Speaker 1: You're listening to a Mom with Me podcast. Muma Me
Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and waters. This
Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on Sometimes in life, you might feel
Speaker 1: like you're missing a certain something, but not up for
Speaker 1: the fuss and mess and commitment the real relationship may
Speaker 1: bring into this situationship a bit of fun with a
Speaker 1: nice person who makes you feel good, no strings attached.
Speaker 2: Very fun, very up for anything. Like he was very
Speaker 2: easy going. Like if I said I wanted to go
Speaker 2: to the driving range or something like that, he'd be like,
Speaker 2: let's go.
Speaker 3: I want to go out for dinner.
Speaker 2: He'd be like, yep, I'll take you, Like I'll pick
Speaker 2: you up at like seven, Like.
Speaker 3: It was very easy.
Speaker 2: So I think that's why I was like, Okay, cool,
Speaker 2: this is not only convenient, but he's treating me really,
Speaker 2: really well.
Speaker 1: But life often as a way of making even their messy.
Speaker 1: Sometimes it's because of feelings get involved. Sometimes it's because
Speaker 1: it's harder to get out of than expected, And sometimes
Speaker 1: it's because it turns out to not be the fun, loving,
Speaker 1: easygoing situation you thought you were getting.
Speaker 2: If this guy literally did not even care that I
Speaker 2: was telling him to leave me alone, and still showing up.
Speaker 3: Then what else was he capable of?
Speaker 2: At the time, I didn't really understand how bad it
Speaker 2: was and how bad it was about to get.
Speaker 1: I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex
Speaker 1: Come with me as we dive into a collection of
Speaker 1: unconventional stories about relationships past through the eyes and the
Speaker 1: hearts of the very people who lived them. At twenty eight,
Speaker 1: Giselle was living the definition of her best life. She'd
Speaker 1: moved away from home, made a new wide group of friends,
Speaker 1: and went from working as a fitness coach to jim
Speaker 1: to starting and running her own success It's full online
Speaker 1: coaching business. She sums it up best herself.
Speaker 3: I was thriving, I was living in a beautiful.
Speaker 2: House, I had lots of friends, and I was just
Speaker 2: living the dream.
Speaker 3: Really, I wasn't really.
Speaker 2: Looking for anything with anyone at the time because I
Speaker 2: was very much focused on myself. I was enjoying being
Speaker 2: single summertime, and I just really was doing my own thing.
Speaker 2: So when I kind of got bored, I suppose I
Speaker 2: decided to get on the dating apps, and with that.
Speaker 3: Obviously guys were starting to come my way.
Speaker 2: Whereas like I had been single previously for like two years,
Speaker 2: not looking for anything.
Speaker 3: It was also post COVID, so yeah, I was.
Speaker 2: Just living my best single girl life during summer and
Speaker 2: then I decided, Okay, look, I'm looking for a little
Speaker 2: bit of some fun and then yeah, that's when I
Speaker 2: matched with Craig and he he instantly was just like, yep.
Speaker 3: Do you want to go on a date? Do you
Speaker 3: want to catch up?
Speaker 2: And I was like, Okay, well, I really do like
Speaker 2: a persistent and consistent or someone that's just like to
Speaker 2: the point, so I agreed to catch.
Speaker 3: Up with him.
Speaker 1: Dizzelle wasn't looking for anything serious or long term. While
Speaker 1: she was totally up for some fun and getting to
Speaker 1: know someone, she had other plans that would take precedence
Speaker 1: for now.
Speaker 2: We just got out of COVID, so I think I
Speaker 2: felt like I had lost a lot of my life
Speaker 2: in that time. And I was also in the works
Speaker 2: of potentially moving to Bali, so that's why I sort of.
Speaker 3: Was not interested in getting to anything.
Speaker 2: So even when I did meet Craig, he was always
Speaker 2: understanding that that was a potential thing that was going
Speaker 2: to happen.
Speaker 1: So for where she was at in the meantime, Craig
Speaker 1: seemed perfect.
Speaker 2: He was a good looking guy. We had a lot
Speaker 2: of mutual friends. He looked like fun. He was younger
Speaker 2: than me, which is another reason I sort of wasn't
Speaker 2: looking for anything serious, and that's sort of why I
Speaker 2: like matched him, because I was just like, Okay, he
Speaker 2: looks like a bit of fun, and he seemed like
Speaker 2: he was very interested in getting to know me and
Speaker 2: having like a good time as well with me. Like
Speaker 2: he liked jet skis, he liked boting, he liked going
Speaker 2: out and drinking.
Speaker 3: Which I all thinks that I like doing.
Speaker 2: He was very adamant on like, Hey, I'll take you
Speaker 2: on a date. He said, I'll come and pick you up,
Speaker 2: and yeah, off we went.
Speaker 3: We went on a date.
Speaker 2: We had a really nice dinner, we got really red
Speaker 2: wine drunk. We went back to my house because I
Speaker 2: lived very close to there. Nothing happened that night, but
Speaker 2: obviously woke up the next.
Speaker 3: Day and he was still there.
Speaker 2: He worked fifho, so he obviously didn't have a job
Speaker 2: to go to. So I didn't really think that was
Speaker 2: weird that he stayed at mine and then didn't go
Speaker 2: anywhere in the morning.
Speaker 3: I mean, I wasn't.
Speaker 2: Complaining because I was incredibly hungover, and when you're hungover,
Speaker 2: you just sort of want someone there to give you
Speaker 2: love and to offer to take you to breakfast, which
Speaker 2: is what he did. So I wasn't complaining. He was funny,
Speaker 2: He was very laid back. He wasn't the most sharpest
Speaker 2: tool that shed. That was probably the only thing that
Speaker 2: I kind of realized that he was a little bit silly.
Speaker 2: He wasn't very smart, but look, everything else was good.
Speaker 2: He was treating me well, he's a gentleman. I then
Speaker 2: wanted to go shopping. He came with me shopping, He
Speaker 2: helped me try and like bikinis and stuff like that,
Speaker 2: and we just basically started a relationship from there. And yeah,
Speaker 2: he just kind of stayed in my life and consistently naturally.
Speaker 3: Flowed like that.
