1 00:00:11,445 --> 00:00:14,165 Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast. 2 00:00:14,805 --> 00:00:18,285 Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land and 3 00:00:18,325 --> 00:00:20,925 Speaker 2: waters that this podcast is recorded. 4 00:00:20,445 --> 00:00:30,485 Speaker 1: On Hello and welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast 5 00:00:30,565 --> 00:00:33,845 Speaker 1: where if parents are thinking about it, we are talking 6 00:00:33,885 --> 00:00:36,004 Speaker 1: about it. I'm Monic Bowley and I am joined by 7 00:00:36,085 --> 00:00:40,725 Speaker 1: my gorgeous co host, the delightful Stacey Hicks and big 8 00:00:40,765 --> 00:00:42,125 Speaker 1: brain Amelia Lester. 9 00:00:42,485 --> 00:00:46,525 Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, I just need to announce that I 10 00:00:46,605 --> 00:00:49,765 Speaker 3: ran to the bus this morning in pouring rain, so 11 00:00:50,045 --> 00:00:53,245 Speaker 3: I hope I'm giving glowy not sweaty. But if I'm 12 00:00:53,325 --> 00:00:56,165 Speaker 3: giving sweaty, I apologize. 13 00:00:55,525 --> 00:00:56,965 Speaker 4: It's giving both and it's great. 14 00:00:57,085 --> 00:00:59,565 Speaker 3: The translation how I can only do so much. 15 00:01:00,005 --> 00:01:02,925 Speaker 1: Very dewy. I'm into it. It has been a very 16 00:01:02,965 --> 00:01:06,165 Speaker 1: big week in parenting culture. On today's show, there has 17 00:01:06,245 --> 00:01:10,125 Speaker 1: been a tiny shift in the marketing of Father's Day 18 00:01:10,444 --> 00:01:13,405 Speaker 1: that I need to unpack with you guys. Plus, does 19 00:01:13,485 --> 00:01:16,804 Speaker 1: Bluey give you warm feelings or the creeping sense that 20 00:01:17,084 --> 00:01:19,964 Speaker 1: you're a bit of a shit parent? Welcome to the 21 00:01:20,045 --> 00:01:23,125 Speaker 1: Bluey inadequately complex and at the end of the show, 22 00:01:23,125 --> 00:01:24,685 Speaker 1: we're going to tell you all the things we're loving 23 00:01:24,725 --> 00:01:27,084 Speaker 1: and we think that you might love too. It's kind 24 00:01:27,125 --> 00:01:29,245 Speaker 1: of hot tips and the stuff that we share with 25 00:01:29,285 --> 00:01:33,244 Speaker 1: our friends. But first, Stacy, you're the deputy editor of 26 00:01:33,405 --> 00:01:35,964 Speaker 1: Mama Maya. You're the big dog. What's been going off 27 00:01:36,005 --> 00:01:36,765 Speaker 1: online this week? 28 00:01:36,925 --> 00:01:39,524 Speaker 2: Yes, second big dog technically, but I'll take big dog 29 00:01:39,565 --> 00:01:42,444 Speaker 2: as my title. But a story that really popped off 30 00:01:42,444 --> 00:01:45,084 Speaker 2: this week will make you feel very vindicated. If, like me, 31 00:01:45,244 --> 00:01:48,485 Speaker 2: despite it officially being spring, you've already achieved the daycare 32 00:01:48,525 --> 00:01:52,124 Speaker 2: Bingo card of sicknesses. If you have been completely flattened, 33 00:01:52,165 --> 00:01:54,525 Speaker 2: you are not alone. This story was titled You're not 34 00:01:54,565 --> 00:01:57,525 Speaker 2: imagining it. There's a reason everyone is sicker. I think 35 00:01:57,565 --> 00:02:00,125 Speaker 2: this resonated so much with people because we all know 36 00:02:00,205 --> 00:02:03,725 Speaker 2: there's nothing quite like the hell of being sick when 37 00:02:03,965 --> 00:02:06,165 Speaker 2: someone else in your house is also sick at the 38 00:02:06,205 --> 00:02:08,445 Speaker 2: same time, especially if they're a person you have to 39 00:02:08,485 --> 00:02:11,125 Speaker 2: care for. So I think that's why hit the way 40 00:02:11,125 --> 00:02:13,325 Speaker 2: it did. But while it's obviously hard to do the 41 00:02:13,325 --> 00:02:17,005 Speaker 2: sums on every single sickness, Zoe Rutchford spoke to doctor 42 00:02:17,045 --> 00:02:19,685 Speaker 2: Melanie Conroy about the figures that show that there's already 43 00:02:19,685 --> 00:02:22,805 Speaker 2: been two hundred and thirty thousand reported cases of the 44 00:02:22,845 --> 00:02:25,525 Speaker 2: flu this year that's just the ones where they're reported, 45 00:02:25,565 --> 00:02:28,165 Speaker 2: not the heroes that soldier on without it. That is 46 00:02:28,205 --> 00:02:30,005 Speaker 2: the same number as what we had for the entire 47 00:02:30,085 --> 00:02:31,245 Speaker 2: year in twenty twenty two. 48 00:02:31,765 --> 00:02:32,245 Speaker 3: Wow. 49 00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:35,805 Speaker 2: So it's it's hitting people hard. And she cited a 50 00:02:35,805 --> 00:02:40,205 Speaker 2: few possible reasons for the incline. So they include vaccination fatigue, 51 00:02:40,245 --> 00:02:42,565 Speaker 2: saying that maybe you know, that's contributed to the fact 52 00:02:42,565 --> 00:02:45,085 Speaker 2: that half of Australians haven't gotten their COVID booster and 53 00:02:45,125 --> 00:02:48,445 Speaker 2: haven't done their flu shot this year, or it's out. 54 00:02:48,245 --> 00:02:49,125 Speaker 4: Of pocket costs. 55 00:02:49,405 --> 00:02:51,845 Speaker 2: And it's also another potential reason is there is a 56 00:02:51,885 --> 00:02:54,245 Speaker 2: lot more full return to the office now, so a 57 00:02:54,285 --> 00:02:56,765 Speaker 2: lot of us are you know, sweaty on the bus 58 00:02:56,925 --> 00:02:58,085 Speaker 2: or on the train and. 59 00:02:58,005 --> 00:02:59,525 Speaker 4: Sharing the dresses around. 60 00:02:59,805 --> 00:03:00,045 Speaker 1: Yes. 61 00:03:00,845 --> 00:03:04,085 Speaker 3: No, this is really interesting because a it's true. I 62 00:03:04,205 --> 00:03:06,445 Speaker 3: just feel like I've been living in sickness for many 63 00:03:06,485 --> 00:03:09,685 Speaker 3: months now. I came across an article on the Examine newsletter, 64 00:03:09,685 --> 00:03:11,805 Speaker 3: which is a sign newsletter put out by The Herald 65 00:03:11,805 --> 00:03:14,764 Speaker 3: and the Age, and it looked at how even though 66 00:03:14,805 --> 00:03:18,525 Speaker 3: the federal government recommends the flu shot for kids under 67 00:03:18,525 --> 00:03:21,685 Speaker 3: five and it makes it free, the message about the 68 00:03:21,685 --> 00:03:24,965 Speaker 3: importance of getting that flu vaccine is just not getting 69 00:03:25,045 --> 00:03:27,565 Speaker 3: through to parents, and it looked at some reasons why 70 00:03:27,605 --> 00:03:31,045 Speaker 3: that might be. Basically, they did cite that sense of 71 00:03:31,325 --> 00:03:34,125 Speaker 3: parents being concerned about viral load, like getting too many 72 00:03:34,365 --> 00:03:37,765 Speaker 3: vaccinations and experts say this is not a thing, do 73 00:03:37,885 --> 00:03:40,765 Speaker 3: not worry about that. And then they also thought that 74 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:44,525 Speaker 3: maybe it was a post pandemic effect, whereby during COVID 75 00:03:44,645 --> 00:03:47,485 Speaker 3: parents wanted to do anything they could to protect their children, 76 00:03:47,525 --> 00:03:51,445 Speaker 3: and before the COVID vaccine that was essentially the flu vaccine. 77 00:03:51,645 --> 00:03:54,485 Speaker 3: But now we've all kind of forgotten about flu when 78 00:03:54,485 --> 00:03:57,205 Speaker 3: we really shouldn't be. I don't mean to alarm anyone, 79 00:03:57,285 --> 00:04:00,085 Speaker 3: but a startling fact from this newsletter is that the 80 00:04:00,085 --> 00:04:03,605 Speaker 3: hospitalization rate for kids under five of the flu actually 81 00:04:03,645 --> 00:04:07,365 Speaker 3: exceeds that of sixty five plus adults. It's a dangerous 82 00:04:07,605 --> 00:04:10,605 Speaker 3: illness and we are just not taking the steps we 83 00:04:10,685 --> 00:04:11,005 Speaker 3: need to. 84 00:04:11,445 --> 00:04:14,605 Speaker 1: Okay, so confession, I did not have a flu jub 85 00:04:14,685 --> 00:04:16,844 Speaker 1: this year, and I'll tell you why. It's because I 86 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:19,805 Speaker 1: quit my job. So when you work in a place, 87 00:04:19,964 --> 00:04:22,365 Speaker 1: they often run a flu JAB program, right, which makes 88 00:04:22,404 --> 00:04:24,685 Speaker 1: it really easy. Because I think there's two barriers to 89 00:04:24,725 --> 00:04:28,045 Speaker 1: getting the flu JAB that immediately spring to mind. First 90 00:04:28,125 --> 00:04:31,525 Speaker 1: is cost and second is access right. And so when 91 00:04:31,525 --> 00:04:33,645 Speaker 1: you're in a workplace, often they take those two things 92 00:04:33,685 --> 00:04:35,525 Speaker 1: out of the equation. They make it free, and they 93 00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:37,045 Speaker 1: bring someone in to do it for you, so you 94 00:04:37,085 --> 00:04:39,404 Speaker 1: do it while you're at work. So the question I've 95 00:04:39,405 --> 00:04:42,165 Speaker 1: got is why don't they run flu jobs at schools? 