Speaker 1: You're listening to a MoMA Mia podcast.
Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters
Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded.
Speaker 3: On about half past eight, we noticed that her breathing
Speaker 3: had changed and she started gasping for air. And that
Speaker 3: for me was when I thought, crap, I really have
Speaker 3: no idea what this is, because the hangover would never
Speaker 3: lead to that.
Speaker 4: Bethany Clark was three days into the trip of a
Speaker 4: lifetime with her best friend Simone White when everything changed.
Speaker 4: They were traveling through Lao, having the kind of adventure
Speaker 4: you meant to have in your twenties, meeting people, seeing
Speaker 4: the world, having fun. But one night they were given
Speaker 4: vodka shots at the backpacker hostel they were staying at.
Speaker 4: The drinks had been laced with methanol, a toxic chemical
Speaker 4: that can be deadly. By the next day, both Bethany
Speaker 4: and Simone were seriously unwell. The friends eventually admitted themselves
Speaker 4: to hospital. Only one of them survived. This is a
Speaker 4: story about survival, grief, and what it takes to speak
Speaker 4: out when your best friend can't. It's also a warning
Speaker 4: one Bethany is determined to share because it could save
Speaker 4: someone's life. Bethany Clark, Welcome to No Filter.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Can I say first of all that I'm extraordinarily sorry
Speaker 4: for the circumstances that have led to us meeting.
Speaker 1: Appreciate that, thank you.
Speaker 4: And the circumstances that I'm referring to occurred not even
Speaker 4: a year ago, November twenty twenty four, last year, and
Speaker 4: you were traveling with your best friend, Simone White. The
Speaker 4: pair of you grew up in England together. We did
Speaker 4: tell me a little bit about your upbringing together.
Speaker 2: So we met.
Speaker 3: I think I was four, she would have been five
Speaker 3: in the first year of primary school.
Speaker 1: And yeah, we've basically been friends ever since.
Speaker 3: She was that person to just keep us connected the
Speaker 3: entire time, so throughout various phases of our life. You know,
Speaker 3: we went to different secondary schools, we went to completely
Speaker 3: different unis, different parts of the country. She was always
Speaker 3: the anchor and the person that would always arrange the plans.
Speaker 3: We just did so many holidays together over the years.
Speaker 3: We did a massive backpacking trip when we were twenty
Speaker 3: and we did, you know, China, Vietnam, Thailand, Hong Kong,
Speaker 3: and we had a great time and obviously we just
Speaker 3: had no idea about what was to come, and we
Speaker 3: booked to go to Lao and Cambodia as part of
Speaker 3: a trip. So I was over in Australia doing my
Speaker 3: working holiday and she was as a lawyer back in
Speaker 3: London and Cambodia seemed to be the halfway point, so
Speaker 3: that's where we met and then a few days later
Speaker 3: we went to Lao and that's when it all went wrong.
Speaker 4: What you're talking about, too, is a part of the
Speaker 4: world that means a great deal to Australians. You would know,
Speaker 4: having spent so much time here that a lot of
Speaker 4: Australians start their traveling adventures by traveling through Southeast Asia.
Speaker 4: And in fact I met my husband on a trip
Speaker 4: to Lao twenty.
Speaker 1: Five years ago.
Speaker 4: Yes, So when the stories broke that you and Simone
Speaker 4: were in hospital, that there were these British girls and
Speaker 4: there were other backpackers as well who were in hospital
Speaker 4: at that point being treated for methanol poisoning, the whole
Speaker 4: nation kind of traveled that time period with you in Australia.
Speaker 4: It was also November, just before people leaving school here
Speaker 4: were about to go on schoolies, so it was really
Speaker 4: kind of a reminder of what can happen in a
Speaker 4: world that feels so open, welcoming fun, a celebration of youth.
Speaker 4: Was that the mindset that you and Simone had when
Speaker 4: you set off on your adventures.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean it was just supposed to be a
Speaker 1: fun holiday. Really.
Speaker 3: Initially the plan wasn't actually to go to Lao at all.
Speaker 3: It was just to be Cambodia, and Simone kind of
Speaker 3: encouraged me to go with the plan of it also
Speaker 3: being loud because we were only supposed to be there
Speaker 3: for four days. And this happened on the i think
Speaker 3: the third day, And it was really just because it's
Speaker 3: in the same region as Cambodia, and we were planning
Speaker 3: to do the islands like Co Wrong Co Wrong Center
Speaker 3: m because it's that close. She was like, Oh, we
Speaker 3: may as well do it too, because we're not going
Speaker 3: to want to go back just to do Loo. We
Speaker 3: weren't there long and this happened, and yeah, we were
Speaker 3: just there to chill out. We weren't drinking particularly heavily either.
Speaker 3: It was just wasn't much going on in that hostel. Really,
Speaker 3: it was just that happy hour between eight and ten, and.
Speaker 1: That's what did it.
Speaker 4: You were in a town called rain Being, which is
Speaker 4: has become a bit of a hot spot for tubing.
Speaker 2: You can go tubing down the river.
Speaker 1: That's what we did that day that it happened.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and so you'd had a kind of celebratory day
Speaker 4: in the outdoors, you went back to your the backpacker's
Speaker 4: hostel where you were staying, a place called Nana not
Speaker 4: a backpacker.
Speaker 3: Yeah, So we finished the tubing, went back there, got ready,
Speaker 3: and we knew about this happy hour starting at eight,
Speaker 3: So we got there shortly after eight, and I think
Speaker 3: we I suspect we had about five or six We
Speaker 3: were doing rounds and we were sort of going up
Speaker 3: to get the shots, which we would then to count
Speaker 3: into plastic tumblers.
Speaker 1: And then we also brought some sprite which we mixed
Speaker 1: with it.
Speaker 3: So I can't say that I ever tasted Neat vodka,
Speaker 3: but I remember just putting a little bit of sprite
Speaker 3: in testing it to see how strong it was, and
Speaker 3: I thought, oh, maybe they've diluted it.
Speaker 1: It's quite weak.
Speaker 3: So at that point, obviously I didn't have any concerns
Speaker 3: because if something just tastes weak, you think, oh, well,
Speaker 3: there's probably not a lot of ethanol.
Speaker 1: In this a lot of alcohol.
Speaker 3: But obviously, when I look back to that time, I think, well,
Speaker 3: maybe that's because it wasn't actually ethanol. It was methanol,
Speaker 3: so it kin'd of been pure methanol. Obviously we know that.
Speaker 3: But yeah, for for whatever reason, Simone must have had more.
Speaker 3: I mean, she had exactly the same volume, but the
Speaker 3: concentration of what she had must have been more.
Speaker 4: What was the vibe at the backpackers that night, so
Speaker 4: I imagine there were people were in pretty high spirits. People
Speaker 4: are on holidays there from all around the world. Everybody's
Speaker 4: genuinely young. How many people were they at the at
Speaker 4: that happy hour?
Speaker 3: It's tricky because we just sat at the table and
Speaker 3: I think we were probably the first to arrive, and
Speaker 3: we were sitting with two Swedish backpackers and a Dutch
Speaker 3: backpacker that we've met already. And I don't recall seeing
Speaker 3: loads and loads of people there. I know there would
Speaker 3: have been a few, but you know, I don't think
Speaker 3: it would have been any more than thirty. And we
Speaker 3: actually felt that there wasn't that much going on, so
Speaker 3: we were able to play a card game, which normally
Speaker 3: if there's a lot going on, you wouldn't even be
Speaker 3: able to hear. So we were playing Piccolo, which is
Speaker 3: a game on your phone. Yeah, I don't recall it
Speaker 3: being particularly loud, and I think that's also why at
Speaker 3: ten o'clock, when the drinks finished, the happy hour drinks finished,
Speaker 3: everybody just went somewhere else because there wasn't an amazing atmosphere.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's supposed to be a party hostel, but
Speaker 3: I didn't get that particular vibe that night. So yeah,
Speaker 3: at ten o'clock, I actually went to bed because it
Speaker 3: was either that I had jet lag or it was
Speaker 3: that the method I was already starting to kick in,
Speaker 3: so I thought, okay, I'm going to go to bed,
Speaker 3: and the other three went onto a bar that we've
Speaker 3: been to a couple of nights before, so we knew
Speaker 3: that that one was okay. So they had a couple
Speaker 3: of drinks there and then came back. But yeah, later
Speaker 3: on we deduced that it can't have been that other
Speaker 3: bar because I didn't go there, and I still had
Speaker 3: I still had a problem.
Speaker 2: And we was simone at this point.
Speaker 1: So I got to bed about ten.
