1 00:00:00,640 --> 00:00:01,000 Speaker 1: A team. 2 00:00:01,040 --> 00:00:04,360 Speaker 2: Welcome to another installment of the Youth Project. Craig Anthony, Harper, Peter, 3 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:07,520 Speaker 2: what would it be, Peter, Michael Sage, Peter Anthony. I 4 00:00:07,520 --> 00:00:10,000 Speaker 2: wonder if it's a vow. What's your middle name? 5 00:00:10,039 --> 00:00:10,200 Speaker 3: Bro? 6 00:00:11,640 --> 00:00:13,680 Speaker 1: You'd have been guessing for a while. I don't have one. 7 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 2: Oh, well, there you go, Peter Sage. Now Peter Sage 8 00:00:17,120 --> 00:00:21,200 Speaker 2: and I connected through Tony Man's. Tony jack Mans, who's 9 00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:22,520 Speaker 2: a friend of mine who's been on the show a 10 00:00:22,560 --> 00:00:25,400 Speaker 2: little bit talking about his journey, said you've got to 11 00:00:25,440 --> 00:00:28,480 Speaker 2: get this bloke on. He changed my life. And so 12 00:00:28,800 --> 00:00:32,000 Speaker 2: if you change someone's life, and somebody's pumping up your tires, 13 00:00:32,080 --> 00:00:35,360 Speaker 2: that's an Australian expression, mate, pumping up your tires. So 14 00:00:35,400 --> 00:00:37,800 Speaker 2: he speaks highly of you. So I'm excited to chat 15 00:00:37,800 --> 00:00:41,440 Speaker 2: with you. Welcome to the You Project, Craig. 16 00:00:41,200 --> 00:00:44,120 Speaker 1: Real pleasure to be here. And again, any recommendation from 17 00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:46,760 Speaker 1: Tony is something I'm happy to contribute to. 18 00:00:47,680 --> 00:00:50,800 Speaker 2: Well, we appreciate you. Now without me reading out some 19 00:00:50,920 --> 00:00:53,199 Speaker 2: I was going to say some boring bio. It's definitely 20 00:00:53,240 --> 00:00:55,480 Speaker 2: not a boring buyer. But rather than me read something 21 00:00:55,560 --> 00:01:00,280 Speaker 2: off a computer screen, tell my audience a little bit 22 00:01:00,320 --> 00:01:02,640 Speaker 2: about you. Some will know you, but a lot won't 23 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:05,520 Speaker 2: tell my group a little bit about who you are 24 00:01:05,560 --> 00:01:08,839 Speaker 2: and what you do. If you don't mind, please certainly. 25 00:01:08,840 --> 00:01:11,039 Speaker 1: And there's two sides of this. One is I'll give 26 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:13,039 Speaker 1: you a brief overview. The other is to remind you 27 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:13,680 Speaker 1: I'm just a guy. 28 00:01:15,080 --> 00:01:16,759 Speaker 2: It's a blind Yeah. 29 00:01:16,880 --> 00:01:18,680 Speaker 1: I dropped out of school of sixteen. I've got no 30 00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:21,840 Speaker 1: formal education. I went I got a PhD in results. 31 00:01:22,520 --> 00:01:27,800 Speaker 1: I started my first company at seventeen. Since then probably 32 00:01:27,880 --> 00:01:31,120 Speaker 1: had twenties seven to twenty eight companies, many internationals. Some 33 00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:34,880 Speaker 1: have been multimillion dollar success stories, some have been absolute failures, 34 00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:37,120 Speaker 1: some have wiped me out at the knees, some should 35 00:01:37,120 --> 00:01:39,560 Speaker 1: have stayed ideas when I was drunk, and pretty much 36 00:01:39,560 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 1: everything in between. But through that journey as a born 37 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:48,440 Speaker 1: and bred entrepreneur, the parallel journey that I had starting 38 00:01:48,440 --> 00:01:52,920 Speaker 1: at seventeen was personal growth, human behavior, trying to understand 39 00:01:52,960 --> 00:01:55,240 Speaker 1: why we do what we do. We'll guess this up 40 00:01:55,240 --> 00:01:57,559 Speaker 1: in the morning, excited or not. And so that's really 41 00:01:57,560 --> 00:01:59,880 Speaker 1: what my journey is, A sort of come full circle 42 00:02:00,200 --> 00:02:02,920 Speaker 1: to teaching that now my main business now for the 43 00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,880 Speaker 1: last two to three years has really been focusing on 44 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,800 Speaker 1: how to help other people learn from most of my mistakes. 45 00:02:08,200 --> 00:02:10,359 Speaker 1: But yeah, just a guy. I've seen a lot, done, 46 00:02:10,360 --> 00:02:11,760 Speaker 1: a lot, made, a lot, lost a lot, had a 47 00:02:11,800 --> 00:02:13,520 Speaker 1: lot of fun. Here to help if I can. 48 00:02:14,880 --> 00:02:17,640 Speaker 2: The world is your classroom and every day is a lesson. Dude, 49 00:02:17,680 --> 00:02:20,360 Speaker 2: Same with me, Same with me. What did you you 50 00:02:20,400 --> 00:02:23,880 Speaker 2: said you some things work, some things didn't work, and 51 00:02:24,400 --> 00:02:28,320 Speaker 2: you know, failure, lesson growth, whatever we want to call it, 52 00:02:28,360 --> 00:02:31,200 Speaker 2: but let's let's go with failure for the moment. What 53 00:02:31,240 --> 00:02:33,239 Speaker 2: did the failures teach you? And I'm sure there was 54 00:02:33,280 --> 00:02:35,360 Speaker 2: a range of lessons, but what did you learn through 55 00:02:35,840 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 2: fucking up? What did you learn through not getting the 56 00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 2: outcome that you wanted? 57 00:02:41,840 --> 00:02:45,720 Speaker 1: I often help. Failure is my biggest capital per Most 58 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,160 Speaker 1: people link the word failure because they've had an indoctrination 59 00:02:49,240 --> 00:02:51,920 Speaker 1: through the school system of thinking if you fail something, 60 00:02:52,240 --> 00:02:54,560 Speaker 1: then your life is over, You're not good enough. It 61 00:02:54,600 --> 00:02:56,840 Speaker 1: triggers the fear that we are and all of that 62 00:02:56,960 --> 00:03:00,400 Speaker 1: deeply shame. And that's not if you know, there is 63 00:03:00,440 --> 00:03:02,880 Speaker 1: no real failure in business. There's only a different outcome 64 00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,840 Speaker 1: to what you want it, and so it was important 65 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,800 Speaker 1: to understand that failure in that regard that the biggest 66 00:03:09,880 --> 00:03:11,760 Speaker 1: lesson you want to learn is to how to reframe 67 00:03:11,800 --> 00:03:16,639 Speaker 1: failure because there is no failure, it's just different outcomes. 68 00:03:16,840 --> 00:03:20,040 Speaker 1: And business is dynamic, it's always moving, things are always changing. 69 00:03:20,040 --> 00:03:22,000 Speaker 1: There's a thousand things that day outside of your control 70 00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,480 Speaker 1: that you never can control. So learning how to roll 71 00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,400 Speaker 1: and flow with the bends of the river of life 72 00:03:26,480 --> 00:03:29,160 Speaker 1: rather than fight the current and swim upstream is probably 73 00:03:29,160 --> 00:03:33,000 Speaker 1: one of your biggest assets or skills as an entrepreneur. So, yeah, 74 00:03:33,880 --> 00:03:36,360 Speaker 1: I learned a lot. I also learned that business is 75 00:03:36,400 --> 00:03:39,880 Speaker 1: about adding value. It's not about trying to get something. 76 00:03:40,360 --> 00:03:46,040 Speaker 1: You don't get sales. You serve clients. And from that perspective, 77 00:03:46,040 --> 00:03:47,640 Speaker 1: it shifted a lot in my early days. 78 00:03:48,400 --> 00:03:51,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love it. Did you ever get to 79 00:03:52,080 --> 00:03:54,080 Speaker 2: you know what's that saying? It's something like, you know, 80 00:03:55,320 --> 00:03:57,640 Speaker 2: make sure you're climbing the right mountain, right, did you 81 00:03:57,640 --> 00:03:59,440 Speaker 2: ever get to the top of the mountain? And did 82 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,960 Speaker 2: you ever get to the top of the mountain? Go, 83 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 2: oh fucking hell, this is not the one. This is 84 00:04:03,400 --> 00:04:06,080 Speaker 2: like the view is good, but this isn't what I thought, 85 00:04:06,080 --> 00:04:07,440 Speaker 2: and this isn't where I need to be. 86 00:04:09,280 --> 00:04:13,280 Speaker 1: It took me, thankfully early in my career mid twenties, 87 00:04:14,160 --> 00:04:16,960 Speaker 1: until I finally realized there was a massive difference between 88 00:04:16,960 --> 00:04:21,799 Speaker 1: a life chasing success and a life chasing fulfillment. And 89 00:04:22,160 --> 00:04:24,599 Speaker 1: so many people, as you say, get to the top 90 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,160 Speaker 1: of success mount and they want to jump off right 91 00:04:27,320 --> 00:04:32,320 Speaker 1: because they were sold even the entrepreneurial lie. And this 92 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:37,680 Speaker 1: is so if it wasn't as tragic, it would be comedic. 93 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,039 Speaker 1: And that is that I've seen so many people that 94 00:04:41,200 --> 00:04:44,320 Speaker 1: slave away, sacrificing everything to try to elbow their way 95 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: up that mountain. And even if they get their number, 96 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,040 Speaker 1: and everyone's got a number, but even if they get it, 97 00:04:50,080 --> 00:04:51,720 Speaker 1: which is the one percent of the one percent that 98 00:04:51,800 --> 00:04:55,920 Speaker 1: finally cash out, right, They've sacrificed their relationship, They've missed 99 00:04:55,920 --> 00:04:59,160 Speaker 1: their kids growing up, They've put everything in blood, sweat 100 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,240 Speaker 1: and tears. They get the top of success mountain, they 101 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,800 Speaker 1: cash in. What do they actually do with their money? 102 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:06,560 Speaker 1: When I've coached enough of them, I'll tell you The 103 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:08,359 Speaker 1: first thing is they do is they pay for their divorce. 104 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,960 Speaker 1: The second thing is they try to hire a personal 105 00:05:12,040 --> 00:05:14,000 Speaker 1: trainer at best or a surgeon at worst to try 106 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,640 Speaker 1: to get their health back. And then they buy their 107 00:05:15,720 --> 00:05:17,560 Speaker 1: kids loads of crap so they hopefully love them again. 108 00:05:18,520 --> 00:05:22,520 Speaker 1: It's the entrepreneurial joke. So understanding how to navigate what 109 00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,520 Speaker 1: you would cause success mountain and turn that into fulfillment 110 00:05:25,560 --> 00:05:29,080 Speaker 1: mountain is a big psychological shift for a lot of people, 111 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:32,600 Speaker 1: and part of it was driven by you say, what 112 00:05:32,839 --> 00:05:35,040 Speaker 1: I learned from failure? One of the things I learned 113 00:05:35,440 --> 00:05:38,120 Speaker 1: is that trying to prove to the world that you're 114 00:05:38,160 --> 00:05:42,160 Speaker 1: good enough in order to avoid the insecurities that you're not, 115 00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:45,760 Speaker 1: which I had many of, is a fool's gain. Why 116 00:05:46,400 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: because eighty percent of people don't care about your problems 117 00:05:48,960 --> 00:05:52,760 Speaker 1: and the other twenty percent they're glad you have them. 118 00:05:53,120 --> 00:05:57,039 Speaker 2: So fucking true. Why do you say, why do you 119 00:05:57,080 --> 00:06:00,000 Speaker 2: think that is great? That's great. It's kind of brute, 120 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:03,839 Speaker 2: but kind of true. Why do you think that we 121 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,640 Speaker 2: are and I'm talking about the collective we so maybe 122 00:06:06,680 --> 00:06:09,160 Speaker 2: not every person listening, but definitely me for a lot 123 00:06:09,160 --> 00:06:12,000 Speaker 2: of my life. Why are we so desperate to get 124 00:06:12,160 --> 00:06:14,960 Speaker 2: approval from people who don't love us or you know, 125 00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:18,120 Speaker 2: oftentimes even care about us. What is that? 126 00:06:18,240 --> 00:06:22,479 Speaker 1: It's a rotualization, but it's accurate. And primary reason for 127 00:06:22,520 --> 00:06:25,239 Speaker 1: that is because as human beings. We have two natural fears. 