Speaker 2: We had a lot of mutual friends, so we started
Speaker 2: doing a lot of things with those guys, like going
Speaker 2: out on the boat, just having really good time. And
Speaker 2: at this point it was gravy like we were just
Speaker 2: having fun. We didn't really have that much of a commitment,
Speaker 2: but everybody sort of knew we were kind of like exclusive.
Speaker 2: We'll obviously dating each other, putting each other on each
Speaker 2: other's social media. I was definitely interested to the point where,
Speaker 2: like if he did go out one night, he was
Speaker 2: a little bit of a fuck boy before he met me,
Speaker 2: so he would go out and he'd have lots of girlfriends,
Speaker 2: and like, it did get to a point where.
Speaker 3: It sort of did bother me.
Speaker 2: So that's sort of when I kind of realized, Okay,
Speaker 2: I maybe do have feelings for this guy. Like he
Speaker 2: does treat me well, he is doing all the right things,
Speaker 2: Like he's showing that he is very invested in me.
Speaker 2: So I sort of was like, okay, whatever, I'm just
Speaker 2: going to see what happens until I do make that
Speaker 2: decision to move to Bali.
Speaker 3: He had always known that I was potentially going to
Speaker 3: go to Bali.
Speaker 2: He was just like, yep, okay, I understand that, but
Speaker 2: hopefully we can be together and you stay. And I said, look,
Speaker 2: if we're together, obviously I'll stay and we can work
Speaker 2: through things soon enough.
Speaker 1: Though, as these things so often do when you're not trying,
Speaker 1: Giselle realized it was turning into more.
Speaker 3: He definitely knew how to treat a woman.
Speaker 2: He was very charming and good looking, very fun, very
Speaker 2: up for anything like He was very easy going. Like
Speaker 2: if I said I wanted to go to the driving
Speaker 2: range or something like that, he'd be like, let's go.
Speaker 3: I want to go out for dinner. He'd be like, yep,
Speaker 3: I'll take you, Like I'll pick you up at like seven.
Speaker 3: Like it was very easy.
Speaker 2: So I think that's why I was like, Okay, cool,
Speaker 2: this is not only convenient, but like he's treating me really,
Speaker 2: really well. So that's sort of how it ended into
Speaker 2: a relationship. I suppose it just got to that point
Speaker 2: where I was like, why am I dismissing this when
Speaker 2: he's doing absolutely everything to show me that he wants
Speaker 2: to be with me at the end of the day.
Speaker 1: But over time, she felt a few little niggling things
Speaker 1: start to pop up.
Speaker 3: He would just stay at my house.
Speaker 2: Even if I'd be like I'm gonna go now, I'm
Speaker 2: going to go hang out some friends, he'd just be like,
Speaker 2: no worries, I'm just going to stay and I'd be like.
Speaker 3: Oh okay.
Speaker 2: But because he had done so many nice things to me,
Speaker 2: I sort of thought, Okay, this is kind of the
Speaker 2: least I can do is just like let him sort
Speaker 2: of stay at my house. If I went out or
Speaker 2: something like that, and I didn't want to invite him.
Speaker 3: He would sort of invite himself.
Speaker 2: He would kind of make it a little bit uncomfortable,
Speaker 2: constantly just being like, yeah, I'll come, so that real cruisy,
Speaker 2: easy going, like up for anything.
Speaker 3: Guy.
Speaker 2: I sort of started to get a little bit annoying
Speaker 2: because I do definitely like my space and my freedom
Speaker 2: and my independence. I was definitely still interested in him,
Speaker 2: but yeah, he was kind of crossing some boundaries that
Speaker 2: I didn't really know how to navigate through because he
Speaker 2: was doing so many nice things for me that I
Speaker 2: didn't want to be rude and kind of disrespect or
Speaker 2: seem ungrateful. I caught up with a girlfriend once and
Speaker 2: she did tell me she was like, dude, be.
Speaker 3: Very careful of Craig.
Speaker 2: He is a leech, Like he will hang on to
Speaker 2: your leg for dear life and he will not let go.
Speaker 2: And I started to be like, oh, starting to see
Speaker 2: that a little bit, Like he just will not.
Speaker 3: He just wouldn't get people's boundaries.
Speaker 2: Even when we'd go out in front of people or
Speaker 2: something like that and he wasn't invited, he'd just rock
Speaker 2: up and he just didn't care. Though he sort of
Speaker 2: was naive and just a little bit like, huh, what
Speaker 2: do you mean I can't Like he would just completely
Speaker 2: not understand and have that social skill. The staying at
Speaker 2: my house when I was sort of like, I have
Speaker 2: a house mate, you can't really stay here. I remember
Speaker 2: once he even I said to him, never go into
Speaker 2: my house mate's room, and he went into my house
Speaker 2: mate's room and took one of his jumpers. We started
Speaker 2: to argue a little bit about those things because it
Speaker 2: started to get quite frequent.
Speaker 3: He would put on puppy dog eyes. You've seen this
Speaker 3: guy like he is.
Speaker 2: A pretty boy, very pretty boy, who just look at
Speaker 2: me with his puppy dog eyes and be like I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 3: Giselle like I'm so sorry, and I'd just be.
Speaker 2: Like, okay, and I'd forgive it because he was always apologetic.
Speaker 3: He'd say all the right things and then we'd move on.
Speaker 3: Plus he worked.
Speaker 1: Fly in fly out. They were only actually in the
Speaker 1: same city for a week before he'd fly out for
Speaker 1: the next and so on. Giselle was able to still
Speaker 1: have her own space and freedom as well as have
Speaker 1: the guy and the fun. Just half the time.
Speaker 2: He ended up losing his five Fox job. He didn't
Speaker 2: tell me the reason. He just said he didn't want
Speaker 2: to work over summer and he had enough money in crypto,
Speaker 2: but obviously once he had lost his job, he had
Speaker 2: to rely on that. And then obviously he was hanging
Speaker 2: around my house even more than before as the weeks
Speaker 2: and the months went on, and when I asked him,
Speaker 2: are you going to go back up to work, he'd say, no,
Speaker 2: I'm just going to spend the summer living off my
Speaker 2: crypto and fluffing around. Basically, he became one of those
Speaker 2: people almost like that you just knew he was going
Speaker 2: to be there. It wasn't like annoying, but you just
Speaker 2: knew he was going to be there. So my friends
Speaker 2: kind of didn't really care. It wasn't really like he
Speaker 2: was a menace or anything like that. He was just
Speaker 2: sort of like there. He didn't have like an overly
Speaker 2: big personality or anything like that, so they didn't mind him.
