Speaker 1: A team.
Speaker 2: Welcome to another installment of the Youth Project. Craig Anthony, Harper, Peter,
Speaker 2: what would it be, Peter, Michael Sage, Peter Anthony. I
Speaker 2: wonder if it's a vow. What's your middle name?
Speaker 3: Bro?
Speaker 1: You'd have been guessing for a while. I don't have one.
Speaker 2: Oh, well, there you go, Peter Sage. Now Peter Sage
Speaker 2: and I connected through Tony Man's. Tony jack Mans, who's
Speaker 2: a friend of mine who's been on the show a
Speaker 2: little bit talking about his journey, said you've got to
Speaker 2: get this bloke on. He changed my life. And so
Speaker 2: if you change someone's life, and somebody's pumping up your tires,
Speaker 2: that's an Australian expression, mate, pumping up your tires. So
Speaker 2: he speaks highly of you. So I'm excited to chat
Speaker 2: with you. Welcome to the You Project, Craig.
Speaker 1: Real pleasure to be here. And again, any recommendation from
Speaker 1: Tony is something I'm happy to contribute to.
Speaker 2: Well, we appreciate you. Now without me reading out some
Speaker 2: I was going to say some boring bio. It's definitely
Speaker 2: not a boring buyer. But rather than me read something
Speaker 2: off a computer screen, tell my audience a little bit
Speaker 2: about you. Some will know you, but a lot won't
Speaker 2: tell my group a little bit about who you are
Speaker 2: and what you do. If you don't mind, please certainly.
Speaker 1: And there's two sides of this. One is I'll give
Speaker 1: you a brief overview. The other is to remind you
Speaker 1: I'm just a guy.
Speaker 2: It's a blind Yeah.
Speaker 1: I dropped out of school of sixteen. I've got no
Speaker 1: formal education. I went I got a PhD in results.
Speaker 1: I started my first company at seventeen. Since then probably
Speaker 1: had twenties seven to twenty eight companies, many internationals. Some
Speaker 1: have been multimillion dollar success stories, some have been absolute failures,
Speaker 1: some have wiped me out at the knees, some should
Speaker 1: have stayed ideas when I was drunk, and pretty much
Speaker 1: everything in between. But through that journey as a born
Speaker 1: and bred entrepreneur, the parallel journey that I had starting
Speaker 1: at seventeen was personal growth, human behavior, trying to understand
Speaker 1: why we do what we do. We'll guess this up
Speaker 1: in the morning, excited or not. And so that's really
Speaker 1: what my journey is, A sort of come full circle
Speaker 1: to teaching that now my main business now for the
Speaker 1: last two to three years has really been focusing on
Speaker 1: how to help other people learn from most of my mistakes.
Speaker 1: But yeah, just a guy. I've seen a lot, done,
Speaker 1: a lot, made, a lot, lost a lot, had a
Speaker 1: lot of fun. Here to help if I can.
Speaker 2: The world is your classroom and every day is a lesson. Dude,
Speaker 2: Same with me, Same with me. What did you you
Speaker 2: said you some things work, some things didn't work, and
Speaker 2: you know, failure, lesson growth, whatever we want to call it,
Speaker 2: but let's let's go with failure for the moment. What
Speaker 2: did the failures teach you? And I'm sure there was
Speaker 2: a range of lessons, but what did you learn through
Speaker 2: fucking up? What did you learn through not getting the
Speaker 2: outcome that you wanted?
Speaker 1: I often help. Failure is my biggest capital per Most
Speaker 1: people link the word failure because they've had an indoctrination
Speaker 1: through the school system of thinking if you fail something,
Speaker 1: then your life is over, You're not good enough. It
Speaker 1: triggers the fear that we are and all of that
Speaker 1: deeply shame. And that's not if you know, there is
Speaker 1: no real failure in business. There's only a different outcome
Speaker 1: to what you want it, and so it was important
Speaker 1: to understand that failure in that regard that the biggest
Speaker 1: lesson you want to learn is to how to reframe
Speaker 1: failure because there is no failure, it's just different outcomes.
Speaker 1: And business is dynamic, it's always moving, things are always changing.
Speaker 1: There's a thousand things that day outside of your control
Speaker 1: that you never can control. So learning how to roll
Speaker 1: and flow with the bends of the river of life
Speaker 1: rather than fight the current and swim upstream is probably
Speaker 1: one of your biggest assets or skills as an entrepreneur. So, yeah,
Speaker 1: I learned a lot. I also learned that business is
Speaker 1: about adding value. It's not about trying to get something.
Speaker 1: You don't get sales. You serve clients. And from that perspective,
Speaker 1: it shifted a lot in my early days.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love it. Did you ever get to
Speaker 2: you know what's that saying? It's something like, you know,
Speaker 2: make sure you're climbing the right mountain, right, did you
Speaker 2: ever get to the top of the mountain? And did
Speaker 2: you ever get to the top of the mountain? Go,
Speaker 2: oh fucking hell, this is not the one. This is
Speaker 2: like the view is good, but this isn't what I thought,
Speaker 2: and this isn't where I need to be.
Speaker 1: It took me, thankfully early in my career mid twenties,
Speaker 1: until I finally realized there was a massive difference between
Speaker 1: a life chasing success and a life chasing fulfillment. And
Speaker 1: so many people, as you say, get to the top
Speaker 1: of success mount and they want to jump off right
Speaker 1: because they were sold even the entrepreneurial lie. And this
Speaker 1: is so if it wasn't as tragic, it would be comedic.
Speaker 1: And that is that I've seen so many people that
Speaker 1: slave away, sacrificing everything to try to elbow their way
Speaker 1: up that mountain. And even if they get their number,
Speaker 1: and everyone's got a number, but even if they get it,
Speaker 1: which is the one percent of the one percent that
Speaker 1: finally cash out, right, They've sacrificed their relationship, They've missed
Speaker 1: their kids growing up, They've put everything in blood, sweat
Speaker 1: and tears. They get the top of success mountain, they
Speaker 1: cash in. What do they actually do with their money?
Speaker 1: When I've coached enough of them, I'll tell you The
Speaker 1: first thing is they do is they pay for their divorce.
Speaker 1: The second thing is they try to hire a personal
Speaker 1: trainer at best or a surgeon at worst to try
Speaker 1: to get their health back. And then they buy their
Speaker 1: kids loads of crap so they hopefully love them again.
Speaker 1: It's the entrepreneurial joke. So understanding how to navigate what
Speaker 1: you would cause success mountain and turn that into fulfillment
Speaker 1: mountain is a big psychological shift for a lot of people,
Speaker 1: and part of it was driven by you say, what
Speaker 1: I learned from failure? One of the things I learned
Speaker 1: is that trying to prove to the world that you're
Speaker 1: good enough in order to avoid the insecurities that you're not,
Speaker 1: which I had many of, is a fool's gain. Why
Speaker 1: because eighty percent of people don't care about your problems
Speaker 1: and the other twenty percent they're glad you have them.
Speaker 2: So fucking true. Why do you say, why do you
Speaker 2: think that is great? That's great. It's kind of brute,
Speaker 2: but kind of true. Why do you think that we
Speaker 2: are and I'm talking about the collective we so maybe
Speaker 2: not every person listening, but definitely me for a lot
Speaker 2: of my life. Why are we so desperate to get
Speaker 2: approval from people who don't love us or you know,
Speaker 2: oftentimes even care about us. What is that?
Speaker 1: It's a rotualization, but it's accurate. And primary reason for
Speaker 1: that is because as human beings. We have two natural fears.
Speaker 1: We're born with two fears, the fear of loud noises
Speaker 1: and the fear of falling. Everything else is learned and
Speaker 1: just through the psychological journey of how we take on
Speaker 1: the role as parenting as human beings. I'm not saying
Speaker 1: it's right along and I don't have any other answers
Speaker 1: because A, I'm not a parent. You know, I have
Speaker 1: two Jack Russell Terriers, right, they're my kids. But when
Speaker 1: it comes to understanding that the journey, it's worth looking
Speaker 1: at it from this angle, and that is that when
Speaker 1: a baby's born, it has what we call unconditional love.
