Speaker 1: You're listening to a mother and Mia podcast. Mama Miya
Speaker 1: acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that this
Speaker 1: podcast is recorded on. Hello, it's me a popping into
Speaker 1: ears because I wanted to reshare one of our most
Speaker 1: downloaded episodes of No Filter ever. It was an interview
Speaker 1: that I did with Sophie Dalzzio and twenty twenty. She
Speaker 1: was a name that many people knew, and you'll hear
Speaker 1: a little bit about her experience in a second from her.
Speaker 1: But the update is that her personal life has taken
Speaker 1: a really beautiful turn. She reconnected with a man called
Speaker 1: Joseph Soileno, who was a friend that she'd known since
Speaker 1: she was six years old. They got engaged in twenty
Speaker 1: twenty three, and in September last year, Sophie and Joseph
Speaker 1: had a little boy called Frankie. Here's my conversation with
Speaker 1: Sophie Dalzsio. It's one of the most extraordinary stories ever
Speaker 1: been told on this show. Hi.
Speaker 2: Yes, Yes, Elbot.
Speaker 1: You for having us. You'll remember her name, and if
Speaker 1: it just rings a bell but you can't place it,
Speaker 1: you'll remember her story. On an ordinary day in two
Speaker 1: thousand and three, an elderly driver crashed into a Sydney
Speaker 1: childcare center, pinning two toddlers underneath the burning car. It
Speaker 1: was right before Christmas and all the kids were having
Speaker 1: nap time, excitedly waiting for Santa to visit. Two year
Speaker 1: old Sophie Delizio and her little friend Molly Wood were
Speaker 1: horribly injured and for a time it wasn't known if
Speaker 1: Sophie would survive. She had burns to eighty five percent
Speaker 1: of her tiny body. She lost both her legs below
Speaker 1: her knee, her right hand and her right ear. She survived,
Speaker 1: though she left hospital. Her family and it seemed all
Speaker 1: of Australia celebrated a miracle. And then, unbelievably, less than
Speaker 1: three years later, Sophie was here by another car whose
Speaker 1: driver had a seizure, just as her nanny carefully pushed
Speaker 1: her wheelchair across the pedestrian crossing. This time the car
Speaker 1: through Sophie more than eighteen meters from her wheelchair. She
Speaker 1: had a broken jaw, broken ribs, fractured collar bone and
Speaker 1: a punctured lung, as well as bleeding on her brain
Speaker 1: and a heart attack. Again, she nearly died, and again
Speaker 1: Australia prayed for Sophie. But after all of that, Sophie
Speaker 1: lived and how she lived today, she's one of the
Speaker 1: most remarkable nineteen year olds you could ever hope to meet.
Speaker 2: For me, and my prosthetics are my main type of freedom.
Speaker 2: I'm happy to use my wheelchair outside the house, but
Speaker 2: I need my prosthetics to drive my car. I need
Speaker 2: my prosthetics to, you know, if I'm out of place
Speaker 2: with stairs, to walk up the stairs. So I think
Speaker 2: the hardest days are the ones where I just have
Speaker 2: to do nothing.
Speaker 1: From Mamma Maya, I'm Meya Friedman, and you're listening to
Speaker 1: No Filter, a weekly podcasts with people like Sophie who
Speaker 1: tell their stories very candidly and aren't afraid to be
Speaker 1: all kinds of vulnerable. Today I am speaking to that
Speaker 1: little girl, Sophie Delizio and her mum Caroline Carolyn. What's that?
Speaker 1: It's just such a funny interview because I'm saying, what's
Speaker 1: the best way to talk to you about it? Because
Speaker 1: I guess in another situation I would say, so tell
Speaker 1: me about the day. But I just feel instinctively that
Speaker 1: I don't want to make you relive it in that way.
Speaker 1: So I want to ask you about the first couple
Speaker 1: of years of your life, of which you'll have no
Speaker 1: memory of it. See what was family life like?
Speaker 3: Well, it was pretty chaotic because we were told when
Speaker 3: the exitent version that we've been living in hospital was
Speaker 3: so for a year, and we made it out after
Speaker 3: six and a half months, and that to me was
Speaker 3: a testament to her true grit and equally the team
Speaker 3: of medical practitioners and support people we had around us
Speaker 3: at the time that allowed us to get out the
Speaker 3: doors of the hospital. You don't want to spend any
Speaker 3: more time in hospital than you can because there's sick people,
Speaker 3: it's infection, there's a greater risk in hospital than being
Speaker 3: out of hospital. So the time was to come and
Speaker 3: we moved home and had round the nursing care for
Speaker 3: the remainder of the year, so twenty four our care
Speaker 3: nursing care to support us support.
Speaker 1: So it's so funny I asked you about the first
Speaker 1: two years, and you went straight to after the accident.
Speaker 1: I actually met before the accident, the first two years
Speaker 1: of her life, not the first two years. After day,
Speaker 1: because I keep thinking, I'm sure you've read Lee Sales
Speaker 1: is an incredible book. Any ordinary day about how when
Speaker 1: big traumatic things happen, life is pretty ordinary until that
Speaker 1: moment when it happens suddenly it is really so what
Speaker 1: was your ordinary life like?
Speaker 3: Well, Ron and I were both running our own businesses.
Speaker 3: It was that juggle of parents managing work and little kids,
Speaker 3: little babies.
Speaker 1: And two and four with Mitch four and you were to.
Speaker 3: Two and four and finding the right daycres. And we'd
Speaker 3: moved from Erskine where we lived, and we had built
Speaker 3: a house and see fourth and it was kind of like,
Speaker 3: you know, we don't have we haven't been on our
Speaker 3: list for long enough for daycare. You go into the
Speaker 3: card of the oh, no, I failed as a parent
Speaker 3: because I haven't kind of got.
Speaker 1: There maybe when that was your biggest problem, you know,
Speaker 1: daycare because of splash school.
Speaker 3: You know, that's sort of focus.
Speaker 1: So if I don't remember being two or three, or
Speaker 1: I think my first memory kicks in around four, but
Speaker 1: that's because my childhood was fairly unremarkable. What's your first memory?
Speaker 2: I honestly have no idea. My brain's like some things
Speaker 2: I don't know if they're memories or like things have
Speaker 2: just made up in my mind, or being told stories
Speaker 2: that you've heard, Yeah, for example, yeah, exactly. So I
Speaker 2: think my first memory is at a Christmas tree. I
Speaker 2: can't remember if I was injured, like disabled or not.
Speaker 2: I have no recollection of that. I just remember Dad
Speaker 2: lifted me up and putting the still on top of
Speaker 2: the Christmas tree. So I think that's my first memory.
Speaker 2: But again, Christmas comes about every year. It could be
Speaker 2: any of those years, and you could have seen it
Speaker 2: in a photo exactly, because I know this photos around
Speaker 2: that tree.
Speaker 1: Do you remember hospital the first time? Nope, I don't
Speaker 1: hospital the second time.
Speaker 2: Nope. I have no recollection of hospitals at that time,
Speaker 2: but I have, like, I get these feelings whenever I
Speaker 2: go into because I went to Children's Hospital at Westmead
Speaker 2: and there's this one room where I remember the feeling
Speaker 2: of being in when I had one of my accents
Speaker 2: or a major surgery, and I just remember ufter pain.
Speaker 2: I can't remember the moment or anything, but I can't
Speaker 2: go into that.
Speaker 1: Room still to the state a specific room in Yeah, it's.
Speaker 2: One room with a silver bath tub in the middle
Speaker 2: where i'd get cleaned and they'd strip all my bandages down. Yeah,
Speaker 2: that was not my favorite room in the hospital. But
Speaker 2: that's the only like feeling I have from the early
Speaker 2: days of.
Speaker 1: Hospital, because I imagine it would all have just blurred,
Speaker 1: like the.
Speaker 2: Operations as the and the high amount of medication I
Speaker 2: was on kind of dulled it in my brain, and
Speaker 2: the protective mechanisms like blocking it out of my mind
Speaker 2: sort of thing.
