Speaker 1: You're listening to I'm Am A mea podcast.
Speaker 2: Hello and welcome to Unleashed, a podcast for gen X
Speaker 2: women who need a laugh. If your brain is full
Speaker 2: and the world is doing your head in, come sit
Speaker 2: with us.
Speaker 3: Who's on the sofa this week?
Speaker 2: Hi?
Speaker 4: I'm Mary Kustis. I'm an actress and rider.
Speaker 1: Hi I'm Sally hit Worth. I'm an author.
Speaker 5: Hire our great slam fashion.
Speaker 3: Stylist Katmahony comedian.
Speaker 2: Right, So, wherever you are listening, unclencher jaw, clinch your
Speaker 2: pelvic floor, and get.
Speaker 3: Ready to unleash.
Speaker 5: Let's go.
Speaker 3: In my hand, I have the talking stick.
Speaker 2: Yes, So for those new to the show, the talking
Speaker 2: stick means that if you have it in your hand,
Speaker 2: you can talk about anything, any subject.
Speaker 3: And nothing is off limits.
Speaker 2: We will, however, probably interrupt and maybe take the piss
Speaker 2: who wants to start?
Speaker 6: I'll start?
Speaker 3: Okay, here we go, Stary Worth.
Speaker 1: Okay, Cath, I hope you don't mind me speaking for you.
Speaker 1: But to everyone who's listening, Kath went on a date
Speaker 1: this week.
Speaker 2: Cat.
Speaker 3: That is big news. This is big news.
Speaker 1: This is very big news. And the reason I know
Speaker 1: about this is that Kath and I are in a
Speaker 1: group chat together that actually, sorry, you guys aren't in fine,
Speaker 1: they're good, but in fact it's a group chat for writers,
Speaker 1: so it's usually very boring, very rightly. But this week
Speaker 1: Kath who was quite excited about her date. She said
Speaker 1: the date had gone very well. Everyone was very excited
Speaker 1: because the content, as we've said, is not particularly good
Speaker 1: in this chat, and she had some queries about whether
Speaker 1: or not she needed to text him, and the group
Speaker 1: was divided, do you want to walk us through it?
Speaker 2: So I went on this lovely brunch date, you know,
Speaker 2: two hours fifteen minutes. It was fabulous.
Speaker 5: I want to know what does he look like? How
Speaker 5: was the conversation?
Speaker 3: Great hair, oh good.
Speaker 2: Handsome from the UK, So immediately we had all those
Speaker 2: reference points funny, warm, interested, interesting, good style. You know,
Speaker 2: we had like a kiss on the cheek and a
Speaker 2: little squeeze of the hand. But it's I think it's
Speaker 2: been a long time since I've had one of those
Speaker 2: dates where that energy just felt lovely.
Speaker 3: Yeah, so that was a bit.
Speaker 2: Exciting, and you know, I just I'm not chill, so
Speaker 2: I just want to be straight in. Yes, I really
Speaker 2: wanted to text him straight away, but I dropped in
Speaker 2: the group chat to see what the vibe would be
Speaker 2: from the others.
Speaker 4: Nice work.
Speaker 1: So Mons came in strongly producer, mons, do not text
Speaker 1: him first.
Speaker 5: I'm with Mons, Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 1: And then there was the Sally Hipworth side, which was
Speaker 1: saying that we could just thank him for the date,
Speaker 1: make it clear that you're interested, and leave it from there.
Speaker 1: What do you guys think post a good date? Do
Speaker 1: you ever respond or text first?
Speaker 4: I don't like to seem desperate. I just say guys
Speaker 4: like to chase. Let them chase for a minute, you know.
Speaker 5: I think if you're going to text back on the
Speaker 5: same day, it has to be at least a few hours,
Speaker 5: not straight away, because that is too desperate.
Speaker 1: So I think it's about just showing who you are
Speaker 1: from the start to save lots of Have you metcalf?
Speaker 1: I mean she she whill tax him like one hundred
Speaker 1: times in five minutes.
Speaker 5: That's what I'm worried about.
Speaker 1: Well, I was also saying that she shouldn't do that,
Speaker 1: so there's a middle ground.
Speaker 2: All I wanted to say to him was are you in?
Speaker 2: I just need to know you're in, So I texted,
Speaker 2: what did you say?
Speaker 4: Mons?
Speaker 3: Are Producer's not happy.
Speaker 1: No, would we agree then that Sally won.
Speaker 6: I think what we need to do. I feel my
Speaker 6: case is being misrepresented. I produce them here. What I
Speaker 6: said to you was do not text him? Yes, capitals,
Speaker 6: do not text him.
Speaker 1: My favorite bit was where you referred to Kath as
Speaker 1: an elusive deer.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I think it's simple psychology. People attribute more value to
Speaker 6: things that are scarce, So scarcity mindset for this man.
Speaker 6: Men are hunters. I know I sound like I'm in
Speaker 6: the nineteen seventies, but I do. I think this particular man,
Speaker 6: he looks like a spear fisherman. He looks like he
Speaker 6: belongs on an episode of Bear Grills. Right, you need
Speaker 6: to be an elusive deer. You need to be mysterious,
Speaker 6: very busy. He needs to feel the thrill of the hunt.
Speaker 6: You need to make yourself scarce so that he attributes
Speaker 6: more value to you. It's simple psychology.
Speaker 1: Bullshit, Man, do you get hunted?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 6: Deer flee?
Speaker 1: Cath is not a deer a dog. When somebody hunt
Speaker 1: catches a puppy is a rescue puppy. She needs love,
Speaker 1: she needs reassurance, she needs tender heartedness.
Speaker 6: But when a hunter catches a deer sally. They catch
Speaker 6: the deer.
Speaker 3: And journey.
Speaker 6: They mount them above their fireplace, and they go to
Speaker 6: look at my beautiful deer. They go look at my
Speaker 6: prized possession.
Speaker 1: But puppies get love and affection.
Speaker 3: Do you want to be mounted?
Speaker 4: I'm sure she does want.
Speaker 5: I just think that you jump in too quickly to yes.
