WEBVTT - Self Love Mini Series Day 1 (E) 

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<v Speaker 1>Hello, beautiful beans, and welcome to the podcast episode of today.

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<v Speaker 1>So in today's episode, we are going to be starting

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<v Speaker 1>our mini series on self love. So this is five

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<v Speaker 1>days in a row. I'm going to aim to make

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<v Speaker 1>these episodes around the fifteen minute mark, but don't sue

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<v Speaker 1>me if it goes over, because we all know how

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<v Speaker 1>much I love to talk. Sorry, I near I just

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<v Speaker 1>choke to myself because I've got reflux because I'm hopingly pregnant.

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<v Speaker 2>Anyway, we all know how much I love to talk,

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<v Speaker 2>So the chances of this going higher than the fifteen

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<v Speaker 2>minute mark is significantly high. Anyway, I've done a whole

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<v Speaker 2>bunch of self love episodes in the past. We've talked,

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<v Speaker 2>we've spoken about confidence, self love in general, self respect,

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<v Speaker 2>how to act implement self love, what self love actually is,

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<v Speaker 2>how to improve on it, what it is, what it

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<v Speaker 2>isn't everything. So this mini series is.

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<v Speaker 1>Going to compile a lot of the things that I've

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<v Speaker 1>shared and more over the last five years of the

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<v Speaker 1>podcast in a way that's kind of bite sized, in

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<v Speaker 1>a way that hopefully it gets embedded better into your

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<v Speaker 1>mind because we're doing it every day for five days.

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<v Speaker 1>I would love for you to also be writing things

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<v Speaker 1>down that resonate with you. When you write it down,

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<v Speaker 1>you're more likely to remember it you read it out repetition.

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<v Speaker 1>It's the best. Okay, So let's dive straight in. I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not going to give a life update. I'm not going

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<v Speaker 1>to give any of that. We're not doing a brain factor.

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<v Speaker 1>We're diving straight in because, like I said, I'm giving

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<v Speaker 1>myself fifteen minutes. Okay, let's begin. We're doing self love.

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<v Speaker 1>So the first thing that I wanted to talk about

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<v Speaker 1>in this episode is self love has nothing to do

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<v Speaker 1>with being up yourself. Okay. It is quiet confidence. That's

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<v Speaker 1>how I want you to think about real self love,

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<v Speaker 1>a quiet confidence within yourself. It doesn't feel loud, it

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<v Speaker 1>does not feel competitive with yourself, and it doesn't feel

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<v Speaker 1>competitive with other people. It's fine to have like healthy

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<v Speaker 1>competition with yourself, but that's not what we're talking about.

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<v Speaker 1>When it comes to self love. It's not forced. It's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of this steady relationship with yourself. Okay. Being up

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<v Speaker 1>yourself quote unquote is kind of an insecurity in disguise. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>The next thing that I want you to think about

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<v Speaker 1>is that your relationship with yourself. What we're working on

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<v Speaker 1>over the next five days, sets the tone for everything

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<v Speaker 1>else in your life. It sets the tone for every

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<v Speaker 1>other relationship in your life. It sets the tone for

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<v Speaker 1>your relationship with your career, with your abilities, with you know,

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<v Speaker 1>your mental health, with absolutely everything. If you can really

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<v Speaker 1>focus on honing in on your relationship with yourself, it

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<v Speaker 1>will influence and determine the outcome of almost everything else

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<v Speaker 1>in your life. Okay, it's kind of like your relationship

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<v Speaker 1>with your brain and your mind and your mental health,

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<v Speaker 1>and it all time into this one thing, and that's

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<v Speaker 1>your relationship with yourself. So how you talk to yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>how you treat yourself, what you do with yourself when

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<v Speaker 1>the chips are down, How do you pick yourself back

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<v Speaker 1>up again? Do you pick yourself back up again? Do

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<v Speaker 1>you think you can rely on yourself? Do you think

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<v Speaker 1>that you can have your back if things go wrong?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you only ever seek external validation versus validating yourself?

