1
00:00:00,360 --> 00:00:01,480
Speaker 1: Beautiful yighborhood.

2
00:00:01,560 --> 00:00:04,640
Speaker 2: I hope you're having a fabulous long weekend full of yay.

3
00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:06,960
Speaker 2: I was sitting down to write up today's Yeas of

4
00:00:06,960 --> 00:00:09,920
Speaker 2: Our Lives episode, and one of my recommendations that came

5
00:00:10,000 --> 00:00:12,400
Speaker 2: up was an incredible new book that I just finished,

6
00:00:12,720 --> 00:00:17,320
Speaker 2: the Success Experiment, launched just recently by the inimitable Flex Mummy,

7
00:00:17,440 --> 00:00:18,720
Speaker 2: otherwise known as Lillian A.

8
00:00:18,840 --> 00:00:19,200
Speaker 1: Hanken.

9
00:00:20,000 --> 00:00:22,799
Speaker 2: I realized that I was struggling to describe, without just

10
00:00:22,840 --> 00:00:25,799
Speaker 2: reading the entire book out to you here, just how

11
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:30,520
Speaker 2: uniquely but powerfully Flex articulates life's great questions with a

12
00:00:30,520 --> 00:00:34,400
Speaker 2: splash of humor and so much color, both literarily and

13
00:00:34,720 --> 00:00:37,760
Speaker 2: literally in the pages of her beautiful book. But I

14
00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:40,760
Speaker 2: remembered that, of course, she jumped on the show two

15
00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:44,200
Speaker 2: lockdowns ago around this time last year for a juicy chat,

16
00:00:44,520 --> 00:00:47,479
Speaker 2: and I thought re releasing that one would probably give

17
00:00:47,520 --> 00:00:50,440
Speaker 2: you a better idea of just how wonderful she is.

18
00:00:51,120 --> 00:00:54,000
Speaker 2: I've only just started re releasing past episodes this year

19
00:00:54,080 --> 00:00:56,640
Speaker 2: when a guest releases a new book or I unexpectedly

20
00:00:56,720 --> 00:00:58,920
Speaker 2: end up without a new episode for that week, and

21
00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:01,720
Speaker 2: I've been so surprised how often some of our chats

22
00:01:01,760 --> 00:01:05,320
Speaker 2: fly under people's radars. So hopefully this time this one

23
00:01:05,360 --> 00:01:07,360
Speaker 2: reaches a few of you who missed it the first

24
00:01:07,360 --> 00:01:11,280
Speaker 2: time around. Ignore a few temporal references relevant to last year,

25
00:01:11,280 --> 00:01:14,960
Speaker 2: but otherwise, I hope you enjoy Flex's fascinating brain and

26
00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:18,200
Speaker 2: eloquence as much as I did. I'll pop the link

27
00:01:18,240 --> 00:01:21,000
Speaker 2: to her new book, The Success Experiment in the show

28
00:01:21,040 --> 00:01:22,959
Speaker 2: notes and hope you guys enjoy.

29
00:01:23,640 --> 00:01:25,880
Speaker 3: I think I've always to a point had some sort

30
00:01:25,880 --> 00:01:29,199
Speaker 3: of identity crisis, but it wasn't rooted in being culturally

31
00:01:29,319 --> 00:01:33,360
Speaker 3: different until adulthood, where people were a lot more forthcoming,

32
00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:35,440
Speaker 3: you know, with what they felt about the way it looked.

33
00:01:35,600 --> 00:01:39,600
Speaker 3: There is no one homogeneous Black experience. Yeah, there's barely

34
00:01:39,640 --> 00:01:43,080
Speaker 3: a homogeneous Black Australian experience. Even if we were to

35
00:01:43,800 --> 00:01:47,840
Speaker 3: dwindle it down to the Black Australian heterosexual female experience,

36
00:01:47,880 --> 00:01:53,680
Speaker 3: Now it's not homogeneous. Any form of improving, developing, upskilling, evolving,

37
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:59,920
Speaker 3: transforming is hardshit. Absolutely going against the grain isn't beneficial until.

38
00:02:00,400 --> 00:02:04,280
Speaker 2: Welcome to the Seize the Yay podcast. Busy and happy

39
00:02:04,400 --> 00:02:07,360
Speaker 2: are not the same thing. We too rarely question what

40
00:02:07,480 --> 00:02:10,160
Speaker 2: makes the heart seeing we work, then we rest, but

41
00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:13,440
Speaker 2: rarely we play and often don't realize there's more than

42
00:02:13,480 --> 00:02:16,240
Speaker 2: one way. So this is the platforms to hear and

43
00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:19,760
Speaker 2: explore the stories of those who found lives they adore,

44
00:02:19,960 --> 00:02:22,600
Speaker 2: the good, bad and ugly, The best and worst day

45
00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:27,280
Speaker 2: will bear all the facets of seizing your Yea. I'm

46
00:02:27,320 --> 00:02:30,640
Speaker 2: Sarah Davidson or a spoonful of Sarah, a lawyer turned

47
00:02:30,639 --> 00:02:33,480
Speaker 2: funentrepreneur who swapped the suits and heels to co found

48
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:36,840
Speaker 2: matcha Maiden and matcha Milkbar. Sez the Ya is a

49
00:02:36,880 --> 00:02:39,680
Speaker 2: series of conversations on finding a life you love and

50
00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,920
Speaker 2: exploring the self doubt, challenge, joy and fulfillment along the way.

51
00:02:47,840 --> 00:02:50,200
Speaker 2: The way that twenty twenty has unfolded has had a

52
00:02:50,240 --> 00:02:53,120
Speaker 2: lot of us reflecting in ways we haven't in years,

53
00:02:53,600 --> 00:02:58,079
Speaker 2: but self awareness, existential reflection and critical thinking about values,

54
00:02:58,200 --> 00:03:02,760
Speaker 2: behaviors and perceptions has been this week's guests Jam since

55
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:06,760
Speaker 2: long before the pandemic. Few people get my brain gymnastics

56
00:03:06,800 --> 00:03:10,200
Speaker 2: going like the inimitable Lilian Henken, who you may know

57
00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:13,040
Speaker 2: as Flex Mummy, and the chat you're about to hear

58
00:03:13,240 --> 00:03:16,720
Speaker 2: was no exception. While she is now changing how we think,

59
00:03:16,880 --> 00:03:19,880
Speaker 2: how we do our makeup, and how we decorate our furniture.

60
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:24,760
Speaker 2: As a self dubbed professional opinion haver and slashy DJ's

61
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:29,040
Speaker 2: slash TV host, slash podcaster, slash beauty guru, slash creator

62
00:03:29,120 --> 00:03:32,359
Speaker 2: of Flex Factory. I love chatting to Lil about the

63
00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,720
Speaker 2: rollercoaster journey all of us go through finding our personal

64
00:03:35,720 --> 00:03:40,640
Speaker 2: balance between conventionality and difference. As an Australian born Garnaian woman,

65
00:03:40,800 --> 00:03:44,360
Speaker 2: the societal projection of a homogeneous black women's experience is

66
00:03:44,440 --> 00:03:46,640
Speaker 2: just one of the many layers of identity that we

67
00:03:46,720 --> 00:03:50,320
Speaker 2: peel back with her incredible ability to articulate and guide

68
00:03:50,440 --> 00:03:55,040
Speaker 2: multifaceted conversations. I was so captivated in exploring the different

69
00:03:55,080 --> 00:03:58,080
Speaker 2: elements of our identity and the many snake skins Flex

70
00:03:58,120 --> 00:04:01,000
Speaker 2: has worn and shed herself, that we went for almost

71
00:04:01,040 --> 00:04:04,520
Speaker 2: two hours having a great laugh. But I've cut the

72
00:04:04,560 --> 00:04:08,000
Speaker 2: best off for you to enjoy. If you aren't thinking

73
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:10,400
Speaker 2: fundamentally differently about things at the end of this one,

74
00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:13,440
Speaker 2: I'd be surprised. I hope you enjoy this one as much.

75
00:04:13,320 --> 00:04:14,400
Speaker 1: As I did. Flex.

76
00:04:14,560 --> 00:04:17,800
Speaker 2: Welcome to CZA. It's been a long time coming, but

77
00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:20,320
Speaker 2: I'm so so excited.

78
00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:20,760
Speaker 1: To have you on today.

79
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:23,080
Speaker 3: Thanks for having me. I was having a thought this

80
00:04:23,200 --> 00:04:26,840
Speaker 3: morning that between you and I, we're the only people

81
00:04:26,880 --> 00:04:30,320
Speaker 3: I can recall who use yay quite liberally and don't

82
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:35,560
Speaker 3: think it's like condescending or contrived. I really feel like

83
00:04:35,720 --> 00:04:38,800
Speaker 3: YA accurately describes a lot of things. It's the appropriate

84
00:04:38,800 --> 00:04:41,760
Speaker 3: response for a lot oh underrated and underused.

85
00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:44,240
Speaker 2: I agree, oh my gosh, that this is one of

86
00:04:44,279 --> 00:04:48,000
Speaker 2: the many million reasons why I aenjoy you. I mean, yeah,

87
00:04:48,040 --> 00:04:50,360
Speaker 2: you should be absolutely dished out in a liberal fashion.

88
00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:55,279
Speaker 3: Absolutely. In addition to exclamation points, I feel strongly about

89
00:04:55,320 --> 00:04:58,719
Speaker 3: those as well, and they are too underused.

90
00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:00,880
Speaker 2: Although I think I'm a bit there other way, I

91
00:05:00,920 --> 00:05:03,120
Speaker 2: over use them. And then I think I saw it

92
00:05:03,160 --> 00:05:05,320
Speaker 2: was maybe on the Shameless page the other day about

93
00:05:05,520 --> 00:05:08,320
Speaker 2: if I have two sentences in an email, which one

94
00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,200
Speaker 2: gets the exclamation Mike. I'm like, well, all of them,

95
00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:12,200
Speaker 2: all of.

96
00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:17,520
Speaker 3: Them and multiple. It really does help with conveying tone,

97
00:05:17,560 --> 00:05:20,960
Speaker 3: because without them. I mean to digress that I was

98
00:05:21,040 --> 00:05:25,960
Speaker 3: googling this. I was googling gendered speech patterns because somebody

99
00:05:25,960 --> 00:05:28,240
Speaker 3: on TikTok said that that was one of their hobbies,

100
00:05:28,279 --> 00:05:31,040
Speaker 3: and I was like, what's a gendered speech pattern? And

101
00:05:31,200 --> 00:05:36,600
Speaker 3: basically the Internet told me that stereotypically, women are more

102
00:05:36,800 --> 00:05:43,520
Speaker 3: likely to integrate very passive phrases into their language in

103
00:05:43,560 --> 00:05:46,080
Speaker 3: the way that men might not. So women are more

104
00:05:46,240 --> 00:05:52,680
Speaker 3: likely to say ah, but yeah, like, whereas men are

105
00:05:53,040 --> 00:05:57,359
Speaker 3: more naturally inclined to speak and not mince their words.

106
00:05:57,839 --> 00:06:00,599
Speaker 3: And as soon as I discovered that, I was thinking

107
00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:02,880
Speaker 3: to myself, how hard would it be to make more

108
00:06:02,920 --> 00:06:06,160
Speaker 3: of a considered effort to say exactly what I mean

109
00:06:06,760 --> 00:06:10,160
Speaker 3: as I want to rather than the la And then

110
00:06:10,160 --> 00:06:14,320
Speaker 3: you know, and it's so much harder because it changes

111
00:06:14,320 --> 00:06:17,799
Speaker 3: your cadence, it changes your tone, it changes your accessibility.

112
00:06:18,040 --> 00:06:22,440
Speaker 3: Absolutely are these gendered things. Also, it's interesting.

113
00:06:22,160 --> 00:06:25,440
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. Okay, So firstly, for everyone listening, I mean,

114
00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:28,960
Speaker 2: this is already if you wanted a taster of what

115
00:06:29,040 --> 00:06:32,880
Speaker 2: flex is all about. It's asking the questions about the

116
00:06:32,920 --> 00:06:35,360
Speaker 2: stuff we take for granted that we just do out

117
00:06:35,360 --> 00:06:39,120
Speaker 2: of habit, and really reflecting on what our reflexes are.

118
00:06:39,160 --> 00:06:40,880
Speaker 2: I mean, that's what this is all about. You have

119
00:06:41,040 --> 00:06:44,520
Speaker 2: literally a self development and critical thinking game to your name.

120
00:06:44,960 --> 00:06:47,320
Speaker 2: I just love that you ask the things that break

121
00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,839
Speaker 2: taboo or even just break the autopilot's circuit of thought

122
00:06:50,920 --> 00:06:54,760
Speaker 2: patterns and talk about it so eloquently and you're just

123
00:06:54,800 --> 00:06:55,280
Speaker 2: so good.

124
00:06:56,320 --> 00:06:56,760
Speaker 3: Thank you.

125
00:06:56,880 --> 00:07:00,640
Speaker 2: I do try so before we kick off, the first

126
00:07:00,720 --> 00:07:02,839
Speaker 2: question I ask everyone as a little eyes breaker, is

127
00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:04,880
Speaker 2: what the most down to earth thing is about them?

128
00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:09,400
Speaker 2: And on the one hand, you are incredibly admired and

129
00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:12,680
Speaker 2: followed closely on social media and in the world, and

130
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,680
Speaker 2: so that it could appear like there was a bit

131
00:07:14,680 --> 00:07:17,600
Speaker 2: of a glossy surface. But on the other hand, you're

132
00:07:17,640 --> 00:07:20,080
Speaker 2: also one of the most open and taboo breaking person

133
00:07:20,240 --> 00:07:23,840
Speaker 2: on the interwebs at this time, so it's probably like

134
00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:25,680
Speaker 2: not a question I actually need to ask you, But

135
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:29,080
Speaker 2: for anyone who's new to flex Mami, what's something really

136
00:07:29,080 --> 00:07:30,040
Speaker 2: down to earth about you?

137
00:07:30,360 --> 00:07:35,680
Speaker 3: Ooh? That's really interesting and a trickier question, maybe for

138
00:07:35,800 --> 00:07:38,960
Speaker 3: me than most, because sometimes I struggle with the way

139
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:43,720
Speaker 3: that relatability is commodified, and how we're all so hyper

140
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:46,200
Speaker 3: aware of not being seen as other like I'm just

141
00:07:46,320 --> 00:07:50,280
Speaker 3: like you, I'm normal, when in reality, probably most of

142
00:07:50,360 --> 00:07:53,760
Speaker 3: us aren't like our audience, and we're not normal. We

143
00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:58,320
Speaker 3: are the abnormal. But I would have to say it's

144
00:07:58,360 --> 00:08:01,200
Speaker 3: down to earth because it's the most surprise. But just

145
00:08:01,200 --> 00:08:05,840
Speaker 3: being a really picky eater, I definitely a toddler, and

146
00:08:06,160 --> 00:08:08,880
Speaker 3: people find it really interesting because I have such a

147
00:08:08,920 --> 00:08:14,040
Speaker 3: flavorful appearance. But in any given circumstance, I would prefer

148
00:08:14,640 --> 00:08:18,640
Speaker 3: vanilla ice cream plain, you know, mashed potatoes. Plain is

149
00:08:18,680 --> 00:08:22,920
Speaker 3: in very simple like simplely cooked chicken, like a schnitzel.

150
00:08:22,960 --> 00:08:25,600
Speaker 3: I don't want like it raised. I don't want it boiled.

151
00:08:25,600 --> 00:08:28,680
Speaker 3: I don't want any variation of the norm. I want

152
00:08:28,680 --> 00:08:34,200
Speaker 3: a cheese and a cracker. I'm talking, you know, at

153
00:08:34,320 --> 00:08:37,720
Speaker 3: most of breda Camembert. I'm not eating goggan zola. I'm

154
00:08:37,760 --> 00:08:41,400
Speaker 3: not doing it. I'm not getting honey drizzled into it.

155
00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:45,480
Speaker 2: That is that actually blows. That is the best answer

156
00:08:45,520 --> 00:08:46,640
Speaker 2: I could have ever imagined.

157
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:49,840
Speaker 3: That's it. I want white bread. I don't want multi grain.

158
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:52,960
Speaker 3: I don't want lindseeed. I don't want whole meal. I

159
00:08:52,960 --> 00:08:53,920
Speaker 3: don't even want bosh.

160
00:08:54,760 --> 00:08:57,320
Speaker 1: Oh my, you don't even want no.

161
00:08:57,960 --> 00:09:02,320
Speaker 3: I don't mind a milk bun. Sometimes so specific, I

162
00:09:02,360 --> 00:09:06,520
Speaker 3: love it, that is it. I am quite a specific person.

163
00:09:06,760 --> 00:09:07,640
Speaker 1: Yeah, I think you are.

164
00:09:07,760 --> 00:09:09,320
Speaker 2: I love that you know what you like and you

165
00:09:09,360 --> 00:09:11,120
Speaker 2: know what you don't like, and you're happy to like

166
00:09:11,400 --> 00:09:13,000
Speaker 2: below the horn of the things that you love. But

167
00:09:13,120 --> 00:09:15,199
Speaker 2: on the other hand, you're like, but I don't need

168
00:09:15,200 --> 00:09:17,800
Speaker 2: to be flavorful in every single aspect of my life,

169
00:09:17,880 --> 00:09:21,480
Speaker 2: like I don't need to be rainbow, multicolored gradient paint

170
00:09:21,840 --> 00:09:24,440
Speaker 2: equivalent in my plate like I'm bland.

171
00:09:24,559 --> 00:09:28,560
Speaker 3: That's fine, exactly exactly, And the people around me, my

172
00:09:28,640 --> 00:09:32,240
Speaker 3: closer loved ones, are always trying to push me outside

173
00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:35,280
Speaker 3: of my comfort zone because most people associate like a

174
00:09:35,360 --> 00:09:39,920
Speaker 3: closed mindedness with regret or lack. There's so much you're

175
00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,880
Speaker 3: not trying, and if you just I'm quite comfortable with

176
00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:45,559
Speaker 3: the palette when I wake up. There's nothing I feel

177
00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:47,680
Speaker 3: as though I need to try more or less of

178
00:09:47,800 --> 00:09:50,640
Speaker 3: I have. You know, I have my options, and the

179
00:09:50,679 --> 00:09:54,040
Speaker 3: options are quite fine. Whereas in different aspects of my life,

180
00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:57,960
Speaker 3: like let's say, howse to call, I don't feel fulfilled.

181
00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:01,400
Speaker 3: Therefore I must innovate and I must create, and I

182
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:02,760
Speaker 3: must try new things.

183
00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,560
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I love you so much, And that actually, like,

184
00:10:05,600 --> 00:10:08,280
Speaker 2: on a deeper level, what I extract from that as

185
00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:12,040
Speaker 2: a really important reminder is that we do have this

186
00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:15,360
Speaker 2: overarching belief that getting out of your comfort zone is

187
00:10:15,360 --> 00:10:19,040
Speaker 2: a good thing, and really we strive for discomfort because

188
00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:21,400
Speaker 2: of the growth opportunity it offers, which in a lot

189
00:10:21,440 --> 00:10:23,680
Speaker 2: of cases people do need to get out of habit

190
00:10:23,880 --> 00:10:28,360
Speaker 2: and familiarity and just you know, autopilot. But there's also

191
00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,800
Speaker 2: something about you you can choose to stick with the

192
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:35,160
Speaker 2: things that you like just because you don't have to

193
00:10:35,240 --> 00:10:38,800
Speaker 2: be different all the time, Like, oh great, lesson Great,

194
00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:40,679
Speaker 2: I mean we can just end now. I mean I've

195
00:10:40,760 --> 00:10:42,400
Speaker 2: learned my lesson for today.

196
00:10:42,640 --> 00:10:44,760
Speaker 3: And that's it. Listening.

197
00:10:45,320 --> 00:10:49,600
Speaker 2: Oh man, So I mean you are not only one

198
00:10:49,679 --> 00:10:53,600
Speaker 2: of my favorite people, but also just have really embody.