Speaker 1: Why because if it wakes you up at two in
Speaker 1: the morning, it's in con venient as a parent, but
Speaker 1: you don't blame the baby because it's what babies do.
Speaker 1: And without that level of attention, A, you're a bad
Speaker 1: parent and be it'll probably die. We call it failure
Speaker 1: to thrive centrome if it doesn't have the physical touch
Speaker 1: of nature, because babies are one hundred percent useless when
Speaker 1: it comes to self sufficiency. It's just part of the game.
Speaker 1: And the reason for that is they have mirror neurons
Speaker 1: because they're there to learn from their environment. We don't
Speaker 1: have that many in built instincts, like things that hatch
Speaker 1: out of an egg and never see their parents. So
Speaker 1: at around eighteen months to two years old, right, babies
Speaker 1: go through a transition which we collectively call the Terrible twos. Right, well,
Speaker 1: all of a sudden, now they go from this cute
Speaker 1: little baby to this foot stomping terror. Right now, Why
Speaker 1: is that? Parents don't know? Well, it's understanding the psychology.
Speaker 1: You've just had your entire life of two years being
Speaker 1: the center of attention. Now you're no longer the center
Speaker 1: of attention, but you still want to be. There's a
Speaker 1: kick back to that, So it's understanding context. But at
Speaker 1: some point during that journey of two to three to
Speaker 1: four years old, the parents understand that there is now
Speaker 1: a feedback mechanism. The baby is now starting to understand
Speaker 1: levels of communication, which is why the first word most
Speaker 1: people learn humans is no, right, because it's what they
Speaker 1: hear the most, because parents are always saying don't do that,
Speaker 1: don't do that out of fear and security for the kid. However,
Speaker 1: if we take out earliest memory four five six years old,
Speaker 1: the reason that most people have such a fear of
Speaker 1: failure or are desperately trying to prove to the world
Speaker 1: that good enough, regardless of whether the world validates it
Speaker 1: or not. Is because when that the model of parenting
Speaker 1: that is then overlaid, when there is two way communication
Speaker 1: is that if you do something I approve of or
Speaker 1: I think is in your best interest, I reward you
Speaker 1: with validation, approval, yeah, love, et cetera. When you do
Speaker 1: something outside of what I deem to be the correct behavior,
Speaker 1: the perception of the child not the reality, because the
Speaker 1: parent still loves the kid, but the perception of the
Speaker 1: child is that love, approval, validation is withdrawn, so that
Speaker 1: by the time we get to our earliest memory, we've
Speaker 1: already got several years of being conditioned that love is
Speaker 1: earned through correct behavior, and we then spend the rest
Speaker 1: of our lives validating that in our own relationships. But
Speaker 1: more importantly, it instills the primary human fear that every
Speaker 1: single person has to some degree, and that is the
Speaker 1: fear we're not enough yeah wow, which, ultimately, if you
Speaker 1: peel back the onion, one more layer is the fear
Speaker 1: we won't be loved. So we spend most of our
Speaker 1: life adapting our behavior consciously or unconsciously forming a personality
Speaker 1: consciously or unconsciously around trying to get the approval of validation.
Speaker 1: If your parents were angry and you had to toe
Speaker 1: the line, you became a people. Please.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: If you parents were chaotic, you had to try to
Speaker 1: form some level of control. If your parents were distant,
Speaker 1: you'd create more imagination in your head, and now you're
Speaker 1: a dreamer. That there's many patterns that are fixed that
Speaker 1: then project throughout our lives, but ultimately their adaptation mechanisms
Speaker 1: to avoid the primary fear that were not enough.
Speaker 2: One of my favorite quotes from Oscar Wilde is be yourself.
Speaker 2: Everyone else has already taken just taken right, and that.
Speaker 2: I love that. That's kind of cute, but it at
Speaker 2: the same time, like a lot of the messaging, especially
Speaker 2: for young people, is no, you need to look like this,
Speaker 2: you need to be drinking this, you need to be
Speaker 2: driving that, you need to be wearing that. And not
Speaker 2: just young people, I guess, especially being reinforced, I had
Speaker 2: to sound like the old guy. But you know, social
Speaker 2: media serves. Social media is just a tool. I'm not
Speaker 2: against social media at all. I use it, You use it,
Speaker 2: you know, and it can do some really good things,
Speaker 2: But there's this kind of there's this dichotomy of messages.
Speaker 2: On the one hand, we're being told you're enough, you're
Speaker 2: all you need, you know, be you be authentic, but
Speaker 2: we're also being told, no, you need to have more
Speaker 2: of this lesson, that you need to be bigger and
Speaker 2: leaner and prettier and handsomer and all of these things,
Speaker 2: you know, and that on a level, I feel like
Speaker 2: we're trying to resolve internal issues with external solutions Peter.
Speaker 1: Correct, and it's never going to happen. Why Because the
Speaker 1: number one rule of relationships, for example, is nobody can
Speaker 1: ever love you more than you love yourself. And if
Speaker 1: you're constantly seeking external validation to cover up internal securities,
Speaker 1: you're you're running east looking for a sunset. And while
Speaker 1: you're running east looking for that sunset, then you're being
Speaker 1: sold at the problem. The reason you haven't seen the
Speaker 1: sunset yet is you haven't got the right sneakers, you
Speaker 1: haven't got the right diet, you haven't hired the right
Speaker 1: person trainer. You're just not hustling hard enough, and so
Speaker 1: you buy into all the external solutions hoping that one day,
Speaker 1: if you just crack the code, that sunset will appear.
Speaker 1: And it's a fundamental paradigm shift that most people need
Speaker 1: a break out of, which is why I said, most
Speaker 1: people don't care about your problem. The other twenty percent
Speaker 1: they're glad you have them. Yeah, stop trying to validate
Speaker 1: yourself through the eyes of others. It's never gonna work.
Speaker 1: So if you want to resolve some of that, let's
Speaker 1: get practical. Right, if we create a model of understanding
Speaker 1: ourselves in the mirror, which most people have no clue
Speaker 1: how to interpret apart from through the lens of insecurity.
Speaker 1: Not good enough. Oh yeah, I noticed what's wrong before
Speaker 1: I notice what's right. I can't even receive compliments that
Speaker 1: kind of stuff. Poor self image. You want to see
Speaker 1: an area people destroy themselves, it's self image. And so
Speaker 1: let's create a model. Einstein said something powerful. He said,
Speaker 1: you can't solve a problem at the same level of
Speaker 1: consciousness that created the problem. Sounds pretty smart. He was
Speaker 1: a smart guy. What the hell does it mean? Well,
Speaker 1: if you take the word consciousness, you've kind of got
Speaker 1: two camps. You've got the left brainers that are still
Speaker 1: trying to prove the thesis that the brain creates consciousness
Speaker 1: and They've never been able to prove that, nor will
Speaker 1: they because the brain doesn't create consciousness any more than
Speaker 1: the television creates producers and writes programs. Right, it's you know,
Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way. On the other side, the
Speaker 1: right brainers at the extreme other end, are all about,
Speaker 1: you know, connect to the divine. Let's hold hands sincome
Speaker 1: by our and some magical formula will present itself and
Speaker 1: we all love each other. Doesn't pay the mortgage on Friday.
Speaker 1: So let's try to look at how we can get
Speaker 1: value from what Einstein was trying to teach us. So
Speaker 1: if we take conscious and if you struggle with the
Speaker 1: word yet, just call it awareness, right, because that's ultimately
Speaker 1: what you are. You are an awareness. Right. So there
Speaker 1: are four levels, and this is a model. It's only
Speaker 1: a model, and we use models just to try to
Speaker 1: get some advantage as to how we can be better. Right,
Speaker 1: it's not the truth, because you know, I actually do
Speaker 1: know the truth with the capital T, right, And anyone
Speaker 1: else tells you a different truth is because they're trying
Speaker 1: to sell you some other crap. So I'll give it
Speaker 1: you for free. Here's the truth with the capital T.