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<v Speaker 1>Do you ever trust your own gut without trying to

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<v Speaker 1>get ten other people to agree with you before you

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<v Speaker 1>feel confident in doing that thing? All these things reflect

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<v Speaker 1>how you then experience everything else in your life. One

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<v Speaker 1>major thing that we do when we really struggle with

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<v Speaker 1>self love is that we outsource our self worth constantly, right,

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<v Speaker 1>We look for anything other than ourselves to prove that

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<v Speaker 1>we're good enough. Not that we're amazing, because when you

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<v Speaker 1>have lower levels of self love, we don't often really

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<v Speaker 1>feel that way anyway, but that we're good enough. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>So here we are outsourcing our self worth. Does this

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<v Speaker 1>person think I'm good enough? Is this person complimenting me?

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<v Speaker 1>Is this person agreeing with what I'm saying? You almost

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<v Speaker 1>feel like you can't go and say something or do

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<v Speaker 1>something until you get this kind of approval. And it's

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<v Speaker 1>not like you're out there constantly seeking approval from people,

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<v Speaker 1>but it's this silent approval that you're looking for. It's

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<v Speaker 1>kind of these You're always looking for clues that people

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<v Speaker 1>will validate your existing beliefs or how you feel or

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<v Speaker 1>what you're about to do. You will, you know, let's

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<v Speaker 1>say you want to move somewhere. Let's say you want

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<v Speaker 1>to do something with your life. Let's say you want

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<v Speaker 1>to change careers. None of this seems possible unless you

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<v Speaker 1>have like an army of people or a select number

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<v Speaker 1>of people that kind of agree with you. And when

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<v Speaker 1>you do that, you are outsourcing your self worth. You're

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<v Speaker 1>basically saying people's opinions of my body, of my choices,

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<v Speaker 1>of my aesthetic, of my career, of anything is more

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<v Speaker 1>important than mine. The moment you say that you are

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<v Speaker 1>your self love, your relationship with yourself suffers. There is

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<v Speaker 1>nothing wrong with seeking people's opinion. There's nothing wrong with

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<v Speaker 1>asking people if they agree or disagree, especially if they're

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<v Speaker 1>a mentor, especially if they've gone through what you've gone through,

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<v Speaker 1>especially if you really respect where they're out and how

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<v Speaker 1>they view a situation. But when you look at that

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<v Speaker 1>from everything, and when you think I can't make a

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<v Speaker 1>new move or do something differently until I get that approval,

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<v Speaker 1>you're literally saying to yourself, I'm outsourcing myself worth. I

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<v Speaker 1>can't do this for myself. Another thing that I want

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<v Speaker 1>you to really think about is do a bit of

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<v Speaker 1>an inventory. And this is an exercise that I want

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<v Speaker 1>you to do today if you can. But what are

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<v Speaker 1>the main things? Not everything? Because we're not here to

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<v Speaker 1>put ourselves down, and I don't want this exercise to

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<v Speaker 1>be like, Wow, I'm really mean to myself. But what

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<v Speaker 1>are kind of the key things where you notice negative

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<v Speaker 1>self talk crop up is it with body image, is

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<v Speaker 1>it with your abilities? Might not be confident with your

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<v Speaker 1>abilities within your career? Like where is it that you

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<v Speaker 1>notice this negative self talk crop up? And you're going

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<v Speaker 1>to realize just just mention the first few, Okay, you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to realize that so many of these things have

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<v Speaker 1>been borrowed. You either borrow it from hearing other people

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<v Speaker 1>talk about it all the time. Maybe you were told

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<v Speaker 1>these things within your career or within like how you

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<v Speaker 1>grew up. Maybe your parents always spoke this way and

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<v Speaker 1>you're just reflecting that language. But a lot of negative

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<v Speaker 1>self talk is borrowed. So when you do this kind

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<v Speaker 1>of inventory on just the key things, don't go it.