Speaker 2: But at the same time, he messages me all the time.
Speaker 2: He obviously doesn't have a job. He's sometimes just sitting
Speaker 2: at my house. I did start to feel like I
Speaker 2: was like, Okay, I'm actually starting to get embarrassed because
Speaker 2: my friends are even starting to say things.
Speaker 3: Like can you he just not come? Or why did
Speaker 3: he come?
Speaker 2: And I was sort of like, I'm really sorry, but
Speaker 2: like he just rocks up. I kind of was sort
Speaker 2: of just suppressing everything so I could kind.
Speaker 3: Of live in the moment.
Speaker 1: It was about five months in when Gazelle started realizing
Speaker 1: the amount of time she was enjoying Craig's company and
Speaker 1: the amount of time she was getting frustrated by him
Speaker 1: were not a good balance.
Speaker 2: It was starting to become fifty to fifty every day.
Speaker 2: The percentage of how annoying he was becoming was slowly increasing. Obviously,
Speaker 2: once he had left his job, he was obviously going
Speaker 2: out and drinking a lot more. He started to get
Speaker 2: a lot more jealous about me. I think at this point,
Speaker 2: when it got to that five month point, I decided
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I'm probably going to need to
Speaker 2: take a little bit of a step back from him
Speaker 2: and told him I want to have a break. And
Speaker 2: then I just said, look, just don't contact me for
Speaker 2: a little bit. I just needed some breathing space. I
Speaker 2: felt like if I had had a little bit of
Speaker 2: breathing space from him, then maybe that space could maybe
Speaker 2: make me miss him, or it would push me further
Speaker 2: away from him and kind of make my decision to
Speaker 2: move to Bali easier.
Speaker 3: He said, or is it because you want to move
Speaker 3: to Bali?
Speaker 2: And I was like, no, it's just your actions and
Speaker 2: I just needed a break from him, And obviously, yeah,
Speaker 2: he didn't take that very well. He started acting very irrational,
Speaker 2: just going out and partying all the time. He would
Speaker 2: go out on dates with other girls and try and
Speaker 2: get a rise out of me. Then he would go
Speaker 2: to take it so far and then go out on
Speaker 2: a date with another girl, post it on his social media,
Speaker 2: and then I would obviously go out and people would
Speaker 2: see I'm obviously out somewhere else He's clearly on a
Speaker 2: date with another girl. You know those ones where you
Speaker 2: just like post the hands and you can't say anything else.
Speaker 2: He would do that and it would make our relationship
Speaker 2: look even more like a joke. I was getting kind
Speaker 2: of frustrated embarrassed by him, and I definitely had the
Speaker 2: ick by this point, so.
Speaker 1: She thought this would be it. He clearly wasn't acting
Speaker 1: like a guy trying to win her back, and she
Speaker 1: didn't want him to at this point. But then things
Speaker 1: started to turn weird.
Speaker 3: He'd rock up.
Speaker 2: Everywhere I went. I didn't tell him where I was going,
Speaker 2: and I stopped posting. I just muted him so he
Speaker 2: couldn't see where I was at. For example, I had
Speaker 2: planned to go to a festival with my girlfriends. We'd
Speaker 2: had a plan for months in advance, and he didn't
Speaker 2: even know really anyone, and he had somehow weaseled his
Speaker 2: way to coming to the pre's. He was showing up
Speaker 2: to every bar that I attended. I have no idea
Speaker 2: how he knew I was there.
Speaker 3: He would rock up.
Speaker 2: At my house occasionally without being invited. He didn't have
Speaker 2: a key or anything like that, but if my house
Speaker 2: mate was at home, he would just help himself. He
Speaker 2: would just walk inside. I'd come home and he'd be
Speaker 2: sitting on my bed. My friends they thought it was
Speaker 2: very creepy. When you're in something, it's harder to see
Speaker 2: what's actually going on because you know that person, You
Speaker 2: know that they genuinely have care for you, and you
Speaker 2: know they wouldn't do anything to try and hurt you.
Speaker 2: So they started to be like, this is actually getting weird.
Speaker 2: Then slowly they start to just be like, no, this
Speaker 2: is actually getting really bad, Like, I think you need
Speaker 2: to cut it off with him. He's getting really, really weird.
Speaker 2: I just thought it was a little bit annoying. But
Speaker 2: then once they started kind of showing me that it
Speaker 2: was actually very creepy and very unusual behavior from someone,
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I need to maybe do something
Speaker 2: about this.
Speaker 3: I had been single for a couple of years.
Speaker 2: I yet obviously didn't really know what like a relationship
Speaker 2: was because obviously, in the beginning, it was very natural,
Speaker 2: as I said, like we went on a date, he
Speaker 2: had a lot of initiative.
Speaker 3: He just sort of did everything for me.
Speaker 2: I just thought that that was kind of lay healthy,
Speaker 2: and you know, he just really wanted to be around
Speaker 2: me all the time. But then it did get to
Speaker 2: the point where it was obsessive, like it was infatuation.
Speaker 2: I didn't feel nearly as much as what he did
Speaker 2: for me. It was becoming very one sided for sure,
Speaker 2: and I started to think, Okay, is he a bit
Speaker 2: of a social climber or is he actually just obsessed
Speaker 2: with me. That's inevitably what led me to just being like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this guy has no respect for my space. He doesn't
Speaker 2: understand that what he's doing is just pushing me away
Speaker 2: from him. I then decided, Okay, I don't really want
Speaker 2: to come back from this.
Speaker 3: I'm happy to still be friends with him.
