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Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA mea podcast. Mama Mayor acknowledges

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Speaker 1: the traditional owners of land and waters that this podcast

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Speaker 1: is recorded on out Louders.

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Speaker 2: You've no doubt heard the news today that former US

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Speaker 2: President Donald Trump has been found guilty.

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Speaker 1: Of all thirty four.

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Speaker 2: Charges in the hush money trial about his relationship with

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Speaker 2: the Paorn actress Stormy Daniels. Now lots of questions. Can

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Speaker 2: he still run for president?

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Speaker 1: Will he go to jail?

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Speaker 2: Can he be president if he's in jail? We will

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Speaker 2: be unpacking all of this on our Monday show, but

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Speaker 2: we are trying to make Friday's news free. We are

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Speaker 2: trying to make the Friday Show a little bit of

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Speaker 2: a break from the relentless news cycle. So for now,

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Speaker 2: enjoy our Friday episode.

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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Mama Mayor Out Loud and to

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Speaker 1: our Friday show where we take a break from the

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Speaker 1: news cycle and breathe out. Are you even praying him mind

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Speaker 1: for you?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Today is Friday, the thirty first of May, and I'm

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Speaker 1: Holly Wainwright. If you missed Monday's AEP this week, then

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Speaker 1: you missed us talking about Lizzo being the boto of

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Speaker 1: a South Park joke, what makes you middle class? And

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Speaker 1: your creepiest trait according to your star sign.

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Speaker 2: I'm me Friedman And on Wednesday we talked about the

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Speaker 2: horror's unfolding in Raffer and I'm Jesse Stevens.

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Speaker 3: And to listen to both of those episodes, there's a

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Speaker 3: link in our show notes.

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Speaker 1: But on today's show, Guy Friend's Side, Friends and Friends

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Speaker 1: who take the piss, also a devastated daughter's warning, bridging

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Speaker 1: and behind the scenes, and Jesse's got a podcast for you. Yes,

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Speaker 1: it's our recommendations and our best and worst of the week,

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Speaker 1: which include a dirty rat, cat calling and a sick

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Speaker 1: child's very adult requests. But first me a.

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Speaker 2: Freedman in case you missed it, forget face filler and

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Speaker 2: anti wrinkle injections. The latest plastic surgery to boom are

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Speaker 2: penis fillers? Any questions? Why not, Mannie, I'm sure an

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Speaker 2: article from the Cut this week, no pun intended, which

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Speaker 2: was obviously about circumcised penis fillers. It was called inside

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Speaker 2: the penis piller booms. Some girth masters are made, not born.

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Speaker 3: So are we talking where we're adding to girth? We're

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Speaker 3: not talking about it because I don't know how filler

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Speaker 3: would increase length, but I can see how it doesn't

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Speaker 3: increase It's.

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Speaker 2: With alright, we want to it makes it wider. Okay?

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Speaker 3: So have you ever looked at a penis and thought,

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Speaker 3: wouldn't mind's extra girth on that?

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Speaker 2: I can't answer that question. I can think of one time.

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Speaker 2: It's when I was a lot younger.

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Speaker 1: Unheard of.

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Speaker 3: I don't think I've ever looked at one close enough

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Speaker 3: to think that it needs some plastics.

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Speaker 2: But I don't know anywhere heard me like you know?

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Speaker 2: You do you? It's not the size of the wand

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Speaker 2: it's the something of the wizard.

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Speaker 1: Let's keep going, isn't that right?

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Speaker 2: Anyway? The article from the cart refers to this licensed

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Speaker 2: nurse practitioner who known online as Injector Chris, and he

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Speaker 2: runs a clinic that has become incredibly busy with a

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Speaker 2: penile girth enhancement procedure, also colloquially known as penis filler.

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Speaker 2: It has now quickly become the bulk pun intended of

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Speaker 2: his working life. Injector Chris injects vials first into the

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Speaker 2: sides of the shaft and then the mushroomy bit no

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Speaker 2: the sides or the sides. We're getting to the mushroom,

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Speaker 2: then more around the glands. That's the mushroom a bit,

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Speaker 2: I think. And then he uses his thumbs to massage

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Speaker 2: out any filler lumps, sculpting through what he calls a

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Speaker 2: hand job, kidding through what he calls transitional zones, like

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Speaker 2: a potter smoothing an edge of.

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Speaker 1: Clay hot, isn't it?

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Speaker 2: He says, it goes beyond just filling up a penis.

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Speaker 1: Well, that's relief.

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Speaker 2: I really do think that there is an artistry to it,

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Speaker 2: to making it look good esthetically pleasing, no lumps, smooth, consistent,

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Speaker 2: looks natural, feels natural, all those things. What I do

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Speaker 2: for the face as an artist is really what I'm

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Speaker 2: doing down there as well. And I think it just

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Speaker 2: takes knowing what a nice penis looks like.

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Speaker 3: I have a question, does it have to be a

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Speaker 3: wrecked when you're feeling it or does it become a

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Speaker 3: wrect when you're feeling it?

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Speaker 2: Do you know what? That's very interesting because that might

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Speaker 2: be I can only think about when I've had my

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Speaker 2: eyes lasered, which is a little bit different. But you

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Speaker 2: meant to look at this particular dot while they laser

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Speaker 2: your eyes, like your eyeball to correct your vision, and

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Speaker 2: if you look away then because that's the laser, right,

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Speaker 2: it burns the wrong part and all you want to

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Speaker 2: do is look away. And then you think, have I

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Speaker 2: looked away? Should I look back? Should I not move?

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Speaker 2: And then I'm imagining for a guy maybe he's lying

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Speaker 2: there going don't get an erection.

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Speaker 3: Don't get direction, don't direction? Do you reckon that? This

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Speaker 3: boom is also to do with the rise in like

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Speaker 3: dick pics and videos.

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Speaker 2: And all of that, because I was gonna say pornography,

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Speaker 2: but you're right, it's probably dickpics. It's like just my

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Speaker 2: dick look wide enough.

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Speaker 3: In this, yeah, the average person and doesn't stare enough

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Speaker 3: to know whether it's beautiful. But then pornography as well,

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Speaker 3: I wonder. I think I read with this like there

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Speaker 3: is a lot of people on only fans who get

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Speaker 3: like you're just looking at it too much.

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Speaker 2: So of course you can, since I've looked at porn,

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Speaker 2: But I don't know if there are a lot of

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Speaker 2: close ups of dix in porn.

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Speaker 3: I imagine there are only man's porn. I think I

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Speaker 3: think there are apparently.

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Speaker 1: Filla on the internet originally. Yeah, apparently I did. Apparently

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Speaker 1: I ordered some penis filler on the internet recently because

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Speaker 1: I got a phone call, like my phone rang the

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Speaker 1: other day and I answered it, which is weird. Why

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Speaker 1: did I do that? And it was a robo call

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Speaker 1: saying your order for penis enhancements. It was injecticris.

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Speaker 2: That sounds like a prank call from now.

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Speaker 1: I being a midlife person, I like just hung up

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Speaker 1: and like threw my phone across the room and was

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Speaker 1: like hiding from it because I was like, it's a scam.

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Speaker 1: It's a scamots trying to get me.

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Speaker 2: You're right, trying to get my money. That's very funny.

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Speaker 2: One more thing to tell you. According to injector CRUs,

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Speaker 2: the average patient requires seven to fifteen syringes for great results,

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Speaker 2: and for fifteen injections it would cost you over ten

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Speaker 2: thousand dollars US, so it's around twenty thousand dollars Australia.

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Speaker 3: All I want to say is before and after, That's

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Speaker 3: all I want.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure that that is available to you, I think,

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Speaker 1: but just do it on someone else's computer. Yeah, in

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Speaker 1: our meetings, not that you'd know from the topic. We

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Speaker 1: just did but in our meetings we do a lot

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Speaker 1: of thinking and talking.

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Speaker 2: About what you're listening, doubt it, But I want to

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Speaker 2: talk to you about every week, right, And we'll often

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Speaker 2: bring things from around the Internet's a bit like show

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Speaker 2: and tell.

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Speaker 1: Look at this interesting jem I found, and we do

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Speaker 1: a bit of convincing each.

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Speaker 2: Other, and me have brought penis filler.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, of course, surprise, surprise, and we were like, oh,

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Speaker 1: let her do it, it's fine. And this week we'd

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Speaker 1: all brought a friendship topic just because they don't have

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Speaker 1: a degreeous as how many more times do you need

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Speaker 1: to rub it in.

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Speaker 2: You know the other.

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Speaker 1: Fecal transplants last week, your mind, it's in the gutter. Anyway,

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Speaker 1: we all brought something about friends, and so we thought, well,

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Speaker 1: why don't we roll them together and talk about friendship,

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Speaker 1: because we know that that's something that we all talk

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Speaker 1: about a lot. Anyway, And I had brought an article

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Speaker 1: that I'd read in the Atlantic called go ahead and

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Speaker 1: make fun of your friends, right, and it's by a

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Speaker 1: riticle Kier and Satia, And they argued in favor of teasing,

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Speaker 1: even verging on cruel banter between friends, and how these

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Speaker 1: days it's the only kind of sort of slightly risque,

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Speaker 1: the kind of jokes you can't make in public humor

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Speaker 1: that you ever hear is that kind of banter between friends,

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Speaker 1: and they talk about it's importance. And it got me

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Speaker 1: thinking in the tradition of Garry Bradshaw and exactly, I

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Speaker 1: couldn't help but wonder taking the piss has long been

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Speaker 1: the mainstay of traditional male friendships, particularly in Australia. Right,

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Speaker 1: if you spend enough time around traditional kind of Aussie blokes,

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Speaker 1: you will wonder if they like each other even at all,

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Speaker 1: even a little bit, because all they do is hang shit,

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Speaker 1: as we say in Australia, on each other.

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Speaker 3: And there's often one or two in the group that

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Speaker 3: disproportionately a shot on.

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Speaker 2: Yes, it's like there is yeah one that you.

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Speaker 1: Can see bonding thing. And as curiosity argued, he said, banter, teasing, mockery, prankory,

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Speaker 1: taking the pierce leg pulling Josh in quippery is very bonding, right,

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Speaker 1: And I was thinking, do women bond in cruelty as

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Speaker 1: much as men discuss?

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Speaker 3: That's so interesting because a lot of my friendships have this.

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Speaker 3: When I say friendships, though maybe I'm talking about family,

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Speaker 3: like my family relationships are very based on mutual piss taking,

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Speaker 3: and there is something so deeply intimate about it, because

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Speaker 3: what you're really saying is, I don't love you because

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Speaker 3: I think you're perfect. I don't even love you for

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Speaker 3: all the great things about you. I love you even

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Speaker 3: though you're the shittest, you're disorganized, or you're you did

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Speaker 3: that weird thing that time, or like, I see all

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Speaker 3: of your flaws and I love you anyway. And that's

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Speaker 3: what the humor often does. But then I think about it,

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Speaker 3: and I'm like, I have a lot of that in

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Speaker 3: my relationship with Luca, With my brothers, I think the

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Speaker 3: three of us have a lot of that. But if

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Speaker 3: I go out for a girl's dinner, do we take

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Speaker 3: the piss out of it? You pump each other up,

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Speaker 3: you pump each other out?

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Speaker 1: Women do I do?

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Speaker 3: In my group texts? You give them ship?

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Speaker 2: Yeah? Like what like just teasing people?

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Speaker 1: She hadn't thought this through.

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Speaker 2: May you'll send me a video and maybe everybody does

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Speaker 2: it to me and I getting confused. To me, it's

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Speaker 2: always been a sign of intimacy.

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Speaker 1: Is that thing right?

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Speaker 2: For the way I bond.

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Speaker 1: People really close to you can do it, but That's

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Speaker 1: why it's very tricky in friendships. You can't just meet

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Speaker 1: someone start hanging shit on them like your problem.

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Speaker 2: You know you're a one hundred percent right, No, you

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Speaker 2: can't because also you don't know what to tease them about.

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Speaker 2: Like to me, it's all about in jokes, like you

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Speaker 2: know what I did before about saying stop bragging about university,

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Speaker 2: Like that's funny because it's a piss take of you,

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Speaker 2: but it's also a piss take of me. I don't know.

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Speaker 2: There's something about about it that's very bonding, but then

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Speaker 2: when does it just become mean?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and if you're sitting around a table with a

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Speaker 3: bunch of girlfriends, it's been satirized. The way that you

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Speaker 3: pump each other up, like to a ridiculous degree is

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Speaker 3: you sit there and someone's like, I got to work

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Speaker 3: and don't do anything, and it's like you need to

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Speaker 3: pay rise, and like everyone just like gets on and

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Speaker 3: they're like, you deserve more, you're too good for your boyfriend.

