WEBVTT - I Put A Spell On You

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<v Speaker 1>You're listening to Amma mea podcast Muma Mer acknowledges the

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<v Speaker 1>traditional owners of the land and waters. This podcast is

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<v Speaker 1>recorded on This episode deals with discussion of mental ill

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<v Speaker 1>health and assault and won't be for everyone. If you

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<v Speaker 1>or anyone you know needs help, there is a list

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<v Speaker 1>of support services in our show notes. Communication is often

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<v Speaker 1>tauted as the number one maker or breaker of any relationship,

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<v Speaker 1>and Ava and Aaron had it nailed.

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<v Speaker 2>We used to have really long intellectual conversations on the

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<v Speaker 2>couch all night. Where most other couples would be going

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<v Speaker 2>to bed and having sex, We'd sit on the couch

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<v Speaker 2>and talk about just the most random thing for hours

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<v Speaker 2>and hours. Yeah, it wasn't just your normal what's your

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<v Speaker 2>favorite color or where's your favorite holiday destination. They were

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<v Speaker 2>really really deep conversation. So we connected on a really

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<v Speaker 2>deep level right from the get go.

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<v Speaker 1>So when open communication is the number one thing you've

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<v Speaker 1>always had, what does it do to a relationship when

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<v Speaker 1>all of a sudden, one party decides to keep something hidden,

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<v Speaker 1>literally hidden under lock and key.

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<v Speaker 2>The shed was locked with like a huge big pad lock,

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<v Speaker 2>so I could never get in there to have a look.

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<v Speaker 2>There were times that I had tried to go up

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<v Speaker 2>there and get in, but I needed like a really

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<v Speaker 2>big pair of bolt cutters to do it.

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<v Speaker 3>I'm like, what are you doing up there?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm Georgia Love and this is everyone has an ex

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<v Speaker 1>Come with me as we dive into a collection of

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<v Speaker 1>unconventional stories about relationships passed through the eyes and the

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<v Speaker 1>hearts of the very people who lipped them. Every single

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<v Speaker 1>girl knows this setup. A friend who knows a guy

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<v Speaker 1>who's just your type, and you have to meet. And

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<v Speaker 1>that's how our story begins today. Well kind of because

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<v Speaker 1>Ava was being set up, yes, but it wasn't with

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<v Speaker 1>the guy this story is about.

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<v Speaker 2>I was single for a very long time in my twenties,

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<v Speaker 2>and then one particular weekend I went to visit a

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<v Speaker 2>friend interstate and she had said to me, I've got

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<v Speaker 2>the most amazing man for you to meet. So I

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<v Speaker 2>flew into state and spent the weekend with my friend,

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<v Speaker 2>and the most amazing man that she wanted me to

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<v Speaker 2>meet was not actually Aaron, It was his best friend.

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<v Speaker 2>So we went out for the night and I soon

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<v Speaker 2>began to realize that I wasn't really attracted to the

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<v Speaker 2>best friend, but I was attracted to Aaron, and my

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<v Speaker 2>friend had said to me, no, no, no, you can't

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<v Speaker 2>be with Aaron. I've known him for a really long

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<v Speaker 2>time and you won't get along and you need to

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<v Speaker 2>hook up with the best friend.

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<v Speaker 3>She thought he was.

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<v Speaker 2>Extremely arrogant and rude and selfish, and she believed that

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<v Speaker 2>I needed someone kinder, maybe a little less extrovert than him.

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<v Speaker 2>She's like, you would suit someone more introvert because I'm

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<v Speaker 2>an extrovert. And she said the two of you will

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<v Speaker 2>will not match because you'll both want the limelight kind

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<v Speaker 2>of thing. So yeah, she was very adamant he was

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<v Speaker 2>not going to be a good match.

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<v Speaker 1>But what do we do when we're told not to

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<v Speaker 1>do something, ladies.

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<v Speaker 3>I was completely drawn to him.

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<v Speaker 2>I ignored the best friend pretty much the whole weekend.

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<v Speaker 2>The initial attraction was his charisma. He could sell ice

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<v Speaker 2>to the Eskimos. He just had this beautiful aura about him.

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<v Speaker 2>He was extremely smart, he was just interesting. He'd lived

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<v Speaker 2>a really interesting life. He'd lived overseas, He'd had interesting

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<v Speaker 2>experiences and jobs, and I just became fascinated. And I

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<v Speaker 2>think because I've lived a very similar life. I've traveled

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<v Speaker 2>a lot and had a lot of exciting jobs as well.

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<v Speaker 2>We kind of just bounced off each other, and I

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<v Speaker 2>was definitely attracted to him in a more of an

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<v Speaker 2>intellectual way than say how he physically looked. But yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>that quickly agrew for me. It was like we had

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<v Speaker 2>known each other for years, and yeah, there was just

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<v Speaker 2>something there. It was I'd never felt that way about

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<v Speaker 2>someone before. After the weekend, I flew back home and

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<v Speaker 2>Aaron and I stayed in touch and struck up this

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<v Speaker 2>really beautiful friendship to begin with. And then work actually

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<v Speaker 2>took me to the city that he was from. I

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<v Speaker 2>was working in the airlines and one of the airlines

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<v Speaker 2>I was working for was opening a new service in

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<v Speaker 2>his city and asked me to go and set up that.

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<v Speaker 2>So I took that opportunity as a good professional opportunity,

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<v Speaker 2>but also an opportunity in love as well. I thought, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm feeling this way about this man professionally, it was

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<v Speaker 2>going to be a really good decision, and so I

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<v Speaker 2>took a chance and moved.

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<v Speaker 1>Sometimes life just finds a way.

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<v Speaker 2>It was around six weeks after and then when I

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<v Speaker 2>first got to his city, was with another friend, and

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<v Speaker 2>then he actually rang me and said I've got a

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<v Speaker 2>spare room in my house now that I could have

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<v Speaker 2>for really cheap rent. So I ended up moving into

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<v Speaker 2>his house about three weeks after being there, and then

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<v Speaker 2>we stayed together the whole time. So we moved in

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<v Speaker 2>very very quickly. It was like we'd been living together forever. Really,

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<v Speaker 2>it was just so easy. He was amazing cook. He's

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<v Speaker 2>a pedantic cleaner, so I was being very well looked

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<v Speaker 2>after doing quite long hours with my new role, and

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<v Speaker 2>he took charge of the house and I thought I

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<v Speaker 2>could get used to this. There were no red flags.

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<v Speaker 2>I was just thinking, this man is unbelievable. There was

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<v Speaker 2>no love bombing. There was We had the same love

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<v Speaker 2>language and everything. It was spending quality time together and

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<v Speaker 2>he said all the right things and made me feel amazing,

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<v Speaker 2>like I was the only woman in the world. We

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<v Speaker 2>used to have really long intellectual conversations on the couch

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<v Speaker 2>all night. Where most other couples would be, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>going to bed and having sex, We'd sit on the

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<v Speaker 2>couch and talk about the most random things for hours

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<v Speaker 2>and hours.

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<v Speaker 3>He was just interesting, you know.

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<v Speaker 2>He was the kind of guy that always wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>know why. I think even growing up his parents would

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<v Speaker 2>say why is the sky blue?

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<v Speaker 3>And why are we here?

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<v Speaker 2>And he was always very curious about life and experiences,

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<v Speaker 2>and I guess he kind of brought out that curiosity

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<v Speaker 2>for me as well.

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<v Speaker 3>We connected on such a like.

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<v Speaker 2>An emotional level, and yeah, just his intellect is something

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<v Speaker 2>I'd never come across in a partner before. It was

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<v Speaker 2>really good to watch how his kind of brain worked,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, wanting to know about all different belief systems,

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<v Speaker 2>and you know, we even had talks about death and

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<v Speaker 2>after life, and yeah, it wasn't just your normal what's

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<v Speaker 2>your favorite color or where's your favorite holiday destination. They

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<v Speaker 2>were really really deep conversations. So we connected on a

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<v Speaker 2>really deep level right from the get go. I'm not

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<v Speaker 2>a real believer in love at first sight. I could

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<v Speaker 2>tell that he was going to be the one just

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<v Speaker 2>because of the ease. So I would go as far

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<v Speaker 2>to say probably within the first month, I was getting

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<v Speaker 2>the heart flutters and the butterflies, and you know, wanted

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<v Speaker 2>to race home and be with him, and I know

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<v Speaker 2>he felt the same. He said I love you first,

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<v Speaker 2>and I still remember that day.

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<v Speaker 3>It was.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was probably only six weeks into our relationship

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<v Speaker 2>that he said that it was like we had known

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<v Speaker 2>each other for years, and yeah, there was just something there.

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<v Speaker 2>It was I'd never felt that way about someone before.

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<v Speaker 2>I had had boyfriends in the past, but this was

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<v Speaker 2>just different and it was easy. And I kind of

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<v Speaker 2>knew then and there that we were going to be

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<v Speaker 2>together and get married. We were both twenty nine, a

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<v Speaker 2>lot of our friends were already in the process of

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<v Speaker 2>getting married and starting to have children, so we were

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<v Speaker 2>late starters, but.

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<v Speaker 3>It moved very quickly.

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<v Speaker 1>How quickly you ask.

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<v Speaker 2>We ended up buying a house after four months together.

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<v Speaker 2>We had to move out of this particular rental, and

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<v Speaker 2>I had a bit of money behind me and he

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<v Speaker 2>did as well, so we kind of thought, well, rather

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<v Speaker 2>than getting into a rental, let's just let's just buy

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<v Speaker 2>a little apartment. So yeah, we did that and got

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<v Speaker 2>to set up our own little love nest and you know.

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<v Speaker 3>Just start to build a future together. It just felt right.

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<v Speaker 2>A lot of people were saying, you know, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>think you're rushing into things, but I'm like, oh, you

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<v Speaker 2>need to trust me. I know when I feel something

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<v Speaker 2>which I haven't felt in past long term relationships before,

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<v Speaker 2>I know this is right.

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<v Speaker 3>At no time did I think it was. It was

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<v Speaker 3>too quick.

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<v Speaker 2>I was just you know, hook line and sinker in

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<v Speaker 2>my own little love bubble and just thought I'd completely

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<v Speaker 2>hit the jackpot.

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<v Speaker 3>Then the next step was he.

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<v Speaker 2>He asked me to marry him on a Melbourne cup

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<v Speaker 2>day that was eight months into the relationship. He made

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<v Speaker 2>me do a hot and cold hunt around the house,

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<v Speaker 2>like you know, I'd go into the kitchen and he'd

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<v Speaker 2>say cold, cold, cold, and go out the front and

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<v Speaker 2>he'd say warm, warm, warmer. And then I finally got

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<v Speaker 2>to his car and there was a bottle of champagne

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<v Speaker 2>and the rings sitting on his front car seat where

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<v Speaker 2>I turned around and I was like, oh my.

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<v Speaker 3>Gosh, is this for real? And he's like, yes, marry me.

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<v Speaker 2>And we pop the champagne on the front lawn and

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<v Speaker 2>sprayed it everywhere, and yeah, it was a really beautiful moment.

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<v Speaker 2>I just wish he wasn't so a ne breaded. He

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<v Speaker 2>was blind drunk when he proposed to me. And then

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<v Speaker 2>the next morning I'm like, maybe you might want to

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<v Speaker 2>take this ring back and he's like, no, no, I've

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<v Speaker 2>had the ring.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 2>I wanted to propose. I just wasn't supposed to propose

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<v Speaker 2>in that particular way. He got completely excited. I think

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<v Speaker 2>he'd had this whole thing planned in a beautiful part

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<v Speaker 2>like down at the beach, far more romantic setting than

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<v Speaker 2>being blind drunk after going to the races and coming home.

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<v Speaker 2>And yeah, he couldn't contain himself. He just wanted to

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<v Speaker 2>do it, which I guess was nice At the time.

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<v Speaker 2>It was kind of endearing that he couldn't wait. There

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<v Speaker 2>was a little bit of pushback. Yeah, a few people

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<v Speaker 2>were like, oh, gee, that's like it's only been eight months.

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<v Speaker 2>But I guess when you start living together so soon

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<v Speaker 2>in the relationship, you get to learn a lot about people.

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<v Speaker 3>In that time.

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<v Speaker 2>There wasn't really a time that we were just dating

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<v Speaker 2>and doing our own thing and living separately. But look,

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<v Speaker 2>majority of my support network were very excited for me

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<v Speaker 2>that I'd finally found someone to settle down with. We

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<v Speaker 2>decided to get married exactly twelve months after the proposal,

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<v Speaker 2>so we planned. It wasn't a huge wedding. It was

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<v Speaker 2>pretty traditional, really, Yeah, white dress, bridesmaids, groomsmen in a park,

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<v Speaker 2>a reception at a hotel. It was an an extravagant

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<v Speaker 2>or anything, but it was with our nearest and dearest.

