1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:04,640 Speaker 1: Queenie was incredible for who she is. But Queennie was 2 00:00:04,720 --> 00:00:09,080 Speaker 1: only one representation of autism, and she was an extremely 3 00:00:09,160 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: palatable version of autism. She was very manic, pixie dream 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:15,960 Speaker 1: girl autism. She was very cute, and she was very quirky, 5 00:00:16,040 --> 00:00:18,000 Speaker 1: and she wasn't controversial, and she. 6 00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:20,440 Speaker 2: Was very sweet, and that's palatable. 7 00:00:20,800 --> 00:00:24,919 Speaker 1: So it's an easy, digestible way for people to go okay, 8 00:00:25,400 --> 00:00:28,479 Speaker 1: I can accept autism. 9 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 3: For most of her childhood, Chloe Hayden felt like she 10 00:00:32,040 --> 00:00:36,520 Speaker 3: didn't belong anywhere. She was bullied at school, moved through 11 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:40,879 Speaker 3: ten different schools, and struggled to exist in environments that 12 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:46,280 Speaker 3: simply didn't understand her. When she was diagnosed as autistic 13 00:00:46,320 --> 00:00:50,240 Speaker 3: at thirteen, it helped explain a lifetime of feeling different, 14 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:53,800 Speaker 3: But at the time, there were almost no conversations about 15 00:00:53,840 --> 00:00:58,320 Speaker 3: neurodivergence and certainly no one she could look to who 16 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:03,360 Speaker 3: felt like her. Today, Chloe has become that person for 17 00:01:03,520 --> 00:01:08,039 Speaker 3: millions of others through her role in Netflix's Heartbreak High 18 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:11,080 Speaker 3: and her advocacy online. She's become one of the most 19 00:01:11,200 --> 00:01:15,520 Speaker 3: visible autistic women in the world. But becoming a voice 20 00:01:15,560 --> 00:01:19,679 Speaker 3: for others comes with its own pressure. Today, on No Filter, 21 00:01:20,480 --> 00:01:23,400 Speaker 3: Chloe Hayden joins me to talk about the cost of 22 00:01:23,440 --> 00:01:29,560 Speaker 3: being the autistic woman everyone looks to. Chloe Hayden, Welcome 23 00:01:29,560 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 3: to No Filter. 24 00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:31,399 Speaker 2: Thanks for having me. 25 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:37,000 Speaker 3: Well, I think it's like a perfect it's a perfect 26 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:41,360 Speaker 3: venue for you. I think because you have lived your 27 00:01:41,400 --> 00:01:46,680 Speaker 3: life being seen and kind of divesting yourself of things 28 00:01:46,720 --> 00:01:49,520 Speaker 3: that at one point in your life I gather held 29 00:01:49,560 --> 00:01:55,080 Speaker 3: you back or were not understood. How did you start 30 00:01:55,640 --> 00:02:01,400 Speaker 3: to go, I'm not gonna hide things or mask things, 31 00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:06,040 Speaker 3: or I'm going to strip myself bare and see what happens. 32 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 2: Oh. 33 00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:10,919 Speaker 1: I feel like there's maybe two parts to this. First 34 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,920 Speaker 1: of all, despite the fact that I knew for my 35 00:02:14,320 --> 00:02:18,480 Speaker 1: entire life that I was different, and also was told 36 00:02:18,600 --> 00:02:23,519 Speaker 1: by from my entire life that I was different by friends, 37 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:26,680 Speaker 1: like other kids and peers and teachers, and growing ups 38 00:02:26,720 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 1: in my life, I had everyone told me that I 39 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:29,680 Speaker 1: was different and that different was wrong. 40 00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,480 Speaker 2: But my family. 41 00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: Always told me that my difference was magic and that 42 00:02:35,919 --> 00:02:38,840 Speaker 1: I was incredible because I was different. And so despite 43 00:02:38,840 --> 00:02:43,000 Speaker 1: the fact that everyone in my outer circle made it 44 00:02:43,040 --> 00:02:45,760 Speaker 1: seem like it was a bad thing, I never actually 45 00:02:45,800 --> 00:02:48,400 Speaker 1: believed that I couldn't achieve whatever I wanted because my 46 00:02:48,480 --> 00:02:51,600 Speaker 1: family have always been my biggest cheerleader, and so I 47 00:02:51,600 --> 00:02:52,320 Speaker 1: think I. 48 00:02:52,280 --> 00:02:53,959 Speaker 2: Owe a lot to them, and I owe a lot 49 00:02:53,960 --> 00:02:55,240 Speaker 2: of the. 50 00:02:55,280 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: Fact that I have felt like I've been able to 51 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:01,480 Speaker 1: step out and just like take the world is because 52 00:03:01,520 --> 00:03:02,840 Speaker 1: I was never told I couldn't. 53 00:03:04,600 --> 00:03:06,320 Speaker 2: And then I think the first time that. 54 00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 1: Really properly showcased itself is when I was thirteen and 55 00:03:12,120 --> 00:03:16,000 Speaker 1: I got diagnosed with autism. I went and I googled it, 56 00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 1: and the only things that showed up were resources for 57 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:25,520 Speaker 1: parents that were suffering because their child was autistic and 58 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:30,520 Speaker 1: curious for autism. And so when I didn't see anyone 59 00:03:30,600 --> 00:03:32,800 Speaker 1: that was positively advocating Dustin. 60 00:03:32,480 --> 00:03:34,520 Speaker 3: Hoffman, Didustin Hoffman pop up? 61 00:03:34,680 --> 00:03:38,200 Speaker 2: Oh, but the whole kit and caboodle popped up? I had. 62 00:03:38,280 --> 00:03:40,400 Speaker 1: I saw an ad pop up that at the time 63 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:43,600 Speaker 1: was still playing in America that the monologue in the 64 00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:46,800 Speaker 1: background was, I am autism. I will ruin your family. 65 00:03:47,240 --> 00:03:49,040 Speaker 1: If you were scared of me, you should be. It 66 00:03:49,120 --> 00:03:51,640 Speaker 1: was still playing in America that when I was diagnosed, 67 00:03:51,680 --> 00:03:55,960 Speaker 1: and so I went, I'm not accepting that for us, 68 00:03:56,120 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: and I started talking about it. 69 00:03:58,640 --> 00:04:01,400 Speaker 2: And that's kind of the first was that when you 70 00:04:01,440 --> 00:04:02,640 Speaker 2: started the YouTube thing. 71 00:04:02,840 --> 00:04:06,960 Speaker 1: So I actually started an anonymous blog first, and then 72 00:04:07,200 --> 00:04:09,920 Speaker 1: I had a lot of people reaching out to me saying, 73 00:04:10,800 --> 00:04:14,640 Speaker 1: can you make a YouTube on this because my kid 74 00:04:14,720 --> 00:04:17,840 Speaker 1: needs to read this and they struggle with reading, or 75 00:04:18,520 --> 00:04:21,240 Speaker 1: they need to be able to read lips or something 76 00:04:21,320 --> 00:04:27,000 Speaker 1: like that. And so I went un anonymous and started 77 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:29,280 Speaker 1: posting my face on YouTube and that kind of is 78 00:04:29,400 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 1: the start of everything and how and why I am 79 00:04:32,760 --> 00:04:33,640 Speaker 1: sitting here today. 80 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:37,000 Speaker 3: You know, how you talk about your family and the 81 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:40,800 Speaker 3: you know, the way that you were seeing within the 82 00:04:40,839 --> 00:04:43,520 Speaker 3: family which was kind of different to the external world. 83 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 3: What was the nature of your family, like, what was 84 00:04:47,240 --> 00:04:49,479 Speaker 3: the makeup of your family and what role did you 85 00:04:49,560 --> 00:04:51,479 Speaker 3: play within the family that was different? 86 00:04:52,200 --> 00:04:53,080 Speaker 2: Oh? 87 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:57,120 Speaker 1: Okay, so I have a pretty big family. I'm the 88 00:04:57,400 --> 00:05:01,719 Speaker 1: oldest of four siblings. I've got but two brothers, two sisters, 89 00:05:02,080 --> 00:05:05,679 Speaker 1: two biological to adopted from Taiwan, and I'm the oldest. 90 00:05:07,160 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: My mum and dad have both recently been diagnosed as 91 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:13,000 Speaker 1: nurotivergent as well, which makes a lot of sense. How 92 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:18,880 Speaker 1: recently in the last twelve months, Oh really both of them? 93 00:05:18,920 --> 00:05:22,800 Speaker 3: And like with an overlap, is are they do? They 94 00:05:22,839 --> 00:05:26,200 Speaker 3: live in a ben diagram together with their diagnosis or 95 00:05:26,520 --> 00:05:28,080 Speaker 3: different parts of spectrum or. 96 00:05:28,640 --> 00:05:33,800 Speaker 1: So my mom is diagnosed ADHD, I'm pretty sure she's 97 00:05:33,920 --> 00:05:34,680 Speaker 1: autistic too. 98 00:05:35,800 --> 00:05:38,960 Speaker 3: I'll diagnose her Chloe. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 99 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:43,479 Speaker 1: And then my dad is autistic ADHD. And it's so 100 00:05:43,600 --> 00:05:47,719 Speaker 1: funny because growing up, my dad was always like, she's 101 00:05:47,760 --> 00:05:50,360 Speaker 1: not weird. I do that, And I was like, yeah, yeah, 102 00:05:50,720 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 1: I know, I know. Like I remember growing up, my 103 00:05:53,240 --> 00:05:56,920 Speaker 1: dad used to try to like help my autism. And 104 00:05:57,000 --> 00:06:00,360 Speaker 1: so whenever we would go to the show or a 105 00:06:00,400 --> 00:06:03,200 Speaker 1: petrol station or pick up my siblings from school, he'd 106 00:06:03,200 --> 00:06:04,760 Speaker 1: make me be the one that went in and paid 107 00:06:04,839 --> 00:06:06,320 Speaker 1: or went in and collected from the school. And he 108 00:06:06,480 --> 00:06:09,120 Speaker 1: always said, I'm doing this for you. I'm doing this 109 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:11,600 Speaker 1: so you can learn how to function in society. However, 110 00:06:11,760 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 1: I knew for a damn fact that man was just 111 00:06:14,200 --> 00:06:15,880 Speaker 1: using that as an excuse because he didn't want to 112 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:17,920 Speaker 1: go in and interact with way. And so when he 113 00:06:17,960 --> 00:06:21,360 Speaker 1: got diagnosed in his fifties. 114 00:06:22,279 --> 00:06:23,440 Speaker 2: It wasn't a shock to anyone. 115 00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:26,839 Speaker 3: Was a shocked to him. 116 00:06:27,040 --> 00:06:29,640 Speaker 2: I think, look, I think that's his story to tell. 117 00:06:29,920 --> 00:06:34,320 Speaker 1: But I know that being a fifty year old man 118 00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: and growing up in the society that fifty year old men. 119 00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:40,000 Speaker 2: Grew up in. 120 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:43,920 Speaker 1: Right, Yes, I think there was a lot of grief 121 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:47,440 Speaker 1: that came with not knowing, But I don't think he 122 00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 1: was shocked. 123 00:06:49,920 --> 00:06:51,800 Speaker 2: I think, well, there was something in him that made 124 00:06:51,920 --> 00:06:53,080 Speaker 2: him explore it. 125 00:06:53,520 --> 00:06:56,960 Speaker 1: And we've always been so close and we've always related 126 00:06:57,040 --> 00:07:00,560 Speaker 1: so much on everything, So I think, you know, he 127 00:07:00,600 --> 00:07:02,400 Speaker 1: always and he's always said, you know, you got your 128 00:07:02,400 --> 00:07:03,160 Speaker 1: EADHD from your. 129 00:07:03,120 --> 00:07:04,880 Speaker 2: Mum, you got your autogym from it, right, We've always 130 00:07:04,960 --> 00:07:05,640 Speaker 2: dreamt about that. 131 00:07:05,760 --> 00:07:11,200 Speaker 3: So when you say like that you were different, and 132 00:07:11,280 --> 00:07:14,880 Speaker 3: I do, I think one of my favorite things is 133 00:07:14,960 --> 00:07:21,840 Speaker 3: when difference moves from being something that's othered in a 134 00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 3: negative way to actually being celebrated by the person and 135 00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 3: by the world at large. It's an extraordinary period of 136 00:07:33,760 --> 00:07:37,120 Speaker 3: growth and celebration for everyone. I think. And this has 137 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:39,640 Speaker 3: been the story of your life so far and will 138 00:07:39,680 --> 00:07:43,800 Speaker 3: continue to be. But when you say you were different, 139 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,560 Speaker 3: how did the difference manifest itself? And bear in mind 140 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 3: we're talking about a time where, particularly for young girls, 141 00:07:50,920 --> 00:07:55,080 Speaker 3: young women, there was not so much diagnosis of autism. 142 00:07:55,560 --> 00:08:01,040 Speaker 1: No, and also being different was social exclusion. You were 143 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,120 Speaker 1: not allowed to be different. As a twelve year old 144 00:08:04,200 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 1: girl being different with social suicide. 