Speaker 3: She'd come back with our male friend at about just
Speaker 3: after midnight, so there was the three of us staying
Speaker 3: in a private room, and the male friend. I'm not
Speaker 3: going to mention his name because I don't think he
Speaker 3: really wants to be mentioned, but he is somebody that
Speaker 3: we both known for about ten years, and he met
Speaker 3: Simone at secondary school.
Speaker 2: Did you wake up when they came back.
Speaker 1: No, I think I was just truly out for the
Speaker 1: can I just I just passed out.
Speaker 4: So at what point did you realize that you were unwell?
Speaker 4: You had activity these planned the next day, So.
Speaker 3: We woke up the following morning, I think at about
Speaker 3: eight am, and we had this tour sort of half
Speaker 3: an hour later, so we were sort of trying to
Speaker 3: get everything ready and leave. But I just remember kind
Speaker 3: of coming down the steps from the hostel room and thinking, oh,
Speaker 3: I don't feel very steady here, and just generally feeling
Speaker 3: a bit confused and not really knowing what was going on.
Speaker 3: Absolutely no hunger whatsoever, which is quite unusual.
Speaker 4: Yeah, because normally, if it's a straightforward hangover, you're like,
Speaker 4: get me something.
Speaker 2: Very sy yeah. Yeah, and both of you were the same, Yeah.
Speaker 3: Very similar. I mean our male friend was similar at
Speaker 3: that point too. I think we all just agreed that
Speaker 3: something wasn't right, but we had no idea what it was,
Speaker 3: and because our cognitions didn't seem to be functioning either,
Speaker 3: we would never have come to the conclusion at the
Speaker 3: time that it was anything other than a hangover, because
Speaker 3: that was the only thing that sort of fitted with
Speaker 3: what we'd done, and we all wait diferent food. We
Speaker 3: definitely couldn't have put it down to food poisoning, so
Speaker 3: that was the only conclusion we came to at the time.
Speaker 3: And then obviously when we went to this tour, nothing
Speaker 3: really improved where it would have done. Really for a hangover,
Speaker 3: after you've had something to drink, had something to eat,
Speaker 3: you'd expect to feel that little bit better. But during
Speaker 3: that Blue Lagoon experience, Simone and I just had to
Speaker 3: sit down and we didn't want to swim, And again
Speaker 3: that's quite unusual for us because we're quite energetic. Especially
Speaker 3: when you're hungover. You just want to be in water,
Speaker 3: don't you, But no, not interested. And also our male
Speaker 3: friend at the time must have been feeling a little
Speaker 3: bit better because he was able to swim at that point,
Speaker 3: So that was all a little bit of a blur.
Speaker 3: But we actually took some pictures whilst we were there,
Speaker 3: because there were a couple of tourists that came up
Speaker 3: to us and said, can we have a picture with you, which,
Speaker 3: you know, we took a picture with them, and that
Speaker 3: is the last picture I have of Simone, and then
Speaker 3: we went on to do this kayaking experience shortly after that.
Speaker 2: Was that still at the Blue Lagoon. No, it was
Speaker 2: a different location.
Speaker 3: It was exactly where we'd done the tubing the day before,
Speaker 3: but because we felt that it might be nice just
Speaker 3: to sort of go at our own pace kayaking, that's
Speaker 3: what we chose to do.
Speaker 1: Except when we got.
Speaker 3: There, Simone and I couldn't actually sit up to do
Speaker 3: the kayaking, So instead of being able to use your core,
Speaker 3: sit up straight and paddle, we just had to lay
Speaker 3: flat on the backs of the kayaks and let the
Speaker 3: people that were so basically running the tour they had
Speaker 3: to get on our kayaks and actually paddle for us.
Speaker 3: So again, that should have been a big red flag.
Speaker 3: And I think at the time I was thinking this
Speaker 3: is this is quite odd, but again, because my brain
Speaker 3: wasn't functioning, I just thought, oh, this is you know,
Speaker 3: a really severe hangover. You know, I just didn't seem
Speaker 3: to have the lateral thinking of oh, could this be
Speaker 3: methanol poison?
Speaker 1: Could this be something else?
Speaker 3: It It just seemed to be an easy conclusion for
Speaker 3: me to come to. And I've saw Simone sort of
Speaker 3: being sick off of her kayak with our male friend
Speaker 3: on it, and I'm thinking, oh, she doesn't really do
Speaker 3: that unless it's motion sickness, and I'm thinking it's really
Speaker 3: motion sickness because we're so slow on these things. But anyway,
Speaker 3: that was the first time that she'd actually vomited. And
Speaker 3: then that experience, I was literally just looking up at
Speaker 3: the sky waiting for the whole thing to end because
Speaker 3: it was just pointless, you know, we weren't enjoying it.
Speaker 3: And we got back to the hostel after that when
Speaker 3: it had finished, and we were literally just waiting around
Speaker 3: to get on our bus to VNTI Anne, which was
Speaker 3: the next place that we needed to be, and that's
Speaker 3: where we were staying in our hostel the following well
Speaker 3: that night, but obviously we didn't end up getting there.
Speaker 3: But yeah, back at the hostel, Simone actually asked me,
Speaker 3: can you order me some food? And I'm thinking, oh, wow,
Speaker 3: you actually feel like eating, so again, I wasn't too
Speaker 3: worried about her at that point, so I'm thinking, what's
Speaker 3: good that you want to eat, because I've got no interest.
Speaker 3: So I ordered the food for her. She ate probably
Speaker 3: half of it, and then probably an hour later, we
Speaker 3: were just chilling by this pool at Nana backpacker by
Speaker 3: on these sun loungers, and then we needed to get
Speaker 3: on this bus. So probably around two o'clock we got
Speaker 3: on the bus. I just literally passed out right at
Speaker 3: the back of the bus. So I was knackered, and yeah,
Speaker 3: just so fatigued that I just couldn't stay away to
Speaker 3: talk to them. So I just sat at the back
Speaker 3: of the bus and they sat at the front. And
Speaker 3: then around an hour through that journey, probably at three
Speaker 3: half us three, my male friend called out to me, Biff,
Speaker 3: which is what someone used to call me, can you
Speaker 3: get off the bus.
Speaker 1: Simon's being sick vomiting.
Speaker 3: So I got off, checked on her, and then I fainted,
Speaker 3: and again, you know, in my head, I'm thinking, oh,
Speaker 3: that's a bit strange, but again I didn't seem to
Speaker 3: be able to understand that was quite severe in addition
Speaker 3: to the other symptoms, so you know, and I'm also thinking, oh,
Speaker 3: that can't have been a seizure, because I'm known I
Speaker 3: have epilepsy. So I was thinking, oh god, it's not that,
Speaker 3: because that would have been horrific, you know, that would
Speaker 3: have been trick ending. So the fact that I'd managed
Speaker 3: to literally just jump up after this faint and think,
Speaker 3: oh I kind of been a seizure because I'd still
Speaker 3: be out of it. We just got back on the bus,
Speaker 3: and no one around us on this bus seemed to
Speaker 3: take really any interest. No one said, you, guys, okay,
Speaker 3: I just saw you faint, You're okay. Nothing, So again,
Speaker 3: I suppose I just thought, oh, well, it can't be that.
Speaker 4: Bad, yes, because you're reading the cues from the people
Speaker 4: around you, and the people around you probably just assumed
Speaker 4: that you were two girls who had a large night. Yeah,
Speaker 4: and you were suffering the effects of a hangover. Had
Speaker 4: they pulled the bus over because Simone was so seek
Speaker 4: at that time.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3: And then our male friend said to the driver, I
Speaker 3: think we're going to need to drop us to a hospital,
Speaker 3: which they were prepared to do luckily, but unfortunately we
Speaker 3: went to a public hospital in Vieni Anne, who they
Speaker 3: were just pretty to be honest. So when we got there,
Speaker 3: I ended up just waiting outside with Simone because again
Speaker 3: we didn't understand severity of what was going on. So
Speaker 3: our male friend went in and we just watched him
Speaker 3: go in, and we waited outside just to sort of rest.
Speaker 3: There was some I think there's some benches or something
Speaker 3: that we could sit on, so we were just sitting there,
Speaker 3: and then after about an hour of doing that, I
Speaker 3: said to Simone, I think I'm going to have to
Speaker 3: go in because I'm not really feeling any better and
Speaker 3: I want to see what's happened with our other friend.
Speaker 1: So I went in.
Speaker 2: Had he gone in?
Speaker 4: Was he he was going in sort of to advocate
Speaker 4: for you, to say, I'm with these two girls who
Speaker 4: are unwill.
