WEBVTT - #1895 Dr. Cam 2.0 - Dr. Cam McDonald 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:01.280 I got team. 0:00:01.280 --> 0:00:04.240 Welcome to another bloody episode of the Bloody You Project. 0:00:04.280 --> 0:00:07.760 It's bloody Doctor Cam and bloody Doctor Tiff, just chiming 0:00:07.760 --> 0:00:11.160 in from all around different parts of the globe. Tiff 0:00:11.400 --> 0:00:15.920 is doing some allegedly some home improvements which are not 0:00:16.000 --> 0:00:19.240 working out or office improvements which aren't working out that well. 0:00:20.400 --> 0:00:23.200 So the old financial shortcut didn't really do it, Tiff. 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:26.040 Well that was quite a while ago. That story that 0:00:26.320 --> 0:00:30.240 smashing the right smashing that, but yes, no true story 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:30.400 of that. 0:00:31.280 --> 0:00:34.960 So you accidentally smashed your expensive computer screen. 0:00:34.960 --> 0:00:39.080 Yep, in the rush to set up my bargain standing 0:00:39.159 --> 0:00:41.200 desk that I was excited about. 0:00:42.000 --> 0:00:44.080 Well, that's what happens. 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:51.440 That's what happens, Doctor Cam from Shay Wellness and other places. 0:00:51.520 --> 0:00:56.360 Hi, Hi Craig, Hi Tiff, Hi are you all right? 0:00:56.760 --> 0:00:58.160 You are right. 0:00:58.600 --> 0:01:03.640 I'm actually better I've ever been. I'm on I'm on 0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:04.720 top level at the moment. 0:01:05.440 --> 0:01:07.760 Why is that tell us, grasshopper. 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:17.120 I went to Bali for a specific intention of some big, 0:01:17.319 --> 0:01:25.240 deep dark subconscious clearing MM and found some hefty nuggets 0:01:25.520 --> 0:01:30.200 and released them. I'm life has a different lens. 0:01:30.560 --> 0:01:31.080 It's great. 0:01:31.360 --> 0:01:33.560 We're getting too much detailed to day I know we've 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:35.000 got stuff on, but it's. 0:01:36.000 --> 0:01:37.440 Not I'm happy to go wherever. 0:01:37.520 --> 0:01:40.279 What a subconscious clearing mean in the world of Doctor 0:01:40.360 --> 0:01:44.160 cam and for all us non GENIEI, what is that? 0:01:45.280 --> 0:01:48.440 Well, it's a bit more to it than that, but 0:01:48.680 --> 0:01:51.040 essentially it's a it's an environment you turn up in 0:01:51.080 --> 0:01:52.920 like the way that it's run. You turn up where 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:56.280 you're eating exactly the food that's right for you, you're 0:01:56.320 --> 0:01:58.800 doing the right kind of exercise for you, you're running 0:01:58.800 --> 0:02:00.640 the rhythms of your day the way supposed to. And 0:02:00.680 --> 0:02:04.840 then based on your history and all that sort of 0:02:04.880 --> 0:02:09.000 stuff and a number of consultations you have at the beginning, 0:02:09.040 --> 0:02:11.520 they kind of get a bit of an idea of like, 0:02:11.600 --> 0:02:13.840 what are the things that are holding you back on 0:02:13.919 --> 0:02:17.680 a whole bunch of different levels. And so then for 0:02:18.160 --> 0:02:23.040 seven days it was four to five sessions per day 0:02:23.280 --> 0:02:29.200 on identifying these emotional blocks. So subconscious in this could 0:02:29.200 --> 0:02:33.560 be a memory from my childhood of Mum and Dad 0:02:33.560 --> 0:02:35.639 having an argument about how they're going to parent me. 0:02:36.480 --> 0:02:38.760 Mum wanting to hold the rules, Dad wanting to go 0:02:38.800 --> 0:02:42.440 in with love. And as I go back and remember that, 0:02:42.560 --> 0:02:48.079 it transforms into this, Oh Mum just preferred rules over kids, 0:02:48.520 --> 0:02:52.400 and if you are too loving, then it's you're going 0:02:52.480 --> 0:02:54.160 to have some sort of conflict. There's going to be 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:57.959 resistance to the love. And