1 00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,161 Speaker 1: Apogee Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashi 2 00:00:13,281 --> 00:00:16,881 Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana. This podcast is about female empowerment. 3 00:00:16,441 --> 00:00:19,160 Speaker 2: And encouraging you to be your biggest, boldest, and most 4 00:00:19,201 --> 00:00:20,800 Speaker 2: authentic version of yourself. 5 00:00:20,961 --> 00:00:23,320 Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level. 6 00:00:23,321 --> 00:00:26,241 Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone 7 00:00:26,281 --> 00:00:27,801 Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about. 8 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:31,561 Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self. Welcome back 9 00:00:31,561 --> 00:00:33,921 Speaker 2: to another episode of She Rises with your host Ashi 10 00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:37,721 Speaker 2: and Tiana. Today's episode is gonna all be about why 11 00:00:37,840 --> 00:00:41,281 Speaker 2: we fear rejection so damn much, what we can we 12 00:00:41,361 --> 00:00:43,920 Speaker 2: do about it to combat it, and how we in 13 00:00:43,961 --> 00:00:46,481 Speaker 2: the past have helped overcome this fear of rejection so 14 00:00:46,480 --> 00:00:49,441 Speaker 2: that we can really come into ourselves, our goals, and 15 00:00:49,561 --> 00:00:51,961 Speaker 2: actually start working towards things that we really want in life. 16 00:00:51,961 --> 00:00:52,521 Speaker 1: I love that. 17 00:00:52,681 --> 00:00:54,240 Speaker 2: But before we get into it and we have a 18 00:00:54,321 --> 00:00:56,560 Speaker 2: share of the week, Okay, see what's yours? 19 00:00:57,121 --> 00:01:01,841 Speaker 1: Mine is just some notes about emotions. If emotions could talk, 20 00:01:02,081 --> 00:01:04,961 Speaker 1: this is what they really mean. Underneath the initial reaction, 21 00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 1: oh anger, It's saying that something needs to change, something's 22 00:01:09,681 --> 00:01:13,200 Speaker 1: triggered you, and it's there for a reason. Jealousy This 23 00:01:13,360 --> 00:01:15,761 Speaker 1: is showing you what you really want. Let it inspire 24 00:01:15,801 --> 00:01:19,520 Speaker 1: you instead of consume you guilt. It's saying you did 25 00:01:19,560 --> 00:01:23,761 Speaker 1: something that doesn't match your values. You can change it. Fear, 26 00:01:23,961 --> 00:01:27,441 Speaker 1: your greatest strength is hiding here. Look closer, dig it deeper. 27 00:01:28,280 --> 00:01:30,560 Speaker 1: Shame if that arises for you, This is part of 28 00:01:30,601 --> 00:01:33,361 Speaker 1: you that needs some love and acceptance by you. If 29 00:01:33,401 --> 00:01:35,920 Speaker 1: you're frustrated, it means you're feeling stuck and that you 30 00:01:35,961 --> 00:01:39,280 Speaker 1: need to find a new way. Ooh, I love put 31 00:01:39,280 --> 00:01:40,920 Speaker 1: it in a bit more of a simple way. 32 00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:44,641 Speaker 2: Just yeah, to and verify, like what's actually happening? 33 00:01:44,761 --> 00:01:46,320 Speaker 1: Yes, underneath that, just that word. 34 00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,641 Speaker 2: I think awareness makes everything so much easier, Like when 35 00:01:49,641 --> 00:01:52,361 Speaker 2: you can understand yourself and what's kind of happening for you, 36 00:01:52,441 --> 00:01:53,841 Speaker 2: it makes it so much easier to deal with it. 37 00:01:53,921 --> 00:01:56,681 Speaker 1: Doesn't it. Love that thanks your turn? What's your share 38 00:01:56,681 --> 00:01:57,081 Speaker 1: of the week? 39 00:01:57,161 --> 00:01:59,641 Speaker 2: So mine is just very simple quote. It doesn't say 40 00:01:59,641 --> 00:02:02,081 Speaker 2: who it's from. It just says like unknown, but it 41 00:02:02,081 --> 00:02:05,441 Speaker 2: says a hungry stomach, an empty pocket, and a broken 42 00:02:05,481 --> 00:02:07,761 Speaker 2: heart can teach you some of the best lessons of life. 43 00:02:08,201 --> 00:02:13,321 Speaker 2: Oh and I liked this only because when we're going 44 00:02:13,401 --> 00:02:16,001 Speaker 2: through like our biggest challenges sometimes it feels like the 45 00:02:16,001 --> 00:02:19,001 Speaker 2: world is ending and it feels like I just want 46 00:02:19,041 --> 00:02:20,881 Speaker 2: to get out of this place so much, and I 47 00:02:20,921 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 2: relate to that because of like recently having gone through 48 00:02:23,441 --> 00:02:25,680 Speaker 2: like a heartbreak that really kind of like turned my 49 00:02:25,721 --> 00:02:29,481 Speaker 2: world upside down, and in that moment, I just wished 50 00:02:29,601 --> 00:02:31,561 Speaker 2: for me to get out of that space so much, 51 00:02:31,641 --> 00:02:33,041 Speaker 2: like I don't want to feel this anymore, don't want 52 00:02:33,041 --> 00:02:36,161 Speaker 2: to go through this without realizing that it honestly changed 53 00:02:36,161 --> 00:02:38,121 Speaker 2: me as a woman for the better, and I wouldn't 54 00:02:38,161 --> 00:02:39,921 Speaker 2: be who I am today without it because of the 55 00:02:40,001 --> 00:02:43,721 Speaker 2: very valuable lessons I learned, having to be heartbroken, having 56 00:02:43,761 --> 00:02:46,841 Speaker 2: to choose myself, having to leave somebody that I loved 57 00:02:46,841 --> 00:02:49,641 Speaker 2: and that I wanted to stay with. So I think, Yeah, 58 00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,441 Speaker 2: some of the hardest lessons in life are the biggest teachers. 59 00:02:52,960 --> 00:02:54,840 Speaker 2: And when you can be willing to see the lesson 60 00:02:54,881 --> 00:02:57,401 Speaker 2: as opposed to getting sucked into the hurt and the pain, 61 00:02:57,881 --> 00:02:59,521 Speaker 2: it will change you as a person for the better. 62 00:02:59,680 --> 00:03:03,361 Speaker 1: That's so true. It's always our rock bottoms, our biggest 63 00:03:03,641 --> 00:03:06,521 Speaker 1: challenges that teach us most, and in hindsight we look 64 00:03:06,601 --> 00:03:08,721 Speaker 1: back and go, Wow, wouldn't be here I am today. 65 00:03:08,721 --> 00:03:10,321 Speaker 1: I wouldn't have met this person and would have taken 66 00:03:10,361 --> 00:03:12,761 Speaker 1: that opportunity. I wouldn't have learned. It wouldn't be who 67 00:03:12,800 --> 00:03:15,521 Speaker 1: I am today if I didn't go through all of that. Absolutely, 68 00:03:15,601 --> 00:03:19,081 Speaker 1: like those low lows are where the biggest growth happens. 69 00:03:19,321 --> 00:03:21,761 Speaker 1: We go through the biggest transformations in that time. And 70 00:03:21,841 --> 00:03:24,641 Speaker 1: whilst we wouldn't wish those moments on our blest enemies 71 00:03:24,761 --> 00:03:27,081 Speaker 1: or ourselves to go through again or ourselves, that's right, 72 00:03:27,201 --> 00:03:28,840 Speaker 1: but they transform us for the better. 73 00:03:29,041 --> 00:03:31,361 Speaker 2: Yeah, because that's the moment we have the biggest growth. 