1 00:00:10,960 --> 00:00:14,040 Speaker 1: Said, you're listening to a mum and mea podcast. 2 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,720 Speaker 2: Mamma may I acknowledges the traditional owners of the land 3 00:00:17,840 --> 00:00:20,360 Speaker 2: and waters that this podcast is recorded on. 4 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 1: You know. In my podcast, I ask people, you know, 5 00:00:24,360 --> 00:00:26,920 Speaker 1: what are your biggest regrets? And some people have some 6 00:00:26,920 --> 00:00:29,080 Speaker 1: some people who don't have that many. But I think 7 00:00:29,120 --> 00:00:30,999 Speaker 1: I would have done it all the same again, even 8 00:00:31,000 --> 00:00:34,240 Speaker 1: the horrid stuff, even the pain that I've gone through, 9 00:00:34,320 --> 00:00:37,000 Speaker 1: even the mistakes I've made, I think I would have 10 00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:38,560 Speaker 1: done it all over again. 11 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:46,920 Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to But Are You Happy? The podcast 12 00:00:46,960 --> 00:00:49,960 Speaker 2: that asks the questions you've always wanted to know from 13 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:53,120 Speaker 2: the people who appear to have it all. I'm Claire Stevens, 14 00:00:53,360 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 2: and today's guest is tam And Sassock. She is an 15 00:00:56,800 --> 00:01:01,000 Speaker 2: actor known for playing characters like Danny Sutherland on Home 16 00:01:01,040 --> 00:01:02,720 Speaker 2: and Away, Danny, what are you doing? 17 00:01:02,960 --> 00:01:05,600 Speaker 1: Show, mister Fisher what we think of his showmnist attitude. 18 00:01:05,319 --> 00:01:07,399 Speaker 3: Colleen Carlton on The Young and the. 19 00:01:07,319 --> 00:01:10,279 Speaker 1: Restless, Well, she isn't fond of the really. 20 00:01:10,600 --> 00:01:13,560 Speaker 2: Hip and Jenna Marshall on Pretty Little Eyes, which I 21 00:01:13,600 --> 00:01:17,400 Speaker 2: was obsessed with. She also owns her own production company 22 00:01:17,520 --> 00:01:20,800 Speaker 2: with her husband called Charlie Baby Productions. She hosts a 23 00:01:20,839 --> 00:01:24,080 Speaker 2: podcast called The Shit Show with Tamon Cursock and is 24 00:01:24,119 --> 00:01:27,279 Speaker 2: a very very funny creator online. 25 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 3: When I was. 26 00:01:28,559 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 2: Growing up, Taman Cursock was everywhere in Australian media. She 27 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:35,479 Speaker 2: was on the cover of all the magazines. She was 28 00:01:35,520 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 2: on TV, she was at the logis. She had music 29 00:01:38,759 --> 00:01:41,600 Speaker 2: I listened to and film clips. I studied for fashion 30 00:01:41,679 --> 00:01:44,479 Speaker 2: and styling tips. She had a great fringe. I was 31 00:01:44,520 --> 00:01:47,440 Speaker 2: obsessed with her and if I could have chosen what 32 00:01:47,559 --> 00:01:49,919 Speaker 2: I wanted to look like as a teenager, I would 33 00:01:49,920 --> 00:01:53,720 Speaker 2: have just pointed to a photo of Taman Sursock. But 34 00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:58,840 Speaker 2: behind the scenes things weren't so glamorous. She had experienced 35 00:01:58,840 --> 00:02:02,960 Speaker 2: bullying in her early teenage years, which wreaked havoc on 36 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:06,359 Speaker 2: her self esteem, and then as her fame grew, she's 37 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:10,400 Speaker 2: spoken recently about how she developed an eating disorder. She 38 00:02:10,520 --> 00:02:13,840 Speaker 2: moved to Hollywood, and she lived through all the frustrations 39 00:02:13,920 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 2: that come with not having control over your work opportunities, 40 00:02:18,080 --> 00:02:21,480 Speaker 2: and now she's grappling with the parts of making art 41 00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:24,919 Speaker 2: that are really difficult, like the compromises you have to make, 42 00:02:25,320 --> 00:02:29,040 Speaker 2: the relentlessness of it, and how things like envy still 43 00:02:29,080 --> 00:02:34,880 Speaker 2: pop up Taman is so open and honest, and I 44 00:02:34,920 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 2: started by asking her about her childhood. 45 00:02:39,800 --> 00:02:43,320 Speaker 1: I actually think that the happiest part of my life 46 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:49,360 Speaker 1: was sort of before I became a teenager. We immigrated 47 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,160 Speaker 1: from South Africa when I was five years old, so 48 00:02:51,160 --> 00:02:53,800 Speaker 1: I was actually born in Johannesburg. I've actually only spent 49 00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: about fifteen of years of my life in Sydney, Australia, 50 00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:01,600 Speaker 1: but I'm still obviously Nausie and I have my Australian citizenship. 51 00:03:01,680 --> 00:03:04,880 Speaker 1: But the first part of my life I was in Johannesburg, 52 00:03:05,480 --> 00:03:08,919 Speaker 1: and we immigrated when I was five years old, and 53 00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: you know, we came at a time that was really 54 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:16,040 Speaker 1: a really difficult time in South Africa, and my parents 55 00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:21,040 Speaker 1: chose a better life for us. And what had happened 56 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: is that when we immigrated, you can't take any money 57 00:03:23,880 --> 00:03:26,280 Speaker 1: out of the country. So my parents, you know, had 58 00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,560 Speaker 1: like a nest egg that they had set up in 59 00:03:28,560 --> 00:03:32,080 Speaker 1: South Africa, and when we immigrated, we had to completely 60 00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 1: start again. And I really credit my parents' tenacity and 61 00:03:37,240 --> 00:03:41,600 Speaker 1: hustle and just keeping everything together and making it seem 62 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:44,040 Speaker 1: like this was fun that we had to start over, 63 00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:48,320 Speaker 1: rather than it was like this hard burden that we 64 00:03:48,360 --> 00:03:50,760 Speaker 1: had to carry, and I really didn't know in the 65 00:03:50,800 --> 00:03:53,680 Speaker 1: beginning how difficult it was for my parents to start 66 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 1: over because it was always it never felt like we 67 00:03:57,640 --> 00:04:01,040 Speaker 1: were going without in any way. My dad was very 68 00:04:01,080 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: adamant to put us into private schools and that was 69 00:04:04,080 --> 00:04:07,520 Speaker 1: where he spent his money, and we did go from 70 00:04:07,560 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 1: rental property to rental property like every couple of years. 71 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:14,320 Speaker 1: But I didn't know that that wasn't, you know, normal, 72 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:17,760 Speaker 1: and I loved it all. You know, I had a 73 00:04:17,920 --> 00:04:22,640 Speaker 1: very good childhood, Like I don't remember anything that was 74 00:04:22,680 --> 00:04:23,920 Speaker 1: really that negative. 75 00:04:24,680 --> 00:04:27,799 Speaker 2: What do you think was your you know, you say 76 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 2: that kind of before you became a teenager was a 77 00:04:31,200 --> 00:04:34,680 Speaker 2: really really happy time. What do you think changed? That's 78 00:04:34,720 --> 00:04:37,240 Speaker 2: often a period as especially women. I think as we 79 00:04:37,400 --> 00:04:41,520 Speaker 2: enter our teenage years, something changes, maybe an awareness of 80 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,240 Speaker 2: the world being a bit harder. What was that experience 81 00:04:45,400 --> 00:04:45,880 Speaker 2: like for you? 82 00:04:47,760 --> 00:04:52,640 Speaker 1: My I got bullied, So I was very happy until 83 00:04:52,800 --> 00:04:54,440 Speaker 1: I started to get to that point where there's like 84 00:04:54,880 --> 00:04:57,560 Speaker 1: pre pubescent and I was quite overweight. I was about 85 00:04:57,840 --> 00:05:02,320 Speaker 1: ninety killers and I was severely bullied as a kid 86 00:05:02,800 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 1: by my classmates. So when you at an old girls school, 87 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,279 Speaker 1: that's why I don't normal if I'll ever put my 88 00:05:08,320 --> 00:05:11,160 Speaker 1: kids in a just single sex school, because there is, 89 00:05:11,440 --> 00:05:14,880 Speaker 1: especially in young girls, there is that sort of pack mentality. 90 00:05:15,040 --> 00:05:18,719 Speaker 1: And I was bullied a lot, and especially because of 91 00:05:18,720 --> 00:05:21,600 Speaker 1: my size, and because of it, even though I was 92 00:05:21,680 --> 00:05:24,640 Speaker 1: really happy being that size, because of that, I decided 93 00:05:24,680 --> 00:05:28,600 Speaker 1: to lose weight in a healthy manner and it worked. 