WEBVTT - Please Stop Telling Me My Son’s Autistic

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<v Speaker 1>We acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land we're recording

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<v Speaker 1>on today.

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<v Speaker 2>Hello, and welcome back to Eat Sleep Meat.

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<v Speaker 3>Why change it even eat Brokenny, I'm Kelly McCarran.

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<v Speaker 1>And I'm Kirious Cells, and it's a slight modification. Firstly,

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<v Speaker 1>let me just address the huge rouseby elephant in the room.

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<v Speaker 1>My poor voice. I'm sorry, I'm going to try and

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<v Speaker 1>make it through this episode. Hopefully it's sexy and not annoying.

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<v Speaker 2>Sexy.

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<v Speaker 3>You're not squeaky?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh good, good, good, well in regards to ours slight modification,

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<v Speaker 1>if you will, we are erring on the side of

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<v Speaker 1>caution by removing the swear from the title, because, as

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<v Speaker 1>it turns out, swears are not very commercially friendly.

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<v Speaker 2>Who would think it, certainly not two goals with more

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<v Speaker 2>than thirty years of marketing experience between them.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh gosh, I know, I know.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't worry everyone, You're still our shitters. You can't like

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<v Speaker 2>stop that unfortunate nickname. Although Key suggest we change it

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<v Speaker 2>to eat Sleep Play Repeat, and I was actually super

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<v Speaker 2>excited about that because I was ready to be like

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<v Speaker 2>he plaius like. I just thought that that was quite fun.

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<v Speaker 2>But we're keeping it simple.

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<v Speaker 1>It would have been so cute.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, we're keeping it simple though, Eat, sleep, repeat, because

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<v Speaker 2>that's pretty much just I mean, it sums up life,

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<v Speaker 2>doesn't it.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And we'll know, we'll know that there's a swear

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<v Speaker 1>there that's just a silent sway, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>And like if you're like Kiri Sels, you don't always shit,

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<v Speaker 2>so it's not a given.

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<v Speaker 1>So true. You know what starts about our friendship. You

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<v Speaker 1>never let me lift anything.

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<v Speaker 3>Down and I don't forget anything anyway.

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<v Speaker 1>On the show today, Kelly's annoyed about something today. She's

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<v Speaker 1>got some thoughts and she's ready to rant, but first

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<v Speaker 1>he can pit.

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<v Speaker 3>Baby, Yeah, queen, everything's through to shit.

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<v Speaker 2>So I feel like my pit is a little bit awkward,

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<v Speaker 2>given you are the one you sound like you're really suffering.

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<v Speaker 2>But my pit is that last week my voice just

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<v Speaker 2>fucked off on vacation again. And I mean yeah, like

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<v Speaker 2>it was my first time working with the new head

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<v Speaker 2>of lifestyle, who I am obsessed with it, Mama mea.

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<v Speaker 2>Like I just clicked with her from the day I

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<v Speaker 2>met her. I just love her so much because she

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<v Speaker 2>was so worried and I was like, oh no, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>the longtime ubies, people that have like followed me or

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<v Speaker 2>listen to any pod that I've done for the last

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<v Speaker 2>few years will know that my voice often more so

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<v Speaker 2>than average and on a lot of the time, like

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<v Speaker 2>when I'm not even sick, like last week I had

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<v Speaker 2>a mild cold at best, like I was just I'm

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<v Speaker 2>just a bit snotty, you know, which I pretty much

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<v Speaker 2>am the whole way through winter, like anyone with Toddler's is.

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<v Speaker 2>Even without toddlers or babies, I remember just always being snotty.

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<v Speaker 2>But the amount of people, you know, Kein I were

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<v Speaker 2>talking off Mike about how like, at least when it's us,

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<v Speaker 2>both of us are so flexy. We call it flexi

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<v Speaker 2>sexy with every thing that we do because we're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>no big deal, like we'll just do it this day,

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<v Speaker 2>we'll slott it in here, we'll do it at eight

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<v Speaker 2>pm if we need to, like we'll always just so

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<v Speaker 2>happy to work around each other. And our glorious audio

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<v Speaker 2>producer Mads is also quite like if we're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry, Mads, but we're not going to get

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<v Speaker 2>it to you till you know, Monday and the episod's

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<v Speaker 2>up on Wednesday. She's always just so good. But the

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<v Speaker 2>thing is, when it's a big company like Muma Mia,

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<v Speaker 2>the amount of people that you are stuffing around because

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<v Speaker 2>it's such a huge production line. When you know, you

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<v Speaker 2>turn up and then your voice, you only get through

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<v Speaker 2>one episode and you meant to be doing five, and

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<v Speaker 2>everyone is just so lovely. But I just felt so

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<v Speaker 2>bad for stuffing so many people up. And it's also

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<v Speaker 2>just so stressful because if I can't use my voice,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't get paid. It's as simple as that, Like, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>if you can't use the thing that you need to

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<v Speaker 2>do your job, and you work for yourself, you literally like,

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<v Speaker 2>there's no such thing as sick if you just don't

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<v Speaker 2>get paid if you can't do it. And so given

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<v Speaker 2>that I'm not even sick, it just makes it so frustrating.

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<v Speaker 2>So I need to do something about it. If anyone

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<v Speaker 2>remembers from when we were sort of discussing Christmas episode,

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<v Speaker 2>I was like, yeah, Christmas wasn't that great because I

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<v Speaker 2>had no voice the entire week. My voice completely disappears,

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<v Speaker 2>like I cannot get words out. So I can whisper, obviously,

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<v Speaker 2>but you can't whisper on a pod like this isn't ASMR.

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<v Speaker 3>That would be weird anyway.

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<v Speaker 2>So yeah, I'm going to actually investigate into a speech

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<v Speaker 2>pathologist that specializes in the voice, because it could just

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<v Speaker 2>be that, like I need to actually get my voice

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<v Speaker 2>box fitter so that I can fight things off.

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<v Speaker 1>I do think though, that you and I probably had

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<v Speaker 1>the same thing, because Beck also got a Goldie who's

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<v Speaker 1>roused bestI her mum and she lost her voice as well,

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<v Speaker 1>And the boys have had this cough, so we've all

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<v Speaker 1>had the same thing.

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<v Speaker 3>I haven't had a cough.

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<v Speaker 1>It's not a cough all the time. It's just like

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<v Speaker 1>a random cough. But everyone lost their voice, so I

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<v Speaker 1>reckon maybe you just as someone who loses their voice

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<v Speaker 1>quite easily, maybe really sensitive to it or something. But

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<v Speaker 1>oh yeah, I never lose my voice ever, and I

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<v Speaker 1>always get tonsil stuff. I swear to god. It's like

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<v Speaker 1>whatever the thing going around, it's just like does a

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<v Speaker 1>number on your throat?

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<v Speaker 3>Did Charlie and Rue get it?

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Charlie and Rue got it, but it presented differently,

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<v Speaker 1>and then back and I were exactly the same, like clockwork.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like fire in my throat, and then the

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<v Speaker 1>next day, no voice that's how quick it was. God crazy. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>Sorry I'm stealing a thunder. I'm just you know, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>right there.

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<v Speaker 2>Actually, Ah, you sound like you're way more there actually. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 2>So my peak is over the long weekend. Usually go

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<v Speaker 2>away for the long weekend because my parents live far away,

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<v Speaker 2>so it's the best, you know, to be able to

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<v Speaker 2>go away for the long weekend and visit them.

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<v Speaker 3>Actually, as you do too a lot.

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<v Speaker 2>But I didn't this year because my friend had really

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<v Speaker 2>wanted to have well, I sort of pushed her to

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<v Speaker 2>have a birthday celebration, and obviously a lot of people

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<v Speaker 2>were away, but I managed to wrangle some of our

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<v Speaker 2>good friends and just planned.

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<v Speaker 3>And I'm not very.

