WEBVTT - Parents Anonymous: Killing Off Santa

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to another Mia podcast.

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<v Speaker 2>Mumma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We

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<v Speaker 2>have recorded this podcast on the Gatagul people of the

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<v Speaker 2>Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past

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<v Speaker 2>and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and

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<v Speaker 2>torres Rate islander cultures.

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<v Speaker 3>Hi, it's Annalise Todd here from this Glorious mess introducing

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<v Speaker 3>Hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across

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<v Speaker 3>the Mumamere network, just for you to escape the chaos

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<v Speaker 3>and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather

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<v Speaker 3>warming up. We've got episodes of little love Stories and Parents'

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<v Speaker 3>Anonymous to share.

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<v Speaker 4>From the beginn to the yang.

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<v Speaker 3>Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You

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<v Speaker 3>share your deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks

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<v Speaker 3>rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points,

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<v Speaker 3>so really you can't lose. If you're looking for something

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<v Speaker 3>else to listen to, Mama Miya is officially presenting one

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<v Speaker 3>hundred hours of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion,

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<v Speaker 3>beauty and more.

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<v Speaker 4>There's a link in the show notes.

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<v Speaker 1>Parents Anonymous.

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<v Speaker 3>Welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Analie's Todd, and I

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<v Speaker 3>really hope that Santa has a plan and is on

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<v Speaker 3>the case, because I sure as Helen not.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mamma

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<v Speaker 1>Maya and the mum of a three year old, and

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<v Speaker 1>I have already threatened to call Santa and it's only November.

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<v Speaker 4>In cancel, I mean cancel Santa.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, yes, good exactly old, but a goodie. Welcome back

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<v Speaker 3>to Parents Anonymous.

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<v Speaker 1>This is a safe space where you get to release

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<v Speaker 1>those secret parenting confessions you've been holding in in the

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<v Speaker 1>name of entertaining us and everyone listening.

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<v Speaker 4>This is Parents Anonymous.

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<v Speaker 3>So what that means is you share your story and

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<v Speaker 3>you get the guilt off your chest, you release, and

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<v Speaker 3>then we give you points based on our very serious

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<v Speaker 3>and scientific grading system. We award the best worst parenting.

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<v Speaker 1>Exactly, so there are no losers. The worse you are,

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<v Speaker 1>the better you are in our eyes. So it's part

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<v Speaker 1>church confessional, part game show, one hundred percent chaos. But

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<v Speaker 1>before we get into that, we always make it a

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<v Speaker 1>trusted space by confessing to something ourselves, just so you

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<v Speaker 1>know what hot messes.

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<v Speaker 3>We are all right, you go first, Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>I feel like to be a bad parent this week.

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<v Speaker 1>I probably had to parent, which I did very little of.

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<v Speaker 3>Welcome to my world, I shared custody world.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, we did the very selfish thing of going away

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<v Speaker 1>for a little kid free holiday for our anniversary. Bloody

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<v Speaker 1>loved it. I loved not having to peel anyone's bananas.

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<v Speaker 1>That's not a euphemism.

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<v Speaker 3>I loved your husband.

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<v Speaker 1>Maybe I did.

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<v Speaker 3>No, I.

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<v Speaker 1>Loved not having to cut up anyone's food, put sunscreen

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<v Speaker 1>on anyone but myself. It was lovely.

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<v Speaker 3>Didn't you put sun's been on your husband's back? Isn't

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<v Speaker 3>that what nufples do?

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<v Speaker 1>Nah, you're on your own, mate, burn I can do

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<v Speaker 1>my own. You deal with that yourself. I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to look after anyone but myself, and that's what I

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<v Speaker 1>did for four days. And it was bloody lovely. We

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<v Speaker 1>missed her like crazy, We talked about her pretty much

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<v Speaker 1>the whole time, but it was lovely.

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<v Speaker 3>Can we just circle back to the banana. It's been

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<v Speaker 3>a while since I've had a three year old. I

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<v Speaker 3>know my youngest is nine, but to three year olds

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<v Speaker 3>not be able to open a banana like the monkeys

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<v Speaker 3>can do.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the end. It's that tricky bit at the end,

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<v Speaker 1>and God forbid it breaks in the process, then we've

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<v Speaker 1>got to open another one. So it's just easier if

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<v Speaker 1>I'm doing it.

