WEBVTT - When you're tired, you're an arsehole!

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<v Speaker 1>Apod Shape Production. Welcome to another episode of Am I

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<v Speaker 1>A Bad Mum? A podcast?

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<v Speaker 2>Kids.

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<v Speaker 1>This is what we talk about, kids and kids, kids,

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<v Speaker 1>all ages.

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<v Speaker 2>We've got a friend, you know, a mutual friend that's

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<v Speaker 2>got a near one year old, so we go through that.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got a three year old nephew. Yeah, so I'm

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<v Speaker 2>in that mix with him. And then we've got my

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<v Speaker 2>girls nine to eleven, then your girls fifteen on that spiral.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, And I kind of felt a bit like this

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<v Speaker 1>would be the kind of time where, you know, this

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<v Speaker 1>podcast content would wrap up a little bit because you know, fifteen,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, nearly able to drive. I said to the

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<v Speaker 1>girls the other day, I said, next four months, you

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<v Speaker 1>can draw, you can have sex. I don't even feel

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<v Speaker 1>confident with your crossing the fucking road down your own

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<v Speaker 1>without looking at your phone, so you can actually move out.

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<v Speaker 1>They asked me to do something for them the other day.

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<v Speaker 1>It was like it was open something, it was something

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<v Speaker 1>really like that. I just went. I looked at them

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<v Speaker 1>like would just complete shock in my face, going, you

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<v Speaker 1>know that you could move out in four months time,

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<v Speaker 1>live on your own legally, and.

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<v Speaker 2>Not be able to even open this can.

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<v Speaker 3>To eat from like, what the hell, I've literally no hope,

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<v Speaker 3>no hope. Am I bad mum for clamping down on

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<v Speaker 3>teenage privileges. This is a topic that I have been

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<v Speaker 3>obsessed with the entire time that I have been a

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<v Speaker 3>mum my kids, and that is sleep. And I know

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<v Speaker 3>we've spoken about sleep often because I was just always

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<v Speaker 3>obsessed with how much sleep they'd had when they weren't asleep,

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<v Speaker 3>what time they got to sleep, what time they wake

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<v Speaker 3>up in the morning, what the next day was going

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<v Speaker 3>to be like probably like neuonically, Yeah, we've got to

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<v Speaker 3>the stage where the girls the other day. So their

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<v Speaker 3>routine at the moment is on weekdays they need to

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<v Speaker 3>handle their screens in at nine o'clock and then they

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<v Speaker 3>can go up and read for a little bit if

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<v Speaker 3>they're not tired yet, but generally just in your beddream

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<v Speaker 3>quiet and then go to sleep. The other day, rate

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<v Speaker 3>I decided to go to bed super early, and I

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<v Speaker 3>was just getting frustrated because I could just fucking hear

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<v Speaker 3>them still up. I was in bed at like eight

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<v Speaker 3>thirty and I was like, Okay, I want to go

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<v Speaker 3>to sleep, And I was like, girls, can you be

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<v Speaker 3>quiet because I want to go to sleep, and you

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<v Speaker 3>should really start, you know, wrapping stuff up too. Ten

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<v Speaker 3>to ten, I could still hear them chattering in the bathroom,

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<v Speaker 3>and I was.

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<v Speaker 1>Like, good out of the like get to bed. You

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<v Speaker 1>need to go to bed because tomorrow morning you've got

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<v Speaker 1>to get up early and get yourself ready for school,

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<v Speaker 1>and you're gonna be tired all day. Like it's nearly

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<v Speaker 1>ten o'clock. So if it's nearly ten o'clock and you're

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<v Speaker 1>still in the bathroom, you know we're probably looking at

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<v Speaker 1>least ten thirty before you're actually going to sleep. It

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<v Speaker 1>got to the point where the next day and I

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<v Speaker 1>just let it be, like let it go, let them

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<v Speaker 1>And the next day I had to take them ice

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<v Speaker 1>skating in the afternoon and I picked them up from school,

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<v Speaker 1>and how they were on the way to ice skating

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<v Speaker 1>with me in the car, how rude they were, was

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<v Speaker 1>just next level, arguing with everything I said, and to

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<v Speaker 1>the point where I went, I have just left work

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<v Speaker 1>early to pick you up to drive you to ice skate.