Speaker 1: So how about you have got very strong memories? Yeah,
Speaker 1: in different ways.
Speaker 3: And it's interesting because I'll talk to friends and they go, well,
Speaker 3: remember that, Oh, yes, I do now now that you've
Speaker 3: reminded me. And it's not from necessarily blocking things out,
Speaker 3: but you move on to some of the specifics of
Speaker 3: the events. And it was four and a half months
Speaker 3: before we were told whether she would live or not,
Speaker 3: so you kind of live every day knowing that that
Speaker 3: could be her last and so your focus is just
Speaker 3: on that day. Some of the small, you know, things
Speaker 3: that happened slip away in the memory bank.
Speaker 1: I've heard Sophie talk about the fact that you were
Speaker 1: asked whether you wanted to turn her life support off.
Speaker 1: Was that one conversation or was that sort of a
Speaker 1: series of conversations over that time when she was critically ill.
Speaker 3: It was when she was in intensive care. She was
Speaker 3: an intensive pier about two and a half months, so
Speaker 3: we were given We're given the option twice actually in
Speaker 3: the first week.
Speaker 1: How does that work? Does someone just sort of sidle
Speaker 1: up to you and say, this is a hard conversation.
Speaker 3: Yeah, just the nature of the catastrophic injuries. In fact,
Speaker 3: I recounted this after the Undau show to doctor Peter,
Speaker 3: Sophie's surgeon, who remains her surgeon to this.
Speaker 2: Day, from day one to really and.
Speaker 3: I said, Peter, I recall the words, and he would
Speaker 3: say to me, Carolyn, because we'd go answer that, and
Speaker 3: he'd look at me in the eye and he'd say, Carolyn,
Speaker 3: how much can a kohala bear? I mean, it's just
Speaker 3: such a nice way to go.
Speaker 1: That's a beautiful way to say the most.
Speaker 3: And he has the most amazing knack of saying in
Speaker 3: that sort of extreme environment something where you can actually
Speaker 3: connect to what he's saying because of the intensity of what's.
Speaker 1: Happening and the shock I imagine.
Speaker 3: The shaku and I often count, you know, explain to
Speaker 3: people it's like being dropped intoors and and all this
Speaker 3: going on. We're on around you in a foreign country
Speaker 3: because you don't know the language and it's the medical
Speaker 3: speak too, which sort of compounds. I just don't get
Speaker 3: what's going on. And over time you acclimatize and.
Speaker 1: You become fluent and in this language you never wanted.
Speaker 3: To learn totally.
Speaker 2: But he's always been good with that. Like the amount
Speaker 2: of procedures I have, I just know basic words of
Speaker 2: what they are. I have no idea what the technicality
Speaker 2: of stuff behind it is. I just know, like i'd
Speaker 2: go to my doctor. I'm like, I'm having this done.
Speaker 2: He's like, yeah, sure, and so simple to me. Like
Speaker 2: it's just like we make up medication I had when
Speaker 2: I was young. We called wobbly medicine. We have no
Speaker 2: idea what the actual medical.
Speaker 3: Don't like that.
Speaker 1: He sounds like he had an amazing bedside manner.
Speaker 2: Oh wonderful. He's great.
Speaker 1: He's specializing kids burns in kids. Is that his specialty?
Speaker 3: Yes, he's a plastic surgeon. He have plastics at Westmead,
Speaker 3: but he had done a lot of work in America Shriners,
Speaker 3: and so it's an expert in burns as well. And
Speaker 3: because of the requirement of all the specialists, literally at
Speaker 3: Christmas was pulling everyone back from Christmas holidays and so
Speaker 3: we looked out with doctor Penn and you know, the
Speaker 3: burns unit generally the stuff, all the stuff and the
Speaker 3: burns unit. Because we had dealings with everyone. It's fantastic.
Speaker 3: But we just have had Peter stay with us all
Speaker 3: this time.
Speaker 2: And thankfully he works at adult hospitals as well.
Speaker 1: So I was going to say transitioning now, are you nineteen? Yes,
Speaker 1: I am, so when you're eighteen. Yeah, From what I hear,
Speaker 1: it can be quite a jarring experience to be put
Speaker 1: into that adult system.
Speaker 2: One of the best things was that my hospital from
Speaker 2: children's to adults was literally just down the road from
Speaker 2: each other, so it wasn't like a whole new atmosphere
Speaker 2: and all that. And I had the same doctor. My
Speaker 2: doctor has anistus that works with them at multiple hospitals
Speaker 2: and we've met before and basically my doctor and anisotus
Speaker 2: are the most like important to know my needs because
Speaker 2: I have terrible veins and certain medications don't work on
Speaker 2: me and all of that.
Speaker 1: You want that continuity exactly.
Speaker 2: So having doctor Peter know everyone was the simplest thing.
Speaker 1: It was to explain what wobbling medicine was exactly.
Speaker 2: You didn't have to Yeah exact, I didn't have to
Speaker 2: say anything, and the nurses changed no matter how many
Speaker 2: times you go to the same hospital, so it wasn't
Speaker 2: really that big of an issue. I enjoyed the bigger
Speaker 2: rooms and no crying babies done the hall, so yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: it was really for me. I was very grateful for
Speaker 2: it to be such an easy experience transition. It's all
Speaker 2: thanks to my doctor just for making it so simple.
Speaker 1: Caroline, What about for you and your husband the transition
Speaker 1: out of the children's hospital system and into the adults.
Speaker 3: One, Yeah, that's really it's difficult transitioning as a parent
Speaker 3: when you've been there for sixteen years essentially, and you
Speaker 3: know the ots and you know the canteen stuff and
Speaker 3: the canteen stuff. Still out about Mitch. How's Mitch going?
Speaker 3: You know, it's becomes a family and although we were
Speaker 3: told very early on, don't let this become your second
Speaker 3: home or anything, but in many ways, the connections you
Speaker 3: make at the time is what makes it manage well
Speaker 3: and what gets you through, and that familiarity in extreme
Speaker 3: circumstance and certainly ongoing medical care, takes an element of
Speaker 3: stress out of the mix because you have a reliance
Speaker 3: on these people whom you've known for years, and so
Speaker 3: therefore you trust them implicitly with the care of your child.
Speaker 3: And I was grateful for that. So when transition was
Speaker 3: taking place and still is okay, so how are we
Speaker 3: going to do that? Now? We know we could go
Speaker 3: back and call anyone of those specialists for advice. That's
Speaker 3: a good thing. We know the families who've transitioned, so
Speaker 3: you talk to them about how they've gone about it.
Speaker 1: Do you get shut out as an.
Speaker 3: At Yeah, you do. Actually, I mean you don't.
Speaker 1: Legally you can make whatever decisions you want now, right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, there's certainly that too. So when you transition
Speaker 3: to an adults hospital, it's kind of like, well you
Speaker 3: can come, you know. Yeah, the conversations up with Sophie
Speaker 3: and not with you.
Speaker 2: And especially with COVID because I had a surgery a
Speaker 2: few months ago and that then being like only you're
Speaker 2: not allowed to have a certain amount of visitors, So
Speaker 2: having mum in with me was a risk they had
Speaker 2: to consider taking.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and we usually had a bit of a rotation
Speaker 3: in the past, but doctor Bittot was really good about
Speaker 3: involving Sophie in the discussions around his surgery really from
Speaker 3: when you're about twelve.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would decide a few months in advance. I'd
Speaker 2: have my physios recommend certain skin releases and sky releases
Speaker 2: that I needed, but ultimately my doctor would come up
Speaker 2: to me. It's like, what do you want? So it
Speaker 2: all be my decision.
Speaker 1: What would your choice be between? Because I would have
Speaker 1: thought that surgeries you needed wouldn't be discretionary.