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<v Speaker 2>Organized, so I also like get very excited when I

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<v Speaker 2>managed to successfully plan things. I planned like this little

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<v Speaker 2>birthday soiree for her, and it was just so nice

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<v Speaker 2>to see her smile and everyone sort of celebrating, and

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<v Speaker 2>I made her a big dick cake and we're at

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<v Speaker 2>quite a nice restaurant and then I got really embarrassed,

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<v Speaker 2>Havan it was just a really unfortunate looking cake, but

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<v Speaker 2>she loves phallic shaped items, so it was just like

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<v Speaker 2>a really lovely day and it was just so nice

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<v Speaker 2>to celebrate her, and it's just such a good reminded

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<v Speaker 2>to people make the effort with your friends because before that,

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<v Speaker 2>I hadn't seen my friends since anne Zac Day, so

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<v Speaker 2>maybe a month which you know, I know isn't that

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<v Speaker 2>long for some people that don't go out that often,

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<v Speaker 2>but god, it really.

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<v Speaker 3>Just fuels me.

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<v Speaker 2>As we've talked about before, and it just like it

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<v Speaker 2>brings me so much joy spending time with my girlfriends

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<v Speaker 2>and having great conversations and just laughing about everything.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, one hundred percent, I love that col beautiful.

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<v Speaker 3>What's your pit and peak?

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, well I'm going to try and share without crying

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<v Speaker 1>because it's a bit emotional crying.

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<v Speaker 3>That's it's a safe space.

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<v Speaker 1>Over the weekend, I really reached my breaking point with

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<v Speaker 1>the three month sleep regression. Things are a lot easier

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<v Speaker 1>the second time around with a baby, no doubt, but

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<v Speaker 1>also you forget how bad it is. And also it's

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<v Speaker 1>a new baby, so how they present and that regression

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<v Speaker 1>can be different, and it definitely isn't our case. But

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<v Speaker 1>basically what had happened is that I had been contact

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<v Speaker 1>mapping all day, which I'm pretty used to because she's

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<v Speaker 1>a really sensitive gal and she just wants to be held,

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<v Speaker 1>and that is fine. That by itself is typically fine

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<v Speaker 1>for me to manage. But with the regression, it meant

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<v Speaker 1>that at night she was waking every half an hour

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<v Speaker 1>or every hour, and the only way that she felt

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<v Speaker 1>comfortable was sleeping on me. But because I was so exhausted,

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<v Speaker 1>I didn't feel comfortable co sleeping because I just sometimes

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<v Speaker 1>for me, when I'm that exhausted, I just worry that

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<v Speaker 1>I wouldn't wake up or whatever. So I had just

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<v Speaker 1>been pushing through and pushing through and pushing through.

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<v Speaker 2>That's actually one of the rules about co sleeping that

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<v Speaker 2>you don't do it if you don't feel rested. That's

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<v Speaker 2>the right way to do it. That you felt like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm actually just too tired, and I don't think that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm going to wake up easily.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, Like I just felt like if I had got

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<v Speaker 1>into a position that was comfortable and I was like,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, and she wasn't moving like I would. Yeah. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>So I'd been pushing through and pushing through and it

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<v Speaker 1>had been really hard, and I was noticing that it

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<v Speaker 1>was really hard. And then I got sick, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I got better and then I got sick again. But

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<v Speaker 1>on the early hours of Saturday morning, she woke up

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<v Speaker 1>at four, I fed her, put her back down, and

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<v Speaker 1>then I couldn't get back to sleep. And typically in

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<v Speaker 1>the morning we would have a better stretch of like

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<v Speaker 1>for some reason, you know, at like five, I'll put

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<v Speaker 1>her down and then she might slip through till you know,

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<v Speaker 1>seven or eight. Usually there's a big stretch in the

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<v Speaker 1>early morning during the regression, which has been really helpful.

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<v Speaker 1>But I did not get back to sleep, and I

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<v Speaker 1>had my niece's birthday party, which RU was so excited about,

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<v Speaker 1>and so was I because I love seeing my nieces.

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<v Speaker 1>And Charlie's like, just stay home, like they'll understand. I

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<v Speaker 1>was like, no, like I really want to go. It's

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<v Speaker 1>in a hall. It's gonna be really chill, like it'll

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<v Speaker 1>be fine. I went, and my throat started to go,

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<v Speaker 1>and then I was talking and I just wasn't myself,

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<v Speaker 1>like I was trying really hard. My sister in law

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<v Speaker 1>was like, I'm really worried about you, like you look

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<v Speaker 1>terrible and you sound terrible. And then as soon as

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<v Speaker 1>we left, it was like all of that caught up

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<v Speaker 1>with me and my ears started ringing, my eyes were bloodshot,

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<v Speaker 1>I was nauseous, I was getting hot and cold. Like

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<v Speaker 1>it was a twenty minute drive from their home, and

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<v Speaker 1>I was just like so broken. And Charlie didn't even

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<v Speaker 1>like we didn't even park the car. He was just

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<v Speaker 1>like run upstairs, getting to bed now. So I went

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<v Speaker 1>upstairs and I got into bed, and I don't even

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<v Speaker 1>know if I slept because I felt like I was conscious.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like twilight sleeping or something, but just closing

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<v Speaker 1>my eyes and resting did help. Like when I got up,

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<v Speaker 1>I was like significantly better, but not still not good,

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<v Speaker 1>but it was bad. It was really bad because I

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<v Speaker 1>had such a physical reaction to the sleep deprivation, like

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<v Speaker 1>I was before I laid down. I was like dry

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<v Speaker 1>wretching in the toilet because I thought I was going

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<v Speaker 1>to vomit, like and I think it was a combination.

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<v Speaker 1>I think obviously I was getting sick again, which I

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<v Speaker 1>didn't realize. I just thought my stupid voice had gone away.

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<v Speaker 1>And then yeah, just being so tired and worn out.

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<v Speaker 1>So that was my pit and it was really awful,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it's probably the worst moment I've had,

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<v Speaker 1>and the second time having a newborn for sure.

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<v Speaker 2>And it also is exacerbated by the fact that you're back.

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<v Speaker 3>At work now.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, exactly when.

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<v Speaker 2>You first brought her home, as much as you could,

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<v Speaker 2>you could still just rest through the day. But now

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<v Speaker 2>you've got so many different responsibilities. It's just adding onto

0:11:20.840 --> 0:11:22.600
<v Speaker 2>that plus trying to buy a house, Like there is

0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:24.560
<v Speaker 2>just so much on your plate at the moment.

0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:26.320
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, it's a lot.

0:11:26.400 --> 0:11:29.719
<v Speaker 2>And I could Oh god, I can feel it is

0:11:29.800 --> 0:11:34.880
<v Speaker 2>all that sleep when you're that tired, it's an awful feeling.

0:11:35.040 --> 0:11:37.880
<v Speaker 2>I'm so sorry. Like that's just like he's hoping it

0:11:37.880 --> 0:11:40.640
<v Speaker 2>passed as quickly. Come on, Suki girl, we need you

0:11:40.679 --> 0:11:43.040
<v Speaker 2>to get a bit better at sleeping.

0:11:43.480 --> 0:11:45.840
<v Speaker 1>Honestly, you're like, you know it's going to pass, so

0:11:45.920 --> 0:11:48.760
<v Speaker 1>you have this hope, but then it still doesn't make

0:11:48.800 --> 0:11:51.440
<v Speaker 1>it much easier at all. Like the knowledge is there,

0:11:51.440 --> 0:11:54.599
<v Speaker 1>but it's still fucked. Like I just don't want to

0:11:54.640 --> 0:11:57.280
<v Speaker 1>scare anyone at home, because obviously it's I'm loving it.

0:11:57.360 --> 0:12:00.079
<v Speaker 1>I'm loving being among the second time around. But I

0:12:00.120 --> 0:12:02.679
<v Speaker 1>think it's also just the sickness, right, because I think

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.439
<v Speaker 1>rue was kind of the end of COVID, but everyone

0:12:05.520 --> 0:12:09.520
<v Speaker 1>was still really like it was still very careful. Yeah,

0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.280
<v Speaker 1>so we didn't get sick until she went to day care,

0:12:12.400 --> 0:12:15.120
<v Speaker 1>so anytime that there was a regression, and there was

0:12:15.160 --> 0:12:17.240
<v Speaker 1>never any sickness on top of that, you know, like

0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:20.520
<v Speaker 1>we were really healthy throughout. So it's just I think

0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:22.160
<v Speaker 1>compounding all the things at once.

