WEBVTT - The Birthday Post That Sparked A Sharenting Debate 0:00:05.040 --> 0:00:08.559 Welcome to Parenting out Loud, the podcast where, well, we 0:00:08.600 --> 0:00:10.879 don't talk about your everyday parenting stuff, we kind of 0:00:10.920 --> 0:00:13.600 talk about parenting news and culture and trends and take 0:00:13.640 --> 0:00:15.920 a good hard look at it. I'm Monique Bowley. 0:00:15.920 --> 0:00:18.280 I'm Amelia Last, and I'm Stacy Hicks. 0:00:18.440 --> 0:00:19.840 Coming up on today's show. 0:00:19.600 --> 0:00:22.639 An influencer wore a white dress to a boxing match 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.520 ten days postpartum and everyone lost their mind. But not 0:00:25.600 --> 0:00:27.640 for the reason. You might think you love that story, 0:00:27.680 --> 0:00:28.000 don't you. 0:00:28.120 --> 0:00:28.400 I do? 0:00:28.600 --> 0:00:30.080 I do. It's my Roman Empire. 0:00:30.440 --> 0:00:34.800 Megan and Harry's daughter had a birthday recently and they 0:00:34.880 --> 0:00:38.280 marked it in the most millennial way possible a photo 0:00:38.320 --> 0:00:40.600 of the back of her head. Can we once and 0:00:40.680 --> 0:00:43.080 for all talk about this very weird generational habit. 0:00:43.440 --> 0:00:47.680 Yeah, and our school's absorbing hr workplace culture, because it 0:00:47.800 --> 0:00:52.360 feels like nowadays every playground incident requires an email trail 0:00:52.560 --> 0:00:55.160 and a call to management. 0:00:55.800 --> 0:01:00.600 At first, Japan's national soccer team was raised right. The 0:01:00.680 --> 0:01:03.920 Samurai Blue were in Texas for their first World Cup 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:07.000 game and they drew with the Netherlands. It was two two, 0:01:07.640 --> 0:01:11.360 but they won everyone's hearts with what they did after 0:01:11.400 --> 0:01:15.080 the game, which was leave their locker room spotless. I 0:01:15.080 --> 0:01:17.000 don't know if you saw these photos. They were everywhere 0:01:17.120 --> 0:01:20.920 all over the internet, verified by the BBC. They had 0:01:20.959 --> 0:01:24.399 stacked the chairs neatly, they had collected the rubbish, they 0:01:24.440 --> 0:01:28.039 had folded their bibs and their towels neatly in the 0:01:28.040 --> 0:01:28.840 center of the room. 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:29.319 Yeah. 0:01:29.360 --> 0:01:31.800 Now, if their parents aren't proud enough already, and the 0:01:31.800 --> 0:01:33.319 fact that they are playing in the World Cup, can 0:01:33.360 --> 0:01:36.400 you imagine the pride you would feel as a parent 0:01:36.440 --> 0:01:37.560 looking at those photos? 0:01:37.640 --> 0:01:38.600 National pride. 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:42.480 Japanese sports fans. Look, they're non for tidying up stadiums 0:01:42.560 --> 0:01:46.000 after sporting games. This is Yeah, there's actually a Japanese 0:01:46.040 --> 0:01:48.480 principle which is return it the way you found it, 0:01:48.520 --> 0:01:50.640 except I'm sure there's a much more beautiful word for 0:01:50.680 --> 0:01:53.720 that in Japanese, and that concept is taught in primary school. 0:01:53.760 --> 0:01:55.920 I learned this when I lived in Japan, that there 0:01:55.920 --> 0:01:59.760 are no cleaners in primary schools in Japan because at 0:01:59.760 --> 0:02:02.520 the end of every day, the children clean the classroom 0:02:02.560 --> 0:02:04.480 and the school facilities themselves. 0:02:04.840 --> 0:02:06.160 I love that. As a principal. 0:02:06.360 --> 0:02:09.680 Yeah, it's great because then you're not raising little slobs 0:02:09.680 --> 0:02:11.200 who are just leaving everything behind. 0:02:11.320 --> 0:02:14.440 Mom's you have been an elite athlete. Just how unusual 0:02:14.520 --> 0:02:16.480 is this behavior from the Japanese soccer team. 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:21.320 Very unfortunately. Locker rooms are a pit. I would describe 0:02:21.320 --> 0:02:25.280 them as just angle tape and dirty towels, and they 0:02:25.320 --> 0:02:27.200 are not left in the best conditions, so. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:30.560 That makes it all the more extraordinary. Yeah, Gambaro, which 0:02:30.600 --> 0:02:32.640 means you go Japan. 0:02:32.400 --> 0:02:35.240 Nice, awesome. Now I want to talk about someone who's 0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.560 got nine million followers on Instagram, and I know that 0:02:37.639 --> 0:02:39.440 neither of you are going to have heard of her. 0:02:40.000 --> 0:02:42.800 Her name is Molly may Haig. So she was on 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.400 Love Island UK. She met her partner on that who 0:02:45.440 --> 0:02:48.680 she's now engaged to and has two children. She made 0:02:48.800 --> 0:02:52.040 bank off this show, Like I'm talking two million YouTube 0:02:52.080 --> 0:02:54.960 subscribers Love Island off Love Island, she was one of them, 0:02:55.080 --> 0:03:00.600 very likable, very likable, very beautiful, classically beautiful. She became 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:03.639 the youngest creative director of Pretty Little Thing at twenty two. 0:03:03.919 --> 0:03:06.400 Like Pretty Little Thing like a big fast fashion brand 0:03:06.639 --> 0:03:09.480 in the UK, so huge, huge deals that she got 0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:13.400 out of this. And Tommy is a boxer, so she 0:03:13.840 --> 0:03:17.240 went to his match ten days postpartum after the birth 0:03:17.240 --> 0:03:20.560 of their second son, Midas which is just a cool name. 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:22.840 Their daughter's name is Bambi. Yes, all of this is 0:03:22.840 --> 0:03:25.399 coming from my head. Sadly, I know a lot about 0:03:25.440 --> 0:03:28.400 these people. And people lost their minds because she walked 0:03:28.400 --> 0:03:31.520 into that arena in a skin tight white dress. 0:03:31.680 --> 0:03:33.079 No, looked with high. 0:03:33.120 --> 0:03:36.880 Beautiful, with high heels. Beautiful. But that wasn't the most 0:03:36.880 --> 0:03:40.320 common commentary. Most of what the comments were saying was, Oh, 0:03:40.360 --> 0:03:42.400 she doesn't look very happy to be there. Oh, she 0:03:42.440 --> 0:03:46.880 could smile more. I'm like, would you That woman is 0:03:46.960 --> 0:03:50.440 bleeding and leaking, leaking like she would not be in 0:03:50.480 --> 0:03:53.000 a good way, and yet she showed up for her partner. 0:03:53.160 --> 0:03:54.840 We're still in the messhonderpants. 0:03:54.880 --> 0:03:56.560 Yeah, he hasn't slept. 0:03:56.320 --> 0:03:59.120 No exactly, and she admitted that after And I don't 0:03:59.280 --> 0:04:02.320 don't like the had to give the quantifier afterwards, but 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:04.600 she must have felt the need after she saw all 0:04:04.640 --> 0:04:07.440 of the commentary around her, and she put out something saying, 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.560 I pulled it together for a couple of hours, but 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.600 this is what I actually looked like ninety percent of 0:04:11.680 --> 0:04:14.120 the time, like a human cow. She posted a photo 0:04:14.120 --> 0:04:16.120 of her meeting and she said, I'd like to give 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:18.560 a shout out to Spanks and a giant pad that 0:04:18.640 --> 0:04:21.440 got me through that night, and a link to the dress, 0:04:21.480 --> 0:04:23.719 which was from her own label, So very smart. 0:04:23.880 --> 0:04:27.440 I just feel like I see through it, Molly may Hay. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:30.599 We're in an attention economy, and this is what you 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:33.720 I know, this is what you're doing to get clicks 0:04:33.720 --> 0:04:36.320 and to get engagement, and then you yeah, it's just yeah, 0:04:36.360 --> 0:04:37.960 I kind of feel bad that she's trapped in this 0:04:38.000 --> 0:04:40.560 attention economy and has to do this, yeah clicks in 0:04:40.560 --> 0:04:40.920 the life. 0:04:41.040 --> 0:04:43.800 I meanry it worked. I am sure that dress would 0:04:43.800 --> 0:04:45.560 have sold off the shelves. 0:04:45.760 --> 0:04:48.119 That was her reason for going, supporting her husband. 