Speaker 5: I think so you have to slow it down and observe.
Speaker 3: I've been single for a long time.
Speaker 5: It's not the point, not with this guy.
Speaker 6: You're busy, you're beautiful, you're brilliant, you're glamorous. Don't be needy,
Speaker 6: don't need I'd.
Speaker 1: Like to pull back to one of my very well
Speaker 1: made points. I think if you don't mind, the fact
Speaker 1: remains hunters often enjoyed the chase more than the relationship.
Speaker 1: The goal isn't to be elusive, It's to be her
Speaker 1: warm hearted self without handing over her whole nervous system.
Speaker 1: By date three, there is a middle ground here. I
Speaker 1: rest my case.
Speaker 6: I agree. I'm not saying you have to be cold
Speaker 6: or elusive. I'm saying just.
Speaker 4: Delay the communication a little bit and don't be the
Speaker 4: person that seems to be needing, you know, a response
Speaker 4: quickly well.
Speaker 1: We don't have to theorize, because in fact, Kath did
Speaker 1: pick a.
Speaker 6: Side because I knew she would.
Speaker 5: She wouldn't.
Speaker 2: She can't help can end of the day, Let's be clear,
Speaker 2: the whole tide turned Holly Wayne right from Mamma Mia
Speaker 2: out loud is on this group switch switched side.
Speaker 1: She said, I think Sally makes some very good points.
Speaker 2: Mom.
Speaker 1: Sorry, I'm going to have to step away, and I
Speaker 1: will say I did. I was really hard on you, Kat,
Speaker 1: and I pulled it back.
Speaker 6: I said, Kath, you do what makes you happy. It's
Speaker 6: in writing. I'd like to say it's in writing. Can
Speaker 6: you read it out?
Speaker 1: When I said please, you said, if you want to
Speaker 1: sleep with this guy, follow Sally's advice. If you want
Speaker 1: him to marry you, follow mine.
Speaker 2: I spent the afternoon with the phone in the other
Speaker 2: room so that I didn't text him. I'd already started
Speaker 2: to make him in my head a music playlist on Spotify.
Speaker 3: Because I was.
Speaker 1: Neither mons nor I thought that was a good idea.
Speaker 6: I'm just gonna so the last few dates that you've
Speaker 6: been on, you've asked the guy what his star sign was.
Speaker 3: In the first birth time location of birth Yeah.
Speaker 6: On date one this guy, you want to make a
Speaker 6: mixed playlist, like like, what if you just did it
Speaker 6: differently next time.
Speaker 3: I'm trying to do it differently.
Speaker 2: But this is going on text him when it's like today,
Speaker 2: I've not texted him like I wanted to just check
Speaker 2: in this morning.
Speaker 3: I didn't text him.
Speaker 2: I'm doing it differently. I'm doing calf bless calf.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's exactly what we're aiming for. And you know what,
Speaker 1: Mon's it was really nice that in the end, after
Speaker 1: you lost that you were able to come to the
Speaker 1: table with a nice offering, which was she can't help
Speaker 1: being her labrador self.
Speaker 3: It's true.
Speaker 6: Don't listen to me. I'm very old fashioned. You follow
Speaker 6: your pure labrador, crystal loving heart and we're all behind you.
Speaker 5: Yes, we want love for you this year.
Speaker 6: This is your year of love, my year of the
Speaker 6: fire Horse. Yes, the year of Cat's love.
Speaker 3: Labradia.
Speaker 2: I think I did in the chat, did my Labridia?
Speaker 5: Can I just stick please? So as you're not I'm
Speaker 5: a very petty person. I'm going to talk about something
Speaker 5: really petty. Do you ever jump in in a public
Speaker 5: setting situation when someone annoys you? And what would you
Speaker 5: do or do you just sit there and let it
Speaker 5: festa and see patient. I'm opposite as you can tell.
Speaker 5: So I flew from Sydney to Melbourne last week and
Speaker 5: I was in a man sandwich, which I was not
Speaker 5: happy about. Being in the middle seat on my left.
Speaker 5: I had my Asian fellow brother on my right. It
Speaker 5: is like a white dude. Fine, of course I was
Speaker 5: mask arp you know, double mask wipe everything, and they
Speaker 5: looked at me like really weird. Do I give a fuck? No?
Speaker 5: So then the guy my Asian brother starts sniffing from
Speaker 5: but he's not your actual brother. No, no, no, I
Speaker 5: couldn't strike anybody Asian, my brother sisters. So he's he
Speaker 5: has a runny nose, and as you know, I'm gemophobic.
Speaker 5: So I was just like, okay, just just ignore him.
Speaker 5: Put your ear you know, your earphone, so on, listen
Speaker 5: to a podcast, just ignore him. He's fine, he's fine.
Speaker 5: So then after maybe like forty five minutes, I couldn't
Speaker 5: deal with it anymore. I gave him a tissue. I
Speaker 5: got into my bag. Oh, I was like looking for
Speaker 5: the tissue and I gave one to him, and he
Speaker 5: just looked at me like as if I was crazy.
Speaker 5: I was like, he was like, what's this for? And
Speaker 5: I said, for your nose. You've got a running nose,
Speaker 5: have a tissue. So he didn't use it. He just
Speaker 5: put in his pocket and that was it.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 5: I took the tissue and put it in his put
Speaker 5: in his pocket and kept sniffing.
Speaker 4: Oh you been enjoying it.
Speaker 5: Oh my god. I mean it's disgusting. People, Come on, grace.
Speaker 1: You can't give a random man a tissue. He's not
Speaker 1: three year old, he's not your three year old. Did
Speaker 1: you hold it up to his nose and say blow?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 5: But I mean one thing you don't know that do
Speaker 5: you carry tissue around Asian people do?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Then clearly if he was Asian, he had his own tissues,
Speaker 1: so you didn't need to passive aggressively give him a tissue.
Speaker 5: I would call it caring rather than passive.
Speaker 3: I don't think.
Speaker 2: So.
Speaker 5: Do you get annoyed, yes, easily, And what happened.
Speaker 4: Maybe not easily. But I always look for opportunities to
Speaker 4: make myself laugh, like I like to amuse myself.