145 00:08:08,080 --> 00:08:10,160 Speaker 2: But I've known I was different my whole But in 146 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:11,640 Speaker 2: what why were you different? 147 00:08:12,040 --> 00:08:16,920 Speaker 3: Because there's something about particularly teenage girls where they like 148 00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:20,840 Speaker 3: to be in lockstep. Yeah you know, same close, same whatever, 149 00:08:20,920 --> 00:08:23,120 Speaker 3: same reaction. If someone tells a joke, you look at 150 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:26,680 Speaker 3: your girlfriends first to say how they respond before you decide, Yeah, 151 00:08:26,720 --> 00:08:28,400 Speaker 3: how were you in all. 152 00:08:28,240 --> 00:08:29,400 Speaker 2: Of those ways you described? 153 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:32,320 Speaker 1: I dressed different, I spoke different, I acted different, and 154 00:08:32,360 --> 00:08:34,640 Speaker 1: I did everything in my power to try not to be. 155 00:08:35,600 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 1: I think the reason why I'm such a good actor 156 00:08:38,160 --> 00:08:39,960 Speaker 1: is because I had to do it my entire life. 157 00:08:41,120 --> 00:08:44,280 Speaker 1: There was I would watch YouTubers, and there would be 158 00:08:44,360 --> 00:08:46,960 Speaker 1: YouTubers that I thought were really really cool, and I 159 00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 1: could mask and mimic their personalities so well that I 160 00:08:51,960 --> 00:08:54,680 Speaker 1: would have so many people come up to me and 161 00:08:54,720 --> 00:08:56,720 Speaker 1: be like, oh my god, you remind me so much 162 00:08:56,760 --> 00:08:59,120 Speaker 1: of enter the exact YouTuber that I was mimicking. And 163 00:08:59,120 --> 00:09:00,840 Speaker 1: I'd be like, oh my god, that it's crazy. I've 164 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:01,520 Speaker 1: never even. 165 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:04,360 Speaker 3: Heard of them before. Wow, And it'd been a study 166 00:09:04,640 --> 00:09:04,880 Speaker 3: for you. 167 00:09:05,240 --> 00:09:05,520 Speaker 2: Yeah. 168 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:08,679 Speaker 1: I would watch them, and I would watch the way 169 00:09:08,720 --> 00:09:10,559 Speaker 1: that they moved their hands when they spoke or moved 170 00:09:10,559 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 1: to the head when they spoke, or they're like very 171 00:09:12,400 --> 00:09:16,480 Speaker 1: really really specific intonations on words, And I would go 172 00:09:16,559 --> 00:09:20,320 Speaker 1: to the mirror and I would copy it exactly, and 173 00:09:20,360 --> 00:09:23,640 Speaker 1: I would film myself and copy it exactly. I studied 174 00:09:23,640 --> 00:09:26,520 Speaker 1: it so hard because I knew that these people were liked, 175 00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,080 Speaker 1: and I know that Chloe, as my genuine self, was 176 00:09:30,120 --> 00:09:32,000 Speaker 1: not liked, and so I knew that the only way 177 00:09:32,040 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 1: that it could survive in this world was by copying 178 00:09:33,960 --> 00:09:36,320 Speaker 1: other people. And that's how I learned how to survive. 179 00:09:36,679 --> 00:09:39,240 Speaker 2: And that's how you learned to be an actor. Yeah, 180 00:09:39,320 --> 00:09:40,160 Speaker 2: that's incredible. 181 00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:44,520 Speaker 3: Once again, what looks like a hindrance and looks like 182 00:09:44,520 --> 00:09:46,920 Speaker 3: a liability has turned out to be an assey. 183 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess in disguise. Yeah, for sure. I think. 184 00:09:50,720 --> 00:09:53,920 Speaker 1: Look, maybe it's kind of toxic positivity. But for myself 185 00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: and for my story, I believe that everything happens for 186 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:58,160 Speaker 1: a reason, And a lot of the stories and a 187 00:09:58,160 --> 00:10:00,600 Speaker 1: lot of the pages in my story I would rip 188 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:02,200 Speaker 1: out in a heartbeat if I could, but I can't, 189 00:10:02,200 --> 00:10:03,400 Speaker 1: and that's not the way that the world works, and 190 00:10:03,440 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: that's not the way that my story works. So I've 191 00:10:05,640 --> 00:10:07,200 Speaker 1: got these pages, and so I might as well do 192 00:10:07,240 --> 00:10:08,160 Speaker 1: something positive with them. 193 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:15,320 Speaker 3: And so what made your parents take you and start 194 00:10:15,400 --> 00:10:18,839 Speaker 3: that process of that ended up in you getting diagnosed 195 00:10:18,840 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 3: as autistic. 196 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:23,800 Speaker 1: So I had a lot of struggles at school. I 197 00:10:24,040 --> 00:10:28,480 Speaker 1: had been in maybe like ten schools by the time 198 00:10:28,520 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 1: I was in year eight. That's amazing, it's a lot. 199 00:10:32,720 --> 00:10:36,600 Speaker 1: I got bullied really really horrifically by students and by teachers, 200 00:10:36,920 --> 00:10:40,640 Speaker 1: and was getting in trouble all the time and was 201 00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:43,880 Speaker 1: just really really struggling. And the older I got, the 202 00:10:43,920 --> 00:10:47,680 Speaker 1: more that those struggles became obvious. And it was my 203 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:50,160 Speaker 1: English teacher in year eight that called my parents in 204 00:10:50,679 --> 00:10:52,880 Speaker 1: and said, I think there might be something wrong with 205 00:10:52,920 --> 00:10:59,200 Speaker 1: your daughter. And she showed them my school work, and 206 00:10:59,280 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 1: she showed them my school reports and my locker and 207 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: how messy it was and how disorganized it was, and 208 00:11:06,040 --> 00:11:08,280 Speaker 1: said she she doesn't have friends, she doesn't play with anyone. 209 00:11:08,360 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 1: She hides in like the corner every single day at lunchtime. 210 00:11:12,880 --> 00:11:16,720 Speaker 1: She doesn't interact with people. She's just not at the 211 00:11:16,760 --> 00:11:18,880 Speaker 1: same standard that the other kids are. I think there 212 00:11:18,960 --> 00:11:23,000 Speaker 1: might be something wrong with her. And initially I went 213 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,680 Speaker 1: and I got AMRI scans done on my brain because 214 00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:30,520 Speaker 1: I have a pony who is literally the spawn of Satan. 215 00:11:30,440 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 2: And I have. 216 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:34,040 Speaker 1: I had owned her for about a year at that point, 217 00:11:34,080 --> 00:11:35,559 Speaker 1: and in that year of owning her, I think she'd 218 00:11:35,559 --> 00:11:40,640 Speaker 1: given me about eight concussions. And my parents thought that 219 00:11:40,920 --> 00:11:44,760 Speaker 1: I had brain damage because how many times have been 220 00:11:44,800 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: thrown off my pony. I also was really really sick 221 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,200 Speaker 1: as a baby, and they thought that maybe that sickness 222 00:11:50,760 --> 00:11:54,559 Speaker 1: had again changed my brain, and so they did AMRI test. 223 00:11:54,360 --> 00:11:55,720 Speaker 2: First and they all came back normal. 224 00:11:56,360 --> 00:12:00,079 Speaker 1: And then I went to a psychiatrist and started the 225 00:12:00,120 --> 00:12:05,040 Speaker 1: process of getting diagnosed with autism. And she said pretty quickly, 226 00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:06,960 Speaker 1: you know, we know that she's autistic, we just have 227 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,880 Speaker 1: to go through the formal testing now. And so I 228 00:12:09,880 --> 00:12:13,439 Speaker 1: think it was maybe six weeks worth of testing, and 229 00:12:13,720 --> 00:12:15,960 Speaker 1: after the last appointment, my mom walked out with my 230 00:12:16,040 --> 00:12:20,800 Speaker 1: paperwork in this really big book that was like a 231 00:12:20,840 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: full Bible, and autism right, and yeah, that's that's kind 232 00:12:24,920 --> 00:12:26,160 Speaker 1: of how it happens. 233 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:34,240 Speaker 3: So that's amazing because these many amazing people in that story. 234 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:38,959 Speaker 3: One of them is your English teacher, who, in those 235 00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:41,280 Speaker 3: eight years of schooling, was the first person. 236 00:12:41,880 --> 00:12:43,839 Speaker 1: She was part of the reason why I got the diagnosis. 237 00:12:43,840 --> 00:12:48,199 Speaker 1: But she wasn't a very kind woman. Okay, so she 238 00:12:48,280 --> 00:12:50,440 Speaker 1: wasn't going I think we should help her. She was going, 239 00:12:50,480 --> 00:12:53,040 Speaker 1: there's something wrong with her. We can't do anything for her. 240 00:12:53,640 --> 00:12:55,640 Speaker 1: I did, however, have one teacher when I was in 241 00:12:55,720 --> 00:12:58,760 Speaker 1: year four, and her name was Wendy, and she I 242 00:12:58,800 --> 00:13:02,079 Speaker 1: always talk about sidekicks and how in our stories were 243 00:13:02,120 --> 00:13:04,240 Speaker 1: our main characters, but every single story has to have 244 00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,400 Speaker 1: a sidekick, and sometimes the sidekicks are actually the most 245 00:13:06,400 --> 00:13:07,280 Speaker 1: important characters. 246 00:13:08,040 --> 00:13:09,120 Speaker 2: And my biggest. 247 00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:12,160 Speaker 1: Sidekick growing up was my year four teacher, Wendy, and 248 00:13:12,200 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: she knew I was different, but she saw that difference 249 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:18,080 Speaker 1: as a positive thing, and she never tried to change me. 250 00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: She saw what I struggled with, and she saw what 251 00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:24,080 Speaker 1: I was really good at, and she focused on what 252 00:13:24,120 --> 00:13:25,760 Speaker 1: I was good at, and she supported me with what 253 00:13:25,800 --> 00:13:28,600 Speaker 1: I struggled with. Every single lunchtime, she knew how much 254 00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,640 Speaker 1: I hated lunchtime because I would just get bullied by 255 00:13:30,679 --> 00:13:32,600 Speaker 1: all of the other kids, and she would let me 256 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:34,560 Speaker 1: hang out with her and we would call it together, 257 00:13:34,720 --> 00:13:37,040 Speaker 1: and she would bring her border Coolie in every day. 258 00:13:37,160 --> 00:13:39,960 Speaker 2: The animals such, yeah, animals are so important to me. 259 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:45,320 Speaker 1: During assignments, she would let me do my history assignments 260 00:13:45,360 --> 00:13:49,040 Speaker 1: on Titanic because that's what my special interest is. She 261 00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,439 Speaker 1: would let me just yap to her for hours about 262 00:13:51,440 --> 00:13:55,000 Speaker 1: horses and about Titanic and about dolphins and about the ocean. 263 00:13:55,080 --> 00:13:58,560 Speaker 1: And she encouraged every single part of me that made 264 00:13:58,559 --> 00:14:00,400 Speaker 1: me good and didn't care about the part to me 265 00:14:00,520 --> 00:14:04,240 Speaker 1: that weren't good. And I owe so much of who 266 00:14:04,240 --> 00:14:05,120 Speaker 1: I am now to her. 267 00:14:05,520 --> 00:14:09,080 Speaker 3: That's extraordinary. But there must have been a part of 268 00:14:09,080 --> 00:14:13,240 Speaker 3: you if you go forward from year four and windy 269 00:14:14,559 --> 00:14:19,880 Speaker 3: to wanting an explanation yourself. So when you had the Mriyes, 270 00:14:20,680 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 3: was there a part of you that went, maybe it 271 00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:26,160 Speaker 3: is the falling from the pony, even though you must 272 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:29,600 Speaker 3: have always known because you'd lived inside yourself. Yeah, but 273 00:14:29,680 --> 00:14:31,560 Speaker 3: it wasn't that, Yeah. 274 00:14:31,280 --> 00:14:33,480 Speaker 2: For sure. I think it's interesting. 