Speaker 2: Like, I don't think this is enough to like burn
Speaker 2: a bridge with somebody, but I think it's easy enough
Speaker 2: for me to kind of escape, using the fact that
Speaker 2: he had gone on a date with another girl as
Speaker 2: a way out, if I'm honest, So yeah, I took
Speaker 2: that opportunity to go.
Speaker 3: You know what, my friends are telling me, this is
Speaker 3: really creepy.
Speaker 2: They don't like him. He's crossing a lot of my boundaries.
Speaker 2: My housemate doesn't like him. My family don't really know him,
Speaker 2: but from what they've heard, they don't like him.
Speaker 3: So what is their.
Speaker 2: Left of this relationship? Yes, okay, he treats me well,
Speaker 2: but that's not enough. We're not compatible. His morals don't
Speaker 2: align with mine. He doesn't understand what boundaries I crosses
Speaker 2: them all the time, and that's when I decided to
Speaker 2: cut off. So if this guy literally did not even
Speaker 2: care that I was telling him to leave me alone
Speaker 2: and still showing up, then what else was he capable of.
Speaker 1: She did it the right way. She met up with
Speaker 1: him and had the conversation face to face.
Speaker 2: I basically said to him, Look, I just don't think
Speaker 2: it's going to work out. You have done a few
Speaker 2: things that have made me feel really uncomfortable, and I
Speaker 2: have made the decision that I will be moving to
Speaker 2: Bali anyway. But I have no hard feelings and I
Speaker 2: want to stay amicable. But I just think we need
Speaker 2: to stay away from each other for a little bit.
Speaker 2: I'm not moving for another two or three months, so
Speaker 2: if I see you around, great, but I think for now.
Speaker 3: Let's just leave it. He was very upset, like very upset.
Speaker 2: It was almost like his world had collapsed, Like he
Speaker 2: was crying.
Speaker 3: He was acting very irrational. He wouldn't leave my house.
Speaker 2: He's sort of begging, and I just was like, look,
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's because I'm a bit cold hearted,
Speaker 2: but after everything he had done, I was just like, no,
Speaker 2: I'm really sorry, you need to leave.
Speaker 1: Gazelle felt bad for how upset he was, but she
Speaker 1: knew this was the right thing for her, and soon
Speaker 1: after she started hearing things that made her even more
Speaker 1: sure of that.
Speaker 2: I actually ended up catching up with one of his
Speaker 2: ex girlfriends.
Speaker 3: She asked me.
Speaker 2: She was just like, oh, so what happened with you
Speaker 2: and Craig. She had heard a completely different story through
Speaker 2: the grapevine that he was the one that broke it off,
Speaker 2: all this shit, the usual, just token heartbroken boy trying
Speaker 2: to like protect their ego. And then I said to her,
Speaker 2: none of that is true, And I said, what happened
Speaker 2: with you and him? And she basically said to me
Speaker 2: that I thought you guys were in a full blown relationship,
Speaker 2: because that's what he had said to me. And she
Speaker 2: was like, no, we were never in a relationship ever.
Speaker 2: And he had made up this whole lie about her,
Speaker 2: saying that she was crazy, the whole nine yards, he
Speaker 2: wanted to be with her, she cheated on him, all
Speaker 2: this stuff, and she just basically was like, none of
Speaker 2: that was true. I went on one date with him,
Speaker 2: and I slept with him maybe once, and then he
Speaker 2: went and told everyone we were dating and that to
Speaker 2: stay away from me. And then that's when I was like, oh, okay,
Speaker 2: so this is him to the core. This isn't just
Speaker 2: what he has done to me. He was very obsessed
Speaker 2: with this other girl, because a couple of other people
Speaker 2: had mentioned that he had been obsessed with her. That
Speaker 2: then all of these cracks started to show and I realized, Okay,
Speaker 2: he is a little bit unhinged. At that point, I
Speaker 2: sort of went okay, I'm just another girl. And I
Speaker 2: sort of thought, okay, good, okay, this is good, Like
Speaker 2: this is gonna blow over.
Speaker 3: This is just him.
Speaker 2: Once I had sort of realized who he was, all
Speaker 2: of these things started coming out about him that I
Speaker 2: didn't like. People being like, oh, now you've broken up,
Speaker 2: we can tell you these things, and I was like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, why didn't you warn me? And I
Speaker 2: sort of was just like, oh, I'm so humiliated and
Speaker 2: embarrassed that I was ever associated with him. After hearing
Speaker 2: everything about him, I was like, Okay, I've made the
Speaker 2: best decision ever. And then from there I focused on
Speaker 2: me moving to Bali because I was moving to Bali
Speaker 2: in a couple of months. I moved back in with
Speaker 2: my mom the month before I left, just to put
Speaker 2: my stuff in storage, all that kind of stuff. So
Speaker 2: I sort of wasn't going out at this point. I
Speaker 2: was definitely very dialed in. I was working a lot,
Speaker 2: so I didn't really hear that much. So he kind
Speaker 2: of left me alone for two months. I had heard
Speaker 2: people telling me things that he had been saying and
Speaker 2: trying to get into contact with me, talking to my
Speaker 2: friends saying, hey, can you give this message to Giselle
Speaker 2: for me? And I was honestly so far past caring
Speaker 2: at this point that I just was ready to go
Speaker 2: to Bali.
Speaker 1: So with all that behind her, off she went.
Speaker 2: My brother lived in Bali, so very easy transition. It's
Speaker 2: only three hours away. I literally just took like three
Speaker 2: or four suitcases and I left like I didn't have
Speaker 2: to take any furniture.
Speaker 3: It was a very easy, easy move. I didn't really
Speaker 3: tell anyone that I was going either. I sort of.
Speaker 2: Didn't want to have to have a full blown going
Speaker 2: away party for it.
Speaker 3: I told my close friends. I didn't see it as
Speaker 3: a big deal.
Speaker 2: A lot of my friends lived there, so it was
Speaker 2: a very easy transition. I worked for myself, so I
Speaker 2: just got up, went to Bali and started a whole
Speaker 2: new life. And it was amazing for the first couple
Speaker 2: of weeks.
Speaker 3: Uh oh. So I went to Bali. I was living
Speaker 3: the dream as you do.
