1 00:00:21,650 --> 00:00:24,370 Speaker 1: You're listening to another Mia podcast. 2 00:00:25,170 --> 00:00:28,450 Speaker 2: Mumma Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of the land. We 3 00:00:28,530 --> 00:00:31,930 Speaker 2: have recorded this podcast on the Gatagul people of the 4 00:00:31,970 --> 00:00:35,690 Speaker 2: Eor nation. We pay our respects to their elders past 5 00:00:35,730 --> 00:00:39,370 Speaker 2: and present, and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 6 00:00:39,410 --> 00:00:41,250 Speaker 2: torres Rate islander cultures. 7 00:00:42,450 --> 00:00:47,490 Speaker 3: Hi, it's Annalise Todd here from this Glorious mess introducing 8 00:00:47,730 --> 00:00:52,370 Speaker 3: Hot Pod Summer, one hundred hours of curated listening across 9 00:00:52,410 --> 00:00:56,250 Speaker 3: the Mumamere network, just for you to escape the chaos 10 00:00:56,290 --> 00:01:00,010 Speaker 3: and enjoy with the kids at home and the weather 11 00:01:00,050 --> 00:01:04,970 Speaker 3: warming up. We've got episodes of little love Stories and Parents' 12 00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:05,890 Speaker 3: Anonymous to share. 13 00:01:06,690 --> 00:01:07,850 Speaker 4: From the beginn to the yang. 14 00:01:08,250 --> 00:01:13,490 Speaker 3: Parents Anonymous is part game show, part church confessional. You 15 00:01:13,570 --> 00:01:17,450 Speaker 3: share your deepest parenting shame, and myself and Stacey Hicks 16 00:01:17,730 --> 00:01:21,890 Speaker 3: rate you, but the worst parenting wins the most points, 17 00:01:21,970 --> 00:01:24,890 Speaker 3: so really you can't lose. If you're looking for something 18 00:01:24,890 --> 00:01:28,810 Speaker 3: else to listen to, Mama Miya is officially presenting one 19 00:01:28,890 --> 00:01:35,010 Speaker 3: hundred hours of summer listens, from meaningful conversations to incredible stories, fashion, 20 00:01:35,170 --> 00:01:36,170 Speaker 3: beauty and more. 21 00:01:36,450 --> 00:01:37,690 Speaker 4: There's a link in the show notes. 22 00:01:42,490 --> 00:01:44,370 Speaker 1: Parents Anonymous. 23 00:01:45,370 --> 00:01:49,850 Speaker 3: Welcome to this glorious mess. I'm Analie's Todd, and I 24 00:01:49,930 --> 00:01:53,370 Speaker 3: really hope that Santa has a plan and is on 25 00:01:53,410 --> 00:01:56,490 Speaker 3: the case, because I sure as Helen not. 26 00:01:57,770 --> 00:02:00,450 Speaker 1: And I'm Stacy Hicks. I'm the deputy editor at Mamma 27 00:02:00,530 --> 00:02:02,690 Speaker 1: Maya and the mum of a three year old, and 28 00:02:02,730 --> 00:02:05,770 Speaker 1: I have already threatened to call Santa and it's only November. 29 00:02:05,930 --> 00:02:07,570 Speaker 4: In cancel, I mean cancel Santa. 30 00:02:07,730 --> 00:02:11,010 Speaker 3: Yes, yes, good exactly old, but a goodie. Welcome back 31 00:02:11,050 --> 00:02:12,090 Speaker 3: to Parents Anonymous. 32 00:02:12,170 --> 00:02:14,330 Speaker 1: This is a safe space where you get to release 33 00:02:14,370 --> 00:02:17,530 Speaker 1: those secret parenting confessions you've been holding in in the 34 00:02:17,610 --> 00:02:19,930 Speaker 1: name of entertaining us and everyone listening. 35 00:02:20,010 --> 00:02:22,130 Speaker 4: This is Parents Anonymous. 36 00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:24,890 Speaker 3: So what that means is you share your story and 37 00:02:24,930 --> 00:02:28,370 Speaker 3: you get the guilt off your chest, you release, and 38 00:02:28,410 --> 00:02:31,810 Speaker 3: then we give you points based on our very serious 39 00:02:31,970 --> 00:02:37,890 Speaker 3: and scientific grading system. We award the best worst parenting. 40 00:02:37,610 --> 00:02:40,370 Speaker 1: Exactly, so there are no losers. The worse you are, 41 00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:43,290 Speaker 1: the better you are in our eyes. So it's part 42 00:02:43,370 --> 00:02:46,730 Speaker 1: church confessional, part game show, one hundred percent chaos. But 43 00:02:46,850 --> 00:02:48,730 Speaker 1: before we get into that, we always make it a 44 00:02:48,810 --> 00:02:52,450 Speaker 1: trusted space by confessing to something ourselves, just so you 45 00:02:52,490 --> 00:02:53,450 Speaker 1: know what hot messes. 