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<v Speaker 3>I feel like we need to come back to some resilience.

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<v Speaker 1>To gottle Bit, well, leaving her with her grandparents for

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<v Speaker 1>four days was a little bit of resilience. So she's learning.

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<v Speaker 3>So my confession is more I wouldn't say it's a

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<v Speaker 3>bad parenting, although it's linked. It's just a bad human

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<v Speaker 3>So what did you do? Well, it's more what I

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<v Speaker 3>haven't done. So we are mid November, we can safely

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<v Speaker 3>say roughly a month till Christmas.

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<v Speaker 1>Yep.

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<v Speaker 3>I have not thought, bought or done anything remotely to

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<v Speaker 3>do with gifting and Christmas.

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry, are we meant to have by now?

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<v Speaker 3>You know there's some people that they actually finish it

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<v Speaker 3>by Halloween, that's the thing. They've done all their gifting

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<v Speaker 3>by Halloween.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, that's just not our vibe. So to anyone else

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<v Speaker 1>who hasn't, you're just making them feel better. We're fine.

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<v Speaker 1>This is what Black Friday sales are for. We're just

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<v Speaker 1>being thrifty.

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<v Speaker 4>We are being cozy lives.

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<v Speaker 3>You're right, it is actually targeted and it was a strategy.

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<v Speaker 4>Thank you, Alon you go.

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<v Speaker 3>So this jow doesn't exist without your guilty confession, So

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<v Speaker 3>please leave us a voice note or we actually like

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<v Speaker 3>to read them at ourselves for dramatic effects. We'll be honest,

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<v Speaker 3>and that way you can be fully anonymous and email

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<v Speaker 3>us everyone who sends in your confessions. We just think

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<v Speaker 3>you because, first of what makes us feel better about

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<v Speaker 3>ourselves and our lives. We feel not alone, we feel seen,

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<v Speaker 3>we feel heard, and we also just have a lot

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<v Speaker 3>of fun reaching them apart and picking them apart, dissecting them.

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<v Speaker 4>We're all in it together.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, we're all doing it badly, is what I've learned exactly.

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<v Speaker 1>So spill your dirty secrets, come on, send them to us.

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<v Speaker 4>All the options are in the show notes.

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<v Speaker 1>And on today's show, our mystery confessions are called Santa's Canceled.

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<v Speaker 1>We're aligned on that one. This heavy flow, yes, wrong

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<v Speaker 1>time of month for me to be aligned with you

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<v Speaker 1>on that one, and terrible twos.

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<v Speaker 3>Let's go, let's go.

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<v Speaker 1>You may want to turn this off if you have

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<v Speaker 1>little ears around or put your headphones in. I killed

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<v Speaker 1>off Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth Fairy. In

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<v Speaker 1>one conversation with my daughter as in murdered or well,

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<v Speaker 1>she asked me, are you and Daddy Santa? And I said,

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<v Speaker 1>what do you think?

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<v Speaker 3>Hang on, mate?

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<v Speaker 1>How old?

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<v Speaker 4>Doesn't say how old? The child doesn't say.

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<v Speaker 1>I like the I know I want to know the age,

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<v Speaker 1>but I'm guessing we're probably talking six or seven.

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<v Speaker 4>Yes, seven.

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<v Speaker 1>So she asked me are you and Daddy Santa? And

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<v Speaker 1>I said, what do you think? And she said yes,

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<v Speaker 1>so I nodded slowly. She then looked thoughtful and asked

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<v Speaker 1>Easter Bunny. I'd already fessed up and didn't want to

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<v Speaker 1>lie to her, so I nodded slowly again. Tooth Fairy.

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<v Speaker 1>She started to look a bit upset by this point,

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<v Speaker 1>but in for a penny, in for a pound, so

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<v Speaker 1>I nodded slowly again. She was pretty upset for a

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<v Speaker 1>day or so, but boom sorted in one go, She's

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<v Speaker 1>killed off every fictitious person that her child believed in.