Speaker 3: Today.
Speaker 4: On the way here, I was standing at the lights.
Speaker 4: There was a woman on a call. She had her
Speaker 4: headphones in and she was talking so loudly next to
Speaker 4: me that I literally said I was looking forward. She
Speaker 4: was right beside me, and I went louder.
Speaker 5: I love that, man.
Speaker 4: I feel like saying, you've been screaming. Firstly, there's a
Speaker 4: microphone attached just right there where your mouths. Why are
Speaker 4: you screaming? It sounded like the wogs in the old
Speaker 4: days when they would call internationally and scream down. I
Speaker 4: was like, why are you screaming? Do we really need
Speaker 4: to hear your conversation? And do you understand the idea
Speaker 4: of volume and you can be heard and technology is
Speaker 4: working for you, But this isn't working for any of us.
Speaker 5: Or they put on speaker film so that everyone can hear,
Speaker 5: so I don't want to hear your conversation.
Speaker 1: That's the kind of thing that would be funny for
Speaker 1: the people around saying louder, especially if they didn't hear.
Speaker 1: But you could bake eye contact and all not and
Speaker 1: be like, yeah, we all feel the same way about this.
Speaker 4: You know, like I'm trying to make a point, but
Speaker 4: I'm trying to make it with a joke.
Speaker 5: Yeah.
Speaker 4: Look, there have been times where I've seen stuff that
Speaker 4: I didn't like, like aggression, yes, and things like that
Speaker 4: where I hate myself if I don't say any Yeah,
Speaker 4: like I think I'm pathetic for not having said it.
Speaker 4: You know, sometimes you've got to step in and say
Speaker 4: something that we just don't know where people's heads are at.
Speaker 5: So yeah, I did that once in Hong Kong. I
Speaker 5: was in a lift. So what happens when I was
Speaker 5: a vote? We have an executive left and you need
Speaker 5: to fop to go up. If you don't have it,
Speaker 5: you can't use it. So one day I went into
Speaker 5: this lyft and I saw this guy, this British guy,
Speaker 5: screaming at the poor little girl who does not speak English.
Speaker 5: So basically he didn't have a fob, so he shouldn't
Speaker 5: use that lyft, but he wanted to use it. So
Speaker 5: he was screaming her so much that I had to
Speaker 5: step in. So I start saying to him, what are
Speaker 5: you doing? And he said, well, you know, do you
Speaker 5: know who I'm I said, I don't fucking know who
Speaker 5: you are. I said, don't scream in my people, and
Speaker 5: then I just went I won't even repeat what I said,
Speaker 5: but I went all out right and then we kicked
Speaker 5: him out. Then the next day when I went into
Speaker 5: the office. All this stuff who worked there start clapping.
Speaker 5: As I was like walking along, I'm like, yeah, I
Speaker 5: see you. I'll protect all of you. And then I
Speaker 5: saw that damn guy. I saw him. Guess what he
Speaker 5: asked me for my number?
Speaker 1: Yes, your phone number? Yes, as a romantic interest. Yes,
Speaker 1: I know What's he like?
Speaker 5: No? And you know what I said to him, Fuck
Speaker 5: off you, dick, and I I just left.
Speaker 3: Was it?
Speaker 5: So sometimes you do have to step in, like Bruce Lee.
Speaker 2: Yeah, sporting events really get up my nose.
Speaker 3: That's why that's when I stepped in. I'll tell you
Speaker 3: about that.
Speaker 2: We had to drive to like Wollongong when I was
Speaker 2: like a schoolholiday for lou to play against this team
Speaker 2: and Low's team were getting smashed and there was this
Speaker 2: kid who wasn't even playing, who was just sort of
Speaker 2: stood behind the goalpost. It's rugby league this game, and
Speaker 2: our team scored a try, we were like maybe sixty
Speaker 2: to four, you know, like it was a thrashing, and
Speaker 2: this kid, this teenage grop bag, was just hurling abuse
Speaker 2: at Lewis who was trying to take the goal in
Speaker 2: front of the goal, and I just yeah, I just
Speaker 2: did the whole where's your sportsmanship?
Speaker 3: How do you feel? And you're not even on the field.
Speaker 2: Who were you to shout those like I really went
Speaker 2: it in a British no swearing way. I mean he
Speaker 2: actually looked shocked, and then some of his other mates
Speaker 2: just gave me a gobfull in swear words, which was
Speaker 2: obviously what they spoke at that team.
Speaker 3: But that's when I will step in.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know, when you just go, are you right?
Speaker 2: They're getting smashed?
Speaker 3: Pull your head in ye? So, yes, sporting events really
Speaker 3: get up my nose.
Speaker 5: I remain convinced that I was doing a community service.
Speaker 5: Thank you very much.
Speaker 2: Your well, all right, I want you to think of
Speaker 2: a time where you've really had to eat your words,
Speaker 2: when you would have died on a hill for something
Speaker 2: and then you realized it.
Speaker 3: Was the wrong hill.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, because that's just happened to me recently.
Speaker 2: So I live in a beautiful Art deco apartment block.
Speaker 2: It's run very tightly by the guy who's on the
Speaker 2: strata board. He runs a tight ship and we have
Speaker 2: a very beautiful quiet home. So we have a WhatsApp
Speaker 2: group chat, and we were having some maintenance in the building,
Speaker 2: so we'd been, you know, notified a week before that
Speaker 2: the back fire stairs were going to be off limits
Speaker 2: and that the painters were coming in. Okay, and then
Speaker 2: the lovely two Irish painters come in and block off
Speaker 2: the backstairs.
Speaker 3: All good.
Speaker 2: I go off to work, happy as Larry. All is
Speaker 2: good in the hood anyway. So I get home from like,
Speaker 2: you know, my morning's work, it's the afternoon, and I
Speaker 2: met by one of the guys in the building who
Speaker 2: asked to see the soles of my feet, and I
Speaker 2: was like, right, so I show my shoes.
Speaker 1: Is this one of the tradees or is this one
Speaker 1: of the residents?
Speaker 3: This is one of the residents.