128 00:06:25,560 --> 00:06:27,880 Speaker 1: We're born with two fears, the fear of loud noises 129 00:06:27,920 --> 00:06:31,160 Speaker 1: and the fear of falling. Everything else is learned and 130 00:06:31,360 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 1: just through the psychological journey of how we take on 131 00:06:35,200 --> 00:06:38,800 Speaker 1: the role as parenting as human beings. I'm not saying 132 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:40,680 Speaker 1: it's right along and I don't have any other answers 133 00:06:40,720 --> 00:06:42,240 Speaker 1: because A, I'm not a parent. You know, I have 134 00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,560 Speaker 1: two Jack Russell Terriers, right, they're my kids. But when 135 00:06:45,600 --> 00:06:49,080 Speaker 1: it comes to understanding that the journey, it's worth looking 136 00:06:49,080 --> 00:06:52,680 Speaker 1: at it from this angle, and that is that when 137 00:06:52,680 --> 00:06:56,039 Speaker 1: a baby's born, it has what we call unconditional love. 138 00:06:56,520 --> 00:06:58,520 Speaker 1: Why because if it wakes you up at two in 139 00:06:58,560 --> 00:07:00,880 Speaker 1: the morning, it's in con venient as a parent, but 140 00:07:00,880 --> 00:07:02,720 Speaker 1: you don't blame the baby because it's what babies do. 141 00:07:03,160 --> 00:07:05,560 Speaker 1: And without that level of attention, A, you're a bad 142 00:07:05,600 --> 00:07:07,480 Speaker 1: parent and be it'll probably die. We call it failure 143 00:07:07,520 --> 00:07:09,680 Speaker 1: to thrive centrome if it doesn't have the physical touch 144 00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,440 Speaker 1: of nature, because babies are one hundred percent useless when 145 00:07:13,440 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: it comes to self sufficiency. It's just part of the game. 146 00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:17,840 Speaker 1: And the reason for that is they have mirror neurons 147 00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:20,040 Speaker 1: because they're there to learn from their environment. We don't 148 00:07:20,080 --> 00:07:23,120 Speaker 1: have that many in built instincts, like things that hatch 149 00:07:23,120 --> 00:07:25,600 Speaker 1: out of an egg and never see their parents. So 150 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:30,800 Speaker 1: at around eighteen months to two years old, right, babies 151 00:07:30,840 --> 00:07:35,360 Speaker 1: go through a transition which we collectively call the Terrible twos. Right, well, 152 00:07:35,360 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 1: all of a sudden, now they go from this cute 153 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:41,800 Speaker 1: little baby to this foot stomping terror. Right now, Why 154 00:07:41,920 --> 00:07:45,200 Speaker 1: is that? Parents don't know? Well, it's understanding the psychology. 155 00:07:45,680 --> 00:07:49,160 Speaker 1: You've just had your entire life of two years being 156 00:07:49,200 --> 00:07:52,000 Speaker 1: the center of attention. Now you're no longer the center 157 00:07:52,040 --> 00:07:53,760 Speaker 1: of attention, but you still want to be. There's a 158 00:07:53,840 --> 00:07:56,840 Speaker 1: kick back to that, So it's understanding context. But at 159 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,480 Speaker 1: some point during that journey of two to three to 160 00:07:59,480 --> 00:08:03,160 Speaker 1: four years old, the parents understand that there is now 161 00:08:03,200 --> 00:08:06,600 Speaker 1: a feedback mechanism. The baby is now starting to understand 162 00:08:06,920 --> 00:08:10,240 Speaker 1: levels of communication, which is why the first word most 163 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:12,800 Speaker 1: people learn humans is no, right, because it's what they 164 00:08:12,880 --> 00:08:15,480 Speaker 1: hear the most, because parents are always saying don't do that, 165 00:08:15,520 --> 00:08:19,160 Speaker 1: don't do that out of fear and security for the kid. However, 166 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,320 Speaker 1: if we take out earliest memory four five six years old, 167 00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:31,840 Speaker 1: the reason that most people have such a fear of 168 00:08:32,120 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 1: failure or are desperately trying to prove to the world 169 00:08:34,520 --> 00:08:36,840 Speaker 1: that good enough, regardless of whether the world validates it 170 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:42,280 Speaker 1: or not. Is because when that the model of parenting 171 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:45,440 Speaker 1: that is then overlaid, when there is two way communication 172 00:08:46,160 --> 00:08:49,120 Speaker 1: is that if you do something I approve of or 173 00:08:49,160 --> 00:08:51,640 Speaker 1: I think is in your best interest, I reward you 174 00:08:52,240 --> 00:08:57,280 Speaker 1: with validation, approval, yeah, love, et cetera. When you do 175 00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,719 Speaker 1: something outside of what I deem to be the correct behavior, 176 00:09:01,400 --> 00:09:04,959 Speaker 1: the perception of the child not the reality, because the 177 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,040 Speaker 1: parent still loves the kid, but the perception of the 178 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:10,880 Speaker 1: child is that love, approval, validation is withdrawn, so that 179 00:09:10,960 --> 00:09:13,240 Speaker 1: by the time we get to our earliest memory, we've 180 00:09:13,240 --> 00:09:18,040 Speaker 1: already got several years of being conditioned that love is 181 00:09:18,640 --> 00:09:23,480 Speaker 1: earned through correct behavior, and we then spend the rest 182 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:25,920 Speaker 1: of our lives validating that in our own relationships. But 183 00:09:25,960 --> 00:09:30,319 Speaker 1: more importantly, it instills the primary human fear that every 184 00:09:30,400 --> 00:09:33,880 Speaker 1: single person has to some degree, and that is the 185 00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:37,800 Speaker 1: fear we're not enough yeah wow, which, ultimately, if you 186 00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,320 Speaker 1: peel back the onion, one more layer is the fear 187 00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 1: we won't be loved. So we spend most of our 188 00:09:43,040 --> 00:09:47,880 Speaker 1: life adapting our behavior consciously or unconsciously forming a personality 189 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:53,400 Speaker 1: consciously or unconsciously around trying to get the approval of validation. 190 00:09:54,360 --> 00:09:58,480 Speaker 1: If your parents were angry and you had to toe 191 00:09:58,559 --> 00:09:59,960 Speaker 1: the line, you became a people. Please. 192 00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,000 Speaker 2: Yeah. 193 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,280 Speaker 1: If you parents were chaotic, you had to try to 194 00:10:03,320 --> 00:10:07,080 Speaker 1: form some level of control. If your parents were distant, 195 00:10:07,120 --> 00:10:09,280 Speaker 1: you'd create more imagination in your head, and now you're 196 00:10:09,280 --> 00:10:11,960 Speaker 1: a dreamer. That there's many patterns that are fixed that 197 00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:17,720 Speaker 1: then project throughout our lives, but ultimately their adaptation mechanisms 198 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:21,040 Speaker 1: to avoid the primary fear that were not enough. 199 00:10:22,440 --> 00:10:26,679 Speaker 2: One of my favorite quotes from Oscar Wilde is be yourself. 200 00:10:26,720 --> 00:10:31,640 Speaker 2: Everyone else has already taken just taken right, and that. 201 00:10:31,800 --> 00:10:34,640 Speaker 2: I love that. That's kind of cute, but it at 202 00:10:34,679 --> 00:10:38,920 Speaker 2: the same time, like a lot of the messaging, especially 203 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,640 Speaker 2: for young people, is no, you need to look like this, 204 00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,880 Speaker 2: you need to be drinking this, you need to be 205 00:10:44,960 --> 00:10:47,959 Speaker 2: driving that, you need to be wearing that. And not 206 00:10:48,040 --> 00:10:51,320 Speaker 2: just young people, I guess, especially being reinforced, I had 207 00:10:51,360 --> 00:10:53,720 Speaker 2: to sound like the old guy. But you know, social 208 00:10:53,760 --> 00:10:56,600 Speaker 2: media serves. Social media is just a tool. I'm not 209 00:10:56,640 --> 00:10:59,040 Speaker 2: against social media at all. I use it, You use it, 210 00:10:59,720 --> 00:11:02,160 Speaker 2: you know, and it can do some really good things, 211 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,520 Speaker 2: But there's this kind of there's this dichotomy of messages. 212 00:11:05,600 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 2: On the one hand, we're being told you're enough, you're 213 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,120 Speaker 2: all you need, you know, be you be authentic, but 214 00:11:12,160 --> 00:11:14,400 Speaker 2: we're also being told, no, you need to have more 215 00:11:14,480 --> 00:11:16,800 Speaker 2: of this lesson, that you need to be bigger and 216 00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,640 Speaker 2: leaner and prettier and handsomer and all of these things, 217 00:11:21,320 --> 00:11:24,320 Speaker 2: you know, and that on a level, I feel like 218 00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:28,600 Speaker 2: we're trying to resolve internal issues with external solutions Peter. 219 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,960 Speaker 1: Correct, and it's never going to happen. Why Because the 220 00:11:34,040 --> 00:11:37,679 Speaker 1: number one rule of relationships, for example, is nobody can 221 00:11:37,679 --> 00:11:40,280 Speaker 1: ever love you more than you love yourself. And if 222 00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:45,520 Speaker 1: you're constantly seeking external validation to cover up internal securities, 223 00:11:45,960 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 1: you're you're running east looking for a sunset. And while 224 00:11:49,720 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 1: you're running east looking for that sunset, then you're being 225 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:55,120 Speaker 1: sold at the problem. The reason you haven't seen the 226 00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,480 Speaker 1: sunset yet is you haven't got the right sneakers, you 227 00:11:57,520 --> 00:11:59,720 Speaker 1: haven't got the right diet, you haven't hired the right 228 00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:03,120 Speaker 1: person trainer. You're just not hustling hard enough, and so 229 00:12:03,240 --> 00:12:06,640 Speaker 1: you buy into all the external solutions hoping that one day, 230 00:12:06,679 --> 00:12:09,920 Speaker 1: if you just crack the code, that sunset will appear. 231 00:12:10,679 --> 00:12:13,959 Speaker 1: And it's a fundamental paradigm shift that most people need 232 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 1: a break out of, which is why I said, most 233 00:12:15,679 --> 00:12:18,080 Speaker 1: people don't care about your problem. The other twenty percent 234 00:12:18,120 --> 00:12:20,640 Speaker 1: they're glad you have them. Yeah, stop trying to validate 235 00:12:20,679 --> 00:12:23,680 Speaker 1: yourself through the eyes of others. It's never gonna work. 236 00:12:24,160 --> 00:12:26,959 Speaker 1: So if you want to resolve some of that, let's 237 00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:34,000 Speaker 1: get practical. Right, if we create a model of understanding 238 00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:37,160 Speaker 1: ourselves in the mirror, which most people have no clue 239 00:12:37,160 --> 00:12:39,880 Speaker 1: how to interpret apart from through the lens of insecurity. 240 00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:42,680 Speaker 1: Not good enough. Oh yeah, I noticed what's wrong before 241 00:12:42,679 --> 00:12:45,720 Speaker 1: I notice what's right. I can't even receive compliments that 242 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,319 Speaker 1: kind of stuff. Poor self image. You want to see 243 00:12:48,320 --> 00:12:51,520 Speaker 1: an area people destroy themselves, it's self image. And so 244 00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:55,880 Speaker 1: let's create a model. Einstein said something powerful. He said, 245 00:12:55,920 --> 00:12:57,840 Speaker 1: you can't solve a problem at the same level of 246 00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:01,640 Speaker 1: consciousness that created the problem. Sounds pretty smart. He was 247 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,079 Speaker 1: a smart guy. What the hell does it mean? Well, 248 00:13:05,200 --> 00:13:07,360 Speaker 1: if you take the word consciousness, you've kind of got 249 00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:10,000 Speaker 1: two camps. You've got the left brainers that are still 250 00:13:10,040 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: trying to prove the thesis that the brain creates consciousness 251 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,920 Speaker 1: and They've never been able to prove that, nor will 252 00:13:14,960 --> 00:13:17,560 Speaker 1: they because the brain doesn't create consciousness any more than 253 00:13:17,559 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: the television creates producers and writes programs. Right, it's you know, 254 00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,000 Speaker 1: it doesn't work that way. On the other side, the 255 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,680 Speaker 1: right brainers at the extreme other end, are all about, 256 00:13:27,760 --> 00:13:30,040 Speaker 1: you know, connect to the divine. Let's hold hands sincome 257 00:13:30,080 --> 00:13:32,559 Speaker 1: by our and some magical formula will present itself and 258 00:13:32,640 --> 00:13:35,760 Speaker 1: we all love each other. Doesn't pay the mortgage on Friday. 