199
00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,440
Speaker 2: Everything that sees THEA is about about all the different

200
00:10:56,440 --> 00:10:58,680
Speaker 2: ways you can take your career, all the many ways

201
00:10:58,679 --> 00:11:01,400
Speaker 2: that you've gone that you might not affixed expected. And

202
00:11:01,840 --> 00:11:04,160
Speaker 2: I love how there are so many contrasts in what

203
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,480
Speaker 2: you've done, what you do, what your personality is, I mean,

204
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:10,400
Speaker 2: your professional opinion, havever. You're just so many different things

205
00:11:10,400 --> 00:11:13,720
Speaker 2: that you hold them all so well. And it's again

206
00:11:13,760 --> 00:11:16,160
Speaker 2: I think I love that it's not out of indecision

207
00:11:16,160 --> 00:11:18,520
Speaker 2: that you are a professional slushy. I think, as you

208
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,160
Speaker 2: call it, it's a choice to pursue so many different

209
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,040
Speaker 2: sides of your personality. So the first section is your wayta,

210
00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,040
Speaker 2: which is pretty much explaining to us all the bits

211
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:30,600
Speaker 2: that came before the you that you are now. And

212
00:11:31,040 --> 00:11:33,480
Speaker 2: I think we often see people like yourself who are

213
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:36,080
Speaker 2: quite confident in their opinions and where they sit and

214
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,400
Speaker 2: what I mean, like what their palette is. And you've

215
00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,640
Speaker 2: done a lot of work to find now what works

216
00:11:40,679 --> 00:11:43,280
Speaker 2: for you and what your joy is. But we forget

217
00:11:43,320 --> 00:11:45,920
Speaker 2: to go through all the steps from childhood and all

218
00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:48,640
Speaker 2: the weird rollercoaster ups and downs that it actually takes

219
00:11:48,679 --> 00:11:51,400
Speaker 2: you to figure all that out. So I love to

220
00:11:51,440 --> 00:11:53,679
Speaker 2: go back to the very very beginning, and I mean

221
00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,040
Speaker 2: even the fact that you weren't born flex mummy you

222
00:11:56,080 --> 00:11:57,600
Speaker 2: are looking at a Hanken.

223
00:11:58,400 --> 00:12:00,000
Speaker 3: Said perfectly too. I love that.

224
00:12:02,280 --> 00:12:02,559
Speaker 1: You know.

225
00:12:02,920 --> 00:12:05,480
Speaker 2: What were you like as a child, What did you

226
00:12:05,640 --> 00:12:09,000
Speaker 2: think lay ahead in your future? Was it anything close

227
00:12:09,040 --> 00:12:12,320
Speaker 2: to what actually it turned out to be? And I

228
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:14,719
Speaker 2: think also just in light of the last couple of

229
00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:17,880
Speaker 2: weeks in particular, tell us about your experience as a

230
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:22,120
Speaker 2: Ghanaian woman who's of Ghanaian heritage but born in Australia,

231
00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,040
Speaker 2: so that whole where did you come from question? I

232
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:28,840
Speaker 2: kind of imagine what that was like me. Yeah, tell us,

233
00:12:28,960 --> 00:12:30,600
Speaker 2: tell us about young lil I guess.

234
00:12:30,480 --> 00:12:34,440
Speaker 3: It's important to start from a place where my understanding

235
00:12:34,440 --> 00:12:36,959
Speaker 3: of myself was quite conscious. And I say that happened

236
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:39,640
Speaker 3: in high school. Before then, I'm sure I was just

237
00:12:39,679 --> 00:12:42,360
Speaker 3: an empty shell who did as I was told and

238
00:12:42,480 --> 00:12:46,600
Speaker 3: latched onto whatever was popular. But I remember in about

239
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:49,240
Speaker 3: let's say year nine, is that I started high school

240
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,520
Speaker 3: a bit young, So I think I was fourteen in

241
00:12:51,600 --> 00:12:54,960
Speaker 3: year nine, and that was the year I just became

242
00:12:55,600 --> 00:13:00,400
Speaker 3: really really hyper obsessed with like subgenres and having fitting

243
00:13:00,440 --> 00:13:03,360
Speaker 3: into a stereotype. I guess it's because I consumed a

244
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:07,800
Speaker 3: lot of American TV, as most Australians do, and stereotypes

245
00:13:07,840 --> 00:13:10,840
Speaker 3: are littered throughout all of your media, like you are

246
00:13:10,840 --> 00:13:13,600
Speaker 3: in a certain group. You are emo, you're goth, you're

247
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:15,480
Speaker 3: in the rap group, you're an athlete, you're this and

248
00:13:15,520 --> 00:13:17,640
Speaker 3: that and so on and so forth. And I love

249
00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:21,520
Speaker 3: the fact that within those settings, having or identifying as

250
00:13:21,559 --> 00:13:24,880
Speaker 3: a member of the group gave you purpose, an identity,

251
00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,320
Speaker 3: and a way to behave and a way to connect

252
00:13:27,840 --> 00:13:31,040
Speaker 3: and being How do I explain it? Like, as a

253
00:13:31,040 --> 00:13:32,920
Speaker 3: young person, there's so much I knew I could be,

254
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:35,600
Speaker 3: but I didn't have the infrastructure to do more than

255
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,360
Speaker 3: what was sort of available to me. I acutely remember

256
00:13:38,360 --> 00:13:40,600
Speaker 3: in year nine I went to an all girls public

257
00:13:40,679 --> 00:13:43,960
Speaker 3: high school, and in year nine, everybody was wearing the

258
00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:48,560
Speaker 3: same white volley trainers, the same belt from Souprey, the

259
00:13:48,640 --> 00:13:52,200
Speaker 3: same tiny champion bag, the same skirt rolled up and

260
00:13:52,200 --> 00:13:55,720
Speaker 3: cut too short. There was no room to express yourself

261
00:13:55,760 --> 00:13:58,520
Speaker 3: outside of the norm because that was the norm. That

262
00:13:58,679 --> 00:14:01,680
Speaker 3: was the one stereotype, and if you were anything but

263
00:14:01,840 --> 00:14:04,600
Speaker 3: you are necessarily shunning yourself. And so I remember I

264
00:14:04,640 --> 00:14:07,080
Speaker 3: made a really close friend and we just decided that

265
00:14:07,120 --> 00:14:09,040
Speaker 3: between the two of us, we would just do the thing.

266
00:14:09,559 --> 00:14:11,760
Speaker 3: And so I latched quite heavily onto being like a

267
00:14:11,760 --> 00:14:14,959
Speaker 3: little pop punk, emo scene girl. And that was my

268
00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:18,720
Speaker 3: identity purely because I liked the music and I liked,

269
00:14:18,880 --> 00:14:23,120
Speaker 3: you know, the culture, the skateboards and the guitars and

270
00:14:23,160 --> 00:14:25,120
Speaker 3: the way you could do your makeup and your hair.

271
00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:28,400
Speaker 3: It was so exciting. And it was fine because once

272
00:14:28,440 --> 00:14:30,360
Speaker 3: you dressed a certain way, it was very easy for

273
00:14:30,360 --> 00:14:32,280
Speaker 3: people to identify with you. But what I didn't understand

274
00:14:32,320 --> 00:14:34,720
Speaker 3: is that how you dressed and what they identified with

275
00:14:34,840 --> 00:14:37,520
Speaker 3: could be negative. They're like, are you sad? I was

276
00:14:37,520 --> 00:14:40,520
Speaker 3: like no, I just like the way I look. They're like, oh,

277
00:14:41,080 --> 00:14:44,400
Speaker 3: it's really hard to identify with so for context, and

278
00:14:45,080 --> 00:14:47,320
Speaker 3: this might not mean anything to people who don't care

279
00:14:47,400 --> 00:14:51,120
Speaker 3: about astrology, but I am an Aquarius moon, I'm an

280
00:14:51,120 --> 00:14:56,400
Speaker 3: airy sun, so as girl Pisces rising, what that means

281
00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,160
Speaker 3: about me is that I have a preoccupation with being

282
00:14:59,200 --> 00:15:02,760
Speaker 3: and feeling you and special, Like my idea is the

283
00:15:02,760 --> 00:15:05,440
Speaker 3: first off, nobody gets me, Like how I see the

284
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:08,400
Speaker 3: world is so specific that you just wouldn't even get

285
00:15:08,440 --> 00:15:11,000
Speaker 3: if I explained it. Now. I can say that with

286
00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:14,960
Speaker 3: a level of self awareness, But as a tween, I

287
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:18,000
Speaker 3: was latching on to things that were so far outside

288
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:20,880
Speaker 3: of my norm because I guess in hindsight, I was

289
00:15:20,960 --> 00:15:24,600
Speaker 3: really afraid of being seen as other just naturally. So

290
00:15:24,600 --> 00:15:26,520
Speaker 3: if I put myself in positions where I was other

291
00:15:26,600 --> 00:15:30,000
Speaker 3: on purpose, then I was taking control of that narrative

292
00:15:30,280 --> 00:15:32,640
Speaker 3: because I knew exactly the connotations with what I was

293
00:15:32,720 --> 00:15:36,000
Speaker 3: choosing to identify as. I knew exactly the people that

294
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:39,120
Speaker 3: would identify with me, and I could sit quite heavily

295
00:15:39,160 --> 00:15:43,440
Speaker 3: into that that's so, and so that isn't it right hindsight?

296
00:15:43,800 --> 00:15:45,960
Speaker 3: And so that was fine until we get to about

297
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:50,080
Speaker 3: year ten or year eleven, and I'm exposing myself to

298
00:15:50,560 --> 00:15:53,400
Speaker 3: other young people who are from different areas of Sydney

299
00:15:53,680 --> 00:15:55,640
Speaker 3: because I went to a public girls high school that

300
00:15:55,680 --> 00:15:57,800
Speaker 3: was attached to public boys High school, which meant that

301
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,960
Speaker 3: we just kind of integrated within each other. Though it

302
00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,440
Speaker 3: was the Eastern Suburbs, which is quite stereotypically known as

303
00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:08,800
Speaker 3: an affluent area that's very white, it was multicultural in

304
00:16:08,840 --> 00:16:11,480
Speaker 3: its own way like I wasn't. I might have been

305
00:16:11,480 --> 00:16:13,720
Speaker 3: the only black girl or like one of two, but

306
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,200
Speaker 3: there were people of multiple ethnicities that it was expected

307
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:20,440
Speaker 3: that people had another culture, another language to speak, and

308
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:23,120
Speaker 3: that was all fine. It wasn't until I got until

309
00:16:23,360 --> 00:16:27,680
Speaker 3: exposing myself to other schools that I was like, wow,

310
00:16:28,560 --> 00:16:31,360
Speaker 3: you have quite stereotypical views of me and the people

311
00:16:31,400 --> 00:16:33,760
Speaker 3: that I hang out with, like the people who would

312
00:16:33,760 --> 00:16:36,120
Speaker 3: make the black joke and make the Asian joke and

313
00:16:36,160 --> 00:16:39,360
Speaker 3: be like, oh, that's so crazy. And so I thought, okay,

314
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:42,440
Speaker 3: like we're getting to a point where what my mum

315
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:46,080
Speaker 3: had and my family had kind of quote unquote warned

316
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:50,280
Speaker 3: me about was coming to fruition. And I remember there

317
00:16:50,320 --> 00:16:53,400
Speaker 3: was a stage in my early adolescent development that when

318
00:16:53,440 --> 00:16:56,320
Speaker 3: I was transitioning to high school. My mum was saying

319
00:16:56,320 --> 00:16:57,960
Speaker 3: to me, you know, people can be a little bit

320
00:16:58,160 --> 00:17:01,240
Speaker 3: you know, forward and a bit rude, and you might

321
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:04,080
Speaker 3: be put in situations where people ask you about what

322
00:17:04,119 --> 00:17:06,119
Speaker 3: you look like and where you're from. At this I

323
00:17:06,160 --> 00:17:09,919
Speaker 3: could not comprehend what do you mean, MUMY may get it, like,

324
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:14,800
Speaker 3: it's not like that anymore. People aren't gonna do that. Mum.

325
00:17:15,320 --> 00:17:17,480
Speaker 3: She's like, I know you might not see it now,

326
00:17:17,640 --> 00:17:20,119
Speaker 3: and maybe you might not see it ever, but just

327
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:22,639
Speaker 3: be mindful that you're in a position where you are

328
00:17:22,680 --> 00:17:25,560
Speaker 3: a bit different from the people around you. So I

329
00:17:25,640 --> 00:17:27,879
Speaker 3: doubled down. I'm like, I'm not different. I'm Australian, I

330
00:17:27,960 --> 00:17:31,800
Speaker 3: like vegiem. You don't know me. But yeah. So it

331
00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,480
Speaker 3: was this weird like parallel or like being no being

332
00:17:34,600 --> 00:17:37,679
Speaker 3: visibly different by choice, but also just being visibly different

333
00:17:37,920 --> 00:17:40,680
Speaker 3: just by nature that I couldn't that I was struggling

334
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:43,959
Speaker 3: to comprehend, you know, And so I just remember there

335
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,680
Speaker 3: was this one time. I always say there was one

336
00:17:45,720 --> 00:17:47,960
Speaker 3: time in about U ten and it was multicultural day

337
00:17:48,680 --> 00:17:52,240
Speaker 3: in my high school, and my teacher was asking me

338
00:17:52,400 --> 00:17:55,160
Speaker 3: what I'd be wearing from my culture in my head.

339
00:17:55,200 --> 00:17:57,080
Speaker 3: I am Australian, that's what I know.

340
00:17:57,920 --> 00:18:01,000
Speaker 2: I'm dressing as a piece of fairy bread.

341
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:04,800
Speaker 3: And also, it wasn't a mandatory exercise to dress as

342
00:18:04,880 --> 00:18:07,680
Speaker 3: somewhere from your culture, because many people didn't identify as

343
00:18:07,760 --> 00:18:10,359
Speaker 3: having a culture. So I said, I'm going to wear

344
00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,360
Speaker 3: these new American Paradisco pants. I got some new Doctor Martins.

345
00:18:13,200 --> 00:18:15,080
Speaker 3: This this plaid chat I got, I love it, whatever, whatever,

346
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:18,040
Speaker 3: And they were like, no, like from where you're from.

347
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:21,240
Speaker 3: And I was like, I just I'm not I'm not processing.

348
00:18:21,680 --> 00:18:23,880
Speaker 3: And so going back to my mom and trying to understand,

349
00:18:23,880 --> 00:18:25,960
Speaker 3: like what does she mean, what do they mean? I

350
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,359
Speaker 3: don't understand. I'm this, I'm that and whatever. And so

351
00:18:29,720 --> 00:18:31,960
Speaker 3: I think I've always to a point had some sort

352
00:18:31,960 --> 00:18:35,680
Speaker 3: of identity crisis, but it wasn't rooted in being culturally

353
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:39,800
Speaker 3: different until adulthood, where people were a lot more forthcoming,

354
00:18:40,080 --> 00:18:41,920
Speaker 3: you know, with what they felt about the way it looked.

355
00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,080
Speaker 3: But as a young person, I guess I was just

356
00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:47,600
Speaker 3: I was a bit of a sponge, like I was

357
00:18:47,680 --> 00:18:51,200
Speaker 3: ready to absorb and absorb and absorb and absorb and absorb.

358
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:55,679
Speaker 3: And I think I was happy for my my appearance

359
00:18:55,760 --> 00:18:58,520
Speaker 3: to do this speaking for me, because I didn't feel

360
00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:02,400
Speaker 3: like I was the most articulate person. I didn't feel

361
00:19:02,400 --> 00:19:04,400
Speaker 3: like I had the range to speak on a lot

362
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 3: of topics. I was never of course, I was in

363
00:19:06,720 --> 00:19:09,280
Speaker 3: gifted and talented classes, but when you're in high school,

364
00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,760
Speaker 3: so is everybody. It doesn't really mean that you have

365
00:19:12,160 --> 00:19:15,879
Speaker 3: any academic prowess, any ability to critically think. I almost

366
00:19:15,920 --> 00:19:18,119
Speaker 3: failed my fucking ata, which is that thing you do

367
00:19:18,359 --> 00:19:22,080
Speaker 3: at the end of yew twelve. I got like fifty six, so,

368
00:19:22,359 --> 00:19:25,679
Speaker 3: I mean, and I was creative, but I in so

369
00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:27,639
Speaker 3: many ways I was just a bit of a wayward child.

370
00:19:27,720 --> 00:19:31,000
Speaker 3: Like not bad, but not really that good either. I mean,

371
00:19:31,040 --> 00:19:32,720
Speaker 3: I was the type of person who was of course

372
00:19:32,760 --> 00:19:35,879
Speaker 3: I was integrating the people who like drank and did drugs,

373
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,760
Speaker 3: but I didn't do it, you know. So it was

374
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,080
Speaker 3: this constant dual identity of like being in it but

375
00:19:41,160 --> 00:19:43,440
Speaker 3: not amongst it, understanding it but not being able to

376
00:19:43,480 --> 00:19:46,880
Speaker 3: speak about it. You know. My culture, myself, my identity

377
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,200
Speaker 3: is so convoluted. I truly believe that if I wasn't,

378
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,560
Speaker 3: if I didn't end up in a position where I

379
00:19:52,600 --> 00:19:56,600
Speaker 3: was front facing and was expected or presumed to know things,

380
00:19:56,920 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 3: I would never have gotten to a point where I

381
00:19:59,040 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: appreciated knowing things and being able to articulate and whatever whatever.

382
00:20:03,640 --> 00:20:06,480
Speaker 3: That's why I can kind of sympathize with people who

383
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:10,000
Speaker 3: don't have incentive to also know things. Yeah, because the

384
00:20:10,040 --> 00:20:12,520
Speaker 3: world doesn't really ask it of you. Yeah, you're just

385
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:16,520
Speaker 3: allowed to exist and be. And then one day somebody says, hey, flex,

386
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:20,240
Speaker 3: so what do you think about cultural appropriation? And I say, oh,

387
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,879
Speaker 3: I don't care. And they say, oh, but I was

388
00:20:23,920 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: reading on the internet that you should ask you know,

389
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:29,639
Speaker 3: the black people around you and they'll tell you. And

390
00:20:29,680 --> 00:20:32,239
Speaker 3: I'm asking you and you don't know. Yeah, I don't know.

391
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:34,560
Speaker 1: So yeah, what can I tell you?

392
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,800
Speaker 3: I don't know. I'm sorry, it's not my interests. Oh

393
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:40,160
Speaker 3: my god, I'm not an activist.

394
00:20:41,040 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 2: I mean, that's already just that, you know, first ten

395
00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:45,920
Speaker 2: minutes of this conversation is or twenty minutes or whatever

396
00:20:45,920 --> 00:20:48,159
Speaker 2: it's been, has already been one of the sort of

397
00:20:48,320 --> 00:20:50,600
Speaker 2: deepest reflections that I've had in a long time in

398
00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 2: a conversation about the different layers of identity and narratives

399
00:20:54,600 --> 00:20:57,520
Speaker 2: and culture and the intersection of all the facets of

400
00:20:57,520 --> 00:21:01,400
Speaker 2: your identity that aren't all that they're not always ethnicity base,

401
00:21:01,560 --> 00:21:04,880
Speaker 2: Like most teenagers and young people go through a loss

402
00:21:05,040 --> 00:21:07,040
Speaker 2: and that wayward stage of who.

403
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:07,480
Speaker 1: Am I am? I?

404
00:21:07,520 --> 00:21:07,680
Speaker 3: Loud?

405
00:21:07,720 --> 00:21:08,280
Speaker 1: Am I? Quiet?

406
00:21:08,320 --> 00:21:10,520
Speaker 2: Am I an email? Am I like the soprey gal

407
00:21:10,600 --> 00:21:13,919
Speaker 2: am I? Eastern suburbs or Western suburbs? And You're not

408
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,160
Speaker 2: the first person, by any means who I've spoken to recently.

409
00:21:17,320 --> 00:21:20,400
Speaker 2: In fact, our last guest was an Indigenous Australian Olympian

410
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:23,480
Speaker 2: and I sort of expected this narrative to come out

411
00:21:23,480 --> 00:21:25,080
Speaker 2: of I was bullied when I was younger, you know,

412
00:21:25,160 --> 00:21:28,639
Speaker 2: racism and questions, and she basically didn't even realize she

413
00:21:28,680 --> 00:21:31,200
Speaker 2: was Aboriginal until she was in high school. And I,

414
00:21:31,560 --> 00:21:33,640
Speaker 2: you know, it was like, oh, okay, well I've left

415
00:21:33,680 --> 00:21:35,919
Speaker 2: all this time for this particular narrative that we're going

416
00:21:35,960 --> 00:21:39,720
Speaker 2: to talk about. But I loved reading in interviews that

417
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:42,800
Speaker 2: you've done before that where are you from? In high school?

418
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:45,080
Speaker 2: Was more like what part of Sydney are you from?

419
00:21:45,240 --> 00:21:48,640
Speaker 2: Absolutely that it was not you know, you haven't had

420
00:21:48,680 --> 00:21:51,719
Speaker 2: this narrative everyone's abscribing to you of what was it

421
00:21:51,760 --> 00:21:54,040
Speaker 2: like being black growing up in Australia, Like that was

422
00:21:54,080 --> 00:21:56,440
Speaker 2: probably not the biggest angst that you were necessarily going

423
00:21:56,480 --> 00:21:59,240
Speaker 2: through as a teenage girl, being like, it's all the

424
00:21:59,280 --> 00:22:01,800
Speaker 2: other things that you're worried about, That's exactly it.

425
00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:04,760
Speaker 3: And I feel as though it's the reason why I

426
00:22:04,920 --> 00:22:09,119
Speaker 3: fought against leaning into certain conversations, because they were all

427
00:22:09,359 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 3: sort of based on a foundation of a really specific

428
00:22:12,080 --> 00:22:15,199
Speaker 3: narrative where you know, it must have been hard, you

429
00:22:15,280 --> 00:22:18,240
Speaker 3: must have struggled to assimilate. You know, it must have

430
00:22:18,280 --> 00:22:22,200
Speaker 3: been difficult. It's like, no, it wasn't, like it wasn't.