0:04:48.200 --> 0:04:50.839 Supporting her husband, so he was boxing in the match, 0:04:50.920 --> 0:04:52.479 so she was there to watch him, and she said 0:04:52.480 --> 0:04:54.520 she only went for a few hours and then went home. Now, 0:04:54.560 --> 0:04:56.120 the fact that she even has to say that, we 0:04:56.160 --> 0:04:57.960 would never do it if it was the other way around, 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:00.240 we all know that. But yeah, I just thought it 0:05:00.360 --> 0:05:03.080 was I thought it was clever though, because she got 0:05:03.120 --> 0:05:07.359 adoration for looking so gorgeous ten days postpartum, But she 0:05:07.520 --> 0:05:10.919 also was very relatable afterwards by being like, look, this 0:05:11.040 --> 0:05:12.960 is what it normally looks like. That wasn't what I 0:05:13.000 --> 0:05:15.320 normally look like. She managed to do that balance. I 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.560 thought it was a very smart, very smart move. 0:05:18.080 --> 0:05:21.679 Megan and Harry's daughter Lily Bett, had a birthday last week. 0:05:21.880 --> 0:05:25.240 She turned five, and her parents did what they do 0:05:25.640 --> 0:05:28.880 every time she or her brother Archie have a birthday 0:05:29.000 --> 0:05:32.279 or it's Easter or some kind of special holiday event. 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:33.599 They post a. 0:05:33.440 --> 0:05:35.400 Photo or they have a jam to sell. 0:05:36.600 --> 0:05:39.800 Where the kid's face is artfully obscured. Yeah, sometimes you 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:42.560 see a little bit of a nose, sometimes you see 0:05:42.560 --> 0:05:45.320 a lot of hair, or it's a movement shot. We're 0:05:45.320 --> 0:05:47.760 all familiar with that. Because guess what, it's not just 0:05:47.839 --> 0:05:50.960 Megan and Harry doing that. Everyone is doing that now, 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:53.760 putting these photos of their children up on the Internet 0:05:53.800 --> 0:05:57.800 where you cannot see the faces. And I get why 0:05:57.920 --> 0:06:01.520 people do it because or I get why they're obscuring 0:06:01.560 --> 0:06:06.000 the faces because the risks now are known about surveillance 0:06:06.080 --> 0:06:08.839 and AI and scammers, and you don't want to put 0:06:08.880 --> 0:06:11.680 your child's face out there to be preyed on in 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:16.719 that way. But it does beg the question of why 0:06:16.800 --> 0:06:21.200 not just not why not not post your child? Yeah, 0:06:21.279 --> 0:06:23.880 why are you trying to come up with this unique 0:06:23.920 --> 0:06:28.200 composition where I can just see a part a tantalizing 0:06:28.240 --> 0:06:32.120 glimpse of their face. Stacy, you're looking guilty because you 0:06:32.240 --> 0:06:33.159 do this and. 0:06:33.200 --> 0:06:33.760 I do this. 0:06:33.920 --> 0:06:38.080 My uncharitable interpretation is that people feel the need to 0:06:38.120 --> 0:06:41.760 perform their parenting. Yeah, and that's why they keep doing it. 0:06:42.360 --> 0:06:44.880 Before we go down that path, can we just just 0:06:44.920 --> 0:06:47.279 for funsies, can we compare it to what the Prince 0:06:47.320 --> 0:06:49.919 and Princess of Wales did. So each of their kids 0:06:49.920 --> 0:06:53.640 at five had an official portrait that was then released 0:06:54.160 --> 0:06:59.559 via Kensington Palace, and it feels very public duty. Here 0:06:59.720 --> 0:07:04.560 is our child front and center, here's their face. I 0:07:04.560 --> 0:07:08.240 guess it's kind of this public duty, it's institutional, kind 0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:11.440 of I no need for them to do it. So 0:07:11.920 --> 0:07:15.440 in contrast, the Megan and Harry stuff feels kind of pointed. 