Speaker 2: This is the WhatsApp sort of you know Chap who
Speaker 2: said I knew it wouldn't be you. In fact, we
Speaker 2: know who it is. We're pretty sure. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: hang on, back track, what's gone on? Someone has gone
Speaker 2: from the top floor where I live down the backstairs
Speaker 2: that are off limits. Already bad because that's prints down
Speaker 2: a painted stairwell, gets worse the bottom floor carpet they've
Speaker 2: walked through. Oh my gosh. So everyone is blowing up.
Speaker 2: We're all talking about it. We know that it's our
Speaker 2: new neighbor who has moved in on the top floor
Speaker 2: because one of them has already broken the window, apparently
Speaker 2: killing a cockroach.
Speaker 3: So they've been in a week.
Speaker 2: They've been in an art deco, glorious building for a week,
Speaker 2: and they're causing trouble. I hear them all the time,
Speaker 2: and so I am ready to take them down.
Speaker 4: So there's no surveillance, there are no cameras anywhere.
Speaker 2: So we're just no, we're just going off, you know
Speaker 2: the fact that we're just gonna.
Speaker 1: Just a vibe.
Speaker 3: Blame the new people anyway.
Speaker 2: And I'm there going yeah, well, you know, I just
Speaker 2: got home and I could hear them moving around. It
Speaker 2: was definitely them. So I'm like, so I've got totally involved.
Speaker 3: I'm loving this. People want them evicted.
Speaker 2: There is war anyway, the group WhatsApp chat because this
Speaker 2: has all been word of mouth, the point in the fingers.
Speaker 2: So the WhatsApp chat is now out full of the
Speaker 2: photos with the footprints in the carpet and.
Speaker 3: Fess up, we know it's from the top floor.
Speaker 2: Basic tone, And then I read what's been put in
Speaker 2: and it's like at approximately eleven am today. Then I
Speaker 2: look at my phone because it's school holidays. And Lewis
Speaker 2: called me when I was doing my voiceover work and
Speaker 2: so my phone was on silent and I look at
Speaker 2: it and Lewis has left the building at eleven oh one.
Speaker 3: Oh no, oh no, it's him.
Speaker 2: To text me that he's forgotten to take the rubbish.
Speaker 2: And all I want to do is vomit in my
Speaker 2: mouth because this is already going to cost a fortune
Speaker 2: to repaint the backstairs. But not only that, I have
Speaker 2: to fess up that it was my son, not the
Speaker 2: cockroach smashing window.
Speaker 3: New couple that have moved in in Canada.
Speaker 4: All the people on the WhatsApp group gluding the new
Speaker 4: people are on the water.
Speaker 2: So I'm having to I take this off the WhatsApp chat.
Speaker 2: Just take it off the WhatsApp chat.
Speaker 5: Did we know what he'd done?
Speaker 2: No?
Speaker 4: Well did he?
Speaker 3: I don't know because I called him. He was at Dad's.
Speaker 2: It's now ten pm and I'm hyperventilating and I'm like, did.
Speaker 3: You go through the no go through sign? Did you
Speaker 3: walk paint through the car? No?
Speaker 2: No, no, Lewis, someone might get evicted if this was
Speaker 2: maybe it was me.
Speaker 3: I don't know, ma'am.
Speaker 2: Obviously it was him, and so I'm like, I don't
Speaker 2: know how much this is going to cost to repaint,
Speaker 2: like the backstairs and the carpet.
Speaker 3: So he's just panicing, going.
Speaker 2: Oh, I've got money on my sprigging, and I'm it's
Speaker 2: going to cover the backstairs repaint.
Speaker 3: So I fess up, which is the best thing that
Speaker 3: you can do? This is off the group chat. Don't worry.
Speaker 3: It's actually it's straight.
Speaker 2: To the head of And the good thing is we've
Speaker 2: had these lovely painters in our building quite a lot
Speaker 2: over the past four years. They're lovely. I've always been polite.
Speaker 2: Lewis has been polite with them. When this was explained
Speaker 2: to them, they basically said, if she can just get
Speaker 2: us a couple of slabs of beer, we'll.
Speaker 3: Touch up the blackstares.
Speaker 2: So at ten am I'm at BWS buying beer, which
Speaker 2: felt a little bit early for me on a Friday morning.
Speaker 2: I felt so bad that. Just sharing that with my
Speaker 2: unleash gang, I just feel a lot better. Yeah, glare
Speaker 2: we good help?
Speaker 3: Thank you?
Speaker 5: Who as the stick? I'll have it, Mary Chriscus.
Speaker 4: Yes. I recently have been touring a stage show a
Speaker 4: he's called Frigid to.
Speaker 3: Ferrel, which is fabulous.
Speaker 5: We love it.
Speaker 4: I just love the fact that all of us have huge,
Speaker 4: busy lives and that, you know, everyone turned up to
Speaker 4: this show. Bruna had been doing a Forbe summit with
Speaker 4: Asha Ketty and then they both jumped in a new
Speaker 4: and came to my show. I looked out. Mia was there,
Speaker 4: Kath was there, Everyone was there, and it was such
Speaker 4: a moving thing for me to hit that stage with
Speaker 4: my big hair on at my high heels. Do you
Speaker 4: Brad dancing? Yeah, it was great to look at it
Speaker 4: and see those big, beaming, unleashed faces looking back at me,
Speaker 4: sitting innocently in that auditorium, not knowing what the hell
Speaker 4: they're about to wag. It may be so happy because
Speaker 4: it made me realize how important it is that we
Speaker 4: show up for each other. It's easy to be a
Speaker 4: good friend when someone's going through a hard time. We
Speaker 4: know how to do that right. We turn up, We
Speaker 4: take soup, we give advice, we check in, we do
Speaker 4: all of that stuff. Someone close to me once said,
Speaker 4: you don't judge friends by how willing they are to
Speaker 4: be there in the tough times, but how willing they
Speaker 4: are to celebrate your good Yes, and I was very,
Speaker 4: very touched by that, and we ended up having a
Speaker 4: great night.
