WEBVTT - Weird Things I Do For My Mental Health (That You Won't Hear In Therapy) 0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:02.680 You don't always have to follow the path that you 0:00:02.720 --> 0:00:04.960 think is set few and what everyone else is doing. 0:00:05.160 --> 0:00:07.680 If you feel like smashing someone in Mario Cart's going 0:00:07.720 --> 0:00:09.000 to make you feel better, go for it. 0:00:09.039 --> 0:00:10.080 There's no right or wrong. 0:00:10.119 --> 0:00:12.079 It's just about what works for you, because at the 0:00:12.160 --> 0:00:14.640 end of the day, weird works if it makes you well, 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.360 and we are all a little bit weird, So try 0:00:17.400 --> 0:00:21.919 something different. Hello, Legends today's episode, I feel like my 0:00:22.000 --> 0:00:23.599 friends need to be listening to you right now, because 0:00:23.600 --> 0:00:25.599 I don't know about you, guys. I feel like everyone 0:00:25.640 --> 0:00:28.000 I talk to you lately, everyone is just going through 0:00:28.000 --> 0:00:29.479 it right now. I don't know if mercury is in 0:00:29.480 --> 0:00:32.400 the microwave again, but I just feel like a lot 0:00:32.440 --> 0:00:34.800 of people, like honestly some of my best mates, everyone 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:36.720 is going through a really tough time at the moment. 0:00:37.120 --> 0:00:40.240 And I think this episode is very, very well timed 0:00:40.760 --> 0:00:44.280 because as someone I've suffered with anxiety in my whole life, 0:00:44.560 --> 0:00:48.680 and I you know, in the past, I would shame 0:00:48.760 --> 0:00:51.800 myself into stillness and I would literally try to meingir 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:55.200 my way into meditating, and it really does defeat the purpose. 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.120 If you're someone like me, when you're stressed or anxious. 0:00:57.160 --> 0:01:00.000 You can't physically sit down and meditate like you couldn't 0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:03.320 if anything worse, And all the other ways that people 0:01:03.320 --> 0:01:05.000 are trying to tell you to work on your mental 0:01:05.040 --> 0:01:09.360 health just don't work for you. This episode is going 0:01:09.440 --> 0:01:11.120 to save your life, and it's also going to make 0:01:11.120 --> 0:01:11.880 you realize. 0:01:11.560 --> 0:01:15.440 You're not broken, you're not weird. We're all just so different. Look. 0:01:15.480 --> 0:01:19.000 I've been working on, you know, personal growth and everything 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.000 for a long time, but there was a time where 0:01:21.040 --> 0:01:23.880 I would just force myself to sit there and meditate 0:01:23.959 --> 0:01:27.160 when it just did not feel right for me. And 0:01:27.360 --> 0:01:29.839 that's because I thought that's what healthy people did. I thought, 0:01:29.880 --> 0:01:32.440 this is what everyone's raving about, this meditation thing, Like 0:01:32.480 --> 0:01:34.840 why isn't it working for me? And obviously, over time 0:01:35.480 --> 0:01:38.080 meditation I really looked into it, and the way I 0:01:38.160 --> 0:01:40.000 do it is going to be different from other people. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:41.720 But a lot of my problem with it was the 0:01:41.720 --> 0:01:43.679 pressure I was putting on myself. I thought my brain 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:46.160 had to be blank, but apparently it doesn't, which is 0:01:46.240 --> 0:01:48.920 great to know. That's an episode for another time, But 0:01:49.360 --> 0:01:51.520 you know, I genuinely thought if I could just like 0:01:52.200 --> 0:01:55.040 be breathing deeply enough and like sit on the floor 0:01:55.080 --> 0:01:57.760 long enough, I would just become zen and my anxiety 0:01:57.760 --> 0:02:01.560 would disappear. And sure, like with that can help. But 0:02:02.080 --> 0:02:03.960 I remember there was this one day where I was 0:02:04.000 --> 0:02:06.280 just so highly strung, I was so anxious, and I 0:02:06.320 --> 0:02:08.519 tried to sit down and meditate and I just wasn't 0:02:08.520 --> 0:02:10.760 feeling it, and I stopped the track. I got up, 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:12.840 and I decluttered a drawer and I felt so much better. 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:18.360 You know, for many of us with anxious minds, we 0:02:18.440 --> 0:02:20.760 need to move that energy. And I think, you know, 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:25.880 there's this big misconception of what you know, mindfulness. 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:27.520 Looks like that it has to be still, you have. 0:02:27.480 --> 0:02:29.400 To not be moving, you have to have a blank mind, 0:02:29.440 --> 0:02:31.400 and that's just not the truth, and that's not the 0:02:31.440 --> 0:02:35.080 reality of it. Sometimes listening to a woman on YouTube 0:02:35.120 --> 0:02:38.600 saying release what no longer serves you doesn't service as 0:02:38.680 --> 0:02:41.760 well as maybe playing guitar or playing Mario Kart. And 0:02:41.800 --> 0:02:45.200 I'm going to say that honestly, because for me, over 0:02:45.240 --> 0:02:47.920 the years, I've just stopped fighting. I've stopped fighting and 0:02:47.960 --> 0:02:49.400 this is I'm going to work with my brain and 0:02:49.400 --> 0:02:50.079 not against it. 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:53.080 So this episode is for you. If you just. 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:58.800 Have tried every traditional method of mindfulness, you're trying to 0:02:58.800 --> 0:03:00.959 work on your mental health. But for you, you just 0:03:01.080 --> 0:03:03.480 can't think of anything worse than sitting down and meditating 0:03:03.520 --> 0:03:05.280 and worrying about the emails you need to send, the 0:03:05.320 --> 0:03:07.720 lunch boxes you still have to pack, and you just 0:03:07.960 --> 0:03:10.320 need to try something different. This is for you, and 0:03:10.360 --> 0:03:12.280 I'm going to be giving you my seven weird things 0:03:12.320 --> 0:03:14.200 I do for my mental health that you probably won't 0:03:14.240 --> 0:03:18.360 hear in therapy. And again disclaimer, I'm not saying don't 0:03:18.360 --> 0:03:20.400 go to therapy because that is so important, but I 0:03:20.400 --> 0:03:23.720 think sometimes we just need to like realize that the 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:26.000 way everyone else seems to do it on TikTok isn't 0:03:26.000 --> 0:03:26.960 the way that you need to do. 0:03:26.919 --> 0:03:27.400 It as well. 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:31.280 And I think with these I actually posted these tips 0:03:31.280 --> 0:03:33.919 a little while ago on Instagram and they went off, 0:03:34.639 --> 0:03:37.360 and I think for me, I wouldn't have posted something 0:03:37.400 --> 0:03:38.160 like that years ago. 0:03:38.200 --> 0:03:39.840 But the older I get, you. 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.000 Know, I'm realizing that maybe mental health isn't forcing yourself 0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.720 into routines that look good online. Maybe it's about understanding 0:03:45.760 --> 0:03:48.120 your brain and instead of constantly trying to fight it, 0:03:49.040 --> 0:03:52.560 you just do the little things that you know to 0:03:52.600 --> 0:03:55.520 the outside world look odd, like sitting in your car 0:03:55.600 --> 0:03:58.080 for thirty minutes after drop off. But if you feel 0:03:58.120 --> 0:04:01.360 lighter afterwards, then do the thing. And to help back 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.120 up my claims these weird systems and habits, I'm going 0:04:04.200 --> 0:04:06.400 to be sharing the science behind some of them as well. 0:04:06.480 --> 0:04:09.440 So I'm actually not insane and I actually do have 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:13.520 a valid argument over here. I think, just like with 0:04:13.560 --> 0:04:16.080 health and fitness, we've just been sold this version of 0:04:16.680 --> 0:04:20.039 mindfulness and mental health that looks beautiful on the outside, 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.600 but it also feels impossible in real life, because honestly, 0:04:23.600 --> 0:04:25.800 my nervous system has been more healed by playing Mario 0:04:25.880 --> 0:04:28.640 Karte and guitar than you know meditation ever has on 0:04:28.760 --> 0:04:33.799 a hard day. Look, I think the sooner you realize 0:04:33.839 --> 0:04:36.520 self care isn't always about bubble baths or touching grass, 0:04:36.560 --> 0:04:39.760 which are also great and very good for you, Sometimes 0:04:39.760 --> 0:04:42.720 it's muting your group chats and reorganizing the spicetraw. 