WEBVTT - What Happened To Sophie Delezio [re-release] 0:00:10.405 --> 0:00:14.405 You're listening to a mother and Mia podcast. Mama Miya 0:00:14.485 --> 0:00:17.125 acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this 0:00:17.165 --> 0:00:20.685 podcast is recorded on. Hello, it's me a popping into 0:00:20.845 --> 0:00:24.645 ears because I wanted to reshare one of our most 0:00:24.685 --> 0:00:27.365 downloaded episodes of No Filter ever. It was an interview 0:00:27.405 --> 0:00:32.365 that I did with Sophie Dalzzio and twenty twenty. She 0:00:32.645 --> 0:00:36.125 was a name that many people knew, and you'll hear 0:00:36.165 --> 0:00:39.445 a little bit about her experience in a second from her. 0:00:40.165 --> 0:00:44.485 But the update is that her personal life has taken 0:00:44.725 --> 0:00:48.245 a really beautiful turn. She reconnected with a man called 0:00:48.325 --> 0:00:51.045 Joseph Soileno, who was a friend that she'd known since 0:00:51.085 --> 0:00:53.605 she was six years old. They got engaged in twenty 0:00:53.645 --> 0:00:56.685 twenty three, and in September last year, Sophie and Joseph 0:00:57.285 --> 0:01:01.685 had a little boy called Frankie. Here's my conversation with 0:01:01.845 --> 0:01:05.885 Sophie Dalzsio. It's one of the most extraordinary stories ever 0:01:05.965 --> 0:01:08.525 been told on this show. Hi. 0:01:12.205 --> 0:01:15.165 Yes, Yes, Elbot. 0:01:17.805 --> 0:01:22.845 You for having us. You'll remember her name, and if 0:01:22.885 --> 0:01:24.845 it just rings a bell but you can't place it, 0:01:25.085 --> 0:01:29.165 you'll remember her story. On an ordinary day in two 0:01:29.245 --> 0:01:32.205 thousand and three, an elderly driver crashed into a Sydney 0:01:32.285 --> 0:01:36.125 childcare center, pinning two toddlers underneath the burning car. It 0:01:36.165 --> 0:01:38.125 was right before Christmas and all the kids were having 0:01:38.205 --> 0:01:42.645 nap time, excitedly waiting for Santa to visit. Two year 0:01:42.685 --> 0:01:46.165 old Sophie Delizio and her little friend Molly Wood were 0:01:46.205 --> 0:01:49.005 horribly injured and for a time it wasn't known if 0:01:49.005 --> 0:01:52.205 Sophie would survive. She had burns to eighty five percent 0:01:52.405 --> 0:01:55.005 of her tiny body. She lost both her legs below 0:01:55.005 --> 0:01:59.125 her knee, her right hand and her right ear. She survived, 0:01:59.125 --> 0:02:02.245 though she left hospital. Her family and it seemed all 0:02:02.245 --> 0:02:07.445 of Australia celebrated a miracle. And then, unbelievably, less than 0:02:07.445 --> 0:02:11.365 three years later, Sophie was here by another car whose 0:02:11.445 --> 0:02:15.445 driver had a seizure, just as her nanny carefully pushed 0:02:15.445 --> 0:02:19.885 her wheelchair across the pedestrian crossing. This time the car 0:02:19.925 --> 0:02:23.645 through Sophie more than eighteen meters from her wheelchair. She 0:02:23.725 --> 0:02:27.285 had a broken jaw, broken ribs, fractured collar bone and 0:02:27.325 --> 0:02:29.725 a punctured lung, as well as bleeding on her brain 0:02:30.125 --> 0:02:34.405 and a heart attack. Again, she nearly died, and again 0:02:34.965 --> 0:02:39.205 Australia prayed for Sophie. But after all of that, Sophie 0:02:39.205 --> 0:02:44.245 lived and how she lived today, she's one of the 0:02:44.325 --> 0:02:47.645 most remarkable nineteen year olds you could ever hope to meet. 0:02:47.845 --> 0:02:50.485 For me, and my prosthetics are my main type of freedom. 0:02:50.845 --> 0:02:53.085 I'm happy to use my wheelchair outside the house, but 0:02:53.725 --> 0:02:55.885 I need my prosthetics to drive my car. I need 0:02:55.885 --> 0:02:58.405 my prosthetics to, you know, if I'm out of place 0:02:58.445 --> 0:03:01.405 with stairs, to walk up the stairs. So I think 0:03:01.445 --> 0:03:04.045 the hardest days are the ones where I just have 0:03:04.165 --> 0:03:04.765 to do nothing. 