96 00:04:42,605 --> 00:04:45,925 Speaker 1: Like there is a national immunization program that rolls out 97 00:04:46,045 --> 00:04:48,405 Speaker 1: some vaccinations, but why don't they just add. 98 00:04:48,205 --> 00:04:50,605 Speaker 3: Flu to that? I wonder if that would be actually 99 00:04:50,685 --> 00:04:55,885 Speaker 3: quite controversial because another interesting stat is that the nationwide 100 00:04:55,925 --> 00:04:59,885 Speaker 3: percentage of children who get all vaccines on average is 101 00:05:00,005 --> 00:05:03,205 Speaker 3: ninety percent, but less than fifty percent of children get 102 00:05:03,205 --> 00:05:05,964 Speaker 3: the flu vaccine. There's something about the flu vaccine where 103 00:05:05,965 --> 00:05:08,525 Speaker 3: I think parents are thinking that it's like optional or 104 00:05:08,525 --> 00:05:11,325 Speaker 3: that it's not important, and that's leading to this decline 105 00:05:11,365 --> 00:05:11,885 Speaker 3: in rates. 106 00:05:12,285 --> 00:05:17,125 Speaker 1: Mellly, you mentioned that, like the messaging isn't ubiquitous around 107 00:05:17,165 --> 00:05:20,605 Speaker 1: flu season? Do public health need to spend more money 108 00:05:20,685 --> 00:05:23,964 Speaker 1: on social media marketing to get the messages into our feeds? 109 00:05:24,005 --> 00:05:24,045 Speaker 2: Like? 110 00:05:24,085 --> 00:05:25,885 Speaker 1: I feel like that is how we are all consuming 111 00:05:25,965 --> 00:05:28,445 Speaker 1: news and information now, does it just need to be 112 00:05:28,525 --> 00:05:32,565 Speaker 1: more like spend less on ads, spend more in social media? 113 00:05:32,645 --> 00:05:35,725 Speaker 3: Well, and I also think that specifically, what the campaign 114 00:05:35,805 --> 00:05:39,285 Speaker 3: should say is this fact that for children under five 115 00:05:39,765 --> 00:05:43,765 Speaker 3: this is resulting in more hospitalizations than for older adults, 116 00:05:43,805 --> 00:05:46,405 Speaker 3: because I think we all have this hangover feeling of 117 00:05:46,485 --> 00:05:49,045 Speaker 3: like it's something that affects older adults and we're kind 118 00:05:49,045 --> 00:05:51,525 Speaker 3: of getting it as an act of benevolence for the oldies. 119 00:05:51,605 --> 00:05:52,685 Speaker 4: But that's not the case. 120 00:05:53,205 --> 00:05:55,565 Speaker 1: Cool, So what else we're parents clicking on this week's stacy? 121 00:05:55,725 --> 00:05:59,445 Speaker 2: Another story that went gangbusters was called are you ready 122 00:05:59,445 --> 00:05:59,685 Speaker 2: for It? 123 00:05:59,965 --> 00:06:00,245 Speaker 1: Mum? 124 00:06:00,365 --> 00:06:04,365 Speaker 2: That means ejaculate. The emojis aren't as innocent as they look, 125 00:06:04,685 --> 00:06:08,725 Speaker 2: and it was basically a glossary we published essentially decoding 126 00:06:08,765 --> 00:06:11,045 Speaker 2: what all the emojis mean that you can figure out 127 00:06:11,045 --> 00:06:13,925 Speaker 2: which ones you're using wrong for your genel for children, 128 00:06:14,285 --> 00:06:15,805 Speaker 2: and if you want to snoop in their phone, you'll 129 00:06:15,845 --> 00:06:17,685 Speaker 2: be able to code what they're saying to one another 130 00:06:17,725 --> 00:06:21,245 Speaker 2: if you're so inclined. So generally we know the ones 131 00:06:21,325 --> 00:06:24,404 Speaker 2: like the eggplant meaning dick dick. 132 00:06:24,645 --> 00:06:26,485 Speaker 4: I was gonna go with Willie for some. 133 00:06:26,365 --> 00:06:30,085 Speaker 1: Reasons to use silly names. 134 00:06:30,165 --> 00:06:33,844 Speaker 2: Yes, so the eggplant is penis. There are so many more, 135 00:06:34,045 --> 00:06:36,045 Speaker 2: so Mon's and Emilia. I'm going to do a little 136 00:06:36,125 --> 00:06:37,605 Speaker 2: quiz with you to see if you're down with the 137 00:06:37,685 --> 00:06:41,565 Speaker 2: kids and see if you're using these correctly. Okay, first one, 138 00:06:41,925 --> 00:06:44,005 Speaker 2: what do you think the red heart means love? 139 00:06:44,485 --> 00:06:44,685 Speaker 3: Yeah? 140 00:06:44,845 --> 00:06:45,045 Speaker 1: Love? 141 00:06:45,165 --> 00:06:47,964 Speaker 4: Yeah, truck question, the red heart is love. You're safe. Okay, 142 00:06:48,005 --> 00:06:49,085 Speaker 4: you can use your red heart. 143 00:06:49,285 --> 00:06:51,165 Speaker 3: So you haven't recovered from the fact that you're not 144 00:06:51,205 --> 00:06:54,165 Speaker 3: meant to use the laughing crying one, because apparently that 145 00:06:54,285 --> 00:06:55,925 Speaker 3: pegs me as an elder Millennius. 146 00:06:55,965 --> 00:06:58,125 Speaker 4: We're so uncall using that. It's fine. We're meant to 147 00:06:58,205 --> 00:06:58,565 Speaker 4: use the. 148 00:06:58,565 --> 00:07:03,725 Speaker 2: Skull anyway, Yeah, meant to say you're like dying laughing. 149 00:07:03,925 --> 00:07:06,645 Speaker 2: We're meant to use the skull anyway. Let's stick without 150 00:07:06,645 --> 00:07:07,245 Speaker 2: crying laughing. 151 00:07:07,285 --> 00:07:07,965 Speaker 4: It's fine. 152 00:07:08,245 --> 00:07:10,445 Speaker 2: But the next one, this shocks me because this is 153 00:07:10,565 --> 00:07:13,485 Speaker 2: my default emoji. This is my top used emoji. So 154 00:07:13,525 --> 00:07:15,325 Speaker 2: I am sending a very confused message. 155 00:07:15,565 --> 00:07:18,045 Speaker 1: The purple heart friendship. 156 00:07:18,565 --> 00:07:20,845 Speaker 4: Oh god, is this the ejaculate one? 157 00:07:22,005 --> 00:07:27,245 Speaker 2: No, but close it means you're aroused, Oh, arousal. That's 158 00:07:27,285 --> 00:07:30,245 Speaker 2: the purple heart, and I've been sending that to all 159 00:07:30,245 --> 00:07:30,965 Speaker 2: my coworkers. 160 00:07:31,125 --> 00:07:34,445 Speaker 3: It actually it actually means the word beginning with H, 161 00:07:34,605 --> 00:07:35,165 Speaker 3: doesn't it. 162 00:07:35,685 --> 00:07:39,605 Speaker 4: Yeah, horny, horny, purple heart segment. 163 00:07:40,845 --> 00:07:44,125 Speaker 2: Okay, now the corn cob like, what could that possibly mean? 164 00:07:44,445 --> 00:07:45,165 Speaker 4: So innocent? 165 00:07:45,605 --> 00:07:49,085 Speaker 1: It means cringe. It's so corny, so cringe. 166 00:07:49,245 --> 00:07:51,645 Speaker 2: No, well, it's code for porn. So they use this 167 00:07:51,685 --> 00:07:54,485 Speaker 2: a lot on TikTok as code for porn because it 168 00:07:54,565 --> 00:08:00,565 Speaker 2: rhymes with corn. Okay, very simple. Now, this one genuinely 169 00:08:00,605 --> 00:08:04,565 Speaker 2: shocked a lot of us. The little brain emoji thinking emoji, 170 00:08:04,645 --> 00:08:05,485 Speaker 2: the little brain. 171 00:08:05,765 --> 00:08:08,765 Speaker 1: Nerd like, what a nerd? Oh, my god, such a nerd? 172 00:08:09,365 --> 00:08:13,805 Speaker 2: Sixty nine Amelia's pretty close, really close. It is code 173 00:08:13,845 --> 00:08:14,725 Speaker 2: for head. 174 00:08:15,205 --> 00:08:18,725 Speaker 1: Oh, I'm so sorry. 175 00:08:18,885 --> 00:08:22,165 Speaker 3: We never talked about such things when I was a child. 176 00:08:22,685 --> 00:08:25,085 Speaker 2: I know, we were just such innocent little beings. And 177 00:08:25,125 --> 00:08:28,205 Speaker 2: the last one I had was the bolonnaise the spaghetti 178 00:08:28,285 --> 00:08:29,325 Speaker 2: noodles with the fork. 179 00:08:29,845 --> 00:08:31,245 Speaker 1: I'm hungry for. 180 00:08:31,365 --> 00:08:33,484 Speaker 4: Mind boggles, some to pray sex. 181 00:08:33,765 --> 00:08:38,845 Speaker 2: I know, nudes, send nudes. Noodles noodles send nudes. 182 00:08:39,245 --> 00:08:40,365 Speaker 4: So there you go, your education. 183 00:08:40,485 --> 00:08:42,645 Speaker 3: So have you actually managed to get yourself out of 184 00:08:42,645 --> 00:08:44,365 Speaker 3: the habit of using the purple heart at work? 185 00:08:44,405 --> 00:08:46,005 Speaker 4: Because I'm embarrassed for you. 186 00:08:46,045 --> 00:08:47,885 Speaker 2: No, I'm still sending it, but I just avoid sending 187 00:08:47,925 --> 00:08:50,285 Speaker 2: it to the gen Z's because that feels more risky, 188 00:08:51,245 --> 00:08:52,285 Speaker 2: so ejaculate. 189 00:08:52,325 --> 00:08:55,005 Speaker 1: We need to get water, the splashy war es. 190 00:08:55,245 --> 00:08:58,085 Speaker 4: Mon's ding ding ding. That's right, it's the splashy water 191 00:08:58,325 --> 00:08:59,685 Speaker 4: yeap that is ejaculate. 192 00:08:59,765 --> 00:09:01,725 Speaker 2: So now you know what to avoid. The rest of 193 00:09:01,765 --> 00:09:03,125 Speaker 2: the list will be in the show notes. 194 00:09:03,845 --> 00:09:06,205 Speaker 1: Okay, into the main stuff for this week. So the 195 00:09:06,245 --> 00:09:09,005 Speaker 1: first topic we want to kind of hook into an 196 00:09:09,085 --> 00:09:12,684 Speaker 1: unpack is about Father's Now, Father's Day is Sunday, and 197 00:09:12,885 --> 00:09:15,605 Speaker 1: the marketing for it is in full swing. My letterbox 198 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,805 Speaker 1: is full of Bunning's catalogs and Ratco sheds and like 199 00:09:18,885 --> 00:09:22,085 Speaker 1: Dan Murphy's catalogs. But I got an email this week 200 00:09:22,285 --> 00:09:25,885 Speaker 1: from a major brand asking something that I've never seen before. 