Speaker 3: And particularly he felt unwell and that's why he went in.
Speaker 3: But for us, we I think if I'd thought there
Speaker 3: was something seriously wrong, I would have gone in, But
Speaker 3: because again I'm just thinking, oh, it's a hangover, and
Speaker 3: I think this is the trouble. When we see these
Speaker 3: other cases, people just rest it off and they think
Speaker 3: that it's going to be fine and they're just laying
Speaker 3: in bed and then it all just goes wrong and
Speaker 3: they don't actually realize the severity what's going on. So,
Speaker 3: you know, the two Danish girls that are being sick,
Speaker 3: blood and the messaging, and I'm being sick, you know,
Speaker 3: large coming up. Surely that would be a red flag
Speaker 3: if you were feeling normal, But because you'd ingested this stuff,
Speaker 3: your brain just doesn't work.
Speaker 2: I didn't realize that.
Speaker 4: One of the side effects of mythanol poisoning is that
Speaker 4: it has this cognitive effect on you, so that you
Speaker 4: don't think clearly. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And this is why I've had to kind of give
Speaker 3: myself a bit of a bit of slack because at
Speaker 3: the time I was poisoned too, and I didn't pick
Speaker 3: up on what was going on. And I think having
Speaker 3: sort of spoken to my mum after the event as well,
Speaker 3: you know, my apparently when I rang her after the event,
Speaker 3: my eyes were moving properly and my speech was slow,
Speaker 3: and clearly it wasn't just me, you know, other people
Speaker 3: could see it. It wasn't just like you know, I
Speaker 3: thought my brain wasn't working. She could see it wasn't working. So,
Speaker 3: you know, at least I don't have to blame myself
Speaker 3: in that, you know, my brain was working perfectly, and
Speaker 3: my friends still died. You know, I think in this situation,
Speaker 3: we were all screwed basically. And also with Simone, you know,
Speaker 3: she chose not to go into that public hospital as well,
Speaker 3: and I did try and encourage her in there, but
Speaker 3: she just wasn't having it. And she was one of
Speaker 3: those strong willed people who, you know, you couldn't tell
Speaker 3: her to not do something or to do something. She
Speaker 3: would have to make that decision herself. She's a very
Speaker 3: strong willed person.
Speaker 2: And also she was a lawyer, So just knowing generally.
Speaker 4: The personality type that become lawyers, they do tend to
Speaker 4: be people who are very certain of themselves.
Speaker 3: Yes, and I think she wouldn't have thought that it
Speaker 3: was anything bad going on because similarly to me, she
Speaker 3: probably thought it was just a hangover, because I think
Speaker 3: she said to her other friend, this is a really
Speaker 3: severe hangover. This was earlier in the day, so she
Speaker 3: obviously hadn't come to the conclusion it was anything worse,
Speaker 3: and she had no idea about methanol poisoning either. So anyway,
Speaker 3: we sat outside this hospital for a while.
Speaker 1: I then went in.
Speaker 3: As soon as I got in, I said to them,
Speaker 3: look what is this, And they were like, well, we
Speaker 3: think it's food poisoning. I said, too rather friendly, it
Speaker 3: can't be that, because we all have different diets.
Speaker 1: It can't possibly be that.
Speaker 3: I wasn't vomiting, I hadn't had diarrhe I hadn't even
Speaker 3: got stomach pain. So they just kept going on with
Speaker 3: that diagnosis, really, and until somemone came in, that was
Speaker 3: still their diagnosis, and they took me up to an
Speaker 3: ivy drip, which I was very reluctant to do. I
Speaker 3: didn't really want them sticking needles in my hand without
Speaker 3: knowing what it was that was actually going on. But
Speaker 3: because our male friend had had success with feeling better,
Speaker 3: I thought, all right, well I'll just continue on the
Speaker 3: same treatment plan that you've started on. I think they
Speaker 3: also gave me some anti sickness stuff later as well,
Speaker 3: but at that time I didn't feel that bad.
Speaker 4: What was the situation at the hospital, what, what was
Speaker 4: the makeup of it was? I imagine it was quite
Speaker 4: a humble DIYer. Yeah it was, yeah.
Speaker 1: Right world, Yeah so it was.
Speaker 3: When you went in, it was one big ward, obviously
Speaker 3: really overcrowded. There was just a separate room which was
Speaker 3: used as their sort of version of ICU. Not many doctors,
Speaker 3: very few nursing stuff sort of available, And I remember
Speaker 3: actually going to the toilet in there at one point
Speaker 3: and there was no pound wash, there was there was
Speaker 3: no toilet paper. I actually ripped my canula out to
Speaker 3: use the toilet. That was basically what we were, what
Speaker 3: we're talking about. I imagine the care for other people
Speaker 3: wasn't great. If we were told that we had food poisoning,
Speaker 3: then I'm sure there were probably other misdiagnoses going on
Speaker 3: there too, But anyway, I eventually got myself in there,
Speaker 3: That's what they said, and then I waited probably another
Speaker 3: hour before Simone eventually came in and she walked in.
Speaker 1: She's still talking again.
Speaker 3: I'm thinking, well, you're pretty much the same as me,
Speaker 3: except that you've been vomiting, which is obviously a bit
Speaker 3: more severe.
Speaker 1: So they put her in a bed, which wasn't really
Speaker 1: part of the ward.
Speaker 3: It seemed like the hospital was so overcrowded that she'd
Speaker 3: sort of gone on like a gurney type I don't know,
Speaker 3: like a stretchery type thing, you know, those wheelie beds,
Speaker 3: And I think she would have got in there maybe
Speaker 3: past five six o'clock, and then they started her on
Speaker 3: all the same course of treatment, and I also gave
Speaker 3: her some electrolytes, which she vomited up immediately, and I
Speaker 3: checked her heart rate actually with my watch, and it
Speaker 3: was eighty two.
Speaker 1: So I thought, oh, well, you know, it's a.
Speaker 3: Bit high, but it's not overly overly concerning at this point,
Speaker 3: and at about eight half past eight, we noticed that
Speaker 3: her breathing had changed and she started gasping for air,
Speaker 3: and that, for me was when I thought, crap. I
Speaker 3: really have no idea what this is, because a hangover
Speaker 3: would never lead to that, and I had no other
Speaker 3: sort of differentials in my head. And they said to me,
Speaker 3: we think that she's got she's had some drugs. So
Speaker 3: is it amthetamines? Has she taken amfetamines? No, for God's sake,
Speaker 3: just listen to what I'm saying. So they just kept
Speaker 3: going on about drugs, and at this point she also
Speaker 3: needed to be restrained because she was also ripping out
Speaker 3: her canula. And yeah, we were obviously just confused because
Speaker 3: we weren't like that. So we just thought, well, why
Speaker 3: is it that she's doing that, you know, And they
Speaker 3: moved her into this separate part of the hospital which
Speaker 3: was just a three bed ICU room.
Speaker 1: So I went in there with her, tried to talk
Speaker 1: to her, and she just looked.
Speaker 2: How was she at that point? Was she?
Speaker 3: No, she had this oxygen in her nose, but she
Speaker 3: she wasn't able to talk to me.
Speaker 1: She wasn't even able to look at me at this point.
Speaker 3: So I'm saying to her, look, try and calm down,
Speaker 3: because they were saying to me, is she anxious?
Speaker 1: And I'm like, no, she doesn't get anxious.
Speaker 3: But I was trying to say to her, look trying
Speaker 3: and concentrate on me, like but she just looked vacant.
Speaker 1: She just looked ahead. She also looking at me.
Speaker 3: So that's when I knew that something obviously wasn't right
Speaker 3: with her brain. And luckily, our male friend was on
Speaker 3: his phone and he had his phone connection all set
Speaker 3: up so that he was using the internet where I didn't,
Speaker 3: and he managed to find a private hospital which was
Speaker 3: I think twenty minutes away, so he called them. I
Speaker 3: think the first call was made at about nine pm
Speaker 3: and they said to him, look, you need to have
Speaker 3: insurance to come here, and we were obviously like what
Speaker 3: we do but they said, oh, we need proof, and
Speaker 3: basically wasn't getting anywhere and they weren't coming. So he
Speaker 3: called them again at half past nine, same thing, we
Speaker 3: need to see the insurance. So anyway, we rang them
Speaker 3: a third time and I ended up saying to the doctor,
Speaker 3: can you please speak to this hospital because we're not
Speaker 3: getting anywhere here, like we need to be somewhere else.
Speaker 1: And luckily she did and they did come and collect us.