275 00:14:33,640 --> 00:14:36,720 Speaker 1: I have so many parents that talk to me now saying, oh, 276 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:38,920 Speaker 1: my kids just been diagnosed autistic, but I'm not going 277 00:14:38,960 --> 00:14:41,560 Speaker 1: to tell them, And that's always so bizarre to me 278 00:14:41,680 --> 00:14:44,480 Speaker 1: because humans label things. It's what we do because we're 279 00:14:44,520 --> 00:14:46,520 Speaker 1: all stupid and have little monkey pea breeds, and we 280 00:14:46,560 --> 00:14:49,960 Speaker 1: need to label things to feel comfortable with them. And 281 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,400 Speaker 1: people are scared of having a label of autism because 282 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,680 Speaker 1: they think that you have now labeled something. But what 283 00:14:56,760 --> 00:15:00,680 Speaker 1: they don't understand is that we label everything, and your 284 00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:04,120 Speaker 1: child may not be labeled autistic, but to their peers, 285 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,640 Speaker 1: they're going to be labeled as something else, and it's 286 00:15:06,680 --> 00:15:09,120 Speaker 1: going to be a word that isn't kind. Yeah, So 287 00:15:09,320 --> 00:15:12,560 Speaker 1: changing that label to one that actually has diagnostic value 288 00:15:12,760 --> 00:15:15,320 Speaker 1: and that they can actually understand and that they can 289 00:15:15,440 --> 00:15:18,480 Speaker 1: learn better about their brain and how they function throughout 290 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:21,560 Speaker 1: the world is so so important because they're going to 291 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:23,320 Speaker 1: have an autistic brain from the day that they're born 292 00:15:23,400 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 1: to the day that they die. The best thing you 293 00:15:25,520 --> 00:15:27,480 Speaker 1: can do for them is have that diagnosis and have 294 00:15:27,520 --> 00:15:29,520 Speaker 1: that understanding so that they can better move throughout the 295 00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:32,520 Speaker 1: world not thinking that they're a broken, normal person, but 296 00:15:32,560 --> 00:15:34,080 Speaker 1: they're a perfect autistic person. 297 00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:40,160 Speaker 3: Coming up next, Chloe talks about the bullying she endured 298 00:15:40,160 --> 00:15:45,200 Speaker 3: at school and how deeply it affected her. When you 299 00:15:45,280 --> 00:15:51,560 Speaker 3: were in the process of being bullied, how did you 300 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:53,320 Speaker 3: cope with that? 301 00:15:54,240 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 2: I struggled a lot. 302 00:15:56,440 --> 00:15:59,440 Speaker 1: I had an eating disorder from the time I was twelve, 303 00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:01,600 Speaker 1: and I struggled with that. 304 00:16:01,640 --> 00:16:04,400 Speaker 2: For more than a decade. 305 00:16:05,760 --> 00:16:08,760 Speaker 1: Boy nearly killed me. Like I'm not going to sit 306 00:16:08,800 --> 00:16:10,440 Speaker 1: here and be like, you know it's water. If it 307 00:16:10,520 --> 00:16:13,600 Speaker 1: ducks back and you know it wasn't it sucked. I 308 00:16:13,640 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 1: wouldn't wish that on anyone. The fact that I'm still 309 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,440 Speaker 1: alive today is because I had a support network, and 310 00:16:20,520 --> 00:16:22,560 Speaker 1: I had a home that I could go home to 311 00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,760 Speaker 1: that was safe and that supported me, and that I 312 00:16:24,800 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: knew that I was going to be loved because of 313 00:16:26,960 --> 00:16:28,800 Speaker 1: who I am and not because of who I wasn't. 314 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,680 Speaker 1: I found so much comfort in my animals, horses. 315 00:16:33,800 --> 00:16:35,600 Speaker 2: I truly think horses, say. 316 00:16:35,720 --> 00:16:38,160 Speaker 3: Even the spawn of Satan, more than anything. 317 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:40,720 Speaker 1: I still have that pony my dad liked threat to 318 00:16:40,760 --> 00:16:42,880 Speaker 1: send her to the glue factory so many times, Marley. 319 00:16:43,520 --> 00:16:47,600 Speaker 1: And she's twenty now and she's she chases people with 320 00:16:47,680 --> 00:16:53,040 Speaker 1: her teeth bed and she has like is thrown off 321 00:16:53,360 --> 00:16:57,320 Speaker 1: champion horse riders. And I love her more like that's 322 00:16:57,320 --> 00:17:03,440 Speaker 1: my biological child. I love her so much because I 323 00:17:03,480 --> 00:17:06,320 Speaker 1: actually think she's a lot like me. Because and I 324 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,400 Speaker 1: think she's I actually think she's really cool because she's 325 00:17:09,400 --> 00:17:11,439 Speaker 1: not gonna let people walk all over her. You have 326 00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:12,879 Speaker 1: to respect her and you have to see her as 327 00:17:12,880 --> 00:17:14,399 Speaker 1: an equal. And if you don't see that she's going 328 00:17:14,480 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: to tell you offer it, and I think that more 329 00:17:15,880 --> 00:17:17,679 Speaker 1: women need to do that. So I think she's a 330 00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:20,280 Speaker 1: really cool, powerful independent woman, and I think more women 331 00:17:20,320 --> 00:17:21,320 Speaker 1: need to be like mum. 332 00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:27,920 Speaker 2: But yeah, my ponies, my parents. So did you grow 333 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,760 Speaker 2: up rural? So did I grew up in Geelong? 334 00:17:30,920 --> 00:17:34,080 Speaker 1: I grew up everywhere, So I've lived in like eighteen houses. 335 00:17:34,119 --> 00:17:38,800 Speaker 1: I think, like' just we've been everywhere. I grew up 336 00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 1: mostly in the city in the suburbs until I was twelve, 337 00:17:43,040 --> 00:17:46,800 Speaker 1: and then my mental health got so bad. My grandparents 338 00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:48,920 Speaker 1: have always lived in the country and we'd always go there, 339 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:51,840 Speaker 1: and my mental health got so bad when I was 340 00:17:51,880 --> 00:17:55,320 Speaker 1: twelve that my parents figured out that the only thing 341 00:17:55,720 --> 00:17:57,680 Speaker 1: that would keep me alive was going to the country 342 00:17:57,840 --> 00:18:01,120 Speaker 1: and having horses and being around animals all the time. 343 00:18:01,240 --> 00:18:04,280 Speaker 1: So they picked up their whole life and we moved 344 00:18:04,320 --> 00:18:08,359 Speaker 1: to the Ara Valley and I can truly say that 345 00:18:08,359 --> 00:18:11,840 Speaker 1: that move changed my life. And to this day, when 346 00:18:11,880 --> 00:18:13,560 Speaker 1: the world gets too much, I just go out and 347 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:16,880 Speaker 1: I sit with my horses. My mum's an equine therapist, 348 00:18:17,119 --> 00:18:19,439 Speaker 1: and I've seen like the change, Like I never had 349 00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:23,679 Speaker 1: an official equine therapy, but horses have always been my therapy. 350 00:18:23,720 --> 00:18:24,639 Speaker 2: Horses are incredible. 351 00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:26,959 Speaker 1: They if you don't know what you're feeling, or you're 352 00:18:26,960 --> 00:18:29,040 Speaker 1: struggling to tept for what you're feeling, they'll tell you 353 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 1: I did it once at it's incredible at. 354 00:18:31,600 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 3: A wellness retreat. Yeah. 355 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:35,320 Speaker 2: And that. 356 00:18:36,920 --> 00:18:42,560 Speaker 3: The they're all seeing capacity is it's incredible. 357 00:18:43,040 --> 00:18:44,840 Speaker 2: They're they're so phenomenal. 358 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 1: So, yeah, my horses have always have always, always always 359 00:18:48,640 --> 00:18:54,080 Speaker 1: been the most important thing to me. Creativity has also 360 00:18:54,160 --> 00:18:59,000 Speaker 1: always been really big, right, creating like art in any capacity. Yeah, 361 00:18:59,200 --> 00:19:00,600 Speaker 1: Just being able to get out of my head and 362 00:19:00,640 --> 00:19:02,920 Speaker 1: into my body has always kind of been how I've 363 00:19:02,960 --> 00:19:06,680 Speaker 1: been able to move away from all of it. 364 00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:10,880 Speaker 3: Well, and all of these elements I see in Quinnie, 365 00:19:10,880 --> 00:19:11,359 Speaker 3: which of. 366 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 2: Course was that's her, isn't it. 367 00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:20,119 Speaker 3: Yeah, that your character in Heartbreak Eye that really. 368 00:19:22,640 --> 00:19:25,320 Speaker 2: Leapt out to people. Thank you. 369 00:19:26,080 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 3: Yeah, And there are a lot of people who would 370 00:19:28,359 --> 00:19:33,560 Speaker 3: like to thank you for that, I think, because everything 371 00:19:33,720 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 3: seems apparent in retrospect, but there's always a first, Yeah, 372 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:44,000 Speaker 3: And to be in that space and in Australia in 373 00:19:44,040 --> 00:19:51,840 Speaker 3: that space, and relatively not a novice in acting, but 374 00:19:52,119 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 3: this was like. 375 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,080 Speaker 2: A huge it was my first big job. 376 00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:56,960 Speaker 3: Yeah, it was a huge job too. 377 00:19:57,680 --> 00:19:58,720 Speaker 2: How did you feel? 378 00:19:59,160 --> 00:20:02,240 Speaker 3: So we know we now know how that story's played 379 00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,160 Speaker 3: out in terms of the world and the success of it, 380 00:20:07,280 --> 00:20:10,639 Speaker 3: But how did you feel going in to tell the 381 00:20:10,680 --> 00:20:15,040 Speaker 3: story of Quinnie? And I gather it was quite collaborative 382 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 3: with the producers and the writers whatever, But how did 383 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:22,560 Speaker 3: you feel going in to tell this story that had 384 00:20:22,640 --> 00:20:23,439 Speaker 3: never been told. 385 00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:30,199 Speaker 1: It's interesting because in some ways it's incredibly exciting to 386 00:20:30,280 --> 00:20:33,840 Speaker 1: be able to be like the first autistic actress in 387 00:20:33,840 --> 00:20:37,520 Speaker 1: Australia and to be play such an important role, Like 388 00:20:37,560 --> 00:20:39,639 Speaker 1: I didn't have anyone growing up that I could look to, 389 00:20:40,280 --> 00:20:42,199 Speaker 1: and I think that's a really large reason why I 390 00:20:42,280 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 1: struggled and why the other kids around me struggled to 391 00:20:45,119 --> 00:20:47,399 Speaker 1: understand me, because there was no one that any of 392 00:20:47,440 --> 00:20:49,080 Speaker 1: us could look to and go, oh. 393 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,200 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's that's like Chloe. So now that. 394 00:20:52,720 --> 00:20:55,280 Speaker 1: Kids have someone that they can look to in Quinnie 395 00:20:55,320 --> 00:20:57,080 Speaker 1: and in so many other characters that are now starting 396 00:20:57,119 --> 00:20:58,000 Speaker 1: has come up as well. 397 00:20:58,359 --> 00:21:00,600 Speaker 2: It's so important. It's going to say lives. 398 00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:05,240 Speaker 1: But on the other hands, Heartbreak High came out in 399 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:06,639 Speaker 1: what twenty three? 400 00:21:07,040 --> 00:21:12,200 Speaker 2: Maybe yeah is post COVID, Yeah, post COVID. 401 00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:16,720 Speaker 1: That's ridiculous that it took us that long to get 402 00:21:17,480 --> 00:21:20,360 Speaker 1: an autistic character that was showcasing herself in that way. 403 00:21:20,520 --> 00:21:23,520 Speaker 1: That's wish, that's not something to be celebrated. That's abhorrent 404 00:21:23,560 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 1: that it. 405 00:21:23,760 --> 00:21:25,600 Speaker 2: Took that long. Do you think it took that long? 406 00:21:28,320 --> 00:21:30,680 Speaker 2: I think that's such a multifaceted question, but. 407 00:21:32,320 --> 00:21:36,560 Speaker 1: In like as the most basic answer, I don't know, because. 408 00:21:36,240 --> 00:21:37,720 Speaker 2: It shouldn't have taken that long. 409 00:21:38,520 --> 00:21:40,720 Speaker 1: If we want to look deeper, our world values a 410 00:21:40,840 --> 00:21:43,959 Speaker 1: very very specific idea of normality, and that isn't just 411 00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:47,160 Speaker 1: true for neuroda virgens. That's true for gender, it's true 412 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: for sexual orientation. It's true for race, it was true 413 00:21:52,240 --> 00:21:56,040 Speaker 1: true cultus, for women, it's like it's it is true 414 00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:59,679 Speaker 1: in every every single facet of the word. We value 415 00:22:00,400 --> 00:22:03,720 Speaker 1: a very very specific idea of being a person, and 416 00:22:03,760 --> 00:22:07,800 Speaker 1: so anyone that is outside of that box is still 417 00:22:07,840 --> 00:22:10,600 Speaker 1: considered revolutionary and is still considered taboo. 