WEBVTT - What If Your Baby Never Stopped Crying?

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<v Speaker 1>We acknowledged the traditional custodians of the land we're recording

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<v Speaker 1>on today. My entire world literally.

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<v Speaker 2>Just imploded in those first months, just thinking what the

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<v Speaker 2>fuck have I done? There was no newborn bubble. It

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<v Speaker 2>was a This has been the biggest mistake of my life.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't believe I've done this.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, we are back. Did you miss us?

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<v Speaker 2>This is your favorite podcast back in your ears Every Wednesday, Eat, Sleep, Shit, Repeat,

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<v Speaker 2>a wildly unhinched podcast about the madness that is motherhood

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<v Speaker 2>and everything in between.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Kelly McCarran. What a stunning introduction. I'm Kiri Cels

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<v Speaker 1>and it is bloody glorious to be bad. We really

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<v Speaker 1>appreciated all of the lovely messages from our shitters who

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<v Speaker 1>were like, how am I supposed to cope without you?

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<v Speaker 1>And we weren't really coping without you either, So we

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<v Speaker 1>made it swift and short, and we are back better

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<v Speaker 1>than ever with a much tighter show.

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<v Speaker 2>Unlike Maya Nus, which is really upsetting me at the moment.

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<v Speaker 2>He used to resemble a nice, tight bitch and now

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<v Speaker 2>it looks like a.

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<v Speaker 1>Deflated burger bun. I didn't approve that, yew.

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<v Speaker 2>Also, you have confirmed that it does now look like

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<v Speaker 2>that it does. Later on in the episode, we will

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<v Speaker 2>get into the meaty topic of the week, what to

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<v Speaker 2>do when your baby won't stop crying. But first now,

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<v Speaker 2>in our last episode, we did ask the shitter is

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<v Speaker 2>about what they thought about us doing our weekly peek

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<v Speaker 2>and Pit, and the response was overwhelmingly positive.

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<v Speaker 1>It was unanimous. Please do not stop.

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<v Speaker 2>Everyone was saying, I love it. They make me feel

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<v Speaker 2>more normal. I love hearing about your lives. Those were

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<v Speaker 2>the general responses. So we shall keep it in, of course,

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<v Speaker 2>but we thought it might be.

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<v Speaker 1>Good to actually take turns in it so that we

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<v Speaker 1>cut down on our waffling, because boy, ome boy, can

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<v Speaker 1>we waffle. It's very easy for us to sit down

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<v Speaker 1>and record hours and hours of content, and somehow it

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<v Speaker 1>needs to get cut down, and we must must think

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<v Speaker 1>of our lovely editor, Maddie, who does the most, because

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<v Speaker 1>she really does. So Key, you kick off this new format,

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<v Speaker 1>give us your peek and Pit of the week, and

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<v Speaker 1>in honor of this new season, please make sure that

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<v Speaker 1>the peak is very good and the pit very great.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh it's groom, Let me tell you I had a

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<v Speaker 1>menty bee over the weekend. No A full blown menty bee.

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<v Speaker 1>I have been so tired lately, like exhausted, and I

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<v Speaker 1>just kind of put it down to I haven't been

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<v Speaker 1>really exercising consistently. I'm a mom, so I just kind

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<v Speaker 1>of thought, oh, broken sleep sometimes just generally mental load

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<v Speaker 1>all of that stuff, right, and I just thought, oh,

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<v Speaker 1>get it together, key, like just everyone else seems to

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<v Speaker 1>be getting it together. So I actually did go to

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<v Speaker 1>the doctor and just get some blood work done to

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<v Speaker 1>make sure everything was a okay. And I found out

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<v Speaker 1>that I have an underactive thyroid. That is why I've

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<v Speaker 1>been so exhausted. So I think as soon as I

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<v Speaker 1>got that news, it almost made it worse because I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, Oh, instead of treading water, I kind of

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<v Speaker 1>just let myself drown. I was just like, oh, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to fall into a heat because I have a

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<v Speaker 1>medical condition that's making me feel this way. Yes, that's

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<v Speaker 1>making me feel like I am got weights on my

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<v Speaker 1>ankles and it's so hard to move and cope with anything.

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<v Speaker 1>But it is a medical condition that is pretty easy

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<v Speaker 1>to fix it. Yes, it is medication. So I'm going

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<v Speaker 1>to have some blood work done in a few weeks

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<v Speaker 1>just to kind of see where it's at again there

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<v Speaker 1>and then all discuss going on medication and that should

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<v Speaker 1>help it, which should be great.

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<v Speaker 2>It's so interesting because you haven't gained weight, and most

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<v Speaker 2>people with an underactive thyroid, the way that they figure

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<v Speaker 2>it out is because they've gained a lot of weight

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<v Speaker 2>in a short period of time.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I think it's probably because I am gluten and

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<v Speaker 1>torran and a pescotarian, my diet tends to be on

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<v Speaker 1>the healthier side quote unquote healthy. That makes sense. But

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<v Speaker 1>what happened is that this meant to be coincided with

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<v Speaker 1>Rue having her two year sleep regression. And of course,

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<v Speaker 1>of course it did because I'm meet, I'm meet, and

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<v Speaker 1>I just have the words luck in the world. And

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<v Speaker 1>you know, Charlie was really great. He was like, babe,

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<v Speaker 1>just take the weeknd off, I'll sort everything like you

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<v Speaker 1>just do you you catch up on rest, blah blah

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<v Speaker 1>blah blah. But it's really hard when your kid is

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<v Speaker 1>screaming and it screams I have never heard before, or

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<v Speaker 1>like the proper toddler screams proper toddlers, and you tarlet

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<v Speaker 1>you shut all the windows because you're like, don't want

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<v Speaker 1>the nervous to her I am going to call the police.

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<v Speaker 1>I think I'm doing something real bad to my daughter,

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<v Speaker 1>and it's always Mum that she's screaming. So it's just

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<v Speaker 1>really hard to obviously switch off. But on the flip

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<v Speaker 1>side of that, my patience with her was non existent.

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<v Speaker 1>And the reason why it made it a really bad

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<v Speaker 1>pit is because I found myself starting to question if

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<v Speaker 1>I was like my mum basically, and that's what made

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<v Speaker 1>me really upset. Because my mom had zero patient, she

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<v Speaker 1>had the shortest temper, she was very scary to be around,

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<v Speaker 1>and that's always kind of stayed with me. But that's

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<v Speaker 1>what really got me down because I just like, oh

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<v Speaker 1>my god, like I don't have any patience with her

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<v Speaker 1>because I'm just fighting to try and keep it together

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<v Speaker 1>and I just don't like that quality. And so I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I mean, things have been better since Sam, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, I've had my rest, I've kind of caught

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<v Speaker 1>up a little bit on things, and I'm trying to

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<v Speaker 1>embrace the really testing moments, you know, and just work

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<v Speaker 1>with her in those moments instead of pushing against But

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<v Speaker 1>it's really difficult when you're fighting a really learned behavior,

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<v Speaker 1>and I struggle with that a lot, so it really

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<v Speaker 1>got me down. I didn't like who I was in

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<v Speaker 1>that moment, and I felt like embarrassed, and I kept

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<v Speaker 1>asking Charlie like, do you think I'm a bad mom?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you think I'm a bad mom? And He's like, no,

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<v Speaker 1>I just think you're in a bad spot and you

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<v Speaker 1>don't have any confidence right now and your abilities. Like

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<v Speaker 1>you're allowed to have bad days, that's okay, but I

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<v Speaker 1>don't know. I feel like I seem to be having

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<v Speaker 1>a lot of bad days lately, and that makes me sad.

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<v Speaker 2>I also want to acknowledge to anyone listening, but mainly

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<v Speaker 2>to you, that being impatient it isn't just a learned

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<v Speaker 2>behavior that you think that you've learned from your mom.

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<v Speaker 2>It is a very normal human reaction. Yeah, every single

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<v Speaker 2>person feels impatient at times. My grandma used to always

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<v Speaker 2>say patience is a virtue. Patience is a virtue. So

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<v Speaker 2>I know that when you're feeling like that, nothing can

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<v Speaker 2>really make you feel better or like you are a

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<v Speaker 2>good mum. But I do want you to know that

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<v Speaker 2>feeling impatient and I mean, listen, I'm not the barometer

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<v Speaker 2>of health or mental clarity, but I know for sure

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<v Speaker 2>that that is such a normal response to have. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>and they test us like no one else, and they

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<v Speaker 2>know they know what they're doing. You hate it when

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<v Speaker 2>people go, oh, they don't know what Yes, they bloody

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<v Speaker 2>do not all the time. And I'm not saying that

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<v Speaker 2>they still can't help it. Yeah, but they know what

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<v Speaker 2>they're doing and they know where to push.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Charlie. On that weekend, he goes, he had her

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<v Speaker 1>all day and I went out and had lunch with

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<v Speaker 1>a girlfriend and came back and everything, and as soon

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<v Speaker 1>as I got through the door, she was just crazy again.

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<v Speaker 1>He was like, she was finally. She was fine when

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<v Speaker 1>you weren't here, and it's when you're here that she

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<v Speaker 1>this bad behavior comes. And I'm like, but I'm the

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<v Speaker 1>main person who looks That's why why can't she just

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<v Speaker 1>be nice to me? Because she trusts you, yeah so much.