Speaker 2: The ones I had to have probably up until I
Speaker 2: was I think fourteen was my last one was my
Speaker 2: bone trimming on the end of my legs, So that
Speaker 2: one I had, you know, so it's literally when my
Speaker 2: bones are growing, but my skin is too the scarring,
Speaker 2: it's too bad for it to stretch at the same pace,
Speaker 2: So they'd have to trim the bones every year to
Speaker 2: maintain my skin, basically not let my bones break through
Speaker 2: my skin.
Speaker 1: But does that mean that you're what are these bones
Speaker 1: called your upper leg bones, you know, thigh bones. Are
Speaker 1: they the same size they were when you had the
Speaker 1: accident at age too?
Speaker 2: No, No, they've grown, but it's at a much slower
Speaker 2: pace to what.
Speaker 1: Stretched.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it just sweat stretches a lot slower, and
Speaker 2: with the skin releases I have to have and assessed
Speaker 2: with it. Oh yeah, I remember. It used to be
Speaker 2: excruciating pain and I'd growing pains like everyone does, but
Speaker 2: Mum would have to sit with me for hours and
Speaker 2: be massaging my legs and I'd have to have heat packs,
Speaker 2: ice packs, everything on them, taking so many painkillers. It
Speaker 2: was terrible pain. But that stocks you stop growing. Yes,
Speaker 2: so I might get the random one once a year
Speaker 2: or something like that, but it's not as major at all.
Speaker 2: They used to be every two weeks or something. I
Speaker 2: start drinking, I know, my prosthetics heightened, so.
Speaker 1: Yes, exactly. So you had to get the bone trimmed.
Speaker 1: Was that a very elaborate process? And did you have
Speaker 1: rituals about when you went to hospital?
Speaker 2: The biggest ritual was always to go out for dinner
Speaker 2: before surgery, just because I had to fast and I
Speaker 2: don't eat breakfast anyway, Like I'm not a breakfast person,
Speaker 2: but when you don't have the choice about eating breakfast,
Speaker 2: bread exactly. So we would always go out for dinner beforehand,
Speaker 2: and I'd make sure to get really full so i'd
Speaker 2: be fine for the next twelve hours, and then I'd
Speaker 2: go to surgery. In the morning, and only other traditions
Speaker 2: are really we have a little surgery bag that we
Speaker 2: pop at the end of my bed and we still
Speaker 2: do with a photo of me and cross and a
Speaker 2: few other little bits and bobs from my time. And
Speaker 2: when I was younger, there'd be traditions with my mum
Speaker 2: or dad whoever came in with me, Like Dad would
Speaker 2: say you're a big strong girl and make me say it,
Speaker 2: and Mum would be go to your happy place. So
Speaker 2: there'd be little traditions amongst us. But now that I'm older,
Speaker 2: I go in alone, so it's more lonely.
Speaker 1: But what about you.
Speaker 3: That's your first time this year because of COVID restricting
Speaker 3: as yes.
Speaker 1: What surgeries do?
Speaker 2: You still have to have some skin releases, so they
Speaker 2: take skin from a place that isn't burnt, So for me,
Speaker 2: that's my right thigh and then they remove scars and
Speaker 2: pace the skin on top of where they remove the scar. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so that's my thing I'll have to have for the
Speaker 2: rest of my life because it's not that my bones
Speaker 2: are still growing, it's that movement is always different, Like
Speaker 2: I might not be in my prosthetics as much, so
Speaker 2: that might and some of my thigh scars and I
Speaker 2: might not move my right arm up as much, so
Speaker 2: that's going to tighten natska. So it's all about, you know,
Speaker 2: moderating with my physiotherapist each week, and when I go
Speaker 2: to the gym and exercise, moderating all the scars that
Speaker 2: could get worse.
Speaker 1: What do you do at the gym?
Speaker 2: Go on my phone, listen to.
Speaker 1: What everyone does. You pretend to exercise while looking Yeah.
Speaker 2: Exactly, Just it depends on the day. Usually I stick
Speaker 2: more with weights and try and build up my muscle
Speaker 2: because I've spent quite a few months off gym because
Speaker 2: of surgery, so it's usually trying to recover from that
Speaker 2: and build up my muscle because my muscles get weak
Speaker 2: very quickly. So yeah, just trying to build up that
Speaker 2: muscle mass again and things like bike and I try
Speaker 2: not to do treadmills and stuff where I'm standing because
Speaker 2: it puts pressure on my wounds. But yeah, just whatever's
Speaker 2: really available and it's free, so I just take it.
Speaker 1: Carolyn, when you were having those how much and acquire
Speaker 1: of our conversations, what do you take into account when
Speaker 1: you answer that question?
Speaker 3: Quality of life? And that was really tricky because no
Speaker 3: one has survived her injuries before, and so no one
Speaker 3: could guide us about what quality of life would mean.
Speaker 3: So you go through this process of well, doctor Peter
Speaker 3: again was sort of guide that time, where he introduced
Speaker 3: us to young children who had lost limbs, trem and
Speaker 3: chicocle actually and became amputees as a result, and the
Speaker 3: families of them, and that was sort of a baseline,
Speaker 3: I guess, talking to other parents and families of children
Speaker 3: have been burned, which is difficult because of the significant
Speaker 3: amount of injury that Surfa sustained.
Speaker 1: And also the double whammy of being an amputee and
Speaker 1: having burns, which seems very unfair.
Speaker 3: So, you know, trying to get some guidance around that
Speaker 3: information pooling I suppose conscious at the time, No, she
Speaker 3: was intubated and in a coma, and yeah, because the
Speaker 3: injuries were so extensive, it was really just she was
Speaker 3: on life support and really she could have gone any minute.
Speaker 3: We were just grateful for another thirty seconds with her
Speaker 3: in the early time at that time. So it just
Speaker 3: sort of grappling with all of that and going, well,
Speaker 3: what is quality of love? What does that mean? What
Speaker 3: could she achieve when no one really knew. So we thought, well,
Speaker 3: I'm just giving a shot, and we told so that
Speaker 3: if if it got too hard, Mary McKillop was going
Speaker 3: to look after you up in heaven.
Speaker 1: Yes, Mary mckilla comes into play at this point. I
Speaker 1: remember praying for you, and I'm not even really just
Speaker 1: I remember everyone praying for you both times. You know,
Speaker 1: you really seem to harness that universally. Are you and
Speaker 1: run of faith? Obviously you're a faith we are. How
Speaker 1: were you particularly religious before?
Speaker 3: I wouldn't say overly religious. I have a belief, a spiritual.
Speaker 1: Belief that there's something out there.
Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I harnessed that and I just happened to
Speaker 3: feel for me it was a Catholic faith that resonated
Speaker 3: most sin sintly for me. And I happened to be
Speaker 3: working in nor Sydney at the time, all Blues Point Road,
Speaker 3: and I just wanted a quiet place and I found
Speaker 3: the Mary Mickillip Chapel one year when I'd had a
Speaker 3: couple of miscarriages and was wanting to have children and
Speaker 3: was trying to grapple with that this may never happen
Speaker 3: for us kind of conversation, and I found the Mary
Speaker 3: McKillop Chapel, and I walked in there, I thought, this
Speaker 3: is my place, and then I would just get a
Speaker 3: little tap on the shoulder and someone would just check
Speaker 3: on me. You can go up and do this, what
Speaker 3: you could do. It was just such a gentle environment,
Speaker 3: and I just felt so good there. Anyway, I prayed
Speaker 3: on Mary mcallops tomb and various things like that, and
Speaker 3: ended up having Mitchell and then so.
Speaker 1: And so when she was in hospital after the first accident,
Speaker 1: it just came back to you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, so if she was going to go to heaven,
Speaker 3: she was going to go to heaven with holding Mary mcgillips.
Speaker 1: And yeah.
Speaker 3: And I had a belief also in the power of prayer,
Speaker 3: the power of community, and the power of that higher order,
Speaker 3: that high being, and just the immensity of the universe
Speaker 3: that could help us with this situation that seemed extraordinary,
Speaker 3: catastrophic by some people's words, but certainly greater than I
Speaker 3: could manage on my own.