201 00:09:26,245 --> 00:09:29,485 Speaker 1: It asked if I wanted to opt out of Father's 202 00:09:29,565 --> 00:09:34,525 Speaker 1: Day marketing. And the email said, we understand that Father's 203 00:09:34,605 --> 00:09:37,925 Speaker 1: Day is a sensitive time for many. If you'd prefer 204 00:09:38,085 --> 00:09:41,005 Speaker 1: not to receive any Father's Day related emails, you can 205 00:09:41,045 --> 00:09:43,405 Speaker 1: opt out by clicking the button below. And it got 206 00:09:43,445 --> 00:09:45,845 Speaker 1: me thinking because I think in the last maybe six 207 00:09:45,925 --> 00:09:49,805 Speaker 1: or seven years, we've seen this cultural shift around Mother's Day, 208 00:09:50,165 --> 00:09:52,405 Speaker 1: like whereas a decade ago it was kind of wall 209 00:09:52,405 --> 00:09:56,485 Speaker 1: to wall like World's Best Mom sort of marketing, Whereas 210 00:09:56,565 --> 00:10:00,765 Speaker 1: now it's understood that not everyone's experience of motherhood and 211 00:10:00,845 --> 00:10:03,725 Speaker 1: not everyone's relationship with their mom is like a Hallmark card. 212 00:10:03,805 --> 00:10:06,445 Speaker 1: There is sort of grief and estrangement and it can 213 00:10:06,485 --> 00:10:10,285 Speaker 1: be complicated. So brands and people are a little bit 214 00:10:10,365 --> 00:10:13,525 Speaker 1: more delicate now around how they talk about Mother's Day. 215 00:10:13,845 --> 00:10:16,525 Speaker 1: But this is the first time I've seen this same 216 00:10:16,605 --> 00:10:19,125 Speaker 1: treatment applied to Father's Day, so I wanted to check 217 00:10:19,165 --> 00:10:21,605 Speaker 1: in with you, guys. Where are we at with Father's 218 00:10:21,685 --> 00:10:22,245 Speaker 1: Day this year? 219 00:10:22,325 --> 00:10:22,685 Speaker 4: Stacy? 220 00:10:22,725 --> 00:10:23,645 Speaker 1: What do you think it all means? 221 00:10:24,165 --> 00:10:25,125 Speaker 4: I think it's interesting. 222 00:10:25,165 --> 00:10:27,885 Speaker 2: I definitely think it is a step towards recognizing the 223 00:10:27,925 --> 00:10:31,205 Speaker 2: sensitivities around it for some people on the more serious 224 00:10:31,205 --> 00:10:34,085 Speaker 2: side of it, because I think we never really consider 225 00:10:34,125 --> 00:10:36,365 Speaker 2: the fathers or the men out there who might be 226 00:10:36,405 --> 00:10:38,805 Speaker 2: receiving these emails and are desperate to become a dad, 227 00:10:38,805 --> 00:10:42,205 Speaker 2: but are also struggling with infertility or their partner having 228 00:10:42,285 --> 00:10:44,725 Speaker 2: pregnancy loss. So I think on that side of things, 229 00:10:44,765 --> 00:10:47,925 Speaker 2: it's really lovely that there is that sensitivity there for 230 00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:51,005 Speaker 2: people who maybe don't have the best relationship or are 231 00:10:51,045 --> 00:10:53,325 Speaker 2: longing to be fathers and aren't at this point in 232 00:10:53,365 --> 00:10:56,565 Speaker 2: their lives. But on the more cynical side of this, 233 00:10:57,085 --> 00:10:59,445 Speaker 2: I just think people might use this opt out situation 234 00:10:59,525 --> 00:11:01,324 Speaker 2: to get rid of the emails because they never buy 235 00:11:01,365 --> 00:11:04,085 Speaker 2: their dad are present. Like every year my dad tells 236 00:11:04,085 --> 00:11:06,565 Speaker 2: me he doesn't want a present. Every year, I believe him. 237 00:11:06,885 --> 00:11:08,684 Speaker 2: I just take him for a drink, which he usually 238 00:11:08,765 --> 00:11:09,605 Speaker 2: ends up paying for. 239 00:11:09,685 --> 00:11:12,485 Speaker 4: And that's that. Like Father's Day is just not thought 240 00:11:12,485 --> 00:11:13,965 Speaker 4: about as much as Mother's Day. 241 00:11:14,245 --> 00:11:16,445 Speaker 3: And I'm going to get even more cynical on you, 242 00:11:17,005 --> 00:11:19,525 Speaker 3: and I want to step back and ask you both 243 00:11:19,645 --> 00:11:23,485 Speaker 3: how you feel about those emails for Mother's Day or 244 00:11:23,525 --> 00:11:25,845 Speaker 3: Father's Day, the ones that say, you know, let us 245 00:11:25,885 --> 00:11:28,005 Speaker 3: know if you have a complicated relationship with your mother. 246 00:11:28,085 --> 00:11:30,085 Speaker 4: Because why am I telling. 247 00:11:29,805 --> 00:11:32,285 Speaker 3: The brand that it's sort of the brand pretending to 248 00:11:32,365 --> 00:11:35,845 Speaker 3: be sensitive and concerned about my feelings, but they're also 249 00:11:35,965 --> 00:11:38,525 Speaker 3: harvesting my data. Why am I telling them about my 250 00:11:38,565 --> 00:11:41,485 Speaker 3: complicated family dynamics? Probably so that they can sell me 251 00:11:41,525 --> 00:11:43,645 Speaker 3: more stuff? Or am I being cynical? Do we think 252 00:11:43,645 --> 00:11:44,525 Speaker 3: that these are helpful? 253 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:48,125 Speaker 1: No, that was my second thought. My first thought was oh, 254 00:11:48,125 --> 00:11:50,365 Speaker 1: how interesting. My second thought was, oh, this is another 255 00:11:50,485 --> 00:11:53,564 Speaker 1: data point for you to fill your algorithm. And also 256 00:11:54,205 --> 00:11:57,645 Speaker 1: it also feels like savvy marketing dressed up as empathy. 257 00:11:57,805 --> 00:12:00,285 Speaker 1: So I do see that. I'm also interested in why 258 00:12:00,325 --> 00:12:03,684 Speaker 1: there was a lag for this to hit the dad's content, 259 00:12:03,845 --> 00:12:06,845 Speaker 1: and I wonder if it's because My theory is like 260 00:12:06,965 --> 00:12:10,324 Speaker 1: dads seem to carry like less emotional weight in the culture. 261 00:12:10,485 --> 00:12:12,245 Speaker 1: Like you think about the way dads are depicted in 262 00:12:12,285 --> 00:12:15,525 Speaker 1: pop culture and it's like feel done fee from modern 263 00:12:15,605 --> 00:12:19,525 Speaker 1: family or like Daddy Pig, just like well meaning but 264 00:12:19,725 --> 00:12:24,444 Speaker 1: quite bumbling dads. So I think fatherhood feels less emotionally loaded, 265 00:12:24,605 --> 00:12:27,045 Speaker 1: like in the public's imagination. So I think there's been 266 00:12:27,165 --> 00:12:32,285 Speaker 1: less pressure on brands to handle Father's Day carefully until now. 267 00:12:32,605 --> 00:12:35,165 Speaker 1: I think this is a kind of an interesting shift here. 268 00:12:35,205 --> 00:12:37,925 Speaker 1: It's like, are we finally starting to see dads differently? 269 00:12:38,485 --> 00:12:40,805 Speaker 1: And if that's the case, like Father's Day might start 270 00:12:40,805 --> 00:12:43,565 Speaker 1: to look really different in future. So I hear your cynicism. 271 00:12:43,645 --> 00:12:46,165 Speaker 1: I don't disagree with it. I think you're right about that. 272 00:12:46,445 --> 00:12:48,725 Speaker 1: I'm just holding out hope that the dial is kind 273 00:12:48,725 --> 00:12:49,405 Speaker 1: of shifting here. 274 00:12:49,605 --> 00:12:52,485 Speaker 3: No, that's really interesting, Mon's I hadn't thought about that, 275 00:12:52,565 --> 00:12:55,725 Speaker 3: but now that you mentioned, say, Daddy Pig from Pepper Pig, 276 00:12:55,805 --> 00:12:58,845 Speaker 3: there's this iconic song from Pepper Pig where they sing 277 00:12:59,005 --> 00:13:01,525 Speaker 3: He's a bit of an expert about Daddy Pig, And 278 00:13:01,565 --> 00:13:04,245 Speaker 3: the idea is that he pretends that he's an expert 279 00:13:04,245 --> 00:13:07,205 Speaker 3: in all sorts of things, but actually he's pretty useless 280 00:13:07,245 --> 00:13:09,965 Speaker 3: at most things. And that really is a sort of 281 00:13:10,005 --> 00:13:13,965 Speaker 3: trope that we have around dads. There's another trope that 282 00:13:14,005 --> 00:13:16,005 Speaker 3: I think this is kind of reversing too, and it 283 00:13:16,165 --> 00:13:19,005 Speaker 3: relates to what you said, Stacy, for people who long 284 00:13:19,125 --> 00:13:22,805 Speaker 3: to be dads. Yeah, I'm wondering how big that group is. 285 00:13:23,085 --> 00:13:26,565 Speaker 3: I don't want to stereotype, but certainly the pressures that 286 00:13:26,765 --> 00:13:29,885 Speaker 3: are on women to pro create are so much more 287 00:13:29,885 --> 00:13:33,965 Speaker 3: intense and explicit. But are we now getting to the 288 00:13:34,045 --> 00:13:38,045 Speaker 3: point where men too are getting these pressures that they 289 00:13:38,085 --> 00:13:41,645 Speaker 3: need to sort of perform adulthood and have babies. 290 00:13:42,125 --> 00:13:46,165 Speaker 2: Yeah, it just feels like maybe we're putting that onto 291 00:13:46,245 --> 00:13:48,325 Speaker 2: people a little bit like that, it's getting to that 292 00:13:48,365 --> 00:13:51,245 Speaker 2: extreme point where we're being sensitive about every possible thing, 293 00:13:51,325 --> 00:13:53,925 Speaker 2: when really you can choose to turn away from that 294 00:13:54,005 --> 00:13:56,684 Speaker 2: if you want. So, does it work for you like Mom's, 295 00:13:56,725 --> 00:13:59,205 Speaker 2: doesn't make you think more of a brand that they're 296 00:13:59,205 --> 00:14:01,365 Speaker 2: doing this, or does it make you think they are 297 00:14:01,405 --> 00:14:02,525 Speaker 2: being a bit manipulative. 298 00:14:02,965 --> 00:14:05,965 Speaker 1: No, I'm cynical about it, but I do think that 299 00:14:06,085 --> 00:14:10,245 Speaker 1: sometimes like brands respond to cultural touch points, brands respond 300 00:14:10,245 --> 00:14:12,845 Speaker 1: to the cultural temperature, and so I think it's an 301 00:14:12,885 --> 00:14:13,804 Speaker 1: interesting signifier. 