418 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:11,920 Speaker 2: Because it's almost like. 419 00:22:13,720 --> 00:22:21,119 Speaker 3: The entertainment job was to present normal. But as the 420 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:26,840 Speaker 3: world has changed and we realize that that definition is 421 00:22:26,920 --> 00:22:31,560 Speaker 3: so small now, it had to be a revolutionary act 422 00:22:31,680 --> 00:22:35,000 Speaker 3: to start to say, let's show some of what's not 423 00:22:35,320 --> 00:22:40,240 Speaker 3: normal and So when you were first contacted about the role, 424 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:42,560 Speaker 3: was it a straight up audition or were you. 425 00:22:42,840 --> 00:22:46,399 Speaker 1: Yeah, so the Heartbreak Hay audition was pretty standard in 426 00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:50,440 Speaker 1: terms of it was it was actually an open casting call, 427 00:22:50,520 --> 00:22:52,960 Speaker 1: so I believe that anyone in Australia could audition for it. 428 00:22:53,160 --> 00:22:55,960 Speaker 3: But what were you doing at that point that led them? 429 00:22:56,040 --> 00:22:58,600 Speaker 1: Wasn't because of no So I so I got sent 430 00:22:58,640 --> 00:23:02,120 Speaker 1: the audition brief from my ma and there was three 431 00:23:02,200 --> 00:23:04,600 Speaker 1: characters that they were auditioning for at the time, and 432 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:08,280 Speaker 1: Quinnie was one of them. And she I believe the 433 00:23:08,280 --> 00:23:11,879 Speaker 1: time it was written that she was possibly NEURROTI virgin. 434 00:23:12,000 --> 00:23:14,600 Speaker 2: It wasn't set in stone from memory, it was like 435 00:23:15,400 --> 00:23:16,320 Speaker 2: possibly ne're at. 436 00:23:16,240 --> 00:23:19,840 Speaker 1: A virgin neurota vigent coded sort of thing. So I 437 00:23:19,920 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 1: saw that audition and I was my whole thing at 438 00:23:24,040 --> 00:23:28,040 Speaker 1: the time was competitive horse riding, so I was competing 439 00:23:28,080 --> 00:23:30,400 Speaker 1: in rodeos and stuff like that, and I was actually 440 00:23:30,440 --> 00:23:32,360 Speaker 1: when I got the audition, I was in Bonnie Doom 441 00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:35,360 Speaker 1: competing and I saw this audition. 442 00:23:35,480 --> 00:23:36,920 Speaker 2: And usually if an audition. 443 00:23:36,640 --> 00:23:39,399 Speaker 1: Comes through and I'm in the middle of competing for 444 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:42,240 Speaker 1: the weekends, I'll kind of go it's not God's timing. 445 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:43,960 Speaker 1: I'm not supposed to do it, you know, put it 446 00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:45,840 Speaker 1: to one, put it to the side. I'm focusing on 447 00:23:45,880 --> 00:23:48,640 Speaker 1: this now. This came through and I could just tell 448 00:23:48,840 --> 00:23:51,320 Speaker 1: so deeply that this was my job. I was like, 449 00:23:51,400 --> 00:23:54,520 Speaker 1: this is my character. I like, that's my job. And 450 00:23:54,600 --> 00:23:58,280 Speaker 1: there's actually a video somewhere of me competing and you 451 00:23:58,280 --> 00:24:00,560 Speaker 1: can see my lips moving and it's me practicing my 452 00:24:00,600 --> 00:24:03,080 Speaker 1: script in the middle of my run. And I get 453 00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,320 Speaker 1: off and I get my makeup on and everything, and 454 00:24:05,320 --> 00:24:08,440 Speaker 1: I go when I do my audition, and I messaged 455 00:24:08,440 --> 00:24:10,679 Speaker 1: my agent like an hour later, I'm like, have you 456 00:24:10,680 --> 00:24:12,920 Speaker 1: heard back yet? And he's like, that's not how this works. 457 00:24:13,080 --> 00:24:14,919 Speaker 1: You know, that's not how this works. But I was 458 00:24:15,440 --> 00:24:17,320 Speaker 1: messaging him every single day. 459 00:24:18,040 --> 00:24:19,920 Speaker 2: How did the audition go? Then, so you must have 460 00:24:19,960 --> 00:24:22,080 Speaker 2: felt good. I don't know. 461 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,160 Speaker 1: I don't know if I felt like I did good. 462 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:26,840 Speaker 1: I was just like, I just want this so bad. 463 00:24:26,960 --> 00:24:29,880 Speaker 1: I wanted it so so bad. And then I don't remember. 464 00:24:30,000 --> 00:24:31,760 Speaker 1: It felt like years, but I'm not I think it 465 00:24:31,840 --> 00:24:34,360 Speaker 1: was probably a week or so later that I got 466 00:24:34,359 --> 00:24:38,399 Speaker 1: contacted or that he got contacted by the casting team 467 00:24:38,760 --> 00:24:40,840 Speaker 1: asking me to do a second audition, and then a 468 00:24:40,880 --> 00:24:42,520 Speaker 1: little bit after that, they asked me to do an 469 00:24:42,520 --> 00:24:45,399 Speaker 1: audition in front of the producers and the casting team, 470 00:24:45,960 --> 00:24:48,520 Speaker 1: and then we went into chemistry reads. And so chemistry 471 00:24:48,520 --> 00:24:53,080 Speaker 1: reads are where you do auditions with actors that are 472 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:56,639 Speaker 1: auditioning for characters that you're going to be playing alongside 473 00:24:56,680 --> 00:24:59,040 Speaker 1: to see how well you know how good your chemistry is. 474 00:25:00,080 --> 00:25:04,720 Speaker 1: I was doing came reads like every single day, and. 475 00:25:04,960 --> 00:25:08,480 Speaker 3: That's interesting, yeah, because as an actor auditioning for things, 476 00:25:08,640 --> 00:25:11,800 Speaker 3: you're always looking for the little clues that you know 477 00:25:11,920 --> 00:25:12,960 Speaker 3: to see how you're. 478 00:25:12,880 --> 00:25:15,040 Speaker 1: Going a lot, yes, But with that being said, like 479 00:25:15,080 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 1: I was doing camorriads every single day with different different 480 00:25:18,440 --> 00:25:21,560 Speaker 1: actors for other roles, right, And so my whole family 481 00:25:21,640 --> 00:25:24,000 Speaker 1: and my team were like, like, you are so close 482 00:25:24,040 --> 00:25:25,440 Speaker 1: to this, and I was like, I'm not listening. I 483 00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:27,879 Speaker 1: don't want to hear it because if I don't get this, 484 00:25:27,960 --> 00:25:28,480 Speaker 1: I don't want. 485 00:25:28,400 --> 00:25:29,080 Speaker 2: To be disappointed. 486 00:25:29,119 --> 00:25:32,320 Speaker 1: Because at this point, there had been so many jobs 487 00:25:32,320 --> 00:25:35,040 Speaker 1: that I had. I was like, it was down to 488 00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,240 Speaker 1: me and one other person and I didn't get it. 489 00:25:37,320 --> 00:25:39,359 Speaker 1: And there was also a couple of jobs that I 490 00:25:39,440 --> 00:25:41,720 Speaker 1: had and then they found out that I was autistic 491 00:25:41,720 --> 00:25:42,520 Speaker 1: and I lost the job. 492 00:25:42,680 --> 00:25:46,119 Speaker 3: Now I've heard you, I've heard you mention this before once. 493 00:25:47,480 --> 00:25:52,520 Speaker 3: How does that look like? How does that work? And 494 00:25:52,560 --> 00:25:55,480 Speaker 3: how do they how do they find out that you're 495 00:25:55,520 --> 00:25:58,960 Speaker 3: autistic in a way that it affects them to the 496 00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:01,359 Speaker 3: negative of the job that when they've met you and cast. 497 00:26:01,160 --> 00:26:02,959 Speaker 2: You the correct problem correct. 498 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:06,680 Speaker 1: That's the entire issue that and media has a lot 499 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:10,840 Speaker 1: of foothold in this. The way that autism has been 500 00:26:10,840 --> 00:26:15,320 Speaker 1: presented historically in media is extremely negative. When you hear 501 00:26:15,320 --> 00:26:18,800 Speaker 1: about autism, it's either from the lens of Sheldon Cooper 502 00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,640 Speaker 1: or what's eating Gilbert Grape or rain men. We see 503 00:26:21,760 --> 00:26:24,440 Speaker 1: very stereotype iadias of autism when it's presented to us 504 00:26:24,480 --> 00:26:28,000 Speaker 1: in fiction, and when we hear about autism and the news, 505 00:26:28,160 --> 00:26:31,880 Speaker 1: it's usually he's a criminal who's done something really bad 506 00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:33,880 Speaker 1: and by the way, we've just found out he's autistic, 507 00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: and it's made out that the reason why they did 508 00:26:35,720 --> 00:26:37,879 Speaker 1: something evil is because they're autistic, when most of the 509 00:26:37,920 --> 00:26:40,199 Speaker 1: time it mean all the time it had nothing to 510 00:26:40,200 --> 00:26:41,639 Speaker 1: do with the fact. They're just going to use that 511 00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:46,440 Speaker 1: because it's a story. It's very rare that we ever 512 00:26:46,520 --> 00:26:50,040 Speaker 1: hear of autistic people in the media, but so. 513 00:26:50,280 --> 00:26:54,560 Speaker 3: When they these producers for these roles that you were 514 00:26:54,560 --> 00:26:56,000 Speaker 3: offered and then were retracted. 515 00:26:56,040 --> 00:27:00,720 Speaker 2: So the idea is that they hear autism. Goody as 516 00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,080 Speaker 2: you know Chloe's autistic. 517 00:27:02,160 --> 00:27:05,040 Speaker 1: Well, I told so the role that I lost specifically, 518 00:27:05,160 --> 00:27:08,960 Speaker 1: I think it was over a decade ago now that 519 00:27:09,119 --> 00:27:10,560 Speaker 1: this specific incident happens. 520 00:27:11,080 --> 00:27:14,919 Speaker 3: So time is important in these conversations, isn't it. 521 00:27:15,119 --> 00:27:16,280 Speaker 2: Absolutely I don't. 522 00:27:16,400 --> 00:27:19,080 Speaker 1: I think discrimination laws would stop that from happening. 523 00:27:19,119 --> 00:27:20,760 Speaker 2: Now. I don't know. 524 00:27:20,880 --> 00:27:24,199 Speaker 1: I have heard of people in the industry I'm I 525 00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 1: work with MAAA there, I'm on the disability board for that, 526 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:29,879 Speaker 1: and I have heard of some really horrific stories of 527 00:27:29,920 --> 00:27:33,640 Speaker 1: disabled people losing jobs because of being disabled or being 528 00:27:33,640 --> 00:27:35,360 Speaker 1: discriminated against because of being disabled. 529 00:27:35,400 --> 00:27:36,800 Speaker 2: It still happens every single day. 530 00:27:37,480 --> 00:27:39,800 Speaker 1: But with this specific incident, it was over a decade ago, 531 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:42,800 Speaker 1: and I think I told them that I was autistic. 532 00:27:43,840 --> 00:27:44,640 Speaker 2: After they told me. 533 00:27:44,600 --> 00:27:48,240 Speaker 1: That I had the job, and they sent me an 534 00:27:48,240 --> 00:27:51,880 Speaker 1: email and said, hey, we've decided to change paths. We're 535 00:27:51,880 --> 00:27:53,439 Speaker 1: going down a different route. They didn't tell me that 536 00:27:53,480 --> 00:27:56,160 Speaker 1: I didn't get the job because I'm autistics, but there 537 00:27:56,280 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: was no new information for them other than me being 538 00:28:00,080 --> 00:28:02,680 Speaker 1: artistic when I lost the job. 539 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,360 Speaker 3: Well, this is an interesting thing because because of your 540 00:28:06,560 --> 00:28:14,199 Speaker 3: advocacy and your openness, and there's so much education to 541 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:20,200 Speaker 3: be done. Still, even though there's such a plethora of 542 00:28:20,480 --> 00:28:25,960 Speaker 3: neurodivergent people and people neurodivergence amongst people that people love 543 00:28:26,040 --> 00:28:29,639 Speaker 3: and children and cousins and brothers and whatever, that it 544 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:34,720 Speaker 3: still seems a rarity. It's not a rarity anymore. But 545 00:28:34,920 --> 00:28:38,320 Speaker 3: in your body of work. And so we've talked about 546 00:28:38,400 --> 00:28:47,320 Speaker 3: Quinnie for instance, do you, as an actor, do you 547 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:52,560 Speaker 3: want to play autistic characters or do you want to 548 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:54,080 Speaker 3: play characters? 549 00:28:54,920 --> 00:28:56,360 Speaker 2: I want to play characters. 550 00:28:57,120 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: I think that having autistic people playing onistic people is 551 00:29:02,480 --> 00:29:05,760 Speaker 1: absolutely vital. I do not think anyone that is not 552 00:29:05,800 --> 00:29:12,000 Speaker 1: autistic should ever play an autistic person. With that being said, 553 00:29:12,440 --> 00:29:15,720 Speaker 1: I don't think that autistic actors should only be playing 554 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:20,960 Speaker 1: autistic people, especially because I am quite positive that the 555 00:29:21,000 --> 00:29:25,840 Speaker 1: majority of the industry is neurodivergent. So you're not going 556 00:29:25,920 --> 00:29:29,480 Speaker 1: to have any characters atist. But I'm an actor. My 557 00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:32,120 Speaker 1: job is to play pretend. I've been playing pretended being 558 00:29:32,120 --> 00:29:34,800 Speaker 1: neurotypical very very well for a very very long time. 559 00:29:36,880 --> 00:29:40,840 Speaker 1: Autistic characters need to be played by autistic people. But 560 00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:46,000 Speaker 1: when it comes to opening that up, I'm not an 561 00:29:46,040 --> 00:29:49,440 Speaker 1: autistic actor. I'm an actor and I also happen to 562 00:29:49,440 --> 00:29:53,440 Speaker 1: be autistic, and I think that's you know, I've I've 563 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:56,480 Speaker 1: played characters where I'm a drug addict. I'm not a 564 00:29:56,560 --> 00:30:01,320 Speaker 1: drug addict. I've played characters where you know that I'm like, 565 00:30:01,520 --> 00:30:04,360 Speaker 1: really nasty. I don't think I'm really nasty. Like I 566 00:30:04,400 --> 00:30:07,320 Speaker 1: you know, my job is to play pretend and there's 567 00:30:08,520 --> 00:30:10,920 Speaker 1: there's no limits to what playing pretend is. But when 568 00:30:10,920 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: we're talking about minority casting, and that's when it comes 569 00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:19,120 Speaker 1: to race, when it comes to disability, specifically, when it 570 00:30:19,160 --> 00:30:23,960 Speaker 1: comes to trans characters, there are certain roles that only 571 00:30:24,040 --> 00:30:27,480 Speaker 1: certain people can play, and a lot of it because 572 00:30:28,680 --> 00:30:31,719 Speaker 1: of where the industry is at the moment. One in 573 00:30:31,720 --> 00:30:35,120 Speaker 1: five Australians are disabled. When we look at screen, one 574 00:30:35,160 --> 00:30:39,080 Speaker 1: in five characters are not disabled. That's an issue when 575 00:30:39,120 --> 00:30:43,720 Speaker 1: we're watching Neighbors or Home and Away or Heartbreak High 576 00:30:43,840 --> 00:30:46,240 Speaker 1: or like you know, enter your movie or TV show here. 577 00:30:47,920 --> 00:30:50,120 Speaker 1: So much of the time, if you're seeing a disabled character, 578 00:30:50,160 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 1: their entire storyline is that they're disabled. 