46 00:02:53,450 --> 00:02:55,730 Speaker 3: We are all right, you go first, Okay. 47 00:02:55,970 --> 00:02:58,810 Speaker 1: I feel like to be a bad parent this week. 48 00:02:59,090 --> 00:03:01,890 Speaker 1: I probably had to parent, which I did very little of. 49 00:03:02,810 --> 00:03:06,050 Speaker 3: Welcome to my world, I shared custody world. 50 00:03:06,850 --> 00:03:09,570 Speaker 1: Well, we did the very selfish thing of going away 51 00:03:09,610 --> 00:03:14,050 Speaker 1: for a little kid free holiday for our anniversary. Bloody 52 00:03:14,090 --> 00:03:17,210 Speaker 1: loved it. I loved not having to peel anyone's bananas. 53 00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:18,530 Speaker 1: That's not a euphemism. 54 00:03:18,770 --> 00:03:21,330 Speaker 3: I loved your husband. 55 00:03:22,970 --> 00:03:23,690 Speaker 1: Maybe I did. 56 00:03:24,010 --> 00:03:24,290 Speaker 3: No, I. 57 00:03:26,290 --> 00:03:29,650 Speaker 1: Loved not having to cut up anyone's food, put sunscreen 58 00:03:29,690 --> 00:03:32,370 Speaker 1: on anyone but myself. It was lovely. 59 00:03:32,610 --> 00:03:34,770 Speaker 3: Didn't you put sun's been on your husband's back? Isn't 60 00:03:34,770 --> 00:03:35,490 Speaker 3: that what nufples do? 61 00:03:35,690 --> 00:03:37,850 Speaker 1: Nah, you're on your own, mate, burn I can do 62 00:03:37,970 --> 00:03:39,970 Speaker 1: my own. You deal with that yourself. I don't want 63 00:03:39,970 --> 00:03:42,250 Speaker 1: to look after anyone but myself, and that's what I 64 00:03:42,250 --> 00:03:44,410 Speaker 1: did for four days. And it was bloody lovely. We 65 00:03:44,450 --> 00:03:46,650 Speaker 1: missed her like crazy, We talked about her pretty much 66 00:03:46,650 --> 00:03:48,810 Speaker 1: the whole time, but it was lovely. 67 00:03:49,090 --> 00:03:52,610 Speaker 3: Can we just circle back to the banana. It's been 68 00:03:52,650 --> 00:03:54,410 Speaker 3: a while since I've had a three year old. I 69 00:03:54,490 --> 00:03:56,610 Speaker 3: know my youngest is nine, but to three year olds 70 00:03:56,690 --> 00:03:58,810 Speaker 3: not be able to open a banana like the monkeys 71 00:03:58,810 --> 00:03:59,130 Speaker 3: can do. 72 00:03:59,210 --> 00:04:01,650 Speaker 1: That's the end. It's that tricky bit at the end, 73 00:04:01,690 --> 00:04:04,570 Speaker 1: and God forbid it breaks in the process, then we've 74 00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:06,770 Speaker 1: got to open another one. So it's just easier if 75 00:04:06,810 --> 00:04:07,370 Speaker 1: I'm doing it. 76 00:04:07,410 --> 00:04:09,370 Speaker 3: I feel like we need to come back to some resilience. 77 00:04:09,410 --> 00:04:13,930 Speaker 1: To gottle Bit, well, leaving her with her grandparents for 78 00:04:13,970 --> 00:04:18,530 Speaker 1: four days was a little bit of resilience. So she's learning. 79 00:04:18,770 --> 00:04:21,850 Speaker 3: So my confession is more I wouldn't say it's a 80 00:04:21,890 --> 00:04:24,890 Speaker 3: bad parenting, although it's linked. It's just a bad human 81 00:04:25,650 --> 00:04:27,970 Speaker 3: So what did you do? Well, it's more what I 82 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:32,450 Speaker 3: haven't done. So we are mid November, we can safely 83 00:04:32,490 --> 00:04:34,650 Speaker 3: say roughly a month till Christmas. 84 00:04:34,690 --> 00:04:35,250 Speaker 1: Yep. 85 00:04:35,690 --> 00:04:39,450 Speaker 3: I have not thought, bought or done anything remotely to 86 00:04:39,530 --> 00:04:41,170 Speaker 3: do with gifting and Christmas. 87 00:04:41,210 --> 00:04:42,690 Speaker 1: Sorry, are we meant to have by now? 88 00:04:42,810 --> 00:04:44,930 Speaker 3: You know there's some people that they actually finish it 89 00:04:44,970 --> 00:04:48,010 Speaker 3: by Halloween, that's the thing. They've done all their gifting 90 00:04:48,850 --> 00:04:49,570 Speaker 3: by Halloween. 91 00:04:49,930 --> 00:04:52,730 Speaker 1: Well, that's just not our vibe. So to anyone else 92 00:04:52,730 --> 00:04:55,890 Speaker 1: who hasn't, you're just making them feel better. We're fine. 93 00:04:56,130 --> 00:04:58,930 Speaker 1: This is what Black Friday sales are for. We're just 94 00:04:59,010 --> 00:04:59,730 Speaker 1: being thrifty. 