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<v Speaker 3>This is just really effective parenting, because, first of all,

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<v Speaker 3>you know how I love honesty.

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<v Speaker 1>I was about to say, this is you to a tea.

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<v Speaker 1>You will never lie to those.

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<v Speaker 3>Kids then ticity tick. Yeah, you've also saved yourself a

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<v Speaker 3>lot of time yep, you know, laying out of the

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<v Speaker 3>cookies and the milk, and the spreading crumbs everywhere, and

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<v Speaker 3>the taking a bite of a gross carrot.

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<v Speaker 1>That's the worst.

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<v Speaker 3>So you've saved a lot of you know, admin in theater.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, and also money for the teeth.

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<v Speaker 1>I was about to say the Tooth Fair is actually

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<v Speaker 1>the best one to kill off early because no money.

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<v Speaker 3>Needed expensive, Yeah, because I think they lose about fourteen teeth.

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<v Speaker 1>I think my brother played along with the tooth Fairy Delius.

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<v Speaker 4>Too long in the two.

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<v Speaker 1>Too long in the two, that is for sure, because

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<v Speaker 1>he's tactical and he wanted to keep getting the money.

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<v Speaker 1>It is devastating when you find that out. I remember

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<v Speaker 1>that I wasn't as smart as your child. I feel

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<v Speaker 1>like this child's quite smart to put them all together,

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<v Speaker 1>all the different ones from throughout the year. So I mean,

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<v Speaker 1>you've got a smart kid on your hands. Points for that.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah. My youngest from five just went yeah, right, this

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<v Speaker 3>is a sham m cynical and clever.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 3>And you know, I think that this is just also

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<v Speaker 3>resilience training, which I always really go on a. I'm

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<v Speaker 3>all for resilience, training, cruel to be kind, yes, and authenticity.

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<v Speaker 4>I feel like this was a parenting win.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

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<v Speaker 1>I think that this is a good thing because I

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<v Speaker 1>always get annoyed that Santa gets the credit for the

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<v Speaker 1>best presence like that annoys me that the character energy.

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<v Speaker 1>I want to be the main character. I want to

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<v Speaker 1>be the one that gets thanked for giving her presence.

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<v Speaker 1>So I actually think it's kind of genius.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, I'm confusing and confused myself because this is good parenting, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>from my perspective. So I'm going to just sort of

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<v Speaker 3>go middle of the line and just give it sort

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<v Speaker 3>of seven stockings out of ten.

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<v Speaker 1>So it was so good that you've deducted points, is

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<v Speaker 1>what you're saying.

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<v Speaker 3>Correct, it's actually good parenting, in my opinion, parenting, So

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<v Speaker 3>you get points off for me.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, okay, Well, given you got rid of the tooth

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<v Speaker 1>fairy as well one foul swoop, I think I will

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<v Speaker 1>give you six coins out of ten. That's pretty harmless.

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<v Speaker 1>Well done to you, good parent.

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<v Speaker 2>All right.

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<v Speaker 4>Confession number two heavy flow. I ran out of nappies

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<v Speaker 4>for my thirteen month old son.

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<v Speaker 3>I had a full day of errands, including going to

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<v Speaker 3>the shop to buy more nappies. So, in a moment

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<v Speaker 3>of desperation, I used a Maxi Pad as his nappy.

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<v Speaker 3>I totally forgot i'd done that, and then dropped my

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<v Speaker 3>son at a friend's house to babysit just a few

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<v Speaker 3>hours so I could finish the errands. When I came

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<v Speaker 3>back to pick him up, she was smirking at me

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<v Speaker 3>and said so when I went to change him. I

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<v Speaker 3>cut her off and said, yep, my worst or proudest

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<v Speaker 3>parenting moment yet. So she used a pad instead of

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<v Speaker 3>a nappy. It's just basic mcguiver.

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<v Speaker 1>I had us desperate times, calls for desperate measures.