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<v Speaker 2>You are her primary caregiver. You do spend the most

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<v Speaker 2>amount of time with her, so she.

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<v Speaker 1>Feels safe to let her freak flame.

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<v Speaker 2>Whenever people say that to me, I'm like, great, thanks,

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<v Speaker 2>But it's so true. That is where they feel the

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<v Speaker 2>most comfortable to really just unleash every single thought, emotion,

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<v Speaker 2>feeling that they have sometimes when Lenny walks through the door,

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<v Speaker 2>He's been fine all date daycare. Luke picks him up, Fine, fine,

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<v Speaker 2>fine in the car, babbling away, walks through the door.

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<v Speaker 2>I can hear him going, where'smummy, where's mummy? And he

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<v Speaker 2>sees me and then he just loses it. He literally

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<v Speaker 2>drops to the floor and just starts screaming. He lets

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<v Speaker 2>out every single ioda of frustration he's had old.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And for me, I'm like, shut up, Yeah, you

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<v Speaker 1>just got here. I'm excited to see you, and now

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<v Speaker 1>that excitement has gone, Like.

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<v Speaker 2>I was so excited to see you, and now I'm like,

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<v Speaker 2>can you go back to daycare right now?

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<v Speaker 1>Why did they get lovely? Lenny? And I get feelings? Lenny,

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<v Speaker 1>that's a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>But yeah, it's so normal. And you are nothing like

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<v Speaker 2>your mother.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you haven't fucked off overseas. You're already beating her.

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<v Speaker 1>I know we're going overseas, but we're taking her. So

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<v Speaker 1>where are you going? We're going to Europe for our honeymoon. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>is this the peak? Are we moving into the peak? No,

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<v Speaker 1>we haven't even planned it yet. We haven't brought our tickets.

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<v Speaker 1>We've just decided good friend getting married, so we thought

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<v Speaker 1>we'd just do it. It was always a plan, but

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<v Speaker 1>we're meant to do it with that Ruber. Now we're

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<v Speaker 1>going to take her my peak. It's a little bit

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<v Speaker 1>of wholesome. So I have everyone Thursdays and Fridays and

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<v Speaker 1>every Thursday. We've done this a lot, but the consistency

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<v Speaker 1>hasn't been there. So for the last month, every Thursday

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<v Speaker 1>we have been going to rhyme Time at our local

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<v Speaker 1>library and it's this little quaint library, really small. It's

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<v Speaker 1>got a little cafe attached to it, a little grass area.

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<v Speaker 1>We get there in the morning for the class and

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<v Speaker 1>it's kind of coincided with the girls being the age

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<v Speaker 1>that they really enjoy it. So they're starting to sing along,

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<v Speaker 1>clap along, and you go with Beck, go with Beck

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<v Speaker 1>and Goldie and also going out of front Talia, who's

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<v Speaker 1>the biggest shitter in the world. Tarlia shout out tas

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<v Speaker 1>she's got two little girls. Yeah, I know.

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<v Speaker 3>Every time, I'm like, she's the biggest shitter or she

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<v Speaker 3>just loves to be a shitter. And it's just so

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<v Speaker 3>beautiful because it's an enclosed area that you sit in

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<v Speaker 3>afterwards with the gate and the kids can kind of

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<v Speaker 3>run somewhat wild, and you can sit together and have

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<v Speaker 3>like your tea a cake.

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<v Speaker 1>They've got little gluten free cakes that I get every time.

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<v Speaker 1>We can have a conversation, like actually get through a conversation.

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<v Speaker 2>Trapped, not trapped, but they are in close and close

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<v Speaker 2>is the word I was looking for.

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<v Speaker 1>You have to join to go to run time, So

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<v Speaker 1>I've started getting picture books for her each week so

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<v Speaker 1>that she can read them, you know, for the two weeks,

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<v Speaker 1>and then we take them back. So I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's a mixture of just like the regularity

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<v Speaker 1>of it, because we did have swimming, but my swim

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<v Speaker 1>school closed down, so then Thursdays we're kind of just

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<v Speaker 1>like this fucking free for all. I know that those

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<v Speaker 1>places are heated, but too it is cold anyway, so

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<v Speaker 1>this has been great to feel that and they get

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<v Speaker 1>really tired afterwards we go for like a walk around

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<v Speaker 1>the park that's there. But I also just love the

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<v Speaker 1>connection to community and it's like feeling like you're all together.

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<v Speaker 1>We see the same faces each week and they're starting

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<v Speaker 1>to get to know the kids, and I don't know,

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<v Speaker 1>it just feels really wholesome and It's a lovely thing

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<v Speaker 1>to be able to do each week that is free.

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<v Speaker 1>That is so cute, and it also such a good recommendation. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>get amongst it, go to your local library. Join it's

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<v Speaker 1>so good. The people that put it on are so passionate,

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<v Speaker 1>like the librarians, and also the volunteers are so passionate

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<v Speaker 1>about it. They love kids. It's just a really nice

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<v Speaker 1>pocket of like humanity that you can dip into. I

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<v Speaker 1>would be so good as a rhyme time teacher, So

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<v Speaker 1>would I. Beck actually took a video of me last

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<v Speaker 1>week because oh, because you can dance as well. Oh no.

0:11:14.640 --> 0:11:16.040
<v Speaker 1>We were just in the park and the kids were

0:11:16.040 --> 0:11:18.439
<v Speaker 1>fucking wanting to jump on this like the top of

0:11:18.480 --> 0:11:20.079
<v Speaker 1>a drain, and I was just like, why are they

0:11:20.120 --> 0:11:22.640
<v Speaker 1>knowing this? Beck's super pregnant, Tars has got a baby

0:11:22.640 --> 0:11:26.079
<v Speaker 1>strap to her, so I'm like, all right, girls, get information.

0:11:26.280 --> 0:11:35.360
<v Speaker 1>Ring a rosie, She's like kindergarten teacher comes through and

0:11:35.400 --> 0:11:39.120
<v Speaker 1>I'm like, I'm aware, But Monday, neither of us have

0:11:39.280 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 1>the patient of us have we'd be like that ring

0:11:43.120 --> 0:11:46.079
<v Speaker 1>around a rosy shut. But I have patients with other

0:11:46.080 --> 0:11:49.960
<v Speaker 1>people's kids. I don't You don't know I shouted other

0:11:50.000 --> 0:11:53.240
<v Speaker 1>people's kids the time. Sounds like we've gone off on

0:11:53.280 --> 0:11:56.120
<v Speaker 1>a little bit of a tangent. Guys.

0:12:02.600 --> 0:12:05.880
<v Speaker 2>I recently asked a girlfriend who's got a new baby

0:12:06.000 --> 0:12:08.920
<v Speaker 2>how she was going, and she responded that she was great,

0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.360
<v Speaker 2>and she said she shared some cute picks. It was

0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:14.320
<v Speaker 2>in a group chat and started talking about other stuff,

0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:18.680
<v Speaker 2>and then I separately messaged her to say something like, Hey,

0:12:18.960 --> 0:12:20.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm not trying to be annoying. I'm just checking in, Like,

0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:24.400
<v Speaker 2>you know, I'm right here if you need anything, you

0:12:24.440 --> 0:12:27.079
<v Speaker 2>don't need to pretend that everything's fine, like something along

0:12:27.160 --> 0:12:29.640
<v Speaker 2>those lines. And she was like, oh my god, love

0:12:29.679 --> 0:12:31.920
<v Speaker 2>you so much, but I'm totally fine. I'll let you

0:12:32.000 --> 0:12:33.079
<v Speaker 2>know if anything changes.

0:12:33.800 --> 0:12:35.360
<v Speaker 1>And I guess as well. In my mind, I'm like,

0:12:35.400 --> 0:12:37.280
<v Speaker 1>how could you be fine? Yeah?

0:12:37.360 --> 0:12:40.320
<v Speaker 2>How could you be coping with a newborn as a

0:12:40.360 --> 0:12:42.240
<v Speaker 2>new mum and just be fine?

0:12:42.440 --> 0:12:43.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah?

0:12:43.160 --> 0:12:45.800
<v Speaker 2>So obviously, then when she confirmed that she was fine,

0:12:45.800 --> 0:12:48.520
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, okay, that's really good, But also

0:12:48.760 --> 0:12:53.800
<v Speaker 2>just highlighted to me how alone I feel in my

0:12:53.960 --> 0:12:57.640
<v Speaker 2>experience as a new mom with a newborn. So I

0:12:57.679 --> 0:13:00.600
<v Speaker 2>wanted to do an episode for anyone out there who

0:13:00.640 --> 0:13:03.520
<v Speaker 2>has a baby who doesn't stop crying, because maybe then

0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.719
<v Speaker 2>you will feel less alone and know that it's not

0:13:06.800 --> 0:13:09.960
<v Speaker 2>just you. You aren't doing anything wrong, your baby isn't broken.

0:13:10.679 --> 0:13:13.079
<v Speaker 2>You unfortunately, have just been dealt with the shit.