0:03:05.365 --> 0:03:07.965 From Mamma Maya, I'm Meya Friedman, and you're listening to 0:03:07.965 --> 0:03:12.085 No Filter, a weekly podcasts with people like Sophie who 0:03:12.085 --> 0:03:14.805 tell their stories very candidly and aren't afraid to be 0:03:14.885 --> 0:03:19.005 all kinds of vulnerable. Today I am speaking to that 0:03:19.085 --> 0:03:24.645 little girl, Sophie Delizio and her mum Caroline Carolyn. What's that? 0:03:24.965 --> 0:03:26.925 It's just such a funny interview because I'm saying, what's 0:03:26.965 --> 0:03:29.445 the best way to talk to you about it? Because 0:03:29.485 --> 0:03:32.405 I guess in another situation I would say, so tell 0:03:32.405 --> 0:03:35.805 me about the day. But I just feel instinctively that 0:03:35.885 --> 0:03:38.005 I don't want to make you relive it in that way. 0:03:38.245 --> 0:03:40.725 So I want to ask you about the first couple 0:03:40.765 --> 0:03:43.045 of years of your life, of which you'll have no 0:03:43.165 --> 0:03:46.405 memory of it. See what was family life like? 0:03:46.805 --> 0:03:50.125 Well, it was pretty chaotic because we were told when 0:03:50.245 --> 0:03:52.645 the exitent version that we've been living in hospital was 0:03:52.725 --> 0:03:55.085 so for a year, and we made it out after 0:03:55.125 --> 0:03:57.925 six and a half months, and that to me was 0:03:57.925 --> 0:04:02.045 a testament to her true grit and equally the team 0:04:02.085 --> 0:04:05.125 of medical practitioners and support people we had around us 0:04:05.165 --> 0:04:07.405 at the time that allowed us to get out the 0:04:07.405 --> 0:04:09.685 doors of the hospital. You don't want to spend any 0:04:09.725 --> 0:04:12.485 more time in hospital than you can because there's sick people, 0:04:12.565 --> 0:04:16.085 it's infection, there's a greater risk in hospital than being 0:04:16.125 --> 0:04:18.725 out of hospital. So the time was to come and 0:04:18.885 --> 0:04:23.005 we moved home and had round the nursing care for 0:04:23.085 --> 0:04:26.605 the remainder of the year, so twenty four our care 0:04:26.685 --> 0:04:28.685 nursing care to support us support. 0:04:28.805 --> 0:04:32.125 So it's so funny I asked you about the first 0:04:32.165 --> 0:04:34.405 two years, and you went straight to after the accident. 0:04:35.045 --> 0:04:37.765 I actually met before the accident, the first two years 0:04:37.805 --> 0:04:41.205 of her life, not the first two years. After day, 0:04:42.325 --> 0:04:44.725 because I keep thinking, I'm sure you've read Lee Sales 0:04:44.765 --> 0:04:48.565 is an incredible book. Any ordinary day about how when 0:04:48.645 --> 0:04:52.525 big traumatic things happen, life is pretty ordinary until that 0:04:52.645 --> 0:04:55.965 moment when it happens suddenly it is really so what 0:04:56.045 --> 0:04:57.245 was your ordinary life like? 0:04:57.445 --> 0:04:59.925 Well, Ron and I were both running our own businesses. 0:05:00.165 --> 0:05:05.005 It was that juggle of parents managing work and little kids, 0:05:05.125 --> 0:05:06.885 little babies. 0:05:06.365 --> 0:05:08.845 And two and four with Mitch four and you were to. 0:05:09.525 --> 0:05:13.085 Two and four and finding the right daycres. And we'd 0:05:13.165 --> 0:05:16.525 moved from Erskine where we lived, and we had built 0:05:16.645 --> 0:05:18.605 a house and see fourth and it was kind of like, 0:05:19.085 --> 0:05:20.725 you know, we don't have we haven't been on our 0:05:20.725 --> 0:05:24.445 list for long enough for daycare. You go into the 0:05:24.525 --> 0:05:26.925 card of the oh, no, I failed as a parent 0:05:27.485 --> 0:05:29.245 because I haven't kind of got. 0:05:29.045 --> 0:05:33.165 There maybe when that was your biggest problem, you know, 0:05:33.765 --> 0:05:35.605 daycare because of splash school. 