Speaker 2: Got my scooter, you know, I got my little Vmax
Speaker 2: and I was riding down the road with my headphones on,
Speaker 2: just freaking loving my life. And I drove past a
Speaker 2: cafe on one of the main strips and I looked
Speaker 2: to my right, and standing out the front of this
Speaker 2: cafe was Craig. I thought I was hallucinating, but no,
Speaker 2: it was him. I obviously didn't stop because I was
Speaker 2: just like after disbelief. I just kept driving and I
Speaker 2: got home. I sat there and I thought, Okay, what
Speaker 2: am I going to do about this? Do I contact
Speaker 2: him and ask him what he's doing? Or do I
Speaker 2: leave it.
Speaker 3: He could just be on holiday, or he has followed
Speaker 3: me here. There are only those two options.
Speaker 2: I was sort of scared because I didn't know where
Speaker 2: he was at with me. Obviously, I don't spoken to
Speaker 2: him for a couple of months. I'd blocked him off everything.
Speaker 2: I completely crushed his heart. He'd also been telling a
Speaker 2: lot of lies about what had happened to our relationship,
Speaker 2: if you want to call it that. I was telling
Speaker 2: people we were just seeing each other, which was the truth.
Speaker 2: We were just seeing each other, whereas he was telling
Speaker 2: everyone we had been together for you know all this time,
Speaker 2: I'm the one he broke up with me. All these lies,
Speaker 2: so I was not only frustrated at that and the
Speaker 2: lies that he had told other people to make me
Speaker 2: look bad. I was just infuriated that now that he
Speaker 2: was in another country, I didn't think I needed to
Speaker 2: have an opportunity to save my own reputation in a
Speaker 2: new country that I wanted to start a.
Speaker 3: Whole new life.
Speaker 2: I decided I'm going to message him and I just
Speaker 2: said I think I just seen you, and he had
Speaker 2: seen me too, and I said, okay, can we meet
Speaker 2: at that same cafe that you were standing out the
Speaker 2: front of, And of course he says yes. When you
Speaker 2: see an X or something like that, usually you might
Speaker 2: be like, oh my god, it's fate.
Speaker 3: Whereas this was not it. I was just like, absolutely not.
Speaker 3: What are you doing here?
Speaker 2: And he openly said to me, I said, have you
Speaker 2: followed me here? And he said yes, I have faith
Speaker 2: that you will take me back. I was like, oh
Speaker 2: my god. I was like, Craig, this is crazy. And
Speaker 2: he was just looking at me with his puppy dog eyes,
Speaker 2: thinking like I was crazy for thinking it was crazy,
Speaker 2: and I was like.
Speaker 3: No, man, I was like no, no.
Speaker 2: I asked him. I was like, where are you going
Speaker 2: to stay? Because I was like, you don't have a job,
Speaker 2: You're living off your crypto.
Speaker 3: What are you going to do?
Speaker 2: And he says, I've got a job. I'm going to
Speaker 2: do five fo from here, which isn't common. It is
Speaker 2: something that people do. And I was like, god no.
Speaker 2: And then there's these little like home stage you can
Speaker 2: stay in the cheap maybe like forty dollars a night
Speaker 2: that he can just pay for when he's here, he
Speaker 2: just literally can leave his bag or leave it at
Speaker 2: a friend's house or take it with him. I got
Speaker 2: a new job, so I can, you know, have good
Speaker 2: income and all this stuff. And I was like, I
Speaker 2: don't care. Like he was almost saying it, like as
Speaker 2: if I was going to be like yayt's oh good,
Speaker 2: you've got a job, let's go back, let's get back together.
Speaker 2: I was like, no, man, you've been lying about me.
Speaker 2: You've been telling everyone that you broke up with me.
Speaker 2: We weren't even in a relationship. I found out about
Speaker 2: the other girl.
Speaker 3: I found out.
Speaker 2: About everything, and this is weird. And I would really
Speaker 2: appreciate it if you would leave. And he was like, no,
Speaker 2: you know that I love BALI. You know I've wanted
Speaker 2: to be here forever. And I was like, no, that's
Speaker 2: me man. I was like, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: You're not going to steal my life from me. He'd
Speaker 2: never mention Bali. He literally never had any plan to
Speaker 2: move there. And I was like, you need to leave
Speaker 2: me alone. Please do not move here. And he said,
Speaker 2: I'm going to do what I want. And he said,
Speaker 2: if I can't have you, no one will. I was
Speaker 2: now very creeped out, weirded out, and I just wanted
Speaker 2: him to get the f away from me. I obviously
Speaker 2: go home and I tell my brother. My brother is
Speaker 2: sort of very as well, laid back. I don't really
Speaker 2: like getting him involved in my problems. Plus I can
Speaker 2: handle my own stuff.
Speaker 3: But I told him about it.
Speaker 2: And he was just like, just stay away from him,
Speaker 2: and you should be okay. Just let's play it by
Speaker 2: ear because you know that I'm here, You've got nothing
Speaker 2: to worry about. If he does anything over here, like
Speaker 2: we're in Bali, it's a different ballgame.
Speaker 3: He'll get deported. He can't stalk you.
Speaker 2: I have a lot of people that can sort him
Speaker 2: out if he does try anything. But at that point,
Speaker 2: I didn't think I was in much danger, and I
Speaker 2: just told him stay out of my way and I'll
Speaker 2: do my own thing. So at this point I was angry,
Speaker 2: but I wasn't that scared for my safety.
Speaker 3: I suppose.
Speaker 1: A couple of weeks went by and she didn't see
Speaker 1: or hear from him. She thought finally he'd got the hint,
Speaker 1: and then she got a surprise from home that would
Speaker 1: make everything better.
Speaker 2: One of my best friends, Tiffany, she flew over and
Speaker 2: surprised me.
Speaker 3: Once she had been there for a week. We had
Speaker 3: such an amazing week.
Speaker 2: She decided that she was going to move there, which
Speaker 2: I was happy about. Another really close friend that I
Speaker 2: could trust that's going to be living in Bali.
Speaker 3: I was over the moon. She did know Craig as well.
Speaker 3: She didn't know him that.
Speaker 2: Well though, but I tried to explain to her the
Speaker 2: magnitude of it.