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.560
<v Speaker 1>Stick when it comes to the baby bubble, as smug

0:13:16.640 --> 0:13:19.719
<v Speaker 1>people with nice babies refer to that fourth trimester.

0:13:20.720 --> 0:13:25.480
<v Speaker 2>Oh my goodness. Honestly, when people would say to me like, oh,

0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:30.080
<v Speaker 2>isn't the baby bubble so precious? Oh, soak up every

0:13:30.160 --> 0:13:33.720
<v Speaker 2>minute of that baby bubble, I wanted to smack people

0:13:33.800 --> 0:13:37.559
<v Speaker 2>that said things like that because it makes me very

0:13:37.559 --> 0:13:39.959
<v Speaker 2>anxious when I hear newbornes cry and other people will

0:13:39.960 --> 0:13:41.640
<v Speaker 2>be like, oh my god, you're so good at babies

0:13:41.640 --> 0:13:45.760
<v Speaker 2>because I immediately grab them. But it's actually because I

0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.559
<v Speaker 2>get so anxious that I need that baby to stop crying. Yeah,

0:13:48.600 --> 0:13:51.280
<v Speaker 2>even when it's not my baby. So there was no bubble.

0:13:51.400 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 2>The only bubble was the snot bubble that was coming

0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.319
<v Speaker 2>out of my nose as I cried for the seventeenth

0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:59.320
<v Speaker 2>time that day, thinking what the fuck have I done?

0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:01.840
<v Speaker 1>This is the biggest mistake of my life. Yeah, well,

0:14:01.880 --> 0:14:04.440
<v Speaker 1>it was really traumatic and I am still asking you

0:14:04.480 --> 0:14:06.800
<v Speaker 1>why you've decided to quit therapy. Well I haven't. I've

0:14:06.800 --> 0:14:09.160
<v Speaker 1>just got to find a new therapist. Okay, good good,

0:14:09.200 --> 0:14:11.360
<v Speaker 1>I'm glad, I'm glad. All right.

0:14:11.800 --> 0:14:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Let's first discuss, though, what my baby won't stop crying

0:14:15.240 --> 0:14:18.440
<v Speaker 2>actually looks like. Because, of course, babies cry.

0:14:19.040 --> 0:14:19.560
<v Speaker 1>I knew that.

0:14:19.840 --> 0:14:22.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I know that they could cry a lot. But

0:14:22.120 --> 0:14:26.640
<v Speaker 2>Lenny was on an intense mix of prescription drugs for

0:14:26.720 --> 0:14:29.800
<v Speaker 2>the first week of his life, so he really only

0:14:29.880 --> 0:14:32.600
<v Speaker 2>fussed when he was hungry. Yeah, and then maybe the

0:14:32.640 --> 0:14:35.640
<v Speaker 2>first two weeks were okay in terms of crying. He

0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:38.840
<v Speaker 2>wouldn't really let us put him down. But on reflection,

0:14:38.920 --> 0:14:43.040
<v Speaker 2>then that's perfectly normal as well, because he'd only recently

0:14:43.160 --> 0:14:46.840
<v Speaker 2>been horribly exited from his lovely cozy what this is?

0:14:47.200 --> 0:14:49.200
<v Speaker 2>I remember he would get like a little bit gassy

0:14:49.600 --> 0:14:51.640
<v Speaker 2>here and there, and I did see an insta post

0:14:51.680 --> 0:14:55.120
<v Speaker 2>about colic, but I scoffed at the three through three rule.

0:14:55.200 --> 0:14:56.760
<v Speaker 1>Do you know what the three three rule is?

0:14:57.200 --> 0:15:00.480
<v Speaker 2>So they defined colic as crying for more more than

0:15:00.560 --> 0:15:03.560
<v Speaker 2>three hours per day, for more than three days per week,

0:15:03.640 --> 0:15:06.560
<v Speaker 2>and for longer than three weeks in an infant who

0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:11.200
<v Speaker 2>is otherwise well fed and healthy. And I remember seeing

0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:13.680
<v Speaker 2>that and I'm like, oh my god, as if babies

0:15:13.720 --> 0:15:16.880
<v Speaker 2>can scream for more than three hours a day, I

0:15:17.000 --> 0:15:20.520
<v Speaker 2>just thought that is ludicrous. You'd go mad if your

0:15:20.520 --> 0:15:22.360
<v Speaker 2>baby was screaming for three hours a day.

0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:23.560
<v Speaker 1>Well yeah, and.

0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:27.080
<v Speaker 2>Lol, I bet my future self, who dealt with fourteen

0:15:27.120 --> 0:15:30.640
<v Speaker 2>hours on average per day of unrelenting screams, would gladly

0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:32.120
<v Speaker 2>take those three hours.

0:15:32.400 --> 0:15:35.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, I mean, if we only knew what was in stall.

0:15:35.840 --> 0:15:39.680
<v Speaker 1>I do get really sad every time you talk about

0:15:39.680 --> 0:15:42.120
<v Speaker 1>this because I just didn't realize how about it was.

0:15:42.960 --> 0:15:46.920
<v Speaker 2>Well, I don't think that I talked about it that much,

0:15:47.000 --> 0:15:49.080
<v Speaker 2>or I think I probably made jokes because that's my

0:15:49.160 --> 0:15:50.600
<v Speaker 2>way of coping with things.

0:15:51.760 --> 0:15:57.080
<v Speaker 1>But yeah, it's a very isolating place to be, and

0:15:57.160 --> 0:15:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I think that's what is so triggering for you. When

0:16:00.040 --> 0:16:02.280
<v Speaker 1>people have newborns and they say that they're doing well,

0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:04.240
<v Speaker 1>how come I'm the only one that's been through this

0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:07.680
<v Speaker 1>experience within our social group. Yeah, that's what I really

0:16:07.680 --> 0:16:08.240
<v Speaker 1>struggle with.

0:16:08.320 --> 0:16:12.600
<v Speaker 2>It's not that I want anyone that I love or

0:16:12.640 --> 0:16:15.840
<v Speaker 2>anyone to have my experience. It's just that I want

0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:19.320
<v Speaker 2>to feel less alone, I totally in my own experience,

0:16:19.720 --> 0:16:24.080
<v Speaker 2>or better yet, I wish that that wasn't my experience. Yeah, yeah,

0:16:24.160 --> 0:16:27.800
<v Speaker 2>I wish that I did have a different time. Yeah,

0:16:27.960 --> 0:16:33.680
<v Speaker 2>newborn baby, bubble whatever, Yeah, I get them call it so. Keith, obviously,

0:16:33.720 --> 0:16:36.680
<v Speaker 2>you had through a couple of months three months after

0:16:36.720 --> 0:16:40.640
<v Speaker 2>I had land. So what do you remember about my

0:16:40.720 --> 0:16:42.880
<v Speaker 2>experience while you were still pregnant.

0:16:44.040 --> 0:16:47.480
<v Speaker 1>I remember that you would share on little bits here

0:16:47.560 --> 0:16:50.600
<v Speaker 1>and there on socials, but I don't think you ever

0:16:50.760 --> 0:16:55.160
<v Speaker 1>really opened up until much later about how bad it was.

0:16:55.600 --> 0:16:57.680
<v Speaker 1>The hours that he cried was the thing that shocked

0:16:57.720 --> 0:16:59.960
<v Speaker 1>me the most because I was like, it sounds made up.

0:17:00.600 --> 0:17:03.640
<v Speaker 1>Well yeah, I mean it sounds made up, maybe yeah,

0:17:03.680 --> 0:17:09.480
<v Speaker 1>but it sounds completely unmanageable to me. I loved the

0:17:09.520 --> 0:17:12.920
<v Speaker 1>newborn phase and was nothing like that, and I found

0:17:12.920 --> 0:17:16.200
<v Speaker 1>it it was still hard, and you know, to have

0:17:16.240 --> 0:17:18.160
<v Speaker 1>it been so hard that you hate it that there's

0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:23.359
<v Speaker 1>no respite from it, I just think sounds horrible. And

0:17:23.440 --> 0:17:26.120
<v Speaker 1>when I'm thinking about my mother's group, we all had

0:17:26.119 --> 0:17:28.159
<v Speaker 1>a stage where the kids were like going through colic

0:17:28.480 --> 0:17:30.439
<v Speaker 1>and we got that, like you know, the babies do

0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:33.360
<v Speaker 1>not most, but a lot of babies do. Because it's

0:17:33.359 --> 0:17:38.080
<v Speaker 1>so annoying how under formed babies exit the womb, their

0:17:38.119 --> 0:17:40.359
<v Speaker 1>digestive system hasn't not believe this.

0:17:40.760 --> 0:17:44.639
<v Speaker 2>Meanwhile, animals come out and they're like, go on, run away.

0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:46.280
<v Speaker 2>Ours come out and they're like, we don't know how

0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:47.159
<v Speaker 2>to shit yet.