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Speaker 3: You're like everyone's kind of cheer girling each other. And

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Speaker 3: I think that that's a result of maybe acknowledging that

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Speaker 3: everyone's self esteem is and that's just.

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Speaker 2: Realized it's my close friends. We all take the piss

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Speaker 2: out of ourselves, and that's a different thing, yeah right, yeah,

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Speaker 2: because you also can't take the piss out of yourself

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Speaker 2: with people who don't know you because they won't understand. Yeah. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: So to me, that's the other side of it. It's

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Speaker 2: that I might not take the piss out of you,

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Speaker 2: but I will definitely take the piss out of myself.

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Speaker 2: And you only probably do that also when you feel

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Speaker 2: safe and know by.

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Speaker 1: Some because we have all been whether it was at

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Speaker 1: school or still as adults on the receiving end of

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Speaker 1: what people will say is a piss take, but it's.

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Speaker 2: Actually just a disk yeah out diss right.

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Speaker 1: So, and then when you look a bit offended or affronted,

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Speaker 1: it's like, well, you can't take a joke like that

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Speaker 1: is a very well established way of bullying someone. Basically,

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Speaker 1: I do take the piss of my out of my

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Speaker 1: friends to a point, but when I think about it,

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of emotional intelligence about what I will

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Speaker 1: take the piss out of them about and what I

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Speaker 1: will not, And I will not take the piss out

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Speaker 1: of them about anything that I know they're sensitive about. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: like you can only really take the piss out of

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Speaker 1: people about things that don't matter or that they or

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Speaker 1: any o themselves acknowledge.

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Speaker 3: So if I've got two mates who are losing their hair,

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Speaker 3: and one mate talks about it all the time, I'll

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Speaker 3: have a go at him about it, but the one

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Speaker 3: who doesn't, that would be very uncole for me to

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Speaker 3: suddenly be like, I'm going to start trashing on you

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Speaker 3: because you're losing your head.

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Speaker 2: But then sometimes you can just be in a sensitive moment,

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Speaker 2: like I remember, there's something that I always take the

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Speaker 2: piss out of you for a whole, which is making

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Speaker 2: you kid and naplan cake one of your children. Yes,

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Speaker 2: and usually that's the thing that I take the piss

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Speaker 2: out of you on a regular basis. But there was

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Speaker 2: one time when I did and you just were like

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Speaker 2: snapped at me. You were not having it. I remember

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Speaker 2: it was another time when I was away and you

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Speaker 2: guys recorded an episode about me, and you took the

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Speaker 2: piss out of me for being too much and like

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Speaker 2: how you needed a break. And it just happened that

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Speaker 2: I was listening to that episode when I was feeling

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Speaker 2: exactly sensitive about that that I was too much and

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Speaker 2: that I was just a pain in the ass and

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Speaker 2: I started crying and then I came back and made

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Speaker 2: you feel really bad.

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Speaker 1: Sometimes it can reveal something to you that you didn't know.

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Speaker 1: Like one of my friends did this recent well not recently,

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Speaker 1: a while ago, when they made a about my parenting there.

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Speaker 2: It was a real shock to me, like that's how

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Speaker 2: people see.

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Speaker 1: I was, and it really upset me. And they were

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Speaker 1: joking and I was like, oh, this is what they

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Speaker 1: say about me when I'm not there. And that's the

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Speaker 1: thing about piss taking, right, is that if you are

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Speaker 1: in on it, it's okay. But it had walked that line,

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Speaker 1: and I think the reason why men do it in

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Speaker 1: a different way, And I'm sure that not all men

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Speaker 1: feel good about it. Let's be honest. But when you're

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Speaker 1: saying how women bolster each other up all the time

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Speaker 1: because we're probably coming from a lower base of self regard,

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Speaker 1: it's because of the universe, whereas men are often coming

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Speaker 1: from a place of like I'm great, aren't I and

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Speaker 1: everybody's like pulling them down?

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Speaker 2: Do you reckon too?

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Speaker 3: Because piss taking is so about context. I remember sitting

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Speaker 3: with a group of friends once and we were giving

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Speaker 3: one of our friends hit in a way that we

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Speaker 3: often have, and someone who was not part of the

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Speaker 3: friend group called it out and was like, was very

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Speaker 3: offended on behalf of this person and accused us of

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Speaker 3: being discriminatory against this person, and that person had to say, oh,

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Speaker 3: there's actually a really long joke about why Wow. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's okay, But that's sort of the Internet. And when

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Speaker 3: you think about how a lot of our friendships are formed,

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Speaker 3: or a lot of our friendships are kept up because

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Speaker 3: so much of it is texting, which is a very

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Speaker 3: different form of communication and shit giving, I feel like

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Speaker 3: the piss taking we've had to take the edge off

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Speaker 3: a bit because piss taking has to be done in person, office,

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Speaker 3: and it has to be done with the right people.

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Speaker 2: There also has to be a perceived equality in power

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Speaker 2: balance or you have to be taking the piss up

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Speaker 2: not down. So remember when Claire came on the podcast

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Speaker 2: where you wouldn't because you were on Matt leave. We

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Speaker 2: got a lot of feedback from out Loud as wise

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Speaker 2: me A being so horrible to Claire, and it's like, Claire,

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Speaker 2: I've known Claire as long as I know you. Admittedly

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Speaker 2: she didn't live in my house, for six months during

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Speaker 2: lockdown and didn't marry my son. But she and I

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Speaker 2: take the piss out of each other all the time,

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Speaker 2: and I really love that about our relationship. But when

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Speaker 2: she was on the show out Louders didn't like it.

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Speaker 2: I could tell she also couldn't push back on me

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Speaker 2: as hard as she normally would. It's a different that

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Speaker 2: the dynamic was different, and people really picked that up

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Speaker 2: and they didn't like it. And that's a weird thing.

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Speaker 2: Like at work, I see everybody is just my equal,

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Speaker 2: but I know I am the big boss, and I've

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Speaker 2: got to be careful taking the piss out of someone.

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Speaker 3: And if you hang shit on someone whose first day

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Speaker 3: it is and you're like nice shoes, it's like.

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Speaker 2: Well, and it's like the people who know me understand

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Speaker 2: that that's the biggest compliment. And I never would unless

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Speaker 2: I thought you were great. Yeah, But they don't know that,

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Speaker 2: and the people listening don't know that.

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Speaker 3: I came across an article this week in the cart

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Speaker 3: and it was called where have all My Guy Friends Gone?

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Speaker 3: Which is kind of related to what you were just

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Speaker 3: talking about, Holly, and the author, Sarah Wheeler, writes about

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Speaker 3: rewatching my best friend's wedding and how she'd actually misremembered

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Speaker 3: the plot. She said, it's not a movie about a

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Speaker 3: woman who is in love with her best friend. It's

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Speaker 3: a movie about a woman who knows that once her

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Speaker 3: best friend is married, the friendship will never be the same.

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Speaker 3: And the idea, of course, is that straight men and

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Speaker 3: straight women can't be friends because they'll always be the

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Speaker 3: threat of sexual attraction, which isn't in line with my

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Speaker 3: own experience of most people's And this writer Sarah Wheeler

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Speaker 3: spoke to a bunch of people about why their opposite

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Speaker 3: sex friendships had faded. So some women said that they

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Speaker 3: actually found the men's female partners tended to be more interesting,

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Speaker 3: so they ended up bonding more with the female partners.

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Speaker 3: Let's say they had a male friend and then they

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Speaker 3: went and got married, and they were like, oh, I

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Speaker 3: get a lot more out of her than I do

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Speaker 3: out of you. And others said it was understood that

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Speaker 3: while you could keep your former friends who were men,

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Speaker 3: you're not allowed to make new ones.

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Speaker 2: So the old ones get grandfathered in. Yeah, but you

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Speaker 2: can't commens.

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Speaker 3: New because it can feel threatening.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what's funny? You say that this is

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Speaker 2: a tangent. But I was listening to Glenn and Dooyle's

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Speaker 2: podcast and she and her wife Abby were talking about

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Speaker 2: jealousy and they were saying that it can be quite

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Speaker 2: complicated to navigate in same sex relationships because if someone

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Speaker 2: makes a new friend, they could also potentially be a

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Speaker 2: romantic partner, So it can become yes, clearly delineated. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: what is and isn't it like I go on dates

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Speaker 2: with girls all the time. It's friends like friend dates.

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Speaker 2: But if I was doing that with Oh, I've just

365
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Speaker 2: made this new guy friend, I'm going out yea. You know,

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Speaker 2: I do have one guy friend that I go out

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Speaker 2: to dinner with all the time. But he's gay, although

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Speaker 2: he wasn't gay when we started being friends. He just

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Speaker 2: spent enough time with you.

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Speaker 1: I think I'm realized when I read this that I'm

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Speaker 1: a very basic bitch because I have followed the pattern. Definitely.

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Speaker 1: I used to have loads of guy friends when I

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Speaker 1: was young, loads.

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Speaker 2: Some of my best friends were guys.

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Speaker 1: Nearly all those relationships are faith Well, you move with

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Speaker 1: Australian friends, I mean and English friends. Friends shift when

377
00:17:52,847 --> 00:17:56,607
Speaker 1: life stages anyway, right, They move away, people couple up,

378
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Speaker 1: people have babies. You know, I was much in common anymore. Whatever,

379
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Speaker 1: but there is a particular and it's a shame like

380
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Speaker 1: dynamic because you know how you just said that sometimes

381
00:18:06,007 --> 00:18:08,647
Speaker 1: if your best guy friend gets married, then you have

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Speaker 1: to work out what your relationship is with their wife's partner,

383
00:18:12,527 --> 00:18:15,527
Speaker 1: or even if they're not married, but whatever, either you

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Speaker 1: become friends with her too, and then you're kind of

385
00:18:20,087 --> 00:18:24,127
Speaker 1: a couple friends couple friends, or you might not want

386
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Speaker 1: to be besties with her. But somehow, it's like there

387
00:18:26,567 --> 00:18:28,007
Speaker 1: was a quote in here that was like, somehow I

388
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Speaker 1: get lumped with my best friend's wife just because we're

389
00:18:30,287 --> 00:18:32,247
Speaker 1: the same gender. But actually I want to catch up

390
00:18:32,247 --> 00:18:35,887
Speaker 1: with my friend. And I have one of my guy

391
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Speaker 1: friends that I do still see all the time. Now

392
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Speaker 1: I only ever see him with his wife, which is

393
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Speaker 1: fine because I like her, But that wasn't our dynamic.

394
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Speaker 1: Our dynamic was it was the two of us. It

395
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Speaker 1: makes me sad, actually, because I used to really love

396
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Speaker 1: having lots of guy friends. But when I think about it,

397
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Speaker 1: and I'm friends with some of my friend's husbands, but

398
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Speaker 1: we're not the kind of friends where i'd like call

399
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Speaker 1: them up for a chat. Do you know what I mean, yeah,

400
00:18:56,767 --> 00:19:00,087
Speaker 1: it is sad like I have followed a boring heterosexual

401
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,927
Speaker 1: maturity path of that drop.

402
00:19:02,047 --> 00:19:03,447
Speaker 2: Or guy friends than anyone. I know.

403
00:19:03,847 --> 00:19:08,167
Speaker 3: My two best friends are both men, and I have

404
00:19:08,727 --> 00:19:14,047
Speaker 3: worked really hard at keeping those But in Bridesmaids then

405
00:19:14,407 --> 00:19:16,367
Speaker 3: well because I had clammed my sister and then I

406
00:19:16,407 --> 00:19:19,247
Speaker 3: had Andy, who is also my best friend. But one

407
00:19:19,327 --> 00:19:22,567
Speaker 3: was emc like they were. They were very involved.

408
00:19:22,607 --> 00:19:23,967
Speaker 2: He made one take some photos.

409
00:19:24,007 --> 00:19:28,687
Speaker 3: I did exactly right. But I wonder if particular life

410
00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,527
Speaker 3: stages are more gendered than others.

411
00:19:30,727 --> 00:19:31,527
Speaker 1: I think that's true.

412
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Speaker 3: So when I was in my twenties, these two guys,

413
00:19:34,367 --> 00:19:37,087
Speaker 3: like I spent all my uni years working.

414
00:19:37,367 --> 00:19:39,447
Speaker 2: Was there never any like did you sleep with either

415
00:19:39,527 --> 00:19:42,407
Speaker 2: of them? No? I didn't know. Was there ever any nice?

416
00:19:42,447 --> 00:19:43,847
Speaker 2: I mean, you're all attractive people.