95 00:04:59,850 --> 00:05:01,130 Speaker 4: We are being cozy lives. 96 00:05:01,290 --> 00:05:04,410 Speaker 3: You're right, it is actually targeted and it was a strategy. 97 00:05:04,490 --> 00:05:05,810 Speaker 4: Thank you, Alon you go. 98 00:05:06,170 --> 00:05:09,370 Speaker 3: So this jow doesn't exist without your guilty confession, So 99 00:05:09,570 --> 00:05:12,410 Speaker 3: please leave us a voice note or we actually like 100 00:05:12,450 --> 00:05:14,890 Speaker 3: to read them at ourselves for dramatic effects. We'll be honest, 101 00:05:14,890 --> 00:05:17,370 Speaker 3: and that way you can be fully anonymous and email 102 00:05:17,450 --> 00:05:20,770 Speaker 3: us everyone who sends in your confessions. We just think 103 00:05:20,810 --> 00:05:23,490 Speaker 3: you because, first of what makes us feel better about 104 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:27,250 Speaker 3: ourselves and our lives. We feel not alone, we feel seen, 105 00:05:27,370 --> 00:05:30,010 Speaker 3: we feel heard, and we also just have a lot 106 00:05:30,010 --> 00:05:33,850 Speaker 3: of fun reaching them apart and picking them apart, dissecting them. 107 00:05:33,930 --> 00:05:34,930 Speaker 4: We're all in it together. 108 00:05:35,170 --> 00:05:39,090 Speaker 3: Yeah, we're all doing it badly, is what I've learned exactly. 109 00:05:39,130 --> 00:05:42,090 Speaker 1: So spill your dirty secrets, come on, send them to us. 110 00:05:42,130 --> 00:05:44,650 Speaker 4: All the options are in the show notes. 111 00:05:44,450 --> 00:05:48,650 Speaker 1: And on today's show, our mystery confessions are called Santa's Canceled. 112 00:05:49,290 --> 00:05:53,210 Speaker 1: We're aligned on that one. This heavy flow, yes, wrong 113 00:05:53,250 --> 00:05:54,690 Speaker 1: time of month for me to be aligned with you 114 00:05:54,730 --> 00:05:57,130 Speaker 1: on that one, and terrible twos. 115 00:05:57,290 --> 00:05:58,330 Speaker 3: Let's go, let's go. 116 00:06:00,210 --> 00:06:03,010 Speaker 1: You may want to turn this off if you have 117 00:06:03,050 --> 00:06:06,050 Speaker 1: little ears around or put your headphones in. I killed 118 00:06:06,090 --> 00:06:09,610 Speaker 1: off Santa, the Easter Bunny, and the tooth Fairy. In 119 00:06:09,690 --> 00:06:13,530 Speaker 1: one conversation with my daughter as in murdered or well, 120 00:06:14,170 --> 00:06:17,530 Speaker 1: she asked me, are you and Daddy Santa? And I said, 121 00:06:17,730 --> 00:06:18,530 Speaker 1: what do you think? 122 00:06:18,690 --> 00:06:19,250 Speaker 3: Hang on, mate? 123 00:06:19,250 --> 00:06:19,610 Speaker 1: How old? 124 00:06:19,610 --> 00:06:21,090 Speaker 4: Doesn't say how old? The child doesn't say. 125 00:06:21,290 --> 00:06:23,690 Speaker 1: I like the I know I want to know the age, 126 00:06:24,090 --> 00:06:26,930 Speaker 1: but I'm guessing we're probably talking six or seven. 127 00:06:27,010 --> 00:06:27,690 Speaker 4: Yes, seven. 128 00:06:27,850 --> 00:06:30,050 Speaker 1: So she asked me are you and Daddy Santa? And 129 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:32,210 Speaker 1: I said, what do you think? And she said yes, 130 00:06:32,970 --> 00:06:37,410 Speaker 1: so I nodded slowly. She then looked thoughtful and asked 131 00:06:37,770 --> 00:06:40,690 Speaker 1: Easter Bunny. I'd already fessed up and didn't want to 132 00:06:40,730 --> 00:06:44,290 Speaker 1: lie to her, so I nodded slowly again. Tooth Fairy. 133 00:06:45,530 --> 00:06:47,810 Speaker 1: She started to look a bit upset by this point, 134 00:06:47,970 --> 00:06:50,690 Speaker 1: but in for a penny, in for a pound, so 135 00:06:50,770 --> 00:06:53,850 Speaker 1: I nodded slowly again. She was pretty upset for a 136 00:06:53,930 --> 00:06:57,810 Speaker 1: day or so, but boom sorted in one go, She's 137 00:06:57,890 --> 00:07:00,930 Speaker 1: killed off every fictitious person that her child believed in. 138 00:07:01,890 --> 00:07:06,410 Speaker 3: This is just really effective parenting, because, first of all, 139 00:07:06,450 --> 00:07:07,810 Speaker 3: you know how I love honesty. 140 00:07:07,970 --> 00:07:10,810 Speaker 1: I was about to say, this is you to a tea. 141 00:07:10,930 --> 00:07:12,650 Speaker 1: You will never lie to those. 