so there's lots of different examples, 0:02:58.000 --> 0:02:59.560 and we go through a whole lot of different things 0:02:59.600 --> 0:03:02.799 as we go, but essentially you go back and you 0:03:02.960 --> 0:03:05.400 dig down into those things and it turns out that 0:03:07.160 --> 0:03:10.880 and I thought I was pretty good emotionally intelligent, but 0:03:11.080 --> 0:03:16.440 just my ability to feel was virtually zero. I was 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.920 just holding it all as a cognitive exercise in my head, 0:03:20.440 --> 0:03:23.720 and so just creating a safe environment where I could 0:03:23.760 --> 0:03:28.040 go into start feeling those things. And there was a 0:03:28.080 --> 0:03:33.760 big nugget of lack of worth, unlovability, fear of failure, 0:03:34.560 --> 0:03:36.400 and I think they're very very common to a lot 0:03:36.400 --> 0:03:39.960 of people. Not everyone hasn't. But on day six, I 0:03:40.000 --> 0:03:43.000 had like one of the most intense days of my life, 0:03:43.240 --> 0:03:46.560 just sort of exercising demons with what it felt like 0:03:46.560 --> 0:03:47.440 like just the. 0:03:47.400 --> 0:03:48.920 Amount of emotion that was coming out. 0:03:50.000 --> 0:03:55.360 And life is very, very very different. On the other side, 0:03:55.480 --> 0:03:57.920 it's like I don't have that nagging little voice of 0:03:58.040 --> 0:04:00.960 that I think, so it's like there's just no voice. Now, 0:04:01.120 --> 0:04:03.960 there's like a memory of the voice, but there's no voice. 0:04:04.320 --> 0:04:09.640 It's so fascinating and empowering and awesome. So it's been 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.720 a pretty spectacular couple of weeks. 0:04:12.280 --> 0:04:14.880 Thank you, Thank you for sharing that. I love that 0:04:15.120 --> 0:04:16.560 people like you who are. 0:04:17.920 --> 0:04:23.240 Leaders and educators and very qualified and PhD and in 0:04:23.279 --> 0:04:28.400 your space of whatever we want to call it, personalized health. 0:04:28.440 --> 0:04:32.560 I guess like you're a pioneer. But it's great for 0:04:33.920 --> 0:04:37.760 it's great for us to by us, I mean everyone 0:04:37.800 --> 0:04:42.320 who's listening to you, me, TIF and our audience to go. Oh, 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:45.800 doctor Cam's got bullshit as well. Doctor Cam's a bit 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.000 fucked up like me. Oh, I like him more. I 0:04:48.080 --> 0:04:51.360 relate to him more. And he's working on his bullshit 0:04:51.400 --> 0:04:54.159 and he's working. It's not bullshit but his issues, his challenges, 0:04:54.480 --> 0:05:01.480 his subconscious blocks. I think that's a really a reasonably 0:05:01.680 --> 0:05:06.480 rare kind of thing in experts to actually go even 0:05:06.520 --> 0:05:08.360 though I am where I am in my career, I'm 0:05:08.400 --> 0:05:09.919 pretty far down the tunnel. 0:05:09.960 --> 0:05:10.800 I'm going okay. 0:05:10.880 --> 0:05:13.800 I've got a pretty good brand and business and I'm 0:05:13.839 --> 0:05:18.640 respected and well known, but also still very and very 0:05:18.720 --> 0:05:22.359 much a work in progress. Are you comfortable in the 0:05:22.360 --> 0:05:23.120 middle of all of that? 0:05:24.320 --> 0:05:28.360 Well, yeah, but probably this is what's so fascinating. I Mean, 0:05:28.400 --> 0:05:30.599 when I was growing up, my mum owned a healing center. 0:05:31.000 --> 0:05:35.279 We were going to healing, feeling workshops and emotional release stuff. 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:38.480 Since I was like eleven to fifteen, Like every weekend 0:05:38.560 --> 0:05:40.599 I was home on the holidays, we'd be going along there. 0:05:40.640 --> 0:05:42.919 So that's always been part of it. But what's so 0:05:43.040 --> 0:05:45.679 fascinating about the self work piece and how it played 0:05:45.680 --> 0:05:47.680 out for me is that I would always have this 0:05:47.720 --> 0:05:51.480 belief that there's always something to fix. And so while 0:05:51.520 --> 0:05:54.480 that mindset of like I can go and improve something 0:05:54.520 --> 0:05:59.560 is there, it's shrouded in failure and lack of enoughness. 