Speaker 5: It was wicked. It was so good. So can I
Speaker 5: just tell you the incident that happened during that show.
Speaker 5: I went by myself and the people sat next to me.
Speaker 5: I didn't know that they knew you, but the lady
Speaker 5: who's on my right, I was laughing so hard at
Speaker 5: one point that we did a headbang. Basically, I banged
Speaker 5: my head onto her head, absolutely accidentally because we were
Speaker 5: both leaning forward and just went boom. And we loved
Speaker 5: even more because it was so funny. And I don't
Speaker 5: know any comedian, right, You're my first comedian friend, and
Speaker 5: I didn't know what to expect because I'm not from here,
Speaker 5: so I grew up in the UK, so I am
Speaker 5: not used to iffy. The minute you started dancing, I
Speaker 5: almost pee my pants because I didn't know what to expect,
Speaker 5: and it was so good and the whole thing was
Speaker 5: just so amazing that I just thought, Wow, isn't it
Speaker 5: crazy that I know this person. It's on another level
Speaker 5: of reality check of like how fucking talented you are.
Speaker 5: And I'm not just saying this, I really mean it
Speaker 5: because it's something I'm so unfamiliar with, and it was
Speaker 5: just it was so damn funny.
Speaker 3: Mary.
Speaker 5: Yeah. So I just want to say thank you for
Speaker 5: inviting me, and I would definitely show up for more
Speaker 5: good times for you.
Speaker 4: Oh You're the best.
Speaker 3: I love it.
Speaker 4: You know, it's hard because for many many years when
Speaker 4: I was struggling to be a mum, I went to
Speaker 4: a lot of kid's birthday parties and after a loss
Speaker 4: someone else, you know, I had a child, and there
Speaker 4: was a lot of that sort of stuff. But here's
Speaker 4: the thing, this is what I know for a fact.
Speaker 4: I've never been the type of person that looks to
Speaker 4: unknown people to get my inspiration. I always look within
Speaker 4: reach of my world, you know, real heroes, real people
Speaker 4: that I know intimately to get my inspiration. And there
Speaker 4: were many many times where I was so low and
Speaker 4: I'd go to a movie opening of Brunner's, or I'd
Speaker 4: watch our best friend who's a rock star do a gig,
Speaker 4: and it would fill me with such joy and inspiration
Speaker 4: and it would actually help me feel better and feel
Speaker 4: more equipped.
Speaker 3: To move forward.
Speaker 4: Certainly, I know that for me, if I'm in my
Speaker 4: friendship group, I know that it's almost like a multi
Speaker 4: vitamin that I can gain what I'm deficient in, even
Speaker 4: though others might be over abundant in something in that moment.
Speaker 4: And life's a horse race. Sometimes you're out front and
Speaker 4: sometimes you're behind trying to catch up, you know, and
Speaker 4: you've got to play the long game. I think, Yeah,
Speaker 4: we can talk ourselves out of turning up for things
Speaker 4: all the time. Oh i'm feeling like this, or i'm
Speaker 4: feeling lower, this has happened. But when you push yourself
Speaker 4: out of your own head and back into your life
Speaker 4: and towards the light of someone that you love, I
Speaker 4: think that's where inspiration truly lives. That's just my way
Speaker 4: of looking at it. I mean, when you're in a friendship,
Speaker 4: a healthy, loving, secure friendship, you turn up for everything. Yeah,
Speaker 4: the good, the bad, the boring, the mundane. Or i'm
Speaker 4: moving house, I'll come over. We'll open a bottle of wine,
Speaker 4: we'll pack some boxes. You turn up, You just turn up.
Speaker 4: But I think that it's really a lot easier to
Speaker 4: turn up when you know someone else is going through
Speaker 4: a hard time. Then turning up when you're going through
Speaker 4: a hard time and they're not, That is that is much.
Speaker 1: When you're not having a good time.
Speaker 2: Look, I think as we get older, you know, we
Speaker 2: curate our friendships a bit more and you have the
Speaker 2: people that are there for the good times and the
Speaker 2: bad times. But what I know I'm really bad at,
Speaker 2: and a lot of my girlfriends are, is celebrating our wins.
Speaker 2: You know, I can celebrate everyone else's, but I'm not
Speaker 2: very good at blowing my own horn. And we've got
Speaker 2: a beautiful friend, Carl who's sort of curated a group
Speaker 2: of about eight of us, got us together just before Christmas.
Speaker 3: And the silly season.
Speaker 2: And what she did, and this was probably the best
Speaker 2: gift I've ever been given, and it would probably have
Speaker 2: cost her eighty cents per gift, was she made an
Speaker 2: award that was for each of us to celebrate our
Speaker 2: thing and had it laminated. So mine was, you know,
Speaker 2: congratulations to Catherine Mahoney taking over the world.
Speaker 3: One showed a time and laminate.
Speaker 2: It and we were like all really teary, and like
Speaker 2: we went up it was like the awards, you know,
Speaker 2: we were not one at a time and kind of
Speaker 2: all clapped and I'm not joking the joy on these
Speaker 2: women's faces that we all came away with something laminated.
Speaker 3: Mine's still on my fridge.
Speaker 2: So I think for me, it's being able to celebrate
Speaker 2: yourself as well as as the people that you love.
Speaker 2: Who would like the talking stick, I would like the
Speaker 2: talking stick, Sally Hapworth, talking stick coming at you.
Speaker 5: I make deals with the universe.
Speaker 1: It's my little teeny little bit of woo whoop. And
Speaker 1: I have got quite a few things that make absolutely
Speaker 1: zero sense, but they're things that I do. So for example,
Speaker 1: one of my favorite ones that I've done for a
Speaker 1: long time is if I have to do something that
Speaker 1: I don't want to do, phone call an errand you know,
Speaker 1: sometimes work I will. I've got to deal with the
Speaker 1: universe that when I do those things, the universe gives
Speaker 1: me a little treat. So might be and I don't
Speaker 1: know what it could be. And so as soon as
Speaker 1: I start to do a thing, I get a little
Speaker 1: bit of excitement in the pit of my stomach because
Speaker 1: I'm like, what is going to happen?