0:07:15.920 --> 0:07:18.160 Oh for sure, I mean, and they get a lot 0:07:18.200 --> 0:07:20.960 of criticism for it, which, let's face it, they get 0:07:20.960 --> 0:07:23.680 a lot of criticism for everything they do, and I'm 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.480 not inclined to take all of it seriously, but one 0:07:26.520 --> 0:07:29.960 criticism is, if you really did want your children to 0:07:30.000 --> 0:07:34.960 remain out of the public eye, stop kind of providing 0:07:35.000 --> 0:07:38.240 these little clues or tidbits for people, because it just 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:40.680 heightens the public's curiosity. 0:07:40.680 --> 0:07:43.920 It actually does, because the scarcity mentality fires up there 0:07:43.920 --> 0:07:45.720 and we go, I want to see the face if 0:07:45.840 --> 0:07:47.480 I would pay any amount of money to. 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:50.440 Because it's almost like an unsolved mystery at this point. 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:54.280 Yeah, and even now you do see ai versions of 0:07:54.280 --> 0:07:57.320 what their children look like up. Yes, so people will 0:07:57.400 --> 0:08:01.240 use those little glimpses and make portraits that gets circulated 0:08:01.280 --> 0:08:05.080 on Facebook or wherever. It's weird because there is even 0:08:05.160 --> 0:08:08.920 with that, even with that measure of safety, they're still 0:08:09.000 --> 0:08:11.280 using that then, So you're right, it totally is making 0:08:11.320 --> 0:08:11.800 it worse. 0:08:11.840 --> 0:08:14.880 And I feel that way about all the celebrities who 0:08:14.920 --> 0:08:17.760 do this. Yeah, there's plenty of homegrown celebrities here in 0:08:17.760 --> 0:08:20.320 Australia who do exactly this too. It's not just people 0:08:20.400 --> 0:08:23.680 who are like seventh in line for the throne who 0:08:23.680 --> 0:08:26.880 are doing this. And it does make me more curious 0:08:26.880 --> 0:08:29.640 about something that I had never thought about before seeing 0:08:29.680 --> 0:08:30.160 that photo. 0:08:30.400 --> 0:08:33.480 Yeah, and when you brought this up and I said 0:08:33.480 --> 0:08:35.360 to you, I was like, I do I do this? 0:08:35.679 --> 0:08:37.679 And I don't know why I do this? And I 0:08:37.720 --> 0:08:40.840 had to really think about it because I'm not famous obviously, 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:44.040 I do have a public profile for work, so my 0:08:44.160 --> 0:08:48.320 Instagram is open for anyone to follow me. And I 0:08:48.400 --> 0:08:51.520 think it's that your natural instinct is to want to 0:08:51.559 --> 0:08:53.880 show every part of your life with your kid, because 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:56.040 of course you think they're the cutest thing ever. But 0:08:56.120 --> 0:08:59.199 it feels like at this very moment, we're in that 0:08:59.280 --> 0:09:03.240 messy middle of well, I'm seeing people withdrawing their kids 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:05.600 and I'm seeing less and less of that, and I'm 0:09:05.640 --> 0:09:09.080 seeing celebrities hiding faces. So should I be doing that? 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:11.679 Is this something where we don't know what the consequence 0:09:11.720 --> 0:09:14.160 will be in ten twenty years time and what our 0:09:14.240 --> 0:09:17.800 children will say about what we did. So that's where 0:09:17.840 --> 0:09:20.000 I'm kind of sitting, is in this weird middle grammarre. 0:09:20.000 --> 0:09:22.600 I'm like, oh, well, that person's doing it, so do 0:09:22.679 --> 0:09:25.240 I need to do it? When you interrogate it like 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:28.520 showing it's weird, half their face is weird. It is weird, 0:09:28.559 --> 0:09:30.960 but I think it's wanting to show I am with them, 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:34.120 I am mothering, Like here's this fun thing that we did, 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:35.880 but I just can't show you the full picture. 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:38.640 I don't think it's weird at all. But I think 0:09:38.840 --> 0:09:41.160 I'm going to challenge something that you said, Amelia before. 