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<v Speaker 1>But it wasn't all perfect. The first thing that ever

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<v Speaker 1>went wrong, the first and only time Aaron had ever

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<v Speaker 1>made a even blink, let alone second guess anything, was

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<v Speaker 1>the very night before the wedding.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm at the hotel with my girls and my bridal party,

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<v Speaker 2>and I get a phone call and Aaron has been

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<v Speaker 2>in a punch on with all of his groomsmen and

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<v Speaker 2>he was crying and saying he can't stay at the

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<v Speaker 2>hotel that they were at, that his mum and dad

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<v Speaker 2>were coming to pick him up because he's all beaten

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<v Speaker 2>and bruised.

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<v Speaker 3>I had never really heard.

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<v Speaker 2>Of him being violent in any sort of way, and

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<v Speaker 2>so I broke down in tears. And all of my

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<v Speaker 2>bridesmaids and my sister were there and they're like, oh

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<v Speaker 2>my gosh, what are you going to do? And I'm like, well,

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know. I don't know what to do. Do

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<v Speaker 2>I go around there and they're like, no, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>leave him to sort it out. It's you know, this

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<v Speaker 2>is your last night as well, and we're here drinking

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<v Speaker 2>champagne and in our Peter Alexander pajamas and he needs

0:12:17.888 --> 0:12:21.528
<v Speaker 2>to sort that out anyway. His mum was calling me,

0:12:21.688 --> 0:12:25.648
<v Speaker 2>telling me how distraught he was and that he's got

0:12:25.648 --> 0:12:29.368
<v Speaker 2>a fat lip and a bruised eye, and don't be

0:12:29.408 --> 0:12:31.528
<v Speaker 2>shocked when I walk down the aisle tomorrow and see

0:12:31.608 --> 0:12:33.568
<v Speaker 2>him beaten up.

0:12:33.848 --> 0:12:38.288
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, that was the first red flag for me.

0:12:38.568 --> 0:12:40.848
<v Speaker 3>I was like, oh no, what am I doing?

0:12:41.848 --> 0:12:44.848
<v Speaker 2>So what I had known to have happened was that

0:12:45.688 --> 0:12:48.648
<v Speaker 2>he had an expectation that the boys would all come

0:12:49.048 --> 0:12:51.648
<v Speaker 2>to the hotel and have a few beers and hang out.

0:12:51.728 --> 0:12:54.008
<v Speaker 2>Now a couple of them couldn't make it, so he

0:12:54.088 --> 0:12:57.288
<v Speaker 2>got very upset that he had made it to their

0:12:57.328 --> 0:13:01.888
<v Speaker 2>wedding or pre wedding drinks, and so yeah, I think

0:13:01.928 --> 0:13:04.888
<v Speaker 2>he'd had a few drinks and told them exactly how

0:13:04.928 --> 0:13:08.288
<v Speaker 2>he felt about them not being there, and they ended

0:13:08.328 --> 0:13:11.208
<v Speaker 2>up coming around, and I think he was too angry

0:13:11.248 --> 0:13:15.408
<v Speaker 2>by that stage and a fight had broken out, and yeah,

0:13:15.448 --> 0:13:18.688
<v Speaker 2>he did have a huge fat lip when I walked

0:13:18.728 --> 0:13:22.568
<v Speaker 2>down the aisle the next day. I didn't know if

0:13:22.608 --> 0:13:26.448
<v Speaker 2>I believe that it was about the boys not coming over.

0:13:26.768 --> 0:13:30.648
<v Speaker 2>I started to feel really quite insecure about were they

0:13:30.768 --> 0:13:33.448
<v Speaker 2>upset that he was marrying me? Did they think that

0:13:33.608 --> 0:13:36.848
<v Speaker 2>he was rushing into it as well? And thinking it

0:13:36.888 --> 0:13:39.648
<v Speaker 2>was a really bad idea, and his friends were not

0:13:39.848 --> 0:13:43.728
<v Speaker 2>actually very nice people. But I didn't say to him,

0:13:44.528 --> 0:13:46.408
<v Speaker 2>I don't want you to be friends with these people.

0:13:46.448 --> 0:13:47.768
<v Speaker 3>I just used to say to.

0:13:47.768 --> 0:13:50.128
<v Speaker 2>Him sometimes, like they're not very nice and they don't

0:13:50.128 --> 0:13:52.128
<v Speaker 2>treat you very well, and maybe you need to surround

0:13:52.168 --> 0:13:55.288
<v Speaker 2>yourself with better people. And so I started, Yeah, I

0:13:55.328 --> 0:13:58.368
<v Speaker 2>started to get really self conscious about if it was

0:13:58.648 --> 0:13:59.088
<v Speaker 2>about me.

0:14:00.048 --> 0:14:03.208
<v Speaker 3>Didn't mean to make it about me, but he insisted that.

0:14:03.208 --> 0:14:06.408
<v Speaker 2>It was because he had this expectation and they weren't

0:14:06.448 --> 0:14:10.607
<v Speaker 2>meeting it well. His friends all got married and didn't

0:14:10.648 --> 0:14:14.968
<v Speaker 2>have him in the bridal party. Ever, they would go

0:14:15.088 --> 0:14:18.568
<v Speaker 2>surfing and wouldn't invite him, and he was always just

0:14:18.608 --> 0:14:21.848
<v Speaker 2>a second thought. And for me, like, I'm so loyal

0:14:21.888 --> 0:14:25.648
<v Speaker 2>and I've got the most beautiful group of friends around me,

0:14:26.008 --> 0:14:29.248
<v Speaker 2>and I just hated to see that they would treat

0:14:29.448 --> 0:14:32.128
<v Speaker 2>him like that. I just wasn't used to those kind

0:14:32.208 --> 0:14:35.368
<v Speaker 2>of relationships. My friends and I we do so many

0:14:35.368 --> 0:14:37.848
<v Speaker 2>things together and really look out for each other and

0:14:37.888 --> 0:14:40.088
<v Speaker 2>have each other's backs. But I just feel like he

0:14:40.328 --> 0:14:44.168
<v Speaker 2>really didn't have anyone that really had his back. So

0:14:44.248 --> 0:14:47.808
<v Speaker 2>I became quite protective of him in that way.

0:14:48.448 --> 0:14:51.128
<v Speaker 1>But it wasn't about her, and it was very, very

0:14:51.288 --> 0:14:54.768
<v Speaker 1>out of the ordinary, so Aver brushed it aside. What's

0:14:54.768 --> 0:14:56.448
<v Speaker 1>a fat lip in your wedding photos when you have

0:14:56.528 --> 0:14:57.568
<v Speaker 1>your whole life ahead.

0:14:58.048 --> 0:15:00.848
<v Speaker 2>I absolutely had to let the night before the wedding

0:15:00.928 --> 0:15:05.208
<v Speaker 2>go because if I didn't, resentment would start.

0:15:05.568 --> 0:15:06.248
<v Speaker 3>It was in there.

0:15:06.528 --> 0:15:09.088
<v Speaker 2>But I managed to be like, okay, this is one

0:15:09.208 --> 0:15:11.728
<v Speaker 2>night elko oh I was involved. Let's just try and

0:15:12.208 --> 0:15:14.688
<v Speaker 2>try and let it go. And it never really came

0:15:14.728 --> 0:15:19.888
<v Speaker 2>back up in conversation. He assured me that they had

0:15:19.888 --> 0:15:22.128
<v Speaker 2>had punch ons before and were able just to get

0:15:22.368 --> 0:15:24.688
<v Speaker 2>over it and move on, and it was swept under

0:15:24.728 --> 0:15:27.728
<v Speaker 2>the carpet and never discussed again. We had the most

0:15:27.848 --> 0:15:32.368
<v Speaker 2>amazing honeymoon. We went overseas for six weeks, amazing just

0:15:32.488 --> 0:15:34.968
<v Speaker 2>exploring the world together, which we both loved to do.

0:15:35.728 --> 0:15:39.008
<v Speaker 2>And then Aaron comes from a very big family, so

0:15:39.048 --> 0:15:42.168
<v Speaker 2>he was really ready to get cracking and having kids.

0:15:42.288 --> 0:15:45.328
<v Speaker 2>Now I come from quite a small family, and I

0:15:45.488 --> 0:15:47.368
<v Speaker 2>was a bit more of the mindset of, you know,

0:15:47.408 --> 0:15:49.088
<v Speaker 2>maybe we should be married for a couple of years

0:15:49.128 --> 0:15:51.688
<v Speaker 2>before starting to have kids. But because we were twenty nine,

0:15:51.728 --> 0:15:53.848
<v Speaker 2>like while we were thirty by that time, he really

0:15:53.848 --> 0:15:57.248
<v Speaker 2>wanted to get cracking, so we started trying straight away

0:15:57.288 --> 0:16:01.568
<v Speaker 2>and fell pregnant straight away, and our first child was

0:16:01.608 --> 0:16:05.128
<v Speaker 2>born twelve months after the wedding day. As a teenager

0:16:05.288 --> 0:16:07.488
<v Speaker 2>or you know, young woman in their twenties, you always

0:16:07.488 --> 0:16:11.008
<v Speaker 2>have this timeline of I want to be engaged by

0:16:11.008 --> 0:16:13.848
<v Speaker 2>twenty eight, married by thirty and baby by thirty two.

0:16:13.928 --> 0:16:17.488
<v Speaker 2>While I was pretty much living to that of what

0:16:18.608 --> 0:16:24.208
<v Speaker 2>societal expectation was. So you know, for us, we were

0:16:24.248 --> 0:16:28.608
<v Speaker 2>on track to having a successful marriage in life. Our

0:16:28.648 --> 0:16:31.608
<v Speaker 2>first year of marriage was amazing. I just knew he

0:16:31.728 --> 0:16:33.768
<v Speaker 2>was going to be a really good dad because he

0:16:33.848 --> 0:16:38.568
<v Speaker 2>wanted to have kids very much. And yeah, he looked

0:16:38.608 --> 0:16:41.688
<v Speaker 2>after me during pregnancy really well. I had lots of

0:16:41.808 --> 0:16:44.888
<v Speaker 2>really random cravings and things, so he'd be going out

0:16:44.888 --> 0:16:46.928
<v Speaker 2>in the middle of the night to get me Granni

0:16:46.928 --> 0:16:51.248
<v Speaker 2>Smith apples and fruit juice and steam dim sims. So yeah,

0:16:51.288 --> 0:16:54.008
<v Speaker 2>he was amazing and we were just still in this

0:16:54.448 --> 0:16:58.368
<v Speaker 2>beautiful marital bliss. We had to sell our apartment that

0:16:58.408 --> 0:17:00.968
<v Speaker 2>we had bought to move into a into a bigger

0:17:00.968 --> 0:17:04.088
<v Speaker 2>house because our apartment had a three story walk up.

0:17:04.648 --> 0:17:07.568
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, we ended up buying a beautiful family home

0:17:07.927 --> 0:17:10.767
<v Speaker 2>and Yeah, we were ready to start our life with

0:17:11.008 --> 0:17:12.128
<v Speaker 2>bringing kids into it.

0:17:13.088 --> 0:17:15.168
<v Speaker 3>Our marriage was beautiful.

0:17:15.328 --> 0:17:17.608
<v Speaker 2>We had a really good group of friends that we

0:17:17.688 --> 0:17:20.008
<v Speaker 2>had made in the community that we moved to.

0:17:20.968 --> 0:17:22.648
<v Speaker 3>I was really enjoying motherhood.

0:17:23.048 --> 0:17:27.088
<v Speaker 2>We had a very successful business as well, so financially

0:17:27.128 --> 0:17:28.888
<v Speaker 2>we're in a really good position.

0:17:29.488 --> 0:17:29.728
<v Speaker 3>Yeah.

0:17:29.808 --> 0:17:33.167
<v Speaker 2>Life just really couldn't be any more perfect. So we

0:17:33.288 --> 0:17:36.487
<v Speaker 2>decided to have a second child two years later, and

0:17:36.608 --> 0:17:40.608
<v Speaker 2>that again was just a beautiful experience for both of us.

0:17:40.768 --> 0:17:44.487
<v Speaker 2>And we had made the decision that we were done

0:17:44.608 --> 0:17:47.447
<v Speaker 2>with just having the two kids, and I think we

0:17:47.448 --> 0:17:51.368
<v Speaker 2>were at capacity. Our hands were full with running a business,

0:17:51.568 --> 0:17:54.488
<v Speaker 2>running a household, and having two young children.

0:17:56.248 --> 0:17:59.608
<v Speaker 1>Life continued this way. Ava and Aaron continue their long,

0:17:59.768 --> 0:18:03.128
<v Speaker 1>deep intellectual chats on the couch. They continued to travel,

0:18:03.248 --> 0:18:06.288
<v Speaker 1>They loved being parents, and were smashing goals in their business.

