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Speaker 1: You're listening to Amma Mia podcast.

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Speaker 2: Mamma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters

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Speaker 2: that this podcast is recorded on.

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Speaker 3: Hello and welcome to Mamma Mia out Loud. It's what

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Speaker 3: women are actually talking about on Friday, the third of October.

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Speaker 3: I'm Holly Wainwright, I'm Jesse Stephen, I'm m vern m

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Speaker 3: And here's what's on our agenda for today. There's a

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Speaker 3: new etiquette guide that is supposedly for modern gentlemen. But

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Speaker 3: some of it is very useful, some of it is

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Speaker 3: a bit annoying, and some of it borders on the problematic.

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Speaker 3: We unpack.

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Speaker 2: Plus gen z are having sex in public places and

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Speaker 2: they're not having a good time with it.

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Speaker 3: They're struggling.

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Speaker 1: And today we've got for you some of our favorite

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Speaker 1: recommendations of the year that we have waited little months

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Speaker 1: to tell you all about.

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Speaker 4: But first, do you need an invisible day? If you

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Speaker 4: if you're feeling anxious.

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Speaker 1: Or angry, or disconnected or quite overwhelmed by the news.

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Speaker 1: A therapist named Jennifer Chaikin says, you need a day

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Speaker 1: to totally disappear.

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Speaker 4: From public life. So what are the rules of.

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Speaker 1: An invisible day? Well, you've got to put it in

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Speaker 1: your calendar. You've got to schedule your invisible day. So

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Speaker 1: let's say we go Sunday, it's going to be my

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Speaker 1: invisible day. You have to tell people that you're having one,

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Speaker 1: because what you don't want is for the people you

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Speaker 1: would ordinarily be in contact with to panic and call

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Speaker 1: the police, and then the police ruin your invisible day.

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Speaker 1: So you've got to say, I'm not gonna be answering

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Speaker 1: my phone, hold on, hold on, holda.

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Speaker 3: So the premise of this is that on a normal

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Speaker 3: Sunday you would be in contact with loads of people.

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Speaker 3: So therefore, if you decide to not be on your

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Speaker 3: phone that day, a lot of people will notice.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and imagine you are just like pulling out the

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Speaker 1: metaphorical plug.

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Speaker 4: And also you might.

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Speaker 1: Need to say to your partner, maybe you've got children.

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Speaker 1: It's very hard to be invisible when you have children around,

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Speaker 1: so you might have to say, hey, I'm going invisible

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Speaker 1: on Sunday.

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Speaker 4: You sought the kids.

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Speaker 3: Oh, so it's in real life invisible as well as

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Speaker 3: like digitally invisible.

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Speaker 4: Holly, So these see.

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Speaker 3: I'm midlife, I'm quite good at being invisible already.

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Speaker 1: Well, you have to work out what would feel good

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Speaker 1: for you. So this is part of your planning. What

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Speaker 1: does your invisible day look like? Maybe you can go

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Speaker 1: for a walk, you can eat whatever you want, you

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Speaker 1: can do some painting, you can watch Netflix in bed.

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Speaker 4: Whatever.

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Speaker 1: You're invisible, so there's no judgment. You get to rest,

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Speaker 1: you get to sleep. But you need to just not

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Speaker 1: communicate with anyone. That means no phone, it means no email,

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Speaker 1: it means no social media, and no checking the news.

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Speaker 1: And it's about listening to no one's needs except your own.

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Speaker 1: So like you are, just imagine you've got your Harry

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Speaker 1: Potter invisibility cloak and you're just hiding.

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Speaker 4: What do we think, m are you into an invisible day?

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Speaker 2: I feel like, because I live alone, it's quite easy

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Speaker 2: for me to have invisible days on weekends because I

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Speaker 2: just stay inside and no one's there anyway. I think

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Speaker 2: what will be really hard for me is the phone aspect,

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Speaker 2: not having my phone on and having to tell like

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Speaker 2: my parents and my family and friends, Hey, I'm going

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Speaker 2: to have an invisible day. But I also be offended

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Speaker 2: if I don't tell anyone and I turn my phone off,

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Speaker 2: then turn my phone on the next day and I

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Speaker 2: have no notifications.

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Speaker 4: That's so true.

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Speaker 1: Actually, I am that I have this feeling when I'm

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Speaker 1: starting to feel very, very tired and probably a bit

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Speaker 1: burnt out, where I fantasize about laying on my bedroom floor,

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Speaker 1: head down, face first, just like maybe under my bed,

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Speaker 1: and just disappearing a bit. And I think that what

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Speaker 1: I am craving in that moment, it's like a visceral

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Speaker 1: craving of an invisible day. And I think that the

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Speaker 1: phone element is very telling that often when we try

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Speaker 1: and unplug, we're still just like communicating.

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Speaker 3: I know, I love being visible. I've talked about before

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Speaker 3: how one of the reasons why I'm very resistant to

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Speaker 3: the idea of being tracked, you know, like being on

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Speaker 3: your partner's fine mine or whatever is there's something that

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Speaker 3: sometimes I need to do where I am just invisible,

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Speaker 3: like what I'm eating, where I'm going, where I'm spending

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Speaker 3: my time, like I just it's nobody's business, and it's

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Speaker 3: like for me, that's very recharging. And I do do

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Speaker 3: that quite often. I mean obviously not with family and stuff,

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Speaker 3: like my house is full of people, but if I

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Speaker 3: do get a chance, let's say Brent's taking the kids

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Speaker 3: away for a couple of days. Yeah, going invisible for

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Speaker 3: a weekend is not hard for me, not hard for

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Speaker 3: me at all, Like I would just be like, not

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Speaker 3: really answering the group chats.

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Speaker 2: But doesn't the idea of an invisible day for both

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Speaker 2: of you, because both of your jobs are so reliant

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Speaker 2: on being across the news cycle. If you go on

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Speaker 2: visible for a day, doesn't that give you more work

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Speaker 2: the next day?

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Speaker 3: But what you do is, well, this is what I do.

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Speaker 3: Jensey can tell us. What she does is say I

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Speaker 3: want a Sunday where I basically do want to be

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Speaker 3: offline as much as I can. I know that that

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Speaker 3: night I'm going to need to go online and scour

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Speaker 3: and check and put some ideas in and just make

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Speaker 3: sure nothing terrible has happened. But I can be offline

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Speaker 3: for a few hours like it's okay and it doesn't

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Speaker 3: freak you out, not at all. Like if something really

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Speaker 3: big happens, which often it doesn't, like it will find

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Speaker 3: its way to you. I would not been able to

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Speaker 3: do this job for as long as I've done it

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Speaker 3: if I didn't feel like I could have a few

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Speaker 3: hours away from it. Sometimes And I.

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Speaker 1: Think, yeah, That's the thing is that they also say

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Speaker 1: Sunday nights, I have to go weak.

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Speaker 4: You can have an invisible half day.

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Speaker 1: So if you feel exhausted at work and you're like,

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Speaker 1: you know what, I just need five to eight to

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Speaker 1: just disappear for a little while, you can also just

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Speaker 1: do that. But in reading about this, I came across

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Speaker 1: this concept called the window of tolerance, and it's the

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Speaker 1: ideal range of emotional and physiological arousal when a person

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Speaker 1: can think clearly. So we all have this window of tolerance,

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Speaker 1: and it's used a lot in therapy and psychology around

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Speaker 1: trauma because your window of tolerance can be very very

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Speaker 1: small and you can become really like hyper aroused, really

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Speaker 1: really quickly. Basically, these therapists were saying that the window

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Speaker 1: of tolerance has been shrinking for a lot of us

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Speaker 1: due to outside stresses, due to not properly resting, And

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Speaker 1: it made me think about those periods in your life

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Speaker 1: where you feel as though you just don't have a

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Speaker 1: lot of bandwidth and you feel as though one time

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Speaker 1: anything can set you off because your tolerance is an

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Speaker 1: all time low, and how having a day to regulate,

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Speaker 1: even a few hours to regulate just means that that

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Speaker 1: window is wider so that you're a better used to

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Speaker 1: people around you.

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Speaker 3: We've been talking a lot lately on the show in

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Speaker 3: different ways about how nobody knows how to behave anymore,

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Speaker 3: and I feel like we've been telling We've been telling

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Speaker 3: people how to behave. We've done a few subtepts about

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Speaker 3: modern etiquette, and we've done them from the perspective of

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Speaker 3: generations X Y Z, and people love on mom and

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Speaker 3: MIA's site and on various people love an etiquette guide

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Speaker 3: even now because it's like, can we just agree on

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Speaker 3: some basically seems to be the vibe, right. There was

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Speaker 3: one that came out last week that was specifically for

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Speaker 3: men that I immediately became obsessiing it was from GQ.

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Speaker 3: It was called The Gentleman's Guide to Etiquette. Do you

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Speaker 3: need me to bring you up to speed quickly about

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Speaker 3: what GQ is people, Yes.

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Speaker 1: It's like a men's magazine, but not a pony one. No,

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Speaker 1: so that GQ, but with less that we can read.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Gentlemen's Quarterly. It is nearly one hundred years Gentlemen's Quarterly.

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Speaker 3: So it's called GQ, but it was originally called Gentlemen's

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Speaker 3: Quarterly and are like, we haven't been doing our job.

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Speaker 3: You men are all over the place. Yeah, and it

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Speaker 3: has been around for nearly one hundred years. Well it's

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Speaker 3: condo nast so it's like quite high status glossy mag

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Speaker 3: back in the day. I mean, no magazines are that,

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Speaker 3: you know, thick and glossy and fabulous anymore. But back

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Speaker 3: in the day, GQ is a big deal. And being

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Speaker 3: the editor of GQ is a big deal. There have

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Speaker 3: been lots of famous editors of GQ. And that it's

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Speaker 3: published in the UK, it's published in the US as

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Speaker 3: an Australian version. The UK one is the coolest. Don't

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Speaker 3: have me anyway. I think it's the American one that

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Speaker 3: published this etiquette guide. And so if you went to

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Speaker 3: GQ now, the kind of things you'd find in There

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Speaker 3: would be lots of stuff about watches, you know, like

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Speaker 3: cool watches, which celebrities are wearing, the really rare watches.

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Speaker 4: How About what protein I should take?

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Speaker 3: Definitely protein information, how to buy a hack sep. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: And there would be like preppy sneaker guides, and there'd

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Speaker 3: be interviews with male movie stars, and there'd be headlines

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Speaker 3: like why leftists are suddenly lifting more weights, why you

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Speaker 3: should consider a swag gap relationship, and other such things. Right,

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Speaker 3: So it's a men's mac. Yeah. So the American one

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Speaker 3: has published this big etiquette guide called one hundred and

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Speaker 3: twenty five Rules for the Modern Gentleman, and it's like crowdsource.

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Speaker 3: They've got a little panel of people, including a woman,

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Speaker 3: Aviad Divinet is on there, and they have got their

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Speaker 3: rules and manners in place. I want to share a

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Speaker 3: few to see what you think, because I don't think

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Speaker 3: these are just for men, to be honest, I think

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Speaker 3: some of them are, like, yes, please adopt these men.

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Speaker 3: But some of them we could all live by. Take

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Speaker 3: out your AirPods when you're talking to someone, Muting does

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Speaker 3: not count.

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Speaker 4: I actually think that's very true.

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Speaker 2: I like this one and I sent it to a

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Speaker 2: few men in our office because there've been times where've

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Speaker 2: approached them and not only have they not taken them out,

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Speaker 2: but they've actually put them in.

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Speaker 3: That's me, that's me. We should not be able to

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Speaker 3: smell you unless we are embracing you. That's about fragrance,

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Speaker 3: not body odor, Like how much fragrance you're wearing.

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Speaker 4: That's of thumb.

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Speaker 3: For all of it. For women, because when you walk

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Speaker 3: past someone and you get that blast in your please,

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Speaker 3: I like it, though, I go, oh, that's lovely.

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Speaker 2: Sometimes it's my dad over does the colony. We'll be

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Speaker 2: in like family, like in the car as a family,

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Speaker 2: and I'd be like, Dad, i have to put the

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Speaker 2: windows down there too much, and he'd be like, that's

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Speaker 2: so mean. You always say this about Michael.

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Speaker 3: So the rule is if I'm hugging you, I can

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Speaker 3: smell it.

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Speaker 2: Otherwise, and it has to be like a nice like ooh.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, this is a good one, I think for everybody.

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Speaker 3: Never say I've already seen this. When someone sends you

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Speaker 3: a funny post.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I do think I'm guilty of that.

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Speaker 3: Yes, I'm guilty.

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Speaker 2: Also, I want to add something to that because I've

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Speaker 2: noticed when I like sharing funny posts with people. I've

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Speaker 2: noticed my girlfriends, when they share something with me, it's

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Speaker 2: they share it because they think I will find it funny.

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Speaker 2: When men share something with me, they share it because

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Speaker 2: they find it funny.

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Speaker 4: Oh, that's so true.