Speaker 1: We don't know the damn truth. Right, So let's just
Speaker 1: own that. So this is just a model, right, four levels,
Speaker 1: four levels of consciousness. The first level at the bottom
Speaker 1: of the tree is what I call the level of
Speaker 1: to me, also known as victimhood. Why because the mantra
Speaker 1: of to me goes something like this, Well, I would
Speaker 1: have the house, the car, the body, of the relationship,
Speaker 1: the life I want, but everything happens to me. Yeah,
Speaker 1: now that sucks. And nowhere in the universe does life
Speaker 1: reward that level of consciousness other than to give you
Speaker 1: more crap to complain about. And some people then validate
Speaker 1: themselves by that story, which is why you try to
Speaker 1: solve their problem, they'll hang onto it like a trophy.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: Or you manage to solve their problem, they'll go find
Speaker 1: and another one.
Speaker 2: Yeah, right.
Speaker 1: If their enemy dies, they'll find somebody else to blame
Speaker 1: and complain about. Right, it's the level of victimhood. And
Speaker 1: unfortunately there's a lot of people that get stuck there
Speaker 1: for one reason or another. But ultimately, if you're maturing emotionally,
Speaker 1: you know which is a choice. You know, we don't
Speaker 1: get to choose whether we're mature physically. You and I
Speaker 1: certainly aware of that, but biologically it's part of the
Speaker 1: rule set. Emotionally, spiritually, energetically, it's a choice. So if
Speaker 1: you choose to want to grow out of victimhood, you
Speaker 1: move to the second level of consciousness, and that level
Speaker 1: is what I call buy me. Why because you're sick
Speaker 1: and tired of being a victim. You know you want
Speaker 1: the life you want and if it's going to happen,
Speaker 1: it's going to happen by me. Yeah, I'm not waiting
Speaker 1: for the life to come save me. No one's coming
Speaker 1: to do that. People in victim mode secretly hope someone's
Speaker 1: coming to save it. Ever, never gonna happen. Right, So
Speaker 1: the problem in buy me is this, you are now
Speaker 1: fighting reality. You're swimming upstream against the current and you
Speaker 1: are you're kind of bending the branch back on the
Speaker 1: tree of life, and every time you let go, it
Speaker 1: slaps you in the face. It's exhausting. You can hustle
Speaker 1: and get stuff done, but that's running up success mountain,
Speaker 1: getting to the top and saying I don't like the view,
Speaker 1: or dying of a heart attack halfway. That's the game.
Speaker 1: Most most of personal growth. Most people listening to podcasts
Speaker 1: like this are in one of two camps. Either they're
Speaker 1: in to me, trying to get to buy me and
Speaker 1: just need that motivation, that kick up the backside, that
Speaker 1: reminder that it's not who they are, or they're in
Speaker 1: low by me, trying to get to a higher level
Speaker 1: of buy me. Yeah, I earn fifty grand a year,
Speaker 1: I want one hundred and fifty. I earn a million,
Speaker 1: I want ten million. I want to ten next this
Speaker 1: I want to It's the hustle mentality. It's the how
Speaker 1: do I get more? How do I achieve more? Do more? Right?
Speaker 1: Because victimhood looking over my shoulder ain't where I want
Speaker 1: to go. So I want to move forward, thinking the
Speaker 1: further I get from that, the better my life will be.
Speaker 1: Not realizing that you're now getting exhausted, You're burnt out,
Speaker 1: stressed out, you don't have energy to sleep with your
Speaker 1: partner at night. You've forgotten what your kid's birthday because
Speaker 1: you're too busy trying to keep your eyes away with caffeine.
Speaker 1: You get the idea. So by me is a necessary
Speaker 1: stage of development, but it is not where all the
Speaker 1: fulfillment lies. That comes in step three, third level of consciousness,
Speaker 1: which is what I call Through me and through me
Speaker 1: is where you stop fighting the river of life and
Speaker 1: you start learning how to sail with the bends. You're
Speaker 1: no longer trying to resist. You're practicing a level of
Speaker 1: non resistance. You're not passive. It's not from an apathetic
Speaker 1: level of victimhood into me, but it's not the go
Speaker 1: go go achiever level in by me. You're now in
Speaker 1: a flow state. You're in a creative state, and that
Speaker 1: has where synchronicity shows up. It's where things just to
Speaker 1: unfold far more effortlessly. You meet the right people, the
Speaker 1: right things tend to fall into place. Now, the fourth
Speaker 1: level at the top of the tree is not something
Speaker 1: I'm qualified to talk about. We call that asthmi. That's
Speaker 1: essentially non duality, oneness, where you recognize yourself in everybody else.
Speaker 1: It's where the spiritual masters talk from. But again out
Speaker 1: of my pay grade speciality. My market I've devoted my
Speaker 1: life to is getting people from buy me to through me.
Speaker 1: Why Because I know what it's like to work one
Speaker 1: hundred and thirty three hours a week, drive home from
Speaker 1: the office at two in the morning every night, and
Speaker 1: one night fall asleep and hit an intersection at sixty
Speaker 1: miles an hour. I know that game and wondering what
Speaker 1: the hell am I doing? Luckily I was twenty five
Speaker 1: when that happened, and it woke me up literally physically
Speaker 1: and emotional, and I started to ask what is this about?
Speaker 1: But if you want a path again, make it practical.
Speaker 3: I don't.
Speaker 1: There's too much philosophy around. We need stuff. As Jodaspen says,
Speaker 1: it's not enough to know these days now, you need
Speaker 1: to know how. Yes, right? So from my side, how
Speaker 1: do you get from victimhood to achiever? How do you
Speaker 1: go from to me to buy me? What do you
Speaker 1: got to give up? What do you got to replace
Speaker 1: it with? Pretty simple? First thing you have to give
Speaker 1: up is blame. Blame doesn't work in any theater of life.
Speaker 1: What do you got to replace it with? Personal responsibility?
Speaker 1: If you give up blame and replace it with personal responsibility,
Speaker 1: you can quickly move out of victim into the achiever
Speaker 1: world and it's a far better place to be.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm like in a workshop. I'm I'm in
Speaker 2: a workshop. I'm taking notes like a fucking like a
Speaker 2: UNI student over here. I forgot, I'm in a podcast.
Speaker 2: I'm just taking notes.
Speaker 1: Every day in school day you said that great.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is great, dude, this is great, bro, keep going.
Speaker 2: I'm fucking I'm drinking coffee, I'm taking notes. I feel
Speaker 2: like I'm in a tutorial. I forgot I'm hosting a podcast.
Speaker 1: I just want to add value. So hopefully this will
Speaker 1: be that inspire or give some framework the people to
Speaker 1: be able to be useful for them. That's that's my intent.
Speaker 2: I'm loving it.
Speaker 1: Yep, buy me to throw me that's the key area.
Speaker 1: So what do you got to let go of? And
Speaker 1: some people aren't going to like hearing this. The first
Speaker 1: thing you let go of and buy me if you
Speaker 1: want to progress is the need for control. Some people
Speaker 1: don't like that. Now bear in mind, I didn't say control.
Speaker 1: I said the need for control. Most people are so
Speaker 1: fearful behind the veil. They're so desperate to prove to
Speaker 1: the world they're good enough to get their goals to finally,
Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is, stop paying rent and buy
Speaker 1: their home or you know, pay for their kids, edut,
Speaker 1: whatever it may be. They're so desperate for that. They
Speaker 1: are trying to control things they can't control. Yeah, now
Speaker 1: they're trying to change reality by wrestling with it, and
Speaker 1: I've got news for you. I give that up a
Speaker 1: long time ago because the reality is reality. It keeps winning.
Speaker 1: So giving up the need for control, what do you
Speaker 1: replaced that with? Trust, faith, a sense of knowing, knowing what.