0:04:43.360 --> 0:04:45.960 Not speaking from experience or anything. But before I. 0:04:45.880 --> 0:04:49.440 Get into it, a little life update now. I feel like, 0:04:49.640 --> 0:04:51.480 you know, when the moment you decide you want to 0:04:51.520 --> 0:04:54.240 become a mum and have children, you tend to think 0:04:54.240 --> 0:04:56.720 of like the baby stage. You don't really think about, 0:04:57.240 --> 0:04:59.440 you know, as they get older, and it really is true, 0:04:59.480 --> 0:05:02.440 like I'm starting to understand the saying little people, little problems, 0:05:02.480 --> 0:05:06.000 big people, big problems. And you know my girls now 0:05:06.000 --> 0:05:08.400 they're eight and ten and they're just their own little 0:05:08.440 --> 0:05:11.320 people and they literally actually I brought them into work today, 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:14.080 so they came into the studio here at Nova, and 0:05:14.640 --> 0:05:16.360 I really would love to interview. 0:05:16.040 --> 0:05:16.440 Them one day. 0:05:16.440 --> 0:05:17.960 I think it would be really funny, and I know 0:05:18.040 --> 0:05:20.120 they would definitely out me on a lot of things, 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:22.160 but I think they would help us get a bit 0:05:22.200 --> 0:05:24.520 of a reality check as well, because you know, the 0:05:24.520 --> 0:05:27.400 way kids view the world, it's much more simple and 0:05:27.440 --> 0:05:28.720 they can actually see. 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:30.440 The solution to a lot of our problems. 0:05:31.960 --> 0:05:34.560 Like, for example, one of the girls said to me 0:05:34.600 --> 0:05:36.800 the other day, like, Mum, why are always so stressed 0:05:36.800 --> 0:05:39.120 about the washing and the cleaning. I said, oh, because 0:05:39.240 --> 0:05:40.920 like it needs like I have to do it, and 0:05:40.960 --> 0:05:43.239 it's like it just Mummy always has to do those things. 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:47.440 And they said to me, but there's always got to 0:05:47.520 --> 0:05:51.200 be more to do, and I was like, that's right. 0:05:51.480 --> 0:05:54.120 And then afterwards when I felt a bit more defeated 0:05:54.160 --> 0:05:57.360 after hearing that, and then she turned to me and said, 0:05:58.120 --> 0:06:00.360 remember that your nance said to you that time. If 0:06:00.400 --> 0:06:03.359 you can't control it, don't worry about it. I was like, 0:06:03.560 --> 0:06:05.160 that's so true, Like you're never going to get to 0:06:05.200 --> 0:06:06.760 the end of your emails, You're never going to get 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:09.400 the end of your to do list, you never unfortunately 0:06:09.800 --> 0:06:11.400 going to ever finish your cleaning and washing. 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:12.360 So the more I'm. 0:06:12.200 --> 0:06:14.560 Stressing about a task that just doesn't that has to 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:17.839 be done each day, it's just like energy wasted. 0:06:18.440 --> 0:06:20.760 And that really did give me a bit of a 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:22.159 brutal wake up call as well. 0:06:22.600 --> 0:06:24.880 Speaking of one of the girls, which obviously I'm not 0:06:24.880 --> 0:06:29.040 going to name, who has been, you know, struggling with 0:06:29.080 --> 0:06:31.960 a bit of anxiety lately, and as myself, like I 0:06:32.040 --> 0:06:35.440 remember being in kindergarten and having anxiety attacks over going 0:06:35.440 --> 0:06:39.479 to your six Like I really really hoped that the 0:06:39.560 --> 0:06:41.960 kids wouldn't have to deal with the level anxiety that 0:06:42.040 --> 0:06:45.680 I have. But you know, genetics and things, but it 0:06:45.720 --> 0:06:49.320 can feel a little bit defeating sometimes, like when you 0:06:49.320 --> 0:06:51.680 know you'd think someone like myself, I've had anxiety in 0:06:51.680 --> 0:06:52.160 my whole life. 0:06:52.160 --> 0:06:53.480 I've done a lot of work on myself. 0:06:53.520 --> 0:06:55.719 I'm literally on a podcast like I'm at Nova with 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:58.520 my podcast talking about mental health hacks. And here I 0:06:58.560 --> 0:07:01.440 am really struggling to help my own child with her anxiety, 0:07:02.240 --> 0:07:04.840 and I think, you know, we might not have all 0:07:04.839 --> 0:07:07.559 the answers, but just having being like that soft place 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:11.000 for them to land is the most important thing. And 0:07:11.560 --> 0:07:13.120 I'm not going to go into parenting and all that 0:07:13.120 --> 0:07:15.480 stuff right now, but I think we need to do 0:07:15.520 --> 0:07:18.600 the same for ourselves. We might not always have the 0:07:18.640 --> 0:07:22.200 answer to our issues or our problems, but as long 0:07:22.240 --> 0:07:26.400 as we are gentle enough with ourselves to just let 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:28.560 it out and let it be. And that a lot 0:07:28.560 --> 0:07:31.440 of the time, like think about you know, the times 0:07:31.440 --> 0:07:33.720 that you maybe go to someone with an issue. And 0:07:33.800 --> 0:07:35.800 I know, like a lot of people's partners and husbands 0:07:35.840 --> 0:07:38.560 and that. And I'm not being sexist, but men typically 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:40.880 tend to be fixers. They just want to fix things, 0:07:40.920 --> 0:07:43.720 whereas as women, we tend to want people just to listen. 0:07:44.000 --> 0:07:46.480 We want to just offload. And that's where a lot 0:07:46.480 --> 0:07:49.360 of relationships can have, like some struggles because the woman 0:07:49.480 --> 0:07:51.400 just wants to talk it out and the man wants 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:55.320 to fix. And then I found myself as a mum 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:58.680 doing that to my kids with their anxiety, Like I'm like, okay, 0:07:58.760 --> 0:08:01.600 let's try this, but like if I could just listen 0:08:02.360 --> 0:08:05.080 and I let them have their say and like validate 0:08:05.120 --> 0:08:06.840 them and say like, oh that would be really hard, 0:08:07.000 --> 0:08:09.520 that really did help them move it out of their 0:08:09.520 --> 0:08:12.000 nervous system. So it's the same with us. And a 0:08:12.000 --> 0:08:14.680 lot of these points do relate back to that that 0:08:15.120 --> 0:08:17.520 sometimes we don't have to force ourselves to be still 0:08:17.640 --> 0:08:20.320 or find the answer. We just need to move the 0:08:20.480 --> 0:08:23.880 energy out of our body and have somewhere that maybe 0:08:23.960 --> 0:08:27.440 someone can just listen and validate us if we need that. 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:30.760 And I've got a literally very important and you need 0:08:30.800 --> 0:08:33.000 to stay to the end of this episode because that 0:08:33.040 --> 0:08:35.680 one specifically is one of the biggest ones. And I 0:08:35.760 --> 0:08:39.000 have a very important hack and tip that you need 0:08:39.040 --> 0:08:40.560 to do with that, so you're not always going to 0:08:40.600 --> 0:08:42.600 people for that, and it's actually going to be more 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:44.240 beneficial for you. And I'm not saying not to talk 0:08:44.280 --> 0:08:45.839 to people, but you just need to stay to the 0:08:45.920 --> 0:08:47.040 end to hear what I'm talking about. 0:08:47.520 --> 0:08:49.680 All right, So let's talk about the weird. 0:08:49.520 --> 0:08:51.600 Shit I do for my mental health and my nervous system. 0:08:51.720 --> 0:08:52.920 But first I want to hit you with something I 0:08:53.000 --> 0:08:55.960 wish I realized a long time ago, and that is 0:08:56.600 --> 0:09:00.160 why we are all quite on edge, overwhelmed, anxious, Like 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:03.400 when you think about it, you know, many people we 0:09:03.480 --> 0:09:06.720 know they have some form of anxiety or mental health issues, 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:08.640 and when you think about it, we kind of don't 0:09:08.679 --> 0:09:11.079 have it, like much of a chance of not having it. 0:09:11.200 --> 0:09:14.520 You know, we live in a modern life where like 0:09:14.640 --> 0:09:17.440 our modern world is wrecking havoc. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:18.280 On our nervous system. 0:09:19.040 --> 0:09:20.760 And there was a study done It says the average 0:09:20.760 --> 0:09:23.760 woman has between six thousand and sixty thousand thoughts a day, 0:09:24.320 --> 0:09:26.040 and most of them are repetitive, and most of them 0:09:26.040 --> 0:09:28.880 are stressful. And also women are two times more likely 0:09:28.920 --> 0:09:32.640 than men to be diagnosed with anxiety and ADHD, and 0:09:32.679 --> 0:09:35.600 women are also, as we know, massively undiagnosed because we 0:09:35.679 --> 0:09:39.640 present differently. Now I'm not like, I know, everyone's got 0:09:39.880 --> 0:09:42.400 different opinions on this. I was diagnosed with my ADHD 0:09:42.440 --> 0:09:45.040 when I was six, so I kind of knew that 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:47.280 I couldn't concentrate in things like that, but I didn't 0:09:47.320 --> 0:09:48.600 get a whole lot of help with it, to be 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:50.960 honest with you, Like I got the diagnosis, but I 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:53.680 didn't really get the tools to help me. But now 0:09:53.760 --> 0:09:56.000 like there's all these women who were finding out, Oh 0:09:56.040 --> 0:09:58.080 my God, I've got ADHD and this makes so much sense. 