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<v Speaker 1>None of this is about me, None of it none,

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<v Speaker 1>None of it is about me. I've got nothing in

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<v Speaker 1>this Like I could be at work because as it is,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to drop you off. Then I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>get my laptop out. Then I'm gonna do some more work.

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<v Speaker 1>Then I'm gonna do some more work when I get home.

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<v Speaker 1>It's a real inconvenience, this whole thing to me. Holly

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<v Speaker 1>turned around and when it's your duty, I went, excuse me, what,

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<v Speaker 1>it's your duty. It's your duty to my gosh, take

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<v Speaker 1>her from school to the after extracurricular whatever. She said

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<v Speaker 1>to me, it's your And you know, when just something

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<v Speaker 1>tweaks in you like you just flip from going okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be really quite reasonable here. To know,

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<v Speaker 1>I've lost all sense of being reasonable and I just

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<v Speaker 1>throw out all that. I was like, next week, you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to get the buts. You're going to have to

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<v Speaker 1>because their problem is they can't take their ice skating

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<v Speaker 1>bags with their skates and everything to school. I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>supposed to. And so I was like, I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>email the teacher. I'm going to tell her that you're

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<v Speaker 1>taking your skate bag to school. You're going to struggle

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<v Speaker 1>with that. Then you're gonna have to walk up the

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<v Speaker 1>hills get the bus. Then you're gonna get the bus.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what's happened here. He's basically I've gone from

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<v Speaker 1>looking forward to seeing you after school to wanting to

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<v Speaker 1>take you to have fun, to going I don't want

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<v Speaker 1>to do this, like there is no enjoyment in this whatsoever,

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<v Speaker 1>and so I've become kind of sleep obsessed again.

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<v Speaker 2>Well, I think you can see why. I think the

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<v Speaker 2>end result is you can see why they become chitty

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<v Speaker 2>versions of themselves, and then that's why that's why you

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<v Speaker 2>look at them and you're like, actually, no, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>appreciate who you are when you've got no sleep in

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<v Speaker 2>you know nothing, because they're not usually like that, are they.

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<v Speaker 1>No.

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<v Speaker 2>No, they have moments where they give you grief, as

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<v Speaker 2>every teenager does to a parent figure. Yep, but they're

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<v Speaker 2>not like those girls constantly, so you can see where

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<v Speaker 2>it's coming from, which is like.

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<v Speaker 1>Of sleep exactly. There is always that correlation to lack

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<v Speaker 1>of sleep, and they will argue till they're blue in

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<v Speaker 1>the face about the fact that it's not because they're tired,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, mate, I've known you for fifteen years.

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<v Speaker 1>I know you better than you know yourself, and I

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<v Speaker 1>can absolutely see how that adds up with lack of

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<v Speaker 1>sleep and then how you are the next day and

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<v Speaker 1>how rude that you can be.

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<v Speaker 2>The difference, though, Okatie, is that they think that you've

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<v Speaker 2>known them for fifteen years, but you still no fucking

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<v Speaker 2>nothing nothing.

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<v Speaker 1>I've got no knowing about that idea of what it's

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<v Speaker 1>like to be a tea or what it's like to

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<v Speaker 1>be them. I just have no. They're not tired. You've

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<v Speaker 1>never been tired. You've never You've never once said to

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<v Speaker 1>me you're tired in fifteen years. Never, never, You're never tired.

