Speaker 1: Apod Shape Production. Welcome to another episode of Am I
Speaker 1: A Bad Mum? A podcast?
Speaker 2: Kids.
Speaker 1: This is what we talk about, kids and kids, kids,
Speaker 1: all ages.
Speaker 2: We've got a friend, you know, a mutual friend that's
Speaker 2: got a near one year old, so we go through that.
Speaker 2: I've got a three year old nephew. Yeah, so I'm
Speaker 2: in that mix with him. And then we've got my
Speaker 2: girls nine to eleven, then your girls fifteen on that spiral.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And I kind of felt a bit like this
Speaker 1: would be the kind of time where, you know, this
Speaker 1: podcast content would wrap up a little bit because you know, fifteen,
Speaker 1: you know, nearly able to drive. I said to the
Speaker 1: girls the other day, I said, next four months, you
Speaker 1: can draw, you can have sex. I don't even feel
Speaker 1: confident with your crossing the fucking road down your own
Speaker 1: without looking at your phone, so you can actually move out.
Speaker 1: They asked me to do something for them the other day.
Speaker 1: It was like it was open something, it was something
Speaker 1: really like that. I just went. I looked at them
Speaker 1: like would just complete shock in my face, going, you
Speaker 1: know that you could move out in four months time,
Speaker 1: live on your own legally, and.
Speaker 2: Not be able to even open this can.
Speaker 3: To eat from like, what the hell, I've literally no hope,
Speaker 3: no hope. Am I bad mum for clamping down on
Speaker 3: teenage privileges. This is a topic that I have been
Speaker 3: obsessed with the entire time that I have been a
Speaker 3: mum my kids, and that is sleep. And I know
Speaker 3: we've spoken about sleep often because I was just always
Speaker 3: obsessed with how much sleep they'd had when they weren't asleep,
Speaker 3: what time they got to sleep, what time they wake
Speaker 3: up in the morning, what the next day was going
Speaker 3: to be like probably like neuonically, Yeah, we've got to
Speaker 3: the stage where the girls the other day. So their
Speaker 3: routine at the moment is on weekdays they need to
Speaker 3: handle their screens in at nine o'clock and then they
Speaker 3: can go up and read for a little bit if
Speaker 3: they're not tired yet, but generally just in your beddream
Speaker 3: quiet and then go to sleep. The other day, rate
Speaker 3: I decided to go to bed super early, and I
Speaker 3: was just getting frustrated because I could just fucking hear
Speaker 3: them still up. I was in bed at like eight
Speaker 3: thirty and I was like, Okay, I want to go
Speaker 3: to sleep, And I was like, girls, can you be
Speaker 3: quiet because I want to go to sleep, and you
Speaker 3: should really start, you know, wrapping stuff up too. Ten
Speaker 3: to ten, I could still hear them chattering in the bathroom,
Speaker 3: and I was.
Speaker 1: Like, good out of the like get to bed. You
Speaker 1: need to go to bed because tomorrow morning you've got
Speaker 1: to get up early and get yourself ready for school,
Speaker 1: and you're gonna be tired all day. Like it's nearly
Speaker 1: ten o'clock. So if it's nearly ten o'clock and you're
Speaker 1: still in the bathroom, you know we're probably looking at
Speaker 1: least ten thirty before you're actually going to sleep. It
Speaker 1: got to the point where the next day and I
Speaker 1: just let it be, like let it go, let them
Speaker 1: And the next day I had to take them ice
Speaker 1: skating in the afternoon and I picked them up from school,
Speaker 1: and how they were on the way to ice skating
Speaker 1: with me in the car, how rude they were, was
Speaker 1: just next level, arguing with everything I said, and to
Speaker 1: the point where I went, I have just left work
Speaker 1: early to pick you up to drive you to ice skate.
Speaker 1: None of this is about me, None of it none,
Speaker 1: None of it is about me. I've got nothing in
Speaker 1: this Like I could be at work because as it is,
Speaker 1: I'm going to drop you off. Then I'm going to
Speaker 1: get my laptop out. Then I'm gonna do some more work.
Speaker 1: Then I'm gonna do some more work when I get home.
Speaker 1: It's a real inconvenience, this whole thing to me. Holly
Speaker 1: turned around and when it's your duty, I went, excuse me, what,
Speaker 1: it's your duty. It's your duty to my gosh, take
Speaker 1: her from school to the after extracurricular whatever. She said
Speaker 1: to me, it's your And you know, when just something
Speaker 1: tweaks in you like you just flip from going okay,
Speaker 1: I'm going to be really quite reasonable here. To know,
Speaker 1: I've lost all sense of being reasonable and I just
Speaker 1: throw out all that. I was like, next week, you're
Speaker 1: going to get the buts. You're going to have to
Speaker 1: because their problem is they can't take their ice skating
Speaker 1: bags with their skates and everything to school. I'm not
Speaker 1: supposed to. And so I was like, I'm going to
Speaker 1: email the teacher. I'm going to tell her that you're
Speaker 1: taking your skate bag to school. You're going to struggle
Speaker 1: with that. Then you're gonna have to walk up the
Speaker 1: hills get the bus. Then you're gonna get the bus.
Speaker 1: You know what's happened here. He's basically I've gone from
Speaker 1: looking forward to seeing you after school to wanting to
Speaker 1: take you to have fun, to going I don't want
Speaker 1: to do this, like there is no enjoyment in this whatsoever,
Speaker 1: and so I've become kind of sleep obsessed again.