0:17:47.119 --> 0:17:48.480
<v Speaker 1>Could have done with a few more months, to be

0:17:48.520 --> 0:17:51.160
<v Speaker 1>honest exactly, And we all got that like little concoction

0:17:51.320 --> 0:17:54.359
<v Speaker 1>from the weird like pharmacy thing. It actually did work,

0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:58.080
<v Speaker 1>to be fair. But then I thought about the two

0:17:58.280 --> 0:18:00.000
<v Speaker 1>run ins I had with two of the mother's grew

0:18:00.160 --> 0:18:02.040
<v Speaker 1>girls who only came really to the first one and

0:18:02.080 --> 0:18:05.479
<v Speaker 1>never came back, and we had like selfishly assumed that

0:18:05.480 --> 0:18:07.879
<v Speaker 1>it was because they hated us and we sucked. But

0:18:07.960 --> 0:18:10.960
<v Speaker 1>I remember specifically the first one being like, oh my god,

0:18:11.280 --> 0:18:13.200
<v Speaker 1>I'm so sorry I haven't been back to see girls.

0:18:13.200 --> 0:18:15.199
<v Speaker 1>And this is maybe at the six month mark. She

0:18:15.320 --> 0:18:18.040
<v Speaker 1>was like, I've just been so sick with mastitis, like

0:18:18.080 --> 0:18:20.200
<v Speaker 1>I've had it so many times, I've been in hospital,

0:18:20.480 --> 0:18:22.000
<v Speaker 1>i haven't been able to get out of bed, blah

0:18:22.040 --> 0:18:24.680
<v Speaker 1>blah blah. And then the other one I saw after

0:18:24.800 --> 0:18:28.439
<v Speaker 1>three months and she was like, my baby just didn't sleep,

0:18:28.560 --> 0:18:31.040
<v Speaker 1>didn't stop crying. I had to sleep train my baby

0:18:31.080 --> 0:18:32.840
<v Speaker 1>at three months old, and you're not meant to do

0:18:32.880 --> 0:18:35.440
<v Speaker 1>sleep training till six months. So we're not saying that

0:18:35.440 --> 0:18:37.480
<v Speaker 1>that's the thing to do, but that is what she

0:18:37.640 --> 0:18:39.640
<v Speaker 1>took because she needed to. And I kind of thought

0:18:39.680 --> 0:18:42.199
<v Speaker 1>about it, like the people that drop off from the

0:18:42.240 --> 0:18:44.240
<v Speaker 1>mother's group of the people that are really struggling, the

0:18:44.240 --> 0:18:47.199
<v Speaker 1>people that can continue to come each week are just

0:18:47.240 --> 0:18:52.800
<v Speaker 1>having a somewhat you know, text experience. So I think

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:56.760
<v Speaker 1>that's probably why I didn't have anyone super close to

0:18:56.800 --> 0:19:00.000
<v Speaker 1>me other than you who experienced it at the same

0:19:00.119 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 1>time that I was going through that first stage. When

0:19:03.080 --> 0:19:05.240
<v Speaker 1>did things start to take a turn? Cut Like, how

0:19:05.240 --> 0:19:07.520
<v Speaker 1>old was Lend when things got particularly bad.

0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:10.480
<v Speaker 2>It was either two or three weeks old. I don't

0:19:10.520 --> 0:19:13.960
<v Speaker 2>remember which one exactly, but I remember the night that

0:19:14.040 --> 0:19:18.280
<v Speaker 2>he woke up from the newborn. And a lot of

0:19:18.280 --> 0:19:21.280
<v Speaker 2>babies do this where people get lulled into a false

0:19:21.280 --> 0:19:23.160
<v Speaker 2>sense of security for the first couple of weeks, they're

0:19:23.160 --> 0:19:26.000
<v Speaker 2>still asleep, yeah yeah, and then they wake up and

0:19:26.040 --> 0:19:28.160
<v Speaker 2>this is when the proper pterodactyl began.

0:19:28.240 --> 0:19:29.920
<v Speaker 1>Ohterdacy. Yeah.

0:19:29.960 --> 0:19:31.840
<v Speaker 2>So it was a Friday night. We had had dinner

0:19:32.119 --> 0:19:35.760
<v Speaker 2>and then it just begun out of nowhere, and it

0:19:35.840 --> 0:19:40.640
<v Speaker 2>was the proper pterodactyls screaming, and it went on for hours,

0:19:41.200 --> 0:19:43.600
<v Speaker 2>hours and hours, and nothing would work. And Luke and

0:19:43.640 --> 0:19:46.639
<v Speaker 2>I were just taking it in turns, yeah, because like,

0:19:46.800 --> 0:19:49.640
<v Speaker 2>how do you deal with this infant that you don't

0:19:49.680 --> 0:19:52.679
<v Speaker 2>even know you've just met them screaming at you. So

0:19:52.760 --> 0:19:54.920
<v Speaker 2>we would just passing back and forth every half an hour,

0:19:55.000 --> 0:19:58.080
<v Speaker 2>forty minutes, try whatever we could within that time, and

0:19:58.080 --> 0:19:59.639
<v Speaker 2>then passing back. And the thing is is that you're

0:19:59.680 --> 0:20:01.719
<v Speaker 2>actually not supposed to try too many things, because then

0:20:01.760 --> 0:20:04.080
<v Speaker 2>that can confuse the more, and upset the more, and

0:20:04.119 --> 0:20:08.320
<v Speaker 2>over stimulate the more. But you're also trying every single

0:20:08.320 --> 0:20:11.919
<v Speaker 2>thing under the sun in terms of colic positions. You

0:20:11.960 --> 0:20:14.040
<v Speaker 2>feed them, you burp them, you're changing their n appy,

0:20:14.119 --> 0:20:18.000
<v Speaker 2>you do everything, you take them outside. And from that

0:20:18.200 --> 0:20:24.400
<v Speaker 2>night my life for the next few months, my life

0:20:24.440 --> 0:20:28.400
<v Speaker 2>consisted of doing absolutely everything in my power to stop

0:20:28.520 --> 0:20:32.920
<v Speaker 2>my baby crying. And I have never failed so miserably

0:20:32.960 --> 0:20:36.320
<v Speaker 2>at anything in my life. And I've been fired from jobs.

0:20:37.440 --> 0:20:40.200
<v Speaker 1>You can't get fired from this one, though, but you can't,

0:20:40.400 --> 0:20:42.760
<v Speaker 1>even though when you're doing that bad of a job,

0:20:42.840 --> 0:20:45.600
<v Speaker 1>you really should. But you weren't doing a bad job.

0:20:45.680 --> 0:20:47.919
<v Speaker 1>He has just been a tricky baby.

0:20:48.040 --> 0:20:50.680
<v Speaker 2>Yes, and we will get to that, because I think

0:20:50.720 --> 0:20:54.240
<v Speaker 2>that's so important to acknowledge to anyone that's in that

0:20:54.359 --> 0:20:54.920
<v Speaker 2>at the moment.

0:20:54.960 --> 0:20:56.400
<v Speaker 1>But I didn't know that not the time.

0:20:56.520 --> 0:21:01.120
<v Speaker 2>No, he screamed all day every day unless we were

0:21:01.240 --> 0:21:05.399
<v Speaker 2>walking outdoors. He liked the fresh air, and so a

0:21:05.440 --> 0:21:09.919
<v Speaker 2>couple of weeks postpartum, I was so slim. Yeah, and

0:21:09.960 --> 0:21:12.119
<v Speaker 2>I remember people being like, oh my god, what's your

0:21:12.119 --> 0:21:13.240
<v Speaker 2>secret to losing the baby?

0:21:13.240 --> 0:21:13.400
<v Speaker 1>Wait?

0:21:13.440 --> 0:21:15.760
<v Speaker 2>And I'm like, Oh, just have a baby that never

0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:17.840
<v Speaker 2>stops crying. This is like why you should never comment

0:21:17.880 --> 0:21:20.720
<v Speaker 2>on someone's body unless well, no, you just shouldn't comment.

0:21:20.760 --> 0:21:22.800
<v Speaker 2>But I was like, oh, just have a baby that

0:21:22.840 --> 0:21:24.240
<v Speaker 2>cries all the time. So you have to walk for

0:21:24.320 --> 0:21:26.240
<v Speaker 2>hours and hours and hours a day. Yeah, because that's

0:21:26.240 --> 0:21:28.639
<v Speaker 2>the only time that they're not crying. And then people

0:21:28.640 --> 0:21:30.640
<v Speaker 2>would be like, oh, get the rocket and different things

0:21:30.680 --> 0:21:32.240
<v Speaker 2>for the prem at home. No, No, it had to

0:21:32.280 --> 0:21:35.120
<v Speaker 2>be outdoors. He also knew the difference between pushing and

0:21:35.920 --> 0:21:38.680
<v Speaker 2>a rocker. It had to be outdoors, the fresh air

0:21:39.280 --> 0:21:41.800
<v Speaker 2>and just hours. It didn't always work, but it often did.

0:21:41.880 --> 0:21:44.439
<v Speaker 2>Sometimes we'd go to the shops because that also worked,

0:21:44.880 --> 0:21:50.040
<v Speaker 2>and that here comes the sun plus the mister Rath

0:21:50.080 --> 0:21:51.880
<v Speaker 2>would just be playing on repeat. So when I hear

0:21:51.920 --> 0:21:55.440
<v Speaker 2>that song, I literally just goo. Yeah. I just think

0:21:55.440 --> 0:21:58.399
<v Speaker 2>about hours of walking around listening to those bloody things.