0:09:58.080 --> 0:10:00.040 Why I've got like, you know, there's like a a 0:10:00.040 --> 0:10:01.920 million different thoughts going on at once, and why I 0:10:01.960 --> 0:10:04.640 can't start tasks and why I can't concentrate, and you 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:08.680 just feel like you're just you've lived your life feeling different. 0:10:09.559 --> 0:10:12.520 But there's so many of us. And it also doesn't 0:10:12.520 --> 0:10:16.040 help that, you know, smartphone notifications literally will spark our 0:10:16.080 --> 0:10:18.920 cortisol and we're always with our smartphone, we always have 0:10:19.000 --> 0:10:22.800 our phone on us, and you know, researchers actually measured 0:10:22.800 --> 0:10:25.880 it that every notification is a micro stress response in 0:10:25.920 --> 0:10:28.240 our body to process like our brain every time our 0:10:28.280 --> 0:10:31.160 phone goes off, it's like our brain thinks we're going 0:10:31.160 --> 0:10:32.920 to be eaten by tiger, not that we need to 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:35.480 reply to an email. So here's the thing that finally 0:10:35.520 --> 0:10:37.400 clicked for me is that it's not that I was 0:10:37.400 --> 0:10:39.880 weak or that I didn't have the willpower to sit 0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:42.120 still and do the things. It's that my nervous system 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:44.160 was running on the wrong settings for the life. 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:44.679 I was living. 0:10:45.600 --> 0:10:48.920 So for me especially and women like me, when we 0:10:48.960 --> 0:10:51.160 have our smartphones on all the time and having like 0:10:51.520 --> 0:10:53.559 all these access to ourselves, which is I'm going to 0:10:53.600 --> 0:10:57.120 go into my my rules in a minute. You were 0:10:57.160 --> 0:11:00.480 literally putting gasoline on the fire. We're not going to 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:02.360 do that anymore. And it's going to make sense very soon. 0:11:03.120 --> 0:11:06.360 And again I disclaim, I'm not a therapist. I'm just 0:11:06.400 --> 0:11:09.800 a woman who has lived a life of different. 0:11:09.520 --> 0:11:11.120 Mental health issues. I have ADHD. 0:11:11.280 --> 0:11:13.320 I'm a hot mess, and I'm here to help you, 0:11:13.440 --> 0:11:15.320 to tell you what helped me. But of course I 0:11:15.520 --> 0:11:20.200 never would recommend doing these things like in place of therapy. 0:11:20.679 --> 0:11:23.160 Therapy is so important. I go to therapy and I 0:11:23.200 --> 0:11:25.320 have for a long time. But I think this is 0:11:25.400 --> 0:11:27.800 just a bit more about giving yourself permission to try 0:11:27.800 --> 0:11:30.080 different things and talk to your therapists about these things 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:34.079 as well. All right, The first one is my phone 0:11:34.080 --> 0:11:38.600 has been on silent for six years. You know how 0:11:38.640 --> 0:11:40.880 sometimes you have to hit rock bottom in order to 0:11:40.960 --> 0:11:43.559 make changes in your life. Well, this is kind of 0:11:43.600 --> 0:11:46.000 what happened with me when I first turned my phone 0:11:46.000 --> 0:11:49.400 on silent six years ago. I had started SPP and 0:11:49.440 --> 0:11:51.479 it was running for a couple of years. By that point, 0:11:51.760 --> 0:11:54.120 it was, you know, amazing, it was thriving. I didn't 0:11:54.160 --> 0:11:56.480 expect it to become what it is now. If you 0:11:56.480 --> 0:11:58.120 guys are knew here. I run my own brand called 0:11:58.120 --> 0:12:01.520 staff Based Planners. I make planners for messy minds and 0:12:01.559 --> 0:12:04.360 the type B girlies of the world who have a 0:12:04.400 --> 0:12:06.199 brain that wants to be Type A because you need 0:12:06.200 --> 0:12:08.600 to be organized because you get anxious, but your actions 0:12:08.600 --> 0:12:09.000 are Type B. 0:12:09.240 --> 0:12:10.480 So that's pretty much my thing. 0:12:11.720 --> 0:12:14.440 So it was dinner time and the girls were little, 0:12:14.480 --> 0:12:16.520 so I had Harper was a toddler, Whill there was baby. 0:12:16.640 --> 0:12:19.160 I'm trying to cook dinner. Harper was crying. 0:12:19.800 --> 0:12:22.760 I was replying, I was fixing someone's Shopify order, and 0:12:22.800 --> 0:12:24.439 then I was doing emails at the same time. 0:12:24.880 --> 0:12:26.560 And I suddenly, amongst all. 0:12:26.480 --> 0:12:28.080 That I was trying to help Harper and do all 0:12:28.120 --> 0:12:31.240 the things, my phone went off with an email and 0:12:31.600 --> 0:12:34.080 I just burst into tears. I just felt like I 0:12:34.080 --> 0:12:36.240 was in a pressure cooker, and I just knew that 0:12:36.280 --> 0:12:38.680 if there was one more thing, I was going to explode, 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:42.920 and that thing was an email notification. I just felt 0:12:42.920 --> 0:12:45.480 in oudequate, like I just couldn't keep up. I just 0:12:45.480 --> 0:12:48.960 constantly felt like I was chasing my tail. And I 0:12:49.000 --> 0:12:51.840 placed Willow down and I looked at the scene in 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:54.320 front of me. There was a washing basket that I 0:12:54.360 --> 0:12:56.439 had been folding fifteen minutes just beforehand. 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:57.319 The dinner's on. 0:12:57.240 --> 0:12:59.720 The stove, I've got the two little kids. I've got 0:12:59.720 --> 0:13:02.520 my phone still going off. I've got my laptop open 0:13:02.600 --> 0:13:05.760 up on Shopify. And then my phone went off again, 0:13:06.440 --> 0:13:08.320 and I went over to it, and I went into 0:13:08.320 --> 0:13:10.920 settings and I turned off my email notification and I 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:13.400 turned it on silent, and I haven't turned it back 0:13:13.400 --> 0:13:13.839 on since. 0:13:15.960 --> 0:13:16.320 Now. 0:13:17.520 --> 0:13:18.880 I will go into this a bit more because you're 0:13:18.880 --> 0:13:21.280 probably thinking, what about the kids' school, what about emergencies. 0:13:21.400 --> 0:13:25.200 We'll go into that in a second. But that was 0:13:25.240 --> 0:13:30.720 the day I realized that every notification, like I said, 0:13:30.840 --> 0:13:32.640 was like a little fire going off in my brain. 0:13:32.840 --> 0:13:36.720 I was always accessible. And what's hard is especially with kids. 0:13:36.760 --> 0:13:39.199 And that's what worries me about social media with the 0:13:39.280 --> 0:13:42.120 kids is they don't have an off switch either. They 0:13:42.240 --> 0:13:44.600 go to school and maybe there's bullies, and they bring 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:46.880 the bullies home with them in their phone in their pocket. 0:13:47.120 --> 0:13:48.920 And that they don't get They don't get a break 0:13:48.960 --> 0:13:49.280 from that. 0:13:49.320 --> 0:13:51.680 They don't get a break from maybe masking all day 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:54.079 or putting on a front. Even if you have ADHD 0:13:54.280 --> 0:13:58.199 or you don't like you're always do. It's technically we're performing. 0:13:58.280 --> 0:14:00.720 Think about how you act with like your family versus 0:14:00.760 --> 0:14:03.720 your friends, or your you know, people at work versus 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.240 someone you've just met, Like you always kind of feel 0:14:06.240 --> 0:14:07.960 like you're kind of performing in a way, and that's 0:14:08.000 --> 0:14:11.360 exhausting over time, So you do need that time to 0:14:11.360 --> 0:14:12.000 switch off. 0:14:12.040 --> 0:14:13.040 And we're not humans. 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:15.400 We're not meant to be accessible twenty four seven, Like, 0:14:15.440 --> 0:14:17.080 that's not how we were meant to be. We were 0:14:17.120 --> 0:14:19.120 meant to be in our little village with two hundred people, 0:14:20.000 --> 0:14:23.479 and we were not meant to have a phone with millions, 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.520 millions and billions of people, and most of them are 0:14:25.520 --> 0:14:28.000 hot because they're genetically blessed, and we see them all 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:30.680 and then we feel inadequate. We're not meant to have 0:14:30.920 --> 0:14:34.320 access to that many people. You know, I was living 0:14:34.320 --> 0:14:36.040 in a state where by nine o'clock in the morning 0:14:36.080 --> 0:14:39.280 I had already gotten forty notifications because you know, I 0:14:39.360 --> 0:14:41.200 had the shop, I had so many things going on. 0:14:41.560 --> 0:14:42.600 And that was me with a business. 