Speaker 3: But by the time that they came probably half past ten,
Speaker 3: and that's probably quite a long delay for somebody who's
Speaker 3: struggling to breathe.
Speaker 1: So we got to this private hospital.
Speaker 3: I know he got there at twenty past eleven, as
Speaker 3: that's what it said on the report. But during that journey,
Speaker 3: I've got absolutely no recollection. I remember sitting at the
Speaker 3: front next to the driver and literally just falling asleep.
Speaker 1: Don't remember the journey.
Speaker 2: After the break.
Speaker 4: Bethany shares what unfolded during those critical hours at the
Speaker 4: private hospital. At this time while you're trying to advocate
Speaker 4: for simone where you've realized is in different circumstances than
Speaker 4: you were, but your own circumstances were terrible.
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, it wasn't great.
Speaker 3: I was just feeling so fatigued, most fatigued I've ever
Speaker 3: felt in my life.
Speaker 1: It was just awful.
Speaker 3: And then when we arrived, I vaguely remember our male
Speaker 3: friend saying to the paramedic, do you think this could
Speaker 3: be methanol poisoning?
Speaker 1: You'd actually done a bit of research on his.
Speaker 3: Phone, and obviously I was like, what, you know, we've
Speaker 3: been poisoned, and they said, well, yeah, actually it could be,
Speaker 3: because we've seen four or five cases of this before,
Speaker 3: so is every chance that it is that. But what's
Speaker 3: frustrating is that in the media there's no reports of
Speaker 3: methanol poisoning ever in Lao, So it's frustrating that it
Speaker 3: has happened there before, but it's never been recorded. So
Speaker 3: when we got in there, I've got a handover all
Speaker 3: the passports, signing to sort of say we give our
Speaker 3: consent for everything that's happening. They said to me, look,
Speaker 3: we're going to take her off for hemodialysis, clean her blood,
Speaker 3: and hopefully, you know, we're going to do our best
Speaker 3: for her. So they put us into sort of a
Speaker 3: triage area of the hospital. We were given a couple
Speaker 3: of beds there while Simone was separate to us and
Speaker 3: was taken off for that. And yeah, they said to me,
Speaker 3: you know, we'll do the best we can to save
Speaker 3: her life, but we think she's in here a bit late.
Speaker 3: And I'm thinking, well, it's not possible. You know, we're
Speaker 3: all the same, we've had the same stuff. You know,
Speaker 3: there's no reason why she can't come back from this.
Speaker 3: So I wasn't too concerned, and also in my state,
Speaker 3: I wasn't in a position to be concerned. I was
Speaker 3: just tied, so I was just falling. As soon as
Speaker 3: they'd come over to get me to sign something, I'd
Speaker 3: fall straight to sleep. So the only thing I remember
Speaker 3: was sort of being moved to icee you and coming
Speaker 3: round the following day waking up asking how she was,
Speaker 3: and they said, well, actually we think she's a bit
Speaker 3: better this morning because you know, I cleaned her blood.
Speaker 1: All of her organs are you know, they should be clean.
Speaker 3: Now. We're going to do some bloods on her check them.
Speaker 3: And the next thing I heard, all of her organs
Speaker 3: were fine. It was just you know, they've given us
Speaker 3: some sedation because she was so agitated because of the
Speaker 3: breathing thing, and she'd also had five seizures, but at
Speaker 3: the time I was told it was one seizure, which
Speaker 3: I thought, you know, one seizure or you can come
Speaker 3: back from that. But because it was five, that's a
Speaker 3: lot of seizures for somebody that doesn't have seizures.
Speaker 2: Were you able to see her at that time.
Speaker 3: No, No, So with the information that I had, I
Speaker 3: made the decision to contact her mum and say, look,
Speaker 3: apparently she's feeling better this morning. But I told her
Speaker 3: what the diagnosis was, metabolic sidosis as a result of
Speaker 3: being poisoned with methanol, which is where your blood is
Speaker 3: really acidic as a result of the form of acid
Speaker 3: and formaldehyde that is the byproducts of consuming methanol.
Speaker 1: So yeah, that's kind of what we knew at the time.
Speaker 3: I told her mum that over text message because I
Speaker 3: wasn't really in a position to have a phone call
Speaker 3: with somebody, and she came straight back saying, I hope
Speaker 3: she gets better soon, and I was thinking, you know, yeah,
Speaker 3: I hope so too. But I kind of I suppose,
Speaker 3: I kind of thought maybe she'd want to speak to
Speaker 3: me or kind of get a bit more clarification, but
Speaker 3: her mum is very much always sort of thinks about
Speaker 3: the best case scenario, whereas I'm always what is the
Speaker 3: worst case scenario?
Speaker 2: A catastrophized her?
Speaker 3: I am, yeah, So I'd had that conversation with her,
Speaker 3: and I thought, oh, well she thinks it's all right,
Speaker 3: then yeah, hopefully it will be, and which.
Speaker 1: I shouldn't think it was all right.
Speaker 3: But you know the way that I that she sent back,
Speaker 3: I wasn't worried that she was really worried, if you
Speaker 3: see what I mean.
Speaker 2: But then there was a bit she wasn't panicking.
Speaker 1: She wasn't panicking. No way. My mom would have been like,
Speaker 1: oh God, what's happened?
Speaker 4: Had you called your mom? Had you messaged your mum
Speaker 4: at this point?
Speaker 2: Or were your nuts? Just with Simon?
Speaker 3: I was waiting because I also didn't want to worry
Speaker 3: my parents if there was going to be some kind
Speaker 3: of disaster with myself. You know, I wanted to be
Speaker 3: clued up, and I didn't want to have a phone
Speaker 3: call and say, well, I don't know, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I wanted to know what was going on a bit
Speaker 3: more before I had sort of made calls. And also
Speaker 3: I wasn't really with it enough to get through a
Speaker 3: phone call either. So that all happened. I think the
Speaker 3: either later on that day or followed the following day,
Speaker 3: but the text message was kind of the first thing
Speaker 3: that we we got done, because you know, I didn't
Speaker 3: really want to be responsible for what was going on
Speaker 3: with her because I have my own stuff to deal with,
Speaker 3: and also I was thinking, well, yeah, maybe she will
Speaker 3: need to come over at some point.
Speaker 1: She needs to know now.
Speaker 3: So anyway, we then kind of got moved later on
Speaker 3: that day, so we've been in ICU I think for
Speaker 3: about twenty four hours. We then got moved to a
Speaker 3: separate part of that hospital to just basically recover because
Speaker 3: we weren't kind of critical anymore.
Speaker 1: They'd managed to give us some sodium by carbonate.
Speaker 2: And Simone was we're still at this point.
Speaker 3: Still in ICU, so she always was in ICU. We've
Speaker 3: been given pretty much everything you can think of, you know,
Speaker 3: sodium by carbonate, potassium, magnesium. The only symptom that I
Speaker 3: really had that I can recall being particularly severe in
Speaker 3: that hospital was really really severe burning in suphagus. So
Speaker 3: they given me this potassium drink that I needed to
Speaker 3: drink to get my potasium levels up, and I say, look,
Speaker 3: can you give this to me in another form because
Speaker 3: I literally can't get this down, and they were like, you.
Speaker 1: Have to drink it. We've got no other way of
Speaker 1: giving that to you.
Speaker 3: So I had to force myself to drink it, but
Speaker 3: every single sit it was burning, so I had to
Speaker 3: have tiny bit of water to flush it down, but
Speaker 3: even the water was burning. It was just obviously the
Speaker 3: former CASSID had got in and that's the area that
Speaker 3: it was kind of attacking, where I think for the
Speaker 3: others they were getting more stomach pain and more stomach
Speaker 3: related stuff. But actually, other than the nausea, I wasn't
Speaker 3: getting too much stomach pain at that time, so for me,
Speaker 3: I think that was the most severe part. But that
Speaker 3: obviously had improved a bit, and they'd given me a
Speaker 3: lot of gastro drugs, you know, about four different stomach
Speaker 3: related drugs to take. So I was, yeah, just discharged
Speaker 3: to this other part of the hospital to basically just
Speaker 3: drink plenty of water and to just try and sleep,
Speaker 3: but obviously, given what had.
Speaker 1: Happened, there was no way that sleep was on the cards.
Speaker 3: A male friend and I went off and we spent
Speaker 3: another I think three nights on that separate ward just recovering,
Speaker 3: and during that time her mum had managed to book
Speaker 3: flights to come over because she was meant to have
Speaker 3: come around from sedationan I think doing day or the
Speaker 3: day after, and that she still hadn't. So he said
Speaker 3: to Sue, you know, she was meant to have come
Speaker 3: around from sedasia, but she hasn't. Basically, I think it'd
Speaker 3: be good if you can get over here. So that's
Speaker 3: when she booked her flights.