0:12:22.360 --> 0:12:26.040
<v Speaker 2>It is the worst part about parenting when you're sick,

0:12:26.080 --> 0:12:29.839
<v Speaker 2>having to parent. It is just because it's you need

0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:32.560
<v Speaker 2>to be taken care of when you're sick. And also

0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:36.840
<v Speaker 2>you're not thinking about when when Rue was a baby. Yes,

0:12:36.880 --> 0:12:39.120
<v Speaker 2>you might not have been sick as much when she

0:12:39.240 --> 0:12:41.360
<v Speaker 2>was going through different things, but you also then didn't

0:12:41.360 --> 0:12:42.640
<v Speaker 2>have a todd light and you weren't working.

0:12:42.960 --> 0:12:45.040
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, exactly, exactly because you.

0:12:45.000 --> 0:12:48.240
<v Speaker 2>Took a year off, and yeah, you did not have

0:12:48.720 --> 0:12:51.120
<v Speaker 2>a toddler with lots of feelings racing around the house.

0:12:51.440 --> 0:12:55.760
<v Speaker 1>Oh one hundred. So that was my pit. Now let's

0:12:56.160 --> 0:12:58.240
<v Speaker 1>get a little bit of positivity in the air, shall we.

0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:02.640
<v Speaker 1>My peak was spending the morning baking and cooking in

0:13:02.720 --> 0:13:04.120
<v Speaker 1>my pajamas.

0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:05.840
<v Speaker 3>So, oh my god, you're so cute.

0:13:06.160 --> 0:13:09.240
<v Speaker 1>We had a long weekend and I got up early

0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.280
<v Speaker 1>because Charlie had been well not earlier. I just got

0:13:11.320 --> 0:13:14.440
<v Speaker 1>up with Rue, put Bluie on for her, and then

0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:16.720
<v Speaker 1>I was like, you know what, I could go and

0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:18.760
<v Speaker 1>sit on the couch and be on my phone, or

0:13:18.800 --> 0:13:21.480
<v Speaker 1>I could just make some stuff. And I had all

0:13:21.480 --> 0:13:24.720
<v Speaker 1>this stuff to make these like chocolate muffins at Rue

0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:27.079
<v Speaker 1>Love's and also I really wanted to make her lasagna

0:13:27.200 --> 0:13:30.640
<v Speaker 1>for dinners, and I was like, fuck it, I'm just

0:13:30.640 --> 0:13:33.760
<v Speaker 1>gonna cook in my pajamas. And that's what I did,

0:13:33.840 --> 0:13:36.080
<v Speaker 1>and I just had the best time. Like Rue was

0:13:36.679 --> 0:13:38.280
<v Speaker 1>like glued to the TV. I didn't have to worry

0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:42.440
<v Speaker 1>about her. Suki was I think with me, Yeah she was.

0:13:42.440 --> 0:13:44.560
<v Speaker 1>She was like in the bouncer, just chilling out, very

0:13:44.679 --> 0:13:47.520
<v Speaker 1>chilled and didn't really care. She was happy to just

0:13:47.559 --> 0:13:50.000
<v Speaker 1>to sit and watch what I was doing. But I

0:13:50.160 --> 0:13:53.360
<v Speaker 1>just love cooking so much. I've always loved it. I

0:13:53.400 --> 0:13:55.360
<v Speaker 1>don't get to do it as much or as often,

0:13:56.000 --> 0:13:59.040
<v Speaker 1>and it just having these little creations at the end

0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 1>they're so yummy. I don't know, it was just it

0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:02.280
<v Speaker 1>brought me so much joy.

0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.920
<v Speaker 2>And I like, I don't know, you have to drop

0:14:04.960 --> 0:14:07.280
<v Speaker 2>the recipe for the muffins because they looked you sent

0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:09.199
<v Speaker 2>me a photo or they looked so.

0:14:09.320 --> 0:14:10.160
<v Speaker 3>Juicy and yummy.

0:14:10.600 --> 0:14:13.680
<v Speaker 1>They're so good. They're from that baby food Bible. They're

0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:15.520
<v Speaker 1>not in the cookbook though, they're actually on their Instagram,

0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:17.040
<v Speaker 1>so I'll get the link and pop it in the

0:14:17.040 --> 0:14:19.680
<v Speaker 1>show notes. But my god, they're actually really good and

0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:23.320
<v Speaker 1>they've got like spinach and zucchini and them like healthy

0:14:23.440 --> 0:14:25.200
<v Speaker 1>chocolate muffins. You kind of been taste and they taste

0:14:25.280 --> 0:14:28.880
<v Speaker 1>fucking amazing. So yeah, yuh mu. It was the best

0:14:29.040 --> 0:14:31.280
<v Speaker 1>like morning, and then we saw our friends in the afternoon,

0:14:31.320 --> 0:14:33.880
<v Speaker 1>so it's just like a beautiful day and I really

0:14:33.920 --> 0:14:36.440
<v Speaker 1>needed that. I really needed like a little wind, you know.

0:14:36.960 --> 0:14:39.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, just a nice day where not everyone's fighting you,

0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:41.040
<v Speaker 2>including your own body.

0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:51.680
<v Speaker 4>And yeah, yeah, so to talk to me sometimes, Dolores,

0:14:52.320 --> 0:14:56.720
<v Speaker 4>sometimes you have to be a high rideing bitch to survive.

0:14:57.120 --> 0:15:01.080
<v Speaker 1>Okay, it's can I be a bit resector? So what

0:15:01.120 --> 0:15:02.920
<v Speaker 1>would you like to have a wee moan about today? Cal?

0:15:03.040 --> 0:15:05.800
<v Speaker 1>A reminder if you're new, every month we've taken in

0:15:05.880 --> 0:15:08.600
<v Speaker 1>turns to bitch about something whatever really that tickles our

0:15:08.640 --> 0:15:11.200
<v Speaker 1>fancy and we do that for sixty seconds and then

0:15:11.240 --> 0:15:14.400
<v Speaker 1>we both discuss Cal's up this week. Let's do it.

0:15:14.800 --> 0:15:19.080
<v Speaker 2>Let me get into it, as Len has gotten older,

0:15:19.400 --> 0:15:26.120
<v Speaker 2>I've shared less and less of him and his behaviors online.

0:15:26.240 --> 0:15:29.520
<v Speaker 2>Firstly because I think that, like, I really struggle sometimes

0:15:29.520 --> 0:15:33.880
<v Speaker 2>to differentiate between my experience as a mom and what

0:15:34.000 --> 0:15:38.680
<v Speaker 2>I can share without completely violating his experience because he

0:15:38.720 --> 0:15:40.560
<v Speaker 2>is a small person now, not a blob like when

0:15:40.560 --> 0:15:43.360
<v Speaker 2>he was a baby. Yeah, I probably overshared, but I'm like, eh,

0:15:43.400 --> 0:15:47.080
<v Speaker 2>you're a baby, You're not a person yet. Secondly, I

0:15:47.160 --> 0:15:51.600
<v Speaker 2>share less because anytime I do share, I know that

0:15:51.640 --> 0:15:54.840
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to cop at least a few dms from people.

0:15:54.920 --> 0:15:55.800
<v Speaker 3>They word it two ways.

0:15:55.800 --> 0:15:58.360
<v Speaker 2>They'll say a be really straight up and they go,

0:15:58.600 --> 0:16:01.520
<v Speaker 2>have you had him as assessed autism or be?

0:16:01.960 --> 0:16:03.120
<v Speaker 3>They'll insinuate as.