0:09:41.160 --> 0:09:43.520 We said everyone is doing this, and I don't think 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:47.640 it's really hit. I think it's still early adopters that 0:09:47.679 --> 0:09:50.200 are doing it, and I think it is what you 0:09:50.240 --> 0:09:55.000 were saying, it's kind of a coded parenting flex. It says, yes, 0:09:55.440 --> 0:10:01.000 I am educated, I'm woke, I understand implications of my 0:10:01.080 --> 0:10:04.320 child's privacy. Yes, I don't dress my child in poor 0:10:04.360 --> 0:10:07.000 patrol t shirts. Everything's artfully and tastefully. 0:10:07.120 --> 0:10:10.040 Don't know what would be even more of a parenting flex, 0:10:10.400 --> 0:10:13.479 not feeling the need to show me that you, a celebrity, 0:10:13.559 --> 0:10:15.720 are spending time with your children. 0:10:15.800 --> 0:10:17.960 But they still need to show the work right, Like 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:22.319 for Megan and Harry, their brand is Harry does a 0:10:22.360 --> 0:10:25.680 lot of work advocating for men's and dad's mental health. 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:29.400 Meghan has this brand American Riviera Orchard, which doesn't seem 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:31.640 to have produced anything, but it seems quite wholesome. 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:33.280 Transition to as ever. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:39.319 Oh yes, I'm way behind on laws rebrand, but they 0:10:39.360 --> 0:10:44.160 still need to be to brand themselves as wholesome, and 0:10:45.240 --> 0:10:47.960 I think children are part of that brand. But it 0:10:48.040 --> 0:10:51.800 is so they want the cachet that a child has 0:10:51.840 --> 0:10:53.079 and being cash. 0:10:53.320 --> 0:10:55.240 What you're saying is they also want the cash in 0:10:55.240 --> 0:10:58.120 addition to the cachet. The child is a marketing technique. 0:10:58.360 --> 0:11:02.800 Yeah, completely completely, but they want to show the parenting 0:11:03.080 --> 0:11:03.920 but not the face. 0:11:04.920 --> 0:11:07.400 But then, okay, I get that. With the celebrities, it 0:11:07.400 --> 0:11:09.840 makes me a little bit cynical because it's like, could 0:11:09.840 --> 0:11:13.319 you not build a brand that doesn't depend on your children, 0:11:13.400 --> 0:11:15.480 who may or may not in years to come want 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:19.760 to be part of as Ever's jam empire. Setting that aside, 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:24.880 I'm more interested in why civilians, non celebrities are starting 0:11:24.880 --> 0:11:26.960 to do this, And I guess part of it is, 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:30.160 as you say, Stacy, they're seeing celebrities do it, so 0:11:30.160 --> 0:11:32.720 they're kind of assuming that they should do the same thing. Yeah, 0:11:32.920 --> 0:11:34.880 but if you're a civilian, you don't need to make 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:38.240 money of your children, so why bother posting. 0:11:38.480 --> 0:11:41.880 I still think that social media is your highlight reel. 0:11:42.040 --> 0:11:44.880 It is your this is a representation of my life. 0:11:44.920 --> 0:11:46.960 This is a scrap book of my life. Really, in 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:49.200 terms of I would scroll back on this one day 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.400 and look at what's there. And if there's the absence 0:11:51.400 --> 0:11:53.080 of your children when there's such a big part of 0:11:53.080 --> 0:11:56.760 your life, that also feels weird to like purposely delete 0:11:56.800 --> 0:12:01.160 them entirely from that presence. Also a bit strange. 0:12:01.440 --> 0:12:04.840 I think it's privacy, the panic around you see, and 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:07.560 I think it's the backlash to sharenting. So we've seen 0:12:07.600 --> 0:12:09.880 in the last five years or so, all these children 0:12:09.880 --> 0:12:12.240 that were children of influencers have now come out. They're 0:12:12.280 --> 0:12:15.160 suing their parents. They're saying, I had no rights here, 0:12:15.360 --> 0:12:18.160 You've ruined my life. How dare you? And I think 0:12:18.240 --> 0:12:21.880 that we know more now about everything you put on 0:12:21.920 --> 0:12:25.640 the Internet lives there forever. It can be scraped and 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:30.160 saved and shared and turned into a weird AI things. 