142 00:07:12,570 --> 00:07:17,130 Speaker 3: Kids then ticity tick. Yeah, you've also saved yourself a 143 00:07:17,130 --> 00:07:19,530 Speaker 3: lot of time yep, you know, laying out of the 144 00:07:19,530 --> 00:07:23,130 Speaker 3: cookies and the milk, and the spreading crumbs everywhere, and 145 00:07:23,170 --> 00:07:24,930 Speaker 3: the taking a bite of a gross carrot. 146 00:07:25,290 --> 00:07:26,130 Speaker 1: That's the worst. 147 00:07:26,770 --> 00:07:29,610 Speaker 3: So you've saved a lot of you know, admin in theater. 148 00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:30,290 Speaker 1: Yeah. 149 00:07:30,410 --> 00:07:32,850 Speaker 3: Yeah, and also money for the teeth. 150 00:07:33,090 --> 00:07:34,890 Speaker 1: I was about to say the Tooth Fair is actually 151 00:07:34,930 --> 00:07:37,850 Speaker 1: the best one to kill off early because no money. 152 00:07:37,690 --> 00:07:41,170 Speaker 3: Needed expensive, Yeah, because I think they lose about fourteen teeth. 153 00:07:41,410 --> 00:07:45,530 Speaker 1: I think my brother played along with the tooth Fairy Delius. 154 00:07:46,090 --> 00:07:47,370 Speaker 4: Too long in the two. 155 00:07:47,570 --> 00:07:49,730 Speaker 1: Too long in the two, that is for sure, because 156 00:07:49,770 --> 00:07:52,250 Speaker 1: he's tactical and he wanted to keep getting the money. 157 00:07:52,450 --> 00:07:55,970 Speaker 1: It is devastating when you find that out. I remember 158 00:07:55,970 --> 00:07:58,170 Speaker 1: that I wasn't as smart as your child. I feel 159 00:07:58,170 --> 00:08:00,690 Speaker 1: like this child's quite smart to put them all together, 160 00:08:01,250 --> 00:08:03,850 Speaker 1: all the different ones from throughout the year. So I mean, 161 00:08:03,890 --> 00:08:06,210 Speaker 1: you've got a smart kid on your hands. Points for that. 162 00:08:06,410 --> 00:08:10,810 Speaker 3: Yeah. My youngest from five just went yeah, right, this 163 00:08:10,930 --> 00:08:13,650 Speaker 3: is a sham m cynical and clever. 164 00:08:13,890 --> 00:08:14,570 Speaker 1: Yeah. 165 00:08:14,610 --> 00:08:17,330 Speaker 3: And you know, I think that this is just also 166 00:08:18,170 --> 00:08:21,170 Speaker 3: resilience training, which I always really go on a. I'm 167 00:08:21,210 --> 00:08:25,690 Speaker 3: all for resilience, training, cruel to be kind, yes, and authenticity. 168 00:08:25,730 --> 00:08:27,330 Speaker 4: I feel like this was a parenting win. 169 00:08:27,530 --> 00:08:27,850 Speaker 3: Yeah. 170 00:08:27,930 --> 00:08:31,290 Speaker 1: I think that this is a good thing because I 171 00:08:31,330 --> 00:08:34,330 Speaker 1: always get annoyed that Santa gets the credit for the 172 00:08:34,330 --> 00:08:39,850 Speaker 1: best presence like that annoys me that the character energy. 173 00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,970 Speaker 1: I want to be the main character. I want to 174 00:08:42,010 --> 00:08:44,010 Speaker 1: be the one that gets thanked for giving her presence. 175 00:08:44,690 --> 00:08:46,490 Speaker 1: So I actually think it's kind of genius. 176 00:08:46,570 --> 00:08:52,130 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'm confusing and confused myself because this is good parenting, yeah, 177 00:08:53,010 --> 00:08:55,130 Speaker 3: from my perspective. So I'm going to just sort of 178 00:08:55,410 --> 00:08:57,650 Speaker 3: go middle of the line and just give it sort 179 00:08:57,650 --> 00:08:59,850 Speaker 3: of seven stockings out of ten. 180 00:09:00,250 --> 00:09:03,930 Speaker 1: So it was so good that you've deducted points, is 181 00:09:03,930 --> 00:09:04,330 Speaker 1: what you're saying. 182 00:09:04,370 --> 00:09:07,450 Speaker 3: Correct, it's actually good parenting, in my opinion, parenting, So 183 00:09:07,450 --> 00:09:08,330 Speaker 3: you get points off for me. 184 00:09:08,410 --> 00:09:11,330 Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, Well, given you got rid of the tooth 185 00:09:11,370 --> 00:09:14,650 Speaker 1: fairy as well one foul swoop, I think I will 186 00:09:14,690 --> 00:09:19,130 Speaker 1: give you six coins out of ten. That's pretty harmless. 