0:18:06.608 --> 0:18:08.888
<v Speaker 1>There hadn't been a single hiccup since the bust up

0:18:08.968 --> 0:18:12.008
<v Speaker 1>with his mates before the wedding, So when life issued

0:18:12.048 --> 0:18:14.928
<v Speaker 1>a curveball six years into their marriage, I even knew

0:18:14.928 --> 0:18:17.088
<v Speaker 1>they could and would tackle it as a team.

0:18:17.648 --> 0:18:21.248
<v Speaker 2>I fell pregnant, so my other two were four and

0:18:22.088 --> 0:18:26.248
<v Speaker 2>eighteen months and I just really didn't know if I

0:18:26.288 --> 0:18:28.167
<v Speaker 2>was going to be able to cope with having a

0:18:28.168 --> 0:18:32.528
<v Speaker 2>third child. So yeah, I had had to have a

0:18:32.568 --> 0:18:36.248
<v Speaker 2>conversation with Aaron and say, I don't know.

0:18:36.208 --> 0:18:36.968
<v Speaker 3>If I can do this.

0:18:37.328 --> 0:18:41.688
<v Speaker 2>I'm at capacity because I was helping run the business.

0:18:42.088 --> 0:18:44.688
<v Speaker 2>He was out all day, you know, working really long

0:18:44.728 --> 0:18:48.288
<v Speaker 2>hours from like six am until like nine pm, so

0:18:48.448 --> 0:18:51.888
<v Speaker 2>really long days. And he had said to me, well,

0:18:52.808 --> 0:18:55.888
<v Speaker 2>I really want to have a big family, and I said,

0:18:56.288 --> 0:18:58.687
<v Speaker 2>I know you do, but I don't think this is

0:18:58.768 --> 0:19:02.728
<v Speaker 2>a financially for us, and be like, I just don't

0:19:02.728 --> 0:19:03.368
<v Speaker 2>know if I'm going.

0:19:03.288 --> 0:19:04.687
<v Speaker 3>To be able to cope with three kids.

0:19:04.768 --> 0:19:09.008
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, he had given me an ultimatum that if

0:19:09.008 --> 0:19:14.207
<v Speaker 2>I terminate the pregnancy that he will leave me. I

0:19:14.328 --> 0:19:16.808
<v Speaker 2>never thought he would give me an ultimatum like that.

0:19:17.088 --> 0:19:21.687
<v Speaker 2>I was just absolutely thrown back. At the time I

0:19:21.728 --> 0:19:23.968
<v Speaker 2>found out I was pregnant with my third we were

0:19:24.248 --> 0:19:27.408
<v Speaker 2>going on a holiday to Thailand with a huge group

0:19:27.448 --> 0:19:29.688
<v Speaker 2>of people, and I said to him, I'm going to

0:19:29.728 --> 0:19:31.488
<v Speaker 2>go on that holiday and have a think about it.

0:19:32.208 --> 0:19:35.168
<v Speaker 3>But the resentment then started to build up. I thought,

0:19:35.168 --> 0:19:37.407
<v Speaker 3>how dare you place that on me?

0:19:38.248 --> 0:19:42.328
<v Speaker 2>So after Thailand, I kind of started to come to

0:19:42.408 --> 0:19:47.048
<v Speaker 2>terms with pregnancy and decided not only coming to terms

0:19:47.048 --> 0:19:49.768
<v Speaker 2>with the pregnancy, but I wanted to save my marriage.

0:19:50.208 --> 0:19:53.128
<v Speaker 2>And during that pregnancy that's when things started to really

0:19:53.488 --> 0:19:58.768
<v Speaker 2>go downhill. Our relationship was great up until that third pregnancy.

0:19:58.848 --> 0:20:02.488
<v Speaker 2>He really really wanted to go through with it and

0:20:02.728 --> 0:20:04.888
<v Speaker 2>I really really didn't and I just felt like he

0:20:04.928 --> 0:20:09.048
<v Speaker 2>didn't respect my views on it at all, that he

0:20:09.128 --> 0:20:11.688
<v Speaker 2>was just thinking about himself and what his wishes were,

0:20:11.728 --> 0:20:12.208
<v Speaker 2>which was.

0:20:12.168 --> 0:20:13.168
<v Speaker 3>To have a big family.

0:20:13.248 --> 0:20:17.167
<v Speaker 2>And yes, so their tension started to grow, and resentment

0:20:17.408 --> 0:20:21.448
<v Speaker 2>did start to grow throughout because I just again became

0:20:21.488 --> 0:20:25.007
<v Speaker 2>another designated driver for him for every function, and you know,

0:20:25.208 --> 0:20:29.008
<v Speaker 2>having to look after two young toddlers at the same

0:20:29.048 --> 0:20:32.488
<v Speaker 2>time as making a baby. And then I started to

0:20:32.528 --> 0:20:36.487
<v Speaker 2>worry that I might resent my third childhood and I

0:20:36.608 --> 0:20:39.008
<v Speaker 2>was like, I can't believe you're putting me in this situation.

0:20:39.968 --> 0:20:44.488
<v Speaker 2>He started to drink heavily during that third pregnancy as well. Yeah,

0:20:44.528 --> 0:20:47.728
<v Speaker 2>it was very, very difficult, and by the time my

0:20:47.848 --> 0:20:53.568
<v Speaker 2>third came, the resentment was really really embedded. Well, there

0:20:53.648 --> 0:20:55.808
<v Speaker 2>was a couple of things that happened. I had to

0:20:55.848 --> 0:20:59.408
<v Speaker 2>have a c section because my baby ended up being

0:20:59.448 --> 0:21:03.688
<v Speaker 2>ten pound five so a really really big boy. And

0:21:03.888 --> 0:21:09.368
<v Speaker 2>while I was in recovery, Aaron had actually named my baby.

0:21:10.408 --> 0:21:12.648
<v Speaker 2>So the nurse came down and said, I'm going to

0:21:12.688 --> 0:21:15.008
<v Speaker 2>take you down to see so and so, and I'm like.

0:21:15.248 --> 0:21:15.648
<v Speaker 3>Who's that.

0:21:15.888 --> 0:21:18.928
<v Speaker 2>She's like, that's your child, and I was like, oh,

0:21:18.968 --> 0:21:22.968
<v Speaker 2>my gosh, has Aaron named the baby? And she said, yeah, yeah,

0:21:23.208 --> 0:21:25.888
<v Speaker 2>it's all all the documents are done. So they took

0:21:25.928 --> 0:21:29.447
<v Speaker 2>me down there and I walk into Niku. Because he

0:21:29.608 --> 0:21:32.688
<v Speaker 2>was so big he had to go into intensive care

0:21:32.728 --> 0:21:36.688
<v Speaker 2>for a little bit. And Aaron's mum is holding my baby.

0:21:36.848 --> 0:21:43.128
<v Speaker 2>So the resentment that was already there absolutely multiplied with

0:21:43.128 --> 0:21:46.568
<v Speaker 2>within minutes. I was like, a You've named the baby,

0:21:46.648 --> 0:21:51.528
<v Speaker 2>and be everybody in your family has held him before me.

0:21:52.448 --> 0:21:54.888
<v Speaker 3>There was one name that he liked that I was

0:21:55.008 --> 0:21:55.808
<v Speaker 3>not a fan of.

0:21:55.808 --> 0:21:59.648
<v Speaker 2>And he he named him that while I was still

0:21:59.808 --> 0:22:03.688
<v Speaker 2>under a general anesthetic, there is this little stranger that

0:22:03.768 --> 0:22:06.728
<v Speaker 2>has had cuddles with everybody else.

0:22:06.848 --> 0:22:08.728
<v Speaker 3>After such a traumatic birth.

0:22:08.488 --> 0:22:11.808
<v Speaker 2>I just did didn't know how I was going to

0:22:11.888 --> 0:22:17.488
<v Speaker 2>move on from that, so coming home was extremely difficult.

0:22:17.528 --> 0:22:19.528
<v Speaker 2>I would probably say I was pretty close to having

0:22:19.568 --> 0:22:24.248
<v Speaker 2>postnatal depression. Not so much about the baby, I bonded

0:22:24.328 --> 0:22:27.608
<v Speaker 2>with him beautifully, but my marriage was breaking down because

0:22:28.368 --> 0:22:29.448
<v Speaker 2>I was so angry.

0:22:29.608 --> 0:22:31.528
<v Speaker 3>I was so angry.

0:22:31.288 --> 0:22:36.048
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I just knew that I just needed to

0:22:36.608 --> 0:22:39.008
<v Speaker 2>be there for my kids, try and get a routine,

0:22:39.048 --> 0:22:41.368
<v Speaker 2>and then like the marriage would sort itself out later.

0:22:41.968 --> 0:22:43.248
<v Speaker 3>I would say I checked out.

0:22:43.328 --> 0:22:46.648
<v Speaker 2>I started to check out, and I just really needed

0:22:46.688 --> 0:22:51.688
<v Speaker 2>to focus on trying to raise three kids under four, Like, yeah,

0:22:51.728 --> 0:22:53.008
<v Speaker 2>it was really really difficult.

0:22:53.568 --> 0:22:57.128
<v Speaker 3>And he was still drinking. So I started to think, well,

0:22:57.168 --> 0:23:00.768
<v Speaker 3>he's not coping with three kids either, Like he would

0:23:00.968 --> 0:23:03.687
<v Speaker 3>lose his crap if you know, one of them was

0:23:03.728 --> 0:23:07.528
<v Speaker 3>having a tantrum. I would you get to the point

0:23:07.528 --> 0:23:09.968
<v Speaker 3>where I couldn't deal with it? So I'd say to him,

0:23:10.288 --> 0:23:13.248
<v Speaker 3>can you come and like sort this out, takeover. I

0:23:13.288 --> 0:23:14.048
<v Speaker 3>need to tap out.

0:23:14.568 --> 0:23:17.608
<v Speaker 2>And then what would happen was he would then escalate,

0:23:18.088 --> 0:23:20.167
<v Speaker 2>and then I would have to step back in because

0:23:20.208 --> 0:23:24.608
<v Speaker 2>now I've got a child escalating, an arrow escalating, and.

0:23:24.648 --> 0:23:26.048
<v Speaker 3>It was just an absolute nightmare.

0:23:26.568 --> 0:23:29.368
<v Speaker 2>It was almost like I had another child who I

0:23:29.528 --> 0:23:33.928
<v Speaker 2>was consistently trying to de escalate, which, yeah, like I said,

0:23:33.968 --> 0:23:37.968
<v Speaker 2>the resentment would just continue to build up and even

0:23:38.008 --> 0:23:42.088
<v Speaker 2>more every single day. He just continued on this drinking

0:23:42.488 --> 0:23:45.328
<v Speaker 2>cycle until one day he actually came to me and said,

0:23:45.448 --> 0:23:48.368
<v Speaker 2>I'm going to have twelve months off the alcohol. And

0:23:48.408 --> 0:23:50.888
<v Speaker 2>I thought, oh my gosh, this is a this is amazing.

0:23:50.928 --> 0:23:54.048
<v Speaker 2>Oh he's understanding, and you know, I started to think

0:23:54.048 --> 0:23:57.168
<v Speaker 2>maybe there is a future for us together. And so

0:23:57.328 --> 0:24:01.448
<v Speaker 2>he stopped drinking completely, but then decided to start smoking marijuana.

0:24:02.408 --> 0:24:04.888
<v Speaker 3>So he was swapping one vice for another vice.

0:24:05.568 --> 0:24:08.407
<v Speaker 2>It would have been a year that it did completely

0:24:09.248 --> 0:24:11.447
<v Speaker 2>turn around, and it did a massive one eighty and

0:24:11.648 --> 0:24:15.008
<v Speaker 2>just continue to go downhill. I didn't think things could

0:24:15.048 --> 0:24:19.167
<v Speaker 2>get much worse, actually, but they did. About a year

0:24:19.208 --> 0:24:23.888
<v Speaker 2>after my third was born, he decided he didn't want

0:24:23.928 --> 0:24:27.248
<v Speaker 2>to own a business anymore. He wanted to sell the business.

0:24:28.248 --> 0:24:30.368
<v Speaker 2>I was okay with him wanting to sell the business.

0:24:30.528 --> 0:24:32.888
<v Speaker 2>Although it made us really really good money, I knew

0:24:32.888 --> 0:24:35.968
<v Speaker 2>how stressful it was for him. So I said to him,

0:24:36.008 --> 0:24:37.768
<v Speaker 2>I'm happy if you want to stay at home and

0:24:37.968 --> 0:24:40.687
<v Speaker 2>look after the kids, I'll go back to work. So

0:24:40.848 --> 0:24:43.608
<v Speaker 2>he said, okay, let's do that then, so we switched

0:24:43.688 --> 0:24:50.048
<v Speaker 2>roles and I went to work and he stayed at home. Anyway,

0:24:50.128 --> 0:24:52.088
<v Speaker 2>he rang me one day while I was at work,

0:24:52.128 --> 0:24:53.968
<v Speaker 2>and he said, I've just sold the business.