302 00:14:15,645 --> 00:14:18,085 Speaker 2: Now here's something which I've been hanging to talk about 303 00:14:18,085 --> 00:14:22,805 Speaker 2: this week. Hamma, barn, dollar bucks, wackadoo. If you recognize 304 00:14:22,805 --> 00:14:26,365 Speaker 2: those sounds I just made as actual words, then congratulations. 305 00:14:26,605 --> 00:14:28,205 Speaker 2: You are one of the millions of people who is 306 00:14:28,205 --> 00:14:33,245 Speaker 2: watching what is considered Australia's most successful show ever. Bluey So, 307 00:14:33,365 --> 00:14:36,565 Speaker 2: the animated series by Joe Brahm about the Healer dog family, 308 00:14:36,685 --> 00:14:40,485 Speaker 2: is now in sixty countries and was viewed for fifty 309 00:14:40,525 --> 00:14:43,725 Speaker 2: five point six billion minutes last year. Most of those 310 00:14:43,765 --> 00:14:46,565 Speaker 2: came from my household alone, and if you're like me, 311 00:14:46,605 --> 00:14:48,405 Speaker 2: you still can't get through a few of the episodes 312 00:14:48,525 --> 00:14:53,485 Speaker 2: Baby Race, Granddad Camping without crying. Such is the power 313 00:14:53,565 --> 00:14:56,645 Speaker 2: of these animated dogs. As far as it goes with 314 00:14:56,765 --> 00:14:59,005 Speaker 2: screen time, it's widely considered to be one of the 315 00:14:59,005 --> 00:15:02,005 Speaker 2: better shows for our kids. So a new article from 316 00:15:02,085 --> 00:15:05,285 Speaker 2: the Conversation talked about how researchers watched one hundred and 317 00:15:05,325 --> 00:15:08,005 Speaker 2: fifty episodes of Bluey, which I feel like is every 318 00:15:08,085 --> 00:15:12,485 Speaker 2: episode of Bluey. Surely they found that she Blue being 319 00:15:12,525 --> 00:15:14,725 Speaker 2: a girl, just in case you weren't clear. I know 320 00:15:14,805 --> 00:15:17,325 Speaker 2: MEA Friedman only found out about a month ago that 321 00:15:17,365 --> 00:15:20,965 Speaker 2: Blue is teaching kids' resilience in the face of life's 322 00:15:21,045 --> 00:15:23,965 Speaker 2: ups and downs. Apparently it's the first time the show's 323 00:15:24,005 --> 00:15:27,445 Speaker 2: been systematically examined like this to see how it's teaching 324 00:15:27,685 --> 00:15:30,845 Speaker 2: resilient behavior, and nearly half of the episodes have that 325 00:15:30,965 --> 00:15:35,485 Speaker 2: as the primary or the secondary theme. So, Amelia, are 326 00:15:35,525 --> 00:15:37,245 Speaker 2: you as in love with Blue as I am? 327 00:15:38,285 --> 00:15:39,645 Speaker 4: I love that you brought this up. 328 00:15:39,725 --> 00:15:42,565 Speaker 3: I have really complicated feelings that I'm looking forward to 329 00:15:42,645 --> 00:15:45,045 Speaker 3: unpacking with you both. I should say that when I 330 00:15:45,165 --> 00:15:48,005 Speaker 3: moved back to Australia from the United States last year, 331 00:15:48,965 --> 00:15:51,885 Speaker 3: the only thing anyone said to me about the move 332 00:15:52,525 --> 00:15:55,285 Speaker 3: was is it going to be like Bluey there? I 333 00:15:55,565 --> 00:16:01,885 Speaker 3: cannot overstate the way that Blue has shaped international perceptions 334 00:16:01,925 --> 00:16:05,045 Speaker 3: of Australia and of the life of children in Australia. 335 00:16:05,125 --> 00:16:07,725 Speaker 3: They think that it's like Bluie, and look, I was 336 00:16:07,805 --> 00:16:09,565 Speaker 3: kind of curious about whether it would be like blue 337 00:16:09,605 --> 00:16:12,005 Speaker 3: as well, and to some extent it really is. I 338 00:16:12,045 --> 00:16:15,165 Speaker 3: think it captures something that's still very present in an 339 00:16:15,165 --> 00:16:19,285 Speaker 3: Australian childhood that is gone from at least American childhoods, 340 00:16:19,325 --> 00:16:23,125 Speaker 3: which is it feels more carefree, it feels more safe, 341 00:16:23,725 --> 00:16:26,925 Speaker 3: it feels more harmonious. So I'd say that it's a 342 00:16:26,965 --> 00:16:29,685 Speaker 3: really nice depiction of Australian childhood. 343 00:16:29,765 --> 00:16:33,205 Speaker 1: Oh you know what, you two, this show does not 344 00:16:33,365 --> 00:16:36,645 Speaker 1: need any more fans. I can hear you both, Joe 345 00:16:36,725 --> 00:16:40,525 Speaker 1: loving it sick. We know it's the best show on TV. 346 00:16:41,325 --> 00:16:46,245 Speaker 1: Blah blah blah. Joe Brahm's a genius. It's gorgeous. What's 347 00:16:46,485 --> 00:16:52,605 Speaker 1: interesting is the unpopular opinion, the undercurrent of I can't 348 00:16:52,645 --> 00:16:55,765 Speaker 1: watch this. It's making me feel like a shit parent. 349 00:16:55,845 --> 00:16:58,365 Speaker 3: Okay, I'm glad that you brought that up, because this 350 00:16:58,485 --> 00:17:00,565 Speaker 3: is where the complicated feelings come in. I got a 351 00:17:00,645 --> 00:17:03,445 Speaker 3: text from a friend the other day. She has three children. 352 00:17:03,525 --> 00:17:06,725 Speaker 3: I think of her as an amazing parent. For the record, 353 00:17:07,524 --> 00:17:09,725 Speaker 3: she wrote me a text pretty much out of the blue. 354 00:17:09,845 --> 00:17:12,764 Speaker 3: She said, I'm the bearer of some reassurance about parenting. 355 00:17:13,365 --> 00:17:16,645 Speaker 3: I was noodling around and found some conversation about how 356 00:17:16,685 --> 00:17:19,244 Speaker 3: parents who watch Bluey with their kids are talking to 357 00:17:19,285 --> 00:17:22,205 Speaker 3: each other and their shrinks about how the show makes 358 00:17:22,205 --> 00:17:26,005 Speaker 3: them feel like detached, inattentive parents who do not play 359 00:17:26,165 --> 00:17:28,325 Speaker 3: enough with their kids. And I thought, well, if she's 360 00:17:28,405 --> 00:17:30,565 Speaker 3: feeling like that, To be honest, I'm feeling a bit 361 00:17:30,645 --> 00:17:31,645 Speaker 3: like that too. 362 00:17:31,765 --> 00:17:34,484 Speaker 1: Yeah. It feels unpopular to say it, but there is 363 00:17:34,525 --> 00:17:38,085 Speaker 1: this big swell, this groundswell of parents talking to their 364 00:17:38,085 --> 00:17:41,445 Speaker 1: therapist saying this show makes me feel so shit, And 365 00:17:41,484 --> 00:17:43,885 Speaker 1: I think that's really interesting to unpack. I saw a 366 00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:48,085 Speaker 1: great article on substack. Jess Commons wrote it. She's a journalist, 367 00:17:48,165 --> 00:17:51,244 Speaker 1: She's got a substack called mother Loading, and she wrote 368 00:17:51,245 --> 00:17:54,044 Speaker 1: about it as well earlier this year and said, how 369 00:17:54,165 --> 00:17:58,965 Speaker 1: dare these cartoon dogs with seemingly no financial troubles and 370 00:17:59,245 --> 00:18:02,244 Speaker 1: endless amounts of time show me up? There is no 371 00:18:02,484 --> 00:18:06,805 Speaker 1: way I can be as engaged, as invested, as imaginative 372 00:18:06,845 --> 00:18:09,845 Speaker 1: as them, and it makes me feel shitty. And there's 373 00:18:09,965 --> 00:18:12,564 Speaker 1: also there was this hilarious piece in The New Yorker 374 00:18:12,605 --> 00:18:18,044 Speaker 1: by Ellis Rosen called Blue's Dad thinks He's so great 375 00:18:18,885 --> 00:18:22,125 Speaker 1: and it starts like this, it goes, well, there is again, 376 00:18:22,484 --> 00:18:26,365 Speaker 1: mister perfect dad, the best father ever to grace the 377 00:18:26,445 --> 00:18:30,324 Speaker 1: television screen. That's what everyone says anyway, including my wife 378 00:18:30,325 --> 00:18:33,325 Speaker 1: and children, which doesn't hurt my feelings at all. I 379 00:18:33,445 --> 00:18:36,765 Speaker 1: definitely didn't mind when my daughter asked me to pretend 380 00:18:36,805 --> 00:18:39,764 Speaker 1: to be Bluey's dad, even though she wasn't pretending to 381 00:18:39,805 --> 00:18:43,965 Speaker 1: be blue Like, the struggle is real. There are parents 382 00:18:44,085 --> 00:18:48,445 Speaker 1: out there who feel kind of insecure. This show brings 383 00:18:48,525 --> 00:18:51,205 Speaker 1: up a lot of feelings of like guilt and rejection 384 00:18:51,405 --> 00:18:54,285 Speaker 1: and fear and maybe defense. And I think that this 385 00:18:54,405 --> 00:18:59,044 Speaker 1: show very quietly exposes the gap between the parent that 386 00:18:59,765 --> 00:19:02,764 Speaker 1: we are and the parent we wish we were, and 387 00:19:02,805 --> 00:19:03,845 Speaker 1: that's confronting. 388 00:19:04,325 --> 00:19:07,205 Speaker 3: Yeah, let's call it the Bluey backlash. I've started seeing 389 00:19:07,245 --> 00:19:09,564 Speaker 3: it everywhere since I got that text. I found an 390 00:19:09,645 --> 00:19:12,365 Speaker 3: article on Good Housekeeping that said Louie is fun to watch, 391 00:19:12,405 --> 00:19:14,925 Speaker 3: but it makes parents feel like crap. And I've got 392 00:19:14,965 --> 00:19:16,925 Speaker 3: an example of how it makes me feel like crap. 393 00:19:17,245 --> 00:19:20,005 Speaker 3: There's an episode called Stickbird, which I think about a lot, 394 00:19:20,045 --> 00:19:23,605 Speaker 3: and in that episode, Blue's dad Bandit is really upset 395 00:19:23,605 --> 00:19:27,764 Speaker 3: about something and yet he still has to play with Bluie. 