0:06:00.120 --> 0:06:02.640 It's like, oh, I've always got something to fix. I'm 0:06:02.680 --> 0:06:07.359 never okay, you know. So the space of being a 0:06:07.400 --> 0:06:10.400 work in progress is something that has always been fine, 0:06:10.520 --> 0:06:13.080 But I've been a real victim to the other stuff 0:06:13.120 --> 0:06:18.520 that played into that as well. So yeah, that's whereas 0:06:18.560 --> 0:06:22.960 now I feel like, oh, I'm really excited about knowing 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:26.679 more of who I am without all of the various 0:06:26.800 --> 0:06:30.839 voices that we have in our space. I'm really excited 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:32.840 to know more about that and to grow into it, 0:06:32.960 --> 0:06:36.120 rather than I've got to fix myself. So It's been 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:37.799 a really interesting shift that way. 0:06:39.360 --> 0:06:42.480 The whole who am I? You know, the identity piece 0:06:42.560 --> 0:06:47.040 which comes up in theology and philosophy and psychology and Stoicism, 0:06:47.120 --> 0:06:49.280 and you know, I like to know thyself, like the 0:06:49.360 --> 0:06:52.680 beginning of wisdom is to know thy self, Socrates. My 0:06:52.760 --> 0:06:55.839 PhD is in self awareness, all of that, like self 0:06:55.880 --> 0:06:59.640 knowledge intersex with that. Why is it such a hard 0:06:59.680 --> 0:07:03.560 thing you? And again everyone, this is just three people chatting. 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.640 This is not personal advice. Why do you reckon? It's 0:07:06.640 --> 0:07:08.719 so hard to figure out who the fuck we are? 0:07:09.240 --> 0:07:12.360 Is that because our identity is tied into things that 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:12.760 we're not. 0:07:14.440 --> 0:07:17.480 I think there's no This is some of the stuff 0:07:17.520 --> 0:07:19.720 we're doing education in schools about right now, but we're 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:21.800 right at the start of it. But there's no formal 0:07:21.920 --> 0:07:24.920 education of how do you know who you are? 0:07:25.400 --> 0:07:26.080 Internally? 0:07:26.440 --> 0:07:29.480 Because even the way that they do identity in schools, 0:07:29.600 --> 0:07:34.160 it's like what's my family, Like I'm a brother, whatever, 0:07:34.320 --> 0:07:37.400 I'm a this. Some of that it's very externally oriented 0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:39.960 and back into you rather than I have a deeper 0:07:40.040 --> 0:07:44.000 understanding of me. And not only that, so we're not 0:07:44.120 --> 0:07:49.920 taught to really introspect powerfully. The second thing is that 0:07:50.080 --> 0:07:53.480 we are marking ourselves off other people who are biologically 0:07:53.480 --> 0:07:57.160 different to us, and that drives differences in our personality. 0:07:57.760 --> 0:08:00.320 So we're looking at other people thinking, oh, I like them, Well, 0:08:00.320 --> 0:08:02.600 why can't I be more like them? When you're different anyway, 0:08:02.680 --> 0:08:06.000 So there's that comparative approach. But then also the thing 0:08:06.000 --> 0:08:09.160 that I discovered, and this was probably the most powerful 0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:12.240 thing that happened on day five is as my Heart 0:08:12.320 --> 0:08:17.880 started cracking open was one of our incredible and she's 0:08:17.920 --> 0:08:20.080 been on your podcast, Tiff and Larsen. 