Speaker 1: Let's come back to Einstein. He said, the most powerful
Speaker 1: question you could ask a answer in your lifetime is this,
Speaker 1: Do I live in a friendly or a hostile universe?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Now, if I say I live in a hostile universe,
Speaker 1: whereas that everything happens to me, or I'm in buy me,
Speaker 1: I'm in survival. I'm trying to carve my way out
Speaker 1: and everybody else is. I'm in competition, right, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to fight everything else. Yeah, that's living in a hostile universe,
Speaker 1: and it's bloody exhausting. If you choose to live in
Speaker 1: a friendly universe, where life happens for you, not to you,
Speaker 1: where things happen for three is that if this happened,
Speaker 1: it'll be this or something better. I'm not attached to
Speaker 1: the outcome. I'm just putting one foot in front of
Speaker 1: the other with a smile, doing the best I can,
Speaker 1: leading with my heart, knowing that I'll always be okay
Speaker 1: at some level, now if you can do that, because
Speaker 1: what Einstein was actually saying was there is no friendly universe.
Speaker 1: There is no hostile universe. What he was alluding to
Speaker 1: was something more powerful, and that is it is a
Speaker 1: self reflective universe. See, universe doesn't care what you want,
Speaker 1: doesn't care what you pray for, doesn't care what's on
Speaker 1: your vision board. It cares about who are you showing
Speaker 1: up as? Yeah, and if you can show up in
Speaker 1: partnership with a friendly universe, the external world is a mirror.
Speaker 1: It's going to reflect back evidence of your general attitude,
Speaker 1: not your wishes hoax his eyes that your mind's trying
Speaker 1: to cover up your insecurities with. But what are your
Speaker 1: heart and mind actually aligned with that shows up as
Speaker 1: you authentically. So that's really one of the secrets to
Speaker 1: getting into through me is to start learning to trust.
Speaker 1: And one of the best ways to do that stop
Speaker 1: focusing so much on your damn self. Start looking about
Speaker 1: what can I contribute Because the two biggest laws of
Speaker 1: nature and I didn't make these up. Just look out
Speaker 1: of your window, growth and contribution. If we need certainty, security,
Speaker 1: focused on survival, significance, ego, distraction, pleasure, all of that
Speaker 1: are needs of the personality, but growth and contribution and
Speaker 1: needs of the soul. Why do we need to grow
Speaker 1: so that we can contribute? Why do you get into
Speaker 1: personal growth if it's so you can get more stuff,
Speaker 1: don't expect a lot of help from the universe. If
Speaker 1: you're getting into personal growth so you can become more
Speaker 1: of who you are, so you can find your gifts,
Speaker 1: so you can give it away, expect things to line up.
Speaker 1: So why do so many people, in answer to your
Speaker 1: original question ten minutes ago, why do so many people
Speaker 1: struggle to be externally validated Because they're trying to get
Speaker 1: out of to me or they're trying to validate themselves
Speaker 1: in buy me, and they've not managed to tune into
Speaker 1: a higher part of who they really are that doesn't
Speaker 1: need validation. Oh so you're not six foot three in
Speaker 1: buff Who gives a crap. Whatever hand you got dealt
Speaker 1: with is a hand of unique personal spiritual magnificence. When
Speaker 1: you can look in the mirror and love your uniqueness,
Speaker 1: accept what you perceive to be flaws, what the media
Speaker 1: is going to tell you is a flaw. In case
Speaker 1: you buy their shit, then you can start letting go
Speaker 1: of being an unpaid filmmxs during some big budget, commercial
Speaker 1: driven disaster movie and start starring as your own self.
Speaker 1: And I'll tell you this right off the front. I've
Speaker 1: seen it too many times, Craig, that the people who
Speaker 1: love who they are in the mirror, that are sure
Speaker 1: that have been given a body structure that wouldn't appear
Speaker 1: on the front cover of a magazine, but have that spark,
Speaker 1: that inner ever vescence. They are more attractive to more
Speaker 1: people than somebody that's just saved up for their cosmetic surgeries,
Speaker 1: starve themselves to wafness all right, walking around with fake hair,
Speaker 1: fake nails, fake lashes, fake tan. Right, So, and then
Speaker 1: wonder why they can't get an authentic partner. Yeah right,
Speaker 1: Not because they're bad people, because they were sold a
Speaker 1: lie that you're not good enough the way you are,
Speaker 1: And I'm here to tell you are. When you believe
Speaker 1: that as much as you and I believe in them,
Speaker 1: they will make that first step out of that I
Speaker 1: need to buy this, get that own this. Right. They're
Speaker 1: not going to give a crap about how many likes
Speaker 1: they get on anti social media, which is pretty much
Speaker 1: what it's become. They're going to start living for who
Speaker 1: they are and asking better questions.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love it all right. So I don't
Speaker 2: want to open my door on my shit because everyone
Speaker 2: knows all my stuff. But I've probably in my life
Speaker 2: had what I would call but one of a better term,
Speaker 2: three or four or five epiphanies where it's like fucking
Speaker 2: a light went on, like it's like a curtain pulled back,
Speaker 2: and I went, ah, like I'm the problem, or ah,
Speaker 2: that's how that works, and I could. I won't bore
Speaker 2: you because it ain't about me. But have you did
Speaker 2: you as a young person, did you have an epiphany?
Speaker 2: Have you had an art I'm sure you've had a bunch,
Speaker 2: but tell us about one or two where it's like,
Speaker 2: all of a sudden a light came on and you
Speaker 2: recognized or realized something that was life changing.
Speaker 1: Many moments, but I'll share one.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was at an avent for fifteen years. I was
Speaker 1: an experienced trainer with Tony Robbins. So I travel around
Speaker 1: the world with Tony doing events and helping people and
Speaker 1: interventions and that kind of stuff. But at one time,
Speaker 1: I was always trying to make trainer. Before you become
Speaker 1: a trainer, you're kind of on the leadership team kind
Speaker 1: of an apprentice. My goal was to try to be
Speaker 1: a trainer, which by definition means you never will be
Speaker 1: because you haven't already owned the identity of a trainer. Right. Yeah.
Speaker 1: So I want to be an entrepreneur means you never
Speaker 1: will be right because you're always trying to be something,
Speaker 1: which means you can never step in. I am an entrepreneur.
Speaker 1: It means I'm now going to start looking for opportunities.
Speaker 1: I want to be an entrepreneur means I need a
Speaker 1: business to validate myself anyway, So it was a side
Speaker 1: but I had this epiphany that absolutely shook me to
Speaker 1: my core because it was when I realized that every
Speaker 1: time I thought about something in my past, a scenario,
Speaker 1: a scene, any memory, I always saw myself in the scene.
Speaker 1: Now that clearly isn't a memory because I wasn't outside
Speaker 1: of myself capturing that memory. It was a construct. Wow,
Speaker 1: which meant that even subconsciously, I was always looking through
Speaker 1: the lens of how do people see me? Yeah, to
Speaker 1: the point where I didn't even own my own memories anymore.
Speaker 1: I made them up.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Wow. I was never fully associated. I never remembered something
Speaker 1: through my own eyes. I always remembered it as a
Speaker 1: scene with me in it, and that was like, what
Speaker 1: the hell has my life become trying to chase what
Speaker 1: I call goop? Goop the good opinion of other people. Wow,
Speaker 1: And if you spend your life swimming in this sticky, nasty, smelly,
Speaker 1: potential sucking substance called goop, you are never going to
Speaker 1: do anything other than play I'm a victim or I've
Speaker 1: got to try harder to try to get more of
Speaker 1: the same fee. Yeah. Yeah, And that was a big
Speaker 1: ones like whoa what? Why am I so obsessed? Why
Speaker 1: have I consciously unconsciously created my entire life through What
Speaker 1: do I think other people think of me? As I
Speaker 1: said earlier, Yeah, the reality is this. In fact, I'm
Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna give you a metaphor here that I
Speaker 1: think is going to help a lot of people who
Speaker 1: if they resonate with suffering from goop at some degree. Yes,
Speaker 1: we all star in a movie I've alluded to that right,
Speaker 1: called the Movie of our Life. Now I know, Craig,
Speaker 1: that you star in the movie of your life. How
Speaker 1: do I know that? Because you're the only one that's
Speaker 1: in every single scene of your movie yeah, right, So
Speaker 1: you're the star. There's no co stars. There are two
Speaker 1: other types of people in your movie. At best. There
Speaker 1: may be a supporting cast, sibling, spouse, best friend, partner, whatever. Yep,
Speaker 1: But the vast majority, ninety nine percent plus of people
Speaker 1: in your movie are nothing more than film extras in
Speaker 1: your movie. Now, that's not being disparaging. There's a clarification there.