259 00:13:36,800 --> 00:13:40,240 Speaker 1: So let's try to look at how we can get 260 00:13:40,559 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: value from what Einstein was trying to teach us. So 261 00:13:44,640 --> 00:13:46,400 Speaker 1: if we take conscious and if you struggle with the 262 00:13:46,440 --> 00:13:50,200 Speaker 1: word yet, just call it awareness, right, because that's ultimately 263 00:13:50,240 --> 00:13:54,439 Speaker 1: what you are. You are an awareness. Right. So there 264 00:13:54,440 --> 00:13:57,559 Speaker 1: are four levels, and this is a model. It's only 265 00:13:57,559 --> 00:13:59,319 Speaker 1: a model, and we use models just to try to 266 00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:01,840 Speaker 1: get some advantage as to how we can be better. Right, 267 00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:05,240 Speaker 1: it's not the truth, because you know, I actually do 268 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:07,959 Speaker 1: know the truth with the capital T, right, And anyone 269 00:14:07,960 --> 00:14:10,160 Speaker 1: else tells you a different truth is because they're trying 270 00:14:10,200 --> 00:14:11,839 Speaker 1: to sell you some other crap. So I'll give it 271 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:13,959 Speaker 1: you for free. Here's the truth with the capital T. 272 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,360 Speaker 1: We don't know the damn truth. Right, So let's just 273 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 1: own that. So this is just a model, right, four levels, 274 00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:26,440 Speaker 1: four levels of consciousness. The first level at the bottom 275 00:14:26,440 --> 00:14:28,960 Speaker 1: of the tree is what I call the level of 276 00:14:29,240 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 1: to me, also known as victimhood. Why because the mantra 277 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,160 Speaker 1: of to me goes something like this, Well, I would 278 00:14:36,240 --> 00:14:38,200 Speaker 1: have the house, the car, the body, of the relationship, 279 00:14:38,200 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 1: the life I want, but everything happens to me. Yeah, 280 00:14:43,840 --> 00:14:46,840 Speaker 1: now that sucks. And nowhere in the universe does life 281 00:14:46,880 --> 00:14:49,040 Speaker 1: reward that level of consciousness other than to give you 282 00:14:49,080 --> 00:14:52,280 Speaker 1: more crap to complain about. And some people then validate 283 00:14:52,320 --> 00:14:54,880 Speaker 1: themselves by that story, which is why you try to 284 00:14:54,880 --> 00:14:57,200 Speaker 1: solve their problem, they'll hang onto it like a trophy. 285 00:14:57,960 --> 00:14:58,120 Speaker 2: Right. 286 00:14:58,240 --> 00:15:00,000 Speaker 1: Or you manage to solve their problem, they'll go find 287 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:00,560 Speaker 1: and another one. 288 00:15:01,160 --> 00:15:01,840 Speaker 2: Yeah, right. 289 00:15:01,880 --> 00:15:04,040 Speaker 1: If their enemy dies, they'll find somebody else to blame 290 00:15:04,080 --> 00:15:07,040 Speaker 1: and complain about. Right, it's the level of victimhood. And 291 00:15:07,120 --> 00:15:08,840 Speaker 1: unfortunately there's a lot of people that get stuck there 292 00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:12,880 Speaker 1: for one reason or another. But ultimately, if you're maturing emotionally, 293 00:15:13,520 --> 00:15:15,680 Speaker 1: you know which is a choice. You know, we don't 294 00:15:15,680 --> 00:15:18,080 Speaker 1: get to choose whether we're mature physically. You and I 295 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:22,680 Speaker 1: certainly aware of that, but biologically it's part of the 296 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:27,240 Speaker 1: rule set. Emotionally, spiritually, energetically, it's a choice. So if 297 00:15:27,240 --> 00:15:29,320 Speaker 1: you choose to want to grow out of victimhood, you 298 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:31,880 Speaker 1: move to the second level of consciousness, and that level 299 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:34,880 Speaker 1: is what I call buy me. Why because you're sick 300 00:15:34,920 --> 00:15:36,640 Speaker 1: and tired of being a victim. You know you want 301 00:15:36,680 --> 00:15:38,480 Speaker 1: the life you want and if it's going to happen, 302 00:15:38,600 --> 00:15:41,160 Speaker 1: it's going to happen by me. Yeah, I'm not waiting 303 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:43,560 Speaker 1: for the life to come save me. No one's coming 304 00:15:43,560 --> 00:15:46,320 Speaker 1: to do that. People in victim mode secretly hope someone's 305 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,080 Speaker 1: coming to save it. Ever, never gonna happen. Right, So 306 00:15:50,400 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: the problem in buy me is this, you are now 307 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:56,840 Speaker 1: fighting reality. You're swimming upstream against the current and you 308 00:15:56,880 --> 00:15:59,200 Speaker 1: are you're kind of bending the branch back on the 309 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,040 Speaker 1: tree of life, and every time you let go, it 310 00:16:01,080 --> 00:16:04,960 Speaker 1: slaps you in the face. It's exhausting. You can hustle 311 00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:07,640 Speaker 1: and get stuff done, but that's running up success mountain, 312 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:10,040 Speaker 1: getting to the top and saying I don't like the view, 313 00:16:10,560 --> 00:16:14,600 Speaker 1: or dying of a heart attack halfway. That's the game. 314 00:16:14,680 --> 00:16:18,640 Speaker 1: Most most of personal growth. Most people listening to podcasts 315 00:16:18,680 --> 00:16:23,040 Speaker 1: like this are in one of two camps. Either they're 316 00:16:23,040 --> 00:16:25,200 Speaker 1: in to me, trying to get to buy me and 317 00:16:25,360 --> 00:16:27,720 Speaker 1: just need that motivation, that kick up the backside, that 318 00:16:27,840 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 1: reminder that it's not who they are, or they're in 319 00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,240 Speaker 1: low by me, trying to get to a higher level 320 00:16:34,240 --> 00:16:37,520 Speaker 1: of buy me. Yeah, I earn fifty grand a year, 321 00:16:37,520 --> 00:16:39,080 Speaker 1: I want one hundred and fifty. I earn a million, 322 00:16:39,080 --> 00:16:40,480 Speaker 1: I want ten million. I want to ten next this 323 00:16:40,520 --> 00:16:43,600 Speaker 1: I want to It's the hustle mentality. It's the how 324 00:16:43,640 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 1: do I get more? How do I achieve more? Do more? Right? 325 00:16:46,640 --> 00:16:49,280 Speaker 1: Because victimhood looking over my shoulder ain't where I want 326 00:16:49,280 --> 00:16:51,200 Speaker 1: to go. So I want to move forward, thinking the 327 00:16:51,240 --> 00:16:53,760 Speaker 1: further I get from that, the better my life will be. 328 00:16:54,400 --> 00:16:57,600 Speaker 1: Not realizing that you're now getting exhausted, You're burnt out, 329 00:16:57,640 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 1: stressed out, you don't have energy to sleep with your 330 00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,920 Speaker 1: partner at night. You've forgotten what your kid's birthday because 331 00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:05,120 Speaker 1: you're too busy trying to keep your eyes away with caffeine. 332 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,640 Speaker 1: You get the idea. So by me is a necessary 333 00:17:08,760 --> 00:17:12,280 Speaker 1: stage of development, but it is not where all the 334 00:17:12,520 --> 00:17:17,520 Speaker 1: fulfillment lies. That comes in step three, third level of consciousness, 335 00:17:18,040 --> 00:17:21,399 Speaker 1: which is what I call Through me and through me 336 00:17:21,520 --> 00:17:23,760 Speaker 1: is where you stop fighting the river of life and 337 00:17:23,800 --> 00:17:27,200 Speaker 1: you start learning how to sail with the bends. You're 338 00:17:27,240 --> 00:17:30,080 Speaker 1: no longer trying to resist. You're practicing a level of 339 00:17:30,119 --> 00:17:33,080 Speaker 1: non resistance. You're not passive. It's not from an apathetic 340 00:17:33,160 --> 00:17:35,960 Speaker 1: level of victimhood into me, but it's not the go 341 00:17:35,960 --> 00:17:38,480 Speaker 1: go go achiever level in by me. You're now in 342 00:17:38,520 --> 00:17:42,360 Speaker 1: a flow state. You're in a creative state, and that 343 00:17:42,480 --> 00:17:46,560 Speaker 1: has where synchronicity shows up. It's where things just to 344 00:17:46,640 --> 00:17:49,520 Speaker 1: unfold far more effortlessly. You meet the right people, the 345 00:17:49,600 --> 00:17:53,040 Speaker 1: right things tend to fall into place. Now, the fourth 346 00:17:53,119 --> 00:17:54,520 Speaker 1: level at the top of the tree is not something 347 00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:57,040 Speaker 1: I'm qualified to talk about. We call that asthmi. That's 348 00:17:57,160 --> 00:18:01,320 Speaker 1: essentially non duality, oneness, where you recognize yourself in everybody else. 349 00:18:01,400 --> 00:18:04,960 Speaker 1: It's where the spiritual masters talk from. But again out 350 00:18:04,960 --> 00:18:10,800 Speaker 1: of my pay grade speciality. My market I've devoted my 351 00:18:10,840 --> 00:18:13,720 Speaker 1: life to is getting people from buy me to through me. 352 00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,520 Speaker 1: Why Because I know what it's like to work one 353 00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,880 Speaker 1: hundred and thirty three hours a week, drive home from 354 00:18:18,920 --> 00:18:20,520 Speaker 1: the office at two in the morning every night, and 355 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:22,840 Speaker 1: one night fall asleep and hit an intersection at sixty 356 00:18:22,880 --> 00:18:27,240 Speaker 1: miles an hour. I know that game and wondering what 357 00:18:27,280 --> 00:18:29,200 Speaker 1: the hell am I doing? Luckily I was twenty five 358 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:34,520 Speaker 1: when that happened, and it woke me up literally physically 359 00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,719 Speaker 1: and emotional, and I started to ask what is this about? 360 00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:40,640 Speaker 1: But if you want a path again, make it practical. 361 00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:41,680 Speaker 3: I don't. 362 00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: There's too much philosophy around. We need stuff. As Jodaspen says, 363 00:18:45,320 --> 00:18:48,119 Speaker 1: it's not enough to know these days now, you need 364 00:18:48,160 --> 00:18:52,920 Speaker 1: to know how. Yes, right? So from my side, how 365 00:18:52,920 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 1: do you get from victimhood to achiever? How do you 366 00:18:55,600 --> 00:18:58,520 Speaker 1: go from to me to buy me? What do you 367 00:18:58,560 --> 00:18:59,720 Speaker 1: got to give up? What do you got to replace 368 00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:02,240 Speaker 1: it with? Pretty simple? First thing you have to give 369 00:19:02,320 --> 00:19:06,760 Speaker 1: up is blame. Blame doesn't work in any theater of life. 370 00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:11,040 Speaker 1: What do you got to replace it with? Personal responsibility? 371 00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: If you give up blame and replace it with personal responsibility, 372 00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,119 Speaker 1: you can quickly move out of victim into the achiever 373 00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:17,760 Speaker 1: world and it's a far better place to be. 374 00:19:18,480 --> 00:19:22,760 Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm like in a workshop. I'm I'm in 375 00:19:22,760 --> 00:19:25,760 Speaker 2: a workshop. I'm taking notes like a fucking like a 376 00:19:25,880 --> 00:19:29,000 Speaker 2: UNI student over here. I forgot, I'm in a podcast. 377 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:30,400 Speaker 2: I'm just taking notes. 378 00:19:30,720 --> 00:19:32,440 Speaker 1: Every day in school day you said that great. 379 00:19:32,680 --> 00:19:35,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, this is great, dude, this is great, bro, keep going. 380 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:38,920 Speaker 2: I'm fucking I'm drinking coffee, I'm taking notes. I feel 381 00:19:38,960 --> 00:19:42,480 Speaker 2: like I'm in a tutorial. I forgot I'm hosting a podcast. 382 00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:45,880 Speaker 1: I just want to add value. So hopefully this will 383 00:19:45,920 --> 00:19:48,639 Speaker 1: be that inspire or give some framework the people to 384 00:19:48,640 --> 00:19:50,520 Speaker 1: be able to be useful for them. That's that's my intent. 385 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:51,919 Speaker 2: I'm loving it. 386 00:19:52,040 --> 00:19:55,359 Speaker 1: Yep, buy me to throw me that's the key area. 387 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:57,199 Speaker 1: So what do you got to let go of? And 388 00:19:57,240 --> 00:19:59,680 Speaker 1: some people aren't going to like hearing this. The first 389 00:19:59,680 --> 00:20:02,800 Speaker 1: thing you let go of and buy me if you 390 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:07,919 Speaker 1: want to progress is the need for control. Some people 391 00:20:07,920 --> 00:20:10,320 Speaker 1: don't like that. Now bear in mind, I didn't say control. 