431
00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:25,600
Speaker 3: And I also think I carried this at naivety about

432
00:22:26,040 --> 00:22:29,040
Speaker 3: the way black people might have been perceived that when

433
00:22:29,040 --> 00:22:31,760
Speaker 3: people were asking questions or being a bit offensive, I

434
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:34,720
Speaker 3: wasn't processing, you know, I was like, surely, I mean,

435
00:22:34,960 --> 00:22:37,120
Speaker 3: maybe they said that I look like a monkey, because

436
00:22:37,160 --> 00:22:39,560
Speaker 3: maybe I do. Maybe it's not a racial thing. You know,

437
00:22:39,640 --> 00:22:42,520
Speaker 3: it's like, that's the way your mind works because you're

438
00:22:42,560 --> 00:22:45,720
Speaker 3: not exposed to these things. And so as you begin

439
00:22:45,800 --> 00:22:49,040
Speaker 3: to develop your understanding of the way identity is so pervasive,

440
00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,760
Speaker 3: and of the way that people subconsciously attribute certain characteristics

441
00:22:52,760 --> 00:22:55,719
Speaker 3: and personalities to you purely because of the way you

442
00:22:55,760 --> 00:23:00,520
Speaker 3: appear to them, it becomes a way more nuanced conversation

443
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:05,399
Speaker 3: That's why these days I worry about the way people

444
00:23:05,400 --> 00:23:10,000
Speaker 3: are introduced to having these conversations because there is no

445
00:23:10,119 --> 00:23:15,680
Speaker 3: one homogeneous Black experience. There's barely a homogenous Black Australian experience,

446
00:23:16,119 --> 00:23:18,639
Speaker 3: even if we were to dwindle it down to the

447
00:23:18,680 --> 00:23:24,119
Speaker 3: Black Australian heterosexual female experience. Now it's not homogeneous. And

448
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:27,280
Speaker 3: so when these conversations happen and people are said, you know,

449
00:23:27,359 --> 00:23:30,119
Speaker 3: to quite literally do this. This is how you should

450
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:32,320
Speaker 3: show your support, This is how you should show your interest,

451
00:23:32,400 --> 00:23:34,720
Speaker 3: this is what you should do in order to be

452
00:23:34,840 --> 00:23:38,439
Speaker 3: a good ally or a well versed person, or you know,

453
00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:43,040
Speaker 3: an emotionally aware person. And suddenly it's not being received

454
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,280
Speaker 3: by the people that you're meant to be doing it for.

455
00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:48,240
Speaker 3: Then you're in this tricky territory of being like, well wait,

456
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:50,920
Speaker 3: hold on, I don't even understand the problem. Yes, wait,

457
00:23:51,040 --> 00:23:55,399
Speaker 3: I like, what do they actually go through? And like, hah, totally,

458
00:23:55,440 --> 00:23:57,600
Speaker 3: I don't think I get it. And I think I

459
00:23:57,640 --> 00:23:59,920
Speaker 3: had a similar conversation a few weeks ago. I think

460
00:23:59,920 --> 00:24:03,080
Speaker 3: I know where somebody has said to me. You know,

461
00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,920
Speaker 3: I find it hard to comprehend that black people are

462
00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:12,119
Speaker 3: so you know, marginalized or they're like their thought of

463
00:24:12,200 --> 00:24:14,960
Speaker 3: as being less than in any circumstance, because all the

464
00:24:15,000 --> 00:24:18,040
Speaker 3: black people that I'm aware of are exposed to our

465
00:24:18,200 --> 00:24:23,879
Speaker 3: celebrities are affluent, rich people with power, So don't I

466
00:24:23,920 --> 00:24:26,640
Speaker 3: can't fathom that the same people and now talking about

467
00:24:26,680 --> 00:24:28,760
Speaker 3: how oppressed they are. And I was like, wow, this

468
00:24:28,800 --> 00:24:31,159
Speaker 3: is part of the issue. If your only exposure to

469
00:24:31,200 --> 00:24:34,520
Speaker 3: a certain type of person is through a very specific lens,

470
00:24:34,800 --> 00:24:37,199
Speaker 3: then how can you fathom you should be able to

471
00:24:37,280 --> 00:24:40,160
Speaker 3: I think that's a very generic skill that most people

472
00:24:40,200 --> 00:24:43,199
Speaker 3: should be able to do, to perceive things that they

473
00:24:43,280 --> 00:24:46,960
Speaker 3: can't actually taste, sea, feeling, touch. Yeah, and if you're

474
00:24:46,960 --> 00:24:49,720
Speaker 3: not an intuitive person, maybe that's not something that's very

475
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:52,280
Speaker 3: easy for you to do. But for the rest of us,

476
00:24:52,720 --> 00:24:55,159
Speaker 3: like I can quite easily sympathize to what it is

477
00:24:55,200 --> 00:24:58,760
Speaker 3: to be a white man without being one. It's very easy.

478
00:24:58,920 --> 00:24:59,879
Speaker 3: It seems a bit difficult.

479
00:25:01,680 --> 00:25:03,920
Speaker 2: But I also think it's Yeah, it's so interesting how

480
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 2: so much of the dialogue has been assuming that experiences

481
00:25:06,760 --> 00:25:09,199
Speaker 2: are really homogeneous, and then you actually get into a

482
00:25:09,200 --> 00:25:12,199
Speaker 2: conversation and most of the things you assume are going

483
00:25:12,240 --> 00:25:15,360
Speaker 2: to be the things you talk about aren't, And actually,

484
00:25:15,640 --> 00:25:18,000
Speaker 2: for a lot of people, their ethnicity is such a

485
00:25:18,040 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 2: small I mean, it's been a big part of their experience,

486
00:25:21,359 --> 00:25:23,199
Speaker 2: and it's been a big part of what other people

487
00:25:23,240 --> 00:25:25,199
Speaker 2: project onto them as part of their identity, but for

488
00:25:25,280 --> 00:25:28,119
Speaker 2: them personally, they're like, actually, my ethnicity is not the

489
00:25:28,119 --> 00:25:30,720
Speaker 2: biggest thing. It's not my biggest feature. Like, I don't

490
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:33,040
Speaker 2: know why you all insist on making the conversation about

491
00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,399
Speaker 2: that when like even you know, Teliko I had on

492
00:25:36,760 --> 00:25:39,919
Speaker 2: last week and I really wanted to cover a lot

493
00:25:39,960 --> 00:25:42,720
Speaker 2: about Indigenous Australia and her experience in the community, because

494
00:25:42,760 --> 00:25:45,879
Speaker 2: I wanted to make the episode an opportunity for education

495
00:25:45,960 --> 00:25:48,280
Speaker 2: for people who hadn't had as much exposure to the

496
00:25:48,280 --> 00:25:50,520
Speaker 2: Aboriginal community or what her journey might have been like.

497
00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:52,439
Speaker 2: And she was sort of like, it's really not a

498
00:25:52,440 --> 00:25:55,440
Speaker 2: big part of my journey, like that, it's a huge

499
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:56,439
Speaker 2: part of my identity.

500
00:25:56,720 --> 00:25:58,160
Speaker 1: I'm really really proud of it.

501
00:25:58,280 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: I have experienced good and bad from it, but I

502
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:03,359
Speaker 2: also am an athlete. I went to the Olympics. Like

503
00:26:03,440 --> 00:26:04,800
Speaker 2: that's I don't see.

504
00:26:04,600 --> 00:26:07,000
Speaker 3: It, absolutely I could imagine.

505
00:26:06,560 --> 00:26:09,199
Speaker 2: And so on that note about the other facets of

506
00:26:09,240 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 2: our identity, I think the other thing that's been really

507
00:26:12,560 --> 00:26:16,200
Speaker 2: interesting about knowing you is you come across now as

508
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,600
Speaker 2: so clear on your thoughts and so self aware with

509
00:26:19,720 --> 00:26:22,720
Speaker 2: hindsight on all those different stages of your journey and

510
00:26:22,800 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 2: now occupy such a unique part of society. But I

511
00:26:25,760 --> 00:26:29,360
Speaker 2: love that you're aware that you you've found your right

512
00:26:29,440 --> 00:26:32,840
Speaker 2: balance between conformity and uniqueness, and you see it exactly

513
00:26:32,880 --> 00:26:35,679
Speaker 2: where it's comfortable for you. But I love also that

514
00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:38,960
Speaker 2: to remind everyone that even the most sure of people

515
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,760
Speaker 2: and even the most different and taboo breaking of people,

516
00:26:42,200 --> 00:26:44,879
Speaker 2: you have to sort of start somewhere. You know, you

517
00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:48,120
Speaker 2: started quite conventional, like gas reading. You worked at Zoos

518
00:26:48,119 --> 00:26:50,800
Speaker 2: Shoes in twenty twelve in PR and I'm like, literally

519
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:52,640
Speaker 2: was it an office?

520
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:57,720
Speaker 3: Like I don't in at one point I was at,

521
00:26:58,000 --> 00:26:59,760
Speaker 3: you know that girl who went to UNI in he

522
00:27:00,280 --> 00:27:02,240
Speaker 3: a full face of makeup because I wanted to present

523
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:03,800
Speaker 3: the job that I wanted.

524
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:07,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, Like I was like, even to McLay College.

525
00:27:07,040 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 2: I mean, we've had a McClay graduate on a couple

526
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,000
Speaker 2: of weeks ago, and I'm like, I just can't imagine

527
00:27:12,040 --> 00:27:14,480
Speaker 2: you now having gone through all those phases. But you

528
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,400
Speaker 2: have to, so of course tell us about coming into

529
00:27:17,440 --> 00:27:19,880
Speaker 2: your full voice and those early days when you couldn't

530
00:27:19,880 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 2: be as different as you wanted to be and it

531
00:27:21,680 --> 00:27:23,880
Speaker 2: wouldn't have been as well received. And also you didn't

532
00:27:23,880 --> 00:27:27,360
Speaker 2: necessarily know what your voice was then. So was it

533
00:27:27,520 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: as you went out of PR and then into DJing

534
00:27:30,080 --> 00:27:32,040
Speaker 2: that that happened or was it before?

535
00:27:32,280 --> 00:27:33,800
Speaker 1: Like when did that all unravel?

536
00:27:34,359 --> 00:27:38,240
Speaker 3: Yeah? So I can recall, perhaps, you know, eleven year,

537
00:27:38,240 --> 00:27:42,200
Speaker 3: eleven year, twelve and graduating high school, that in itself

538
00:27:42,440 --> 00:27:47,760
Speaker 3: was a very accelerated identity evolution because suddenly I was

539
00:27:47,800 --> 00:27:50,160
Speaker 3: becoming more and more aware of how I was being perceived.

540
00:27:50,240 --> 00:27:54,000
Speaker 3: I wasn't liking it. I didn't know the right words

541
00:27:54,080 --> 00:27:56,200
Speaker 3: or phrases to attribute to what I was feeling or

542
00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:58,280
Speaker 3: what was being done to me. Yeah, of course people

543
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:01,200
Speaker 3: aren't racist, but can they say they didn't expect me

544
00:28:01,240 --> 00:28:03,679
Speaker 3: to speak English? Like? Is that not offensive? Am I

545
00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:08,280
Speaker 3: being too? So it was just recalibration. And I guess

546
00:28:08,680 --> 00:28:13,320
Speaker 3: because growing up in the Eastern suburbs and then you know,

547
00:28:13,359 --> 00:28:15,960
Speaker 3: having the majority of the black community living in the

548
00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,040
Speaker 3: Western suburbs, my only kind of access to them was

549
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:21,680
Speaker 3: through church, and I stopped going to church as like

550
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:23,280
Speaker 3: a thirteen fourteen year old because I was like, I

551
00:28:23,320 --> 00:28:27,040
Speaker 3: don't like love spirituality. I don't know if I can

552
00:28:27,119 --> 00:28:28,040
Speaker 3: do the church thing.

553
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:30,280
Speaker 2: I can imagine you're saying it exactly like that in

554
00:28:30,320 --> 00:28:32,199
Speaker 2: your own mind. I'm not sure I can do this

555
00:28:32,320 --> 00:28:33,119
Speaker 2: church thing anymore.

556
00:28:33,160 --> 00:28:34,639
Speaker 1: Guys, Yeah, it's not for me.

557
00:28:35,200 --> 00:28:38,880
Speaker 3: So as I was beginning to grow older and I

558
00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 3: understand that my identity was inherently black and African, but

559
00:28:42,920 --> 00:28:46,320
Speaker 3: not having a varied access point or a touch point

560
00:28:46,320 --> 00:28:48,720
Speaker 3: to experience that I had. My mum's very warped sense

561
00:28:48,720 --> 00:28:52,600
Speaker 3: of view, not warped, but walked from mine because she

562
00:28:52,640 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 3: came here thirty something years ago, but she had to

563
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,200
Speaker 3: be in a refugee detention center, like she had to

564
00:28:57,520 --> 00:29:00,400
Speaker 3: really work her way up to be seen as, you know,

565
00:29:00,640 --> 00:29:02,440
Speaker 3: an equal in a lot of spaces. And then my

566
00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:06,640
Speaker 3: brothers being two African men, you know, one being born

567
00:29:06,640 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 3: here but one being born in Ghana, also having first

568
00:29:09,280 --> 00:29:11,440
Speaker 3: hand access to what it's like to be seen as others,

569
00:29:11,520 --> 00:29:14,120
Speaker 3: because the experience of black men, I'm sure in a

570
00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:16,560
Speaker 3: lot of cases is a bit more volatile than the

571
00:29:16,600 --> 00:29:19,280
Speaker 3: experience of the black women. You know, the stereotyped black

572
00:29:19,320 --> 00:29:24,800
Speaker 3: women can of course be dangerous, but they're more so petty,

573
00:29:25,120 --> 00:29:28,000
Speaker 3: whereas the ones to black men really remove them from

574
00:29:28,040 --> 00:29:30,880
Speaker 3: certain environments because oh no, you might rub me, you

575
00:29:30,960 --> 00:29:32,840
Speaker 3: might steal something from me, might write me. It's just

576
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:36,680
Speaker 3: too much. So it was, yeah, an accelerated part of

577
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,320
Speaker 3: my learning where I did this thing where I kind

578
00:29:40,360 --> 00:29:44,080
Speaker 3: of shed my skin in the sense that I took

579
00:29:44,160 --> 00:29:48,040
Speaker 3: away all the stuff that I was trying to use

580
00:29:48,440 --> 00:29:52,280
Speaker 3: as a buffer to the real mean. So that means

581
00:29:52,320 --> 00:29:55,840
Speaker 3: that I had to stop dressing so overtly emo because

582
00:29:55,840 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 3: it really wasn't my identity and I was overenthusing. So

583
00:30:00,800 --> 00:30:02,600
Speaker 3: we had to stop with the platform, stop with the

584
00:30:02,640 --> 00:30:04,840
Speaker 3: black lipstick, stop with a black eyeline, and stop with

585
00:30:04,840 --> 00:30:07,520
Speaker 3: the scene hand all of it. Right. So when I

586
00:30:07,600 --> 00:30:10,800
Speaker 3: took that part off, I was left with a blank canvas,

587
00:30:10,840 --> 00:30:12,840
Speaker 3: and I thought, this is a good opportunity to see

588
00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:17,720
Speaker 3: that if I presented as someone who was more conventionally conventional,

589
00:30:18,320 --> 00:30:21,920
Speaker 3: would that change my experience? And so I just started

590
00:30:22,040 --> 00:30:27,080
Speaker 3: dressing normal as an Aquarius moon would. So that meant,

591
00:30:27,200 --> 00:30:31,840
Speaker 3: you know, hairstyled every day, beautiful extensions in full face

592
00:30:31,840 --> 00:30:35,240
Speaker 3: and makeup, you know, full outfit, heels, handbag clack clack

593
00:30:35,280 --> 00:30:38,640
Speaker 3: clack clack, black making a point, making a scene. Oh,

594
00:30:38,680 --> 00:30:40,720
Speaker 3: I could never wear jeans, I could never wear a

595
00:30:40,760 --> 00:30:43,600
Speaker 3: T shirt. I'm just too business focused for that.

596
00:30:43,720 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 1: I'm so professional.

597
00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:48,720
Speaker 3: Is I'm just too professional to ever be comfortable. That's

598
00:30:48,720 --> 00:30:52,320
Speaker 3: not in my point of thinking. Obviously not obviously not

599
00:30:52,840 --> 00:30:57,360
Speaker 3: so spending about eighteen to i'd say twenty being that person,

600
00:30:57,480 --> 00:31:01,160
Speaker 3: and also now seeing that the I was presenting, even

601
00:31:01,200 --> 00:31:03,959
Speaker 3: though I thought it was bland and blank, was also

602
00:31:04,240 --> 00:31:07,960
Speaker 3: projecting an identity. You know, it was maybe segregating me

603
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:11,920
Speaker 3: from feeling like I was approachable or personable, because it

604
00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,480
Speaker 3: wasn't like walking into a UNI and being like clacklack, like,

605
00:31:15,520 --> 00:31:19,720
Speaker 3: hey everyone, I put my hand back down. It's not accessible.

606
00:31:20,120 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 3: And so again I moved out of that space. And

607
00:31:23,040 --> 00:31:26,400
Speaker 3: I remember being in PR and I could feel like

608
00:31:26,480 --> 00:31:29,880
Speaker 3: I was going to push myself into hyper identifying as

609
00:31:30,160 --> 00:31:33,200
Speaker 3: the PR girl and wearing what they wore and speaking

610
00:31:33,240 --> 00:31:36,160
Speaker 3: how they spoke and thinking what they thought, because I

611
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:40,440
Speaker 3: didn't have space and time to step away and identify, well,

612
00:31:40,800 --> 00:31:42,800
Speaker 3: if I don't want to be seen as these people,

613
00:31:42,840 --> 00:31:45,840
Speaker 3: what am I comfortable being seen as? Because I still

614
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:47,600
Speaker 3: was in a space where I could show my natural hair,

615
00:31:47,880 --> 00:31:49,800
Speaker 3: people would know I was black. I couldn't do that

616
00:31:49,960 --> 00:31:57,160
Speaker 3: right completely visible. You know, I certainly can't go to

617
00:31:57,200 --> 00:31:59,320
Speaker 3: Garner and see my extent of family. People will know

618
00:31:59,360 --> 00:32:01,160
Speaker 3: that I'm not do you know?

619
00:32:01,320 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 1: That is so interesting.

620
00:32:02,600 --> 00:32:05,120
Speaker 2: I've had that exact same thing where I went through

621
00:32:05,120 --> 00:32:08,280
Speaker 2: a phase of like complete denial of being Asian like

622
00:32:09,120 --> 00:32:09,360
Speaker 2: and I.

623
00:32:09,920 --> 00:32:12,240
Speaker 1: Don't know what part of my brain was, like it's

624
00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:14,800
Speaker 1: it's not off it it makes sense. It's a secret

625
00:32:15,040 --> 00:32:15,600
Speaker 1: like no.

626
00:32:15,480 --> 00:32:21,160
Speaker 3: One And it's funny to laugh about now because it's

627
00:32:21,160 --> 00:32:23,840
Speaker 3: so ludicrous, But as you just said, it's not an

628
00:32:23,960 --> 00:32:28,080
Speaker 3: uncommon thing. So people who are visibly different to do.

629
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,360
Speaker 3: And so I had to think to myself, well, if

630
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:32,960
Speaker 3: I'm so help bent on not being seen as that person,

631
00:32:33,240 --> 00:32:35,959
Speaker 3: and then who was this person? What can we settle

632
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,840
Speaker 3: back into. Interestingly enough, at the time, I was in

633
00:32:39,960 --> 00:32:42,960
Speaker 3: PR and I was just in a weird spot where

634
00:32:43,640 --> 00:32:46,360
Speaker 3: I was giving too much of myself to a job

635
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:48,560
Speaker 3: and I was tying all of my self worth into

636
00:32:48,600 --> 00:32:51,040
Speaker 3: my career. And because it's not something that I was

637
00:32:51,080 --> 00:32:54,160
Speaker 3: really interested in and it's something that really required everything

638
00:32:54,160 --> 00:32:56,720
Speaker 3: that you had, I just felt so depleted all the time,

639
00:32:57,160 --> 00:32:59,360
Speaker 3: and I thought maybe I wouldn't feel depleted if I

640
00:32:59,400 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 3: had any anything else going for me, any interest, any hobbies,

641
00:33:02,800 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 3: any way to express myself. And at the time, you know,

642
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,320
Speaker 3: being twenty, all of my friends were still going out

643
00:33:08,320 --> 00:33:10,720
Speaker 3: getting kissed or whatever. But I did the binge drinking

644
00:33:10,720 --> 00:33:13,040
Speaker 3: thing from fifteen to eighteen, but didn't ever learn how

645
00:33:13,040 --> 00:33:15,680
Speaker 3: to socially drink. So I was going out, not drinking,

646
00:33:15,720 --> 00:33:18,480
Speaker 3: being really sober, being like, fuck, this is so boring,

647
00:33:19,800 --> 00:33:22,160
Speaker 3: and I felt I love the environment, I love getting

648
00:33:22,240 --> 00:33:26,000
Speaker 3: dressed up, I love having access to this, but like,

649
00:33:26,080 --> 00:33:28,200
Speaker 3: I want to be here with the purpose. I would

650
00:33:28,240 --> 00:33:30,800
Speaker 3: love to like be a door girl, like get paid,

651
00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,320
Speaker 3: hang out whatever. So that's what I did, right, And

652
00:33:34,440 --> 00:33:38,880
Speaker 3: the promoters that I met ran this club night that

653
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,360
Speaker 3: was called Side Changed, and it was not a normal

654
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:43,640
Speaker 3: club night, because that's not where an Aquarius mood would

655
00:33:43,640 --> 00:33:46,280
Speaker 3: want to go to. It was a club night that

656
00:33:46,440 --> 00:33:49,840
Speaker 3: was made for and by Internet kids. And if you

657
00:33:49,880 --> 00:33:53,880
Speaker 3: can imagine, it's twenty twelve, twenty eleven, and so it's

658
00:33:53,880 --> 00:33:57,440
Speaker 3: a time where you know, dressing like the internet was bit.