0:08:20.760 --> 0:08:24.080 She introduced this thing called the voice of Gay. 0:08:24.200 --> 0:08:27.160 My mom's name is gay, and she was like, what's 0:08:27.200 --> 0:08:29.000 the voice of gay say when you're sitting at the 0:08:29.040 --> 0:08:31.080 dinner dab with the boys, and the voice of my 0:08:31.160 --> 0:08:33.840 mom says, Oh, you've got to sit up straight, you've 0:08:33.840 --> 0:08:35.280 got to use your knife and fork, you've got to 0:08:35.320 --> 0:08:37.040 eat all your vegetables. You've got to do all of 0:08:37.080 --> 0:08:38.679 these things. And if you don't do that, you fail. 0:08:38.880 --> 0:08:40.880 And then what's the voice of your dad say? It's 0:08:40.880 --> 0:08:43.120 like the food doesn't matter so much, let's just all 0:08:43.160 --> 0:08:45.520 have a nice time. And then what does the voice 0:08:45.559 --> 0:08:47.880 of the dietitian say that I've learned all this knowledge, 0:08:47.920 --> 0:08:49.840 and it's like, oh, well, they've got to have certain 0:08:49.880 --> 0:08:53.600 fibers and this and certain that, and then what is 0:08:53.640 --> 0:08:55.480 all of the self awareness stuff that I know about? 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:57.280 And that voice is saying, Oh, you've just got to 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.320 be present and you've got to be all of these things. 0:08:59.320 --> 0:09:02.559 And so you end up with they're not even your beliefs. 0:09:02.720 --> 0:09:05.800 There's things that don't belong to you that you've just 0:09:05.960 --> 0:09:08.720 accumulated over time because you've been exposed to them enough. 0:09:09.040 --> 0:09:11.199 And when I got to sit with all of those voices, 0:09:12.320 --> 0:09:14.480 I said, how would I actually run my dinner for 0:09:14.559 --> 0:09:18.600 my family? And literally, like, I'm a dietician. I know 0:09:18.679 --> 0:09:20.400 that health is good, but I'd say I would just 0:09:20.480 --> 0:09:23.320 make the kids race and give them a prize for 0:09:23.320 --> 0:09:26.120 whoever finishes their vegetables in a certain period of time, 0:09:26.640 --> 0:09:28.559 and then I would make two other items that are 0:09:28.600 --> 0:09:31.400 super healthy and happy and we play some sort. 0:09:31.280 --> 0:09:33.520 Of game, because that's the kind of dinner that I 0:09:33.559 --> 0:09:34.000 want to have. 0:09:34.120 --> 0:09:36.040 And that's if I was going to bring them up 0:09:36.040 --> 0:09:37.959 in the way that I actually think is best for them, 0:09:38.000 --> 0:09:41.680 man for everyone. That's my voice. But to the answer 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:43.920 your question, the reason why it's so hard is because 0:09:43.920 --> 0:09:47.640 I had seventeen other voices that are saying different things, 0:09:47.720 --> 0:09:49.680 and so no matter what I'd do, there's no win. 0:09:49.880 --> 0:09:51.840 And so I can't even find myself in that. And 0:09:51.880 --> 0:09:54.480 that was one tiny little example, just having dinner with 0:09:54.520 --> 0:09:57.439 my kids. It makes it so difficult and unless you're 0:09:57.440 --> 0:10:00.520 ready to go back and unpack all of the things 0:10:00.520 --> 0:10:04.960 that happened between ages zero to seven, which ultimately we 0:10:05.000 --> 0:10:06.560 need to do. But the great thing is that AI 0:10:06.679 --> 0:10:10.960 will eventually be able to help us do that really powerfully. 0:10:12.120 --> 0:10:14.720 Like this is what psychotherapy is all about, is helping 0:10:14.760 --> 0:10:18.800 you go back to those spaces to reimagine those memories, 0:10:18.840 --> 0:10:23.000 to reconstruct them. And while we're over at the retreat, 0:10:23.040 --> 0:10:26.000 we had a personal keynote from Bruce Lipton who was 0:10:26.040 --> 0:10:29.959 talking about the quantum field that is generated from your 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:35.600 subconscious and ninety five percent of your reality is coming 0:10:35.600 --> 0:10:39.000 from your subconscious projection because the only thing that governs 0:10:39.120 --> 0:10:41.679 matter is the quantum field that surrounds it. This is 0:10:41.679 --> 0:10:43.160 getting into a bit of count. We won't get into 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:46.480 a two day but essentially, if you've got a belief 0:10:46.520 --> 0:10:50.480 of I'm not enough