0:14:42.640 --> 0:14:44.920 But even without a business, think about all the different 0:14:44.960 --> 0:14:48.240 notifications your phone gives you. It's a lot you need to, 0:14:48.440 --> 0:14:51.880 like think about how much you need to protect your 0:14:51.920 --> 0:14:55.080 peace and that is not protecting your peace. Is it 0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:58.120 really that urgent that you need to apply to an 0:14:58.120 --> 0:15:01.880 email that is a you know, the school's fundraiser in 0:15:01.960 --> 0:15:03.880 two weeks at nine pm at night. 0:15:04.320 --> 0:15:05.040 That can wait. 0:15:05.200 --> 0:15:07.200 The thing is this is where I started to live 0:15:07.240 --> 0:15:11.520 by the saying their urgency is not your emergency. Unless 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:14.480 you're a doctor saving lives, you do not need to 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:15.680 like be on call. 0:15:15.560 --> 0:15:18.000 All the time. So what I want you to do. 0:15:18.320 --> 0:15:20.400 Our phones have settings in them where even if people 0:15:20.480 --> 0:15:22.720 call you twice, if there is an emergency and they 0:15:22.720 --> 0:15:24.680 call you twice, it will actually ring through. 0:15:25.120 --> 0:15:28.000 There is settings for that. You can do so much now. 0:15:28.120 --> 0:15:32.200 You can make sure your kids school that always comes through. 0:15:32.920 --> 0:15:35.560 You can set focus modes for work so from nine 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.360 to five you have your certain notifications on. People can 0:15:38.400 --> 0:15:40.120 call you and then it goes off automatically so you 0:15:40.120 --> 0:15:43.640 don't have to think about it. Nothing is that urgent 0:15:43.680 --> 0:15:46.080 when you think about it, there is nothing that could 0:15:46.120 --> 0:15:49.160 possibly be that urgent. You know, and people might panic, 0:15:49.200 --> 0:15:51.280 think like what if I miss something? You know, you 0:15:51.360 --> 0:15:55.040 check your phone. You can check your phone, and I 0:15:55.080 --> 0:15:56.600 know I think I did. I think I did a 0:15:56.640 --> 0:15:59.320 tech dtox. I think it was like a tech dtox 0:15:59.360 --> 0:16:02.480 blog or something thing ages ago, and I said, any 0:16:02.520 --> 0:16:05.000 emails that are older than three months, just archive all 0:16:05.000 --> 0:16:06.680 of them. And people were like, oh my god, whates 0:16:06.720 --> 0:16:08.520 if I can't like ones if I need something, I'm like, 0:16:08.520 --> 0:16:10.880 you can still search them, you know. Like I think 0:16:10.880 --> 0:16:13.080 we're just so used to being on and we're so 0:16:13.160 --> 0:16:16.920 heightened that everything feels much bigger than what it is. Again, 0:16:17.040 --> 0:16:19.840 if someone needs you, they can call twice. If you're 0:16:19.840 --> 0:16:22.120 scared you're going to miss something, you can check your 0:16:22.160 --> 0:16:26.720 phone like no one's taking it away from you. And 0:16:27.160 --> 0:16:31.480 this is where I, you know, really implemented some pretty 0:16:31.480 --> 0:16:34.240 strict rules. And then even within my business in SPP, 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:36.920 like with marketing and stuff. 0:16:36.920 --> 0:16:38.400 Guys, the e commerce world is wild. 0:16:38.440 --> 0:16:40.920 You have so much going on, but you know, the team, 0:16:40.920 --> 0:16:43.000 we're all emailing each other, and it was just like 0:16:43.080 --> 0:16:45.880 a larger effort because I feel like an email there 0:16:45.920 --> 0:16:49.000 comes a certain expectation to be like, say certain things, 0:16:49.000 --> 0:16:51.120 you have to greet each other. So then what I 0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:54.600 did was and so we had proper trails. I set 0:16:54.600 --> 0:16:57.200 a hard rule within the company that everyone has to 0:16:57.880 --> 0:16:59.920 only use Slack. So Slack is like it's kind of 0:16:59.920 --> 0:17:02.840 like an instant messaging thing, but like business, but it's 0:17:02.920 --> 0:17:06.359 much better and it's much more informal. It's small, chill 0:17:06.960 --> 0:17:09.360 and anything internal now is through slack and it has 0:17:09.400 --> 0:17:12.320 been for years, and that just saved the abundance of emails. 0:17:12.320 --> 0:17:16.159 So emails are for external communication. Slack is internal. And 0:17:16.160 --> 0:17:18.240 that was the hard rule I said, and I've never 0:17:18.280 --> 0:17:20.760 looked back, and now you need to kind of view it. 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:24.560 Your life is the same. External communication you need to 0:17:24.600 --> 0:17:27.359 have a hard rule. Internal communication is people who actually 0:17:27.440 --> 0:17:30.399 live in your house that you're together. The internal communication 0:17:30.520 --> 0:17:33.280 needs to be the focus for you. And even then 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.240 you still are allowed to hide, which i'll go into 0:17:35.240 --> 0:17:35.800 an a minute. 0:17:35.920 --> 0:17:36.520 So what I want you. 0:17:36.560 --> 0:17:38.399 To do right now, which I know it sounds scary. 0:17:38.440 --> 0:17:39.760 I want you to pull out your phone and go 0:17:39.800 --> 0:17:41.720 to settings. So this is for iPhones. I want you to 0:17:41.720 --> 0:17:43.480 go to settings and then you're going to go to 0:17:43.520 --> 0:17:45.840 your focus modes. So you're gonna go to focus and 0:17:45.880 --> 0:17:48.040 then you can click on like personal or whatever it is, 0:17:48.880 --> 0:17:50.800 and then you can click this thing now that it's 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:54.800 called intelligent breakthrough and silencing. So when it's active, it 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:58.200 allows priority notifications to interrupt you and silence other ones. 0:17:58.240 --> 0:18:00.080 But you can also pick these. You can also I 0:18:00.119 --> 0:18:02.400 pick certain people that can always come through and call you. 0:18:02.840 --> 0:18:04.760 And there's also settings in there where you can make 0:18:04.760 --> 0:18:05.920 sure that if they ring. 0:18:06.040 --> 0:18:07.440 Twice, it comes through. 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:10.640 And even like in terms of for me, I used 0:18:10.640 --> 0:18:12.480 to always sleep with my phone next to my bed, 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:14.480 which admittedly I hadn't been doing that again. 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:17.800 But you know, when you're asleep, everyone puts. 0:18:17.520 --> 0:18:19.960 Their phone on night mode or silent, you know, or 0:18:19.960 --> 0:18:23.960 do not disturb and you're not worried then, but emergencies 0:18:23.960 --> 0:18:25.520 can happen during the night, you know what I mean. 0:18:25.560 --> 0:18:28.280 But just remember, like you've got the choice, and you've 0:18:28.280 --> 0:18:31.879 got so much cool settings in your phone where you 0:18:31.960 --> 0:18:34.960 can activate that. So I want you to go to 0:18:35.040 --> 0:18:37.320 settings and go to focus and now we're going to 0:18:37.359 --> 0:18:40.159 go into our focus filters so you can actually add 0:18:40.240 --> 0:18:43.240 app focuses and things like that. And there's now there's 0:18:43.240 --> 0:18:45.000 like AI and stuff in our phone, so it actually 0:18:45.040 --> 0:18:47.680 can do it for us. But you can even set 0:18:47.720 --> 0:18:49.960 a schedule for a location. So I've got one where 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:52.760 it turns my personal focus mode on when I arrive home, 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:55.879 and that means only certain people can contact me. I 0:18:55.920 --> 0:18:58.640 only get certain notifications like I don't get email notifications. 