Speaker 5: And it always shows up.
Speaker 2: You know.
Speaker 1: It can be something really small, like a really interesting
Speaker 1: conversation I have with someone that I bump into at
Speaker 1: the supermarket, you know, when I forced myself to do
Speaker 1: that grocery shop, or it might be something big. And
Speaker 1: I actually did this when I was in America this time,
Speaker 1: and I'd been there for about a week and I
Speaker 1: hadn't done any exercise. I'd been you know, eating all
Speaker 1: the burghers and the thing, and I just wasn't feeling
Speaker 1: good about myself. And I told myself, I am going
Speaker 1: to get up tomorrow and go for a walk before
Speaker 1: my early flight. If I do that, I'm going to
Speaker 1: get a little treat.
Speaker 5: So this particular day I got.
Speaker 1: I went a little, very short walk by the way, Like,
Speaker 1: you really don't have to do much for the universe
Speaker 1: to deliver.
Speaker 4: Honestly, does the treat reveal itself within the thing that
Speaker 4: you didn't want to.
Speaker 1: Do, generally speaking, or at least within that day. And
Speaker 1: it sometimes requires you to look back and go, oh,
Speaker 1: that was the little treat, Like it doesn't always depending
Speaker 1: on where your mind is.
Speaker 4: Showing, might not notice it at the time, then later
Speaker 4: it makes sense.
Speaker 5: Yeah, So this day I went for my walk.
Speaker 1: During that walk, which was incredibly short, I got chatting
Speaker 1: to two people randomly. One of the men was a
Speaker 1: jazz singer and he started to sing. He'd said hello
Speaker 1: and then he started to sing, so and I thought
Speaker 1: core memory being made here, Like, how glad am I
Speaker 1: that I went for this walk. I never would have
Speaker 1: met this man. I then was about to get an
Speaker 1: uber to the airport, and I found out just as
Speaker 1: I was going in that there was a shuttle that
Speaker 1: was taking people to the airport from this hotel, which
Speaker 1: wasn't an airport hotel. I get in the shuttle, I'm
Speaker 1: the only person in it, and it's this lovely man,
Speaker 1: and we ended up having this wonderful conversation. So by
Speaker 1: the time I get on the plane, I'm already thinking, oh, well,
Speaker 1: lots of little treats have already happened, but I'm sending
Speaker 1: the energy out. Couple of hours later, got the call.
Speaker 1: I was number seven in the New York Times bestseller list.
Speaker 1: You go, girl, we can reverse engineer this any way
Speaker 1: you want. But I have lots of things like that
Speaker 1: that I That's probably my biggest one that has followed
Speaker 1: me throughout my life. Do you guys have deals with
Speaker 1: the universe? Do you have woo woo things that you do?
Speaker 1: What about you, Mary, Like, do you have things that
Speaker 1: don't make any sense that you just live by?
Speaker 4: In the lead up to meeting my husband, I had
Speaker 4: said to myself, I know who I am in the
Speaker 4: wrong relationship, because I've done plenty of that. I wonder
Speaker 4: who I am in the right relationship. I wonder how
Speaker 4: I love when there are no excuses or limitations or fear.
Speaker 4: So that had been something I'd sort of planted and
Speaker 4: thrown out into the world, and then two weeks later
Speaker 4: I met my husband. So sometimes, obviously I wish for
Speaker 4: a good parking spot, all of those smaller everyday things,
Speaker 4: but sometimes on the bigger things, I really I suppose
Speaker 4: I'm asking for the picture to reveal itself, so a
Speaker 4: bit of that. I don't know what about you, Grace.
Speaker 5: So I as Chinese and I'm very superstitious. So when
Speaker 5: we left Hong Kong and of twenty nineteen, I was
Speaker 5: so anxious of leaving that I actually did say to universe,
Speaker 5: please let us leave, because this is not good. You know,
Speaker 5: everything about living there is not good anymore. We need
Speaker 5: to leave. Please let us leave. The minute I got
Speaker 5: on a flight, I started bawling like crazy because I thought,
Speaker 5: oh my god, the universe have answered me to let
Speaker 5: my little family leave in a very turbulent time. And
Speaker 5: then my assistant, who I've known for since she was sixteen,
Speaker 5: and she's like, I don't know, thirties. Now in the thirties,
Speaker 5: she wrote me this amazing letter just to thank me
Speaker 5: for being in her life, and I just thought, oh
Speaker 5: my god, this is my gift. This is my gift completely.
Speaker 5: But recently, I mean, even up until before we moved Melbourne,
Speaker 5: I stop being superstitious and I just want to take control.
Speaker 5: And weirdest thing is that as soon as I stop
Speaker 5: being superstitious, everything happened organically and everything worked out. So
Speaker 5: I stopped going to a clairvoyant or fortune teller even
Speaker 5: though until five six years ago, and I thought, you know,
Speaker 5: I'm gonna take control. And it feels so much better
Speaker 5: not to have to look at my charts, you know,
Speaker 5: and and look at my starsign. I mean, I still
Speaker 5: do now and then it's interesting to me, but I
Speaker 5: definitely don't base everything on none of those anymore.
Speaker 1: But how does that play with your Around Chinese New Year,
Speaker 1: we were talking about some of the things about cutting
Speaker 1: your hair and wearing the red, but that's just tradition.
Speaker 5: That's more tradition, that's just tradition, you know. And but
Speaker 5: now I al I always see signs around me, especially
Speaker 5: number plates, like recently, because if I if I have
Speaker 5: to go do something really difficult, I always ask, give
Speaker 5: me a sign, Give me a sign, right, And it's
Speaker 5: always number plate. You know, I'll always see three three, four,
Speaker 5: four four nine nine nine. Especially when we were leaving
Speaker 5: Puff to come here, it was all over me. I
Speaker 5: think to me, how interpret it is? Like that means
Speaker 5: you're making the right decision.
Speaker 3: Well, I'm all up for that.