94 00:05:29,080 --> 00:05:32,640 Speaker 1: I lost gosh. I was went down to forty nine 95 00:05:32,760 --> 00:05:37,000 Speaker 1: kilos really fast, and it felt all of a sudden, 96 00:05:37,040 --> 00:05:39,680 Speaker 1: I started to get attention and all these you know, 97 00:05:39,720 --> 00:05:41,719 Speaker 1: people came out of the woodwork and were really nice 98 00:05:41,760 --> 00:05:46,400 Speaker 1: to me, and it felt really good. And then I 99 00:05:46,480 --> 00:05:50,640 Speaker 1: auditioned for Home and Away three to five months after 100 00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:53,320 Speaker 1: I'd lost the weight, and I got the job. So 101 00:05:53,480 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: there begins my struggle with self loathing and self worth 102 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: and you know, from a very young age, when my 103 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:07,360 Speaker 1: brain was at a fertile environment to like really take 104 00:06:07,400 --> 00:06:13,080 Speaker 1: on all this change in negativity. And I then didn't 105 00:06:13,280 --> 00:06:17,880 Speaker 1: know how to stay small without not eating. And I 106 00:06:17,880 --> 00:06:21,000 Speaker 1: think that was the part of my life that was 107 00:06:21,080 --> 00:06:25,480 Speaker 1: interestingly some of the best parts of my life, but 108 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:29,200 Speaker 1: also some of the hardest. And it took me a 109 00:06:29,280 --> 00:06:30,920 Speaker 1: very long time to be able to talk about it. 110 00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:33,360 Speaker 1: I had to be fully recovered. I think most of 111 00:06:33,360 --> 00:06:35,200 Speaker 1: the things that I talk about is because I've been 112 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:36,920 Speaker 1: able to come out on the other end. I don't 113 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:39,560 Speaker 1: know if I'm like in something, I just can't really 114 00:06:39,560 --> 00:06:44,040 Speaker 1: communicate it in a succinct manner. But I think that 115 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,880 Speaker 1: that was it. I don't think that my quote unquote 116 00:06:46,920 --> 00:06:53,240 Speaker 1: unhappiness came from anything other than getting successful at an 117 00:06:53,280 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 1: age where like, I didn't really like myself, but then 118 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:01,040 Speaker 1: I also had this dichotomy of the world really liking me, 119 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:03,160 Speaker 1: but I didn't really know who I was, and I'm 120 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:04,800 Speaker 1: still trying to figure that out, and like, oh my god, 121 00:07:04,840 --> 00:07:05,599 Speaker 1: who the fuck am I? 122 00:07:06,920 --> 00:07:12,280 Speaker 2: You were in that really rare position of well, I 123 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:15,880 Speaker 2: guess it's not completely rare. Where your body changed and 124 00:07:16,560 --> 00:07:19,200 Speaker 2: something happened, which was getting the role on Home and 125 00:07:19,240 --> 00:07:22,440 Speaker 2: Away that you've said that you kind of internalized the 126 00:07:22,480 --> 00:07:27,120 Speaker 2: belief that being thin meant being accepted and loved and adored. 127 00:07:27,200 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 2: Because that happened at the same time, how did that 128 00:07:33,200 --> 00:07:35,600 Speaker 2: manifest for you? Like, when you're on Home and Away, 129 00:07:35,680 --> 00:07:39,560 Speaker 2: you were on magazine covers, you were winning awards, you 130 00:07:39,600 --> 00:07:44,240 Speaker 2: were getting all this industry recognition. What did you feel 131 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 2: internally about yourself. 132 00:07:48,400 --> 00:07:55,800 Speaker 1: Oh that my worth was completely linked to the size 133 00:07:55,840 --> 00:07:58,880 Speaker 1: of my genes. I mean, how could it not have been? Right? 134 00:07:59,040 --> 00:08:02,920 Speaker 1: So the hero was this young kid who was bullied 135 00:08:02,960 --> 00:08:06,120 Speaker 1: because of their size. They lose the weight and again 136 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,400 Speaker 1: Home and Away doesn't know this, like they just saw 137 00:08:08,600 --> 00:08:10,560 Speaker 1: Rola came in and did a good job, and they 138 00:08:10,560 --> 00:08:13,480 Speaker 1: gave me the job. But I knew that the girl 139 00:08:13,560 --> 00:08:17,720 Speaker 1: before wasn't accepted, and the girl who looked a different 140 00:08:17,800 --> 00:08:21,080 Speaker 1: way now and presented herself in a different way to 141 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:25,360 Speaker 1: the world was now accepted. So my self worth was 142 00:08:25,440 --> 00:08:30,560 Speaker 1: dependent on my size. And also I lived through the nineties. 143 00:08:30,640 --> 00:08:33,319 Speaker 1: I can't. I don't even know a woman who's able 144 00:08:33,360 --> 00:08:36,800 Speaker 1: to come out of the nineties unscathed without some kind 145 00:08:36,840 --> 00:08:40,160 Speaker 1: of distorted eating. I mean, the magazine covers. Everything in 146 00:08:40,199 --> 00:08:43,160 Speaker 1: the media was you would feel better, you will love 147 00:08:43,160 --> 00:08:46,680 Speaker 1: yourself more, ten kilo's lighter. You know. Everything was about 148 00:08:46,720 --> 00:08:49,800 Speaker 1: like the next diet that would make you feel happier. 149 00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:57,040 Speaker 2: I remember with my adolescence, you were the most beautiful 150 00:08:57,240 --> 00:08:59,760 Speaker 2: girl in the world, like like like I looked at 151 00:08:59,800 --> 00:09:02,040 Speaker 2: magazine covers and I remember thinking, if I could draw 152 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:05,559 Speaker 2: how I wanted to look, it would be Tamansas, and 153 00:09:05,720 --> 00:09:08,720 Speaker 2: so I think it's actually really insightful to know that 154 00:09:08,760 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 2: the person that I was so admiring was suffering from 155 00:09:14,680 --> 00:09:17,480 Speaker 2: what I was suffering from, which was feeling like I 156 00:09:17,600 --> 00:09:22,840 Speaker 2: wasn't good enough. You have shared a story which I 157 00:09:22,840 --> 00:09:27,240 Speaker 2: remember reading years ago and being really moved by. Wait, 158 00:09:27,360 --> 00:09:30,880 Speaker 2: you talked about being a kid and a boy approaching 159 00:09:30,880 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 2: me and making a Jenny Craig joke. Yeah, can you 160 00:09:35,680 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 2: share that story and how you felt in that moment? 161 00:09:38,160 --> 00:09:40,840 Speaker 1: And I was at the knock School dance actually, and I. 162 00:09:40,760 --> 00:09:43,199 Speaker 3: Was I went to a knock school dance, I know. 163 00:09:44,720 --> 00:09:47,600 Speaker 1: And I remember I felt so cute, and my mom 164 00:09:47,720 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: was there supporting me, and she dropped me off and 165 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,680 Speaker 1: we like, you know, gotten their nails done and bought 166 00:09:53,680 --> 00:09:56,120 Speaker 1: the formal dress. And my brother actually went to the 167 00:09:56,160 --> 00:09:58,200 Speaker 1: same school, and there was a boy that I was 168 00:09:58,240 --> 00:10:01,680 Speaker 1: just super crushing on and he made eyes at me, 169 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,559 Speaker 1: and I just remember like the whole world began to 170 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:08,199 Speaker 1: decolor and I just everything was like in slow motion, 171 00:10:08,320 --> 00:10:11,160 Speaker 1: and I could see him walking towards and I thought, 172 00:10:11,720 --> 00:10:14,360 Speaker 1: this is it, Like this is the moment where you 173 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:18,960 Speaker 1: know the guy that I've been feverishly anticipating will one 174 00:10:19,040 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 1: day come up to me in my dreams. 175 00:10:21,040 --> 00:10:21,520 Speaker 3: This was it. 176 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:24,000 Speaker 1: This was the moment, and he walked up to me 177 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:27,199 Speaker 1: and he said, you need to go to Jenny Craig. 178 00:10:27,800 --> 00:10:30,640 Speaker 1: And I remember it so well because I don't even 179 00:10:30,760 --> 00:10:34,920 Speaker 1: know if in that moment I thought I'm broken, but 180 00:10:34,960 --> 00:10:37,120 Speaker 1: I almost want to. I don't even know who he 181 00:10:37,280 --> 00:10:39,360 Speaker 1: is these days, who he is, but I'd almost like 182 00:10:39,400 --> 00:10:42,160 Speaker 1: to thank him if he ever finds out about my 183 00:10:42,240 --> 00:10:46,160 Speaker 1: story and this so he probably doesn't remember, but that 184 00:10:46,960 --> 00:10:50,080 Speaker 1: comment changed the course of my life for the rest 185 00:10:50,200 --> 00:10:54,439 Speaker 1: of my life. Now, were there peaks and valleys? Absolutely? 186 00:10:55,360 --> 00:10:57,920 Speaker 1: Was my head in a toilet bowl for the better 187 00:10:57,960 --> 00:11:02,880 Speaker 1: part of four years. Absolutely, But something in that moment 188 00:11:03,200 --> 00:11:06,880 Speaker 1: made me want change. I thought it was healthy to 189 00:11:06,920 --> 00:11:09,520 Speaker 1: start with, and it was, and then it diverted into 190 00:11:09,560 --> 00:11:10,240 Speaker 1: not being healthy. 191 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:16,280 Speaker 2: When you got to Hollywood. Was the body image stuff exacerbated? 192 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:21,360 Speaker 2: Like is Hollywood just a completely different level in terms 193 00:11:21,360 --> 00:11:25,200 Speaker 2: of the self criticism comparing yourself to other people? 