Speaker 3: Anyway, one night we all went out.
Speaker 2: My friend was holding a pub croll and he hired
Speaker 2: a bus for it, and basically we were sitting at
Speaker 2: the pub.
Speaker 3: Was sitting at the bench.
Speaker 2: And I had specifically said to the guy that was
Speaker 2: running at if Craig shows up, because at this point
Speaker 2: I had heard some things that he'd been popping up places.
Speaker 2: I had specifically told him, please, can you make sure
Speaker 2: that if he comes that he's not on the list.
Speaker 2: I brought so many.
Speaker 3: People there and guess who shows up.
Speaker 2: And there was a table of like maybe fifteen of
Speaker 2: us dead, silent, absolute pure humiliation, like pure humiliation if
Speaker 2: you've ever seen it in your whole entire life.
Speaker 3: It was just too far. So I absolutely blew up.
Speaker 3: I told him to leave. I was like, you are
Speaker 3: nine invited.
Speaker 2: No one knows you, no one wants you here, and
Speaker 2: not one person said a thing. And I know it
Speaker 2: would have seemed nasty maybe, but under what I had
Speaker 2: been through and him now rocking up to places that
Speaker 2: he's one not invited to, it was just too far.
Speaker 3: He stood there and was just like, nah, I'm not going.
Speaker 3: It was so embarrassed.
Speaker 2: If I was him, I would have been on that
Speaker 2: scooter fanging it down Bartu belong so quickly.
Speaker 3: But he didn't. He stood there, suit his ground. He
Speaker 3: would not leave.
Speaker 2: It was so awkward. The girls were like, he's not
Speaker 2: worth her. I said, okay, whatever. I can't really kick
Speaker 2: him out from the pub it's not my pub, but
Speaker 2: I can stop him from getting on that bus.
Speaker 3: Anyway, we carried on with the night. I would go
Speaker 3: to the toilet.
Speaker 2: He would literally sit in my spot, in my spot
Speaker 2: and start talking to my girlfriends that did not like him.
Speaker 2: I knew the whole situation, and they would be like, man,
Speaker 2: can you please get away from me?
Speaker 3: And he literally would just don't worry about Giselle.
Speaker 2: She's just talking crap, like, don't worry about her, and
Speaker 2: then you would just try and carry on the conversation.
Speaker 2: I just ended up leaving, like me and my girlfriends
Speaker 2: were just like, Okay, this is too much. He will
Speaker 2: not go And then I think they saw it firsthand
Speaker 2: and were like, Okay, this is crazy, Like I now understand.
Speaker 2: You cannot get rid of him. I texted him and
Speaker 2: I was just like, please never do that ever again,
Speaker 2: like I don't want to be made out to look
Speaker 2: like I am insane. And then he basically just said,
Speaker 2: fuck you, I'm going to do what I want, like
Speaker 2: there's nothing you can do about it.
Speaker 3: And that's when it sort of started to get bad.
Speaker 1: This was only the first time of what would become
Speaker 1: a regular thing. It kept happening. Everywhere she would go
Speaker 1: there he would be it.
Speaker 2: Was borderline stalking. He was telling everyone all this stuff.
Speaker 2: He was telling guys if they come anywhere near me
Speaker 2: that he's going to bash them. He would literally show
Speaker 2: up to cafes that I was at. At this point,
Speaker 2: it was just getting to the point where every single
Speaker 2: time I just would get up and I would leave.
Speaker 3: Obviously he didn't know.
Speaker 2: Where I lived, which was great, but yeah, it just
Speaker 2: got to the point where I was like, this guy
Speaker 2: has literally stalked me across country. I honestly felt helpless
Speaker 2: because he would rock up to places people felt really
Speaker 2: uncomfortable with us, arguing, and as I said, he had
Speaker 2: made a couple of friends over there, so some of
Speaker 2: them did believe some of the stuff that he was saying.
Speaker 3: So it got to the point where I was just like,
Speaker 3: I am.
Speaker 2: Literally screwed here. He's followed me here. Half of the
Speaker 2: people aren't really even believing what I'm saying. They just
Speaker 2: think I'm this crazy ex girlfriend that just hates their
Speaker 2: ex boyfriend because he had told all these lies about me,
Speaker 2: and I felt helpless. I was like, I've just moved
Speaker 2: here and he's literally followed me here.
Speaker 3: He's trying to ruin my reputation. He's telling everyone all
Speaker 3: of these lies about me. I remember going to a
Speaker 3: party once and one of these guys. I was like, hey,
Speaker 3: nice to me, and he was like, oh, you're CRAIGSX.
Speaker 3: And I was like, what do you mean? And I
Speaker 3: was like, nor, I'm not. And they're like, oh, we've
Speaker 3: heard all about you.
Speaker 2: And I was just like, oh, mate, I was just
Speaker 2: like dude, and I tried to tell them the actual
Speaker 2: story and they would not believe me.
Speaker 3: I was just like so deflated.
Speaker 2: I just like could not believe that someone can actually
Speaker 2: get away with this. Fast forward maybe three more months.
Speaker 2: He just continued to do it. He would just continue
Speaker 2: to show up everywhere I was. I was so drained
Speaker 2: by it all. He would just show up everywhere. I
Speaker 2: wasn't able to fulfill what I wanted to do. I
Speaker 2: couldn't really probably meet any guys because he was cock
Speaker 2: blocking me and telling everyone that, like, if anyone goes
Speaker 2: near me, he's going to bash them, that I'm crazy,
Speaker 2: and by association, I was just I was so sick
Speaker 2: of it.
Speaker 3: I was so drained.
Speaker 2: I ended up gaining like six kilos, Like I was
Speaker 2: partying all the time when I actually went there to like,
Speaker 2: I had gone there the best shape of my life.
Speaker 2: You know, I'm an online fitness coach, like I still
Speaker 2: did all of those things, but I got really depressed
Speaker 2: over there because I genuinely had a stalker and for
Speaker 2: so many months no one believed me. He was ruining
Speaker 2: my life and ruining my reputation. And then one we
Speaker 2: all had a Christmas party and again he wasn't invited,
Speaker 2: but he just shows up, right, he's drunk off his face. Anyway,
Speaker 2: he comes to the house and I'm talking to a guy.