Speaker 2: I have a sign diary, so I have lots of
Speaker 2: different signs from the universe. One of the signs is
Speaker 2: actually a dragonfly. I had sadly lost a friend and
Speaker 2: so she comes through as a dragonfly. So when I
Speaker 2: went on my date and I had my dragonfly broach,
Speaker 2: the first thing he said was I love the dragonfly,
Speaker 2: and he said one flew onto my hand. When I
Speaker 2: was painting recently, and I was like, in my head,
Speaker 2: I was going, thanks Bella.
Speaker 3: But I write it down.
Speaker 2: Because things, so many things happen, So if you keep
Speaker 2: a diary, you can flick back and just go wow.
Speaker 2: I'm the same with number plates. I do get sort
Speaker 2: of messages through like that. And when I was recently
Speaker 2: talking to a psychologist who said, you know, I had
Speaker 2: an ADHD diagnosis. He asked me something and I said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 2: I get a lot of messages from the universe. I
Speaker 2: see a lot of things in number plates. He was like,
Speaker 2: do you do you get messages through the television?
Speaker 3: Do you hear voices people?
Speaker 5: Oh my god, I.
Speaker 3: Said, I'm just like a crystal in my bra type
Speaker 3: of check. I'm not having a psychosis. Don't write that down,
Speaker 3: give me the meds anyway. So that's how I roll.
Speaker 2: But I always start the day with a gratitude list.
Speaker 2: And I think when you were talking about your trade
Speaker 2: with the universe, that just feels like an energetic manifestation.
Speaker 2: It's like your energy changes. You go, I'm ready for it.
Speaker 3: What have you got? And then you bring it in.
Speaker 3: You bring it in pretty magic.
Speaker 1: The one thing I wonder about the whole woo woo world,
Speaker 1: and I say, this is a lapsed Catholic, very poor
Speaker 1: Catholic to start with, but I wonder how much spirituality,
Speaker 1: woo woo whatever, the little things we believe in have
Speaker 1: become the new religion for the secular kind of people.
Speaker 1: Because it's still you know, if you think about it,
Speaker 1: even people who don't believe in any of My dad
Speaker 1: is very you know, non believer, non religious. He bases
Speaker 1: everything on science and so for him, his higher power
Speaker 1: is science. And so we all kind of have got
Speaker 1: something that we are placing our trust in. And for
Speaker 1: a lot of people, historically it's been religion. But if
Speaker 1: it's not that, you know, I wonder if it is
Speaker 1: possible for the human being to just not genuinely believe
Speaker 1: in anything, and where that would leave us.
Speaker 4: I don't know, but I know that the Greeks are
Speaker 4: big on interpreting dreams. My mother if she dreams that
Speaker 4: she's lost a tooth, the next morning, depending on whether
Speaker 4: there was pain involved or not. If there was no pain,
Speaker 4: she'll hear of someone she knows that has passed. It
Speaker 4: might be just a you know, acquaintance. If there's pain,
Speaker 4: it's going to be someone close. And then birds, a
Speaker 4: bird doing you know, like coming onto the verandah or
Speaker 4: trying to get into the house, or that they see
Speaker 4: that those birds as symbols of you're going to hear
Speaker 4: something like there's a message that's trying to get through.
Speaker 4: Often my father in law as well, because my husband
Speaker 4: lost his beautiful sister so they believe it's the spirit
Speaker 4: coming back in the form of a bird. So there's
Speaker 4: a lot of cultures that think along those lines. We've
Speaker 4: got to try and make sense of all that's happening
Speaker 4: in the world and that we matter and that there
Speaker 4: are maybe clues to a greater reason for the things
Speaker 4: that occur.
Speaker 5: My sister came back as a moth the day that
Speaker 5: she was supposed to come back and visit us after
Speaker 5: she died. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And do you have a connection to moths now
Speaker 1: or do you see them around?
Speaker 5: It's funny because since my kid was young, he knows
Speaker 5: with the Chinese tradition, that means someone passing that came
Speaker 5: back to visit you. So when never see even like
Speaker 5: a mosquitoes, Oh, is that your sister? Is that your nanny?
Speaker 3: Is it your dad?
Speaker 2: Is that?
Speaker 3: You know?
Speaker 5: So we're very used to stuff like that. And I
Speaker 5: think with religion, whether it's you know, wu wu stuff,
Speaker 5: it's all about building a community. Yeah, I mean, I'm
Speaker 5: not religious, but I do understand why people want to
Speaker 5: be long. I think it's the sense of belonging for
Speaker 5: everyone is really important.
Speaker 1: Belonging and also a belief that something is behind all
Speaker 1: of this.
Speaker 3: And it's not just us. I just want to believe
Speaker 3: there is something bigger than us.
Speaker 1: Yes, and we're not just floundering through that. There is
Speaker 1: always something that we can tune into for wisdom, or
Speaker 1: for advice, or for come to try and get comfort.
Speaker 3: Yes, love that.
Speaker 1: All right, It's time for blast from the past, where
Speaker 1: we go back in time and relive our youth.
Speaker 5: Yes.
Speaker 1: And this week I need to talk about something that
Speaker 1: I cannot genuinely believe that I'm saying what smoking is back?
Speaker 1: What do you guys know anything about this? Now?
Speaker 6: What do you mean?
Speaker 3: It's back?
Speaker 4: It's back for you, back for society, It's back all
Speaker 4: over the place.
Speaker 1: Kyle frand Kylie Jenner was recently on the cover of
Speaker 1: Vanity Fair smoking a cigarette. Sabrina Carpenter was on a
Speaker 1: cover smoking a cigarette.
Speaker 2: Actually, Dua Lipa was on Instagram the other day. Was
Speaker 2: she running a light with a cigarette?
Speaker 3: I was like, you really?
Speaker 1: Apparently. Gwyneth Paltrow was also handing out slim cigarettes at
Speaker 1: one of her launches at her home at a party.
Speaker 1: And I have to say, as someone who is old
Speaker 1: enough to remember when people smoked all over the place,
Speaker 1: this kind of blows my mind and it made me
Speaker 1: want to know what your memories are about smoking. But
Speaker 1: before I get to that, I want to say my
Speaker 1: all time favorite memory of smoking, and that's one that
Speaker 1: producer Mons gave to me. That came from her mother
Speaker 1: who said that her obstetrician had a cigarette hanging out
Speaker 1: of his mouth as he caught Mons.