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<v Speaker 3>Yes, and you yourself, Stacy, have confessed on this very

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<v Speaker 3>show that you once used a nappy to weep into

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<v Speaker 3>I did, and by that point the damn was about

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<v Speaker 3>to burn. I had to pull out two of my

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<v Speaker 3>daughter's nappies and just release right there in the car.

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<v Speaker 1>I did so look I was toastpart them. My bladder

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<v Speaker 1>was not at its strongest, still isn't to this very day,

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<v Speaker 1>never will be again, never will be again. Ruined for life.

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<v Speaker 1>This is why you and I cross our legs every

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<v Speaker 1>time we laugh at one another, and I just had

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<v Speaker 1>to do what I had to do. It was either

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<v Speaker 1>that or we in my car. So sometimes these things happen.

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<v Speaker 1>And I think motherhood is one of those times. When

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<v Speaker 1>you have a baby you realize how low you'll go.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes you think that could never be me ye, and

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<v Speaker 1>then it is. You let your kid eat a dog biscuit,

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<v Speaker 1>You child nappy.

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<v Speaker 4>That's fine, it's basic survival skins.

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<v Speaker 1>You don't wash your hair for three weeks straight like

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<v Speaker 1>you really do, drop the.

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<v Speaker 3>Stairs dry shampoo. There's a soul for everything. Yeah, throwing

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<v Speaker 3>up here.

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<v Speaker 1>Look, I think that this is great, and I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's great that you use maxi pads because if you're

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<v Speaker 1>a tampon girly, you would have been up the river.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh oh, she wouldn't have been able to use them.

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<v Speaker 1>I was, so she wouldn't have been able to use it,

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<v Speaker 1>so she would have had nothing. So I think that

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<v Speaker 1>this is really clever.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, it's actually not bad parenting at all. So by

0:11:42.930 --> 0:11:45.370
<v Speaker 3>that measure, I have to take points off because it's

0:11:45.370 --> 0:11:46.970
<v Speaker 3>just bare grills. It's survivors.

0:11:47.450 --> 0:11:51.010
<v Speaker 1>For the embarrassment that a friend discovered this without any context,

0:11:51.050 --> 0:11:54.010
<v Speaker 1>that's quite funny. Yeah, and that's quite embarrassing.

0:11:53.650 --> 0:11:55.530
<v Speaker 4>Especially if they weren't a good friend.

0:11:56.050 --> 0:11:58.530
<v Speaker 1>Yeah yeah, I mean you're probably not leaving a baby

0:11:58.570 --> 0:12:00.570
<v Speaker 1>with an acquaintance, so you could.

0:12:01.170 --> 0:12:03.970
<v Speaker 3>People leave them with strange babysitters all the time. I

0:12:04.090 --> 0:12:07.130
<v Speaker 3>don't assume their closeness after their child.

0:12:07.730 --> 0:12:08.650
<v Speaker 4>So what are you scoring.

0:12:08.930 --> 0:12:11.610
<v Speaker 1>I can feel the embarrassment in my bones of having

0:12:11.610 --> 0:12:14.810
<v Speaker 1>to try and justify to a friend why my child

0:12:15.490 --> 0:12:20.010
<v Speaker 1>had that instead of an happy So I'm giving you

0:12:20.410 --> 0:12:22.210
<v Speaker 1>a and a half maxipads out of ten.

0:12:22.410 --> 0:12:24.770
<v Speaker 3>I'm going to give you eight ten out of ten.

0:12:26.770 --> 0:12:31.930
<v Speaker 1>Don't don't.

0:12:33.290 --> 0:12:33.890
<v Speaker 4>Bring it home.

0:12:35.490 --> 0:12:41.730
<v Speaker 1>Last confession. So, after having twins, life was chaos with

0:12:41.850 --> 0:12:45.090
<v Speaker 1>two older kids and now a very busy house of

0:12:45.130 --> 0:12:46.930
<v Speaker 1>six oh thoughts and prayers.

0:12:47.210 --> 0:12:47.490
<v Speaker 3>God.