Speaker 1: And it did feel like there was a universal like
Speaker 1: a lot of people who might not ordinarily otherwise pray.
Speaker 1: We're all focused on one thing and you shouldn't have
Speaker 1: survived really in terms of your injuries and odds odds
Speaker 1: against you, and something bigger than you happened. I want
Speaker 1: to ask about Mitch too, because when I've looked at
Speaker 1: some of the old interviews and the footage, there's Mitch
Speaker 1: in the background of photos. There's Mitch sitting next to
Speaker 1: you on the couch. And you were from when you
Speaker 1: were sort of five or six. You seem to quite
Speaker 1: love like, you were good at the spotlight and the cameras,
Speaker 1: and you are naturally very outgoing as a vescent girl,
Speaker 1: and you still are now a woman. And he's always
Speaker 1: sort of hanging back. And I often thought about how
Speaker 1: you and Ron felt about Mitch during that time, because
Speaker 1: he was only four. How did you bring him up
Speaker 1: alongside Sophie when there was so much understandable focus on her.
Speaker 3: It's a really tricky The siblings of children with ongoing
Speaker 3: medical editions or disability have a rough time and they're
Speaker 3: an underrecognized group. I joined him up to Siblings Australia
Speaker 3: straight away, and it's a charity of foundation that was
Speaker 3: set up by a women in South Australia. It's the
Speaker 3: only one I could find, but I wanted to show
Speaker 3: him that there was support there for him. I always
Speaker 3: made sure that he had access to all supports that
Speaker 3: he would need from a counseling point of view, and
Speaker 3: that he felt as involved. The staff of the children's
Speaker 3: hospital really looked out for him. As I mentioned, the
Speaker 3: ladies and the canteen still ask after him when we
Speaker 3: go in, so he was as loved a member of
Speaker 3: the community. What we did when we were living in
Speaker 3: the hospital for him because of the intensity of the
Speaker 3: week and I guess the rawness of n and our emotion,
Speaker 3: my emotions. In order to give him some normality and
Speaker 3: routine in his life. My parents moved over from New Zealand.
Speaker 3: We had previously lived in Australia, so it was an
Speaker 3: easy transition for them. But they came and lived in
Speaker 3: our home for a year and my mother became his
Speaker 3: principal care Yeah, so she would get him to take
Speaker 3: care and you know, teach him to walk numbers down
Speaker 3: the road and look at the side posters.
Speaker 1: So you could really relax that side and go that sorted.
Speaker 1: I can really just focus my energy.
Speaker 3: And he would come in for the latter half of
Speaker 3: the week and the weekend and it was awful. We
Speaker 3: would have friends pick him up on a Sunday, take
Speaker 3: him out and do something special and take him home.
Speaker 3: And he was always very distressed by.
Speaker 1: That, having to leave or having to be there.
Speaker 3: Having to leave, Yes, and it's tough, but we knew
Speaker 3: ultimately it would be better for him to be at
Speaker 3: home in his own bed for some of that time.
Speaker 2: And he was always very protective of mom and Dad
Speaker 2: and myself, Like when I first lost my legs, he
Speaker 2: told mom and Dad that Sophie's legs will grow back
Speaker 2: like a lizard's tale, like trying to make a situation
Speaker 2: very like a lot better.
Speaker 3: He's always been incredibly protective of so innately he just
Speaker 3: can read it, you know, have this enduring image and
Speaker 3: I've spoken of it before of walking into the Australia
Speaker 3: Museum and he's sussed out of the room, looked at
Speaker 3: where the parents and the children are, and he's seen
Speaker 3: someone and he's seen the children look and so he's
Speaker 3: grab his prap and turned her around and taken her
Speaker 3: to an exhibit over there. So that he's always averted.
Speaker 3: And he was four, no, sorry, he would have been five,
Speaker 3: It would have been quite early. One of the things
Speaker 3: that we'd tried to do for sofa is not cotton
Speaker 3: wool wrapper and cotton wool. It's like if she was
Speaker 3: well enough to go out, she was well enough to
Speaker 3: go to the museum or to the aquarium, or for
Speaker 3: a walk on the beach, whatever, And as soon as
Speaker 3: she could have all her bandages off and her pressure
Speaker 3: garments off, she was not one to cover up. If
Speaker 3: it was hot, she would strip off and her legs
Speaker 3: would be out and loud and proud she will. That
Speaker 3: was her, that's innately her. And you need to be
Speaker 3: pushing this little little t shirt and little shorts, you know,
Speaker 3: quite when she was young. That's very different for children
Speaker 3: in particular to see someone without legs, like where did
Speaker 3: legs go? Well, let me tell you a story.
Speaker 1: But you all guys were also famous, like super famous.
Speaker 1: Everybody in Australia recognized your faces. So that's a whole
Speaker 1: other level of staring and attention that how do you
Speaker 1: live with that? Because it's a funny kind of celebrity
Speaker 1: where everyone feels that they know you. Right.
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think that's best dancewered by Sophie, But for
Speaker 3: me it was well, I can either have people stare
Speaker 3: at her or they can say hello and send her love,
Speaker 3: and as a parent, I thought, well, I know which
Speaker 3: one i'd prefer, so I think we'll just go down
Speaker 3: this path. And yeah, so I've got a lot of
Speaker 3: love from people. The other side to that was that
Speaker 3: I know that Sophie. In fact, I was talking to
Speaker 3: a friend of mine about it. Yesterday. We were at
Speaker 3: the Australia Zoo and this woman came up to you
Speaker 3: and she said, oh, I'm so pleased you love this
Speaker 3: place too. This is my sanctuary. I'm going through cancer treatment.
Speaker 3: And she said, and it's made doubly special for me
Speaker 3: today because I've seen you here. And then there was
Speaker 3: another incident where you someone had written and said I
Speaker 3: had been thinking of suiciding and I've read your story.
Speaker 3: I now realize what I have to live for. It's
Speaker 3: incredibly powerful stuff. So if by Sophie having a public
Speaker 3: image because so many people loved and cared about her,
Speaker 3: and the story continued, because there was just this continuance,
Speaker 3: a natural continuance. Everyone thought it would end, but it continued.
Speaker 3: It was important for me to know that if the
Speaker 3: story was a public one, as it was anyway, and
Speaker 3: it helped people to change their life for better or
Speaker 3: live a better life. Then that was some important legacy.
Speaker 1: It's a lot, though, like you're still like at nineteen
Speaker 1: you kind of I don't know, you want to maybe
Speaker 1: drink and dates and people and make some mistakes and
Speaker 1: maybe not drink. But like that's a lot to take
Speaker 1: on everybody's feelings about you and everybody's you've saved my
Speaker 1: life or changed my life or I'm so grateful, Like
Speaker 1: is that why you wanted to go to the UK?
Speaker 2: Everyone thinks that, but honestly, for me, it was just
Speaker 2: to see if I could manage my care by myself.
Speaker 2: And I felt like if I stayed in Australia.
Speaker 1: Couldn't you have just moved out of home? No?
Speaker 2: I mean yes, but everything was set up for me,
Speaker 2: Like my physio was a pharmacy that set up for me.
Speaker 2: I've my doctors, everything are set up, and I wanted
Speaker 2: to see if I could just go to another country,
Speaker 2: start where, yeah, where I knew no one, and just
Speaker 2: try and see if I myself could do it. And
Speaker 2: that's why, like my mom and dad and everyone wanted
Speaker 2: a care to go on the plane with me, and
Speaker 2: I was like, no, they can come a week after.
Speaker 2: Like I understand I said yes, for my mom's sake
Speaker 2: and my dad's sake and everyone's sake.
Speaker 1: But I was like, throw mom and dad a speaking
Speaker 1: on behalf of mom's and dad and I throw us
Speaker 1: a bone, and at least come and carry the bags. See.
Speaker 2: I think they wanted it to be them, but I
Speaker 2: was like, no, my friend can come instead.
