Speaker 1: High Scrollers is produced on Gadigal land.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to the traditional custodians of this
Speaker 2: country and elders past and present.
Speaker 3: Always was, always will be Aboriginal land. I want to
Speaker 3: start out this Closed Friends episode by talking about funerals.
Speaker 2: Okay. Lovely. What about them?
Speaker 1: Which, by the way, we got a comment on, not
Speaker 1: that this is R-rated, we got a comment on last
Speaker 1: week's pod saying, stop talking about R-rated subjects.
Speaker 2: Well, I will admit the confession section was fucked up.
Speaker 1: Oh, yeah.
Speaker 3: We could talk about that as well. The aftermath.
Speaker 2: The aftermath of the confession session. I know. Was wild.
Speaker 1: Well, anyway, before we get to that, I wanted to
Speaker 1: talk about something that I've had written in my notes
Speaker 1: for ages. It was a video that I saw of Um,
Speaker 1: and we all know Amber from influencer updates. She has
Speaker 1: a sister named Kayla who used to have a business
Speaker 1: called tribe skincare back in the day. Uh, if you know,
Speaker 1: you know, and anyway, she sold that business and now
Speaker 1: she has another business and she posts, um, videos, you know,
Speaker 1: on that account now. And I think it was on
Speaker 1: Kayla's business account. I'm not entirely sure. But sadly, their
Speaker 1: mom passed away and she's kind of done a few
Speaker 1: videos talking about the grieving journey.
Speaker 3: And one video that stood out.
Speaker 1: To me, and this was like months ago, I've had
Speaker 1: this written in my notes for ages, but she spoke
Speaker 1: about something that they did for the funeral that I
Speaker 1: thought was.
Speaker 3: Such a good idea.
Speaker 1: And she said, basically, Her and Amber, they, you know,
Speaker 1: were obviously devastated. And a funeral is like such a,
Speaker 1: like it's a celebration, but it's also sad, right?
Speaker 3: Like you're going through a lot of emotions.
Speaker 1: And she was just basically talking about what they did
Speaker 1: was they sat down together and they filmed a video
Speaker 1: talking about their mum. And they played that at the funeral,
Speaker 1: like on a big screen in front of everyone. instead
Speaker 1: of doing the typical getting up in front of everyone.
Speaker 1: She was just talking about how positive of an experience
Speaker 1: that was because they could sit down together at home
Speaker 1: in their own time.
Speaker 3: They could write things out.
Speaker 1: They could stop and start the camera and chop it
Speaker 1: all together and reflect on all the happy memories and
Speaker 1: be together, just the two of them. That way, they
Speaker 1: didn't have to get up and you know, do a
Speaker 1: speech when they're obviously emotional. And I just, I wrote
Speaker 1: that down when I saw it because I thought that's
Speaker 1: such a good idea because let's be honest, public speaking
Speaker 1: is like not many people enjoy doing that on a
Speaker 1: regular day. No.
Speaker 3: Let alone when you're mourning the loss of someone that
Speaker 3: you love.
Speaker 1: Yeah. You know, like some people would just literally rather
Speaker 1: not do it because, you know, they, number one, public speaking,
Speaker 1: not a fan of, but then number two, highly emotional.
Speaker 3: Can't get your words out, so upset.
Speaker 1: And so I just kind of thought I would, I
Speaker 1: don't know, I've never heard of anyone doing that.
Speaker 3: And I just thought it was such a good idea.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: What do you think of it?
Speaker 2: I love it. I mean, you do anything you need
Speaker 2: to do to get through that day and that process.
Speaker 2: And I've never heard anything about anyone doing anything like that.
Speaker 2: Does that make sense? But it's a good idea. I
Speaker 2: thought it was a really good idea.
Speaker 3: And I just had never heard of anyone doing that before.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And they still sat there with everyone and watched the
Speaker 1: video that they'd made at home. But I just thought,
Speaker 1: what a good idea for someone that isn't confident with
Speaker 1: public speaking or just doesn't want to get up and talk,
Speaker 1: but still wants to say everything that they want to say.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And I just thought that was a really good idea.