0:12:48.290 --> 0:12:50.570
<v Speaker 1>When the twins were about eighteen months, we had a

0:12:50.610 --> 0:12:52.970
<v Speaker 1>moment of we've got this and decided to go on

0:12:53.010 --> 0:12:57.210
<v Speaker 1>our first family trip to the beach. We gathered, we organized,

0:12:57.290 --> 0:13:00.210
<v Speaker 1>we slapped on sunscreen, and packed everyone into the van

0:13:00.570 --> 0:13:03.930
<v Speaker 1>and off to the beach we went. Almost immediately, one

0:13:04.010 --> 0:13:06.810
<v Speaker 1>twin kept trying to throw himself into the surf with

0:13:06.850 --> 0:13:10.810
<v Speaker 1>the determination of a nineteenth century tortured poet, trying to

0:13:10.970 --> 0:13:13.970
<v Speaker 1>end it all. The other twin then had a pooh

0:13:14.010 --> 0:13:16.850
<v Speaker 1>explosion that went all up his back and was dripping

0:13:16.890 --> 0:13:20.170
<v Speaker 1>out onto the sand, all whilst our middle child had

0:13:20.170 --> 0:13:23.530
<v Speaker 1>a massive tantrum. Our eldest wandered away where we couldn't

0:13:23.570 --> 0:13:25.890
<v Speaker 1>see him, so Dad went hunting in a panic with

0:13:26.010 --> 0:13:29.170
<v Speaker 1>soggy twin number one under his arm. We gathered everyone up,

0:13:29.410 --> 0:13:31.810
<v Speaker 1>slunk back to the car and set off home a

0:13:31.810 --> 0:13:34.330
<v Speaker 1>whole fifteen minutes after arriving.

0:13:34.690 --> 0:13:37.170
<v Speaker 3>I think this was sent in by one of my friends.

0:13:38.370 --> 0:13:42.170
<v Speaker 3>I think I know this. Yeah, I do, I really do.

0:13:42.650 --> 0:13:45.450
<v Speaker 1>And it's not so anonymous after all, no.

0:13:45.330 --> 0:13:47.370
<v Speaker 3>Because if it is the same person. I remember when

0:13:47.370 --> 0:13:49.970
<v Speaker 3>I went to the park with my youngest and the

0:13:50.010 --> 0:13:52.170
<v Speaker 3>same age as her twins, and I was like, why

0:13:52.250 --> 0:13:54.450
<v Speaker 3>is the park so hard? And then I literally saw

0:13:54.530 --> 0:13:58.010
<v Speaker 3>her and her husband had to dart after a twin

0:13:58.130 --> 0:14:00.130
<v Speaker 3>each for a full hour, and I thought, no, one

0:14:00.170 --> 0:14:01.370
<v Speaker 3>know why you don't leave the house?

0:14:01.450 --> 0:14:04.850
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, oh my gosh, And bless them. They were so

0:14:05.010 --> 0:14:07.650
<v Speaker 1>full of hope. They thought they'd gotten to the point

0:14:07.690 --> 0:14:09.850
<v Speaker 1>where they could do it and have a nice family

0:14:09.930 --> 0:14:10.730
<v Speaker 1>outing together.

0:14:10.930 --> 0:14:12.610
<v Speaker 3>And also, a year and a half is a long

0:14:12.690 --> 0:14:15.010
<v Speaker 3>time to not go to the beach. Yeah, I would

0:14:15.050 --> 0:14:15.850
<v Speaker 3>struggle with that.

0:14:16.130 --> 0:14:18.090
<v Speaker 1>I know you love the beach. I love the beach,

0:14:18.130 --> 0:14:20.570
<v Speaker 1>But the beach with a kid is not as much fun.

0:14:20.890 --> 0:14:23.730
<v Speaker 1>No sand in places it should not be, they try

0:14:23.770 --> 0:14:28.330
<v Speaker 1>to eat it. It somehow gets everywhere. It's always a nightmare.

0:14:28.370 --> 0:14:31.610
<v Speaker 3>Even with tween age children, it's not as fun because

0:14:31.850 --> 0:14:34.170
<v Speaker 3>well because they take risks and you've got to watch

0:14:34.170 --> 0:14:36.370
<v Speaker 3>them the whole time still to make sure they don't drown.