0:16:03.080 --> 0:16:05.920
<v Speaker 2>Much by being like, oh, Teddy did this all the

0:16:05.920 --> 0:16:08.160
<v Speaker 2>time when he was three. He turns out he's got

0:16:08.200 --> 0:16:13.720
<v Speaker 2>this hah. Sending solidarity and of course everyone means well. Like,

0:16:13.800 --> 0:16:17.760
<v Speaker 2>the community online is so beautiful and I'm very grateful,

0:16:18.520 --> 0:16:21.240
<v Speaker 2>and I think that it's lovely that people care and

0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:25.040
<v Speaker 2>that they're invested. But it's almost like being online removes

0:16:25.040 --> 0:16:28.360
<v Speaker 2>the general boundaries that we have in real life, because

0:16:28.360 --> 0:16:30.160
<v Speaker 2>I just don't know how many people would say to

0:16:30.200 --> 0:16:32.640
<v Speaker 2>someone in real life, especially someone that they don't know

0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:33.360
<v Speaker 2>at all.

0:16:34.000 --> 0:16:37.560
<v Speaker 3>Have you considered your child might be autistic? I have

0:16:37.680 --> 0:16:38.600
<v Speaker 3>people close to.

0:16:38.480 --> 0:16:41.080
<v Speaker 2>Me in my real life that I've wondered about different

0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.520
<v Speaker 2>things with their kids, but I would never actually say

0:16:43.520 --> 0:16:47.040
<v Speaker 2>anything because it's not my place. I'm not an expert,

0:16:47.120 --> 0:16:51.960
<v Speaker 2>and if I've noticed something, I'm sure that the parent has.

0:16:51.800 --> 0:16:52.560
<v Speaker 3>Of the child.

0:16:52.960 --> 0:16:57.200
<v Speaker 2>And I wonder if because we as a generation weren't

0:16:57.240 --> 0:17:00.440
<v Speaker 2>diagnosed with anything and so where or being not all

0:17:00.480 --> 0:17:03.119
<v Speaker 2>of this, but a lot of us have been diagnosed

0:17:03.120 --> 0:17:06.240
<v Speaker 2>with things as an adult. It's like we're overcompensating by

0:17:06.320 --> 0:17:08.639
<v Speaker 2>overdiagnosing everyone with everything.

0:17:09.080 --> 0:17:12.399
<v Speaker 3>Like, at the end of the day, he's three.

0:17:12.119 --> 0:17:16.679
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, he's three, Yeah, he's three. I've been kind of

0:17:16.760 --> 0:17:19.960
<v Speaker 1>dying to talk about this because the parasocial relationships that

0:17:19.960 --> 0:17:23.520
<v Speaker 1>we have on social media. For some reason, it baffles

0:17:23.560 --> 0:17:27.600
<v Speaker 1>me because people feel completely comfortable saying something that should

0:17:27.600 --> 0:17:30.720
<v Speaker 1>be quietly said in their mind out loud, Like, sure,

0:17:30.840 --> 0:17:33.280
<v Speaker 1>you can think things. I think. The mind wanders and

0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:36.919
<v Speaker 1>you can't obviously control what your mind thinks and questions,

0:17:37.240 --> 0:17:39.320
<v Speaker 1>but at the end of the day, just let that

0:17:39.400 --> 0:17:41.760
<v Speaker 1>be a thought. You don't need that thought to become

0:17:41.840 --> 0:17:45.320
<v Speaker 1>an opinion or advice however well meaning it is, and

0:17:45.560 --> 0:17:48.000
<v Speaker 1>like you never know someone else's struggle. I guarantee ten

0:17:48.040 --> 0:17:51.320
<v Speaker 1>out of ten a parent of a child has already

0:17:51.359 --> 0:17:55.199
<v Speaker 1>thought about possibly exploring something that you've noticed because you

0:17:55.240 --> 0:17:57.359
<v Speaker 1>are with your child. Twenty four seven. Like, I was

0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:59.520
<v Speaker 1>in a situation where I noticed something about a friend's

0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:02.439
<v Speaker 1>child said one thing. Found out much later. They were

0:18:02.520 --> 0:18:04.080
<v Speaker 1>very concerned about it and had been doing all the

0:18:04.080 --> 0:18:06.239
<v Speaker 1>good things. I was so glad I didn't say anything, like,

0:18:06.359 --> 0:18:08.600
<v Speaker 1>who was I to say something? Of course, I've noticed,

0:18:08.640 --> 0:18:09.320
<v Speaker 1>do you know what I mean?

0:18:09.640 --> 0:18:13.439
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, although now I'm just thinking about one. So my

0:18:14.040 --> 0:18:17.000
<v Speaker 2>girlfriend and her husband, they're a nurse and doctor, noticed

0:18:17.000 --> 0:18:19.159
<v Speaker 2>a turn in Lenny's eye and said something to me

0:18:19.200 --> 0:18:19.639
<v Speaker 2>about it.

0:18:20.040 --> 0:18:21.800
<v Speaker 3>I hadn't noticed that.

0:18:21.440 --> 0:18:23.920
<v Speaker 1>That is like a medical thing, and.

0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:26.560
<v Speaker 2>They are in the medical profession. And the only reason

0:18:26.600 --> 0:18:29.520
<v Speaker 2>they noticed it or said anything was because two out

0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.800
<v Speaker 2>of three of their kids had the turn and it

0:18:32.840 --> 0:18:35.359
<v Speaker 2>was affecting their eyesight long term. So they were like,

0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:37.240
<v Speaker 2>if you get on top of it anyway, it turns

0:18:37.280 --> 0:18:38.600
<v Speaker 2>out his eyes actually fine.

0:18:39.080 --> 0:18:41.280
<v Speaker 3>But I appreciated knowing that.

0:18:41.600 --> 0:18:44.639
<v Speaker 1>I think it's important to differentiate between something like a

0:18:44.680 --> 0:18:48.320
<v Speaker 1>physical ailment that someone may not have noticed. Like very famously,

0:18:48.359 --> 0:18:50.080
<v Speaker 1>there are always people who are on TV who are

0:18:50.119 --> 0:18:52.720
<v Speaker 1>like I was on reality TV and all of these

0:18:52.800 --> 0:18:55.840
<v Speaker 1>nurses reached out to me and said, like, the little

0:18:55.880 --> 0:18:58.080
<v Speaker 1>nodules on my neck looked big and that maybe I

0:18:58.160 --> 0:18:59.800
<v Speaker 1>needed to go and get that checked. And it turns

0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:01.360
<v Speaker 1>out that that celebrity, what.

0:19:01.400 --> 0:19:03.040
<v Speaker 3>Is it with you and next nodules?

0:19:03.240 --> 0:19:03.440
<v Speaker 4>Key?

0:19:03.640 --> 0:19:06.280
<v Speaker 1>Honestly, they're following me around, don't they. It's so funny.

0:19:06.720 --> 0:19:08.840
<v Speaker 1>But these people have said that they've ended up having

0:19:08.840 --> 0:19:10.199
<v Speaker 1>to go and get them out because they were like

0:19:10.240 --> 0:19:13.720
<v Speaker 1>pre cancerous whatever. So that is helpful, right, But I

0:19:13.720 --> 0:19:18.120
<v Speaker 1>think it's when you're like doing sweeping diagnosis of people's

0:19:18.200 --> 0:19:20.800
<v Speaker 1>kids when you haven't met them and you do not

0:19:20.840 --> 0:19:22.920
<v Speaker 1>have any qualification to do so. I know that you

0:19:22.960 --> 0:19:27.520
<v Speaker 1>may have lived experience, but calling someone some possibly autistic,

0:19:27.880 --> 0:19:29.720
<v Speaker 1>maybe just think that in your head and don't say

0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:30.600
<v Speaker 1>it out loud. I don't know.

0:19:31.160 --> 0:19:34.040
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I do know that people mean well, like there's

0:19:34.080 --> 0:19:39.119
<v Speaker 2>not a malicious intent behind anyone's messages or comments, but

0:19:39.960 --> 0:19:40.720
<v Speaker 2>like he's.

0:19:40.640 --> 0:19:43.720
<v Speaker 3>Three and I share tiny little bits of him.

0:19:43.880 --> 0:19:44.480
<v Speaker 1>Yeah.