Speaker 1: And I hope they don't mind me sharing that.
Speaker 2: Well, this is an influencer updates updates. That's fun, isn't it?
Speaker 3: Exactly right.
Speaker 2: I went to a funeral and it was really... quite
Speaker 2: beautiful as most funerals are. But like, uh, one of
Speaker 2: the really nice things that happened is this man whose
Speaker 2: funeral I went to, he was a big gardener. And
Speaker 2: at the end he loved succulents and had like hundreds
Speaker 2: of succulents and hundreds of plants in his garden. And
Speaker 2: when we went to the wake on the way out,
Speaker 2: it was like, take one with you. And, um, we
Speaker 2: took home like the succulents and they're still in the
Speaker 2: house and we look after them. And I just wanted
Speaker 2: to share that because it was such a lovely, like,
Speaker 2: I was like, wow, like we get to take something
Speaker 2: that he loved and cared for. We now get to
Speaker 2: love and care for that. And I thought that that
Speaker 2: was really beautiful. One of the nicest things I've ever
Speaker 2: like seen at a funeral. And, um, I just love
Speaker 2: that every time I look at the succulent, I think
Speaker 2: of him and it's like my job to take care
Speaker 2: of something that he used to take care of.
Speaker 1: So I think, um, like we've spoken a little bit
Speaker 1: about like, death and funerals and stuff on the pod.
Speaker 3: And we spoke about the coffin confessor, right? That was
Speaker 3: ages ago. I love him. We still need to get
Speaker 3: him on big business.
Speaker 1: And I know we've spoken about like how I had
Speaker 1: my will made up. And I think I already said
Speaker 1: this like ages ago. And I know a lot of
Speaker 1: people will say like don't talk about that because, you know,
Speaker 1: some people might want to avoid the topic of death.
Speaker 1: But I'm one of those people where like we need
Speaker 1: to talk about it because it's absolutely going to happen
Speaker 1: to every single one of us. I know that like
Speaker 1: might be absolutely terrifying, but I think the more that
Speaker 1: we talk about it, like the more we are okay with.
Speaker 3: It because in 80 years we're all going to be dead.
Speaker 2: Jesus, this is heavy.
Speaker 3: No, but I'm being serious. In 80 years we're all
Speaker 3: going to be dead.
Speaker 1: And this is kind of why I'm also being Tiffany
Speaker 1: lately because I'm like literally in 80 years, every single
Speaker 1: one of us is going to be dead.
Speaker 3: Sorry, I know that's grim.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I have the mental capacity to
Speaker 2: have this conversation today.
Speaker 3: I did tell you that we were talking about it
Speaker 3: at the start.
Speaker 1: But one thing I really want to do, which I
Speaker 1: keep saying I want to do is right now, I
Speaker 1: know I'm only 33, but no one's promised tomorrow. I
Speaker 1: want to write down what I would want at my funeral.
Speaker 1: In the case of me, you know, dying earlier than expected,
Speaker 1: I want.
Speaker 3: To write it out.
Speaker 2: Okay. Where would you start? What would be on your list?
Speaker 3: Um, I would want it to be, uh, fun.
Speaker 2: Uh huh.
Speaker 3: I wouldn't want it to be.
Speaker 2: Big piss up?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: We're all going hotel Jesmond and.
Speaker 3: Jesmond primary school.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I just think like.
Speaker 1: I think when it comes to like planning your funeral
Speaker 1: and like I talk to my nan about this all
Speaker 1: the time because my nan is very, like my nan's
Speaker 1: in her 80s and she's very realistic.
Speaker 3: Like she's like, we need to talk about these things.
Speaker 3: We need to have these conversations.
Speaker 1: And when often we think of like planning our funeral,
Speaker 1: you do think of doing it when you're like 70.
Speaker 3: But that's like if you're lucky enough to live to
Speaker 3: that age.
Speaker 1: A lot of people may die unexpectedly and then you
Speaker 1: haven't got a plan. So I kind of want to
Speaker 1: write out what I would want it to be like.