74 00:03:31,481 --> 00:03:33,601 Speaker 1: That's very true. And in hindsight, we can all look 75 00:03:33,641 --> 00:03:35,801 Speaker 1: back on times we've gone through and you just know 76 00:03:35,841 --> 00:03:36,521 Speaker 1: you had to go through that. 77 00:03:36,601 --> 00:03:37,401 Speaker 2: Oh, you just had to. 78 00:03:37,601 --> 00:03:39,721 Speaker 1: It's preparing you for something bigger. Yeah, to make you 79 00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:41,481 Speaker 1: hold more, to help you be able to help others, 80 00:03:41,561 --> 00:03:43,921 Speaker 1: to help you see things in a different perspective. It's 81 00:03:43,961 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: really cool, absolutely all right. 82 00:03:45,481 --> 00:03:49,161 Speaker 2: Rejection, why is it the scariest It's a wound. We've 83 00:03:49,201 --> 00:03:51,041 Speaker 2: got a tid's there. 84 00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:54,641 Speaker 1: I don't know being rejected. I mean the first thing 85 00:03:54,681 --> 00:03:57,561 Speaker 1: I think about is being rejected means like you're out 86 00:03:57,561 --> 00:04:00,001 Speaker 1: of the tribe. Yeah, you're alone, You're not good enough. 87 00:04:00,041 --> 00:04:02,161 Speaker 1: It brings up all of your wounds. If someone rejects 88 00:04:02,201 --> 00:04:04,881 Speaker 1: you and doesn't want you, it's like all those old thoughts, 89 00:04:05,241 --> 00:04:07,401 Speaker 1: I'm not good enough, I'm not worthy enough, I'm too dumb, 90 00:04:07,441 --> 00:04:10,880 Speaker 1: I'm not pretty enough. Like all the insecurities arise because 91 00:04:10,921 --> 00:04:13,321 Speaker 1: you're trying to find a reason to understand why you 92 00:04:13,361 --> 00:04:15,801 Speaker 1: were rejected. Especially when you have no clothes. You just 93 00:04:15,881 --> 00:04:18,761 Speaker 1: jump to what you've always thought about yourself. So it's 94 00:04:18,761 --> 00:04:21,921 Speaker 1: scary and it's uncomfortable, and no one wants to be rejected. Yeah, 95 00:04:22,161 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: even though I do love the quote that rejection is 96 00:04:24,401 --> 00:04:26,921 Speaker 1: just redirection. When you're younger, I feel like you don't 97 00:04:26,961 --> 00:04:29,961 Speaker 1: really trust that, no, But as you get older, you know, 98 00:04:30,081 --> 00:04:32,361 Speaker 1: sometimes if someone's rejecting you, or if you didn't get 99 00:04:32,401 --> 00:04:34,681 Speaker 1: the job or something you go to plan, you know 100 00:04:34,681 --> 00:04:36,921 Speaker 1: it's because something better around the corner. But it's still 101 00:04:36,961 --> 00:04:40,801 Speaker 1: hard in the initial moment of like, oh I wasn't chosen, okay, 102 00:04:40,961 --> 00:04:42,401 Speaker 1: of course, can't build a swallow oh. 103 00:04:42,440 --> 00:04:45,721 Speaker 2: Absolutely. And also because that quote, I almost feel like 104 00:04:45,801 --> 00:04:47,481 Speaker 2: you need to have experienced it. 105 00:04:47,601 --> 00:04:49,601 Speaker 1: Yeah, for you to know that it's true evidence. 106 00:04:49,681 --> 00:04:52,481 Speaker 2: You know, because let's say, for example, you break up 107 00:04:52,521 --> 00:04:53,921 Speaker 2: with the person that you want to be with, and 108 00:04:53,961 --> 00:04:56,321 Speaker 2: then you find your life partner and you get married 109 00:04:56,361 --> 00:04:58,880 Speaker 2: and you have children. That would be evidence of like, okay, 110 00:04:59,001 --> 00:05:02,481 Speaker 2: rejection is redirection, but until you have that evidence, you're 111 00:05:02,521 --> 00:05:04,761 Speaker 2: kind of just like floating around like, oh, I hope 112 00:05:04,761 --> 00:05:07,721 Speaker 2: this is good. Yeah, kind of like winging and hoping 113 00:05:07,761 --> 00:05:10,681 Speaker 2: that yeah, something better is coming along while still having 114 00:05:10,761 --> 00:05:12,600 Speaker 2: to hold and navigate the wound that you feel. 115 00:05:12,681 --> 00:05:14,361 Speaker 1: Yes, I remember when I got fired from Value Girl 116 00:05:14,361 --> 00:05:16,241 Speaker 1: when I was younger, and if I didn't get fired 117 00:05:16,241 --> 00:05:17,721 Speaker 1: from Valley Girl, I wouldn't have gone on to do 118 00:05:17,761 --> 00:05:19,600 Speaker 1: my PT course. I never would have had the courage 119 00:05:19,601 --> 00:05:20,881 Speaker 1: to do. I would have stayed in that job because 120 00:05:20,880 --> 00:05:22,481 Speaker 1: it was my income, was how I was surviving and 121 00:05:22,481 --> 00:05:24,721 Speaker 1: paying my bills. Getting fired, I was like, fuck, what 122 00:05:24,721 --> 00:05:27,161 Speaker 1: am I gonna do now? He's like, perfect, here's the course, 123 00:05:27,201 --> 00:05:30,320 Speaker 1: off you go. Excellent. So that was a perfect moment 124 00:05:30,361 --> 00:05:33,201 Speaker 1: of me, Oh, I've been rejected here, I've been fired, 125 00:05:33,241 --> 00:05:35,161 Speaker 1: but it's redirecting me over here, and that's where I 126 00:05:35,201 --> 00:05:36,960 Speaker 1: was meant to go. Like I'd been kicked out at 127 00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,081 Speaker 1: home when I was sixteen, so I'd always had work 128 00:05:39,121 --> 00:05:41,200 Speaker 1: since I was thirteen. I'd always paid my way and 129 00:05:41,241 --> 00:05:44,721 Speaker 1: taken care of myself, looked after myself, and financially I 130 00:05:44,761 --> 00:05:46,321 Speaker 1: had to have my own back. So when I got 131 00:05:46,320 --> 00:05:49,041 Speaker 1: fired and lost that job, I was like, fuck, how 132 00:05:49,041 --> 00:05:51,721 Speaker 1: am I going to pay my bills? And I just 133 00:05:51,761 --> 00:05:53,440 Speaker 1: saved up enough money to buy a car, and a 134 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,440 Speaker 1: week later that car blew up, so I no longer 135 00:05:55,481 --> 00:05:58,161 Speaker 1: had transport. I'd lost my job. I'd just moved in 136 00:05:58,201 --> 00:06:01,001 Speaker 1: with Steve, and I felt so unstable, yeah, and so 137 00:06:01,241 --> 00:06:04,681 Speaker 1: lost and so alone yet again, you know, as a 138 00:06:04,681 --> 00:06:06,441 Speaker 1: young team. I was like, fuck, I just feel like 139 00:06:06,481 --> 00:06:08,720 Speaker 1: a failure. Everything I'm doing is breaking and not working. 140 00:06:09,201 --> 00:06:10,801 Speaker 1: I felt like I was getting rejected everywhere. 141 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:13,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, so that like broke me was just one area, 142 00:06:13,880 --> 00:06:15,561 Speaker 2: was multi no once, but. 143 00:06:15,561 --> 00:06:17,881 Speaker 1: It was like the universe was forcing me to grow 144 00:06:17,961 --> 00:06:20,081 Speaker 1: and forcing me to go and do something that I 145 00:06:20,121 --> 00:06:22,640 Speaker 1: always believe the universe has tends ups ahead of us. Yeah. 146 00:06:22,681 --> 00:06:25,281 Speaker 1: So I feel like our plans already laid out for us, 147 00:06:25,320 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 1: and that was my plan to go and be apt 148 00:06:27,121 --> 00:06:29,361 Speaker 1: and help women and I wouldn't be here talking today. 