Speaker 1: Proxy she was.
Speaker 2: She's a nurse, so I mean, it's okay, there we go.
Speaker 2: She was my care so yeah, so she came like
Speaker 2: a week later. So I just wanted to see if
Speaker 2: that first week I could just take that big step myself.
Speaker 1: How was that first week? Oh?
Speaker 2: Hell, it was horrible.
Speaker 3: Was it hard?
Speaker 1: I imagine it was.
Speaker 2: I binged like most of the seasons of Friends. I
Speaker 2: thought you were gonna say I nailed it was. I
Speaker 2: was just very shocked by it all. Like I love
Speaker 2: traveling and I love London, but just I had no
Speaker 2: idea and what to expect. I thought I'd get there
Speaker 2: straight away and it would be my dream. But it
Speaker 2: got there and I was like I'm alone and just
Speaker 2: trying to figure out.
Speaker 1: I thought that path through it exactly, you can't do exactly.
Speaker 2: I had no idea what i'd feel and like saying
Speaker 2: goodbye was one of the hardest things and still is.
Speaker 2: I hate saying goodbye. So like, once I got there
Speaker 2: and just realizing I have no appointments, I have no
Speaker 2: one to see, I have nothing to do, like it's
Speaker 2: all up to me, there was an overwhelming sense of
Speaker 2: freedom that terrified me. Not that I never had freedom,
Speaker 2: I have so much freedom here, but to know that
Speaker 2: I get to choose everything for myself, Like every choice
Speaker 2: I make is mine, no one else's, And that just
Speaker 2: was so overwhelming.
Speaker 1: How long ago is this?
Speaker 2: That was my last year.
Speaker 1: And then what happened? Did COVID happen? Well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, then I went to university in September. I moved
Speaker 2: into a student hall some of the best people of
Speaker 2: my life, and I finished my UNI degree well almost,
Speaker 2: I had two weeks left of union or something. I
Speaker 2: was doing social anthropology and development and then yeah, just stop.
Speaker 2: But the weirdest thing was.
Speaker 1: You finished your degree or COVID heat and you decided
Speaker 1: you had to come home.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 2: So the weirdest thing was we had four weeks worth
Speaker 2: of strikes at my UNI for something or ever.
Speaker 1: It was like this year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, that was in February and that was like
Speaker 2: seventy universities in London were doing so it was a
Speaker 2: massive thing. So I had UNI off like odd days.
Speaker 2: So it was two weeks worth of strikes, but over
Speaker 2: four weeks that all happened. And then we had a
Speaker 2: week back at UNI and two of my classes were
Speaker 2: canceled anyway because the lectures weren't there. And then UNI
Speaker 2: was shut down. So I have hardly attended university.
Speaker 1: I had a whole year, you had a whole another
Speaker 1: year to go.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was on my first year of my degree.
Speaker 2: So then I was coming back anyway for medical legal reasons.
Speaker 2: And then I decided, well, I couldn't go back really,
Speaker 2: And then I decided that for now, at least, I'm
Speaker 2: just gonna defer UNI for a year, stay here and
Speaker 2: just appreciate what I have here instead of going back
Speaker 2: to so much uncertainty where if something happened here and
Speaker 2: I couldn't get back in time, or it just was
Speaker 2: too much. So I decided to be here with my
Speaker 2: loved ones and.
Speaker 1: A compromised do you have to be extra careful.
Speaker 2: I probably should be, well, like I don't let anything stop,
Speaker 2: like if I want to go out to like shops.
Speaker 2: I want to do that, like global pandemics locked down. No,
Speaker 2: when I first got here, I legally had to because
Speaker 2: I was quarantine. Thankfully, I just missed the hotel. I
Speaker 2: was the week before the hotel quarantine got in. Yeah,
Speaker 2: so I stayed inside for those two weeks in my room.
Speaker 2: And then I want to see my friends. I hadn't
Speaker 2: seen them in almost a year or something, so I
Speaker 2: just slowly went out, Like coffees and shops and all
Speaker 2: that were still closed. So now I'm just go out
Speaker 2: to like an empty cinema or like things. Well, like
Speaker 2: I'm not in huge crowds anyway.
Speaker 1: Like everyone. I guess.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly when you were in the.
Speaker 1: UK, what was the biggest difference that you noticed.
Speaker 2: See. The weirdest thing is I still got recognized over there,
Speaker 2: did you? I got recognized. The weirdest one was in
Speaker 2: a gym changing room by an American woman and I
Speaker 2: was so confused. And her Auntie or Nan was Australian
Speaker 2: and raised her like when she was young, told her
Speaker 2: about me or something, but this woman was mid late
Speaker 2: twenties or something. I was very surprised, and it was
Speaker 2: the weirdest thing that was only a few months into
Speaker 2: me being there, and I've had people from Australia who've
Speaker 2: moved to the UK or were visiting the UK be like, oh,
Speaker 2: that's sleepe easier then come up to me, which was
Speaker 2: very lovely of them.
Speaker 1: Is it lovely?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Or can it be a bit intrusive when you're just
Speaker 1: trying to get on with your life?
Speaker 2: I don't know any different. Yeah, I guess so. Which
Speaker 2: is the weirdest thing because.
Speaker 1: I watch everyone project, you know, preparing to meet you. Today,
Speaker 1: I watched a bunch of interviews and I watch all
Speaker 1: of these older people, you know, around my age and
Speaker 1: older projecting onto you. Oh I remember when this happened,
Speaker 1: and it's like everyone has to work through their own
Speaker 1: emotions about it. And like I was watching sixty Minutes
Speaker 1: this morning and I had my little cry, but that's
Speaker 1: nothing to do with you and nothing to do with
Speaker 1: your life now, and you were just a bit like yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, pretty much because I had enough.
Speaker 3: To happen to you.
Speaker 2: Well, like exactly what my mum said before. It's the
Speaker 2: fact that my story has helped people and has I
Speaker 2: know this is weird, but I don't like the word
Speaker 2: inspired because I guess.
Speaker 1: Yeah, some people with disabilities hate that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and like I'm okay for it low to like it. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like I'm okay if people use it on me, but
Speaker 2: I don't like using the word. But if I've helped
Speaker 2: people change their lives in some way, that's all I
Speaker 2: care about.
Speaker 1: I don't be very invested in you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly. And if they can find any bit of
Speaker 2: hope or courage from it, yeah, I'm happy to give it.
Speaker 2: I am not going to shy away from my story
Speaker 2: or the spotlight because I want to like hide from it,
Speaker 2: because it's my life. I can't do anything about it.
Speaker 2: I'm just going to create as much change as i
Speaker 2: can while i'm here.
Speaker 1: When you were a teenager, did you rebel against your
Speaker 1: parents because you seem to love them and they love you?
Speaker 2: Obviously, I was a hard teenager to do it what
Speaker 2: we like as a teenager, bossy, controlling a chatter box,
Speaker 2: my way or the high.
Speaker 1: Them away though? Will you like a bit?
Speaker 2: Well, I did suffer from a lot of mental health
Speaker 2: illnesses when I was in my early teenage years, so
Speaker 2: I naturally did because of that, which is both to
Speaker 2: do with my disability and just life.
Speaker 1: And you know, and being a teenage girl exactly.
Speaker 2: Everyone suffers from something or another at some point in
Speaker 2: their life. I think that period I definitely did. But
Speaker 2: like every teenager goes to a phase of no, like
Speaker 2: say no to their parents and wanting just their own space,
Speaker 2: So I think mine was just pretty natural for at
Speaker 2: least from my perspective. It was like I hear sories
Speaker 2: mum's friends who has a kid who's fourteen, She's complaining
Speaker 2: about her daughter doing this, and I was like, I
Speaker 2: did that, Like, yeah, Mitchell did that. We all did that, Like, yeah,
Speaker 2: it's true, it didn't.