417
00:19:44,167 --> 00:19:47,327
Speaker 3: No, we just really really get along. And maybe it's

418
00:19:47,327 --> 00:19:49,927
Speaker 3: because I've got brothers, and that's just like I really

419
00:19:49,967 --> 00:19:52,447
Speaker 3: love the relate. I think that different people bring out

420
00:19:52,447 --> 00:19:55,727
Speaker 3: different things in you. So having mates that are talking

421
00:19:55,767 --> 00:19:58,247
Speaker 3: about different things or having different life experiences, I just

422
00:19:58,527 --> 00:19:58,767
Speaker 3: like that.

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Speaker 1: I always find there's a window in which that's either

424
00:20:00,887 --> 00:20:03,287
Speaker 1: going to happen or isn't. And if you get past that,

425
00:20:03,567 --> 00:20:05,327
Speaker 1: then you're done, you know what I mean. So like

426
00:20:05,687 --> 00:20:08,287
Speaker 1: when I think about my same as you, my twenties

427
00:20:08,327 --> 00:20:10,807
Speaker 1: and early thirties, I had lots of guy friends and

428
00:20:10,847 --> 00:20:13,207
Speaker 1: some of them that might be a weird period in

429
00:20:13,247 --> 00:20:16,047
Speaker 1: our relationship where maybe or is that gonna happen? Isn't

430
00:20:16,087 --> 00:20:17,687
Speaker 1: that gonna happen? And as long as it doesn't happen,

431
00:20:17,727 --> 00:20:19,607
Speaker 1: you finally get past it and you're friends.

432
00:20:19,407 --> 00:20:20,007
Speaker 2: You know what I mean.

433
00:20:20,047 --> 00:20:22,487
Speaker 3: But then something happens. And I have noticed this in

434
00:20:22,527 --> 00:20:26,567
Speaker 3: the last year, where pregnancy, having a baby, having the

435
00:20:26,607 --> 00:20:31,927
Speaker 3: newborn is the most gendered. I have never felt more

436
00:20:31,967 --> 00:20:34,327
Speaker 3: of a solidarity with other women, and I have never

437
00:20:34,407 --> 00:20:35,607
Speaker 3: needed other women more.

438
00:20:35,647 --> 00:20:37,887
Speaker 1: But also, to be honest, you get pushed into that.

439
00:20:37,967 --> 00:20:39,407
Speaker 2: Yeah, you do, whether or not.

440
00:20:39,527 --> 00:20:41,727
Speaker 1: It's like all of a sudden, it's like here you

441
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,247
Speaker 1: are mums and bubs, here you are like hanging out

442
00:20:44,247 --> 00:20:46,127
Speaker 1: with you in it, like you kind of get shoved

443
00:20:46,167 --> 00:20:46,407
Speaker 1: into it.

444
00:20:46,407 --> 00:20:48,887
Speaker 2: A sort of a distance between you and your guy friends.

445
00:20:48,967 --> 00:20:50,807
Speaker 3: I mean, I feel like I've got a distance between

446
00:20:50,847 --> 00:20:53,407
Speaker 3: me and all my friends because I just don't have

447
00:20:53,527 --> 00:20:56,007
Speaker 3: the same amount of time that I used to. I

448
00:20:56,007 --> 00:20:59,487
Speaker 3: think it's difficult when you're in the stage where you've

449
00:20:59,527 --> 00:21:02,207
Speaker 3: got a baby and you can't communicate. I feel this

450
00:21:02,247 --> 00:21:04,047
Speaker 3: about all my friends had babies before me, and I

451
00:21:04,087 --> 00:21:05,287
Speaker 3: just didn't fucking get it.

452
00:21:05,327 --> 00:21:07,247
Speaker 2: I didn't get what time was.

453
00:21:07,367 --> 00:21:10,487
Speaker 3: I didn't understand where you're energy is and how it's

454
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:12,927
Speaker 3: just baby and work. And so I think that that's

455
00:21:12,967 --> 00:21:15,647
Speaker 3: difficult on all of them. But I love like I

456
00:21:15,687 --> 00:21:17,567
Speaker 3: will call them once a week or whatever and just

457
00:21:17,607 --> 00:21:19,647
Speaker 3: have really really long phone calls where I just feel

458
00:21:19,647 --> 00:21:21,927
Speaker 3: like we talk maybe about different stuff than I talked.

459
00:21:21,727 --> 00:21:23,127
Speaker 1: About female friends.

460
00:21:23,207 --> 00:21:28,247
Speaker 2: He always having brothers. Having an older brother really broke

461
00:21:28,367 --> 00:21:33,767
Speaker 2: my radar for male friends because he was seven years

462
00:21:33,767 --> 00:21:36,527
Speaker 2: older than me, and I liked nothing more than hanging

463
00:21:36,567 --> 00:21:38,607
Speaker 2: out with him and his mates. He had a really

464
00:21:38,647 --> 00:21:41,487
Speaker 2: tight group of friends, and I adored them all, and

465
00:21:41,687 --> 00:21:44,207
Speaker 2: of course I went from being, you know, a little

466
00:21:44,287 --> 00:21:47,727
Speaker 2: kid to being a young woman. But I was always

467
00:21:47,807 --> 00:21:51,407
Speaker 2: completely off limits to them because I was seven years

468
00:21:51,447 --> 00:21:55,007
Speaker 2: younger and also his sister, and so I grew up

469
00:21:55,087 --> 00:21:57,647
Speaker 2: believing that all guys just wanted to be my friend,

470
00:21:58,687 --> 00:22:02,247
Speaker 2: and so I would always get really confused. I would

471
00:22:02,287 --> 00:22:05,487
Speaker 2: be very naive that guys just only wanted to be

472
00:22:05,567 --> 00:22:07,647
Speaker 2: my friend, and I'm like, oh no, he just wants

473
00:22:07,687 --> 00:22:08,887
Speaker 2: to be a friend. And I would get in these

474
00:22:08,887 --> 00:22:12,407
Speaker 2: situations where I also wanted to be their friend, but

475
00:22:12,487 --> 00:22:14,647
Speaker 2: then they thought that we were on the way down

476
00:22:14,687 --> 00:22:17,087
Speaker 2: a different road, and then it would be like oh no.

477
00:22:17,647 --> 00:22:19,727
Speaker 2: And then you know, when you're quite young and you're like, oh,

478
00:22:19,767 --> 00:22:21,967
Speaker 2: if someone likes me, I better like them back. Because

479
00:22:22,167 --> 00:22:24,367
Speaker 2: I sort of didn't realize that I had agency. It

480
00:22:24,407 --> 00:22:26,927
Speaker 2: was like, oh, okay, I better be with them if

481
00:22:26,967 --> 00:22:29,367
Speaker 2: they want to be with me. But I read another

482
00:22:29,607 --> 00:22:33,927
Speaker 2: story a substack newsletter written by Kate Lindsay, and she

483
00:22:34,047 --> 00:22:37,287
Speaker 2: explained the concept of a side friend, and I guess,

484
00:22:37,287 --> 00:22:39,407
Speaker 2: if you know, to use a pop culture example, it

485
00:22:39,407 --> 00:22:43,807
Speaker 2: would be Gretchen Wieners from Mean Girls, and Kate Lindsay writes,

486
00:22:43,847 --> 00:22:45,767
Speaker 2: when you feel like a side friend, you feel like

487
00:22:45,807 --> 00:22:48,527
Speaker 2: an afterthought. You can tell you're not someone's first choice

488
00:22:48,527 --> 00:22:50,767
Speaker 2: for the brunch invite or movie ticket. You're always the

489
00:22:50,807 --> 00:22:53,567
Speaker 2: one texting first plans just seem to happen to the

490
00:22:53,607 --> 00:22:56,047
Speaker 2: other people in the friend group while you're constantly trying

491
00:22:56,087 --> 00:22:58,567
Speaker 2: to make sure they remember to include you. But a

492
00:22:58,647 --> 00:23:01,847
Speaker 2: side friend shouldn't be an inevitable part of every friendship circle.

493
00:23:02,087 --> 00:23:03,647
Speaker 2: You don't have to accept it. If you feel like

494
00:23:03,687 --> 00:23:08,487
Speaker 2: a side friend, it means your friends are treating you poorly. Jesse,

495
00:23:08,527 --> 00:23:09,807
Speaker 2: if you ever been aside friend.

496
00:23:10,287 --> 00:23:13,927
Speaker 3: I think I have, and nothing has made me happier

497
00:23:13,967 --> 00:23:16,327
Speaker 3: than leaving those friendships behind, literally just pulling the pin.

498
00:23:16,807 --> 00:23:18,927
Speaker 3: So I think probably after school, when you've got that

499
00:23:19,007 --> 00:23:23,927
Speaker 3: awkward transition, it can really hurt your self esteem. And

500
00:23:24,807 --> 00:23:27,047
Speaker 3: I reckon that if you're in a position where you

501
00:23:27,087 --> 00:23:30,887
Speaker 3: feel like the side friend, then I would What's the

502
00:23:30,927 --> 00:23:32,647
Speaker 3: thing I say about freeing your future? You need to

503
00:23:32,687 --> 00:23:36,687
Speaker 3: free your future. You need to pull the pin on that.

504
00:23:37,207 --> 00:23:41,967
Speaker 3: I say yes, And I reckon, you've got to be

505
00:23:42,007 --> 00:23:43,687
Speaker 3: really brave. I was at this. I did this book

506
00:23:43,687 --> 00:23:46,527
Speaker 3: club event recently. It was so inspiring. It was a

507
00:23:46,527 --> 00:23:49,327
Speaker 3: bunch of women and I thought, more of this where

508
00:23:49,407 --> 00:23:52,567
Speaker 3: they just love books, but they go every Wednesday night

509
00:23:52,767 --> 00:23:53,327
Speaker 3: or whatever.

510
00:23:53,527 --> 00:23:57,327
Speaker 2: You make this sound like an original idea club it's

511
00:23:57,367 --> 00:23:58,087
Speaker 2: called the book club.

512
00:23:58,327 --> 00:24:01,567
Speaker 3: Yeah, I thought, I have mates who are in you know,

513
00:24:01,647 --> 00:24:03,527
Speaker 3: live all over the world and are feeling really lonely,

514
00:24:03,927 --> 00:24:06,487
Speaker 3: and the idea of doing that would horrify them, that

515
00:24:06,527 --> 00:24:07,127
Speaker 3: would make.

516
00:24:07,007 --> 00:24:09,007
Speaker 2: Them so going to a book club.

517
00:24:09,247 --> 00:24:10,887
Speaker 3: It's a really brave thing to put yourself out there.

518
00:24:11,127 --> 00:24:13,367
Speaker 2: I mean, people don't know. I don't know. I've never

519
00:24:13,407 --> 00:24:15,287
Speaker 2: been invited to join a book club. Please out louds

520
00:24:15,287 --> 00:24:17,807
Speaker 2: don't join the book club. I appreciate it. I mean

521
00:24:17,807 --> 00:24:19,567
Speaker 2: I've joined one. I have Birds of a Feather, the

522
00:24:19,727 --> 00:24:22,247
Speaker 2: online one. No one's ever gone happy these people. I

523
00:24:22,247 --> 00:24:23,887
Speaker 2: don't think that there was anyone who was like friends

524
00:24:23,887 --> 00:24:25,367
Speaker 2: with another person. It was just a whole lot of

525
00:24:25,367 --> 00:24:28,607
Speaker 2: solo people who come from completely different walks of life,

526
00:24:28,647 --> 00:24:31,207
Speaker 2: who were the most interesting people ever that just show

527
00:24:31,287 --> 00:24:33,527
Speaker 2: up on a Wednesday. And I just saw those like

528
00:24:33,727 --> 00:24:36,207
Speaker 2: connections organically grow. It someone like joining a netbul team

529
00:24:36,247 --> 00:24:38,447
Speaker 2: or whatever. And it's horrifying, like the idea of it.

530
00:24:38,487 --> 00:24:40,167
Speaker 2: You just like, I don't want to put myself out there,

531
00:24:40,567 --> 00:24:43,327
Speaker 2: but seeing it, I just thought, there are lots of

532
00:24:43,367 --> 00:24:45,007
Speaker 2: friends just waiting to be made.

533
00:24:45,207 --> 00:24:47,247
Speaker 3: But then if you're stuck in a size such a thing.

534
00:24:47,167 --> 00:24:49,567
Speaker 2: As a stranger Jesse, there's just a friend you haven't made.