Speaker 1: What do I mean by filmmaker? Pretty easy? People you're
Speaker 1: no longer thinking about, when they're no longer in your
Speaker 1: current scene. You're right with me. Yeah. So here's the thing.
Speaker 1: Because we walk around as the star of our movie,
Speaker 1: we think everybody else sees us as the star of
Speaker 1: our movie. Yeah, but of course they don't because they're
Speaker 1: not starring in our movie. Whose movie are they starring in?
Speaker 2: Yeah, they're right, yea.
Speaker 1: Our own, which means, by definition, we play one of
Speaker 1: two roles in everyone else's movie at best. For a
Speaker 1: handful of people on what you could count on one hand,
Speaker 1: we are a supporting cast. But the vast majority of
Speaker 1: people in our movie, Craig, specifically, the ones that most
Speaker 1: people invest their energy trying to impress, trying to get
Speaker 1: approval from, trying to be getting a good opinion from
Speaker 1: are nothing more than you know, film mixtures in our movie,
Speaker 1: and we are film extuers in their movie. What does
Speaker 1: that actually mean? You want to tattoo this on inside
Speaker 1: of your eyelids. Most people don't care enough about you
Speaker 1: to bother to give an opinion. Why because they're too
Speaker 1: busy being worried about what they think you're thinking of them.
Speaker 2: Wow.
Speaker 1: Wow, everybody's walking around in their own bubble of self
Speaker 1: importance thinking I wonder what they're thinking of me in
Speaker 1: my bubble of self importance. When they're not because they're thinking,
Speaker 1: I wonder what they're thinking of me in my bubble
Speaker 1: of self importance. And when you burst that bubble, you
Speaker 1: can step into your power. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to tell you something funny. So I
Speaker 2: love this and I don't disagree with anything you're saying.
Speaker 2: So my PhD is in goop, like my literal research.
Speaker 2: My literal research is in a thing called metaperception and
Speaker 2: meta accuracy. But let me draw the draw the line
Speaker 2: in the sand. So what you're speaking about, I think,
Speaker 2: is the not very healthy habit of worrying, worrying about
Speaker 2: what people think of us, whether or not they like
Speaker 2: us all that stuff right, and then trying to keep
Speaker 2: them happy. And my PhD is in a thing called,
Speaker 2: like I said, metaperception, which is having an awareness of
Speaker 2: how you are perceived and processed and experienced by other people,
Speaker 2: so that like, for example, it's important that I try
Speaker 2: to understand the reality, the personal reality and thinking and
Speaker 2: mindset of Peter Sage, so I can have a good
Speaker 2: chat with you. We call that theory of mind. Is
Speaker 2: my ability to understand how you think. You and I
Speaker 2: are in the same conversation right now, but you and
Speaker 2: I are not in the same experience. So it's in
Speaker 2: my interest to try to understand your version of reality
Speaker 2: right now, not agree, not disagree, not fucking value it,
Speaker 2: just go ah. And then, even more importantly me as
Speaker 2: a professional presenter speaker all that bullshit, just like you,
Speaker 2: it's in my interest to know what the Craig experience
Speaker 2: is like my audience. Now, if I think I'm fucking
Speaker 2: riveting and fascinating and engaging and they think I'm fucking
Speaker 2: mindlessly boring, and I don't know, I'm in trouble, right,
Speaker 2: So that's the differentiation. But you are exactly on the
Speaker 2: money like that. The whole the goop acronym. I love it,
Speaker 2: But it is so funny. As you're talking about that,
Speaker 2: I could hear some of my listeners going, hey, that's
Speaker 2: not what you say, but it is what I say,
Speaker 2: because we're talking about different things. But that is a
Speaker 2: that is a really interesting kind of and it's funny
Speaker 2: that you have just explained in very relatable, easy to
Speaker 2: understand terms, something that a lot of people with respect
Speaker 2: who have spent decades studying the fucking human brain and
Speaker 2: mind and social psychology and behavioral psychology can't really articulate that. Well,
Speaker 2: So well done. I love it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, No, I appreciate that. And you know,
Speaker 1: people say, well, where do you go from that? Because
Speaker 1: the revelation itself awareness is the first step right to
Speaker 1: break in those changes. But I say to people, so
Speaker 1: many people are running around seeking that validation, that external ballet,
Speaker 1: like a begging ball, hoping to get some love points
Speaker 1: dropped in it, some validation points dropped in it, some
Speaker 1: approval points dropped in it. Right, And of course it's
Speaker 1: like food, right, once you have some, you're full for
Speaker 1: a while, but soon after you're going to get hungry.
Speaker 1: Because it's never a long term solution. It's like motivation.
Speaker 1: You always need motivation. Inspiration is the nuclear fusion of
Speaker 1: the human soul. You don't need motivating if you're inspired.
Speaker 1: It's two different fuel sources. So how do you how
Speaker 1: do you get out of that external requirement for constantly
Speaker 1: needing valet It's because no amount of compliments, no amount
Speaker 1: of tends on a feedback form from the audience, no
Speaker 1: amount of pat on the back is going to last
Speaker 1: long term. If the pattern that you're looking to try
Speaker 1: to complete is based upon internal insecurities, using external validation
Speaker 1: to solve it, it's just never gonna happen. Right again,
Speaker 1: running east looking for a sunset? So yeah, how do
Speaker 1: you look at you recognize most people out there in
Speaker 1: the world are holding that begging ball to some degree.
Speaker 1: So how do you get out of that trap? Pretty simple?
Speaker 1: You shift the focus one hundred and eighty degrees. Instead
Speaker 1: of saying how can I get significance, You're start saying
Speaker 1: how can I raise the significance of others? Not from
Speaker 1: a horse trade level of transaction, hoping, Oh, if I
Speaker 1: give you some feedback, and then I'm fishing for compliments
Speaker 1: to get some for myself. That's bullshit. That doesn't work.
Speaker 1: Universe doesn't hear that. But how can I shift my focus?
Speaker 1: You look at people like Gandhi, like Mother Teresa, like
Speaker 1: Nelson Mandela. Yeah, I've got them on the wall behind me.
Speaker 1: What was their energy when they walked into room. They
Speaker 1: didn't say look at me, they didn't say please notice me.
Speaker 1: They looked at people, and they made those other people
Speaker 1: feel like the star of their own movie. And if
Speaker 1: you do that, I got news for you. They're gonna
Speaker 1: light you up like the star of yours. You don't
Speaker 1: need to seek validation, you get it by osmosis. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and I can give you another example. As a speaker
Speaker 1: in my early days, that's what I needed. I needed validation.
Speaker 1: Yeah right. I was looking at the feedback forms and thinking, well,
Speaker 1: you know, you could get nine tens and then one
Speaker 1: person give you a two with some nasty comments and
Speaker 1: it put you off for the day.
Speaker 3: Right.
Speaker 1: And my intention going on stage was how can I
Speaker 1: get a good score? Because I thought that's how I
Speaker 1: validated myself and so many people out there. How can
Speaker 1: I get a good score? How can I get more friends?
Speaker 1: How can I get more likes on my post? When
Speaker 1: I show people my feet or my breakfast or some bullshit? Right,
Speaker 1: how can I you know.
Speaker 2: Please don't showish your fucking fate, please.
Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Right? Weird? How can I
Speaker 1: please mum and dad by getting the right career whatever?