392 00:20:10,760 --> 00:20:13,639 Speaker 1: I said the need for control. Most people are so 393 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,800 Speaker 1: fearful behind the veil. They're so desperate to prove to 394 00:20:18,840 --> 00:20:20,919 Speaker 1: the world they're good enough to get their goals to finally, 395 00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,880 Speaker 1: you know, whatever it is, stop paying rent and buy 396 00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,040 Speaker 1: their home or you know, pay for their kids, edut, 397 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:27,320 Speaker 1: whatever it may be. They're so desperate for that. They 398 00:20:27,320 --> 00:20:31,200 Speaker 1: are trying to control things they can't control. Yeah, now 399 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:34,520 Speaker 1: they're trying to change reality by wrestling with it, and 400 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:36,600 Speaker 1: I've got news for you. I give that up a 401 00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 1: long time ago because the reality is reality. It keeps winning. 402 00:20:41,400 --> 00:20:44,240 Speaker 1: So giving up the need for control, what do you 403 00:20:44,240 --> 00:20:49,879 Speaker 1: replaced that with? Trust, faith, a sense of knowing, knowing what. 404 00:20:50,640 --> 00:20:54,080 Speaker 1: Let's come back to Einstein. He said, the most powerful 405 00:20:54,160 --> 00:20:56,320 Speaker 1: question you could ask a answer in your lifetime is this, 406 00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,879 Speaker 1: Do I live in a friendly or a hostile universe? 407 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:01,240 Speaker 2: Yeah? 408 00:21:01,720 --> 00:21:04,320 Speaker 1: Now, if I say I live in a hostile universe, 409 00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,240 Speaker 1: whereas that everything happens to me, or I'm in buy me, 410 00:21:07,320 --> 00:21:09,280 Speaker 1: I'm in survival. I'm trying to carve my way out 411 00:21:09,320 --> 00:21:11,880 Speaker 1: and everybody else is. I'm in competition, right, I'm trying 412 00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:15,600 Speaker 1: to fight everything else. Yeah, that's living in a hostile universe, 413 00:21:15,640 --> 00:21:18,439 Speaker 1: and it's bloody exhausting. If you choose to live in 414 00:21:18,480 --> 00:21:22,560 Speaker 1: a friendly universe, where life happens for you, not to you, 415 00:21:23,200 --> 00:21:25,439 Speaker 1: where things happen for three is that if this happened, 416 00:21:25,600 --> 00:21:28,840 Speaker 1: it'll be this or something better. I'm not attached to 417 00:21:28,880 --> 00:21:31,080 Speaker 1: the outcome. I'm just putting one foot in front of 418 00:21:31,119 --> 00:21:32,679 Speaker 1: the other with a smile, doing the best I can, 419 00:21:32,800 --> 00:21:34,960 Speaker 1: leading with my heart, knowing that I'll always be okay 420 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:38,280 Speaker 1: at some level, now if you can do that, because 421 00:21:38,280 --> 00:21:41,640 Speaker 1: what Einstein was actually saying was there is no friendly universe. 422 00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:44,680 Speaker 1: There is no hostile universe. What he was alluding to 423 00:21:44,800 --> 00:21:47,679 Speaker 1: was something more powerful, and that is it is a 424 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,960 Speaker 1: self reflective universe. See, universe doesn't care what you want, 425 00:21:52,200 --> 00:21:54,240 Speaker 1: doesn't care what you pray for, doesn't care what's on 426 00:21:54,280 --> 00:21:57,400 Speaker 1: your vision board. It cares about who are you showing 427 00:21:57,480 --> 00:22:01,919 Speaker 1: up as? Yeah, and if you can show up in 428 00:22:02,000 --> 00:22:06,080 Speaker 1: partnership with a friendly universe, the external world is a mirror. 429 00:22:06,240 --> 00:22:10,520 Speaker 1: It's going to reflect back evidence of your general attitude, 430 00:22:10,840 --> 00:22:12,760 Speaker 1: not your wishes hoax his eyes that your mind's trying 431 00:22:12,760 --> 00:22:15,040 Speaker 1: to cover up your insecurities with. But what are your 432 00:22:15,040 --> 00:22:17,760 Speaker 1: heart and mind actually aligned with that shows up as 433 00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,879 Speaker 1: you authentically. So that's really one of the secrets to 434 00:22:20,920 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: getting into through me is to start learning to trust. 435 00:22:22,840 --> 00:22:25,439 Speaker 1: And one of the best ways to do that stop 436 00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,800 Speaker 1: focusing so much on your damn self. Start looking about 437 00:22:29,840 --> 00:22:32,800 Speaker 1: what can I contribute Because the two biggest laws of 438 00:22:32,880 --> 00:22:35,160 Speaker 1: nature and I didn't make these up. Just look out 439 00:22:35,200 --> 00:22:41,880 Speaker 1: of your window, growth and contribution. If we need certainty, security, 440 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:49,040 Speaker 1: focused on survival, significance, ego, distraction, pleasure, all of that 441 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:52,920 Speaker 1: are needs of the personality, but growth and contribution and 442 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,560 Speaker 1: needs of the soul. Why do we need to grow 443 00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,080 Speaker 1: so that we can contribute? Why do you get into 444 00:22:58,119 --> 00:22:59,960 Speaker 1: personal growth if it's so you can get more stuff, 445 00:23:00,200 --> 00:23:02,399 Speaker 1: don't expect a lot of help from the universe. If 446 00:23:02,400 --> 00:23:04,280 Speaker 1: you're getting into personal growth so you can become more 447 00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,840 Speaker 1: of who you are, so you can find your gifts, 448 00:23:05,880 --> 00:23:08,720 Speaker 1: so you can give it away, expect things to line up. 449 00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:11,959 Speaker 1: So why do so many people, in answer to your 450 00:23:11,960 --> 00:23:15,879 Speaker 1: original question ten minutes ago, why do so many people 451 00:23:16,520 --> 00:23:21,880 Speaker 1: struggle to be externally validated Because they're trying to get 452 00:23:21,880 --> 00:23:23,840 Speaker 1: out of to me or they're trying to validate themselves 453 00:23:23,880 --> 00:23:27,160 Speaker 1: in buy me, and they've not managed to tune into 454 00:23:27,200 --> 00:23:29,160 Speaker 1: a higher part of who they really are that doesn't 455 00:23:29,240 --> 00:23:32,399 Speaker 1: need validation. Oh so you're not six foot three in 456 00:23:32,480 --> 00:23:35,920 Speaker 1: buff Who gives a crap. Whatever hand you got dealt 457 00:23:35,960 --> 00:23:41,400 Speaker 1: with is a hand of unique personal spiritual magnificence. When 458 00:23:41,400 --> 00:23:44,680 Speaker 1: you can look in the mirror and love your uniqueness, 459 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,920 Speaker 1: accept what you perceive to be flaws, what the media 460 00:23:47,000 --> 00:23:49,160 Speaker 1: is going to tell you is a flaw. In case 461 00:23:49,200 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 1: you buy their shit, then you can start letting go 462 00:23:53,520 --> 00:23:56,639 Speaker 1: of being an unpaid filmmxs during some big budget, commercial 463 00:23:56,840 --> 00:24:00,760 Speaker 1: driven disaster movie and start starring as your own self. 464 00:24:01,280 --> 00:24:03,199 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you this right off the front. I've 465 00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:06,920 Speaker 1: seen it too many times, Craig, that the people who 466 00:24:07,160 --> 00:24:09,960 Speaker 1: love who they are in the mirror, that are sure 467 00:24:10,400 --> 00:24:13,399 Speaker 1: that have been given a body structure that wouldn't appear 468 00:24:13,440 --> 00:24:16,760 Speaker 1: on the front cover of a magazine, but have that spark, 469 00:24:16,840 --> 00:24:20,840 Speaker 1: that inner ever vescence. They are more attractive to more 470 00:24:20,880 --> 00:24:24,400 Speaker 1: people than somebody that's just saved up for their cosmetic surgeries, 471 00:24:24,440 --> 00:24:29,720 Speaker 1: starve themselves to wafness all right, walking around with fake hair, 472 00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:33,239 Speaker 1: fake nails, fake lashes, fake tan. Right, So, and then 473 00:24:33,320 --> 00:24:36,560 Speaker 1: wonder why they can't get an authentic partner. Yeah right, 474 00:24:36,880 --> 00:24:39,439 Speaker 1: Not because they're bad people, because they were sold a 475 00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,359 Speaker 1: lie that you're not good enough the way you are, 476 00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:44,359 Speaker 1: And I'm here to tell you are. When you believe 477 00:24:44,400 --> 00:24:46,399 Speaker 1: that as much as you and I believe in them, 478 00:24:46,800 --> 00:24:49,159 Speaker 1: they will make that first step out of that I 479 00:24:49,240 --> 00:24:52,560 Speaker 1: need to buy this, get that own this. Right. They're 480 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:54,040 Speaker 1: not going to give a crap about how many likes 481 00:24:54,040 --> 00:24:56,200 Speaker 1: they get on anti social media, which is pretty much 482 00:24:56,240 --> 00:24:58,280 Speaker 1: what it's become. They're going to start living for who 483 00:24:58,320 --> 00:25:00,399 Speaker 1: they are and asking better questions. 484 00:25:00,800 --> 00:25:06,360 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I love it all right. So I don't 485 00:25:06,359 --> 00:25:09,719 Speaker 2: want to open my door on my shit because everyone 486 00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:12,840 Speaker 2: knows all my stuff. But I've probably in my life 487 00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:16,600 Speaker 2: had what I would call but one of a better term, 488 00:25:17,280 --> 00:25:20,879 Speaker 2: three or four or five epiphanies where it's like fucking 489 00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 2: a light went on, like it's like a curtain pulled back, 490 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,280 Speaker 2: and I went, ah, like I'm the problem, or ah, 491 00:25:28,520 --> 00:25:31,440 Speaker 2: that's how that works, and I could. I won't bore 492 00:25:31,480 --> 00:25:34,480 Speaker 2: you because it ain't about me. But have you did 493 00:25:34,520 --> 00:25:39,000 Speaker 2: you as a young person, did you have an epiphany? 494 00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,200 Speaker 2: Have you had an art I'm sure you've had a bunch, 495 00:25:41,280 --> 00:25:44,320 Speaker 2: but tell us about one or two where it's like, 496 00:25:44,440 --> 00:25:46,760 Speaker 2: all of a sudden a light came on and you 497 00:25:46,880 --> 00:25:52,400 Speaker 2: recognized or realized something that was life changing. 498 00:25:55,119 --> 00:25:57,080 Speaker 1: Many moments, but I'll share one. 499 00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:58,760 Speaker 3: Yeah. 500 00:25:58,880 --> 00:26:01,439 Speaker 1: I was at an avent for fifteen years. I was 501 00:26:01,440 --> 00:26:04,240 Speaker 1: an experienced trainer with Tony Robbins. So I travel around 502 00:26:04,240 --> 00:26:07,879 Speaker 1: the world with Tony doing events and helping people and 503 00:26:07,960 --> 00:26:10,720 Speaker 1: interventions and that kind of stuff. But at one time, 504 00:26:10,760 --> 00:26:13,560 Speaker 1: I was always trying to make trainer. Before you become 505 00:26:13,560 --> 00:26:15,760 Speaker 1: a trainer, you're kind of on the leadership team kind 506 00:26:15,800 --> 00:26:18,359 Speaker 1: of an apprentice. My goal was to try to be 507 00:26:18,400 --> 00:26:20,560 Speaker 1: a trainer, which by definition means you never will be 508 00:26:20,560 --> 00:26:24,520 Speaker 1: because you haven't already owned the identity of a trainer. Right. Yeah. 509 00:26:24,560 --> 00:26:26,360 Speaker 1: So I want to be an entrepreneur means you never 510 00:26:26,400 --> 00:26:29,080 Speaker 1: will be right because you're always trying to be something, 511 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,360 Speaker 1: which means you can never step in. I am an entrepreneur. 512 00:26:31,359 --> 00:26:33,360 Speaker 1: It means I'm now going to start looking for opportunities. 513 00:26:34,200 --> 00:26:35,720 Speaker 1: I want to be an entrepreneur means I need a 514 00:26:35,760 --> 00:26:39,000 Speaker 1: business to validate myself anyway, So it was a side 515 00:26:39,200 --> 00:26:44,520 Speaker 1: but I had this epiphany that absolutely shook me to 516 00:26:44,560 --> 00:26:50,679 Speaker 1: my core because it was when I realized that every 517 00:26:50,760 --> 00:26:54,480 Speaker 1: time I thought about something in my past, a scenario, 518 00:26:54,640 --> 00:27:01,920 Speaker 1: a scene, any memory, I always saw myself in the scene. 519 00:27:04,560 --> 00:27:07,240 Speaker 1: Now that clearly isn't a memory because I wasn't outside 520 00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:10,919 Speaker 1: of myself capturing that memory. It was a construct. Wow, 521 00:27:12,200 --> 00:27:16,920 Speaker 1: which meant that even subconsciously, I was always looking through 522 00:27:16,920 --> 00:27:21,560 Speaker 1: the lens of how do people see me? Yeah, to 523 00:27:21,560 --> 00:27:23,719 Speaker 1: the point where I didn't even own my own memories anymore. 