that has a particular frequency, and 0:10:50.559 --> 0:10:53.520 just like if you hit a tuning fork, that frequency 0:10:53.559 --> 0:10:56.880 goes out, it'll find something that it resonates on the 0:10:56.880 --> 0:11:00.320 same level with, and it makes that thing resonate, and 0:11:00.360 --> 0:11:03.560 then that resonation sends back a message to the part 0:11:03.600 --> 0:11:06.480 of you that's holding that frequency, and then you see it, 0:11:06.559 --> 0:11:09.839 and so your reality is just created. You just keep 0:11:10.679 --> 0:11:13.440 resonating with all of the stuff that's happening sitting here, 0:11:13.480 --> 0:11:15.400 and you're subconscious. And this is why people can just 0:11:15.480 --> 0:11:17.199 keep going in loops and loops and loops with the 0:11:17.240 --> 0:11:19.640 relationships or money or work or whatever it might be, 0:11:19.640 --> 0:11:22.680 because there's unconscious beliefs that are sitting there that aren't resolved, 0:11:22.679 --> 0:11:25.520 and so they're unconscious because they're not conscious of them. 0:11:25.559 --> 0:11:28.240 So not only do you have everybody else's beliefs, then 0:11:28.240 --> 0:11:31.000 you've got how they've formed in your body. Then you've 0:11:31.040 --> 0:11:33.720 got your own natural impulses. Then you've got the conflict. 0:11:33.760 --> 0:11:37.720 And we don't have a safe environment in our community 0:11:38.000 --> 0:11:40.160 where we can actually work that through because you can't 0:11:40.200 --> 0:11:42.640 heal when you're in stress. You can only heal when 0:11:42.640 --> 0:11:46.000 you're feeling safe. Like if you're in stress, you'll compensate 0:11:46.040 --> 0:11:48.920 and you'll block and you'll resist. You have to feel 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.640 very very safe to actually go into a space of 0:11:51.640 --> 0:11:53.120 healing where you can process these things. 0:11:53.200 --> 0:11:54.839 So there's so many. 0:11:54.600 --> 0:11:57.920 Things make it really hard to understand your identity. And 0:11:58.000 --> 0:12:00.720 I feel like I've just got lot more to share 0:12:00.760 --> 0:12:04.360 on that now because I've just lived such an incredible 0:12:04.360 --> 0:12:06.000 insight over the last couple of weeks. 0:12:07.640 --> 0:12:12.440 I love that, Thanks for sharing. It's obviously. 0:12:14.200 --> 0:12:17.240 I think a lot about thinking, you know, that metacognitive 0:12:17.320 --> 0:12:19.679 kind of rabbit hole that we go down, which is 0:12:19.720 --> 0:12:21.880 why do I think the way that I think? And 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.120 why do I have the beliefs that I have? Where 0:12:24.160 --> 0:12:27.640 did they come from? Did I choose them or did 0:12:27.679 --> 0:12:31.760 they choose me? Or did I have them by psychological 0:12:31.800 --> 0:12:36.480 and sociological osmosis, Like just did I inherit them through 0:12:36.520 --> 0:12:39.680 proximity and repetition and programming. 0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:40.960 That I didn't even choose? 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:41.200 You know? 0:12:41.280 --> 0:12:43.760 And then you wake up and you're like fifteen, and 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:46.600 you're like, oh, I'm a piece of shit, And that's 0:12:46.600 --> 0:12:50.040 a hard wired belief for I'm unathletic, or nobody could 0:12:50.080 --> 0:12:53.200 love me, or I could never make a sporting team 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:56.680 in my you know, or I'm not smart, or I 0:12:56.800 --> 0:13:00.360 had a lot of really defining powerful belief that I 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:03.719 didn't choose, and they were powerful in a bad way, 0:13:03.800 --> 0:13:07.200 not a good way, but nonetheless I absolutely believed them 0:13:07.240 --> 0:13:08.360 while never choosing them. 0:13:08.920 --> 0:13:10.160 And I think, you know, like. 