0:24:54.488 --> 0:24:56.248
<v Speaker 3>I was like, what do you what do you mean.

0:24:56.648 --> 0:24:57.927
<v Speaker 3>He's like, yeah, I've sold the business.

0:24:58.048 --> 0:25:01.088
<v Speaker 2>I've sold it to another another company, and it's all

0:25:01.128 --> 0:25:03.167
<v Speaker 2>sign sealed and delivered. And I said, hang on a minute,

0:25:03.168 --> 0:25:05.608
<v Speaker 2>we need to have a conversation around that. And he's like,

0:25:05.648 --> 0:25:08.208
<v Speaker 2>I know, it's all done. So he sold the business.

0:25:09.408 --> 0:25:13.407
<v Speaker 2>Really the really big decisions without consulting me, and really

0:25:13.648 --> 0:25:18.888
<v Speaker 2>quite irrational decisions. And his behavior just started to become

0:25:19.048 --> 0:25:22.448
<v Speaker 2>really strange with that kind of thing, just like buying

0:25:22.488 --> 0:25:24.568
<v Speaker 2>a two seater car when we're a family of five

0:25:25.168 --> 0:25:27.728
<v Speaker 2>with the money from the business, Like just really really

0:25:28.288 --> 0:25:33.967
<v Speaker 2>strange behavior. I was thinking that he was about to

0:25:34.048 --> 0:25:39.488
<v Speaker 2>have a full blown mental breakdown, a full psychotic mental breakdown.

0:25:39.648 --> 0:25:46.128
<v Speaker 2>I was watching him slowly decline mentally. So I suggested

0:25:46.168 --> 0:25:51.048
<v Speaker 2>to him to seek some therapy and find a psychologist.

0:25:51.288 --> 0:25:55.888
<v Speaker 2>And he was never really into that. Sitting down and

0:25:55.888 --> 0:25:59.927
<v Speaker 2>talking about feelings with a complete stranger. There was absolute

0:25:59.968 --> 0:26:02.648
<v Speaker 2>irony in the fact that we were connected on such

0:26:02.688 --> 0:26:05.128
<v Speaker 2>an intellectual level talking about all these deep topics, and

0:26:05.208 --> 0:26:07.448
<v Speaker 2>at that stage I was a stranger to him. So

0:26:07.488 --> 0:26:12.328
<v Speaker 2>the fact that he was so anti sharing his feelings

0:26:12.368 --> 0:26:15.448
<v Speaker 2>with the stranger and wanting to get better from there.

0:26:15.488 --> 0:26:18.048
<v Speaker 1>He declined further. While he was working on their property

0:26:18.048 --> 0:26:20.687
<v Speaker 1>one day cutting trees, he was hit by a falling

0:26:20.688 --> 0:26:24.448
<v Speaker 1>branch and suffered a debilitating back injury. He needed surgery

0:26:24.488 --> 0:26:27.448
<v Speaker 1>and around the clock care for three months. Ava kept

0:26:27.448 --> 0:26:30.328
<v Speaker 1>the home fires burning as best she could, but Aaron's

0:26:30.328 --> 0:26:31.488
<v Speaker 1>mental health got worse.

0:26:31.848 --> 0:26:33.928
<v Speaker 2>It was clear to me that he was not coping

0:26:34.008 --> 0:26:37.448
<v Speaker 2>with selling his business. He was not coping with three kids.

0:26:37.528 --> 0:26:41.688
<v Speaker 2>He had this idea that life was life was not amazing.

0:26:41.808 --> 0:26:44.687
<v Speaker 2>He had been sold a lie. Was basically how I

0:26:44.728 --> 0:26:47.888
<v Speaker 2>looked at it, that three kids and white picket fence

0:26:47.928 --> 0:26:49.408
<v Speaker 2>and business is not.

0:26:49.528 --> 0:26:50.967
<v Speaker 3>What it's all cracked up to be.

0:26:51.168 --> 0:26:53.927
<v Speaker 2>So he was very open about that with me, that

0:26:54.288 --> 0:26:56.808
<v Speaker 2>I'm supposed to be happy. I've got this beautiful wife

0:26:56.848 --> 0:27:00.247
<v Speaker 2>and kids and we live on a beautiful property, and

0:27:00.288 --> 0:27:02.848
<v Speaker 2>it's just I'm just not happy, and I don't know

0:27:02.888 --> 0:27:07.088
<v Speaker 2>what to do. So I took him to hospital, and yeah,

0:27:07.128 --> 0:27:09.528
<v Speaker 2>he spent some time there in the mental health wold.

0:27:10.088 --> 0:27:12.167
<v Speaker 2>I said to him, you need to stay here, get better.

0:27:13.128 --> 0:27:16.288
<v Speaker 2>Once he got discharged from hospital, he came home and

0:27:16.328 --> 0:27:20.407
<v Speaker 2>he was this completely different person, and I'm not saying

0:27:20.448 --> 0:27:21.208
<v Speaker 2>for the better.

0:27:21.848 --> 0:27:25.487
<v Speaker 3>Still making really bizarre decisions. And then he decided he

0:27:25.528 --> 0:27:26.128
<v Speaker 3>wanted to.

0:27:27.088 --> 0:27:29.927
<v Speaker 2>He wanted to build a shed on our property, like

0:27:30.008 --> 0:27:32.048
<v Speaker 2>a man cave that no one else could go into.

0:27:32.208 --> 0:27:33.967
<v Speaker 3>And he's like, I'm going to do it, And so

0:27:34.048 --> 0:27:34.408
<v Speaker 3>he got.

0:27:34.328 --> 0:27:38.808
<v Speaker 2>All the materials together and built this huge, absolutely huge

0:27:39.088 --> 0:27:42.128
<v Speaker 2>shared up the back of our property, and no one

0:27:42.208 --> 0:27:43.848
<v Speaker 2>was allowed to go up there, like the kids weren't

0:27:43.848 --> 0:27:46.328
<v Speaker 2>allowed to go up there. It was padlocked, and I'm like,

0:27:46.368 --> 0:27:48.288
<v Speaker 2>what are you doing up there? And he said, oh,

0:27:48.328 --> 0:27:50.968
<v Speaker 2>it's like my meditation room. I'm going to meditate twice

0:27:51.008 --> 0:27:53.608
<v Speaker 2>a day. I'll get up early in the morning. So

0:27:53.648 --> 0:27:56.008
<v Speaker 2>he would get up at like five thirty and go

0:27:56.248 --> 0:28:00.528
<v Speaker 2>up there till like seven point thirty and meditate, and

0:28:00.568 --> 0:28:02.688
<v Speaker 2>then once the kids would go to bed at night

0:28:02.888 --> 0:28:05.808
<v Speaker 2>at seven point thirty, he'd be up there again meditating

0:28:05.848 --> 0:28:09.048
<v Speaker 2>for two hours. One day, I actually just said to him,

0:28:09.368 --> 0:28:11.648
<v Speaker 2>what are you doing up there? Let's have a conversation

0:28:11.728 --> 0:28:14.407
<v Speaker 2>about it. And he's like, oh, I'm just it's my cave.

0:28:14.608 --> 0:28:16.688
<v Speaker 2>I just don't really want to share with anyone. It's

0:28:16.768 --> 0:28:19.848
<v Speaker 2>my personal space. The shed was locked with like a

0:28:19.968 --> 0:28:22.528
<v Speaker 2>huge big pad lock, so I could never get in

0:28:22.568 --> 0:28:24.088
<v Speaker 2>there to have a look. There were times that I

0:28:24.128 --> 0:28:27.408
<v Speaker 2>had tried to go up there and get in, but

0:28:27.928 --> 0:28:30.288
<v Speaker 2>I needed like a really big pair of bolt cutters

0:28:30.328 --> 0:28:33.167
<v Speaker 2>to do it. Our relationship went from sitting on the

0:28:33.168 --> 0:28:35.768
<v Speaker 2>couch for hours and talking to me being alone on

0:28:35.808 --> 0:28:38.768
<v Speaker 2>the couch every night because he's up there doing god

0:28:38.848 --> 0:28:39.328
<v Speaker 2>knows what.

0:28:39.648 --> 0:28:42.888
<v Speaker 1>Something else had changed after Aaron's time in hospital. While

0:28:42.928 --> 0:28:46.128
<v Speaker 1>he'd always been a curious person and loved deep conversations

0:28:46.128 --> 0:28:49.568
<v Speaker 1>and deep thinking, the questions he started asking morphed and

0:28:49.608 --> 0:28:51.808
<v Speaker 1>his view on the world began to shift.

0:28:51.968 --> 0:28:54.328
<v Speaker 2>He was spending hours up in the shed. He was

0:28:54.368 --> 0:28:56.608
<v Speaker 2>spending hours on the internet up there. He was spending

0:28:56.648 --> 0:28:59.328
<v Speaker 2>hours on the internet. In the bathroom, he was spending

0:28:59.328 --> 0:29:01.848
<v Speaker 2>hours on the internet. When we would go to bed,

0:29:02.208 --> 0:29:05.688
<v Speaker 2>he constantly had his iPad with him. He was constantly

0:29:05.728 --> 0:29:07.448
<v Speaker 2>on the Internet asking.

0:29:07.168 --> 0:29:11.568
<v Speaker 3>Why, how, who? What are we here for? That's not true.

0:29:11.808 --> 0:29:15.968
<v Speaker 2>He became very pessimistic about life, and then we just

0:29:16.048 --> 0:29:21.128
<v Speaker 2>started to have conversations around conspiracy theories. I remember one

0:29:21.208 --> 0:29:23.968
<v Speaker 2>conversation we had one day, which was about the moon landing,

0:29:24.848 --> 0:29:26.808
<v Speaker 2>and he's like, do you know that there's people that

0:29:26.888 --> 0:29:30.048
<v Speaker 2>don't believe in the moon landing, and I'm like, yeah,

0:29:30.168 --> 0:29:33.048
<v Speaker 2>I said, that's old news, Like of course theories it's

0:29:33.088 --> 0:29:35.128
<v Speaker 2>always been that way, Like you know, Red Hot Chili

0:29:35.128 --> 0:29:38.848
<v Speaker 2>Peppers filmed in a Hollywood basement, and he's like, I

0:29:38.888 --> 0:29:41.488
<v Speaker 2>can't believe it. I never never knew that. So it

0:29:41.568 --> 0:29:44.568
<v Speaker 2>started with the moon landing. He kind of went exploring

0:29:44.608 --> 0:29:47.648
<v Speaker 2>with that and was like, holy crap, there's like a

0:29:47.808 --> 0:29:50.288
<v Speaker 2>really big community of people that don't believe in that.

0:29:50.848 --> 0:29:53.048
<v Speaker 2>And then it went to September eleven, and then it

0:29:53.088 --> 0:29:57.568
<v Speaker 2>went to the Pyramids. How did the Pyramids get to Egypt?

0:29:58.088 --> 0:30:02.728
<v Speaker 2>It was probably a process of maybe six months of

0:30:03.568 --> 0:30:08.208
<v Speaker 2>investigating online and just going down this absolute rabbit hole

0:30:08.448 --> 0:30:15.288
<v Speaker 2>of conspiracy and qann and like really really dangerous stuff,

0:30:15.808 --> 0:30:18.808
<v Speaker 2>you know, And we'd still have conversations around conspiracy theories.

0:30:18.848 --> 0:30:22.768
<v Speaker 2>I'm very flexible and love hearing about people's belief systems

0:30:22.808 --> 0:30:27.648
<v Speaker 2>as well, so we still occasionally had conversations around what

0:30:27.768 --> 0:30:30.488
<v Speaker 2>he's looking up and you know this didn't happen and

0:30:30.528 --> 0:30:34.808
<v Speaker 2>watch this video and they're crisis actors, and you know,

0:30:34.848 --> 0:30:38.928
<v Speaker 2>he was even researching like the crisis actors in all

0:30:38.928 --> 0:30:41.928
<v Speaker 2>these different world events that had happened.

0:30:42.048 --> 0:30:44.728
<v Speaker 3>So I was just like, okay, kind of just let

0:30:44.808 --> 0:30:46.848
<v Speaker 3>him go. He's on a tangent at the moment.

0:30:48.008 --> 0:30:51.728
<v Speaker 2>So it started off as an interest, which I was

0:30:52.048 --> 0:30:56.008
<v Speaker 2>fully supportive of, and then it became his belief system.

0:30:56.808 --> 0:30:59.808
<v Speaker 2>He never had solid belief systems. He was very flexible

0:30:59.848 --> 0:31:03.208
<v Speaker 2>in his thinking, so he was interested in a lot

0:31:03.208 --> 0:31:05.448
<v Speaker 2>of other people's belief systems to try and I think

0:31:05.448 --> 0:31:07.848
<v Speaker 2>he was trying to work out his own. And then

0:31:07.968 --> 0:31:11.608
<v Speaker 2>finally he found something that's it's with him and that

0:31:11.728 --> 0:31:14.728
<v Speaker 2>the whole world is a stage and where just players

0:31:14.728 --> 0:31:18.288
<v Speaker 2>in it. And then it actually became a complete and

0:31:18.368 --> 0:31:19.408
<v Speaker 2>utter obsession.