0:19:44.520 --> 0:19:51.240
<v Speaker 2>I also feel like the whole wording around AHHD and autism,

0:19:51.280 --> 0:19:55.560
<v Speaker 2>calling it a diagnosis when it's not an ailment, and

0:19:55.640 --> 0:19:58.080
<v Speaker 2>I know there's no other way to word it.

0:19:58.480 --> 0:19:59.200
<v Speaker 3>I just think that.

0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:02.800
<v Speaker 2>We're in this world where everyone is just so keen

0:20:02.840 --> 0:20:08.159
<v Speaker 2>to over diagnose everyone with everything, and we're not really

0:20:08.240 --> 0:20:12.560
<v Speaker 2>letting kids just actually develop, maybe at different rates to

0:20:12.640 --> 0:20:17.760
<v Speaker 2>each other, maybe with stronger reactions or more sensitivities to

0:20:17.800 --> 0:20:19.879
<v Speaker 2>other kids. Like all of a sudden, we have to

0:20:19.960 --> 0:20:24.199
<v Speaker 2>label everyone without just letting them be kids for a while.

0:20:24.720 --> 0:20:27.360
<v Speaker 2>I'll be having conversations with people and they'll be like, oh, yeah,

0:20:27.359 --> 0:20:29.680
<v Speaker 2>I'm getting my kids assessed, and they're like.

0:20:29.640 --> 0:20:32.560
<v Speaker 3>Two, yeah, Like your job is too.

0:20:33.119 --> 0:20:38.320
<v Speaker 2>Obviously, there are caveats to that, so say they're significantly delayed,

0:20:38.400 --> 0:20:42.360
<v Speaker 2>maybe you're pediatrician or GP has said hey, maybe go

0:20:42.440 --> 0:20:46.879
<v Speaker 2>get this checked or whatnot. But just because you think

0:20:46.920 --> 0:20:50.879
<v Speaker 2>that they're not reaching milestones as quickly as other people,

0:20:51.040 --> 0:20:54.359
<v Speaker 2>or that they're having more intense reactions to different things,

0:20:54.760 --> 0:20:56.639
<v Speaker 2>I just think that that's a spectrum of being on

0:20:56.680 --> 0:20:57.159
<v Speaker 2>a toddler.

0:20:57.359 --> 0:21:00.919
<v Speaker 3>Some kids have real big feelings and some kids don't

0:21:01.040 --> 0:21:02.160
<v Speaker 3>have as many big feelings.

0:21:02.200 --> 0:21:07.480
<v Speaker 2>But that doesn't automatically mean that your child is autistic.

0:21:07.680 --> 0:21:10.760
<v Speaker 2>And I do think that kids are getting over diagnosed.

0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:14.040
<v Speaker 2>I am so sorry if I word something wrong. But

0:21:14.960 --> 0:21:18.199
<v Speaker 2>so my brother worked for the ndies and someone I

0:21:18.320 --> 0:21:21.720
<v Speaker 2>know went and had their kid assessed, and I was

0:21:21.880 --> 0:21:24.200
<v Speaker 2>very shocked because I just thought their kid was displaying

0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:28.200
<v Speaker 2>very average toddler behavior obviously though they know their child

0:21:28.240 --> 0:21:30.080
<v Speaker 2>better than anyone else, and they went and got the

0:21:30.160 --> 0:21:32.280
<v Speaker 2>child assessed, and the child was assessed.

0:21:31.920 --> 0:21:34.240
<v Speaker 3>At a level two, which is quite severe.

0:21:34.800 --> 0:21:38.120
<v Speaker 2>But then I was asking my brother and he was saying, oh, yeah,

0:21:38.119 --> 0:21:41.240
<v Speaker 2>they actually all put someone onto the next level so

0:21:41.280 --> 0:21:43.920
<v Speaker 2>that that person gets more support, which is great if

0:21:43.960 --> 0:21:47.960
<v Speaker 2>people need different support. But then because an autism diagnosis

0:21:48.040 --> 0:21:52.439
<v Speaker 2>isn't a small thing, and it would really sort of

0:21:52.560 --> 0:21:57.240
<v Speaker 2>change the complete trajectory of the way that our life

0:21:57.320 --> 0:22:01.679
<v Speaker 2>as a parent and his life. And I haven't talked

0:22:01.680 --> 0:22:05.600
<v Speaker 2>about my own diagnosis.

0:22:04.840 --> 0:22:06.760
<v Speaker 3>Publicly because I don't think it's that interesting.

0:22:06.960 --> 0:22:09.600
<v Speaker 2>And I think, like as I said at the top,

0:22:09.840 --> 0:22:13.480
<v Speaker 2>none of us were diagnosed with things as kids, so

0:22:13.720 --> 0:22:17.000
<v Speaker 2>a lot of people are getting diagnosed with different things

0:22:17.200 --> 0:22:20.800
<v Speaker 2>as they get older. So then I do argue with

0:22:20.880 --> 0:22:24.960
<v Speaker 2>myself because I understand that the research has shown that

0:22:25.000 --> 0:22:28.880
<v Speaker 2>early diagnosis can lead to then early intervention, which can

0:22:28.920 --> 0:22:32.679
<v Speaker 2>significantly improve your child's development and quality of life, and

0:22:32.800 --> 0:22:37.320
<v Speaker 2>also helps a parent understand their child's behavior and find

0:22:37.920 --> 0:22:41.679
<v Speaker 2>more effective strategies to support them. Because with the arguing

0:22:41.720 --> 0:22:43.760
<v Speaker 2>with myself, on the one hand, I'll be like, I'm

0:22:43.800 --> 0:22:45.800
<v Speaker 2>such a boomer, I'm so my father, I'll be like,

0:22:46.080 --> 0:22:49.280
<v Speaker 2>bunch of bloody snowflakes, look at me. I turned out fine.

0:22:49.920 --> 0:22:52.560
<v Speaker 2>But then I think about it, and I think about

0:22:53.119 --> 0:22:56.600
<v Speaker 2>how angry I still am that no one ever picked

0:22:56.680 --> 0:22:59.199
<v Speaker 2>up on different signs with me, and how much I

0:22:59.240 --> 0:23:04.120
<v Speaker 2>still am struggling to figure things out, and how much

0:23:04.160 --> 0:23:07.680
<v Speaker 2>a diagnosis might have helped with things like when teachers

0:23:08.320 --> 0:23:10.320
<v Speaker 2>like they could have given me a separate area or

0:23:10.359 --> 0:23:14.280
<v Speaker 2>headphones for exams rather than me stuffing tissues in my

0:23:14.400 --> 0:23:16.880
<v Speaker 2>ears and not being able to finish an exam because

0:23:16.920 --> 0:23:18.680
<v Speaker 2>I was like rocking in my seat, crying because I

0:23:18.680 --> 0:23:21.720
<v Speaker 2>couldn't concentrate when there was a clock ticking or someone

0:23:21.840 --> 0:23:24.879
<v Speaker 2>was sniffing. And it might have helped my dad to

0:23:24.920 --> 0:23:28.159
<v Speaker 2>know that I wasn't being as spoilt brat as he

0:23:28.200 --> 0:23:31.880
<v Speaker 2>thought when I was like, I can't drink from these

0:23:31.920 --> 0:23:34.119
<v Speaker 2>different water bottles and then I would faint at netball

0:23:34.200 --> 0:23:37.439
<v Speaker 2>because I was so dehydrated because he'd still pack me

0:23:37.480 --> 0:23:39.840
<v Speaker 2>one anyway, and I'd be like, I'm not drinking from

0:23:39.880 --> 0:23:42.119
<v Speaker 2>that one, and then I'd faint because I simply could

0:23:42.119 --> 0:23:45.680
<v Speaker 2>not drink out of that vessel. I spent my entire

0:23:45.680 --> 0:23:49.000
<v Speaker 2>life thinking that that was sort of perfectly normal behavior.