0:18:58.680 --> 0:19:01.400 I actually turned my email note vacations off my phone altogether, 0:19:01.440 --> 0:19:04.280 which I'll get into later. And it's all automated, Like 0:19:04.320 --> 0:19:06.160 you don't have to think. You can just do these 0:19:06.200 --> 0:19:08.360 things and set you know, you can even have one 0:19:08.400 --> 0:19:10.400 for like a morning routine. So I've got a morning 0:19:10.480 --> 0:19:13.760 routine focus mode where I can only access certain apps, 0:19:13.760 --> 0:19:15.720 so I can access like my meditation app, I can 0:19:16.000 --> 0:19:19.639 access all this other stuff like Spotify and that. And 0:19:19.800 --> 0:19:22.080 because obviously in this episode I'm going to talk, it 0:19:22.119 --> 0:19:25.040 sounds like I'm ragging on meditation a lot. But meditation 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:26.840 is great, but you just need to find the one 0:19:26.840 --> 0:19:28.960 that works for you. So I can do another episode 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:31.239 on that. But it only allows me to look at 0:19:31.280 --> 0:19:34.200 certain things, so I'm not like scrolling Instagram like allows 0:19:34.200 --> 0:19:36.679 me to go on like substack and stuff. But you 0:19:36.720 --> 0:19:38.720 can do so much now. So if you do one 0:19:38.840 --> 0:19:41.000 take one thing from this episode, I want you to 0:19:41.000 --> 0:19:43.960 hop into your phone settings and just block off yourself 0:19:44.000 --> 0:19:46.840 from the world. It's going to be fine. And this 0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:49.199 is linked to my next weird thing I do for 0:19:49.280 --> 0:19:52.480 my mental health, which is I rarely reply straight away. 0:19:53.160 --> 0:19:55.119 Now look, I won't see her and pretend that this 0:19:55.200 --> 0:19:59.800 is all on purpose. Again, I have ADHD. I forget 0:19:59.840 --> 0:20:03.440 to to pretty much everyone. I'm terrible, but remember their 0:20:03.560 --> 0:20:06.400 urgency is not your emergency. That is our new slogan 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:09.880 for life like And since I turn my email notifications 0:20:09.880 --> 0:20:12.240 off my phone because hey, when I actually want to 0:20:12.240 --> 0:20:14.439 be intentional and do my work, I'll be on my 0:20:14.520 --> 0:20:18.280 laptop anyway. That's when I'm going to be able to 0:20:18.280 --> 0:20:21.360 write the best replies and actually understand. Like half the time, 0:20:21.400 --> 0:20:23.520 i'd be reading emails at midnight and I don't even 0:20:23.560 --> 0:20:26.159 know what they're talking about. And I remember my cousin, 0:20:26.280 --> 0:20:28.320 My cousin, Sammy, you still work with me at SPP, 0:20:28.800 --> 0:20:30.720 And she'd always say to me, Steph, you only reply 0:20:30.760 --> 0:20:32.880 to half the questions in my email, and that's because 0:20:32.880 --> 0:20:35.520 I wasn't bloody paying attention. I know that sounds really 0:20:35.600 --> 0:20:38.119 bad and I should be more professional, but I'm also like, 0:20:38.160 --> 0:20:41.639 it's families, okay, But you need to be more intentional 0:20:41.640 --> 0:20:45.080 with your time and where you're putting your time. Research 0:20:45.119 --> 0:20:48.479 actually shows that every distraction, every time, like you're focused 0:20:48.520 --> 0:20:51.040 on a task and you get pulled away by a notification, 0:20:51.240 --> 0:20:53.879 by a little human, by anything, it takes you thirty 0:20:54.000 --> 0:20:57.800 minutes to refocus. So every time your phone goes off, 0:20:57.840 --> 0:21:00.439 every time your kids come in and you get into erupted, 0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:03.880 you were wasting thirty minutes. So imagine if you get 0:21:03.880 --> 0:21:06.320 a couple of those, that's like hours a day is gone. 0:21:07.440 --> 0:21:09.439 So now what I do in terms of my emails 0:21:09.480 --> 0:21:12.080 and communications with the outside world, I have two windows 0:21:12.119 --> 0:21:14.560 a day. I have one in the late morning because 0:21:14.760 --> 0:21:17.800 for me, when I wake up and I'm sitting down 0:21:17.800 --> 0:21:19.560 to work, I need to do the hard thing first, 0:21:19.600 --> 0:21:21.480 and that's when my brain is at its best. So 0:21:21.800 --> 0:21:24.280 you bet I'm not wasting that time, that power hour 0:21:24.359 --> 0:21:27.399 on emails. And I honestly recommend everyone does the same. 0:21:27.840 --> 0:21:31.080 So late morning I'll do an email check, do my comms, check, 0:21:31.160 --> 0:21:32.600 reply to things, and then I do it again in 0:21:32.600 --> 0:21:34.520 the afternoon. Some days I'll do it once a day 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:38.800 because again, I'm not saving lives here, I'm really not 0:21:38.840 --> 0:21:43.359 saving lives. And you can group all your coms together 0:21:43.440 --> 0:21:45.119 for these two parts of the day. You can do 0:21:45.119 --> 0:21:47.000 your text messages, you can do your emails, you can 0:21:47.040 --> 0:21:48.280 do your slack, you can. 0:21:48.200 --> 0:21:50.480 Check your kids like school thing. It can be like 0:21:50.520 --> 0:21:51.160 your full. 0:21:50.920 --> 0:21:55.159 Comms like thirty minutes, you know, and By batching the 0:21:55.200 --> 0:21:57.320 tasks that are similar together, it's going to make it 0:21:57.359 --> 0:21:59.640 a lot easier for your brain. Because if we're doing 0:21:59.680 --> 0:22:02.199 something a bit more creative or like we're cleaning and 0:22:02.200 --> 0:22:05.399 then we're trying to do emails, we're task switching constantly, 0:22:05.920 --> 0:22:08.000 and that is a lot of pressure on my brain 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.159 and we're not going to do it well. So be 0:22:10.240 --> 0:22:13.560 more intentional by time batching, and that in itself, Yes, 0:22:13.600 --> 0:22:16.399 it's a productivity hack, but it's also like a mental 0:22:16.440 --> 0:22:21.200 health hack. Is batching like items together. Do you addmin 0:22:21.359 --> 0:22:23.840 in one section, If you need to do creative stuff, 0:22:23.880 --> 0:22:25.440 do that in another section. If you need to clean, 0:22:25.480 --> 0:22:27.480 do that in another section. That's why, like even now 0:22:27.520 --> 0:22:31.080 when I'm creating my social media posts, when you're making 0:22:31.080 --> 0:22:32.880 a post, there's a lot of phases, like you got 0:22:32.880 --> 0:22:34.480 to do the right like you got to do the ideas, 0:22:34.480 --> 0:22:36.439 You've got to write it, then you got to like 0:22:36.440 --> 0:22:38.199 maybe take photos or film it, and then you've got 0:22:38.240 --> 0:22:39.640 to edit it, and then you got to do the caption. 0:22:39.800 --> 0:22:40.959 Like there's a lot of different phases. 0:22:40.960 --> 0:22:42.439 And I used to try to make myself do all 0:22:42.520 --> 0:22:45.600 of them together, but then I started batching them, so 0:22:45.640 --> 0:22:48.119 I'd write all the content for the week in one slot, 0:22:48.160 --> 0:22:49.600 and then I would do the filming for it, you 0:22:49.600 --> 0:22:51.080 know what I mean. And then it just was like 0:22:51.240 --> 0:22:53.880 so much easier on my brain. But by doing this 0:22:53.960 --> 0:22:57.280 it gives me a sense of control because you know, 0:22:57.440 --> 0:23:00.480 usually with our mental health, we feel pretty helpless at 0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:02.719 times that we can't fix it or we can't change it, 0:23:03.080 --> 0:23:05.240 we can't control it. But what can we control. We 0:23:05.280 --> 0:23:08.520 can control when we are accessible. We are in control 0:23:08.560 --> 0:23:11.600 of when other people can contact us. That is yours 0:23:11.680 --> 0:23:14.280 and that is something that you need to protect so fiercely. 0:23:14.440 --> 0:23:16.879 Moving on to weird thing I do. Number three is 0:23:16.960 --> 0:23:20.199 I wear noise canceling headphones in my own house with 0:23:20.240 --> 0:23:20.879 nothing playing. 0:23:21.400 --> 0:23:23.000 Now it's not because I don't love my family. 0:23:23.119 --> 0:23:24.960 I love them dearly, but they do say the word 0:23:25.040 --> 0:23:27.399 mum too many times a day and they think I 0:23:27.440 --> 0:23:29.480 have the answers for everything in the universe and I 0:23:29.520 --> 0:23:33.640 do not. But I, especially in the afternoon, I get 0:23:33.680 --> 0:23:36.600 over stimulated as hell. And you don't love my family, 0:23:36.640 --> 0:23:38.920 love my children, but they're loud, and they say a 0:23:38.960 --> 0:23:41.920 lot of words that we don't need to say. And look, 0:23:42.960 --> 0:23:45.040 it might make me sound like a bad mum, but look, guys, 0:23:45.119 --> 0:23:48.800 we are getting so much, you know, input from the 0:23:48.840 --> 0:23:51.920 outside world in our body, and that along with technology 0:23:51.960 --> 0:23:54.320 and all the sounds and stuff. It's no wonder why 0:23:54.359 --> 0:23:55.960 we are constantly overstimulated. 0:23:55.960 --> 0:23:59.480 As parents. Think about before kids, I thought I was stressed. 0:23:59.520 --> 0:24:00.520 I was not streng like. 0:24:00.560 --> 0:24:02.120 I look back and I look back at my old 0:24:02.160 --> 0:24:04.600 Facebook statuses of me winging about sleep. 0:24:04.359 --> 0:24:07.000 And I was like, twenty two year old stuff. 0:24:07.080 --> 0:24:10.560 You shut your face, you shut your beautiful, youthful skin, 0:24:11.720 --> 0:24:13.920 you shut your beautiful jewey skinned, youthful face. 0:24:13.960 --> 0:24:17.119 Okay, uh, it's just wild. 0:24:17.160 --> 0:24:19.119 And then you become an adult and you have all 0:24:19.119 --> 0:24:22.119 these extra factors that you can't control, which is, you know, 0:24:22.520 --> 0:24:25.200 our sleep and how many times someone. 0:24:25.000 --> 0:24:27.320 Touches you a day, like you just get touched out. 0:24:27.440 --> 0:24:30.080 So if you can reduce the amount of inputs you're 0:24:30.080 --> 0:24:34.240 getting from the outside world, which includes notifications and sounds, 0:24:34.880 --> 0:24:38.159 it's going to help. And there's the science behind this 0:24:38.359 --> 0:24:41.320 is Duke University did a clinical trial and they're doing 0:24:41.320 --> 0:24:43.760 this right now apparently, and they're measuring where the noise 0:24:43.800 --> 0:24:48.280 canceling headphones improve cognitive performance and reduce stressing people with ADHD. 0:24:48.640 --> 0:24:50.720 And there's a board that already recommends them as a 0:24:50.760 --> 0:24:53.520 sensory aid because research already shows that, you know, people 0:24:53.560 --> 0:24:57.760 with ADHD we have a reduced top down control from 0:24:57.760 --> 0:25:01.280 the prefrontal cortex, which means we can't filter background sound 0:25:01.359 --> 0:25:05.639 the way neurotypical brains do. So every sound competes for attention. 