0:12:30.240 --> 0:12:33.959 And I just think parents have started thinking, is it 0:12:34.040 --> 0:12:37.560 really responsible of me to upload my kid's face to 0:12:37.640 --> 0:12:38.640 the internet forever? 0:12:39.160 --> 0:12:41.800 Okay, I get that, And you know, I'm sorry to 0:12:41.840 --> 0:12:43.480 keep like pushing you on at stage. 0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:45.040 Oh, I love it. 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:47.880 I genuinely want to understand why you're doing it me too, 0:12:48.080 --> 0:12:52.559 because why wouldn't you. Stacy just shared those parenting moments 0:12:52.600 --> 0:12:56.160 in say the close Friends facility within Instagram. 0:12:56.280 --> 0:12:58.800 Yeah, and that is what I do with the stace. Yeah, 0:12:58.840 --> 0:13:00.400 that is what I do a lot of the time. 0:13:00.880 --> 0:13:02.839 But I think, as you said once, it is that 0:13:02.880 --> 0:13:04.840 fear based thing of Oh but even if it's like 0:13:05.320 --> 0:13:09.440 in the ether, does that matter? Is that also going 0:13:09.440 --> 0:13:12.559 to get scrape. So I'm also thinking, like, I've just 0:13:12.600 --> 0:13:14.120 got to make sure that this is something that in 0:13:14.200 --> 0:13:17.480 twenty years time is a good reflection of her and 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:19.920 not something that she would be embarrassed so that i'd share. 0:13:20.080 --> 0:13:22.720 Are you even sharing those face obscool pictures with like 0:13:22.840 --> 0:13:23.640 your close friends? 0:13:23.679 --> 0:13:25.720 No, no, I show them, but I would never show 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:29.240 something where she was upset or not, you know, in 0:13:29.280 --> 0:13:32.200 a good position. But you're saying it might not have 0:13:32.240 --> 0:13:34.680 gone as mainstream. I had a look because I was 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:38.559 interested in what like photographers family photographers are seeing because 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:42.240 they're obviously capturing families and it's kind of like if 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:43.880 a tree fell in the woods and no one heard it. 0:13:43.920 --> 0:13:46.760 You know, you're getting these photos done, probably you're intending 0:13:46.800 --> 0:13:48.960 to share them. And a lot of them now are 0:13:49.000 --> 0:13:52.800 saying that they've changed their style so that they're taking 0:13:52.840 --> 0:13:56.040 more candid photos where children's faces aren't shown, because those 0:13:56.040 --> 0:13:58.240 are the photos that the families will share on their 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.760 social media for their. 0:14:00.559 --> 0:14:03.920 Social media package, where the children's face do it. 0:14:03.920 --> 0:14:05.920 It is a thing, And there's also it's changing the 0:14:05.960 --> 0:14:08.480 way they market their business because they can't use the 0:14:08.480 --> 0:14:11.640 photos of your children on their social media, so they're 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:14.400 having to take ones that artfully show your children without 0:14:14.440 --> 0:14:17.920 showing your children, So you'll give permission for them to 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.000 be shared for them to show what they can do. 0:14:20.080 --> 0:14:22.880 I actually wonder what that means for the generation that 0:14:22.960 --> 0:14:25.600 is growing up now, how that changes their attitude to 0:14:25.680 --> 0:14:29.160 their own face, capturing their face, because they will have 0:14:29.200 --> 0:14:31.800 grown up having these photos taken of them with their 0:14:31.800 --> 0:14:34.240 hair in front of their eyes or from their back. Yeah, 0:14:34.280 --> 0:14:37.360 and maybe they'll internalize that and that's how they'll start 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:39.000 just taking their own candidates. 