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Speaker 3: You have to cater to the person, and you're sending

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Speaker 3: it to interesting. I like this particularly for men, but

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Speaker 3: maybe for all of us. Never raise your voice at

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Speaker 3: someone unless there's an emergency. I like that. I like

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Speaker 3: that a lot. Yeah, no shouting, We're not shouting. I

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Speaker 3: want to ask you about some of the dating stuff,

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Speaker 3: m but I also want to get to the one

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Speaker 3: that I saw some controversial headlines about. They said this,

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Speaker 3: greet people, you know, with the single kiss on the

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Speaker 3: left cheek, unless you're in a business setting or meeting

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Speaker 3: someone for the first time, in which case stick with

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Speaker 3: a handshake. If you sent someone going in for a hug,

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Speaker 3: embrace it. Now. I saw some people grabbing that and going,

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Speaker 3: oh my god. GQ just told all the men to

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Speaker 3: kiss all the women, and we don't want you coming

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Speaker 3: at us with your kisses. Okay, can I well, how

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Speaker 3: do we feel broadly speaking about the single kiss on

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Speaker 3: the left cheek?

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Speaker 4: Okay? On Friday?

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Speaker 1: Last Friday, I had a little bit of work I

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Speaker 1: had to do, so I went to a cafe on

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Speaker 1: my own to get this work done.

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Speaker 3: Glorious.

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Speaker 1: To make it even better, there was a date happening

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Speaker 1: next to me right and there was a man sitting

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Speaker 1: their way to and then the woman showed up and

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Speaker 1: he stood and he was clearly nervous. It was delightful.

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Speaker 1: He stood up and then he kissed her on one cheek.

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Speaker 1: She went to pull away, he went kissed her on

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Speaker 1: the other cheek and then he no, but it was awkward,

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Speaker 1: and she went oh, and he said it's a bit European.

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Speaker 4: And she said are you European? And he said no?

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Speaker 1: And who die? This man needed to kiss her once

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Speaker 1: on the left cheek, and I thought, this is why

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Speaker 1: we write these guides, because we just need a clear rule.

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Speaker 3: But what about man, you do know her right like?

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Speaker 3: Because this one of the things that greet people you

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Speaker 3: know with a single cheek? Should you greet people you

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Speaker 3: don't know?

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Speaker 1: I think that there is something about shaking the hand

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Speaker 1: of a grown man in a situation that isn't professional

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Speaker 1: that makes me feel uncomfortable, like what are you meant

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Speaker 1: to do? Part of me thinks that actually going in

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Speaker 1: for like a hugger and embrace is more intimate.

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Speaker 2: No, I think I like the kiss on the especially

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Speaker 2: meeting friends and the introduce to people. I think always

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Speaker 2: kiss on the cheek. I just want all men to

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Speaker 2: do this because I have seen so many men who

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Speaker 2: get up to greet a woman and you can see

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Speaker 2: the dread in their eyes.

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Speaker 3: Yes, they don't know what they don't know what to do.

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Speaker 3: They freak out.

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Speaker 2: I've had a guy who had his hand crushed between

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Speaker 2: a stomach and his stomach. I've like hugged a guy

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Speaker 2: and I just had my all my foundation on his shirt.

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Speaker 3: I don't want to be doing that. Meet me at

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Speaker 3: my level, peck me on the cheek. I need clarity. Right,

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Speaker 3: you're meeting someone for the first time. So you're on

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Speaker 3: a date, like the people in Jesse's cafe. If you're

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Speaker 3: waiting for your date to turn up, and when he

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Speaker 3: turns up, are you expecting that he will greet you

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Speaker 3: with a kiss on the cheek. Yes, so not just

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Speaker 3: say hi, I would find a full snog.

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Speaker 4: It's a kiss on the chake. It is absolutely a kiss.

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Speaker 3: On the chack. Okayu.

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Speaker 2: He would have been talking for about like a week

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Speaker 2: or two weeks, and they're like big, Like, I'm chatting

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Speaker 2: to a guy right now. We're sending like five messages

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Speaker 2: per convo, so.

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Speaker 4: We're all growing.

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Speaker 3: I know who you are right now. Okay. Because I

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Speaker 3: have an unpopular opinion about this, I'm not prudish about it.

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Speaker 3: I don't mind it at all, But sometimes like, you know,

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Speaker 3: you'll go to a barbecue or something, right and all

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Speaker 3: your friend's partners are there, and there's a lot of men,

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of women. You can spend ten minutes

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Speaker 3: on all the going around kissing everybody like hi, Hi,

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Speaker 3: and then you might not talk to them again for

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Speaker 3: the rest of the day. And I'm like, do we

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Speaker 3: all have to No?

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Speaker 1: No, no, I have to kiss but I can't I

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Speaker 1: kiss like eighty percent in this was just one guy

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Speaker 1: that's that you refuse to kid.

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Speaker 3: I know him better, so I'll kiss him, Okay twice,

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Speaker 3: I'm not kissing him.

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Speaker 1: The image I'm getting is a hollyway and right high

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Speaker 1: fiving people. I can't get out of my head is

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Speaker 1: hollywalking into a barbecue and just going hi.

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Speaker 3: Putting here boys.

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Speaker 1: But I think that's about efficiency, and you can see

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Speaker 1: sometimes a dread in people's lives.

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Speaker 4: When someone walks in.

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Speaker 1: They're like, I'm gonna do the kisses, and everybody's like

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Speaker 1: getting a line and it's like everyone fucking.

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Speaker 3: And they always enough stepping on their feet yep.

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Speaker 1: And then you go, oh, now I'm going to go

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Speaker 1: and everyone's like no, no, no, no no, and you're like kiss,

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Speaker 1: and then you have to do it all again, Like

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Speaker 1: that's not fun for anyone. I think you can do

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Speaker 1: a great wave just like a Hi guys, Hi, Hi,

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Speaker 1: nice to see you all.

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Speaker 4: Don't need to do all the don't need to do

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Speaker 4: all the individual kissing.

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Speaker 3: I would think I've done something wrong. Are there any

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Speaker 3: men who shouldn't kiss you? I mean once on the

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Speaker 3: left chee? Are there any men like in your work,

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Speaker 3: like the people who are upset about this information being

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Speaker 3: out there and seeing it as invitations for men to

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Speaker 3: just come and kissin.

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Speaker 1: Any corporate setting. I think anything even walk into a

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Speaker 1: boardroom meeting and any work setting, any situation like that.

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Speaker 1: Absolutely not. I think that we've got to be as

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Speaker 1: gender neutral in the office as possible. Shaking hands fabulous.

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Speaker 1: I just think I think that's fine out in public.

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Speaker 3: It's funny because if I see your husband Luca at

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Speaker 3: work all the time, high Luca. If I come and

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Speaker 3: see Luca in a social setting, kiss Luke on the cheek.

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Speaker 4: There you go.

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Speaker 3: So that's the rule.

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Speaker 1: There was another one that I thought was because this

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Speaker 1: comes down to chivalry, right, which I do think is

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Speaker 1: an awkward social tension.

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Speaker 4: Very at this unpopular.

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Speaker 1: Word and an unpopular word, but there is something about

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Speaker 1: rules and guidelines and responsibilities that do make people feel safe.

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Speaker 1: And how do you explain to young men that, you know,

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Speaker 1: if you've got sons one day, they're probably going to

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Speaker 1: be stronger than their mum. So how do you explain

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Speaker 1: to them that helping the woman next to you on

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Speaker 1: the plane to put their carry on up is a

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Speaker 1: kind thing to do?

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Speaker 3: Right?

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Speaker 1: Or That was one of the rules which I thought

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Speaker 1: was really good. And the other one was was the rule.

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Speaker 3: To always help with the carry out that I really

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Speaker 3: like that. I think I fall in love with every

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Speaker 3: man who I see do that.

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Speaker 1: It's so nice because it's like you're taller and you're

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Speaker 1: stronger generally.

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Speaker 3: And the shirt lifts up a little bit.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, and they go, I've got it, and I'm like.

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Speaker 3: Thank you, can you see that? Biceps pitrude?

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Speaker 1: The other one, oh, men who help you with the pram?

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Speaker 1: Oh my gosh, like I'm with stairs or whatever, And

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Speaker 1: a man will often he'll just go, can I give.

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Speaker 3: Your hand with that? And just gets it.

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Speaker 4: You go, thank you so much.

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Speaker 1: But the one that they said which was interesting was

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Speaker 1: about holding the door, and it was again gender neutral man, woman,

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Speaker 1: as long as it's a reasonable time hold the door

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Speaker 1: open for someone. And I was like, interesting, what's a

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Speaker 1: reasonable time?

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Speaker 3: Though? I think we've discussed this on them Etiquette Gough.

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Speaker 1: I think we discussed it in a subscriber episode, and

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00:16:23,182 --> 00:16:27,822
Speaker 1: I think somewhere between five and ten seconds, Okay, I think.

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Speaker 3: I think the reason why chivalry has become tricky is

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00:16:30,902 --> 00:16:33,662
Speaker 3: because people love to weaponize chivalry. Right, Like you will

382
00:16:33,702 --> 00:16:36,582
Speaker 3: hear men say things like, oh, you can't even hold

383
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Speaker 3: a door open for a woman anymore, And I'm like,

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Speaker 3: I have never complained about having a door held open

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Speaker 3: for me, But I have complained, or at least certainly

386
00:16:45,262 --> 00:16:48,622
Speaker 3: internally complained about sexist comments, the way that you looked

387
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Speaker 3: at my boobs instead of my face, all of those

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Speaker 3: kind of things. Like women understand, we intrinsically understand when

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00:16:53,982 --> 00:16:55,862
Speaker 3: people are treating you with respect or when people are

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00:16:55,902 --> 00:16:59,022
Speaker 3: treating you with disdain. And very few women that I

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Speaker 3: have ever met would complain about anyone holding a door

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Speaker 3: open for that.

393
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Speaker 1: I've complained about going out to dinner with a man

394
00:17:04,382 --> 00:17:07,821
Speaker 1: who insists on paying, but then subtly uses that later

395
00:17:08,422 --> 00:17:11,142
Speaker 1: to trick you into having them Yeah, it's like I

396
00:17:11,142 --> 00:17:14,741
Speaker 1: can see that transaction being used, but you're not allowed

397
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Speaker 1: to insist on paying for my dinner and then expect

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Speaker 1: anything in return.

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Speaker 3: That's exactly right. That's the other thing is that who

400
00:17:19,381 --> 00:17:21,341
Speaker 3: men should we have to pay for dinner? So you

401
00:17:21,462 --> 00:17:23,101
Speaker 3: like some bits of chivalry and not others. And it's

402
00:17:23,141 --> 00:17:27,462
Speaker 3: again women understand in my experience when somebody is giving

403
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Speaker 3: us something to get something anyway.

404
00:17:29,901 --> 00:17:32,462
Speaker 1: One day, one of my favorites and I just think

405
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Speaker 1: we need this on the record for all our male listeners.

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Speaker 4: And I'm sorry, but it is men.

407
00:17:37,222 --> 00:17:40,421
Speaker 1: We don't like to discriminate, but it is always sneeze,

408
00:17:40,462 --> 00:17:42,542
Speaker 1: as if you're at a library or a fish of it.

409
00:17:43,182 --> 00:17:45,621
Speaker 1: I was reading this this morning, and I was downstairs

410
00:17:45,621 --> 00:17:48,302
Speaker 1: getting a coffee and a man sneezed, and I thought

411
00:17:48,422 --> 00:17:51,061
Speaker 1: it was an emergency, Like I thought that we needed

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Speaker 1: to call the police because someone had broken into the building.

413
00:17:53,341 --> 00:17:54,022
Speaker 3: Why they do that?

414
00:17:54,101 --> 00:17:54,942
Speaker 4: Why do they do that?

415
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Speaker 2: You know what I think we should do when we

416
00:17:56,462 --> 00:18:00,222
Speaker 2: hear a loud sneeze, stand up and class, because that's

417
00:18:00,262 --> 00:18:02,421
Speaker 2: essentially what they want.

418
00:18:03,101 --> 00:18:04,702
Speaker 3: I hate to tell you this, but you know, also

419
00:18:04,782 --> 00:18:06,981
Speaker 3: men's sneezes get louder as they get older, and there

420
00:18:07,022 --> 00:18:09,502
Speaker 3: are women in my world who just sneeze has been

421
00:18:09,621 --> 00:18:11,581
Speaker 3: the catalyst trying to push them.

422
00:18:11,742 --> 00:18:17,302
Speaker 4: Because you know what this anymore selfish? It's my dad.

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00:18:17,381 --> 00:18:21,941
Speaker 1: Sneezes make literally the walls shake, and it's like you

424
00:18:21,982 --> 00:18:25,222
Speaker 1: think everyone should actually listen to your sneeze, Like why

425
00:18:25,262 --> 00:18:28,341
Speaker 1: don't you at least try to make it a little quiet.

426
00:18:28,462 --> 00:18:30,741
Speaker 1: There is a sense of entitlement about the sneeze that

427
00:18:30,782 --> 00:18:32,262
Speaker 1: I think represents a lot of other things.