194 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,880 Speaker 1: Oh, the comparison I still struggle with on a daily basis, 195 00:11:28,920 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 1: to the point where I don't suffer depression, but it 196 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:35,079 Speaker 1: can get me in a depressive state if I spend 197 00:11:35,120 --> 00:11:38,360 Speaker 1: too much time looking through other people's social media. The 198 00:11:38,400 --> 00:11:40,560 Speaker 1: funny thing is that by the time I got to 199 00:11:40,640 --> 00:11:43,360 Speaker 1: Los Angeles, I had gotten through the worst of my 200 00:11:43,400 --> 00:11:46,959 Speaker 1: eating disorder. And I actually met my husband Sean, who 201 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:50,079 Speaker 1: have been with for eighteen years now, six months after 202 00:11:50,160 --> 00:11:53,640 Speaker 1: I got to America, and I had only I was 203 00:11:53,720 --> 00:11:56,559 Speaker 1: kind of on the edge of my eating disorder. And 204 00:11:57,560 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 1: I remember one time purging while we were together and 205 00:12:04,040 --> 00:12:07,880 Speaker 1: the look of like sadness in his eyes. I'll never 206 00:12:07,960 --> 00:12:11,480 Speaker 1: forget because he knew what I did and why I 207 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 1: did it, and I guess the self loathing I had 208 00:12:13,480 --> 00:12:15,920 Speaker 1: at that time, and I looked at him and I thought, 209 00:12:16,600 --> 00:12:19,640 Speaker 1: I don't ever want to feel like this again, Like 210 00:12:19,720 --> 00:12:22,520 Speaker 1: I don't ever want to feel sick again. I don't 211 00:12:22,520 --> 00:12:26,640 Speaker 1: ever want to feel like someone feels I feel shame 212 00:12:26,680 --> 00:12:30,800 Speaker 1: in front of but also feel sorry for me. And 213 00:12:30,920 --> 00:12:34,200 Speaker 1: in that moment, I just was like, that was it, 214 00:12:34,240 --> 00:12:36,520 Speaker 1: Like I never did it again. And that was the 215 00:12:36,600 --> 00:12:39,360 Speaker 1: beginning of getting to Los Angeles. And I realized also 216 00:12:39,480 --> 00:12:42,800 Speaker 1: about addiction is that you can try to help someone 217 00:12:42,800 --> 00:12:46,200 Speaker 1: through addiction as much as you can, but unless that 218 00:12:46,240 --> 00:12:49,720 Speaker 1: person hits their rock bottom and unless they fully want 219 00:12:49,760 --> 00:12:51,840 Speaker 1: to change, or there's a light bulb moment or an 220 00:12:51,880 --> 00:12:55,480 Speaker 1: epiphany that happens, nothing is going to change, And that 221 00:12:55,640 --> 00:12:59,320 Speaker 1: was my moment. I was twenty twenty three and I 222 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 1: never did it again. I didn't even get sick when 223 00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:05,240 Speaker 1: I was pregnant, so God was like, you're done. 224 00:13:05,600 --> 00:13:08,319 Speaker 3: You're done, No more sickness is for you, and enough 225 00:13:08,360 --> 00:13:08,720 Speaker 3: of that? 226 00:13:09,320 --> 00:13:13,520 Speaker 2: Did you find mind that the body image stuff came 227 00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:18,120 Speaker 2: up again through pregnancy and both partum, Like when when 228 00:13:18,160 --> 00:13:21,959 Speaker 2: you've been through that and you've had that experience in 229 00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:26,000 Speaker 2: your younger years and you've come through it, was that 230 00:13:26,080 --> 00:13:27,800 Speaker 2: a trigger for you going through that period. 231 00:13:28,440 --> 00:13:31,280 Speaker 1: I actually really loved being pregnant. I think women hate that. 232 00:13:31,360 --> 00:13:33,880 Speaker 1: I say this because I really loved. And I think 233 00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,360 Speaker 1: it's because my mental health. I struggle with anxiety and 234 00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,480 Speaker 1: generalized anxiety disorder, and I think that the hormones so 235 00:13:40,560 --> 00:13:44,280 Speaker 1: much progesteron made me really chill, so like I was 236 00:13:44,600 --> 00:13:46,880 Speaker 1: cruising through pregnancy like I never I was like, is 237 00:13:46,920 --> 00:13:48,880 Speaker 1: this what people feel like on a daily basis? I 238 00:13:48,920 --> 00:13:54,200 Speaker 1: felt very calm that being said, I yes, did I 239 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:57,480 Speaker 1: despise my body afterwards? Yes? Did it ever get back 240 00:13:57,520 --> 00:13:59,800 Speaker 1: to It's like some people bounce back whatever the f 241 00:13:59,960 --> 00:14:03,280 Speaker 1: that means I did not. I had two five kilo 242 00:14:03,360 --> 00:14:06,960 Speaker 1: babies ten pound babies. They cut them out. I have 243 00:14:07,080 --> 00:14:10,479 Speaker 1: stretch marks, I have loose skin. I might or mightn't 244 00:14:11,040 --> 00:14:13,320 Speaker 1: fix it one day. I have a tear in my 245 00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:16,520 Speaker 1: abdomen from my kids. I don't know. Maybe I will, 246 00:14:16,560 --> 00:14:20,880 Speaker 1: maybe I won't. But I don't think I've ever truly 247 00:14:20,920 --> 00:14:25,080 Speaker 1: loved my body. And I don't really know any woman 248 00:14:25,160 --> 00:14:29,040 Speaker 1: that has. I don't know anyone of my friendship group 249 00:14:29,360 --> 00:14:33,520 Speaker 1: that walks around loving their body. And I think it's 250 00:14:33,600 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 1: really sad because I know what happens to men too. 251 00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:38,800 Speaker 1: But the men in my life look in the mirror 252 00:14:38,800 --> 00:14:42,080 Speaker 1: and think they're hot stuff, which is wonderful. But I 253 00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,840 Speaker 1: don't think I love my body now. I don't think 254 00:14:44,880 --> 00:14:47,000 Speaker 1: I love my body. Then, I don't think I love 255 00:14:47,080 --> 00:14:50,400 Speaker 1: my body being pregnant, not being pregnant. So your question is, 256 00:14:50,440 --> 00:14:52,840 Speaker 1: did it trigger anything. I don't think I've ever really 257 00:14:52,880 --> 00:14:56,480 Speaker 1: been on the other side of loving my figure. I 258 00:14:56,480 --> 00:14:58,880 Speaker 1: mean there are moments of it, right, there's like sparks 259 00:14:59,360 --> 00:15:02,400 Speaker 1: and flex of like, oh, I think I look great today, 260 00:15:02,920 --> 00:15:05,120 Speaker 1: But I will say that the shit that I give 261 00:15:05,160 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: about my body is so meaningless now as I've gotten older, 262 00:15:09,240 --> 00:15:13,200 Speaker 1: I really just don't care. Do I care about my health, yes? 263 00:15:13,240 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 1: Do I care about being able to bend down to 264 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,360 Speaker 1: pick up my kids? Yes? Do I care about my body? Like, 265 00:15:18,440 --> 00:15:22,200 Speaker 1: I just really don't care. I've worked so much internally 266 00:15:22,240 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: that I just think there's so much more to focus 267 00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:28,440 Speaker 1: on that I kind of find it now boring. Yeah, 268 00:15:28,440 --> 00:15:31,080 Speaker 1: Like if I have a conversation with a friend who 269 00:15:31,160 --> 00:15:35,000 Speaker 1: starts just talking about body image, I really check out. 270 00:15:35,520 --> 00:15:36,280 Speaker 1: It just bores me. 271 00:15:37,280 --> 00:15:41,960 Speaker 2: You After Home and Away, you pursued a music career, 272 00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:45,560 Speaker 2: and I remember it so vividly. You had such bangers 273 00:15:45,600 --> 00:15:47,040 Speaker 2: as perfect relationships. 274 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:56,520 Speaker 3: She placed all that time and whatever will be. 275 00:15:56,520 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: Whatever will be will be, and then. 276 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:08,680 Speaker 3: The good, bad and. 277 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:11,080 Speaker 2: The whole Those film clips have on me, the fringe, 278 00:16:11,320 --> 00:16:16,120 Speaker 2: the fashion, they were absolutely everything. Did you choose to 279 00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:19,120 Speaker 2: move on from music or was it not giving you 280 00:16:19,600 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 2: what you wanted it to? 281 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 1: So I've been writing this last month, this part of 282 00:16:24,280 --> 00:16:27,000 Speaker 1: the chapter of my book, which was about the music 283 00:16:27,040 --> 00:16:30,920 Speaker 1: business and moving to London. I actually moved to London 284 00:16:31,280 --> 00:16:36,360 Speaker 1: after Australia for LA to release music, and the week 285 00:16:36,400 --> 00:16:38,640 Speaker 1: before my album was going to be released, I left 286 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:41,640 Speaker 1: on my own accord I was done. I guess I 287 00:16:41,640 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: should just say you have to read it all in 288 00:16:42,880 --> 00:16:46,680 Speaker 1: the book, because unfortunately, if I give little snippets of it, 289 00:16:46,680 --> 00:16:49,920 Speaker 1: it can come out wrong. But it wasn't exactly what 290 00:16:50,080 --> 00:16:54,400 Speaker 1: I thought it was going to be record labels, and 291 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:57,400 Speaker 1: I'm really I was really young. I'm not sure it 292 00:16:57,440 --> 00:17:00,920 Speaker 1: was completely what I wanted if it was handled the 293 00:17:00,960 --> 00:17:03,800 Speaker 1: way that I wanted it to be. There's just a 294 00:17:03,840 --> 00:17:05,959 Speaker 1: lot that goes on in the music business, and I 295 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:09,879 Speaker 1: think it's different now, but I will share all of it, 296 00:17:10,280 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 1: going to name names. It just didn't feel right, and 297 00:17:14,080 --> 00:17:18,399 Speaker 1: I am proud of myself at twenty two that I 298 00:17:18,480 --> 00:17:20,440 Speaker 1: knew I had to get out of it. It doesn't 299 00:17:20,440 --> 00:17:22,840 Speaker 1: mean I don't love music, and it doesn't mean I 300 00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,120 Speaker 1: haven't been writing music. It just means that I think 301 00:17:26,160 --> 00:17:30,160 Speaker 1: I just wasn't ready for it, and I was not 302 00:17:30,280 --> 00:17:32,800 Speaker 1: releasing the music that I really wanted to release. Although 303 