396 00:19:27,845 --> 00:19:31,484 Speaker 3: They're at the beach, and what's very intriguing about this 397 00:19:31,565 --> 00:19:34,645 Speaker 3: episode is that he tells Bluie that he's a bit 398 00:19:34,725 --> 00:19:37,685 Speaker 3: upset about something, and in fact, mental health advocacy groups 399 00:19:37,725 --> 00:19:40,885 Speaker 3: have praised this episode for reminding men to talk about 400 00:19:40,885 --> 00:19:43,685 Speaker 3: their emotions. So great, let's make sure that Blue gets 401 00:19:43,685 --> 00:19:47,244 Speaker 3: that recognition. But what's interesting is that he manages to 402 00:19:47,285 --> 00:19:50,485 Speaker 3: hold it in having expressed that sadness, and he doesn't 403 00:19:50,525 --> 00:19:53,965 Speaker 3: tell Bluie why he's sad. And I think about that, 404 00:19:54,085 --> 00:19:56,965 Speaker 3: because that's a really high bar if you're really sad 405 00:19:57,045 --> 00:20:00,484 Speaker 3: or upset about something and your parenting to just merely 406 00:20:00,525 --> 00:20:02,804 Speaker 3: say I'm upset about something. It has nothing to do 407 00:20:02,885 --> 00:20:05,045 Speaker 3: with you. Let's move on and keep playing a game 408 00:20:05,605 --> 00:20:07,885 Speaker 3: that's really hard to do. I find myself wanting to 409 00:20:07,925 --> 00:20:10,845 Speaker 3: share with my children why I'm sad. Now, maybe that's 410 00:20:10,885 --> 00:20:14,085 Speaker 3: a boundary that I shouldn't be crossing. But every time 411 00:20:14,125 --> 00:20:17,325 Speaker 3: I do experience, you know, a difficult chapter, I think 412 00:20:17,365 --> 00:20:20,804 Speaker 3: about Stickford and how band It doesn't say why he's sad, 413 00:20:20,885 --> 00:20:23,085 Speaker 3: and it just feels like an impossible bar. 414 00:20:23,565 --> 00:20:26,245 Speaker 1: The whole show is an impossible bar. Amelia the Whole Show, 415 00:20:26,365 --> 00:20:30,965 Speaker 1: like Bandit and Chili, are endlessly patient and playful and 416 00:20:31,085 --> 00:20:36,725 Speaker 1: available and navigating like complex emotional issues. They're never hiding 417 00:20:36,765 --> 00:20:39,885 Speaker 1: in the pantry scrolling their phone or like giving their 418 00:20:39,925 --> 00:20:45,084 Speaker 1: kids the finger behind their back. And even though it's fiction, like, 419 00:20:45,165 --> 00:20:49,205 Speaker 1: our brains are still comparing and what we see, yeah, 420 00:20:49,365 --> 00:20:51,804 Speaker 1: can make us uncomfortable with how we're doing things. And 421 00:20:51,885 --> 00:20:54,804 Speaker 1: I think this show, like you said, it models a 422 00:20:54,845 --> 00:20:57,564 Speaker 1: lot of amazing parenting, and so it has become in 423 00:20:57,605 --> 00:21:01,004 Speaker 1: the zeitgeist, like the default for great parenting is to 424 00:21:01,045 --> 00:21:05,084 Speaker 1: be like Bluie's parents. You know, they model this very slow, 425 00:21:05,285 --> 00:21:09,845 Speaker 1: very responsive, very playful parenting. But for most of us 426 00:21:10,085 --> 00:21:14,524 Speaker 1: who juggling work and fatigue and commutes and craziest schedules, 427 00:21:14,565 --> 00:21:17,244 Speaker 1: like we're tired and we're distracted, and it just feels 428 00:21:17,285 --> 00:21:18,325 Speaker 1: quite unattainable. 429 00:21:18,565 --> 00:21:19,445 Speaker 4: Yeah, definitely. 430 00:21:19,565 --> 00:21:22,284 Speaker 2: And I think there are episodes where you see the 431 00:21:22,365 --> 00:21:24,365 Speaker 2: mum and the dad on their phone, but the second 432 00:21:24,405 --> 00:21:26,685 Speaker 2: the child enters the room, the phone gets put away. 433 00:21:26,845 --> 00:21:28,405 Speaker 2: And I don't know that all of us can say 434 00:21:28,405 --> 00:21:31,325 Speaker 2: that that happens immediately when it's us one of the 435 00:21:31,325 --> 00:21:33,804 Speaker 2: positives because I love to make myself feel bad. So 436 00:21:34,005 --> 00:21:35,965 Speaker 2: now that you've said it, I'm definitely thinking about it 437 00:21:35,965 --> 00:21:37,965 Speaker 2: more and thinking about all the times I've gone, oh, yeah, 438 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:41,564 Speaker 2: I probably should be doing that, just like Chilli heeler is, 439 00:21:41,885 --> 00:21:44,084 Speaker 2: but I think one of the ways that it's helped 440 00:21:44,165 --> 00:21:47,325 Speaker 2: if you're not a parent that finds play naturally comes 441 00:21:47,325 --> 00:21:49,885 Speaker 2: to them when your kids are at that age. Imaginative 442 00:21:49,925 --> 00:21:53,285 Speaker 2: play I find especially embarrassing. Don't know why, but I've 443 00:21:53,325 --> 00:21:56,205 Speaker 2: found that Bluey is kind of a connector to some 444 00:21:56,365 --> 00:21:58,965 Speaker 2: games or some activities that I can do with my 445 00:21:59,085 --> 00:22:02,365 Speaker 2: daughter that she recognizes from the show, that I recognize 446 00:22:02,365 --> 00:22:04,405 Speaker 2: from the show, and then it feels like it's a 447 00:22:04,484 --> 00:22:07,285 Speaker 2: level playing field that we're doing what the Healer family did. 448 00:22:07,605 --> 00:22:10,564 Speaker 3: There are some positives, so it is useful anytime a 449 00:22:10,565 --> 00:22:13,165 Speaker 3: balloon to play keep you uppy. Let's face that I 450 00:22:13,205 --> 00:22:16,165 Speaker 3: wanted to get though. Why we think it's kind of 451 00:22:16,205 --> 00:22:19,245 Speaker 3: like pushing our button. I have a theory for why 452 00:22:19,285 --> 00:22:23,605 Speaker 3: this is. I think it's because it's depicting parents spending 453 00:22:23,605 --> 00:22:25,925 Speaker 3: a lot of one on one time with their children, 454 00:22:26,005 --> 00:22:28,205 Speaker 3: giving them a lot of attention, and we feel like 455 00:22:28,245 --> 00:22:30,685 Speaker 3: we're not doing enough of that. But I've got a 456 00:22:30,725 --> 00:22:33,564 Speaker 3: really reassuring newsflash for you, which is that we are 457 00:22:33,605 --> 00:22:36,484 Speaker 3: actually spending so much more time with our children than 458 00:22:36,525 --> 00:22:40,165 Speaker 3: previous generations. I found an Economist article from twenty seventeen, 459 00:22:40,245 --> 00:22:43,085 Speaker 3: so pre pandemic, which said that parents are now spending 460 00:22:43,125 --> 00:22:45,365 Speaker 3: twice as much time with their children than they did 461 00:22:45,445 --> 00:22:49,725 Speaker 3: fifty years ago. So don't feel bad. We're already spending 462 00:22:49,805 --> 00:22:51,804 Speaker 3: so much more time with them. And it turns out 463 00:22:51,845 --> 00:22:54,365 Speaker 3: even men are too, So men are still spending less 464 00:22:54,365 --> 00:22:57,445 Speaker 3: time with their children than women are, but the amount 465 00:22:57,445 --> 00:23:00,125 Speaker 3: of time has jumped sixteen minutes a day over the 466 00:23:00,205 --> 00:23:03,085 Speaker 3: last decade to fifty nine minutes a day. Fifty nine minutes. 467 00:23:03,125 --> 00:23:04,565 Speaker 4: I feel like I'm probably. 468 00:23:04,165 --> 00:23:06,365 Speaker 3: Spending around fifty nine minutes a day with my children, 469 00:23:06,365 --> 00:23:09,605 Speaker 3: and that's average, and I loved that. One exception to 470 00:23:09,685 --> 00:23:13,645 Speaker 3: this trend France. In France, people are still sipping their 471 00:23:13,685 --> 00:23:16,725 Speaker 3: wine and ignoring their remarkably well behaved children. That's what 472 00:23:16,765 --> 00:23:20,405 Speaker 3: the studies show, So don't feel bad. Australians are spending 473 00:23:20,445 --> 00:23:22,965 Speaker 3: plenty of time with their children, and Bluis is accurately 474 00:23:22,965 --> 00:23:23,524 Speaker 3: depicting that. 475 00:23:24,005 --> 00:23:25,845 Speaker 1: I feel like I've been too hard on Louis. I 476 00:23:25,885 --> 00:23:28,045 Speaker 1: do think it is the most beautiful show, the most 477 00:23:28,045 --> 00:23:30,085 Speaker 1: well made show on TV right now, and it deserves 478 00:23:30,125 --> 00:23:32,804 Speaker 1: all of its sissess and it should infiltrate France and 479 00:23:32,805 --> 00:23:37,804 Speaker 1: teach the French engage playful parenting familiar if I am 480 00:23:37,845 --> 00:23:40,044 Speaker 1: a parent and I watch this and I feel the 481 00:23:40,085 --> 00:23:42,885 Speaker 1: defense mechanism coming up, and I start to feel the 482 00:23:42,925 --> 00:23:48,445 Speaker 1: feelings of in us guilty? What are therapists telling parents? 483 00:23:48,925 --> 00:23:51,165 Speaker 3: Yeah, so this friend who texted me saying that she 484 00:23:51,245 --> 00:23:56,045 Speaker 3: feels bad actually asked around, and she asked an expert 485 00:23:56,045 --> 00:23:58,845 Speaker 3: who was a therapist, why she shouldn't feel bad about it. 486 00:23:59,045 --> 00:24:02,845 Speaker 3: And this therapist said, each episode shows eight minutes of 487 00:24:02,885 --> 00:24:06,805 Speaker 3: their day. Anyone can pareent enthusiastically for eight minutes a day. 488 00:24:07,205 --> 00:24:10,005 Speaker 3: For all we know, Bandit spends four hours each day 489 00:24:10,005 --> 00:24:12,645 Speaker 3: on the care watching the footy and drinking, and that 490 00:24:12,685 --> 00:24:14,165 Speaker 3: does actually make me feel better. 491 00:24:14,645 --> 00:24:16,484 Speaker 4: We can do eight minutes. We can do eight minutes. 