579 00:30:52,720 --> 00:30:53,840 Speaker 2: And I love Quinnie. 580 00:30:53,920 --> 00:30:55,800 Speaker 1: I think She's done incredible things for the community, but 581 00:30:55,840 --> 00:30:58,480 Speaker 1: her whole storyline is that she's autistic. We need to 582 00:30:58,480 --> 00:31:02,160 Speaker 1: move away from that. She was incredible and I love 583 00:31:02,200 --> 00:31:05,280 Speaker 1: her like Quinny is so important to me, but her 584 00:31:05,360 --> 00:31:08,000 Speaker 1: job was to be the autistic character and she did 585 00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,360 Speaker 1: incredible it being that, we now need to go a 586 00:31:10,400 --> 00:31:12,719 Speaker 1: step more and we now need to have characters that 587 00:31:14,160 --> 00:31:16,960 Speaker 1: just so happened to be disabled and it has nothing 588 00:31:17,000 --> 00:31:20,080 Speaker 1: to do with them. We need to move away from 589 00:31:20,440 --> 00:31:22,800 Speaker 1: let's cast someone disabled so we can have a disabled 590 00:31:22,800 --> 00:31:25,880 Speaker 1: storyline and move on to we need to cast a 591 00:31:25,960 --> 00:31:28,280 Speaker 1: villain and they happen to be an amputee. 592 00:31:28,400 --> 00:31:29,000 Speaker 3: We need to. 593 00:31:28,960 --> 00:31:31,840 Speaker 2: Cast and they happen to be in a wheelchair. 594 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,800 Speaker 1: We need to now have what Bridgington did with Race 595 00:31:35,200 --> 00:31:39,240 Speaker 1: exactly and also the most recent season of Bridging and 596 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:41,520 Speaker 1: also did really well when it comes to disability casting. 597 00:31:41,600 --> 00:31:45,360 Speaker 1: One of the one of the maids is an amputee. Awesome, 598 00:31:45,520 --> 00:31:47,719 Speaker 1: and we never hear about She never brings it up, 599 00:31:47,760 --> 00:31:49,719 Speaker 1: No one else ever brings it up. She just happens 600 00:31:49,720 --> 00:31:53,200 Speaker 1: to be an amputee. There's there's two people in Bridging 601 00:31:53,280 --> 00:31:55,880 Speaker 1: and that are using sign language and it's never brought 602 00:31:55,920 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 1: up it just so happens to be there. We need 603 00:31:57,760 --> 00:31:59,800 Speaker 1: to have so much more of that so that when 604 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:04,800 Speaker 1: kids are watching media, it's just an intrinsic part of 605 00:32:04,800 --> 00:32:06,680 Speaker 1: their lives, the same way that it is in the 606 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:07,160 Speaker 1: real world. 607 00:32:07,640 --> 00:32:13,720 Speaker 3: So, given the nature of your advocacy and how alive 608 00:32:13,880 --> 00:32:19,120 Speaker 3: that is, do you sometimes feel that you have you 609 00:32:19,120 --> 00:32:26,000 Speaker 3: bear the responsibility for so many people behind you, or 610 00:32:26,000 --> 00:32:26,960 Speaker 3: they're be coming through the. 611 00:32:26,960 --> 00:32:27,800 Speaker 2: Door with you. 612 00:32:28,480 --> 00:32:32,760 Speaker 1: I think I am very privileged to be in the 613 00:32:32,760 --> 00:32:37,520 Speaker 1: body that I'm in because for me, despite the fact 614 00:32:37,600 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 1: that i was bullied and not treated kindly, because I'm autistic, 615 00:32:44,600 --> 00:32:49,080 Speaker 1: because I appear to be able bodied, and because I'm white, 616 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:53,880 Speaker 1: and because I'm conventionally attractive, it is much easier for 617 00:32:53,960 --> 00:32:56,520 Speaker 1: people to listen to me than it would be to 618 00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:57,680 Speaker 1: listen to someone else. 619 00:32:59,320 --> 00:33:02,800 Speaker 2: And because of that, and also, you. 620 00:33:02,760 --> 00:33:05,000 Speaker 1: Know, I know that I'm good at my job, and 621 00:33:05,040 --> 00:33:06,640 Speaker 1: I know that I'm good at speaking, and I know 622 00:33:06,680 --> 00:33:07,520 Speaker 1: that I'm good at Pixie. 623 00:33:07,560 --> 00:33:09,840 Speaker 2: I know that all of that is there too. But because. 624 00:33:11,520 --> 00:33:13,640 Speaker 1: Of the body that I'm in and the position that 625 00:33:13,720 --> 00:33:16,760 Speaker 1: I'm in and the privilege that i have, I'm able 626 00:33:16,800 --> 00:33:20,800 Speaker 1: to be where I am. And I think it's very 627 00:33:20,920 --> 00:33:24,760 Speaker 1: very important that we don't stop there. Quinnie was incredible 628 00:33:24,760 --> 00:33:30,800 Speaker 1: for who she is, but Quinnie was only one representation 629 00:33:30,880 --> 00:33:34,560 Speaker 1: of autism, and she was an extremely palatable version of autism. 630 00:33:35,120 --> 00:33:37,880 Speaker 1: She was very manic, pixie dream girl autism. She was 631 00:33:38,000 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 1: very cute, and she was very quirky, and she wasn't 632 00:33:40,440 --> 00:33:42,880 Speaker 1: controversial and she was very sweet. 633 00:33:43,160 --> 00:33:44,280 Speaker 2: And that's palatable. 634 00:33:44,640 --> 00:33:49,400 Speaker 1: So it's an easy digestible way for people to go, Okay, I. 635 00:33:49,640 --> 00:33:50,720 Speaker 2: Can accept autism. 636 00:33:51,320 --> 00:33:53,480 Speaker 1: We now need to leave her and we need to 637 00:33:53,520 --> 00:33:55,960 Speaker 1: move away from that, and we need to offer those 638 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:59,960 Speaker 1: positions to black autistic people and non speaking autistic peace 639 00:34:00,000 --> 00:34:03,840 Speaker 1: people and autistic people that live in bodies and present 640 00:34:04,320 --> 00:34:07,600 Speaker 1: differently to the way that I do. And in some 641 00:34:07,680 --> 00:34:12,280 Speaker 1: ways that is my responsibility, but it's also the responsibility 642 00:34:12,320 --> 00:34:16,360 Speaker 1: more so for the industry and for key players in 643 00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:19,040 Speaker 1: the game. My job is to go, you've given me 644 00:34:19,120 --> 00:34:21,680 Speaker 1: these jobs. I need you to open these jobs up 645 00:34:21,680 --> 00:34:25,239 Speaker 1: to other people. And that's why I'm in politics and 646 00:34:25,280 --> 00:34:27,959 Speaker 1: that's why I'm in the Actors' Union to make sure 647 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:30,400 Speaker 1: that more people can have these opportunities, because it can't 648 00:34:30,480 --> 00:34:31,160 Speaker 1: just stay with me. 649 00:34:31,640 --> 00:34:36,040 Speaker 3: And do you ever feel like some days when because 650 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:39,960 Speaker 3: you have a finite amount of energy that there's not 651 00:34:40,120 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 3: enough energy for that, or you wish you didn't have 652 00:34:42,480 --> 00:34:43,880 Speaker 3: to exchange your energy on that. 653 00:34:45,040 --> 00:34:47,760 Speaker 1: It's not my job to advocate for everyone all the time. 654 00:34:48,040 --> 00:34:49,920 Speaker 1: And that's something that I have to continue to remind 655 00:34:49,920 --> 00:34:52,840 Speaker 1: myself because I get told by a lot of people 656 00:34:52,880 --> 00:34:58,279 Speaker 1: that I need to have this energy and this passion twenty. 657 00:34:57,920 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 2: Four seven as no one can do that. It is 658 00:35:00,520 --> 00:35:01,239 Speaker 2: not up to me. 659 00:35:01,800 --> 00:35:04,840 Speaker 1: And I get told a lot often by the autistic 660 00:35:04,840 --> 00:35:07,840 Speaker 1: community that I'm not doing enough, oh. 661 00:35:07,719 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 2: Really quite often. 662 00:35:10,480 --> 00:35:14,360 Speaker 1: And I understand whether that's a huge community, absolutely, And 663 00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:17,000 Speaker 1: that's that's the thing, Like I absolutely understand where that 664 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:19,440 Speaker 1: frustration comes from. I one, one hundred percent understand why 665 00:35:19,440 --> 00:35:22,839 Speaker 1: they are frustrated. But it is not up to me alone. 666 00:35:23,680 --> 00:35:25,920 Speaker 2: And there are so many autistic people out there now. 667 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:29,839 Speaker 1: Like when I started blogging, I didn't see anyone else 668 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: that was talking about it. Now, if you go to 669 00:35:31,680 --> 00:35:34,200 Speaker 1: a bookshop, there are so many books made for autistic 670 00:35:34,239 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: people by autistic people. 671 00:35:36,640 --> 00:35:38,560 Speaker 2: There are a lot more than just me. Now, there 672 00:35:38,600 --> 00:35:40,680 Speaker 2: are significantly more than just me. Now. 673 00:35:40,960 --> 00:35:43,400 Speaker 1: It shouldn't be up to me, and it shouldn't be 674 00:35:43,480 --> 00:35:45,480 Speaker 1: up to me alone, and it also doesn't have to 675 00:35:45,520 --> 00:35:48,719 Speaker 1: be exactly and that's what community is. Community is if 676 00:35:48,760 --> 00:35:51,040 Speaker 1: I need to take a break, someone else is going 677 00:35:51,080 --> 00:35:53,279 Speaker 1: to step up and we need to That's how we 678 00:35:53,320 --> 00:35:57,080 Speaker 1: need to be in all facets of society that I 679 00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:00,000 Speaker 1: if I need to step down because if I'm burnt out, 680 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 1: but I'm not going to help anyone. No, And I 681 00:36:03,960 --> 00:36:05,960 Speaker 1: think the biggest thing when it comes to advocacy is 682 00:36:05,960 --> 00:36:07,759 Speaker 1: we have to put we have to put ourselves first. 683 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:11,160 Speaker 1: And you also have to navigate yourself absolutely because I 684 00:36:11,200 --> 00:36:13,840 Speaker 1: can't help people if I'm not helping myself, Like I 685 00:36:13,880 --> 00:36:16,240 Speaker 1: have to be able to make sure that my mental 686 00:36:16,280 --> 00:36:20,560 Speaker 1: health is safe because if I am broken down and 687 00:36:20,600 --> 00:36:24,360 Speaker 1: burnt out, I can't help anyone. And so me pushing 688 00:36:24,400 --> 00:36:27,160 Speaker 1: myself day in and day out and getting burnt out 689 00:36:27,160 --> 00:36:30,520 Speaker 1: and getting depressed and not able to function doesn't help anyone. 690 00:36:30,560 --> 00:36:32,200 Speaker 2: So if I step down, more step up. 691 00:36:32,480 --> 00:36:39,880 Speaker 3: And also you have to live your life to its fullest, 692 00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:46,279 Speaker 3: and that means not necessarily taking on everyone else's challenges 693 00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:50,319 Speaker 3: because that's you'll think like the Titanic exactly. But you 694 00:36:50,400 --> 00:36:54,480 Speaker 3: also have a life to live of family and friends 695 00:36:54,520 --> 00:37:00,640 Speaker 3: and love and yeah, after this short break, he reveals 696 00:37:00,680 --> 00:37:05,040 Speaker 3: that she was advised by industry members to stop talking 697 00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:14,560 Speaker 3: about autism because you are an actor, and actors are 698 00:37:14,560 --> 00:37:18,760 Speaker 3: often comparative with each other the nature of it, who's 699 00:37:18,800 --> 00:37:21,359 Speaker 3: getting work, who's whatever, who's got the most lines, who's 700 00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:24,840 Speaker 3: the da da dada. Because you require a certain amount 701 00:37:24,840 --> 00:37:27,520 Speaker 3: of ego to be an actor, and at the same 702 00:37:27,560 --> 00:37:29,440 Speaker 3: time you have to manage that ego so it doesn't 703 00:37:29,560 --> 00:37:33,839 Speaker 3: gobble you up. So when you started to get all 704 00:37:33,880 --> 00:37:39,520 Speaker 3: this attention for Quinnie, for instance, that no one really 705 00:37:39,560 --> 00:37:42,359 Speaker 3: could have anticipated, maybe you knew it absolutely not. 706 00:37:43,760 --> 00:37:44,719 Speaker 2: How was that? 707 00:37:45,280 --> 00:37:48,359 Speaker 3: And I mean the whole cast was riding the wave 708 00:37:48,440 --> 00:37:53,440 Speaker 3: as well, deservedly so, But how was that for you 709 00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:59,000 Speaker 3: on an individual basis, given that you came from a 710 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:05,960 Speaker 3: background where you'd been persecuted for being different before. Was 711 00:38:06,000 --> 00:38:08,600 Speaker 3: there any elements of that that you were like, Oh, 712 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:12,960 Speaker 3: I have to proceed a bit cautiously here, or do 713 00:38:13,000 --> 00:38:13,640 Speaker 3: you know what I mean? 714 00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:17,160 Speaker 1: People told me to proceed cautiously. I had people that 715 00:38:17,200 --> 00:38:19,600 Speaker 1: were very key players in the industry told me that 716 00:38:19,640 --> 00:38:22,560 Speaker 1: I wasn't allowed to speak up anymore, and for a 717 00:38:22,640 --> 00:38:27,359 Speaker 1: really long time it terrified me. I was told by 718 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:31,279 Speaker 1: people that because I was told by people that I 719 00:38:31,320 --> 00:38:33,600 Speaker 1: can't bite the hands that feeds me. And I've been 720 00:38:33,600 --> 00:38:34,120 Speaker 1: told that a lot. 721 00:38:34,200 --> 00:38:35,880 Speaker 3: And in what way would you have been barding the 722 00:38:35,960 --> 00:38:40,120 Speaker 3: hand I am in the general industry? 