Speaker 1: You pick a fricking man. So instead of doing that,
Speaker 1: instead of playing the game of how can I get validation,
Speaker 1: you turn around say how can I validate others? How
Speaker 1: can I make people? How can I put a smile
Speaker 1: on somebody? So? How can I make people feel more
Speaker 1: than rather than less than? Because they cross my path?
Speaker 1: And if you switch your focus there and just play
Speaker 1: the game of raising the significance of others, not to
Speaker 1: score points, but because it feels good, you will start
Speaker 1: letting go of your own insecurities. You won't need validation
Speaker 1: and low and behold. People will actually start treating you
Speaker 1: as some sort of person that validates your own internal
Speaker 1: insecurities as no longer being there. Why because you now
Speaker 1: have something that they want, So rather than going hunting
Speaker 1: for significance, you get it by osmosis. So when I
Speaker 1: made the switch, I got on stage and this was
Speaker 1: like magic. Instead of caring about what was on the
Speaker 1: feedback form, my intention was, I don't care if these
Speaker 1: people know my name. I don't care if they'd like me.
Speaker 1: I'm here to add value. I'm here to serve. And
Speaker 1: if that means some of them need to hear something
Speaker 1: they don't like because it brushes up against their ego,
Speaker 1: but it's what they need to hear from my perspective
Speaker 1: of adding value. And I think it's true in my heart,
Speaker 1: I would fucking say it. Yeah, all right. And if
Speaker 1: that means some people give me a one, it's they're
Speaker 1: on their journey. Yeah right. And I learned a powerful lesson.
Speaker 1: And there's a speaker I'll share this with you, Craig
Speaker 1: and any other speaker's listening. It's from a guy called
Speaker 1: Doug Stephenson who I learned this from twenty years ago
Speaker 1: when I lived in Canada, in Vancouver, Beautiful Soul. And
Speaker 1: he told me what I call the rule of fifty.
Speaker 1: And he says, people usually have to hear something at
Speaker 1: epiphany level that has the epiphany potential fifty times before
Speaker 1: it hits fifty times before it's sink, right, he says,
Speaker 1: So when I go on stage, he said, everybody is
Speaker 1: at a certain number. Some are at six, some are
Speaker 1: at thirty, some are at twenty seven, some are at
Speaker 1: forty three. My job is to go out and move
Speaker 1: everybody up one, it says, And some are going to
Speaker 1: say I don't mean anything. Why because you move them
Speaker 1: from six to seven. But some few people in that
Speaker 1: audience are at forty nine and you get to touch
Speaker 1: them in that level of epiphany. Not because you're smart,
Speaker 1: because you're great, or it's got anything to do with you,
Speaker 1: but because you were blessed enough to ride on the
Speaker 1: shoulders of the forty nine people that went before you. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and when you hold that as an intention, you go out,
Speaker 1: tell me where goop exists in that Tell me where
Speaker 1: I need to validate myself off a feedback form for
Speaker 1: their No, you're doing God's work at a level where
Speaker 1: your job is to raise everybody by one, and hopefully
Speaker 1: so some seeds that a generation downstream, somebody else gets
Speaker 1: to go on stage and touch somebody's life because you
Speaker 1: move them from six to seven and they're now at
Speaker 1: forty nine and they get to hit the fifty.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I want to tell you a
Speaker 2: quick story and then if you've had a similar experience,
Speaker 2: So one of my mates probably maybe nearly twenty years ago,
Speaker 2: Peter was raving about we used to train together, and
Speaker 2: he was raving about this book called The Power of
Speaker 2: Now in this bloke called air Cart totally right, and
Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, eh Cart, totally fuck the Power Now.
Speaker 2: And he's like, you've got to read Yeah, You've got
Speaker 2: to read this book. I'm like, yeah, I got like
Speaker 2: I had a shit attitude, by the way. By the way,
Speaker 2: I went to see Tony Robbins to shit Attitude and
Speaker 2: I loved him. Right, So I get The Power of
Speaker 2: Now and I read it. I read about but grudgingly
Speaker 2: with the worst attitude in the world. I read twenty
Speaker 2: pages and I'm like, my thoughts are I'm going to say,
Speaker 2: my thoughts are maybe ten right, my thoughts are confirmed.
Speaker 2: This is shit. This is shit. Anyway about oh, probably
Speaker 2: a decade later, so maybe ten years ago, I just
Speaker 2: I don't know, I was cleaning up some shit or
Speaker 2: something and I went, oh, this is that book that
Speaker 2: Matt gave me that. I'm like, maybe it was fifteen
Speaker 2: maybe it was five years later, So fifteen years ago,
Speaker 2: because I feel like I've been a bit more enlightened
Speaker 2: for longer. But anyway, I read it, and obviously I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: this is fucking this is genius. How long has this
Speaker 2: been going on? Houses? What do you mean I'm the
Speaker 2: observer of my thoughts? What do you mean I'm the
Speaker 2: you know, the conduit to that that is, you know,
Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god. But it's so funny that,
Speaker 2: you know, when the student's already kind of vibe and
Speaker 2: I read the exact same thing, and it was like
Speaker 2: I'd never seen it before. It was like somebody pulled
Speaker 2: back a curtain on this fucking magical gift. But I'd
Speaker 2: seen the same thing, and I thought, oh, it's funny
Speaker 2: how much that's changed over the years, you know. And
Speaker 2: obviously nothing had changed except me. But have you ever
Speaker 2: had an experience like that where where all of a sudden,
Speaker 2: something that you didn't get you is prof found.
Speaker 1: Yeah, one specific book, but I'll give you a metaphor
Speaker 1: to try to encapsulate it with as well. Yeah. See,
Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier that biological maturity isn't the choice, it's
Speaker 1: part of the rule set, but emotional maturity is. And
Speaker 1: we're all progressing at different levels of emotional maturity. There's
Speaker 1: a lot of pretty old I can I say, oh,
Speaker 1: let's say old bodies running around as emotional teenagers. I
Speaker 1: think we've met some of those and been them at
Speaker 1: some point. But imagine that the levels of consciousness are
Speaker 1: kind of like a mountain. The top of the mountain,
Speaker 1: you've got your enlightenment. Yah, bottom of the mound, you've
Speaker 1: got your victimhood. And if you're halfway up the mountain
Speaker 1: and you turn around to somebody and say, wow, look
Speaker 1: at the sunset and they're at the bottom of that,
Speaker 1: or they're in a valley and all they can see
Speaker 1: is trees, they're going to think you're follow shit. There
Speaker 1: is no sunset, you idiot. I can't see it because
Speaker 1: therefore it doesn't exist in my world. You say no,
Speaker 1: but you don't get it. There's the sun. Come have
Speaker 1: a lot. Now, I don't get it. What is this
Speaker 1: pain body thing? Right? What is this like? You know,
Speaker 1: being this? What is this sense of rigging? Observe? I
Speaker 1: am the witness to my own Yeah whatever, I'm busy
Speaker 1: being busy, right, And only when somebody is at the
Speaker 1: level of the mountain that they are open enough to
Speaker 1: receive the view from where they're at. There's nothing wrong
Speaker 1: with people in the valley struggling, say, what's all this
Speaker 1: personal growth bullshit? It's you can only be open to
Speaker 1: receive the information based upon the level of the mountain
Speaker 1: you're at. It's it's it's it's obvious. Yeah, and when
Speaker 1: if you go back to the biblical teachings, if Jesus
Speaker 1: is teaching something from his level of consciousness, it can
Speaker 1: only be interpreted from lower levels of consciousness. If he
Speaker 1: says turn the other cheek. If you're in victim, you're
Speaker 1: going to see that as being able to be dominated.
Speaker 1: If you're in warrior mode or achiever mode, you're going
Speaker 1: to see that as acquiescing to the enemy and you're
Speaker 1: going to resist. If you're enlightened, you're going to see
Speaker 1: that as a strength beyond a strength because you can't
Speaker 1: be pushed, pauled, controlled, cajoled by external forces. It doesn't
Speaker 1: affect you. Turn the other cheek. Is that all you got?
Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not playing the game, I'm not engaging
Speaker 1: in the battle with you, right, So yeah, there is that.
Speaker 1: And it happened to me with one book which has
Speaker 1: probably been more responsible for changing my life, similar to
Speaker 1: Power of you know now, impact your Jaws and that
Speaker 1: is Power Versus Forced by David Hawkins. And I had
Speaker 1: an amazing friend gentleman called David Becker, not David Beckham,
Speaker 1: but David Becker.
Speaker 2: And who's just who's the author again?
Speaker 1: Mite? Sorry, David Hawkins, the late greats Okay, Power Versus Force.
Speaker 1: I read that book because David gave it to me.
Speaker 1: David is an amazing, beautiful, enlightened soul. He inspired me
Speaker 1: to run the marathon they sab twenty years ago. It's
Speaker 1: just a one of these enlightened and beautiful men. And
Speaker 1: he said that this book had helped change his life.
Speaker 1: So I wanted to read it. But twenty odd years
Speaker 1: ago I was still pretty much buy me mode, and
Speaker 1: I read it. The first third of the book is
Speaker 1: a little heavy. It's kind of chaos theory, quantum mechanics,
Speaker 1: nonlinear dynamics, kinesilgi bit right. It was like you with pain,
Speaker 1: body being this witness, consciousness whatever. Right, couldn't get through
Speaker 1: it too tough. Ten years later, it's actually probably twenty
Speaker 1: five years ago. So fifteen years ago I picked it
Speaker 1: up and read it changed my life, made all of
Speaker 1: the pieces fit into place of understanding other people understanding
Speaker 1: why the World's where it's at. It absolutely blew me
Speaker 1: away of how genius and poetic the model was and
Speaker 1: how much it closed the loop on so many questions
Speaker 1: I had. So yeah, power Versus Force and it was
Speaker 1: part of a trilogy. There was two others, which are
Speaker 1: if if you're not at certain levels of the mountain,
Speaker 1: you're just going to want to color it in.
Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, a little heavy, but but yeah, Power versus
Speaker 3: Force is definitely my power of now in your story.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm loving it. I'm looking at it right now.
Speaker 2: So power versus Force. Everyone the hidden determinants of human behavior.
Speaker 1: David, game change are great questions.
Speaker 3: Just order it.
Speaker 2: I'm going to Yeah, no, I'm going to get it.
Speaker 2: I'm going to buy it when we get off this
Speaker 2: when we get off this call. All right, So a
Speaker 2: couple of things. What do we got We've got maybe
Speaker 2: ten minutes if that's you still got ten minutes.
Speaker 1: Mate, I'm with you.
Speaker 2: When you're a kid, what did you think you were
Speaker 2: going to be when you were ten, twelve, fourteen?
Speaker 1: What did you think you were.
Speaker 2: Going to be or did you just did you did
Speaker 2: not think like that? I don't know what career did
Speaker 2: you think you were going to have profound experience.
Speaker 1: At ten years old, I was in the playground and
Speaker 1: there was a series on television called The Paras by
Speaker 1: Frank Hilton that followed for a Oplatoon on their journey
Speaker 1: from recruits to the Falklands. And I was in the
Speaker 1: playground and we're talking. We'd watch it, our parents had
Speaker 1: it on that night whatever, and a couple of us
Speaker 1: are talking about it. And there's a guy never seen
Speaker 1: him since I was ten, probably doesn't even know what
Speaker 1: impact he had, but he mentioned something that changed my life.
Speaker 1: He said, Yeah, he said, my life ambition is to
Speaker 1: wear the red beret. Wow. Now what blew me away
Speaker 1: out of that statement was I'd never heard the term
Speaker 1: life ambition. That sounded hot. I was too young to
Speaker 1: use the word sexy, but that sounded like captivating a
Speaker 1: life ambition. Something spoke to me, and by the way
Speaker 1: I talk the same one. At ten years old, I
Speaker 1: wanted to be a para. I want to be a
Speaker 1: part of the parachute regiment. So at twelve years old,
Speaker 1: I lied about my age and joined the Army Cadets.
Speaker 1: Should have been thirteen. I progressed rapidly through there to
Speaker 1: a seventeen years old, being the company Saint Major for
Speaker 1: the battalion, number one cadet in the UK, attached to
Speaker 1: a Lord of tenants cadets the Queen, like number one
Speaker 1: marksmen in the county. Blah blah blah, seven national awards.
Speaker 1: I was a soldier. It was absolutely crystal clear. My
Speaker 1: destiny was going to be Parachute Regiment and then Essays
Speaker 1: Special Forces. That was all I cared about. I got
Speaker 1: home from school, I didn't do homework. I put a
Speaker 1: rucksack on my back full of bricks and I went running.
Speaker 1: I saw fitness being one of the big problems. Life
Speaker 1: had other areas. My father was an entrepreneur, He owned
Speaker 1: his own job, kind of owned business. My mom was
Speaker 1: always entrepreneurial. I always wanted to be a businessman as well,
Speaker 1: but soldiering took over. I became the youngest instructor in
Speaker 1: the history of the British Army Cadet Force at fourteen.
Speaker 1: All that stuff. Seventeen years old, I applied join the Army.
Speaker 1: They offer me any job in the Army I want.
Speaker 1: I passed the exam. I said, I want to be
Speaker 1: a parrot. They're like, nah, get a trade it's better
Speaker 1: for you. The business side of me kicked in, says, okay,
Speaker 1: I went parrot engineer. I thought it's highest paid job.
Speaker 1: So two days before I'm due to go in the army,
Speaker 1: I'm out on with the lads. My last night in
Speaker 1: SIV Street, I was also a parrotechnics expert. I took
Speaker 1: a homemade little pyrotechnic device to lead off in a
Speaker 1: parking lot at midnight, just to see myself off go
Speaker 1: bye with the lads. Combustion fusee reacts with the oxygen
Speaker 1: burst into flames. That kind of thing I'm wearing, ironically,
Speaker 1: a bomber jacket. The fuse goes off in my pocket
Speaker 1: in the bar eleven o'clock at night. Smoke's pouring out
Speaker 1: of my jacket. Next minute, boom, this thing goes off,
Speaker 1: sets fire, and my jacket blows two glasses off the bar,
Speaker 1: flash burned down my face. Bounce has thrown me out.
Speaker 1: Call the cops, call the bomb squad. Anyway, let's just
Speaker 1: say my military career didn't get off to a any
Speaker 1: kind of start. Told me to keep my nose clean
Speaker 1: for twelve months and reapply. By that time, I wanted
Speaker 1: to be a businessman. I started my first business at seventeen,
Speaker 1: became an entrepreneur, never looked back. Wow. Yeah, because here's
Speaker 1: what I will say. Great, one thing that that track
Speaker 1: gave me at twelve years old to seventeen, what did
Speaker 1: it teach me? Discipline, how to get up in the morning,
Speaker 1: how to value health and fitness, how to be self motivated,
Speaker 1: all of the qualities that were lining up to become
Speaker 1: an entrepreneur for life, as well as how to teach,
Speaker 1: which is kind of what I'm doing now. So yeah,
Speaker 1: I see it as a divine intervention from the universe
Speaker 1: there to stop me running off killing people for being
Speaker 1: a political porn on a chess game I don't want
Speaker 1: to play, to actually trying to add value and serve
Speaker 1: the world with insights from the path that I've bought.
Speaker 2: All Right, my last question is really I love that
Speaker 2: there's so much stuff. We could do a three hour podcast.
Speaker 2: Obviously we can't, but we're going to get you back
Speaker 2: because I have a name in spoken. I don't want
Speaker 2: to I don't even want to say the things I
Speaker 2: haven't spoken about because I don't want to bring them
Speaker 2: up yet. But maybe an other time. But let's finish
Speaker 2: with you talking to us for a minute or three
Speaker 2: about happiness. I don't care where you go with this,
Speaker 2: but I'm just interested in your take on it. Obviously,
Speaker 2: everybody nobody wants to be less happy. Nobody wants to
Speaker 2: be sad, miserable, depressed, or anxious. It's pretty much the
Speaker 2: universal goal, or one of them. Talk to us about
Speaker 2: that human condition, if you would.