492 00:24:17,045 --> 00:24:19,885 Speaker 1: Bend needs to go to work, Guys, bend It actually 493 00:24:19,925 --> 00:24:21,645 Speaker 1: needs to go and do some work. Like, how are 494 00:24:21,685 --> 00:24:23,645 Speaker 1: they affording the three bedroom house in the cul de 495 00:24:23,765 --> 00:24:26,044 Speaker 1: sac Stacy? 496 00:24:26,725 --> 00:24:28,405 Speaker 4: Yes, Mons, you know you're. 497 00:24:28,245 --> 00:24:29,765 Speaker 1: Like, we're getting to know each other. We don't really 498 00:24:29,765 --> 00:24:32,325 Speaker 1: know each other that well. Yeah, I deep dived on you. 499 00:24:32,405 --> 00:24:35,365 Speaker 1: I googled your name and I started reading your work. 500 00:24:35,645 --> 00:24:38,325 Speaker 1: Turns out used to be the editor of Girlfriend magazine. 501 00:24:38,445 --> 00:24:41,285 Speaker 4: Yes, that was my dream job. It was so great. 502 00:24:41,365 --> 00:24:44,445 Speaker 1: Apart from being here, of course, that's very cool. But 503 00:24:44,484 --> 00:24:46,725 Speaker 1: the other thing that worried me was I think I've 504 00:24:46,765 --> 00:24:48,565 Speaker 1: said some things to you that I wish I could 505 00:24:48,605 --> 00:24:51,205 Speaker 1: take back now, So I'm just confessing my sins to you. 506 00:24:51,405 --> 00:24:52,085 Speaker 4: What did you do? 507 00:24:52,885 --> 00:24:54,925 Speaker 1: I described you as a mother of one and I 508 00:24:55,045 --> 00:24:57,605 Speaker 1: may have at some point in our conversations said to you, 509 00:24:58,085 --> 00:24:59,645 Speaker 1: are you one and done? Yeah? 510 00:24:59,725 --> 00:25:03,445 Speaker 3: I'm so glad you raise this mons because I feel 511 00:25:03,445 --> 00:25:05,764 Speaker 3: like I've made the same faux pat with Stacy. I 512 00:25:05,805 --> 00:25:07,804 Speaker 3: was allerted to this because there was an article on 513 00:25:07,845 --> 00:25:11,965 Speaker 3: folk dot com by Liz Hammond recently, and she makes 514 00:25:12,045 --> 00:25:15,844 Speaker 3: the plea that we stop using that phrase one and 515 00:25:15,885 --> 00:25:18,445 Speaker 3: done to describe families with one child. I didn't even 516 00:25:18,525 --> 00:25:20,605 Speaker 3: know that I shouldn't be using it. Let me explain 517 00:25:20,685 --> 00:25:22,925 Speaker 3: why she said we shouldn't be using it. She has 518 00:25:23,045 --> 00:25:25,484 Speaker 3: one five year old son, she's pretty sure she doesn't 519 00:25:25,484 --> 00:25:28,085 Speaker 3: want more children, and she says that one and done 520 00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:31,605 Speaker 3: fails to capture the complexity of raising a child today 521 00:25:31,765 --> 00:25:35,645 Speaker 3: because her responsibilities as a parent are not done after 522 00:25:35,685 --> 00:25:39,044 Speaker 3: giving birth. Stacy, are we doing it all wrong? And 523 00:25:39,085 --> 00:25:40,925 Speaker 3: why do you have a problem with one and done? 524 00:25:40,965 --> 00:25:42,484 Speaker 4: Well, you can both stop panicking. 525 00:25:42,725 --> 00:25:45,445 Speaker 2: It's okay because I have referred to myself as one 526 00:25:45,484 --> 00:25:48,005 Speaker 2: and done until I read this article as well, so 527 00:25:48,445 --> 00:25:49,565 Speaker 2: it's absolutely fine. 528 00:25:49,565 --> 00:25:51,605 Speaker 4: At least to me. It hasn't bothered me. 529 00:25:51,645 --> 00:25:54,485 Speaker 2: But I must admit that that Vogue article did make 530 00:25:54,525 --> 00:25:57,005 Speaker 2: me rethink the term, because I thought it was really 531 00:25:57,005 --> 00:26:00,365 Speaker 2: interesting that she argued that when you say you're one 532 00:26:00,405 --> 00:26:02,284 Speaker 2: and done, it makes it sound like, you know, you 533 00:26:02,325 --> 00:26:03,165 Speaker 2: popped out a kid. 534 00:26:03,405 --> 00:26:04,725 Speaker 4: You've done the hard part. 535 00:26:04,565 --> 00:26:06,725 Speaker 2: And now it's just going to be easy, and it's 536 00:26:06,725 --> 00:26:08,844 Speaker 2: so much easier than listen not to, is it not? 537 00:26:09,085 --> 00:26:09,725 Speaker 4: It's so not. 538 00:26:10,365 --> 00:26:14,285 Speaker 2: I I was on another podcast called The Kids or 539 00:26:14,325 --> 00:26:17,564 Speaker 2: Trial Free Podcasts, and Kelty, the host asked me this 540 00:26:17,685 --> 00:26:19,525 Speaker 2: question as well, because she said a lot of people 541 00:26:19,565 --> 00:26:22,885 Speaker 2: who are considering whether to have children at all often 542 00:26:22,925 --> 00:26:25,805 Speaker 2: will say, well, I'll just have one, as if it's 543 00:26:25,885 --> 00:26:28,285 Speaker 2: a middle ground. And she said, what is your take. 544 00:26:28,525 --> 00:26:30,925 Speaker 2: Do you feel like having one is closer to having 545 00:26:30,925 --> 00:26:33,764 Speaker 2: two or closer to having none? And I said, it 546 00:26:33,845 --> 00:26:37,685 Speaker 2: is so much closer to having two than to having none, 547 00:26:37,725 --> 00:26:42,205 Speaker 2: Like my life is unrecognizable from before having my child. 548 00:26:42,725 --> 00:26:46,004 Speaker 2: And so I think there's this understanding that it's like 549 00:26:46,205 --> 00:26:48,845 Speaker 2: parenting light. You know that you just got the easy 550 00:26:48,885 --> 00:26:51,525 Speaker 2: way out of doing it, but you're still getting all 551 00:26:51,525 --> 00:26:53,525 Speaker 2: the emotions and all the stress and all the herd 552 00:26:53,565 --> 00:26:56,005 Speaker 2: outside your body and stressing about whether your child will 553 00:26:56,005 --> 00:26:58,685 Speaker 2: turn out okay. And then you're layering on all these 554 00:26:58,685 --> 00:27:02,085 Speaker 2: assumptions that people have about only children, that they might 555 00:27:02,165 --> 00:27:04,725 Speaker 2: be selfish, or they might be weird, or they won't 556 00:27:04,725 --> 00:27:06,965 Speaker 2: know how to share with other people. There's so many 557 00:27:06,965 --> 00:27:09,085 Speaker 2: things that people kind of put on you. 558 00:27:09,205 --> 00:27:11,245 Speaker 3: Well, you said in your article called for Mamma Mia 559 00:27:11,365 --> 00:27:13,165 Speaker 3: that you get these comments from. 560 00:27:13,085 --> 00:27:15,325 Speaker 4: Yeah to your face, Yeah, yeah, definitely. 561 00:27:15,405 --> 00:27:17,565 Speaker 2: And I think, just as a PSA for people who 562 00:27:17,565 --> 00:27:19,205 Speaker 2: want to say that, I know it's probably out of 563 00:27:19,285 --> 00:27:22,565 Speaker 2: genuine curiosity, but people with one kid are thinking about 564 00:27:22,565 --> 00:27:25,085 Speaker 2: it a lot like that is something that plays on 565 00:27:25,125 --> 00:27:28,165 Speaker 2: your mind A ton is are you doing the wrong thing? 566 00:27:28,605 --> 00:27:30,965 Speaker 2: But I think your reason for having a second can't 567 00:27:30,965 --> 00:27:34,045 Speaker 2: be out of service to your child. I think now 568 00:27:34,245 --> 00:27:38,205 Speaker 2: women can and all couples can be thinking about what 569 00:27:38,484 --> 00:27:40,845 Speaker 2: is best for them as a parent and what will 570 00:27:40,845 --> 00:27:43,045 Speaker 2: mean that they can give their child the best life, 571 00:27:43,045 --> 00:27:46,685 Speaker 2: whether that's for financial reasons, whether that's for mental health reasons, 572 00:27:46,685 --> 00:27:49,845 Speaker 2: whether it's just that you don't feel the strong urge. 573 00:27:49,885 --> 00:27:52,845 Speaker 2: Any of those are enough, I think, and so we 574 00:27:52,965 --> 00:27:54,885 Speaker 2: probably can stop calling it that. 575 00:27:55,285 --> 00:27:57,685 Speaker 1: Stacy. This article that you wrote, and we will link 576 00:27:57,725 --> 00:28:00,004 Speaker 1: to it in the show notes because I want everyone 577 00:28:00,045 --> 00:28:02,165 Speaker 1: to read it. I think everyone should read it, no 578 00:28:02,205 --> 00:28:05,645 Speaker 1: matter how many kids you have. It was beautiful, it 579 00:28:05,765 --> 00:28:11,085 Speaker 1: was smart. It's important because language is everything. And what 580 00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:13,725 Speaker 1: you highlighted in that article is how many times people 581 00:28:13,805 --> 00:28:16,764 Speaker 1: will come to you and weigh in on your reproductive choices. 582 00:28:17,085 --> 00:28:19,445 Speaker 1: When are you having a second? Are you going to 583 00:28:19,484 --> 00:28:23,125 Speaker 1: give them a sibling? And it just feels so I 584 00:28:23,165 --> 00:28:27,325 Speaker 1: know it's well intentioned, but it does kind of feel 585 00:28:27,405 --> 00:28:31,845 Speaker 1: very dated to weigh in on someone else's choice of family. 586 00:28:31,925 --> 00:28:34,405 Speaker 1: It's like we don't say any more like oh, the 587 00:28:34,445 --> 00:28:36,764 Speaker 1: clock's ticking, and we don't say like when are you 588 00:28:36,765 --> 00:28:39,085 Speaker 1: going to start a family? Because families come in all 589 00:28:39,085 --> 00:28:43,365 Speaker 1: shapes and sizes, So we've mostly retired those phrases because 590 00:28:43,445 --> 00:28:45,645 Speaker 1: it feels like, you know, they were never okay in 591 00:28:45,685 --> 00:28:48,885 Speaker 1: the first place. I do feel like the questions around 592 00:28:49,165 --> 00:28:51,285 Speaker 1: are you having another when are you having another one? 593 00:28:51,565 --> 00:28:53,045 Speaker 1: Are you going to give them a sister or brother? 