Speaker 3: He gets jealous.
Speaker 2: Obviously, I decided to go upstairs and I hear this
Speaker 2: big smash and I looked downstairs and Craig and my
Speaker 2: friend are in a massive fight, massive fight, like full
Speaker 2: punch on. I was obviously like, get off of my friend,
Speaker 2: get off of him.
Speaker 3: He was just like, fuck off, Gizelle off.
Speaker 2: Everyone made the biggest embarrassment out of himself, like totally
Speaker 2: showed his true colors finally, and everyone was obviously like, Okay,
Speaker 2: you need to just settle down. My friend was just
Speaker 2: so taken back, being like what did I even do?
Speaker 2: I was literally just talking to Gizelle like he didn't
Speaker 2: know much of the story at.
Speaker 3: All, so he was so confused.
Speaker 2: And then literally Craig just jumps over the table and
Speaker 2: goes for round two, and everyone at this point was
Speaker 2: just like, are you joking me?
Speaker 3: This has just gotten out of hand. You need to leave.
Speaker 3: And then that's when all of his friends and all
Speaker 3: came full circle.
Speaker 2: They were like, Okay, maybe we believe what you've been saying.
Speaker 2: And then gradually, over the next couple of months, he
Speaker 2: started to do things like I think he started to
Speaker 2: just lose grip. He'd lost all of those friends because
Speaker 2: he had done all of that kind of stuff, and
Speaker 2: he started acting out, getting drunk on the scooter and driving.
Speaker 2: These were all things that I was hearing from other people.
Speaker 2: Getting drunk, driving on the scooter, crashing. He had lied
Speaker 2: about his job, he didn't actually have his job. He'd
Speaker 2: run out of all his crypto money.
Speaker 1: And then something happened that officially went too far.
Speaker 2: Remember Tiffany, she needed a house. She had nowhere to live.
Speaker 2: She couldn't live with me. I didn't have room. You're
Speaker 2: in another country. At the time, it was post COVID,
Speaker 2: it was very hard to find a rental. She was
Speaker 2: paying a lot of money staying at these homestays, and
Speaker 2: at this point he moved into a house with a
Speaker 2: couple of other people and offered the room.
Speaker 3: To Tiffany Yep Craig.
Speaker 2: It was really hard for her to be like, Okay,
Speaker 2: do I choose my friendship with Giselle or do I
Speaker 2: choose like having this house, so she moved in there.
Speaker 2: I was just kind of dumbfounded by the whole entire situation.
Speaker 2: I kind of felt like I was in a dream
Speaker 2: and that I was just very hopeless, and it had
Speaker 2: just gotten so far out of control it was insane,
Speaker 2: and was now literally taking over not only my life
Speaker 2: but now my friends, and putting her in a situation
Speaker 2: and me in a situation.
Speaker 3: Where we were vote very, very uncomfortable.
Speaker 2: And that's when I was like, Okay, now I'm actually
Speaker 2: scared of what he's capable of.
Speaker 3: The manipulation.
Speaker 2: Somehow, he had some type of power, and I needed.
Speaker 3: To take that away from him. So I didn't really
Speaker 3: know what he had planned.
Speaker 2: Obviously I didn't have any contact with him, but obviously
Speaker 2: had a plan to try and get closer to.
Speaker 3: Me, and I was not going to let that happen.
Speaker 2: I was to the point I had made enough connections
Speaker 2: with people, and because he had done a few things,
Speaker 2: I had the proof to then get him deported. So
Speaker 2: it was something that obviously I didn't want to take
Speaker 2: like lightly. It was going to take a few months,
Speaker 2: but no one could really grasp the magnitude of what
Speaker 2: he was doing because they're not living in your life
Speaker 2: and in your position. They kind of dusted it under
Speaker 2: the rug a little bit, and he obviously said a
Speaker 2: lot of life, so I think a lot.
Speaker 3: Of people didn't really know what to believe.
Speaker 2: So when I was like, I'm going to get him deported,
Speaker 2: people almost were like, you're being dramatic, and I was like,
Speaker 2: are you joking me?
Speaker 3: Have you had someone stalky to BALI? No. A lot
Speaker 3: of my friends.
Speaker 2: Felt very sorry for him, which I understand, and then
Speaker 2: the other half of like, one hundred percent, you need
Speaker 2: to do this. So to get someone deported you have
Speaker 2: to come up with a lot of evidence about this person.
Speaker 2: I had to obviously show screenshots of our conversations. I
Speaker 2: had to have proof of him rocking up to places, witnesses,
Speaker 2: and then in the long run, I'm not going to
Speaker 2: lie because of how drained I was from him and
Speaker 2: the whole situation. Going through another thing like deporting someone
Speaker 2: from a country was just too much for me. I
Speaker 2: had missed my family. As I said before, I had
Speaker 2: so much weight. I just wasn't myself. I was constantly partying,
Speaker 2: and I wasn't really doing what I had planned to
Speaker 2: do over there. So after a couple of months of
Speaker 2: being like, yes, I'm one hundred percent doing this, I'm
Speaker 2: getting him out and then I can start over, I
Speaker 2: think there was too much damage done now that I
Speaker 2: just pulled the pin and I moved.
Speaker 3: I just one day got up. I had enough.
Speaker 2: When I had gone home, it was a mixed bag
Speaker 2: of emotions.
Speaker 3: I was relieved, I was also very sad.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 3: I didn't want to leave my brother. I didn't want
Speaker 3: to leave my life.
Speaker 2: And until I got home, I actually realized how much
Speaker 2: he had taken from me, and it was really so crushing.
Speaker 2: And then it was just months of being drained and
Speaker 2: not really understanding or realizing what was going on because
Speaker 2: I was so new to a new country that you're
Speaker 2: trying to gauge where you're at and where to go
Speaker 2: and how to navigate this new life. And then on
Speaker 2: top of that having someone physically trying to stalk you,
Speaker 2: and it was honestly heartbreaking. Like I came back a
Speaker 2: totally different person. I remember telling everyone that I completely
Speaker 2: lost myself, which was true, and when I got home,
Speaker 2: I realized that and I had to completely start over.