524 00:27:23,760 --> 00:27:24,480 Speaker 1: I made them up. 525 00:27:25,400 --> 00:27:26,880 Speaker 2: Wow. 526 00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,200 Speaker 1: Wow. I was never fully associated. I never remembered something 527 00:27:29,240 --> 00:27:31,040 Speaker 1: through my own eyes. I always remembered it as a 528 00:27:31,080 --> 00:27:35,119 Speaker 1: scene with me in it, and that was like, what 529 00:27:35,200 --> 00:27:38,080 Speaker 1: the hell has my life become trying to chase what 530 00:27:38,160 --> 00:27:45,199 Speaker 1: I call goop? Goop the good opinion of other people. Wow, 531 00:27:45,960 --> 00:27:50,040 Speaker 1: And if you spend your life swimming in this sticky, nasty, smelly, 532 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:53,879 Speaker 1: potential sucking substance called goop, you are never going to 533 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:57,320 Speaker 1: do anything other than play I'm a victim or I've 534 00:27:57,320 --> 00:27:59,080 Speaker 1: got to try harder to try to get more of 535 00:27:59,080 --> 00:28:02,840 Speaker 1: the same fee. Yeah. Yeah, And that was a big 536 00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,440 Speaker 1: ones like whoa what? Why am I so obsessed? Why 537 00:28:05,440 --> 00:28:09,960 Speaker 1: have I consciously unconsciously created my entire life through What 538 00:28:10,040 --> 00:28:12,359 Speaker 1: do I think other people think of me? As I 539 00:28:12,359 --> 00:28:16,159 Speaker 1: said earlier, Yeah, the reality is this. In fact, I'm 540 00:28:16,160 --> 00:28:17,440 Speaker 1: gonna I'm gonna give you a metaphor here that I 541 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:18,720 Speaker 1: think is going to help a lot of people who 542 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 1: if they resonate with suffering from goop at some degree. Yes, 543 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:26,280 Speaker 1: we all star in a movie I've alluded to that right, 544 00:28:26,640 --> 00:28:30,120 Speaker 1: called the Movie of our Life. Now I know, Craig, 545 00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:31,800 Speaker 1: that you star in the movie of your life. How 546 00:28:31,800 --> 00:28:34,120 Speaker 1: do I know that? Because you're the only one that's 547 00:28:34,119 --> 00:28:37,720 Speaker 1: in every single scene of your movie yeah, right, So 548 00:28:37,840 --> 00:28:40,880 Speaker 1: you're the star. There's no co stars. There are two 549 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:45,480 Speaker 1: other types of people in your movie. At best. There 550 00:28:45,480 --> 00:28:51,760 Speaker 1: may be a supporting cast, sibling, spouse, best friend, partner, whatever. Yep, 551 00:28:52,880 --> 00:28:56,280 Speaker 1: But the vast majority, ninety nine percent plus of people 552 00:28:56,280 --> 00:28:59,120 Speaker 1: in your movie are nothing more than film extras in 553 00:28:59,160 --> 00:29:02,880 Speaker 1: your movie. Now, that's not being disparaging. There's a clarification there. 554 00:29:02,960 --> 00:29:06,160 Speaker 1: What do I mean by filmmaker? Pretty easy? People you're 555 00:29:06,200 --> 00:29:08,440 Speaker 1: no longer thinking about, when they're no longer in your 556 00:29:08,480 --> 00:29:13,880 Speaker 1: current scene. You're right with me. Yeah. So here's the thing. 557 00:29:14,120 --> 00:29:16,560 Speaker 1: Because we walk around as the star of our movie, 558 00:29:18,320 --> 00:29:21,480 Speaker 1: we think everybody else sees us as the star of 559 00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:25,720 Speaker 1: our movie. Yeah, but of course they don't because they're 560 00:29:25,720 --> 00:29:27,680 Speaker 1: not starring in our movie. Whose movie are they starring in? 561 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're right, yea. 562 00:29:30,560 --> 00:29:33,720 Speaker 1: Our own, which means, by definition, we play one of 563 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,600 Speaker 1: two roles in everyone else's movie at best. For a 564 00:29:36,600 --> 00:29:38,840 Speaker 1: handful of people on what you could count on one hand, 565 00:29:39,240 --> 00:29:43,040 Speaker 1: we are a supporting cast. But the vast majority of 566 00:29:43,080 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 1: people in our movie, Craig, specifically, the ones that most 567 00:29:46,320 --> 00:29:49,120 Speaker 1: people invest their energy trying to impress, trying to get 568 00:29:49,160 --> 00:29:51,840 Speaker 1: approval from, trying to be getting a good opinion from 569 00:29:52,200 --> 00:29:55,320 Speaker 1: are nothing more than you know, film mixtures in our movie, 570 00:29:55,360 --> 00:29:57,600 Speaker 1: and we are film extuers in their movie. What does 571 00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,400 Speaker 1: that actually mean? You want to tattoo this on inside 572 00:30:00,400 --> 00:30:04,400 Speaker 1: of your eyelids. Most people don't care enough about you 573 00:30:04,480 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: to bother to give an opinion. Why because they're too 574 00:30:07,440 --> 00:30:11,480 Speaker 1: busy being worried about what they think you're thinking of them. 575 00:30:12,120 --> 00:30:12,360 Speaker 2: Wow. 576 00:30:12,880 --> 00:30:16,560 Speaker 1: Wow, everybody's walking around in their own bubble of self 577 00:30:16,600 --> 00:30:18,840 Speaker 1: importance thinking I wonder what they're thinking of me in 578 00:30:18,880 --> 00:30:21,240 Speaker 1: my bubble of self importance. When they're not because they're thinking, 579 00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: I wonder what they're thinking of me in my bubble 580 00:30:23,160 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 1: of self importance. And when you burst that bubble, you 581 00:30:25,680 --> 00:30:28,320 Speaker 1: can step into your power. Yeah. 582 00:30:28,400 --> 00:30:33,880 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm going to tell you something funny. So I 583 00:30:33,920 --> 00:30:36,520 Speaker 2: love this and I don't disagree with anything you're saying. 584 00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:42,600 Speaker 2: So my PhD is in goop, like my literal research. 585 00:30:42,680 --> 00:30:46,440 Speaker 2: My literal research is in a thing called metaperception and 586 00:30:46,480 --> 00:30:50,560 Speaker 2: meta accuracy. But let me draw the draw the line 587 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:54,080 Speaker 2: in the sand. So what you're speaking about, I think, 588 00:30:55,240 --> 00:30:58,400 Speaker 2: is the not very healthy habit of worrying, worrying about 589 00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,520 Speaker 2: what people think of us, whether or not they like 590 00:31:00,600 --> 00:31:03,120 Speaker 2: us all that stuff right, and then trying to keep 591 00:31:03,160 --> 00:31:07,320 Speaker 2: them happy. And my PhD is in a thing called, 592 00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:11,680 Speaker 2: like I said, metaperception, which is having an awareness of 593 00:31:11,760 --> 00:31:15,520 Speaker 2: how you are perceived and processed and experienced by other people, 594 00:31:16,240 --> 00:31:20,680 Speaker 2: so that like, for example, it's important that I try 595 00:31:20,720 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 2: to understand the reality, the personal reality and thinking and 596 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:28,760 Speaker 2: mindset of Peter Sage, so I can have a good 597 00:31:28,840 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 2: chat with you. We call that theory of mind. Is 598 00:31:31,480 --> 00:31:34,360 Speaker 2: my ability to understand how you think. You and I 599 00:31:34,400 --> 00:31:36,479 Speaker 2: are in the same conversation right now, but you and 600 00:31:36,520 --> 00:31:39,280 Speaker 2: I are not in the same experience. So it's in 601 00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 2: my interest to try to understand your version of reality 602 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:46,720 Speaker 2: right now, not agree, not disagree, not fucking value it, 603 00:31:47,240 --> 00:31:51,280 Speaker 2: just go ah. And then, even more importantly me as 604 00:31:51,320 --> 00:31:55,160 Speaker 2: a professional presenter speaker all that bullshit, just like you, 605 00:31:56,080 --> 00:31:59,480 Speaker 2: it's in my interest to know what the Craig experience 606 00:31:59,560 --> 00:32:03,280 Speaker 2: is like my audience. Now, if I think I'm fucking 607 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:07,640 Speaker 2: riveting and fascinating and engaging and they think I'm fucking 608 00:32:07,760 --> 00:32:11,840 Speaker 2: mindlessly boring, and I don't know, I'm in trouble, right, 609 00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:17,640 Speaker 2: So that's the differentiation. But you are exactly on the 610 00:32:17,760 --> 00:32:22,760 Speaker 2: money like that. The whole the goop acronym. I love it, 611 00:32:23,200 --> 00:32:25,280 Speaker 2: But it is so funny. As you're talking about that, 612 00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:29,240 Speaker 2: I could hear some of my listeners going, hey, that's 613 00:32:29,280 --> 00:32:32,720 Speaker 2: not what you say, but it is what I say, 614 00:32:32,720 --> 00:32:35,880 Speaker 2: because we're talking about different things. But that is a 615 00:32:36,400 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 2: that is a really interesting kind of and it's funny 616 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:44,960 Speaker 2: that you have just explained in very relatable, easy to 617 00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:51,800 Speaker 2: understand terms, something that a lot of people with respect 618 00:32:51,920 --> 00:32:55,080 Speaker 2: who have spent decades studying the fucking human brain and 619 00:32:55,120 --> 00:33:00,280 Speaker 2: mind and social psychology and behavioral psychology can't really articulate that. Well, 620 00:33:00,440 --> 00:33:03,160 Speaker 2: So well done. I love it. 621 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,080 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you, No, I appreciate that. And you know, 622 00:33:07,520 --> 00:33:09,200 Speaker 1: people say, well, where do you go from that? Because 623 00:33:09,360 --> 00:33:13,320 Speaker 1: the revelation itself awareness is the first step right to 624 00:33:13,640 --> 00:33:17,240 Speaker 1: break in those changes. But I say to people, so 625 00:33:17,320 --> 00:33:21,960 Speaker 1: many people are running around seeking that validation, that external ballet, 626 00:33:22,000 --> 00:33:23,920 Speaker 1: like a begging ball, hoping to get some love points 627 00:33:24,000 --> 00:33:26,520 Speaker 1: dropped in it, some validation points dropped in it, some 628 00:33:26,600 --> 00:33:29,080 Speaker 1: approval points dropped in it. Right, And of course it's 629 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:32,080 Speaker 1: like food, right, once you have some, you're full for 630 00:33:32,120 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 1: a while, but soon after you're going to get hungry. 631 00:33:34,120 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 1: Because it's never a long term solution. It's like motivation. 632 00:33:37,560 --> 00:33:40,400 Speaker 1: You always need motivation. Inspiration is the nuclear fusion of 633 00:33:40,400 --> 00:33:42,760 Speaker 1: the human soul. You don't need motivating if you're inspired. 634 00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,959 Speaker 1: It's two different fuel sources. So how do you how 635 00:33:45,960 --> 00:33:49,520 Speaker 1: do you get out of that external requirement for constantly 636 00:33:49,600 --> 00:33:53,280 Speaker 1: needing valet It's because no amount of compliments, no amount 637 00:33:53,320 --> 00:33:55,760 Speaker 1: of tends on a feedback form from the audience, no 638 00:33:55,840 --> 00:33:58,320 Speaker 1: amount of pat on the back is going to last 639 00:33:58,360 --> 00:34:00,960 Speaker 1: long term. If the pattern that you're looking to try 640 00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:09,800 Speaker 1: to complete is based upon internal insecurities, using external validation 641 00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:13,040 Speaker 1: to solve it, it's just never gonna happen. Right again, 642 00:34:13,080 --> 00:34:17,160 Speaker 1: running east looking for a sunset? So yeah, how do 643 00:34:17,200 --> 00:34:19,880 Speaker 1: you look at you recognize most people out there in 644 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 1: the world are holding that begging ball to some degree. 645 00:34:23,719 --> 00:34:29,200 Speaker 1: So how do you get out of that trap? Pretty simple? 646 00:34:30,080 --> 00:34:32,800 Speaker 1: You shift the focus one hundred and eighty degrees. Instead 647 00:34:32,800 --> 00:34:36,879 Speaker 1: of saying how can I get significance, You're start saying 648 00:34:36,920 --> 00:34:40,719 Speaker 1: how can I raise the significance of others? Not from 649 00:34:40,719 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 1: a horse trade level of transaction, hoping, Oh, if I 650 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 1: give you some feedback, and then I'm fishing for compliments 651 00:34:46,400 --> 00:34:48,600 Speaker 1: to get some for myself. That's bullshit. That doesn't work. 652 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,520 Speaker 1: Universe doesn't hear that. But how can I shift my focus? 