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<v Speaker 1>Don't don't make it this fucking negative spiral that you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to go down. But just think, yeah, wow, I'm

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<v Speaker 1>actually quite harsh on myself every time I look in

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<v Speaker 1>the mirror, and then I remember that, you know, that's

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<v Speaker 1>just a reflection of what I grew up observing, or

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<v Speaker 1>it's a reflection of how all my friends talk about

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<v Speaker 1>their own bodies, or maybe the content that I am

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<v Speaker 1>personally served on social media. It is often borrowed. So

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<v Speaker 1>you're going to think, thank you very much, No thank

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<v Speaker 1>you return to sender. Okay, if you find yourself another

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<v Speaker 1>the next point, if you find yourself in comparison, you're

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<v Speaker 1>going to realize that comparison creates isolation. Okay. When we

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<v Speaker 1>compare ourselves all the time in order to gauge where

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<v Speaker 1>we are at, you are creating isolation. You separate yourself,

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<v Speaker 1>whether it's upwards comparison or whether it's downwards comparison. And

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<v Speaker 1>I'm going to be talking about that kind of comparison

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<v Speaker 1>a lot more over the next five days. But upwards

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<v Speaker 1>comparison is where you put yourself down because you're comparing

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<v Speaker 1>yourself to people that you deem to be quite unquite

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<v Speaker 1>better than you, hotter than you, more successful than you,

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<v Speaker 1>luckier than you, more privileged than you, all the different

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<v Speaker 1>more that you can think of. That's upwards comparison. That

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't feel good because you're saying they're better than me.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not good enough, they're better than me. If you

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<v Speaker 1>do downwards comparison, that's you saying, well, at least I'm

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<v Speaker 1>not XYZ, at least I'm not this person. At least

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not that person at least, which we it feels

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<v Speaker 1>good in the moment, because you think, oh, yeah, true, God,

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not that bad, I'm not that unattractive, I'm not

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<v Speaker 1>that unsuccessful, and I'm not that much of a failure.

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<v Speaker 1>But what that then brings up is complacency. You think,

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<v Speaker 1>I just need to find comparisons that put other people

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<v Speaker 1>down so I can feel some level of satisfaction in

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<v Speaker 1>my life. None of downward comparison. Firstly, we don't really

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<v Speaker 1>know what's going on in other people's lives. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>think it's helpful to compare yourself to other people. Secondly,

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<v Speaker 1>it creates a sense of complacency because it forces you

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<v Speaker 1>to kind of or it doesn't force you, but it

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<v Speaker 1>puts you in a state where you're just looking at well,

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<v Speaker 1>at least I'm not this, so now I can relax.

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<v Speaker 1>So there's no you're not being proactive. You're not actually

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<v Speaker 1>doing anything to make yourself feel better about your current situation.

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<v Speaker 1>And then you have this false sense of reality when

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<v Speaker 1>you do downward comparison, because everything kind of you look

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<v Speaker 1>at things more from like a reactive lens instead of proactive,

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<v Speaker 1>happier lens. Okay, so when you do that kind of

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<v Speaker 1>comparison upwards or downwards, you ultimately end up isolating yourself

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<v Speaker 1>instead of thinking, you know, everyone is where they're at,

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<v Speaker 1>wherever they're at, I can learn from people. It's fine

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<v Speaker 1>to do downward comparison in the sense of like, wow,

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<v Speaker 1>seeing how that outcome happened for that person has really

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<v Speaker 1>taught me this about how I could approach things differently.

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<v Speaker 1>So it's not so much I'm better than this person

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<v Speaker 1>because of this. You could be like, I can learn

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<v Speaker 1>lessons from what that person went through. I can you

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<v Speaker 1>know X, y Z. But the more you notice yourself

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<v Speaker 1>lean into these kinds of comparisons, for good or for bad,

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<v Speaker 1>you are going to isolate yourself and you're going to

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<v Speaker 1>feel less connected. And the less connected we feel with

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<v Speaker 1>other people, the less connected we feel with ourselves and

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<v Speaker 1>with our mental health and with our levels of happiness. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>since now true self worth the next point, True self

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<v Speaker 1>worth can not be taken away. Okay. If you can

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<v Speaker 1>build value within your character, within yourself and your actions,

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<v Speaker 1>that can't be taken away. So I often talk about,

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<v Speaker 1>you know, when it comes to self love, when it

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<v Speaker 1>comes to self respect, when it comes to achieving things

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<v Speaker 1>in your life that make you feel good about who

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<v Speaker 1>you are, As a person, you want to aim for

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<v Speaker 1>things that cannot be taken away. Okay, It's not something

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<v Speaker 1>that you can buy, borrow, or steal. It's something that

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<v Speaker 1>you have earned. And self worth, your relationship with yourself

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<v Speaker 1>is something that you earn through doing the psychological exercises,

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<v Speaker 1>through treating yourself better, through starting to speak to yourself better,

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<v Speaker 1>different habits, different behaviors, and then your relationship starts to

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<v Speaker 1>change and you earned that. It's not something that one

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<v Speaker 1>comment can dissolve because you've earned it. It can't be

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<v Speaker 1>taken away. Someone can't take away something that you've earned. Okay.

