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Speaker 1: Apoday Production. Welcome to the She Rises Podcast. I'm Ashley

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Speaker 1: and I'm Tiana.

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Speaker 2: This podcast is about female empowerment and encouraging you to

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Speaker 2: be your biggest, boldest, and most authentic version of yourself.

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Speaker 1: We help you shed the shame, grow to a new level.

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Speaker 1: We're gonna laugh, cry, and talk about the topics everyone

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Speaker 1: else is too afraid to talk about.

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Speaker 2: Get ready for your next level of self.

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Speaker 1: Hello, everybody, Welcome back to another episode if She Rises.

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Speaker 1: Welcome Wednesday and Today. We wanted to first say, if

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Speaker 1: you haven't listened to Monday's episode, go and listen to

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Speaker 1: that first, because you kind of feel like they're intertwined

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Speaker 1: with each other. YEP, and Monday's was more about how

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Speaker 1: to have hard conversations, conflict, boundaries, standards, expectations. And then

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Speaker 1: today's episode, the title of it is Underligned and Outgrown,

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Speaker 1: releasing people peep on a level, people who no longer

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Speaker 1: fit your life.

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Speaker 2: Something we can all relate to. That we've all struggled

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Speaker 2: with it every point on our journey.

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Speaker 1: But why is it not spoken about enough? Because we

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Speaker 1: have this story that because we were friends with someone

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Speaker 1: in preschool, we have to be friends with them forever.

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Speaker 1: I got so much shit online for having a friendship breakdown.

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Speaker 1: People automatically think that something's wrong with you, or you've

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Speaker 1: done something bad, or there's some big things blown up,

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Speaker 1: And yes, things happen, but that is life. You grow apart,

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Speaker 1: things happen. Sometimes you can't resolve what you can't see

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Speaker 1: either eye. You're just not aligned anymore. That's a normal

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Speaker 1: part of life. So today we want to talk about it,

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Speaker 1: normalize it because it is in our dms all the time.

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Speaker 1: They share their story of a friendship breakdown or relationship breakdown,

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Speaker 1: and it's just so hard and people carry so much

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Speaker 1: shame around it. So today we're going to talk about

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Speaker 1: how it feels when someone's not aligned, how to remove

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Speaker 1: them out of your life, which is very difficult, and

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Speaker 1: all things in between. So I've got a sound that

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Speaker 1: I actually saw on TikTok I thought I would play.

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Speaker 1: It's very relevant, So listen to this.

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Speaker 3: You might have that friend where you see them on

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Speaker 3: your calendar. They're like, oh, yeah, should I cancel him?

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Speaker 3: So tired or I'm not really looking forward to it,

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Speaker 3: but we've been friends forever. It's on the calendar for

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Speaker 3: a long time, and you hang out with them, and

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Speaker 3: you wonder is this fun? Sometimes really fun people can

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Speaker 3: mass they're having fun. Actually they're just fun, but they're

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Speaker 3: not actually having any fun. So you're wondering, am I

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Speaker 3: having fun? Or are they supporting me?

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Speaker 1: Wait? Was that massive? Aggressive? Why do I feel so tired?

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Speaker 3: When you leave this friend and you think I should

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Speaker 3: have just stayed home and watch Netflix? When you leave

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Speaker 3: and you can't remember anything you talked about when you leave,

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Speaker 3: a new question? Do they really like me?

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Speaker 1: Did I learn anything that I get?

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Speaker 2: Asked?

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Speaker 1: Good questions? That is the ambivalent relationship.

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Speaker 3: They take more energy than the good relationships and the

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Speaker 3: toxic relationships. When you think about the people in your life,

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Speaker 3: and I would highly recommend to make a list to

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Speaker 3: all the people in your life and put a star

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Speaker 3: next to the people who you would drop things to

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Speaker 3: hang out with, like you would move some things around

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Speaker 3: hang out with them.

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Speaker 1: That's a good relationship.

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Speaker 3: And put a minus sign next to people who you

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Speaker 3: dread hang out with. Sometimes there are obligatory relationships colleagues

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Speaker 3: or family relationships you don't really love.

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Speaker 1: That's fine, know it. Don't pretend that you like hanging

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Speaker 1: out with them. That's okay. But name is Vanessa van

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Speaker 1: Edwards and it was an interview that she did with

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Speaker 1: Mel Robins. I freaking love Mel Robins. I love the

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Speaker 1: way she explained all of that. So let's talk about it.