0:05:35.725 --> 0:05:36.925 You know, that's sort of focus. 0:05:37.405 --> 0:05:40.325 So if I don't remember being two or three, or 0:05:40.565 --> 0:05:42.525 I think my first memory kicks in around four, but 0:05:42.565 --> 0:05:46.965 that's because my childhood was fairly unremarkable. What's your first memory? 0:05:47.565 --> 0:05:51.365 I honestly have no idea. My brain's like some things 0:05:51.445 --> 0:05:53.285 I don't know if they're memories or like things have 0:05:53.405 --> 0:05:55.605 just made up in my mind, or being told stories 0:05:55.605 --> 0:06:00.405 that you've heard, Yeah, for example, yeah, exactly. So I 0:06:00.445 --> 0:06:04.725 think my first memory is at a Christmas tree. I 0:06:04.725 --> 0:06:07.525 can't remember if I was injured, like disabled or not. 0:06:07.885 --> 0:06:10.365 I have no recollection of that. I just remember Dad 0:06:10.365 --> 0:06:11.965 lifted me up and putting the still on top of 0:06:12.005 --> 0:06:15.165 the Christmas tree. So I think that's my first memory. 0:06:15.205 --> 0:06:17.405 But again, Christmas comes about every year. It could be 0:06:17.445 --> 0:06:19.565 any of those years, and you could have seen it 0:06:19.605 --> 0:06:22.045 in a photo exactly, because I know this photos around 0:06:22.085 --> 0:06:22.445 that tree. 0:06:22.525 --> 0:06:25.085 Do you remember hospital the first time? Nope, I don't 0:06:25.125 --> 0:06:26.245 hospital the second time. 0:06:26.445 --> 0:06:29.085 Nope. I have no recollection of hospitals at that time, 0:06:29.405 --> 0:06:33.245 but I have, like, I get these feelings whenever I 0:06:33.325 --> 0:06:36.325 go into because I went to Children's Hospital at Westmead 0:06:36.885 --> 0:06:40.645 and there's this one room where I remember the feeling 0:06:40.685 --> 0:06:43.325 of being in when I had one of my accents 0:06:43.445 --> 0:06:46.085 or a major surgery, and I just remember ufter pain. 0:06:46.645 --> 0:06:48.925 I can't remember the moment or anything, but I can't 0:06:48.925 --> 0:06:49.485 go into that. 0:06:49.485 --> 0:06:52.405 Room still to the state a specific room in Yeah, it's. 0:06:52.285 --> 0:06:54.645 One room with a silver bath tub in the middle 0:06:54.645 --> 0:06:58.445 where i'd get cleaned and they'd strip all my bandages down. Yeah, 0:06:58.525 --> 0:07:01.125 that was not my favorite room in the hospital. But 0:07:01.165 --> 0:07:03.845 that's the only like feeling I have from the early 0:07:03.925 --> 0:07:04.285 days of. 0:07:04.285 --> 0:07:07.405 Hospital, because I imagine it would all have just blurred, 0:07:07.565 --> 0:07:07.925 like the. 0:07:07.845 --> 0:07:11.045 Operations as the and the high amount of medication I 0:07:11.125 --> 0:07:13.125 was on kind of dulled it in my brain, and 0:07:13.165 --> 0:07:15.845 the protective mechanisms like blocking it out of my mind 0:07:15.965 --> 0:07:16.485 sort of thing. 0:07:16.605 --> 0:07:20.205 So how about you have got very strong memories? Yeah, 0:07:20.325 --> 0:07:21.085 in different ways. 0:07:21.125 --> 0:07:23.525 And it's interesting because I'll talk to friends and they go, well, 0:07:23.565 --> 0:07:26.565 remember that, Oh, yes, I do now now that you've 0:07:26.605 --> 0:07:30.045 reminded me. And it's not from necessarily blocking things out, 0:07:30.085 --> 0:07:32.645 but you move on to some of the specifics of 0:07:32.725 --> 0:07:36.245 the events. And it was four and a half months 0:07:36.245 --> 0:07:37.965 before we were told whether she would live or not, 0:07:38.605 --> 0:07:41.405 so you kind of live every day knowing that that 0:07:41.445 --> 0:07:44.485 could be her last and so your focus is just 0:07:44.565 --> 0:07:48.605 on that day. Some of the small, you know, things 0:07:48.605 --> 0:07:51.245 that happened slip away in the memory bank. 0:07:51.645 --> 0:07:54.005 I've heard Sophie