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<v Speaker 1>So for me, when I talk about how can I

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<v Speaker 1>start to feel better about myself, I look at my

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<v Speaker 1>day to day structure and I think, what is it

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<v Speaker 1>right now that I'm doing where I feel like I'm

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<v Speaker 1>earning something. So for example, when I was studying, it

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<v Speaker 1>felt really good because I'm like, this can never be

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<v Speaker 1>taken away. Once I get this qualification, whether I use

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<v Speaker 1>it or not, it can never be taken away earned that, Like,

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<v Speaker 1>that's something that I can say I did that. You know,

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<v Speaker 1>if you ran a marathon, So I'm talking about external

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<v Speaker 1>things as an example, but if you did all these things.

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<v Speaker 1>It feels good because you're like, this can never be

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<v Speaker 1>taken away from me. So then look at it from

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<v Speaker 1>like a self love perspective. How can I do things

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<v Speaker 1>where I feel like I've earned something that can never

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<v Speaker 1>be stripped away from me? Is it in how I

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<v Speaker 1>treat myself in the mornings, my morning routine, The ten

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<v Speaker 1>minutes I get where I wake up before the rest

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<v Speaker 1>of the household alone just with myself. That's earned. No

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<v Speaker 1>one can take that shit away from me. And the

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<v Speaker 1>more you can implement earned things that you do for

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<v Speaker 1>yourself throughout the day, I can guarantee you, the better

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<v Speaker 1>your relationship with yourself is going to be. It's just

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<v Speaker 1>going to get better and better and better and better.

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<v Speaker 1>You'll be thriving. The next point that I want to

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<v Speaker 1>touch on is that your brain can be rewired. Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want you to fall into this habit of

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<v Speaker 1>being like you know, oh, it's like epigenetics. I've just

0:11:56.679 --> 0:11:59.920
<v Speaker 1>inherited this mindset from my parents or from you know whoever.

0:12:00.160 --> 0:12:03.040
<v Speaker 1>In my family, everyone is kind of like this. My

0:12:03.160 --> 0:12:05.559
<v Speaker 1>whole friendship group is like this. If I started talking

0:12:05.559 --> 0:12:08.560
<v Speaker 1>positively about myself, everyone would think this way. Everyone, we

0:12:08.640 --> 0:12:12.960
<v Speaker 1>get ourselves stuck, and we then will look at biases confirmations, left,

0:12:13.040 --> 0:12:16.240
<v Speaker 1>right and center to prove wide is that we shouldn't

0:12:16.320 --> 0:12:17.760
<v Speaker 1>change or we can't change, or why it's going to be

0:12:17.840 --> 0:12:21.680
<v Speaker 1>so difficult for us to change. Change is inevitable. Things

0:12:21.679 --> 0:12:23.640
<v Speaker 1>are going to change in your life constantly, so you

0:12:23.720 --> 0:12:26.480
<v Speaker 1>might as well roll with it and contribute to those changes.

0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:28.880
<v Speaker 1>You might as well be in control of those changes.

0:12:29.200 --> 0:12:31.520
<v Speaker 1>So I want you to look at your brain as

0:12:31.559 --> 0:12:34.840
<v Speaker 1>something that's constantly being wired and rewired and wide and rewired.

0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 1>A lot of the time it's not in our control

0:12:37.040 --> 0:12:40.880
<v Speaker 1>or we don't realize it's happening, and it's unintentional rewiring.

0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.680
<v Speaker 1>So neuroplasticity can happen for the good or for the bad.