0:25:06.600 --> 0:25:09.879 So for us, it's just like everything's turned up twenty 0:25:09.960 --> 0:25:11.800 dollars and it's hard for us to just focus on 0:25:11.800 --> 0:25:14.159 one sound or one conversation. Like I know, for me, 0:25:14.960 --> 0:25:17.560 I used to go into the warehouse five days a week, 0:25:18.200 --> 0:25:20.520 but now I only go a couple because I cannot 0:25:20.560 --> 0:25:23.600 get anything done. I love my team, but the problem 0:25:23.640 --> 0:25:24.960 is me. It's not them, Like I want to know 0:25:24.960 --> 0:25:26.560 where they're talking about. I'll hear them talking, I'm like, 0:25:26.560 --> 0:25:28.720 what are you talking about? I'm so distracting. I'm the 0:25:28.720 --> 0:25:32.000 worst boss ever, but I just can't deal. Like I 0:25:32.040 --> 0:25:34.679 can't focus even visually. If if I see something in 0:25:34.680 --> 0:25:36.719 my field of vision, I need to see what's going on. 0:25:37.200 --> 0:25:38.800 So I need to just I'm like a child and 0:25:38.800 --> 0:25:41.640 I have to parent myself. So most of the days 0:25:41.680 --> 0:25:43.600 of the week, I'm locked in my office working with 0:25:43.680 --> 0:25:46.640 my headphones on and look with this, with this headphone hack. 0:25:46.760 --> 0:25:49.600 You don't need expensive Apple ones. You can get really 0:25:49.680 --> 0:25:52.840 cheat ones on like Amazon and things like that. There's 0:25:52.880 --> 0:25:56.000 even actually a brand if you are not wanting your 0:25:56.160 --> 0:25:59.000 if you still know about to hear your kids decently enough, 0:25:59.080 --> 0:26:01.920 there's a brand called like Loop. I think Loop headphone 0:26:01.960 --> 0:26:07.000 like earphones, but basically they lower the volume enough to 0:26:07.080 --> 0:26:09.320 be able to hear your kids still, and they're very discreet. 0:26:09.359 --> 0:26:10.840 They're like clear, so like say, if. 0:26:10.760 --> 0:26:13.240 You don't want to, like maybe your kids don't like 0:26:13.240 --> 0:26:14.960 you wearing headphones or something, or maybe they. 0:26:14.840 --> 0:26:15.679 Get upset about it. 0:26:15.920 --> 0:26:18.960 They're clear, so you wouldn't even know that you're wearing them. 0:26:19.040 --> 0:26:21.159 Or maybe if even in an office or something, you 0:26:21.160 --> 0:26:24.000 don't want to be rude, you can get these clear 0:26:24.000 --> 0:26:27.399 little ear plugs that muffle the sound enough and you 0:26:27.400 --> 0:26:30.040 can do different attachments and things like. It's wild, actually, 0:26:30.520 --> 0:26:33.000 like you are allowed to be in a room without 0:26:33.080 --> 0:26:35.600 being fully available to everything in it and every sound 0:26:35.600 --> 0:26:39.200 in it. Speaking of parenting, this next one I feel 0:26:39.200 --> 0:26:42.840 like every mother does on the planet, and that is 0:26:42.880 --> 0:26:44.440 I sit in my car for two minutes before I 0:26:44.480 --> 0:26:47.400 go inside. You know, when you arrive home after work 0:26:47.480 --> 0:26:50.440 or after school drop off, and you know you're sitting there, 0:26:50.480 --> 0:26:53.760 you turn the engine off and you just start to 0:26:54.000 --> 0:26:56.520 either stare off into the abyss and your eyes just 0:26:56.520 --> 0:26:58.560 feel very relaxed and focused. 0:26:58.640 --> 0:26:59.640 Or you start scrolling. 0:27:00.080 --> 0:27:01.960 You feel like your ass is glued to the seat 0:27:02.119 --> 0:27:03.960 and there's nothing that could be happening in the world 0:27:04.000 --> 0:27:05.520 that's actually going to make you get up out of 0:27:05.520 --> 0:27:08.399 the car and go inside. Now, this is actually a 0:27:08.400 --> 0:27:11.760 core sign that you are overstimulated and your nervous system 0:27:12.080 --> 0:27:12.760 needs some love. 0:27:13.600 --> 0:27:14.639 But there was a time I. 0:27:14.640 --> 0:27:16.680 Remember years ago, I was sitting in the car and 0:27:16.720 --> 0:27:19.879 I realized I was sitting in the car for forty 0:27:19.920 --> 0:27:23.320 five minutes, and I caught myself getting very angry at myself, 0:27:23.359 --> 0:27:26.360 a bit agitated, frustrated that I, you know, didn't get 0:27:26.480 --> 0:27:28.479 up and go inside and do the things. Though then 0:27:28.480 --> 0:27:31.560 I realized if I didn't have my driver's seat solo time, 0:27:31.680 --> 0:27:33.920 I would go back inside to the kids and likely 0:27:33.960 --> 0:27:37.639 be cranky, be overstimulated, and not be showing up as 0:27:37.640 --> 0:27:38.200 a best parent. 0:27:38.240 --> 0:27:39.800 You know, Ryan had to cover it. He was fine. 0:27:40.640 --> 0:27:43.080 So wherever you could just take these micro moments and 0:27:43.119 --> 0:27:46.720 pockets of time where you can just be just take it. 0:27:46.840 --> 0:27:49.280 Like I've seen on Reddit, I actually read some things 0:27:49.320 --> 0:27:51.240 on Reddit because sometimes for these episodes, I like to 0:27:51.240 --> 0:27:53.520 see what other people do if they do similar things 0:27:53.560 --> 0:27:57.080 to me. And there's people that actually, when they like mums, 0:27:57.119 --> 0:27:58.639 will say I need to go get groceries, I'll go 0:27:58.640 --> 0:28:01.480 to the furthest wior worse like book an appointment that's 0:28:01.520 --> 0:28:02.080 far away. 0:28:02.200 --> 0:28:03.520 Althy'll book a fake. 0:28:03.359 --> 0:28:06.200 Appointment, like we shouldn't be having to book fake appointments 0:28:06.240 --> 0:28:07.040 to take time for ourselves. 0:28:07.040 --> 0:28:09.400 And I feel like I've said this before, but it's true, you. 0:28:09.359 --> 0:28:13.240 Know, And there's actually this is actually called a transition 0:28:13.400 --> 0:28:17.600 ritual because your brain doesn't flip between identities instantly, so 0:28:17.720 --> 0:28:19.560 you might be trying to switch from work mode to 0:28:19.640 --> 0:28:22.119 mum mode, and you actually need something to do that, 0:28:23.240 --> 0:28:26.919 and that requires cognitive load, which is basically brain power. 0:28:27.680 --> 0:28:30.600 And without like a buffer and a transition, you will 0:28:30.600 --> 0:28:33.080 go into the next thing, but you're still half loaded 0:28:33.080 --> 0:28:36.080 with the previous role. So you might come inside from work, 0:28:36.840 --> 0:28:39.360 but you're still you're still in like boss mode or 0:28:39.400 --> 0:28:41.880 work mode, and then you might find your shorder with 0:28:41.880 --> 0:28:44.400 the kids and you don't have like you just don't 0:28:44.440 --> 0:28:46.720 have it in you to be like the best. 0:28:46.600 --> 0:28:47.400 Mum right now. 0:28:47.520 --> 0:28:50.200 So let yourself sit in the car. Sit in the car. 0:28:50.920 --> 0:28:53.280 If that means scrolling, do that. You know, if you 0:28:53.320 --> 0:28:55.600 need to look up Chris hemsworth Instagram to perv on 0:28:55.680 --> 0:28:56.720 his photos, you do that. 0:28:58.520 --> 0:28:59.680 Sorry, my stomach just rumbled. 0:29:00.400 --> 0:29:02.560 But here's like a little mini mental health hack that 0:29:02.600 --> 0:29:05.240 you can do before you go inside after your little 0:29:05.240 --> 0:29:07.200 car time. I want you just to set the two 0:29:07.240 --> 0:29:10.280 minute timer where you pull into the driveway. I want 0:29:10.280 --> 0:29:11.880 you to put your phone face down and. 0:29:11.840 --> 0:29:13.000 I just want you to sit there. 0:29:13.600 --> 0:29:15.240 We just want you to like just sit there and 0:29:15.240 --> 0:29:17.240 if your brain's ticking away, just let it. But just 0:29:17.320 --> 0:29:20.959 let yourself have that time without any you know, stimulation, 0:29:21.280 --> 0:29:23.720 anything going on, so that you can then get yourself 0:29:23.760 --> 0:29:25.920 into the next role that you're about to step into. 0:29:26.000 --> 0:29:29.880 Because you know, we all have so many roles in 0:29:29.880 --> 0:29:32.760 our life. We are moms, we are carers, we are wives, 0:29:32.760 --> 0:29:35.680 we have so many things, and we never have like, 0:29:35.720 --> 0:29:38.640 when's the time we're just us? Where is a period 0:29:38.680 --> 0:29:40.760 of time during the day when we are just ourselves 0:29:41.640 --> 0:29:43.080 And that is when we're in the driver seat of 0:29:43.080 --> 0:29:47.040 our car, Because sadly, we don't feel like we're in 0:29:47.080 --> 0:29:50.040 the driver's seat of our life with how busy the 0:29:50.040 --> 0:29:52.440 world is, and we do need to just stop feeling 0:29:52.440 --> 0:29:54.240 guilty and take these moments for ourselves. 0:29:55.000 --> 0:29:56.040 And even science. 0:29:55.760 --> 0:29:58.520 Says the best way to transition over to the next 0:29:58.600 --> 0:30:02.960 role or just regulate is reducing sensory input and also 0:30:03.000 --> 0:30:05.520 give your vegus nerve a moment to reset, so a 0:30:05.560 --> 0:30:09.560 small space that's quiet, even just like ninety seconds just 0:30:09.600 --> 0:30:12.040 to shift over. That is called a micro reset, and 0:30:12.080 --> 0:30:14.040 that's what you need to do more of, just a 0:30:14.080 --> 0:30:16.120 quick pause if any of this stuff is hitting you. 0:30:16.360 --> 0:30:18.080 I go through all of this stuff in my book 0:30:18.080 --> 0:30:21.000 Mastering My Messy Life, and I talk about the Mum Guild. 