0:14:39.040 --> 0:14:41.880 Maybe so interesting, But don't pick on Stacy. I don't 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:43.640 show my kids either, And in fact, I was the 0:14:43.680 --> 0:14:46.240 only one at the school that ticked, no, do not 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.240 take photos of my child and put them on Facebook. 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:51.080 Pure No, I'm not picking on her, No, I just 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.480 wanted to step back and like remind us all that 0:14:53.560 --> 0:14:55.640 this is like a new you know. I think one 0:14:55.680 --> 0:14:57.160 thing that we try and do on this show is 0:14:57.240 --> 0:14:59.480 kind of like step back and say, this is a trend, 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:02.280 is it's happening and why? And I want to remind 0:15:02.320 --> 0:15:04.880 everyone that five years ago we weren't doing this. Nice 0:15:05.000 --> 0:15:07.360 is a new thing and it's on every form now. 0:15:07.520 --> 0:15:09.480 Don't you feel like if you sign up for swimming lessons, 0:15:09.480 --> 0:15:11.720 if you sign up for soccer, it's an optional thing. 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:13.280 Do you give permission or do you not? And I 0:15:13.280 --> 0:15:15.440 don't think that would have been there five ten years ago. 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:18.120 So it is very much a new thing that's coming around, 0:15:18.440 --> 0:15:22.800 and we're probably going to continue interrogating it every day, month, 0:15:23.000 --> 0:15:24.520 year as we go on and as they grow. 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.200 I've been on the celebrity beat, guys, you'll be pleased 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.520 to know. And I saw something this week from Alec Baldwin. 0:15:30.640 --> 0:15:33.920 Now he has eight children. I had so many I 0:15:33.920 --> 0:15:36.600 did not realize. And yes, seven of them are in 0:15:36.640 --> 0:15:39.480 the primary school years. He had his last child at 0:15:39.480 --> 0:15:40.440 sixty four years old. 0:15:40.720 --> 0:15:45.160 Yeah, they are little. And I have watched which won't 0:15:45.200 --> 0:15:47.480 surprise you, in particular and merely. I have watched the 0:15:47.560 --> 0:15:52.080 doco I have watched about their life. They did a 0:15:52.120 --> 0:15:54.320 reality show about them and all their children. 0:15:54.320 --> 0:15:56.920 It's because I'm low key obsessed with Hilario of Baldwin, 0:15:57.280 --> 0:16:00.840 who people may remember got in trouble because she kind 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:02.920 of walks around with a fake Spanish accent. 0:16:03.000 --> 0:16:05.080 Yes, I don't think you can call her Hilario. You 0:16:05.080 --> 0:16:08.360 have to call her Laria. Hilaria Ilaria Well. 0:16:08.400 --> 0:16:11.920 In every scene of that show, Alec Baldwin looks exhausted. 0:16:12.160 --> 0:16:15.520 I have never seen a more tired man in my life. 0:16:15.880 --> 0:16:17.520 You are not meant to have kids at sixty four. 0:16:17.600 --> 0:16:19.160 Probably it's that many at least. 0:16:19.360 --> 0:16:22.400 Well, Alec Baldwin does what Alec Baldwin wants and he's 0:16:22.480 --> 0:16:24.640 on the Red Carpet this week talking to E News 0:16:24.800 --> 0:16:27.640 and I asked him, what is the one message that 0:16:27.680 --> 0:16:29.920 you want to give your children? What do you want 0:16:29.960 --> 0:16:32.880 to impart to them? And he said this, I want 0:16:32.880 --> 0:16:36.360 my kids to grow up having hope because it was 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:39.960 right now it's it's more hopeless than I've ever seen, 0:16:40.280 --> 0:16:43.560 and like, I love that hope is lovely and I 0:16:43.600 --> 0:16:47.200 don't disagree with them, but it's just like how it 0:16:47.320 --> 0:16:50.040 feels very live, laugh love on a cushion, doesn't it? 0:16:50.200 --> 0:16:51.200 Like how are you doing this? 0:16:52.240 --> 0:16:55.120 I'm surprised that I'm listening