00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:35,800 Speaker 1: I loved the songs, I was really really at that 304 00:17:35,880 --> 00:17:38,760 Speaker 1: time wanting to do more of a Dido, Natalie and 305 00:17:38,800 --> 00:17:42,520 Speaker 1: Brulia thing, and I just wasn't seen in that light, 306 00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:47,080 Speaker 1: which is okay. You have to also, you know, respect 307 00:17:47,080 --> 00:17:49,280 Speaker 1: the people who know the business more than you do 308 00:17:49,440 --> 00:17:52,720 Speaker 1: at twenty one. But music is still there. It's still 309 00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,280 Speaker 1: in my soul. And I'm writing actually funnily enough in 310 00:17:55,359 --> 00:17:59,240 Speaker 1: Nashville because it's the epicenter of music, and I think 311 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:02,680 Speaker 1: when the time is right, then I think music will 312 00:18:03,120 --> 00:18:07,040 Speaker 1: come along. Sorry to be so not that's fascinating, really 313 00:18:07,080 --> 00:18:12,280 Speaker 1: open about it, but yeah, I just it was an interesting, difficult, tough, 314 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,359 Speaker 1: exhilarating time. 315 00:18:16,480 --> 00:18:19,960 Speaker 2: After the break, I asked Hammond whether comparing herself to 316 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:26,640 Speaker 2: others was amplified when she moved to Hollywood. You seem 317 00:18:26,720 --> 00:18:32,240 Speaker 2: to have had a really strong sense of self awareness 318 00:18:32,359 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 2: or sense of what you wanted from a very young age. 319 00:18:35,520 --> 00:18:40,440 Speaker 2: Even you did Home and Away and then you pursued music, 320 00:18:40,640 --> 00:18:43,600 Speaker 2: and then you went to Hollywood. You were very It 321 00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:46,679 Speaker 2: seemed like you knew what you wanted and you weren't 322 00:18:46,720 --> 00:18:50,560 Speaker 2: afraid to make what were probably a series of quite 323 00:18:50,560 --> 00:18:53,119 Speaker 2: tough decisions. Like I can imagine you're on Home and Away, 324 00:18:53,440 --> 00:18:56,680 Speaker 2: Australia is obsessed with you. It's a risk to then 325 00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 2: go and try something new. Was that intimidating? Was it scary? 326 00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:05,359 Speaker 2: Did you after you weren't doing music anymore and you 327 00:19:05,400 --> 00:19:10,480 Speaker 2: went to Hollywood, did you kind of dwell in the 328 00:19:10,520 --> 00:19:12,840 Speaker 2: disappointment of it, or were you just excited for what 329 00:19:12,920 --> 00:19:13,359 Speaker 2: was next. 330 00:19:14,840 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 1: I think as I've gotten older, I don't really give 331 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,000 Speaker 1: myself props a lot, and that's what I'm working on 332 00:19:20,080 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 1: in therapy, like actually complimenting myself because I always say 333 00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:25,680 Speaker 1: the negative. But I think I have a really good 334 00:19:25,720 --> 00:19:28,280 Speaker 1: sense of what is right for me, Like I don't 335 00:19:28,280 --> 00:19:33,400 Speaker 1: have a plan B. This is it. There is no well, 336 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:38,120 Speaker 1: if acting doesn't work out, then I'll become a real 337 00:19:38,240 --> 00:19:40,640 Speaker 1: estate agent. Like there is no plan B. There's nothing 338 00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:44,240 Speaker 1: that I'm designed for. There's nothing I've studied more than acting. 339 00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,000 Speaker 1: There's nothing that I love more than it. I think 340 00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:49,960 Speaker 1: that I've been lucky enough that my content creation on 341 00:19:50,040 --> 00:19:52,920 Speaker 1: my social media has actually been my side job for 342 00:19:53,240 --> 00:19:55,800 Speaker 1: many years, and I'm so grateful to work with great brands. 343 00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,320 Speaker 1: But at the end of the day, it's still acting, right, 344 00:19:57,400 --> 00:20:00,600 Speaker 1: I'm still acting in these things for social media. So 345 00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:05,000 Speaker 1: I guess my basis has always been entertaining people. And 346 00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:08,639 Speaker 1: I think because there's no plan B, if it doesn't 347 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:12,720 Speaker 1: feel right in my gut, I'm there isn't really any dwelling. 348 00:20:12,840 --> 00:20:15,200 Speaker 1: Because I always say to my therapist, I just sometimes 349 00:20:15,280 --> 00:20:17,919 Speaker 1: I wafft between and She's like, but you always end 350 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:22,720 Speaker 1: up making the decision that feels right and you never 351 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:26,200 Speaker 1: regret it. You know. In my podcast, I ask people, 352 00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,040 Speaker 1: you know, what are your biggest regrets? And some people 353 00:20:29,080 --> 00:20:32,119 Speaker 1: have some and some people don't have that many. But 354 00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,720 Speaker 1: I think I would have done it all the same again, 355 00:20:35,040 --> 00:20:38,520 Speaker 1: even the hard stuff, even the pain that I've gone through, 356 00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,439 Speaker 1: even the mistakes I've made, I think I would have 357 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:44,000 Speaker 1: done it all over again. I mean there's some times 358 00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:46,639 Speaker 1: that I kick myself that I was so close to 359 00:20:46,760 --> 00:20:50,480 Speaker 1: like me Megan Fox are another girl for Transformers, and 360 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 1: me Kaylee Kuoko and two other girls for Big Bang Theory. 361 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:56,760 Speaker 1: I mean, those are the type of jobs that are 362 00:20:56,840 --> 00:21:01,160 Speaker 1: so life changing for many reasons that I think if 363 00:21:01,160 --> 00:21:04,200 Speaker 1: only I got those jobs, but then my children wouldn't exist. Yeah, 364 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:06,879 Speaker 1: you know, and my children are my family, is my 365 00:21:06,920 --> 00:21:10,919 Speaker 1: whole world. So would I give up Transformers for them? Absolutely? 366 00:21:11,040 --> 00:21:13,640 Speaker 1: I wouldn't even think about it. I kind of think 367 00:21:13,680 --> 00:21:16,760 Speaker 1: it all was meant to be. And the funny thing, 368 00:21:16,800 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 1: which is not your question, but they've come to terms 369 00:21:19,520 --> 00:21:21,320 Speaker 1: with this too, is I don't think I've even begun 370 00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:25,440 Speaker 1: I haven't even sorted. I haven't even scratched the surface 371 00:21:25,720 --> 00:21:27,360 Speaker 1: of what I want to do, what I think I'm 372 00:21:27,400 --> 00:21:28,320 Speaker 1: capable of doing. 373 00:21:28,480 --> 00:21:32,119 Speaker 2: It's interesting, though, that you think that about yourself, whereas 374 00:21:32,120 --> 00:21:38,360 Speaker 2: from the outside you are incredibly ambitious. You've taken big risks. 375 00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,960 Speaker 2: You made it in Australia, and then we're clearly like, 376 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,680 Speaker 2: well that's not enough. I'm going to make it in America. 377 00:21:44,200 --> 00:21:48,159 Speaker 2: And you went to Hollywood. You got roles on The 378 00:21:48,200 --> 00:21:51,240 Speaker 2: Young and the Wrestlers, Hannah Montana and my personal favorite 379 00:21:51,359 --> 00:21:55,800 Speaker 2: as Jenna on Pretty Little Liars. What were the differences 380 00:21:56,200 --> 00:21:59,399 Speaker 2: that you noticed working in the industry in Australia and 381 00:21:59,440 --> 00:22:02,719 Speaker 2: working in the industry in the US. Is it a 382 00:22:02,760 --> 00:22:04,160 Speaker 2: different culture. 383 00:22:04,800 --> 00:22:09,240 Speaker 1: Yeah. Australia will always have the you'll be right sort 384 00:22:09,280 --> 00:22:14,000 Speaker 1: of attitude. The nothing's that much of a drama, which 385 00:22:14,040 --> 00:22:17,439 Speaker 1: is great, you know, oh yeah, whatever you need. I 386 00:22:17,760 --> 00:22:23,360 Speaker 1: felt like filming in places like austro Australia and even 387 00:22:23,440 --> 00:22:26,400 Speaker 1: like the UK, it seemed more like a family dynamic. 388 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:29,000 Speaker 1: I mean again, I started when I was really young, 389 00:22:29,120 --> 00:22:31,000 Speaker 1: so I still wanted to make sure that I was, 390 00:22:31,280 --> 00:22:34,119 Speaker 1: you know, professional, and I didn't screw up. I had 391 00:22:34,120 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 1: a bit of a perfectionist issue when I was younger too, 392 00:22:37,840 --> 00:22:40,680 Speaker 1: and I didn't want to let anyone down. But going 393 00:22:40,720 --> 00:22:43,160 Speaker 1: back to neighbors recently, I was like, oh my goodness, 394 00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:47,480 Speaker 1: this is such an easier mentality than the States. And 395 00:22:47,520 --> 00:22:49,960 Speaker 1: we were talking about this before we started the podcast. 396 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,440 Speaker 1: There's so many great things about Australia and so many 397 00:22:53,440 --> 00:22:56,879 Speaker 1: great things about America too, and sometimes people can look 398 00:22:56,880 --> 00:22:58,520 Speaker 1: at America and go, well, why do you live there? 