0:12:43.920 --> 0:12:46.960
<v Speaker 1>But then there's self directed neuroplasticity, and that is where

0:12:47.400 --> 0:12:50.520
<v Speaker 1>you are directing change, where you are rewriting these thoughts,

0:12:50.520 --> 0:12:54.160
<v Speaker 1>where you are looking at what's borrowed negative self talk

0:12:54.280 --> 0:12:56.200
<v Speaker 1>or what are habits that aren't really working for me?

0:12:56.559 --> 0:12:58.440
<v Speaker 1>Or what's something that I can earn to start making

0:12:58.520 --> 0:13:01.880
<v Speaker 1>myself feel better about about me my relationship with me. Okay,

0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:06.080
<v Speaker 1>that will start to rewire your brain. It doesn't matter

0:13:06.120 --> 0:13:08.000
<v Speaker 1>who you were born to, it doesn't matter who you

0:13:08.040 --> 0:13:09.920
<v Speaker 1>hang out with. As long as you start to become

0:13:09.960 --> 0:13:12.960
<v Speaker 1>aware of what these triggers are, things will begin to

0:13:13.040 --> 0:13:16.199
<v Speaker 1>change for you. What used to be subconscious becomes conscious.

0:13:16.320 --> 0:13:19.040
<v Speaker 1>What used to be the norm becomes something that piques

0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.400
<v Speaker 1>your attention, being like, wait a minute, that's actually not normal.

0:13:22.520 --> 0:13:24.520
<v Speaker 1>That is actually not fucking normal. I don't have need

0:13:24.559 --> 0:13:25.920
<v Speaker 1>to behave like this. I don't need to talk to

0:13:25.960 --> 0:13:28.319
<v Speaker 1>myself in that way. I don't need to do this shit. Okay.

0:13:28.800 --> 0:13:31.440
<v Speaker 1>And then lastly, and this is one of my favorite

0:13:31.440 --> 0:13:34.720
<v Speaker 1>things that I love to do, is to draw a

0:13:34.800 --> 0:13:37.560
<v Speaker 1>line in the sand. I love line in the sand.

0:13:37.640 --> 0:13:39.720
<v Speaker 1>Moments in my life. There's big lines in the sand,

0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:41.880
<v Speaker 1>like when I moved countries, when I had a child,

0:13:42.000 --> 0:13:45.200
<v Speaker 1>when I got a divorce. Like there's massive lines in

0:13:45.240 --> 0:13:47.400
<v Speaker 1>the sand in your life where you're like, wow, my

0:13:47.480 --> 0:13:49.960
<v Speaker 1>life changed from that moment. But you can also do

0:13:50.080 --> 0:13:53.000
<v Speaker 1>smaller lines in the sand that are really significant to you.

0:13:53.320 --> 0:13:55.560
<v Speaker 1>So when you want to start this self love journey,

0:13:55.559 --> 0:13:59.520
<v Speaker 1>whenever you're ready, ideally it's now, because why not. I

0:13:59.559 --> 0:14:01.280
<v Speaker 1>want you to draw a line in the sand, and

0:14:01.320 --> 0:14:04.280
<v Speaker 1>I want you to say to yourself. Everything that's happened

0:14:04.360 --> 0:14:08.200
<v Speaker 1>before now is before this line, and everything that's going

0:14:08.280 --> 0:14:10.800
<v Speaker 1>to happen after will be after this line. This is

0:14:10.840 --> 0:14:13.040
<v Speaker 1>the line in the sand, and that it's a no

0:14:13.120 --> 0:14:16.160
<v Speaker 1>judgment zone. It's just the new version of me that's

0:14:16.200 --> 0:14:19.520
<v Speaker 1>going to emerge. You almost want to be appreciative of

0:14:19.640 --> 0:14:22.160
<v Speaker 1>the old version of you, because if you then start saying,

0:14:22.200 --> 0:14:24.800
<v Speaker 1>oh the fu fucking idiot, fucking idiot, old me who

0:14:24.880 --> 0:14:26.920
<v Speaker 1>used to fucking say this shit, and now I've got

0:14:26.960 --> 0:14:29.840
<v Speaker 1>to undo it and fucking fuck you, now you've made

0:14:29.840 --> 0:14:32.320
<v Speaker 1>my life more difficult, then fuck the line in the sand,

0:14:32.360 --> 0:14:34.040
<v Speaker 1>because that's not gonna work. You want to look at