Speaker 1: But I would just want it to be fun and
Speaker 1: a celebration. Which I feel like every funeral honestly is.
Speaker 3: But I don't know. I'm thinking big party. Get dressed up.
Speaker 2: Just a lovely little Saturday Arvo. Get the girls around.
Speaker 2: Let's all write down what our funerals are like. We'll
Speaker 2: do a girl dinner.
Speaker 3: Honestly.
Speaker 1: And I know that's grim. And I know a lot
Speaker 1: of people really avoid this topic. But I don't know
Speaker 1: why people avoid this topic when it is... something that
Speaker 1: is absolutely going to happen to every single person. And
Speaker 1: that's why I just don't give a shit about what
Speaker 1: anyone says about me and the things that I do
Speaker 1: in life. We are all so held back from doing
Speaker 1: things because we have a fear of what others say.
Speaker 1: That's like the number one thing that holds anyone back.
Speaker 3: I don't want to do that. I don't want to
Speaker 3: post that video. I don't want to do this.
Speaker 1: I'm too scared, too worried about what other people think.
Speaker 1: Whereas I just feel completely opposite to that. Like we're
Speaker 1: literally definitely going to die. So why are we worrying
Speaker 1: about what other people think?
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, on this note.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I had a really interesting conversation recently with one of
Speaker 2: my friends who we're both just going through a bit
Speaker 2: of a moment where we're both just like, oh, a
Speaker 2: bit flat, all the rest of it. And we both
Speaker 2: said to each other, like, we're just in our ugly
Speaker 2: phase at the moment. Like we just feel ugly. You know,
Speaker 2: I'm very confident. I've come to terms with who I am,
Speaker 2: what I look like, whatever. And it's like, life is
Speaker 2: too short to worry about that sort of stuff, you know?
Speaker 2: We were having a conversation recently and we were just
Speaker 2: like admitting to each other, like, we just feel ugly.
Speaker 2: We just feel ugly. We're just in an ugly little
Speaker 2: moment in our lives. And I said, what is so
Speaker 2: wrong with being ugly? Like what is wrong with being
Speaker 2: ugly and leaning into I'm in an ugly face. Let's
Speaker 2: ride the ugly face out. I'll be back in my
Speaker 2: hot girl era at some point, but right now I'm
Speaker 2: going to be ugly and I'm going to sit in
Speaker 2: the ugly and I'm just going to accept that I'm
Speaker 2: ugly and and just be ugly.
Speaker 3: Well, as long as you're happy, that's what matters.
Speaker 2: And I think that really helped me be a little
Speaker 2: bit more happy is when I, I, cause I was
Speaker 2: just like, I just was going through a little bit
Speaker 2: of a phase a few weeks ago where every outfit
Speaker 2: I put on, I went, hate it. Doesn't look right
Speaker 2: on my body. Not. And these are clothes that I
Speaker 2: wear all the time. And all of a sudden I'm like, nah,
Speaker 2: my hair won't sit right. I'm like looking at my
Speaker 2: face in the mirror. I'm going, what's going on? Like this,
Speaker 2: these sorts of feelings haven't happened to me for years
Speaker 2: and years and years. Right.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: And, um, like I want to say like pre pandemic
Speaker 2: vibes since I've kind of looked at myself and picked
Speaker 2: myself apart and yeah, I don't know what it is.
Speaker 2: I don't know whether it's like the season, like, you know,
Speaker 2: everything's a bit gloomy at the moment. I don't know
Speaker 2: if like the world is a bit gloomy at the moment.
Speaker 2: I don't know if being on social media is a
Speaker 2: bit gloomy at the moment. I just am in one
Speaker 2: of those phases where I have started like picking myself
Speaker 2: apart again and just like, looking at myself in the
Speaker 2: mirror and being like, oh, what's going on here? You
Speaker 2: know what I mean? And then I just kind of
Speaker 2: flipped the narrative on that. And I went, okay, similar
Speaker 2: to what you just said. I could die tomorrow. Let's
Speaker 2: be ugly. Let's just be ugly. Do you know what
Speaker 2: I mean? Why not just be, what is so wrong
Speaker 2: with being ugly? Let's just be ugly, sit in that
Speaker 2: moment and then get over it eventually. Do you know
Speaker 2: what I mean? And move on and we'll be hot again.