149 00:06:29,641 --> 00:06:31,640 Speaker 1: But I didn't go through all of that because every rejection, 150 00:06:31,761 --> 00:06:33,960 Speaker 1: every different path I've taken, every business that I've closed, 151 00:06:34,001 --> 00:06:35,801 Speaker 1: down or started again. Has led me to just be 152 00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,400 Speaker 1: here today during sit rises. I love that, but you 153 00:06:38,440 --> 00:06:41,001 Speaker 1: have to trust in that. Younger I didn't trust and 154 00:06:41,041 --> 00:06:42,841 Speaker 1: I was like, what the fuck the universe is against me? 155 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,721 Speaker 1: I'm always so unlucky. This happens because I'm not good enough. 156 00:06:46,001 --> 00:06:48,721 Speaker 1: Is that a bad childhood? Bah blah blah, victim, victim, victim. 157 00:06:49,440 --> 00:06:51,361 Speaker 1: But when you're in the energy too, you keep attracting 158 00:06:51,361 --> 00:06:53,561 Speaker 1: more of that. So true. Oh my god, I'm making 159 00:06:53,601 --> 00:06:56,080 Speaker 1: this for myself right. Yeah. It's like if you start 160 00:06:56,081 --> 00:06:57,521 Speaker 1: your day off and you know, you can trip over 161 00:06:57,561 --> 00:06:59,121 Speaker 1: something on the floor and you're like, oh, fuck my toe, 162 00:06:59,121 --> 00:07:00,841 Speaker 1: and then you spill your coffee and it'say, oh fuck. 163 00:07:01,281 --> 00:07:03,241 Speaker 1: You get this energy of fuck. All this shit keeps 164 00:07:03,281 --> 00:07:06,041 Speaker 1: happening because you're attracting it. Stop and take your breath 165 00:07:06,081 --> 00:07:08,080 Speaker 1: and smell the fucking fresh air. Be grateful for what 166 00:07:08,121 --> 00:07:10,720 Speaker 1: you've got. Bet your day will turn around. 167 00:07:10,881 --> 00:07:12,481 Speaker 2: That happened to me the other on the weekend. 168 00:07:12,761 --> 00:07:15,841 Speaker 1: Oh yeah me, Oh my god, I got your period. 169 00:07:16,121 --> 00:07:17,681 Speaker 1: I got so I was bad news. 170 00:07:18,321 --> 00:07:21,081 Speaker 2: Yeah, confronted with something that was like super heavy. So 171 00:07:21,161 --> 00:07:22,401 Speaker 2: I was crying about that. 172 00:07:22,401 --> 00:07:23,881 Speaker 1: That was the first thing that was the first. 173 00:07:23,721 --> 00:07:25,841 Speaker 2: Thing, and then I was just in a foul mood 174 00:07:25,881 --> 00:07:28,441 Speaker 2: after that. And then the second thing, my nephew literally 175 00:07:28,521 --> 00:07:29,961 Speaker 2: head butt me straight in. 176 00:07:29,921 --> 00:07:31,481 Speaker 1: The nose and I bumped it. 177 00:07:31,641 --> 00:07:33,921 Speaker 2: I had like a bruise and everything, Oh my gosh. 178 00:07:34,001 --> 00:07:34,681 Speaker 1: And I was just. 179 00:07:34,761 --> 00:07:35,961 Speaker 2: Bawling my eyes out. 180 00:07:36,041 --> 00:07:37,401 Speaker 1: And then you got your period and then I got 181 00:07:37,401 --> 00:07:38,721 Speaker 1: my period and I was just oh my god. It 182 00:07:38,721 --> 00:07:39,681 Speaker 1: was a mess. But yeah, it is. 183 00:07:39,761 --> 00:07:41,401 Speaker 2: When you're in that energy, you were so much more 184 00:07:41,401 --> 00:07:44,681 Speaker 2: prone to that negative frequency. Yes, you definitely do attract 185 00:07:44,761 --> 00:07:45,601 Speaker 2: more of it. Yeah. 186 00:07:45,761 --> 00:07:49,481 Speaker 1: Same with a friendship ending, like devastating. I felt so 187 00:07:49,601 --> 00:07:53,001 Speaker 1: rejected and not chosen and no closure. And then around 188 00:07:53,041 --> 00:07:55,281 Speaker 1: the same time that's happening, I met you, and I 189 00:07:55,281 --> 00:07:58,201 Speaker 1: was like, wow, if that friendship hadn't ended, maybe I 190 00:07:58,201 --> 00:08:00,761 Speaker 1: wouldn't have been as open to meeting you. Yeah, but 191 00:08:00,801 --> 00:08:03,801 Speaker 1: that rejection was redirected me to someone who was more aligned, 192 00:08:03,841 --> 00:08:06,041 Speaker 1: who could love all of me, could hold all of me, 193 00:08:06,481 --> 00:08:09,161 Speaker 1: and look where we are now. Yeah, so it's more evidence. 194 00:08:09,321 --> 00:08:11,041 Speaker 1: But you're right, I have had a lot of evidence 195 00:08:11,041 --> 00:08:12,681 Speaker 1: and I do really trust in that that now when 196 00:08:12,721 --> 00:08:16,081 Speaker 1: shit happens from like some beds coming Yeah, but what 197 00:08:16,121 --> 00:08:18,401 Speaker 1: it is, Yeah, what it is when it's coming and 198 00:08:18,521 --> 00:08:20,401 Speaker 1: a buckle my sick bed in and hold on tied 199 00:08:20,481 --> 00:08:21,561 Speaker 1: and enjoy the ride. 200 00:08:22,241 --> 00:08:24,041 Speaker 2: When I think of rejection, the first thing I think 201 00:08:24,041 --> 00:08:26,881 Speaker 2: of is like what you mentioned, not being accepted or 202 00:08:26,921 --> 00:08:30,201 Speaker 2: not no longer belonging where I want to belong. And 203 00:08:30,241 --> 00:08:33,601 Speaker 2: for me, that's been in friendship circles or being chosen 204 00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:36,201 Speaker 2: by an intimate partner or something like that. And so 205 00:08:36,281 --> 00:08:39,481 Speaker 2: for me, I feel like that fear of rejection really 206 00:08:39,521 --> 00:08:42,201 Speaker 2: showed up for me growing up when I was really 207 00:08:42,241 --> 00:08:46,001 Speaker 2: a chameleon in friendships trying to figure out still who 208 00:08:46,081 --> 00:08:48,841 Speaker 2: I was as a young girl and where I fit in, 209 00:08:48,921 --> 00:08:50,841 Speaker 2: you know. So it's like I try on different hats 210 00:08:50,841 --> 00:08:53,081 Speaker 2: in different friend groups because I'd be like, okay, well 211 00:08:53,321 --> 00:08:55,601 Speaker 2: these people behave like this, so in order for me 212 00:08:55,641 --> 00:08:57,681 Speaker 2: to be accepted here, I have to behave like them. 213 00:08:57,681 --> 00:09:00,201 Speaker 2: So the party girls or the party girls, or like 214 00:09:00,241 --> 00:09:02,321 Speaker 2: the little bit like I've been in friendship groups who 215 00:09:02,321 --> 00:09:04,361 Speaker 2: were like a little bit more mean, and I tried 216 00:09:04,401 --> 00:09:06,881 Speaker 2: to fit like the mean how to like not nonchalant, 217 00:09:06,881 --> 00:09:09,081 Speaker 2: not giving a fuck in my ego, and I tried 218 00:09:09,081 --> 00:09:11,161 Speaker 2: to kind of fit the glove that they were wearing too, 219 00:09:11,241 --> 00:09:13,601 Speaker 2: and I just realized that it wasn't me. And the 220 00:09:13,681 --> 00:09:15,561 Speaker 2: interesting thing about that is when I came out of 221 00:09:15,601 --> 00:09:18,841 Speaker 2: that friendship group, I actually had people comment on social 222 00:09:18,841 --> 00:09:21,841 Speaker 2: media send me messages being like, you are so different 223 00:09:21,881 --> 00:09:23,601 Speaker 2: now that you're not friends with them. Wow, Like I 224 00:09:23,681 --> 00:09:25,921 Speaker 2: love the way that you've softened since being friends with 225 00:09:25,961 --> 00:09:29,201 Speaker 2: these people, And I was like, Wow, that's crazy. It's 226 00:09:29,201 --> 00:09:31,001 Speaker 2: cool to have that reflection. 227 00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:32,561 Speaker 1: And for other people to feel I've had that the 228 00:09:32,681 --> 00:09:35,001 Speaker 1: last twelve months too, when people say like, oh, you've changed, 229 00:09:35,041 --> 00:09:37,241 Speaker 1: You've got this different or about you, or you've softened. 