187 00:09:19,130 --> 00:09:20,770 Speaker 1: Well done to you, good parent. 188 00:09:24,850 --> 00:09:25,170 Speaker 2: All right. 189 00:09:25,290 --> 00:09:33,650 Speaker 4: Confession number two heavy flow. I ran out of nappies 190 00:09:33,690 --> 00:09:35,250 Speaker 4: for my thirteen month old son. 191 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,530 Speaker 3: I had a full day of errands, including going to 192 00:09:37,610 --> 00:09:40,210 Speaker 3: the shop to buy more nappies. So, in a moment 193 00:09:40,250 --> 00:09:43,410 Speaker 3: of desperation, I used a Maxi Pad as his nappy. 194 00:09:43,930 --> 00:09:46,250 Speaker 3: I totally forgot i'd done that, and then dropped my 195 00:09:46,330 --> 00:09:48,970 Speaker 3: son at a friend's house to babysit just a few 196 00:09:49,010 --> 00:09:52,210 Speaker 3: hours so I could finish the errands. When I came 197 00:09:52,250 --> 00:09:54,450 Speaker 3: back to pick him up, she was smirking at me 198 00:09:54,610 --> 00:09:58,570 Speaker 3: and said so when I went to change him. I 199 00:09:58,610 --> 00:10:01,370 Speaker 3: cut her off and said, yep, my worst or proudest 200 00:10:01,490 --> 00:10:06,690 Speaker 3: parenting moment yet. So she used a pad instead of 201 00:10:06,690 --> 00:10:09,130 Speaker 3: a nappy. It's just basic mcguiver. 202 00:10:09,610 --> 00:10:13,330 Speaker 1: I had us desperate times, calls for desperate measures. 203 00:10:13,570 --> 00:10:17,730 Speaker 3: Yes, and you yourself, Stacy, have confessed on this very 204 00:10:17,770 --> 00:10:21,090 Speaker 3: show that you once used a nappy to weep into 205 00:10:21,370 --> 00:10:24,650 Speaker 3: I did, and by that point the damn was about 206 00:10:24,730 --> 00:10:28,050 Speaker 3: to burn. I had to pull out two of my 207 00:10:28,130 --> 00:10:32,610 Speaker 3: daughter's nappies and just release right there in the car. 208 00:10:33,610 --> 00:10:37,290 Speaker 1: I did so look I was toastpart them. My bladder 209 00:10:37,650 --> 00:10:40,370 Speaker 1: was not at its strongest, still isn't to this very day, 210 00:10:40,490 --> 00:10:43,090 Speaker 1: never will be again, never will be again. Ruined for life. 211 00:10:43,090 --> 00:10:44,770 Speaker 1: This is why you and I cross our legs every 212 00:10:44,770 --> 00:10:47,970 Speaker 1: time we laugh at one another, and I just had 213 00:10:48,010 --> 00:10:49,450 Speaker 1: to do what I had to do. It was either 214 00:10:49,490 --> 00:10:53,010 Speaker 1: that or we in my car. So sometimes these things happen. 215 00:10:53,050 --> 00:10:56,490 Speaker 1: And I think motherhood is one of those times. When 216 00:10:56,530 --> 00:10:58,970 Speaker 1: you have a baby you realize how low you'll go. 217 00:11:00,050 --> 00:11:04,170 Speaker 1: Sometimes you think that could never be me ye, and 218 00:11:04,210 --> 00:11:06,770 Speaker 1: then it is. You let your kid eat a dog biscuit, 219 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,010 Speaker 1: You child nappy. 220 00:11:10,210 --> 00:11:13,170 Speaker 4: That's fine, it's basic survival skins. 221 00:11:13,210 --> 00:11:15,170 Speaker 1: You don't wash your hair for three weeks straight like 222 00:11:15,210 --> 00:11:16,490 Speaker 1: you really do, drop the. 223 00:11:16,410 --> 00:11:19,770 Speaker 3: Stairs dry shampoo. There's a soul for everything. Yeah, throwing 224 00:11:19,850 --> 00:11:20,130 Speaker 3: up here. 225 00:11:20,290 --> 00:11:22,090 Speaker 1: Look, I think that this is great, and I think 226 00:11:22,090 --> 00:11:24,290 Speaker 1: it's great that you use maxi pads because if you're 227 00:11:24,290 --> 00:11:26,770 Speaker 1: a tampon girly, you would have been up the river. 228 00:11:26,930 --> 00:11:31,930 Speaker 1: Oh oh, she wouldn't have been able to use them. 229 00:11:32,530 --> 00:11:36,850 Speaker 1: I was, so she wouldn't have been able to use it, 230 00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:38,850 Speaker 1: so she would have had nothing. So I think that 231 00:11:38,890 --> 00:11:39,850 Speaker 1: this is really clever. 232 00:11:40,170 --> 00:11:42,810 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's actually not bad parenting at all. So by 233 00:11:42,930 --> 00:11:45,370 Speaker 3: that measure, I have to take points off because it's 234 00:11:45,370 --> 00:11:46,970 Speaker 3: just bare grills. It's survivors. 