399 00:22:58,560 --> 00:23:01,800 Speaker 1: And for me, whether you like it or not, with 400 00:23:01,880 --> 00:23:05,200 Speaker 1: three hundred million people, it is the land of opportunity. 401 00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:09,320 Speaker 1: And the thing that I love about America, especially in 402 00:23:09,359 --> 00:23:15,080 Speaker 1: the film business, is if someone makes it, everyone around 403 00:23:15,200 --> 00:23:20,639 Speaker 1: them praises and gets excited for their success because it 404 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:24,440 Speaker 1: means that they ultimately have a chance at success too. 405 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:29,240 Speaker 1: And I love that support when it comes to you 406 00:23:29,280 --> 00:23:31,760 Speaker 1: could be anything here. You could be homeless one day 407 00:23:31,880 --> 00:23:34,320 Speaker 1: and make you know, millions of dollars the next, and 408 00:23:34,400 --> 00:23:38,520 Speaker 1: people actually really they praise that they like band together. 409 00:23:38,960 --> 00:23:42,359 Speaker 1: So on set, I felt like when someone did a 410 00:23:42,400 --> 00:23:45,560 Speaker 1: scene that was great, everyone sort of like cheered and 411 00:23:46,680 --> 00:23:51,600 Speaker 1: whistled and a lot of congratulations. I did feel though 412 00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:54,320 Speaker 1: that in some of the shows, and I'm not gonna say, specifically, 413 00:23:55,600 --> 00:23:58,639 Speaker 1: you work with people who have been given a lot 414 00:23:59,160 --> 00:24:01,600 Speaker 1: when you're in you know, the film business, a lot 415 00:24:01,600 --> 00:24:04,879 Speaker 1: of yes people, and so there was definitely egos that 416 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:09,480 Speaker 1: I had to sort of maneuver around that wasn't present 417 00:24:09,560 --> 00:24:13,760 Speaker 1: in Australia because everyone kind of is We're taught to like, 418 00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:17,400 Speaker 1: not make a fuss, right and don't think you're too big, 419 00:24:17,440 --> 00:24:20,560 Speaker 1: and don't speak too too loud, and in the States 420 00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:21,520 Speaker 1: it's just not like that. 421 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,920 Speaker 2: Up next, Taman talks about the times in her life 422 00:24:27,200 --> 00:24:31,160 Speaker 2: where her world appeared perfect and shiny, but beneath the surface, 423 00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:37,719 Speaker 2: she was really struggling. I have a theory that the 424 00:24:37,760 --> 00:24:41,440 Speaker 2: world lies to us a bit about happiness, and that 425 00:24:41,560 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 2: often the moments where we expect to be the happiest 426 00:24:45,200 --> 00:24:49,560 Speaker 2: or that look the shiniest from the outside, are actually not. Yeah, 427 00:24:49,960 --> 00:24:53,600 Speaker 2: do you have any examples of when you looked like 428 00:24:53,680 --> 00:24:56,280 Speaker 2: you were on top of the world, how to chase 429 00:24:56,400 --> 00:25:01,520 Speaker 2: something incredible? It looked super glamorous, but under the surface 430 00:25:01,760 --> 00:25:02,600 Speaker 2: it was very different. 431 00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:06,240 Speaker 1: I mean, I'm going to say a recent one that's 432 00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:09,600 Speaker 1: probably more relatable, because yes, of course there are times 433 00:25:09,600 --> 00:25:11,520 Speaker 1: at home and away that I was you know, when 434 00:25:11,520 --> 00:25:13,800 Speaker 1: I went to the logis. I remember I'd eaten like 435 00:25:14,520 --> 00:25:16,960 Speaker 1: half a packet of rice cakes that entire day, and 436 00:25:17,000 --> 00:25:18,879 Speaker 1: I felt like I was gonna pass out like things 437 00:25:18,920 --> 00:25:22,320 Speaker 1: like that. Of course magazine covers, Oh whatever will be 438 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:26,440 Speaker 1: the music video. I was really deep in my bulimia 439 00:25:26,520 --> 00:25:29,040 Speaker 1: stage when we show that in Shanghai, and I remember, 440 00:25:29,320 --> 00:25:33,200 Speaker 1: like even scenes, I can like tell that my eyes 441 00:25:33,240 --> 00:25:36,120 Speaker 1: were bloodshot, and just lots of that sort of thing. 442 00:25:36,200 --> 00:25:39,600 Speaker 1: But recently we went to Italy and it. 443 00:25:39,760 --> 00:25:42,320 Speaker 3: Was awful wow. 444 00:25:42,440 --> 00:25:45,000 Speaker 1: And I actually posted about how awful it was on 445 00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:47,280 Speaker 1: my feed because I was like, I'm not going to 446 00:25:47,359 --> 00:25:51,199 Speaker 1: see another freakin' feed of someone in Europe saying, oh 447 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:53,600 Speaker 1: my god, I'm there with my kids and it's so great. 448 00:25:53,640 --> 00:25:57,040 Speaker 1: I'm like bull shit. Firstly, the reason it was so 449 00:25:57,160 --> 00:25:59,359 Speaker 1: awful is I had just finished a movie. We were 450 00:25:59,359 --> 00:26:01,320 Speaker 1: actually supposed to go in the early part of summer, 451 00:26:01,640 --> 00:26:03,520 Speaker 1: so it wasn't gonna be as crowded, it wasn't gonna 452 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:05,960 Speaker 1: be as hot. But then, luckily enough, I booked a 453 00:26:06,000 --> 00:26:10,280 Speaker 1: movie and I was shooting just near Boston in Mystic, Connecticut, 454 00:26:10,640 --> 00:26:12,960 Speaker 1: and I was shooting for a month, and so we're like, well, 455 00:26:13,040 --> 00:26:16,080 Speaker 1: I hadn't been to Italy for years and years and years. 456 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,080 Speaker 1: It's my favorite spot, one of my favorite spots. I 457 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,520 Speaker 1: got married in Italy and my eldest had been there 458 00:26:21,520 --> 00:26:23,640 Speaker 1: when she was very young, didn't remember. My youngest who's five, 459 00:26:23,720 --> 00:26:25,919 Speaker 1: hadn't been there, so it was a good travel. Ages 460 00:26:25,960 --> 00:26:28,480 Speaker 1: ten and five, I was like, we're gonna go to Italy. 461 00:26:28,600 --> 00:26:30,639 Speaker 1: We almost didn't have our passports because we had to 462 00:26:30,640 --> 00:26:33,680 Speaker 1: renew the kids passports. But you can't actually renew them. 463 00:26:33,680 --> 00:26:35,600 Speaker 1: You have to get a new one every time, like 464 00:26:35,680 --> 00:26:37,439 Speaker 1: after every five years, you have to get a new one. 465 00:26:37,480 --> 00:26:38,280 Speaker 1: So that was the whole thing. 466 00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:39,960 Speaker 3: Becaus in the photo their bloody babies. 467 00:26:40,440 --> 00:26:41,960 Speaker 1: Yeah, no one told me that. They go, oh, it's 468 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: just a renewals. We're like, great, that'll take a week, 469 00:26:44,120 --> 00:26:46,720 Speaker 1: but it's like six weeks. So we had to pay 470 00:26:46,880 --> 00:26:49,679 Speaker 1: a ridiculous, disgusting amount of money to try to get 471 00:26:49,680 --> 00:26:52,359 Speaker 1: them expedited by the government. Then they got lost in 472 00:26:52,400 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 1: the post. Anyway, the day before we left, we got 473 00:26:54,600 --> 00:26:57,359 Speaker 1: the passports and I remember going like, this is gonna 474 00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,879 Speaker 1: be the best, This is gonna be the best trip. 475 00:26:59,960 --> 00:27:02,600 Speaker 1: I've always wanted to go to Italy. The minute we landed, 476 00:27:02,720 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: it was like forty three degrees Celsius. We had neck 477 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,680 Speaker 1: fans on, we had ice packs. Of course, I'm like, 478 00:27:09,920 --> 00:27:11,879 Speaker 1: we have to see the call, see him. We have 479 00:27:12,000 --> 00:27:14,639 Speaker 1: to go see the Duomo, we have to go see 480 00:27:14,840 --> 00:27:19,159 Speaker 1: the Cistine Chapel. My family like hated me. My husband 481 00:27:19,200 --> 00:27:22,879 Speaker 1: and I fought the entire time. I called our therapist 482 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:25,119 Speaker 1: and I was like, we need an emergency session. And 483 00:27:25,160 --> 00:27:28,400 Speaker 1: I called her. I'm like, I can't stand him right now. 484 00:27:28,560 --> 00:27:31,520 Speaker 1: I remember driving. We had to drive from Venice so 485 00:27:31,680 --> 00:27:33,960 Speaker 1: like another place that was six hours awak. We fought 486 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: the entire journey. I don't even know about what. It 487 00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,399 Speaker 1: wasn't even about some bigger picture thing about our lives 488 00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,719 Speaker 1: or how we raise our children or what we believe. 489 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,320 Speaker 1: It was none of that. It was something ridiculous about 490 00:27:45,760 --> 00:27:48,360 Speaker 1: him being moody and me saying he ruined the trip, 491 00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:49,960 Speaker 1: and he's like, but it's really hot, and I'm like, 492 00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:53,240 Speaker 1: suck it up. Honestly, I remember this moment. I remember 493 00:27:53,240 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: this for the rest of my life. When we got 494 00:27:54,840 --> 00:27:58,159 Speaker 1: on that plane going from Italy back to America, I 495 00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,600 Speaker 1: looked at him and it was the first time I 496 00:28:00,640 --> 00:28:04,280 Speaker 1: saw him smile in two and a half weeks. He 497 00:28:04,320 --> 00:28:07,119 Speaker 1: looked at me, and he had this grin, this grin 498 00:28:07,200 --> 00:28:11,160 Speaker 1: that I was waiting to see every day for two 499 00:28:11,200 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 1: weeks in Italy. I thought he was gonna like pick 500 00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:16,240 Speaker 1: me up and it was gonna be this beautiful we 501 00:28:17,080 --> 00:28:19,359 Speaker 1: experience of our wedding and he was gonna feed me 502 00:28:19,480 --> 00:28:22,800 Speaker 1: pasta and gelato. No, he bitched the entire drip. I 503 00:28:22,960 --> 00:28:26,680 Speaker 1: bached him for bitching. The kids bitched because we were bitching. 