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:14.880 Opening the door on that kind of origin story or 0:13:15.000 --> 0:13:17.400 starting to think at least question, you know. 0:13:17.440 --> 0:13:19.880 It's like could I be wrong? 0:13:20.760 --> 0:13:24.280 And one of the challenges is when we have a belief, 0:13:24.320 --> 0:13:27.040 whatever the belief is good or bad, when we have 0:13:27.080 --> 0:13:30.880 a belief that's intertwined with our sense of self, it's 0:13:31.080 --> 0:13:34.680 very hard for anyone else to challenge that belief because 0:13:34.720 --> 0:13:37.280 if you challenge that belief, you're challenging who they. 0:13:37.160 --> 0:13:39.760 Are at their core, or who they believe they are. 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:40.679 You know. 0:13:40.760 --> 0:13:42.920 So for me, who grew up in a really religious family, 0:13:44.200 --> 0:13:47.400 it was never presented as an option. It was presented 0:13:47.440 --> 0:13:53.440 as the truth, like the unequivocal, the unequivocal, absolute, one 0:13:53.600 --> 0:13:55.240 true path to the divine. 0:13:56.160 --> 0:13:57.439 You're on it, We're on it. 0:13:57.679 --> 0:14:01.360 You're welcome, right, There was no and so you don't know, 0:14:01.440 --> 0:14:05.360 you're fucking seven. You're like, well, of course, I don't know. 0:14:05.440 --> 0:14:07.280 This is how the works. So there's heaven and hell 0:14:07.320 --> 0:14:11.400 and purgatory and eternal damnation and fire and the devil 0:14:11.480 --> 0:14:15.440 and God and Jesus and Apostles and there's all this 0:14:15.559 --> 0:14:17.600 stuff and if I do this, this is the outcome. 0:14:17.640 --> 0:14:21.000 And if I do that, that's the outcome. But nobody's 0:14:21.040 --> 0:14:25.320 presenting these to you as possibilities or ideas or constructs. 0:14:25.920 --> 0:14:30.520 And this happens in all environments at all ages. And 0:14:30.560 --> 0:14:33.520 when you meet somebody who seems smart or you think 0:14:33.640 --> 0:14:36.520 is smart or smarter than you are, believable or trustworthy 0:14:36.600 --> 0:14:39.920 or whatever, and they go, hey, Craig, this is the 0:14:39.920 --> 0:14:40.760 best way to eat. 0:14:40.840 --> 0:14:41.720 Let me tell you why. 0:14:41.880 --> 0:14:43.720 And then now I know the best way to eat 0:14:43.880 --> 0:14:46.760 and there's only one best way because doctor Cam told me, 0:14:46.800 --> 0:14:49.560 and I like him and I trust him. He's a dietitian, 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:51.080 so this do you know what I mean? And then 0:14:51.120 --> 0:14:53.600 you wake up you're fifty, and you're like, fucking hell, 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:54.200 where did all. 0:14:54.080 --> 0:14:57.960 This shit come from? Yeah, you know totally, that's a lot. 0:14:58.080 --> 0:14:58.320 I know. 0:14:58.440 --> 0:15:01.960 But it's like we I don't think we think enough 0:15:02.760 --> 0:15:06.400 about how we think, not what we think, but just 0:15:07.040 --> 0:15:10.080 why do I think the way that I do? Yes, 0:15:11.040 --> 0:15:14.800 because we're so unconsciously driven. And there's like almost this 0:15:14.840 --> 0:15:18.480 little five step thing that I do with people Cam, 0:15:18.800 --> 0:15:22.800 which is self reflections. So we're just trying to just 0:15:22.920 --> 0:15:27.520 think about, you know, not in a self loathing way, 0:15:27.560 --> 0:15:30.680 but in a curiosity way, so self reflection. The next 0:15:30.680 --> 0:15:33.040 one is when we have an awareness or a realization, 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:37.360 so self awareness and then getting to understand truly who 0:15:37.400 --> 0:15:39.880 we are in the middle of that self knowledge, and 0:15:39.920 --> 0:15:44.440 then self regulation is like, Okay, how do I manage 0:15:44.480 --> 0:15:47.000 me to think better, do better, choose better, and become 0:15:47.080 --> 0:15:50.040 better whatever that means. And then the last one in 0:15:50.080 --> 0:15:53.960 that five step kind of hierarchy is self actualization, which 0:15:54.000 --> 0:15:56.960 is where I feel like you're playing now in that 0:15:57.160 --> 0:16:00.040 space of who am I becoming and who do I 0:15:59.840 --> 0:16:00.480 want to be? 