653 00:34:51,640 --> 00:34:54,080 Speaker 1: You look at people like Gandhi, like Mother Teresa, like 654 00:34:54,200 --> 00:34:56,560 Speaker 1: Nelson Mandela. Yeah, I've got them on the wall behind me. 655 00:34:57,400 --> 00:35:00,480 Speaker 1: What was their energy when they walked into room. They 656 00:35:00,480 --> 00:35:03,319 Speaker 1: didn't say look at me, they didn't say please notice me. 657 00:35:03,840 --> 00:35:06,920 Speaker 1: They looked at people, and they made those other people 658 00:35:07,080 --> 00:35:09,640 Speaker 1: feel like the star of their own movie. And if 659 00:35:09,640 --> 00:35:12,239 Speaker 1: you do that, I got news for you. They're gonna 660 00:35:12,280 --> 00:35:14,560 Speaker 1: light you up like the star of yours. You don't 661 00:35:14,600 --> 00:35:19,080 Speaker 1: need to seek validation, you get it by osmosis. Yeah, 662 00:35:19,120 --> 00:35:21,400 Speaker 1: and I can give you another example. As a speaker 663 00:35:22,200 --> 00:35:24,840 Speaker 1: in my early days, that's what I needed. I needed validation. 664 00:35:25,360 --> 00:35:28,839 Speaker 1: Yeah right. I was looking at the feedback forms and thinking, well, 665 00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,680 Speaker 1: you know, you could get nine tens and then one 666 00:35:31,719 --> 00:35:34,000 Speaker 1: person give you a two with some nasty comments and 667 00:35:34,040 --> 00:35:35,080 Speaker 1: it put you off for the day. 668 00:35:35,200 --> 00:35:35,359 Speaker 3: Right. 669 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:39,319 Speaker 1: And my intention going on stage was how can I 670 00:35:39,360 --> 00:35:41,799 Speaker 1: get a good score? Because I thought that's how I 671 00:35:41,920 --> 00:35:44,920 Speaker 1: validated myself and so many people out there. How can 672 00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,600 Speaker 1: I get a good score? How can I get more friends? 673 00:35:47,600 --> 00:35:49,279 Speaker 1: How can I get more likes on my post? When 674 00:35:49,280 --> 00:35:51,920 Speaker 1: I show people my feet or my breakfast or some bullshit? Right, 675 00:35:52,160 --> 00:35:53,200 Speaker 1: how can I you know. 676 00:35:53,600 --> 00:35:56,160 Speaker 2: Please don't showish your fucking fate, please. 677 00:35:56,600 --> 00:36:00,040 Speaker 1: You know what I mean? Right? Weird? How can I 678 00:36:00,280 --> 00:36:04,000 Speaker 1: please mum and dad by getting the right career whatever? 679 00:36:04,120 --> 00:36:10,359 Speaker 1: You pick a fricking man. So instead of doing that, 680 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:15,240 Speaker 1: instead of playing the game of how can I get validation, 681 00:36:16,320 --> 00:36:20,440 Speaker 1: you turn around say how can I validate others? How 682 00:36:20,480 --> 00:36:22,160 Speaker 1: can I make people? How can I put a smile 683 00:36:22,200 --> 00:36:24,160 Speaker 1: on somebody? So? How can I make people feel more 684 00:36:24,200 --> 00:36:26,279 Speaker 1: than rather than less than? Because they cross my path? 685 00:36:27,600 --> 00:36:29,680 Speaker 1: And if you switch your focus there and just play 686 00:36:29,719 --> 00:36:32,920 Speaker 1: the game of raising the significance of others, not to 687 00:36:32,960 --> 00:36:36,400 Speaker 1: score points, but because it feels good, you will start 688 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:39,320 Speaker 1: letting go of your own insecurities. You won't need validation 689 00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:42,040 Speaker 1: and low and behold. People will actually start treating you 690 00:36:43,000 --> 00:36:47,520 Speaker 1: as some sort of person that validates your own internal 691 00:36:47,560 --> 00:36:50,960 Speaker 1: insecurities as no longer being there. Why because you now 692 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,400 Speaker 1: have something that they want, So rather than going hunting 693 00:36:54,440 --> 00:36:57,560 Speaker 1: for significance, you get it by osmosis. So when I 694 00:36:57,600 --> 00:37:01,160 Speaker 1: made the switch, I got on stage and this was 695 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:04,520 Speaker 1: like magic. Instead of caring about what was on the 696 00:37:04,560 --> 00:37:07,839 Speaker 1: feedback form, my intention was, I don't care if these 697 00:37:07,840 --> 00:37:10,120 Speaker 1: people know my name. I don't care if they'd like me. 698 00:37:10,280 --> 00:37:12,520 Speaker 1: I'm here to add value. I'm here to serve. And 699 00:37:12,560 --> 00:37:14,120 Speaker 1: if that means some of them need to hear something 700 00:37:14,120 --> 00:37:16,280 Speaker 1: they don't like because it brushes up against their ego, 701 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:18,960 Speaker 1: but it's what they need to hear from my perspective 702 00:37:19,000 --> 00:37:20,879 Speaker 1: of adding value. And I think it's true in my heart, 703 00:37:21,239 --> 00:37:23,560 Speaker 1: I would fucking say it. Yeah, all right. And if 704 00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,080 Speaker 1: that means some people give me a one, it's they're 705 00:37:26,120 --> 00:37:30,359 Speaker 1: on their journey. Yeah right. And I learned a powerful lesson. 706 00:37:30,400 --> 00:37:32,200 Speaker 1: And there's a speaker I'll share this with you, Craig 707 00:37:32,280 --> 00:37:35,040 Speaker 1: and any other speaker's listening. It's from a guy called 708 00:37:35,040 --> 00:37:37,279 Speaker 1: Doug Stephenson who I learned this from twenty years ago 709 00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:41,400 Speaker 1: when I lived in Canada, in Vancouver, Beautiful Soul. And 710 00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:44,040 Speaker 1: he told me what I call the rule of fifty. 711 00:37:44,120 --> 00:37:46,520 Speaker 1: And he says, people usually have to hear something at 712 00:37:46,520 --> 00:37:51,320 Speaker 1: epiphany level that has the epiphany potential fifty times before 713 00:37:51,480 --> 00:37:54,680 Speaker 1: it hits fifty times before it's sink, right, he says, 714 00:37:54,920 --> 00:37:58,799 Speaker 1: So when I go on stage, he said, everybody is 715 00:37:58,840 --> 00:38:01,680 Speaker 1: at a certain number. Some are at six, some are 716 00:38:01,719 --> 00:38:03,880 Speaker 1: at thirty, some are at twenty seven, some are at 717 00:38:03,880 --> 00:38:06,680 Speaker 1: forty three. My job is to go out and move 718 00:38:06,719 --> 00:38:12,320 Speaker 1: everybody up one, it says, And some are going to 719 00:38:12,360 --> 00:38:15,160 Speaker 1: say I don't mean anything. Why because you move them 720 00:38:15,200 --> 00:38:18,320 Speaker 1: from six to seven. But some few people in that 721 00:38:18,400 --> 00:38:21,280 Speaker 1: audience are at forty nine and you get to touch 722 00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:23,840 Speaker 1: them in that level of epiphany. Not because you're smart, 723 00:38:23,840 --> 00:38:25,640 Speaker 1: because you're great, or it's got anything to do with you, 724 00:38:25,960 --> 00:38:28,880 Speaker 1: but because you were blessed enough to ride on the 725 00:38:28,880 --> 00:38:32,080 Speaker 1: shoulders of the forty nine people that went before you. Yeah, 726 00:38:33,080 --> 00:38:36,319 Speaker 1: and when you hold that as an intention, you go out, 727 00:38:36,600 --> 00:38:38,760 Speaker 1: tell me where goop exists in that Tell me where 728 00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,200 Speaker 1: I need to validate myself off a feedback form for 729 00:38:41,239 --> 00:38:43,520 Speaker 1: their No, you're doing God's work at a level where 730 00:38:43,680 --> 00:38:46,360 Speaker 1: your job is to raise everybody by one, and hopefully 731 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:50,480 Speaker 1: so some seeds that a generation downstream, somebody else gets 732 00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,319 Speaker 1: to go on stage and touch somebody's life because you 733 00:38:52,360 --> 00:38:53,960 Speaker 1: move them from six to seven and they're now at 734 00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:55,480 Speaker 1: forty nine and they get to hit the fifty. 735 00:38:56,040 --> 00:38:58,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that. I want to tell you a 736 00:38:58,400 --> 00:39:01,839 Speaker 2: quick story and then if you've had a similar experience, 737 00:39:01,880 --> 00:39:06,719 Speaker 2: So one of my mates probably maybe nearly twenty years ago, 738 00:39:06,840 --> 00:39:11,320 Speaker 2: Peter was raving about we used to train together, and 739 00:39:11,360 --> 00:39:14,040 Speaker 2: he was raving about this book called The Power of 740 00:39:14,080 --> 00:39:16,360 Speaker 2: Now in this bloke called air Cart totally right, and 741 00:39:16,360 --> 00:39:19,760 Speaker 2: I'm like, fuck, eh Cart, totally fuck the Power Now. 742 00:39:20,160 --> 00:39:22,040 Speaker 2: And he's like, you've got to read Yeah, You've got 743 00:39:22,080 --> 00:39:24,680 Speaker 2: to read this book. I'm like, yeah, I got like 744 00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:27,200 Speaker 2: I had a shit attitude, by the way. By the way, 745 00:39:27,200 --> 00:39:30,360 Speaker 2: I went to see Tony Robbins to shit Attitude and 746 00:39:30,880 --> 00:39:33,840 Speaker 2: I loved him. Right, So I get The Power of 747 00:39:33,960 --> 00:39:37,319 Speaker 2: Now and I read it. I read about but grudgingly 748 00:39:37,520 --> 00:39:41,600 Speaker 2: with the worst attitude in the world. I read twenty 749 00:39:41,680 --> 00:39:45,399 Speaker 2: pages and I'm like, my thoughts are I'm going to say, 750 00:39:45,400 --> 00:39:49,440 Speaker 2: my thoughts are maybe ten right, my thoughts are confirmed. 751 00:39:49,440 --> 00:39:55,120 Speaker 2: This is shit. This is shit. Anyway about oh, probably 752 00:39:55,160 --> 00:40:00,319 Speaker 2: a decade later, so maybe ten years ago, I just 753 00:40:00,840 --> 00:40:02,400 Speaker 2: I don't know, I was cleaning up some shit or 754 00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,080 Speaker 2: something and I went, oh, this is that book that 755 00:40:04,280 --> 00:40:07,720 Speaker 2: Matt gave me that. I'm like, maybe it was fifteen 756 00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,279 Speaker 2: maybe it was five years later, So fifteen years ago, 757 00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,240 Speaker 2: because I feel like I've been a bit more enlightened 758 00:40:12,280 --> 00:40:15,319 Speaker 2: for longer. But anyway, I read it, and obviously I'm like, oh, 759 00:40:15,360 --> 00:40:17,759 Speaker 2: this is fucking this is genius. How long has this 760 00:40:17,840 --> 00:40:20,000 Speaker 2: been going on? Houses? What do you mean I'm the 761 00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:22,440 Speaker 2: observer of my thoughts? What do you mean I'm the 762 00:40:22,560 --> 00:40:24,560 Speaker 2: you know, the conduit to that that is, you know, 763 00:40:24,600 --> 00:40:27,880 Speaker 2: And I'm like, oh my god. But it's so funny that, 764 00:40:28,000 --> 00:40:30,680 Speaker 2: you know, when the student's already kind of vibe and 765 00:40:31,239 --> 00:40:34,480 Speaker 2: I read the exact same thing, and it was like 766 00:40:34,680 --> 00:40:38,040 Speaker 2: I'd never seen it before. It was like somebody pulled 767 00:40:38,080 --> 00:40:43,960 Speaker 2: back a curtain on this fucking magical gift. But I'd 768 00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,280 Speaker 2: seen the same thing, and I thought, oh, it's funny 769 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:49,880 Speaker 2: how much that's changed over the years, you know. And 770 00:40:49,960 --> 00:40:53,520 Speaker 2: obviously nothing had changed except me. But have you ever 771 00:40:53,560 --> 00:40:57,400 Speaker 2: had an experience like that where where all of a sudden, 772 00:40:57,520 --> 00:41:00,400 Speaker 2: something that you didn't get you is prof found. 773 00:41:01,680 --> 00:41:04,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, one specific book, but I'll give you a metaphor 774 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:08,760 Speaker 1: to try to encapsulate it with as well. Yeah. See, 775 00:41:08,960 --> 00:41:11,839 Speaker 1: I mentioned earlier that biological maturity isn't the choice, it's 776 00:41:11,880 --> 00:41:14,759 Speaker 1: part of the rule set, but emotional maturity is. And 777 00:41:14,920 --> 00:41:18,640 Speaker 1: we're all progressing at different levels of emotional maturity. There's 778 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:21,799 Speaker 1: a lot of pretty old I can I say, oh, 779 00:41:22,040 --> 00:41:25,239 Speaker 1: let's say old bodies running around as emotional teenagers. I 780 00:41:25,239 --> 00:41:27,200 Speaker 1: think we've met some of those and been them at 781 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:31,960 Speaker 1: some point. But imagine that the levels of consciousness are 782 00:41:32,040 --> 00:41:34,960 Speaker 1: kind of like a mountain. The top of the mountain, 783 00:41:34,960 --> 00:41:37,319 Speaker 1: you've got your enlightenment. Yah, bottom of the mound, you've 784 00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:41,760 Speaker 1: got your victimhood. And if you're halfway up the mountain 785 00:41:41,960 --> 00:41:44,919 Speaker 1: and you turn around to somebody and say, wow, look 786 00:41:44,960 --> 00:41:47,759 Speaker 1: at the sunset and they're at the bottom of that, 787 00:41:47,920 --> 00:41:49,279 Speaker 1: or they're in a valley and all they can see 788 00:41:49,320 --> 00:41:52,560 Speaker 1: is trees, they're going to think you're follow shit. There 789 00:41:52,600 --> 00:41:55,600 Speaker 1: is no sunset, you idiot. I can't see it because 790 00:41:55,640 --> 00:41:57,680 Speaker 1: therefore it doesn't exist in my world. You say no, 791 00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,719 Speaker 1: but you don't get it. There's the sun. Come have 792 00:41:59,760 --> 00:42:02,319 Speaker 1: a lot. Now, I don't get it. What is this 793 00:42:02,440 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: pain body thing? Right? What is this like? You know, 794 00:42:05,360 --> 00:42:07,640 Speaker 1: being this? What is this sense of rigging? Observe? I 795 00:42:07,640 --> 00:42:10,080 Speaker 1: am the witness to my own Yeah whatever, I'm busy 796 00:42:10,080 --> 00:42:16,680 Speaker 1: being busy, right, And only when somebody is at the 797 00:42:16,760 --> 00:42:20,360 Speaker 1: level of the mountain that they are open enough to 798 00:42:20,480 --> 00:42:23,000 Speaker 1: receive the view from where they're at. There's nothing wrong 799 00:42:23,040 --> 00:42:26,160 Speaker 1: with people in the valley struggling, say, what's all this 800 00:42:26,200 --> 00:42:30,080 Speaker 1: personal growth bullshit? It's you can only be open to 801 00:42:30,320 --> 00:42:32,640 Speaker 1: receive the information based upon the level of the mountain 802 00:42:32,640 --> 00:42:35,920 Speaker 1: you're at. It's it's it's it's obvious. Yeah, and when 803 00:42:36,600 --> 00:42:40,080 Speaker 1: if you go back to the biblical teachings, if Jesus 804 00:42:40,320 --> 00:42:43,440 Speaker 1: is teaching something from his level of consciousness, it can 805 00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:47,279 Speaker 1: only be interpreted from lower levels of consciousness. If he 806 00:42:47,320 --> 00:42:50,399 Speaker 1: says turn the other cheek. If you're in victim, you're 807 00:42:50,400 --> 00:42:53,360 Speaker 1: going to see that as being able to be dominated. 