594 00:28:53,645 --> 00:28:55,645 Speaker 1: They need to be retired, they should be in the 595 00:28:55,645 --> 00:28:56,205 Speaker 1: same bucket. 596 00:28:56,365 --> 00:28:59,165 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely. And I think, like I would consider myself 597 00:28:59,205 --> 00:29:01,845 Speaker 2: a pretty agreeable person. I know Amelia said yesterday she 598 00:29:01,845 --> 00:29:04,285 Speaker 2: can't imagine me being bothered by anything, like I think 599 00:29:04,285 --> 00:29:06,844 Speaker 2: I come across and as there was one thing that 600 00:29:06,885 --> 00:29:09,165 Speaker 2: bothered you, the people say, and there is one thing 601 00:29:09,205 --> 00:29:11,765 Speaker 2: that bothers me, And it's when people say, when are 602 00:29:11,765 --> 00:29:15,125 Speaker 2: you having another? Not are you thinking about having another? 603 00:29:15,205 --> 00:29:18,645 Speaker 2: Because I understand the genuine curiosity, too's the norm, So 604 00:29:18,725 --> 00:29:21,725 Speaker 2: I understand people assuming that if you've had one, you 605 00:29:21,805 --> 00:29:24,805 Speaker 2: probably do want to. So I love talking about it 606 00:29:24,805 --> 00:29:28,085 Speaker 2: to people, but it's the when that really annoys me 607 00:29:28,125 --> 00:29:31,525 Speaker 2: because I think it undermines what people go through to 608 00:29:31,565 --> 00:29:33,325 Speaker 2: even have a child in the first place, and what 609 00:29:33,405 --> 00:29:35,725 Speaker 2: I went through to have my child in the first place. 610 00:29:36,165 --> 00:29:38,725 Speaker 2: For many people, it's not a choice, and having one 611 00:29:38,885 --> 00:29:41,125 Speaker 2: might not be what they want. For me, it is, 612 00:29:41,165 --> 00:29:43,725 Speaker 2: but for some people that's just how their family dynamic 613 00:29:43,765 --> 00:29:46,685 Speaker 2: pans out. So I think there's that, and it also 614 00:29:47,285 --> 00:29:51,085 Speaker 2: layers the expectation on women that we're somehow selfish or 615 00:29:51,125 --> 00:29:53,125 Speaker 2: prioritizing our own lives too much. 616 00:29:53,645 --> 00:29:56,205 Speaker 1: Stacy, you just said it in your own answer. Then 617 00:29:56,325 --> 00:29:59,005 Speaker 1: you just said two is the norm, and that's the 618 00:29:59,085 --> 00:30:01,165 Speaker 1: kind of thinking that we need to stop. Yeah, that's 619 00:30:01,165 --> 00:30:04,645 Speaker 1: the retoric. That's not helpful. It's not the norm. There 620 00:30:04,805 --> 00:30:08,725 Speaker 1: is no norm. Families are all shaped, sizes, amount of people, 621 00:30:09,245 --> 00:30:10,165 Speaker 1: there is no normal. 622 00:30:10,445 --> 00:30:13,365 Speaker 3: Also, people are having fewer children. It's becoming the norm. 623 00:30:13,765 --> 00:30:16,125 Speaker 3: You quoted this in the article. But the Australian Bureau 624 00:30:16,125 --> 00:30:20,165 Speaker 3: Statistics has new numbers on this and Australian families are 625 00:30:20,205 --> 00:30:22,565 Speaker 3: going to have an average of one point six babies 626 00:30:22,645 --> 00:30:24,805 Speaker 3: over the next two years. That's down from two point three. 627 00:30:25,005 --> 00:30:26,565 Speaker 3: So this is the new norm. 628 00:30:26,645 --> 00:30:27,205 Speaker 4: Yeah, it is. 629 00:30:27,285 --> 00:30:29,805 Speaker 2: And I think only just have a pr problem really 630 00:30:30,085 --> 00:30:33,485 Speaker 2: because it all stems from research that happened in the 631 00:30:33,565 --> 00:30:37,765 Speaker 2: eighteen hundreds around that only children were a disease was 632 00:30:37,805 --> 00:30:41,005 Speaker 2: what they were called. And so I like, very selfishly 633 00:30:41,045 --> 00:30:44,005 Speaker 2: for my wanting my own reassurance, I interviewed an expert 634 00:30:44,085 --> 00:30:46,805 Speaker 2: who's done a lot of research on only children because 635 00:30:46,845 --> 00:30:50,285 Speaker 2: she has one child as well, doctor Razina McAlpine. So 636 00:30:50,325 --> 00:30:52,925 Speaker 2: she's got a master's in higher education, done so much 637 00:30:52,965 --> 00:30:56,085 Speaker 2: research in this area, and research she found showed that 638 00:30:56,205 --> 00:30:59,485 Speaker 2: only borns generally do equally as well as first borns 639 00:30:59,725 --> 00:31:03,045 Speaker 2: and children in two child families, and they surpassed children 640 00:31:03,085 --> 00:31:09,645 Speaker 2: from larger families across all of the measures of academic achievement, intelligence, sociability, character, 641 00:31:09,765 --> 00:31:11,285 Speaker 2: and child parent relationship. 642 00:31:11,525 --> 00:31:14,085 Speaker 1: So all the myths around they will grow up lonely, 643 00:31:14,245 --> 00:31:15,205 Speaker 1: they don't hold up. 644 00:31:15,645 --> 00:31:18,045 Speaker 2: No, they don't hold up. They have the same outcomes 645 00:31:18,045 --> 00:31:21,605 Speaker 2: as children into child households. Thank God for me. 646 00:31:22,365 --> 00:31:24,685 Speaker 1: Okay, to wrap up today's show, my favorite bit. We 647 00:31:24,805 --> 00:31:28,325 Speaker 1: share the things that we are loving, sick, the things 648 00:31:28,325 --> 00:31:30,245 Speaker 1: that we might text to our friends, put in the 649 00:31:30,325 --> 00:31:35,405 Speaker 1: mum group chat, whatever it is. It's recommendations, Stacy, what 650 00:31:35,485 --> 00:31:37,045 Speaker 1: do you got so mine? 651 00:31:37,045 --> 00:31:37,445 Speaker 4: This week? 652 00:31:37,525 --> 00:31:39,645 Speaker 2: Is a sleep story that doesn't make me want to 653 00:31:39,685 --> 00:31:42,405 Speaker 2: fall asleep, although I have fallen asleep in my daughter's 654 00:31:42,445 --> 00:31:43,965 Speaker 2: bed a lot of times. 655 00:31:44,365 --> 00:31:46,765 Speaker 1: Hang on, that's the point. Don't you want them to 656 00:31:46,805 --> 00:31:47,405 Speaker 1: be sleepy? 657 00:31:47,565 --> 00:31:50,005 Speaker 2: I want them to be sleepy. I don't want to 658 00:31:50,005 --> 00:31:52,125 Speaker 2: be listening to it being tortured by the sound. And 659 00:31:52,165 --> 00:31:55,325 Speaker 2: there are a few that genuinely are so painful to 660 00:31:55,365 --> 00:31:57,605 Speaker 2: listen to, even for a couple of minutes. But on 661 00:31:57,685 --> 00:32:01,805 Speaker 2: Spotify it's free. This series called Calm Kids Bedtime Stories, 662 00:32:02,045 --> 00:32:04,925 Speaker 2: and there's one called Hector's Exploding Head, which my daughter 663 00:32:04,965 --> 00:32:07,965 Speaker 2: and I really love. So it's about a kid who 664 00:32:08,045 --> 00:32:10,725 Speaker 2: forgets his mum's birthday and forgets his homework and just 665 00:32:10,805 --> 00:32:13,645 Speaker 2: generally hopeless, like all kids around that age can be 666 00:32:13,725 --> 00:32:16,205 Speaker 2: with that stuff, and then someone visits the school that 667 00:32:16,325 --> 00:32:19,245 Speaker 2: teaches them about breathing to calm themselves down and keep 668 00:32:19,285 --> 00:32:20,605 Speaker 2: their head connected to. 669 00:32:20,605 --> 00:32:23,645 Speaker 4: Their neck basically so their head doesn't explode. I just 670 00:32:23,725 --> 00:32:24,485 Speaker 4: love listening to it. 671 00:32:24,525 --> 00:32:26,605 Speaker 2: I've probably listened to it a hundred times and I'm 672 00:32:26,605 --> 00:32:29,125 Speaker 2: not sick of it yet. My daughter's probably half listened 673 00:32:29,125 --> 00:32:31,765 Speaker 2: to it about one hundred times because thankfully she dozes off. 674 00:32:32,045 --> 00:32:36,405 Speaker 1: So that's my recommendation called Hector's Exploding Hector's. 675 00:32:35,965 --> 00:32:37,685 Speaker 4: Exploding Head, and it's just fun to say. 676 00:32:38,045 --> 00:32:42,285 Speaker 3: Well, I wanted to talk about playdate anxiety because I 677 00:32:42,405 --> 00:32:46,605 Speaker 3: know I should be hosting playdates, but I hosted one 678 00:32:47,565 --> 00:32:49,885 Speaker 3: a couple of years ago that i'm still recovering from. 679 00:32:50,125 --> 00:32:52,645 Speaker 3: Thought the kids were playing so nicely together because we 680 00:32:52,645 --> 00:32:55,485 Speaker 3: didn't hear from them, and then basically walked into the 681 00:32:55,525 --> 00:32:57,885 Speaker 3: room they were playing in and it seriously looked like 682 00:32:57,885 --> 00:33:01,365 Speaker 3: the Rolling Stones had been there for seven days having 683 00:33:01,405 --> 00:33:05,485 Speaker 3: a party because everything was everywhere, and it just really 684 00:33:05,485 --> 00:33:08,645 Speaker 3: triggered my anxiety. I can't deal with stress or mess, 685 00:33:08,685 --> 00:33:11,965 Speaker 3: particularly living in a two bedroom of it really gets 686 00:33:12,005 --> 00:33:12,245 Speaker 3: to me. 687 00:33:12,605 --> 00:33:13,965 Speaker 1: Isn't that the fun of the playdate? 688 00:33:14,085 --> 00:33:15,725 Speaker 3: No, it's not the fun of the play date. Months 689 00:33:15,725 --> 00:33:18,765 Speaker 3: I can tell that we're different people. So I needed 690 00:33:18,765 --> 00:33:22,165 Speaker 3: to find something to have the children do that did 691 00:33:22,205 --> 00:33:25,725 Speaker 3: not result in mess. And I went to a playdate 692 00:33:25,725 --> 00:33:28,125 Speaker 3: at someone else's place on the weekend and she had 693 00:33:28,125 --> 00:33:30,805 Speaker 3: the most brilliant idea which I'm going to steal, which 694 00:33:30,845 --> 00:33:34,965 Speaker 3: is that the girls decorated water bottles together. And I 695 00:33:35,045 --> 00:33:37,925 Speaker 3: love this because it's not just like more useless plastic. 