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.800 Yeah? Yeah, where is my like what is my true voice? 0:16:04.040 --> 0:16:07.120 And I'd have to say a big part of that 0:16:07.440 --> 0:16:10.640 is that that's been a very cognitive exercise for me, 0:16:10.840 --> 0:16:13.480 and probably the biggest thing that I've learned to value 0:16:13.600 --> 0:16:18.760 is what without sounding too fluffy, but it's actually exactly 0:16:18.800 --> 0:16:22.280 what's going on? What how does my body feel about that? 0:16:22.640 --> 0:16:22.840 You know? 0:16:22.920 --> 0:16:26.240 And this is where we in our world, we probably 0:16:26.280 --> 0:16:30.600 in our culture particularly, we probably discredit feeling a whole lot. 0:16:30.480 --> 0:16:33.160 More than we do thought. 0:16:33.600 --> 0:16:36.520 And thinking and feeling are obviously two very different things, 0:16:36.560 --> 0:16:40.640 but it was I was holding on with all of 0:16:40.680 --> 0:16:43.960 my thoughts because that's my strength, you know, is to think. 0:16:44.800 --> 0:16:47.880 And it's amazing what difference it does to actually be 0:16:47.920 --> 0:16:50.120 able to feel these things at the same time. And 0:16:50.520 --> 0:16:52.840 I want this thing? What does it actually feel like 0:16:53.000 --> 0:16:55.960 to want that thing? And it it grounds that so 0:16:56.120 --> 0:16:58.360 much more, it makes it so much more tangible for 0:16:58.440 --> 0:16:59.000 me as well. 0:16:59.080 --> 0:17:02.320 So is you is your thinking your strength to be 0:17:02.360 --> 0:17:08.600 able to think or is it your security blanket. 0:17:08.119 --> 0:17:10.320 Because sometimes you've got to get out of thinking. 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:15.840 Well, I would argue that it's both, and that is it. Ultimately, 0:17:15.960 --> 0:17:18.560 once I'm feeling well, I can then use my thinking 0:17:18.560 --> 0:17:22.560 to direct my feelings really well. But my nervous system 0:17:22.600 --> 0:17:24.919 is set up to do lots of thinking, whereas somebody 0:17:24.920 --> 0:17:27.639 else in my life, maybe a Tiffany Cook is a 0:17:27.760 --> 0:17:31.480 very good feeler, you know, and you're a good feeler too, Harps, 0:17:31.480 --> 0:17:34.040 And it's like and the feelings come out like let's 0:17:34.040 --> 0:17:36.359 say that you have an issue with a course that 0:17:36.400 --> 0:17:38.800 you're in and you have a feeling about it, and 0:17:38.840 --> 0:17:41.119 all of a sudden, I'm really like that feeling is 0:17:41.160 --> 0:17:44.000 not only a protective blanket, but it's also a strength. 0:17:44.720 --> 0:17:46.679 And this is what I saw other people on the 0:17:46.680 --> 0:17:50.720 same retreat were very feeling oriented, and they went straight 0:17:50.800 --> 0:17:53.880 out of their feelings and they had huge emotional releases. 0:17:54.320 --> 0:17:56.320 That took me five days to get there because I 0:17:56.359 --> 0:17:58.880 had to chip away at this brain that is which 0:17:58.920 --> 0:18:01.399 is my strength, but also in this sense, it is 0:18:01.400 --> 0:18:04.120 my security, and it was also my achilles in all 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:05.000 of those things. 0:18:05.280 --> 0:18:08.439 See, so that's so I mean, talk about awareness do 0:18:08.560 --> 0:18:11.040 that's good, and that's courage, and that's humility, and that's 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:16.520 you know, vulnerability right there, Like that is so fucking good, 0:18:17.080 --> 0:18:20.240 you know, I wrote it's so funny. I have conversations. 0:18:20.680 --> 0:18:23.439 I guess this is a coincidence. I don't know, but 0:18:23.560 --> 0:18:27.480 I have conversations, and quite often I'll have a conversation 0:18:27.560 --> 0:18:29.960 and three hours before I thought of something or I 0:18:30.000 --> 0:18:34.440 wrote something that totally coincides with what we're talking about. 