535
00:24:50,367 --> 00:24:53,407
Speaker 1: Trinky is that when you Because I was thinking about this,

536
00:24:53,487 --> 00:24:56,447
Speaker 1: and I was thinking about when I moved down the

537
00:24:56,487 --> 00:24:59,647
Speaker 1: coast and have had to make a new social circle.

538
00:25:00,167 --> 00:25:02,647
Speaker 1: And the thing is is everyone already has their friends, right,

539
00:25:02,687 --> 00:25:06,727
Speaker 1: so there aren't very many openings for like a full

540
00:25:06,727 --> 00:25:09,687
Speaker 1: time friend, yeah, because they've already got the you want

541
00:25:09,727 --> 00:25:14,807
Speaker 1: some weight list. So I'm definitely on some reservation lists.

542
00:25:15,447 --> 00:25:18,087
Speaker 1: And it's interesting because you kind of go, oh, well,

543
00:25:18,167 --> 00:25:21,007
Speaker 1: I I could be invited to that lunch or be

544
00:25:21,047 --> 00:25:23,047
Speaker 1: in that group, but I'm probably not.

545
00:25:22,927 --> 00:25:24,607
Speaker 2: Got like you're lose sleep over it.

546
00:25:24,887 --> 00:25:27,647
Speaker 1: I don't lose sleep over it because and this sounds

547
00:25:27,767 --> 00:25:36,207
Speaker 1: very arrogant, like I'm busy. However, having said that, and

548
00:25:36,287 --> 00:25:38,367
Speaker 1: I do have good friends down there too, like I

549
00:25:38,407 --> 00:25:42,607
Speaker 1: definitely do. But it's interesting. Really good friendships don't happen instantly,

550
00:25:42,967 --> 00:25:45,527
Speaker 1: like you can have rapport with people and it's great,

551
00:25:45,727 --> 00:25:47,887
Speaker 1: but as I say, everybody is busy and they've all

552
00:25:47,887 --> 00:25:50,047
Speaker 1: got their schedules, so that you're kind of like trying

553
00:25:50,047 --> 00:25:52,727
Speaker 1: to worm into other people's schedules and you're a side

554
00:25:52,767 --> 00:25:55,087
Speaker 1: friend while you're doing that. But you might get promoted

555
00:25:55,487 --> 00:25:57,327
Speaker 1: to Maine Friendly.

556
00:25:57,607 --> 00:25:59,887
Speaker 2: If I guess.

557
00:26:00,127 --> 00:26:02,527
Speaker 1: Yeah. I think it's really it's hard making friends as

558
00:26:02,527 --> 00:26:06,167
Speaker 1: an adult. It's hard making friends when everybody's already got

559
00:26:06,247 --> 00:26:09,047
Speaker 1: their groups. It's like it is hard. It's an awkward

560
00:26:09,527 --> 00:26:10,247
Speaker 1: out Louders.

561
00:26:10,607 --> 00:26:13,847
Speaker 2: We've just showcased a number of different friendship topics, and

562
00:26:13,887 --> 00:26:17,327
Speaker 2: next week on No Filter, keep your ears open for

563
00:26:17,367 --> 00:26:20,927
Speaker 2: a special episode about a type of best friend that

564
00:26:21,047 --> 00:26:24,247
Speaker 2: transcends the best friend category. It's about significant other friends,

565
00:26:24,247 --> 00:26:26,767
Speaker 2: and it's with this author who's posed the question, what

566
00:26:26,807 --> 00:26:30,207
Speaker 2: if we organize our lives around a particular friendship rather

567
00:26:30,287 --> 00:26:33,207
Speaker 2: than having a romantic partner at the top of our leaderboard.

568
00:26:33,407 --> 00:26:36,007
Speaker 2: We'll probably talk more about that next week, but tell

569
00:26:36,087 --> 00:26:39,367
Speaker 2: us in the out Louders Facebook group or on Instagram

570
00:26:39,487 --> 00:26:42,607
Speaker 2: or anywhere you like your stories of friendship.

571
00:26:42,847 --> 00:26:44,567
Speaker 3: I was going to say, actually, the people I know

572
00:26:44,807 --> 00:26:49,327
Speaker 3: who have the best opposite sex relationships are women in

573
00:26:49,367 --> 00:26:53,007
Speaker 3: their forties, fifties, sixties who never had kids. They all

574
00:26:53,007 --> 00:26:54,727
Speaker 3: had lots of opposite sex.

575
00:26:54,807 --> 00:26:56,967
Speaker 2: Yeah, hip, you're very wrong.

576
00:26:57,247 --> 00:27:00,047
Speaker 1: It's made me sound for my man friends. That conversation.

577
00:27:09,527 --> 00:27:10,727
Speaker 2: Lo the hell out.

578
00:27:13,687 --> 00:27:15,887
Speaker 3: It's Friday, so we want to help set up your

579
00:27:15,887 --> 00:27:18,327
Speaker 3: weekend with our very best recommendations.

580
00:27:18,367 --> 00:27:21,927
Speaker 2: Maya please go first. I'm down a bridgeton rabbit Hole

581
00:27:22,127 --> 00:27:26,527
Speaker 2: and it's the break between the first part of season

582
00:27:27,127 --> 00:27:29,327
Speaker 2: three and the second. I don't know why there's like

583
00:27:29,367 --> 00:27:31,687
Speaker 2: a four week gap I think the Crown did this

584
00:27:31,687 --> 00:27:32,967
Speaker 2: this what did I don't know.

585
00:27:32,887 --> 00:27:35,367
Speaker 1: Why they do this to make you excited, to make

586
00:27:35,407 --> 00:27:35,847
Speaker 1: you with it.

587
00:27:36,127 --> 00:27:38,087
Speaker 2: My theory is that they do it so that you

588
00:27:38,127 --> 00:27:40,127
Speaker 2: can't just take a one month free trial, because it

589
00:27:40,167 --> 00:27:41,087
Speaker 2: goes across two months.

590
00:27:41,087 --> 00:27:45,967
Speaker 1: I don't know my own business brain thing to say, because.

591
00:27:45,687 --> 00:27:50,487
Speaker 2: My appetite for Bridgitton needs to be fed. I've found

592
00:27:50,527 --> 00:27:54,007
Speaker 2: on YouTube a channel called Shondaland, which is the name

593
00:27:54,087 --> 00:27:56,367
Speaker 2: of the production company, of course by Shonda Rhimes, who

594
00:27:56,487 --> 00:28:00,487
Speaker 2: is the icon of television, who's the creative Gray's Anatomy

595
00:28:00,607 --> 00:28:03,767
Speaker 2: and so many other things Scandal, and she is now

596
00:28:03,807 --> 00:28:06,767
Speaker 2: with Netflix and Bridgitton was her first show for Netflix.

597
00:28:07,207 --> 00:28:11,127
Speaker 2: But under the Shondaland channel on YouTube, they have all

598
00:28:11,167 --> 00:28:13,527
Speaker 2: of these behind the scenes videos. They're so good. So

599
00:28:13,567 --> 00:28:16,807
Speaker 2: there's like a day in the life of the p

600
00:28:17,047 --> 00:28:20,327
Speaker 2: eight all the cast, A day in the life you're

601
00:28:20,367 --> 00:28:22,967
Speaker 2: the costume supervisor, A day in the life of the

602
00:28:23,007 --> 00:28:24,047
Speaker 2: assistant director.

603
00:28:24,207 --> 00:28:26,967
Speaker 4: My name's Wayne Fitzimmons, and I'm part of the core

604
00:28:27,087 --> 00:28:31,447
Speaker 4: crowd hair and makeup team. Just at are full on morning,

605
00:28:31,647 --> 00:28:35,767
Speaker 4: getting over two hundred essays ready for today. Speed and

606
00:28:35,847 --> 00:28:39,447
Speaker 4: time is definitely a thing that you've got to constantly

607
00:28:39,487 --> 00:28:41,807
Speaker 4: have in the back of your head and checking your watch.

608
00:28:41,927 --> 00:28:44,327
Speaker 4: There's a certain amount of time per person. I think

609
00:28:44,327 --> 00:28:46,727
Speaker 4: on this it's an hour and a half that we

610
00:28:46,847 --> 00:28:49,487
Speaker 4: have to complete the full look. So that's from putting

611
00:28:49,567 --> 00:28:53,007
Speaker 4: rollers in their hair, prepping the hair for the style,

612
00:28:53,367 --> 00:28:56,247
Speaker 4: having the hair pieces that we incorporate into the style,

613
00:28:56,527 --> 00:28:59,367
Speaker 4: doing the full makeup, and then dressing the hair out

614
00:28:59,807 --> 00:29:02,727
Speaker 4: on top and then they go to costume after we've

615
00:29:02,727 --> 00:29:03,367
Speaker 4: finished with them.

616
00:29:04,127 --> 00:29:07,167
Speaker 2: Then there's like interviews with Julia Quinn who's the author

617
00:29:07,207 --> 00:29:10,447
Speaker 2: of the original books, and there's so much good content

618
00:29:10,567 --> 00:29:13,967
Speaker 2: on Shondaland if you're interested in Bridgington, we will put

619
00:29:14,007 --> 00:29:16,887
Speaker 2: a link in the newsletter that we send out every

620
00:29:16,927 --> 00:29:17,407
Speaker 2: week to that.

621
00:29:17,687 --> 00:29:20,647
Speaker 3: Holly, what's your recommendation? So mine is a bit dark

622
00:29:20,647 --> 00:29:21,287
Speaker 3: for Friday.

623
00:29:21,327 --> 00:29:24,407
Speaker 1: But the thing I watched this week that just blew

624
00:29:24,447 --> 00:29:28,407
Speaker 1: me away, right, and that was the interview with Ariel Bombara.

625
00:29:28,607 --> 00:29:30,847
Speaker 1: Now we spoke a little bit about this story on

626
00:29:30,927 --> 00:29:33,327
Speaker 1: Monday show. You did Jesse, you were talking about violence

627
00:29:33,327 --> 00:29:36,687
Speaker 1: skates women. She's the daughter of the West Australian man

628
00:29:37,007 --> 00:29:40,927
Speaker 1: Mark Bombara, who murdered two women last week when he

629
00:29:41,007 --> 00:29:44,367
Speaker 1: was looking for his estranged wife. So this man went

630
00:29:44,447 --> 00:29:48,727
Speaker 1: looking for his wife and Ariel at his wife's best

631
00:29:48,727 --> 00:29:51,967
Speaker 1: friend's house, and when they weren't there, he murdered his

632
00:29:51,967 --> 00:29:56,207
Speaker 1: wife's best friend, Jennifer Patelchek and her eighteen year old daughter, Gretel.

633
00:29:56,247 --> 00:30:00,527
Speaker 1: It is a horrifying story, and this week his daughter

634
00:30:00,727 --> 00:30:03,167
Speaker 1: Ariel sat down and gave an interview to the ABC.

635
00:30:03,327 --> 00:30:05,367
Speaker 1: She basically was reading out a statement. It wasn't so

636
00:30:05,447 --> 00:30:07,047
Speaker 1: much in a back and forth interview. It was a

637
00:30:07,087 --> 00:30:10,847
Speaker 1: statement about how she he was feeling just days after

638
00:30:10,887 --> 00:30:14,567
Speaker 1: this had happened, and it is one of the most

639
00:30:15,007 --> 00:30:20,007
Speaker 1: devastating but very important documents I've ever seen that explains

640
00:30:20,407 --> 00:30:23,167
Speaker 1: what women are going through at the moment. She's got

641
00:30:23,167 --> 00:30:26,447
Speaker 1: this clear eyed fury about her. She's very calm, but

642
00:30:26,647 --> 00:30:29,927
Speaker 1: absolutely broken, as you can tell where she talks about

643
00:30:30,007 --> 00:30:34,087
Speaker 1: how she and her mother had told the police many

644
00:30:34,167 --> 00:30:37,047
Speaker 1: times that her father was a dangerous man, that he

645
00:30:37,087 --> 00:30:39,607
Speaker 1: had all these weapons, that there was one particular gun

646
00:30:39,647 --> 00:30:41,927
Speaker 1: that was missing from their house and couldn't be explained

647
00:30:41,927 --> 00:30:43,327
Speaker 1: where it was, and it did turn out that that

648
00:30:43,447 --> 00:30:46,767
Speaker 1: was the gun that he used to murder Jennifer and Gretel.

649
00:30:47,127 --> 00:30:49,367
Speaker 1: They talked about how they had got the police to

650
00:30:49,607 --> 00:30:51,287
Speaker 1: escort them to go to the house for the last

651
00:30:51,287 --> 00:30:53,607
Speaker 1: time before they could get out, and she just said

652
00:30:53,807 --> 00:30:56,607
Speaker 1: how the police just kept telling her there is nothing

653
00:30:56,647 --> 00:30:58,327
Speaker 1: we can do, There is nothing we can do. There's

654
00:30:58,367 --> 00:31:00,807
Speaker 1: nothing we can do. She said. Five times different male

655
00:31:00,807 --> 00:31:03,527
Speaker 1: police officers dismissed her in her mother's fears.