659
00:33:57,560 --> 00:34:01,200
Speaker 3: We were wearing like cool platform boots and holog and you.

660
00:34:01,160 --> 00:34:04,719
Speaker 1: Know, yeah, oh my god, I forgot about remember.

661
00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,520
Speaker 3: And like having weird hair and just being a little

662
00:34:07,560 --> 00:34:10,040
Speaker 3: bit weird, you know, but it was expected to see

663
00:34:10,040 --> 00:34:11,480
Speaker 3: it on the internet, but we were bringing it to

664
00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,880
Speaker 3: a real life space. And then suddenly, before I knew it,

665
00:34:14,920 --> 00:34:17,680
Speaker 3: I was wrapped up in being this club kid, you know,

666
00:34:17,880 --> 00:34:22,800
Speaker 3: dressing skin, skin heels, heels, platform boots, like crazy makeup,

667
00:34:22,880 --> 00:34:28,600
Speaker 3: crazy hair, I'm just crazy, unique girl. And again, before

668
00:34:28,640 --> 00:34:31,000
Speaker 3: I knew I was just settling into another identity because

669
00:34:31,040 --> 00:34:32,600
Speaker 3: I just didn't know who I was or how I

670
00:34:32,640 --> 00:34:36,080
Speaker 3: wanted to be perceived. And at the time, identifying or

671
00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,719
Speaker 3: looking as I was a club kid was very beneficial.

672
00:34:39,239 --> 00:34:42,400
Speaker 3: We were the coolest, we were the most connected.

673
00:34:43,080 --> 00:34:46,960
Speaker 2: We hadous VIPs who goes straight to the front of

674
00:34:47,000 --> 00:34:51,759
Speaker 2: the line. Legitimately, I remember those days where I was like,

675
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,360
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna wear my belt as a skirt because

676
00:34:55,040 --> 00:34:56,560
Speaker 2: I will get in and I'll just be a club

677
00:34:56,640 --> 00:34:57,879
Speaker 2: right and not be a maker.

678
00:34:58,840 --> 00:35:01,520
Speaker 3: And it was such a time. And so it was

679
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:05,640
Speaker 3: in that period where I then started DJing and then

680
00:35:05,760 --> 00:35:08,640
Speaker 3: transitioned from you know, a girl who DJ to being

681
00:35:08,640 --> 00:35:12,799
Speaker 3: a full time DJ. And then you grow a little

682
00:35:12,800 --> 00:35:14,759
Speaker 3: bit older and suddenly realize you just don't want to

683
00:35:14,760 --> 00:35:18,759
Speaker 3: be like dressing up like a literal like whatever we

684
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:21,759
Speaker 3: looked like anymore. It just was getting to a point

685
00:35:21,760 --> 00:35:25,000
Speaker 3: where I was having to wear a quote unquote normal

686
00:35:25,040 --> 00:35:28,040
Speaker 3: outfit out of the house and pack a separate change

687
00:35:28,040 --> 00:35:29,600
Speaker 3: of clothes in my bag because I didn't want to

688
00:35:29,600 --> 00:35:32,280
Speaker 3: get abused on the trainer in the uber to the club,

689
00:35:32,360 --> 00:35:36,160
Speaker 3: and it was all too much and so I hadn't.

690
00:35:36,400 --> 00:35:38,400
Speaker 3: It was an epiphany, but kind of a waking up

691
00:35:38,440 --> 00:35:40,680
Speaker 3: moment where it always happened to when I look at

692
00:35:40,680 --> 00:35:43,040
Speaker 3: my wardrobe and feel like it doesn't reflect me because

693
00:35:43,080 --> 00:35:45,759
Speaker 3: I've spent all this money and time really trying to

694
00:35:45,760 --> 00:35:50,080
Speaker 3: be somebody different, and it was it kind of coincided

695
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 3: with being a DJ and getting pr for that, and

696
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:54,800
Speaker 3: also being like, fuck, I just don't want to be

697
00:35:54,840 --> 00:35:57,120
Speaker 3: seen as a club kid, club kid, club kid, because

698
00:35:57,120 --> 00:36:00,000
Speaker 3: then it's like club kid ethics were thrown onto me

699
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,239
Speaker 3: in club kid conversations and I didn't know or care

700
00:36:02,280 --> 00:36:05,240
Speaker 3: about them, And so I made a kind of vow

701
00:36:05,400 --> 00:36:09,080
Speaker 3: to just be because I was finally in a position

702
00:36:09,360 --> 00:36:13,239
Speaker 3: where being a DJ, you can imagine like you're kind

703
00:36:13,239 --> 00:36:16,160
Speaker 3: of given. How do I explain it? It's just a

704
00:36:16,160 --> 00:36:20,000
Speaker 3: cloudy kind of job. People assume you're like, I'm attle, smart,

705
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:23,440
Speaker 3: like aware, like you're creative, you're all of these things.

706
00:36:23,800 --> 00:36:26,319
Speaker 3: And so I thought, finally in a position where how

707
00:36:26,360 --> 00:36:28,960
Speaker 3: I'm being perceived matches how I feel about myself, so

708
00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:31,640
Speaker 3: it's up to me to sort of do the extra groundwork.

709
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,680
Speaker 3: And so dressing how I felt and wearing what I

710
00:36:34,719 --> 00:36:36,960
Speaker 3: wanted and speaking what I felt were all part of

711
00:36:36,960 --> 00:36:40,760
Speaker 3: that process. You could only do so much intentionally, because

712
00:36:41,200 --> 00:36:43,839
Speaker 3: I mean, you you have to in some cases change

713
00:36:43,880 --> 00:36:46,800
Speaker 3: the way you operate overnight for you to really do it. Yeah,

714
00:36:46,840 --> 00:36:49,360
Speaker 3: and so I didn't know what I was doing, but

715
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: I just definitely knew that there was a way that

716
00:36:51,200 --> 00:36:53,359
Speaker 3: I wanted to be perceived and it had to match

717
00:36:53,400 --> 00:36:56,040
Speaker 3: to what I felt and to every conversation. I had

718
00:36:56,080 --> 00:36:59,040
Speaker 3: to get away from being that charming ares who's just

719
00:36:59,160 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 3: down floor a chat and it's always here to tell

720
00:37:01,400 --> 00:37:03,920
Speaker 3: the story and just say how do I feel like

721
00:37:03,920 --> 00:37:08,480
Speaker 3: I want to operate in this space what feels most aligned?

722
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,799
Speaker 3: And I think that it was easy for me to

723
00:37:11,880 --> 00:37:14,680
Speaker 3: do that and to settle into being myself because I

724
00:37:14,719 --> 00:37:17,960
Speaker 3: was in a position in my life where I was

725
00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:21,040
Speaker 3: finally given room to yeah, like, wow, if you're the

726
00:37:21,120 --> 00:37:24,200
Speaker 3: DJ It means that you have the answers, You've moved

727
00:37:24,200 --> 00:37:27,160
Speaker 3: from a traditional job to an unconventional job. You live

728
00:37:27,160 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 3: in your own apartment, you do what you want, You've

729
00:37:29,200 --> 00:37:31,840
Speaker 3: made money from being yourself. You must have the vision,

730
00:37:31,960 --> 00:37:34,719
Speaker 3: you've got you've got it all. And I didn't, but

731
00:37:34,800 --> 00:37:38,200
Speaker 3: now suddenly I had space where I could figure it out,

732
00:37:38,640 --> 00:37:41,799
Speaker 3: you know, and so it all had to be super conscious.

733
00:37:41,840 --> 00:37:45,120
Speaker 3: And I remember there was this time when I was eighteen, right,

734
00:37:45,440 --> 00:37:48,360
Speaker 3: and I had just was one year out of high school,

735
00:37:48,640 --> 00:37:50,800
Speaker 3: and I remember I was going to Tafe to study

736
00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:53,960
Speaker 3: fashion business, just because I thought that if you liked clothes,

737
00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,960
Speaker 3: you should work in fashion. So I would go to

738
00:37:57,000 --> 00:37:59,120
Speaker 3: Tafe like every other day and not listen and not

739
00:37:59,160 --> 00:38:02,520
Speaker 3: apply myself, just fuck around. And there was one time

740
00:38:02,560 --> 00:38:04,680
Speaker 3: where I thought, okay, I have assessments, and shit, I

741
00:38:04,680 --> 00:38:08,040
Speaker 3: should just go to the library, role play academia and

742
00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:10,480
Speaker 3: then I'll get some work done. Didn't happen. Took a

743
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:14,080
Speaker 3: phone call, was walking up and down the library. What

744
00:38:14,120 --> 00:38:16,200
Speaker 3: do you call them aisles? I think asles, I guess so.

745
00:38:16,719 --> 00:38:19,839
Speaker 3: And I remember it sort of like randomly stopping in

746
00:38:19,880 --> 00:38:22,920
Speaker 3: the self development area because the conversation had got into

747
00:38:22,920 --> 00:38:24,680
Speaker 3: a juicy point where I couldn't walk and talk was

748
00:38:24,680 --> 00:38:25,560
Speaker 3: far too complicated.

749
00:38:25,640 --> 00:38:27,040
Speaker 1: Oh my god, yeah, absolutely, I know.

750
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:29,080
Speaker 2: It hits like this critical point where you're like, I

751
00:38:29,080 --> 00:38:30,400
Speaker 2: can't use my energy on my legs.

752
00:38:30,480 --> 00:38:33,600
Speaker 3: No, I must listen. And I remember running my fingers

753
00:38:33,640 --> 00:38:35,640
Speaker 3: through the spines of the book and then picking up

754
00:38:35,840 --> 00:38:38,040
Speaker 3: just a random blue one that I was flipping through

755
00:38:38,160 --> 00:38:40,200
Speaker 3: to do something with my hands as I was listening,

756
00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:42,560
Speaker 3: because it was a listening conversation for me, not a

757
00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:45,879
Speaker 3: speaking one. I needed something to keep me engaged. And

758
00:38:46,680 --> 00:38:48,800
Speaker 3: by the end of the conversation, I was like walking

759
00:38:48,800 --> 00:38:50,719
Speaker 3: out of the library and just took this book with me.

760
00:38:51,040 --> 00:38:54,520
Speaker 3: Didn't even think about it, really, just took it. Nothing beaped,

761
00:38:54,560 --> 00:38:56,120
Speaker 3: which is odd, but you know what.

762
00:38:56,120 --> 00:38:59,360
Speaker 1: It is, because it's an honor system, babe.

763
00:38:59,400 --> 00:39:02,920
Speaker 3: I mean, I get on the train and the book

764
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,920
Speaker 3: is like it's like how to understand people by understanding

765
00:39:05,960 --> 00:39:10,080
Speaker 3: yourself a book by Florence Littauer or something right, And

766
00:39:10,080 --> 00:39:12,480
Speaker 3: it was a book all about personality archetypes in the

767
00:39:12,520 --> 00:39:15,880
Speaker 3: way that every individual person, as unique as they may be,

768
00:39:16,320 --> 00:39:20,200
Speaker 3: falls into an archetype just naturally because we're conditioned to

769
00:39:20,239 --> 00:39:22,839
Speaker 3: do so by a environment and society, and I thought

770
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:26,520
Speaker 3: it was just the coolest thing and so. And also

771
00:39:26,680 --> 00:39:28,840
Speaker 3: in high school, I was really into the maes Briggs

772
00:39:28,880 --> 00:39:31,360
Speaker 3: personality typing thing. I used to do it on everyone

773
00:39:31,480 --> 00:39:33,920
Speaker 3: because you know why, I couldn't figure out who I was.

774
00:39:34,040 --> 00:39:36,600
Speaker 3: I made my main priority to figuret who everybody else was.

775
00:39:36,880 --> 00:39:40,359
Speaker 3: I get you, you're this, You're an IRONTJ. I see it.

776
00:39:40,600 --> 00:39:42,920
Speaker 3: You're one dimensional to me. Don't even worry about having

777
00:39:42,960 --> 00:39:46,520
Speaker 3: it like I really thought I knew. And so fast

778
00:39:46,560 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 3: forward into adulthood, I started to go back to that.

779
00:39:49,040 --> 00:39:51,160
Speaker 3: I thought, if I'm really struggling to see who I

780
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:54,160
Speaker 3: am without looking at it through the lens of everybody else,

781
00:39:54,239 --> 00:39:56,400
Speaker 3: what would happen if I just used the system that

782
00:39:56,440 --> 00:39:58,960
Speaker 3: would reflect my answers back at me, and that would

783
00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:01,319
Speaker 3: be a really good starting point to figure out who

784
00:40:01,360 --> 00:40:05,280
Speaker 3: this bitch is and helped because suddenly I was like, oh, yeah,

785
00:40:05,800 --> 00:40:08,760
Speaker 3: like okay, I guess I do. I am really concerned

786
00:40:08,800 --> 00:40:13,360
Speaker 3: about being valued and expressing my value is really important,

787
00:40:13,560 --> 00:40:16,360
Speaker 3: and having my value being seen is very important. It

788
00:40:16,480 --> 00:40:19,319
Speaker 3: makes sense why I go into environments and want to

789
00:40:19,360 --> 00:40:22,160
Speaker 3: be want to feel like I'm in a position where

790
00:40:22,160 --> 00:40:24,319
Speaker 3: if I was to express myself, I'd be heard that

791
00:40:24,480 --> 00:40:25,080
Speaker 3: is important.

792
00:40:25,280 --> 00:40:29,359
Speaker 2: What else, oh man, I honestly am like, firstly, how

793
00:40:29,360 --> 00:40:31,840
Speaker 2: are you twenty five? Because most people hit this like

794
00:40:31,880 --> 00:40:35,560
Speaker 2: critical point if ever, in like their fifties and sixties,

795
00:40:35,600 --> 00:40:37,399
Speaker 2: which is why it's called a midlife crisis, because they've

796
00:40:37,440 --> 00:40:37,960
Speaker 2: had this one.

797
00:40:37,800 --> 00:40:38,799
Speaker 1: Identity of their whole life.

798
00:40:38,920 --> 00:40:41,800
Speaker 2: You've done the work, You've done the work like before

799
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:45,480
Speaker 2: your quarter life crisis, which is incredible. But also it's

800
00:40:45,520 --> 00:40:47,440
Speaker 2: so interesting you said before how you looked at your

801
00:40:47,480 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 2: wardrobe and you were like, this doesn't reflect who I am.

802
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,360
Speaker 1: I think that's on a broader it's like a broader.

803
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:55,399
Speaker 2: Metaphor for life where people step back and they look

804
00:40:55,400 --> 00:40:57,319
Speaker 2: at their life and they're like, this doesn't fit me,

805
00:40:57,680 --> 00:41:00,560
Speaker 2: like what we spend so much time being some other person?

806
00:41:01,280 --> 00:41:04,200
Speaker 2: And really there are actually a lot of tools and

807
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,720
Speaker 2: you can create the space for yourself in your life

808
00:41:07,160 --> 00:41:09,520
Speaker 2: to wipe this late clean and do the work as

809
00:41:09,520 --> 00:41:11,800
Speaker 2: we call it, and do this exercise that you did

810
00:41:12,360 --> 00:41:15,640
Speaker 2: to sort of now be exactly who you are unapologetically

811
00:41:16,080 --> 00:41:19,319
Speaker 2: and not feel such a dissonance between what your life

812
00:41:19,320 --> 00:41:20,879
Speaker 2: reflects about you and who you actually are.

813
00:41:21,120 --> 00:41:24,440
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and there's a level of I mean, personality typing

814
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:26,560
Speaker 3: only created a foundation for me to work on top

815
00:41:26,640 --> 00:41:30,200
Speaker 3: of it was when I had uncovered this the idea

816
00:41:30,239 --> 00:41:33,840
Speaker 3: of critical thinking, and that really it just really connected

817
00:41:33,880 --> 00:41:36,600
Speaker 3: the dots for me, because I guess once you get

818
00:41:36,600 --> 00:41:38,719
Speaker 3: into the point where you like understand who you are

819
00:41:38,760 --> 00:41:41,480
Speaker 3: and your self aware enough to know how you appear

820
00:41:41,719 --> 00:41:45,399
Speaker 3: and whatever, there is a gap because self awareness isn't

821
00:41:45,440 --> 00:41:48,040
Speaker 3: just what you do, it's why you do it. What

822
00:41:48,160 --> 00:41:50,600
Speaker 3: influence is why you do it, why you're made aware

823
00:41:50,600 --> 00:41:52,160
Speaker 3: of it, all of these things, and I guess I

824
00:41:52,239 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 3: was back to square one, but just in a more

825
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:58,839
Speaker 3: elevated way where instead of really exploring what it meant

826
00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,600
Speaker 3: to feel like myself, I was now latching onto But

827
00:42:01,680 --> 00:42:08,000
Speaker 3: I'm an antp and my archetype is you know, A, yeah,

828
00:42:08,120 --> 00:42:14,000
Speaker 3: I'm an ediogram pree wing two. And then you're like, okay, yeah,

829
00:42:14,200 --> 00:42:18,000
Speaker 3: these things are all true. But what's my belief system,

830
00:42:18,200 --> 00:42:20,560
Speaker 3: what's my moral code? Do I have ethics? Do I

831
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:25,160
Speaker 3: actually care about anything? What do I feel? And for

832
00:42:25,239 --> 00:42:27,879
Speaker 3: the most point, I mean, I'm personally someone that might

833
00:42:28,080 --> 00:42:31,839
Speaker 3: I care about very few things, and I definitely think

834
00:42:31,880 --> 00:42:33,839
Speaker 3: that when you're in a position of influence the world

835
00:42:33,840 --> 00:42:36,560
Speaker 3: wants you to care about everything, right. You gotta care

836
00:42:36,960 --> 00:42:41,120
Speaker 3: about the environment, about the animals, about people, about experiences,

837
00:42:41,239 --> 00:42:44,160
Speaker 3: about the system, about status. And it's like I can

838
00:42:44,320 --> 00:42:47,840
Speaker 3: be aware, I can be highly educated on things and

839
00:42:47,880 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 3: not fundamentally care, and that for me creates a lot

840
00:42:50,600 --> 00:42:54,160
Speaker 3: of space to put extra effort into what really matters

841
00:42:54,200 --> 00:42:58,200
Speaker 3: to me and understanding who I am actually matters, because

842
00:42:58,239 --> 00:43:01,640
Speaker 3: it's been the cornerstone of why do any of anything right.

843
00:43:02,040 --> 00:43:03,719
Speaker 3: It's the reason why I can get paid to just

844
00:43:03,800 --> 00:43:07,120
Speaker 3: tell people what I think, because I've really taken time

845
00:43:07,239 --> 00:43:10,080
Speaker 3: to figure out what I think matters, and how I

846
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:13,440
Speaker 3: think about things matters, and how I express myself matters,

847
00:43:13,480 --> 00:43:17,080
Speaker 3: and my opinion matters, and unfortunately not everybody does.

848
00:43:18,800 --> 00:43:21,520
Speaker 2: But that's so interesting as well that I think that's

849
00:43:21,560 --> 00:43:23,600
Speaker 2: probably what I've been on the cusp of realizing for

850
00:43:23,640 --> 00:43:25,480
Speaker 2: myself as well as I've always been a bit of

851
00:43:25,520 --> 00:43:29,520
Speaker 2: an overcareer and realize that that actually dilutes my potential

852
00:43:29,600 --> 00:43:32,160
Speaker 2: impact if I just really more selectively chose the things

853
00:43:32,160 --> 00:43:34,200
Speaker 2: that I gave a fuck about. And like I had

854
00:43:34,200 --> 00:43:36,279
Speaker 2: Mark Manson on a couple of weeks ago and re

855
00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:39,719
Speaker 2: read his book in reflecting on his whole idea of

856
00:43:39,760 --> 00:43:42,360
Speaker 2: you know, the satellite of not giving a fuck doesn't

857
00:43:42,400 --> 00:43:45,799
Speaker 2: mean be indifferent and apathetic and like don't care about anything,

858
00:43:46,320 --> 00:43:49,560
Speaker 2: but it means just choose. Like there's a limited amount

859
00:43:49,600 --> 00:43:51,799
Speaker 2: of energy and time and a limited amount of other

860
00:43:51,840 --> 00:43:54,600
Speaker 2: people's attention towards what you have to say, so like,

861
00:43:54,680 --> 00:43:57,520
Speaker 2: maybe be a bit more selective if you can't be

862
00:43:57,680 --> 00:44:01,200
Speaker 2: the ambassador for everything in life, but you can have

863
00:44:01,320 --> 00:44:02,439
Speaker 2: a huge impact.