230 00:09:37,561 --> 00:09:39,721 Speaker 1: Kind of my old high school girlfriend say the other day, 231 00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:41,881 Speaker 1: she's like, I don't know what's happened, but this last 232 00:09:41,881 --> 00:09:44,081 Speaker 1: twelve months, you've just softened so much. Oh, that's such 233 00:09:44,081 --> 00:09:45,961 Speaker 1: a beaut of It's been so cool to like, she goes, 234 00:09:45,961 --> 00:09:47,801 Speaker 1: I'm so much more drawn to your energy and what 235 00:09:47,841 --> 00:09:50,361 Speaker 1: you say now. Yes, because of this energy that you 236 00:09:50,361 --> 00:09:51,041 Speaker 1: have around you. 237 00:09:51,121 --> 00:09:54,041 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so nice. It's a cool reflection to have that. 238 00:09:54,641 --> 00:09:57,281 Speaker 2: But it just goes to show how willing we are 239 00:09:57,441 --> 00:10:01,721 Speaker 2: to abandon ourselves to fit into places. Because when the 240 00:10:01,761 --> 00:10:03,761 Speaker 2: fear of rejection for me at least, has been in 241 00:10:03,761 --> 00:10:05,921 Speaker 2: the forefront I didn't really care care about what I 242 00:10:06,001 --> 00:10:07,841 Speaker 2: was doing, how I was showing up. I just wanted 243 00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:10,961 Speaker 2: to be accepted. Yeah, I just wanted to be included, loved, 244 00:10:11,481 --> 00:10:13,241 Speaker 2: felt like I belonged somewhere in the world. 245 00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:16,321 Speaker 1: No one wants to be alone, right, We're primarily made 246 00:10:16,321 --> 00:10:17,201 Speaker 1: to be in a tribe. 247 00:10:17,281 --> 00:10:19,521 Speaker 2: Oh absolutely, yeah, But like I feel like sometimes when 248 00:10:19,561 --> 00:10:21,841 Speaker 2: you're in it, you don't realize to the level that 249 00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:24,041 Speaker 2: you're doing it. So true, you know, I feel like 250 00:10:24,041 --> 00:10:26,881 Speaker 2: it's always in hindsight where you look back and go, wow, 251 00:10:26,921 --> 00:10:30,001 Speaker 2: that was not me, or like Sam Tiana, like you 252 00:10:30,001 --> 00:10:33,801 Speaker 2: were really a chameleon. Then yeah, you know. So the 253 00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:37,121 Speaker 2: interesting part about rejection though, when it comes to anything 254 00:10:37,121 --> 00:10:39,241 Speaker 2: in life, you have to be willing to be rejected 255 00:10:39,281 --> 00:10:40,001 Speaker 2: to get what you want. 256 00:10:40,121 --> 00:10:40,841 Speaker 1: It so true. 257 00:10:41,001 --> 00:10:42,681 Speaker 2: The way that this makes sense in my head is 258 00:10:42,681 --> 00:10:45,001 Speaker 2: putting it in like a relationship standpoint or even a 259 00:10:45,041 --> 00:10:47,961 Speaker 2: friendship standpoint, where if you don't put yourself out there 260 00:10:48,001 --> 00:10:50,841 Speaker 2: to begin with, you're not going to be rejected. You 261 00:10:50,881 --> 00:10:53,721 Speaker 2: may protect yourself from the fear of rejection, but you 262 00:10:53,721 --> 00:10:57,160 Speaker 2: don't even put yourself in front of the opportunity of love. 263 00:10:57,001 --> 00:10:58,681 Speaker 1: It's going to miss out on the questions. 264 00:10:58,761 --> 00:11:01,601 Speaker 2: Yeah, the fear stops you from even trying or even 265 00:11:01,921 --> 00:11:03,921 Speaker 2: taking one step. And that applies to business too. 266 00:11:04,161 --> 00:11:04,401 Speaker 1: Yeah. 267 00:11:04,521 --> 00:11:08,321 Speaker 2: How many times to people, and myself included stop myself 268 00:11:08,521 --> 00:11:10,881 Speaker 2: in the past of stop myself from going after something 269 00:11:10,921 --> 00:11:13,201 Speaker 2: I wanted because the fear in my head was so 270 00:11:13,281 --> 00:11:16,561 Speaker 2: much bigger. Fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of 271 00:11:17,121 --> 00:11:19,801 Speaker 2: not being good enough was like in the forefront of 272 00:11:19,801 --> 00:11:22,161 Speaker 2: my mind instead of actually just taking the leap and 273 00:11:22,441 --> 00:11:23,841 Speaker 2: fucking around and finding out. 274 00:11:24,481 --> 00:11:28,561 Speaker 1: Will we do anything to avoid pain and to gain pleasure? Yeah, 275 00:11:28,601 --> 00:11:32,361 Speaker 1: So not putting yourself out there you are avoiding pain, 276 00:11:32,441 --> 00:11:35,521 Speaker 1: but then you're also not getting pleasure, and you're also 277 00:11:35,601 --> 00:11:37,401 Speaker 1: in pain because you're not getting connection, which is what 278 00:11:37,441 --> 00:11:39,601 Speaker 1: you want. It's like a double sort it is, isn't it. 279 00:11:39,601 --> 00:11:42,641 Speaker 2: It's a ledged sword because you're avoiding pain but creating pain. 280 00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:46,281 Speaker 1: Yes, you're not getting pleasure from not putting yourself out there. Oh, 281 00:11:46,321 --> 00:11:48,761 Speaker 1: which causes more pain. There's such a paradox, isn't it. 282 00:11:48,801 --> 00:11:49,201 Speaker 1: Isn't it? 283 00:11:49,201 --> 00:11:50,321 Speaker 2: It's such an interesting thing. 284 00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:54,801 Speaker 1: I've heard you talk about rejection therapy. Yes, what can 285 00:11:54,841 --> 00:11:56,681 Speaker 1: you talk about this more? Because it's something I haven't 286 00:11:56,681 --> 00:11:58,561 Speaker 1: ever done. Before, but I think I remember you're showing 287 00:11:58,561 --> 00:12:00,721 Speaker 1: me someone on socials that was doing like a challenge 288 00:12:00,801 --> 00:12:01,161 Speaker 1: or something. 289 00:12:01,361 --> 00:12:04,361 Speaker 2: Yes, yeah, so I saw this girl do it and 290 00:12:04,401 --> 00:12:09,001 Speaker 2: it's like reject therapy kind of challenge and it would 291 00:12:09,081 --> 00:12:11,161 Speaker 2: go for like thirty days or something like that. And 292 00:12:11,201 --> 00:12:13,681 Speaker 2: this woman she posted all of these different videos and 293 00:12:13,721 --> 00:12:16,441 Speaker 2: she vlogged the whole way. So every single day she 294 00:12:16,681 --> 00:12:19,441 Speaker 2: wrote down a list and set herself a task, one 295 00:12:19,481 --> 00:12:21,961 Speaker 2: different thing every day where she would have to put 296 00:12:22,001 --> 00:12:25,041 Speaker 2: herself out there in a way that felt really uncomfortable 297 00:12:25,081 --> 00:12:27,961 Speaker 2: where she may be rejected. So say, for example, would 298 00:12:27,961 --> 00:12:29,761 Speaker 2: be really silly things like she would go to like 299 00:12:29,801 --> 00:12:33,121 Speaker 2: a fire station, yah and like ask the fireman if 300 00:12:33,201 --> 00:12:36,681 Speaker 2: she can put on their suit, or or she would 301 00:12:36,721 --> 00:12:39,521 Speaker 2: ask a random if a random would come and sit 302 00:12:39,561 --> 00:12:41,561 Speaker 2: and have coffee with her, like say like some girl 303 00:12:41,601 --> 00:12:44,081 Speaker 2: who looked her age whatever, Hey, would you want to 304 00:12:44,081 --> 00:12:45,801 Speaker 2: come and sit and have coffee with me? I'll buy 305 00:12:45,841 --> 00:12:47,521 Speaker 2: you a coffee? Would you let me do that for you? 306 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:49,881 Speaker 2: And she would go and then she would hey, can 307 00:12:49,921 --> 00:12:52,401 Speaker 2: I pay for your groceries? Like all these different things 308 00:12:52,441 --> 00:12:55,161 Speaker 2: that really pushed her outside of her comfort zone where 309 00:12:55,201 --> 00:12:58,601 Speaker 2: she was forced to be faced with the feeling of rejection. 