0:31:19.568 --> 0:31:21.768
<v Speaker 3>He was obsessed with it. It was day night.

0:31:22.768 --> 0:31:27.328
<v Speaker 2>He really started to latch on to these conspiracy theories

0:31:27.368 --> 0:31:32.928
<v Speaker 2>around the Holocaust, Sandy Hook nine to eleven, the news.

0:31:33.048 --> 0:31:34.808
<v Speaker 2>Every time the news came on, he'd get up and

0:31:34.808 --> 0:31:37.488
<v Speaker 2>switch the TV off. He's like listening to that rubbish

0:31:37.528 --> 0:31:39.648
<v Speaker 2>and putting rubbish in our kids' ears.

0:31:39.688 --> 0:31:41.808
<v Speaker 3>And then it went to flat Earth.

0:31:42.288 --> 0:31:45.328
<v Speaker 2>Flat Earth was actually the biggest community that he became

0:31:45.368 --> 0:31:48.528
<v Speaker 2>a part of, and it was even to the point

0:31:48.528 --> 0:31:51.288
<v Speaker 2>where I rang his mum and said, oh, look, I'm

0:31:51.328 --> 0:31:53.168
<v Speaker 2>actually really worried about him, and she said, oh, no,

0:31:53.248 --> 0:31:56.048
<v Speaker 2>it's just a phase he's going through. He'll snap out

0:31:56.088 --> 0:31:59.728
<v Speaker 2>of it. He's done this before. I was like, really, well,

0:31:59.768 --> 0:32:02.448
<v Speaker 2>not since we've been married. And She's like, as a child,

0:32:02.528 --> 0:32:04.768
<v Speaker 2>he used to go on tangents about the world and

0:32:05.408 --> 0:32:08.448
<v Speaker 2>death and things like that. Don't worry, he'll come back around.

0:32:08.608 --> 0:32:12.568
<v Speaker 2>So I'm kind of holding on to hope that I'm

0:32:12.608 --> 0:32:18.128
<v Speaker 2>going to get my amazing husband back. He got T

0:32:18.288 --> 0:32:22.808
<v Speaker 2>shirts printed with hashtag flat earth and was wearing them everywhere,

0:32:23.088 --> 0:32:26.568
<v Speaker 2>like to barbecues, to the school with the kids, and

0:32:26.608 --> 0:32:28.968
<v Speaker 2>again the resentment started to build up, and I'm like,

0:32:29.048 --> 0:32:33.088
<v Speaker 2>you are not wearing flat earth T shirts to the kids' school.

0:32:33.608 --> 0:32:36.128
<v Speaker 2>He's like, you can't tell me what to wear. We'd

0:32:36.128 --> 0:32:39.968
<v Speaker 2>go to barbecues, he'd be cornering people. He was trying

0:32:40.048 --> 0:32:43.768
<v Speaker 2>to recruit people in the town we were living in,

0:32:44.408 --> 0:32:46.888
<v Speaker 2>and then everybody in town started to think, oh my gosh,

0:32:46.888 --> 0:32:51.048
<v Speaker 2>this dude's gone crazy. So there then not only did

0:32:51.088 --> 0:32:55.128
<v Speaker 2>I have resentment, I started to be embarrassed and filled

0:32:55.128 --> 0:32:58.288
<v Speaker 2>with shame of like I had this amazing man and

0:32:58.368 --> 0:33:02.808
<v Speaker 2>now he's just the town crazy. So I was constantly

0:33:02.848 --> 0:33:06.608
<v Speaker 2>starting to apologize for his behavior. Everywhere we went it

0:33:06.728 --> 0:33:09.968
<v Speaker 2>was oh, sorry, and then I'd be like, okay, and

0:33:10.128 --> 0:33:13.728
<v Speaker 2>I've got to take you home now because it's getting ridiculous.

0:33:14.408 --> 0:33:17.208
<v Speaker 2>I consistently said to him, it's great that you've got

0:33:17.208 --> 0:33:20.488
<v Speaker 2>this belief system, but you've got to stop trying to

0:33:20.528 --> 0:33:21.888
<v Speaker 2>put it on to other people.

0:33:21.928 --> 0:33:23.328
<v Speaker 3>And then he's, Oh, you're all.

0:33:23.328 --> 0:33:27.688
<v Speaker 2>Asleep and no one's awake, and I have to tell

0:33:27.728 --> 0:33:29.008
<v Speaker 2>everybody that they're asleep.

0:33:29.528 --> 0:33:32.528
<v Speaker 3>It was who have I married? This was not in

0:33:32.568 --> 0:33:33.128
<v Speaker 3>the brochure.

0:33:34.368 --> 0:33:36.928
<v Speaker 1>While Ava didn't share the same thoughts, she tried to

0:33:36.928 --> 0:33:39.328
<v Speaker 1>be as supportive as she could while Aaron went through

0:33:39.368 --> 0:33:42.808
<v Speaker 1>this personal journey. She thought, or hoped, as his mum

0:33:42.848 --> 0:33:45.168
<v Speaker 1>had said, it was a face, a self discovery of

0:33:45.208 --> 0:33:48.728
<v Speaker 1>sorts to help him heal and find himself then come back.

0:33:49.288 --> 0:33:52.248
<v Speaker 1>But he didn't. Over the next two years, he only

0:33:52.248 --> 0:33:55.728
<v Speaker 1>got deeper into the conspiracies, the community he'd found online,

0:33:56.008 --> 0:33:58.328
<v Speaker 1>and further away from the man she'd known for eight

0:33:58.408 --> 0:33:59.048
<v Speaker 1>years prior.

0:33:59.448 --> 0:34:01.448
<v Speaker 3>My self esteem was obviously rock bottom.

0:34:01.528 --> 0:34:06.368
<v Speaker 2>Here I am trying to manage three kids, working full time,

0:34:06.528 --> 0:34:11.687
<v Speaker 2>paying our mortgage because he's busy this breakdown, and you know,

0:34:11.768 --> 0:34:16.928
<v Speaker 2>googling conspiracies, so again, resentment building up just to the

0:34:16.968 --> 0:34:20.448
<v Speaker 2>point where I think I avoided I was just avoiding

0:34:21.008 --> 0:34:23.167
<v Speaker 2>having to have the conversation. I knew what I had

0:34:23.168 --> 0:34:26.008
<v Speaker 2>to do, I absolutely knew what I had to do,

0:34:26.088 --> 0:34:30.648
<v Speaker 2>but I just couldn't even bring myself to say those words,

0:34:31.128 --> 0:34:33.488
<v Speaker 2>because I just was hoping he would get better and

0:34:33.528 --> 0:34:36.408
<v Speaker 2>that it was just a phase and he might come

0:34:36.448 --> 0:34:39.408
<v Speaker 2>out the other end. We did have a conversation one

0:34:39.448 --> 0:34:41.768
<v Speaker 2>day where I said, is this it is this who

0:34:41.808 --> 0:34:45.207
<v Speaker 2>you are now? And he said, yes, it is, and

0:34:45.728 --> 0:34:48.768
<v Speaker 2>you either deal with it, put up with it, or

0:34:48.848 --> 0:34:52.328
<v Speaker 2>you leave. So he again had given me this really

0:34:52.408 --> 0:34:55.848
<v Speaker 2>random ultimatum of do this or then you got to

0:34:55.888 --> 0:34:58.527
<v Speaker 2>do that. So I was in a position where I

0:34:58.568 --> 0:35:01.768
<v Speaker 2>said to him, well, this wasn't in the brochure, and

0:35:02.248 --> 0:35:05.008
<v Speaker 2>you are not the man I'm married, and I need

0:35:05.048 --> 0:35:08.608
<v Speaker 2>to work out whether I'm okay with this, And to

0:35:08.688 --> 0:35:11.448
<v Speaker 2>be honest, the man that I've known over the past

0:35:11.448 --> 0:35:16.928
<v Speaker 2>two years is not really someone I like who has

0:35:16.968 --> 0:35:19.768
<v Speaker 2>the same belief systems as me anymore. That's what we

0:35:20.608 --> 0:35:23.488
<v Speaker 2>our whole relationship grew on, was you know, having these

0:35:23.488 --> 0:35:26.328
<v Speaker 2>same belief systems and now you are a completely different person.

0:35:26.328 --> 0:35:29.247
<v Speaker 2>And I need to work out whether that's actually someone

0:35:29.328 --> 0:35:31.928
<v Speaker 2>I want to be with anymore. So he was very

0:35:31.928 --> 0:35:35.008
<v Speaker 2>blase about it. Oh well, you let me know once

0:35:35.008 --> 0:35:40.047
<v Speaker 2>you make that decision. I was probably most devastated that

0:35:40.088 --> 0:35:41.208
<v Speaker 2>he wasn't fighting for me.

0:35:41.528 --> 0:35:42.567
<v Speaker 3>There was no apology.

0:35:42.648 --> 0:35:45.208
<v Speaker 2>I'm sorry, I've gone down this path and I'm dragging

0:35:45.248 --> 0:35:48.728
<v Speaker 2>you with me while I try and work out where.

0:35:48.488 --> 0:35:49.728
<v Speaker 3>My place is in the world.

0:35:50.368 --> 0:35:54.008
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, it was soul destroying, really really hard to reconcile.

0:35:54.048 --> 0:35:56.288
<v Speaker 2>But I had my kids, and you know, I had

0:35:56.328 --> 0:35:59.608
<v Speaker 2>a good support network. I just couldn't make that step

0:35:59.848 --> 0:36:03.567
<v Speaker 2>to say we're done. Yeah, it just wasn't easy to

0:36:03.608 --> 0:36:07.208
<v Speaker 2>walk away because I knew the man that he was,

0:36:07.648 --> 0:36:10.728
<v Speaker 2>and I guess I was going through a green process

0:36:10.808 --> 0:36:15.568
<v Speaker 2>of losing him while he's still sharing my bed and

0:36:15.808 --> 0:36:18.848
<v Speaker 2>you know, eating dinner with us, and you know, spending

0:36:18.888 --> 0:36:22.128
<v Speaker 2>time with us. I was absolutely going through a grief process,

0:36:23.008 --> 0:36:25.888
<v Speaker 2>and it was so hard to cut the tires because

0:36:27.128 --> 0:36:31.088
<v Speaker 2>grieving someone that's still there every single day is extremely

0:36:31.168 --> 0:36:33.848
<v Speaker 2>hard to do. And I just couldn't get to that

0:36:34.048 --> 0:36:38.808
<v Speaker 2>final acceptance stage of grief where I had the strength

0:36:38.848 --> 0:36:41.608
<v Speaker 2>to walk away. So, yeah, I was still stuck in

0:36:41.648 --> 0:36:45.608
<v Speaker 2>this denial cycle, you know, the bargaining kind of cycle

0:36:45.688 --> 0:36:48.008
<v Speaker 2>of grief as well of like, oh well, maybe if

0:36:48.048 --> 0:36:50.848
<v Speaker 2>I just wait a couple of months longer, he'll snap.

0:36:50.568 --> 0:36:50.968
<v Speaker 3>Out of it.

0:36:51.048 --> 0:36:55.047
<v Speaker 2>That was a very common common phrase I would say

0:36:55.048 --> 0:36:57.567
<v Speaker 2>to myself, and his family were saying that to me as.

0:36:57.488 --> 0:36:59.928
<v Speaker 3>Well, he'll snap out of it. But there just didn't

0:36:59.968 --> 0:37:01.607
<v Speaker 3>seem to be a point that he was going to.

0:37:03.088 --> 0:37:07.567
<v Speaker 2>And then things started to get really really strange. I

0:37:07.648 --> 0:37:10.488
<v Speaker 2>was at home one day and a part Russell was

0:37:10.528 --> 0:37:16.448
<v Speaker 2>delivered and I opened it up and it was about

0:37:16.488 --> 0:37:20.968
<v Speaker 2>ten books of black magic and a cape, a black

0:37:21.008 --> 0:37:24.607
<v Speaker 2>cape with a hood. I started to flick through some

0:37:24.648 --> 0:37:27.047
<v Speaker 2>of the books that had arrived, and there's all these

0:37:27.128 --> 0:37:32.608
<v Speaker 2>spells and just really really bizarre stuff in this book.

0:37:33.088 --> 0:37:37.248
<v Speaker 2>He came home and I said, what the heck is this?