656
00:31:03,647 --> 00:31:05,887
Speaker 5: On April second, my mother and I were given a

657
00:31:05,927 --> 00:31:09,687
Speaker 5: police escort to our home to collect some belongings. This

658
00:31:09,847 --> 00:31:13,887
Speaker 5: was the third occasion we warned police about my father's guns.

659
00:31:14,887 --> 00:31:18,367
Speaker 5: An officer said, oh, don't worry, we know all about

660
00:31:18,407 --> 00:31:21,487
Speaker 5: the guns, and when he called for backup, he warned

661
00:31:21,487 --> 00:31:24,887
Speaker 5: his fellow officers to wear bulletproof vests. We were ignored

662
00:31:24,927 --> 00:31:29,047
Speaker 5: by five different male officers across three occasions of reporting.

663
00:31:30,287 --> 00:31:33,607
Speaker 5: By that point, we felt completely helpless and I had

664
00:31:33,607 --> 00:31:35,487
Speaker 5: to focus on getting mum to safety.

665
00:31:35,927 --> 00:31:38,687
Speaker 1: Just given the news cycle we've had recently, and I

666
00:31:38,767 --> 00:31:40,687
Speaker 1: know how women are feeling, and I don't want to

667
00:31:40,727 --> 00:31:43,607
Speaker 1: tell stories that make people feel more unsafe, but I

668
00:31:43,647 --> 00:31:47,927
Speaker 1: think it's important to validate these things are real. They're

669
00:31:47,967 --> 00:31:51,447
Speaker 1: not imagined. Women aren't imagining, they're often their fear and

670
00:31:51,487 --> 00:31:55,247
Speaker 1: their safety are not taken seriously that the moments when

671
00:31:55,247 --> 00:31:57,887
Speaker 1: they're trying to leave are not the most dangerous. Ariel,

672
00:31:57,887 --> 00:32:01,407
Speaker 1: obviously is a devastated person who father is dead, her

673
00:32:01,407 --> 00:32:04,247
Speaker 1: mother's best friend is dead, an eighteen year old girl

674
00:32:04,327 --> 00:32:05,807
Speaker 1: is dead, and she and her mother have to pick

675
00:32:05,847 --> 00:32:08,727
Speaker 1: up the pieces of their life. And from what Ariel

676
00:32:08,767 --> 00:32:12,287
Speaker 1: says in that interview, it was preventable. It was preventable.

677
00:32:12,327 --> 00:32:14,247
Speaker 1: And I just the reason it's my recommendation because I

678
00:32:14,287 --> 00:32:17,207
Speaker 1: know it's a weird recommendation, but go and watch her

679
00:32:17,527 --> 00:32:20,727
Speaker 1: and share it with anyone you know who is confused

680
00:32:20,807 --> 00:32:23,927
Speaker 1: about this conversation about male violence, because people.

681
00:32:23,647 --> 00:32:25,487
Speaker 3: Like her we have to listen to because, as you say,

682
00:32:25,527 --> 00:32:28,847
Speaker 3: there are all of these steps that if one person

683
00:32:28,847 --> 00:32:31,087
Speaker 3: had behaved differently, we might not have had this outcome.

684
00:32:31,127 --> 00:32:33,007
Speaker 3: And that's what's so gob smacking about it.

685
00:32:33,047 --> 00:32:34,447
Speaker 1: We'll put a link in the show notes.

686
00:32:35,447 --> 00:32:38,327
Speaker 3: I have two quick recommendations. The first is but Are

687
00:32:38,407 --> 00:32:40,927
Speaker 3: You Happy is Back? Which is mum maya podcast that

688
00:32:41,207 --> 00:32:44,207
Speaker 3: is hosted by my twin sister, Clare Stevens. It is

689
00:32:44,247 --> 00:32:46,367
Speaker 3: one of my favorite podcasts. I know it's a lot

690
00:32:46,367 --> 00:32:50,127
Speaker 3: about Louder's favorite podcasts too. It has a bunch of

691
00:32:50,527 --> 00:32:53,927
Speaker 3: new guests, So it's got Laura Brn, Brooke Blurton, Rob

692
00:32:54,007 --> 00:32:59,567
Speaker 3: mills Can. On yesterday's episode was Josh Thomas and he

693
00:32:59,607 --> 00:33:02,327
Speaker 3: talked about being diagnosed with autism as an adult.

694
00:33:02,567 --> 00:33:05,487
Speaker 2: He's just returned to Australia. Yeah, and in Hollywood.

695
00:33:05,567 --> 00:33:09,887
Speaker 3: He speaks so candidly about how whole Wood is a

696
00:33:09,927 --> 00:33:13,967
Speaker 3: recipe for sadness. What has it been like when you

697
00:33:14,007 --> 00:33:17,887
Speaker 3: meet people who have massive profiles and have had the

698
00:33:17,887 --> 00:33:20,167
Speaker 3: big break? What does it feel like to meet your

699
00:33:20,167 --> 00:33:21,167
Speaker 3: idols in that way?

700
00:33:21,247 --> 00:33:22,007
Speaker 1: I were happier.

701
00:33:22,407 --> 00:33:28,007
Speaker 2: They're not, no, no, no no. Are they different to

702
00:33:28,047 --> 00:33:30,447
Speaker 2: how you'd expect? Are they confident?

703
00:33:30,607 --> 00:33:33,567
Speaker 3: Do they come across the way you'd think given public profiles.

704
00:33:34,007 --> 00:33:36,127
Speaker 1: They don't seem like they're having an easier time making

705
00:33:36,247 --> 00:33:39,207
Speaker 1: friends Because.

706
00:33:38,967 --> 00:33:41,207
Speaker 2: He went over there. He had that show here that

707
00:33:41,327 --> 00:33:45,767
Speaker 2: was amazing. He got his own show, had two seasons

708
00:33:45,807 --> 00:33:48,087
Speaker 2: of it, and he was diagnosed with autism. And I

709
00:33:48,167 --> 00:33:49,727
Speaker 2: think he broke up with your boyfriend and then he

710
00:33:50,047 --> 00:33:52,047
Speaker 2: came back here and I'm so interested in that.

711
00:33:52,167 --> 00:33:54,967
Speaker 3: Oh, Claire said it was the most interesting conversation. You

712
00:33:55,007 --> 00:33:57,727
Speaker 3: must listen to it. Also, I'm going by next week,

713
00:33:57,767 --> 00:34:00,567
Speaker 3: so I thought i'd throw in an additional recommendation, which

714
00:34:00,687 --> 00:34:03,727
Speaker 3: is season four of Cereal. Are you guys listening to this?

715
00:34:03,887 --> 00:34:06,687
Speaker 1: I've not not yet for a really long.

716
00:34:06,527 --> 00:34:09,407
Speaker 3: Time, you know, Adnan sayed, like, the first episod out

717
00:34:09,407 --> 00:34:12,527
Speaker 3: of Cereal is nearly ten years ten years ago that

718
00:34:12,607 --> 00:34:15,007
Speaker 3: came out so upset because that was the podcast that

719
00:34:15,127 --> 00:34:16,647
Speaker 3: got people into podcasts.

720
00:34:16,727 --> 00:34:17,167
Speaker 2: Yeah.

721
00:34:17,207 --> 00:34:20,967
Speaker 3: So Sarah Kanigg's voice, Yes, and.

722
00:34:20,887 --> 00:34:23,767
Speaker 2: It's like the rhythm of that Shark, which so many

723
00:34:23,767 --> 00:34:27,327
Speaker 2: people tried to mimic, but is really unique to her.

724
00:34:27,767 --> 00:34:30,127
Speaker 2: She's brilliant. You know that. I'm the New York Times

725
00:34:30,167 --> 00:34:30,807
Speaker 2: borught Cereal.

726
00:34:31,127 --> 00:34:34,127
Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm hearing ads in now and I'm like, yeah,

727
00:34:34,167 --> 00:34:38,087
Speaker 3: So this one is about Guantanamo, which I knew very

728
00:34:38,127 --> 00:34:41,607
Speaker 3: little about. It is a series they've been working on

729
00:34:41,647 --> 00:34:44,367
Speaker 3: for years and years. It is looking at the key

730
00:34:44,447 --> 00:34:46,887
Speaker 3: moments of that prison's evolution. That is the prison that

731
00:34:46,927 --> 00:34:50,327
Speaker 3: was set up after September eleven as a response to terrorism.

732
00:34:50,407 --> 00:34:53,407
Speaker 6: Right after September eleventh, we created a brand new criminal

733
00:34:53,487 --> 00:34:57,207
Speaker 6: justice system at Guantanamo Bay, a prison and a court

734
00:34:57,407 --> 00:35:00,247
Speaker 6: to deal with people we suspected of being terrorists. To

735
00:35:00,247 --> 00:35:02,767
Speaker 6: do what we wanted to do at Guantanamo, we pushed

736
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:05,807
Speaker 6: aside the old rules for detaining prisoners of war, so

737
00:35:05,847 --> 00:35:08,567
Speaker 6: we can interrogate people how we wanted and hold them

738
00:35:08,727 --> 00:35:12,807
Speaker 6: indefinitely without charging them with a crime. Maybe you have

739
00:35:12,807 --> 00:35:15,007
Speaker 6: an idea of what it's like to work at Guantanamo Bay,

740
00:35:15,727 --> 00:35:16,847
Speaker 6: put that aside for a second.

741
00:35:17,207 --> 00:35:19,247
Speaker 1: You know, you're on forty two square miles.

742
00:35:19,287 --> 00:35:22,247
Speaker 2: You've got like five great beaches. I praated my ass

743
00:35:22,247 --> 00:35:25,607
Speaker 2: off and gives everyone was getting drunk and getting laid And.

744
00:35:25,567 --> 00:35:29,447
Speaker 1: Then I love Gemo like it's it's La la Land.

745
00:35:30,127 --> 00:35:32,687
Speaker 1: We're like a Busyland employee.

746
00:35:33,167 --> 00:35:35,687
Speaker 3: I didn't realize that war, the US troops are not

747
00:35:35,727 --> 00:35:39,447
Speaker 3: there anymore. That prison is still functioning and has a

748
00:35:39,487 --> 00:35:43,287
Speaker 3: few dozen people in there who are, you know.

749
00:35:43,367 --> 00:35:44,687
Speaker 2: Alleged terrorists.

750
00:35:44,687 --> 00:35:48,607
Speaker 3: But what you find is the way in which putting

751
00:35:48,687 --> 00:35:53,407
Speaker 3: it in Cuba meant that they could skirt certain human rights,

752
00:35:53,447 --> 00:35:58,367
Speaker 3: international law things, and some pretty horrifying things have happened.

753
00:35:58,407 --> 00:36:01,287
Speaker 3: I just think it's like I have been watching a

754
00:36:01,287 --> 00:36:05,167
Speaker 3: few things that are re prosecuting the response after September eleven,

755
00:36:05,167 --> 00:36:08,047
Speaker 3: and it's just a really fascinating analysis of what was

756
00:36:08,087 --> 00:36:09,127
Speaker 3: done so Guantanamo.

757
00:36:09,327 --> 00:36:13,527
Speaker 2: That is season four of Cereal Do you want daily

758
00:36:13,607 --> 00:36:17,167
Speaker 2: outloud access, Why wouldn't you. We dropped episodes every Tuesday

759
00:36:17,247 --> 00:36:21,487
Speaker 2: and Thursday exclusively form of MEA. Subscribers follow the link

760
00:36:21,487 --> 00:36:23,167
Speaker 2: in the show notes to get us in your ears

761
00:36:23,207 --> 00:36:25,927
Speaker 2: five days a week and a huge thank you if

762
00:36:25,927 --> 00:36:38,807
Speaker 2: you're already a subscriber. It's time for best and Worst

763
00:36:38,927 --> 00:36:40,727
Speaker 2: of the week. And this is the part of the

764
00:36:40,767 --> 00:36:42,847
Speaker 2: show where we get to share a little more from

765
00:36:42,887 --> 00:36:46,567
Speaker 2: our personal lives. Holly, I will throw to you first,

766
00:36:46,727 --> 00:36:48,487
Speaker 2: what is your worst of the week?