0:22:00.440 --> 0:22:03.040
<v Speaker 2>He wouldn't ever sleep for long, though, and then he'd

0:22:03.040 --> 0:22:04.400
<v Speaker 2>be back away screaming.

0:22:04.440 --> 0:22:07.359
<v Speaker 1>And this was all day, all night. He did feed fine,

0:22:07.520 --> 0:22:08.160
<v Speaker 1>didn't care if.

0:22:08.119 --> 0:22:10.480
<v Speaker 2>It was from the bottle of boob, and he generally

0:22:10.520 --> 0:22:13.240
<v Speaker 2>passed wind solos are good.

0:22:13.040 --> 0:22:17.080
<v Speaker 1>Things, like yeah. Like, So it wasn't that he was yeah.

0:22:17.160 --> 0:22:20.240
<v Speaker 2>It wasn't that he wasn't getting enough food or wasn't

0:22:20.359 --> 0:22:21.919
<v Speaker 2>whooing or something like that.

0:22:22.720 --> 0:22:25.359
<v Speaker 1>But my entire world literally just imploded.

0:22:25.440 --> 0:22:27.240
<v Speaker 2>And as I've talked about, I think it was in

0:22:27.280 --> 0:22:32.040
<v Speaker 2>the mental health episode. I just spent those first months

0:22:32.080 --> 0:22:34.119
<v Speaker 2>just thinking what the fuck have I done? There was

0:22:34.200 --> 0:22:37.480
<v Speaker 2>no newborn bubble. It was a this has been the

0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:39.600
<v Speaker 2>biggest mistake of my life. I can't believe I've done this.

0:22:39.880 --> 0:22:43.120
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, which is a horrible thing to admit, but that's

0:22:43.119 --> 0:22:46.880
<v Speaker 1>how I felt, because this small person just screamed at

0:22:46.920 --> 0:22:49.959
<v Speaker 1>me all the time, and nothing I did ever worked,

0:22:50.320 --> 0:22:53.959
<v Speaker 1>and no one seemed to understand just how bad it was,

0:22:54.359 --> 0:22:57.760
<v Speaker 1>just how defeating it was, just how isolating it was,

0:22:58.520 --> 0:23:03.359
<v Speaker 1>and I was just so frustrated and exhausted. I know

0:23:03.440 --> 0:23:05.640
<v Speaker 1>some people have really difficult babies, but then they sleep

0:23:05.680 --> 0:23:08.320
<v Speaker 1>at night, which is still so hard, don't get me wrong,

0:23:08.359 --> 0:23:10.040
<v Speaker 1>still so hard. I remember Rue went through a stage

0:23:10.040 --> 0:23:12.160
<v Speaker 1>where she wouldn't sleep all during the day. Yeah, be like, oh,

0:23:12.160 --> 0:23:15.280
<v Speaker 1>but she's sleeping at night, so it's okay, Okay, it's manageable.

0:23:15.680 --> 0:23:18.560
<v Speaker 2>He didn't sleep at night, so I dreaded the sun

0:23:18.600 --> 0:23:22.359
<v Speaker 2>going down because it was kind of like, okay, round two,

0:23:22.480 --> 0:23:24.479
<v Speaker 2>my second shift is going to start. But there's no

0:23:24.520 --> 0:23:27.679
<v Speaker 2>one around anymore. You can't go outside and walk your

0:23:27.680 --> 0:23:30.560
<v Speaker 2>baby around for hours. I've never felt so lonely.

0:23:30.640 --> 0:23:35.640
<v Speaker 1>And there really is no lonelier place than a mum

0:23:36.359 --> 0:23:39.720
<v Speaker 1>at three am, when you're baby screaming, you haven't slept

0:23:39.760 --> 0:23:41.560
<v Speaker 1>for days, you don't know when you'll sleep again.

0:23:41.680 --> 0:23:45.000
<v Speaker 2>And as a first time mum, I remember people would

0:23:45.040 --> 0:23:48.080
<v Speaker 2>say it ends, it gets better. I promise you it

0:23:48.080 --> 0:23:52.960
<v Speaker 2>gets better. I always found that very frustrating because when

0:23:54.440 --> 0:23:57.960
<v Speaker 2>if you're a first time mum, you have no idea

0:23:58.240 --> 0:24:01.200
<v Speaker 2>what to expect, you have no idea what the future holds.

0:24:01.560 --> 0:24:03.960
<v Speaker 2>As a second time mom, if I had another baby,

0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:07.040
<v Speaker 2>even if it was the same experience. I know that rationally,

0:24:07.119 --> 0:24:09.199
<v Speaker 2>I could be like, hell, it ends, it's okay, this

0:24:09.320 --> 0:24:12.720
<v Speaker 2>isn't forever. Yeah, it ends, and also do other things differently.

0:24:12.760 --> 0:24:15.720
<v Speaker 2>But he just screamed all the time. I didn't know

0:24:15.760 --> 0:24:18.280
<v Speaker 2>that this would end. I had no reference point, so

0:24:18.320 --> 0:24:21.200
<v Speaker 2>that wasn't helpful unless someone was like, you know, it

0:24:21.240 --> 0:24:23.600
<v Speaker 2>gets better at three months or whatever. I remember everyone

0:24:23.640 --> 0:24:24.359
<v Speaker 2>said just get through the.

0:24:24.359 --> 0:24:25.119
<v Speaker 1>First six weeks.

0:24:25.640 --> 0:24:27.640
<v Speaker 2>Then other people would be like, get through the first

0:24:27.720 --> 0:24:30.239
<v Speaker 2>twelve weeks, and then it became four months and then

0:24:30.280 --> 0:24:31.240
<v Speaker 2>six months, and I.

0:24:31.200 --> 0:24:32.119
<v Speaker 1>Was like, but when.

0:24:33.320 --> 0:24:37.479
<v Speaker 2>So I just remember being in that dark pit and

0:24:37.640 --> 0:24:41.160
<v Speaker 2>I wanted to leave so bad, Like that was when

0:24:41.160 --> 0:24:45.760
<v Speaker 2>I was in the very dark place. But honestly, this

0:24:45.840 --> 0:24:48.480
<v Speaker 2>sounds so unhinged. It made me very much, so I

0:24:48.560 --> 0:24:51.080
<v Speaker 2>understand how people can get into such bad headspaces.

0:24:52.440 --> 0:24:56.119
<v Speaker 1>I was like, I can't leave him. He's horrible. No

0:24:56.160 --> 0:25:00.600
<v Speaker 1>one else will take him. I remember saying this, yeah.

0:25:00.000 --> 0:25:02.240
<v Speaker 2>Because I was like, I birthed him, I have to

0:25:02.280 --> 0:25:04.760
<v Speaker 2>look after him. No one else will look after this child.

0:25:04.760 --> 0:25:07.240
<v Speaker 2>He's awful. Yeah, he screams all the time.

0:25:07.960 --> 0:25:10.240
<v Speaker 1>Well, it's a sleep deprivation that really gets you, right,

0:25:10.320 --> 0:25:13.760
<v Speaker 1>because you just don't have any time to actually rationalize

0:25:13.800 --> 0:25:16.199
<v Speaker 1>things well, yeah, and have a clear head. Yeah. I

0:25:16.240 --> 0:25:18.719
<v Speaker 1>cannot believe with the amount of sleep deprivation that some

0:25:18.840 --> 0:25:21.280
<v Speaker 1>new mums have, that they're allowed to take care of

0:25:21.280 --> 0:25:22.560
<v Speaker 1>a baby. Do you know what I mean? Like, they

0:25:22.560 --> 0:25:24.520
<v Speaker 1>shouldn't be allowed to drive, let alone take care of

0:25:24.520 --> 0:25:28.280
<v Speaker 1>a baby. Back, let alone work, let alone work, because

0:25:28.320 --> 0:25:30.840
<v Speaker 1>you threw that one into the little mixtue choos. Yep,

0:25:31.680 --> 0:25:33.280
<v Speaker 1>mine was going for a bloody record.

0:25:33.520 --> 0:25:37.880
<v Speaker 2>All of my memories from that time are blurry, and

0:25:38.000 --> 0:25:40.520
<v Speaker 2>all of the flashbacks make me very scared to even

0:25:40.640 --> 0:25:43.480
<v Speaker 2>consider doing it again. People say, oh, we just laid

0:25:43.480 --> 0:25:45.160
<v Speaker 2>in bed for a while and looked at each other

0:25:45.320 --> 0:25:47.480
<v Speaker 2>and he cooed at me or she cooed at me

0:25:47.560 --> 0:25:50.840
<v Speaker 2>or whatever, and I'm like, I didn't have that. He

0:25:51.000 --> 0:25:55.119
<v Speaker 2>was always screaming, yeah, or sleeping, but even in sleep

0:25:55.160 --> 0:25:59.240
<v Speaker 2>he had a scowl on his face because he was miserable.

0:25:59.400 --> 0:26:01.600
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. I wanted to take you through a list of

0:26:01.640 --> 0:26:04.360
<v Speaker 1>all of the things that I tried over those okays, Yeah,

0:26:04.520 --> 0:26:08.000
<v Speaker 1>to no success obviously, Yes, Okay, I'm still screamed, got it.