0:23:49.720 --> 0:23:52.360
<v Speaker 2>And I mean I still do in a way, because

0:23:52.400 --> 0:23:55.560
<v Speaker 2>I still can't drink from different vessels and would rather

0:23:55.920 --> 0:23:59.680
<v Speaker 2>be dehydrated than do so. But on the one hand, yes,

0:23:59.760 --> 0:24:01.679
<v Speaker 2>it have helped me so much, But then on the

0:24:01.720 --> 0:24:05.040
<v Speaker 2>other hand, I just feel like we're sort of overcoddling

0:24:05.119 --> 0:24:07.480
<v Speaker 2>people because I still turned out just fine.

0:24:07.400 --> 0:24:12.400
<v Speaker 1>Well questionable. Now I'm just kidding, well, I think, well,

0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:15.280
<v Speaker 1>as you're saying this, like, I think that obviously the

0:24:15.359 --> 0:24:19.560
<v Speaker 1>trend is women in their thirties and older being diagnosed

0:24:19.600 --> 0:24:23.200
<v Speaker 1>with something like ADHD. That's a massive trend because historically,

0:24:23.240 --> 0:24:25.400
<v Speaker 1>we know, like when we were growing up, they only

0:24:25.440 --> 0:24:27.919
<v Speaker 1>thought boys had ADHD, and the way in which it

0:24:27.960 --> 0:24:30.359
<v Speaker 1>presents the boys is completely different to girls, is what

0:24:30.400 --> 0:24:33.560
<v Speaker 1>I understand. And I am not speaking from experience. I'm

0:24:33.600 --> 0:24:36.720
<v Speaker 1>speaking from what I've heard from different people and their

0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:39.080
<v Speaker 1>diagnosis and their kids and things like that. But I

0:24:39.080 --> 0:24:43.440
<v Speaker 1>don't think it's a mistake that the generation who were

0:24:44.200 --> 0:24:48.640
<v Speaker 1>underdiagnosed are having kids and that generation of kids are

0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:52.679
<v Speaker 1>now somewhat overdiagnosed, because I think that we are so

0:24:52.920 --> 0:24:56.480
<v Speaker 1>angry about the fact that we didn't have the opportunity

0:24:56.800 --> 0:24:59.520
<v Speaker 1>to have the tools that we may have needed, that

0:24:59.680 --> 0:25:01.119
<v Speaker 1>there is not a world that we want to live

0:25:01.160 --> 0:25:03.560
<v Speaker 1>in in which we don't want our kids to have

0:25:03.800 --> 0:25:06.719
<v Speaker 1>not have to worry about that. So I understand like

0:25:06.880 --> 0:25:09.879
<v Speaker 1>what you're saying, but I think it's honestly a director

0:25:09.880 --> 0:25:12.960
<v Speaker 1>reaction to the fact that we're a generation that of

0:25:13.040 --> 0:25:17.040
<v Speaker 1>women who really struggled with things like ADHD and not

0:25:17.119 --> 0:25:18.200
<v Speaker 1>knowing that we had them.

0:25:18.400 --> 0:25:21.679
<v Speaker 2>And I think that that also probably has because the

0:25:21.720 --> 0:25:25.800
<v Speaker 2>thing with autism ADHD, if someone in your family does

0:25:25.840 --> 0:25:27.919
<v Speaker 2>have it, like it's more likely that you have it

0:25:28.000 --> 0:25:29.080
<v Speaker 2>if your parent does.

0:25:29.600 --> 0:25:31.879
<v Speaker 1>Yeah, exactly, exactly, Yeah.

0:25:31.480 --> 0:25:33.760
<v Speaker 2>Like I always make jokes now to my dad, I'm

0:25:33.840 --> 0:25:38.320
<v Speaker 2>like you and you're undiagnosed at AHD, Like he's hyperfixations

0:25:38.359 --> 0:25:44.160
<v Speaker 2>and little idiosyncrasies. But it worries me and I also

0:25:44.359 --> 0:25:50.080
<v Speaker 2>just feel so upset on behalf of len because I

0:25:50.160 --> 0:25:52.880
<v Speaker 2>probably just get triggered when people say something like it's

0:25:52.920 --> 0:25:55.080
<v Speaker 2>always water off a duck's back. But I probably do

0:25:55.119 --> 0:25:57.560
<v Speaker 2>get a little bit triggered because I don't want him

0:25:57.880 --> 0:26:01.919
<v Speaker 2>to have autism, because I don't want him to have

0:26:02.000 --> 0:26:03.280
<v Speaker 2>to struggle with things.

0:26:03.440 --> 0:26:07.480
<v Speaker 3>And when I see the shyness and.

0:26:07.520 --> 0:26:11.680
<v Speaker 2>The way that he reacts to different things and the extreme,

0:26:12.280 --> 0:26:17.080
<v Speaker 2>extreme moods, I do see so much of myself. But

0:26:17.720 --> 0:26:22.439
<v Speaker 2>I have found just simple things so hard my entire life.

0:26:22.440 --> 0:26:25.600
<v Speaker 2>But I did just think that that was normal until

0:26:25.720 --> 0:26:28.280
<v Speaker 2>getting to an adult and figure out other people don't

0:26:28.320 --> 0:26:30.960
<v Speaker 2>actually feel like that. They don't need to stick straws

0:26:31.000 --> 0:26:33.280
<v Speaker 2>out of the car windows because they're so upset about

0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.440
<v Speaker 2>breathing in the same area as other people. Knowing that

0:26:36.480 --> 0:26:39.000
<v Speaker 2>makes it worse because I'm like, I don't want him

0:26:39.440 --> 0:26:42.119
<v Speaker 2>to find it hard to live in a world with

0:26:42.920 --> 0:26:47.800
<v Speaker 2>neurotypical people that don't understand. Even in a world that

0:26:48.000 --> 0:26:53.240
<v Speaker 2>is more understanding, everything is just so much harder for

0:26:53.320 --> 0:26:56.080
<v Speaker 2>different people, And yeah, I just don't want that for him.

0:26:56.240 --> 0:26:58.359
<v Speaker 2>A couple of weeks ago, I was chatting to a

0:26:58.400 --> 0:27:02.399
<v Speaker 2>colleague and she was saying her teenage son had his

0:27:02.520 --> 0:27:04.920
<v Speaker 2>very first lumber party for his birthday at his house

0:27:04.960 --> 0:27:07.400
<v Speaker 2>and she goes, oh, my goodness, you couldn't even imagine

0:27:07.440 --> 0:27:10.040
<v Speaker 2>just a huge bunch of twelve and thirteen year old

0:27:10.080 --> 0:27:13.280
<v Speaker 2>boys ninety percent of them are on ADHD meds And

0:27:13.320 --> 0:27:18.760
<v Speaker 2>I'm like, really, I'm surely they don't all need like

0:27:18.840 --> 0:27:23.000
<v Speaker 2>that is a serious drug. Where are we failing that

0:27:23.119 --> 0:27:25.960
<v Speaker 2>badly that all of these kids need to be on

0:27:26.080 --> 0:27:29.639
<v Speaker 2>such a hard drug, Like, surely not all of the

0:27:29.760 --> 0:27:32.120
<v Speaker 2>kids need to be on those meds. And if they

0:27:32.160 --> 0:27:34.919
<v Speaker 2>really do, maybe then we need to actually look at

0:27:34.920 --> 0:27:38.840
<v Speaker 2>the education system and how it hasn't changed in decades

0:27:38.920 --> 0:27:41.280
<v Speaker 2>despite so much change.

0:27:40.960 --> 0:27:43.640
<v Speaker 3>In media in the way that we absorb everything.

0:27:43.240 --> 0:27:47.960
<v Speaker 2>And that our own constant need for dopamine hits and like,

0:27:48.280 --> 0:27:50.520
<v Speaker 2>is it the kids or is it actually the system?

0:27:50.560 --> 0:27:52.280
<v Speaker 3>Because I would say that it's the system.