0:30:21.040 --> 0:30:23.320 I talk about, you know, me becoming a mum for 0:30:23.360 --> 0:30:27.040 the first time and just realizing how I had this 0:30:27.160 --> 0:30:30.400 need for so much control and I didn't realize how 0:30:30.480 --> 0:30:32.280 much it was really affecting my mental health. 0:30:32.320 --> 0:30:33.160 So that's all in my book. 0:30:33.160 --> 0:30:35.240 You can grab it from your favorite bookstore or Amazon 0:30:35.320 --> 0:30:37.960 or anything like that. Now, this next point is kind 0:30:37.960 --> 0:30:40.000 of like a kind of a contradiction from the first, 0:30:40.000 --> 0:30:42.520 but in a different way, and that is I don't 0:30:42.560 --> 0:30:44.320 sit still to calm down. 0:30:44.760 --> 0:30:44.920 Now. 0:30:44.920 --> 0:30:47.440 I'm not talking about always, but a lot of the 0:30:47.520 --> 0:30:49.560 time when we have anxious energy. 0:30:49.880 --> 0:30:51.720 We need to move that now. 0:30:51.800 --> 0:30:54.000 Some people like to move it through being still and 0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:56.440 just like you know, relaxing and zending out. But for me, 0:30:56.600 --> 0:30:58.120 I tend to need to do things. 0:30:58.200 --> 0:30:58.480 Now. 0:30:58.920 --> 0:31:01.680 This is a little bit morbid, but when my dad 0:31:01.720 --> 0:31:05.160 and my Naan passed away, I just felt like I 0:31:05.200 --> 0:31:07.280 was sitting with so much pain. I couldn't bear to 0:31:07.320 --> 0:31:09.920 just sit there because I'd be thinking about everything and 0:31:09.920 --> 0:31:11.920 how much I miss them. So what I did was 0:31:12.160 --> 0:31:15.960 I got really into craft. So I was doing like embroidery. 0:31:16.040 --> 0:31:17.960 I was doing this paint by numbers, which I still 0:31:18.000 --> 0:31:20.080 haven't finished because I've only got the white bits left 0:31:20.160 --> 0:31:22.719 and that's not dope. Meine hitting that sucks. But I 0:31:22.800 --> 0:31:24.560 was doing that, so I had to be doing things. 0:31:25.480 --> 0:31:27.480 I read a lot of books because again it was 0:31:27.520 --> 0:31:29.160 like taking me somewhere else. So that was the only 0:31:29.200 --> 0:31:31.960 time I was probably very still. But when I say 0:31:32.040 --> 0:31:33.920 I don't sit still to calm down, I don't mean 0:31:33.960 --> 0:31:36.560 like I have to be running around sometimes definitely, like 0:31:36.600 --> 0:31:39.000 I'll get into that in a minute, but I need 0:31:39.040 --> 0:31:41.640 to kind of be doing something with my mind now. 0:31:41.760 --> 0:31:42.320 Last year I. 0:31:42.600 --> 0:31:44.719 Started learning to play guitar, and I love that and 0:31:44.720 --> 0:31:46.240 that was a really good one for me to be 0:31:46.240 --> 0:31:48.840 able to be focusing on something that's just fun and 0:31:48.880 --> 0:31:50.480 it's got nothing to do with work, nothing to do. 0:31:50.480 --> 0:31:53.360 With life, and it really is the type. 0:31:53.120 --> 0:31:55.520 Of rest I needed. And there is seven types of rest, 0:31:56.080 --> 0:31:58.040 and we need to be making sure we're doing each one, 0:31:58.400 --> 0:32:01.120 you know. And for me also, I love reading, I 0:32:01.160 --> 0:32:03.640 love guitar. I like playing Mario cart things like that 0:32:03.640 --> 0:32:05.760 that I just like. They call it like cozy gaming. 0:32:05.760 --> 0:32:08.160 There's all these cool games, like there's like Animal Crossing 0:32:08.240 --> 0:32:10.800 and things. I bought myself a Nintendo switch that my 0:32:10.920 --> 0:32:13.280 kids literally have stole. They're actually in the green room 0:32:13.360 --> 0:32:17.760 right now and they're playing the Nintendo switches. But yeah, 0:32:17.800 --> 0:32:20.440 my hands do need to move for my brain to 0:32:20.440 --> 0:32:23.400 be quiet. Now other things that need to be moved 0:32:23.560 --> 0:32:28.320 sometimes is offloading our thoughts that brings me to weird 0:32:28.400 --> 0:32:32.320 hack or weird things I do. Number seven and that 0:32:32.440 --> 0:32:35.640 is I put my feelings on paper not people. Now, 0:32:35.960 --> 0:32:37.920 it is so important to have people in your life 0:32:37.920 --> 0:32:39.880 that you trust, that you can confide in. And I'm 0:32:39.920 --> 0:32:42.840 not saying don't confide in anyone, don't talk to friends, 0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:45.840 because that is obviously so so important, Like therapy, all 0:32:45.880 --> 0:32:50.600 that stuff like talk therapy is insanely important, but sometimes 0:32:50.720 --> 0:32:52.720 we do need to go inwards. In order for us 0:32:52.720 --> 0:32:54.040 to go outwards, we need to be able to make 0:32:54.080 --> 0:32:57.960 sense of things ourselves. So before I spiral text a 0:32:58.040 --> 0:33:00.560 best friend who's already going through a hard time, or 0:33:00.960 --> 0:33:03.600 you know, offload something to a family member, I do 0:33:03.720 --> 0:33:06.480 open my journal first, because seventy cent of the time 0:33:06.760 --> 0:33:08.880 I just need to offload the thoughts in my head, 0:33:09.160 --> 0:33:12.880 not reply to another message, and also not later feel 0:33:13.000 --> 0:33:16.400 possibly guilty for maybe spiral texting a friend and going 0:33:16.400 --> 0:33:18.480 on a huge rant. Which, look, our friends are there 0:33:18.520 --> 0:33:20.760 for reasons, and they are there for those things, but 0:33:20.880 --> 0:33:23.240 sometimes it is good to just get it out yourself. 0:33:23.920 --> 0:33:27.120 And that also can really help your relationships, like for example, 0:33:27.840 --> 0:33:30.440 you know, as I mentioned before, like sometimes partners they 0:33:30.560 --> 0:33:32.320 like to fix things and you just want to be heard, 0:33:32.840 --> 0:33:35.080 and that's fine. But once you've made sense of like 0:33:35.160 --> 0:33:37.480 your thoughts on paper, you can then really be able 0:33:37.520 --> 0:33:39.200 to be in a state where you can communicate what 0:33:39.760 --> 0:33:41.960 you need from them. And then I feel like a 0:33:41.960 --> 0:33:44.080 lot of fights would be avoided between a lot of couples. 0:33:44.160 --> 0:33:46.240 And of course we've got the science. A psychologist from 0:33:46.360 --> 0:33:49.760 the University of Texas has been running expressive writing studies 0:33:49.760 --> 0:33:53.640 since the nineteen eighties, and his research found that just 0:33:53.760 --> 0:33:56.280 fifteen to twenty minutes of writing about what you're feeling 0:33:56.640 --> 0:34:01.120 four days in a row measurably reduces stracts, lowers blood pressure, 0:34:01.120 --> 0:34:04.400 and improves immune function. And it also even reduces doctor 0:34:04.480 --> 0:34:07.200 visits for the following six months, which is actually insane. 0:34:08.080 --> 0:34:12.120 That's good because like that shit costs money, and that's 0:34:12.120 --> 0:34:14.560 not journaling about your day. That's not a gratitude list. 0:34:14.640 --> 0:34:17.479 It's just writing the emotional, messy stuff that actually doesn't 0:34:17.520 --> 0:34:19.440 make sense, and it's just circuling in your head. Like 0:34:19.800 --> 0:34:22.600 it's just if you read it or someone else read it, 0:34:22.640 --> 0:34:25.479 they wouldn't even know what you're talking about. And that's 0:34:25.560 --> 0:34:28.399 just helping your brain get it out. And that's also 0:34:28.480 --> 0:34:31.680 cognitive offloading, so you're not carrying that mental load around anymore. 0:34:31.920 --> 0:34:34.640 Now here's how to know when to offload onto paper 0:34:34.800 --> 0:34:38.160 versus onto people. So it's paper first when you know 0:34:38.200 --> 0:34:40.560 it's circuling your brain at two am and you feel 0:34:40.560 --> 0:34:44.080 like you're starting to get quite negative and spiraling. It's 0:34:44.120 --> 0:34:46.120 also paper first when you've already told the same friend 0:34:46.200 --> 0:34:50.000 the same thing twice this week. It's a feeling about 0:34:50.000 --> 0:34:52.000 a person that you haven't slept on it yet, so 0:34:52.080 --> 0:34:54.839 you know that's again that can really affect your relationships. 