Speaker 1: I suppose it's just the difference in how protective you
Speaker 1: are and how because injuries and disability can be in
Speaker 1: fantializing in a way, can't it, in the sense that
Speaker 1: you need care and you need your reliance, Yeah, your
Speaker 1: reliance on other sides.
Speaker 3: And I think it's we were so proud of Sophia
Speaker 3: when she went to the UK, because it's like, I
Speaker 3: done my job, She's got there on our road.
Speaker 1: Do you cry so much?
Speaker 3: It's funny, you know, at different times, I would certainly
Speaker 3: not at the airport, not to show SOFI know, dad
Speaker 3: anywhere currently got the Sopha's getting the PIC talk right
Speaker 3: after the get.
Speaker 2: I'm crying like the entire twenty six hour flight.
Speaker 1: There, because that's natural pushing away, which a mother has
Speaker 1: to really respect in the sense that it's a very
Speaker 1: normal part. But you also still have this caretaking role.
Speaker 3: And yeah, you know it's the juggle of Sophie as
Speaker 3: her care has changed as she's aged in terms of
Speaker 3: giving her some more opportunity to negotiate her own pathway forward.
Speaker 3: And you know, we know that she needs to keep mobile,
Speaker 3: and you know, when swimming wasn't working out, we had
Speaker 3: to look at other options. That's where rowan.
Speaker 1: Cans otherwise gets tired.
Speaker 3: It gets tired definitely, And so so it's really good
Speaker 3: about managing her physical strength now through various means. I
Speaker 3: think she's overall done a really good job. There were
Speaker 3: times we really feel sorry for Jenny her physio on
Speaker 3: Saturday mornings.
Speaker 2: I was physio because it was stretching that I liked. Right,
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: Morning.
Speaker 2: I was not a morning person as a teenager. It
Speaker 2: was more the fact that I didn't see the need
Speaker 2: for it. It might have had, it might not have,
Speaker 2: but I was like, why, Yeah, and I think as
Speaker 2: you get older, every teenager comes to an appreciation of
Speaker 2: their parents and the role they play.
Speaker 1: Like at that age, does that happen. Yeah, my daughter's fourteen, my.
Speaker 2: Brother's twenty one, and I still don't think he realized it.
Speaker 2: I definitely it took me time. You know, during those
Speaker 2: middle teenagers fourteen to sixteen, I didn't realize that, like
Speaker 2: how much everyone has done for me, whether it's my physio,
Speaker 2: my mum or whoever. Especially once I moved to England,
Speaker 2: like that appreciation just doubled in size because I realized
Speaker 2: how much everyone, like my parents have built stuff for me.
Speaker 2: Whether you're disabled or not, you value how much of
Speaker 2: your life is to do with your parents, and they
Speaker 2: shape you, whether it's good or bad. They're gonna shape
Speaker 2: you no matter what. And so that appreciation definitely came
Speaker 2: to me, even more so when you moved to the.
Speaker 1: Uka, Carol in the first time. The first accident, you
Speaker 1: could speak quite fatalistic, I imagine, and say this was terrible
Speaker 1: luck it was a driver had a seizure. The second
Speaker 1: time two years later, How the hell do you reconcile that.
Speaker 3: I don't think you can, other than you think there's
Speaker 3: a divine purpose. What is it?
Speaker 1: Ye? Come on, Mary, but are you really trying to
Speaker 1: test my faith here?
Speaker 3: And then it's like that's never going to be answered
Speaker 3: park it and for us was more of a continuance
Speaker 3: because our biggest gap from a hospital visit was only
Speaker 3: a couple of weeks at that point anyway, So it's
Speaker 3: just like we just clicked into an automation on an
Speaker 3: eye of we've done this before, we know what to do,
Speaker 3: pulling these teams do it this way, the same thing.
Speaker 3: Friends came around, they were sorting the mail, they were
Speaker 3: doing this, you know, and everyone just clicked into.
Speaker 1: The same jobs before.
Speaker 3: It was kind of weird. It was surreal. Certainly, one
Speaker 3: of the.
Speaker 2: Most beautiful things about the second accident was that we
Speaker 2: had even more people around, like people who were my
Speaker 2: rehabilitation swim teachers, who worked on my second preschool. They
Speaker 2: lived around the corner for where Mitchell went to school
Speaker 2: when he went to primary school, so they'd pick him
Speaker 2: up after school. So people that we never knew before
Speaker 2: the accident in the first accident were then around for
Speaker 2: the second accident to help with that. We had all
Speaker 2: the people before, plus all these other wonderful people in
Speaker 2: our lives who had the knowledge of disabilities and all
Speaker 2: of that turst of stuff with that as.
Speaker 1: Well, with the injuries very different and the type of
Speaker 1: thing that you were dealing with very different.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it was actually because she was not hit by
Speaker 3: the car in the first accident, so there was no
Speaker 3: blunt force trauma. And with a second it's a very
Speaker 3: different things where there's broken bones and a head injury.
Speaker 2: And most of my first accident injuries were external. We're
Speaker 2: a second accident it was all internal, so it's complete opposite.
Speaker 1: Why did you tell Sophie about it, Well.
Speaker 3: That you got hitched on a crossing with Tar, but
Speaker 3: Tar was okay.
Speaker 2: My assistants dock at the assistant dog.
Speaker 1: I've was seen your beautiful assistance dog.
Speaker 3: She was a door a special dog.
Speaker 1: Did you have more assistance dogs after her because she
Speaker 1: died early? Didn't she? Yeah? Fair, I mean, honestly, it.
Speaker 2: Was tragic and she was like the top of the
Speaker 2: class assistant dog. You could not get a better one.
Speaker 2: And then we decided to take up break for a
Speaker 2: little while because we were so upset about that and
Speaker 2: we didn't want to feel like you could just replace
Speaker 2: an animal like that. We now have our second assistant's
Speaker 2: dog who's not at all the top of the classes.
Speaker 2: And I put it nicely, she barely graduated us is
Speaker 2: her more hundred percent? Like the best thing about Willow
Speaker 2: that's her name, is she thinks she's trying to help.
Speaker 2: So like she sees her shoe put in the corner
Speaker 2: room and she'll carry around the house for the entire
Speaker 2: day and then you go to take it off her
Speaker 2: and she'll be like nope and turn ahead and walk
Speaker 2: away from you the last minute.
Speaker 1: You're her assistants human really.
Speaker 2: Like she accidentally eats my dressings, my bandages and things
Speaker 2: like that, like.
Speaker 1: From tidy up the bin. I'm disposed of the evidence.
Speaker 1: I'm just gonna eat it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but she is the best house pet. She is
Speaker 2: the worst assistant girl said say that. There's no doubt
Speaker 2: about that. But she needs Yeah literally, she's the emotional support. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she'll be at my door crying, and you know, I'll
Speaker 2: just open the door and sit on my bed and
Speaker 2: just lie there for like two minutes and then walk away. Again.
Speaker 3: It's so much better.
Speaker 1: I would like a snack, literally.
Speaker 2: Wonderes she not well food? But yeah, so she's I
Speaker 2: call her an emotional support dog, yeah, rather than a
Speaker 2: self retired assistant's dog. And from the day we got
Speaker 2: she never really passed.
Speaker 3: I let her graduate, though we get.
Speaker 2: She got a little like graduation certificate and everything.
Speaker 1: That's cute. How do you have any faith in cars
Speaker 1: and in the world and in walking down the street?
Speaker 1: You know, like having that shaken for you? I imagine
Speaker 1: that's for you because you don't have actual memories of it.
Speaker 3: Look, you can't live your life in fear.
Speaker 1: I mean you can, well many people do.
Speaker 3: No, No, that's right, But I'm suggesting cost bad stuff
Speaker 3: happens to good people. You can either just pick up
Speaker 3: and keep on, or you can let something bad consume
Speaker 3: you and living a life of fear or regret. It's
Speaker 3: not a happy life. It's not a life that necessarily
Speaker 3: is going to fulfill you as a human. And I
Speaker 3: think you pick yourself up and you keep going, and
Speaker 3: you know that's incredibly tough some days. And so will
Speaker 3: be the first to admit that not every day is
Speaker 3: a fabulous day.