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00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:34,142
Speaker 3: I love that one em I've got some other dating ones.

429
00:18:34,182 --> 00:18:38,181
Speaker 3: I want to ask. Be unambiguous when asking someone out.

430
00:18:38,782 --> 00:18:41,901
Speaker 3: Suggest dinner, not drinks or coffee. We've talked about this,

431
00:18:41,942 --> 00:18:44,781
Speaker 3: whether that's okay or not. Imply that you'll pay, and

432
00:18:44,901 --> 00:18:49,222
Speaker 3: differentiate this hang from any previous hangs, ideally with a compliment.

433
00:18:49,542 --> 00:18:51,302
Speaker 3: I always love running into you. Can I take you

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Speaker 3: to dinner sometime? Thoughts? Oh, I like that.

435
00:18:54,341 --> 00:18:57,421
Speaker 2: I nearly cried happy tears when I read this, because

436
00:18:57,462 --> 00:19:01,261
Speaker 2: I feel like when it comes to dating, it's like

437
00:19:01,542 --> 00:19:04,421
Speaker 2: you both have preferences of what you like and what

438
00:19:04,462 --> 00:19:06,341
Speaker 2: you don't like when it comes to chivalry, but you

439
00:19:06,381 --> 00:19:08,902
Speaker 2: don't mention it yet because it's too early. So then

440
00:19:08,901 --> 00:19:11,221
Speaker 2: you both play like kind of this political game of

441
00:19:11,262 --> 00:19:15,341
Speaker 2: what you both deem is like acceptable social norms. So

442
00:19:15,381 --> 00:19:17,141
Speaker 2: you come into the date now and I feel like

443
00:19:17,182 --> 00:19:19,421
Speaker 2: I've been on dates with men who really struggle with

444
00:19:19,462 --> 00:19:22,782
Speaker 2: this where they have offered to pay, and if I

445
00:19:22,821 --> 00:19:24,821
Speaker 2: don't want to see them again, that's usually when I suggest,

446
00:19:24,821 --> 00:19:26,341
Speaker 2: can we split the pilms? I don't want to owe

447
00:19:26,381 --> 00:19:29,382
Speaker 2: them something and they kind of go, oh, yeah, yeah,

448
00:19:29,462 --> 00:19:31,741
Speaker 2: of course, like we can split, And it's always this

449
00:19:31,861 --> 00:19:36,221
Speaker 2: weird transaction where they're trying to do what they think

450
00:19:36,302 --> 00:19:38,302
Speaker 2: is the quote unquote right thing, and then it's like

451
00:19:38,422 --> 00:19:41,502
Speaker 2: society or like me going, no, I actually want to pay,

452
00:19:41,661 --> 00:19:44,222
Speaker 2: or like no going but it said I had to insist. Yeah,

453
00:19:44,821 --> 00:19:46,821
Speaker 2: I had to insist, and I'm trying to do that.

454
00:19:47,101 --> 00:19:48,782
Speaker 2: Or they're like, oh, do you want the boot seat?

455
00:19:48,861 --> 00:19:50,622
Speaker 2: And I was like no, because I know my bum

456
00:19:50,621 --> 00:19:52,782
Speaker 2: won't fit through those two little tables, so you take

457
00:19:52,782 --> 00:19:55,022
Speaker 2: the boot seat and then they're like, oh, okay, are

458
00:19:55,022 --> 00:19:56,861
Speaker 2: you sure you don't like it's so weird now, like

459
00:19:56,901 --> 00:19:59,381
Speaker 2: it's getting really political in dating.

460
00:19:59,661 --> 00:20:01,782
Speaker 4: I have a question for you. This one came up.

461
00:20:01,861 --> 00:20:02,782
Speaker 4: I really liked it.

462
00:20:03,101 --> 00:20:06,221
Speaker 1: This was in the dating section the what exactly are

463
00:20:06,262 --> 00:20:10,142
Speaker 1: we doing here? Conversation should happen somewhere around the fifth date,

464
00:20:10,462 --> 00:20:12,302
Speaker 1: and basically you've got to answer it.

465
00:20:12,581 --> 00:20:14,061
Speaker 3: And I think they should initiate it.

466
00:20:14,581 --> 00:20:16,542
Speaker 2: I think they need to be because I'm always one

467
00:20:16,621 --> 00:20:18,621
Speaker 2: initiating it, and then I get broken up with and

468
00:20:18,661 --> 00:20:21,302
Speaker 2: I'm like, damn it, three more dates?

469
00:20:21,742 --> 00:20:23,341
Speaker 1: And there were moments where I was like, it has

470
00:20:23,422 --> 00:20:27,222
Speaker 1: been seven moms, Yeah, I think it's appropriate.

471
00:20:27,381 --> 00:20:28,861
Speaker 3: And I'm like, oh, I'm not sure how I feel.

472
00:20:28,861 --> 00:20:33,222
Speaker 3: I'm like, what do you think about the five date suggestion? There? Though?

473
00:20:33,302 --> 00:20:35,581
Speaker 3: So five dates is enough time for it to be

474
00:20:35,821 --> 00:20:38,941
Speaker 3: entirely acceptable for one or both of the parties to

475
00:20:38,982 --> 00:20:40,701
Speaker 3: go what is this? I agree?

476
00:20:40,782 --> 00:20:42,861
Speaker 2: I agree five dates because if you go on a

477
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:45,141
Speaker 2: date a week, that's essentially a month you're a month in.

478
00:20:45,901 --> 00:20:48,662
Speaker 2: Surely that gives you grounds of like whether you want

479
00:20:48,661 --> 00:20:49,981
Speaker 2: to keep seeing me or not?

480
00:20:50,262 --> 00:20:52,741
Speaker 3: Yeah, what do you think about this? It's uncouth to

481
00:20:52,821 --> 00:20:56,861
Speaker 3: show your friends someone else's dating profile. Those are meant

482
00:20:56,861 --> 00:20:59,181
Speaker 3: to be seen by people on the app, and people

483
00:20:59,182 --> 00:21:00,981
Speaker 3: on the app only, not your boys after you've had

484
00:21:01,022 --> 00:21:03,581
Speaker 3: three drinks at the bar, or even worse, screenshotted and

485
00:21:03,621 --> 00:21:08,302
Speaker 3: shared with strangers online. Don't break the contract of mutual vulnerability.

486
00:21:09,861 --> 00:21:13,022
Speaker 3: Make you show me a lot of dating profile a lot,

487
00:21:13,101 --> 00:21:15,222
Speaker 3: but if I ask, you'll show me. But I feel

488
00:21:15,262 --> 00:21:15,662
Speaker 3: like I.

489
00:21:15,581 --> 00:21:17,581
Speaker 2: Show dating profiles in the way, like, look, how cute

490
00:21:17,621 --> 00:21:18,302
Speaker 2: this guy is.

491
00:21:18,462 --> 00:21:19,381
Speaker 3: This is what he looks like.

492
00:21:19,462 --> 00:21:22,542
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're never mean. No, that's actually a good point.

493
00:21:22,581 --> 00:21:25,061
Speaker 1: I thought taking it out of context was interesting because

494
00:21:25,101 --> 00:21:27,381
Speaker 1: I've seen some friends say, oh, I've saw one of

495
00:21:27,422 --> 00:21:29,302
Speaker 1: your friends on a dating app and shown me, and

496
00:21:29,381 --> 00:21:32,182
Speaker 1: I feel as though I'm seeing them in their.

497
00:21:32,141 --> 00:21:35,782
Speaker 4: Underwear very vulnerable. Yes, that I go.

498
00:21:36,381 --> 00:21:40,702
Speaker 1: That wasn't designed for me, and they deserve some privacy

499
00:21:40,861 --> 00:21:44,661
Speaker 1: in this context. I also liked this one. Stop walking

500
00:21:44,702 --> 00:21:46,181
Speaker 1: three feet ahead of your partner.

501
00:21:48,061 --> 00:21:51,061
Speaker 3: You know, Brent does this, like he walks fast and

502
00:21:51,101 --> 00:21:53,302
Speaker 3: he always walks ahead of me, and it drives me crazy,

503
00:21:53,381 --> 00:21:55,341
Speaker 3: Like it's we go walking together every.

504
00:21:55,182 --> 00:21:56,782
Speaker 4: Day and then they get irritated.

505
00:21:56,861 --> 00:21:59,101
Speaker 3: Yeah, and then I'm like, hey, I'm back here, and

506
00:21:59,621 --> 00:22:02,102
Speaker 3: oh sorry, you have to walk next to your partner

507
00:22:02,141 --> 00:22:03,581
Speaker 3: and you have to be on the road side so

508
00:22:03,621 --> 00:22:05,942
Speaker 3: for carcarms you can save them. That was in here too.

509
00:22:06,182 --> 00:22:08,821
Speaker 3: It actually so it's interesting because I see that as

510
00:22:08,821 --> 00:22:11,901
Speaker 3: a bit of an old fed chivalrous move, but in

511
00:22:11,942 --> 00:22:14,381
Speaker 3: here it did say sorry, I know it might be

512
00:22:14,381 --> 00:22:16,141
Speaker 3: a bit old fashioned, but you have to be on

513
00:22:16,182 --> 00:22:18,421
Speaker 3: that side. I thought, shit, am I supposed to tell

514
00:22:18,422 --> 00:22:19,142
Speaker 3: my boy about that?

515
00:22:19,381 --> 00:22:21,422
Speaker 4: I think it's kind of nice.

516
00:22:21,462 --> 00:22:23,181
Speaker 3: I think when they do it quietly, it's sexy.

517
00:22:23,222 --> 00:22:25,982
Speaker 2: When I was the last person I dated, he did

518
00:22:25,982 --> 00:22:27,742
Speaker 2: this in a quiet way where we be walking the

519
00:22:27,742 --> 00:22:30,141
Speaker 2: street and he'll just like slowly walk behind me and

520
00:22:30,262 --> 00:22:31,341
Speaker 2: walk on the other side.

521
00:22:31,982 --> 00:22:33,982
Speaker 3: So sexy. Oh that is hard. It's hard.

522
00:22:34,262 --> 00:22:35,942
Speaker 4: But if they're pushing you out of the waving home

523
00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:37,222
Speaker 4: on the roadside, it's like.

524
00:22:37,222 --> 00:22:41,621
Speaker 3: That's not off the road, no yelling. I have an

525
00:22:41,621 --> 00:22:43,382
Speaker 3: age gap one that I need to ask Jesse about

526
00:22:43,381 --> 00:22:46,821
Speaker 3: because she has opinions. The age gap rule for adults.

527
00:22:47,141 --> 00:22:49,662
Speaker 3: This is for adults. Remember used to be that men

528
00:22:49,742 --> 00:22:53,861
Speaker 3: shouldn't date below half your age plus seven. We like

529
00:22:53,942 --> 00:22:58,662
Speaker 3: SAGEGQ half your age plus ten. Hey, nothing's inflation proof,

530
00:22:58,742 --> 00:23:02,341
Speaker 3: they joke. We can call this the gentleman's age gap

531
00:23:02,422 --> 00:23:04,542
Speaker 3: and know your metabolic age doesn't count.

532
00:23:05,462 --> 00:23:09,061
Speaker 1: So I worked out it took me literally twenty four

533
00:23:09,101 --> 00:23:11,101
Speaker 1: hours maths on this, but I was like, I think

534
00:23:11,141 --> 00:23:14,262
Speaker 1: I broke this rule. At the beginning, but I have

535
00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:17,181
Speaker 1: got in the clear as the years have gone on.

536
00:23:17,742 --> 00:23:19,821
Speaker 1: I think now if I'm thirty four, then that means

537
00:23:19,821 --> 00:23:20,341
Speaker 1: I could date a.

538
00:23:20,341 --> 00:23:21,061
Speaker 4: Twenty two year old.

539
00:23:21,661 --> 00:23:24,061
Speaker 3: Yeah, that sounds rare that Yeah.

540
00:23:24,182 --> 00:23:28,542
Speaker 4: And Luca's twenty eight. Oh my goodness, it's totally fine.

541
00:23:28,621 --> 00:23:28,782
Speaker 3: Yeah.

542
00:23:28,861 --> 00:23:31,222
Speaker 1: Did it look bad like at the beginning, Maybe a

543
00:23:31,262 --> 00:23:33,302
Speaker 1: little bit. But the thing about age is you generally

544
00:23:33,302 --> 00:23:33,821
Speaker 1: get older.

545
00:23:34,022 --> 00:23:35,022
Speaker 4: So I've been.

546
00:23:34,982 --> 00:23:40,422
Speaker 2: Dating younger recently because everyone my age and older all

547
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:42,941
Speaker 2: have kids, and I'm like, oh, I actually don't know

548
00:23:42,982 --> 00:23:43,581
Speaker 2: what to do with that.

549
00:23:43,821 --> 00:23:46,022
Speaker 4: Yeah, well you've not caught them at their first divorce yet.