Speaker 1: I think also like we are obviously all our own
Speaker 1: worst critic. I found myself doing this on my Europe trip.
Speaker 1: Usually when I go on holidays, I don't really give
Speaker 1: a shit about what I look like. But I think
Speaker 1: being in Europe and a lot of the venues that
Speaker 1: we were going to, everyone was so dressed up.
Speaker 3: Like what you see on Instagram.
Speaker 1: Like all the girlies looking 10 out of 10 in
Speaker 1: their outfits, that's what it's like over there. Well, at
Speaker 1: the places we were going to anyway. And so I
Speaker 1: started like having all these feelings of like I'm not
Speaker 1: dressed up enough.
Speaker 3: I don't look good enough.
Speaker 1: And then when you go on holiday naturally, you just
Speaker 1: eat and drink way more than you.
Speaker 3: Do, you know, on a normal day.
Speaker 1: So we were doing like breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, drinking
Speaker 1: every day. And then I started feeling like really bloated
Speaker 1: and gross and I started like putting outfits on and
Speaker 1: thinking I can't wear that because I look too bloated
Speaker 1: or people can tell that I'm really bloated. And I
Speaker 1: was like continuously clocking myself on the trip because I'm like,
Speaker 1: why do I care?
Speaker 2: Yeah. You know?
Speaker 1: Yeah. And so I guess my advice in this episode,
Speaker 1: besides a funeral advice, is if you're going on a holiday,
Speaker 1: don't give a fuck about what you look like. And
Speaker 1: I actually want to play you a little video that
Speaker 1: I saw from, do you know AJ? No.
Speaker 3: Not AJ, my AJ, AJ Paps.
Speaker 2: No, I don't think so, but I'm a face person.
Speaker 3: Anyway, he's this guy.
Speaker 2: This is the thing, I don't know anyone's names.
Speaker 1: He's from Australia and he like works in a sex shop,
Speaker 1: but he's just been in Europe and he posted this
Speaker 1: one video and I went, yes.
Speaker 3: Let me just play it out loud. One thing about
Speaker 3: me on holidays, I make whatever the fuck I want.
Speaker 2: I don't care if I get chunky. I eat to
Speaker 2: be happy. I don't eat for aesthetics and this and that.
Speaker 3: If I want five fucking custard tarts, you can have
Speaker 3: six wind up in front of me. So I want
Speaker 3: to give a shout out to AJ.
Speaker 1: Like his content at the moment is him like traveling overseas.
Speaker 1: And I just saw that after I'd been to Europe
Speaker 1: and I was like, you know what? Yes, because I
Speaker 1: got to the point on the trip where I started
Speaker 1: then choosing the healthy thing or not having something.
Speaker 3: I'm like, what am I doing? And I just saw
Speaker 3: him saying, if I want to eat five custard tarts.
Speaker 2: You better have six lined up in front of me.
Speaker 2: And can I just say, bloating is like the biggest, weirdest,
Speaker 2: like non-issue that has become an issue, in my opinion,
Speaker 2: when it comes to the way that we look. Because
Speaker 2: I just want to remind everyone, bloating is a normal
Speaker 2: bodily function.
Speaker 1: Yep.
Speaker 2: That is how the body functions. And if you get
Speaker 2: a bit bloated.
Speaker 1: Like social media in society has made it a bad thing.
Speaker 1: Like if your belly is bloated, like, and I do
Speaker 1: it myself. I'm like, I can't wear that singlet.
Speaker 3: It's too tight. And you can see that my stomach
Speaker 3: is bloating, but why do I think that way?
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like, why do we care that our stomach is bloated? Like,
Speaker 2: sorry that I ate a meal. Yeah. I'm physically don't bloat,
Speaker 2: you know? So it's, it's my car. I never have bloated.