767
00:36:49,087 --> 00:36:52,207
Speaker 1: All Right, on the weekend, I went and planted. And

768
00:36:52,247 --> 00:36:55,687
Speaker 1: I know what you're gonna say, Just bite your lips,

769
00:36:56,247 --> 00:36:59,927
Speaker 1: my friends. I went and planted new seedlings in one

770
00:36:59,967 --> 00:37:02,127
Speaker 1: of my veggy bets, right, and I put cabbage in

771
00:37:02,167 --> 00:37:04,527
Speaker 1: here and Asian greens in there. And then I went

772
00:37:04,647 --> 00:37:07,167
Speaker 1: back the next day and one of them was gone,

773
00:37:07,207 --> 00:37:09,767
Speaker 1: and I was like, that's weird. I'm sure I did that,

774
00:37:10,087 --> 00:37:12,407
Speaker 1: but maybe I'm just perry like you, I've forgotten what

775
00:37:12,527 --> 00:37:15,487
Speaker 1: I did. Like you, often plant things in your veggy

776
00:37:15,487 --> 00:37:16,967
Speaker 1: bed and forget what it is and then you have

777
00:37:17,007 --> 00:37:19,047
Speaker 1: to wait for it to come up. It's an exciting surprise.

778
00:37:19,927 --> 00:37:22,887
Speaker 1: So you know what I did that night on top

779
00:37:22,927 --> 00:37:25,087
Speaker 1: of it. Well you won't because they're seedlings and they're

780
00:37:25,087 --> 00:37:28,047
Speaker 1: like sticking out. So I actually took a picture of

781
00:37:28,047 --> 00:37:31,727
Speaker 1: this Chinese broccoli to like prove to myself that i'd.

782
00:37:31,567 --> 00:37:34,127
Speaker 2: Planted it, because you know, when you're taking a.

783
00:37:34,087 --> 00:37:37,527
Speaker 1: Turn it a bit weird. And the next day I went.

784
00:37:37,367 --> 00:37:39,767
Speaker 2: Out and it had gone. It's seniors gardening.

785
00:37:39,767 --> 00:37:41,007
Speaker 1: Really, there's a thief.

786
00:37:41,367 --> 00:37:41,887
Speaker 2: There's a thief.

787
00:37:42,287 --> 00:37:45,047
Speaker 1: There's a thief in my veggie bed dog. It's a

788
00:37:45,087 --> 00:37:46,767
Speaker 1: bloody rat. It's at least.

789
00:37:46,567 --> 00:37:49,527
Speaker 2: One, maybe more rats could be a possible, Well it

790
00:37:49,607 --> 00:37:50,527
Speaker 2: could be if I was.

791
00:37:50,487 --> 00:37:53,327
Speaker 1: Being optimistic, I could say it's a possum. But I

792
00:37:53,367 --> 00:37:55,567
Speaker 1: think that it's a rat. And the thing is is

793
00:37:55,607 --> 00:37:58,887
Speaker 1: that I've not Oh yeah, they like some veggies more

794
00:37:58,887 --> 00:38:01,327
Speaker 1: than others. So last year what I learned was they

795
00:38:01,447 --> 00:38:05,207
Speaker 1: like leafy greens, which is exactly plant things that they

796
00:38:05,207 --> 00:38:07,687
Speaker 1: don't like. Kale. Nobody likes kale, not even rats.

797
00:38:09,647 --> 00:38:12,847
Speaker 2: Plant things they don't like. But maybe they should make it.

798
00:38:12,927 --> 00:38:15,327
Speaker 1: I'm not having any luck with my veggies this year,

799
00:38:15,367 --> 00:38:17,527
Speaker 1: and I don't know if it's like and the thing

800
00:38:17,687 --> 00:38:19,847
Speaker 1: is about gardening gets in your head and you're like, clearly,

801
00:38:19,887 --> 00:38:22,927
Speaker 1: my usuals off. Clearly something's bad. The rats have come

802
00:38:22,967 --> 00:38:24,167
Speaker 1: for me, So.

803
00:38:24,367 --> 00:38:25,487
Speaker 3: You need a rat scarecrow.

804
00:38:25,567 --> 00:38:27,567
Speaker 1: This weekend, I'm going to have to try and wrap

805
00:38:27,607 --> 00:38:30,047
Speaker 1: proof my fricking veggie beds and it really annoys me.

806
00:38:30,167 --> 00:38:31,367
Speaker 1: And so that was my worst.

807
00:38:31,207 --> 00:38:32,967
Speaker 2: Chicken one exactly.

808
00:38:33,007 --> 00:38:35,007
Speaker 1: But the problem is once you put covers on, that

809
00:38:35,047 --> 00:38:37,167
Speaker 1: means every time you interact with your vegetables you have

810
00:38:37,207 --> 00:38:38,447
Speaker 1: to take covers off. And I'm lazy.

811
00:38:38,487 --> 00:38:41,607
Speaker 3: I'm lazy.

812
00:38:39,487 --> 00:38:46,167
Speaker 2: She's more interesting. Oh my god, couldn't be less evil,

813
00:38:46,327 --> 00:38:48,007
Speaker 2: less interesting? How many.

814
00:38:49,487 --> 00:38:49,967
Speaker 1: Gardening?

815
00:38:50,407 --> 00:38:51,887
Speaker 2: I love it?

816
00:38:51,927 --> 00:38:54,207
Speaker 1: Just not you, you know. I talked to Catherine Main

817
00:38:54,247 --> 00:38:56,367
Speaker 1: next week on the show about how my cool city

818
00:38:56,447 --> 00:39:00,087
Speaker 1: journalist friends take the piss out of me about gardening. Anyway,

819
00:39:00,287 --> 00:39:02,767
Speaker 1: my best of the week has been watching Alone Australia

820
00:39:02,887 --> 00:39:05,567
Speaker 1: Season two with my kids because it finished this week. Right,

821
00:39:06,087 --> 00:39:08,287
Speaker 1: there is nothing that brings me more happiness than watching

822
00:39:08,327 --> 00:39:10,727
Speaker 1: shows with my kids. Because as your kids get older,

823
00:39:10,887 --> 00:39:12,447
Speaker 1: it's hard to get them off their phones. It's hard

824
00:39:12,447 --> 00:39:14,007
Speaker 1: to get them to spend time with you. It's hard

825
00:39:14,047 --> 00:39:15,687
Speaker 1: to get you know, like all of that stuff. I'm

826
00:39:15,687 --> 00:39:18,967
Speaker 1: watching Shit's Creek with myself. Kid's so fun watching TV

827
00:39:19,007 --> 00:39:21,647
Speaker 1: with your kids. People argue about the everyone in our

828
00:39:21,647 --> 00:39:22,367
Speaker 1: family likes watch.

829
00:39:22,407 --> 00:39:24,687
Speaker 2: And you know what's good about watching alone Australia with

830
00:39:24,847 --> 00:39:27,447
Speaker 2: your kids or your parents is that there's no sex scenes,

831
00:39:27,647 --> 00:39:30,647
Speaker 2: I assume, because that's the worst. Like even in Ship's

832
00:39:30,687 --> 00:39:33,487
Speaker 2: Creek they'll be the occasional sex scene and we'll just

833
00:39:33,527 --> 00:39:35,527
Speaker 2: have to fast forward because everybody's so uncomfortable.

834
00:39:35,487 --> 00:39:37,967
Speaker 1: There's no sex scenes, but sometimes there is heavy content

835
00:39:38,087 --> 00:39:39,847
Speaker 1: because people are always going through mental breakdown.

836
00:39:41,047 --> 00:39:42,047
Speaker 2: Alone kill animals.

837
00:39:42,087 --> 00:39:44,127
Speaker 1: I hate that they kill animals, except to be honest,

838
00:39:44,127 --> 00:39:45,807
Speaker 1: no one's killed any animals this year because they're all

839
00:39:45,847 --> 00:39:46,607
Speaker 1: really shit at it.

840
00:39:46,687 --> 00:39:47,927
Speaker 2: Where are they in Tasmania again?

841
00:39:47,927 --> 00:39:50,567
Speaker 1: They're in New Zealand, which seems like a loophole really

842
00:39:50,607 --> 00:39:51,847
Speaker 1: for Australia.

843
00:39:52,007 --> 00:39:52,567
Speaker 6: Is it cold?

844
00:39:52,847 --> 00:39:56,727
Speaker 1: Freezing cold? There's like ice on the ground. They're catching fish.

845
00:39:57,087 --> 00:39:59,047
Speaker 1: I'm not going to give any spoilers away obviously people

846
00:39:59,047 --> 00:40:00,887
Speaker 1: who haven't watched it yet. But the thing that's fun

847
00:40:00,927 --> 00:40:01,287
Speaker 1: about it.

848
00:40:01,207 --> 00:40:03,687
Speaker 2: With your kids too, they're not sorry.

849
00:40:04,607 --> 00:40:10,247
Speaker 1: Going like would you eat that mouse? What would you

850
00:40:10,287 --> 00:40:12,447
Speaker 1: do then? And so Billy would very confidently be like,

851
00:40:12,487 --> 00:40:14,447
Speaker 1: well he should have built a better house. Matilda'll be like,

852
00:40:14,447 --> 00:40:16,567
Speaker 1: well she should have brought a better coat, and I

853
00:40:16,607 --> 00:40:19,207
Speaker 1: would have definitely in that mouse. It's just the most fun,

854
00:40:19,247 --> 00:40:25,247
Speaker 1: wholesome TV. I love. Hell No, they all have mental

855
00:40:25,247 --> 00:40:27,687
Speaker 1: breakdowns and you can see them crumbling. And the interesting thing,

856
00:40:27,687 --> 00:40:29,527
Speaker 1: and it tells you everything about people is you know

857
00:40:29,567 --> 00:40:31,607
Speaker 1: they're going to tap out when they start talking about

858
00:40:31,607 --> 00:40:33,407
Speaker 1: their family as soon as they sit there and they

859
00:40:33,447 --> 00:40:37,967
Speaker 1: start going, I really miss Bob. Bob, it's such a

860
00:40:38,047 --> 00:40:42,527
Speaker 1: nice person. I half raising my tits off in New

861
00:40:42,607 --> 00:40:44,327
Speaker 1: Zealand and I could be at home with Bob and

862
00:40:44,367 --> 00:40:46,007
Speaker 1: they're like, any minute now, it's going to push the

863
00:40:46,007 --> 00:40:49,567
Speaker 1: button and they go off home to bomb And how

864
00:40:49,607 --> 00:40:50,647
Speaker 1: fast I'd push the button.

865
00:40:50,727 --> 00:40:52,647
Speaker 2: When I used to watch Master Chef with my kids,

866
00:40:52,927 --> 00:40:54,567
Speaker 2: I would always just say if they got like a

867
00:40:54,607 --> 00:40:58,127
Speaker 2: mystery box or that challenge was unveiled, I'd just be

868
00:40:58,207 --> 00:41:01,727
Speaker 2: like I would just start crying and leave the panic.

869
00:41:01,927 --> 00:41:03,767
Speaker 2: The panic all the time me I was your West.

870
00:41:04,287 --> 00:41:08,207
Speaker 2: My worst of the week is trying to learn how

871
00:41:08,247 --> 00:41:12,287
Speaker 2: to parent and take care of a sick adult child.

872
00:41:12,887 --> 00:41:15,447
Speaker 2: So one of my children, who will remain nameless, who

873
00:41:15,447 --> 00:41:20,447
Speaker 2: lives in my house is unwell currently and so like

874
00:41:20,567 --> 00:41:24,567
Speaker 2: it'll be mom, can you make some chicken soup or

875
00:41:24,567 --> 00:41:26,687
Speaker 2: can you heat me up? Can you make me some tea?

876
00:41:26,727 --> 00:41:29,767
Speaker 2: And I'm like yep, yep, yep. And then it'll be mom,

877
00:41:29,927 --> 00:41:33,887
Speaker 2: can you bring me a glass of wine? And I'm like, look,

878
00:41:34,887 --> 00:41:37,607
Speaker 2: the buck stops there if you can get a glass

879
00:41:37,607 --> 00:41:41,487
Speaker 2: of wine. And then this child sent me a photo

880
00:41:41,567 --> 00:41:43,647
Speaker 2: of themselves drinking the wine and be like too late,

881
00:41:45,007 --> 00:41:50,207
Speaker 2: and I'm like, take your bloody vitamins you. My best

882
00:41:50,487 --> 00:41:54,527
Speaker 2: is also family related in the parents are on holidays.