0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.000
<v Speaker 1>it as thank you for everything that I've learned, thank

0:14:36.000 --> 0:14:37.800
<v Speaker 1>you for all these lessons, thank you for putting up

0:14:37.800 --> 0:14:41.080
<v Speaker 1>with all the bullshit that I put you through. It's

0:14:41.120 --> 0:14:43.200
<v Speaker 1>over now, we are changing it. This is a line

0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:47.280
<v Speaker 1>in the sand, and from today, I'm never going to

0:14:47.360 --> 0:14:52.000
<v Speaker 1>allow myself to just spiral or get away with talking

0:14:52.040 --> 0:14:55.000
<v Speaker 1>horribly to myself. There'll be moments where I slip up

0:14:55.040 --> 0:14:56.880
<v Speaker 1>and I talk like shit to myself. There'll be moments

0:14:56.920 --> 0:14:58.720
<v Speaker 1>where I have a really bad day and I don't

0:14:58.760 --> 0:15:01.320
<v Speaker 1>want to get out and I don't feel like I

0:15:01.320 --> 0:15:03.120
<v Speaker 1>look good unless someone tells me I look good. And

0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.000
<v Speaker 1>that's fine because you're on that journey. But that won't

0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:09.040
<v Speaker 1>go unchecked when it happens next time, I'm going to

0:15:09.040 --> 0:15:12.240
<v Speaker 1>be like, I'm aware of this. I'm aware this is happening,

0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.920
<v Speaker 1>and this is just reminiscent of my old self and

0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:18.480
<v Speaker 1>I'm learning a different way. Okay, So over the next

0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.400
<v Speaker 1>few days we're going to go into exact tips and

0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:24.080
<v Speaker 1>tricks and tools that you can start implementing into your day.

0:15:24.080 --> 0:15:26.800
<v Speaker 1>But for today, the main thing that I want you

0:15:27.320 --> 0:15:32.160
<v Speaker 1>to remember is that agreeing with people who put you

0:15:32.200 --> 0:15:34.840
<v Speaker 1>down all the time is abandoning yourself. We don't need

0:15:34.880 --> 0:15:38.400
<v Speaker 1>to abandon ourselves in order to fit in. Okay, So

0:15:38.520 --> 0:15:41.440
<v Speaker 1>next time you're talking to someone and they say something,

0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:45.120
<v Speaker 1>it's so simple to just be like, that's really interesting

0:15:45.160 --> 0:15:47.680
<v Speaker 1>instead of agreeing with them. That's one of the first

0:15:47.720 --> 0:15:49.960
<v Speaker 1>things you can do for yourself love. Start standing up

0:15:49.960 --> 0:15:54.080
<v Speaker 1>for yourself. Start you know, listening to what you care

0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:55.760
<v Speaker 1>about and what you want to say, and then your

0:15:55.800 --> 0:16:00.600
<v Speaker 1>self respect is going to go up. Remember that confidence

0:16:00.680 --> 0:16:03.880
<v Speaker 1>is not about being loud, it's about liking who you are.

0:16:03.920 --> 0:16:07.280
<v Speaker 1>It's about feeling comfortable within yourself. So that can only

0:16:07.360 --> 0:16:10.200
<v Speaker 1>occur when you start saying it's okay for me to

0:16:10.200 --> 0:16:12.800
<v Speaker 1>do this without seeking external approval, It's okay for me

0:16:12.840 --> 0:16:15.080
<v Speaker 1>to wear this outfit without sending it to all my

0:16:15.080 --> 0:16:17.360
<v Speaker 1>friends and for them to say that it's okay. The

0:16:17.400 --> 0:16:20.560
<v Speaker 1>more little, tiny things that you can do without seeking

0:16:20.600 --> 0:16:23.200
<v Speaker 1>external approval, the easy it's going to be to do

0:16:23.240 --> 0:16:25.760
<v Speaker 1>the bigger things. Okay. So, for example, this is such

0:16:25.800 --> 0:16:29.760
<v Speaker 1>a minor thing, such a minor thing, but I am

0:16:29.800 --> 0:16:33.120
<v Speaker 1>not telling anyone the names of my children. And it's