0:37:37.968 --> 0:37:40.688
<v Speaker 2>And he's like, oh, that's my magic stuff. And I

0:37:40.728 --> 0:37:43.567
<v Speaker 2>said what do you mean magic? And he's like, I'm

0:37:43.968 --> 0:37:48.008
<v Speaker 2>delving into black magic. And I said, well, what does

0:37:48.048 --> 0:37:51.448
<v Speaker 2>that even mean? And he's like, oh, you know, if

0:37:51.528 --> 0:37:53.808
<v Speaker 2>you've got someone that's annoying you at work, like I

0:37:53.848 --> 0:37:58.168
<v Speaker 2>can do something about it. I said what do you

0:37:58.208 --> 0:38:00.408
<v Speaker 2>mean and he's like, oh, well, if you can get

0:38:00.488 --> 0:38:02.808
<v Speaker 2>one of their hairs. I can put it in the

0:38:02.808 --> 0:38:06.207
<v Speaker 2>freezer and I won't kill them, but I'll make sure

0:38:06.248 --> 0:38:09.928
<v Speaker 2>that they have a really difficult life moving forward. I'm

0:38:09.968 --> 0:38:15.088
<v Speaker 2>thinking he's actually lost the plot. So at that point,

0:38:15.808 --> 0:38:18.047
<v Speaker 2>that's where humor started to come into it for me,

0:38:18.208 --> 0:38:23.448
<v Speaker 2>because I just couldn't even reconcile that he's ordering capes

0:38:23.488 --> 0:38:29.527
<v Speaker 2>and magic books online. How far fetched and how ridiculous.

0:38:30.288 --> 0:38:32.448
<v Speaker 2>This just could not get any more ridiculous. So my

0:38:32.488 --> 0:38:35.328
<v Speaker 2>group of friends and I started to actually laugh about it,

0:38:35.368 --> 0:38:37.888
<v Speaker 2>like it started to become comical.

0:38:38.288 --> 0:38:40.728
<v Speaker 1>I've had well and truly checked out of the marriage.

0:38:40.848 --> 0:38:43.808
<v Speaker 1>They were living separate lives in every way possible, So

0:38:43.888 --> 0:38:47.328
<v Speaker 1>what would it take to make her finally break the spell.

0:38:47.888 --> 0:38:51.888
<v Speaker 2>We're probably coming on three years now of him not

0:38:51.968 --> 0:38:55.408
<v Speaker 2>snapping out of it, and so this was our tenth

0:38:55.488 --> 0:38:58.128
<v Speaker 2>year of marriage. He said to me, Oh, I'm going

0:38:58.168 --> 0:39:00.448
<v Speaker 2>to go to my mate's house and have a boy's night.

0:39:01.208 --> 0:39:03.368
<v Speaker 2>Is that okay? And I said, oh, go dock your

0:39:03.408 --> 0:39:06.568
<v Speaker 2>sucks off like it. Finally someone in town had invited

0:39:06.608 --> 0:39:09.728
<v Speaker 2>him over, and I thought, this, this is good. You know,

0:39:09.768 --> 0:39:12.928
<v Speaker 2>he needs to have connections with people that are not

0:39:13.048 --> 0:39:17.808
<v Speaker 2>conspiracy based. So anyway, Aaron went to this guy's house

0:39:17.848 --> 0:39:21.928
<v Speaker 2>and this guy has like a dartboard and table, tennis

0:39:21.968 --> 0:39:24.488
<v Speaker 2>table and pool table and had invited a whole bunch

0:39:24.488 --> 0:39:27.688
<v Speaker 2>of guys over so they had drinks. Anyway, Aaron didn't

0:39:27.688 --> 0:39:30.248
<v Speaker 2>get home until ten am the next morning, and I

0:39:30.288 --> 0:39:33.408
<v Speaker 2>was thinking, Wow, that's like, that's a bloody good night.

0:39:34.088 --> 0:39:36.087
<v Speaker 2>But I was also really happy, like it didn't bother

0:39:36.168 --> 0:39:37.888
<v Speaker 2>me that he came home at that time. I was

0:39:37.928 --> 0:39:39.808
<v Speaker 2>actually happy because I thought he must have had a

0:39:39.808 --> 0:39:41.808
<v Speaker 2>really good night with all of the boys in town.

0:39:42.528 --> 0:39:47.368
<v Speaker 2>But he was really really quiet and just wanted to

0:39:47.368 --> 0:39:50.648
<v Speaker 2>go to bed and wouldn't talk about the night or

0:39:50.688 --> 0:39:51.408
<v Speaker 2>anything else.

0:39:51.648 --> 0:39:53.248
<v Speaker 3>And I said to him, I'm not upset that you

0:39:54.328 --> 0:39:56.328
<v Speaker 3>went out. I think it's really good, and he goes, yeah, yeah,

0:39:56.328 --> 0:39:57.808
<v Speaker 3>I just you know, I just don't want to talk

0:39:57.848 --> 0:39:58.248
<v Speaker 3>about it.

0:39:58.488 --> 0:40:02.568
<v Speaker 2>About two weeks later, I get a text message from

0:40:02.968 --> 0:40:06.087
<v Speaker 2>the guy who's had the party at the house and

0:40:06.248 --> 0:40:09.928
<v Speaker 2>he said, I need to talk to you urgently. And

0:40:10.008 --> 0:40:13.047
<v Speaker 2>I said, okay, what is everything okay? And he said, no,

0:40:13.128 --> 0:40:16.128
<v Speaker 2>not really. Can you come and meet me for a coffee.

0:40:17.088 --> 0:40:20.848
<v Speaker 2>So the next day I went and met him for

0:40:20.888 --> 0:40:24.087
<v Speaker 2>a coffee in town with him and his wife, And

0:40:24.808 --> 0:40:27.008
<v Speaker 2>at that time, I kind of thought, oh gosh, something

0:40:27.048 --> 0:40:29.648
<v Speaker 2>happened at the kids' school because the kids were friends,

0:40:29.928 --> 0:40:31.848
<v Speaker 2>so these were actually our friends in town, and I

0:40:31.888 --> 0:40:35.288
<v Speaker 2>thought something had happened with the kids, maybe they'd had

0:40:35.288 --> 0:40:37.888
<v Speaker 2>a fight at school or something. So, you know, I

0:40:37.928 --> 0:40:40.087
<v Speaker 2>was preparing myself for that. But I walk into this

0:40:40.568 --> 0:40:43.768
<v Speaker 2>coffee shop and there he is with his wife, and

0:40:43.808 --> 0:40:48.207
<v Speaker 2>his wife is hysterical crying, and I was just saying,

0:40:48.208 --> 0:40:49.808
<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, what the hell's going on?

0:40:50.168 --> 0:40:52.448
<v Speaker 1>Remember the night of the party when Aaron didn't get

0:40:52.488 --> 0:40:55.248
<v Speaker 1>home until ten am, Well, that night he crossed a

0:40:55.288 --> 0:40:59.168
<v Speaker 1>line that can't be uncrossed. An allegation of assault was made,

0:40:59.248 --> 0:41:01.288
<v Speaker 1>and for Ava, that changed everything.

0:41:04.368 --> 0:41:09.368
<v Speaker 2>Well, I nearly dropped my cappuccino and just absolutely burst

0:41:09.408 --> 0:41:11.368
<v Speaker 2>into two And they're like, we're so sorry.

0:41:11.888 --> 0:41:13.727
<v Speaker 3>We know what you've been going through with him.

0:41:14.408 --> 0:41:17.488
<v Speaker 2>We know you're really struggling with him at the moment

0:41:17.528 --> 0:41:20.008
<v Speaker 2>with a lot of stuff going on, and we just

0:41:20.088 --> 0:41:23.688
<v Speaker 2>didn't want to have to add to your problems. So

0:41:25.288 --> 0:41:30.608
<v Speaker 2>I came home and Aaron was sitting on the balcony

0:41:30.608 --> 0:41:35.088
<v Speaker 2>and said to me, where have you been? And I said,

0:41:35.728 --> 0:41:39.728
<v Speaker 2>pack your bags, you've got ten minutes. I knew that

0:41:39.768 --> 0:41:42.768
<v Speaker 2>the marriage was over. There was no doubt that I

0:41:42.808 --> 0:41:45.368
<v Speaker 2>was going to have to walk away from that. All

0:41:45.408 --> 0:41:48.888
<v Speaker 2>of that strength and everything that I was lacking previously

0:41:49.128 --> 0:41:50.248
<v Speaker 2>just came over me.

0:41:50.328 --> 0:41:50.928
<v Speaker 3>I had this.

0:41:50.888 --> 0:41:55.568
<v Speaker 2>Overwhelming feeling of I didn't even hesitate. There was no fighting,

0:41:55.608 --> 0:41:57.688
<v Speaker 2>there was no yelling, there was no screaming. It was

0:41:57.768 --> 0:42:01.288
<v Speaker 2>just pack your stuff and get out. So that was

0:42:01.328 --> 0:42:05.888
<v Speaker 2>really difficult for me because I wanted him to fight

0:42:06.648 --> 0:42:09.288
<v Speaker 2>for me, and he didn't. He literally packed his stuff

0:42:09.328 --> 0:42:14.008
<v Speaker 2>and walked out in ten minutes. And I'm thinking, that's

0:42:14.088 --> 0:42:17.888
<v Speaker 2>ten years of marriage just literally down the gurgle. And

0:42:17.968 --> 0:42:22.488
<v Speaker 2>I have stuck by you through your most difficult time,

0:42:22.688 --> 0:42:27.328
<v Speaker 2>through hoping that you would eventually change, and you're just

0:42:27.408 --> 0:42:32.648
<v Speaker 2>not even sticking by me. Just the value of marriage

0:42:32.648 --> 0:42:35.448
<v Speaker 2>for him was just no longer. He just didn't care.

0:42:35.728 --> 0:42:36.647
<v Speaker 3>To him, it was just.

0:42:36.608 --> 0:42:42.208
<v Speaker 2>Another institution that he was stuck in, along with governments

0:42:42.248 --> 0:42:46.168
<v Speaker 2>and banks and paying taxes, and marriage to him was

0:42:46.288 --> 0:42:47.448
<v Speaker 2>just another institution.

0:42:48.648 --> 0:42:50.248
<v Speaker 3>And so my marriage went.

0:42:50.088 --> 0:42:58.448
<v Speaker 2>From this amazing, wonderful, most beautiful love story to being

0:42:58.528 --> 0:43:03.768
<v Speaker 2>over in literally ten minutes. I always knew the first

0:43:03.848 --> 0:43:06.368
<v Speaker 2>day was going to be the worst. And for any

0:43:06.408 --> 0:43:08.728
<v Speaker 2>of my friends that have separated since I have, I

0:43:08.808 --> 0:43:10.808
<v Speaker 2>always say to them day one is the worst, and

0:43:10.848 --> 0:43:13.288
<v Speaker 2>it is. I just gave myself space to be in

0:43:13.288 --> 0:43:16.808
<v Speaker 2>the fetal position and cry and grief. I could finally

0:43:16.848 --> 0:43:19.728
<v Speaker 2>get to that point of the grief cycle, that acceptance.

0:43:19.808 --> 0:43:22.167
<v Speaker 3>This is it now and this has happened, and I'm

0:43:22.168 --> 0:43:22.928
<v Speaker 3>going to be okay.

0:43:23.008 --> 0:43:25.848
<v Speaker 2>I've got you know, amazing people around you know, I

0:43:25.928 --> 0:43:27.768
<v Speaker 2>might even have an easier life.

0:43:27.888 --> 0:43:29.688
<v Speaker 3>That's what my hope was.

0:43:30.288 --> 0:43:33.128
<v Speaker 2>It was the week of my fortieth and I was

0:43:33.168 --> 0:43:35.848
<v Speaker 2>having a huge party at my house with like one

0:43:35.928 --> 0:43:39.087
<v Speaker 2>hundred people coming with a DJ and everything. We lived

0:43:39.088 --> 0:43:41.648
<v Speaker 2>on five acres, so I was having a huge, big party.

0:43:42.528 --> 0:43:44.047
<v Speaker 2>Aaron had said to me, I, well, you going to

0:43:44.048 --> 0:43:46.248
<v Speaker 2>cancel the party And I said, no, I'm just going

0:43:46.328 --> 0:43:48.928
<v Speaker 2>to cancel. You coming to it, And I said, I've

0:43:48.928 --> 0:43:52.728
<v Speaker 2>got people flying in into state, I've got DJ, I've

0:43:52.768 --> 0:43:53.728
<v Speaker 2>got catering.

0:43:54.208 --> 0:43:55.448
<v Speaker 3>No, I'm not canceling it.

0:43:55.568 --> 0:43:57.808
<v Speaker 2>So I actually sent out a text message to everyone

0:43:57.848 --> 0:44:00.488
<v Speaker 2>and said, look, this has happened. Aaron and I a

0:44:00.568 --> 0:44:04.408
<v Speaker 2>broken up, but I'm still in the space to celebrate

0:44:04.648 --> 0:44:06.728
<v Speaker 2>a new decade. That's about to begin. It's going to

0:44:06.768 --> 0:44:09.527
<v Speaker 2>be a very different looking decade. I want you all

0:44:09.528 --> 0:44:13.008
<v Speaker 2>to be here. If you feel uncomfortable, I'm okay if

0:44:13.008 --> 0:44:15.888
<v Speaker 2>you don't come, but when you do come, you're.