0:27:52.560 --> 0:27:55.080
<v Speaker 1>I was reading something about are we over diagnosing? And

0:27:55.080 --> 0:27:57.280
<v Speaker 1>it was like a study that someone said that it

0:27:57.400 --> 0:27:59.720
<v Speaker 1>proved that they were. And then the way in which

0:27:59.720 --> 0:28:03.040
<v Speaker 1>we does diagnos the lower threshold to get into it

0:28:03.119 --> 0:28:07.399
<v Speaker 1>is actually reasonably easy, like if you display some characteristics

0:28:07.400 --> 0:28:09.840
<v Speaker 1>of whatever thing that you may think your child may have.

0:28:10.480 --> 0:28:11.879
<v Speaker 1>And the reason they do that, right is because they

0:28:11.880 --> 0:28:14.320
<v Speaker 1>don't want to miss anyone who is struggling they want

0:28:14.359 --> 0:28:15.720
<v Speaker 1>to be able to help them. But what it also

0:28:16.359 --> 0:28:18.639
<v Speaker 1>means is like the approach that then has taken to

0:28:18.720 --> 0:28:22.280
<v Speaker 1>treat that person is almost the same as treating someone

0:28:22.320 --> 0:28:27.880
<v Speaker 1>who is scoring higher within that diagnosis. So I think

0:28:27.920 --> 0:28:30.560
<v Speaker 1>what needs to actually happen. And I'm speaking from a

0:28:30.560 --> 0:28:32.840
<v Speaker 1>place of no experience, so again I'm going to apologize

0:28:32.880 --> 0:28:35.560
<v Speaker 1>as well, but I'm just what I've read and what

0:28:35.600 --> 0:28:38.000
<v Speaker 1>that person said resonated with me is that we need

0:28:38.040 --> 0:28:41.680
<v Speaker 1>to be investing more in occupational therapists who can help

0:28:41.720 --> 0:28:45.160
<v Speaker 1>people maybe on that lower end and that may still

0:28:45.160 --> 0:28:48.520
<v Speaker 1>be able to navigate life without you know, more of

0:28:48.560 --> 0:28:53.120
<v Speaker 1>the intense ways of support that we see and kids

0:28:53.160 --> 0:28:56.320
<v Speaker 1>that maybe have higher needs. So I thought that that

0:28:56.440 --> 0:28:59.160
<v Speaker 1>was really interesting. I think it does come down to

0:28:59.200 --> 0:29:00.920
<v Speaker 1>because I thought you made me think of that then

0:29:00.960 --> 0:29:03.080
<v Speaker 1>when you said about schooling and how it hasn't changed,

0:29:03.080 --> 0:29:06.240
<v Speaker 1>and it's like, maybe the way in which we are

0:29:06.280 --> 0:29:09.320
<v Speaker 1>diagnosing kids hasn't changed in forever, and maybe that needs

0:29:09.360 --> 0:29:12.520
<v Speaker 1>to actually be looked at and re examined, because if

0:29:12.520 --> 0:29:15.520
<v Speaker 1>you are just sweeping all these kids into one box

0:29:16.120 --> 0:29:18.240
<v Speaker 1>and being like this is how we're going to treat them,

0:29:18.840 --> 0:29:21.480
<v Speaker 1>that might not be the best way forward, like maybe

0:29:21.600 --> 0:29:24.880
<v Speaker 1>other kids would thrive with a different and maybe a

0:29:24.880 --> 0:29:27.200
<v Speaker 1>bit of a softer approach, but again that's down to

0:29:27.280 --> 0:29:31.240
<v Speaker 1>resources and funding, which we know historically isn't great.

0:29:31.560 --> 0:29:35.000
<v Speaker 2>I'm aware that neither of us have school aged children,

0:29:35.040 --> 0:29:37.440
<v Speaker 2>and other of us have had to live through a

0:29:37.520 --> 0:29:39.959
<v Speaker 2>child not being able to concentrate at school or anything.

0:29:40.000 --> 0:29:42.600
<v Speaker 2>So please take this with a grain of salt, like

0:29:42.640 --> 0:29:45.120
<v Speaker 2>this is just us having a conversation in real time.

0:29:45.360 --> 0:29:47.960
<v Speaker 1>I myself have medicated, and I have been medicated since

0:29:48.000 --> 0:29:50.520
<v Speaker 1>a teenager. Yeah, yeah, been on and it depresses my

0:29:50.560 --> 0:29:53.920
<v Speaker 1>whole life. So I am pro meds. I have been, like,

0:29:53.960 --> 0:29:56.479
<v Speaker 1>that's the one thing I think that has really saved

0:29:56.520 --> 0:30:00.600
<v Speaker 1>me throughout my adolescence and into my adulthood has been medicated,

0:30:00.640 --> 0:30:02.800
<v Speaker 1>having a psychologist that I see. So in no way

0:30:02.840 --> 0:30:05.040
<v Speaker 1>do I think that you shouldn't do that for your child,

0:30:05.080 --> 0:30:06.480
<v Speaker 1>if that's what it needs to be. I think it's

0:30:06.520 --> 0:30:09.520
<v Speaker 1>just like opening up the question of what else can

0:30:09.560 --> 0:30:12.000
<v Speaker 1>we do to help support kids that maybe don't need

0:30:12.040 --> 0:30:15.240
<v Speaker 1>to go that route, or help parents to understand what

0:30:15.320 --> 0:30:18.280
<v Speaker 1>they can even do, or even me as like supporting

0:30:18.280 --> 0:30:20.400
<v Speaker 1>a friend like I've got no idea like if a

0:30:20.440 --> 0:30:22.160
<v Speaker 1>friend was to turn around and say, the kid got

0:30:22.200 --> 0:30:24.160
<v Speaker 1>a diagnosis, I'd have to go out and figure out,

0:30:24.200 --> 0:30:26.600
<v Speaker 1>like how can I support them? I don't want them

0:30:26.600 --> 0:30:28.160
<v Speaker 1>to be on that journey alone, you know.

0:30:28.440 --> 0:30:30.040
<v Speaker 3>But is it a journey?

0:30:30.520 --> 0:30:33.760
<v Speaker 2>This is the thing, like, of course if they're on

0:30:33.840 --> 0:30:37.560
<v Speaker 2>the severe end of the spectrum, but if it's like

0:30:37.600 --> 0:30:40.360
<v Speaker 2>a level one diagnosis, like, is there anything that you

0:30:40.400 --> 0:30:42.800
<v Speaker 2>can really do? Maybe it's more like a sensory thing

0:30:42.880 --> 0:30:46.040
<v Speaker 2>and not, you know, teach your kid that it's okay

0:30:46.120 --> 0:30:49.600
<v Speaker 2>that other kids might be upset about loud noises or

0:30:50.120 --> 0:30:53.719
<v Speaker 2>you know, darkness or whatnot. And on that note, I

0:30:53.760 --> 0:30:56.800
<v Speaker 2>do want the best for Lenny, but he's three years old.

0:30:57.080 --> 0:30:58.920
<v Speaker 2>Please stop telling me he's autistic.

0:31:03.760 --> 0:31:04.120
<v Speaker 3>Okay.

0:31:04.440 --> 0:31:09.560
<v Speaker 2>My first recommendation is actually a recommendation from a shitter.

0:31:10.240 --> 0:31:14.320
<v Speaker 2>This literally gave me my whole body goosebumps. It is

0:31:14.400 --> 0:31:16.920
<v Speaker 2>so good. So I'm just gonna play it directly from

0:31:17.240 --> 0:31:18.400
<v Speaker 2>the mum that sent it in.