808 00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:58,400 Speaker 1: If you're in warrior mode or achiever mode, you're going 809 00:42:58,440 --> 00:43:00,520 Speaker 1: to see that as acquiescing to the enemy and you're 810 00:43:00,520 --> 00:43:04,200 Speaker 1: going to resist. If you're enlightened, you're going to see 811 00:43:04,200 --> 00:43:06,040 Speaker 1: that as a strength beyond a strength because you can't 812 00:43:06,080 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 1: be pushed, pauled, controlled, cajoled by external forces. It doesn't 813 00:43:10,239 --> 00:43:12,120 Speaker 1: affect you. Turn the other cheek. Is that all you got? 814 00:43:12,120 --> 00:43:16,280 Speaker 1: It's like, I'm not playing the game, I'm not engaging 815 00:43:16,280 --> 00:43:18,880 Speaker 1: in the battle with you, right, So yeah, there is that. 816 00:43:18,920 --> 00:43:20,680 Speaker 1: And it happened to me with one book which has 817 00:43:21,000 --> 00:43:24,680 Speaker 1: probably been more responsible for changing my life, similar to 818 00:43:24,760 --> 00:43:28,319 Speaker 1: Power of you know now, impact your Jaws and that 819 00:43:28,400 --> 00:43:32,319 Speaker 1: is Power Versus Forced by David Hawkins. And I had 820 00:43:32,880 --> 00:43:36,960 Speaker 1: an amazing friend gentleman called David Becker, not David Beckham, 821 00:43:37,160 --> 00:43:37,960 Speaker 1: but David Becker. 822 00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 2: And who's just who's the author again? 823 00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 1: Mite? Sorry, David Hawkins, the late greats Okay, Power Versus Force. 824 00:43:46,760 --> 00:43:49,680 Speaker 1: I read that book because David gave it to me. 825 00:43:49,800 --> 00:43:52,719 Speaker 1: David is an amazing, beautiful, enlightened soul. He inspired me 826 00:43:52,800 --> 00:43:55,480 Speaker 1: to run the marathon they sab twenty years ago. It's 827 00:43:55,560 --> 00:44:00,120 Speaker 1: just a one of these enlightened and beautiful men. And 828 00:44:00,480 --> 00:44:02,160 Speaker 1: he said that this book had helped change his life. 829 00:44:02,200 --> 00:44:04,040 Speaker 1: So I wanted to read it. But twenty odd years 830 00:44:04,040 --> 00:44:08,480 Speaker 1: ago I was still pretty much buy me mode, and 831 00:44:09,640 --> 00:44:12,040 Speaker 1: I read it. The first third of the book is 832 00:44:12,080 --> 00:44:16,319 Speaker 1: a little heavy. It's kind of chaos theory, quantum mechanics, 833 00:44:16,360 --> 00:44:21,640 Speaker 1: nonlinear dynamics, kinesilgi bit right. It was like you with pain, 834 00:44:21,719 --> 00:44:27,759 Speaker 1: body being this witness, consciousness whatever. Right, couldn't get through 835 00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:31,920 Speaker 1: it too tough. Ten years later, it's actually probably twenty 836 00:44:31,920 --> 00:44:35,320 Speaker 1: five years ago. So fifteen years ago I picked it 837 00:44:35,400 --> 00:44:38,520 Speaker 1: up and read it changed my life, made all of 838 00:44:38,560 --> 00:44:44,239 Speaker 1: the pieces fit into place of understanding other people understanding 839 00:44:44,239 --> 00:44:47,759 Speaker 1: why the World's where it's at. It absolutely blew me 840 00:44:47,800 --> 00:44:55,000 Speaker 1: away of how genius and poetic the model was and 841 00:44:55,080 --> 00:44:57,720 Speaker 1: how much it closed the loop on so many questions 842 00:44:57,719 --> 00:45:01,000 Speaker 1: I had. So yeah, power Versus Force and it was 843 00:45:01,080 --> 00:45:02,920 Speaker 1: part of a trilogy. There was two others, which are 844 00:45:03,160 --> 00:45:05,120 Speaker 1: if if you're not at certain levels of the mountain, 845 00:45:05,160 --> 00:45:06,279 Speaker 1: you're just going to want to color it in. 846 00:45:07,480 --> 00:45:13,520 Speaker 3: Right, Yeah, a little heavy, but but yeah, Power versus 847 00:45:13,560 --> 00:45:18,360 Speaker 3: Force is definitely my power of now in your story. 848 00:45:18,880 --> 00:45:20,680 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm loving it. I'm looking at it right now. 849 00:45:20,760 --> 00:45:25,560 Speaker 2: So power versus Force. Everyone the hidden determinants of human behavior. 850 00:45:26,680 --> 00:45:29,880 Speaker 1: David, game change are great questions. 851 00:45:29,920 --> 00:45:30,440 Speaker 3: Just order it. 852 00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:32,360 Speaker 2: I'm going to Yeah, no, I'm going to get it. 853 00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:33,880 Speaker 2: I'm going to buy it when we get off this 854 00:45:35,120 --> 00:45:38,239 Speaker 2: when we get off this call. All right, So a 855 00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:41,320 Speaker 2: couple of things. What do we got We've got maybe 856 00:45:41,400 --> 00:45:43,640 Speaker 2: ten minutes if that's you still got ten minutes. 857 00:45:43,400 --> 00:45:44,879 Speaker 1: Mate, I'm with you. 858 00:45:45,360 --> 00:45:47,400 Speaker 2: When you're a kid, what did you think you were 859 00:45:47,440 --> 00:45:50,840 Speaker 2: going to be when you were ten, twelve, fourteen? 860 00:45:51,560 --> 00:45:52,720 Speaker 1: What did you think you were. 861 00:45:52,600 --> 00:45:55,120 Speaker 2: Going to be or did you just did you did 862 00:45:55,320 --> 00:46:02,279 Speaker 2: not think like that? I don't know what career did 863 00:46:02,320 --> 00:46:05,400 Speaker 2: you think you were going to have profound experience. 864 00:46:05,440 --> 00:46:08,759 Speaker 1: At ten years old, I was in the playground and 865 00:46:08,800 --> 00:46:13,520 Speaker 1: there was a series on television called The Paras by 866 00:46:13,719 --> 00:46:17,240 Speaker 1: Frank Hilton that followed for a Oplatoon on their journey 867 00:46:17,239 --> 00:46:22,160 Speaker 1: from recruits to the Falklands. And I was in the 868 00:46:22,160 --> 00:46:24,160 Speaker 1: playground and we're talking. We'd watch it, our parents had 869 00:46:24,200 --> 00:46:25,560 Speaker 1: it on that night whatever, and a couple of us 870 00:46:25,560 --> 00:46:28,279 Speaker 1: are talking about it. And there's a guy never seen 871 00:46:28,320 --> 00:46:30,480 Speaker 1: him since I was ten, probably doesn't even know what 872 00:46:30,520 --> 00:46:34,480 Speaker 1: impact he had, but he mentioned something that changed my life. 873 00:46:34,680 --> 00:46:38,640 Speaker 1: He said, Yeah, he said, my life ambition is to 874 00:46:38,680 --> 00:46:43,160 Speaker 1: wear the red beret. Wow. Now what blew me away 875 00:46:43,200 --> 00:46:46,040 Speaker 1: out of that statement was I'd never heard the term 876 00:46:46,120 --> 00:46:52,400 Speaker 1: life ambition. That sounded hot. I was too young to 877 00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,520 Speaker 1: use the word sexy, but that sounded like captivating a 878 00:46:55,560 --> 00:46:58,200 Speaker 1: life ambition. Something spoke to me, and by the way 879 00:46:58,520 --> 00:47:00,560 Speaker 1: I talk the same one. At ten years old, I 880 00:47:00,600 --> 00:47:02,160 Speaker 1: wanted to be a para. I want to be a 881 00:47:02,200 --> 00:47:05,319 Speaker 1: part of the parachute regiment. So at twelve years old, 882 00:47:05,360 --> 00:47:07,320 Speaker 1: I lied about my age and joined the Army Cadets. 883 00:47:07,320 --> 00:47:11,400 Speaker 1: Should have been thirteen. I progressed rapidly through there to 884 00:47:11,760 --> 00:47:14,200 Speaker 1: a seventeen years old, being the company Saint Major for 885 00:47:14,239 --> 00:47:16,440 Speaker 1: the battalion, number one cadet in the UK, attached to 886 00:47:16,440 --> 00:47:21,799 Speaker 1: a Lord of tenants cadets the Queen, like number one 887 00:47:21,800 --> 00:47:24,880 Speaker 1: marksmen in the county. Blah blah blah, seven national awards. 888 00:47:24,960 --> 00:47:27,520 Speaker 1: I was a soldier. It was absolutely crystal clear. My 889 00:47:27,680 --> 00:47:31,320 Speaker 1: destiny was going to be Parachute Regiment and then Essays 890 00:47:31,360 --> 00:47:33,719 Speaker 1: Special Forces. That was all I cared about. I got 891 00:47:33,719 --> 00:47:35,719 Speaker 1: home from school, I didn't do homework. I put a 892 00:47:35,760 --> 00:47:37,640 Speaker 1: rucksack on my back full of bricks and I went running. 893 00:47:38,360 --> 00:47:41,960 Speaker 1: I saw fitness being one of the big problems. Life 894 00:47:41,960 --> 00:47:44,359 Speaker 1: had other areas. My father was an entrepreneur, He owned 895 00:47:44,360 --> 00:47:46,360 Speaker 1: his own job, kind of owned business. My mom was 896 00:47:46,360 --> 00:47:50,240 Speaker 1: always entrepreneurial. I always wanted to be a businessman as well, 897 00:47:50,360 --> 00:47:54,400 Speaker 1: but soldiering took over. I became the youngest instructor in 898 00:47:54,440 --> 00:47:56,280 Speaker 1: the history of the British Army Cadet Force at fourteen. 899 00:47:56,760 --> 00:48:00,680 Speaker 1: All that stuff. Seventeen years old, I applied join the Army. 900 00:48:01,560 --> 00:48:03,120 Speaker 1: They offer me any job in the Army I want. 901 00:48:03,160 --> 00:48:04,520 Speaker 1: I passed the exam. I said, I want to be 902 00:48:04,560 --> 00:48:06,520 Speaker 1: a parrot. They're like, nah, get a trade it's better 903 00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:08,760 Speaker 1: for you. The business side of me kicked in, says, okay, 904 00:48:09,120 --> 00:48:11,839 Speaker 1: I went parrot engineer. I thought it's highest paid job. 905 00:48:12,719 --> 00:48:16,160 Speaker 1: So two days before I'm due to go in the army, 906 00:48:17,000 --> 00:48:19,640 Speaker 1: I'm out on with the lads. My last night in 907 00:48:19,680 --> 00:48:22,680 Speaker 1: SIV Street, I was also a parrotechnics expert. I took 908 00:48:22,719 --> 00:48:24,920 Speaker 1: a homemade little pyrotechnic device to lead off in a 909 00:48:24,960 --> 00:48:26,920 Speaker 1: parking lot at midnight, just to see myself off go 910 00:48:27,000 --> 00:48:30,800 Speaker 1: bye with the lads. Combustion fusee reacts with the oxygen 911 00:48:30,840 --> 00:48:34,120 Speaker 1: burst into flames. That kind of thing I'm wearing, ironically, 912 00:48:34,120 --> 00:48:37,080 Speaker 1: a bomber jacket. The fuse goes off in my pocket 913 00:48:37,960 --> 00:48:41,680 Speaker 1: in the bar eleven o'clock at night. Smoke's pouring out 914 00:48:41,680 --> 00:48:44,080 Speaker 1: of my jacket. Next minute, boom, this thing goes off, 915 00:48:44,239 --> 00:48:46,440 Speaker 1: sets fire, and my jacket blows two glasses off the bar, 916 00:48:46,480 --> 00:48:49,160 Speaker 1: flash burned down my face. Bounce has thrown me out. 917 00:48:49,280 --> 00:48:52,120 Speaker 1: Call the cops, call the bomb squad. Anyway, let's just 918 00:48:52,160 --> 00:48:55,279 Speaker 1: say my military career didn't get off to a any 919 00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,560 Speaker 1: kind of start. Told me to keep my nose clean 920 00:48:58,600 --> 00:49:01,439 Speaker 1: for twelve months and reapply. By that time, I wanted 921 00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,760 Speaker 1: to be a businessman. I started my first business at seventeen, 922 00:49:04,840 --> 00:49:11,799 Speaker 1: became an entrepreneur, never looked back. Wow. Yeah, because here's 923 00:49:11,800 --> 00:49:14,719 Speaker 1: what I will say. Great, one thing that that track 924 00:49:14,800 --> 00:49:18,000 Speaker 1: gave me at twelve years old to seventeen, what did 925 00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:21,120 Speaker 1: it teach me? Discipline, how to get up in the morning, 926 00:49:21,440 --> 00:49:24,280 Speaker 1: how to value health and fitness, how to be self motivated, 927 00:49:24,840 --> 00:49:27,319 Speaker 1: all of the qualities that were lining up to become 928 00:49:27,360 --> 00:49:29,959 Speaker 1: an entrepreneur for life, as well as how to teach, 929 00:49:30,000 --> 00:49:31,919 Speaker 1: which is kind of what I'm doing now. So yeah, 930 00:49:31,960 --> 00:49:34,680 Speaker 1: I see it as a divine intervention from the universe 931 00:49:34,680 --> 00:49:36,759 Speaker 1: there to stop me running off killing people for being 932 00:49:36,800 --> 00:49:38,560 Speaker 1: a political porn on a chess game I don't want 933 00:49:38,560 --> 00:49:40,879 Speaker 1: to play, to actually trying to add value and serve 934 00:49:40,960 --> 00:49:43,879 Speaker 1: the world with insights from the path that I've bought. 