0:14:36.690 --> 0:14:38.530
<v Speaker 3>So going to the beach on your own is definitely

0:14:38.770 --> 0:14:39.650
<v Speaker 3>a wind preferred.

0:14:39.850 --> 0:14:41.290
<v Speaker 4>Yes, yeah, recommended.

0:14:41.490 --> 0:14:44.050
<v Speaker 1>Good on you for trying it. At least now, if

0:14:44.090 --> 0:14:46.290
<v Speaker 1>it goes any better than fifteen minutes, you'll be really

0:14:46.330 --> 0:14:49.650
<v Speaker 1>impressed with yourself. But that is grim. That is grim.

0:14:49.650 --> 0:14:51.970
<v Speaker 1>The pooor explosion is probably the low point. I think

0:14:52.010 --> 0:14:52.930
<v Speaker 1>we can all again.

0:14:52.690 --> 0:14:55.810
<v Speaker 3>Imagine all the packing that would have gone into like

0:14:55.850 --> 0:14:57.850
<v Speaker 3>a day out with that many children. Can I take

0:14:57.970 --> 0:15:01.330
<v Speaker 3>one kid, I look like a moving house, like I

0:15:01.370 --> 0:15:04.690
<v Speaker 3>will have my full boot packed with options.

0:15:04.810 --> 0:15:09.170
<v Speaker 4>That's insufferable. You don't need that many things.

0:15:09.210 --> 0:15:11.330
<v Speaker 1>Just don't know. You have no idea how much my

0:15:11.370 --> 0:15:13.970
<v Speaker 1>little girl eats. You just need to be planned for

0:15:14.010 --> 0:15:16.770
<v Speaker 1>all occasions. So I can imagine what a big deal.

0:15:16.850 --> 0:15:18.650
<v Speaker 1>This would have been for them, and then to have

0:15:18.770 --> 0:15:21.850
<v Speaker 1>to turn around and just give up after fifteen minutes is.

0:15:21.810 --> 0:15:25.010
<v Speaker 3>So hard and it would have been just so stressful

0:15:25.010 --> 0:15:28.250
<v Speaker 3>with all the different people and moving parts. Yeah, and

0:15:28.370 --> 0:15:31.490
<v Speaker 3>for that reason, just the disappointment, and also the cleaning

0:15:31.610 --> 0:15:33.690
<v Speaker 3>up of the pooh. Yeah, at least you could have

0:15:33.730 --> 0:15:34.810
<v Speaker 3>dunked them in the ocean.

0:15:35.210 --> 0:15:37.650
<v Speaker 1>But can you in full view of everyone else? You

0:15:37.690 --> 0:15:40.050
<v Speaker 1>can't have the little floaters from far.

0:15:40.330 --> 0:15:44.050
<v Speaker 4>You'd have to do at that point crisis management.

0:15:44.690 --> 0:15:48.690
<v Speaker 3>Oh maybe for that reason, I feel like they have

0:15:48.810 --> 0:15:49.810
<v Speaker 3>to be the highest scrowen.

0:15:49.850 --> 0:15:51.850
<v Speaker 4>And I'm going to ask my friend if it needs.

0:15:51.690 --> 0:15:54.570
<v Speaker 1>Her, please do report back next time.

0:15:54.730 --> 0:15:55.210
<v Speaker 4>I will.

0:15:55.450 --> 0:15:59.450
<v Speaker 3>Everyone's little hearts would have just been so disappointed to

0:15:59.570 --> 0:16:01.730
<v Speaker 3>go to the beach and then have to turn around.

0:16:02.130 --> 0:16:03.530
<v Speaker 4>Oh, we've really ended on a low.

0:16:04.090 --> 0:16:06.970
<v Speaker 1>Sad, So what are you reading it?

0:16:07.130 --> 0:16:10.170
<v Speaker 3>I think it's going to have to be nine sand

0:16:10.210 --> 0:16:11.090
<v Speaker 3>buckets out of ten.

0:16:11.250 --> 0:16:16.090
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, yeah, Look it's filled with hope but ended in tragedy.

0:16:16.850 --> 0:16:19.170
<v Speaker 1>I'm giving it nine pool explosions.