0:44:15.768 --> 0:44:17.688
<v Speaker 3>Not to talk about it at all.

0:44:17.768 --> 0:44:21.128
<v Speaker 2>And I rang my friend Ben, who was coming to

0:44:21.168 --> 0:44:23.567
<v Speaker 2>the party, and I said, bring a pair of bolt cutters.

0:44:24.208 --> 0:44:26.168
<v Speaker 2>He said why, and I said, We're going to go

0:44:26.208 --> 0:44:29.808
<v Speaker 2>into that shed. I had the best freaking night. It

0:44:29.928 --> 0:44:32.808
<v Speaker 2>was a really really good night. Yeah, we did speeches

0:44:32.888 --> 0:44:35.728
<v Speaker 2>and it was amazing. Had the best night. And because

0:44:35.728 --> 0:44:37.848
<v Speaker 2>I lived on property, a lot of people bought their

0:44:37.888 --> 0:44:42.168
<v Speaker 2>caravans and swags and tents and things. And in the

0:44:42.208 --> 0:44:45.008
<v Speaker 2>morning when we woke up, because Ben was there with

0:44:45.088 --> 0:44:48.768
<v Speaker 2>his caravan, we were all sitting around having breakfast outside

0:44:48.808 --> 0:44:51.488
<v Speaker 2>and he went down to the van and came back

0:44:51.528 --> 0:44:53.128
<v Speaker 2>to the breakfast table and he's like, what do you

0:44:53.168 --> 0:44:55.647
<v Speaker 2>want these bolt cutters for? And I'm like, all right,

0:44:55.688 --> 0:44:59.647
<v Speaker 2>everyone there was eleven of us. Let's go, We're going

0:44:59.648 --> 0:45:03.408
<v Speaker 2>to the shed. Everyone was so excited because everyone had

0:45:03.448 --> 0:45:06.448
<v Speaker 2>heard about this shed for years and no one knew

0:45:06.448 --> 0:45:09.408
<v Speaker 2>what was in there. So we were like, let's go.

0:45:09.848 --> 0:45:12.488
<v Speaker 2>We race up to the back of the property. Ben

0:45:12.568 --> 0:45:15.888
<v Speaker 2>gets the bolt cutters, snaps off the lock. We throw

0:45:15.968 --> 0:45:21.288
<v Speaker 2>the doors open, and oh, my gosh, well, the first

0:45:21.288 --> 0:45:25.888
<v Speaker 2>thing I saw was a big pentagon painted onto.

0:45:25.848 --> 0:45:26.768
<v Speaker 3>The concrete slab.

0:45:27.528 --> 0:45:32.368
<v Speaker 2>There were all these black drap curtains and piles of

0:45:32.408 --> 0:45:36.248
<v Speaker 2>his magic books. There was the diary that we got

0:45:36.288 --> 0:45:40.248
<v Speaker 2>stuck into and read. There was a tree of life

0:45:40.288 --> 0:45:43.728
<v Speaker 2>with all pictures of our dead relatives hanging off this

0:45:43.848 --> 0:45:47.368
<v Speaker 2>tree of life, like he'd gone and got photos printed

0:45:47.408 --> 0:45:51.328
<v Speaker 2>of them to hang off this tree. There was the

0:45:51.368 --> 0:45:56.288
<v Speaker 2>wand there was all these like mixing glasses. It was

0:45:56.368 --> 0:45:58.848
<v Speaker 2>like he had been making potions and things like that.

0:45:58.928 --> 0:46:04.047
<v Speaker 2>It was just absolutely creepy. We all went through his

0:46:04.208 --> 0:46:06.968
<v Speaker 2>stuff and just could not be I just could not

0:46:07.048 --> 0:46:11.168
<v Speaker 2>believe what I was seeing. We're even reading through his

0:46:11.328 --> 0:46:16.968
<v Speaker 2>diary and he's predicting everybody's death, and one girl who

0:46:17.048 --> 0:46:19.528
<v Speaker 2>was with us at the time, he had predicted her death,

0:46:19.568 --> 0:46:22.928
<v Speaker 2>which was like two weeks down the track, and so

0:46:23.048 --> 0:46:26.168
<v Speaker 2>we were just like, this is ridiculous. In the diary,

0:46:26.288 --> 0:46:29.328
<v Speaker 2>he was even referring to himself as a completely different name,

0:46:29.608 --> 0:46:30.928
<v Speaker 2>like this Latin name.

0:46:32.128 --> 0:46:34.608
<v Speaker 3>So yeah, things started.

0:46:34.168 --> 0:46:39.288
<v Speaker 2>To get really really bizarre, And again I was filled

0:46:39.288 --> 0:46:43.008
<v Speaker 2>with shame and embarrassment. There was eleven of my friends there,

0:46:43.648 --> 0:46:47.848
<v Speaker 2>you know, unbolting the door and seeing this really creepy

0:46:48.328 --> 0:46:49.608
<v Speaker 2>random space.

0:46:50.648 --> 0:46:53.648
<v Speaker 1>Ava needed to not only get out, but away from

0:46:53.888 --> 0:46:57.647
<v Speaker 1>whatever this was. After a decade with three children in toe,

0:46:57.768 --> 0:47:00.248
<v Speaker 1>she packed everything and moved back to the city she'd

0:47:00.288 --> 0:47:03.328
<v Speaker 1>originally come from. But as she did so, Aaron still

0:47:03.368 --> 0:47:06.127
<v Speaker 1>had one more blow to deliver. While Ava had come

0:47:06.168 --> 0:47:08.607
<v Speaker 1>to terms with the fact she'd never understand why he'd

0:47:08.608 --> 0:47:11.968
<v Speaker 1>become like this, she did have one more question. Did

0:47:11.968 --> 0:47:12.728
<v Speaker 1>he still love her?

0:47:13.568 --> 0:47:17.567
<v Speaker 2>He was of the mindset that you only have one

0:47:17.568 --> 0:47:22.328
<v Speaker 2>true love. He would label me as his life creator partner,

0:47:22.888 --> 0:47:27.167
<v Speaker 2>and then eventually he'll meet his twin flame. He had

0:47:28.048 --> 0:47:31.648
<v Speaker 2>this whole plan of you were just here to make babies.

0:47:32.248 --> 0:47:35.408
<v Speaker 2>You're here because you're my obsession, and I will eventually

0:47:35.448 --> 0:47:37.928
<v Speaker 2>meet my twin flame who I'll spend the rest of

0:47:37.928 --> 0:47:40.047
<v Speaker 2>my life with. I rang his mum and I said,

0:47:40.048 --> 0:47:42.127
<v Speaker 2>you've got to go and scoop him up and take

0:47:42.168 --> 0:47:45.968
<v Speaker 2>him home, like he needs protecting. He's doing some really

0:47:46.288 --> 0:47:52.088
<v Speaker 2>stupid things that are dangerous and abnormal, and you guys

0:47:52.128 --> 0:47:55.048
<v Speaker 2>need to help him. And I said, he's not stapping

0:47:55.048 --> 0:47:57.087
<v Speaker 2>out of it. Let's just be clear about that. It's

0:47:57.128 --> 0:47:59.488
<v Speaker 2>been three years that we've put up with this crap.

0:48:00.168 --> 0:48:02.567
<v Speaker 2>As his parents, you need to go and scoop him

0:48:02.648 --> 0:48:05.328
<v Speaker 2>up and take him home and make sure he gets

0:48:05.328 --> 0:48:08.168
<v Speaker 2>the support he needs. So they ended up doing that,

0:48:08.848 --> 0:48:14.408
<v Speaker 2>but he was still never admitted into any hospital or

0:48:14.568 --> 0:48:16.368
<v Speaker 2>didn't get any treatment or anything.

0:48:16.408 --> 0:48:16.888
<v Speaker 3>He just.

0:48:18.488 --> 0:48:21.688
<v Speaker 2>Sold our house and then packed up and moved to

0:48:21.768 --> 0:48:24.168
<v Speaker 2>the city I was in so he could continue to

0:48:24.208 --> 0:48:27.008
<v Speaker 2>see the kids. But there was a stage there where

0:48:27.048 --> 0:48:31.208
<v Speaker 2>I had to really reconcile whether I wanted him to

0:48:31.248 --> 0:48:32.448
<v Speaker 2>see the kids and.

0:48:32.568 --> 0:48:36.368
<v Speaker 3>Whether that was a good idea or were they at risk.

0:48:36.888 --> 0:48:38.968
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, there was quite a period of time there

0:48:39.008 --> 0:48:42.568
<v Speaker 2>where I'm like, you need to prove that you're sane

0:48:42.968 --> 0:48:45.168
<v Speaker 2>and able and stable enough to.

0:48:46.928 --> 0:48:47.768
<v Speaker 3>Have them.

0:48:48.288 --> 0:48:50.448
<v Speaker 2>It was very difficult to work out whether I was

0:48:50.488 --> 0:48:53.888
<v Speaker 2>making the right decision. I didn't trust my own decisions

0:48:53.968 --> 0:48:57.127
<v Speaker 2>at the time, and through my separation and divorce, that's

0:48:57.128 --> 0:49:01.047
<v Speaker 2>been probably the number one thing that I've struggled dealing with,

0:49:01.208 --> 0:49:04.648
<v Speaker 2>is trusting your own emotions and trusting your own decisions.

0:49:04.848 --> 0:49:07.408
<v Speaker 3>And yeah, I thought I'd just I'm going to have

0:49:07.408 --> 0:49:07.968
<v Speaker 3>to give it a try.

0:49:08.048 --> 0:49:09.448
<v Speaker 2>And I'm going to have to leave it up to

0:49:09.448 --> 0:49:11.607
<v Speaker 2>the kidskids as well, they were you know, they were

0:49:11.608 --> 0:49:14.047
<v Speaker 2>getting older, as long as I gave them phones where

0:49:14.048 --> 0:49:17.527
<v Speaker 2>they were able to contact me if they needed it.

0:49:17.648 --> 0:49:20.888
<v Speaker 2>Just started with you know, maybe spending going out for dinner,

0:49:21.608 --> 0:49:24.208
<v Speaker 2>spending one night, and then it went to two nights

0:49:24.368 --> 0:49:27.768
<v Speaker 2>every second weekend. The therapy that I seeked at the

0:49:27.808 --> 0:49:30.968
<v Speaker 2>start was how am I going to co parent with

0:49:31.128 --> 0:49:31.848
<v Speaker 2>someone that.

0:49:31.768 --> 0:49:34.368
<v Speaker 3>I absolutely hate, absolutely hate?

0:49:34.408 --> 0:49:38.048
<v Speaker 2>And again the grief as well, like trying to unpack

0:49:38.088 --> 0:49:39.968
<v Speaker 2>and process that, how am I going to co parent

0:49:40.408 --> 0:49:43.768
<v Speaker 2>with someone that I'm also grieving but I absolutely hate?

0:49:44.328 --> 0:49:46.688
<v Speaker 2>But then it went to how am I going to

0:49:46.688 --> 0:49:49.087
<v Speaker 2>co parent with someone that I feel so sorry for?

0:49:49.248 --> 0:49:52.567
<v Speaker 2>Like I'm just like, oh my god, at what point

0:49:53.008 --> 0:49:55.288
<v Speaker 2>in your life did you think that all of this

0:49:55.488 --> 0:49:59.168
<v Speaker 2>was a good idea? So that's where I knew that

0:49:59.208 --> 0:50:02.968
<v Speaker 2>I was getting better, because I had turned that you know,

0:50:03.088 --> 0:50:06.768
<v Speaker 2>low self esteem and low self worth and everything into

0:50:07.808 --> 0:50:10.607
<v Speaker 2>I actually feel sorry for you. What a terrible life

0:50:10.688 --> 0:50:14.848
<v Speaker 2>you've led and what a trail of destruction you've left behind,

0:50:14.968 --> 0:50:19.408
<v Speaker 2>And how can you even get to that point? Like

0:50:19.488 --> 0:50:22.928
<v Speaker 2>you've had no one to share or support you or

0:50:22.928 --> 0:50:26.888
<v Speaker 2>protect you or anything. You've just had to navigate that

0:50:27.008 --> 0:50:32.368
<v Speaker 2>whole dump fire like an absolute shit show on your

0:50:32.408 --> 0:50:34.808
<v Speaker 2>own because you just wouldn't let anyone in and you

0:50:34.888 --> 0:50:36.567
<v Speaker 2>thought what you were doing was the right thing.

0:50:36.928 --> 0:50:38.848
<v Speaker 3>I just think it's a really lonely existence.

0:50:40.008 --> 0:50:43.168
<v Speaker 2>I may ears down the track of separation now, and

0:50:42.808 --> 0:50:45.808
<v Speaker 2>it probably took a good couple of years of me

0:50:45.968 --> 0:50:49.808
<v Speaker 2>having to unpack what the hell happened, and.