talk about the fact that you were 0:07:54.285 --> 0:07:56.965 asked whether you wanted to turn her life support off. 0:07:57.925 --> 0:08:00.445 Was that one conversation or was that sort of a 0:08:00.565 --> 0:08:03.965 series of conversations over that time when she was critically ill. 0:08:04.085 --> 0:08:06.125 It was when she was in intensive care. She was 0:08:06.125 --> 0:08:08.685 an intensive pier about two and a half months, so 0:08:08.765 --> 0:08:11.725 we were given We're given the option twice actually in 0:08:11.765 --> 0:08:12.765 the first week. 0:08:13.245 --> 0:08:15.565 How does that work? Does someone just sort of sidle 0:08:15.645 --> 0:08:17.525 up to you and say, this is a hard conversation. 0:08:17.725 --> 0:08:21.565 Yeah, just the nature of the catastrophic injuries. In fact, 0:08:21.565 --> 0:08:25.085 I recounted this after the Undau show to doctor Peter, 0:08:25.205 --> 0:08:28.245 Sophie's surgeon, who remains her surgeon to this. 0:08:28.365 --> 0:08:31.085 Day, from day one to really and. 0:08:31.125 --> 0:08:34.325 I said, Peter, I recall the words, and he would 0:08:34.325 --> 0:08:37.925 say to me, Carolyn, because we'd go answer that, and 0:08:37.965 --> 0:08:40.245 he'd look at me in the eye and he'd say, Carolyn, 0:08:40.325 --> 0:08:43.325 how much can a kohala bear? I mean, it's just 0:08:43.365 --> 0:08:44.325 such a nice way to go. 0:08:44.485 --> 0:08:46.445 That's a beautiful way to say the most. 0:08:48.125 --> 0:08:53.445 And he has the most amazing knack of saying in 0:08:53.445 --> 0:08:57.205 that sort of extreme environment something where you can actually 0:08:57.245 --> 0:09:01.085 connect to what he's saying because of the intensity of what's. 0:09:00.765 --> 0:09:04.125 Happening and the shock I imagine. 0:09:03.645 --> 0:09:06.245 The shaku and I often count, you know, explain to 0:09:06.285 --> 0:09:09.605 people it's like being dropped intoors and and all this 0:09:09.725 --> 0:09:11.805 going on. We're on around you in a foreign country 0:09:11.845 --> 0:09:14.925 because you don't know the language and it's the medical 0:09:15.005 --> 0:09:18.605 speak too, which sort of compounds. I just don't get 0:09:18.645 --> 0:09:22.685 what's going on. And over time you acclimatize and. 0:09:22.645 --> 0:09:25.485 You become fluent and in this language you never wanted. 0:09:25.285 --> 0:09:26.285 To learn totally. 0:09:26.525 --> 0:09:28.765 But he's always been good with that. Like the amount 0:09:28.805 --> 0:09:31.685 of procedures I have, I just know basic words of 0:09:31.685 --> 0:09:34.165 what they are. I have no idea what the technicality 0:09:34.165 --> 0:09:36.565 of stuff behind it is. I just know, like i'd 0:09:36.605 --> 0:09:38.045 go to my doctor. I'm like, I'm having this done. 0:09:38.085 --> 0:09:40.605 He's like, yeah, sure, and so simple to me. Like 0:09:40.645 --> 0:09:43.485 it's just like we make up medication I had when 0:09:43.525 --> 0:09:46.085 I was young. We called wobbly medicine. We have no 0:09:46.125 --> 0:09:47.805 idea what the actual medical. 0:09:49.245 --> 0:09:50.085 Don't like that. 0:09:52.605 --> 0:09:54.525 He sounds like he had an amazing bedside manner. 0:09:54.565 --> 0:09:56.045 Oh wonderful. He's great. 0:09:56.565 --> 0:10:01.525 He's specializing kids burns in kids. Is that his specialty? 0:10:01.925 --> 0:10:05.725 Yes, he's a plastic surgeon. He have plastics at Westmead, 0:10:06.165 --> 0:10:09.925 but he had done a lot of work in America Shriners, 0:10:09.965 --> 0:10:12.925 and so it's an expert in burns as well. And 0:10:13.005 --> 0:10:16.205 because of the requirement of all the specialists, literally at 0:10:16.245 --> 0:10:20.765 Christmas was pulling everyone back from Christmas holidays and so 0:10:20.845 --> 0:10:22.725 we looked out with doctor Penn and you know, the 0:10:22.725 --> 0:10:25.365 burns unit generally the stuff, all the stuff and the 0:10:25.365 --> 0:10:28.605 burns unit. Because we had dealings with everyone. It's fantastic. 