310 00:12:58,361 --> 00:13:00,641 Speaker 1: Because I'm guessing she got rejected quite a bit, because 311 00:13:00,641 --> 00:13:01,681 Speaker 1: she got rejected quite a bit. 312 00:13:01,761 --> 00:13:04,041 Speaker 2: And the purpose of it is the more that you 313 00:13:04,081 --> 00:13:07,361 Speaker 2: get yourself in front of her rejection, the less overwhelming 314 00:13:07,401 --> 00:13:09,761 Speaker 2: it feels when you get rejected. So you almost build 315 00:13:09,761 --> 00:13:12,201 Speaker 2: like a tolerance to that feeling of rejection because you go, well, 316 00:13:12,201 --> 00:13:13,801 Speaker 2: oh my god, I did this scary thing, but I 317 00:13:13,801 --> 00:13:14,481 Speaker 2: didn't die. 318 00:13:14,761 --> 00:13:18,481 Speaker 1: Yes, exposure therapy exposure therapy in it a cold therapy, 319 00:13:18,561 --> 00:13:20,041 Speaker 1: but that if days in a row, the first day 320 00:13:20,081 --> 00:13:21,321 Speaker 1: is going to feel the hardest. The last da you're 321 00:13:21,321 --> 00:13:23,041 Speaker 1: probably gonna be like, I'm pretty used to this thing. That's right. 322 00:13:23,081 --> 00:13:24,921 Speaker 2: Same thing with posting on social media. The first day 323 00:13:25,001 --> 00:13:27,401 Speaker 2: is the most terrifying thing in the world. After three months, 324 00:13:27,441 --> 00:13:28,881 Speaker 2: you like doing it with your eyes closed, like you're 325 00:13:28,881 --> 00:13:31,961 Speaker 2: brushing your teeth. It's the same thing. Or even having 326 00:13:32,041 --> 00:13:35,161 Speaker 2: hard conversations, same thing. When you first have them. You 327 00:13:35,201 --> 00:13:36,401 Speaker 2: want to literally throw up. 328 00:13:36,601 --> 00:13:38,921 Speaker 1: Yes, it's so true. You want to throw out. 329 00:13:38,961 --> 00:13:42,121 Speaker 2: Your palms are sweating. You're scared of the verbal diarrhea 330 00:13:42,161 --> 00:13:45,921 Speaker 2: that you're going to a feral diarrhea kind of of 331 00:13:46,081 --> 00:13:47,961 Speaker 2: what's going to come out of your mouth because it's 332 00:13:47,961 --> 00:13:50,321 Speaker 2: so suppressed you don't know what you're going to say. 333 00:13:50,601 --> 00:13:53,441 Speaker 2: But then after you've done it a few times, eight 334 00:13:53,481 --> 00:13:55,561 Speaker 2: weeks down the line, you're like, oh my god, this 335 00:13:55,641 --> 00:13:58,721 Speaker 2: is like just any other conversation. Yeah, this doesn't feel 336 00:13:58,721 --> 00:14:01,081 Speaker 2: as I mean, obviously it's still scary, but it doesn't 337 00:14:01,121 --> 00:14:03,041 Speaker 2: feel as hard because you get better at it. And 338 00:14:03,481 --> 00:14:06,041 Speaker 2: the whole point of this, like rejection therapy, no matter 339 00:14:06,081 --> 00:14:09,041 Speaker 2: what it is, that your goal is relationship, putting yourself 340 00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:12,801 Speaker 2: out there dating more, building friends, building a business, whatever 341 00:14:12,841 --> 00:14:16,321 Speaker 2: it is, put yourself in front of that thing as 342 00:14:16,361 --> 00:14:19,161 Speaker 2: many times as you can in the shortest period possible. 343 00:14:19,201 --> 00:14:21,241 Speaker 2: That's cool because you will overcome the feat in like 344 00:14:21,321 --> 00:14:23,561 Speaker 2: seven days. Imagine how you feel in seven days time 345 00:14:23,561 --> 00:14:25,121 Speaker 2: if you're like, oh my god, what was they even 346 00:14:25,161 --> 00:14:25,841 Speaker 2: worried about. 347 00:14:26,361 --> 00:14:28,601 Speaker 1: I remember Stephen Megsie did this course. It was called 348 00:14:28,601 --> 00:14:31,441 Speaker 1: the Breach by Appreston a Lexi. They're from Austin in 349 00:14:31,521 --> 00:14:33,881 Speaker 1: America and they come over and do it. And that 350 00:14:34,041 --> 00:14:35,521 Speaker 1: was one of the things they had to do was 351 00:14:35,561 --> 00:14:37,601 Speaker 1: go out in public and I think Megsi had to sing, 352 00:14:38,041 --> 00:14:41,201 Speaker 1: oh in the middle of service Paradise, I'm go and 353 00:14:41,241 --> 00:14:45,201 Speaker 1: I can't remember what Stave's task was, something really quote 354 00:14:45,281 --> 00:14:48,681 Speaker 1: unquote embarrassing they had to get rejected for. And yeah, 355 00:14:48,721 --> 00:14:50,161 Speaker 1: I was like, wow, that's really cool. And then when 356 00:14:50,161 --> 00:14:51,641 Speaker 1: they were telling me about it, I was like, ooh, 357 00:14:52,161 --> 00:14:53,521 Speaker 1: I would feel so nervous doing that. 358 00:14:53,561 --> 00:14:56,081 Speaker 2: I just had an idea, Well, should we do a 359 00:14:56,121 --> 00:14:57,881 Speaker 2: rejection therapy series? 360 00:14:58,001 --> 00:15:00,201 Speaker 1: We could on social media? Oh my gosho'ld be funny, 361 00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:02,241 Speaker 1: even if it was like fourteen days or something, so 362 00:15:02,321 --> 00:15:03,841 Speaker 1: each day we both have to go out and public 363 00:15:03,881 --> 00:15:08,121 Speaker 1: and get rejected. Yeah, okay, now I'm scared. We should though, 364 00:15:08,201 --> 00:15:08,761 Speaker 1: that'd be funny. 365 00:15:08,761 --> 00:15:10,961 Speaker 2: It'd be cool to like showcase this. Yeah, would you 366 00:15:11,001 --> 00:15:12,121 Speaker 2: guys follow along if we did? 367 00:15:12,201 --> 00:15:14,521 Speaker 1: Oh my god, let us know. That'd be so cool. Yeah. 368 00:15:14,641 --> 00:15:16,841 Speaker 2: Done, I'm scared, But like, what would we have each 369 00:15:16,841 --> 00:15:18,881 Speaker 2: other do though? Anything that comes to mind? 370 00:15:19,041 --> 00:15:21,201 Speaker 1: Yeah? Do we both come up with each others? Yes? 371 00:15:21,921 --> 00:15:23,561 Speaker 2: Oh my god, I reckon. You'd make me ask men 372 00:15:23,601 --> 00:15:25,041 Speaker 2: out just because I don't like doing it. 373 00:15:26,241 --> 00:15:28,481 Speaker 1: No, I probably wouldn't do that because I feel like 374 00:15:28,481 --> 00:15:32,361 Speaker 1: the inductress would be like, okay, I got this, hey boy, fair, 375 00:15:34,921 --> 00:15:36,441 Speaker 1: and I feel like you would be able to do 376 00:15:36,521 --> 00:15:38,601 Speaker 1: that you want to do things that you're out of 377 00:15:38,641 --> 00:15:39,001 Speaker 1: the norm. 378 00:15:39,241 --> 00:15:41,121 Speaker 2: Yes, but I also don't ask men out, so no, 379 00:15:41,401 --> 00:15:42,361 Speaker 2: that feels out of the norm. 380 00:15:42,641 --> 00:15:44,681 Speaker 1: Yeah, but I think Tatiana could do it. 381 00:15:45,881 --> 00:15:48,721 Speaker 2: You're like more intense, or we're gonna have to go 382 00:15:48,721 --> 