0:26:08.080 --> 0:26:09.600
<v Speaker 1>I had a midwife.

0:26:09.600 --> 0:26:11.919
<v Speaker 2>She was kind of like a mental health midwife but

0:26:12.040 --> 0:26:14.040
<v Speaker 2>also there to support the baby, and she would come

0:26:14.080 --> 0:26:17.320
<v Speaker 2>once a fortnight and she was so lovely.

0:26:17.720 --> 0:26:19.480
<v Speaker 1>I really liked her, But.

0:26:21.200 --> 0:26:23.760
<v Speaker 2>I think that sometimes when you're getting these house visits

0:26:23.760 --> 0:26:27.480
<v Speaker 2>from people, they're there for an hour and they don't

0:26:27.560 --> 0:26:30.399
<v Speaker 2>really get it. Like she sort of was trying to

0:26:30.400 --> 0:26:33.639
<v Speaker 2>teach me about sleep cycles and how as he's coming

0:26:33.920 --> 0:26:36.520
<v Speaker 2>out of the deep sleep you really need to and

0:26:36.560 --> 0:26:38.440
<v Speaker 2>she was showing me these things to try to tide

0:26:38.480 --> 0:26:40.320
<v Speaker 2>him over into the next sleep cycle so he didn't

0:26:40.359 --> 0:26:42.480
<v Speaker 2>startle himself awake and then scream. But I was like,

0:26:43.040 --> 0:26:45.760
<v Speaker 2>wasn't actually helpful even though she was trying so hard.

0:26:45.880 --> 0:26:48.840
<v Speaker 2>But I was like, the problem is not that I

0:26:48.880 --> 0:26:50.399
<v Speaker 2>don't know what a sleep cycle is. I mean, of

0:26:50.400 --> 0:26:52.000
<v Speaker 2>course I didn't. I appreciated the help, but.

0:26:53.000 --> 0:26:54.440
<v Speaker 1>He wasn't even getting to that point.

0:26:54.560 --> 0:26:58.840
<v Speaker 2>No, no, So I was on every single forum. I

0:26:58.920 --> 0:27:01.760
<v Speaker 2>followed every single baby sooth on TikTok. The amount of

0:27:01.800 --> 0:27:04.680
<v Speaker 2>videos that I have saved of like try this technique

0:27:04.680 --> 0:27:07.400
<v Speaker 2>to get your baby to stop screaming in thirty seconds,

0:27:07.760 --> 0:27:11.440
<v Speaker 2>I can probably get ninety percent of babies to stop screaming. Yeah,

0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:14.880
<v Speaker 2>you're so good, Like I have got the touch because

0:27:14.880 --> 0:27:17.640
<v Speaker 2>I have so many tricks up my sleeve from all

0:27:17.680 --> 0:27:20.639
<v Speaker 2>of this research that I did. Yeah, couldn't get my

0:27:20.680 --> 0:27:24.240
<v Speaker 2>own baby to stop screaming though I tried the Wilby's

0:27:24.240 --> 0:27:24.680
<v Speaker 2>collic form.

0:27:24.680 --> 0:27:27.200
<v Speaker 1>Now that's what I was talking about before. That will

0:27:27.200 --> 0:27:29.199
<v Speaker 1>be stuff. When I was like that concoction that you

0:27:29.240 --> 0:27:32.320
<v Speaker 1>get from the pharmacists that you know that like weird chemists.

0:27:32.400 --> 0:27:34.440
<v Speaker 1>You've got to go to a compntoun chemist. That's what

0:27:34.520 --> 0:27:37.760
<v Speaker 1>I meant, the weird one. Yeah, not your regular one.

0:27:37.840 --> 0:27:40.679
<v Speaker 1>Some people find it's so good but it works, and

0:27:40.840 --> 0:27:43.440
<v Speaker 1>Charlie and I were just like some fucking magic, like what.

0:27:43.480 --> 0:27:45.240
<v Speaker 2>Is Oh, who knows what's in it? It didn't work

0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:47.280
<v Speaker 2>for me, but of course yeah, but I still kept

0:27:47.280 --> 0:27:47.679
<v Speaker 2>buying it.

0:27:47.720 --> 0:27:48.760
<v Speaker 1>And it's so expensive.

0:27:48.760 --> 0:27:51.679
<v Speaker 2>It's like thirty bucks a week plus shipping just for

0:27:51.760 --> 0:27:53.040
<v Speaker 2>this stupid little bottle.

0:27:53.080 --> 0:27:55.840
<v Speaker 1>But if it works, you don't care. Yeah.

0:27:55.880 --> 0:27:57.919
<v Speaker 2>A really good piece of advice that someone gave me

0:27:58.320 --> 0:28:00.919
<v Speaker 2>was throw money at the problem because now it's not

0:28:00.960 --> 0:28:02.240
<v Speaker 2>the time to worry about money.

0:28:02.320 --> 0:28:03.560
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you're surviving, you're trying.

0:28:04.680 --> 0:28:06.320
<v Speaker 2>Is so good, so it's not like going to debt

0:28:06.400 --> 0:28:07.760
<v Speaker 2>or anything. But it's like if you've got money to

0:28:07.760 --> 0:28:10.760
<v Speaker 2>spend on something, throw the money at the problem.

0:28:11.200 --> 0:28:14.480
<v Speaker 1>I tried the doctor golly winding method. I've never heard

0:28:14.480 --> 0:28:14.639
<v Speaker 1>of this.

0:28:14.800 --> 0:28:17.080
<v Speaker 2>Okay, well let me tell you I can burp a

0:28:17.160 --> 0:28:20.440
<v Speaker 2>child unlike no one else. I did so many other

0:28:20.520 --> 0:28:27.760
<v Speaker 2>short courses and courses in sleep reflux colic. We had

0:28:27.840 --> 0:28:33.120
<v Speaker 2>the Happy Baby Song, Half the Magic Dragon, and here

0:28:33.160 --> 0:28:34.720
<v Speaker 2>Comes the Sun Gray repeat.

0:28:34.800 --> 0:28:35.760
<v Speaker 1>Yeah. Those are good songs.

0:28:35.960 --> 0:28:38.800
<v Speaker 2>There's science behind them that they work on a baby's

0:28:39.080 --> 0:28:40.200
<v Speaker 2>but very painful to.

0:28:40.120 --> 0:28:42.160
<v Speaker 1>Listen to over and over again. They're social. One came

0:28:42.200 --> 0:28:44.640
<v Speaker 1>on the other day and I was like, oh, yet

0:28:44.720 --> 0:28:47.440
<v Speaker 1>it off, Get it off. He had a chiropractor and

0:28:47.520 --> 0:28:51.880
<v Speaker 1>a kinesiologist. Gorse Burb from the non woo Woo Kelly,

0:28:52.040 --> 0:28:53.040
<v Speaker 1>Non woo Woo Kelly.

0:28:53.320 --> 0:28:57.600
<v Speaker 2>When you are a parent struggling, you will try anything.

0:28:57.640 --> 0:29:00.000
<v Speaker 2>You will woo woo, you will woo woo, you will

0:29:00.080 --> 0:29:02.160
<v Speaker 2>woo woo the fuck out of your anti woo woop.

0:29:02.800 --> 0:29:06.400
<v Speaker 2>So I would take him to his chiropractic kinesiologist. And

0:29:06.520 --> 0:29:08.200
<v Speaker 2>I'm not kidding when I tell you that there are

0:29:08.240 --> 0:29:18.760
<v Speaker 2>crystals waving involved crystals, crystals to stop your baby screaming, Kelly,

0:29:18.880 --> 0:29:21.000
<v Speaker 2>using crystals to stop her baby from screaming.

0:29:21.080 --> 0:29:23.040
<v Speaker 1>It's like something that would never.

0:29:23.280 --> 0:29:26.760
<v Speaker 2>Ever happen, and me like looking over my baby being realigned. Also,

0:29:26.880 --> 0:29:28.800
<v Speaker 2>just anyone that's playing along at home. Can I say

0:29:28.800 --> 0:29:32.760
<v Speaker 2>a chipractor on a baby? It's not cracking, cracking God, No,

0:29:32.880 --> 0:29:36.320
<v Speaker 2>It's actually very gentle and very effective. For some people.

0:29:36.840 --> 0:29:40.760
<v Speaker 2>It can really help because babies can get you know,

0:29:40.920 --> 0:29:44.800
<v Speaker 2>stuck or misaligned as they are exiting the womb or

0:29:45.000 --> 0:29:48.719
<v Speaker 2>in whatever fashion they come. I have heard stories about chiropractice.

0:29:48.200 --> 0:29:49.960
<v Speaker 1>Doing God's work for newborns.

0:29:50.240 --> 0:29:52.600
<v Speaker 2>Right while I was still breastfeeding, I cut out night

0:29:52.640 --> 0:29:53.320
<v Speaker 2>shade fruits.

0:29:54.400 --> 0:29:57.040
<v Speaker 1>What is a night shade food? Yeah? What is it?