to Alec Balden and being 0:16:55.160 --> 0:16:57.920 like the guy makes a good point because I don't 0:16:57.960 --> 0:17:00.640 think of Alec Baldwin as my parent, and girl obviously 0:17:00.640 --> 0:17:03.720 Stacy's parents in Guru is Hailey b Bu. Yeah, we 0:17:03.800 --> 0:17:06.199 knew that. I thought mine would be more like a 0:17:06.240 --> 0:17:08.960 Mandy Moore, But I guess it's maybe Alec Baldwin because 0:17:08.960 --> 0:17:11.240 I agree with him. Hope is such an important thing 0:17:11.240 --> 0:17:13.920 to pass along. Do you have ways to impart hope 0:17:14.320 --> 0:17:15.440 having tips for us? 0:17:15.480 --> 0:17:17.920 Well only maybe Danny Go could do a hope song 0:17:18.119 --> 0:17:22.440 where it's like you're running, You're running, keep on having hope. 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.880 Oh my god, it's an el Nino. Oh my god, 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.000 it's a climate crasis. Oh my god, it's cuts of 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.520 letting duck. That's what we need. Danny Go is the 0:17:30.600 --> 0:17:33.199 only one that can save us this point. But I 0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:36.040 did look into it, and there is a program that 0:17:36.800 --> 0:17:40.760 a children's advocacy place called. It used to be called 0:17:40.800 --> 0:17:43.359 Save the Children. It's now called fifty four Reasons. It's 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:47.040 an organization. They run a program called Journey of Hope. 0:17:47.240 --> 0:17:49.720 It's a well being course. They run an in Victorian 0:17:49.760 --> 0:17:52.800 and Queensland schools. It's currently not being run. 0:17:52.920 --> 0:17:55.560 Oh dear, there is a lack of hope in the program. 0:17:57.600 --> 0:18:00.920 Yeah, all right. The thing I want to chat about 0:18:00.960 --> 0:18:03.960 today is hr culture in the schoolyard, because there was 0:18:03.960 --> 0:18:05.720 an article doing the rounds this week that I want 0:18:05.760 --> 0:18:08.840 to unpack. It's from the Age and the City Morning Herald. 0:18:08.880 --> 0:18:12.800 By Kimberly Gillen, and it was called what Teachers Wish 0:18:12.880 --> 0:18:16.760 the parents of Problem Children Knew. Now, first of all, 0:18:16.800 --> 0:18:19.320 problem children is in quotation marks for anyone that's listening 0:18:19.359 --> 0:18:22.399 to this. We don't love that phrase, because often problem 0:18:22.520 --> 0:18:26.720 children are children who are struggling, or who are neurodivergent 0:18:26.840 --> 0:18:29.560 or I disregulated, or are being bullied, or their brains 0:18:29.560 --> 0:18:32.880 aren't fully developed. But I digress, because the article actually 0:18:32.920 --> 0:18:36.560 isn't really about problem children. What it's about is how 0:18:37.840 --> 0:18:42.560 parents and teachers have stopped trusting each other. And it 0:18:42.600 --> 0:18:46.120 opens with this school principle Ryan Martin saying that when 0:18:46.160 --> 0:18:48.600 his own son got a detention and his son came 0:18:48.640 --> 0:18:50.560 home and said, Dad, I got this detention for this thing. 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:55.160 His first response was, well, that is ridiculous. I am 0:18:55.200 --> 0:18:57.760 calling the school and he had to kind of take 0:18:57.800 --> 0:19:02.480 a beat, which actually I found that comforting to know 0:19:02.560 --> 0:19:05.800 that even a school principle, like someone that would react 0:19:05.880 --> 0:19:08.200 like that in defense of their own child. But then 0:19:08.240 --> 0:19:11.080 he takes a beat and remembered the thing that teachers 0:19:11.119 --> 0:19:14.280 often know is that a child's version of events is 0:19:14.359 --> 0:19:18.120 not always the full story. And so this principle's point 0:19:18.119 --> 0:19:21.160 in the article was if you go in as a parent, 0:19:21.160 --> 0:19:24.560 if you're gone with curiosity instead of combat, then you 0:19:24.720 --> 0:19:27.480 almost always get a better outcome. But here's the bigger 0:19:27.520 --> 0:19:29.720 thing I want to talk about today. We keep hearing 0:19:29.720 --> 0:19:32.600