883
00:41:54,807 --> 00:41:57,207
Speaker 2: Why is that my best? You may ask, Well, they

884
00:41:57,247 --> 00:42:00,167
Speaker 2: are doing the gray nomad thing and they're driving around

885
00:42:00,527 --> 00:42:04,087
Speaker 2: South Australia because my mother loves the bush. When I

886
00:42:04,167 --> 00:42:06,727
Speaker 2: was a child, they made us go around Australia for

887
00:42:06,767 --> 00:42:08,367
Speaker 2: six weeks. I was in the back of the car

888
00:42:08,767 --> 00:42:11,007
Speaker 2: or six weeks my life. But they love it. She

889
00:42:11,047 --> 00:42:13,727
Speaker 2: loves it. My dad like endures it. So they've been

890
00:42:13,847 --> 00:42:16,247
Speaker 2: like the more in the outback, it is the happiest

891
00:42:16,287 --> 00:42:19,087
Speaker 2: she is. So they are like on some rough roads,

892
00:42:19,327 --> 00:42:20,487
Speaker 2: middle of nowhere whatever.

893
00:42:20,807 --> 00:42:22,607
Speaker 3: This could be the next season of Alone, just your

894
00:42:22,607 --> 00:42:24,287
Speaker 3: parents on this tree, because.

895
00:42:24,127 --> 00:42:26,527
Speaker 2: Funny you should say that. So every few days I'll

896
00:42:26,527 --> 00:42:31,647
Speaker 2: get an update. Darling flat tire. We're on the road.

897
00:42:31,887 --> 00:42:34,687
Speaker 2: They'll send me a video and they'll be like, we

898
00:42:34,807 --> 00:42:36,807
Speaker 2: had no phone reception, and it'll be my mother in

899
00:42:36,807 --> 00:42:40,007
Speaker 2: an akoubr trying to change a tire with my dad filming,

900
00:42:40,647 --> 00:42:43,167
Speaker 2: and then the tire got shredded, and then they had

901
00:42:43,167 --> 00:42:45,767
Speaker 2: to wait for so a truck drove past, and then

902
00:42:45,767 --> 00:42:48,007
Speaker 2: they got to the town and then there was no

903
00:42:48,127 --> 00:42:51,167
Speaker 2: spare tires that they could get, so my dad had

904
00:42:51,207 --> 00:42:54,287
Speaker 2: to jump on someone's small plane and go to some

905
00:42:54,407 --> 00:42:56,887
Speaker 2: other place to get a tire and bring it back.

906
00:42:57,327 --> 00:42:59,927
Speaker 2: And then they got another flat tire, and it goes

907
00:42:59,927 --> 00:43:01,847
Speaker 2: on and on. This morning, I call my mom and

908
00:43:01,887 --> 00:43:06,007
Speaker 2: she's like, Darling. A pilot on the small plane texted

909
00:43:06,087 --> 00:43:09,887
Speaker 2: us yesterday to say he had COVID and now AD's coughing.

910
00:43:10,087 --> 00:43:17,447
Speaker 2: Oh no, by this afternoon, darling Dad. Never they are

911
00:43:17,527 --> 00:43:21,807
Speaker 2: in the back of wherever, alone in a little hot

912
00:43:21,847 --> 00:43:26,567
Speaker 2: cabin tent, I don't know, somewhere it's very cold. There's pictures.

913
00:43:26,607 --> 00:43:29,967
Speaker 2: They're both wearing masks in the It's very exciting for them.

914
00:43:30,007 --> 00:43:33,527
Speaker 2: It's very entertaining. It's very entertaining. It's providing our family

915
00:43:33,567 --> 00:43:35,647
Speaker 2: group chat with a lot of lolls, and I really

916
00:43:35,687 --> 00:43:36,367
Speaker 2: appreciate it.

917
00:43:37,247 --> 00:43:40,407
Speaker 3: That's my best one want to be there. My worst

918
00:43:40,927 --> 00:43:43,847
Speaker 3: is having to go high. And by that I mean

919
00:43:43,967 --> 00:43:47,527
Speaker 3: that sometimes the Internet is a cess pit. Sometimes, just

920
00:43:47,527 --> 00:43:50,807
Speaker 3: like broadly, the world is a cess pit. And I

921
00:43:50,847 --> 00:43:53,647
Speaker 3: think that deep down, I'm actually like a really petty person.

922
00:43:53,647 --> 00:43:57,367
Speaker 3: That's my instincts is just to like your brand. It's yeah,

923
00:43:57,447 --> 00:43:59,327
Speaker 3: it is, And I don't think I have an enormous

924
00:43:59,367 --> 00:44:03,047
Speaker 3: amount of self control. And this week, because I'm surrounded

925
00:44:03,047 --> 00:44:05,807
Speaker 3: by people who are smarter and more levelheaded than me,

926
00:44:06,167 --> 00:44:08,247
Speaker 3: they say no, no, no, you must go high, you must

927
00:44:08,287 --> 00:44:08,607
Speaker 3: go high.

928
00:44:08,647 --> 00:44:12,527
Speaker 2: And sometimes and Michelle Obama when they go low, she

929
00:44:12,727 --> 00:44:13,967
Speaker 2: was talking about Donald Trump.

930
00:44:14,287 --> 00:44:19,487
Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, it's not dissimilar the world I'm living in.

931
00:44:19,527 --> 00:44:21,487
Speaker 1: Would I like to be a brawler on the internet

932
00:44:21,527 --> 00:44:24,327
Speaker 1: if you didn't have usity. It's in the areas all

933
00:44:24,367 --> 00:44:25,687
Speaker 1: the time saying don't put it down.

934
00:44:25,927 --> 00:44:29,687
Speaker 3: I think I can see how it becomes addictive, how

935
00:44:29,687 --> 00:44:32,807
Speaker 3: you could just like the energy of it. There's not

936
00:44:32,847 --> 00:44:35,807
Speaker 3: a lot of nothing to be gauged. But there's not

937
00:44:35,847 --> 00:44:37,967
Speaker 3: a lot of dopamine by going high, you know what

938
00:44:37,967 --> 00:44:39,487
Speaker 3: I mean.

939
00:44:39,687 --> 00:44:43,047
Speaker 2: There's no serotonin, there's no meaning. It's like you can.

940
00:44:42,927 --> 00:44:44,887
Speaker 1: Feel there's just a lot of conversations.

941
00:44:44,927 --> 00:44:46,927
Speaker 2: I'm not going to give this thing oxygen. I'm not

942
00:44:46,927 --> 00:44:49,287
Speaker 2: going to whatever. I'm just going to go high and

943
00:44:49,327 --> 00:44:52,167
Speaker 2: ignore it. But it's not very satisfying.

944
00:44:53,767 --> 00:44:56,007
Speaker 3: No, it's not satisfying in the long term either. I

945
00:44:56,087 --> 00:44:58,807
Speaker 3: keep waiting for the satisfaction of going high, and I'm like,

946
00:44:58,887 --> 00:45:01,887
Speaker 3: this is just very boring. Like I know it's worse

947
00:45:01,927 --> 00:45:05,607
Speaker 3: to go low, but taking the high road is not

948
00:45:05,687 --> 00:45:08,527
Speaker 3: giving me the sugar USh. It's funny is that we

949
00:45:08,567 --> 00:45:12,287
Speaker 3: all congraduate for going We all cycle through it. And

950
00:45:12,327 --> 00:45:16,047
Speaker 3: when you say people who are wiser and more level

951
00:45:16,047 --> 00:45:18,607
Speaker 3: headed than me, meaning me in Holly, I think you

952
00:45:18,687 --> 00:45:20,567
Speaker 3: actually mean Holly because this morning I had.

953
00:45:20,487 --> 00:45:24,127
Speaker 2: To throw my phone to Holly and say hold it

954
00:45:24,167 --> 00:45:24,807
Speaker 2: for me, please.

955
00:45:25,367 --> 00:45:27,407
Speaker 1: There's no time when I snap at me, and more

956
00:45:27,407 --> 00:45:29,367
Speaker 1: when I'm in a meeting and she starts bashing something

957
00:45:29,447 --> 00:45:30,327
Speaker 1: on the phone, I'm like, give.

958
00:45:30,167 --> 00:45:34,407
Speaker 2: It me, give it, stop it stopping, don't say it.

959
00:45:34,407 --> 00:45:36,887
Speaker 3: Don't see as we need two of us to be

960
00:45:36,927 --> 00:45:39,447
Speaker 3: going high at the same time. Correct, we can't have

961
00:45:39,487 --> 00:45:42,007
Speaker 3: the equilibria true if two of.

962
00:45:42,047 --> 00:45:44,647
Speaker 2: Us would to go lower at the same time. Because

963
00:45:44,687 --> 00:45:46,367
Speaker 2: I was a bit like, yeah, I'm going a low

964
00:45:46,447 --> 00:45:50,967
Speaker 2: to Andy's like, children, join me back on high ground.

965
00:45:51,127 --> 00:45:54,487
Speaker 2: Sometimes we hate we hate high ground.

966
00:45:54,527 --> 00:45:55,527
Speaker 1: Tell us something nice.

967
00:45:55,727 --> 00:45:59,047
Speaker 3: My best is I watched in real time the other night.

968
00:45:59,087 --> 00:46:00,767
Speaker 3: I was walking home and I didn't have the pram

969
00:46:00,807 --> 00:46:02,167
Speaker 3: with me, and so I was just on my own

970
00:46:02,167 --> 00:46:03,287
Speaker 3: and I was walking home. I was at a set

971
00:46:03,327 --> 00:46:06,207
Speaker 3: of lights and a man in a car, particular type

972
00:46:06,247 --> 00:46:07,727
Speaker 3: of man, stopped at the lights and he had his

973
00:46:07,807 --> 00:46:09,647
Speaker 3: window down and he looked over to me, and I

974
00:46:09,727 --> 00:46:11,927
Speaker 3: watched him being like, I'm going a wolf whistle at

975
00:46:11,927 --> 00:46:13,767
Speaker 3: that person. And then I watched him clock me and

976
00:46:13,807 --> 00:46:17,487
Speaker 3: decide not to And it is the funniest thing I.

977
00:46:17,447 --> 00:46:19,647
Speaker 2: Have ever seen. I laughed all my way home because

978
00:46:19,647 --> 00:46:22,287
Speaker 2: it was like he saw the general shape of a woman,

979
00:46:22,687 --> 00:46:25,927
Speaker 2: a blonde woman well, and he just kind of went

980
00:46:26,207 --> 00:46:26,927
Speaker 2: blonde woman.

981
00:46:27,647 --> 00:46:29,607
Speaker 3: And then he looked at me, and I looked so

982
00:46:29,727 --> 00:46:32,687
Speaker 3: haggard and so like you were gonna.

983
00:46:32,447 --> 00:46:34,287
Speaker 2: Say, I'm miss read this. I thought it was your

984
00:46:34,287 --> 00:46:37,367
Speaker 2: best because he's like he thought, no, jacko, come on,

985
00:46:37,767 --> 00:46:40,407
Speaker 2: we don't cat call women, do we? We respect women.

986
00:46:41,087 --> 00:46:42,887
Speaker 3: That's what one of my friends said, Like maybe he

987
00:46:43,007 --> 00:46:45,567
Speaker 3: got the memo about respecting women. I was like, no, no, no, no,

988
00:46:45,687 --> 00:46:47,247
Speaker 3: he was going to go on cat call a thirteen

989
00:46:47,287 --> 00:46:50,087
Speaker 3: year old. He just saw me and went not worth

990
00:46:50,127 --> 00:46:53,567
Speaker 3: my cat call. And it was such a funny moment

991
00:46:53,687 --> 00:46:56,927
Speaker 3: because I was like, I feel relieved, but I also

992
00:46:57,007 --> 00:46:58,967
Speaker 3: am grappling with the fact that you get cat called

993
00:46:58,967 --> 00:47:00,367
Speaker 3: more at thirteen than you do.

994
00:47:00,607 --> 00:47:01,927
Speaker 2: It's like an our age.

995
00:47:02,007 --> 00:47:05,767
Speaker 1: It's profound. I remember very clearly moment I realized that

996
00:47:05,887 --> 00:47:08,807
Speaker 1: I was old in a vert commas and you're not.

997
00:47:08,927 --> 00:47:10,967
Speaker 1: I'm not like suggesting you are. But I was walking

998
00:47:10,967 --> 00:47:12,727
Speaker 1: down the street in the middle of Sydney with a

999
00:47:12,767 --> 00:47:17,007
Speaker 1: young colleague and car hooted like more than once, and

1000
00:47:17,207 --> 00:47:19,287
Speaker 1: I turned to her and say, gosh, I didn't think that.

1001
00:47:19,367 --> 00:47:20,607
Speaker 2: Men did that anymore.