Speaker 4: So simone, as you said, was under sedation, the expectation
Speaker 4: would have been that she would have regained consciousness and
Speaker 4: come to So who had been messaging her mum Sue
Speaker 4: to tell her that her daughter had not me So again.
Speaker 3: Contrically the lack of communication in that hospital because no
Speaker 3: one really spoke good English. It was having to go
Speaker 3: via me because they didn't seem to be able to
Speaker 3: call her and tell her this, So I was having
Speaker 3: to be the sort of interpreter. But yeah, I had
Speaker 3: a conversation with the new resurgeon when she wasn't waking up.
Speaker 1: I then spoke to him.
Speaker 3: He said, look, what's happening is that the left side
Speaker 3: of her brain is swollen and we need to do
Speaker 3: a decompression craniotomy to release this swelling on her brain.
Speaker 3: Otherwise it's just not going to get better and she
Speaker 3: could be in a coma.
Speaker 4: Which is a massive This is a massive operation. It was,
Speaker 4: but obviously we had no other option.
Speaker 3: And he said, look, it's about twenty percent chance it
Speaker 3: will actually do what it needs to do, but there
Speaker 3: will be other surgeries and other sort of risks as
Speaker 3: well that could happen, so they could be bleeding, etc.
Speaker 3: And even if it did work, we would then need
Speaker 3: to do another surgery.
Speaker 1: And I was like, this is just nuts.
Speaker 4: It was.
Speaker 3: It was so surreal. I didn't think it was even happening.
Speaker 3: I was like, am I in some kind of alternate universe?
Speaker 3: Like word just really didn't understand what was going on.
Speaker 2: At this point.
Speaker 4: Bethany, have you been able to lay eyes on somemone
Speaker 4: or are you still in the two different parts of
Speaker 4: the hospital.
Speaker 3: I did see her, yeah, and as soon as I
Speaker 3: saw her, she had a tube down her, So no,
Speaker 3: it wasn't a nice sight. I just remember looking at
Speaker 3: her and thinking like come on, like you need to
Speaker 3: get out of this, this is ridiculous. Come on, But
Speaker 3: she just she was too far gone. You know, she
Speaker 3: would have already been brain damaged. I think in that
Speaker 3: public hospital when I was trying to look at her
Speaker 3: and she was looking beyond me. I think her brain
Speaker 3: damage was done then, to be honest, but I didn't
Speaker 3: know that at the time, and I was just I
Speaker 3: was just thinking, oh, well, she's had the same as me,
Speaker 3: she'd be fine, and yeah, she obviously wasn't fine. So yeah,
Speaker 3: this conversation with the nearest surgeon, he said, well, can
Speaker 3: you ring Simone's mum then and explain that? And that's
Speaker 3: what I had to do. So I caught my dad
Speaker 3: first and said, you know, the statistics of what was
Speaker 3: likely to happen, and they said, oh god, okay, I'm
Speaker 3: going to ring Sue. And we had a three way
Speaker 3: conversation where basically I ended up telling Sue what the
Speaker 3: deal was, and Sue was very practical and said, yes,
Speaker 3: I'll get the forms back straight away.
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll have to do it. You know, I think
Speaker 1: she just got into that mindset.
Speaker 4: Of because you two had grown up together. I imagine
Speaker 4: that you'd seen quite a lot of Sue, yes, Simon's
Speaker 4: mum as well, growing up, so she knew you very well,
Speaker 4: and you her. Did your parents know each other as well?
Speaker 3: Yeah, we used to spend Christmas Eve together, so we'd
Speaker 3: go for a meal, and that's actually what we're going
Speaker 3: to be doing this year as well, and we've done
Speaker 3: it for the last few years quite religiously, so that
Speaker 3: will continue.
Speaker 4: So soon knew the makeup of you and knew that
Speaker 4: you how grave the situation was for you to be
Speaker 4: calling her and saying this is the operation of said
Speaker 4: needs to be done.
Speaker 3: I think she would have known from the brain surgery
Speaker 3: being mentioned that really the chances were very slim, but
Speaker 3: she just had no other option but to kind of
Speaker 3: come over because not only for Simone, but for us,
Speaker 3: because we were just in a state of like, how
Speaker 3: can we deal with this on our own? Like you know,
Speaker 3: it was just torrific being in that hospital and the
Speaker 3: lack of communication as well, you know, and it was
Speaker 3: good to have an adult there who it could sort
Speaker 3: of take responsibility for.
Speaker 1: What was going on as well.
Speaker 3: Yes, because yeah, it was a lot for me to
Speaker 3: sort of mentally deal with everything, the trauma and everything else.
Speaker 4: At this point, how are you feeling mentally? Have you
Speaker 4: emerged from that sort of the vacancy of the methanol poisoning.
Speaker 2: You're not one hundred percent obviously, Oh.
Speaker 3: No, I wouldn't have been one hundred percent, But I
Speaker 3: think I could have a conversation without it sounding odd, right.
Speaker 3: I was just really really tired but couldn't sleep because
Speaker 3: of the situation. I was just wired, I think would
Speaker 3: probably be the right way of describing it. At one point,
Speaker 3: the doctors did give us some sort of sleeping pills
Speaker 3: so that we could get to sleep, but even that
Speaker 3: didn't cut it for me. Yeah, it was just a
Speaker 3: really really bad time. And I remember going online to
Speaker 3: try and get a neurology consult that you pay like
Speaker 3: five pounds for and you'd sort of type in all
Speaker 3: of the details and then they'd come back to you
Speaker 3: and say this is what you should do. And I'd
Speaker 3: got pictures of her scans of her brain, you know,
Speaker 3: her brain basically where she was unconscious, and I was
Speaker 3: sending this off to this neurologist on this website and
Speaker 3: he would he was just sort of coming back and saying, well,
Speaker 3: you have to trust the doctors there basically because they
Speaker 3: can deal with her in real time. I was just like, yeah,
Speaker 3: but this is a different country, different roles, Like obviously
Speaker 3: everything was going through her insurer, but I suppose I
Speaker 3: just didn't fully trust that what was going on there
Speaker 3: would have been what was going on in the UK,
Speaker 3: or in Australia or in a developed country. But we
Speaker 3: were assured by the insurers that basically this brain surgery
Speaker 3: would be the right thing to do. But actually we
Speaker 3: found out later from a professor who specializes in methanol
Speaker 3: poisoning that you would never do brain surgery because it
Speaker 3: would never work and it would just be basically be.
Speaker 1: A complete waste of time. And it was obviously causing more.
Speaker 3: Stress as well, because she had to have her hair
Speaker 3: shaved off, you know, we had to she had to
Speaker 3: have several blood transfusions to get her platelets high enough
Speaker 3: to actually do the surgery in the first place.
Speaker 1: And obviously there was the additional sort of worry.
Speaker 3: For her mum about her going through a procedure like that, So.
Speaker 2: Yeah, where's her mum? Where's her mum?
Speaker 3: At this point, by the time that she actually had
Speaker 3: the brain surgery, Sue had actually seen her just before
Speaker 3: she went in, so it was it was actually quite
Speaker 3: good timing with the delays with the transfusions that she
Speaker 3: needed to have.
Speaker 1: Sue got there just in the nick of time to
Speaker 1: see her.
Speaker 3: Obviously her hair was shaved and everything, but yeah, it
Speaker 3: was nice for her to see her beforehand, I think.
Speaker 3: And yeah, and then the next thing, we were told,
Speaker 3: probably four or five hours later, that she'd come out
Speaker 3: the brain surgery work, but it caused a bleed on
Speaker 3: that side, and we had a little bit of hope
Speaker 3: for probably a few hours, and then they said, actually,
Speaker 3: now the other side of her brain is swollen to
Speaker 3: so basically that's it. There's nothing else that we can
Speaker 3: do for her. The way that they've phrased it was
Speaker 3: particularly odd, I remember, because they were tied doctors and nurses,
Speaker 3: a lot of them, and I think this particular doctor
Speaker 3: had said something like, we do surgery but she being coma,
Speaker 3: and I was like, what do you mean, Like, obviously
Speaker 3: we're not going to do another surgery then. So it
Speaker 3: was just it was just really difficult to actually communicate
Speaker 3: with people. And yeah, it was you had to sort
Speaker 3: of rephrase things several times to get them to basically
Speaker 3: give you the answer that you needed. They wouldn't be
Speaker 3: able to just say, right, we're not going to do
Speaker 3: any surgery. They'd be saying roundabout ways of describing it.