0:29:57.080 --> 0:30:00.520
<v Speaker 1>As a vegetarian, it's like all of my favorite no

0:30:00.680 --> 0:30:02.480
<v Speaker 1>saw what is like eggplant would be a night shade?

0:30:02.480 --> 0:30:03.240
<v Speaker 1>I'm pretty sure.

0:30:03.080 --> 0:30:07.560
<v Speaker 2>Egg plant, sweet potato, potato, corn like capsicum.

0:30:07.800 --> 0:30:09.360
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, there's not much left as the what am I

0:30:09.400 --> 0:30:12.320
<v Speaker 1>supposed to be? If I can't eat Mexican? Because I

0:30:12.320 --> 0:30:14.680
<v Speaker 1>also had to cut out dairy, like all of these

0:30:14.680 --> 0:30:15.560
<v Speaker 1>things that I cut out.

0:30:15.880 --> 0:30:19.520
<v Speaker 2>He had an occupational therapist. She diagnosed him with reflux

0:30:19.560 --> 0:30:21.440
<v Speaker 2>and a tongue tie. So we did zoom calls where

0:30:21.440 --> 0:30:23.560
<v Speaker 2>she would take me through different exercises. So we do

0:30:23.680 --> 0:30:27.760
<v Speaker 2>like all these different exercises with the baby Tatrot's help

0:30:27.840 --> 0:30:31.880
<v Speaker 2>and sane, oh insane, plus working full time, remember, and

0:30:32.000 --> 0:30:36.960
<v Speaker 2>not sleeping, Kelly, I had four different types of baby carriers. Yeah,

0:30:37.200 --> 0:30:41.200
<v Speaker 2>and then the GP prescribed just the standard reflux medication.

0:30:41.360 --> 0:30:43.040
<v Speaker 1>I'm not going to say any drug name, but.

0:30:43.000 --> 0:30:46.440
<v Speaker 2>It's the one that you get if your child has reflux.

0:30:47.000 --> 0:30:49.440
<v Speaker 2>They start off on a pretty conservative dose and they

0:30:49.480 --> 0:30:52.360
<v Speaker 2>go up. Still wasn't doing anything, and at that point

0:30:52.720 --> 0:30:56.040
<v Speaker 2>I took him to a pediatrician who diagnosed him with

0:30:56.640 --> 0:30:59.959
<v Speaker 2>the worst god he'd seen in his career and severe

0:31:00.320 --> 0:31:04.440
<v Speaker 2>cow's milk and protein allergy. So what's good gastrod disease.

0:31:04.520 --> 0:31:06.520
<v Speaker 2>It's like the worst form of reflex you can get.

0:31:06.640 --> 0:31:07.400
<v Speaker 1>Oh my god.

0:31:07.600 --> 0:31:11.880
<v Speaker 2>So it's like then he ended up on what Charlie

0:31:11.960 --> 0:31:14.760
<v Speaker 2>or Luke would be on in terms of medication, the

0:31:14.840 --> 0:31:17.880
<v Speaker 2>dosage that's how I was free three times a day

0:31:18.160 --> 0:31:21.240
<v Speaker 2>and prescription formula which actually works out so much cheaper.

0:31:21.640 --> 0:31:22.200
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:31:22.440 --> 0:31:25.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh, such a win rue positive and it doesn't have

0:31:25.360 --> 0:31:26.880
<v Speaker 2>all of the mean messaging on it either.

0:31:27.040 --> 0:31:27.360
<v Speaker 1>No.

0:31:27.360 --> 0:31:30.760
<v Speaker 2>No, after that, he still wasn't a great sleeper, but

0:31:30.840 --> 0:31:34.200
<v Speaker 2>he screamed less and started hitting more of his milestees.

0:31:34.440 --> 0:31:38.400
<v Speaker 2>So if you're listening to this and you have tears

0:31:38.480 --> 0:31:42.360
<v Speaker 2>running down your cheeks because you feel like you're alone

0:31:42.360 --> 0:31:45.560
<v Speaker 2>in this experience and you're not enjoying the newborn bubble

0:31:45.560 --> 0:31:48.280
<v Speaker 2>that everyone tells you to enjoy, and you're questioning what

0:31:48.320 --> 0:31:52.840
<v Speaker 2>the fuck you've done, I promise you that you're not alone.

0:31:53.880 --> 0:31:57.080
<v Speaker 2>People talk about things a lot more than they used to,

0:31:57.600 --> 0:32:00.160
<v Speaker 2>but I still don't hear people talking about baby that

0:32:00.240 --> 0:32:04.320
<v Speaker 2>never stop crying. And I think it's because we feel

0:32:04.440 --> 0:32:08.120
<v Speaker 2>inherent shame. Yeah, because it must be us. It must

0:32:08.200 --> 0:32:10.560
<v Speaker 2>be I'm just a terrible parent. I don't know what

0:32:10.600 --> 0:32:13.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm doing. Who let me have a baby? It's obviously me.

0:32:13.960 --> 0:32:18.240
<v Speaker 2>I'm a horrible mother. Google it all that comes up.

0:32:18.360 --> 0:32:22.479
<v Speaker 2>There's nothing about mums. It's all about oh try these things.

0:32:22.880 --> 0:32:25.320
<v Speaker 2>Oh no, never thought to fucking rock my baby and

0:32:25.360 --> 0:32:26.400
<v Speaker 2>shush at the same time.

0:32:27.400 --> 0:32:30.640
<v Speaker 1>Google. Thanks Google. So the two things that I will

0:32:31.080 --> 0:32:35.880
<v Speaker 1>say is that push and advocate for your baby. You

0:32:35.880 --> 0:32:39.360
<v Speaker 1>will get fobbed off because all babies cry. But trust me,

0:32:39.640 --> 0:32:41.640
<v Speaker 1>not all babies cry all the time. There's a huge

0:32:41.640 --> 0:32:44.840
<v Speaker 1>difference that isn't normal. And the problem is as well,

0:32:44.840 --> 0:32:47.400
<v Speaker 1>babies like to gaslight because they're distracted when they're at

0:32:47.400 --> 0:32:49.320
<v Speaker 1>the GP or the doctors. They often don't behave the

0:32:49.320 --> 0:32:53.120
<v Speaker 1>way that they do it a little angel hush for.

0:32:53.120 --> 0:32:56.640
<v Speaker 2>Your baby, because your baby can't advocate for themselves. And

0:32:57.440 --> 0:32:59.160
<v Speaker 2>it will end. And I know I said that. I

0:32:59.200 --> 0:33:03.720
<v Speaker 2>hated when people said that to me, But it does,

0:33:05.000 --> 0:33:07.800
<v Speaker 2>and you will get to a place where you're like,

0:33:07.880 --> 0:33:09.760
<v Speaker 2>oh my god, you still have a lot of like

0:33:09.840 --> 0:33:11.760
<v Speaker 2>trauma around it or PTSD, I don't know what the

0:33:11.800 --> 0:33:14.040
<v Speaker 2>right word is, but it doesn't.

0:33:14.640 --> 0:33:20.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it gets better. Do you have thoughts, Oh, I

0:33:20.600 --> 0:33:22.080
<v Speaker 1>feel like I could have been a better friend in

0:33:22.200 --> 0:33:24.440
<v Speaker 1>that moment for you. I feel like I didn't talk

0:33:24.480 --> 0:33:27.760
<v Speaker 1>about it because I was so embarrassed, I know, And

0:33:27.800 --> 0:33:29.479
<v Speaker 1>to be fair, like I was the last of my

0:33:29.520 --> 0:33:31.640
<v Speaker 1>girlfriends I've said this before to have kids or one

0:33:31.640 --> 0:33:34.600
<v Speaker 1>of the last, and they all started having kids in

0:33:34.680 --> 0:33:37.720
<v Speaker 1>our late twenties, and it wasn't until I had my

0:33:37.840 --> 0:33:39.600
<v Speaker 1>baby that they really opened up to me about how

0:33:39.640 --> 0:33:41.840
<v Speaker 1>much they struggled, some of them in that newborn phase

0:33:41.880 --> 0:33:45.280
<v Speaker 1>with really difficult babies. And so it is a fact

0:33:45.360 --> 0:33:49.000
<v Speaker 1>of like being in like an echo chamber of bad

0:33:49.080 --> 0:33:52.880
<v Speaker 1>thoughts and convincing yourself that you are not doing a

0:33:52.880 --> 0:33:55.280
<v Speaker 1>good job, you must be something wrong with you, because

0:33:55.880 --> 0:33:58.760
<v Speaker 1>so much of the newborn phase is the mother or

0:33:58.800 --> 0:34:02.520
<v Speaker 1>the primary care who is in that and it's often

0:34:02.560 --> 0:34:05.520
<v Speaker 1>just alone with the baby. So it's shame. But also

0:34:05.560 --> 0:34:08.000
<v Speaker 1>you just don't even have a minute to really, I think,

0:34:08.520 --> 0:34:11.120
<v Speaker 1>realize what's actually happening and how bad it is. Maybe

0:34:11.320 --> 0:34:13.680
<v Speaker 1>like it feels bad, you know it's bad, but not enough.