723 00:38:40,239 --> 00:38:40,560 Speaker 2: Yep? 724 00:38:41,400 --> 00:38:45,400 Speaker 1: And if journalists are going to speak negatively about autism 725 00:38:46,120 --> 00:38:50,239 Speaker 1: in articles that feature me, if people are going to 726 00:38:50,280 --> 00:38:54,040 Speaker 1: be doing really evil things in the industry, I'm not 727 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,279 Speaker 1: allowed to call them out on that. 728 00:38:55,400 --> 00:38:59,200 Speaker 3: You know why. That's like that saying, never pick a 729 00:38:59,239 --> 00:39:02,319 Speaker 3: fart with some one who buys ink by the barrel. Yes, 730 00:39:02,600 --> 00:39:05,160 Speaker 3: so they've got you don't want to antagonize the people 731 00:39:05,200 --> 00:39:06,040 Speaker 3: who hold the power. 732 00:39:06,400 --> 00:39:08,280 Speaker 2: See, And I've been told that a lot. 733 00:39:08,440 --> 00:39:12,520 Speaker 1: I have been told by so many people that now 734 00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:15,360 Speaker 1: that I'm in the industry, I can't criticize the industry. 735 00:39:15,800 --> 00:39:17,840 Speaker 1: I think, more so than ever, I need to criticize 736 00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:20,879 Speaker 1: the industry because I'm here, and I think that's true 737 00:39:20,880 --> 00:39:23,279 Speaker 1: for anyone. I think you know, have look at all 738 00:39:23,280 --> 00:39:25,239 Speaker 1: of the stuff that's happening with the Epsteine files and 739 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:28,839 Speaker 1: how many major musicians and labels and managers are in it. 740 00:39:29,560 --> 00:39:30,839 Speaker 2: We have to call people out. 741 00:39:31,920 --> 00:39:35,120 Speaker 1: If you're not calling people out, you're being complicit in it. 742 00:39:35,160 --> 00:39:36,279 Speaker 2: And that it's just as bad. 743 00:39:38,120 --> 00:39:39,719 Speaker 1: I was told about for a really long time that 744 00:39:39,760 --> 00:39:41,640 Speaker 1: I'm not allowed to and that scared me so much 745 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:43,680 Speaker 1: because I thought that I had to choose between my 746 00:39:43,960 --> 00:39:46,520 Speaker 1: career and my advocacy. I had to choose between my 747 00:39:46,600 --> 00:39:49,880 Speaker 1: ethics and my values and my dreams. 748 00:39:50,920 --> 00:39:52,080 Speaker 2: That's not the case. 749 00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:57,040 Speaker 1: You have to be strong in your ethics regardless of 750 00:39:57,040 --> 00:40:00,279 Speaker 1: what you're doing. And I don't want to be in 751 00:40:00,280 --> 00:40:04,320 Speaker 1: this industry if I have to forfeit my morals and 752 00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,359 Speaker 1: my values just to get to where I want to go. 753 00:40:07,239 --> 00:40:10,359 Speaker 3: Was there a moment where, because there was so much 754 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:13,960 Speaker 3: spotlight on you, and because like I said, you were 755 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:18,040 Speaker 3: such a breakout star on the show amongst many stars 756 00:40:18,360 --> 00:40:22,239 Speaker 3: like they're great, great work on that show, did you 757 00:40:22,680 --> 00:40:26,800 Speaker 3: ever feel this is too much? Or did people around 758 00:40:26,840 --> 00:40:28,760 Speaker 3: you think this is too much? Were you ever aware 759 00:40:28,800 --> 00:40:32,520 Speaker 3: that there was that slight competition or oh, Chloe's getting 760 00:40:32,560 --> 00:40:35,000 Speaker 3: something again or I don't. 761 00:40:34,719 --> 00:40:38,319 Speaker 1: Think so, and again, like I just don't like I 762 00:40:38,360 --> 00:40:41,000 Speaker 1: see my co stars getting incredible roles and there's no 763 00:40:41,040 --> 00:40:43,080 Speaker 1: part of me that goes, oh, that should have been mine. 764 00:40:43,160 --> 00:40:45,120 Speaker 2: I want to celebrate. 765 00:40:44,640 --> 00:40:50,319 Speaker 1: Them, I think, particularly like when I look at other 766 00:40:50,400 --> 00:40:53,239 Speaker 1: young women in this industry, I just want to I 767 00:40:53,239 --> 00:40:54,120 Speaker 1: want to lift them up. 768 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,480 Speaker 2: I don't think this industry can survive if we're tearing 769 00:40:56,520 --> 00:40:58,759 Speaker 2: each other down. And that's true for everything. 770 00:40:59,239 --> 00:41:01,399 Speaker 3: It's true, but it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. 771 00:41:01,560 --> 00:41:03,799 Speaker 1: Absolutely, it doesn't mean that it doesn't happen. And it 772 00:41:03,840 --> 00:41:05,640 Speaker 1: happens a lot more than what you would want it to. 773 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:08,640 Speaker 1: But that doesn't mean that we should also do it. 774 00:41:08,800 --> 00:41:10,719 Speaker 1: Like we need to be the change that we want 775 00:41:10,760 --> 00:41:16,120 Speaker 1: to see, and like when it comes to heartbreak, everyone 776 00:41:16,200 --> 00:41:18,960 Speaker 1: is so like we all have so much love for 777 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:21,000 Speaker 1: each other that when we see each other doing well, 778 00:41:21,040 --> 00:41:23,839 Speaker 1: we genuinely love that, Like we genuinely want to see 779 00:41:23,840 --> 00:41:26,880 Speaker 1: each other doing well, Like your success is not an 780 00:41:26,920 --> 00:41:28,840 Speaker 1: indicator of my own success, you know. 781 00:41:29,520 --> 00:41:33,960 Speaker 2: And also it's very much a collective. You raise one, 782 00:41:34,040 --> 00:41:35,600 Speaker 2: you raise everyone, you know. 783 00:41:35,600 --> 00:41:39,359 Speaker 3: The rising tide. Okay, let me ask you this thing. 784 00:41:40,080 --> 00:41:44,120 Speaker 3: Given that, how is how is the prospect of it ending? 785 00:41:44,280 --> 00:41:45,400 Speaker 3: Or how is it ending? 786 00:41:46,360 --> 00:41:48,320 Speaker 2: How does that feel? 787 00:41:48,800 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 1: It's it's very bittersweet, you know, Like we were saying, 788 00:41:52,560 --> 00:41:53,680 Speaker 1: it was my first big job. 789 00:41:54,680 --> 00:41:57,840 Speaker 2: I've been doing this for like five years. I think. 790 00:42:00,239 --> 00:42:05,520 Speaker 1: When I got heartbreak. The whole audition process was over zoom. 791 00:42:05,719 --> 00:42:08,400 Speaker 1: We didn't meet until we all moved up to Sydney 792 00:42:08,400 --> 00:42:11,759 Speaker 1: to stuff really yeah, which was very rare, but it's 793 00:42:11,760 --> 00:42:15,640 Speaker 1: because it was all dreams. We didn't meet until we 794 00:42:15,680 --> 00:42:18,000 Speaker 1: all had our roles, so none of. 795 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,240 Speaker 2: Us met anyone. 796 00:42:19,480 --> 00:42:21,720 Speaker 1: I didn't meet the other actors, I didn't meet the producers, 797 00:42:21,719 --> 00:42:23,719 Speaker 1: I didn't meet the directors. I didn't meet anyone until 798 00:42:23,760 --> 00:42:26,080 Speaker 1: we had all moved up and were living there. Oh 799 00:42:26,160 --> 00:42:31,719 Speaker 1: to start, and so I remember being terrified, Like I 800 00:42:32,160 --> 00:42:33,680 Speaker 1: was at the airport with my parents and I was 801 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:35,880 Speaker 1: bowling my eyes out. I had to get home schooled 802 00:42:35,880 --> 00:42:37,440 Speaker 1: in the eight because of how bad the bullying was. 803 00:42:37,480 --> 00:42:39,680 Speaker 1: I'm terrified of people my age. To this day, I'm 804 00:42:39,760 --> 00:42:43,160 Speaker 1: terrified of groups of people my age. And I went, 805 00:42:43,520 --> 00:42:46,480 Speaker 1: I can't do this. I'm about to live with twelve 806 00:42:46,520 --> 00:42:48,960 Speaker 1: people my age and they're all actors. That means they're 807 00:42:48,960 --> 00:42:52,600 Speaker 1: going to be cool, and they're going to be really talented, 808 00:42:52,760 --> 00:42:55,440 Speaker 1: and they're probably all going to be mean. I'm going 809 00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,080 Speaker 1: to get bullied. It's going to be like school again. 810 00:42:58,640 --> 00:43:00,920 Speaker 1: But I already signed the contract to back out, and 811 00:43:00,960 --> 00:43:03,960 Speaker 1: so I went there and I remember being so so scared, 812 00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,439 Speaker 1: and we met everyone and immediately I was like, Oh, 813 00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:11,600 Speaker 1: these people and my family and they're all weirdos, Like they're. 814 00:43:11,360 --> 00:43:16,920 Speaker 2: All just like me, and so I think that kind of. 815 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:22,319 Speaker 1: Stay throughout the whole time, and so finishing it was 816 00:43:22,440 --> 00:43:24,800 Speaker 1: very bittersweet because it was the first group of people 817 00:43:24,840 --> 00:43:29,560 Speaker 1: that I'd ever felt safe to be myself around, and 818 00:43:29,640 --> 00:43:31,799 Speaker 1: it was our first big job. And I remember like 819 00:43:31,880 --> 00:43:35,359 Speaker 1: during season one, we would go out and we'd see 820 00:43:36,320 --> 00:43:38,960 Speaker 1: other TV shows that had like signs on buses and 821 00:43:38,960 --> 00:43:39,560 Speaker 1: we were like. 822 00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,399 Speaker 2: Oh, my god, imagine if that's us. 823 00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,120 Speaker 1: One day we're like, no, don't even say that, Like 824 00:43:43,160 --> 00:43:45,440 Speaker 1: that's dreaming too big. Like we had no idea how 825 00:43:45,480 --> 00:43:48,640 Speaker 1: big this show was going to go. Like we've grown 826 00:43:48,680 --> 00:43:53,480 Speaker 1: in every single way you can grow together and have 827 00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:57,000 Speaker 1: seen each other through everything. So finishing that show, like 828 00:43:57,040 --> 00:44:00,760 Speaker 1: filming our last scene. I will never forget that feeling 829 00:44:00,800 --> 00:44:02,120 Speaker 1: of finishing our last scene. 830 00:44:04,200 --> 00:44:05,799 Speaker 2: Yeah. The beautiful thing is. 831 00:44:05,760 --> 00:44:07,960 Speaker 1: The Australian industry is quite small, and so I know 832 00:44:08,040 --> 00:44:10,600 Speaker 1: that we'll all be together in some capacity. It'll never 833 00:44:10,640 --> 00:44:13,040 Speaker 1: be like it is now, And everyone tells us how 834 00:44:13,080 --> 00:44:15,040 Speaker 1: special it is to have what we have and how 835 00:44:15,080 --> 00:44:16,040 Speaker 1: it is so rare. 836 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:20,279 Speaker 3: It's interesting though that you realize that, because you know, 837 00:44:20,360 --> 00:44:24,919 Speaker 3: sometimes you're in a period where that will only happen once, 838 00:44:25,120 --> 00:44:28,680 Speaker 3: but because you're in it, yeah, you don't recognize it. Yeah, 839 00:44:28,760 --> 00:44:32,200 Speaker 3: but really special things, I think you know when they're happening. 840 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:33,200 Speaker 2: I agree there. 841 00:44:34,040 --> 00:44:37,160 Speaker 3: And so on the last day, who was the what 842 00:44:38,360 --> 00:44:39,080 Speaker 3: set you are? 843 00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:43,360 Speaker 1: So we we all got to film our last scene together. 844 00:44:43,560 --> 00:44:46,120 Speaker 1: They made sure that the last scene of the whole 845 00:44:46,160 --> 00:44:48,080 Speaker 1: shoot was a scene that all of us were in together, 846 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:52,359 Speaker 1: which was really beautiful. And it was really really late, 847 00:44:52,440 --> 00:44:55,759 Speaker 1: like it was past midnight, and we were doing our 848 00:44:55,880 --> 00:45:00,279 Speaker 1: last setup for this scene and we didn't know how 849 00:45:00,360 --> 00:45:02,120 Speaker 1: many takes it would take, because you don't know if 850 00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:03,600 Speaker 1: it's going to be a one hit wonder if it's 851 00:45:03,600 --> 00:45:05,080 Speaker 1: going to take twenty times to do this take. And 852 00:45:05,120 --> 00:45:06,399 Speaker 1: so wh knew it was a last set up, meaning 853 00:45:06,440 --> 00:45:07,840 Speaker 1: we knew it was going to be really soon that 854 00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:11,040 Speaker 1: it was finishing. And I remember we were standing there 855 00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,480 Speaker 1: and we were all like hugging and holding hands and stuff, 856 00:45:13,520 --> 00:45:16,600 Speaker 1: just before the camera's called action and we were all 857 00:45:16,640 --> 00:45:20,040 Speaker 1: like fighting back tears, like the poor makeup team were 858 00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:21,480 Speaker 1: like struggling. 