1002
00:47:20,767 --> 00:47:24,127
Speaker 1: And then I was like, oh see, I think interesting,

1003
00:47:24,887 --> 00:47:26,687
Speaker 1: and I think that the feelings you have can be

1004
00:47:26,727 --> 00:47:29,327
Speaker 1: complicated because it's not in any way like I never

1005
00:47:29,487 --> 00:47:32,767
Speaker 1: liked being cat called, but you have been trained to

1006
00:47:32,847 --> 00:47:35,727
Speaker 1: be so visible from the minute you your body began

1007
00:47:35,767 --> 00:47:38,407
Speaker 1: to shift. You are used to it and you're prepared

1008
00:47:38,447 --> 00:47:40,007
Speaker 1: for it, and you're kind of braced for it, and

1009
00:47:40,007 --> 00:47:41,487
Speaker 1: then when it goes it's really Oh.

1010
00:47:41,647 --> 00:47:43,647
Speaker 3: I watched in real time the moment it left this

1011
00:47:43,767 --> 00:47:45,607
Speaker 3: man's eyes, and it's like when you have a pram,

1012
00:47:45,807 --> 00:47:48,447
Speaker 3: it's like you have a shield because people don't.

1013
00:47:48,567 --> 00:47:50,887
Speaker 2: People actually get a hiatus.

1014
00:47:51,007 --> 00:47:53,327
Speaker 3: Yeah, you get a hiatus from the days I did

1015
00:47:54,047 --> 00:47:56,527
Speaker 3: and being pregnant, people leave you alone. But when I

1016
00:47:56,687 --> 00:47:59,607
Speaker 3: was neither, it was clear that he was like maybe,

1017
00:47:59,767 --> 00:48:00,967
Speaker 3: and then he saw me and he's.

1018
00:48:00,807 --> 00:48:04,327
Speaker 2: Like I watched that happen when I was out in

1019
00:48:04,727 --> 00:48:07,607
Speaker 2: the street in Bonday with my daughter one time after dinner.

1020
00:48:08,087 --> 00:48:10,087
Speaker 2: There was a car that drove past and cat called,

1021
00:48:10,087 --> 00:48:12,407
Speaker 2: and she thought they were cat calling me, but I

1022
00:48:12,487 --> 00:48:14,287
Speaker 2: knew that they were cat calling her. Because she was

1023
00:48:14,327 --> 00:48:17,207
Speaker 2: so young, she didn't register even though she had been

1024
00:48:17,327 --> 00:48:19,887
Speaker 2: sexually harassed in the street before, but she still was

1025
00:48:20,127 --> 00:48:22,287
Speaker 2: of that mode that she thought that that was something

1026
00:48:22,327 --> 00:48:27,167
Speaker 2: that happened to older women. No, it's actually a children thing.

1027
00:48:27,367 --> 00:48:30,767
Speaker 3: Great before we go, I was thinking that what we

1028
00:48:30,807 --> 00:48:33,087
Speaker 3: should do is doing around the grounds of what was

1029
00:48:33,167 --> 00:48:35,807
Speaker 3: on our other podcasts this week. Mayam who was on

1030
00:48:35,887 --> 00:48:36,447
Speaker 3: no Phone.

1031
00:48:36,327 --> 00:48:38,407
Speaker 2: H Oh, if you want to listen to something that

1032
00:48:38,527 --> 00:48:39,927
Speaker 2: is just going to lift your heart. I've had so

1033
00:48:39,967 --> 00:48:42,167
Speaker 2: many people say they cried happy tears listening to this,

1034
00:48:42,247 --> 00:48:44,047
Speaker 2: and it just I haven't listened to it, but they

1035
00:48:44,087 --> 00:48:46,047
Speaker 2: said listen right to the end. Apparently there's an easter

1036
00:48:46,087 --> 00:48:47,327
Speaker 2: egg at the end that you've got to listen out.

1037
00:48:47,527 --> 00:48:49,527
Speaker 2: Listen right to the end. So it is about a

1038
00:48:49,567 --> 00:48:53,647
Speaker 2: guy and his husband who have just fostered three little siblings.

1039
00:48:54,247 --> 00:48:57,367
Speaker 2: They've become like instant fathers. They decided they wanted to

1040
00:48:57,447 --> 00:49:00,327
Speaker 2: foster kids. It was really interesting him explaining the process.

1041
00:49:00,367 --> 00:49:02,687
Speaker 2: They decided they didn't want babies or toddlers. They thought

1042
00:49:02,687 --> 00:49:05,967
Speaker 2: they'd be good parents for kids that were a little

1043
00:49:05,967 --> 00:49:08,527
Speaker 2: bit older, and so they just went to this agency

1044
00:49:08,847 --> 00:49:12,687
Speaker 2: and they were like the gold standard because they were

1045
00:49:13,007 --> 00:49:16,207
Speaker 2: a couple of two people who had their own house

1046
00:49:16,287 --> 00:49:20,007
Speaker 2: with extra bedrooms, and they both worked, so they had

1047
00:49:20,047 --> 00:49:22,487
Speaker 2: they were financially independent. They'd passed all their tests through

1048
00:49:22,527 --> 00:49:25,127
Speaker 2: the department and whatever. Everyone pretty much came out and

1049
00:49:25,127 --> 00:49:27,927
Speaker 2: started applauding just when they walked in, and they were like,

1050
00:49:27,967 --> 00:49:29,727
Speaker 2: you know, how you want to maybe foster a child?

1051
00:49:29,727 --> 00:49:32,447
Speaker 2: How about fostering three children? They were like whoa, And

1052
00:49:32,527 --> 00:49:35,047
Speaker 2: they decided to do it. And he talks about him

1053
00:49:35,087 --> 00:49:37,047
Speaker 2: and his husband going to meet the kids for the

1054
00:49:37,087 --> 00:49:39,367
Speaker 2: first time and how you go from being a couple

1055
00:49:39,887 --> 00:49:43,807
Speaker 2: to literally being a family. Of five overnight, like wow

1056
00:49:43,967 --> 00:49:47,127
Speaker 2: in one dek So it's really really beautiful, so good.

1057
00:49:47,167 --> 00:49:49,527
Speaker 2: It's No Filter about fostering Holly.

1058
00:49:49,527 --> 00:49:53,287
Speaker 1: Who's on MIT MIT this week was Shanawan, who is

1059
00:49:53,607 --> 00:49:56,767
Speaker 1: a woman who runs this grassroots charity called Sober in

1060
00:49:56,807 --> 00:50:00,327
Speaker 1: the Country and it's about Generation X women and alcohol.

1061
00:50:00,647 --> 00:50:04,127
Speaker 1: Generation X has an interesting and unique relationship with alcohol

1062
00:50:04,167 --> 00:50:05,807
Speaker 1: in lots of ways, I think because we were really

1063
00:50:05,847 --> 00:50:07,927
Speaker 1: brought up with that. It was almost like a feminist

1064
00:50:08,047 --> 00:50:10,567
Speaker 1: acts to drink, like the boar, and then we went

1065
00:50:10,607 --> 00:50:13,247
Speaker 1: through the whole mummy wine culture and this is just

1066
00:50:13,327 --> 00:50:15,807
Speaker 1: my mummy juice and all that stuff. And I know

1067
00:50:16,407 --> 00:50:19,607
Speaker 1: so many midlife women who are now grappling with their

1068
00:50:19,647 --> 00:50:23,327
Speaker 1: relationship with alcohol. And Shanna has an amazing personal story

1069
00:50:23,327 --> 00:50:25,047
Speaker 1: of her own. She told it on No Filter once.

1070
00:50:25,647 --> 00:50:27,927
Speaker 1: She says that ninety percent of the people who reach

1071
00:50:27,967 --> 00:50:30,647
Speaker 1: out to her organization or women aged between forty and

1072
00:50:30,687 --> 00:50:34,567
Speaker 1: sixty ninety percent. So if you or anyone you know

1073
00:50:34,687 --> 00:50:38,647
Speaker 1: is questioning whether your booze is still your best friend, listen.

1074
00:50:38,727 --> 00:50:41,047
Speaker 1: And some people have said to me, oh, look I'm

1075
00:50:41,047 --> 00:50:44,007
Speaker 1: not sober. I'm not sober. And I say this on

1076
00:50:44,047 --> 00:50:46,887
Speaker 1: the show several times, like it's about I'm not one

1077
00:50:46,927 --> 00:50:50,167
Speaker 1: of those people who has given away alcohol, but I

1078
00:50:50,207 --> 00:50:53,567
Speaker 1: think it's just such an issue for so many women

1079
00:50:53,607 --> 00:50:56,047
Speaker 1: in my life stage who are questioning is this still

1080
00:50:56,167 --> 00:50:56,767
Speaker 1: working for me?

1081
00:50:57,007 --> 00:50:57,207
Speaker 2: Yeah?

1082
00:50:57,247 --> 00:50:59,727
Speaker 1: And it's just a really really good conversation about that.

1083
00:50:59,927 --> 00:51:02,367
Speaker 3: Un canceled. This week, we did Jessica Albert. Did you

1084
00:51:02,367 --> 00:51:03,407
Speaker 3: ever see the movie Honey?

1085
00:51:03,847 --> 00:51:04,327
Speaker 2: Oh? Yeah?

1086
00:51:05,087 --> 00:51:07,167
Speaker 3: It was some of her crimes that we looked through

1087
00:51:07,327 --> 00:51:10,327
Speaker 3: were being too hot make it. That was number one

1088
00:51:10,487 --> 00:51:12,087
Speaker 3: making us think we could do hip hop because I

1089
00:51:12,087 --> 00:51:14,407
Speaker 3: think everyone took a hip hop class. After that, there

1090
00:51:14,487 --> 00:51:18,047
Speaker 3: was a woman who got extensive plastic surgery to look

1091
00:51:18,087 --> 00:51:20,127
Speaker 3: like Jessica Alber, and then Jessica Alber had to release

1092
00:51:20,127 --> 00:51:23,647
Speaker 3: a statement. And also the feud between Jessica Alber and

1093
00:51:23,687 --> 00:51:26,687
Speaker 3: Gwyneth Paltrow because you know, Jessica Albert has her own

1094
00:51:27,087 --> 00:51:31,287
Speaker 3: beauty company called The Honest Company. Yes, yes, and Gwyneth's like,

1095
00:51:31,367 --> 00:51:33,087
Speaker 3: is not clean enough? And she's like fuck your clean

1096
00:51:33,127 --> 00:51:36,087
Speaker 3: beauty and like, yeah, not literally, that's not a quote.

1097
00:51:36,127 --> 00:51:39,127
Speaker 3: It was so much fun, so Jessica Alba and a

1098
00:51:39,167 --> 00:51:41,807
Speaker 3: few weeks ago we did Kanye West. And you need

1099
00:51:41,847 --> 00:51:43,727
Speaker 3: to get someone in your life to listen to it.

1100
00:51:43,807 --> 00:51:45,527
Speaker 1: You do like was that a double episode?

1101
00:51:45,687 --> 00:51:45,887
Speaker 2: Was that?

1102
00:51:45,967 --> 00:51:48,487
Speaker 3: Like how we got up to one episode, but that

1103
00:51:48,527 --> 00:51:50,287
Speaker 3: could have been a ten episode series.

1104
00:51:50,807 --> 00:51:52,607
Speaker 1: We're gonna have links to all those shows in the

1105
00:51:52,647 --> 00:51:54,647
Speaker 1: show notes. That's it. We're done. We're going to be

1106
00:51:54,687 --> 00:51:57,567
Speaker 1: back in your ears on Monday. Thank you for being

1107
00:51:57,607 --> 00:51:59,927
Speaker 1: with us all week out loud as, We freaking love you.

1108
00:52:00,247 --> 00:52:03,527
Speaker 1: This episode was produced by Emily and Gazillis. The assistant

1109
00:52:03,527 --> 00:52:06,247
Speaker 1: producer was Charlie Blackman. We've had audio production from Lea

1110
00:52:06,327 --> 00:52:09,007
Speaker 1: Porge's and our brand manager is Carrie Scott Jackson. And

1111
00:52:09,247 --> 00:52:10,367
Speaker 1: I'll see you next week.

1112
00:52:10,647 --> 00:52:11,927
Speaker 2: Bye bye.

1113
00:52:12,887 --> 00:52:15,807
Speaker 3: Shout out to any Mother and MEA subscribers listening. If

1114
00:52:15,847 --> 00:52:17,807
Speaker 3: you love the show and you want to support us,

1115
00:52:18,047 --> 00:52:20,847
Speaker 3: subscribing to Mom and Mia is the very best way

1116
00:52:20,887 --> 00:52:23,447
Speaker 3: to do so. There's a link in the episode description.