0:34:13.719 --> 0:34:17.399
<v Speaker 1>You don't realize how bad it is because you don't

0:34:17.440 --> 0:34:19.759
<v Speaker 1>have a point of reference as well, even if you've

0:34:19.760 --> 0:34:23.040
<v Speaker 1>got other friends or family with babies, you're not with

0:34:23.080 --> 0:34:26.080
<v Speaker 1>them all the time, and people go, yeah, bad baby cries. Yeah,

0:34:26.200 --> 0:34:29.480
<v Speaker 1>but like how many hours a day? You know, it's

0:34:29.480 --> 0:34:32.240
<v Speaker 1>a weird thing to ask, because like it wasn't until

0:34:32.239 --> 0:34:33.799
<v Speaker 1>my mum was helping me feel out of form.

0:34:33.960 --> 0:34:35.880
<v Speaker 2>I was like, oh, would you say about nine hours

0:34:35.920 --> 0:34:39.359
<v Speaker 2>per day? She goes, no, it's higher, it's more like

0:34:39.360 --> 0:34:41.960
<v Speaker 2>fourteen because she was spending a lot of time. And

0:34:42.040 --> 0:34:44.560
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, oh shit.

0:34:44.880 --> 0:34:48.080
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, so if you have a baby that never stops

0:34:48.080 --> 0:34:50.879
<v Speaker 1>coming as well, just if you are worried that you're

0:34:50.920 --> 0:34:53.480
<v Speaker 1>a bad mum and it's something you're doing that is

0:34:53.520 --> 0:34:56.680
<v Speaker 1>the biggest indicator that you're not a bad mum, and

0:34:56.760 --> 0:34:59.839
<v Speaker 1>it's not something that you're doing. And I will say

0:35:00.160 --> 0:35:02.560
<v Speaker 1>because I hate it when people say, oh, it's actually

0:35:02.600 --> 0:35:04.440
<v Speaker 1>a blessing. It'll teach you empathy, it'll teach you this,

0:35:04.480 --> 0:35:07.680
<v Speaker 1>blah blah blah. It's really shit luck that you it is,

0:35:07.880 --> 0:35:10.959
<v Speaker 1>got a baby that was a bad baby. People also

0:35:11.000 --> 0:35:13.120
<v Speaker 1>say that, don't call him a bad baby. Don't do this.

0:35:13.320 --> 0:35:16.120
<v Speaker 1>He was a bad baby. Of course it wasn't his fault.

0:35:16.880 --> 0:35:20.520
<v Speaker 1>I like to say, difficult baby. Do you say spirited baby? Spirited?

0:35:20.560 --> 0:35:22.080
<v Speaker 1>You know what I call a spade of spade bad?

0:35:23.680 --> 0:35:26.080
<v Speaker 1>Well you can say that because it's your baby. I

0:35:26.120 --> 0:35:28.600
<v Speaker 1>can't call him a bad baby. He's not mine. True.

0:35:28.680 --> 0:35:31.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't mind, though, tell you what, he's a hilarious toddler.

0:35:32.120 --> 0:35:35.000
<v Speaker 1>Yeah he really is. He's really funny and his little

0:35:35.120 --> 0:35:37.080
<v Speaker 1>fucking smile. Oh my god.

0:35:42.320 --> 0:35:47.400
<v Speaker 2>Anyway, moving on to recommendations, I have two well ones

0:35:47.719 --> 0:35:49.839
<v Speaker 2>for the new parents or any parent at all.

0:35:50.040 --> 0:35:52.680
<v Speaker 1>Every single parent needs noise canceling headphones. I think I've

0:35:52.719 --> 0:35:54.759
<v Speaker 1>said this before. I will not stop shouting it from

0:35:54.800 --> 0:35:58.400
<v Speaker 1>the rooftops. You need noise canceling headphones. I have the

0:35:58.719 --> 0:36:01.799
<v Speaker 1>Bose bas Boss ones. We can link them in the

0:36:01.800 --> 0:36:04.799
<v Speaker 1>show notes. I absolutely smash them. I lie on them,

0:36:04.920 --> 0:36:07.040
<v Speaker 1>I chuck them everywhere. I wear them in the shower.

0:36:07.360 --> 0:36:09.960
<v Speaker 1>They are Incredible'll not with the water on them, but like,

0:36:10.120 --> 0:36:11.560
<v Speaker 1>if I'm not washing my hair, I like to listen

0:36:11.560 --> 0:36:13.120
<v Speaker 1>to things in the shower. Why don't you just have

0:36:13.200 --> 0:36:16.640
<v Speaker 1>put a speaker on. You are so weird because I

0:36:16.680 --> 0:36:19.719
<v Speaker 1>don't know speak as a waterproof No, I don't that

0:36:19.800 --> 0:36:22.560
<v Speaker 1>sound That is so weird, Kelly, No, that is weird

0:36:22.600 --> 0:36:25.120
<v Speaker 1>because I think that they're waterproof. I just said I

0:36:25.160 --> 0:36:27.719
<v Speaker 1>don't put my head under God, you stress me out

0:36:27.760 --> 0:36:28.640
<v Speaker 1>sometimes with the weirder way.

0:36:28.719 --> 0:36:31.840
<v Speaker 2>Even if they're not on, you can turn them on

0:36:32.080 --> 0:36:35.280
<v Speaker 2>so they dull the noise. Yeah, okay, so the screams

0:36:35.280 --> 0:36:38.200
<v Speaker 2>don't hit as hard. I use them even now. Sometimes

0:36:38.280 --> 0:36:39.600
<v Speaker 2>let me walks through the dof He walks through the

0:36:39.640 --> 0:36:43.840
<v Speaker 2>door and has a meltdown. I literally just go, ah,

0:36:44.080 --> 0:36:46.360
<v Speaker 2>headphones on, noise canceling on.

0:36:46.440 --> 0:36:48.400
<v Speaker 1>So it just dulls it all a little bit. So

0:36:48.440 --> 0:36:50.719
<v Speaker 1>I think he thinks that the headphones are potentially part

0:36:50.760 --> 0:36:53.719
<v Speaker 1>of me and late to the party. But just a

0:36:53.760 --> 0:36:56.839
<v Speaker 1>little bit of a light recommendation as well. Colin from

0:36:56.840 --> 0:36:59.359
<v Speaker 1>Accounts if you need a new show, so good on Binge. Yeah,

0:36:59.360 --> 0:37:03.920
<v Speaker 1>it's wonderful. So the unicycle, Yeah yours? How long have

0:37:03.960 --> 0:37:09.360
<v Speaker 1>you been single? A while? I'm late to the party.

0:37:09.840 --> 0:37:13.880
<v Speaker 1>I know it is so funny. Harriet Dyer Patrick Brimmel,

0:37:14.440 --> 0:37:17.400
<v Speaker 1>the two people real life couple. It's loosely based on

0:37:17.440 --> 0:37:20.279
<v Speaker 1>their relationships, say if I didn't know, not completely, like

0:37:20.600 --> 0:37:23.400
<v Speaker 1>just the age gap and things like that, obviously embellished

0:37:23.400 --> 0:37:25.200
<v Speaker 1>to make it really funny and for television. It is

0:37:25.520 --> 0:37:29.279
<v Speaker 1>so funny. I also had a recommendation in there too, Yeah,

0:37:29.400 --> 0:37:32.640
<v Speaker 1>it is kind of coming off what my peak was

0:37:32.640 --> 0:37:35.800
<v Speaker 1>this week. Join your local library. Join the local library,

0:37:35.920 --> 0:37:38.560
<v Speaker 1>take advantage of those free things that they put on,

0:37:38.680 --> 0:37:42.160
<v Speaker 1>take advantage of a safe, quiet space with lots of

0:37:42.200 --> 0:37:45.440
<v Speaker 1>resources to use. Do it. It will be a blessing.

0:37:45.680 --> 0:37:48.479
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, that is such a good recommendation. Also

0:37:48.480 --> 0:37:51.120
<v Speaker 2>helpful given I'm like spend five hundred dollars on headphones.

0:37:51.600 --> 0:37:53.400
<v Speaker 1>Thank you so much for joining us today.

0:37:54.160 --> 0:37:56.239
<v Speaker 2>I hope this podcast has helped if you need it,

0:37:56.360 --> 0:37:58.680
<v Speaker 2>or maybe it just helped you understand someone in your

0:37:58.719 --> 0:38:01.880
<v Speaker 2>life that as a difficult.

0:38:01.840 --> 0:38:05.799
<v Speaker 1>Baby, spirited child, a spirited human. Share the pod on

0:38:05.840 --> 0:38:08.360
<v Speaker 1>your socials. We would love that. Let us know what

0:38:08.400 --> 0:38:09.719
<v Speaker 1>you think and what you want to hear. You can

0:38:09.760 --> 0:38:12.839
<v Speaker 1>tag us at Kyris, at Kelly Underscore mccaren and at

0:38:12.960 --> 0:38:18.000
<v Speaker 1>earssa dot pod. This episode was produced by myself, Kairi Cells,

0:38:18.040 --> 0:38:21.319
<v Speaker 1>and Kelly mccaren, with audio production by Madeline Joanno. See

0:38:21.360 --> 0:38:26.239
<v Speaker 1>you next week. Whoo Why