0:16:18.650 --> 0:16:22.370
<v Speaker 3>Out of ten, empty cups, empty mine. Yeah, afty hearts.

0:16:22.490 --> 0:16:23.850
<v Speaker 1>Oh so sad.

0:16:24.050 --> 0:16:26.330
<v Speaker 3>And if it is my friend, they have since gone

0:16:26.370 --> 0:16:27.410
<v Speaker 3>to the beach. I've gone with them.

0:16:27.450 --> 0:16:30.450
<v Speaker 1>Oh okay, well there you go. So there's hope happy.

0:16:30.210 --> 0:16:35.730
<v Speaker 3>Ending eighteen month old twins would be. I don't know

0:16:35.730 --> 0:16:36.250
<v Speaker 3>why they bother.

0:16:37.370 --> 0:16:41.610
<v Speaker 1>So it feels like we probably have a clue winner.

0:16:41.810 --> 0:16:43.890
<v Speaker 1>But that was only but because the other ones were

0:16:43.890 --> 0:16:47.210
<v Speaker 1>so excellent. So let's go back through them recap. So

0:16:47.250 --> 0:16:49.650
<v Speaker 1>we had Santa's canceled, which I actually think should have

0:16:49.690 --> 0:16:52.410
<v Speaker 1>been called Santa. The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy

0:16:52.410 --> 0:16:53.050
<v Speaker 1>were canceled.

0:16:53.130 --> 0:16:54.130
<v Speaker 4>A triple homicide.

0:16:54.290 --> 0:16:58.890
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, triple death. All fictional character's gone. I feel like

0:16:59.410 --> 0:17:02.250
<v Speaker 1>you're kind of brilliant. You just got it done. It's

0:17:02.250 --> 0:17:04.410
<v Speaker 1>a harsh lesson, but it's a good lesson.

0:17:04.450 --> 0:17:09.370
<v Speaker 3>It's authentic, as Oprah would say, a teachable moment.

0:17:09.450 --> 0:17:11.890
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, and because we loved it so much, you actually

0:17:11.930 --> 0:17:12.810
<v Speaker 1>got the worst points.

0:17:12.890 --> 0:17:14.810
<v Speaker 3>We're so sorry, But that means you're the best.

0:17:15.130 --> 0:17:19.850
<v Speaker 1>It means you're the best parent. So that's fine. Heavy flow. Look,

0:17:20.210 --> 0:17:23.970
<v Speaker 1>using maxipad as a nappy, I'm there with you.

0:17:24.170 --> 0:17:27.450
<v Speaker 3>Jacy has weed into a baby's Nappy's basically done it myself.

0:17:27.490 --> 0:17:30.130
<v Speaker 1>That's love to you for that one. But I think

0:17:30.170 --> 0:17:33.650
<v Speaker 1>our real winner was the shit show. That was the

0:17:33.770 --> 0:17:36.090
<v Speaker 1>trip to the beach with the eighteen month old twins.

0:17:36.090 --> 0:17:39.010
<v Speaker 3>The failed beach. Yeah, they didn't even get to have

0:17:39.050 --> 0:17:42.250
<v Speaker 3>a swim. No, build a little sand car, not a little.

0:17:42.010 --> 0:17:46.770
<v Speaker 1>Toe in the water, nothing. Congratulations, you're the worst best parent.

0:17:46.890 --> 0:17:51.490
<v Speaker 3>And for inflicting trauma on six people in one exercise, Yeah.

0:17:51.330 --> 0:17:53.090
<v Speaker 1>Looks it'll be one of those things you'll look back

0:17:53.090 --> 0:17:55.890
<v Speaker 1>on and laugh eventually, but it'll take time. So if

0:17:55.930 --> 0:17:58.170
<v Speaker 1>you've got a confession we'd love to hear from you,

0:17:58.210 --> 0:18:00.770
<v Speaker 1>Please send us your secret shame. All the details are

0:18:00.810 --> 0:18:01.450
<v Speaker 1>in the show notes.

0:18:01.490 --> 0:18:02.210
<v Speaker 4>We'll see next time.