859 00:45:22,239 --> 00:45:24,200 Speaker 3: Of course, the touch us. 860 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:27,520 Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, and then I remember they did it a 861 00:45:27,560 --> 00:45:30,680 Speaker 1: few times, and every single time they would call cut, 862 00:45:31,600 --> 00:45:34,359 Speaker 1: Like the tension was so high because we were all 863 00:45:34,400 --> 00:45:38,759 Speaker 1: just standing there, just tense, going are they going to 864 00:45:38,800 --> 00:45:40,120 Speaker 1: say it? Are they going to say it? And the 865 00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:42,840 Speaker 1: last time we did it and they go, that's a 866 00:45:42,880 --> 00:45:45,640 Speaker 1: series wrap. Yeah, a series wrap on heart break high. 867 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:50,640 Speaker 1: We all burst into tears. It was just yeah, I'm like, 868 00:45:50,719 --> 00:45:53,759 Speaker 1: I'm never gonna forget that. And then we had to 869 00:45:53,920 --> 00:45:55,439 Speaker 1: We got home to our hotel, we had like three 870 00:45:55,440 --> 00:45:56,759 Speaker 1: hours of sleep and then we had to go to 871 00:45:56,800 --> 00:46:00,480 Speaker 1: Actor Awards in Queensland the next morning. It was just 872 00:46:01,160 --> 00:46:04,719 Speaker 1: it was hectic, but yeah, it was really beautiful. I'll 873 00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,840 Speaker 1: never forget that, and like, I'm always going to have 874 00:46:06,840 --> 00:46:07,840 Speaker 1: those people in my life. 875 00:46:08,239 --> 00:46:09,839 Speaker 2: Well, and they're going to have you in their lives. 876 00:46:09,920 --> 00:46:15,600 Speaker 3: Ye, because you're not going anywhere. I hope you know 877 00:46:16,320 --> 00:46:18,799 Speaker 3: noway that I don't think you can be seen and 878 00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:22,040 Speaker 3: now that you're a married lady. 879 00:46:23,000 --> 00:46:25,960 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's incredible, isn't it. Thanks. 880 00:46:26,360 --> 00:46:31,120 Speaker 3: I mean I find it incredible because I find the 881 00:46:31,160 --> 00:46:33,920 Speaker 3: story of your first date incredible. I find that what 882 00:46:34,960 --> 00:46:37,080 Speaker 3: it was on the apps you met Dylan who's now 883 00:46:37,080 --> 00:46:38,120 Speaker 3: your husband on the apps. 884 00:46:38,280 --> 00:46:42,640 Speaker 1: Yes, it was during COVID and I will put on 885 00:46:42,640 --> 00:46:45,359 Speaker 1: the record, I have never been a Tinder person. I 886 00:46:45,440 --> 00:46:48,440 Speaker 1: was never I was never someone that was on dating 887 00:46:48,480 --> 00:46:51,479 Speaker 1: apps because I didn't care for men very much. 888 00:46:51,760 --> 00:46:53,040 Speaker 2: I just didn't want to date. 889 00:46:53,600 --> 00:46:55,960 Speaker 1: And me and my sister both were like, let's just 890 00:46:55,960 --> 00:46:58,200 Speaker 1: do it for a laugh, like we're bored, we can't 891 00:46:58,280 --> 00:47:00,600 Speaker 1: leave the house. And then I think I met Dylan 892 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:03,359 Speaker 1: on like the first day, and we started talking. I went, ah, 893 00:47:03,600 --> 00:47:06,560 Speaker 1: damn it, like I actually really like this one that 894 00:47:06,760 --> 00:47:08,120 Speaker 1: wasn't meant to happen. 895 00:47:08,320 --> 00:47:09,400 Speaker 3: And what did you see. 896 00:47:09,440 --> 00:47:10,360 Speaker 2: On your profile? 897 00:47:10,760 --> 00:47:12,000 Speaker 3: Like what did you put? 898 00:47:12,360 --> 00:47:12,680 Speaker 4: My God? 899 00:47:13,600 --> 00:47:16,600 Speaker 2: But I think I actually don't remember what it was. 900 00:47:16,680 --> 00:47:17,680 Speaker 3: I think animals. 901 00:47:17,800 --> 00:47:19,800 Speaker 1: I think one of the first pictures was a photo 902 00:47:19,840 --> 00:47:21,680 Speaker 1: of me at a festival, I think, and I think 903 00:47:21,719 --> 00:47:25,239 Speaker 1: that's what Dylan mentioned. I'm like looking over him, now, 904 00:47:26,080 --> 00:47:29,120 Speaker 1: give me any any details. I think it was a picture. 905 00:47:29,400 --> 00:47:30,960 Speaker 2: What was it? Come over here for a sec. 906 00:47:31,800 --> 00:47:35,160 Speaker 3: You will know, you will know, you will remember all 907 00:47:35,200 --> 00:47:37,640 Speaker 3: too vividly. Come talking to these he. 908 00:47:39,239 --> 00:47:42,200 Speaker 2: Come, because there's no way you don't remember. 909 00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:44,360 Speaker 4: No, that was definitely one of them. Clothes wearing a 910 00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:51,120 Speaker 4: she had like this rainbow, colorful, glitterly like festival fit 911 00:47:51,239 --> 00:47:55,880 Speaker 4: on right, huge smile. And then in another photos I 912 00:47:55,920 --> 00:47:58,799 Speaker 4: thought she was with a family member and that was that. 913 00:47:58,840 --> 00:48:02,040 Speaker 4: Again there was smiling, but everyone's just got the biggest smile. 914 00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:05,680 Speaker 3: And what did she said anything about herself? Or were 915 00:48:05,680 --> 00:48:09,560 Speaker 3: you just captured by the Rave Girl festival round? 916 00:48:10,200 --> 00:48:19,520 Speaker 2: Exactly what you said? But she was funny, Dylan, bye bye? 917 00:48:21,200 --> 00:48:23,680 Speaker 3: And then so you knew, which. 918 00:48:23,440 --> 00:48:24,799 Speaker 2: Is that's incredible. 919 00:48:24,880 --> 00:48:29,359 Speaker 1: You know what's even crazier is I this is so embarrassing. 920 00:48:29,440 --> 00:48:31,879 Speaker 1: This is like year seven love story. But we're married now, 921 00:48:31,880 --> 00:48:34,359 Speaker 1: so it's okay. I think we said I love you 922 00:48:34,400 --> 00:48:37,600 Speaker 1: after day three? Like it like it, like said it 923 00:48:37,640 --> 00:48:38,240 Speaker 1: for Dylan? 924 00:48:38,719 --> 00:48:39,520 Speaker 2: Did he yeah? 925 00:48:39,719 --> 00:48:41,319 Speaker 3: And we could have blurted it out. 926 00:48:41,840 --> 00:48:47,400 Speaker 2: I could have didn't, but I didn't. He sent it 927 00:48:47,600 --> 00:48:49,839 Speaker 2: over a voice note on Instagram? 928 00:48:50,640 --> 00:48:54,520 Speaker 3: And wait did he mean yeah? 929 00:48:54,560 --> 00:48:57,320 Speaker 1: Because it was a voice like you intentionally press that 930 00:48:57,440 --> 00:48:58,040 Speaker 1: button and. 931 00:48:57,920 --> 00:49:01,480 Speaker 2: Then intentionally send it. I'm not sure if that's brave 932 00:49:02,360 --> 00:49:04,480 Speaker 2: or chicken to do it that way? 933 00:49:04,560 --> 00:49:05,960 Speaker 3: Will you being brave or scared? 934 00:49:07,880 --> 00:49:09,799 Speaker 4: I don't think it came out the way that I 935 00:49:09,880 --> 00:49:12,400 Speaker 4: intended it to. It wasn't meant to be like I 936 00:49:12,440 --> 00:49:13,880 Speaker 4: love you. It's like I love. 937 00:49:13,680 --> 00:49:19,360 Speaker 3: You and a right yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, 938 00:49:19,560 --> 00:49:23,359 Speaker 3: yeah yeah no, but that's yeah. 939 00:49:23,400 --> 00:49:25,080 Speaker 1: And then the other thing is like if you think 940 00:49:25,120 --> 00:49:30,000 Speaker 1: that's crazy, what's even more like this is how I've 941 00:49:30,040 --> 00:49:31,600 Speaker 1: never been the sort of person that was going to 942 00:49:31,719 --> 00:49:32,560 Speaker 1: date just to date. 943 00:49:32,640 --> 00:49:35,720 Speaker 2: That's always been to me, silly. 944 00:49:35,800 --> 00:49:37,680 Speaker 1: I'm not going to open up my heart to someone 945 00:49:38,680 --> 00:49:40,320 Speaker 1: knowing that I'm not going to be with them forever. 946 00:49:40,400 --> 00:49:42,359 Speaker 1: That's always been a concept that just didn't make sense 947 00:49:42,400 --> 00:49:43,959 Speaker 1: to me. Like, I've always been the sort of person 948 00:49:43,960 --> 00:49:46,680 Speaker 1: that like, if i'm if i'm dating, my intention is 949 00:49:46,719 --> 00:49:48,960 Speaker 1: to be with you forever, but how do you know 950 00:49:49,360 --> 00:49:52,919 Speaker 1: to well, I'm also not like I'm also this, which 951 00:49:53,000 --> 00:49:55,040 Speaker 1: sounds ridiculous because of how we met and how we 952 00:49:55,080 --> 00:49:55,800 Speaker 1: started talking. 953 00:49:55,880 --> 00:49:58,200 Speaker 2: But I've also never been the sort of person. 954 00:49:57,880 --> 00:50:01,600 Speaker 1: That's like, oh, like I I find you attractive, let's 955 00:50:01,680 --> 00:50:03,239 Speaker 1: date and see where it goes. Like I want to 956 00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,879 Speaker 1: be your friend for like ages first, like I want 957 00:50:05,880 --> 00:50:08,000 Speaker 1: to get to know you. I'm not going to commit 958 00:50:08,080 --> 00:50:09,799 Speaker 1: to you until I'm like this is someone that I 959 00:50:09,880 --> 00:50:11,400 Speaker 1: genuinely really love spending time with. 960 00:50:11,760 --> 00:50:16,440 Speaker 2: Right, And yet Dylan and I started dating like immediately, 961 00:50:16,960 --> 00:50:18,239 Speaker 2: But I don't know. I think when you know you 962 00:50:18,320 --> 00:50:19,160 Speaker 2: know what. 963 00:50:18,960 --> 00:50:21,960 Speaker 3: Was it about Dylan that one of. 964 00:50:21,920 --> 00:50:22,760 Speaker 2: The first things. 965 00:50:22,800 --> 00:50:27,239 Speaker 1: So we started dating, oh, started talking and pretty much 966 00:50:27,239 --> 00:50:32,480 Speaker 1: became exclusive during COVID when Dill was in Melbourne, so 967 00:50:32,560 --> 00:50:34,719 Speaker 1: like the Ring of Steel was happening, so there was 968 00:50:34,920 --> 00:50:38,640 Speaker 1: literal army bases stopping people from living and I was 969 00:50:38,640 --> 00:50:41,280 Speaker 1: in the country, so there was no way of us meeting. 970 00:50:42,200 --> 00:50:48,360 Speaker 1: And so our first few dates were over zoom and 971 00:50:48,440 --> 00:50:52,239 Speaker 1: the first date that we did was a like a 972 00:50:52,400 --> 00:50:54,799 Speaker 1: game night, like we both like zoomed each other and 973 00:50:54,800 --> 00:50:56,640 Speaker 1: then like shared our screens I think, and did like 974 00:50:56,920 --> 00:50:58,560 Speaker 1: you know, like board games on. 975 00:50:58,480 --> 00:51:00,520 Speaker 2: The internet, right, And I. 976 00:51:00,520 --> 00:51:04,200 Speaker 1: Just felt so safe with him, Like I never felt pressured, 977 00:51:04,280 --> 00:51:06,600 Speaker 1: I never felt scared, Like men have always been really 978 00:51:06,600 --> 00:51:11,160 Speaker 1: scary to me. I'd never felt scared by him, and 979 00:51:11,719 --> 00:51:16,920 Speaker 1: I've always I've always felt really nervous about sharing. 980 00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:19,600 Speaker 2: The whole parts of myself. 981 00:51:19,640 --> 00:51:21,640 Speaker 1: I've always had a mask on myself when I meet 982 00:51:21,680 --> 00:51:23,239 Speaker 1: new people, I've put the mask on that I think 983 00:51:23,280 --> 00:51:25,719 Speaker 1: they want to see. And bit by bit I kind 984 00:51:25,719 --> 00:51:28,319 Speaker 1: of dropped that mask around him. And I think one 985 00:51:28,360 --> 00:51:29,200 Speaker 1: of the first like. 986 00:51:29,120 --> 00:51:31,359 Speaker 3: What was the mask that you thought he wanted to say? 987 00:51:32,800 --> 00:51:35,600 Speaker 2: I think I was just I was trying to be. 988 00:51:37,200 --> 00:51:40,000 Speaker 1: In hindsight, I shouldn't have done this, and I very 989 00:51:40,080 --> 00:51:42,560 Speaker 1: much tell women to not do this, but I was. 990 00:51:42,600 --> 00:51:44,880 Speaker 1: I was very quiet, and I was very polite, and 991 00:51:44,960 --> 00:51:47,399 Speaker 1: I was very like, I don't want I don't want 992 00:51:47,440 --> 00:51:49,759 Speaker 1: to make a scene or anything like that. 993 00:51:49,800 --> 00:51:52,919 Speaker 2: And I remember, like one of the first kind of like. 994 00:51:54,719 --> 00:51:57,520 Speaker 1: Autismy bits of myself I dropped was that I'm obsessed 995 00:51:57,560 --> 00:52:01,640 Speaker 1: with Titanic. And so the next date night that Dill 996 00:52:01,719 --> 00:52:07,640 Speaker 1: planned was a quiz that was like full Titanic theme, 997 00:52:07,760 --> 00:52:12,120 Speaker 1: and he dressed up for it. I remember going, OK, 998 00:52:12,400 --> 00:52:13,120 Speaker 1: this is a good one. 999 00:52:13,440 --> 00:52:15,160 Speaker 3: What was he He wasn't the Iceberg? 1000 00:52:15,719 --> 00:52:17,960 Speaker 2: No, he just had like that like he had he 1001 00:52:18,040 --> 00:52:21,319 Speaker 2: was wearing clothing from that time period, and that was. 1002 00:52:21,360 --> 00:52:22,440 Speaker 3: How did he do that? 1003 00:52:22,680 --> 00:52:25,799 Speaker 1: He he had this whole PowerPoint show, like this whole 1004 00:52:25,800 --> 00:52:27,680 Speaker 1: PowerPoint presentation and did like a. 1005 00:52:27,560 --> 00:52:29,160 Speaker 2: Full like quiz. 1006 00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:35,320 Speaker 1: And like He's just always shown me that the parts 1007 00:52:35,320 --> 00:52:37,759 Speaker 1: of myself that I thought that other people didn't want 1008 00:52:37,800 --> 00:52:39,839 Speaker 1: to see or that I thought other people would find 1009 00:52:39,880 --> 00:52:42,440 Speaker 1: cringey are the parts that he loves the most. And 1010 00:52:42,480 --> 00:52:47,279 Speaker 1: I think that's so important in a partner. Is everything absolutely, 1011 00:52:47,360 --> 00:52:49,040 Speaker 1: and like especially when you're autistic. 1012 00:52:50,480 --> 00:52:53,600 Speaker 3: What bits, by the way, did you think, was there 1013 00:52:53,719 --> 00:52:55,600 Speaker 3: like a moment where you went, Oh, this is it, 1014 00:52:57,000 --> 00:52:58,640 Speaker 3: I've done it, I've cooked it. 1015 00:52:59,680 --> 00:53:02,239 Speaker 1: They were there a lot of bits that I don't 1016 00:53:02,280 --> 00:53:04,120 Speaker 1: remember specifically, do you know what? And I think, I 1017 00:53:04,120 --> 00:53:07,000 Speaker 1: think this is actually quite showcasing of the sort of 1018 00:53:07,000 --> 00:53:09,279 Speaker 1: person that he is. But I actually don't remember specifically 1019 00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,759 Speaker 1: any bits that I went, oh, my. 1020 00:53:11,680 --> 00:53:12,520 Speaker 2: God, I've cooked it. 1021 00:53:12,760 --> 00:53:15,440 Speaker 1: But I remember my reaction to feeling like I've cooked sea. 1022 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:19,600 Speaker 1: And every single time I apologize for being a burden, 1023 00:53:20,239 --> 00:53:24,440 Speaker 1: he wouldout fail before I could even finish the sentence 1024 00:53:24,520 --> 00:53:26,560 Speaker 1: I'm saying, I'm so sorry, I'm such a burden. He 1025 00:53:26,560 --> 00:53:28,839 Speaker 1: would say, You're not a burden, You're a privilege. And 1026 00:53:28,880 --> 00:53:31,879 Speaker 1: he would say that every single time, to the point 1027 00:53:31,920 --> 00:53:34,520 Speaker 1: where I don't feel like a burden anymore. And I 1028 00:53:34,560 --> 00:53:38,200 Speaker 1: think that's what a good relationship is supposed to be. 1029 00:53:40,719 --> 00:53:42,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's beautiful. 