0:18:34.800 --> 0:18:36.840 And you can't see it because I've got a screen. 0:18:36.880 --> 0:18:41.240 But behind me on my whiteboard, which is going up tonight, 0:18:41.400 --> 0:18:43.679 is a whiteboard post that says your body is the 0:18:43.760 --> 0:18:44.840 ultimate truth teller. 0:18:45.240 --> 0:18:46.359 Oh I love that. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.680 That's great, you know, it's the ultimate. 0:18:49.720 --> 0:18:52.480 And I wrote something earlier today which will not be 0:18:52.600 --> 0:18:55.080 news to you, but I put it up on LinkedIn 0:18:56.800 --> 0:18:59.240 and this this is very much down your road. But 0:18:59.800 --> 0:19:04.600 the white the whiteboard post is something works for everybody, 0:19:05.119 --> 0:19:09.080 but everything doesn't work for everybody. Find your something right, 0:19:09.960 --> 0:19:14.680 and I wrote, there's no universal best diet, workout, sleep protocol, medication, supplement, 0:19:14.720 --> 0:19:18.880 lifestyle style, or even job. That is, there's no strategy 0:19:19.000 --> 0:19:22.120 or approach that works equally well for everyone, but there 0:19:22.160 --> 0:19:25.439 is a best everything for you as an individual. What 0:19:25.600 --> 0:19:28.920 works optimally for me could be anywhere between mildly effective 0:19:28.920 --> 0:19:32.879 and disastrous for you. My healthy snack could be your 0:19:32.880 --> 0:19:36.960 anaphylactic reaction. My dream career could be your nightmare job. 0:19:37.000 --> 0:19:39.879 The medication that helps me function could give you anxiety. 0:19:40.520 --> 0:19:44.560 Don't confuse advertising with information or truth or pseudo science 0:19:44.560 --> 0:19:47.399 with actual science. And then I finished with that quote. 0:19:47.400 --> 0:19:50.359 I wrote, your body is your greatest teacher and truth teller. 0:19:51.119 --> 0:19:54.159 And I feel like there's so much wisdom in our body. 0:19:55.359 --> 0:19:58.359 You know, so much wisdom, so much insights, so much truth. 0:19:59.200 --> 0:20:02.440 But our mind is like the clown. You know, there's 0:20:02.440 --> 0:20:06.320 so much for me anyway, like my ego, my fear, 0:20:06.600 --> 0:20:12.440 my mind, so much bullshit, my body zero bullshit, yeah, zero, 0:20:13.359 --> 0:20:15.240 just truth and often truth. 0:20:15.280 --> 0:20:18.560 I don't want, by the way, but nonetheless truth. Yeah, 0:20:18.600 --> 0:20:19.000 it's like. 0:20:19.000 --> 0:20:22.120 Telling me, shit, I don't want to hear. So then 0:20:22.200 --> 0:20:24.560 my mind gets online and goes, nah, it's not that 0:20:27.240 --> 0:20:28.840 despite the evidence, your honor. 0:20:28.680 --> 0:20:31.280 I'm pretty sure I can think through this. Not a problem. 0:20:31.600 --> 0:20:34.480 Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'll just jog it out. 0:20:34.760 --> 0:20:39.960 What's it like for you being the teacher and the 0:20:40.080 --> 0:20:44.880 leader and the you know, the researcher being in those programs, 0:20:44.880 --> 0:20:49.280 a program like that and being a student, uh well 0:20:49.400 --> 0:20:52.439 or our participant or whatever, whatever, I know what you mean. 0:20:52.600 --> 0:20:57.120 Well, interestingly enough, like it was our team that ran 0:20:57.160 --> 0:21:00.960 the retreat and a lot of them sitting around the tables, 0:21:00.960 --> 0:21:03.520 probably twenty people around the table. Half of them I 0:21:03.600 --> 0:21:06.520 introduced to the work and they then went on and 0:21:06.520 --> 0:21:08.880 they're doing all this work now, which is in parallel 0:21:08.920 --> 0:21:12.720 to what we're doing. But I knew I was there 0:21:12.760 --> 0:21:15.720 for a result. I've always been a good student, and 0:21:15.800 --> 0:21:18.119 I was just doing the stuff that I needed to do. 0:21:18.160 --> 0:21:20.199 But what was so fascinating they actually set it up 0:21:21.040 --> 0:21:23.480 to say, look, Cam is going to be here and 0:21:23.520 --> 0:21:25.800 he's going to be struggling through all of this stuff, 0:21:26.920 --> 0:21:32.320