696 00:33:38,005 --> 00:33:41,045 Speaker 3: It's actually something they need. As we know, water bottles 697 00:33:41,085 --> 00:33:44,045 Speaker 3: disappear to the great water bottle black hole in the 698 00:33:44,045 --> 00:33:46,965 Speaker 3: sky and you don't know why or where. With the 699 00:33:47,005 --> 00:33:50,405 Speaker 3: socks with the one sock, not both socks, just one sock. 700 00:33:50,925 --> 00:33:53,285 Speaker 3: And so now she has a water bottle that she's 701 00:33:53,365 --> 00:33:56,165 Speaker 3: very proud of. The girls spent a good hour decorating 702 00:33:56,165 --> 00:33:58,365 Speaker 3: the water bottles together, and I just thought it was 703 00:33:58,445 --> 00:34:02,565 Speaker 3: a brilliant, very tidy activity for a playdate. And I 704 00:34:02,605 --> 00:34:06,125 Speaker 3: will unpack my neurosies about mess at a later time, 705 00:34:06,285 --> 00:34:09,205 Speaker 3: perhaps not on a podcast. Anyway, these water bottles, you 706 00:34:09,245 --> 00:34:12,004 Speaker 3: can get the kits that came. They're about thirty dollars each. 707 00:34:12,205 --> 00:34:15,364 Speaker 3: And I'm going to try that out myself next time 708 00:34:15,444 --> 00:34:17,404 Speaker 3: I host a play date. Next time I summon the 709 00:34:17,444 --> 00:34:18,764 Speaker 3: courage to host a play date. 710 00:34:18,964 --> 00:34:20,884 Speaker 1: Okay, So it wasn't like build your own like the 711 00:34:20,964 --> 00:34:23,364 Speaker 1: mom didn't gather all the separate bits and do it. 712 00:34:23,364 --> 00:34:24,564 Speaker 1: It's already done for us. 713 00:34:24,805 --> 00:34:27,205 Speaker 3: Oh gosh, no, no, yeah, it was a kit with 714 00:34:27,325 --> 00:34:30,604 Speaker 3: stickers and righty things, and yeah it was great. 715 00:34:30,964 --> 00:34:34,124 Speaker 1: Okay, team, I have the ultimate test of grit for 716 00:34:34,205 --> 00:34:36,084 Speaker 1: your kids. You know, we're always looking of ways to 717 00:34:36,165 --> 00:34:39,844 Speaker 1: increase resilience in our children. I've got a screen endurance 718 00:34:39,924 --> 00:34:41,765 Speaker 1: test that's going to break them. 719 00:34:43,444 --> 00:34:44,325 Speaker 4: Sounds fine. 720 00:34:45,004 --> 00:34:47,644 Speaker 1: You sit down to watch a movie with them. You 721 00:34:47,725 --> 00:34:54,724 Speaker 1: select Disney, then choose Mary Poppins. Say nothing, and what 722 00:34:54,844 --> 00:34:59,724 Speaker 1: will happen next will determine your kid's level of resilience 723 00:35:00,205 --> 00:35:06,364 Speaker 1: because the intro Mary Poppins is lacially slow. There's three 724 00:35:06,444 --> 00:35:10,285 Speaker 1: minutes and six seconds before anything happens on the screens, 725 00:35:10,524 --> 00:35:14,685 Speaker 1: just text and very slow Edwardian sort of music. I 726 00:35:14,765 --> 00:35:18,404 Speaker 1: aged thirty years before Mary flies out. Of the fucking sky. 727 00:35:18,524 --> 00:35:21,804 Speaker 1: I swear to god, it's so sore. My kids could 728 00:35:21,805 --> 00:35:25,484 Speaker 1: not handle it, and I was loving it. I just 729 00:35:25,524 --> 00:35:29,125 Speaker 1: said nothing, and they were like, mom, mom, working themselves 730 00:35:29,125 --> 00:35:31,524 Speaker 1: into the biggest lather. Why is nothing happening? What are 731 00:35:31,564 --> 00:35:33,884 Speaker 1: these words on the screen. I loved it for them. 732 00:35:34,364 --> 00:35:37,884 Speaker 1: I think it's the ultimate endurance test for the screen generation. 733 00:35:38,444 --> 00:35:39,604 Speaker 1: I highly recommend it. 734 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:42,364 Speaker 3: That is deranged and I love it. I want to 735 00:35:42,404 --> 00:35:45,484 Speaker 3: add a further deranged recommendation for that movie, which is 736 00:35:45,604 --> 00:35:50,924 Speaker 3: I find the lead actor very attractive. I enjoyed watching it. 737 00:35:51,004 --> 00:35:52,124 Speaker 3: He's very attractive. 738 00:35:52,165 --> 00:35:56,484 Speaker 2: Dick Vandyke was back in the ninety nine and he's 739 00:35:56,604 --> 00:35:59,245 Speaker 2: dancing and he's still living a great life. 740 00:35:59,364 --> 00:36:01,085 Speaker 4: And I just love Dick Van Dyke. 741 00:36:01,685 --> 00:36:03,884 Speaker 1: No is he the one that could start with the 742 00:36:03,924 --> 00:36:07,605 Speaker 1: harmonica and no. 743 00:36:07,044 --> 00:36:09,844 Speaker 4: Chimney sweet mons. I guess I'm purple heart for Dick 744 00:36:09,924 --> 00:36:11,444 Speaker 4: van dye. Yeah, I think you are. 745 00:36:11,765 --> 00:36:14,124 Speaker 1: I think what's refreshing about Dick Van Dyke is his 746 00:36:14,285 --> 00:36:16,805 Speaker 1: bad teeth, Like how you never see bad teeth on 747 00:36:16,844 --> 00:36:19,084 Speaker 1: screens anymore? And I saw his teeth and I was like, Oh, 748 00:36:19,125 --> 00:36:21,044 Speaker 1: that's so nice that someone doesn't have a year. 749 00:36:21,125 --> 00:36:23,245 Speaker 3: That is so cruel and such a bad kind of 750 00:36:23,285 --> 00:36:24,685 Speaker 3: compliment to a screen merchend. 751 00:36:25,285 --> 00:36:29,924 Speaker 1: I'm not into him. I am into mister Banks how 752 00:36:29,964 --> 00:36:32,364 Speaker 1: he walks in at the start, He's like, my home 753 00:36:32,844 --> 00:36:36,124 Speaker 1: is run like a thing. Like he's just so like 754 00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:38,924 Speaker 1: precise about everything. I love that for him. 755 00:36:39,004 --> 00:36:42,525 Speaker 2: So what we're saying basically, there's like two male fox 756 00:36:42,645 --> 00:36:44,004 Speaker 2: leads to choose between. 757 00:36:44,165 --> 00:36:47,325 Speaker 4: Yeah, the moms pick your poison and torture your kids. 758 00:36:47,364 --> 00:36:48,205 Speaker 4: It sounds great. 759 00:36:50,964 --> 00:36:52,884 Speaker 1: All right, that's all we have time for on Parenting 760 00:36:52,884 --> 00:36:54,444 Speaker 1: out Loud today. Thanks for hanging out. 761 00:36:54,725 --> 00:36:54,884 Speaker 3: Hey. 762 00:36:54,924 --> 00:36:56,684 Speaker 1: I want to shout out to the out louders who 763 00:36:56,765 --> 00:36:59,484 Speaker 1: said we should make this show a real thing, Like 764 00:36:59,484 --> 00:37:01,725 Speaker 1: you're the reason where he's doing this, so thank you 765 00:37:01,765 --> 00:37:05,724 Speaker 1: for getting around it. Mainly Amelia, it's people want you Amelia, 766 00:37:05,805 --> 00:37:07,084 Speaker 1: so Stacy and I. 767 00:37:07,165 --> 00:37:11,645 Speaker 2: I'm choosing don't ever use the brain oji when talking 768 00:37:11,685 --> 00:37:12,124 Speaker 2: about me. 769 00:37:12,205 --> 00:37:12,645 Speaker 3: Okay. 770 00:37:13,844 --> 00:37:17,805 Speaker 1: Special mentions to Sally who said parenting podcasts of boring, 771 00:37:17,964 --> 00:37:19,045 Speaker 1: except this one's great. 772 00:37:19,285 --> 00:37:20,165 Speaker 4: We love you, Sally. 773 00:37:20,524 --> 00:37:23,484 Speaker 1: Sophie said anything with Amelia, I'm tuning in. 774 00:37:24,084 --> 00:37:26,605 Speaker 4: There's a lot of that, Sophie. I'm offended. 775 00:37:27,604 --> 00:37:31,124 Speaker 1: I know, I know, we're just the hangers on. And Myth, 776 00:37:31,165 --> 00:37:33,444 Speaker 1: who said I don't even have kids and I never 777 00:37:33,444 --> 00:37:36,644 Speaker 1: miss an episode, put that on the billboard and then 778 00:37:36,685 --> 00:37:41,085 Speaker 1: she put a purple heart emoji. Eh, Myth, we're horny 779 00:37:41,165 --> 00:37:45,524 Speaker 1: for you two if you'd loved this episode. The best 780 00:37:45,564 --> 00:37:48,245 Speaker 1: way to help us in these really early days is 781 00:37:48,404 --> 00:37:51,364 Speaker 1: just to do one thing. It's search for Parenting out 782 00:37:51,404 --> 00:37:54,164 Speaker 1: Loud in your podcast app, find the show, and then 783 00:37:54,245 --> 00:37:57,325 Speaker 1: hit follow. So it's free to do it. But it's 784 00:37:57,364 --> 00:38:00,644 Speaker 1: like the Instagram algorithm, kind of equivalent of a love heart, 785 00:38:00,844 --> 00:38:04,044 Speaker 1: where if you do it, it pushes the show in 786 00:38:04,125 --> 00:38:07,164 Speaker 1: the algorithm, Like the algorithm goes, oh, like shit, there's 787 00:38:07,205 --> 00:38:08,844 Speaker 1: all these people that are liking this one, so it 788 00:38:09,044 --> 00:38:11,524 Speaker 1: surfaces it to more all so more people see it 789 00:38:11,564 --> 00:38:13,884 Speaker 1: and are like, oh, what's this? Oh merely a lester? 790 00:38:14,004 --> 00:38:19,964 Speaker 1: Yes please, you can't dyke discussion so topical. But if 791 00:38:19,964 --> 00:38:22,884 Speaker 1: all that sounds too hard, that's fine, no pressure. Just 792 00:38:23,044 --> 00:38:26,204 Speaker 1: come back next Saturday and hang out again. It's been great, 793 00:38:26,285 --> 00:38:28,285 Speaker 1: so have a great week and we'll talk to you then. 794 00:38:28,444 --> 00:38:28,804 Speaker 1: By bye.