Speaker 1: Happy to I just got back from three days with
Speaker 1: Dr Jo Despenser and Barcelona, and he actually shared something
Speaker 1: from stage when he was being interviewed. That's the same question.
Speaker 1: So he says, what's the secret to being happy? And
Speaker 1: he looked in the interviewer's eyes and he said, stop
Speaker 1: being unhappy. Now that sounds a little simplistic, but I
Speaker 1: have a slightly different take on that I've been teaching
Speaker 1: for a long time, and that is, if you really
Speaker 1: want to be happy, you've got to understand what happiness is.
Speaker 1: Happiness is a short term emotion, and as human beings
Speaker 1: were designed to feel a range of emotions. I don't
Speaker 1: want to be happy at my mother's funeral, right, but
Speaker 1: I was complete. There's no unfinished conversation. She was out
Speaker 1: of pain. It was like there was a there was
Speaker 1: a different sense. There wasn't unhappy, yes, but it wasn't
Speaker 1: like you know, tragic, wasn't like victimhood. So there's a
Speaker 1: difference between understanding happiness, as I said, unfulfillment or joy.
Speaker 1: Joy is a different state. But if you want to
Speaker 1: understand happiness, then understand what it is what causes happiness.
Speaker 1: It's pretty damn simple. Happiness is a byproduct or a
Speaker 1: consequence of thinking happy thoughts. Case closed. Anger is a
Speaker 1: byproduct or consequence of thinking angry thoughts. Case closed. Every
Speaker 1: thought produces a chemical neuropeptide hormone that impacts the biochemistry
Speaker 1: and the bloodstream that then is felt as what we
Speaker 1: call an emotion. But the starting point, the trigger point,
Speaker 1: is the thought. So, okay, if you don't want to
Speaker 1: be you know, miserable, you want to be unhappy, Stop
Speaker 1: thinking miserable thoughts. You want to be depressed, Stop thing
Speaker 1: depressing thought sounds too simple. You want to be happy,
Speaker 1: Start thinking happier thoughts. Now that's the surface answer. How
Speaker 1: do you make it real? You start understanding what your
Speaker 1: rules for happiness are. And now we get into some
Speaker 1: meat and potatoes. Because so many people are walking around
Speaker 1: with rules around what has to happen in order to
Speaker 1: make them happy that they can't control. And that is
Speaker 1: almost like a combination to an uncrackable safe. If everybody
Speaker 1: likes me, if the weather's breaking great, If my boss
Speaker 1: doesn't do this, if this, this, this, this, and this happened,
Speaker 1: and the moon's in frecking Pluto and mercury is not
Speaker 1: in retrograde, then I'll be happy, right, and you walking
Speaker 1: around miserable wondering why life sucks. No. Right, I'll give
Speaker 1: you an analogy for health, because something you'd relate to.
Speaker 1: You know, I used to want to hold chain of
Speaker 1: health clubs. You've owned health clubs, et cetera. Right, So
Speaker 1: what are people's rules for health? Somebody can have a
Speaker 1: rule that says in order to feel healthy and they
Speaker 1: value health. I'm not saying you don't value happiness. I'm
Speaker 1: saying you don't value health. Health is one of your
Speaker 1: top values. So you want to be healthy, but your
Speaker 1: rules for health say that in order for me to
Speaker 1: give myself permission to feel healthy, notice the subconscious language frame.
Speaker 1: Then I have to have ten percent or less body fat.
Speaker 1: I have to eat organic food. I have to train
Speaker 1: four times a week. So what does that mean the
Speaker 1: gym closes for a refit or a bank holiday. You
Speaker 1: can only train three times and now you don't feel healthy? Bullshit,
Speaker 1: You just set yourself up to fail. You have somebody
Speaker 1: else who values health, But their rules are I feel
Speaker 1: healthy when I get out of bed in the morning,
Speaker 1: put two feet on the ground, stretch, drink a glass
Speaker 1: of filded water, and smile and be grateful. Now is
Speaker 1: it all of that inside their control? A bank holiday
Speaker 1: ain't going to change that, right? A measurement on a
Speaker 1: fat caliber caliber ain't going to change that. So what
Speaker 1: are your rules for health determine how you feel healthy? Yes?
Speaker 1: What your rules for happiness determine how you feel happiness?
Speaker 1: I feel happy because I get to be alive at
Speaker 1: a time in human history my ancestors have dreamed about.
Speaker 1: If you can't think of twenty things to be grateful
Speaker 1: for right now, you ain't looking hard enough.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, two.
Speaker 1: Games in life you want to play? Or finish with this?
Speaker 1: If I said to your audience, Craig, I've got a
Speaker 1: check for one hundred thousand dollars, and I will give
Speaker 1: that to anyone who can make a list of ten
Speaker 1: things that suck about their life. I've got a lot
Speaker 1: of people winning that game. But if I say change
Speaker 1: your rules, I've got one hundred thousand dollars. And in
Speaker 1: order for you to get that check, you've got to
Speaker 1: write a list of ten things you are sincerely or
Speaker 1: can be grateful for in your life. I've got news
Speaker 1: for you. Everybody's going to win that game. Why, because
Speaker 1: they're going to look hard enough.
Speaker 2: Yes, yes, right.
Speaker 1: The question isn't can I be happy? I'm not happy?
Speaker 1: Do you want to be happy? The question is what
Speaker 1: game do you want to play?
Speaker 3: Yes?
Speaker 1: Because what's wrong is always available. Unhappiness is always available.
Speaker 1: Turn on the news. We'll give you all the reasons. Right,
Speaker 1: It's all the same news just keeps happening to different people.
Speaker 1: Have they figured that out yet? Turn off the damn
Speaker 1: news and start starring in your own movie rather than
Speaker 1: being recruited as an unpaid film extra in some big
Speaker 1: budget disaster bullshit. That's making you feel unhappy. You start
Speaker 1: with that, and it's going to get easier.
Speaker 2: Mate, you killed that. I had to say that, I
Speaker 2: had to critique you, but fuck you killed that. I
Speaker 2: loved that. That is so good, so true, so inspiring,
Speaker 2: so understandable. How do people connect with you, find you,
Speaker 2: follow you, and get a little bit of Paya Sage
Speaker 2: in their life?
Speaker 1: Sure, Instagram is always a good way. I put a
Speaker 1: lot of stuff out there to try to help people
Speaker 1: the real peters Age. You'll see me on there obviously,
Speaker 1: my website Petersage dot com, a YouTube channel. I'm putting
Speaker 1: a lot of stuff out of I'm on social come
Speaker 1: and follow me. I'm spending a lot of my time
Speaker 1: right now helping coaches, trainers, healers and therapists get more
Speaker 1: financially profitable because it's such a shame my background's business.
Speaker 1: I've made tens of millions of dollars, lost millions of dollars.
Speaker 1: I know the game in businesses, it's all I am.
Speaker 1: But when you see coaches, trained therapists that have the
Speaker 1: skill set to want to serve and heal or contribute,
Speaker 1: but they haven't got a clue how to turn that
Speaker 1: into a six figure lifestyle, it saddens my heart. So
Speaker 1: let me fix the business side for you so you
Speaker 1: can go out and help humanity. That's where I'm at
Speaker 1: right now. So if that resonates, come follow my work.
Speaker 2: Awesome, mate, we'll say goodbye off here in a moment,
Speaker 2: but officially for the moment. Thanks for being on the
Speaker 2: You project. I really appreciate your time.
Speaker 1: Craig, a real pleasure. What you're doing is amazing work
Speaker 1: in the world. My friend. I'm so glad you picked
Speaker 1: that book back up all those years ago and just
Speaker 1: ignited that spark as to who you really are. You're
Speaker 1: a gift to the WORLDFARE appreciate you.