504 00:28:27,240 --> 00:28:30,399 Speaker 1: It was just awful. We spent so much money on 505 00:28:30,440 --> 00:28:32,639 Speaker 1: it that I can't get back, and we should have 506 00:28:32,720 --> 00:28:34,840 Speaker 1: just done it. We should have parked ourselves after the 507 00:28:34,840 --> 00:28:37,560 Speaker 1: movie we were all exhausted. Yeah, parked ourselves in like 508 00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:41,280 Speaker 1: a kid's all inclusive place for five days where we 509 00:28:41,360 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: just got to lay down and the kids went to 510 00:28:42,800 --> 00:28:44,640 Speaker 1: kids club. And that would have been a way better vacation. 511 00:28:45,040 --> 00:28:48,800 Speaker 1: And to be honest, like, I'm really careful about waste, 512 00:28:48,840 --> 00:28:51,920 Speaker 1: and we don't go on vacations a lot. We are 513 00:28:51,960 --> 00:28:55,720 Speaker 1: normally working or saving for our future. We're not that 514 00:28:56,040 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: couple that goes on a European vacation. So it was 515 00:28:59,120 --> 00:29:03,160 Speaker 1: like really disappointing too, because my expectations, which is the 516 00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:06,360 Speaker 1: only way to happiness, is to recalibrate your expectations and 517 00:29:06,560 --> 00:29:09,400 Speaker 1: control your reactivity. But my expectations was everyone's gonna have 518 00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: a blast, and no one. 519 00:29:11,720 --> 00:29:15,600 Speaker 2: I think travel is so one of those times where 520 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:19,200 Speaker 2: I think because it's also been flattened, like we absorb 521 00:29:19,280 --> 00:29:22,360 Speaker 2: it through TikTok and Instagram and you see these perfect 522 00:29:22,400 --> 00:29:24,240 Speaker 2: photos and you just imagine that it's going to be 523 00:29:24,320 --> 00:29:28,600 Speaker 2: the perfect temperature, you're gonna look stunning every day, professional hair, 524 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:32,240 Speaker 2: professional makeup, and with kids, you think, oh, obviously kids 525 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:34,560 Speaker 2: are going to behave themselves and they're going to absolutely 526 00:29:34,640 --> 00:29:38,440 Speaker 2: love it because they're in Europe. And then there's the 527 00:29:38,560 --> 00:29:43,680 Speaker 2: compounding guilt of being somewhere spending I had a trip 528 00:29:43,760 --> 00:29:45,760 Speaker 2: I went to Fiji and had the same experience. 529 00:29:45,880 --> 00:29:46,680 Speaker 3: We were on an island. 530 00:29:46,680 --> 00:29:50,000 Speaker 2: It was so expensive everything there and every day I 531 00:29:50,040 --> 00:29:54,480 Speaker 2: just felt sick. And it really compounds the sadness of 532 00:29:54,520 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 2: it because it's the idea that you should be feeling 533 00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 2: so so so happy. I reckon so many people have 534 00:30:01,360 --> 00:30:03,520 Speaker 2: had that exact experience with a holiday. 535 00:30:04,240 --> 00:30:06,920 Speaker 1: I really think it's ow judy, as just humans on 536 00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: this planet, to be honest on social media about the 537 00:30:09,720 --> 00:30:12,600 Speaker 1: reality of what it's like. The reason I started becoming 538 00:30:12,640 --> 00:30:16,360 Speaker 1: so honest was because I didn't see anyone else talking 539 00:30:16,520 --> 00:30:21,880 Speaker 1: about the mental, physical, emotional load that parenting had on 540 00:30:22,080 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: like a woman. And you know, obviously it has a 541 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,080 Speaker 1: own father too, but like really on a mother. And 542 00:30:27,120 --> 00:30:28,840 Speaker 1: I also live in a country where there is no 543 00:30:29,360 --> 00:30:31,840 Speaker 1: there is no paid medical We are the only first 544 00:30:31,880 --> 00:30:35,920 Speaker 1: world country that has no paid materially nothing zero, yeah, nothing, 545 00:30:36,080 --> 00:30:38,640 Speaker 1: And there's no programs, there's nothing. There's no help with breastfitting. 546 00:30:38,720 --> 00:30:41,160 Speaker 1: They send you home with a blanket and they're like, 547 00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,040 Speaker 1: good luck to you, and you don't know what you're doing. 548 00:30:44,160 --> 00:30:47,080 Speaker 1: Like I thought, well, I have to now talk about 549 00:30:47,080 --> 00:30:49,360 Speaker 1: this on my social media because I felt so alone 550 00:30:49,400 --> 00:30:52,800 Speaker 1: in motherhood and so isolated that I thought, well, at 551 00:30:52,880 --> 00:30:55,080 Speaker 1: least if I can help one person feel less alone 552 00:30:55,080 --> 00:30:57,320 Speaker 1: in their journey, then I've like done something. 553 00:30:58,320 --> 00:31:03,360 Speaker 2: Your social media content is incredible. It is so funny. 554 00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:07,800 Speaker 2: I just honestly, I can scroll through for so long 555 00:31:07,880 --> 00:31:10,880 Speaker 2: and just laugh out loud at your videos because I 556 00:31:10,920 --> 00:31:15,720 Speaker 2: know that being a woman on social media, you've clearly 557 00:31:15,800 --> 00:31:19,800 Speaker 2: found an audience who thinks it's absolutely hilarious and who 558 00:31:19,920 --> 00:31:23,640 Speaker 2: really really relates to what you're sharing. Has your relationship 559 00:31:23,640 --> 00:31:27,360 Speaker 2: with social media ever become toxic. Have you ever had 560 00:31:28,120 --> 00:31:33,800 Speaker 2: issues with getting comments that upset you or getting feedback 561 00:31:33,840 --> 00:31:36,600 Speaker 2: from people that feels really personal. Has it ever been 562 00:31:36,640 --> 00:31:40,280 Speaker 2: something that actually really compromises your happiness. 563 00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:43,800 Speaker 1: I've been really blessed that I do get a few comments, 564 00:31:43,840 --> 00:31:47,360 Speaker 1: but I really don't until they go really viral. I've 565 00:31:47,360 --> 00:31:49,000 Speaker 1: had a few that have gone to like fifty million, 566 00:31:49,040 --> 00:31:52,400 Speaker 1: and when that happens, you don't know. It's like throwing 567 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 1: a stone into I don't know what I'm going to get, Like, 568 00:31:54,960 --> 00:31:58,440 Speaker 1: I don't know what's under that water, and all my goodness, 569 00:31:58,600 --> 00:32:00,600 Speaker 1: when they go really viral, I don't even open them. 570 00:32:00,800 --> 00:32:02,120 Speaker 1: I really don't. I don't spend a lot of time 571 00:32:02,120 --> 00:32:04,120 Speaker 1: in my comment section. I do spend a lot of 572 00:32:04,160 --> 00:32:05,960 Speaker 1: time on my dms because I like to have like 573 00:32:05,960 --> 00:32:08,280 Speaker 1: a relationship with people who are on my feed and 574 00:32:08,320 --> 00:32:12,560 Speaker 1: like they so many wonderful hips and advice and gosh, 575 00:32:12,600 --> 00:32:16,760 Speaker 1: I've learnt so much from my followers too. I will 576 00:32:16,800 --> 00:32:19,680 Speaker 1: say that what is taken away from my happiness is 577 00:32:20,080 --> 00:32:23,080 Speaker 1: it's really hard when creativity has to also be what 578 00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:26,400 Speaker 1: feeds you. And that is the biggest issue that I 579 00:32:26,440 --> 00:32:31,680 Speaker 1: have with my creativity in general, whether it's social media, acting, podcasting, 580 00:32:31,720 --> 00:32:35,760 Speaker 1: whatever is that. Mine and my husband's jobs are in 581 00:32:35,800 --> 00:32:39,240 Speaker 1: the creative field and they are what pays for our house. 582 00:32:39,440 --> 00:32:44,040 Speaker 1: I'll travel our kids' schools. And it's really hard sometimes 583 00:32:44,040 --> 00:32:47,280 Speaker 1: to be creative when financial gain is attached to that, 584 00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:51,040 Speaker 1: because sometimes you lose sight of like what really is 585 00:32:51,040 --> 00:32:53,600 Speaker 1: your purpose and your soul of why you're doing something 586 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 1: because you need the views, you need the people to 587 00:32:57,200 --> 00:33:00,520 Speaker 1: watch your movie, you need people to listen to your podcast, 588 00:33:00,560 --> 00:33:03,760 Speaker 1: because it becomes it's called the film business. It's not 589 00:33:03,800 --> 00:33:07,040 Speaker 1: the film fun. It's a business when you go down 590 00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:09,080 Speaker 1: the street as a billboard because it pays for the street. 591 00:33:09,120 --> 00:33:11,000 Speaker 1: When you listen to a podcast, it's an ad because 592 00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,280 Speaker 1: it peays for that podcast. So that's my biggest thing. 593 00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:15,920 Speaker 1: When your question was has it taken away my happiness? 594 00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:19,360 Speaker 1: It's taken away my happiness at times. 595 00:33:18,960 --> 00:33:24,000 Speaker 2: Because it has to do well, we don't pay the mortgage, right, Yeah, 596 00:33:24,360 --> 00:33:28,680 Speaker 2: So that's I think what's difficult about art? And do 597 00:33:28,720 --> 00:33:35,080 Speaker 2: you find that on social media you compare like the 598 00:33:35,160 --> 00:33:39,880 Speaker 2: way that you use it. Do you find yourself comparing 599 00:33:39,960 --> 00:33:44,800 Speaker 2: yourself to other people? Do you find yourself jealous or envious? 