864
00:44:02,120 --> 00:44:03,640
Speaker 1: On the things that you choose really carefully.

865
00:44:03,640 --> 00:44:05,799
Speaker 2: And I love that about you because you kind of

866
00:44:05,800 --> 00:44:08,480
Speaker 2: give us all permission to be like I actually am

867
00:44:08,520 --> 00:44:11,800
Speaker 2: okay with caring about the things I care about, giving

868
00:44:11,920 --> 00:44:14,680
Speaker 2: my all to those things and everything else someone else

869
00:44:14,719 --> 00:44:15,000
Speaker 2: can do.

870
00:44:15,280 --> 00:44:19,279
Speaker 3: I love that absolutely. It's because I fundamentally care about

871
00:44:19,320 --> 00:44:23,720
Speaker 3: self awareness and fundamentally care about critical thinking and learning

872
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:27,200
Speaker 3: and articulating myself that I am this person. And I

873
00:44:27,280 --> 00:44:30,120
Speaker 3: feel as though when people are asking for insight, onto

874
00:44:30,640 --> 00:44:33,279
Speaker 3: you know, expand their view of the world and to

875
00:44:33,320 --> 00:44:35,279
Speaker 3: be able to really understand what they think and why

876
00:44:35,320 --> 00:44:39,760
Speaker 3: they think, it it's a performance because it feels good

877
00:44:40,320 --> 00:44:43,120
Speaker 3: to people to know that you know, But in reality,

878
00:44:43,160 --> 00:44:46,479
Speaker 3: it takes so much time, so much effort, so much

879
00:44:46,520 --> 00:44:49,880
Speaker 3: introspection that if you don't really care, then don't do

880
00:44:49,960 --> 00:44:53,440
Speaker 3: it because it's not beneficial to you or anybody around you.

881
00:44:53,920 --> 00:44:55,520
Speaker 3: And then you fall into that trap of the person

882
00:44:55,560 --> 00:44:57,920
Speaker 3: who's self aware of all the ways they are a

883
00:44:58,000 --> 00:45:01,840
Speaker 3: menace to society. I'm so annoying every time I go

884
00:45:01,920 --> 00:45:04,680
Speaker 3: on a date with someone, like, I'm just so unengaged

885
00:45:04,719 --> 00:45:07,000
Speaker 3: because I just want to get me through. That's not cute.

886
00:45:09,640 --> 00:45:11,560
Speaker 3: We need to know that, you know. She's like, Oh,

887
00:45:11,560 --> 00:45:14,920
Speaker 3: I'm so terrible. Like I love the environment, I really do,

888
00:45:14,960 --> 00:45:18,120
Speaker 3: and I always get mad at people so buying fast fashion,

889
00:45:18,160 --> 00:45:23,360
Speaker 3: but I will never use a keep cup. People always say, like,

890
00:45:23,400 --> 00:45:28,400
Speaker 3: people say these things, and I've literally overheard this doesn't

891
00:45:28,440 --> 00:45:30,640
Speaker 3: add up. You don't have to be this way.

892
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:32,480
Speaker 1: Oh my god. I love it so literally.

893
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:35,520
Speaker 2: When I first bought this, the very first reflex card

894
00:45:35,560 --> 00:45:37,560
Speaker 2: that I pulled out of the packet, this was like

895
00:45:37,920 --> 00:45:40,319
Speaker 2: maybe last year was would you rather be hated for

896
00:45:40,320 --> 00:45:42,600
Speaker 2: who you are or loved for who you aren't? And

897
00:45:42,640 --> 00:45:45,800
Speaker 2: it's just like fundamentally one of the most important questions

898
00:45:45,840 --> 00:45:48,800
Speaker 2: anyone can ask themselves. And I love how you have

899
00:45:48,920 --> 00:45:51,640
Speaker 2: been a shadd of the skin and have worn many skins,

900
00:45:51,640 --> 00:45:54,560
Speaker 2: because that's exactly what a way to journey is is.

901
00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 2: You don't I always say, you know, you don't have

902
00:45:57,000 --> 00:45:59,680
Speaker 2: to see the whole staircase to take the first step.

903
00:46:00,040 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 2: You probably at each of those steps would never have

904
00:46:02,280 --> 00:46:04,279
Speaker 2: known that you'd end up a professional opinion have her

905
00:46:04,280 --> 00:46:06,320
Speaker 2: who actually gets paid to do the stuff you really

906
00:46:06,360 --> 00:46:09,879
Speaker 2: really care about and love. But that's where you ended up,

907
00:46:09,960 --> 00:46:12,000
Speaker 2: and it took a lot of steps to get there.

908
00:46:12,160 --> 00:46:15,520
Speaker 2: But now you are you know, you're what do you

909
00:46:15,520 --> 00:46:20,320
Speaker 2: call yourself? A multidisciplinary millennial in media? You're her, that's

910
00:46:20,360 --> 00:46:25,080
Speaker 2: her MTV presenter, Bobo and flex podcast beauty Guru. You

911
00:46:25,120 --> 00:46:27,880
Speaker 2: are a co founder of flex Factory. Like, there's just

912
00:46:27,960 --> 00:46:30,279
Speaker 2: so many things now in so many ways that you

913
00:46:30,360 --> 00:46:33,359
Speaker 2: are doing exactly what you love and exactly what is you.

914
00:46:33,800 --> 00:46:36,040
Speaker 2: But I love how openly you remind us of all that,

915
00:46:36,160 --> 00:46:37,360
Speaker 2: Like you don't wake up like that.

916
00:46:37,760 --> 00:46:42,799
Speaker 3: No, And also it's just not for everyone. It's very

917
00:46:42,840 --> 00:46:45,600
Speaker 3: easy to have a very stylized and idealized view of

918
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:48,920
Speaker 3: the way somebody does what they do, But none of

919
00:46:48,920 --> 00:46:51,879
Speaker 3: this shit is easy. Like it's easy for me because

920
00:46:51,880 --> 00:46:58,080
Speaker 3: I enjoy it, But fundamentally, any form of improving developing, upskilling, evolving,

921
00:46:58,160 --> 00:47:02,480
Speaker 3: transforming is hard, absolutely, and if you don't have to

922
00:47:02,520 --> 00:47:04,600
Speaker 3: do it, and if it's not going to be something

923
00:47:04,600 --> 00:47:06,680
Speaker 3: that you are committed to doing, then don't even worry

924
00:47:06,719 --> 00:47:09,759
Speaker 3: about it. I mean, the question would you rather be

925
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,759
Speaker 3: hated for who you are and love for who you aren't?

926
00:47:11,840 --> 00:47:13,880
Speaker 3: Is such a cliche because I don't think the average

927
00:47:13,880 --> 00:47:16,400
Speaker 3: person is acutely aware of how they move through the

928
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:20,640
Speaker 3: world begging for approval, because it really is important to

929
00:47:20,719 --> 00:47:24,080
Speaker 3: be felt as though you're liked and loved. And it's

930
00:47:24,360 --> 00:47:26,680
Speaker 3: really interesting because when I play that game or when

931
00:47:26,680 --> 00:47:30,400
Speaker 3: I answer that question with people, they always assume I

932
00:47:30,480 --> 00:47:34,000
Speaker 3: prefer to be hated for who I am. Fuck no,

933
00:47:34,120 --> 00:47:36,000
Speaker 3: you know how terrible it is to be on the

934
00:47:36,040 --> 00:47:39,719
Speaker 3: receiving end of anything, but like acceptance and warmth. I'm

935
00:47:39,719 --> 00:47:42,120
Speaker 3: not a crusader, Like I'm not trying to be the

936
00:47:42,120 --> 00:47:46,200
Speaker 3: person who is the antagonist, you know, the one who's

937
00:47:46,280 --> 00:47:48,759
Speaker 3: just like the anarchist is doing things. It's what I

938
00:47:48,760 --> 00:47:52,080
Speaker 3: want to do. And if no, I'm acutely aware of

939
00:47:52,120 --> 00:47:55,440
Speaker 3: how good it feels to be put on a pedestal

940
00:47:55,880 --> 00:47:58,640
Speaker 3: or projected upon in a positive way. And I'm quite

941
00:47:58,680 --> 00:48:01,040
Speaker 3: comfortable with that because I always know I'm never going

942
00:48:01,080 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 3: to be in a position where i can go to

943
00:48:02,680 --> 00:48:05,840
Speaker 3: each individual person that has access to me and explain

944
00:48:05,920 --> 00:48:08,160
Speaker 3: them exactly who I am and the way I want

945
00:48:08,160 --> 00:48:10,799
Speaker 3: to be seen. It doesn't matter, and I don't really care, like,

946
00:48:11,080 --> 00:48:14,520
Speaker 3: just give me the good shit because I am motivated

947
00:48:14,560 --> 00:48:17,760
Speaker 3: by pleasure and leisure and feeling good and being loved

948
00:48:17,880 --> 00:48:19,560
Speaker 3: like that's fun. Not being mad.

949
00:48:20,239 --> 00:48:22,560
Speaker 2: Absolutely, And I think another thing that really stands out

950
00:48:22,600 --> 00:48:26,200
Speaker 2: and why you have the longevity and support that you

951
00:48:26,280 --> 00:48:30,000
Speaker 2: do in what you do, even though if other people

952
00:48:30,040 --> 00:48:33,120
Speaker 2: were as sort of taboo breaking or open about things

953
00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:36,239
Speaker 2: that make other people uncomfortable, is because it's clear that

954
00:48:36,280 --> 00:48:38,680
Speaker 2: you're not doing it just to be controversial. Yeah, you know,

955
00:48:38,760 --> 00:48:40,400
Speaker 2: it's clear that you're not just like I'm just gonna

956
00:48:40,440 --> 00:48:43,239
Speaker 2: like cause a fuss here, I'm just say shit that

957
00:48:43,280 --> 00:48:46,239
Speaker 2: makes people uncomfortable because it's fun, Like you do it

958
00:48:46,280 --> 00:48:49,600
Speaker 2: because you care about sexual liberation and you care about

959
00:48:49,719 --> 00:48:53,080
Speaker 2: education of you know, people about topics they wouldn't normally

960
00:48:53,160 --> 00:48:55,080
Speaker 2: engage in, and you do it so well.

961
00:48:55,440 --> 00:48:57,480
Speaker 3: Per And it's an interesting way to put it because

962
00:48:57,480 --> 00:48:59,880
Speaker 3: I now are in this time where of like what

963
00:49:00,320 --> 00:49:04,160
Speaker 3: call it I don't know like radical, which is a

964
00:49:04,239 --> 00:49:07,720
Speaker 3: very radical time at the moment, and people are getting

965
00:49:07,800 --> 00:49:13,120
Speaker 3: thrust into evolution prematurely. You know, yesterday you weren't aware

966
00:49:13,120 --> 00:49:16,840
Speaker 3: of the way black lives were disproportionately affected to other lives,

967
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:18,719
Speaker 3: but today you are and suddenly want to be an activist.

968
00:49:19,160 --> 00:49:23,520
Speaker 3: It literally cannot happen overnight because your ability to understand

969
00:49:23,760 --> 00:49:26,680
Speaker 3: can't be fully evolved in a night. And what we

970
00:49:26,719 --> 00:49:29,040
Speaker 3: see is, like you said this, it's not even contra

971
00:49:29,320 --> 00:49:31,440
Speaker 3: People aren't trying to be controversial the sense of like,

972
00:49:31,520 --> 00:49:34,280
Speaker 3: let me jump on, but there's this definitely their motivation

973
00:49:34,360 --> 00:49:37,680
Speaker 3: doesn't match with their actions and it doesn't ever feel genuine.

974
00:49:38,000 --> 00:49:39,560
Speaker 3: And I feel like we are in a time of

975
00:49:39,640 --> 00:49:46,080
Speaker 3: performative everything, performative activism, performative relatability, performative understanding, performative normalhood.

976
00:49:46,480 --> 00:49:50,200
Speaker 3: I too have depression, I too cry, and it's like

977
00:49:50,280 --> 00:49:53,080
Speaker 3: we get it. But if you spend half that time

978
00:49:53,520 --> 00:49:56,279
Speaker 3: just trying to better communicate who you are and the

979
00:49:56,320 --> 00:49:59,400
Speaker 3: expectations of you, then maybe you wouldn't be bullied for

980
00:49:59,440 --> 00:50:01,840
Speaker 3: not advocate heading for certain groups, and maybe you wouldn't

981
00:50:01,840 --> 00:50:04,720
Speaker 3: feel pressure to show that you are a keep cup

982
00:50:04,840 --> 00:50:09,480
Speaker 3: using environmentally conscious, so and so. You know, people always

983
00:50:09,560 --> 00:50:12,120
Speaker 3: use that annoying cliche phrase it's like moving through the

984
00:50:12,160 --> 00:50:15,320
Speaker 3: world with intention and blah blah blah, But it so matters.

985
00:50:15,760 --> 00:50:17,839
Speaker 3: It is in your best debt and it's in your

986
00:50:17,880 --> 00:50:21,239
Speaker 3: best interest to figure out who you are and how

987
00:50:21,280 --> 00:50:24,000
Speaker 3: you want to be perceived so you can start living

988
00:50:24,000 --> 00:50:27,480
Speaker 3: a life on your own terms. Everybody always says to me,

989
00:50:27,560 --> 00:50:30,400
Speaker 3: you're so lucky that you can like have you like,

990
00:50:30,480 --> 00:50:33,399
Speaker 3: do what you want and say how you feel. It

991
00:50:33,480 --> 00:50:37,839
Speaker 3: wasn't luck. Going against the grain isn't beneficial until it is,

992
00:50:38,320 --> 00:50:41,880
Speaker 3: you know, like these things went well received just because

993
00:50:41,880 --> 00:50:44,080
Speaker 3: I did it. You don't see the das be like, oh,

994
00:50:44,160 --> 00:50:46,560
Speaker 3: you're just like a DJ. Stick to what you know,

995
00:50:46,800 --> 00:50:50,400
Speaker 3: don't talk about these things, blah blah blah. And suddenly

996
00:50:50,480 --> 00:50:53,239
Speaker 3: it's like, oh, can we borrow your mind. Here's a

997
00:50:53,280 --> 00:50:58,360
Speaker 3: consulting fee's there's a process, you know, and don't stress

998
00:50:58,400 --> 00:51:01,280
Speaker 3: yourself out if you're not here for I'm not saying

999
00:51:01,280 --> 00:51:03,400
Speaker 3: not to give things a go and see how they fit.

1000
00:51:03,840 --> 00:51:08,120
Speaker 3: But also if we all cumulatively spent just an extra

1001
00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:11,040
Speaker 3: few minutes a day critically thinking, assessing what we do,

1002
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:14,120
Speaker 3: why we do it what impacted what we're doing and

1003
00:51:14,120 --> 00:51:16,799
Speaker 3: what we really think the benefit is of anything that

1004
00:51:16,840 --> 00:51:19,480
Speaker 3: we're doing, because we all have an agenda. We all

1005
00:51:19,480 --> 00:51:22,040
Speaker 3: have agendas. It's just a matter of a lot of

1006
00:51:22,080 --> 00:51:25,080
Speaker 3: us aren't really aware of why we do the things

1007
00:51:25,120 --> 00:51:26,360
Speaker 3: we do. As soon as you can get down to

1008
00:51:26,400 --> 00:51:30,920
Speaker 3: the like the nooks and crannies, you start to feel free, gily,

1009
00:51:31,000 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 3: You're just like, ugh, I know why I do this.

1010
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:35,879
Speaker 3: I know I can comfortably say that I do care

1011
00:51:35,960 --> 00:51:38,719
Speaker 3: about things and I don't care about things. I have

1012
00:51:38,880 --> 00:51:43,880
Speaker 3: agency because I've given myself that agency. Nobody said, hey, flex,

1013
00:51:44,320 --> 00:51:46,640
Speaker 3: now we think it's appropriate that you can speak about

1014
00:51:46,640 --> 00:51:48,000
Speaker 3: things you care about. I did it anyway.

1015
00:51:48,239 --> 00:51:50,960
Speaker 2: Yeah no, But that's actually such a good point because

1016
00:51:50,960 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 2: with anyone who's doing something different in any way, like

1017
00:51:54,040 --> 00:51:56,760
Speaker 2: even just like you know, technological innovation or product innovation

1018
00:51:56,920 --> 00:52:01,560
Speaker 2: or thought innovation in your case, it is really unpopular

1019
00:52:01,800 --> 00:52:03,480
Speaker 2: and controversial until it's not.

1020
00:52:03,840 --> 00:52:04,880
Speaker 1: But someone has.

1021
00:52:04,760 --> 00:52:06,680
Speaker 2: To go through that bit first, which is why I

1022
00:52:06,719 --> 00:52:08,480
Speaker 2: love to go back to the very beginning when you

1023
00:52:08,520 --> 00:52:11,759
Speaker 2: weren't able to be as freely yourself and probably didn't

1024
00:52:11,800 --> 00:52:14,600
Speaker 2: know who that was anyway, but you couldn't have been

1025
00:52:14,719 --> 00:52:17,240
Speaker 2: born into the world flexmami as you are now.

1026
00:52:17,480 --> 00:52:18,520
Speaker 1: It just wouldn't you know.

1027
00:52:18,719 --> 00:52:20,960
Speaker 2: That's not how people's journeys go, and that's not how

1028
00:52:21,080 --> 00:52:24,440
Speaker 2: change is generated, and that's not how unique voices in

1029
00:52:24,480 --> 00:52:27,279
Speaker 2: society develop. You have to go through all the conformity

1030
00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:29,200
Speaker 2: and then you have to go through it all to

1031
00:52:29,239 --> 00:52:31,759
Speaker 2: actually make get the trust and build the voice that

1032
00:52:31,840 --> 00:52:34,120
Speaker 2: you have today. I don't think luck. I mean, I

1033
00:52:34,120 --> 00:52:37,480
Speaker 2: think luck is a part of the journey for you know, everyone,

1034
00:52:37,760 --> 00:52:39,200
Speaker 2: But I think most of it is that you're a

1035
00:52:39,320 --> 00:52:41,439
Speaker 2: damn hard worker and you are willing to just put

1036
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:43,640
Speaker 2: yourself on the line while you explored all these parts

1037
00:52:43,680 --> 00:52:46,719
Speaker 2: of yourself and now you've earned where you are to

1038
00:52:46,760 --> 00:52:49,160
Speaker 2: be able to be a professional opinion ever because you've

1039
00:52:49,400 --> 00:52:50,960
Speaker 2: spent so long working on your opinion.

1040
00:52:51,160 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 3: That's it. It's interesting because they tell people to like

1041
00:52:56,200 --> 00:52:58,920
Speaker 3: it's all about assessing what actually works for you. Because

1042
00:52:59,239 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 3: I speak to my boyfriend about this sometime, He's come like,

1043
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:03,600
Speaker 3: I guess I could do what you do. I'm like, yeah,

1044
00:53:03,719 --> 00:53:07,359
Speaker 3: you are a risk analyst. You can finance. Everything you

1045
00:53:07,440 --> 00:53:10,600
Speaker 3: do is binary. There is a way it needs to

1046
00:53:10,600 --> 00:53:13,360
Speaker 3: be done for the best possible outcome, and you don't stray,

1047
00:53:13,680 --> 00:53:15,879
Speaker 3: And there's a reason you don't because all the risk

1048
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,839
Speaker 3: analysts before you have proved that this is the best

1049
00:53:18,840 --> 00:53:22,480
Speaker 3: way to do. So what we do commodifying ourselves is

1050
00:53:22,600 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 3: very risky. I feel like people forget that people aren't

1051
00:53:26,600 --> 00:53:29,279
Speaker 3: inherently likable, you know, like not everyone can be in

1052
00:53:29,280 --> 00:53:32,440
Speaker 3: a position where they not only sell themselves their personality,

1053
00:53:32,680 --> 00:53:36,560
Speaker 3: their interests, their beliefs, the way those dots need to connect,

1054
00:53:36,920 --> 00:53:40,160
Speaker 3: the way you need to be so acutely aware of

1055
00:53:40,160 --> 00:53:43,120
Speaker 3: how you're perceived and what spaces you can enter. I

1056
00:53:43,160 --> 00:53:46,319
Speaker 3: definite wouldn't say it's rocket signed, but it's just not

1057
00:53:46,600 --> 00:53:49,920
Speaker 3: simple work. And often if you had to outweigh the

1058
00:53:50,000 --> 00:53:53,920
Speaker 3: benefits of the pros and the cons, this industry is

1059
00:53:54,000 --> 00:53:58,440
Speaker 3: riddled with cons. Even the idea of every week jumping

1060
00:53:58,520 --> 00:54:01,960
Speaker 3: on to express how you feel and then being tied

1061
00:54:02,000 --> 00:54:04,280
Speaker 3: to those ideas absurd.