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Speaker 1: Because I know I've had friends in my life. I'm

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Speaker 1: really about it. I'm really bad at cutting people off,

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Speaker 1: even if I know they're not aligned, even if I

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Speaker 1: know I don't feel good around them anymore, even if

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Speaker 1: I know that the conversations don't like me up. I

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Speaker 1: just have obviously an anxious attachment that I struggle to

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Speaker 1: let go because I then think something's wrong with me

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Speaker 1: or I feel abandoned, I feel alone, And I have

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Speaker 1: this loyalty thing of like we're going to be in

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Speaker 1: each other's lives forever, and I told you I'm going

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Speaker 1: to stand by your side forever, through thick and thin

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Speaker 1: and all of your seasons like marriage vows, like I

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Speaker 1: promise I'll be here for you. I'm not going to

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Speaker 1: leave you. And I don't like being abandoned, so you

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Speaker 1: bet you, I'm not going to abandon you, yep. And

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Speaker 1: I will do anything, absolutely anything. I will let go

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Speaker 1: of my own boundaries and standards and bend over backwards

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Speaker 1: to make a relationship work. I really will, And it's

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Speaker 1: not necessarily the right thing to do. It's not honoring

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Speaker 1: yourself all the time, So why do we do it. It's

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Speaker 1: a painful thing, isn't it. I've definitely definitely been through

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Speaker 1: experiences in my life too having done that. Overextend yourself

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Speaker 1: and you overstay even when a part of you, deep

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Speaker 1: down kind of knows that it's feels out or it's

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Speaker 1: not working. And I definitely can say that I do

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Speaker 1: that in relationships more than friendships, but definitely life. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we have in different areas of life, but it's.

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Speaker 2: The same wound and it's behavior and the same desire

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Speaker 2: and need to keep them and to have that Closenessay,

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Speaker 2: then it's a hard thing to acknowledge as well, when

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Speaker 2: you are realizing and you're in that weird feeling of like, oh,

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Speaker 2: this doesn't fully feel right anymore. Something's changed, something about

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Speaker 2: this is different. They're not showing up the same way

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Speaker 2: that they used to, they don't have as much time

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Speaker 2: for me anymore, or you know, I'm just not connecting

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Speaker 2: with them in the way that the depth that I

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Speaker 2: want to cauf. You're really confronting feeling see like, oh fuck,

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Speaker 2: there's change and we don't want change.

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Speaker 1: Yes, the break up or the change or the disconnect

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Speaker 1: is really uncomfortable, even if you know it's right. And

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Speaker 1: I had this experience a couple of years ago, this

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Speaker 1: really beautiful close friend and have a lot of love her.

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Speaker 1: But I remember just walking away from the conversations and

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Speaker 1: I would say to another friend, I just feel like

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Speaker 1: drained and I feel really low vibe, and you know,

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Speaker 1: all she wants to talk about is X y Z

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Speaker 1: and I just don't want to talk about that. I

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Speaker 1: don't feel challenged, don't feel inspired, and I just and

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Speaker 1: my other friend was like, why do you keep hanging

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Speaker 1: out with them? Because I love her? I love her

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Speaker 1: and we've been through so much together and dah da

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Speaker 1: da and Steve would say the same thing. He's like,

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Speaker 1: that sounds painful. I've got they're ney the worse and

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Speaker 1: hanging out with someone that talks about that. I'm like,

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Speaker 1: I know, but I love her. And it kept going,

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Speaker 1: kept going and going, and then the friendship just kind

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Speaker 1: of fell apart, and I remember when it did, I

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Speaker 1: was so devastated, and Steve was like, but you know,

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Speaker 1: it wasn't a line. I'm like, I know this is

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Speaker 1: where I get so conflicted. I can know that it's

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Speaker 1: not right, but I struggle to let go. But I

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Speaker 1: think maybe it's just a maturity thing and an age thing.

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Speaker 1: You learn more about yourself and what you want, and

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Speaker 1: I don't know. The last couple of years, I definitely

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Speaker 1: feel way more in touch with my own energy and

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Speaker 1: more aware of where it goes. And even this last

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Speaker 1: couple of months, I said to you, like, I don't

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Speaker 1: have space for a lot of people anymore. I really don't.

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Speaker 1: And I never thought I would come to a point

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Speaker 1: where I said this. And I said to Steve the

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Speaker 1: other day and my mum, because my mom's very introverted.