Speaker 1: What does a bad day look like?
Speaker 2: So? I think for me at this point in my life,
Speaker 2: it's when because I always have pressure wings on my
Speaker 2: legs because of my prosthetics. So it's when they're beyond
Speaker 2: painful that I can't put on my prosthetic. And for me,
Speaker 2: my prosthetics are my main type of freedom. I'm happy
Speaker 2: to use my wheelchair outside the house, but I need
Speaker 2: my prosthetics to drive my car. I need my prosthetics
Speaker 2: to you know, if I'm out of place with stairs,
Speaker 2: to walk up the stairs. So I think the hardest
Speaker 2: days are the ones where I just have to do nothing.
Speaker 2: And I'm the type of person I like having plans.
Speaker 2: I like being busy and always having things to do,
Speaker 2: because when I don't, then I'm not brought out of
Speaker 2: my mind. But then those days come about and I
Speaker 2: hate nonetheless. No matter how much things I have to
Speaker 2: do on my computer or whatever.
Speaker 1: Do they happen off of those days?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I go through periods at least once a month
Speaker 2: with them. I'm prone to infections, then a million other things,
Speaker 2: and like sometimes my wounds just get deeper than they
Speaker 2: should or I get more irritations. Then I would.
Speaker 1: Normal use your prosthetics more than you're meant to.
Speaker 2: When I was in high school, my guy who makes
Speaker 2: my legs, my processis made sure that. I Well, he
Speaker 2: told me I should only wear my legs three hours
Speaker 2: a day. I did not go up to plan.
Speaker 1: How often do you how much to do it?
Speaker 2: You were twelve to fourteen hours a day.
Speaker 1: Yeah, right, and then you suffer the consequences, which is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But for me, I don't care. Like I've had
Speaker 2: points in my life where my doctor's like, Sophie, you
Speaker 2: need to stop wearing your legs otherwise next week you'll
Speaker 2: be in here for emergency surgery to get like the
Speaker 2: wounds cover it up. I did not stop wearing my legs,
Speaker 2: and it naturally healed itself. I'm very proud of that moment.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Caroline told me about body image in your teenage years.
Speaker 1: I mean, it's tricky for any girl.
Speaker 2: I definitely struggled with weight management and all that, and
Speaker 2: that I like perception of like seeing these girls and
Speaker 2: you know, just freely walking onto the beach and going
Speaker 2: for a swim, where I had to take my prosthetics
Speaker 2: off and take my dressings off and then put them
Speaker 2: back on and do all of that. And I think
Speaker 2: for me it was especially hard because when I had
Speaker 2: my second accident, I had to eat a lot of
Speaker 2: high fat foods to gain weight because I was so
Speaker 2: malnourished and my body needed more food and energy and
Speaker 2: all that. But I think everyone's going to suffer with
Speaker 2: it at some point. Like that's the horrible part of
Speaker 2: society is that there is such a stigma about the
Speaker 2: perfect body image. But it's just trying to find a
Speaker 2: piece with yourself. Whether that's not a certain size or weight,
Speaker 2: but knowing you're doing what's best for your health, whether
Speaker 2: it's exercising once a week or at least eating a
Speaker 2: somewhat of a balance, it's died. I don't think it
Speaker 2: matters how you look, but how you manage your life
Speaker 2: around healthiness and all of that. But as a teenager,
Speaker 2: I definitely like covered up a lot more. I'm very modest.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna wear like a crop top where you
Speaker 2: can see my like half my stomach and all of that,
Speaker 2: and like short shorts when my butts hanging out and whatnot.
Speaker 2: I just was naturally because when I went to high school,
Speaker 2: I didn't wear my prosthetics for my first few years,
Speaker 2: So I just naturally covered up anyway, because I when
Speaker 2: I was going through that dark phase in my life,
Speaker 2: didn't want people to see certain things about me, and
Speaker 2: I think just as I've grown older, as I've gone
Speaker 2: into sports and gained muscle and all of that and
Speaker 2: built that confidence in the athletic area, i think it's
Speaker 2: just gone away from me and I've just now like
Speaker 2: I still everyone still stuffers with it, no matter how
Speaker 2: old you are. I still suffer it that individually myself,
Speaker 2: But it's just coming to acceptance that I am doing
Speaker 2: what's best for my body. I can't overwork myself. I
Speaker 2: can only do so much, whether that's you know, someone
Speaker 2: would work or like you know, you can't go to
Speaker 2: the gym ten times a day because you've got you know,
Speaker 2: full job and a full time job and whatnot. So
Speaker 2: I'm just, you know, doing what I can to help
Speaker 2: with my health and fitness. And I think that's all
Speaker 2: you can really do in your life.
Speaker 1: Sport seems to have really flipped the switch from what
Speaker 1: your body is limited in doing as to what your
Speaker 1: body can do because you're an incredibly successful roa.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think.
Speaker 1: What was it like being out on the water.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well it all started for me with swimming. I
Speaker 2: my rehab when I first came out of hospital was
Speaker 2: swimming like to build all my muscle was straight. They
Speaker 2: put me in the pool straight away, like I was
Speaker 2: always a water baby. I loved swimming all of that
Speaker 2: before my accident, and so they just put me back in.
Speaker 2: So sport has always been my rehab no matter what.
Speaker 2: So when I was competitively swimming so much and then
Speaker 2: I got a rotator cuff injury reoccurring, then they were like, Okay,
Speaker 2: you've been swimming too much, let's try a different sport.
Speaker 1: Then I went into pattern here, yeah, pushing to the limit.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, you moved high schools a few times, Yes.
Speaker 2: I did. My first time was more for personal reasons
Speaker 2: and the fact that I never felt like I fully belonged.
Speaker 2: It was a wonderful school, and every school I've been
Speaker 2: to has taught me something completely different and has given
Speaker 2: me support in such a different way. There was a
Speaker 2: lot of changes going on at the school at the time,
Speaker 2: and I just felt like I needed to change myself
Speaker 2: and move somewhere else. And I had a best friend
Speaker 2: from primary school who went to another school and was
Speaker 2: still close friends, and I thought I wanted to give
Speaker 2: out co ed learning go So I moved there and
Speaker 2: it was wonderful, but it didn't feel right, like perfect
Speaker 2: for me. So then a very good family friend of mine,
Speaker 2: the one who came to England with me the week later. Yeah,
Speaker 2: she went to my final high school, like graduated five
Speaker 2: years after that before I did. And she said from
Speaker 2: day one it was a senior school, so you could
Speaker 2: only go for year eleven and twelve. She went, said
Speaker 2: since day one of me leaving my first school, you
Speaker 2: would love the school. And I went and it was
Speaker 2: the complete opposite. Each three schools were completely polar opposites.
Speaker 2: I went from an old girls school and then to
Speaker 2: a co ed, then to a school where you called
Speaker 2: their teachers by their first name.
Speaker 1: And that was the one that suited you the best.
Speaker 2: It was so you got so much freedom and you
Speaker 2: were allowed to grow individually.
Speaker 1: I felt.
Speaker 2: I feel a lot of schools try and compress the
Speaker 2: child's individuality and creativity, except in the creative subjects. And
Speaker 2: I felt this school because you could wear whatever you
Speaker 2: wanted to school. We had a common room where it
Speaker 2: wasn't just for one year, it was for both years.
Speaker 2: And you could go out at lunch if you wanted
Speaker 2: to go up to chats what it.
Speaker 1: Want, So you were treated much more like an adult exactly.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was an adult learning environment. Yeah. And I
Speaker 2: know people I went to school with it didn't suit them.
Speaker 2: They moved schools or they ended up going to take
Speaker 2: for apprenticeships and whatnot. But for some of my best
Speaker 2: friends still to this day, it was the best thing
Speaker 2: that could have done for them. It just so happened
Speaker 2: that we met the people that changed our lives for
Speaker 2: the better. Like my best friends I met on the
Speaker 2: first day and were still best friends. It just worked
Speaker 2: for me. It was what I needed in a school.