600 00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:49,760 Speaker 2: Every day and living in America and it being that 601 00:33:50,960 --> 00:33:54,120 Speaker 2: three hundred million people, it's just a bigger world. It's 602 00:33:54,120 --> 00:33:56,520 Speaker 2: a bigger pond and there are a really big fish. 603 00:33:57,280 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 2: Is jealousy something that you often contend with? 604 00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:04,520 Speaker 1: So I learned this recently. Jealousy and envy are different. 605 00:34:05,440 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: And jealousy is more when you want more to be them, 606 00:34:12,480 --> 00:34:15,680 Speaker 1: like you're jealous of who they are, what they have, 607 00:34:15,960 --> 00:34:18,319 Speaker 1: the person that they are. And I think envy is 608 00:34:18,399 --> 00:34:23,359 Speaker 1: when you look on the outside and there's something about 609 00:34:23,439 --> 00:34:26,319 Speaker 1: what they have that you would like in your own life. 610 00:34:26,759 --> 00:34:29,239 Speaker 1: So I like my life and I would like more 611 00:34:29,239 --> 00:34:32,279 Speaker 1: of this, please. That's envy, And jealousy is like what 612 00:34:32,439 --> 00:34:34,359 Speaker 1: you really want who they are? 613 00:34:34,799 --> 00:34:35,520 Speaker 3: Yeah right? 614 00:34:35,640 --> 00:34:39,319 Speaker 1: And I don't ever look at people on social media 615 00:34:39,359 --> 00:34:40,999 Speaker 1: and go, oh, I wish I had their life because 616 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:44,199 Speaker 1: I actually am, for the most part, happy with my life. 617 00:34:44,200 --> 00:34:47,039 Speaker 1: There's some things I'd like to change, but I do 618 00:34:47,080 --> 00:34:50,319 Speaker 1: get envious a lot. I get very envious because sometimes 619 00:34:50,359 --> 00:34:54,359 Speaker 1: I don't feel like it's fair. I feel, you know, 620 00:34:54,399 --> 00:34:57,479 Speaker 1: whether people know me like me or not. I have 621 00:34:57,600 --> 00:35:00,079 Speaker 1: worked my ass off since I was fifteen years old. 622 00:35:00,680 --> 00:35:02,319 Speaker 1: My husband I go to bed at one, we wake 623 00:35:02,399 --> 00:35:03,799 Speaker 1: up at five point thirty. We go to bed at 624 00:35:03,799 --> 00:35:07,319 Speaker 1: one because we're constantly creating or trying to create for 625 00:35:08,040 --> 00:35:12,400 Speaker 1: our production company or podcast or coming up with content 626 00:35:12,479 --> 00:35:14,999 Speaker 1: creation idea. Like, we don't stop. We've never stopped. We 627 00:35:15,040 --> 00:35:18,639 Speaker 1: don't really have the luxury to just have time off. 628 00:35:18,640 --> 00:35:21,319 Speaker 1: We don't have date nights. We're all in. And I 629 00:35:21,359 --> 00:35:24,680 Speaker 1: get envious sometimes when I feel like someone has become 630 00:35:24,759 --> 00:35:29,680 Speaker 1: really successful and it's seemingly which is probably not true, 631 00:35:30,080 --> 00:35:33,680 Speaker 1: seemingly happened overnight. Yeah, again, is never true, right because 632 00:35:33,719 --> 00:35:36,719 Speaker 1: you don't see all the hard work that goes underneath it. 633 00:35:37,200 --> 00:35:40,960 Speaker 1: But I do get envious sometimes for sure. And I compare. 634 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:43,439 Speaker 1: Oh my goodness, I compare so much that I have 635 00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,719 Speaker 1: to really check myself and know that that's something that 636 00:35:46,759 --> 00:35:47,239 Speaker 1: I'm doing. 637 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:47,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. 638 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:53,039 Speaker 2: I can't imagine being an actor where your livelihood is 639 00:35:53,160 --> 00:35:55,999 Speaker 2: so much determined by other people's decisions. 640 00:35:56,080 --> 00:35:56,839 Speaker 1: Oh my gosh. 641 00:35:56,879 --> 00:36:00,640 Speaker 2: And I can completely see that there would be parts 642 00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:02,799 Speaker 2: of that that would not be fair. There would be 643 00:36:02,839 --> 00:36:06,399 Speaker 2: all thoughts of like certain connections that people have or 644 00:36:06,439 --> 00:36:10,160 Speaker 2: personal relationships or you know, things totally beyond your control 645 00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:14,879 Speaker 2: that would lead to getting or not getting opportunities. Is 646 00:36:14,959 --> 00:36:17,039 Speaker 2: that something you've struggled with in the past, like when 647 00:36:17,080 --> 00:36:19,600 Speaker 2: you talk about you know, Big Bang theory and saying 648 00:36:19,719 --> 00:36:24,079 Speaker 2: Kaylee kloko, get that role. How do you wrestle with that? 649 00:36:24,359 --> 00:36:27,200 Speaker 2: Does it feel like failure? Like what does it feel 650 00:36:27,239 --> 00:36:28,799 Speaker 2: like to miss out on something like that? 651 00:36:29,359 --> 00:36:32,080 Speaker 1: It just depends on the day and the time period 652 00:36:32,120 --> 00:36:35,200 Speaker 1: of my life. I think the things that I'm good 653 00:36:35,200 --> 00:36:37,719 Speaker 1: at is moving on fast. I've always been very good 654 00:36:37,759 --> 00:36:40,400 Speaker 1: at moving through it very fast. I don't linger on anything. 655 00:36:40,439 --> 00:36:44,360 Speaker 1: I mean, some hurt more than others, but I feel 656 00:36:44,359 --> 00:36:46,919 Speaker 1: like a failure on a daily basis, but then also 657 00:36:47,479 --> 00:36:49,359 Speaker 1: not a failure on a daily basis. So it's a 658 00:36:49,359 --> 00:36:53,959 Speaker 1: hard question because it's like, what is the authentic me? 659 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,120 Speaker 1: The authentic me knows that I've just started and I 660 00:36:58,160 --> 00:36:59,559 Speaker 1: am going to get where I want to get to 661 00:36:59,640 --> 00:37:02,120 Speaker 1: because there's no other plan. B, there's no other choice. 662 00:37:02,799 --> 00:37:06,719 Speaker 1: And the monkey brain and the catastrophized thinking and the 663 00:37:06,719 --> 00:37:09,600 Speaker 1: black and white thinking holds on to that little girl 664 00:37:09,640 --> 00:37:11,799 Speaker 1: who was tea who's like, yeah, you are a loser. 665 00:37:12,520 --> 00:37:15,719 Speaker 1: So I beat myself up a lot, but then I 666 00:37:15,759 --> 00:37:17,919 Speaker 1: also come out of it. So I do think that 667 00:37:18,399 --> 00:37:22,640 Speaker 1: I have developed, like it or not, a resilience that 668 00:37:23,560 --> 00:37:28,040 Speaker 1: might be stronger than the average resilience because I've probably 669 00:37:28,080 --> 00:37:31,640 Speaker 1: been rejected thousands and thousands of times. I don't know 670 00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,680 Speaker 1: someone who would go, Okay, let's go back into that again. Yeah, 671 00:37:34,719 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 1: let's get rejected one more time. Yeah. 672 00:37:36,239 --> 00:37:37,919 Speaker 3: And a lot of people, a lot of people can't 673 00:37:37,919 --> 00:37:39,080 Speaker 3: do it. A lot of people give. 674 00:37:39,000 --> 00:37:41,319 Speaker 1: Up to give up. And I do believe, and this 675 00:37:41,359 --> 00:37:45,439 Speaker 1: isn't my husband, I say, I do believe that success 676 00:37:45,479 --> 00:37:49,080 Speaker 1: in this business is about the last person standing. I 677 00:37:49,160 --> 00:37:53,040 Speaker 1: really do. I think at some point it's whoever's willing 678 00:37:53,279 --> 00:37:54,640 Speaker 1: to stay in the storm. 679 00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:58,119 Speaker 2: And then that's about character, That is about kind of 680 00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,279 Speaker 2: who you are intrinsically rather than any. 681 00:38:01,160 --> 00:38:01,759 Speaker 3: Of the bullshit. 682 00:38:02,040 --> 00:38:07,759 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's who's determined enough to stand there and keep trying. 683 00:38:08,359 --> 00:38:12,480 Speaker 2: When you think about growing up, looking back at your life, 684 00:38:12,959 --> 00:38:17,200 Speaker 2: what is it that you think will have been what 685 00:38:17,359 --> 00:38:21,160 Speaker 2: made you happy? Like when you really zoom out, what 686 00:38:21,359 --> 00:38:24,799 Speaker 2: is it that you're going to focus on or that's 687 00:38:24,839 --> 00:38:26,680 Speaker 2: going to be the thing on your deathbed that you're like, 688 00:38:26,799 --> 00:38:29,600 Speaker 2: that is what gave me meaning and joy? 689 00:38:30,120 --> 00:38:32,599 Speaker 1: Oh, it's not even a question. And I'm sure most 690 00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:35,680 Speaker 1: people say this, so maybe they don't, But like my family, 691 00:38:35,680 --> 00:38:37,719 Speaker 1: there's not even a question, like I'm not going to 692 00:38:37,839 --> 00:38:41,480 Speaker 1: sit and say like, oh, I wish I won that Emmy. 693 00:38:41,600 --> 00:38:45,680 Speaker 1: You know, although my work has given me such intense 694 00:38:45,759 --> 00:38:52,599 Speaker 1: pleasure and incredible moments of finding out who I am 695 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:56,559 Speaker 1: through characters that I've played, Like, I love what I 696 00:38:56,640 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 1: do and I find so much joy in it, and 697 00:39:00,799 --> 00:39:04,559 Speaker 1: I think parenting is harder than me an actor. But 698 00:39:04,600 --> 00:39:08,399 Speaker 1: there's something so undeniable about like the moments that you 699 00:39:08,479 --> 00:39:13,200 Speaker 1: have with your children that are perfect that Again I say, 700 00:39:13,239 --> 00:39:16,919 Speaker 1: I'm not that religious, but I'm like that, right, there 701 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,839 Speaker 1: is proof that there's a God. When I have that 702 00:39:19,959 --> 00:39:23,759 Speaker 1: those moments, I'm like, oh, I'm not afraid of what 703 00:39:23,919 --> 00:39:28,239 Speaker 1: happens next because I just witnessed something that was unexplainable. 