0:50:50.128 --> 0:50:53.488
<v Speaker 3>You know, seek lots of therapy about my self esteem

0:50:53.568 --> 0:50:55.168
<v Speaker 3>and my worth and my value.

0:50:56.288 --> 0:50:58.848
<v Speaker 2>I have had conversations with him since saying well, did

0:50:58.928 --> 0:51:02.448
<v Speaker 2>you ever really love me? And he's like, I absolutely did,

0:51:02.648 --> 0:51:07.528
<v Speaker 2>I really really loved you. And yeah, he's apologized since

0:51:07.888 --> 0:51:11.567
<v Speaker 2>for taking me on him his journey which was.

0:51:11.528 --> 0:51:12.528
<v Speaker 3>Not a part of mine.

0:51:13.208 --> 0:51:15.648
<v Speaker 2>So still at times it is very hard to reconcile,

0:51:15.728 --> 0:51:17.808
<v Speaker 2>and I've just got to be It's like something that's

0:51:17.848 --> 0:51:21.888
<v Speaker 2>happened to me and it doesn't actually define me. It's

0:51:22.008 --> 0:51:25.328
<v Speaker 2>just a really bizarre experience that I've had in.

0:51:26.008 --> 0:51:27.488
<v Speaker 3>You know, this thing we call life.

0:51:28.008 --> 0:51:31.168
<v Speaker 2>Now, we actually have the most beautiful relationship.

0:51:31.408 --> 0:51:34.567
<v Speaker 3>It's taken a lot of work. We communicate.

0:51:34.688 --> 0:51:37.288
<v Speaker 2>He consistently messages me and tells me you know what

0:51:37.368 --> 0:51:40.408
<v Speaker 2>a beautiful job I'm doing of raising our kids, and

0:51:41.608 --> 0:51:46.288
<v Speaker 2>he has the kids. Often when he's down and visiting

0:51:46.688 --> 0:51:48.808
<v Speaker 2>in our town, we all go out for dinner together.

0:51:50.088 --> 0:51:53.328
<v Speaker 3>Still to this day, he does random things.

0:51:53.408 --> 0:51:55.968
<v Speaker 2>But I think I'm able to reconcile it a little

0:51:56.008 --> 0:51:59.087
<v Speaker 2>bit more because I know he wasn't going to snap

0:51:59.128 --> 0:52:01.248
<v Speaker 2>out of it, and this is who he's become, and

0:52:01.288 --> 0:52:03.968
<v Speaker 2>this is the life he wants to lead, and I

0:52:04.088 --> 0:52:08.167
<v Speaker 2>just have to be accepting if that. Otherwise, resentment does

0:52:08.248 --> 0:52:12.047
<v Speaker 2>eat you up as a And now he has completely

0:52:12.128 --> 0:52:15.768
<v Speaker 2>gone down the spiritual path, and I kind of believe that.

0:52:16.488 --> 0:52:18.608
<v Speaker 2>You know, it's like some people will join a church

0:52:18.648 --> 0:52:20.928
<v Speaker 2>when they've done something really terrible, they will join a

0:52:21.008 --> 0:52:24.047
<v Speaker 2>church and try and find faith that way, or you know,

0:52:24.128 --> 0:52:26.408
<v Speaker 2>you get people that go into the prison system and

0:52:26.528 --> 0:52:30.368
<v Speaker 2>become religious to try and reconcile what they've done. I

0:52:30.368 --> 0:52:33.567
<v Speaker 2>think he's gone down that spiritual path to really try

0:52:33.608 --> 0:52:38.168
<v Speaker 2>and understand or forgive himself and have a reason for

0:52:38.248 --> 0:52:43.047
<v Speaker 2>why he did what he did. So he's really into astrology,

0:52:44.088 --> 0:52:49.128
<v Speaker 2>past life regression, quantum healing, all of the reiki. So

0:52:49.248 --> 0:52:54.728
<v Speaker 2>he's gone from this beer guzzling trade to this absolute

0:52:55.528 --> 0:53:02.448
<v Speaker 2>spiritual guru really into astrology. So sometimes he'll say, avy,

0:53:02.448 --> 0:53:05.488
<v Speaker 2>you're not communicating very well, and it's because mercury.

0:53:05.288 --> 0:53:07.167
<v Speaker 3>Is in retrograde.

0:53:07.608 --> 0:53:10.328
<v Speaker 2>And I'll be like, well, you know, you're an asshole

0:53:10.368 --> 0:53:15.047
<v Speaker 2>because satin is conjunct uranus. Still, I have to use humor. Like,

0:53:15.168 --> 0:53:18.128
<v Speaker 2>even when I'm spending time with him, I just I

0:53:18.288 --> 0:53:20.328
<v Speaker 2>just feel I just feel sorry for him. I can't

0:53:21.048 --> 0:53:24.167
<v Speaker 2>I can't feel anything else anymore, that all those other

0:53:24.168 --> 0:53:28.368
<v Speaker 2>emotions have gone, and I just need to channel the

0:53:28.408 --> 0:53:31.848
<v Speaker 2>sadness that he's probably carrying with him.

0:53:32.768 --> 0:53:34.248
<v Speaker 3>He's got a new partner.

0:53:34.648 --> 0:53:36.687
<v Speaker 2>Actually he's had a few new partners, but this one

0:53:36.888 --> 0:53:40.808
<v Speaker 2>is solid, I think, and they're engaged and they've bought

0:53:40.808 --> 0:53:43.928
<v Speaker 2>a house. But it's just bizarre that the whole institution

0:53:44.088 --> 0:53:47.208
<v Speaker 2>that he was so against, he's now gotten back into it.

0:53:47.368 --> 0:53:49.928
<v Speaker 2>So for me, that's been a little hard to reconcile

0:53:49.968 --> 0:53:53.808
<v Speaker 2>that he was so anti marriage and you know, he's

0:53:53.808 --> 0:53:57.928
<v Speaker 2>gone to do it all again. So that's something that

0:53:57.968 --> 0:54:04.928
<v Speaker 2>I'm currently working on. I take from this whole experience

0:54:05.048 --> 0:54:08.248
<v Speaker 2>that you have to learn the art of forgiveness and

0:54:08.248 --> 0:54:12.208
<v Speaker 2>that everybody is on their own journey. And what upsets

0:54:12.208 --> 0:54:14.607
<v Speaker 2>me the most about my whole story is that he's

0:54:14.648 --> 0:54:16.968
<v Speaker 2>taken me on one of the biggest.

0:54:16.648 --> 0:54:20.888
<v Speaker 3>Journeys I've ever I've ever heard of, you know, from anyone.

0:54:21.048 --> 0:54:21.248
<v Speaker 3>You know.

0:54:21.328 --> 0:54:25.848
<v Speaker 2>This was not a normal marriage breakdown of you know,

0:54:26.048 --> 0:54:28.248
<v Speaker 2>I've fallen in love with someone else, or you know,

0:54:28.328 --> 0:54:32.488
<v Speaker 2>infidelity or gambling or drugs or whatever. So I've I've

0:54:32.488 --> 0:54:35.048
<v Speaker 2>had to learn the art of forgiveness, and in the past,

0:54:35.088 --> 0:54:39.328
<v Speaker 2>I've never been a huge person to really channel that,

0:54:39.608 --> 0:54:44.087
<v Speaker 2>so that's taken a lot of work. And I just

0:54:44.128 --> 0:54:47.087
<v Speaker 2>can't be angry because I lived with anger for you know,

0:54:47.328 --> 0:54:49.567
<v Speaker 2>the first couple of years, and it's just not good

0:54:49.608 --> 0:54:51.448
<v Speaker 2>for you. It's not good for your health, it's not

0:54:51.528 --> 0:54:53.968
<v Speaker 2>good for your work, it's not good You're not a nice.

0:54:53.808 --> 0:54:56.608
<v Speaker 3>Person to be around, it's not good for the kids.

0:54:56.728 --> 0:54:59.527
<v Speaker 2>And yeah, I started to see the effect that that

0:54:59.728 --> 0:55:02.408
<v Speaker 2>was having, and I just I think I literally woke

0:55:02.488 --> 0:55:05.448
<v Speaker 2>up one day and said, I'm not living like this anymore.

0:55:05.488 --> 0:55:07.248
<v Speaker 3>I can't. I literally can't do it.

0:55:07.808 --> 0:55:10.567
<v Speaker 2>So I've managed to, yeah, be able to move on

0:55:10.648 --> 0:55:14.127
<v Speaker 2>and have a really really good life. I have, like

0:55:14.168 --> 0:55:17.488
<v Speaker 2>I said, the most amazing group of women around me,

0:55:17.848 --> 0:55:22.607
<v Speaker 2>really amazing group of friends, Yeah, good family, and I.

0:55:22.528 --> 0:55:23.207
<v Speaker 3>Travel a lot.

0:55:23.288 --> 0:55:26.647
<v Speaker 2>I've got a really really good job, and I've been

0:55:26.688 --> 0:55:28.808
<v Speaker 2>in my job for a really long time, and I'm

0:55:28.928 --> 0:55:31.328
<v Speaker 2>very well looked after, and I've managed to buy my

0:55:31.368 --> 0:55:34.808
<v Speaker 2>own house, and yeah, set up life for the boys

0:55:34.808 --> 0:55:38.008
<v Speaker 2>and I really really well, and yeah, I would consider

0:55:38.048 --> 0:55:41.167
<v Speaker 2>that I'm thriving. Probably one of the things that's made

0:55:41.208 --> 0:55:44.528
<v Speaker 2>it very, very difficult for me to have.

0:55:44.488 --> 0:55:45.608
<v Speaker 3>A relationship again.

0:55:46.648 --> 0:55:49.008
<v Speaker 2>I guess I'm just very scared of, you know, falling

0:55:49.008 --> 0:55:52.048
<v Speaker 2>in love again and someone else taking me on this massive,

0:55:52.128 --> 0:55:55.008
<v Speaker 2>huge rollercoaster ride. Hopefully, one day we'll be able to,

0:55:56.248 --> 0:56:00.607
<v Speaker 2>you know, work out that I'm worthy and does erv love,

0:56:00.768 --> 0:56:02.488
<v Speaker 2>and yeah, we'll see what happens.

0:56:03.048 --> 0:56:04.488
<v Speaker 3>I've got a lot of love to give.

0:56:04.528 --> 0:56:06.527
<v Speaker 2>I'm just not ready to give it yet, but I

0:56:06.688 --> 0:56:09.768
<v Speaker 2>think I'll eventually get there. Not everyone had a love life,

0:56:10.288 --> 0:56:12.408
<v Speaker 2>so I guess I've got to be grateful that. You know,

0:56:12.528 --> 0:56:15.328
<v Speaker 2>some people go through their life never having love, and

0:56:15.608 --> 0:56:17.167
<v Speaker 2>you know what a terrible.

0:56:16.888 --> 0:56:18.448
<v Speaker 3>Lonely existence that would be.

0:56:18.528 --> 0:56:21.768
<v Speaker 2>So I kind of think I got to I got

0:56:21.768 --> 0:56:24.008
<v Speaker 2>to have it for you know, an amazing eight years.

0:56:24.528 --> 0:56:28.168
<v Speaker 2>My hope for him is that he is just settled

0:56:28.208 --> 0:56:31.488
<v Speaker 2>and I always said to him, you know, you're you're

0:56:31.568 --> 0:56:33.768
<v Speaker 2>constantly asking the why about life?

0:56:33.808 --> 0:56:34.567
<v Speaker 3>Why are we here?

0:56:34.888 --> 0:56:37.128
<v Speaker 2>We can't just be here to get married, have children,

0:56:37.168 --> 0:56:39.567
<v Speaker 2>have the white picket fence. There has to be more

0:56:39.608 --> 0:56:43.608
<v Speaker 2>to life. So he's like, what's our role on this planet?

0:56:43.728 --> 0:56:46.928
<v Speaker 2>And I really hope that one day he finds the

0:56:47.008 --> 0:56:48.527
<v Speaker 2>answer that he's been looking for.

0:57:09.168 --> 0:57:11.768
<v Speaker 1>Everyone Has and X is a Minti Media production and

0:57:11.808 --> 0:57:13.008
<v Speaker 1>proudly part of the Mum.

0:57:12.848 --> 0:57:13.608
<v Speaker 3>And mea Network.

0:57:13.848 --> 0:57:16.848
<v Speaker 1>This episode is written and narrated by me Georgia Love,

0:57:16.968 --> 0:57:19.528
<v Speaker 1>produced by Linda Scott. If you have a story you'd

0:57:19.568 --> 0:57:22.208
<v Speaker 1>like to share, email podcast app Momameia dot com dot a.

0:57:22.288 --> 0:57:24.608
<v Speaker 1>You You can support us by following the show in

0:57:24.648 --> 0:57:26.928
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0:57:27.048 --> 0:57:27.408
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