1062
00:54:04,400 --> 00:54:07,880
Speaker 1: So absurd. I'm so upset, And yet.

1063
00:54:07,719 --> 00:54:11,120
Speaker 3: We do it because we can, and because we're comfortable

1064
00:54:11,800 --> 00:54:13,960
Speaker 3: with what we're saying and how we're saying it. Are

1065
00:54:14,000 --> 00:54:16,239
Speaker 3: we the first person say tomorrow, Oh, you know, I

1066
00:54:16,280 --> 00:54:18,960
Speaker 3: take it back. I don't really, I don't really subscribe

1067
00:54:18,960 --> 00:54:21,640
Speaker 3: to those beliefs but there's a certain confidence in being

1068
00:54:21,680 --> 00:54:25,280
Speaker 3: able to do so. If you don't have that, then practice.

1069
00:54:25,880 --> 00:54:27,960
Speaker 3: H it's the small things. The next time you go

1070
00:54:28,000 --> 00:54:30,919
Speaker 3: to a restaurant and somebody asks you, how was that,

1071
00:54:31,480 --> 00:54:34,360
Speaker 3: let them know I really did enjoy myself. You know,

1072
00:54:34,480 --> 00:54:36,319
Speaker 3: I thought that the juice came out a little bit late,

1073
00:54:36,360 --> 00:54:39,759
Speaker 3: but I enjoyed myself. The next time your friend asks you,

1074
00:54:39,760 --> 00:54:43,000
Speaker 3: you know, how'd you feel about me inviting my boyfriend

1075
00:54:43,120 --> 00:54:46,759
Speaker 3: to your birthday? Babe? I prefer you didn't like I

1076
00:54:46,760 --> 00:54:48,640
Speaker 3: haven't seen you in a minute. It's just been It

1077
00:54:48,640 --> 00:54:51,200
Speaker 3: would be really nice to connect with you one on

1078
00:54:51,200 --> 00:54:53,200
Speaker 3: one or one on nine with the other girls coming.

1079
00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:57,799
Speaker 3: These are all ways you start to fortify you know

1080
00:54:57,880 --> 00:55:01,680
Speaker 3: who you are. You can't be mister missus passes and

1081
00:55:01,719 --> 00:55:04,279
Speaker 3: then wonder why you're not in a position where articulation

1082
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:06,760
Speaker 3: comes naturally to you. What are you talking about?

1083
00:55:07,000 --> 00:55:08,480
Speaker 1: Flex What do you make.

1084
00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:14,080
Speaker 2: Such valuable reflections for so many people who I think

1085
00:55:14,160 --> 00:55:15,960
Speaker 2: are sort of mister and missus passive and then are

1086
00:55:15,960 --> 00:55:18,600
Speaker 2: like wondering why they don't have the platform then to

1087
00:55:18,680 --> 00:55:19,680
Speaker 2: express themselves.

1088
00:55:19,400 --> 00:55:20,120
Speaker 1: Or the language.

1089
00:55:20,719 --> 00:55:23,800
Speaker 2: So now that you do have so many different outlets

1090
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:26,600
Speaker 2: and are living a flashy life.

1091
00:55:27,719 --> 00:55:31,359
Speaker 1: What are your favorite ways to b flex? Is it?

1092
00:55:31,400 --> 00:55:32,200
Speaker 1: Do you still DJ?

1093
00:55:32,680 --> 00:55:34,200
Speaker 2: I know you do it every now and then you'll

1094
00:55:34,200 --> 00:55:36,920
Speaker 2: come out and do a big event. Is it the podcast?

1095
00:55:37,080 --> 00:55:39,720
Speaker 2: Is it your beauty work? Is it the flex factory

1096
00:55:39,719 --> 00:55:42,840
Speaker 2: and the products? Is it your renovations that you've been doing,

1097
00:55:42,960 --> 00:55:46,040
Speaker 2: or you're like diy, you know, paint shobs. Like what

1098
00:55:46,360 --> 00:55:48,719
Speaker 2: is lighting you up the most of the moment.

1099
00:55:48,600 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 3: I'd say, it's every time I can wake up and

1100
00:55:50,520 --> 00:55:53,160
Speaker 3: do exactly what I want to because I want to,

1101
00:55:53,800 --> 00:55:56,720
Speaker 3: and it is a privilege in itself, and I assumed

1102
00:55:56,760 --> 00:55:58,959
Speaker 3: it's a privilege I would have far sooner in my life.

1103
00:55:59,080 --> 00:56:02,799
Speaker 3: I know, Hubris, it happens so many times. I Mean,

1104
00:56:02,800 --> 00:56:05,319
Speaker 3: when I transition from full time work to freelance, I thought, oh,

1105
00:56:05,360 --> 00:56:07,640
Speaker 3: I'm gonna work whenever I want to do whatever I want.

1106
00:56:07,680 --> 00:56:09,480
Speaker 3: And then you're like, oh no, like I actually need

1107
00:56:09,520 --> 00:56:13,279
Speaker 3: to be generating ideas income all the time. And the

1108
00:56:13,400 --> 00:56:15,759
Speaker 3: days where I can just say, oh, I do have

1109
00:56:15,800 --> 00:56:18,200
Speaker 3: emails and I have work, but I'm literally gonna get

1110
00:56:18,200 --> 00:56:20,400
Speaker 3: in my car and drive to the farm and like

1111
00:56:20,600 --> 00:56:22,920
Speaker 3: vibe out, you know, all the day where I'm like,

1112
00:56:22,960 --> 00:56:24,680
Speaker 3: you know what I am just gonna make something because

1113
00:56:24,680 --> 00:56:26,520
Speaker 3: I want to. I won't even share it because I

1114
00:56:26,560 --> 00:56:29,680
Speaker 3: don't have to. And so much about what I am

1115
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,880
Speaker 3: learning to value in my life is just remaining really,

1116
00:56:33,080 --> 00:56:35,520
Speaker 3: in the most cliche way, true to myself, like really

1117
00:56:35,560 --> 00:56:39,279
Speaker 3: identifying what really makes my life worth living. Because I'm

1118
00:56:39,320 --> 00:56:41,840
Speaker 3: a duty fulfiller, I will do what I have to

1119
00:56:41,960 --> 00:56:44,080
Speaker 3: and what needs to be done over what I want

1120
00:56:44,120 --> 00:56:47,680
Speaker 3: to do at any day. But taking back my agency

1121
00:56:47,800 --> 00:56:50,600
Speaker 3: is just my favorite thing because it means that I

1122
00:56:50,640 --> 00:56:54,000
Speaker 3: haven't lost myself again. It means that I'm still really

1123
00:56:54,040 --> 00:56:56,279
Speaker 3: aware of who I want, who I want to be,

1124
00:56:56,360 --> 00:56:58,440
Speaker 3: and who I am and the things that will kind

1125
00:56:58,480 --> 00:57:02,160
Speaker 3: of make me want to continue living. I can't feel

1126
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:04,520
Speaker 3: like there's a void up to the rest of my life.

1127
00:57:04,600 --> 00:57:05,960
Speaker 3: I want to get to the point where I'm like, oh,

1128
00:57:06,000 --> 00:57:09,640
Speaker 3: this is all just nus, yeah, and finding ways to

1129
00:57:09,680 --> 00:57:13,600
Speaker 3: give myself agencies, just working towards contentment, be like I

1130
00:57:13,600 --> 00:57:15,960
Speaker 3: know exactly what is that makes me happy. I know

1131
00:57:16,080 --> 00:57:18,440
Speaker 3: exactly what is it makes me feel fulfilled, and sometimes

1132
00:57:18,480 --> 00:57:18,840
Speaker 3: I don't.

1133
00:57:18,920 --> 00:57:23,600
Speaker 2: But I also find that a side effect of being

1134
00:57:24,360 --> 00:57:28,560
Speaker 2: hyper self aware and constantly open minded to learning and

1135
00:57:28,680 --> 00:57:32,280
Speaker 2: growth and analysis of yourself and the way that you

1136
00:57:32,320 --> 00:57:35,800
Speaker 2: do things also is kind of really damn exhausting because

1137
00:57:35,800 --> 00:57:37,800
Speaker 2: you're having double the amount of thoughts as a normal person.

1138
00:57:37,840 --> 00:57:39,800
Speaker 1: You're having your thoughts and then you're thinking about your thoughts.

1139
00:57:39,800 --> 00:57:42,600
Speaker 2: And I find that I'm so prone to burn out

1140
00:57:42,600 --> 00:57:44,320
Speaker 2: because of the amount of self reflection.

1141
00:57:44,040 --> 00:57:44,400
Speaker 1: That I do.

1142
00:57:45,040 --> 00:57:48,680
Speaker 2: How do you manage that your energy when you're constantly

1143
00:57:48,720 --> 00:57:50,640
Speaker 2: I mean, everyone wants a piece of flex but you

1144
00:57:50,760 --> 00:57:53,320
Speaker 2: also are reflecting on all the different ways that you're

1145
00:57:53,360 --> 00:57:56,960
Speaker 2: expressing yourself, Like how do you find moments of peace

1146
00:57:57,040 --> 00:57:59,720
Speaker 2: and then not physically and emotionally just burn out.

1147
00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:04,120
Speaker 3: It's tricky because burnout really is my vocation, Like, yeah,

1148
00:58:04,200 --> 00:58:07,960
Speaker 3: it's it's just what I tell and I do it well.

1149
00:58:08,200 --> 00:58:12,240
Speaker 3: And for the longest time, I was really aspiring for

1150
00:58:12,320 --> 00:58:15,000
Speaker 3: conventional balance, being able to just do a bit here

1151
00:58:15,120 --> 00:58:17,880
Speaker 3: and then not do too much and really manage my energy.

1152
00:58:17,880 --> 00:58:19,640
Speaker 3: It's not happening. It's not something that I know how

1153
00:58:19,680 --> 00:58:21,400
Speaker 3: to do really well. I naturally do a lot and

1154
00:58:21,440 --> 00:58:23,200
Speaker 3: then do nothing, do a lot and then do nothing,

1155
00:58:23,520 --> 00:58:25,880
Speaker 3: which was also affirmed by the time that I went

1156
00:58:25,920 --> 00:58:28,480
Speaker 3: to go see a celebrity astrologer and she was looking

1157
00:58:28,520 --> 00:58:30,280
Speaker 3: at my chart and she was like, yeah, like you're

1158
00:58:30,280 --> 00:58:32,000
Speaker 3: so lucky. Yeah, you wi't know how to kill it.

1159
00:58:32,280 --> 00:58:35,200
Speaker 3: Oh yeah, I'm really seeing You're gonna have to really

1160
00:58:35,240 --> 00:58:38,960
Speaker 3: be mindful of burnout. That's just something that's gonna I'm like, sis,

1161
00:58:39,000 --> 00:58:43,000
Speaker 3: say no more. What I need to be do is

1162
00:58:43,280 --> 00:58:46,280
Speaker 3: what I need to be do language it's tricky. What

1163
00:58:46,400 --> 00:58:49,120
Speaker 3: I need to do for myself is less about how

1164
00:58:49,160 --> 00:58:52,600
Speaker 3: to eradicate burnout and more about how to be more

1165
00:58:52,640 --> 00:58:55,840
Speaker 3: aware of when it's coming and what activities I do

1166
00:58:55,920 --> 00:58:58,800
Speaker 3: that are burnout inducing. So I know, for me, what

1167
00:58:58,920 --> 00:59:01,760
Speaker 3: really pushes me over the edge is when I'm not

1168
00:59:01,800 --> 00:59:05,360
Speaker 3: being understood, when I'm doing things out of obligation, when

1169
00:59:05,400 --> 00:59:09,919
Speaker 3: people are prioritizing themselves and exploiting me. So that's when

1170
00:59:10,080 --> 00:59:12,680
Speaker 3: someone's saying, like, you do this, do thing you don't

1171
00:59:12,720 --> 00:59:15,040
Speaker 3: want to do, but it's for a certain amount of money. No,

1172
00:59:15,520 --> 00:59:19,200
Speaker 3: like no, because I'm not doing all of this to

1173
00:59:19,240 --> 00:59:22,440
Speaker 3: be now tied to an arbitrary system like money. It's

1174
00:59:22,520 --> 00:59:24,720
Speaker 3: nice and I'll take it, but also don't use it

1175
00:59:24,720 --> 00:59:26,480
Speaker 3: as a tool to guide me like I'm a dog

1176
00:59:26,520 --> 00:59:28,640
Speaker 3: on a leash. It's not happening. So if I can

1177
00:59:28,680 --> 00:59:30,959
Speaker 3: sort of mitigate the areas of my life that push

1178
00:59:31,080 --> 00:59:35,919
Speaker 3: me towards you know, over stimulation, over exhaustion, over outputting.

1179
00:59:36,480 --> 00:59:38,720
Speaker 3: Then that's much better and I can kind of get

1180
00:59:38,760 --> 00:59:41,680
Speaker 3: to a burnout stage that's easier to manage that I'm

1181
00:59:41,720 --> 00:59:45,120
Speaker 3: not manic and you know, fully emotional, feeling anxious and

1182
00:59:45,160 --> 00:59:47,360
Speaker 3: super depressed. I'm like, oh, you know what, I just

1183
00:59:47,760 --> 00:59:49,440
Speaker 3: need a break and that's fine.

1184
00:59:49,720 --> 00:59:50,360
Speaker 1: Oh my gosh.

1185
00:59:50,400 --> 00:59:52,640
Speaker 2: I think if all of us were aware enough to

1186
00:59:52,760 --> 00:59:55,880
Speaker 2: list what those sort of depleting activities were, everyone would

1187
00:59:55,880 --> 00:59:56,720
Speaker 2: be so much healthier.

1188
00:59:57,160 --> 00:59:57,400
Speaker 1: Real.

1189
00:59:57,520 --> 00:59:59,760
Speaker 2: But the other thing that I think comes on the

1190
00:59:59,760 --> 01:00:02,160
Speaker 2: flot side of that is the last section, which is

1191
01:00:02,200 --> 01:00:04,800
Speaker 2: called playta, And that's the part where we strip back

1192
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:07,680
Speaker 2: all the aspects of our identities and just.

1193
01:00:07,760 --> 01:00:09,680
Speaker 1: Do what purely brings you joy.

1194
01:00:09,760 --> 01:00:14,040
Speaker 2: What's not obligation based, what I think isn't even learning

1195
01:00:14,160 --> 01:00:17,240
Speaker 2: or productive outcome based, which is really hard for people

1196
01:00:17,240 --> 01:00:18,880
Speaker 2: like May who just like want to win it stuff

1197
01:00:18,880 --> 01:00:22,120
Speaker 2: and like get better and like progress what other things?

1198
01:00:22,200 --> 01:00:25,080
Speaker 3: Wait, are you an enneagram three as well? Yeah?

1199
01:00:25,320 --> 01:00:28,880
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I'm an aries like it's yeah, we are

1200
01:00:28,920 --> 01:00:34,880
Speaker 2: the same. But when we're manically focused on self improvement

1201
01:00:35,000 --> 01:00:39,720
Speaker 2: and reflection, and betterment, which means that I will constantly

1202
01:00:39,880 --> 01:00:42,760
Speaker 2: be in a place of chronic fatigue unless I make

1203
01:00:42,880 --> 01:00:46,520
Speaker 2: time actively and religiously make myself play and do things

1204
01:00:46,520 --> 01:00:48,200
Speaker 2: that make me forget what time it is and that

1205
01:00:48,320 --> 01:00:53,000
Speaker 2: have no sort of milestones of achievement about it. So

1206
01:00:53,560 --> 01:00:56,200
Speaker 2: how do you play? Do you do anything that's just

1207
01:00:56,280 --> 01:00:56,720
Speaker 2: for fun?

1208
01:00:56,960 --> 01:01:00,520
Speaker 3: I love that you've worded it that way, and quick caveat.

1209
01:01:00,520 --> 01:01:03,560
Speaker 3: I was listening to a podcast about an Enneagram three

1210
01:01:04,120 --> 01:01:06,560
Speaker 3: and somebody had asked him a similar question, how do

1211
01:01:06,600 --> 01:01:09,760
Speaker 3: you just like play? And he was like, Oh, what

1212
01:01:09,840 --> 01:01:13,800
Speaker 3: I do is I become the best at being leisurely?

1213
01:01:14,280 --> 01:01:16,800
Speaker 3: You know, I exceeded it And I was like, wow,

1214
01:01:17,160 --> 01:01:20,400
Speaker 3: you're my person. But that's exactly it. I knew there

1215
01:01:20,480 --> 01:01:22,920
Speaker 3: was a time where, you know, I was never going

1216
01:01:22,960 --> 01:01:24,760
Speaker 3: to be that person who's just like you know, feel

1217
01:01:24,800 --> 01:01:26,560
Speaker 3: when I needed a time to take a break and

1218
01:01:26,560 --> 01:01:29,160
Speaker 3: then take it. No, I need to do it with intention.

1219
01:01:29,320 --> 01:01:31,280
Speaker 3: And so there are some days where I will just

1220
01:01:31,640 --> 01:01:34,320
Speaker 3: watch Netflix for ten hours and watch a season a

1221
01:01:34,400 --> 01:01:37,120
Speaker 3: day because I can and I should and I want to.

1222
01:01:37,560 --> 01:01:41,560
Speaker 3: And it's finding activities like that that don't that I

1223
01:01:41,560 --> 01:01:45,680
Speaker 3: can't justify at all. But I will prioritize, and that is,

1224
01:01:45,800 --> 01:01:49,680
Speaker 3: you know, getting another chest of drawers from Facebook marketplace

1225
01:01:49,680 --> 01:01:52,320
Speaker 3: and painting them. Do I need more draws? No? Do

1226
01:01:52,400 --> 01:01:55,120
Speaker 3: I have more space? No? Am I going out of

1227
01:01:55,120 --> 01:01:58,800
Speaker 3: my way to inconvenience myself? Yes? Will it bring me joy? Absolutely?

1228
01:02:00,400 --> 01:02:02,400
Speaker 2: I love that you're now getting people to send you

1229
01:02:02,480 --> 01:02:04,440
Speaker 2: things they.

1230
01:02:03,840 --> 01:02:06,640
Speaker 1: Marketplace that are like out you see it? Yeah, and

1231
01:02:06,720 --> 01:02:09,280
Speaker 1: you know I need it? Then I will take those draws.

1232
01:02:09,320 --> 01:02:11,120
Speaker 1: I don't care how much room I have to move

1233
01:02:11,160 --> 01:02:12,240
Speaker 1: around in my own house.

1234
01:02:13,360 --> 01:02:16,880
Speaker 3: Honestly, it's just I'm outsourcing and optimizing my lifestyle. But yeah,

1235
01:02:17,040 --> 01:02:19,840
Speaker 3: just my challenge is, like you said, not not trying

1236
01:02:19,840 --> 01:02:24,280
Speaker 3: to like monetize things or attribute like a like a

1237
01:02:24,400 --> 01:02:26,600
Speaker 3: value to things in the way that it makes me

1238
01:02:26,680 --> 01:02:30,160
Speaker 3: feel good or bad to just do and being creative

1239
01:02:30,200 --> 01:02:32,400
Speaker 3: help because I can just paint or make something or

1240
01:02:32,400 --> 01:02:36,200
Speaker 3: whatever and it'll take a whole day and that's what

1241
01:02:36,240 --> 01:02:38,760
Speaker 3: I need. Yeah, Yeah, I mean I just if you're

1242
01:02:38,760 --> 01:02:40,919
Speaker 3: not creative, I don't know how you just find time

1243
01:02:40,960 --> 01:02:44,720
Speaker 3: to do things that don't matter, because yeah, like being

1244
01:02:45,120 --> 01:02:47,080
Speaker 3: a person is not creative, and then doing creative things

1245
01:02:47,120 --> 01:02:49,280
Speaker 3: and not being good at it, that would suck. Because

1246
01:02:49,320 --> 01:02:51,560
Speaker 3: there's a reason why I can go and buy a

1247
01:02:51,600 --> 01:02:53,280
Speaker 3: chest to draws and paint them because I'm.

1248
01:02:53,120 --> 01:02:55,400
Speaker 1: Good at it and you know it'll turn out well.

1249
01:02:55,440 --> 01:02:59,320
Speaker 3: Is enjoyable, even if there's no like value attribute to it.

1250
01:02:59,360 --> 01:03:00,880
Speaker 3: I'm like, it's fine, and it looks good.

1251
01:03:02,480 --> 01:03:03,960
Speaker 1: It does definitely look good.