550
00:23:46,141 --> 00:23:47,782
Speaker 3: Yeah, so you got a way. I've got to wait

551
00:23:47,782 --> 00:23:50,461
Speaker 3: it out. Yeah, half your age plus seven four like

552
00:23:50,661 --> 00:23:53,462
Speaker 3: man in their forties plus ten. They said, oh, plus ten,

553
00:23:53,542 --> 00:23:57,102
Speaker 3: that's right, which doesn't cause I'm four a forty four

554
00:23:57,141 --> 00:24:00,861
Speaker 3: year old divorcee. Yeah. In this rule would be we're

555
00:24:00,861 --> 00:24:03,061
Speaker 3: so bad at maths, all of thirty two thirty two.

556
00:24:03,262 --> 00:24:04,742
Speaker 3: Mine would be like twenty five.

557
00:24:05,222 --> 00:24:06,902
Speaker 1: Yeah, so you're allowed to do twenty five. You haven't

558
00:24:06,901 --> 00:24:07,861
Speaker 1: done younger than twenty five.

559
00:24:07,942 --> 00:24:12,901
Speaker 3: I've done younger than twenty five. Twenty threeman's age. I

560
00:24:12,982 --> 00:24:13,181
Speaker 3: met a.

561
00:24:13,222 --> 00:24:15,661
Speaker 2: Nineteen year old in the club recently. Oh, that's a

562
00:24:15,702 --> 00:24:19,421
Speaker 2: bit of it scared me. He was very into it, and

563
00:24:19,502 --> 00:24:22,502
Speaker 2: I was like, no, no, in your life.

564
00:24:22,861 --> 00:24:25,701
Speaker 1: There was one I really liked, which was when someone

565
00:24:25,782 --> 00:24:28,341
Speaker 1: you know has a baby arranged to send them dinner

566
00:24:28,381 --> 00:24:31,021
Speaker 1: one night during the first month. And the reason I

567
00:24:31,101 --> 00:24:33,022
Speaker 1: liked that one is because I thought about all the

568
00:24:33,101 --> 00:24:35,982
Speaker 1: social rules that have passed through generations of women, because

569
00:24:36,022 --> 00:24:41,862
Speaker 1: we're socialized to communicate and to almost share that kind

570
00:24:41,861 --> 00:24:44,621
Speaker 1: of etiquette, like I've just learned from osmosis, from watching

571
00:24:44,661 --> 00:24:46,861
Speaker 1: my mum, what you're kind of meant to do. And

572
00:24:46,901 --> 00:24:48,742
Speaker 1: what was really cool about that one is I thought

573
00:24:49,422 --> 00:24:51,182
Speaker 1: their fathers probably didn't.

574
00:24:50,861 --> 00:24:52,901
Speaker 4: Do that or didn't know you were meant to do that.

575
00:24:53,141 --> 00:24:56,542
Speaker 1: True, and it's a nice generational shift to think that

576
00:24:56,621 --> 00:24:58,901
Speaker 1: men will now go, oh, my mate, who's just had

577
00:24:58,901 --> 00:25:00,341
Speaker 1: a baby, I'm actually going to do something. And they

578
00:25:00,341 --> 00:25:02,222
Speaker 1: said the same thing applies for illness or if someone's

579
00:25:02,262 --> 00:25:03,981
Speaker 1: in hospital, just one dinner.

580
00:25:04,101 --> 00:25:06,581
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, that's nice. This one is crucial

581
00:25:07,141 --> 00:25:09,262
Speaker 3: in the summer. Take two hours a day.

582
00:25:09,661 --> 00:25:11,941
Speaker 4: Yep, completely agree, morning and night.

583
00:25:12,022 --> 00:25:14,421
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a two shower situation. Don't get into do

584
00:25:14,462 --> 00:25:16,581
Speaker 3: you take two showers a day. In the summer, I

585
00:25:16,742 --> 00:25:19,621
Speaker 3: am a morning shower. I think we've discussed this before.

586
00:25:19,821 --> 00:25:21,182
Speaker 3: You're a nighttime shower, aren't you.

587
00:25:21,182 --> 00:25:23,782
Speaker 1: Just I do both. I do get night sweats. Because

588
00:25:23,821 --> 00:25:25,902
Speaker 1: of my night sweats, I do have to have.

589
00:25:25,861 --> 00:25:28,302
Speaker 4: A morning shower. And then I also, you got to

590
00:25:28,302 --> 00:25:29,622
Speaker 4: be nice and clean when you get into bed.

591
00:25:29,782 --> 00:25:32,862
Speaker 3: Now, I'm a morning shower, so I do definitely get

592
00:25:32,861 --> 00:25:35,502
Speaker 3: into bed dirty. But in the summer, I appreciate this

593
00:25:35,542 --> 00:25:37,262
Speaker 3: one in that like if I'm going out, you know

594
00:25:37,302 --> 00:25:39,461
Speaker 3: what I mean, Like I'm showering in the morning like normal,

595
00:25:39,621 --> 00:25:41,622
Speaker 3: but then I'm showering again later if I'm going out

596
00:25:41,661 --> 00:25:42,341
Speaker 3: doing something right.

597
00:25:42,341 --> 00:25:45,101
Speaker 2: Okay, I want to point out rule number sixty eight.

598
00:25:45,262 --> 00:25:47,581
Speaker 2: No man who doesn't post for work sho'd have a

599
00:25:47,581 --> 00:25:48,662
Speaker 2: public Instagram.

600
00:25:48,782 --> 00:25:51,741
Speaker 3: That is a really controversial rule. Do you think I

601
00:25:51,942 --> 00:25:57,901
Speaker 3: had never considered that there was something ungentlemanly or unmasculine

602
00:25:57,901 --> 00:26:00,982
Speaker 3: whatever that means about men having social media.

603
00:26:01,061 --> 00:26:04,021
Speaker 1: I incctively agree with it, and I've heard and it's wrong,

604
00:26:04,341 --> 00:26:05,341
Speaker 1: Like I've heard MSA.

605
00:26:05,422 --> 00:26:06,702
Speaker 4: Public instagrams are for the girls.

606
00:26:06,821 --> 00:26:12,782
Speaker 3: What if they enjoy it? That's just a I struggle

607
00:26:12,821 --> 00:26:14,302
Speaker 3: with that. I want to know if out louders think

608
00:26:14,302 --> 00:26:18,982
Speaker 3: that's true, Like if a man enjoys like the sharing

609
00:26:19,061 --> 00:26:20,422
Speaker 3: photos Facebook too.

610
00:26:20,901 --> 00:26:22,581
Speaker 1: No, no one knows what they're doing with their settings

611
00:26:22,621 --> 00:26:25,262
Speaker 1: on Facebook. I feel like Brent's definitely public on Facebook.

612
00:26:25,262 --> 00:26:27,942
Speaker 3: Oh my god, Brent, it's definitely public. But like I'd

613
00:26:28,022 --> 00:26:30,861
Speaker 3: never considered it before. It's very interesting to me. Now

614
00:26:30,901 --> 00:26:33,302
Speaker 3: I'm going to see it everywhere. I'm going to be like, oh,

615
00:26:33,341 --> 00:26:35,821
Speaker 3: he's got a public Instagram. I don't know block out

616
00:26:35,821 --> 00:26:38,782
Speaker 3: loud as. I need to know if you agree out

617
00:26:38,782 --> 00:26:39,741
Speaker 3: louders gen z.

618
00:26:39,901 --> 00:26:43,021
Speaker 2: Are having sex in all sorts of public places, and

619
00:26:43,061 --> 00:26:44,621
Speaker 2: we really need an unpack.

620
00:26:44,422 --> 00:26:49,381
Speaker 4: Why out Louders.

621
00:26:49,782 --> 00:26:52,101
Speaker 1: We've got a listener dilemma and we need your collective

622
00:26:52,141 --> 00:26:55,101
Speaker 1: wisdom to help us and our partner's UI solve it.

623
00:26:55,182 --> 00:26:55,502
Speaker 4: Please.

624
00:26:55,901 --> 00:26:58,341
Speaker 1: Here is the problem from our listener. Two and a

625
00:26:58,381 --> 00:27:01,182
Speaker 1: half years ago, I visited my brother in law's house

626
00:27:01,262 --> 00:27:04,502
Speaker 1: with my partner and our nine month old son. They

627
00:27:04,542 --> 00:27:08,702
Speaker 1: had just adopted a massive bull Mastiff, their first dog ever,

628
00:27:08,982 --> 00:27:11,662
Speaker 1: and they weren't familiar with dog behavior. When my sister

629
00:27:11,702 --> 00:27:14,701
Speaker 1: in law picked up my crawling baby, she started yelling

630
00:27:14,702 --> 00:27:17,222
Speaker 1: at the dog and batting the dog away. I saw

631
00:27:17,222 --> 00:27:19,341
Speaker 1: the dog stiff and growl and go to Mauth that

632
00:27:19,462 --> 00:27:21,821
Speaker 1: my son. I immediately asked if we could put the

633
00:27:21,861 --> 00:27:25,101
Speaker 1: dog outside, but I was dismissed as overprotective. When my

634
00:27:25,141 --> 00:27:27,101
Speaker 1: brother in law let the dog straight back in, I

635
00:27:27,182 --> 00:27:30,661
Speaker 1: packed up and we left. Since then, they've ignored me

636
00:27:30,782 --> 00:27:33,502
Speaker 1: at every family event. My brother in law even lied

637
00:27:33,661 --> 00:27:36,422
Speaker 1: claiming the dog never made a move despite not being

638
00:27:36,422 --> 00:27:40,061
Speaker 1: in the room. My partner says our son's safety comes first,

639
00:27:40,141 --> 00:27:42,382
Speaker 1: but he won't address his brothers lie or how his

640
00:27:42,381 --> 00:27:45,742
Speaker 1: family treats me. He's openly said he'll always choose his

641
00:27:45,821 --> 00:27:49,261
Speaker 1: family over me. I don't need him to cut off

642
00:27:49,302 --> 00:27:51,221
Speaker 1: his family. I just want to stop being treated like

643
00:27:51,262 --> 00:27:54,182
Speaker 1: the villain. The real issue isn't the dog anymore. It's

644
00:27:54,182 --> 00:27:56,861
Speaker 1: how unsupported I feel. I'm tired of always being the

645
00:27:56,901 --> 00:28:00,061
Speaker 1: bigger person while they rewrite history and punish me for

646
00:28:00,141 --> 00:28:03,982
Speaker 1: basic parenting. How long am I expected to sit quietly

647
00:28:04,182 --> 00:28:06,782
Speaker 1: while his family freezes me out for doing what any

648
00:28:06,821 --> 00:28:07,421
Speaker 1: parent would do?

649
00:28:07,982 --> 00:28:09,381
Speaker 4: What do you do next?

650
00:28:09,661 --> 00:28:13,141
Speaker 2: I have a question for the relationship is on the table,

651
00:28:13,141 --> 00:28:16,182
Speaker 2: which is the two of you saying to your partner

652
00:28:16,581 --> 00:28:19,461
Speaker 2: openly and freely, I will always choose my family over you.

653
00:28:19,581 --> 00:28:20,581
Speaker 3: Is that a red flag?

654
00:28:20,661 --> 00:28:23,542
Speaker 1: That's a real red flag, because it's like, I didn't

655
00:28:23,581 --> 00:28:24,462
Speaker 1: ask you to choose.

656
00:28:24,742 --> 00:28:25,742
Speaker 4: I feel like that's.

657
00:28:25,542 --> 00:28:30,382
Speaker 1: A weird pitting them against each other. Like I wouldn't

658
00:28:30,381 --> 00:28:31,782
Speaker 1: want him ever to say or pick you over my

659
00:28:31,821 --> 00:28:34,942
Speaker 1: family or pick my family over you. That's not what

660
00:28:34,942 --> 00:28:37,542
Speaker 1: she's asking him to do. So it feels like it

661
00:28:37,621 --> 00:28:40,662
Speaker 1: almost quite a manipulative I think to say.

662
00:28:40,502 --> 00:28:42,302
Speaker 3: I think it's a red flag for him to bring

663
00:28:42,302 --> 00:28:45,941
Speaker 3: it up like that. Like Jesse says, in my experience,

664
00:28:46,142 --> 00:28:49,262
Speaker 3: you should never make anybody try and choose. And I

665
00:28:49,302 --> 00:28:51,462
Speaker 3: have seen it happen where a woman might have gone

666
00:28:51,502 --> 00:28:53,502
Speaker 3: into relationship and she doesn't like the mother in law

667
00:28:53,622 --> 00:28:57,382
Speaker 3: and so she kind of she's like me, yeah, and

668
00:28:57,502 --> 00:28:59,701
Speaker 3: it never works out. Well, you can't slug off other

669
00:28:59,742 --> 00:29:02,302
Speaker 3: people's family. She just can't, not in like a serious

670
00:29:02,342 --> 00:29:05,742
Speaker 3: way anyway. But this is really weird. This is so

671
00:29:05,822 --> 00:29:08,462
Speaker 3: weird because two and a half years this is weird.