Speaker 2: Well, I think you can see why. I think the
Speaker 2: end result is you can see why they become chitty
Speaker 2: versions of themselves, and then that's why that's why you
Speaker 2: look at them and you're like, actually, no, I don't
Speaker 2: appreciate who you are when you've got no sleep in
Speaker 2: you know nothing, because they're not usually like that, are they.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: No, they have moments where they give you grief, as
Speaker 2: every teenager does to a parent figure. Yep, but they're
Speaker 2: not like those girls constantly, so you can see where
Speaker 2: it's coming from, which is like.
Speaker 1: Of sleep exactly. There is always that correlation to lack
Speaker 1: of sleep, and they will argue till they're blue in
Speaker 1: the face about the fact that it's not because they're tired,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, mate, I've known you for fifteen years.
Speaker 1: I know you better than you know yourself, and I
Speaker 1: can absolutely see how that adds up with lack of
Speaker 1: sleep and then how you are the next day and
Speaker 1: how rude that you can be.
Speaker 2: The difference, though, Okatie, is that they think that you've
Speaker 2: known them for fifteen years, but you still no fucking
Speaker 2: nothing nothing.
Speaker 1: I've got no knowing about that idea of what it's
Speaker 1: like to be a tea or what it's like to
Speaker 1: be them. I just have no. They're not tired. You've
Speaker 1: never been tired. You've never You've never once said to
Speaker 1: me you're tired in fifteen years. Never, never, You're never tired.
Speaker 1: So what I've done is I've gone back to that. Okay,
Speaker 1: if we're not going to behave respectfully, then we're gonna
Speaker 1: lose our privileges. Yeah, a bedtime. So I said, now
Speaker 1: it's bringing your screens down at eight, which I absolutely
Speaker 1: fucking hate because eight o'clock is just early, like when
Speaker 1: they talk about what their friends do and the kids
Speaker 1: that are allowed their phones and are scrolling still at midnight,
Speaker 1: and I'm like, it's not good for you. They might
Speaker 1: be allowed to do that, great, but it's not good
Speaker 1: for them.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is that part. You don't understand why they're
Speaker 2: doing it.
Speaker 1: So I was like, bring your stuff down at eight,
Speaker 1: and then you've got an hour to get yourself. There's
Speaker 1: no messing around in the bathroom at ten to ten
Speaker 1: because you've got all your shit done and you can
Speaker 1: get there.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that helps you. At least you won't have to
Speaker 2: listen to them at ten to ten or ten past
Speaker 2: ten in the bathroom just pitching and mining to each other.
Speaker 2: That's good. This is what's going to happen. Are they
Speaker 2: sort of adhering to this or then it's not going well?
Speaker 1: No, because last night was the first night, rach and
Speaker 1: five past eight, like, this is where the hitler comes in, right.
Speaker 1: I was like, I went into both of their bedrooms
Speaker 1: and I put my hands on my hips. I went well,
Speaker 1: And they looked at me and went, what, Oh, it's
Speaker 1: five past eight, I said, first day, first day of it.
Speaker 1: It's only five past I went, it doesn't matter. It's
Speaker 1: the principle. Yes, it's five minutes past. Shouldn't be five
Speaker 1: minutes past, If anything, you should be coming down earlier
Speaker 1: to go. I've got this covered. I want her to
Speaker 1: change the rules tomorrow.
Speaker 2: But they're just really pushing it. Oh, well, that'll carry
Speaker 2: on for a bit longer. Then. Best of luck with
Speaker 2: that and the other thing that I was going to
Speaker 2: question was does that mean that it also brings forward
Speaker 2: all their homework time because they technically work off their
Speaker 2: laptops so much for homework.
Speaker 1: Or I've even been known to say to Holly, She'll go,
Speaker 1: I haven't done my homework. I have to have it
Speaker 1: to and I'm like, no, too late.
Speaker 2: Now.
Speaker 1: I even say, hoped can't do homework, and she'll go,
Speaker 1: but I have to blah, And I'm like, what about
Speaker 1: it three hours before where you were scrolling on your phone? Yeah,
Speaker 1: you should have done it then. And I will absolutely
Speaker 1: say to your teacher, she had plenty of times she's
Speaker 1: just scrolled on her phone for three hours. So if
Speaker 1: she's telling you, Mom said I couldn't do my homework, yeah,
Speaker 1: but that was when it was too late. She's had
Speaker 1: the three hours before, it'll be good for them and
Speaker 1: start doing experiments. And I'll start doing experience experiments on
Speaker 1: when they have a really long, great sleep, and then
Speaker 1: I'll do that whole rewarding good behavior thing we do
Speaker 1: when kids are like two too, yeah, and go, you
Speaker 1: were really lovely today. Oh look at that. You went
Speaker 1: to bed at eight thirty last night. Funny, isn't it,
Speaker 1: it's weird.
Speaker 2: I don't know anything, absolutely nothing, but I do know
Speaker 2: that you slept a long time last night and today
Speaker 2: you've been quite lovely nice.
Speaker 1: So oh they're gonna flip it and they'll have a
Speaker 1: long sleep and then there'll be absolute assholes on purpose
Speaker 1: just to do a point.
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe you just don't give in on the great advice.
Speaker 2: Just go you've been really nice today. I'm not telling
Speaker 2: you why, no, because I still don't know.
Speaker 1: I don't know why you've been hate thirty