0:10:28.725 --> 0:10:31.925 But we just have had Peter stay with us all 0:10:31.925 --> 0:10:32.405 this time. 0:10:32.805 --> 0:10:35.085 And thankfully he works at adult hospitals as well. 0:10:35.165 --> 0:10:39.125 So I was going to say transitioning now, are you nineteen? Yes, 0:10:39.165 --> 0:10:42.885 I am, so when you're eighteen. Yeah, From what I hear, 0:10:42.925 --> 0:10:46.165 it can be quite a jarring experience to be put 0:10:46.205 --> 0:10:47.325 into that adult system. 0:10:47.845 --> 0:10:50.965 One of the best things was that my hospital from 0:10:51.085 --> 0:10:53.965 children's to adults was literally just down the road from 0:10:54.005 --> 0:10:57.205 each other, so it wasn't like a whole new atmosphere 0:10:57.205 --> 0:10:59.925 and all that. And I had the same doctor. My 0:11:00.045 --> 0:11:04.125 doctor has anistus that works with them at multiple hospitals 0:11:04.365 --> 0:11:07.845 and we've met before and basically my doctor and anisotus 0:11:07.885 --> 0:11:11.325 are the most like important to know my needs because 0:11:11.405 --> 0:11:14.565 I have terrible veins and certain medications don't work on 0:11:14.565 --> 0:11:15.245 me and all of that. 0:11:15.445 --> 0:11:17.365 You want that continuity exactly. 0:11:17.605 --> 0:11:21.085 So having doctor Peter know everyone was the simplest thing. 0:11:21.605 --> 0:11:23.925 It was to explain what wobbling medicine was exactly. 0:11:24.405 --> 0:11:26.365 You didn't have to Yeah exact, I didn't have to 0:11:26.365 --> 0:11:30.125 say anything, and the nurses changed no matter how many 0:11:30.165 --> 0:11:32.645 times you go to the same hospital, so it wasn't 0:11:32.685 --> 0:11:35.365 really that big of an issue. I enjoyed the bigger 0:11:35.445 --> 0:11:39.925 rooms and no crying babies done the hall, so yeah, yeah, 0:11:39.965 --> 0:11:42.845 it was really for me. I was very grateful for 0:11:42.885 --> 0:11:45.485 it to be such an easy experience transition. It's all 0:11:45.485 --> 0:11:47.885 thanks to my doctor just for making it so simple. 0:11:48.405 --> 0:11:51.805 Caroline, What about for you and your husband the transition 0:11:52.125 --> 0:11:55.925 out of the children's hospital system and into the adults. 0:11:55.565 --> 0:11:59.725 One, Yeah, that's really it's difficult transitioning as a parent 0:11:59.805 --> 0:12:04.325 when you've been there for sixteen years essentially, and you 0:12:04.365 --> 0:12:07.805 know the ots and you know the canteen stuff and 0:12:07.845 --> 0:12:12.045 the canteen stuff. Still out about Mitch. How's Mitch going? 0:12:12.205 --> 0:12:16.445 You know, it's becomes a family and although we were 0:12:16.485 --> 0:12:19.525 told very early on, don't let this become your second 0:12:19.565 --> 0:12:23.245 home or anything, but in many ways, the connections you 0:12:23.325 --> 0:12:25.885 make at the time is what makes it manage well 0:12:25.885 --> 0:12:30.845 and what gets you through, and that familiarity in extreme 0:12:31.125 --> 0:12:36.605 circumstance and certainly ongoing medical care, takes an element of 0:12:36.685 --> 0:12:39.885 stress out of the mix because you have a reliance 0:12:39.885 --> 0:12:42.845 on these people whom you've known for years, and so 0:12:42.885 --> 0:12:46.045 therefore you trust them implicitly with the care of your child. 0:12:46.485 --> 0:12:51.645 And I was grateful for that. So when transition was 0:12:51.725 --> 0:12:55.885 taking place and still is okay, so how are we 0:12:55.925 --> 0:12:58.085 going to do that? Now? We know we could go 0:12:58.165 --> 0:13:02.005 back and call anyone of those specialists for advice. That's 0:13:02.045 --> 0:13:05.045 a good thing. We know the families who've transitioned, so 0:13:05.085 --> 0:13:07.565 you talk to them about how they've gone about it. 0:13:08.045 --> 0:13:09.245 Do you get shut out as an. 0:13:09.125 --> 0:13:13.485 At Yeah, you do. Actually, I mean you don't. 0:13:13.605 --> 0:13:16.925 Legally you can make whatever decisions you want now, right. 