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Speaker 1: So really understand why you don't have a lot of

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Speaker 1: people in your close circle. It's fucking draining. Yeah, Like

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Speaker 1: I would rather have a few close people that I

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Speaker 1: give all my energy to rather than try to spread

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Speaker 1: myself too thin. I think it really changed when I

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Speaker 1: had two kids, not even one, because you have less time,

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Speaker 1: less energy, and they take so much of it and

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Speaker 1: you want to give so much of it. I just

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Speaker 1: don't have a lot left in the battery. Yeah, if

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Speaker 1: they're not one hundred percent aligned, and they don't make

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Speaker 1: me feel amazing. We're not supporting each other in the

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Speaker 1: way that we both deserve to be supported. You don't

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Speaker 1: feel like they're cheerleading you on. There's no room for it.

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Speaker 1: But it's so.

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Speaker 4: Hard, it's so emotional, it's so hard.

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Speaker 2: But also what you were saying just now is with time,

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Speaker 2: you learn what feels good and what doesn't have a relationship.

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Speaker 2: And then with time, once you start to get to

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Speaker 2: know yourself and what you truly want out of the

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Speaker 2: relationships you have, then you start to recognize, oh, is

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Speaker 2: this really worth my time?

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Speaker 5: Yes?

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Speaker 2: Is this really worth that small amount of time and

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Speaker 2: capacity that you want to pour into the people?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 2: You know. And so you start to question because you're

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Speaker 2: not in a place of lack, Yeah you know. But

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Speaker 2: when you're in a place of lack and you feel like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: where are my people? Why don't I have anybody around me,

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Speaker 2: it's almost like you invite anyone in because you just

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Speaker 2: so badly want connection. And I've definitely been in a

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Speaker 2: place of lack in my life where that has showed

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Speaker 2: up for me, where I just really tried to fit

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Speaker 2: myself in with anybody and I used to mold and

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Speaker 2: shape shift and change myself into different versions of me

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Speaker 2: based on who I was with, so that I knew

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Speaker 2: that I would get accepted, and it didn't always work

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Speaker 2: out that way. Yeah, you know, it doesn't matter how

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Speaker 2: much you try to mold yourself, it doesn't always.

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Speaker 4: Mean that it will work.

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Speaker 1: No, people will like you for that.

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Speaker 2: You're not genuinely being yourself feel that people can feel it,

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Speaker 2: and so yeah, I definitely think it comes from that

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Speaker 2: place of like being in lack, you know, and usually

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Speaker 2: that lack is from within yourself. It's like I need

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Speaker 2: this outside of myself because I'm struggling to connect with myself.

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Speaker 1: Yes, and also recognize too that what once felt good

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Speaker 1: might not feel good now. And I know for me,

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Speaker 1: especially because I've shared my life online for so long,

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Speaker 1: it's like, oh, why don't you hang out with this

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Speaker 1: person anymore? I used to love seeing you guys together.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, but you also don't realize is from

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Speaker 1: that age to that age, we both didn't having a

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Speaker 1: kid's Yes, we both weren't running a business. We're both

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Speaker 1: free and young and like joined at the hip and

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Speaker 1: doing things differently, And now we both have kids. We

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Speaker 1: both have businesses. We've grown up. We spend a lot

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Speaker 1: more time with our family. I used to try to

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Speaker 1: party and fit in, like they might still be doing that,

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Speaker 1: and I don't do that anymore. Things change as your

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Speaker 1: chapters change, like you change when you really check into

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Speaker 1: what is feeling good instead of trying to still stay there,

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Speaker 1: stay stuck there, allow yourself to revolve, and who is

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Speaker 1: meant to come along will come along. The aligned values

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Speaker 1: part is a really important thing, isn't it. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's what happens is when you are friends with

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Speaker 1: someone for so long or it doesn't matter what timeframe

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Speaker 1: it is really but maybe in the beginning, when you

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Speaker 1: first met them.

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Speaker 4: You had a line.

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Speaker 2: Yes, but then it's like a relationship if one person

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Speaker 2: grows and the other person doesn't. Yeah, immediately fall out

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Speaker 2: of sink with each other. Yes, And then now that

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Speaker 2: you've grown, you might value health over going out or

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Speaker 2: you know, going to the gym as opposed to watching Netflix. Y. Like,

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Speaker 2: when your values change, you fall out of sync with each.