Speaker 4: What happened next is something Bith and he will carry forever.
Speaker 4: After the break, she shares that moment. Where are you
Speaker 4: at this point? Are you still a patient or you're
Speaker 4: sort of just there waiting bedside?
Speaker 3: We were still patient, but we were well enough to
Speaker 3: actually go downstairs and see her because I think we
Speaker 3: were sort of carrying around drips of various things. So
Speaker 3: we were around definitely. But yeah, we were then discharged.
Speaker 3: I think might have been the Sunday, Saturday or Sunday,
Speaker 3: and we've got in there on the Wednesday. Yeah, that's
Speaker 3: about right, so four or five five days. Yeah, all
Speaker 3: of the surgery stuff had been done. You know by
Speaker 3: the time that we left, they basically said, look, we're
Speaker 3: going to have to wait for her to die naturally, And.
Speaker 1: Obviously we're thinking, well how long is that going to take?
Speaker 3: Like, you know, we can't be in a country indefinitely
Speaker 3: waiting for her to go.
Speaker 4: Was that the first time that they had talked about
Speaker 4: death in those terms.
Speaker 3: Well, obviously, given that we knew she was undergoing brain
Speaker 3: surgery with very limited chance of it working, that had
Speaker 3: obviously come into my head before, but yeah, it was
Speaker 3: the first time that they really sort of focused in
Speaker 3: on the fact that we were going to need to
Speaker 3: wait for her to go. But with that, obviously her
Speaker 3: heart was functioning. So you know, we were waiting for
Speaker 3: about four days and her stats hadn't changed, and sometimes,
Speaker 3: you know, we'd wake up in the morning her blood
Speaker 3: pressure would be even higher.
Speaker 1: We'd be thinking, well, how long are we going to
Speaker 1: be here?
Speaker 3: So in the end, our male friend had book flights
Speaker 3: and then I said to Sue, look, I'm going to
Speaker 3: have to go because I can't.
Speaker 1: I can't be here anymore.
Speaker 3: So we'd book the flights for the twenty first of November,
Speaker 3: which is which ended up actually being the day that
Speaker 3: Simone died, so Sue we wanted to get on those
Speaker 3: same flights. Really that morning, Sue had said to the consulate,
Speaker 3: is there anything you can do? Because we're now just
Speaker 3: waiting for someone to die and we can't really, we
Speaker 3: can't be here much longer, you know, we need to
Speaker 3: speed this up somehow. What's the point of that. It's
Speaker 3: just harming us, it's not harming her anymore. So prolonging
Speaker 3: the agony belonging something that's not gonna Yeah. So what
Speaker 3: was actually quite frustrating is that we had a group
Speaker 3: chat with somebody who was acting as an interpreter, although
Speaker 3: not particularly good English, to be honest, and she was
Speaker 3: sending us.
Speaker 1: Through the stats.
Speaker 3: But we could see that she was being given glucose
Speaker 3: whilst we were waiting for her to die. She was
Speaker 3: being given gluecose and she was also being given additional oxygen.
Speaker 3: So I thought she was breathing air, but actually she
Speaker 3: was breathing more oxygenated air.
Speaker 1: So I'm saying, sorry, what's going on?
Speaker 3: Why is she being given something more than what the
Speaker 3: average person would be. You know, we're not trying to
Speaker 3: prolong her life here, we're trying to end it. And
Speaker 3: they said, oh, we've got to do these things gradually,
Speaker 3: blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: What they were actually.
Speaker 3: Trying to do is earn more money for their hospital
Speaker 3: because some moment at that point, someone was the only
Speaker 3: person in their ICU, so she was the one that
Speaker 3: was funding everything.
Speaker 2: So that's and she had insurance.
Speaker 3: She had insurance, which obviously was I think it was
Speaker 3: a very very hefty insurance bill.
Speaker 1: In the end, it was thirty pounds or something.
Speaker 3: But anyway, yeah, they were doing all this stuff and
Speaker 3: we were saying to them, can you stop because this
Speaker 3: isn't helping.
Speaker 1: So they did stop it, but it was very gradual.
Speaker 3: They put the gluecose, turned it off, and then the
Speaker 3: air they brought the oxygen level down to what air
Speaker 3: would be, but still that didn't actually help sort of
Speaker 3: bring things to a close. So yeah, Sue had to
Speaker 3: have this chat with the consulate and he must have
Speaker 3: spoken to the hospital and she was then allowed to
Speaker 3: switch it off herself, which is what she had to
Speaker 3: do in order for us to leave the country.
Speaker 4: So SA mine's mum who had to turn off, was
Speaker 4: that it was effective life support.
Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, and I think it took three gos to
Speaker 3: actually fully do it because no one's willing to be
Speaker 3: in the room with her.
Speaker 1: I'd said, do you.
Speaker 3: Want me in there, but she wanted it to be
Speaker 3: a private moment with her and her husband and her son,
Speaker 3: so she had them on the end of the phone
Speaker 3: and she did it, tried to do it herself, and
Speaker 3: I think the first thing that happened was the backup
Speaker 3: ventilator came on, so obviously she'd had to come out,
Speaker 3: talk to them, ask them how to get that.
Speaker 1: Well, then they told her how to do that.
Speaker 3: Then she didn't realize she had to take the tube out,
Speaker 3: so she had to take the tube out.
Speaker 1: Oh, so basically the whole thing was long and drawn out.
Speaker 3: I was looking at these machines on the outside, hoping
Speaker 3: that it would be quick, but actually ended up being
Speaker 3: a lot longer than we anticipated. But from the time
Speaker 3: that she actually turned it off to the time that
Speaker 3: Simone officially died, it was about half an hour.
Speaker 2: So yeah, and how was her mum? Then?
Speaker 3: I think relieved actually to some extent, because we were
Speaker 3: just waiting and we didn't know when that end date
Speaker 3: was going to be, and I didn't want to leave
Speaker 3: her in Low so I think there was a little
Speaker 3: bit of relief when we were actually able to.
Speaker 1: Finally, you know, say goodbye.
Speaker 3: Obviously she was devastated and we were crying and it
Speaker 3: was all it was all horrible, but it meant that
Speaker 3: she could get that flight with us, which gave us
Speaker 3: the safety that we needed and also probably helped her
Speaker 3: out a little bit too. So that evening we flew
Speaker 3: out of Loud back to the UK.
Speaker 4: You must have been actually exhausted. But how was the flight?
Speaker 3: Yeah, well I ended up paying for business class just
Speaker 3: so that I could sleep, because I hadn't slept that
Speaker 3: entire time waiting wait for the inevitable. Really, but I
Speaker 3: think that was probably the best sleep that I had
Speaker 3: had for the last sort of week because it was done,
Speaker 3: there was no more waiting. And Yeah, unfortunately, Simone's mum
Speaker 3: had a particularly bad experience on the flight because, you know,
Speaker 3: we tried to say to the airline staff, you know,
Speaker 3: is there any chance that she could be given a
Speaker 3: seat in business class because of what's happened? And you know,
Speaker 3: I was showing them the headlines. They were like, no, sorry,
Speaker 3: if we said yes to her, we'd say yes to it.
Speaker 3: We'd have to say yes to other people. And I
Speaker 3: was like, who are the other people though, and they
Speaker 3: were like, oh, someone broke their leg. It's like, well, sorry,
Speaker 3: this is a completely different it's a completely different situation.
Speaker 4: So there had been no consular you know, wording up
Speaker 4: of the airline anything like that. Their assistants didn't extend
Speaker 4: to that, to there being compassionate grounds for trading, no,
Speaker 4: you know, Simone's mum, No, probably would have.
Speaker 3: Been sensible but I think because it was a flight
Speaker 3: that was booked so last minute, like she literally booked
Speaker 3: it that morning. And the concert was good in that
Speaker 3: he got us through the Lao airport because we were
Speaker 3: actually quite panicked that we were going to be arrested
Speaker 3: for slander because of the things that were going on
Speaker 3: on Facebook. You know, I'd put something out of Facebook
Speaker 3: saying this is what's going on?
Speaker 1: Has anyone else been poisoned?
Speaker 3: So I was then worried that my name was out
Speaker 3: there and that somehow low officials were going to be
Speaker 3: in the airport sort of talking to us.
Speaker 1: But anyway, it was fine.
Speaker 3: He insisted it would be fine, and it was fine,
Speaker 3: and he got us through the airport okay, And yeah,
Speaker 3: that was kind of where his duties sort of ended,
Speaker 3: I think.