0:13:17.125 --> 0:13:20.405 Yeah, Yeah, there's certainly that too. So when you transition 0:13:20.405 --> 0:13:22.165 to an adults hospital, it's kind of like, well you 0:13:22.165 --> 0:13:25.245 can come, you know. Yeah, the conversations up with Sophie 0:13:25.285 --> 0:13:25.885 and not with you. 0:13:26.245 --> 0:13:29.085 And especially with COVID because I had a surgery a 0:13:29.125 --> 0:13:32.085 few months ago and that then being like only you're 0:13:32.125 --> 0:13:34.285 not allowed to have a certain amount of visitors, So 0:13:34.405 --> 0:13:38.485 having mum in with me was a risk they had 0:13:38.525 --> 0:13:39.445 to consider taking. 0:13:39.805 --> 0:13:42.165 Yeah, and we usually had a bit of a rotation 0:13:42.405 --> 0:13:45.285 in the past, but doctor Bittot was really good about 0:13:45.525 --> 0:13:48.885 involving Sophie in the discussions around his surgery really from 0:13:48.925 --> 0:13:49.885 when you're about twelve. 0:13:50.645 --> 0:13:53.845 Yeah, I would decide a few months in advance. I'd 0:13:53.845 --> 0:13:57.525 have my physios recommend certain skin releases and sky releases 0:13:57.565 --> 0:14:00.405 that I needed, but ultimately my doctor would come up 0:14:00.405 --> 0:14:02.365 to me. It's like, what do you want? So it 0:14:02.445 --> 0:14:03.285 all be my decision. 0:14:03.365 --> 0:14:05.765 What would your choice be between? Because I would have 0:14:05.765 --> 0:14:09.005 thought that surgeries you needed wouldn't be discretionary. 0:14:09.645 --> 0:14:12.325 The ones I had to have probably up until I 0:14:12.365 --> 0:14:15.485 was I think fourteen was my last one was my 0:14:15.565 --> 0:14:17.685 bone trimming on the end of my legs, So that 0:14:17.765 --> 0:14:21.325 one I had, you know, so it's literally when my 0:14:21.485 --> 0:14:24.925 bones are growing, but my skin is too the scarring, 0:14:24.965 --> 0:14:27.445 it's too bad for it to stretch at the same pace, 0:14:27.845 --> 0:14:31.445 So they'd have to trim the bones every year to 0:14:31.525 --> 0:14:35.085 maintain my skin, basically not let my bones break through 0:14:35.085 --> 0:14:35.485 my skin. 0:14:35.605 --> 0:14:38.245 But does that mean that you're what are these bones 0:14:38.245 --> 0:14:43.565 called your upper leg bones, you know, thigh bones. Are 0:14:43.605 --> 0:14:46.125 they the same size they were when you had the 0:14:46.205 --> 0:14:47.245 accident at age too? 0:14:47.445 --> 0:14:50.445 No, No, they've grown, but it's at a much slower 0:14:50.445 --> 0:14:51.245 pace to what. 0:14:52.765 --> 0:14:53.205 Stretched. 0:14:53.325 --> 0:14:56.285 Yeah, yeah, it just sweat stretches a lot slower, and 0:14:56.365 --> 0:14:59.085 with the skin releases I have to have and assessed 0:14:59.085 --> 0:15:01.325 with it. Oh yeah, I remember. It used to be 0:15:01.365 --> 0:15:05.125 excruciating pain and I'd growing pains like everyone does, but 0:15:05.245 --> 0:15:06.845 Mum would have to sit with me for hours and 0:15:06.885 --> 0:15:09.885 be massaging my legs and I'd have to have heat packs, 0:15:09.925 --> 0:15:13.285 ice packs, everything on them, taking so many painkillers. It 0:15:13.325 --> 0:15:17.325 was terrible pain. But that stocks you stop growing. Yes, 0:15:17.445 --> 0:15:20.565 so I might get the random one once a year 0:15:20.685 --> 0:15:23.805 or something like that, but it's not as major at all. 0:15:24.205 --> 0:15:26.405 They used to be every two weeks or something. I 0:15:26.525 --> 0:15:35.965 start drinking, I know, my prosthetics heightened, so. 0:15:35.885 --> 0:15:39.645 Yes, exactly. So you had to get the bone trimmed. 