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Speaker 1: Other out a sink. Yeah, you're in different vibration when

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Speaker 1: you're in tune with your own values and you're so

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Speaker 1: strong on them I feel like you magnetically attract similar people.

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Speaker 1: And I really feel that now in my life. I

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Speaker 1: don't really have anyone in my life that parties, take drugs,

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Speaker 1: or drinks now. And I remember something at the event

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Speaker 1: last week said I had a really great night without

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Speaker 1: having a champagne. And I remember ask having a conversation,

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Speaker 1: I said, it makes you too, because it makes you

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Speaker 1: in thought, don't drink either. I forget that people drink.

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Speaker 1: It just feels so far removed from my lifestyle now.

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Speaker 1: I don't hang. And it's not to judge it. Like

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Speaker 1: most people drink and have fun, and I don't care

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Speaker 1: what everyone else does with their life. But for me personally,

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Speaker 1: I just I don't want it in my life, and

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Speaker 1: I tend to naturally now people around me also don't drink.

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Speaker 1: Like for you, it's a non negotiable, even going into

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Speaker 1: a lifelationship. Yeah, and you're so clear on your values

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Speaker 1: and health is one of those values that you don't

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Speaker 1: attract people in that. I'm into that same thing.

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Speaker 2: What you just said is so true. It feels so

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Speaker 2: far away from the little bubble that I feel like

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Speaker 2: we exist.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, are in a bubble, and I think

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Speaker 1: even it will be triggering for people to listen to that,

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Speaker 1: because I hope it doesn't come across this judge you

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Speaker 1: because it's not.

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Speaker 4: No, it's not.

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Speaker 1: It's just not where we're at right now.

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Speaker 2: And like we were talking about like partying and all

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Speaker 2: that stuff early this morning on the way up.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, we're talking about yahuasca.

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Speaker 2: And mushrooms and other stuff like honey drugs and things

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Speaker 2: like that because like I used to be a bit

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Speaker 2: of a party girl, and there's no judgment on that.

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Speaker 2: It's just not something that I value to have in

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Speaker 2: my life right now. Yeah, And that's just how I

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Speaker 2: feel about it.

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Speaker 1: And it's if you were partying with the people hanging

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Speaker 1: out with now. No, I've got a girlfriend at the moment.

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Speaker 1: And she said, I don't think I've had any friendship breakdowns.

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Speaker 1: She goes, yeah, but I also don't have the hard

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Speaker 1: conversations you have. Oh, and she fully like it. She

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Speaker 1: had a light bulb moment. She's like, holy shit, I

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Speaker 1: don't like they fucking annoy me and I don't feel

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Speaker 1: sometimes I don't want to hang out with them, but

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Speaker 1: you know, I've been friends with them since primary school.

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Speaker 1: So it just is what it is well. I was like,

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Speaker 1: oh yeah, wow. If you are not going to have

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Speaker 1: the hard conversations and talk about the things and check

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Speaker 1: in with your values, then yeah, you could be friends

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Speaker 1: forever quote unquote, But are they true value connected aligned friendships. No,

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Speaker 1: And if we talk about all the time, it's like

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Speaker 1: I have friendship wounds and you have relationship wounds. I've

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Speaker 1: been in a relationship for seventeen years. I can keep

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Speaker 1: a solid long term relationship, but I've had friendships along

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Speaker 1: the way that haven't worked out. And everyone in their

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Speaker 1: life has had friendship relationship coworker, family, Yeah, family breakdown,

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Speaker 1: big one. We are messy fucking humans. We have different opinions,

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Speaker 1: different experiences, different beliefs, and there's going to come times

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Speaker 1: where you come head to head with people and it

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Speaker 1: doesn't work out. I think everyone does experience it, and

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Speaker 1: I want to talk about it so other people don't

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Speaker 1: feel so alone and know that it's a normal part

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Speaker 1: of life. And just at the end of the day,

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Speaker 1: you cannot control what other people do. All you have

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Speaker 1: to do is tune in with you, make decisions that

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Speaker 1: feel right for your heart, and show up in a

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Speaker 1: way that you're really proud of if you are ending

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Speaker 1: an intimate relation or you're going to go through a divorce,

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Speaker 1: or you're going to confront that person at work or

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Speaker 1: let a friend go and realize you're not a line.

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Speaker 1: Like it is a difficult thing to have, but you're

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Speaker 1: honoring yourself and that's something you should be really proud of.