Speaker 1: But no, the concert was pretty good.
Speaker 3: He did quite well to sort of keep us quite calm,
Speaker 3: and yeah, we obviously weren't in a position to be calm,
Speaker 3: so he was our grounding really whilst we were there.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I think we were just really glad to
Speaker 3: be home.
Speaker 4: Was that a time when you know, you were returning
Speaker 4: to familiar surrounds, but they were I imagine unfamiliar because
Speaker 4: your friend was not there.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think I was definitely in a state of
Speaker 3: shock when I got back, because I just kind of
Speaker 3: had to keep it all going when we were there,
Speaker 3: but when I got back, it was at a state
Speaker 3: of yeah, you have to try and still function, but
Speaker 3: I was in a state of shock, so I would
Speaker 3: sort of get up and then feel dizzy and need
Speaker 3: to sit down and just things like that. Really, and
Speaker 3: I think that lasted for about two weeks, and obviously
Speaker 3: when we were at Christmas really and then obviously over Christmas,
Speaker 3: there was a lot of kind of reminders of what
Speaker 3: we'd normally be doing, and we actually had events planned
Speaker 3: which was supposed to be coming up, but obviously, given
Speaker 3: that she was no longer with us, those days we'd
Speaker 3: come up and I'd just delete them out of the
Speaker 3: calendar because, yeah, it was a horrible time because we
Speaker 3: had so many plans which.
Speaker 4: And instead was there a memorial for her or a funeral?
Speaker 2: What did her family do in that event?
Speaker 1: So we didn't. I think Sue didn't want to rush
Speaker 1: the funerals.
Speaker 3: So the funeral actually happened in January, so a bit
Speaker 3: after Christmas, And I think the reason being that she
Speaker 3: didn't want to rush the planning of it, so you
Speaker 3: know what kind of music and getting all the photographs together,
Speaker 3: and she had a lot of other things to deal
Speaker 3: with at the same time, you know, even just the
Speaker 3: repatriation process, and you know, other things that needs to
Speaker 3: go on, like post mortem, and you know, she had
Speaker 3: a house and only just bought a flat, so she
Speaker 3: needed to sort things out with that too. So there
Speaker 3: was just a lot for Sue to deal with, and
Speaker 3: I think she felt it was best to leave it
Speaker 3: until January, which was the right decision because I wasn't
Speaker 3: in a fit state to attend a funeral the way
Speaker 3: that I was, and with that little gap that we had,
Speaker 3: I was able to get a little bit of rest
Speaker 3: so that I could successfully do a bit of a
Speaker 3: tribute for Simone on the day of her funeral.
Speaker 1: So it was for the best.
Speaker 4: Really, what has the process of grief looked like for
Speaker 4: you since then?
Speaker 1: It's a very slow process.
Speaker 3: I think for me it was kind of dealing with
Speaker 3: the trauma first, because the trauma seems to even now
Speaker 3: be too.
Speaker 1: It's two separate things. So the trauma's here and the.
Speaker 3: Grief is here, and I'm now I think trying to
Speaker 3: deal with the grief.
Speaker 1: But I've kind of kind of got there with the trauma.
Speaker 3: I think I don't really have flashbacks or anything or
Speaker 3: like nightmares, but obviously I do get reminders of things,
Speaker 3: but nothing is of debilitating or really really severe. So yeah,
Speaker 3: for me, it's just trying to process what's happened, and
Speaker 3: you know, the death of her really and the loss,
Speaker 3: the personal loss I have from not having my friend anymore.
Speaker 3: You know her daily and we'd send voice notes daily,
Speaker 3: and you to not have that anymore. She was my
Speaker 3: guiding light in a way, like if I had a problems,
Speaker 3: she'd be the first person I would contact. So I'm
Speaker 3: now having to do a lot of internal work to
Speaker 3: try and work these problems out for myself. So yeah,
Speaker 3: it's a slow pro aggress and I think, yeah, I've
Speaker 3: come a long way.
Speaker 1: Basically, I've come a long way.
Speaker 3: And I think doing this campaign as well has kind
Speaker 3: of had this distraction. It's been a bit of distraction,
Speaker 3: I think for the grief, but it's also been a
Speaker 3: really good way of kind of using my time to
Speaker 3: commemorate and remember and do something good in her memory,
Speaker 3: because I think that she would have achieved so much
Speaker 3: in her life, so that if I can do this
Speaker 3: so that other people don't have to go through it,
Speaker 3: then I think that can only be a good thing.
Speaker 1: You have.
Speaker 4: You've channeled your pain into advocacy and into this area
Speaker 4: which I did not realize was so prevalent, which is
Speaker 4: the use of methanol that when to basically make drinks stronger,
Speaker 4: stretch it out and underregulated.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it just makes it a little bit cheaper for them.
Speaker 3: Obviously, you can kind of make alcohol badly as well,
Speaker 3: and that can come up too, But I think in
Speaker 3: this situation it definitely all seem to be a case
Speaker 3: of organized crime, because Vang Vieg did have a bit
Speaker 3: of an association with organized crime anyway.
Speaker 4: So yes, yeah, I kind of see there's a ced
Speaker 4: underbilly in that town.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and it was a Vietnamese own hostel and the
Speaker 3: two people that were probably involved and fled to Vietnam,
Speaker 3: so I think they kind of knew what was going
Speaker 3: on and have moved on.
Speaker 4: And then, so as far as I understand the backpacker,
Speaker 4: the hostel Nana closed down for a period and then
Speaker 4: they've reopened.
Speaker 3: Well, they were trying to, and I've done my best
Speaker 3: efforts to try and sabotage that.
Speaker 1: So they were trying to open up in August.
Speaker 3: So I then obviously spoke to the BBC and various
Speaker 3: news outlets to make sure that they won't be doing that. Yeah,
Speaker 3: I think, I hope, hope that they're not going to open.
Speaker 4: Now, right, and at government level, what had been the
Speaker 4: ramifications in that area anything, Is it followed up? Has
Speaker 4: anyone been charged?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 4: Is anyone going to be held to account for Samone's death?
Speaker 3: Thirteen people were detained at the time, and then we
Speaker 3: found out through I think the Danish or Australian families
Speaker 3: that they were all released, and that was just before
Speaker 3: we went on This Morning, which is a British morning show,
Speaker 3: that was in February. So since then we found out
Speaker 3: that these thirteen people are going to be charged with
Speaker 3: various offenses, so things like elimination of evidence, which I
Speaker 3: can understand because I sent the police a picture of
Speaker 3: a load of bottles being discarded outside the hostel, literally
Speaker 3: like two hundred bottles, and somebody had sent me that
Speaker 3: and said, look, I picked up one of these bottles.
Speaker 1: It's clearly been washed out with washing up liquid.
Speaker 3: So they've obviously discarded of the evidence that they had,
Speaker 3: so they may not have found any methanol in the bottles.
Speaker 3: I don't know because we don't speak to the law
Speaker 3: authorities about stuff like that.
Speaker 4: But six people died m Yeah, and the six people
Speaker 4: who died had were they all involved, they'd all been
Speaker 4: staying at the backpackers or they'd all been to the
Speaker 4: happy hour at Nana's.
Speaker 1: Yeah, everyone stayed there.
Speaker 3: I think the difference with the man who died was
Speaker 3: that he was found in his room and I don't
Speaker 3: know that he went to the happy hour, and we're
Speaker 3: not sure the circumstances of his death, but everybody else
Speaker 3: definitely methanol poisoning related.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Then the Danish girls had a very very awful sort
Speaker 3: state of affairs going on with that because they were,
Speaker 3: you know, vomiting blood and it all just Yeah, and
Speaker 3: their parents didn't even get the right death certificate. I
Speaker 3: think the death certificate said heart failure. It was all
Speaker 3: just completely wrong, and they had to agree to that
Speaker 3: death certificate because otherwise they wouldn't have got their children's
Speaker 3: bodies back.
Speaker 1: So it's just.
Speaker 3: It's on another scale to what we had to deal with,
Speaker 3: really but I mean they didn't even find out that
Speaker 3: they died until a way later, I think the Saturday.
Speaker 3: So yeah, it's horrific. But yeah, these charges. Food and
Speaker 3: beverage safety was one of them, which it's not really
Speaker 3: it's not really the right thing. And working without a
Speaker 3: work permit was another one.
Speaker 1: I'm not really sure what that's about.
Speaker 4: Not charges specifically pertaining to the loss of life.