0:15:40.805 --> 0:15:43.565 Was that a very elaborate process? And did you have 0:15:43.725 --> 0:15:45.405 rituals about when you went to hospital? 0:15:45.485 --> 0:15:47.565 The biggest ritual was always to go out for dinner 0:15:47.645 --> 0:15:51.245 before surgery, just because I had to fast and I 0:15:51.285 --> 0:15:53.805 don't eat breakfast anyway, Like I'm not a breakfast person, 0:15:54.085 --> 0:15:56.445 but when you don't have the choice about eating breakfast, 0:15:57.125 --> 0:16:01.285 bread exactly. So we would always go out for dinner beforehand, 0:16:01.325 --> 0:16:03.205 and I'd make sure to get really full so i'd 0:16:03.245 --> 0:16:06.605 be fine for the next twelve hours, and then I'd 0:16:06.765 --> 0:16:11.365 go to surgery. In the morning, and only other traditions 0:16:11.365 --> 0:16:13.925 are really we have a little surgery bag that we 0:16:13.925 --> 0:16:15.405 pop at the end of my bed and we still 0:16:15.405 --> 0:16:18.285 do with a photo of me and cross and a 0:16:18.325 --> 0:16:21.565 few other little bits and bobs from my time. And 0:16:22.005 --> 0:16:24.365 when I was younger, there'd be traditions with my mum 0:16:24.445 --> 0:16:27.285 or dad whoever came in with me, Like Dad would 0:16:27.325 --> 0:16:29.845 say you're a big strong girl and make me say it, 0:16:30.165 --> 0:16:32.125 and Mum would be go to your happy place. So 0:16:32.165 --> 0:16:35.285 there'd be little traditions amongst us. But now that I'm older, 0:16:35.485 --> 0:16:37.845 I go in alone, so it's more lonely. 0:16:39.525 --> 0:16:40.245 But what about you. 0:16:40.805 --> 0:16:44.125 That's your first time this year because of COVID restricting 0:16:44.205 --> 0:16:45.005 as yes. 0:16:45.485 --> 0:16:46.325 What surgeries do? 0:16:46.325 --> 0:16:49.245 You still have to have some skin releases, so they 0:16:49.325 --> 0:16:52.085 take skin from a place that isn't burnt, So for me, 0:16:52.125 --> 0:16:55.605 that's my right thigh and then they remove scars and 0:16:55.805 --> 0:16:58.885 pace the skin on top of where they remove the scar. Yeah, 0:16:58.925 --> 0:17:00.485 so that's my thing I'll have to have for the 0:17:00.525 --> 0:17:03.245 rest of my life because it's not that my bones 0:17:03.245 --> 0:17:06.165 are still growing, it's that movement is always different, Like 0:17:06.205 --> 0:17:08.645 I might not be in my prosthetics as much, so 0:17:08.685 --> 0:17:11.805 that might and some of my thigh scars and I 0:17:11.925 --> 0:17:14.445 might not move my right arm up as much, so 0:17:14.565 --> 0:17:17.645 that's going to tighten natska. So it's all about, you know, 0:17:17.725 --> 0:17:22.165 moderating with my physiotherapist each week, and when I go 0:17:22.205 --> 0:17:24.925 to the gym and exercise, moderating all the scars that 0:17:25.285 --> 0:17:26.085 could get worse. 0:17:26.325 --> 0:17:27.445 What do you do at the gym? 0:17:28.045 --> 0:17:29.645 Go on my phone, listen to. 0:17:31.565 --> 0:17:37.645 What everyone does. You pretend to exercise while looking Yeah. 0:17:36.285 --> 0:17:39.885 Exactly, Just it depends on the day. Usually I stick 0:17:39.925 --> 0:17:42.525 more with weights and try and build up my muscle 0:17:42.605 --> 0:17:45.085 because I've spent quite a few months off gym because 0:17:45.125 --> 0:17:48.045 of surgery, so it's usually trying to recover from that 0:17:48.085 --> 0:17:50.445 and build up my muscle because my muscles get weak 0:17:50.605 --> 0:17:53.485 very quickly. So yeah, just trying to build up that 0:17:53.805 --> 0:17:57.885 muscle mass again and things like bike and I try 0:17:57.925 --> 0:18:00.085 not to do treadmills and stuff where I'm standing because 0:18:00.085 --> 0:18:03.405 it puts pressure on my wounds. But yeah, just whatever's 0:18:03.525 --> 0:18:06.365 really available and it's free, so I just take it. 0:18:06.965 --> 0:18:09.765 Carolyn, when you were having those how much and acquire 0:18:09.805 --> 0:18:13.365 of our conversations, what do you take into account when 0:18:13.405 --> 0:18:14.485 you answer that question? 