00:15:51,281 Speaker 2: into a fire station. Almost asked to slide down the pole. 383 00:15:53,361 --> 00:15:57,761 Speaker 1: I'd be like, sure, girls, go ahead. I don't think 384 00:15:57,801 --> 00:16:00,401 Speaker 1: they would reject us for that. Oh my gosh, we 385 00:16:00,401 --> 00:16:00,841 Speaker 1: definitely can't. 386 00:16:00,961 --> 00:16:04,561 Speaker 2: Some ideas, yeah, Or you guys want to send us 387 00:16:04,601 --> 00:16:06,641 Speaker 2: a d M anything that you think that we should do. 388 00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:07,521 Speaker 1: That's a good idea. 389 00:16:07,681 --> 00:16:11,521 Speaker 2: Maybe we should make get them you guys, yes, Oh 390 00:16:11,561 --> 00:16:12,241 Speaker 2: that scares me. 391 00:16:12,401 --> 00:16:15,241 Speaker 1: Okay, so if you're in our forum, she rises, come 392 00:16:15,281 --> 00:16:17,481 Speaker 1: in there and let us know. What are some things 393 00:16:17,481 --> 00:16:20,681 Speaker 1: we could do to face rejection? Yes, but situations that 394 00:16:20,721 --> 00:16:22,761 Speaker 1: we have to put ourselves in, Like it has to 395 00:16:22,801 --> 00:16:24,641 Speaker 1: be an edge though, and we have to do it 396 00:16:24,721 --> 00:16:27,401 Speaker 1: separately because together I feel comfort. 397 00:16:29,121 --> 00:16:31,361 Speaker 2: We can ours. We'll see what everyone says. Maybe you 398 00:16:31,401 --> 00:16:33,041 Speaker 2: guys can suggest do you think that we should do 399 00:16:33,081 --> 00:16:34,641 Speaker 2: it on our own or do you think we should 400 00:16:34,641 --> 00:16:35,121 Speaker 2: do it together? 401 00:16:35,161 --> 00:16:37,441 Speaker 1: Because it could be me new singing a Brittany speed 402 00:16:37,441 --> 00:16:39,481 Speaker 1: song together. They be litle steps paradise. Can you imagine 403 00:16:39,601 --> 00:16:43,641 Speaker 1: choreograph dance? Oh my god, this is going to be hard. 404 00:16:43,841 --> 00:16:45,081 Speaker 1: Is going to feel resistance. 405 00:16:45,161 --> 00:16:48,521 Speaker 2: I feel challenged me too, just thinking about is my idea? Okay, 406 00:16:48,761 --> 00:16:50,721 Speaker 2: don't know what you guys are gonna set for us, though. 407 00:16:50,601 --> 00:16:53,561 Speaker 1: I know I'm scared. We'll see what you guys come 408 00:16:53,601 --> 00:16:56,161 Speaker 1: through with. Even OSK steve to give us some ideas. Yeah, 409 00:16:56,721 --> 00:16:58,641 Speaker 1: makes you probably good for this too. Okay, done, you 410 00:16:58,641 --> 00:17:00,361 Speaker 1: give us some Oh my god, we'll gather our charge 411 00:17:00,361 --> 00:17:04,001 Speaker 1: of BOUTI. Okay. Done. 412 00:17:04,281 --> 00:17:07,160 Speaker 2: Sounds good coming back into like the actual rejection therapy 413 00:17:07,201 --> 00:17:09,480 Speaker 2: and like how to actually overcome it. I feel like 414 00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:14,000 Speaker 2: rejection only feels bad when you attach negative meaning to it. 415 00:17:14,281 --> 00:17:14,640 Speaker 1: Okay. 416 00:17:14,921 --> 00:17:18,681 Speaker 2: So let's say, for example, when you know, maybe there's 417 00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:21,080 Speaker 2: a man that you like, and you're like, oh, I 418 00:17:21,120 --> 00:17:22,321 Speaker 2: want to ask him out or I want to talk 419 00:17:22,321 --> 00:17:24,480 Speaker 2: to him, and then he's not as receptive or he 420 00:17:24,521 --> 00:17:27,561 Speaker 2: doesn't like he's not interested in you in that way, 421 00:17:27,600 --> 00:17:30,001 Speaker 2: it will become a really heavy thing when you start 422 00:17:30,041 --> 00:17:31,480 Speaker 2: to make it mean that you're not good enough as 423 00:17:31,481 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 2: a woman. 424 00:17:32,521 --> 00:17:35,361 Speaker 1: Yeah, true, as opposed to like the meaning you're attached 425 00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:36,041 Speaker 1: to the situation. 426 00:17:36,120 --> 00:17:38,481 Speaker 2: Yeah, the opinion that you attached to the situation, because 427 00:17:38,481 --> 00:17:40,481 Speaker 2: if you think that that rejection means that you're not 428 00:17:40,521 --> 00:17:42,840 Speaker 2: good enough, of course you're going to a spiral because 429 00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:45,001 Speaker 2: then it's like, oh my god, I'm not good enough? 430 00:17:45,360 --> 00:17:47,321 Speaker 2: Something about me that's wrong? Why didn't he like me? 431 00:17:47,721 --> 00:17:50,080 Speaker 2: Just should I be different? Should I big making it 432 00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:53,001 Speaker 2: bigger as opposed to what the reality is of that 433 00:17:53,041 --> 00:17:55,640 Speaker 2: situation is, Oh, I'm not compatible. 434 00:17:55,120 --> 00:17:57,440 Speaker 1: With that man, right, maybe he's not ready for a 435 00:17:57,481 --> 00:18:00,041 Speaker 1: relationship because he just got out of the fifteen years absolutely. 436 00:18:00,600 --> 00:18:03,881 Speaker 2: Like instead of immediately making rejection mean that there's something 437 00:18:03,921 --> 00:18:06,440 Speaker 2: wrong with you, point, it's like, well, what was the 438 00:18:06,481 --> 00:18:08,880 Speaker 2: reality of the situation? What's the truth of the situation? 439 00:18:09,600 --> 00:18:11,240 Speaker 2: I feel isn't always the truth? 440 00:18:11,441 --> 00:18:13,360 Speaker 1: No, And you don't want to assume the worst and 441 00:18:13,360 --> 00:18:14,761 Speaker 1: make it about you and it's nothing to do with you. 442 00:18:14,761 --> 00:18:16,640 Speaker 1: Because even thinking if like, say you dared me to 443 00:18:16,640 --> 00:18:18,761 Speaker 1: go up and offer to buy someone a coffee and 444 00:18:18,840 --> 00:18:20,680 Speaker 1: stand and to have a coffee, they might be a 445 00:18:20,681 --> 00:18:22,801 Speaker 1: super introverted person that's in a rush on their way 446 00:18:22,801 --> 00:18:24,801 Speaker 1: to work. Yes, they might might want to love to 447 00:18:24,801 --> 00:18:26,481 Speaker 1: have stand and have a conversation, but they're like, fuck, 448 00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:28,281 Speaker 1: I better her to work in five minutes and I'm 449 00:18:28,321 --> 00:18:31,041 Speaker 1: overwhelmed and no, like, I can't. I can only affort 450 00:18:31,041 --> 00:18:32,001 Speaker 1: my own coffee, you know. 451 00:18:32,281 --> 00:18:34,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, absolutely good point. A cool way to see this 452 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:37,801 Speaker 2: is like in a friendship, even say, when there's something 453 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:40,561 Speaker 2: that one of us does, if we make that mean 454 00:18:40,761 --> 00:18:43,281 Speaker 2: that the other person, Oh she didn't like my idea, 455 00:18:43,360 --> 00:18:46,360 Speaker 2: she thinks I'm dumb. Oh she, then it's we spiral. 456 00:18:46,600 --> 00:18:49,281 Speaker 2: But it's like we're not assuming that it means something 457 00:18:49,281 --> 00:18:52,120 Speaker 2: about us. We're not assuming the worst about the other person. 