672
00:29:08,542 --> 00:29:11,021
Speaker 3: Right the incident in the first place, there's no question

673
00:29:11,102 --> 00:29:13,822
Speaker 3: in my mind that our questioner was in the right there.

674
00:29:13,902 --> 00:29:16,702
Speaker 3: Agree put the bloody dog outside. I love dogs. I've

675
00:29:16,702 --> 00:29:18,342
Speaker 3: got a dog who some people are scared of and

676
00:29:18,382 --> 00:29:20,342
Speaker 3: I've had dog breeds in the past that people don't

677
00:29:20,422 --> 00:29:24,382
Speaker 3: like you are sensitive to that you put the dog outside.

678
00:29:24,542 --> 00:29:28,102
Speaker 3: Of course you do likeh forget it holding on to

679
00:29:28,222 --> 00:29:31,462
Speaker 3: that for two and a half years, I just wouldn't

680
00:29:31,462 --> 00:29:32,582
Speaker 3: be going to family functions.

681
00:29:32,742 --> 00:29:36,342
Speaker 1: I wondered if it was a matter of picking up

682
00:29:36,342 --> 00:29:38,422
Speaker 1: the phone, Like, you've got two options, right, you don't

683
00:29:38,422 --> 00:29:40,822
Speaker 1: go to the family functions, or you call the sister

684
00:29:40,862 --> 00:29:43,142
Speaker 1: in law slash brother in law whoever you feel like

685
00:29:43,182 --> 00:29:45,342
Speaker 1: has more of the beef, and you go, can we

686
00:29:45,382 --> 00:29:46,102
Speaker 1: just not this out?

687
00:29:46,262 --> 00:29:47,982
Speaker 3: Can we just been two and a half years?

688
00:29:48,062 --> 00:29:50,902
Speaker 1: Can you just this is what I felt happened. I

689
00:29:51,022 --> 00:29:52,981
Speaker 1: was worried that something was going to happen with my kids.

690
00:29:53,142 --> 00:29:56,382
Speaker 1: Like whether it's a misunderstanding or it feels like it

691
00:29:56,422 --> 00:29:58,582
Speaker 1: got out of hand, whatever, I think you've got to

692
00:29:58,582 --> 00:30:01,302
Speaker 1: at least try to nut it out. But I also

693
00:30:01,822 --> 00:30:04,262
Speaker 1: understand her feeling like she's not being backed up or

694
00:30:04,262 --> 00:30:07,702
Speaker 1: supported by her partner husband. That's really really not good.

695
00:30:07,782 --> 00:30:09,661
Speaker 3: So what should she do next? So you say, wake

696
00:30:09,742 --> 00:30:13,022
Speaker 3: up the phone. I say, in my non confrontational style,

697
00:30:13,262 --> 00:30:15,142
Speaker 3: just don't go to any more family events.

698
00:30:15,862 --> 00:30:17,782
Speaker 2: I say, talk to the husband and be like, dude,

699
00:30:17,782 --> 00:30:19,582
Speaker 2: come on, sort it out.

700
00:30:19,742 --> 00:30:20,342
Speaker 3: This is your favor.

701
00:30:20,462 --> 00:30:22,181
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is true, that's when you And also he

702
00:30:22,262 --> 00:30:25,181
Speaker 2: kind of agreed initially, like he also like yeah, was

703
00:30:25,182 --> 00:30:27,502
Speaker 2: with her and like they picked up the baby and left.

704
00:30:27,782 --> 00:30:30,142
Speaker 2: So initially he was like on her quote unquote side,

705
00:30:30,422 --> 00:30:32,342
Speaker 2: And now just feels a bit weird that he's just like,

706
00:30:32,382 --> 00:30:33,222
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do.

707
00:30:33,622 --> 00:30:36,502
Speaker 3: Out louders, what would you do next? Share your thoughts

708
00:30:36,542 --> 00:30:38,221
Speaker 3: in the moment. We are out loud Facebook group and

709
00:30:38,262 --> 00:30:40,181
Speaker 3: if you have a dilemma, send it to us at

710
00:30:40,182 --> 00:30:42,222
Speaker 3: out loud, at momamea dot com, dodau.

711
00:30:42,302 --> 00:30:45,822
Speaker 2: We would love to help you fix it. Chensey, don't

712
00:30:45,822 --> 00:30:46,661
Speaker 2: know where to have sex?

713
00:30:46,822 --> 00:30:48,302
Speaker 4: Have you been having sex in public? Again?

714
00:30:48,782 --> 00:30:52,382
Speaker 3: It's really stressing us. What's been going on?

715
00:30:52,462 --> 00:30:55,702
Speaker 2: Okay, So love Honey did a survey and they found

716
00:30:55,702 --> 00:30:58,701
Speaker 2: that forty percent of the responding to a age between

717
00:30:58,742 --> 00:31:02,262
Speaker 2: eighteen and twenty four were living with their parents. I

718
00:31:02,422 --> 00:31:04,862
Speaker 2: have a lot of friends who either still live with

719
00:31:04,862 --> 00:31:07,542
Speaker 2: their parents or had to move back in with their parents,

720
00:31:07,542 --> 00:31:09,422
Speaker 2: and a lot of them are over the age of twenty.

721
00:31:09,182 --> 00:31:10,022
Speaker 3: Four as well.

722
00:31:10,542 --> 00:31:13,382
Speaker 2: Out of the people they surveyed, also, fifty six percent

723
00:31:13,422 --> 00:31:16,262
Speaker 2: of respondent said that they had to stop masturbating or

724
00:31:16,302 --> 00:31:19,382
Speaker 2: having sex because they had been interrupted, which I feel

725
00:31:19,382 --> 00:31:20,582
Speaker 2: like is too high.

726
00:31:20,622 --> 00:31:22,022
Speaker 3: Of a percentage.

727
00:31:22,622 --> 00:31:24,742
Speaker 2: So gen Z have had to get a bit creative

728
00:31:24,982 --> 00:31:27,622
Speaker 2: where they're having sex. A lot of them have said

729
00:31:27,622 --> 00:31:31,142
Speaker 2: that they're now having sex in public places. Most of

730
00:31:31,182 --> 00:31:33,542
Speaker 2: them said that they've been having sex in public bathrooms.

731
00:31:34,222 --> 00:31:39,461
Speaker 3: Oh wow, stop it, they're not hygienic. What's wrong with cars?

732
00:31:39,502 --> 00:31:41,542
Speaker 3: Young people have been having sex in cars for many years.

733
00:31:41,582 --> 00:31:45,701
Speaker 3: I guess you. Cars are expensive. I say, this is

734
00:31:45,742 --> 00:31:47,902
Speaker 3: part of the cost of living crisis. Now the payment

735
00:31:48,022 --> 00:31:49,782
Speaker 3: for it is that we have to watch out what

736
00:31:49,822 --> 00:31:54,181
Speaker 3: we touch in bathrooms. We want to go get we

737
00:31:54,262 --> 00:31:56,342
Speaker 3: can't be doing that. It's a whole other bit.

738
00:31:56,822 --> 00:32:00,622
Speaker 2: You're doing that when you guys were teenagers. How are

739
00:32:00,622 --> 00:32:03,022
Speaker 2: you getting creative in getting a bit sexy.

740
00:32:03,342 --> 00:32:05,502
Speaker 1: Well, it's interesting that you say that, because I did

741
00:32:05,502 --> 00:32:07,981
Speaker 1: a call out to the out loudest. Oh there's some

742
00:32:08,062 --> 00:32:10,981
Speaker 1: dirty gaps among our out louders, And we did an

743
00:32:10,982 --> 00:32:15,102
Speaker 1: anonymous poll and we said, where is the weirdest place

744
00:32:15,182 --> 00:32:18,702
Speaker 1: where you've had sex in public? And the interesting detail

745
00:32:18,702 --> 00:32:22,461
Speaker 1: I kept say coming up was when they were around

746
00:32:22,502 --> 00:32:26,822
Speaker 1: this age, So nineteen twenty twenty one. It was public parks,

747
00:32:27,542 --> 00:32:30,942
Speaker 1: lots of car parks like in cars car parks.

748
00:32:31,542 --> 00:32:33,782
Speaker 4: And the other one that was probably the most popular

749
00:32:34,142 --> 00:32:36,782
Speaker 4: was the cinema right towards the back.

750
00:32:37,462 --> 00:32:40,782
Speaker 3: Cameras. Do they it's dark? Yeah?

751
00:32:41,022 --> 00:32:43,142
Speaker 2: No, they have cameras because I'm watching you, because I'm

752
00:32:43,262 --> 00:32:45,102
Speaker 2: checking to see if you're filming the movie.

753
00:32:45,182 --> 00:32:47,022
Speaker 3: So then they come with their little tour a lot.

754
00:32:46,902 --> 00:32:49,062
Speaker 2: Of things really, and the person coming a little torch

755
00:32:49,102 --> 00:32:50,262
Speaker 2: is usually another teenager.

756
00:32:50,622 --> 00:32:52,342
Speaker 3: I really said supermarket.

757
00:32:53,142 --> 00:32:58,221
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wondered about I wonder which is which exactly?

758
00:32:58,382 --> 00:33:03,181
Speaker 3: Surely the cheese for safe sex purposes, I hope it

759
00:33:03,222 --> 00:33:06,822
Speaker 3: was the condom and loub section. And then some people

760
00:33:06,862 --> 00:33:08,942
Speaker 3: said in a fire truck, there's a story there. That's

761
00:33:08,982 --> 00:33:14,102
Speaker 3: the really outing story there. A church that's a bit kinky, a.

762
00:33:14,062 --> 00:33:15,902
Speaker 4: Church a graveyard came up as well.

763
00:33:15,942 --> 00:33:18,302
Speaker 3: It feels like I'm making a statement. Hotel balcony that

764
00:33:18,342 --> 00:33:20,502
Speaker 3: makes sense. Paddocks of a winery.

765
00:33:20,182 --> 00:33:21,662
Speaker 4: Another one that came up a lot.

766
00:33:21,782 --> 00:33:24,302
Speaker 1: And I want us to sort of dissect this as

767
00:33:24,302 --> 00:33:26,981
Speaker 1: a team, because, as you say, am not everyone has

768
00:33:26,982 --> 00:33:29,021
Speaker 1: a car, Yeah, so what do they need to get

769
00:33:29,262 --> 00:33:29,702
Speaker 1: an uber?

770
00:33:30,582 --> 00:33:30,742
Speaker 4: Now?

771
00:33:30,782 --> 00:33:34,182
Speaker 1: A lot of people taxis and ubers. We did discuss

772
00:33:34,222 --> 00:33:36,102
Speaker 1: in our Etiquete guard a little while ago, what are the.

773
00:33:36,102 --> 00:33:37,741
Speaker 3: Driver's doing while that's happening.

774
00:33:37,782 --> 00:33:40,342
Speaker 2: I remember I told you guys how happened to my

775
00:33:40,342 --> 00:33:43,742
Speaker 2: friends and she got kicked out and charged seventy dollars

776
00:33:43,742 --> 00:33:44,862
Speaker 2: for public in decency.

777
00:33:45,382 --> 00:33:48,421
Speaker 4: Right, so you're not allowed you're not allowed to be

778
00:33:48,462 --> 00:33:48,822
Speaker 4: doing that.

779
00:33:48,862 --> 00:33:50,342
Speaker 3: I want to know if the person she was having

780
00:33:50,382 --> 00:33:52,662
Speaker 3: sex with in the back of the uber split that. Fine, ooh,

781
00:33:53,342 --> 00:33:56,262
Speaker 3: that's a good attiquate question. Should you split the five?

782
00:33:57,142 --> 00:33:59,542
Speaker 1: Actually, I'm going to put it out there Jena Win's guide.

783
00:33:59,862 --> 00:34:02,582
Speaker 1: If you and a partner get done for public indecency,

784
00:34:02,661 --> 00:34:04,622
Speaker 1: I think you've got to pay, as.

785
00:34:06,382 --> 00:34:10,221
Speaker 3: Honestly what they think of. I think it's dependent on

786
00:34:10,222 --> 00:34:14,701
Speaker 3: who's doing the most movement, because surely you're caught who's

787
00:34:14,902 --> 00:34:18,021
Speaker 3: we're showing the most flesh? Like, how indecent did it get?

788
00:34:18,302 --> 00:34:20,582
Speaker 2: I feel like a lot of these responses though it's

789
00:34:20,661 --> 00:34:24,542
Speaker 2: not much I need to have sex because there's nowhere

790
00:34:24,542 --> 00:34:26,901
Speaker 2: else for me to have sex, and it's more voyeurism.

