:38.727 --> 0:43:41.207 Going through birth was a real kind of light bulb 0:43:41.247 --> 0:43:44.207 moment for me because I learned so much about my body. 0:43:44.327 --> 0:43:48.127 And then when it comes to relationships, nothing tests more 0:43:48.167 --> 0:43:51.807 than a baby. We know that I see women having 0:43:51.967 --> 0:43:56.007 almost an existential Oh my god, who even am I? 0:43:57.007 --> 0:43:59.447 And men just don't like their lives are very different 0:43:59.487 --> 0:44:01.047 and they really love this baby and they might have 0:44:01.087 --> 0:44:03.687 to make sacrifices and everything but who they are as 0:44:03.687 --> 0:44:07.007 an individual is not something that changes in the same 0:44:07.007 --> 0:44:09.887 way that it does for a mother. We will put 0:44:09.927 --> 0:44:11.567 a link to that episode in the show notes so 0:44:11.607 --> 0:44:12.967 you can listen right now. 0:44:13.167 --> 0:44:16.167 We're done for the week. We are done for the week. 0:44:16.287 --> 0:44:20.247 Thank you em Vernon for being an absolutely excellent standout 0:44:20.287 --> 0:44:23.767 for stand in, not stand out, a standout stand in 0:44:24.247 --> 0:44:27.487 for Jesse Stevens. We have loved having you around. I 0:44:27.527 --> 0:44:29.967 know the outlouders have to thank you to all our 0:44:30.007 --> 0:44:33.087 out louders for lending us sure is. This episode was 0:44:33.127 --> 0:44:36.647 produced by Emmalin Gazillis. The assistant producer was Charlie Blackman, 0:44:36.847 --> 0:44:39.367 and there's been audio production from Leah Porge's. And we 0:44:39.407 --> 0:44:41.807 will see you all next week. By by. 0:44:43.887 --> 0:44:46.687 Shout out to any Muma Mia subscribers listening. 0:44:46.847 --> 0:44:49.127 If you love the show and want to support us 0:44:49.167 --> 0:44:51.687 as well, subscribing to mom and Mia is the very 0:44:51.727 --> 0:44:53.687 best way to do so. There is a link in 0:44:53.727 --> 0:44:54.807 the episode description.