0:16:33.160 --> 0:16:37.600
<v Speaker 1>because I love the names that I've selected, and I

0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:41.160
<v Speaker 1>love them so much that I don't want anyone's energy,

0:16:41.240 --> 0:16:45.520
<v Speaker 1>bad juju bullshit to interfere with what I choose to

0:16:45.560 --> 0:16:48.440
<v Speaker 1>call my children. And I'm like, I know many people

0:16:48.480 --> 0:16:50.960
<v Speaker 1>aren't gonna you know, everyone's got their own opinions. You know,

0:16:51.160 --> 0:16:55.280
<v Speaker 1>everyone's gonna have whatever they think about the names, But like,

0:16:55.400 --> 0:16:57.400
<v Speaker 1>talk about it behind my back like a normal person.

0:16:57.440 --> 0:17:00.080
<v Speaker 1>If I say a name to your face before all

0:17:00.120 --> 0:17:02.280
<v Speaker 1>the kids are born, then people are gonna be like, oh,

0:17:02.280 --> 0:17:04.520
<v Speaker 1>I don't know about that name. Oh are you serious? Really?

0:17:04.560 --> 0:17:06.879
<v Speaker 1>Do you actually like that name? Versus when I've just

0:17:06.880 --> 0:17:09.680
<v Speaker 1>been like, here's the fucking name. Can't after they're born

0:17:09.760 --> 0:17:11.680
<v Speaker 1>and they don't have to listen to your shit, because

0:17:11.680 --> 0:17:15.000
<v Speaker 1>you're going to feel less comfortable dragging the name through

0:17:15.000 --> 0:17:17.760
<v Speaker 1>the dirt when this person already exists. So that's just

0:17:17.800 --> 0:17:20.120
<v Speaker 1>a small example of what you could be doing for

0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:22.919
<v Speaker 1>yourself as well. Okay, stop seeking a proof of for

0:17:23.000 --> 0:17:25.639
<v Speaker 1>every single decision if you're happy with it, if you

0:17:25.680 --> 0:17:28.000
<v Speaker 1>don't actually need advice on how to get you know,

0:17:28.240 --> 0:17:30.760
<v Speaker 1>like sometimes you actually need advice from an expert or

0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.200
<v Speaker 1>from memento. If you don't need those things, if it's

0:17:33.240 --> 0:17:35.880
<v Speaker 1>outfit related, if it's all these things, just do it.

0:17:36.160 --> 0:17:38.440
<v Speaker 1>You're going to start to increase your confidence. And then

0:17:38.480 --> 0:17:40.720
<v Speaker 1>when you have confidence for the little things, you're gonna

0:17:40.720 --> 0:17:42.520
<v Speaker 1>be able to get confidence for the much bigger things

0:17:42.520 --> 0:17:44.600
<v Speaker 1>in your life. Okay, most of the stuff that you

0:17:44.600 --> 0:17:46.240
<v Speaker 1>say to yourself, most of the crap that you say

0:17:46.280 --> 0:17:49.280
<v Speaker 1>to yourself, you've heard it before from someone else. Okay,

0:17:49.320 --> 0:17:52.280
<v Speaker 1>it's not original, and you can say that to just

0:17:52.320 --> 0:17:54.840
<v Speaker 1>remind yourself this is not original. This is a regurgitation.

0:17:55.000 --> 0:17:57.400
<v Speaker 1>I don't need this anymore. Okay, thank you very much.

0:17:57.440 --> 0:18:01.840
<v Speaker 1>You've come with me. This far, we say goodbye now. Guys,

0:18:01.840 --> 0:18:04.480
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for listening to today's first episode

0:18:04.480 --> 0:18:07.359
<v Speaker 1>of the Self Love Series. Tune in Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday,

0:18:07.400 --> 0:18:10.080
<v Speaker 1>Friday for the rest and write down the things that

0:18:10.240 --> 0:18:12.960
<v Speaker 1>really kind of resonated with you loving us so much

0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:15.320
<v Speaker 1>as always remembered. Be kind to yourself, becind to your brain.

0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.639
<v Speaker 1>Don't text it from anyone, especially, don't text it from yourself.

0:18:18.840 --> 0:18:19.040
<v Speaker 1>Doug