791
00:34:27,142 --> 00:34:29,542
Speaker 3: I think there's two different types of public sex. Yes, right,

792
00:34:29,902 --> 00:34:32,981
Speaker 3: there's public sex as a necessity and the other week,

793
00:34:33,022 --> 00:34:35,342
Speaker 3: I was walking across Hyde Park in the middle of Sydney,

794
00:34:35,622 --> 00:34:38,221
Speaker 3: like a sort of five o'clockish, and there was this

795
00:34:38,302 --> 00:34:40,582
Speaker 3: couple on the under a tree sunny evening, you know,

796
00:34:40,661 --> 00:34:42,381
Speaker 3: like I don't think we're having sex, but they're really

797
00:34:42,382 --> 00:34:45,982
Speaker 3: going for it. And I remember thinking oh, and then

798
00:34:46,142 --> 00:34:48,622
Speaker 3: like ooh and then ah. But it took me back

799
00:34:48,781 --> 00:34:52,142
Speaker 3: very viscerally to times in my life where I didn't

800
00:34:52,142 --> 00:34:54,781
Speaker 3: have anywhere to go to have sex because of flatmates,

801
00:34:54,982 --> 00:34:57,622
Speaker 3: because you're sleeping on someone's couch because whatever, and like

802
00:34:58,142 --> 00:35:01,142
Speaker 3: I was traveling or whatever, and that there was a

803
00:35:01,261 --> 00:35:04,422
Speaker 3: very visceral need. You were seeing somebody and you're physically

804
00:35:04,502 --> 00:35:06,341
Speaker 3: obsessed with each other, and you're young and you're hot

805
00:35:06,382 --> 00:35:09,382
Speaker 3: and everything. There's that kind of public sex which is

806
00:35:09,741 --> 00:35:11,422
Speaker 3: like no one can see us. It's almost like you

807
00:35:11,422 --> 00:35:13,542
Speaker 3: think you're invisible, like an ostrich with their head in

808
00:35:13,582 --> 00:35:15,142
Speaker 3: the sun, Like no one can tell what we're doing,

809
00:35:15,142 --> 00:35:17,582
Speaker 3: and everyone can tell what you're doing. But then there's

810
00:35:17,822 --> 00:35:21,382
Speaker 3: public sex for the fun of it, right the borderline,

811
00:35:22,062 --> 00:35:23,142
Speaker 3: Oh we might get caught.

812
00:35:23,261 --> 00:35:25,901
Speaker 1: Yeah, So the hotel balcony that came up a lot

813
00:35:25,942 --> 00:35:27,942
Speaker 1: and someone said it would be easier for me to

814
00:35:27,942 --> 00:35:29,821
Speaker 1: list where I haven't had public sex, like.

815
00:35:30,302 --> 00:35:33,261
Speaker 3: Wow, well, because it's some people's kink, it's.

816
00:35:33,022 --> 00:35:35,862
Speaker 1: Their kink, right, But when I've seen the most public

817
00:35:35,902 --> 00:35:38,582
Speaker 1: sex has been traveling. So if you go to Italy

818
00:35:38,862 --> 00:35:41,662
Speaker 1: or Greece and you go, you know what, you're staying

819
00:35:41,661 --> 00:35:43,261
Speaker 1: at a hostel in a bunk bed.

820
00:35:43,382 --> 00:35:45,341
Speaker 4: Yeah, both of you are. You don't know what to do.

821
00:35:45,822 --> 00:35:49,861
Speaker 1: So you are currently on a beach lounge on a

822
00:35:49,862 --> 00:35:53,702
Speaker 1: pebbled beach and it's dark, but it's not that dark,

823
00:35:53,862 --> 00:35:55,742
Speaker 1: and we can hear you and see you and whatever.

824
00:35:55,781 --> 00:36:00,062
Speaker 1: But you just go, fine, fine, you guys have fun,

825
00:36:00,462 --> 00:36:04,502
Speaker 1: and that's totally fine. But I was reading about Japan

826
00:36:04,701 --> 00:36:08,261
Speaker 1: because in Japan they have something called love hotels.

827
00:36:08,622 --> 00:36:09,381
Speaker 4: Have you heard of this?

828
00:36:09,862 --> 00:36:12,702
Speaker 3: That's by the hour, right, yes, so fifteen minutes.

829
00:36:13,942 --> 00:36:15,142
Speaker 1: You don't want to pay for an hour and then

830
00:36:15,181 --> 00:36:17,701
Speaker 1: be like, oh, can I have a refund? Amelia told

831
00:36:17,741 --> 00:36:20,422
Speaker 1: me about it. So basically, there are more than thirty

832
00:36:20,462 --> 00:36:23,022
Speaker 1: seven thousand of these love hotels all over Japan. And

833
00:36:23,062 --> 00:36:25,301
Speaker 1: the reason why they're so big in Japan is because

834
00:36:25,302 --> 00:36:28,902
Speaker 1: of multigenerational living, yes and how and the close quarters

835
00:36:29,342 --> 00:36:32,142
Speaker 1: lots of apartment buildings with really really thin walls, So

836
00:36:32,261 --> 00:36:35,661
Speaker 1: it is totally customary that you m are going out

837
00:36:35,661 --> 00:36:37,381
Speaker 1: on a date and that you would book a love

838
00:36:37,382 --> 00:36:40,462
Speaker 1: hotel afterwards, and you can get a really yucky dingy

839
00:36:40,502 --> 00:36:43,382
Speaker 1: one that smells bad, or you could get a pimped

840
00:36:43,382 --> 00:36:48,781
Speaker 1: out mirror on the ceiling BDSM equipment, like all of

841
00:36:48,781 --> 00:36:49,741
Speaker 1: this stuff.

842
00:36:49,422 --> 00:36:51,902
Speaker 3: And the thing to cater to your particular need anything.

843
00:36:52,022 --> 00:36:54,461
Speaker 3: There's another market who need this, and that is we've

844
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:56,382
Speaker 3: touched on it the other week, but it's parents with

845
00:36:56,422 --> 00:37:00,062
Speaker 3: teenage kids at home, right, because once your kids stop

846
00:37:00,142 --> 00:37:02,661
Speaker 3: going to bed at a certain time and they're just

847
00:37:02,741 --> 00:37:05,262
Speaker 3: wandering around the house at all hours, and people's houses

848
00:37:05,261 --> 00:37:07,782
Speaker 3: are small and you've got thin walls and other things,

849
00:37:07,942 --> 00:37:09,661
Speaker 3: there are no times to have sex in your your

850
00:37:09,661 --> 00:37:11,982
Speaker 3: own home. So I feel like the middle aged people

851
00:37:12,022 --> 00:37:13,262
Speaker 3: also want the love hotels.

852
00:37:13,342 --> 00:37:15,862
Speaker 1: Also, you know who else needs them are people having affairs,

853
00:37:16,102 --> 00:37:18,382
Speaker 1: And I wonder if they are often forced into public

854
00:37:18,422 --> 00:37:20,421
Speaker 1: sex because it's like you can't go to your marital bed.

855
00:37:20,462 --> 00:37:21,662
Speaker 4: That would be disrespectful.

856
00:37:21,781 --> 00:37:24,381
Speaker 3: Well, that's what cars are for, obviously, and also why

857
00:37:24,422 --> 00:37:27,261
Speaker 3: in every American movie you always get busted having a

858
00:37:27,382 --> 00:37:29,701
Speaker 3: fair because your car is in the motel car Pa

859
00:37:30,221 --> 00:37:33,902
Speaker 3: but the gen z is not being able to afford

860
00:37:34,462 --> 00:37:36,742
Speaker 3: living by themselves or living with the roommates out of home.

861
00:37:37,181 --> 00:37:41,022
Speaker 1: It's actually affecting me even though I live alone, because

862
00:37:41,142 --> 00:37:42,382
Speaker 1: does it always have to be your place?

863
00:37:42,382 --> 00:37:43,502
Speaker 3: It's always at my place?

864
00:37:43,542 --> 00:37:46,102
Speaker 2: But even more so when you're living with your parents,

865
00:37:46,142 --> 00:37:49,022
Speaker 2: and even if you're an adult in your thirties, you

866
00:37:49,102 --> 00:37:52,062
Speaker 2: still have to tell them that you're going out to

867
00:37:52,462 --> 00:37:55,221
Speaker 2: have sex and then come back. I was seeing this

868
00:37:55,302 --> 00:37:58,102
Speaker 2: guy two years ago and he was living with his parents,

869
00:37:58,622 --> 00:38:00,142
Speaker 2: and it was always at my place. And then one

870
00:38:00,221 --> 00:38:02,341
Speaker 2: night he messaged me and he was like, Babe, come

871
00:38:02,342 --> 00:38:05,421
Speaker 2: over my parents on home and there's something so I'm

872
00:38:05,502 --> 00:38:09,342
Speaker 2: sexy with a twenty seven year old saying my parents

873
00:38:09,382 --> 00:38:12,022
Speaker 2: are Yeah.

874
00:38:12,102 --> 00:38:15,261
Speaker 1: After the break, we have some very special recommendations for

875
00:38:15,342 --> 00:38:18,382
Speaker 1: you that we have been waiting to shout from the rooftops.

876
00:38:18,422 --> 00:38:20,342
Speaker 4: We're going to tell you why some.

877
00:38:20,181 --> 00:38:24,221
Speaker 1: Of the best books of the year all dropped this week.

878
00:38:24,342 --> 00:38:28,102
Speaker 3: One unlimited out loud access. We dropped episodes every Tuesday

879
00:38:28,142 --> 00:38:32,181
Speaker 3: and Thursday exclusively for Mamma Mia subscribers. Follow the link

880
00:38:32,221 --> 00:38:33,982
Speaker 3: at the show notes to get us in your ears

881
00:38:34,221 --> 00:38:36,982
Speaker 3: five days a week, and a huge thank you to

882
00:38:37,142 --> 00:38:38,781
Speaker 3: all our current subscribers.

883
00:38:45,181 --> 00:38:49,062
Speaker 2: Vibes ideas atmosphere, something casual, something fun.

884
00:38:49,582 --> 00:38:51,142
Speaker 3: This is my best recommendation.

885
00:38:52,701 --> 00:38:55,062
Speaker 1: It's Friday, so we want to help set up your

886
00:38:55,142 --> 00:38:58,142
Speaker 1: weekend with our best recommendations. We have enough recommendations to

887
00:38:58,221 --> 00:38:59,661
Speaker 1: last fe a few months, I think we do.

888
00:38:59,862 --> 00:39:01,462
Speaker 4: This is the lead up to Christmas.

889
00:39:01,462 --> 00:39:03,422
Speaker 3: Some might say it's the week that all the books

890
00:39:03,462 --> 00:39:03,902
Speaker 3: come out.

891
00:39:03,942 --> 00:39:07,781
Speaker 1: Holly, please explain why it is that this kind of

892
00:39:07,822 --> 00:39:10,941
Speaker 1: first week of October. We've got as Sally Hepworth, We've

893
00:39:10,942 --> 00:39:13,661
Speaker 1: got a Trent Dalton, We've got a Claire Stevens, we've

894
00:39:13,701 --> 00:39:14,862
Speaker 1: got a Jane Harpark.

895
00:39:14,902 --> 00:39:15,942
Speaker 4: Why are they all dropping?

896
00:39:16,582 --> 00:39:19,782
Speaker 3: So September October is the big league of book release.

897
00:39:19,862 --> 00:39:21,941
Speaker 3: So there are a few times during the year when

898
00:39:21,982 --> 00:39:24,982
Speaker 3: people release books, when the publishing houses release books, and

899
00:39:25,022 --> 00:39:28,942
Speaker 3: they're all jostling for a bit of airtime for starters.

900
00:39:29,181 --> 00:39:32,142
Speaker 3: But also the lead up to Christmas is really big.

901
00:39:32,422 --> 00:39:34,901
Speaker 3: So in Britain it's actually called Super Thursday, and it's

902
00:39:34,902 --> 00:39:38,142
Speaker 3: the second Thursday in October when all the big big

903
00:39:38,181 --> 00:39:39,901
Speaker 3: guns will all come out and then they will all

904
00:39:39,982 --> 00:39:43,062
Speaker 3: jostle to be the number one Christmas book. Right, we're

905
00:39:43,062 --> 00:39:46,341
Speaker 3: not quite like that here, but the last week of September,

906
00:39:46,422 --> 00:39:48,661
Speaker 3: because books are always released on the last Tuesday of

907
00:39:48,701 --> 00:39:52,181
Speaker 3: the month. So my last book came out in the

908
00:39:52,261 --> 00:39:55,341
Speaker 3: last Tuesday of April, and the reason for that is

909
00:39:55,342 --> 00:39:57,181
Speaker 3: it was a lead up to Mother's Day release. That's

910
00:39:57,221 --> 00:40:00,822
Speaker 3: also quite a good window for what they call women's fiction.