458 00:18:52,561 --> 00:18:54,400 Speaker 2: And when you don't do that, you're like, oh, I 459 00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,481 Speaker 2: can think of a more logical reason as to work. 460 00:18:56,521 --> 00:18:58,641 Speaker 2: This wasn't a fit. So good, and I think that 461 00:18:58,681 --> 00:19:01,401 Speaker 2: in itself so powerful. Oh it's a game changer. It's 462 00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:04,281 Speaker 2: like seeing it with a neutral lens instead of automatically 463 00:19:04,321 --> 00:19:04,840 Speaker 2: thinking the worst. 464 00:19:05,640 --> 00:19:07,241 Speaker 1: Yeah, because I think when we talk about the fear 465 00:19:07,241 --> 00:19:10,001 Speaker 1: of rejection at the end of the day, even thinking 466 00:19:10,041 --> 00:19:13,201 Speaker 1: about this challenge, I'm like, what is the worst thing 467 00:19:13,241 --> 00:19:17,001 Speaker 1: that can happen? What do we make being rejected actually mean? 468 00:19:17,961 --> 00:19:21,041 Speaker 1: Like what you've just said, You're not going to die, Yeah, 469 00:19:21,080 --> 00:19:23,641 Speaker 1: you're going to get over it. You're going to survive 470 00:19:24,360 --> 00:19:26,680 Speaker 1: and you're going to move on. Don't make it bigger 471 00:19:26,681 --> 00:19:28,680 Speaker 1: than what it needs to be. Like when we get 472 00:19:28,721 --> 00:19:31,561 Speaker 1: rejected doing this challenge, I don't see ourselves going home 473 00:19:31,561 --> 00:19:33,801 Speaker 1: and crying about it for weeks, not at all. If 474 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:36,201 Speaker 1: we could, we might, but I think we're consciously choose 475 00:19:36,201 --> 00:19:37,920 Speaker 1: not to. Yeah, because of what you just said. 476 00:19:38,201 --> 00:19:40,961 Speaker 2: When it comes to other people, right, fear of rejection. 477 00:19:41,080 --> 00:19:43,561 Speaker 2: Let's say we're doing it with other people, random strangers, 478 00:19:43,681 --> 00:19:45,520 Speaker 2: what's the fear. The fear is this person who's going 479 00:19:45,561 --> 00:19:46,041 Speaker 2: to judge me. 480 00:19:46,600 --> 00:19:48,120 Speaker 1: Don't even fucking know them. Why don't I care what 481 00:19:48,160 --> 00:19:50,801 Speaker 1: they think about me? That's the fear, right, I feel like, 482 00:19:50,801 --> 00:19:56,481 Speaker 1: I all, I don't care, Like she says, he's help. 483 00:19:57,561 --> 00:19:59,441 Speaker 2: No, you always say you're never going to see them again, babe. 484 00:19:59,441 --> 00:20:01,840 Speaker 2: Literally when we're dancing out in public and doing stupid 485 00:20:01,880 --> 00:20:03,801 Speaker 2: shit together, she's like, never going to see them again anyway. 486 00:20:03,921 --> 00:20:05,880 Speaker 1: Yeah, It's like I feel award, like you don't know them, 487 00:20:05,921 --> 00:20:09,080 Speaker 1: you don't care. Yeah, And then I'd be pumping on 488 00:20:09,120 --> 00:20:10,600 Speaker 1: the street in a short dress and then a lady 489 00:20:10,681 --> 00:20:12,241 Speaker 1: someone behind us, and I was dancing with us. 490 00:20:12,241 --> 00:20:14,840 Speaker 2: Oh you don't care, Yes, you know when you fear 491 00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,921 Speaker 2: the judgment of others. Immediately, the assumption is, well, they're 492 00:20:17,921 --> 00:20:20,480 Speaker 2: going to have a negative assumption about it, which is 493 00:20:20,521 --> 00:20:21,961 Speaker 2: also assuming the worst because. 494 00:20:21,761 --> 00:20:23,721 Speaker 1: They could be thinking, oh my gosh, those girls look 495 00:20:23,761 --> 00:20:25,240 Speaker 1: so much fun. I wish I had the courage to 496 00:20:25,281 --> 00:20:26,121 Speaker 1: do that. Seriously. 497 00:20:26,241 --> 00:20:28,201 Speaker 2: Yeah, about the times where someone sees you do something 498 00:20:28,241 --> 00:20:30,761 Speaker 2: silly and they're smiling at you, like, oh my gosh, you. 499 00:20:30,801 --> 00:20:32,760 Speaker 1: Just lit my you had a shit morning. Now you're 500 00:20:32,761 --> 00:20:35,121 Speaker 1: making me laugh, Thank you, thank you? Yeah, because how 501 00:20:35,120 --> 00:20:35,960 Speaker 1: many times do we do that? 502 00:20:36,001 --> 00:20:39,121 Speaker 2: In Brisbane? That lady who danced behind us and she's 503 00:20:39,160 --> 00:20:41,360 Speaker 2: like smiling. Look at your people walking past smiling like 504 00:20:41,441 --> 00:20:44,400 Speaker 2: nodding their heads. You never know what someone's actually going 505 00:20:44,481 --> 00:20:46,481 Speaker 2: to think and feel when they see what you're doing. 506 00:20:46,681 --> 00:20:48,720 Speaker 2: Why do we all automatically assume that it's going to 507 00:20:48,721 --> 00:20:49,200 Speaker 2: be negative? 508 00:20:49,281 --> 00:20:51,760 Speaker 1: I know, right, I do that too sometimes too, if 509 00:20:51,761 --> 00:20:53,721 Speaker 1: someone like, you know, when you can see someone's mouth, 510 00:20:53,721 --> 00:20:56,041 Speaker 1: they're like, oh, that's actually WHI yes, I turned to 511 00:20:56,120 --> 00:20:58,240 Speaker 1: the worst and yeah like fucking hate me. You're like, 512 00:20:58,281 --> 00:21:00,120 Speaker 1: maybe they're inspired by you, maybe they want to come 513 00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,160 Speaker 1: and ask for a photo. Yeah, they're like, why do 514 00:21:02,201 --> 00:21:03,721 Speaker 1: you think the worst? I'm like, I don't know I'm scared. 515 00:21:03,761 --> 00:21:05,161 Speaker 2: Maybe they're intimidated to come say hell. 516 00:21:05,281 --> 00:21:07,001 Speaker 1: Yeah, and then I'll get a message like, oh my gosh, 517 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,441 Speaker 1: sory the cap I would see I was too shy 518 00:21:08,481 --> 00:21:09,921 Speaker 1: to come up and say hello. I'm like, oh my gosh, 519 00:21:09,961 --> 00:21:11,001 Speaker 1: I don't bite also high. 520 00:21:11,041 --> 00:21:13,241 Speaker 2: Maybe it's like maybe you inspired me to orgasm for 521 00:21:13,241 --> 00:21:13,721 Speaker 2: the first. 522 00:21:13,521 --> 00:21:17,440 Speaker 1: Time on the car five six. Thanks for getting me 523 00:21:17,521 --> 00:21:20,041 Speaker 1: to my own You're welcome. 524 00:21:20,120 --> 00:21:22,400 Speaker 2: You just never know, so true, never know. 525 00:21:22,721 --> 00:21:23,321 Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. 526 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:25,001 Speaker 2: It just seems like a better place to live in 527 00:21:25,080 --> 00:21:26,441 Speaker 2: your head when you're assuming the worst. 528 00:21:26,801 --> 00:21:29,361 Speaker 1: I'd rather be delusional than be negative. It's so much 529 00:21:29,521 --> 00:21:31,680 Speaker 1: choice and where we let our mind go. What we 530 00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:35,401 Speaker 1: attach to each situation, the meanings were attached to any 531 00:21:35,481 --> 00:21:39,720 Speaker 1: situation can make us spiral or make us level up 532 00:21:39,801 --> 00:21:41,721 Speaker 1: and enjoy the process absolutely. 