235 00:11:47,450 --> 00:11:51,010 Speaker 1: For the embarrassment that a friend discovered this without any context, 236 00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:54,010 Speaker 1: that's quite funny. Yeah, and that's quite embarrassing. 237 00:11:53,650 --> 00:11:55,530 Speaker 4: Especially if they weren't a good friend. 238 00:11:56,050 --> 00:11:58,530 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, I mean you're probably not leaving a baby 239 00:11:58,570 --> 00:12:00,570 Speaker 1: with an acquaintance, so you could. 240 00:12:01,170 --> 00:12:03,970 Speaker 3: People leave them with strange babysitters all the time. I 241 00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,130 Speaker 3: don't assume their closeness after their child. 242 00:12:07,730 --> 00:12:08,650 Speaker 4: So what are you scoring. 243 00:12:08,930 --> 00:12:11,610 Speaker 1: I can feel the embarrassment in my bones of having 244 00:12:11,610 --> 00:12:14,810 Speaker 1: to try and justify to a friend why my child 245 00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:20,010 Speaker 1: had that instead of an happy So I'm giving you 246 00:12:20,410 --> 00:12:22,210 Speaker 1: a and a half maxipads out of ten. 247 00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:24,770 Speaker 3: I'm going to give you eight ten out of ten. 248 00:12:26,770 --> 00:12:31,930 Speaker 1: Don't don't. 249 00:12:33,290 --> 00:12:33,890 Speaker 4: Bring it home. 250 00:12:35,490 --> 00:12:41,730 Speaker 1: Last confession. So, after having twins, life was chaos with 251 00:12:41,850 --> 00:12:45,090 Speaker 1: two older kids and now a very busy house of 252 00:12:45,130 --> 00:12:46,930 Speaker 1: six oh thoughts and prayers. 253 00:12:47,210 --> 00:12:47,490 Speaker 3: God. 254 00:12:48,290 --> 00:12:50,570 Speaker 1: When the twins were about eighteen months, we had a 255 00:12:50,610 --> 00:12:52,970 Speaker 1: moment of we've got this and decided to go on 256 00:12:53,010 --> 00:12:57,210 Speaker 1: our first family trip to the beach. We gathered, we organized, 257 00:12:57,290 --> 00:13:00,210 Speaker 1: we slapped on sunscreen, and packed everyone into the van 258 00:13:00,570 --> 00:13:03,930 Speaker 1: and off to the beach we went. Almost immediately, one 259 00:13:04,010 --> 00:13:06,810 Speaker 1: twin kept trying to throw himself into the surf with 260 00:13:06,850 --> 00:13:10,810 Speaker 1: the determination of a nineteenth century tortured poet, trying to 261 00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,970 Speaker 1: end it all. The other twin then had a pooh 262 00:13:14,010 --> 00:13:16,850 Speaker 1: explosion that went all up his back and was dripping 263 00:13:16,890 --> 00:13:20,170 Speaker 1: out onto the sand, all whilst our middle child had 264 00:13:20,170 --> 00:13:23,530 Speaker 1: a massive tantrum. Our eldest wandered away where we couldn't 265 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,890 Speaker 1: see him, so Dad went hunting in a panic with 266 00:13:26,010 --> 00:13:29,170 Speaker 1: soggy twin number one under his arm. We gathered everyone up, 267 00:13:29,410 --> 00:13:31,810 Speaker 1: slunk back to the car and set off home a 268 00:13:31,810 --> 00:13:34,330 Speaker 1: whole fifteen minutes after arriving. 269 00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:37,170 Speaker 3: I think this was sent in by one of my friends. 270 00:13:38,370 --> 00:13:42,170 Speaker 3: I think I know this. Yeah, I do, I really do. 271 00:13:42,650 --> 00:13:45,450 Speaker 1: And it's not so anonymous after all, no. 272 00:13:45,330 --> 00:13:47,370 Speaker 3: Because if it is the same person. I remember when 273 00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,970 Speaker 3: I went to the park with my youngest and the 274 00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:52,170 Speaker 3: same age as her twins, and I was like, why 275 00:13:52,250 --> 00:13:54,450 Speaker 3: is the park so hard? And then I literally saw 276 00:13:54,530 --> 00:13:58,010 Speaker 3: her and her husband had to dart after a twin 277 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:00,130 Speaker 3: each for a full hour, and I thought, no, one 278 00:14:00,170 --> 00:14:01,370 Speaker 3: know why you don't leave the house? 