1252
01:03:05,920 --> 01:03:09,520
Speaker 2: So, just to finish up, what are three interesting things

1253
01:03:09,560 --> 01:03:12,440
Speaker 2: about you that don't normally come up in conversation? And

1254
01:03:12,480 --> 01:03:14,440
Speaker 2: I mean, you have a lot of conversations and I'm

1255
01:03:14,480 --> 01:03:17,160
Speaker 2: pretty open about yourself, so it's probably a hard one,

1256
01:03:17,200 --> 01:03:20,560
Speaker 2: but I mean I read one that your last meal

1257
01:03:20,600 --> 01:03:23,200
Speaker 2: would be a bundless chicken burger with chips and mushroom sauce,

1258
01:03:23,240 --> 01:03:26,320
Speaker 2: which really surprises me because we know that you're bland

1259
01:03:26,440 --> 01:03:29,800
Speaker 2: now and I'm like, really, mushroom sauce.

1260
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:34,120
Speaker 3: And to think mushroom sauce is one of those things.

1261
01:03:34,160 --> 01:03:38,240
Speaker 3: So for context, the rational is hurricanes and I don't

1262
01:03:38,280 --> 01:03:41,000
Speaker 3: know if they exist in Melbourne, but they're definitely in Sydney.

1263
01:03:41,640 --> 01:03:45,760
Speaker 3: And it's just like a simple steakhouse type vibe, the

1264
01:03:45,840 --> 01:03:47,840
Speaker 3: kind of place where you could take a family for

1265
01:03:47,960 --> 01:03:51,720
Speaker 3: like a nice ish meal for somebody's birthday, but for

1266
01:03:51,800 --> 01:03:54,560
Speaker 3: the average you know, like adult. It's just where you

1267
01:03:54,680 --> 01:03:56,880
Speaker 3: go to on like a date night if you wanted to.

1268
01:03:57,000 --> 01:03:59,800
Speaker 3: You know, Yeah, I went there all as a teenager

1269
01:04:00,000 --> 01:04:01,680
Speaker 3: because it's where we used to go. And we're sixteen

1270
01:04:01,720 --> 01:04:03,560
Speaker 3: and we want to dress up, go to Darling Harbor

1271
01:04:03,600 --> 01:04:07,160
Speaker 3: where heels, and go to a nice restaurant. And I've

1272
01:04:07,280 --> 01:04:09,919
Speaker 3: ordered the same thing for years, the bunless Chickenberg, because

1273
01:04:09,960 --> 01:04:14,640
Speaker 3: the bun is too big. Also, right, it's not briosh.

1274
01:04:14,720 --> 01:04:18,800
Speaker 3: It's a big, crusty, seedy bun. Oh no, that you

1275
01:04:19,000 --> 01:04:22,000
Speaker 3: literally can't wrap your mouth around and it just takes up.

1276
01:04:22,760 --> 01:04:25,400
Speaker 3: It's not it's not at all. So I remember, like

1277
01:04:25,440 --> 01:04:28,480
Speaker 3: all throughout my high high school period, even in adulthood,

1278
01:04:28,760 --> 01:04:32,360
Speaker 3: my best friend Grace, I've got two best friends called Grace,

1279
01:04:32,440 --> 01:04:34,520
Speaker 3: not to get them confused, but Grace from high school

1280
01:04:34,720 --> 01:04:39,280
Speaker 3: would always order mushroom sauce and it's brown. It looks unappetizing,

1281
01:04:39,320 --> 01:04:41,800
Speaker 3: and I was like, ill, Grace, Grace whatever. And then

1282
01:04:41,880 --> 01:04:45,280
Speaker 3: one day the Picciata tried it and was like, oh,

1283
01:04:45,360 --> 01:04:51,160
Speaker 3: I get it. Mushroom sauce is good. So unfortunately, though

1284
01:04:51,280 --> 01:04:54,800
Speaker 3: I guess my taste buds have you know, transformed in

1285
01:04:54,840 --> 01:04:58,320
Speaker 3: some way. But hurricanes doesn't hit like it used to.

1286
01:04:58,880 --> 01:05:01,959
Speaker 3: So I might have to mend my last meal later

1287
01:05:02,000 --> 01:05:03,840
Speaker 3: on in my life, but for now, I'll take it.

1288
01:05:04,600 --> 01:05:07,360
Speaker 3: The other thing that's quite Let's just say something that

1289
01:05:07,360 --> 01:05:09,160
Speaker 3: people would know about me and say, if you look

1290
01:05:09,160 --> 01:05:13,240
Speaker 3: at your fingers right, like turn your hands palm side up,

1291
01:05:14,080 --> 01:05:16,400
Speaker 3: and if you look at the little creases on your

1292
01:05:16,520 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 3: individual fingers, right, yeah, how many can you count, like

1293
01:05:21,320 --> 01:05:22,640
Speaker 3: defined creases?

1294
01:05:23,160 --> 01:05:26,360
Speaker 2: So there's like two at the base, yeah, two at

1295
01:05:26,360 --> 01:05:28,640
Speaker 2: the first knuckle, and then one at the next knuckle.

1296
01:05:29,040 --> 01:05:31,800
Speaker 3: Mostly show me your put your palm to your thing.

1297
01:05:32,400 --> 01:05:35,040
Speaker 3: So let's say, like look at your pinky, right, You've

1298
01:05:35,040 --> 01:05:37,360
Speaker 3: got like one at the base and then like that

1299
01:05:37,560 --> 01:05:40,120
Speaker 3: sort of like two lines that are connected in the

1300
01:05:40,120 --> 01:05:41,400
Speaker 3: middle and the one of the top. So we could

1301
01:05:41,440 --> 01:05:46,240
Speaker 3: just say three defined points, right, yeah, yeah, I have four?

1302
01:05:46,640 --> 01:05:51,960
Speaker 3: What you've got one? Two, three? Four? And I had this.

1303
01:05:52,000 --> 01:05:53,240
Speaker 3: I don't know if it was a theory, but when

1304
01:05:53,240 --> 01:05:54,680
Speaker 3: I was younger, I used to say that I was

1305
01:05:54,880 --> 01:05:58,600
Speaker 3: definitely like an alien princess kidnapped, right, so.

1306
01:05:58,240 --> 01:06:02,840
Speaker 1: Nick out of this world unique just you.

1307
01:06:02,800 --> 01:06:05,360
Speaker 3: Know, it happens. But I used to say it as

1308
01:06:05,400 --> 01:06:07,000
Speaker 3: a joke, but I was just so know that nobody

1309
01:06:07,040 --> 01:06:08,600
Speaker 3: would believe me, and like, why is that so out

1310
01:06:08,640 --> 01:06:11,000
Speaker 3: of the realm of possibility that I could be an

1311
01:06:11,080 --> 01:06:12,920
Speaker 3: alien princess who was set down here to do a

1312
01:06:12,960 --> 01:06:15,000
Speaker 3: reconnaissance mission. It's not impossible.

1313
01:06:15,120 --> 01:06:17,680
Speaker 2: You could still not have been activated, Like you don't know,

1314
01:06:17,840 --> 01:06:19,600
Speaker 2: that's not still going to happen one day.

1315
01:06:19,720 --> 01:06:21,919
Speaker 3: But there was a point. I remember I had bought

1316
01:06:21,960 --> 01:06:25,280
Speaker 3: this like this really shitty bag from like Ruby Shoes

1317
01:06:25,360 --> 01:06:29,600
Speaker 3: or something, and the straps of the bag were connected

1318
01:06:29,640 --> 01:06:32,800
Speaker 3: by these like little like clippy hooks, and the clippy

1319
01:06:32,800 --> 01:06:34,800
Speaker 3: hooks always used to like separate from the bag, and

1320
01:06:34,880 --> 01:06:36,640
Speaker 3: it was just this crazy thing. But one time the

1321
01:06:36,640 --> 01:06:40,160
Speaker 3: clippy hook that connected the straps of the bag separated

1322
01:06:40,200 --> 01:06:41,600
Speaker 3: and like impaled my finger.

1323
01:06:41,760 --> 01:06:42,400
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1324
01:06:42,520 --> 01:06:45,240
Speaker 3: And so as my friends were kind of like, you know,

1325
01:06:45,320 --> 01:06:48,160
Speaker 3: helping me, you know, nursing me back to health, you know,

1326
01:06:48,240 --> 01:06:50,880
Speaker 3: in the in the food court in high school, somebody

1327
01:06:50,920 --> 01:06:52,760
Speaker 3: pointed out that I had extra lines.

1328
01:06:52,880 --> 01:06:55,560
Speaker 1: Wait, someone else noticed that, Yeah.

1329
01:06:55,920 --> 01:06:57,720
Speaker 3: As because because as we were like digging in and

1330
01:06:57,720 --> 01:06:59,480
Speaker 3: everyone was holding my hands and be like, oh my god,

1331
01:06:59,480 --> 01:07:01,560
Speaker 3: do you need to get everyone's like why do your

1332
01:07:01,560 --> 01:07:05,240
Speaker 3: fingers look so long? Like what's that about? And I

1333
01:07:05,280 --> 01:07:06,760
Speaker 3: was like, oh, I don't know, And so we started

1334
01:07:06,760 --> 01:07:10,720
Speaker 3: comparing all of our hands and saying, oh shit, I've

1335
01:07:10,720 --> 01:07:15,760
Speaker 3: got extra lines but not an extra knuckle. And every

1336
01:07:15,800 --> 01:07:19,400
Speaker 3: now and then I'll remember this really special trait and

1337
01:07:19,480 --> 01:07:22,440
Speaker 3: I will google it. I'll like go to like parmestree

1338
01:07:22,560 --> 01:07:26,760
Speaker 3: dot com and figure out like what what it actually means,

1339
01:07:26,760 --> 01:07:30,280
Speaker 3: because some people just have an extra line on one finger, and.

1340
01:07:30,320 --> 01:07:35,760
Speaker 2: You have it on majority because you're special and different.

1341
01:07:38,160 --> 01:07:41,360
Speaker 3: It's been confirmed, so I feel like it's an identifier

1342
01:07:41,400 --> 01:07:45,080
Speaker 3: of sorts. And eventually, when the aliens come down, they

1343
01:07:45,080 --> 01:07:48,240
Speaker 3: start to segregate us by value, and because we're all

1344
01:07:48,320 --> 01:07:52,280
Speaker 3: gross gremlin humans to them, the equivalent of like germs,

1345
01:07:52,640 --> 01:07:54,720
Speaker 3: they're not going to know how to you know, segregate

1346
01:07:54,800 --> 01:07:57,919
Speaker 3: us by our skills or our perceived worth. They're going

1347
01:07:57,960 --> 01:08:00,960
Speaker 3: to look for physical characteristics. And I'm hoping thing that

1348
01:08:01,160 --> 01:08:06,200
Speaker 3: long fingers like theirs will be a point of you know, harmony, right.

1349
01:08:06,480 --> 01:08:08,320
Speaker 2: I mean, I also think they'll look at your furniture

1350
01:08:08,320 --> 01:08:13,720
Speaker 2: collection and go, yes, she can make all the draws

1351
01:08:13,760 --> 01:08:14,240
Speaker 2: in space.

1352
01:08:15,360 --> 01:08:18,240
Speaker 3: Can you imagine aliens would think we're just such dummies,

1353
01:08:18,360 --> 01:08:22,040
Speaker 3: like this is what you do with your time? Absurd idiot.

1354
01:08:22,520 --> 01:08:24,760
Speaker 1: They would look at like Instagram and just be like,

1355
01:08:24,840 --> 01:08:25,800
Speaker 1: what is happening here?

1356
01:08:26,280 --> 01:08:31,559
Speaker 3: Stupid people? So that's one thing, and that's two things.

1357
01:08:31,920 --> 01:08:35,559
Speaker 3: And I would say the third one is, I mean,

1358
01:08:35,560 --> 01:08:37,439
Speaker 3: what don't people know about me?

1359
01:08:39,200 --> 01:08:39,400
Speaker 2: Oh?

1360
01:08:39,520 --> 01:08:41,479
Speaker 3: I would say, I mean maybe they do or don't know.

1361
01:08:41,720 --> 01:08:43,880
Speaker 3: So up until maybe like a year ago, going me

1362
01:08:43,960 --> 01:08:48,479
Speaker 3: two years, I had this like preoccupation with thinking that

1363
01:08:48,800 --> 01:08:51,479
Speaker 3: over emoting was a bad thing. I used to be

1364
01:08:51,560 --> 01:08:56,479
Speaker 3: such an emotions police officer. If people around me were

1365
01:08:56,720 --> 01:09:01,759
Speaker 3: over emoting, laughing too loudly, crying too much, like doing

1366
01:09:01,840 --> 01:09:05,960
Speaker 3: anything too much, I would just get so physically uncomfortable

1367
01:09:06,280 --> 01:09:08,960
Speaker 3: and have to feel like I should police that environment.

1368
01:09:09,280 --> 01:09:12,200
Speaker 3: Often I didn't, but like off these days, and do

1369
01:09:12,200 --> 01:09:13,519
Speaker 3: you know what it is, I've had to like go

1370
01:09:13,640 --> 01:09:16,599
Speaker 3: back into like the recesses of my mind because as

1371
01:09:16,640 --> 01:09:19,000
Speaker 3: some like, if you look at me, I'm not a

1372
01:09:19,040 --> 01:09:23,160
Speaker 3: conservative person, right Like I'm not someone who presents as

1373
01:09:23,160 --> 01:09:26,800
Speaker 3: being conservative in any way by like my ideologies, by

1374
01:09:26,840 --> 01:09:29,800
Speaker 3: the way I govern myself, whatever. But I definitely have,

1375
01:09:30,680 --> 01:09:33,560
Speaker 3: like from just growing up, had it drilled into me

1376
01:09:33,760 --> 01:09:38,040
Speaker 3: by my mom to be appropriate and like conducting yourself

1377
01:09:38,080 --> 01:09:43,080
Speaker 3: in an appropriate way. Is very important, and because so

1378
01:09:43,240 --> 01:09:46,639
Speaker 3: much of my life is unconventional, I am conducting myself

1379
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:50,559
Speaker 3: appropriately for what is expected of my lifestyle right of

1380
01:09:50,600 --> 01:09:54,400
Speaker 3: the situation. But when I move into spaces where the

1381
01:09:54,479 --> 01:09:58,519
Speaker 3: standard is conventionality and there is like an appropriate way

1382
01:09:58,560 --> 01:10:01,240
Speaker 3: to act, I get super power annoid. So if we're

1383
01:10:01,280 --> 01:10:03,840
Speaker 3: in public and like my friends are talking too loudly,

1384
01:10:03,880 --> 01:10:06,800
Speaker 3: I'm like, hey, sister, can you.

1385
01:10:06,600 --> 01:10:09,000
Speaker 1: Oh my god, no, and they just be like, FLA,

1386
01:10:13,240 --> 01:10:14,160
Speaker 1: that's amazing.

1387
01:10:14,479 --> 01:10:17,360
Speaker 3: It's so sad, but I've been working on it. It's

1388
01:10:17,400 --> 01:10:19,559
Speaker 3: definitely something. Or like if I'm in the bank and

1389
01:10:19,600 --> 01:10:23,120
Speaker 3: someone is like too loudly, I'm like, oh no no

1390
01:10:23,120 --> 01:10:25,559
Speaker 3: no no no no no no no. Or if I'm

1391
01:10:25,560 --> 01:10:27,920
Speaker 3: at a bar and somebody is like not understanding that

1392
01:10:27,920 --> 01:10:30,360
Speaker 3: you've got to have your money out ready or your

1393
01:10:30,400 --> 01:10:33,400
Speaker 3: card and you've got to like decide before your turn,

1394
01:10:34,120 --> 01:10:36,360
Speaker 3: Like I freak out. I actually.

1395
01:10:37,640 --> 01:10:39,280
Speaker 2: House, Well, that's what I was just about to say.

1396
01:10:39,320 --> 01:10:41,960
Speaker 2: I love how particular your examples are as well. You're like,

1397
01:10:42,280 --> 01:10:44,760
Speaker 2: so I'm generally like you know X, y Z, but

1398
01:10:44,800 --> 01:10:48,559
Speaker 2: then you'll follow up with like the most specific example ever,

1399
01:10:48,680 --> 01:10:50,880
Speaker 2: like at a bar when you don't have your credit

1400
01:10:50,880 --> 01:10:53,040
Speaker 2: card ready for the person card, and I'm like, oh

1401
01:10:53,120 --> 01:10:53,760
Speaker 2: my god, I love you.

1402
01:10:54,600 --> 01:10:57,880
Speaker 3: Frustrated. That's frustrated. You're like frazzled.

1403
01:10:59,000 --> 01:11:00,639
Speaker 1: It's just totally as a fuck.

1404
01:11:02,960 --> 01:11:05,479
Speaker 2: So before the very last question, I just have one

1405
01:11:05,840 --> 01:11:09,559
Speaker 2: about something that people probably know but some people might

1406
01:11:09,600 --> 01:11:12,519
Speaker 2: not know. Where did flex Mammy come from?

1407
01:11:12,680 --> 01:11:13,519
Speaker 1: How did you choose that?

1408
01:11:13,640 --> 01:11:17,040
Speaker 3: Naw? Yeah, See everybody wants a really like fun story,

1409
01:11:17,080 --> 01:11:19,800
Speaker 3: but whoever has a fun story about the way their

1410
01:11:19,880 --> 01:11:23,280
Speaker 3: name came to me? Not one single person. No. For me,

1411
01:11:23,680 --> 01:11:26,880
Speaker 3: it was because the transition from being a person who

1412
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:29,920
Speaker 3: played music occasionally in a club to being a full

1413
01:11:29,960 --> 01:11:32,960
Speaker 3: time DJ pretty much happened over the span of a month.

1414
01:11:33,560 --> 01:11:35,479
Speaker 3: It was like when it rained, it poured. The jobs

1415
01:11:35,479 --> 01:11:38,559
Speaker 3: were coming left, right and center and back in those

1416
01:11:38,680 --> 01:11:45,760
Speaker 3: days meaning like twenty fourteen, perhaps yeah, Instagram was a

1417
01:11:45,800 --> 01:11:48,200
Speaker 3: sing but it was definitely a type of person that

1418
01:11:48,360 --> 01:11:52,720
Speaker 3: used Instagram, so photographer or like a person who was

1419
01:11:53,160 --> 01:11:56,160
Speaker 3: a model or a brand builder, or you might have

1420
01:11:56,200 --> 01:11:58,320
Speaker 3: been a normal person who just didn't post. But there

1421
01:11:58,360 --> 01:12:01,960
Speaker 3: were definitely like particular ways of like operating. And I

1422
01:12:02,000 --> 01:12:04,080
Speaker 3: had an Instagram, but I never posted. I just lurked

1423
01:12:04,080 --> 01:12:07,200
Speaker 3: and stuff. So I thought, like an indicator of being right,

1424
01:12:07,680 --> 01:12:09,759
Speaker 3: just very I don't know if it's on brand, off brand,

1425
01:12:09,760 --> 01:12:13,320
Speaker 3: who knows, we're figuring it out, but I knew that

1426
01:12:13,479 --> 01:12:18,599
Speaker 3: like a key component of the a DJ was having

1427
01:12:18,880 --> 01:12:22,120
Speaker 3: you know, social media and you know, with specific names

1428
01:12:22,160 --> 01:12:24,560
Speaker 3: and stuff. So I remember being in a like a

1429
01:12:24,680 --> 01:12:28,400
Speaker 3: round table with the friends that I ran that club

1430
01:12:28,479 --> 01:12:29,880
Speaker 3: night with, and I was like, Fuck, I need a

1431
01:12:29,960 --> 01:12:31,760
Speaker 3: DJ name. Can we just quickly do a little like

1432
01:12:32,120 --> 01:12:34,120
Speaker 3: a little hour of power. Let's just get one so

1433
01:12:34,120 --> 01:12:37,120
Speaker 3: we can quickly get the Instagram and get the Facebook.

1434
01:12:37,280 --> 01:12:42,640
Speaker 3: And at that time, flex was a like I don't know,

1435
01:12:42,680 --> 01:12:46,719
Speaker 3: like a colloquial term use like lit and sleek and.

1436
01:12:47,720 --> 01:12:49,200
Speaker 1: Whatever else mad flex bra.

1437
01:12:49,479 --> 01:12:52,120
Speaker 3: Yeah, you know, it was a thing. And so I

1438
01:12:52,160 --> 01:12:54,120
Speaker 3: was like, I want to use flex because I feel

1439
01:12:54,160 --> 01:12:57,559
Speaker 3: like that, like the connotation's good, it's easy to spell,

1440
01:12:57,960 --> 01:13:02,040
Speaker 3: it's snetic, like it's so easy. But naturally, flex is

1441
01:13:02,080 --> 01:13:07,360
Speaker 3: so intertwined with the fitness industry and like the chiropractical industry,

1442
01:13:08,240 --> 01:13:12,240
Speaker 3: and like the muscleman industry, so naturally all of the

1443
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:15,080
Speaker 3: handles were taken. I'm pretty sure there was a DJ

1444
01:13:15,240 --> 01:13:16,960
Speaker 3: flex already.