533 00:21:41,961 --> 00:21:45,120 Speaker 2: Like when the video happened, the sex tape happened, my 534 00:21:45,481 --> 00:21:48,360 Speaker 2: natural assumption for like a good twelve months after that, 535 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:50,920 Speaker 2: when I would meet new people in the back of 536 00:21:51,001 --> 00:21:53,561 Speaker 2: my mind was has the person seen it? Have they 537 00:21:53,681 --> 00:21:56,880 Speaker 2: watched it? And are they talking about it? Yeah? And 538 00:21:57,001 --> 00:21:58,721 Speaker 2: that was my initial was like, oh my god, this 539 00:21:58,801 --> 00:22:00,760 Speaker 2: person's either going to have no idea, who I am 540 00:22:00,880 --> 00:22:02,400 Speaker 2: and not know anything about it, or they're going to 541 00:22:02,441 --> 00:22:04,720 Speaker 2: assume that I'm a slot. That was my initial response. 542 00:22:05,160 --> 00:22:08,200 Speaker 2: Me so anxious in social settings because I was so 543 00:22:08,441 --> 00:22:10,721 Speaker 2: terrified to meet new people because I felt like I 544 00:22:10,761 --> 00:22:13,961 Speaker 2: had this big skeleton in my closet that I didn't 545 00:22:14,001 --> 00:22:16,360 Speaker 2: know if they knew about, and the uncertainty of that 546 00:22:16,521 --> 00:22:18,001 Speaker 2: really scared me. But then I was just like, you 547 00:22:18,080 --> 00:22:22,241 Speaker 2: know what, that story, that moment, that experience doesn't define 548 00:22:22,281 --> 00:22:24,321 Speaker 2: who I am as a person. So why would I 549 00:22:24,441 --> 00:22:26,921 Speaker 2: lead with that? Why would I lead? What about who 550 00:22:27,001 --> 00:22:29,281 Speaker 2: I am as a friend? How I treat other people, 551 00:22:29,600 --> 00:22:31,721 Speaker 2: the way that I like to engage in like humor 552 00:22:31,761 --> 00:22:34,160 Speaker 2: and make people laugh, like I love doing that. What 553 00:22:34,281 --> 00:22:36,640 Speaker 2: if their assumption of me was like, Oh, you're actually 554 00:22:36,761 --> 00:22:39,001 Speaker 2: like funny, yah ah, cool, You're actually do you know 555 00:22:39,041 --> 00:22:40,321 Speaker 2: iat sent of humor? 556 00:22:40,481 --> 00:22:40,681 Speaker 1: Yeah? 557 00:22:40,921 --> 00:22:42,561 Speaker 2: Why are we always assuming the negative? 558 00:22:42,721 --> 00:22:44,280 Speaker 1: I can relate to that. I remember when I went 559 00:22:44,321 --> 00:22:46,321 Speaker 1: through the hate really badly and there was that hate page. 560 00:22:46,681 --> 00:22:49,241 Speaker 1: There's sixteen thousand people on there. I couldn't go to 561 00:22:49,281 --> 00:22:51,561 Speaker 1: the shops by myself, and I'm blaming you know. I'm 562 00:22:51,600 --> 00:22:54,120 Speaker 1: a very independent person, but I literally would get one 563 00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,041 Speaker 1: of my friends or Steve or someone to come with me, 564 00:22:56,160 --> 00:22:59,321 Speaker 1: because I thought that everyone at the shopping center hated me, 565 00:22:59,880 --> 00:23:03,680 Speaker 1: Like thousands of people online actively follow and stalk my 566 00:23:03,761 --> 00:23:06,121 Speaker 1: life to hate me and comment mean stuff and try 567 00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:08,281 Speaker 1: and bring me down and tell me to go kill myself. 568 00:23:08,840 --> 00:23:11,041 Speaker 1: I just thought everyone looking at me hate me. Yeah, 569 00:23:11,120 --> 00:23:12,720 Speaker 1: so I would just get so anxious if I had 570 00:23:12,761 --> 00:23:14,120 Speaker 1: to go to the shop on myself, and I would 571 00:23:14,120 --> 00:23:16,400 Speaker 1: be sold my head looking down at my phone, like 572 00:23:16,441 --> 00:23:18,641 Speaker 1: looking down with my head, and anyone that would look 573 00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:20,400 Speaker 1: I was just like, oh my gosh, I hate me. 574 00:23:21,041 --> 00:23:22,481 Speaker 1: And it just made me hate myself. I was like, 575 00:23:22,521 --> 00:23:23,801 Speaker 1: I just don't don't want to be here. I don't 576 00:23:23,801 --> 00:23:24,321 Speaker 1: want to be seen. 577 00:23:24,761 --> 00:23:27,321 Speaker 2: It was awful put in such a terrible headspace too 578 00:23:27,521 --> 00:23:28,321 Speaker 2: does And. 579 00:23:28,321 --> 00:23:30,281 Speaker 1: I think that's my initial response now when I see 580 00:23:30,281 --> 00:23:32,680 Speaker 1: people say oh, that's Ashly Winds or they look at us, 581 00:23:32,761 --> 00:23:35,880 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, it's like a negative it's that same response. Yeah. 582 00:23:36,360 --> 00:23:38,721 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so interesting with that. Hey, you feel like 583 00:23:38,721 --> 00:23:41,521 Speaker 2: you've got to try your best to rewire the way 584 00:23:41,600 --> 00:23:44,760 Speaker 2: the initial response is. But makes so much sense though, 585 00:23:44,761 --> 00:23:47,080 Speaker 2: because you had a negative experience, of course you're going 586 00:23:47,080 --> 00:23:49,321 Speaker 2: to assume the worst because that's your like, your nervous 587 00:23:49,321 --> 00:23:51,360 Speaker 2: system coming into play to protect myself. 588 00:23:51,600 --> 00:23:54,041 Speaker 1: Yeah, they got to you write, You got to rewrite 589 00:23:54,041 --> 00:23:56,520 Speaker 1: the story, not assume the worst, and everyone too. 590 00:23:56,681 --> 00:23:58,281 Speaker 2: But it doesn't mean that it's not hard. 591 00:23:58,441 --> 00:24:03,041 Speaker 1: It's very hard. Yeah, yeah, all right, challenge, challenge accepted. 592 00:24:03,241 --> 00:24:03,920 Speaker 1: Oh let's do it. 593 00:24:04,080 --> 00:24:05,840 Speaker 2: I am immediately grating voice in this. 594 00:24:06,041 --> 00:24:09,080 Speaker 1: Oh oh my gosh, sow fourteen days. Yeah, we can 595 00:24:09,120 --> 00:24:12,640 Speaker 1: set it how as long as we want? Okay, fourteen days. 596 00:24:14,721 --> 00:24:16,600 Speaker 1: Do we have to do it every day? In a rogues? 597 00:24:16,681 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 1: What if we're not together or can we film like 598 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,120 Speaker 1: say six in one day? Yeah, we could do that 599 00:24:20,360 --> 00:24:22,481 Speaker 1: just so we've got but we uplook each day, post 600 00:24:22,561 --> 00:24:24,880 Speaker 1: one each day and then it's like a series. Okay, 601 00:24:25,080 --> 00:24:27,360 Speaker 1: everyone can follow along with day. That's a lot of rejection, 602 00:24:27,801 --> 00:24:30,441 Speaker 1: but we sometimes do batch film content because time. 603 00:24:30,721 --> 00:24:33,281 Speaker 2: Yes, we're busy, gut and were ready to have bruised egos. 604 00:24:33,360 --> 00:24:37,041 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, okay, it's all all for the growth of this. 605 00:24:37,281 --> 00:24:39,521 Speaker 2: Although I am a little bit nervous that you guys 606 00:24:39,561 --> 00:24:40,961 Speaker 2: are going to be the one posting them in. 607 00:24:41,201 --> 00:24:43,360 Speaker 1: I'm like, ashually I know kind of know what she 608 00:24:43,360 --> 00:24:45,440 Speaker 1: would make me do. Yeah, you guys I feel like 609 00:24:45,441 --> 00:24:47,321 Speaker 1: there's going to be unhinge. That's true, bringing in the 610 00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:48,441 Speaker 1: s RISES forum guys. 611 00:24:48,561 --> 00:24:49,681 Speaker 2: Sounds good bye bye,