0:31:18.680 --> 0:31:20.120
<v Speaker 5>Hey, I just wanted to say something that I think

0:31:20.120 --> 0:31:21.680
<v Speaker 5>would be really cool for you guys to mention on

0:31:21.760 --> 0:31:24.520
<v Speaker 5>your podcast. At one point on Saturday night, I went

0:31:24.560 --> 0:31:27.680
<v Speaker 5>to a like a food market with my toddler, A

0:31:27.760 --> 0:31:31.480
<v Speaker 5>newborn and some friends and my toddler, my three year

0:31:31.520 --> 0:31:35.200
<v Speaker 5>old boy Sonny is a runner like we've lost him

0:31:35.200 --> 0:31:39.240
<v Speaker 5>on numerous occasions. It's actually pretty shocking. But on Friday,

0:31:39.360 --> 0:31:42.200
<v Speaker 5>we went to this market. My toddler jumped on the

0:31:42.280 --> 0:31:46.200
<v Speaker 5>jumping castle, which was fenced around the jumping castle. There

0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:48.080
<v Speaker 5>was four of us, me and my husband and two

0:31:48.080 --> 0:31:51.000
<v Speaker 5>friends watching him jumping. We must have taken our eyes

0:31:51.040 --> 0:31:52.720
<v Speaker 5>off him for a second. We looked back at the

0:31:52.800 --> 0:31:55.600
<v Speaker 5>jumping castle. We couldn't see him, but everyone thought, oh,

0:31:55.600 --> 0:31:59.160
<v Speaker 5>he's just around the corner behind the inflatable bits, and

0:31:59.160 --> 0:32:01.240
<v Speaker 5>so kept talking and I was like, no, no, no, I

0:32:01.280 --> 0:32:03.800
<v Speaker 5>know this kid. I walked over. He was gone. Honestly,

0:32:03.800 --> 0:32:06.320
<v Speaker 5>we lost him for about, oh my god, it fore

0:32:06.440 --> 0:32:08.960
<v Speaker 5>like three hours. But in them at night, so it

0:32:09.000 --> 0:32:11.800
<v Speaker 5>was pitch black. But markets so you know, lots of

0:32:11.840 --> 0:32:15.560
<v Speaker 5>like bright areas and stuff. My girlfriend switched into gear.

0:32:15.640 --> 0:32:17.360
<v Speaker 5>I do not know how she knew to do this,

0:32:18.040 --> 0:32:23.280
<v Speaker 5>but she just started screaming, yellow jacket, red stars, lost boy,

0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:26.680
<v Speaker 5>yellow jacket, red stars. And I'm not kidding. As I

0:32:26.760 --> 0:32:30.360
<v Speaker 5>was frantically screaming running around this market, these markets looking

0:32:30.360 --> 0:32:34.800
<v Speaker 5>for him, I had women passing me screaming yellowjacket, red stars,

0:32:34.880 --> 0:32:37.840
<v Speaker 5>and like it was goosebumps even thinking about it. But

0:32:37.880 --> 0:32:39.920
<v Speaker 5>it was the most incredible thing, and he was found

0:32:39.960 --> 0:32:43.280
<v Speaker 5>within like five minutes, but like you know, I had, honestly,

0:32:43.280 --> 0:32:46.680
<v Speaker 5>it felt like fifty women running past me screaming my

0:32:46.840 --> 0:32:47.440
<v Speaker 5>boy's clothes.

0:32:47.480 --> 0:32:50.080
<v Speaker 6>At one point we had a bit of an issue

0:32:50.120 --> 0:32:52.120
<v Speaker 6>where a lady came up to be saying he's been found.

0:32:52.200 --> 0:32:54.840
<v Speaker 6>That girl over there has him, and I run back

0:32:54.840 --> 0:32:57.480
<v Speaker 6>and it was my girlfriend who was still screaming what

0:32:57.560 --> 0:32:58.200
<v Speaker 6>he was wearing.

0:32:58.280 --> 0:33:01.360
<v Speaker 5>But I have never seen anything like it. I can't

0:33:01.360 --> 0:33:04.440
<v Speaker 5>thank my friend enough for jumping into gear like that,

0:33:04.520 --> 0:33:07.000
<v Speaker 5>because it was just me and my husband left our

0:33:07.040 --> 0:33:10.280
<v Speaker 5>newborn in the pram and just sprinted around this huge

0:33:10.320 --> 0:33:12.960
<v Speaker 5>market and we didn't have a hope in hell because

0:33:12.960 --> 0:33:14.800
<v Speaker 5>it was just a needle in a haystack next to

0:33:14.840 --> 0:33:17.760
<v Speaker 5>a park, next to a like river water canal thing

0:33:18.320 --> 0:33:21.240
<v Speaker 5>on a main road like anyway. I just thought so

0:33:21.640 --> 0:33:24.240
<v Speaker 5>long winded, and my baby's crying. But I think it

0:33:24.240 --> 0:33:26.400
<v Speaker 5>would be amazing for you just to mention that anyone

0:33:26.440 --> 0:33:29.960
<v Speaker 5>that has toddlers that are runners to just start screaming

0:33:30.000 --> 0:33:32.320
<v Speaker 5>we've lost him before. And I haven't been so lucky

0:33:32.360 --> 0:33:34.360
<v Speaker 5>to have someone standing next to me to jump into

0:33:34.360 --> 0:33:34.920
<v Speaker 5>gear like that.

0:33:35.480 --> 0:33:37.040
<v Speaker 3>Do you have goosebumps?

0:33:37.040 --> 0:33:41.640
<v Speaker 2>Such a simple but effective, amazing hack. I just feel

0:33:41.680 --> 0:33:45.120
<v Speaker 2>like every everyone should know that hack. Like even if

0:33:45.160 --> 0:33:47.680
<v Speaker 2>you don't have a runner, you don't have kids, knowing

0:33:47.720 --> 0:33:50.560
<v Speaker 2>that hack could help you find someone else's kid. And

0:33:50.640 --> 0:33:55.480
<v Speaker 2>my other recommendation is short stories, like for adults. I mean,

0:33:55.520 --> 0:33:58.080
<v Speaker 2>these are for you, not for your kids. Obviously, I

0:33:58.120 --> 0:34:00.920
<v Speaker 2>love to read, and I'm really short stories at the

0:34:00.960 --> 0:34:06.600
<v Speaker 2>moment because my problem is that I it's both expensive

0:34:06.640 --> 0:34:09.120
<v Speaker 2>and very time consuming because I will completely have a

0:34:09.200 --> 0:34:14.080
<v Speaker 2>fixate on a book or audio book and that's all

0:34:14.120 --> 0:34:16.440
<v Speaker 2>I can sort of do or concentrate on until it's finished.

0:34:17.280 --> 0:34:21.560
<v Speaker 3>So with short stories, it's a few hours, so.

0:34:21.520 --> 0:34:23.840
<v Speaker 2>It's like kind of perfect for the end of the

0:34:23.920 --> 0:34:26.239
<v Speaker 2>day nighttime, Like it's kind of like just watching a

0:34:26.280 --> 0:34:28.200
<v Speaker 2>couple of shows at nighttime instead you're reading a.

0:34:28.160 --> 0:34:29.279
<v Speaker 3>Little short story book.

0:34:29.719 --> 0:34:34.400
<v Speaker 2>But a lot of authors actually do special ones, like

0:34:34.480 --> 0:34:36.759
<v Speaker 2>there'll be Amazon exclusives.

0:34:36.840 --> 0:34:38.360
<v Speaker 3>You can download them on your kindle.

0:34:38.680 --> 0:34:41.880
<v Speaker 2>They're also either free sometimes if they're an exclusive, or

0:34:41.920 --> 0:34:44.800
<v Speaker 2>there are a few dollars I'll pop some recommendations in

0:34:44.840 --> 0:34:47.319
<v Speaker 2>the show notes of ones that I've enjoyed recently, but

0:34:48.520 --> 0:34:51.319
<v Speaker 2>I am just really into short stories at the moment.

0:34:52.280 --> 0:34:54.799
<v Speaker 3>On that note, fairly well, please rate and review us.

0:34:54.920 --> 0:34:55.520
<v Speaker 1>We're off.

0:34:55.760 --> 0:34:58.160
<v Speaker 3>Leave your questions in the link in the show.

0:34:57.960 --> 0:35:01.880
<v Speaker 2>Notes or in the SSR pod on Insta.

0:35:02.440 --> 0:35:03.839
<v Speaker 3>We'll be back in your ears next week.

0:35:04.000 --> 0:35:06.399
<v Speaker 1>We will. It was produced by US and the audio

0:35:06.440 --> 0:35:11.440
<v Speaker 1>production is by Mattie Joeannu. Bye Shit Is Bye.