935 00:49:45,080 --> 00:49:47,319 Speaker 2: All Right, my last question is really I love that 936 00:49:47,880 --> 00:49:50,440 Speaker 2: there's so much stuff. We could do a three hour podcast. 937 00:49:50,480 --> 00:49:52,839 Speaker 2: Obviously we can't, but we're going to get you back 938 00:49:52,840 --> 00:49:55,399 Speaker 2: because I have a name in spoken. I don't want 939 00:49:55,400 --> 00:49:57,080 Speaker 2: to I don't even want to say the things I 940 00:49:57,120 --> 00:49:59,000 Speaker 2: haven't spoken about because I don't want to bring them 941 00:49:59,040 --> 00:50:02,240 Speaker 2: up yet. But maybe an other time. But let's finish 942 00:50:02,320 --> 00:50:04,680 Speaker 2: with you talking to us for a minute or three 943 00:50:04,760 --> 00:50:09,839 Speaker 2: about happiness. I don't care where you go with this, 944 00:50:09,920 --> 00:50:13,080 Speaker 2: but I'm just interested in your take on it. Obviously, 945 00:50:13,120 --> 00:50:16,360 Speaker 2: everybody nobody wants to be less happy. Nobody wants to 946 00:50:16,440 --> 00:50:20,680 Speaker 2: be sad, miserable, depressed, or anxious. It's pretty much the 947 00:50:20,800 --> 00:50:24,320 Speaker 2: universal goal, or one of them. Talk to us about 948 00:50:24,360 --> 00:50:26,520 Speaker 2: that human condition, if you would. 949 00:50:27,480 --> 00:50:30,360 Speaker 1: Happy to I just got back from three days with 950 00:50:30,520 --> 00:50:33,959 Speaker 1: Dr Jo Despenser and Barcelona, and he actually shared something 951 00:50:33,960 --> 00:50:36,680 Speaker 1: from stage when he was being interviewed. That's the same question. 952 00:50:37,000 --> 00:50:39,600 Speaker 1: So he says, what's the secret to being happy? And 953 00:50:39,640 --> 00:50:41,760 Speaker 1: he looked in the interviewer's eyes and he said, stop 954 00:50:41,760 --> 00:50:44,960 Speaker 1: being unhappy. Now that sounds a little simplistic, but I 955 00:50:45,000 --> 00:50:46,920 Speaker 1: have a slightly different take on that I've been teaching 956 00:50:46,960 --> 00:50:49,120 Speaker 1: for a long time, and that is, if you really 957 00:50:49,120 --> 00:50:52,239 Speaker 1: want to be happy, you've got to understand what happiness is. 958 00:50:52,320 --> 00:50:56,240 Speaker 1: Happiness is a short term emotion, and as human beings 959 00:50:56,440 --> 00:50:59,439 Speaker 1: were designed to feel a range of emotions. I don't 960 00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:02,319 Speaker 1: want to be happy at my mother's funeral, right, but 961 00:51:02,440 --> 00:51:06,440 Speaker 1: I was complete. There's no unfinished conversation. She was out 962 00:51:06,480 --> 00:51:08,200 Speaker 1: of pain. It was like there was a there was 963 00:51:08,200 --> 00:51:12,879 Speaker 1: a different sense. There wasn't unhappy, yes, but it wasn't 964 00:51:12,920 --> 00:51:16,800 Speaker 1: like you know, tragic, wasn't like victimhood. So there's a 965 00:51:16,800 --> 00:51:20,920 Speaker 1: difference between understanding happiness, as I said, unfulfillment or joy. 966 00:51:21,200 --> 00:51:24,239 Speaker 1: Joy is a different state. But if you want to 967 00:51:24,440 --> 00:51:28,720 Speaker 1: understand happiness, then understand what it is what causes happiness. 968 00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:32,960 Speaker 1: It's pretty damn simple. Happiness is a byproduct or a 969 00:51:33,040 --> 00:51:39,880 Speaker 1: consequence of thinking happy thoughts. Case closed. Anger is a 970 00:51:39,880 --> 00:51:44,399 Speaker 1: byproduct or consequence of thinking angry thoughts. Case closed. Every 971 00:51:44,440 --> 00:51:49,480 Speaker 1: thought produces a chemical neuropeptide hormone that impacts the biochemistry 972 00:51:49,480 --> 00:51:51,360 Speaker 1: and the bloodstream that then is felt as what we 973 00:51:51,440 --> 00:51:55,480 Speaker 1: call an emotion. But the starting point, the trigger point, 974 00:51:55,600 --> 00:51:59,680 Speaker 1: is the thought. So, okay, if you don't want to 975 00:51:59,680 --> 00:52:02,480 Speaker 1: be you know, miserable, you want to be unhappy, Stop 976 00:52:02,640 --> 00:52:05,440 Speaker 1: thinking miserable thoughts. You want to be depressed, Stop thing 977 00:52:05,480 --> 00:52:07,320 Speaker 1: depressing thought sounds too simple. You want to be happy, 978 00:52:07,360 --> 00:52:12,480 Speaker 1: Start thinking happier thoughts. Now that's the surface answer. How 979 00:52:12,480 --> 00:52:15,279 Speaker 1: do you make it real? You start understanding what your 980 00:52:15,440 --> 00:52:18,319 Speaker 1: rules for happiness are. And now we get into some 981 00:52:18,360 --> 00:52:21,720 Speaker 1: meat and potatoes. Because so many people are walking around 982 00:52:22,200 --> 00:52:24,920 Speaker 1: with rules around what has to happen in order to 983 00:52:24,960 --> 00:52:27,480 Speaker 1: make them happy that they can't control. And that is 984 00:52:27,480 --> 00:52:31,239 Speaker 1: almost like a combination to an uncrackable safe. If everybody 985 00:52:31,360 --> 00:52:33,920 Speaker 1: likes me, if the weather's breaking great, If my boss 986 00:52:33,920 --> 00:52:36,960 Speaker 1: doesn't do this, if this, this, this, this, and this happened, 987 00:52:36,960 --> 00:52:38,920 Speaker 1: and the moon's in frecking Pluto and mercury is not 988 00:52:38,960 --> 00:52:42,560 Speaker 1: in retrograde, then I'll be happy, right, and you walking 989 00:52:42,560 --> 00:52:47,560 Speaker 1: around miserable wondering why life sucks. No. Right, I'll give 990 00:52:47,600 --> 00:52:49,480 Speaker 1: you an analogy for health, because something you'd relate to. 991 00:52:51,080 --> 00:52:52,520 Speaker 1: You know, I used to want to hold chain of 992 00:52:52,520 --> 00:52:54,960 Speaker 1: health clubs. You've owned health clubs, et cetera. Right, So 993 00:52:55,360 --> 00:52:58,440 Speaker 1: what are people's rules for health? Somebody can have a 994 00:52:58,520 --> 00:53:01,040 Speaker 1: rule that says in order to feel healthy and they 995 00:53:01,120 --> 00:53:03,400 Speaker 1: value health. I'm not saying you don't value happiness. I'm 996 00:53:03,480 --> 00:53:05,239 Speaker 1: saying you don't value health. Health is one of your 997 00:53:05,239 --> 00:53:07,440 Speaker 1: top values. So you want to be healthy, but your 998 00:53:07,560 --> 00:53:10,120 Speaker 1: rules for health say that in order for me to 999 00:53:10,200 --> 00:53:15,200 Speaker 1: give myself permission to feel healthy, notice the subconscious language frame. 1000 00:53:16,280 --> 00:53:19,040 Speaker 1: Then I have to have ten percent or less body fat. 1001 00:53:19,080 --> 00:53:21,080 Speaker 1: I have to eat organic food. I have to train 1002 00:53:21,120 --> 00:53:23,920 Speaker 1: four times a week. So what does that mean the 1003 00:53:23,960 --> 00:53:26,279 Speaker 1: gym closes for a refit or a bank holiday. You 1004 00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:29,160 Speaker 1: can only train three times and now you don't feel healthy? Bullshit, 1005 00:53:29,840 --> 00:53:32,040 Speaker 1: You just set yourself up to fail. You have somebody 1006 00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:36,280 Speaker 1: else who values health, But their rules are I feel 1007 00:53:36,280 --> 00:53:38,000 Speaker 1: healthy when I get out of bed in the morning, 1008 00:53:38,040 --> 00:53:40,560 Speaker 1: put two feet on the ground, stretch, drink a glass 1009 00:53:40,560 --> 00:53:44,120 Speaker 1: of filded water, and smile and be grateful. Now is 1010 00:53:44,160 --> 00:53:47,080 Speaker 1: it all of that inside their control? A bank holiday 1011 00:53:47,080 --> 00:53:51,000 Speaker 1: ain't going to change that, right? A measurement on a 1012 00:53:51,040 --> 00:53:54,520 Speaker 1: fat caliber caliber ain't going to change that. So what 1013 00:53:54,560 --> 00:53:58,240 Speaker 1: are your rules for health determine how you feel healthy? Yes? 1014 00:53:58,560 --> 00:54:02,239 Speaker 1: What your rules for happiness determine how you feel happiness? 1015 00:54:02,440 --> 00:54:04,279 Speaker 1: I feel happy because I get to be alive at 1016 00:54:04,280 --> 00:54:06,840 Speaker 1: a time in human history my ancestors have dreamed about. 1017 00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:09,640 Speaker 1: If you can't think of twenty things to be grateful 1018 00:54:09,680 --> 00:54:11,640 Speaker 1: for right now, you ain't looking hard enough. 1019 00:54:12,320 --> 00:54:13,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, two. 1020 00:54:13,640 --> 00:54:15,360 Speaker 1: Games in life you want to play? Or finish with this? 1021 00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:19,320 Speaker 1: If I said to your audience, Craig, I've got a 1022 00:54:19,400 --> 00:54:22,359 Speaker 1: check for one hundred thousand dollars, and I will give 1023 00:54:22,360 --> 00:54:24,799 Speaker 1: that to anyone who can make a list of ten 1024 00:54:24,840 --> 00:54:27,960 Speaker 1: things that suck about their life. I've got a lot 1025 00:54:27,960 --> 00:54:31,799 Speaker 1: of people winning that game. But if I say change 1026 00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:34,880 Speaker 1: your rules, I've got one hundred thousand dollars. And in 1027 00:54:35,000 --> 00:54:37,040 Speaker 1: order for you to get that check, you've got to 1028 00:54:37,040 --> 00:54:39,680 Speaker 1: write a list of ten things you are sincerely or 1029 00:54:39,680 --> 00:54:42,439 Speaker 1: can be grateful for in your life. I've got news 1030 00:54:42,440 --> 00:54:44,439 Speaker 1: for you. Everybody's going to win that game. Why, because 1031 00:54:44,440 --> 00:54:45,479 Speaker 1: they're going to look hard enough. 1032 00:54:46,080 --> 00:54:47,560 Speaker 2: Yes, yes, right. 1033 00:54:47,920 --> 00:54:50,200 Speaker 1: The question isn't can I be happy? I'm not happy? 1034 00:54:50,239 --> 00:54:51,640 Speaker 1: Do you want to be happy? The question is what 1035 00:54:51,719 --> 00:54:52,680 Speaker 1: game do you want to play? 1036 00:54:53,560 --> 00:54:53,920 Speaker 3: Yes? 1037 00:54:54,200 --> 00:54:57,760 Speaker 1: Because what's wrong is always available. Unhappiness is always available. 1038 00:54:57,800 --> 00:55:00,839 Speaker 1: Turn on the news. We'll give you all the reasons. Right, 1039 00:55:00,960 --> 00:55:03,040 Speaker 1: It's all the same news just keeps happening to different people. 1040 00:55:03,040 --> 00:55:05,520 Speaker 1: Have they figured that out yet? Turn off the damn 1041 00:55:05,520 --> 00:55:07,839 Speaker 1: news and start starring in your own movie rather than 1042 00:55:07,880 --> 00:55:10,279 Speaker 1: being recruited as an unpaid film extra in some big 1043 00:55:10,280 --> 00:55:13,360 Speaker 1: budget disaster bullshit. That's making you feel unhappy. You start 1044 00:55:13,400 --> 00:55:15,240 Speaker 1: with that, and it's going to get easier. 1045 00:55:17,239 --> 00:55:19,839 Speaker 2: Mate, you killed that. I had to say that, I 1046 00:55:19,880 --> 00:55:22,319 Speaker 2: had to critique you, but fuck you killed that. I 1047 00:55:22,400 --> 00:55:26,040 Speaker 2: loved that. That is so good, so true, so inspiring, 1048 00:55:26,840 --> 00:55:31,120 Speaker 2: so understandable. How do people connect with you, find you, 1049 00:55:31,160 --> 00:55:35,200 Speaker 2: follow you, and get a little bit of Paya Sage 1050 00:55:35,200 --> 00:55:35,960 Speaker 2: in their life? 1051 00:55:36,640 --> 00:55:39,440 Speaker 1: Sure, Instagram is always a good way. I put a 1052 00:55:39,440 --> 00:55:41,040 Speaker 1: lot of stuff out there to try to help people 1053 00:55:41,719 --> 00:55:46,280 Speaker 1: the real peters Age. You'll see me on there obviously, 1054 00:55:46,320 --> 00:55:49,439 Speaker 1: my website Petersage dot com, a YouTube channel. I'm putting 1055 00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,359 Speaker 1: a lot of stuff out of I'm on social come 1056 00:55:51,360 --> 00:55:52,960 Speaker 1: and follow me. I'm spending a lot of my time 1057 00:55:53,040 --> 00:55:56,920 Speaker 1: right now helping coaches, trainers, healers and therapists get more 1058 00:55:56,960 --> 00:56:01,040 Speaker 1: financially profitable because it's such a shame my background's business. 1059 00:56:01,120 --> 00:56:04,160 Speaker 1: I've made tens of millions of dollars, lost millions of dollars. 1060 00:56:04,200 --> 00:56:05,960 Speaker 1: I know the game in businesses, it's all I am. 1061 00:56:06,520 --> 00:56:09,680 Speaker 1: But when you see coaches, trained therapists that have the 1062 00:56:09,719 --> 00:56:13,160 Speaker 1: skill set to want to serve and heal or contribute, 1063 00:56:13,640 --> 00:56:15,160 Speaker 1: but they haven't got a clue how to turn that 1064 00:56:15,200 --> 00:56:19,400 Speaker 1: into a six figure lifestyle, it saddens my heart. So 1065 00:56:19,480 --> 00:56:21,000 Speaker 1: let me fix the business side for you so you 1066 00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,839 Speaker 1: can go out and help humanity. That's where I'm at 1067 00:56:22,920 --> 00:56:24,800 Speaker 1: right now. So if that resonates, come follow my work. 1068 00:56:25,440 --> 00:56:28,320 Speaker 2: Awesome, mate, we'll say goodbye off here in a moment, 1069 00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:31,040 Speaker 2: but officially for the moment. Thanks for being on the 1070 00:56:31,040 --> 00:56:34,640 Speaker 2: You project. I really appreciate your time. 1071 00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:37,839 Speaker 1: Craig, a real pleasure. What you're doing is amazing work 1072 00:56:37,880 --> 00:56:39,439 Speaker 1: in the world. My friend. I'm so glad you picked 1073 00:56:39,480 --> 00:56:42,239 Speaker 1: that book back up all those years ago and just 1074 00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:44,680 Speaker 1: ignited that spark as to who you really are. You're 1075 00:56:44,680 --> 00:56:47,160 Speaker 1: a gift to the WORLDFARE appreciate you.