279 00:14:01,450 --> 00:14:04,850 Speaker 1: Yeah, oh my gosh, And bless them. They were so 280 00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,650 Speaker 1: full of hope. They thought they'd gotten to the point 281 00:14:07,690 --> 00:14:09,850 Speaker 1: where they could do it and have a nice family 282 00:14:09,930 --> 00:14:10,730 Speaker 1: outing together. 283 00:14:10,930 --> 00:14:12,610 Speaker 3: And also, a year and a half is a long 284 00:14:12,690 --> 00:14:15,010 Speaker 3: time to not go to the beach. Yeah, I would 285 00:14:15,050 --> 00:14:15,850 Speaker 3: struggle with that. 286 00:14:16,130 --> 00:14:18,090 Speaker 1: I know you love the beach. I love the beach, 287 00:14:18,130 --> 00:14:20,570 Speaker 1: But the beach with a kid is not as much fun. 288 00:14:20,890 --> 00:14:23,730 Speaker 1: No sand in places it should not be, they try 289 00:14:23,770 --> 00:14:28,330 Speaker 1: to eat it. It somehow gets everywhere. It's always a nightmare. 290 00:14:28,370 --> 00:14:31,610 Speaker 3: Even with tween age children, it's not as fun because 291 00:14:31,850 --> 00:14:34,170 Speaker 3: well because they take risks and you've got to watch 292 00:14:34,170 --> 00:14:36,370 Speaker 3: them the whole time still to make sure they don't drown. 293 00:14:36,690 --> 00:14:38,530 Speaker 3: So going to the beach on your own is definitely 294 00:14:38,770 --> 00:14:39,650 Speaker 3: a wind preferred. 295 00:14:39,850 --> 00:14:41,290 Speaker 4: Yes, yeah, recommended. 296 00:14:41,490 --> 00:14:44,050 Speaker 1: Good on you for trying it. At least now, if 297 00:14:44,090 --> 00:14:46,290 Speaker 1: it goes any better than fifteen minutes, you'll be really 298 00:14:46,330 --> 00:14:49,650 Speaker 1: impressed with yourself. But that is grim. That is grim. 299 00:14:49,650 --> 00:14:51,970 Speaker 1: The pooor explosion is probably the low point. I think 300 00:14:52,010 --> 00:14:52,930 Speaker 1: we can all again. 301 00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:55,810 Speaker 3: Imagine all the packing that would have gone into like 302 00:14:55,850 --> 00:14:57,850 Speaker 3: a day out with that many children. Can I take 303 00:14:57,970 --> 00:15:01,330 Speaker 3: one kid, I look like a moving house, like I 304 00:15:01,370 --> 00:15:04,690 Speaker 3: will have my full boot packed with options. 305 00:15:04,810 --> 00:15:09,170 Speaker 4: That's insufferable. You don't need that many things. 306 00:15:09,210 --> 00:15:11,330 Speaker 1: Just don't know. You have no idea how much my 307 00:15:11,370 --> 00:15:13,970 Speaker 1: little girl eats. You just need to be planned for 308 00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:16,770 Speaker 1: all occasions. So I can imagine what a big deal. 309 00:15:16,850 --> 00:15:18,650 Speaker 1: This would have been for them, and then to have 310 00:15:18,770 --> 00:15:21,850 Speaker 1: to turn around and just give up after fifteen minutes is. 311 00:15:21,810 --> 00:15:25,010 Speaker 3: So hard and it would have been just so stressful 312 00:15:25,010 --> 00:15:28,250 Speaker 3: with all the different people and moving parts. Yeah, and 313 00:15:28,370 --> 00:15:31,490 Speaker 3: for that reason, just the disappointment, and also the cleaning 314 00:15:31,610 --> 00:15:33,690 Speaker 3: up of the pooh. Yeah, at least you could have 315 00:15:33,730 --> 00:15:34,810 Speaker 3: dunked them in the ocean. 316 00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,650 Speaker 1: But can you in full view of everyone else? You 317 00:15:37,690 --> 00:15:40,050 Speaker 1: can't have the little floaters from far. 318 00:15:40,330 --> 00:15:44,050 Speaker 4: You'd have to do at that point crisis management. 319 00:15:44,690 --> 00:15:48,690 Speaker 3: Oh maybe for that reason, I feel like they have 320 00:15:48,810 --> 00:15:49,810 Speaker 3: to be the highest scrowen. 321 00:15:49,850 --> 00:15:51,850 Speaker 4: And I'm going to ask my friend if it needs. 