1445
01:13:16,640 --> 01:13:18,160
Speaker 1: Ah yeah, probably.

1446
01:13:18,360 --> 01:13:22,120
Speaker 3: So the roundtable then transitioned into Okay, we need like

1447
01:13:22,160 --> 01:13:25,960
Speaker 3: a prefix or a suffix to like make it yours.

1448
01:13:26,400 --> 01:13:28,240
Speaker 3: So like, you know, what about like little flex your

1449
01:13:28,280 --> 01:13:30,880
Speaker 3: name is Lilian Flex. And I was like, it feels

1450
01:13:30,880 --> 01:13:32,160
Speaker 3: like a bit of a parody. It could be like

1451
01:13:32,200 --> 01:13:34,680
Speaker 3: on the nose a bit. Yeah, so we're like, you know,

1452
01:13:34,680 --> 01:13:35,920
Speaker 3: it could be. And I was like, I just want

1453
01:13:35,960 --> 01:13:39,160
Speaker 3: something that like is very simple that eventually, if I

1454
01:13:39,200 --> 01:13:41,000
Speaker 3: don't need to use it, I can just take it off,

1455
01:13:41,040 --> 01:13:44,519
Speaker 3: so like a baby or like a And it was

1456
01:13:44,520 --> 01:13:47,320
Speaker 3: at the time everyone was called like young something you know,

1457
01:13:47,600 --> 01:13:49,679
Speaker 3: or like you know, So I was like, what about

1458
01:13:49,720 --> 01:13:51,720
Speaker 3: like a baby or like a mar And someone's like,

1459
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:54,400
Speaker 3: what about mammy? And I was like, fuck, yeah, let's

1460
01:13:54,439 --> 01:13:55,760
Speaker 3: just do that.

1461
01:13:57,200 --> 01:13:58,160
Speaker 1: It was so random.

1462
01:13:58,880 --> 01:14:01,519
Speaker 3: We go onto Instagram to get flex Mammy the handle

1463
01:14:01,880 --> 01:14:04,880
Speaker 3: and it's taken how but at this point we had

1464
01:14:04,880 --> 01:14:07,560
Speaker 3: already committed to flex Mammy, like we had done the

1465
01:14:07,640 --> 01:14:10,760
Speaker 3: round table, had gotten everyone's thinking for too much time

1466
01:14:10,800 --> 01:14:13,439
Speaker 3: at this point that we just had to stick with it.

1467
01:14:13,960 --> 01:14:16,479
Speaker 3: And we went on this guy's page, like this black guy.

1468
01:14:16,479 --> 01:14:18,160
Speaker 3: I don't know where he's from, no buyer, He's on

1469
01:14:18,240 --> 01:14:23,160
Speaker 3: private and he has like a thousands a thousand followers.

1470
01:14:23,200 --> 01:14:25,120
Speaker 3: Now my boyfriend checked the other day to make fun

1471
01:14:25,160 --> 01:14:28,120
Speaker 3: of it, but back then he probably had one hundred

1472
01:14:28,160 --> 01:14:31,360
Speaker 3: and something followers. I was like, do I ask him?

1473
01:14:31,600 --> 01:14:35,879
Speaker 3: Because I remember somebody had bought Kanye West dot com

1474
01:14:36,040 --> 01:14:38,840
Speaker 3: like his domain, and he ended up paying them a

1475
01:14:38,880 --> 01:14:41,680
Speaker 3: significant amount of money to get the domain back. So

1476
01:14:41,760 --> 01:14:43,400
Speaker 3: I was like, I don't want to be extorted.

1477
01:14:44,439 --> 01:14:46,720
Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my god, but you need that name, but

1478
01:14:46,760 --> 01:14:48,800
Speaker 1: I need the name. This is my name now.

1479
01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,240
Speaker 3: So I just decided to be Flex dot Marmy on

1480
01:14:51,280 --> 01:14:53,599
Speaker 3: Instagram and took the rest of the handles and everything else,

1481
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:57,960
Speaker 3: and then that's it. Amazing, But it was purely it

1482
01:14:57,600 --> 01:15:01,720
Speaker 3: was It was a manufacturer name. It wasn't never like

1483
01:15:01,720 --> 01:15:05,040
Speaker 3: a nickname, wasn't anything. It was manufactured for the purpose

1484
01:15:05,120 --> 01:15:07,880
Speaker 3: of needing to be perceived as a brand. And if

1485
01:15:07,920 --> 01:15:10,320
Speaker 3: I knew it was going to stick and be a thing,

1486
01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:12,640
Speaker 3: then I would have considered it differently.

1487
01:15:12,400 --> 01:15:13,519
Speaker 1: But then it might not have come out.

1488
01:15:13,560 --> 01:15:16,280
Speaker 3: So well, yeah, who knows. But now it's just Flex.

1489
01:15:16,320 --> 01:15:18,280
Speaker 3: I mean, everybody just calls me Flex. The mummy is

1490
01:15:18,320 --> 01:15:20,160
Speaker 3: like a full government name, like it's so formal.

1491
01:15:20,280 --> 01:15:22,240
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, it's like that is my full name

1492
01:15:22,560 --> 01:15:32,200
Speaker 2: when you're in trouble flex mummy.

1493
01:15:28,200 --> 01:15:30,080
Speaker 3: Who would have thought Nat?

1494
01:15:30,439 --> 01:15:32,320
Speaker 2: Yeah? But you know what, I kind of think that

1495
01:15:32,840 --> 01:15:34,920
Speaker 2: if you had labored over it too much and known

1496
01:15:34,960 --> 01:15:36,439
Speaker 2: how far it would go, you might not have ever

1497
01:15:36,520 --> 01:15:39,240
Speaker 2: decided on something. Of course, I love that you were

1498
01:15:39,320 --> 01:15:41,160
Speaker 2: just like, yeah, that'll do it. And now it's like

1499
01:15:41,240 --> 01:15:42,000
Speaker 2: freaking amazing.

1500
01:15:43,520 --> 01:15:46,120
Speaker 3: I mean, one day I'll retransition back into Lillian when

1501
01:15:46,240 --> 01:15:50,200
Speaker 3: it serves me and suits my life spam, but for now,

1502
01:15:50,240 --> 01:15:50,680
Speaker 3: this will do.

1503
01:15:51,080 --> 01:15:54,720
Speaker 2: It's also such a beautiful, delicate name, Lilian. It is

1504
01:15:54,760 --> 01:15:58,800
Speaker 2: like flex is like so strong and like really powerful word,

1505
01:15:58,840 --> 01:15:59,760
Speaker 2: and then Lilian's like.

1506
01:16:01,160 --> 01:16:05,040
Speaker 1: It's just so like such a contrast.

1507
01:16:09,400 --> 01:16:11,519
Speaker 2: And very last question, since I love quote so much,

1508
01:16:11,560 --> 01:16:13,040
Speaker 2: what's your favorite quote?

1509
01:16:13,400 --> 01:16:16,080
Speaker 3: Ooh wow? Quote?

1510
01:16:16,520 --> 01:16:17,519
Speaker 1: Big question? I know.

1511
01:16:19,400 --> 01:16:20,640
Speaker 3: Can I quote myself?

1512
01:16:21,000 --> 01:16:25,519
Speaker 1: Absolutely? Can? That would make it even better.

1513
01:16:26,600 --> 01:16:29,000
Speaker 3: I've been saying for years, and I'm pretty sure it's

1514
01:16:29,000 --> 01:16:31,320
Speaker 3: saying that my mum would have said in one of

1515
01:16:31,320 --> 01:16:35,679
Speaker 3: her amazing you know sermons to me. But it's simply

1516
01:16:35,760 --> 01:16:38,800
Speaker 3: if you know better, you do better. And it's too

1517
01:16:38,840 --> 01:16:42,160
Speaker 3: promped because on the first hand, it asks you to

1518
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:45,040
Speaker 3: kind of be a little bit more forgiving and forthcoming,

1519
01:16:45,320 --> 01:16:48,240
Speaker 3: forgiving and sort of empathetic people who don't know and

1520
01:16:48,560 --> 01:16:50,640
Speaker 3: therefore don't do or act in the way that you

1521
01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:53,400
Speaker 3: deem to be appropriate or good. So when you come

1522
01:16:53,400 --> 01:16:55,519
Speaker 3: across somebody who's just a little bit ignorant, and you're like,

1523
01:16:56,720 --> 01:16:58,599
Speaker 3: if you know, if you knew better, you probably would

1524
01:16:58,640 --> 01:17:01,360
Speaker 3: behave in a different way, you know, So let me

1525
01:17:01,439 --> 01:17:04,479
Speaker 3: hold some sort of like empathetic space for you. I try.

1526
01:17:04,920 --> 01:17:09,040
Speaker 3: And then the second prong of that is, in order

1527
01:17:09,080 --> 01:17:11,479
Speaker 3: to ever get to a point of evolving into a

1528
01:17:11,479 --> 01:17:15,040
Speaker 3: better version of yourself, you have to learn and educate

1529
01:17:15,080 --> 01:17:17,639
Speaker 3: and explore. You just don't get to that point without

1530
01:17:17,680 --> 01:17:20,400
Speaker 3: having to do the groundwork. And I feel as though

1531
01:17:20,439 --> 01:17:22,599
Speaker 3: a lot of us assume we're just going to land

1532
01:17:22,720 --> 01:17:28,800
Speaker 3: and arrive into actualization and it's not happening. So we

1533
01:17:28,920 --> 01:17:32,599
Speaker 3: have to increase what we know to improve the quality

1534
01:17:32,640 --> 01:17:33,519
Speaker 3: of what we do.

1535
01:17:34,000 --> 01:17:35,760
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that's such a good one. And this

1536
01:17:35,880 --> 01:17:42,160
Speaker 2: is like a weird admittle admittle admission of awards are hard, Yeah,

1537
01:17:42,160 --> 01:17:44,680
Speaker 2: but it's a weird admission of how creepy I get

1538
01:17:44,680 --> 01:17:46,479
Speaker 2: in my research. But I have another quote from your

1539
01:17:46,520 --> 01:17:49,599
Speaker 2: mum that I also think is wonderful. Yeah, never do

1540
01:17:49,640 --> 01:17:52,240
Speaker 2: a job fifty percent of the way as if someone

1541
01:17:52,320 --> 01:17:53,759
Speaker 2: was going to come and finish the rest.

1542
01:17:53,920 --> 01:17:54,240
Speaker 3: Yeap.

1543
01:17:54,520 --> 01:17:55,519
Speaker 1: Oh my god.

1544
01:17:55,680 --> 01:17:59,519
Speaker 3: She drilled that into me and it took me so

1545
01:17:59,720 --> 01:18:03,719
Speaker 3: long to understand. And for context. My mom single mom,

1546
01:18:03,760 --> 01:18:07,080
Speaker 3: and she raised three kids right, and she was always

1547
01:18:07,160 --> 01:18:11,000
Speaker 3: really good at giving us context for our experience, like

1548
01:18:11,200 --> 01:18:14,120
Speaker 3: the reason why you can't have that nintenne ds because

1549
01:18:14,120 --> 01:18:16,360
Speaker 3: I can't afford it. This is how much I make

1550
01:18:16,439 --> 01:18:19,040
Speaker 3: an hour. It cost this much to rent our home.

1551
01:18:19,400 --> 01:18:23,120
Speaker 3: Your school fees are this much. Therefore I can't afford it.

1552
01:18:23,479 --> 01:18:25,960
Speaker 3: So And it was interesting though, because sometimes she would

1553
01:18:26,000 --> 01:18:27,920
Speaker 3: just ask us to do things without context, and we

1554
01:18:28,040 --> 01:18:31,200
Speaker 3: just struggled with the reasoning behind it. So every now

1555
01:18:31,200 --> 01:18:32,760
Speaker 3: and then I'd be in my family home and I

1556
01:18:32,760 --> 01:18:35,400
Speaker 3: hadn't lived there since I was at twenty, but she

1557
01:18:35,439 --> 01:18:37,240
Speaker 3: would ask me, It called me and be like, hey,

1558
01:18:37,280 --> 01:18:39,360
Speaker 3: can you take the frozen chook out of the freezer

1559
01:18:39,520 --> 01:18:43,920
Speaker 3: so it can thaw? Or can you take the clothes

1560
01:18:43,920 --> 01:18:47,400
Speaker 3: off the line or something right, And in my literal mind,

1561
01:18:47,760 --> 01:18:51,280
Speaker 3: sometimes I forget, or sometimes I would just do what

1562
01:18:51,400 --> 01:18:54,040
Speaker 3: she asked and not finish it. So I would take

1563
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:56,360
Speaker 3: the clothes off the line, but not fold them, not

1564
01:18:56,560 --> 01:18:59,840
Speaker 3: give people their clothes, And then it just makes more

1565
01:18:59,840 --> 01:19:02,000
Speaker 3: work for everyone because now she's just used to energy

1566
01:19:02,040 --> 01:19:04,720
Speaker 3: to tell me what I did wrong, why I need

1567
01:19:04,760 --> 01:19:08,680
Speaker 3: to fix it. I'm defensive now I'm feel attacked, and

1568
01:19:08,800 --> 01:19:10,680
Speaker 3: all these things happened when it could have been so

1569
01:19:10,800 --> 01:19:13,599
Speaker 3: easy and so simple. And so I remember one day

1570
01:19:13,640 --> 01:19:15,519
Speaker 3: she just kind of like blew up and she was like,

1571
01:19:15,560 --> 01:19:17,720
Speaker 3: the reason why I tell you that you need to

1572
01:19:17,760 --> 01:19:20,880
Speaker 3: do things the full way is because not because one

1573
01:19:20,960 --> 01:19:23,800
Speaker 3: day they won't be someone to magically help you, but

1574
01:19:23,880 --> 01:19:28,960
Speaker 3: because it's a reflection of of how you navigate the world. Like,

1575
01:19:29,280 --> 01:19:31,840
Speaker 3: understand the privilege it is to have access to do shit.

1576
01:19:32,240 --> 01:19:34,400
Speaker 3: Understand how easy a life can be when you take

1577
01:19:34,479 --> 01:19:37,800
Speaker 3: full control of the outcome of what you're doing. If

1578
01:19:37,800 --> 01:19:40,040
Speaker 3: you're constantly waiting for so and so to come through

1579
01:19:40,080 --> 01:19:41,679
Speaker 3: and fix it and help you, then you're gonna feel

1580
01:19:41,680 --> 01:19:44,800
Speaker 3: like you have no agency to do anything. So like,

1581
01:19:44,800 --> 01:19:46,320
Speaker 3: and this is why I always get so frush ated

1582
01:19:46,320 --> 01:19:48,400
Speaker 3: when somebody is like, hey, flex, how do I start

1583
01:19:48,439 --> 01:19:51,360
Speaker 3: a podcast? It's like, is this fifty percent of the

1584
01:19:51,400 --> 01:19:53,200
Speaker 3: work you think is going to happen? Because I promise

1585
01:19:53,240 --> 01:19:55,680
Speaker 3: you there's like six more line items that need to

1586
01:19:55,680 --> 01:20:01,920
Speaker 3: be ticked off. Honestly changes It changes your worldview when

1587
01:20:01,920 --> 01:20:04,080
Speaker 3: you're like, okay, in how many ways do I wait

1588
01:20:04,080 --> 01:20:06,439
Speaker 3: for somebody to come and finish the job? You know,

1589
01:20:06,520 --> 01:20:09,200
Speaker 3: like when you don't tell your partner fully what you

1590
01:20:09,280 --> 01:20:11,400
Speaker 3: expected them because you just think that they're going to

1591
01:20:11,400 --> 01:20:15,080
Speaker 3: connect the dots themselves, Or when you don't fully express

1592
01:20:15,080 --> 01:20:16,840
Speaker 3: how you feel to someone and I see they're going

1593
01:20:16,920 --> 01:20:19,880
Speaker 3: to figure it out. Or when you you know, when

1594
01:20:19,920 --> 01:20:22,840
Speaker 3: you go into a hairdresser and you're like I just

1595
01:20:22,880 --> 01:20:24,559
Speaker 3: want highlights and like what kind of like, oh, don't

1596
01:20:24,560 --> 01:20:27,000
Speaker 3: want I trust you? These are all ways you make

1597
01:20:27,040 --> 01:20:30,320
Speaker 3: your life so much more difficult. Just finish the job,

1598
01:20:30,439 --> 01:20:32,760
Speaker 3: finish the sentence, finish the thought, like, do it all

1599
01:20:32,800 --> 01:20:35,559
Speaker 3: in full and at least you can be so much

1600
01:20:35,560 --> 01:20:38,040
Speaker 3: more responsible for the outcome. But that one, it took

1601
01:20:38,160 --> 01:20:40,800
Speaker 3: me so long to figure it out, Like what do

1602
01:20:40,880 --> 01:20:42,639
Speaker 3: you mean I'm not doing things half done?

1603
01:20:42,880 --> 01:20:45,440
Speaker 1: I took it, take it out.

1604
01:20:45,600 --> 01:20:47,880
Speaker 3: She's don't you know what happened with the chicken? Aren't

1605
01:20:47,880 --> 01:20:49,720
Speaker 3: I going to make stew with it? Why couldn't you

1606
01:20:49,800 --> 01:20:52,120
Speaker 3: cut it? Why couldn't you start cutting the onion. Why

1607
01:20:52,160 --> 01:20:52,680
Speaker 3: couldn't you?

1608
01:20:53,160 --> 01:20:56,160
Speaker 2: And that's like, ah man, oh my god, that's like

1609
01:20:56,600 --> 01:20:57,839
Speaker 2: about my favorite.

1610
01:20:58,000 --> 01:20:58,200
Speaker 3: Yeah.

1611
01:20:58,240 --> 01:21:01,760
Speaker 2: It's like literally the four hundred seventy second nugget of

1612
01:21:01,800 --> 01:21:05,320
Speaker 2: wisdom I have just taken from you today. Flex, you

1613
01:21:05,360 --> 01:21:10,240
Speaker 2: are extraordinary one and a billion and so so grateful

1614
01:21:10,240 --> 01:21:12,639
Speaker 2: for this chat and every chat that you have ever.

1615
01:21:13,200 --> 01:21:14,840
Speaker 1: I look up to you so much and I am

1616
01:21:14,920 --> 01:21:16,160
Speaker 1: so so grateful for your time.

1617
01:21:16,479 --> 01:21:18,960
Speaker 3: Thank you. This is so fun. I love it. I know,

1618
01:21:19,200 --> 01:21:19,680
Speaker 3: so much fun.

1619
01:21:19,680 --> 01:21:21,599
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh my god, I literally went like half

1620
01:21:21,600 --> 01:21:23,160
Speaker 2: an hour over. I'm so sorry, but it was just

1621
01:21:23,200 --> 01:21:24,679
Speaker 2: so easy, so much fun.

1622
01:21:25,000 --> 01:21:28,720
Speaker 3: When the content's good, the content's good. Can't help it, absolutely.

1623
01:21:28,800 --> 01:21:31,400
Speaker 2: I mean I can't constrain flex Mammy's content. Like, if

1624
01:21:31,400 --> 01:21:33,360
Speaker 2: it's gonna come out, it's gonna come out. She's a performer.

1625
01:21:33,400 --> 01:21:39,439
Speaker 2: What can I say? Three? Okay, So, firstly, especially while

1626
01:21:39,439 --> 01:21:43,519
Speaker 2: we're still in isolation to varying degrees, everyone go and

1627
01:21:43,600 --> 01:21:47,440
Speaker 2: buy yourself Reflex the game. It is such an incredibly

1628
01:21:47,479 --> 01:21:51,519
Speaker 2: powerful and fun self development tool. Is flex slash Lil

1629
01:21:51,680 --> 01:21:54,200
Speaker 2: not one of the most fascinating people to listen to.

1630
01:21:54,680 --> 01:21:57,160
Speaker 2: I could chat to her about our ponderings on life

1631
01:21:57,200 --> 01:21:58,639
Speaker 2: for days on end, and I.

1632
01:21:58,680 --> 01:22:00,200
Speaker 1: Very nearly did in this one.

1633
01:22:00,600 --> 01:22:02,880
Speaker 2: As always, I know she would love to hear. If

1634
01:22:02,920 --> 01:22:06,080
Speaker 2: any of you had any revelations or takeaways from this chat,

1635
01:22:06,439 --> 01:22:09,439
Speaker 2: please screenshot while you listen and share those, tagging at

1636
01:22:09,439 --> 01:22:12,880
Speaker 2: Flex dot Marmyan myself if you enjoyed. If you want

1637
01:22:12,960 --> 01:22:15,960
Speaker 2: more from Flex, remember she also has her own podcast,

1638
01:22:16,040 --> 01:22:18,840
Speaker 2: among many other things. Just head to her page for

1639
01:22:19,080 --> 01:22:22,439
Speaker 2: all the info. Hope you're having an amazing week and

1640
01:22:22,560 --> 01:22:26,520
Speaker 2: are seizing your yeay