704 00:39:29,160 --> 00:39:31,519 Speaker 1: And I don't have that with acting. I have a 705 00:39:31,560 --> 00:39:34,279 Speaker 1: sense of flow, which is this beautiful thing that comes 706 00:39:34,319 --> 00:39:36,359 Speaker 1: over me. And I had it with writing today. And 707 00:39:36,439 --> 00:39:38,239 Speaker 1: I was writing my book and actually didn't know what 708 00:39:38,279 --> 00:39:39,839 Speaker 1: I wrote. I wrote five pages and I was like, 709 00:39:40,120 --> 00:39:41,919 Speaker 1: I had no clue what I wrote. I blacked out 710 00:39:42,000 --> 00:39:44,719 Speaker 1: and I reread it and that's really cool because you 711 00:39:44,799 --> 00:39:50,919 Speaker 1: feel like time completely stops. But I never am in 712 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:52,839 Speaker 1: my work and I go, oh, this is the closest 713 00:39:52,839 --> 00:39:53,879 Speaker 1: to God I'm ever going to get. 714 00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:57,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, that comes from people, and yeah. 715 00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,759 Speaker 1: Kids And also I think children like are the closest 716 00:40:00,799 --> 00:40:04,640 Speaker 1: to something that we are still trying to find as 717 00:40:04,680 --> 00:40:07,519 Speaker 1: we get older. There's like such beauty and just like 718 00:40:07,600 --> 00:40:08,920 Speaker 1: witnessing them. 719 00:40:09,319 --> 00:40:13,719 Speaker 2: We all always end this podcast by asking, right now, 720 00:40:14,399 --> 00:40:17,719 Speaker 2: with your life as it is, are you happy? 721 00:40:18,479 --> 00:40:23,120 Speaker 1: I'm pretty happy. I think that there are some things, 722 00:40:23,120 --> 00:40:27,559 Speaker 1: circumstantial things in our lives right now that don't make 723 00:40:27,600 --> 00:40:32,200 Speaker 1: me the happiest that I'm not sure can be fixed 724 00:40:32,959 --> 00:40:37,680 Speaker 1: right this second, but I would say, in this moment, 725 00:40:38,120 --> 00:40:40,160 Speaker 1: I am pretty happy. 726 00:40:40,719 --> 00:40:44,439 Speaker 2: Are they things to do with work and kind of 727 00:40:44,479 --> 00:40:47,200 Speaker 2: the architecture of life, that nitty gritty kind of part 728 00:40:47,200 --> 00:40:47,439 Speaker 2: of it. 729 00:40:47,959 --> 00:40:51,519 Speaker 1: I think it's family. I think it's trying to figure out, 730 00:40:51,919 --> 00:40:54,200 Speaker 1: you know, my parents are getting older. It's trying to 731 00:40:54,200 --> 00:40:57,160 Speaker 1: figure out how to split time in both places we 732 00:40:57,239 --> 00:41:00,919 Speaker 1: also live. The kids got accepted into schools before we 733 00:41:01,040 --> 00:41:04,200 Speaker 1: moved to buy this house, and so we drive forty 734 00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:06,919 Speaker 1: five minutes each way, which does take up much time. 735 00:41:06,959 --> 00:41:10,359 Speaker 1: And then also it sounds so silly, but because to 736 00:41:10,359 --> 00:41:13,719 Speaker 1: get up at six am, they're exhausted, and it's kind 737 00:41:13,719 --> 00:41:16,640 Speaker 1: of a it's a trickle down effect because they're exhausted, 738 00:41:16,680 --> 00:41:18,759 Speaker 1: We're rushing them when they get home, we're rushing them 739 00:41:18,799 --> 00:41:22,559 Speaker 1: into bed. They feel overwhelmed. So there's dad I'd like 740 00:41:22,600 --> 00:41:25,480 Speaker 1: to figure out. And then I think I'm not fully 741 00:41:25,520 --> 00:41:29,319 Speaker 1: flying in the capabilities of my career. I don't know 742 00:41:29,359 --> 00:41:31,119 Speaker 1: how much of this is true, but it could be 743 00:41:31,120 --> 00:41:34,759 Speaker 1: because I'm stuck in my own sort of dogma of 744 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:38,600 Speaker 1: my belief system of what I truly am allowed to 745 00:41:38,680 --> 00:41:41,279 Speaker 1: do or I'm capable to do in my career. So 746 00:41:41,319 --> 00:41:44,519 Speaker 1: I'm kind of limiting myself with like limiting belief system. 747 00:41:44,919 --> 00:41:48,839 Speaker 1: And I'm also bogged down on things that I'm doing 748 00:41:49,680 --> 00:41:52,759 Speaker 1: that help out family out, like financially, that's probably not 749 00:41:53,120 --> 00:41:55,880 Speaker 1: really where my heart is. So trying to figure out 750 00:41:56,279 --> 00:41:58,279 Speaker 1: how to really do the things that I love and 751 00:41:58,399 --> 00:41:59,759 Speaker 1: to fly in that way. 752 00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:01,920 Speaker 2: I think that's a tension for a lot of people, 753 00:42:02,080 --> 00:42:06,200 Speaker 2: is doing what is best for your family but doesn't 754 00:42:06,239 --> 00:42:09,839 Speaker 2: necessarily serve you. And it's one of those tensions that 755 00:42:09,879 --> 00:42:15,079 Speaker 2: I think as a parent is pretty enduring and can 756 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:15,759 Speaker 2: be really. 757 00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 1: Hard because people ask me a lot, They say, why 758 00:42:18,120 --> 00:42:22,799 Speaker 1: don't you live in Australia full time? And I keep saying, well, unfortunately, 759 00:42:22,839 --> 00:42:25,880 Speaker 1: the film business and the television business as we stand 760 00:42:25,959 --> 00:42:29,959 Speaker 1: right now, we're a tenth of the United States, so 761 00:42:29,959 --> 00:42:33,560 Speaker 1: it's a tenth of the opportunity, and I cannot provide 762 00:42:33,640 --> 00:42:36,559 Speaker 1: from my family the way I can provide for them 763 00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:38,920 Speaker 1: in the States. And I'm really hoping at some point 764 00:42:39,000 --> 00:42:43,040 Speaker 1: that changes, because yeah, like, why wouldn't we want to 765 00:42:43,080 --> 00:42:44,000 Speaker 1: be there at twenty four. 766 00:42:43,839 --> 00:42:51,480 Speaker 2: Sevens, that's all we've got time for. On today's episode 767 00:42:51,719 --> 00:42:55,359 Speaker 2: of But Are You Happy? Tamon Sasock really is one 768 00:42:55,359 --> 00:43:00,600 Speaker 2: of those people whose life looks exceptionally shiny from the outside. 769 00:43:00,959 --> 00:43:04,319 Speaker 2: But I hope this conversation was a firm reminder of 770 00:43:04,359 --> 00:43:08,159 Speaker 2: the way we all grapple with a very similar set 771 00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:12,480 Speaker 2: of struggles. She's play by comparing herself to other people. 772 00:43:13,200 --> 00:43:16,319 Speaker 2: She has missed out on things that she really wanted 773 00:43:16,640 --> 00:43:20,680 Speaker 2: at the time. She has that desire to support herself 774 00:43:20,719 --> 00:43:24,160 Speaker 2: and her family, and then the struggle of balancing doing 775 00:43:24,160 --> 00:43:28,599 Speaker 2: what she loves while also making a living. And even 776 00:43:28,600 --> 00:43:31,999 Speaker 2: if somebody who is not a Hollywood actor, was not 777 00:43:32,040 --> 00:43:35,400 Speaker 2: a famous teenager who doesn't have my own production company 778 00:43:35,600 --> 00:43:37,999 Speaker 2: or a whole lot of people following me online, I 779 00:43:38,080 --> 00:43:41,999 Speaker 2: got a lot out of this conversation with Tamment. I 780 00:43:42,040 --> 00:43:45,799 Speaker 2: think the way she shares the gritty, imperfect parts of 781 00:43:45,839 --> 00:43:48,999 Speaker 2: her life is a gift, and I really want to 782 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:53,759 Speaker 2: thank her for her openness in chatting to me. This 783 00:43:53,919 --> 00:43:57,519 Speaker 2: is also our last episode for the season, and I 784 00:43:57,560 --> 00:44:00,359 Speaker 2: feel like in this season we got a new level 785 00:44:00,399 --> 00:44:03,519 Speaker 2: of depth. We got some really diverse stories and a 786 00:44:03,600 --> 00:44:07,959 Speaker 2: variety of conversations, and I would absolutely love to know 787 00:44:08,080 --> 00:44:10,759 Speaker 2: from you what you got out of season. 788 00:44:11,479 --> 00:44:12,319 Speaker 3: You can share it with me. 789 00:44:12,560 --> 00:44:15,759 Speaker 2: You can slide into my DMS or we've got an 790 00:44:15,759 --> 00:44:18,960 Speaker 2: Instagram account, but are you happy account? You can slide 791 00:44:19,000 --> 00:44:21,799 Speaker 2: in there. We might put a question box up. We 792 00:44:21,879 --> 00:44:25,239 Speaker 2: want to know which episodes resonated the most with you, 793 00:44:26,120 --> 00:44:30,400 Speaker 2: what stories stuck with you, and who else you would 794 00:44:30,399 --> 00:44:35,759 Speaker 2: love to hear from. Please get in touch. There were 795 00:44:35,959 --> 00:44:40,959 Speaker 2: several themes throughout this season that might have brought things up, 796 00:44:41,160 --> 00:44:44,719 Speaker 2: so we've got some resources for support in the show notes. 797 00:44:45,040 --> 00:44:48,320 Speaker 2: We've also got a few surprises coming in the feed, 798 00:44:48,640 --> 00:44:51,719 Speaker 2: so keep an eye out. There's a very exciting interview 799 00:44:51,719 --> 00:44:56,439 Speaker 2: that will be dropping soon, and there will also be 800 00:44:56,919 --> 00:45:00,279 Speaker 2: other things dropping when you are least expecting to hear 801 00:45:00,319 --> 00:45:00,759 Speaker 2: from us. 802 00:45:01,200 --> 00:45:03,000 Speaker 3: You can also leave a review. 803 00:45:03,359 --> 00:45:06,719 Speaker 2: It really helps people to find us and to listen 804 00:45:06,759 --> 00:45:08,839 Speaker 2: to these conversations. You can share the show with a 805 00:45:08,879 --> 00:45:13,040 Speaker 2: friend and and we'll see you next season. The executive 806 00:45:13,040 --> 00:45:15,640 Speaker 2: producer of that Are You Happy? His name A Brown. 807 00:45:15,879 --> 00:45:19,479 Speaker 2: The producer is Charlie Blackman. Audio by Tom Lyon. And 808 00:45:19,520 --> 00:45:22,839 Speaker 2: I'm your host Chleas Stevens and I've loved hanging out 809 00:45:22,879 --> 00:45:25,640 Speaker 2: with you for the last several weeks. We'll chat to 810 00:45:25,640 --> 00:45:26,239 Speaker 2: you again soon. 811 00:45:26,719 --> 00:45:27,040 Speaker 3: Thanks.