Speaker 4: In the birthing suite lot smoking in Whoa.
Speaker 1: So that was nineteen eighty.
Speaker 5: Oh my god, that's so fun.
Speaker 4: I do remember growing up. I grew up in Collingwood
Speaker 4: and there was a doctor across the road. We would
Speaker 4: go in for him to check on us, you know,
Speaker 4: during flu season. He'd always be smoking. Greeks have never
Speaker 4: stopped smoking. You go to Greece and they are smoking everywhere.
Speaker 1: Cigarettes not vaping, No, no, I don't know.
Speaker 4: Maybebe a bit of vaping, but no. Cigarettes are still
Speaker 4: cheap in Greece, so they are smoking everywhere. And if
Speaker 4: you were to say to them, look, I don't like that.
Speaker 4: Can you just take it further? They look at you
Speaker 4: like they've never heard anyone say that before. I remember
Speaker 4: you used to get on the tube, remember the play
Speaker 4: like Squashed. You all are on the escalator and it
Speaker 4: was all wood and people would be smoking on the tube,
Speaker 4: in the tube, on the escalator in the left. You'd
Speaker 4: be in a tiny poky restaurant and everyone's smoking, like
Speaker 4: could you imagine that now?
Speaker 5: And on a plane, yes, trouble Yeah. I usually go
Speaker 5: from home to back to UK for boarding school, people
Speaker 5: just smoke right in my face. Disgusting.
Speaker 4: It's funny when you go to those international airports and
Speaker 4: they go into those like cone of silence and they're like,
Speaker 4: you know, like a cylinder of smoke.
Speaker 1: So is it fashion grace? Is this one of those
Speaker 1: things like everything old is new again and it's a cyclical?
Speaker 1: You know, cigarettes are back in fashion again?
Speaker 5: No? I mean it might be cool to young people,
Speaker 5: but come on, smoking it's bad for you people. It
Speaker 5: smells your close stanks. Do not smoke please.
Speaker 4: If this is crazy, this is crazy. I just think
Speaker 4: it's people are going against what the norm is. People
Speaker 4: want to be seen as rebellious, and I think a
Speaker 4: lot of these stars are just doing it just because,
Speaker 4: you know, it seems to be a rebellious actor, or
Speaker 4: it's a nice art directed photo.
Speaker 5: Who listened to Kylie Jenner? Anyway? No? Thanks?
Speaker 1: The interesting thing about smoking that I recall from when
Speaker 1: I was younger is that it does force you to
Speaker 1: do two things.
Speaker 5: One you have to go outside.
Speaker 1: In my day, I don't really have a lot of
Speaker 1: recall of people smoking indoors. You know, maybe from when
Speaker 1: I was very young, but my parents didn't smoke. But
Speaker 1: when I smoked in my twenties, you had to leave
Speaker 1: and go outside. And the other thing is that you
Speaker 1: could you socialized. You know, you had your friends that
Speaker 1: you smoked cigarettes with and you'd go outside. You had
Speaker 1: to ask for a light. Like there were things that
Speaker 1: I don't think vaping provides.
Speaker 3: I'd like to bring the landline back. Bring the land
Speaker 3: line back. It's better for your jack.
Speaker 4: It doesn't have a mobile. She lives and dies for
Speaker 4: the landline.
Speaker 3: I love.
Speaker 1: Is it an old dial up one?
Speaker 4: No, no, no, she's cordless, but she's so funny. She's
Speaker 4: so addicted to it. She talks on the phone NonStop.
Speaker 4: And she's got one of those you know, international ones
Speaker 4: where you can call any mobile, any landline, anywhere in
Speaker 4: the world and it's right. So when we're having dinner
Speaker 4: at her house, which is like a pretty momentous thing
Speaker 4: because I don't live in Melbourne, you know, so that's
Speaker 4: a big deal. When I go home to have dinner
Speaker 4: and her phone will ring like tur three time during dinner,
Speaker 4: and she'll go off into the powder room which is
Speaker 4: next to the dining room, and would it acts like
Speaker 4: an ampitheater and she's talking on the landline and then
Speaker 4: if if someone calls her again, she just says one
Speaker 4: thing very popular, very very popular, and she takes the
Speaker 4: phone and then she goes she.
Speaker 1: Could take it outside and light up a cigarette while
Speaker 1: she's out there all night experience. What do you think
Speaker 1: the next thing that's going to come back is going
Speaker 1: to be? Like? Can we prepare for it and get
Speaker 1: our things ready?
Speaker 3: Please come back.
Speaker 2: Tape?
Speaker 3: I want a mixtape.
Speaker 5: We'll hold on to them.
Speaker 2: Actually, speaking of mixtapes, we have an unleashed Spotify playlist. Yes, honestly,
Speaker 2: it's the closest thing to a mixtape. We're going to
Speaker 2: get it is so good. It's eighties and nineties bangers
Speaker 2: back to back.
Speaker 3: Go follow it. The link is in the show notes.
Speaker 2: Oh and if you've got a song that needs to
Speaker 2: be on there sliding to our dms, yes, because we
Speaker 2: take belting out songs here quite seriously. All right, that
Speaker 2: is all we have time for this week. If you
Speaker 2: have any messages that you want to send us or questions,
Speaker 2: dm us at Unleashed dot show on Instagram because we
Speaker 2: love hearing from you.
Speaker 3: Don't we maya I love it, love it.
Speaker 2: And if you are thinking about picking up a cigarette,
Speaker 2: don't make us your new guilty pleasure instead, So follow
Speaker 2: the show and share it with someone else you might
Speaker 2: think needs that distraction.
Speaker 3: What do we like to say? Ladies? See Tuesday.
Speaker 2: Until then, stay unfiltered, stay unreasonable, Stay unleashed.
Speaker 1: Bye.
Speaker 3: Mamma.
Speaker 2: Mia acknowledges the traditional owners of land and waters that
Speaker 2: this podcast is recorded on