911
00:40:00,942 --> 00:40:03,741
Speaker 3: So that's quite a good window. But the next really

912
00:40:03,781 --> 00:40:07,702
Speaker 3: good window is now, which is lead up to summer reading,

913
00:40:07,822 --> 00:40:11,142
Speaker 3: holiday reading, gifting. All those things give people a reason

914
00:40:11,181 --> 00:40:14,341
Speaker 3: to Bible. And what generally happens is, you know, the

915
00:40:14,462 --> 00:40:17,262
Speaker 3: really big names, you Jane Harper's and your big international

916
00:40:17,302 --> 00:40:19,502
Speaker 3: authors are going to go a little bit later, closer

917
00:40:19,542 --> 00:40:21,542
Speaker 3: to Christmas because they can afford to hold on a

918
00:40:21,622 --> 00:40:24,301
Speaker 3: little bit. And then this week is when all the

919
00:40:24,302 --> 00:40:26,622
Speaker 3: big books come out, and then they're all jostling. So

920
00:40:26,661 --> 00:40:29,261
Speaker 3: we're going to talk about some books that we read

921
00:40:29,302 --> 00:40:31,662
Speaker 3: ages ago that are coming out this week and whether

922
00:40:31,701 --> 00:40:33,982
Speaker 3: they are worth your time. Obviously, the recommendations that we're

923
00:40:34,022 --> 00:40:35,982
Speaker 3: giving you are all worth your time, and one of

924
00:40:35,982 --> 00:40:39,062
Speaker 3: them is Somebody very close to home. Yes, do you

925
00:40:39,062 --> 00:40:41,902
Speaker 3: want me to take Sally to take Mad Mabel?

926
00:40:42,102 --> 00:40:44,102
Speaker 4: Mad Mabel one of my favorite books of the year.

927
00:40:44,142 --> 00:40:45,022
Speaker 4: Please take it away.

928
00:40:45,102 --> 00:40:49,862
Speaker 3: Also, can I say excellent cover? Yes? So Sally Hepwuss

929
00:40:50,502 --> 00:40:55,382
Speaker 3: has become, without question, one of Australia's biggest writers, biggest

930
00:40:55,422 --> 00:40:58,661
Speaker 3: author's friend of the pod I sell. She was one

931
00:40:58,661 --> 00:41:00,542
Speaker 3: of the many people who texted me on Tuesday morning

932
00:41:00,622 --> 00:41:02,342
Speaker 3: said I hope you're doing an episode about Nicole and

933
00:41:02,422 --> 00:41:05,301
Speaker 3: Keith like we've got you.

934
00:41:05,462 --> 00:41:05,661
Speaker 1: Sal.

935
00:41:05,741 --> 00:41:08,302
Speaker 3: Don't worry when you ask Sally what kind of books

936
00:41:08,302 --> 00:41:10,022
Speaker 3: you write, because it's one of the hardest questions to

937
00:41:10,022 --> 00:41:12,741
Speaker 3: answer as an author. I think especially there's what kind

938
00:41:12,741 --> 00:41:14,542
Speaker 3: of books do you? People always ask you that when

939
00:41:14,582 --> 00:41:16,022
Speaker 3: you say I'm a writer, what kind of books do

940
00:41:16,022 --> 00:41:20,542
Speaker 3: you write? I don't know good ones, Sally says. She

941
00:41:20,862 --> 00:41:24,462
Speaker 3: writes about dysfunctional families with the side of murder. And

942
00:41:24,582 --> 00:41:26,821
Speaker 3: that is what all Sally's books are. And they are

943
00:41:26,942 --> 00:41:29,142
Speaker 3: all brilliant and I know out Loud has already loved them.

944
00:41:29,181 --> 00:41:31,221
Speaker 3: But the thing is is Sal for Ages was on

945
00:41:31,261 --> 00:41:33,301
Speaker 3: a one book a year. She was always had a

946
00:41:33,302 --> 00:41:36,102
Speaker 3: book out, so everyone had all the Salis. You knew

947
00:41:36,142 --> 00:41:37,661
Speaker 3: every year you're going to go to Sally. And then

948
00:41:37,862 --> 00:41:40,221
Speaker 3: the last couple of years she's left us hanging. She

949
00:41:40,261 --> 00:41:42,821
Speaker 3: did an Adele. She did an adele, she decided she

950
00:41:42,862 --> 00:41:45,582
Speaker 3: needed a bit more time, and so Mad Mabel, I

951
00:41:45,582 --> 00:41:49,181
Speaker 3: feel like there's even more like anticipation for it because

952
00:41:49,181 --> 00:41:52,181
Speaker 3: we've been a bit staffed of self. So very top line,

953
00:41:52,382 --> 00:41:55,821
Speaker 3: Mad Mabel is about this fiction, obviously, as her books are,

954
00:41:56,022 --> 00:41:58,542
Speaker 3: is about the youngest woman to be convicted of murder

955
00:41:58,542 --> 00:42:01,502
Speaker 3: in Australia, and it's now visiting Mad Mabel as she

956
00:42:01,622 --> 00:42:04,021
Speaker 3: was called in the press, as a much older woman

957
00:42:04,062 --> 00:42:06,462
Speaker 3: and elderly woman looking back at her life. Right. Oh,

958
00:42:07,181 --> 00:42:10,822
Speaker 3: in the first pages of the book, just the voice

959
00:42:11,022 --> 00:42:14,582
Speaker 3: of this character is so stark, and she's so funny

960
00:42:14,622 --> 00:42:17,941
Speaker 3: and cutting and interesting, and as Sally Oas does, there's

961
00:42:17,942 --> 00:42:20,341
Speaker 3: a hook on every page. You're like, Oh, I can't

962
00:42:20,342 --> 00:42:22,862
Speaker 3: believe what's going to happen next. It's so great.

963
00:42:23,022 --> 00:42:23,622
Speaker 4: It's so great.

964
00:42:24,781 --> 00:42:28,062
Speaker 1: I raced through it, absolutely loved it, Mad Mabel. And

965
00:42:28,102 --> 00:42:30,301
Speaker 1: the other one, Holly, that you wanted to recommend is

966
00:42:30,342 --> 00:42:31,301
Speaker 1: Trent Dlton's new.

967
00:42:31,181 --> 00:42:35,062
Speaker 3: One, Trent Dalton's new one Gravity, let Me Go Now Again,

968
00:42:35,221 --> 00:42:39,342
Speaker 3: Australian Treasure Trent Dalton. Everybody loves Trent and his books

969
00:42:39,382 --> 00:42:42,542
Speaker 3: ever since. Obviously, Boyce Waller's Universe are always a major event.

970
00:42:42,902 --> 00:42:44,901
Speaker 3: And he's done nonfiction in that time, he's done love

971
00:42:44,942 --> 00:42:47,582
Speaker 3: stories and so on. This is a novel. It is great.

972
00:42:47,661 --> 00:42:50,821
Speaker 3: It's a murder mystery, but it's got the character and

973
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,062
Speaker 3: he says it's its most personal ever, and you can

974
00:42:53,102 --> 00:42:55,301
Speaker 3: totally see that. The main character in this is a

975
00:42:55,302 --> 00:42:57,622
Speaker 3: crime writer from Brisbane. All Trent's books are set in

976
00:42:57,622 --> 00:43:00,982
Speaker 3: suburban Brisbane. It's like the suburbs are living and breathing

977
00:43:01,022 --> 00:43:03,701
Speaker 3: and the pavements are hissing through the pages. But it's

978
00:43:03,701 --> 00:43:06,221
Speaker 3: a true crime writer who's had a big hit with

979
00:43:06,302 --> 00:43:10,342
Speaker 3: this unsolved murder book, and that's really interesting. Plot runs

980
00:43:10,342 --> 00:43:12,382
Speaker 3: through the book of like what really happened with that

981
00:43:12,502 --> 00:43:14,661
Speaker 3: and who did that murder and that stuff. So there's that,

982
00:43:15,142 --> 00:43:18,341
Speaker 3: but also it's about the effect of this obsession on

983
00:43:18,422 --> 00:43:21,302
Speaker 3: the writer, which is very much a Trent Dalton squ character.

984
00:43:21,342 --> 00:43:23,821
Speaker 3: He's got a wife and two teenage kids, and the

985
00:43:23,862 --> 00:43:26,542
Speaker 3: effect of his sort of, as he writes it, his

986
00:43:26,582 --> 00:43:29,622
Speaker 3: self obsession of disappearing into this story and becoming so

987
00:43:29,701 --> 00:43:31,622
Speaker 3: obsessed with it and what that's done to his marriage

988
00:43:31,661 --> 00:43:34,022
Speaker 3: to his wife, his kids. One day, his wife just

989
00:43:34,022 --> 00:43:36,901
Speaker 3: stops talking, just wait up and just stops talking, and

990
00:43:37,022 --> 00:43:40,662
Speaker 3: it's like a really interesting meditation on long term relationships,

991
00:43:41,142 --> 00:43:45,022
Speaker 3: what women will put up with, what our obsession with

992
00:43:45,102 --> 00:43:47,302
Speaker 3: our work and our status can do to our families,

993
00:43:47,342 --> 00:43:49,902
Speaker 3: as well as just having all of the charm that

994
00:43:49,982 --> 00:43:52,022
Speaker 3: is writing always does, and this really good mystery at

995
00:43:52,022 --> 00:43:54,142
Speaker 3: the center of it. I loved it and I would

996
00:43:54,221 --> 00:43:57,142
Speaker 3: highly recommend both of those two also great presents.

997
00:43:57,342 --> 00:43:59,381
Speaker 4: Can't wait to read Trance. Look.

998
00:43:59,422 --> 00:44:03,102
Speaker 1: My recommendation is my twin sister, Claire Stevens. Her book

999
00:44:03,502 --> 00:44:07,222
Speaker 1: was officially published this week. It is called the worst

1000
00:44:07,221 --> 00:44:11,142
Speaker 1: thing I've ever done anyone in the public eye. And

1001
00:44:11,142 --> 00:44:12,661
Speaker 1: there's a lot of people in the public eye who

1002
00:44:12,701 --> 00:44:15,622
Speaker 1: got an early copy of this book and they have

1003
00:44:15,822 --> 00:44:18,941
Speaker 1: just messaged her and gone, oh my god, you got it,

1004
00:44:19,062 --> 00:44:22,622
Speaker 1: like you absolutely nailed it. She's got this incredible endorsement

1005
00:44:22,661 --> 00:44:26,221
Speaker 1: from Tim Minchin, who said that she wides barefooted and

1006
00:44:26,261 --> 00:44:30,102
Speaker 1: open hearted into the toxic swamp of psychopathic social justice

1007
00:44:30,142 --> 00:44:33,422
Speaker 1: bullying and emerges with a moving and entertaining tale for

1008
00:44:33,462 --> 00:44:37,301
Speaker 1: our times. You may presume the online madness is exaggerated,

1009
00:44:37,502 --> 00:44:41,382
Speaker 1: trust me, it ain't, and that's exactly right. It's an

1010
00:44:41,422 --> 00:44:44,422
Speaker 1: unflinching look at digital media, which I think will make

1011
00:44:44,542 --> 00:44:46,902
Speaker 1: us all feel a bit uncomfortable because it is so

1012
00:44:46,902 --> 00:44:51,142
Speaker 1: so close, very close. It's about the experience of public

1013
00:44:51,221 --> 00:44:55,301
Speaker 1: shaming and the way the Internet refuses to forgive, but

1014
00:44:55,342 --> 00:44:57,622
Speaker 1: then also the grace and love we show in.

1015
00:44:57,462 --> 00:44:58,782
Speaker 4: Our private lives.

1016
00:44:59,502 --> 00:45:01,902
Speaker 1: But what everyone's going to be talking about is the

1017
00:45:02,022 --> 00:45:05,381
Speaker 1: big twist. It has a massive twist at the end

1018
00:45:05,862 --> 00:45:10,902
Speaker 1: that is incredibly unexpected. It is just outstanding. The reviews

1019
00:45:10,942 --> 00:45:13,821
Speaker 1: the feedback have been amazing. You have to go and

1020
00:45:13,862 --> 00:45:14,181
Speaker 1: read it.

1021
00:45:14,302 --> 00:45:16,221
Speaker 3: Yeah, you're going to be seeing it everywhere. Yeah, and

1022
00:45:16,261 --> 00:45:17,821
Speaker 3: I know that when people listening to this ago, you

1023
00:45:17,902 --> 00:45:20,342
Speaker 3: know all those people, but it's like, these are the

1024
00:45:20,342 --> 00:45:23,582
Speaker 3: books you're going to be seeing everywhere. Yeah, and they

1025
00:45:23,622 --> 00:45:27,022
Speaker 3: are all worth your time. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of Clasty,

1026
00:45:27,102 --> 00:45:29,062
Speaker 3: and she's been doing a lot, She's been busy, gat

1027
00:45:29,502 --> 00:45:31,781
Speaker 3: It's been a very clear Steven this kind of time.

1028
00:45:32,661 --> 00:45:34,701
Speaker 1: She was on No Filter this week with Kate lane Brook.

1029
00:45:34,741 --> 00:45:36,302
Speaker 1: That episode is going off.

1030
00:45:36,181 --> 00:45:37,062
Speaker 3: Same day as No Filter.