Speaker 2: So when I got home, I just moved straight in
Speaker 2: with my mum. I wasn't in a horrible situation financially,
Speaker 2: I was just mentally really messed up. But I just
Speaker 2: totally took it to my advantage and was like, you
Speaker 2: know what, I'm back in Australia now. He is no
Speaker 2: longer in my life. I knew that he wanted to
Speaker 2: stay there because everyone had told me that. He was
Speaker 2: like very grateful for the fact that I didn't get
Speaker 2: him reported, so he was like I'm done. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm going to leave her alone now because I think
Speaker 2: that really scared him. So I had basically just done
Speaker 2: him a favor, so I was sort of like, Okay,
Speaker 2: this has to be done now.
Speaker 1: It was devastating that it had come to this, but
Speaker 1: with Craig out of the picture and the support of
Speaker 1: her family and old friends back at home, she picked
Speaker 1: herself up and it didn't take long for her to
Speaker 1: start to thrive again.
Speaker 2: I moved home, I started my own business, I moved
Speaker 2: into a new house, literally two months after I met
Speaker 2: my now partner that I've been together with for two
Speaker 2: and a half years.
Speaker 3: I have a gordgeous bullderg.
Speaker 2: I have an amazing life, honest to God, like it's
Speaker 2: so good.
Speaker 3: I'm the strongest and fittest that I've ever been.
Speaker 2: Now I've learnt so much from that though, Like even
Speaker 2: living in.
Speaker 3: Bali was crazy itself.
Speaker 2: It's not as sunshine and roses as everyone thinks. You
Speaker 2: are living in a third world country. So moving back
Speaker 2: to Australia made me realize how grateful I was for
Speaker 2: my life, and that in itself completely changed my perspective
Speaker 2: on life.
Speaker 3: Not play the victim could have been a lot worse.
Speaker 2: And you have to lose yourself to find yourself sometimes,
Speaker 2: and that's inevitably what I did. Bali it self shaped me,
Speaker 2: and then the situation with Craig as well made me
Speaker 2: even more resilient. And I definitely wouldn't be the person
Speaker 2: that I am now unless that situation happened. And also
Speaker 2: now I know what it's like to have someone that's
Speaker 2: infatuated with you, obsessed with you. All of these signs
Speaker 2: and all of these red flags are things that I'm
Speaker 2: never going to tolerate. And I don't think I would
Speaker 2: have found my now partner that treats me like a
Speaker 2: queen unless I picked up on all of these things.
Speaker 2: And then I just decided I wasn't going to allow
Speaker 2: that shit to continue on into my now relationship.
Speaker 3: And I'm just so grateful that I went through that.
Speaker 2: I suppose now, looking back a couple years later after
Speaker 2: it happened, I genuinely realize how bad it was and
Speaker 2: how messed up it was. And I really want people
Speaker 2: and women especially to understand when they are with someone
Speaker 2: that's a narcissist, that's like a love bomber, but not
Speaker 2: even a love bombit someone that's just infatuated with you,
Speaker 2: that gives you everything, but they are completely crossing your
Speaker 2: boundaries and just giving them these signs that maybe they
Speaker 2: need to really reflect on who they're with and not
Speaker 2: jump into things as quickly as I did, because we
Speaker 2: literally met one day and the next we were basically
Speaker 2: seeing each other, and it's better to just take things
Speaker 2: slow and to really really.
Speaker 3: Do your research on these people.
Speaker 2: If I look back at it, it really was horrendous,
Speaker 2: and at times, even me, someone that's incredibly resilient and
Speaker 2: can get my out of anything. I found myself in
Speaker 2: a position that I was completely powerless, And to think
Speaker 2: about people that are in these situations that haven't had
Speaker 2: maybe the resources that I've had, and haven't had the
Speaker 2: upbringing I have had that have made me such a
Speaker 2: strong person. I kin't even imagine what these other women
Speaker 2: and these situations that they are going through where they
Speaker 2: feel completely unheard as well, no one believes them that
Speaker 2: they're alone, and this happens more often than it should,
Speaker 2: and it happens just like nearly nally without even you
Speaker 2: knowing as well. And I just hope that girls can
Speaker 2: be safe out there because it's scary, and stalking is
Speaker 2: actual criminal offense and it can end lives. It has,
Speaker 2: and I'm just so grateful that it didn't mine another
Speaker 2: lesson that I've learned.
Speaker 3: If multiple of your friends are saying things to you.
Speaker 2: I'm so lucky that I did have a lot of
Speaker 2: friends sort of say early on that they felt comfortable
Speaker 2: saying that to me, and that I genuinely did listen
Speaker 2: to them. Not that it obviously you couldn't change what
Speaker 2: was going to happen, but you definitely need to listen
Speaker 2: to your friends, especially if there's a magnitude of friends
Speaker 2: telling you this person isn't.
Speaker 3: Right for you. You really really need.
Speaker 2: To understand that this could be unsafe and that the
Speaker 2: people that care about you are only doing it because
Speaker 2: they care about you, and that you should probably listen
Speaker 2: to them. And for the people that are in these situations,
Speaker 2: you can get out of it.
Speaker 3: You can. You just have to be open to that help.
Speaker 2: I suppose, and I know a lot of people also
Speaker 2: in these situations are scared to tell their friend because
Speaker 2: they're scared that that friend isn't going to believe them,
Speaker 2: and I've been there, but you're better off telling them regardless,
Speaker 2: because if they end up in a horrible situation like
Speaker 2: what I have, you're going to regret that. And the
Speaker 2: chances are that if they are your friend, they will
Speaker 2: believe you.
Speaker 1: Everyone has an Eggs As a Minti Media production and
Speaker 1: proudly part of the Muma Mea Network, this episode is
Speaker 1: written and narrated and interview conducted by me Georgia Love
Speaker 1: and produced by Linda Scott. If you have a story
Speaker 1: you'd like to share, email podcast at momameia dot com
Speaker 1: dot a. You you can support us by following the
Speaker 1: show in your favorite podcast app and leaving a five
Speaker 1: star review. We'll see you for the next one.