0:34:54.880 --> 0:34:56.920 Maybe your friend said something that didn't sit right with 0:34:57.000 --> 0:34:59.320 you and you're really sitting on it, and instead of 0:34:59.440 --> 0:35:01.480 texting them and just kind of offloading it onto them 0:35:01.520 --> 0:35:04.319 without trying to understand it, first go to paper and 0:35:04.400 --> 0:35:06.799 usually by the morning you'll be feeling much better and 0:35:06.840 --> 0:35:09.319 also clearer away. If they have done something that has 0:35:09.400 --> 0:35:11.520 upset you, you will be able to communicate that much 0:35:11.520 --> 0:35:14.719 more clearly and not in a way that's like attacking them. 0:35:15.160 --> 0:35:18.359 And also turn to paper if you'd feel guilty later 0:35:18.440 --> 0:35:21.399 for dumping it, or you're about to send a text 0:35:21.440 --> 0:35:24.400 that you might regret, So just go to paper first 0:35:24.800 --> 0:35:26.879 with those things. And again, we need people, We need 0:35:26.880 --> 0:35:28.680 people in our life, we need our talk therapy, but 0:35:29.000 --> 0:35:31.000 sometimes it's better just to make sense of it yourself 0:35:31.040 --> 0:35:34.880 on paper. Now, go to people next. When you feel 0:35:34.880 --> 0:35:37.600 like you need a decision, not event. The thing is 0:35:37.640 --> 0:35:39.759 happening to more than just shoe. So something's going on 0:35:39.760 --> 0:35:41.960 and it's happening more than just shue, and you need 0:35:42.000 --> 0:35:44.720 to connect with somebody. Maybe you need to be witnessed 0:35:44.800 --> 0:35:47.520 or not just processed, and your journal already and it's 0:35:47.560 --> 0:35:49.799 making the thing bigger, not smaller, or you just are 0:35:49.840 --> 0:35:53.120 like ready to go to that next step and go 0:35:53.160 --> 0:35:56.279 to people if you need advice or if you just 0:35:56.320 --> 0:35:59.120 want that connection piece as well. Now, what I want 0:35:59.160 --> 0:36:00.239 you to do is I want you to keep a 0:36:00.280 --> 0:36:05.239 little bedside journal next to your bed obviously, and it 0:36:05.360 --> 0:36:07.640 just lives within arm's reach. So when the noise hits 0:36:07.680 --> 0:36:09.960 at night till my brain gets really really busy. So 0:36:10.040 --> 0:36:11.960 instead of going on your phone and scrolling and just 0:36:11.960 --> 0:36:13.799 like pushing it down and pushing it down, You're going 0:36:13.880 --> 0:36:16.640 to want you to let it out and don't worry 0:36:16.680 --> 0:36:18.440 about the spelling, don't worry about like what it looks like. 0:36:18.480 --> 0:36:19.839 If you're worried someone's going to read it, just rip 0:36:19.880 --> 0:36:21.200 it out and throw it in the bin and it's fine. 0:36:21.560 --> 0:36:23.080 And then by the end of it, I want you 0:36:23.120 --> 0:36:25.080 to ask yourself, do I still need to send that text? 0:36:25.200 --> 0:36:27.680 Do I need to still have that conversation? Because we 0:36:27.719 --> 0:36:30.799 need to remember, like paper is just so effective for 0:36:30.920 --> 0:36:33.360 you when your brain is spinning. Which also leads me 0:36:33.400 --> 0:36:36.160 to my last weird thing I do for my mental 0:36:36.200 --> 0:36:40.399 health is when my brain is spinning, I clean one thing. Now, 0:36:40.560 --> 0:36:43.000 have you ever caught yourself rage cleaning? You know when 0:36:43.040 --> 0:36:45.480 you get like maybe you're angry or like you annoyed 0:36:45.480 --> 0:36:47.520 with your family because they live in your house making 0:36:47.560 --> 0:36:49.320 a mess, and you start rage cleaning. And that's because 0:36:49.320 --> 0:36:51.319 you've got a lot of anxious energy you need to move. 0:36:51.400 --> 0:36:54.160 But it's also because you are feeling very much not 0:36:54.200 --> 0:36:56.200 in control of your life. So the thing that you 0:36:56.200 --> 0:36:59.000 can control is your environment. So we start to clean 0:36:59.040 --> 0:37:01.879 the house. Now, now maybe instead of cleaning the whole house, Like, look, 0:37:01.880 --> 0:37:03.400 go for it if you want to, but if I 0:37:03.480 --> 0:37:05.480 do that, I tend to be absolutely wrecked after and 0:37:05.520 --> 0:37:06.200 then I'm cranky. 0:37:06.760 --> 0:37:07.560 So when you start to. 0:37:07.480 --> 0:37:09.799 Feel that energy building up, I want you to pick 0:37:09.840 --> 0:37:11.640 one little thing. It could be a draw, it could 0:37:11.680 --> 0:37:15.279 be the spice rack, and just spend five minutes organizing it. 0:37:16.080 --> 0:37:18.960 Because what you find is you're probably in an overwhelmed phrase. 0:37:19.040 --> 0:37:21.560 It's like when everything feels urgent, so you don't know 0:37:21.560 --> 0:37:23.600 what to do with yourself, so you do something completely 0:37:23.680 --> 0:37:26.319 unrelated and you know at times it's not great for 0:37:26.400 --> 0:37:29.960 work and things, but action leads to more action. It's 0:37:30.040 --> 0:37:33.400 momentum building. You're building momentum by doing the thing. So 0:37:33.480 --> 0:37:36.160 if you go and do something that's unrelated like the spicetraw, 0:37:36.800 --> 0:37:39.000 you're going to see that you've accomplished something from start 0:37:39.000 --> 0:37:41.200 to end, and that's going to build self confidence as well. 0:37:41.640 --> 0:37:42.840 So not only you're getting. 0:37:42.640 --> 0:37:45.120 To move your anxious energy, you're also feeling like an 0:37:45.120 --> 0:37:47.680 accomplishment and an achievement, and you also kind of feel 0:37:47.680 --> 0:37:49.920 like you're in control of something in your life. And 0:37:49.960 --> 0:37:53.080 they actually call this behavioral activation, which is a therapy 0:37:53.120 --> 0:37:56.600 technique which has a massive evidence base for depression and 0:37:56.680 --> 0:38:00.000 overwhelm and it actually is their first line treatment, which 0:38:00.000 --> 0:38:02.920 WHI The research example they use is if clean the 0:38:03.000 --> 0:38:06.719 kitchen feels overwhelming, start with clean the counter. So action 0:38:06.840 --> 0:38:09.800 breaks the freeze and small action breaks it without triggering 0:38:09.840 --> 0:38:12.880 the avoidance response that do the whole thing creates. 0:38:12.920 --> 0:38:14.480 So whenever I've ever talked. 0:38:14.280 --> 0:38:17.759 About decluttering guys or organizing your house, I've always said it. 0:38:17.800 --> 0:38:20.680 I've said this for like nine years now. If you 0:38:20.719 --> 0:38:22.719 want to organize your house or declutter, I don't want 0:38:22.719 --> 0:38:24.040 you to think of the whole house. I want you 0:38:24.080 --> 0:38:26.799 to think of that draw, that table, that surface, and 0:38:26.840 --> 0:38:29.080 this is the exact same thing. Because if you're thinking 0:38:29.320 --> 0:38:32.120 of doing the whole massive house, like the big picture, 0:38:32.840 --> 0:38:35.040 that is overwhelming and you're not going to start anything. 0:38:35.280 --> 0:38:36.680 We don't have Marie Kondo. 0:38:36.480 --> 0:38:38.400 To come to a house and overhaul our house on 0:38:38.440 --> 0:38:40.719 the weekend. This is the same thing. We're breaking it 0:38:40.800 --> 0:38:44.360 up into a small, realistic step that creates movement and 0:38:44.400 --> 0:38:48.080 it creates you know, that dopamine as well. So instead 0:38:48.120 --> 0:38:50.640 of maybe feeling sad, you're suddenly feeling accomplished and that's 0:38:50.680 --> 0:38:53.840 going to move your energy. So when you're feeling frozen, 0:38:53.840 --> 0:38:55.680 I want you to ask yourself, what is the smallest 0:38:55.719 --> 0:38:58.560 thing I can do right now? Don't think what's important, 0:38:58.560 --> 0:39:00.520 what's productive. I want you to just think of something 0:39:00.560 --> 0:39:03.080 like very small that you know you'll feel better about. 0:39:03.360 --> 0:39:05.640 Because when you can't fix the big thing, fix the 0:39:05.680 --> 0:39:08.520 smallest thing, the smallest thing is allowed to count. Now, 0:39:08.560 --> 0:39:10.799 those are the things I do in my life that 0:39:10.920 --> 0:39:13.279 really help me and stop me from spiraling, which I 0:39:13.320 --> 0:39:13.840 still spiral. 0:39:13.960 --> 0:39:15.200 Let's be honest, I'm a human. 0:39:16.400 --> 0:39:19.239 But you don't always have to follow the path that 0:39:19.280 --> 0:39:21.160 you think is set for you and what everyone else 0:39:21.239 --> 0:39:23.600 is doing. That's my main message behind this if you 0:39:23.719 --> 0:39:26.759 feel like playing, like smashing someone in mariocart's going to 0:39:26.760 --> 0:39:28.040 make you feel better, go for it. 0:39:28.320 --> 0:39:29.359 There's no right or wrong. 0:39:29.400 --> 0:39:33.200 It's just about what works for you now, because at 0:39:33.200 --> 0:39:36.000 the end of the day, weird works if it makes 0:39:36.000 --> 0:39:39.640 you well, honestly, and we are all a little bit weird, 0:39:40.280 --> 0:39:42.839 so try something different. So I would love to hear 0:39:43.080 --> 0:39:46.040 like message me on Instagram or like, I love if 0:39:46.040 --> 0:39:47.560 you guys could leave me a review. I would love 0:39:47.600 --> 0:39:49.680 that as well. But let me know out of these 0:39:49.760 --> 0:39:51.680 what really resonated with you and what you're going to 0:39:51.719 --> 0:39:54.040 take away from this episode. Now, to wrap it up, 0:39:54.080 --> 0:39:56.839 I want you to pick one thing from this episode, 0:39:57.080 --> 0:39:59.440 one weird thing for your mental health, whether it is 0:40:00.040 --> 0:40:02.400 chucking on your headphones and ignoring your family or sitting 0:40:02.440 --> 0:40:05.759 in the car, pick one thing, and I would love 0:40:05.920 --> 0:40:07.440 love if you guys could send me a message on 0:40:07.480 --> 0:40:09.280 Instagram or even leave a review. 0:40:09.320 --> 0:40:11.359 It would be awesome. But let me know what you use. 0:40:11.600 --> 0:40:13.479 And if you haven't already, please subscribe to the show 0:40:13.520 --> 0:40:14.520 you were going to want to hear. 0:40:14.440 --> 0:40:17.040 Next week's episode and I will see you then. Bye.