0:18:14.645 --> 0:18:18.485 Quality of life? And that was really tricky because no 0:18:18.565 --> 0:18:22.685 one has survived her injuries before, and so no one 0:18:22.725 --> 0:18:26.325 could guide us about what quality of life would mean. 0:18:27.605 --> 0:18:30.885 So you go through this process of well, doctor Peter 0:18:31.005 --> 0:18:34.685 again was sort of guide that time, where he introduced 0:18:34.765 --> 0:18:37.445 us to young children who had lost limbs, trem and 0:18:37.525 --> 0:18:41.885 chicocle actually and became amputees as a result, and the 0:18:41.925 --> 0:18:46.365 families of them, and that was sort of a baseline, 0:18:46.405 --> 0:18:50.245 I guess, talking to other parents and families of children 0:18:50.245 --> 0:18:55.125 have been burned, which is difficult because of the significant 0:18:55.125 --> 0:18:57.565 amount of injury that Surfa sustained. 0:18:57.165 --> 0:18:59.845 And also the double whammy of being an amputee and 0:18:59.965 --> 0:19:02.685 having burns, which seems very unfair. 0:19:03.405 --> 0:19:06.205 So, you know, trying to get some guidance around that 0:19:06.925 --> 0:19:10.845 information pooling I suppose conscious at the time, No, she 0:19:11.005 --> 0:19:16.005 was intubated and in a coma, and yeah, because the 0:19:16.045 --> 0:19:19.685 injuries were so extensive, it was really just she was 0:19:19.725 --> 0:19:23.405 on life support and really she could have gone any minute. 0:19:23.445 --> 0:19:26.245 We were just grateful for another thirty seconds with her 0:19:26.325 --> 0:19:29.725 in the early time at that time. So it just 0:19:29.805 --> 0:19:31.565 sort of grappling with all of that and going, well, 0:19:31.565 --> 0:19:34.325 what is quality of love? What does that mean? What 0:19:34.525 --> 0:19:39.205 could she achieve when no one really knew. So we thought, well, 0:19:39.245 --> 0:19:42.805 I'm just giving a shot, and we told so that 0:19:42.885 --> 0:19:46.725 if if it got too hard, Mary McKillop was going 0:19:46.725 --> 0:19:48.005 to look after you up in heaven. 0:19:51.845 --> 0:19:55.685 Yes, Mary mckilla comes into play at this point. I 0:19:55.725 --> 0:19:59.245 remember praying for you, and I'm not even really just 0:19:59.325 --> 0:20:02.445 I remember everyone praying for you both times. You know, 0:20:02.485 --> 0:20:05.965 you really seem to harness that universally. Are you and 0:20:06.165 --> 0:20:10.085 run of faith? Obviously you're a faith we are. How 0:20:10.165 --> 0:20:12.045 were you particularly religious before? 0:20:12.645 --> 0:20:18.165 I wouldn't say overly religious. I have a belief, a spiritual. 0:20:17.645 --> 0:20:19.765 Belief that there's something out there. 0:20:19.845 --> 0:20:23.125 Absolutely, and I harnessed that and I just happened to 0:20:24.125 --> 0:20:27.885 feel for me it was a Catholic faith that resonated 0:20:28.325 --> 0:20:32.325 most sin sintly for me. And I happened to be 0:20:32.645 --> 0:20:34.925 working in nor Sydney at the time, all Blues Point Road, 0:20:34.965 --> 0:20:37.925 and I just wanted a quiet place and I found 0:20:38.485 --> 0:20:41.645 the Mary Mickillip Chapel one year when I'd had a 0:20:41.645 --> 0:20:45.005 couple of miscarriages and was wanting to have children and 0:20:45.325 --> 0:20:47.685 was trying to grapple with that this may never happen 0:20:47.805 --> 0:20:51.685 for us kind of conversation, and I found the Mary 0:20:51.725 --> 0:20:55.125 McKillop Chapel, and I walked in there, I thought, this 0:20:55.205 --> 0:20:58.685 is my place, and then I would just get a 0:20:58.685 --> 0:21:01.205