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<v Speaker 1>So what I've done is I've gone back to that. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>if we're not going to behave respectfully, then we're gonna

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<v Speaker 1>lose our privileges. Yeah, a bedtime. So I said, now

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<v Speaker 1>it's bringing your screens down at eight, which I absolutely

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<v Speaker 1>fucking hate because eight o'clock is just early, like when

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<v Speaker 1>they talk about what their friends do and the kids

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<v Speaker 1>that are allowed their phones and are scrolling still at midnight,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm like, it's not good for you. They might

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<v Speaker 1>be allowed to do that, great, but it's not good

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<v Speaker 1>for them.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, this is that part. You don't understand why they're

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<v Speaker 2>doing it.

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<v Speaker 1>So I was like, bring your stuff down at eight,

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<v Speaker 1>and then you've got an hour to get yourself. There's

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<v Speaker 1>no messing around in the bathroom at ten to ten

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<v Speaker 1>because you've got all your shit done and you can

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<v Speaker 1>get there.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, that helps you. At least you won't have to

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<v Speaker 2>listen to them at ten to ten or ten past

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<v Speaker 2>ten in the bathroom just pitching and mining to each other.

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<v Speaker 2>That's good. This is what's going to happen. Are they

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<v Speaker 2>sort of adhering to this or then it's not going well?

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<v Speaker 1>No, because last night was the first night, rach and

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<v Speaker 1>five past eight, like, this is where the hitler comes in, right.

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, I went into both of their bedrooms

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<v Speaker 1>and I put my hands on my hips. I went well,

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<v Speaker 1>And they looked at me and went, what, Oh, it's

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<v Speaker 1>five past eight, I said, first day, first day of it.

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<v Speaker 1>It's only five past I went, it doesn't matter. It's

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<v Speaker 1>the principle. Yes, it's five minutes past. Shouldn't be five

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<v Speaker 1>minutes past, If anything, you should be coming down earlier

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<v Speaker 1>to go. I've got this covered. I want her to

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<v Speaker 1>change the rules tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>But they're just really pushing it. Oh, well, that'll carry

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<v Speaker 2>on for a bit longer. Then. Best of luck with

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<v Speaker 2>that and the other thing that I was going to

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<v Speaker 2>question was does that mean that it also brings forward

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<v Speaker 2>all their homework time because they technically work off their

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<v Speaker 2>laptops so much for homework.

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<v Speaker 1>Or I've even been known to say to Holly, She'll go,

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't done my homework. I have to have it

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<v Speaker 1>to and I'm like, no, too late.

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<v Speaker 2>Now.

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<v Speaker 1>I even say, hoped can't do homework, and she'll go,

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<v Speaker 1>but I have to blah, And I'm like, what about

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<v Speaker 1>it three hours before where you were scrolling on your phone? Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>you should have done it then. And I will absolutely

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<v Speaker 1>say to your teacher, she had plenty of times she's

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<v Speaker 1>just scrolled on her phone for three hours. So if

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<v Speaker 1>she's telling you, Mom said I couldn't do my homework, yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>but that was when it was too late. She's had

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<v Speaker 1>the three hours before, it'll be good for them and

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<v Speaker 1>start doing experiments. And I'll start doing experience experiments on

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<v Speaker 1>when they have a really long, great sleep, and then

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<v Speaker 1>I'll do that whole rewarding good behavior thing we do

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<v Speaker 1>when kids are like two too, yeah, and go, you

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<v Speaker 1>were really lovely today. Oh look at that. You went

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<v Speaker 1>to bed at eight thirty last night. Funny, isn't it,

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<v Speaker 1>it's weird.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know anything, absolutely nothing, but I do know

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<v Speaker 2>that you slept a long time last night and today

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<v Speaker 2>you've been quite lovely nice.

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<v Speaker 1>So oh they're gonna flip it and they'll have a

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<v Speaker 1>long sleep and then there'll be absolute assholes on purpose

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<v Speaker 1>just to do a point.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, maybe you just don't give in on the great advice.

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<v Speaker 2>Just go you've been really nice today. I'm not telling

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<v Speaker 2>you why, no, because I still don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know why you've been hate thirty