322 00:15:51,690 --> 00:15:54,570 Speaker 1: Her, please do report back next time. 323 00:15:54,730 --> 00:15:55,210 Speaker 4: I will. 324 00:15:55,450 --> 00:15:59,450 Speaker 3: Everyone's little hearts would have just been so disappointed to 325 00:15:59,570 --> 00:16:01,730 Speaker 3: go to the beach and then have to turn around. 326 00:16:02,130 --> 00:16:03,530 Speaker 4: Oh, we've really ended on a low. 327 00:16:04,090 --> 00:16:06,970 Speaker 1: Sad, So what are you reading it? 328 00:16:07,130 --> 00:16:10,170 Speaker 3: I think it's going to have to be nine sand 329 00:16:10,210 --> 00:16:11,090 Speaker 3: buckets out of ten. 330 00:16:11,250 --> 00:16:16,090 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, Look it's filled with hope but ended in tragedy. 331 00:16:16,850 --> 00:16:19,170 Speaker 1: I'm giving it nine pool explosions. 332 00:16:18,650 --> 00:16:22,370 Speaker 3: Out of ten, empty cups, empty mine. Yeah, afty hearts. 333 00:16:22,490 --> 00:16:23,850 Speaker 1: Oh so sad. 334 00:16:24,050 --> 00:16:26,330 Speaker 3: And if it is my friend, they have since gone 335 00:16:26,370 --> 00:16:27,410 Speaker 3: to the beach. I've gone with them. 336 00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:30,450 Speaker 1: Oh okay, well there you go. So there's hope happy. 337 00:16:30,210 --> 00:16:35,730 Speaker 3: Ending eighteen month old twins would be. I don't know 338 00:16:35,730 --> 00:16:36,250 Speaker 3: why they bother. 339 00:16:37,370 --> 00:16:41,610 Speaker 1: So it feels like we probably have a clue winner. 340 00:16:41,810 --> 00:16:43,890 Speaker 1: But that was only but because the other ones were 341 00:16:43,890 --> 00:16:47,210 Speaker 1: so excellent. So let's go back through them recap. So 342 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:49,650 Speaker 1: we had Santa's canceled, which I actually think should have 343 00:16:49,690 --> 00:16:52,410 Speaker 1: been called Santa. The Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy 344 00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:53,050 Speaker 1: were canceled. 345 00:16:53,130 --> 00:16:54,130 Speaker 4: A triple homicide. 346 00:16:54,290 --> 00:16:58,890 Speaker 1: Yeah, triple death. All fictional character's gone. I feel like 347 00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:02,250 Speaker 1: you're kind of brilliant. You just got it done. It's 348 00:17:02,250 --> 00:17:04,410 Speaker 1: a harsh lesson, but it's a good lesson. 349 00:17:04,450 --> 00:17:09,370 Speaker 3: It's authentic, as Oprah would say, a teachable moment. 350 00:17:09,450 --> 00:17:11,890 Speaker 1: Yeah, and because we loved it so much, you actually 351 00:17:11,930 --> 00:17:12,810 Speaker 1: got the worst points. 352 00:17:12,890 --> 00:17:14,810 Speaker 3: We're so sorry, But that means you're the best. 353 00:17:15,130 --> 00:17:19,850 Speaker 1: It means you're the best parent. So that's fine. Heavy flow. Look, 354 00:17:20,210 --> 00:17:23,970 Speaker 1: using maxipad as a nappy, I'm there with you. 355 00:17:24,170 --> 00:17:27,450 Speaker 3: Jacy has weed into a baby's Nappy's basically done it myself. 356 00:17:27,490 --> 00:17:30,130 Speaker 1: That's love to you for that one. But I think 357 00:17:30,170 --> 00:17:33,650 Speaker 1: our real winner was the shit show. That was the 358 00:17:33,770 --> 00:17:36,090 Speaker 1: trip to the beach with the eighteen month old twins. 359 00:17:36,090 --> 00:17:39,010 Speaker 3: The failed beach. Yeah, they didn't even get to have 360 00:17:39,050 --> 00:17:42,250 Speaker 3: a swim. No, build a little sand car, not a little. 361 00:17:42,010 --> 00:17:46,770 Speaker 1: Toe in the water, nothing. Congratulations, you're the worst best parent. 362 00:17:46,890 --> 00:17:51,490 Speaker 3: And for inflicting trauma on six people in one exercise, Yeah. 363 00:17:51,330 --> 00:17:53,090 Speaker 1: Looks it'll be one of those things you'll look back 364 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:55,890 Speaker 1: on and laugh eventually, but it'll take time. So if 365 00:17:55,930 --> 00:17:58,170 Speaker 1: you've got a confession we'd love to hear from you, 366 00:17:58,210 --> 00:18:00,770 Speaker 1: Please send us your secret shame. All the details are 367 00:18:00,810 --> 00:18:01,450 Speaker 1: in the show notes. 368 00:18:01,490 --> 00:18:02,210 Speaker 4: We'll see next time.