Speaker 3: No, and we were told it would be six years,
Speaker 3: we were told, or six or seven years for a
Speaker 3: mass poisoning. But it's proving that it was a mass poisoning,
Speaker 3: which shouldn't be difficult to do if for six people
Speaker 3: have died in place, But for some reason it's not
Speaker 3: enough evidence. So they obviously needed to have the methanol
Speaker 3: sort of in situ to be tested, but of s
Speaker 3: if it was all chucked away, then they haven't got
Speaker 3: that evidence. Yeah, it's infuriating because we can say for
Speaker 3: sure that is definitely where we drank. And they sent
Speaker 3: me a load of c's TV the hostel through a
Speaker 3: Facebook messenger. They sent me all the CSTV of us
Speaker 3: sitting there drinking in the hostel. Yet we're being told
Speaker 3: they're not going to be charged for that offense.
Speaker 4: It's just how was it when you saw that footage?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I really didn't like watching it back initially.
Speaker 3: It proves we were there, so it's good that they
Speaker 3: sent me it.
Speaker 4: What do you think Simone would say about what you're
Speaker 4: doing now, which is basically encouraging young travelers to drink
Speaker 4: safely overseas.
Speaker 1: I don't know, really. I think she'd be happy.
Speaker 3: I guess that I was taking my time to do this,
Speaker 3: but at the same time, I think she would have
Speaker 3: done it for me. So yeah, And I always kind
Speaker 3: of think, oh, bet she'd be doing more, but she'd
Speaker 3: be doing this, that or the other. So I always
Speaker 3: kind of worry that I'm not doing enough in some ways.
Speaker 3: But yeah, I've just tried to sort of take up
Speaker 3: all the interviews to do as much as I can
Speaker 3: really to try and get the message out there. But
Speaker 3: now it's really up to up to individual governments to
Speaker 3: make decisions, and that's why I set up a couple
Speaker 3: of different petitions. Got the petition in the UK trying
Speaker 3: to educate young people in schools, and I set up
Speaker 3: a separate petition just recently trying to get governments and
Speaker 3: airports to advertise, just like Australia do about the dangers
Speaker 3: of methanol poisoning. So I know you've got posters up
Speaker 3: on the back of toilet cubicle doors, and I think
Speaker 3: that's really what needs to be rolled out across the world.
Speaker 3: I can't see why it should be that hard to do,
Speaker 3: given that it's already happening.
Speaker 4: So Simone was the organizer, but you're the organizer now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I've had to be yeah without her.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and how would you like her to be remembered?
Speaker 1: Oh?
Speaker 3: I just for some reason, I hate this question because
Speaker 3: I feel like I never do her justice with whatever
Speaker 3: I say. But she was just a really strong, independent, intelligent, active,
Speaker 3: friendly you know, pretty much any positive adjective, you know,
Speaker 3: she was it. She was just the best sort of
Speaker 3: friend that I could have asked for. She listened to me,
Speaker 3: you know, any sort of rubbish came out of my mouth,
Speaker 3: she would put up with it. And yeah, she'd always
Speaker 3: give me good, good advice. And yeah, I will never
Speaker 3: have a friend like her again.
Speaker 1: That's a huge loss.
Speaker 4: How do you feel the shape of her that's missing
Speaker 4: from your life?
Speaker 1: You can't, I think, is the answer to that.
Speaker 3: You just can't but the way that my grief counselor
Speaker 3: explained it is that you sort of build up your
Speaker 3: life around the grief. So the grief sort of stays
Speaker 3: the same, but you build up your life around. So
Speaker 3: I guess doing this kind of work, advocacy work, campaigning,
Speaker 3: it's building stretching what I would normally be doing. So
Speaker 3: it's just a way for me to help the situation
Speaker 3: but also to process what's gone on.
Speaker 4: It's interesting because I think in the face of extreme
Speaker 4: loss and grief you kind of have two options, and
Speaker 4: you can crawl away from it or you can run
Speaker 4: towards it. And I have to thank you on behalf
Speaker 4: of the for really young travelers who will be benefited,
Speaker 4: possibly saved by the work that you're doing in this space.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I just hope people sort of sit up and
Speaker 3: listen and think more about what they're putting inside the bodies. Really,
Speaker 3: you know, I'm sure people still think, oh, this cocktail
Speaker 3: will be fine.
Speaker 1: You know, I've been here before. You just don't know.
Speaker 3: It's happening in so many different countries around the world,
Speaker 3: and there was recently I found out that the Vietnam
Speaker 3: are putting their tax on alcohol from sixty five ninety
Speaker 3: percent on spirits, so it's only going to start happening.
Speaker 4: More so, is your concrete advice to travelers only drink
Speaker 4: from sealed bottles? What form does the advice take?
Speaker 3: I think seal bottles is difficult because I know of
Speaker 3: the case Chesney Emmons, she bought some gin from a
Speaker 3: shop in Sumatra and she died. So there's a lot
Speaker 3: of counterfeit alcohol out there, especially places like Ballei. I
Speaker 3: won't be going back to Bali, so I can say that,
Speaker 3: but yeah, not just there, it would be in a
Speaker 3: lot of different places too, but it's just sort of
Speaker 3: knowing where, and you don't know where. Unless we're getting
Speaker 3: investigative journalists to go out to these places and buy alcohol,
Speaker 3: we're never going to know beer. Beer is safe. Yeah,
Speaker 3: so especially out of the can, Yeah, absolutely, or like
Speaker 3: pre mixed drinks out of a can.
Speaker 1: You know you can sort of get like not smurn
Speaker 1: off eyes.
Speaker 3: I think that comes in a bottle, but you know
Speaker 3: that kind of thing where you can see it's like
Speaker 3: a smirn Off, but it's come out of a can.
Speaker 3: Siders out of a can, anything like that should be
Speaker 3: safe because no one can really get anything else in there,
Speaker 3: So that is.
Speaker 1: Just really open bottles of spirit.
Speaker 3: That's particularly dangerous because anything could have been put in there,
Speaker 3: It could have been topped up with something counterfeit.
Speaker 1: And even wine.
Speaker 3: I think there was an issue with wine in the
Speaker 3: nineteen eighties somewhere in Europe where a lot of people
Speaker 3: died from that. So nothing's one hundred percent safe, but
Speaker 3: I think we can say that cans are relatively safe.
Speaker 2: Where will your next trip be.
Speaker 3: Back to the UK for Christmas? I've spent so you're
Speaker 3: in Brisbane now? Yeah, yeah, and I'll go And how
Speaker 3: is it December?
Speaker 2: How is it? Being away?
Speaker 3: In some ways good because I think there was just
Speaker 3: so many memories back in Orpington, which is where we're from.
Speaker 1: In London in general.
Speaker 3: You know, we lived in we lived together at one
Speaker 3: point in the Isle of Dogs, which is kind of
Speaker 3: near Greenwich, and you know, she had a flat over
Speaker 3: in Greenwich. You know, there's just so many memories in
Speaker 3: that part of the world. And so for me being
Speaker 3: over here, I mean, she did come here once, but
Speaker 3: at least it's much less than at home, and I've
Speaker 3: got that bit of space to kind of think about
Speaker 3: other things as well. It's just not good for you
Speaker 3: to be thinking about memories all the time. So I
Speaker 3: can choose to dip back into that when I want.
Speaker 3: We're at home, i'd have constant reminders.
Speaker 4: Yes, well, Bethany Clark, thank you so much for joining
Speaker 4: us on No Filter. Thank you for having me, and
Speaker 4: thank you for introducing us to your beautiful friends and mine.
Speaker 1: Thank you.
Speaker 4: Last night I couldn't sleep, and it was partly because
Speaker 4: I had to get up very early to do this
Speaker 4: interview with Bethany Clark, but it was also because of
Speaker 4: who she was that I knew that I was going
Speaker 4: to meet someone who had lost their best friend, and
Speaker 4: who had lost their best friend in the most extraordinary
Speaker 4: of circumstances, which was celebrating the joy of life. The
Speaker 4: conversation that I had with Bethany will stay with me
Speaker 4: for a long time. She could have chosen to stay quiet,
Speaker 4: she could have chosen to grieve privately. Instead, Bethany Clark
Speaker 4: is telling her story not just for her, not just
Speaker 4: for Simone, her girlfriend that she lost, but for every traveler.
Speaker 2: Who deserves to come home.
Speaker 4: Like I said, this is a conversation I will never forget,
Speaker 4: and I don't think you will either. The executive producer
Speaker 4: of No Filter is Brown and the senior producer is
Speaker 4: Bree Player. Audio production is by Jacob Brown and I
Speaker 4: am your host, Kate Langbrook.
Speaker 2: Thank you for listening to No Filter.