Speaker 2: Cause it's just always bloated. Sort of. I'm just permanently bloated,
Speaker 2: so that's fine. But do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 2: I feel like that's, like, a non-issue. Like, it's so
Speaker 2: interesting why is, like, oh, I'm so bloated and, like, oh,
Speaker 2: I look so bloated. Like, why is that an issue? Like,
Speaker 2: bloating is a normal thing.
Speaker 3: Because we're all fucked in the head.
Speaker 2: I know. I know.
Speaker 3: We're all fucked in the head.
Speaker 1: So I just want you all to know, especially if
Speaker 1: you're going on holiday but just in life in general–
Speaker 1: No one gives a shit if you're bloated.
Speaker 2: I saw this video as well that I wouldn't be
Speaker 2: able to find now, but it was this girl critiquing
Speaker 2: like Disney movies and saying like, why do we as
Speaker 2: women act the way we are? Or maybe it's because
Speaker 2: we watched these movies when we were younger. And it
Speaker 2: was like all the princesses were, you know, having to
Speaker 2: be saved by men. Ariel literally gives up her voice
Speaker 2: for a man. All of the people with power, like
Speaker 2: all the women who are powerful, other villains like Maleficent
Speaker 2: and things like that. And, you know, Sleeping Beauty woken
Speaker 2: up by a kiss of true love and blah, blah, blah. And, like,
Speaker 2: she really broke down, like, all the Disney princesses and
Speaker 2: all the reasons why, you know, Disney princesses are seen as, like,
Speaker 2: such a girly thing. And it's, like, such a when
Speaker 2: you're a little girl, like, you look up to these
Speaker 2: Disney princesses. But realistically, if you break down the storylines,
Speaker 2: the Disney princesses actually. And I think the only difference
Speaker 2: is with Frozen, potentially.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: But I think Frozen might be different altogether because it's like,
Speaker 2: you know, the story of sisters and things like that.
Speaker 2: But yeah, she broke down all the Disney princesses and
Speaker 2: it was like, okay, yeah, we think of Cinderella and like,
Speaker 2: or Ariel and like all these fabulous like Disney princesses,
Speaker 2: like role models for these little girls. But like, if
Speaker 2: you actually break down the story, they like shouldn't be
Speaker 2: role models at all.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Because it's all actually male centered.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: I love where this episode has gone.
Speaker 1: I love that we started at funerals. Yeah.
Speaker 3: And now we're talking about Disney princesses.
Speaker 2: This is what we do here at High Scrollers. But
Speaker 2: I think lessons for today's episode. Lesson number one, figure
Speaker 2: out what you want your funeral to look like.
Speaker 1: Honestly, and don't be scared of it. Because if I
Speaker 1: was to die tomorrow, I would rather have died with
Speaker 1: a plan rather than my loved ones having.
Speaker 3: To think of it for me.
Speaker 2: Stress about it, yeah.
Speaker 3: And they would do a great job. I'm sure you'd
Speaker 3: be involved, Matt.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: But, you know, like I would rather have that planned.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: And it can be anything you want.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Your funeral can be anything you want. I'd get the
Speaker 3: coffin confessor there for sure.
Speaker 2: Really? What would you have to confess?
Speaker 1: Well, if I died suddenly and didn't get a chance
Speaker 1: to say what I really wanted to say.
Speaker 2: Oh, okay. So your coffin confessor would read out Tiffany's
Speaker 2: list of problems with everyone.
Speaker 3: Bill Edgar.
Speaker 1: I love that guy. Look him up if you don't
Speaker 1: remember that episode. Look up the coffin confessor on TikTok.
Speaker 1: You can pay him to go to your funeral to
Speaker 1: say anything you want.
Speaker 2: Other lessons? Just be ugly. And be okay with that.
Speaker 2: What's wrong with being ugly? Another lesson. Bloating is a non-issue. Normal.
Speaker 1: Normal.
Speaker 2: Bloating is normal. Okay? And the last lesson is India.
Speaker 2: We'll see you next Tuesday.