Speaker 2: I needed that independence and that opportunity to let me grow.
Speaker 2: And then I moved to England to get more independence independence.
Speaker 1: There was another little girl that was endured that day
Speaker 1: as well, Molly would Molly. She sort of disappeared from
Speaker 1: the public ice quite quickly. I suppose everybody wanted you
Speaker 1: guys to sort of stay friends and all of that
Speaker 1: was her experience very different to yours or you've lost contact.
Speaker 2: She her family wanted to shy away from the media
Speaker 2: a bit more. We're completely their decision, no judgment there
Speaker 2: for that, but I think they took a different approach
Speaker 2: to the trauma.
Speaker 1: I mean, most people aren't still friends with someone they
Speaker 1: were friends with it too exactly.
Speaker 3: They ended up moving to the UK, so that.
Speaker 2: When we were quite young, like they moved around ten
Speaker 2: years ago. Now I still remember saying goodbye to her.
Speaker 2: But yeah, to that point to yeah, Molly's mum, Caroline
Speaker 2: was British and then she wanted to go back for
Speaker 2: a family. So yeah, there was the type of thing
Speaker 2: that we just naturally split apart. But we're Facebook friends.
Speaker 2: We haven't been in contact as such, but.
Speaker 1: We Facebook friends will do it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly, it doesn't for now like COVID's Yeah, like
Speaker 2: otherwise may have seen each other, but it's to explame
Speaker 2: it on COVID.
Speaker 1: Post Traumatic stress syndrome is something that I thought everybody
Speaker 1: got after they experienced a tragedy or a catastrophic traumatic
Speaker 1: event since talking to a lot of people, but also
Speaker 1: in Leis sales book One Ordinary Day, she talks about
Speaker 1: how what you don't hear about is post traumatic growth
Speaker 1: syndrome as well, that a lot of people have the
Speaker 1: light in their life turned up, not down, by a
Speaker 1: tragedy or a catastrophic trauma. I get the sense that's
Speaker 1: the case with you. I don't want to pollyannerate but
Speaker 1: you seem to I don't know, is that true. I
Speaker 1: don't want to put words in your mouth.
Speaker 3: Well, I think it is in the sense that I
Speaker 3: felt our lives became more enriched by the experience and
Speaker 3: because of the people, the inspiring people we met, stories
Speaker 3: of people who've risen to challenges beyond anything we've experienced.
Speaker 3: They're just great stories of inspiration. Well that word inspiration,
Speaker 3: but they do when you're in this situation, they do
Speaker 3: inspire you to keep going. The people who've reached out
Speaker 3: to us that had no connection to us, who felt
Speaker 3: that they could offer us something to help us through,
Speaker 3: and the support that we've had as a family from
Speaker 3: the community. You know, so I said it was bigger
Speaker 3: than we could manage. We reached out and we were
Speaker 3: supported by the community, which allowed us in turn to
Speaker 3: support a broader.
Speaker 1: Community through the charity millions of dollars.
Speaker 3: But also through the gifts that we were given from
Speaker 3: the community. If we couldn't use the gifts, we would
Speaker 3: find people who could use the gifts. If it was food,
Speaker 3: or if it was clothing or whatever was sent. If
Speaker 3: we didn't have a need ourselves, we knew where it
Speaker 3: could be best used. And so we were in a
Speaker 3: fortunate position, certainly living in a children's hossible for the
Speaker 3: length of time that we had to meet people who
Speaker 3: needed more and organizations and other charities that touch I
Speaker 3: think of the Steve Wall Foundation that touch on the
Speaker 3: rarest type of syndromes, you know, so we can sort
Speaker 3: of like a club.
Speaker 1: That no one wants to join, but once you're in it,
Speaker 1: you meet some pretty amazing people.
Speaker 3: Do meet amazing people.
Speaker 1: Sophie, Is it weird when you've got the media speculating
Speaker 1: on whether you've got a boyfriend or got a boyfriend?
Speaker 2: I found when I first moved to England. It was
Speaker 2: a bit shocking because I think.
Speaker 1: That's like we were in the gossip column Suddenly.
Speaker 2: I was very confused about that, especially because people I
Speaker 2: was speculated to be dating were gay. But there were
Speaker 2: photos of me with their boyfriend and my older friend,
Speaker 2: and like it was immediately like they have to be
Speaker 2: together because my entire life, some of my closest friends
Speaker 2: are guys I've always had.
Speaker 1: So they're scanning your Instagram and trying to make stories
Speaker 1: around the pictures exactly. I mean, that must be It's
Speaker 1: funny in a way. Carolyn when you think about all
Speaker 1: those dark knights of the soul that you must have
Speaker 1: had in hospitals, and just think, one day the gossip
Speaker 1: is going to be like Sophie Delizia's new boyfriend, Like
Speaker 1: you would have loved to have that as a problem
Speaker 1: right back then when you were thinking about Kohala's bearing
Speaker 1: exactly do you kind of just laugh?
Speaker 2: Yeah, My friends and the ones who've been speculated that
Speaker 2: I'm dating, we love it. Like whatever, there's a gossip
Speaker 2: article that comes out, we always cried around a phone
Speaker 2: and we're like reading it, like, oh, I think there's
Speaker 2: that's hysterical.
Speaker 1: Like Sophie gossip bingo exactly exactly's gonna get called?
Speaker 2: Oh, it's so funny, Like the guy went to formal
Speaker 2: with outat a girlfriend and like we'll just photographed together
Speaker 2: as like a here's my formal date sort of thing,
Speaker 2: like here's my best friend.
Speaker 1: I think it's part of everyone just feeling so invested
Speaker 1: in your happiness. Yea, And that's not necessarily what happiness is,
Speaker 1: having a boyfriend or a girlfriend or whatever. That's not
Speaker 1: necessarily what happiness is, but it's everyone just wants, you know,
Speaker 1: no happily ever after but it seems to me that
Speaker 1: you've got that in just who you are and the
Speaker 1: relationship you have with your family exactly.
Speaker 2: And I think my friends have such a big part
Speaker 2: to do with that as well, Like I don't need
Speaker 2: a boyfriend to be happy.
Speaker 1: You sure don't. Yeah, what extraordinary women you both are.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 1: Your relationship is just beautiful to behold as well. The
Speaker 1: care that you have with each other is just so beautiful.
Speaker 1: I hope you feel the love that everybody has when
Speaker 1: I tell them that you're both coming in. Oh. I
Speaker 1: was so excited to meet Sophie and her mum. I
Speaker 1: feel like their faces are sort of etched in to
Speaker 1: my mind and my heart in the way that they
Speaker 1: are for so many people. And it's really interesting when
Speaker 1: you meet people that you feel you have watched through
Speaker 1: the media for so many years and who you've sort
Speaker 1: of rooted for behind the scenes. They were just so
Speaker 1: Caroline had like a real sort of solid I don't know,
Speaker 1: she just seemed very grounded, and Sophie was just more
Speaker 1: grounded and more delightful than your average nineteen year old.
Speaker 1: She was just joyful. She has a real lightness and
Speaker 1: cheekiness in her spirit. And I was just so buzzed.
Speaker 1: And when I told people that I'd interviewed them, they
Speaker 1: were like, oh my god, oh my god. Like everyone's
Speaker 1: got a real connection, which must be kind of weird
Speaker 1: if you're Sophie and her mum, but yeah, they are
Speaker 1: such such beautiful people. To find out more or donate
Speaker 1: to Sophie's charity Day of Difference, which has helped so
Speaker 1: many people, please head to the link in our show notes.
Speaker 1: Side was produced by Leah Porges. The executive producer of
Speaker 1: No Filter is Eliza Ratliffe. I'm Meya Friedman and I'll
Speaker 1: see you on momamya dot com dot au