1030 00:53:42,800 --> 00:53:47,360 Speaker 3: Yeah, your wedding was so exquisite and behind the scenes 1031 00:53:47,560 --> 00:53:50,319 Speaker 3: glimpse behind the scenes that Bray who's our producer of 1032 00:53:50,360 --> 00:53:53,480 Speaker 3: this pod, was at your wedding and she did a 1033 00:53:53,560 --> 00:53:54,960 Speaker 3: story for Marie Claire. 1034 00:53:56,200 --> 00:53:59,839 Speaker 2: It was so beautiful. It was the most perfect wedding of. 1035 00:54:00,200 --> 00:54:07,160 Speaker 3: Tree family, stunning dress, thank you, handsome groom. 1036 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:10,400 Speaker 2: Uh huh, the embroidery on your dress. 1037 00:54:10,600 --> 00:54:14,320 Speaker 3: Yes, I love that idea. Thank you, which were phrases 1038 00:54:14,360 --> 00:54:15,319 Speaker 3: that were significant. 1039 00:54:15,520 --> 00:54:18,520 Speaker 1: Yeah, they were all Disney quotes from our favorite Disney films, 1040 00:54:18,560 --> 00:54:20,880 Speaker 1: because that's one of the first things that we like 1041 00:54:20,920 --> 00:54:24,120 Speaker 1: connected over with Disney. But yeah, the whole wedding was 1042 00:54:24,160 --> 00:54:27,759 Speaker 1: so lovely. I hate weddings. I hate weddings. I don't 1043 00:54:27,760 --> 00:54:28,480 Speaker 1: want to be a guest. 1044 00:54:28,280 --> 00:54:28,760 Speaker 2: At your wedding. 1045 00:54:29,239 --> 00:54:34,960 Speaker 1: I like, I hate weddings. They're boring, the food is disgusting. 1046 00:54:35,520 --> 00:54:37,600 Speaker 1: I'm sat at a table with people I don't know, 1047 00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:39,560 Speaker 1: and I have to make small talk for hours, Like, 1048 00:54:39,640 --> 00:54:42,440 Speaker 1: I don't enjoy weddings. And then the other thing as 1049 00:54:42,480 --> 00:54:44,920 Speaker 1: well that made me not enjoy the idea of weddings 1050 00:54:45,000 --> 00:54:47,799 Speaker 1: is when I got engaged, every single woman in my 1051 00:54:47,880 --> 00:54:51,560 Speaker 1: life was like, it's the biggest day of your life. 1052 00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:52,960 Speaker 2: It's the biggest day of your life. 1053 00:54:53,000 --> 00:54:55,520 Speaker 1: And I what I heard when they said that was so, 1054 00:54:55,560 --> 00:54:58,000 Speaker 1: you're telling me it's all downhill from here, right? 1055 00:54:58,640 --> 00:55:00,239 Speaker 2: I hate that was terrified eyeing. 1056 00:55:02,160 --> 00:55:07,399 Speaker 1: And so for our wedding, we we had vegan food 1057 00:55:07,440 --> 00:55:11,719 Speaker 1: trucks everywhere. We didn't have a sit I'm vegan, but 1058 00:55:11,800 --> 00:55:15,279 Speaker 1: I don't cook, so Dylan's vegan by proxy, right, Okay, 1059 00:55:17,160 --> 00:55:19,200 Speaker 1: So yeah, we had like vegan food trucks and we 1060 00:55:19,239 --> 00:55:21,279 Speaker 1: didn't have a sit down table. We had like like 1061 00:55:22,680 --> 00:55:25,719 Speaker 1: bean bags and like tables and stuff people to go 1062 00:55:25,760 --> 00:55:26,759 Speaker 1: and stand if they wanted to. 1063 00:55:26,800 --> 00:55:28,439 Speaker 2: But it was like just going to do what you wanted. 1064 00:55:29,200 --> 00:55:29,520 Speaker 3: Yeah. 1065 00:55:29,560 --> 00:55:32,719 Speaker 1: Absolutely, we had game setup and we had like and 1066 00:55:32,920 --> 00:55:35,320 Speaker 1: I just wanted it to feel like a big party 1067 00:55:35,680 --> 00:55:37,279 Speaker 1: because the other thing as well that I've always found 1068 00:55:37,280 --> 00:55:39,120 Speaker 1: really strange about weddings is how. 1069 00:55:39,320 --> 00:55:41,759 Speaker 2: People are like, oh, like, this is you committing to them? 1070 00:55:42,280 --> 00:55:46,440 Speaker 1: Like I committed to Dylan the day that I met him. 1071 00:55:46,960 --> 00:55:49,000 Speaker 1: It's always been weird to me that it's like you're 1072 00:55:49,080 --> 00:55:51,880 Speaker 1: free until you say I do it. That's weird, Like 1073 00:55:51,880 --> 00:55:53,920 Speaker 1: I don't think you should get married if that's your idea. 1074 00:55:53,680 --> 00:55:56,160 Speaker 3: Of Sure, what it was that you do it in 1075 00:55:56,200 --> 00:56:00,560 Speaker 3: front of family and friends as kind of a different 1076 00:56:00,680 --> 00:56:02,920 Speaker 3: ring of steel around you. Yeah, I thought it was that. 1077 00:56:03,080 --> 00:56:05,959 Speaker 2: See. Even with that, I'm like, there already was a ring. 1078 00:56:06,000 --> 00:56:06,640 Speaker 2: Like my dad. 1079 00:56:06,640 --> 00:56:09,359 Speaker 1: The day that Dylan came to my house, which we 1080 00:56:09,360 --> 00:56:12,640 Speaker 1: weren't even like technically dating. Yeah, the first day that 1081 00:56:12,719 --> 00:56:15,000 Speaker 1: Dylan like actually came to my house, it was the 1082 00:56:15,000 --> 00:56:16,279 Speaker 1: first time we met, and he came to my house 1083 00:56:16,320 --> 00:56:18,000 Speaker 1: because he knew that would be safe for me if 1084 00:56:18,040 --> 00:56:20,040 Speaker 1: it was in an environment that I was comfortable. 1085 00:56:19,640 --> 00:56:20,879 Speaker 2: With my dad. 1086 00:56:20,880 --> 00:56:22,160 Speaker 1: The first thing you said to him is if you 1087 00:56:22,239 --> 00:56:23,839 Speaker 1: ever hurt my daughterroom going to take you knee cups 1088 00:56:23,840 --> 00:56:26,759 Speaker 1: off you. Like that ring of steel was like solidified 1089 00:56:26,800 --> 00:56:29,280 Speaker 1: before we even like technically started dating. 1090 00:56:29,360 --> 00:56:30,839 Speaker 2: Like, so even with that, I. 1091 00:56:30,800 --> 00:56:34,319 Speaker 1: Was like, I'm like, I'm already committed to this man 1092 00:56:34,360 --> 00:56:35,160 Speaker 1: in every single way. 1093 00:56:35,239 --> 00:56:36,319 Speaker 2: How did you happen by that? 1094 00:56:36,400 --> 00:56:39,160 Speaker 3: How was that? Dylan Surris? Yeah surprising. 1095 00:56:42,800 --> 00:56:44,439 Speaker 1: Yeah, Like, I'm already committed to this man in every 1096 00:56:44,440 --> 00:56:46,640 Speaker 1: way you can be. Like, So, the way that we 1097 00:56:46,719 --> 00:56:49,520 Speaker 1: all saw the wedding was just a big party with 1098 00:56:50,560 --> 00:56:52,680 Speaker 1: music that we got to choose, and food that we 1099 00:56:52,760 --> 00:56:53,880 Speaker 1: got to choose. 1100 00:56:53,560 --> 00:56:55,800 Speaker 2: And everyone and people we got to choose. 1101 00:56:55,800 --> 00:56:58,440 Speaker 1: And I think, yeah, that's that's what a wedding was 1102 00:56:58,440 --> 00:56:59,880 Speaker 1: to us, Like it was just a big party. And 1103 00:56:59,880 --> 00:57:02,439 Speaker 1: I found kittens. We found four kittens on our wedding day. 1104 00:57:02,640 --> 00:57:04,799 Speaker 2: Oh and we kept all of them. 1105 00:57:05,080 --> 00:57:08,640 Speaker 1: Really, I was actually late to the aisle because I 1106 00:57:08,719 --> 00:57:12,320 Speaker 1: was on my hands and knees with the under under 1107 00:57:12,440 --> 00:57:12,960 Speaker 1: a shed. 1108 00:57:13,680 --> 00:57:16,120 Speaker 2: I was on my hands. Did she found them? 1109 00:57:16,160 --> 00:57:19,200 Speaker 1: So I heard them my sister, So like we got 1110 00:57:19,200 --> 00:57:20,960 Speaker 1: married on a farm, and we stayed on the farm 1111 00:57:20,960 --> 00:57:23,680 Speaker 1: the night before and my sister was out doing something 1112 00:57:23,760 --> 00:57:26,160 Speaker 1: and saw these kittens. She ran just like Chloe, this kittens. 1113 00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,360 Speaker 1: And I was like, call the wedding off. We have 1114 00:57:28,400 --> 00:57:30,800 Speaker 1: to find these kittens. And so we went out and 1115 00:57:31,400 --> 00:57:33,360 Speaker 1: we got married very close to my family home, and 1116 00:57:33,400 --> 00:57:35,280 Speaker 1: so I got my mom to run home and I 1117 00:57:35,320 --> 00:57:37,959 Speaker 1: was like, get tuna, get a bag of whiskers, get water, 1118 00:57:38,040 --> 00:57:40,040 Speaker 1: get a cat carra, like I need the whole thing. 1119 00:57:40,920 --> 00:57:44,000 Speaker 1: And so we were all set up prepared to catch 1120 00:57:44,080 --> 00:57:46,440 Speaker 1: these kittens, and they just disappeared because obviously there was 1121 00:57:46,440 --> 00:57:47,960 Speaker 1: lots of noise and lots of people and they were very, 1122 00:57:48,000 --> 00:57:53,080 Speaker 1: very terrified. But I was like determined that these kittens 1123 00:57:53,120 --> 00:57:55,400 Speaker 1: were coming home with me. And so I was on 1124 00:57:55,440 --> 00:57:57,560 Speaker 1: my hand on the honeymoon. Yes, I was like, these 1125 00:57:57,560 --> 00:58:00,400 Speaker 1: are my children, Like congratulations, we've adopted four kids kids. 1126 00:58:01,080 --> 00:58:02,960 Speaker 1: And so I was on my hands and knees the 1127 00:58:02,960 --> 00:58:05,360 Speaker 1: morning of the wedding under a barn. 1128 00:58:05,400 --> 00:58:08,440 Speaker 2: To try and get these kitten a beautiful dress. No, 1129 00:58:08,520 --> 00:58:08,920 Speaker 2: I was. 1130 00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:13,800 Speaker 1: I had my hair and makeup done and everything, and yeah, 1131 00:58:13,960 --> 00:58:15,440 Speaker 1: ended up being late because I had to try and 1132 00:58:15,480 --> 00:58:16,200 Speaker 1: catch his kittens. 1133 00:58:16,200 --> 00:58:17,080 Speaker 2: We didn't catch them. 1134 00:58:17,160 --> 00:58:20,240 Speaker 1: But then the day after, I was like, I was 1135 00:58:20,280 --> 00:58:23,080 Speaker 1: distraught because I was like, I'd named them, I'd plans 1136 00:58:23,120 --> 00:58:25,520 Speaker 1: a whole life with them, and then I couldn't find them. 1137 00:58:26,280 --> 00:58:29,440 Speaker 1: And then as we were leaving, all four of them, 1138 00:58:29,440 --> 00:58:31,560 Speaker 1: they were four weeks old, all four of them were 1139 00:58:31,600 --> 00:58:33,520 Speaker 1: sitting around this little can of tuna, and I was. 1140 00:58:33,480 --> 00:58:36,760 Speaker 2: Like, quick, get the kangaries, get everything, and we kept 1141 00:58:36,760 --> 00:58:38,520 Speaker 2: all four of them. I've got two of my sisters 1142 00:58:38,560 --> 00:58:40,960 Speaker 2: got to wow. Yeah. 1143 00:58:41,000 --> 00:58:44,240 Speaker 5: And so I feel like that's just I feel like, yeah, 1144 00:58:44,320 --> 00:58:47,480 Speaker 5: I feel like they're like Freyer goddess, Goddess Freya blessed 1145 00:58:47,480 --> 00:58:54,080 Speaker 5: our marriage because in ancient mythology, Freyer was a goddess 1146 00:58:54,120 --> 00:58:58,840 Speaker 5: who traditionally wipes would be gifted a great kitten on 1147 00:58:58,880 --> 00:58:59,560 Speaker 5: their wedding day. 1148 00:59:00,760 --> 00:59:02,720 Speaker 3: Was she like Norwegian? 1149 00:59:02,960 --> 00:59:08,400 Speaker 2: She's yeah, no, thank you not Norwegian. 1150 00:59:09,000 --> 00:59:12,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, and she and yeah, so we have we have 1151 00:59:12,160 --> 00:59:14,640 Speaker 1: two female great kittens, and one of them is called Freya. 1152 00:59:15,760 --> 00:59:18,080 Speaker 1: And then our two boys. But yeah, I feel like 1153 00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,040 Speaker 1: Freya blessed our marriage that day. I feel like it 1154 00:59:20,280 --> 00:59:20,920 Speaker 1: started well. 1155 00:59:21,360 --> 00:59:24,400 Speaker 3: Chloe Hayden, I believe that you are blessed in many ways, 1156 00:59:25,640 --> 00:59:29,560 Speaker 3: and some of them have been bestowed upon you, and 1157 00:59:29,600 --> 00:59:34,000 Speaker 3: some of them you have gifted unto yourself, which is 1158 00:59:34,480 --> 00:59:39,960 Speaker 3: just perfect. Really, I cannot thank you enough for sharing 1159 00:59:40,000 --> 00:59:44,960 Speaker 3: yourself with us on No Filter and for your inner 1160 00:59:45,040 --> 00:59:48,360 Speaker 3: an external beauty. Thank you, it's just lovely. 1161 00:59:48,520 --> 00:59:52,040 Speaker 2: Thank you, and thank you Dylan for your cameo like 1162 00:59:52,160 --> 00:59:58,160 Speaker 2: my cameo. Yes, exactly, that was Chloe Hayden. 1163 00:59:59,120 --> 01:00:03,360 Speaker 3: Through her work, her advocacy, and her honesty, she's helped 1164 01:00:03,440 --> 01:00:07,280 Speaker 3: change the conversation around autism for so many people. But 1165 01:00:07,560 --> 01:00:11,280 Speaker 3: as we heard today, being the person everyone looks to 1166 01:00:11,800 --> 01:00:15,120 Speaker 3: can come with its own pressure. Her story is a 1167 01:00:15,160 --> 01:00:19,640 Speaker 3: reminder that representation matters, but so does allowing people the 1168 01:00:19,680 --> 01:00:25,040 Speaker 3: space to simply be themselves, and she is herself. If 1169 01:00:25,080 --> 01:00:26,960 Speaker 3: you want to see Chloe in the role that introduced 1170 01:00:27,000 --> 01:00:29,880 Speaker 3: her to audiences around the world, you can catch her 1171 01:00:29,920 --> 01:00:33,480 Speaker 3: as Quinnie in the third and final season of Heartbreak, 1172 01:00:33,560 --> 01:00:37,840 Speaker 3: high streaming on Netflix from March twenty five. Thanks for 1173 01:00:37,920 --> 01:00:41,120 Speaker 3: listening to No Filter. The executive producer of No Filter 1174 01:00:41,200 --> 01:00:45,320 Speaker 3: is Breed Player. The assistant producer is Coco Levine. Audio 1175 01:00:45,320 --> 01:00:48,920 Speaker 3: production by Jacob Brown and video editing by Josh Green. 1176 01:00:49,480 --> 01:00:52,840 Speaker 3: This episode was recorded at Session in Progress. I am 1177 01:00:52,920 --> 01:00:58,600 Speaker 3: Kate Lanebrook. I will see you next Monday.