1031
00:45:37,102 --> 00:45:41,741
Speaker 2: On Monday, her podcast The Pylon dropped with two episodes

1032
00:45:41,822 --> 00:45:45,022
Speaker 2: with Hannah Ferguson, who's the co founder and CEO of

1033
00:45:45,221 --> 00:45:48,982
Speaker 2: Cheek Media. I think this podcast goes really well with

1034
00:45:49,102 --> 00:45:51,782
Speaker 2: the book she's just written, and I have my copy

1035
00:45:51,822 --> 00:45:53,261
Speaker 2: and I'm waiting for the long weekend so i can

1036
00:45:53,261 --> 00:45:57,742
Speaker 2: read it. But I just forgot how much I loved

1037
00:45:58,102 --> 00:46:02,301
Speaker 2: Claire's interviewing style, even when she was editor here at

1038
00:46:02,582 --> 00:46:04,422
Speaker 2: Me and a boss, like I remember, like we just

1039
00:46:04,502 --> 00:46:06,301
Speaker 2: be in these like pitch meetings, and the way she

1040
00:46:06,342 --> 00:46:10,982
Speaker 2: would explain stories was just so well done and so thoughtful.

1041
00:46:11,382 --> 00:46:14,382
Speaker 2: And I listened to both of these. So she dropped

1042
00:46:14,382 --> 00:46:16,582
Speaker 2: the first two episodes with Hannah Ferguson, and I listened

1043
00:46:16,582 --> 00:46:17,902
Speaker 2: to both of them back to back because I was

1044
00:46:17,982 --> 00:46:18,781
Speaker 2: just it was.

1045
00:46:18,781 --> 00:46:20,502
Speaker 3: Just so.

1046
00:46:20,181 --> 00:46:23,022
Speaker 2: Good, and I was really nervous to listen to it

1047
00:46:23,542 --> 00:46:27,102
Speaker 2: because with these podcasts where it's like the Pylon and

1048
00:46:27,142 --> 00:46:30,742
Speaker 2: talking about like the over critique that someone's faced, especially

1049
00:46:30,741 --> 00:46:33,261
Speaker 2: in media, I'm always scared that they're going to get

1050
00:46:33,302 --> 00:46:35,981
Speaker 2: an over generous edit and it will change like point

1051
00:46:36,022 --> 00:46:38,382
Speaker 2: of views. But it really didn't like she kind of

1052
00:46:38,462 --> 00:46:41,502
Speaker 2: let Hannah just take whatever she wanted to say and

1053
00:46:41,542 --> 00:46:43,982
Speaker 2: like make her own story out of it, and I

1054
00:46:43,982 --> 00:46:46,341
Speaker 2: thought it was just so so well done.

1055
00:46:46,382 --> 00:46:48,542
Speaker 3: It's a little bit of that interview I struggled with

1056
00:46:48,582 --> 00:46:51,821
Speaker 3: a little bit. I have to say, might make out

1057
00:46:51,862 --> 00:46:54,102
Speaker 3: loud as we listened to it. But there's a little

1058
00:46:54,102 --> 00:46:56,942
Speaker 3: bit where Claire asks.

1059
00:46:56,622 --> 00:46:58,622
Speaker 2: I know what I'm gonna say, And I also got

1060
00:46:58,622 --> 00:47:01,942
Speaker 2: a bite and about a story that Jesse wrote for

1061
00:47:02,022 --> 00:47:05,701
Speaker 2: Mom and Meat some years ago that Cheak media critiques.

1062
00:47:05,862 --> 00:47:07,942
Speaker 3: And it's really interesting the way that they have that

1063
00:47:07,942 --> 00:47:09,982
Speaker 3: conversation and both of them welcome it it with an

1064
00:47:09,982 --> 00:47:12,102
Speaker 3: open heart. But I found some parts of that quite

1065
00:47:12,102 --> 00:47:13,542
Speaker 3: hard to listen to. I'm just going to say, I

1066
00:47:13,542 --> 00:47:16,422
Speaker 3: think it's did you know like that was going to happen?

1067
00:47:16,542 --> 00:47:18,901
Speaker 1: Yes, Claire played it to me before and she said, like,

1068
00:47:18,982 --> 00:47:20,542
Speaker 1: are you comfortable with it? I'll cut it if you're not,

1069
00:47:20,661 --> 00:47:22,661
Speaker 1: And I was like, no, I think that it's important

1070
00:47:22,701 --> 00:47:26,301
Speaker 1: that it sits there. And you can kind of disagree

1071
00:47:26,622 --> 00:47:30,741
Speaker 1: with how that whole thing played out. She talks in

1072
00:47:30,781 --> 00:47:32,542
Speaker 1: it about how there was just a disagreement on the

1073
00:47:32,542 --> 00:47:35,821
Speaker 1: internet and how we then reference that disagreement behind a

1074
00:47:35,862 --> 00:47:39,102
Speaker 1: subscriber episode and the reason and we weren't in the

1075
00:47:39,181 --> 00:47:41,422
Speaker 1: room so we couldn't say this, But the reason that

1076
00:47:41,462 --> 00:47:44,301
Speaker 1: we didn't name her or name Cheek in that conversation

1077
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:46,982
Speaker 1: was actually because we didn't want to set people on them,

1078
00:47:47,342 --> 00:47:51,182
Speaker 1: not because we didn't want to, you know them traffic anyway.

1079
00:47:51,261 --> 00:47:53,861
Speaker 3: It's a bit weedy, it's a bit, but it's it's

1080
00:47:53,982 --> 00:47:56,382
Speaker 3: really interesting. I think one of the things about obviously

1081
00:47:56,382 --> 00:47:59,022
Speaker 3: Claire's book and the podcast is that it's very behind

1082
00:47:59,062 --> 00:48:01,462
Speaker 3: the scenes of this world that we all live in,

1083
00:48:01,542 --> 00:48:02,901
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So I think that if

1084
00:48:02,902 --> 00:48:07,342
Speaker 3: you've ever wondered, like, what's it like to have every

1085
00:48:07,382 --> 00:48:10,901
Speaker 3: word you know, dissected, have people so many opinions about you,

1086
00:48:10,982 --> 00:48:12,821
Speaker 3: be at the bottom of a pylon, if you've wondered

1087
00:48:12,862 --> 00:48:14,982
Speaker 3: what it's the last stuff it's really it's going to

1088
00:48:15,022 --> 00:48:15,301
Speaker 3: tell you.

1089
00:48:15,382 --> 00:48:18,142
Speaker 1: Yeah, And to be Hannah Ferguson at a time when

1090
00:48:18,181 --> 00:48:23,821
Speaker 1: the criticism is so ruthless, just awful, and Claire did

1091
00:48:23,822 --> 00:48:27,421
Speaker 1: this interview and then the next week probably one of

1092
00:48:27,462 --> 00:48:31,502
Speaker 1: the most kind of awful moments of Hannah Ferguson's career

1093
00:48:31,701 --> 00:48:33,622
Speaker 1: came and Claire sat down with her again, and that's

1094
00:48:33,661 --> 00:48:36,422
Speaker 1: why you get part two. And I just think that

1095
00:48:36,462 --> 00:48:39,582
Speaker 1: the candidness, the generosity of Hannah to actually share it

1096
00:48:39,661 --> 00:48:42,661
Speaker 1: is really brave, because you do have these conversations with

1097
00:48:42,701 --> 00:48:45,861
Speaker 1: people in media when no one else is listening, So

1098
00:48:45,902 --> 00:48:47,942
Speaker 1: to put it on a public platform I think is

1099
00:48:47,942 --> 00:48:48,941
Speaker 1: a really powerful thing.

1100
00:48:49,382 --> 00:48:51,341
Speaker 3: Yeah, we're living at a time right now where there

1101
00:48:51,342 --> 00:48:55,462
Speaker 3: are people saying awful, heenous things about these young women

1102
00:48:55,661 --> 00:48:59,502
Speaker 3: are just I can't anyway, It's very interesting. So that's

1103
00:48:59,622 --> 00:49:02,421
Speaker 3: lots of things you to read and listen to. There

1104
00:49:02,462 --> 00:49:04,022
Speaker 3: are more big books coming out this week that I'm

1105
00:49:04,022 --> 00:49:07,181
Speaker 3: sure we'll be recommending it over the next few weeks too,

1106
00:49:07,582 --> 00:49:10,382
Speaker 3: But I think that's about it for today. A big

1107
00:49:10,422 --> 00:49:12,341
Speaker 3: thank you to all of you out louders for being

1108
00:49:12,422 --> 00:49:14,582
Speaker 3: here with us this week as always, and to our

1109
00:49:14,622 --> 00:49:17,702
Speaker 3: fabulous team for putting the show together. Don't forget friends

1110
00:49:17,701 --> 00:49:20,862
Speaker 3: to listen to Parenting out Loud. There's a new episode

1111
00:49:20,902 --> 00:49:24,781
Speaker 3: dropping tomorrow where Amelia and Mon's and Stacy are going

1112
00:49:24,822 --> 00:49:27,662
Speaker 3: to talk about the eldest Daughter theory and what Taylor

1113
00:49:27,701 --> 00:49:30,662
Speaker 3: Swift has to do with it. Find Parenting out Loud

1114
00:49:30,701 --> 00:49:33,582
Speaker 3: in its own feed by searching for Parenting out Loud

1115
00:49:33,622 --> 00:49:36,341
Speaker 3: and tapping follows so you don't miss a single episode.

1116
00:49:36,622 --> 00:49:39,022
Speaker 4: A big thank you to our team.

1117
00:49:39,221 --> 00:49:41,301
Speaker 1: I want to just give a very special shout out

1118
00:49:41,302 --> 00:49:45,502
Speaker 1: to our long time executive producer Emily and Cazillis, who

1119
00:49:45,502 --> 00:49:49,181
Speaker 1: this week goes off to have her first baby, and

1120
00:49:49,382 --> 00:49:53,701
Speaker 1: that woman has smiled every day.

1121
00:49:53,982 --> 00:49:57,062
Speaker 3: Oh my god, she's amazing. Weird, Like, I will miss

1122
00:49:57,181 --> 00:50:00,142
Speaker 3: m so much because she is the calm, heartbeat of

1123
00:50:00,181 --> 00:50:02,462
Speaker 3: this show, and like we're so happy for her.

1124
00:50:02,582 --> 00:50:04,862
Speaker 1: I just keep saying nothing has prepared her for the

1125
00:50:04,902 --> 00:50:07,781
Speaker 1: newborn period more than us bitches keeping her on her

1126
00:50:07,822 --> 00:50:09,942
Speaker 1: eyes and the stress. I'm like, you will find this

1127
00:50:10,102 --> 00:50:13,341
Speaker 1: so relaxing. Actually, so we wish her the best of life.

1128
00:50:13,342 --> 00:50:14,582
Speaker 4: We are going to miss her so much.

1129
00:50:14,902 --> 00:50:20,102
Speaker 1: Group executive producer Ruth Devine, our producer Sashritanic.

1130
00:50:19,582 --> 00:50:22,742
Speaker 2: Our senior audio producer is Leah Porges, our video producer

1131
00:50:22,862 --> 00:50:25,862
Speaker 2: is Josh Green, and our junior content producers are Coco

1132
00:50:26,022 --> 00:50:26,542
Speaker 2: and Testa.

1133
00:50:26,862 --> 00:50:28,982
Speaker 1: And if you're looking for something else to listen to,

1134
00:50:29,302 --> 00:50:33,021
Speaker 1: yesterday subscriber episode, we had a lot of fun. We

1135
00:50:33,502 --> 00:50:37,901
Speaker 1: talked about all the things that make someone cool or

1136
00:50:38,261 --> 00:50:39,861
Speaker 1: rock and roll was the term.

1137
00:50:39,942 --> 00:50:43,261
Speaker 4: There was this viral video about very specific things that

1138
00:50:43,302 --> 00:50:44,102
Speaker 4: make people cool.

1139
00:50:44,142 --> 00:50:47,062
Speaker 1: We shared our own list, most of them didn't apply

1140
00:50:47,142 --> 00:50:50,142
Speaker 1: to us at all. And also on Monday show we

1141
00:50:50,342 --> 00:50:52,422
Speaker 1: talked about sharing personal news at work, which has been

1142
00:50:52,422 --> 00:50:55,821
Speaker 1: coming up on this podcast. We will put a link

1143
00:50:55,902 --> 00:50:57,902
Speaker 1: to all of those episodes in our show notes.

1144
00:50:58,261 --> 00:51:01,262
Speaker 3: Enjoy your long weekend. If you're getting one out Louders by.

1145
00:51:01,902 --> 00:51:05,862
Speaker 1: Sea, shout out to any mum and me as subscribers listening.

1146
00:51:06,142 --> 00:51:08,261
Speaker 1: If you love the show and you want to support us,

1147
00:51:08,502 --> 00:51:11,022
Speaker 1: subscribing to mom Oh may I is the very best

1148
00:51:11,062 --> 00:51:11,821
Speaker 1: way to do so.

1149
00:51:12,181 --> 00:51:13,942
Speaker 4: There's a link in the episode description