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Speaker 1: Like you can look at the mirror at night and

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Speaker 1: just be like, I love you. Yes, you're the older

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Speaker 1: version of yourself now and that little girl that needs

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Speaker 1: protecting and honoring, Like, just be proud of that. It's easy.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, And just because you've previously maybe avoided conversations or

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Speaker 2: maybe be struggled to have the conversations or choose yourself

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Speaker 2: doesn't mean that you can't choose that today. Yes, I

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Speaker 2: think that's the biggest thing. I think twenty twenty five

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Speaker 2: has been quite a trial and test for a lot

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Speaker 2: of people. It's a lot of heavy things that have happened,

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Speaker 2: a lot of friendship breakdowns, a lot of relationship breakdowns, challenges.

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Speaker 4: Pain, grief.

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Speaker 2: But in saying that, with all of the trials and tests,

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Speaker 2: I think what's really important is when you are in

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Speaker 2: this season of changing and outgrowing people, it's really important

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Speaker 2: to really pay attention to the meaning that you're attached

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Speaker 2: to these things. A real common theme that I've seen,

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Speaker 2: especially among my clients, is the belief that because this

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Speaker 2: friendship broke down, it means that I'm not good enough,

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Speaker 2: or that I'm not somebody worth loving, or there's something

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Speaker 2: wrong with me. Maybe there's something broken in me, maybe

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Speaker 2: I'm just not good enough. Like there's all these narratives

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Speaker 2: and stories because we internalize, oh my god, this person

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Speaker 2: doesn't want to be friends.

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Speaker 1: With me anymore?

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Speaker 2: What did I do wrong? Should I have done it better?

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Speaker 2: What could I have done better? And we put that

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Speaker 2: on ourselves instead of going this is no longer in

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Speaker 2: alignment for me.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, hear that relationships too, Like if someone cheats, it's like,

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Speaker 1: oh my god, the other girl's better than me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's prettier than me, she's got more than me.

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Speaker 2: What does she have on me that I couldn't give

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Speaker 2: or provide or.

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Speaker 1: Brings up so much? Doesn't it? I'd love to ask

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Speaker 1: you now that we've got a full understanding of what

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel good and that everyone here can know that

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Speaker 1: it's okay to end things and for things to change.

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Speaker 1: If you had a client that came to you and it'say, oh, Tiana,

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Speaker 1: I've got this friend or I'm in this relationship and

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Speaker 1: I just know it's no good for me anymore. But

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Speaker 1: I just don't know how to have that hard conversation

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Speaker 1: like with the friend. Do I just kind of slowly

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Speaker 1: wean away and not reply to her messages? Oh that

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Speaker 1: doesn't feel right? Or ye, let's start with friendship first.

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Speaker 1: How would you advise someone to break off that friendship? Like,

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Speaker 1: do you advise them to break it off like a

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Speaker 1: freaking breakup and a text message, or have a conversation

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Speaker 1: or just slowly stop replying and inviting them? Like what

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Speaker 1: would you advise block them?

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Speaker 5: Now?

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Speaker 4: I'm just yeading, just like delete.

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Speaker 2: So this actually happened last week with a client of mine,

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Speaker 2: and wow, yeah this happened. This has been a very

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Speaker 2: common thing with my clients recently, a lot of change,

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Speaker 2: a lot of rapid growth, a lot of fear of.

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Speaker 4: Leaving people behind.

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Speaker 2: Right, And my client came to me and she goes,

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Speaker 2: tis like, obviously under commidants, I only share what I

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Speaker 2: can share. But just briefly, she goes, Tiana, I've tried

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Speaker 2: to make this friendship work. I've tried everything. There's nothing

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Speaker 2: more that I can give to this friendship. I have

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Speaker 2: made effort. I've tried to go to her house. I

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Speaker 2: try to engage in the things that she likes. I

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Speaker 2: try to make time for us to catch up. And

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Speaker 2: she just gives me breadcrumbs. She gives me nothing. It's

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Speaker 2: always about her or she does just talk about her.

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Speaker 2: She doesn't hold space for me all the things. And

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Speaker 2: I just said to her, how is this feeling for

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Speaker 2: you right now? And she just said to me, it

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Speaker 2: doesn't feel good. I'm like, do you feel safe around her?

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Speaker 1: She said no?

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Speaker 2: Like would you trust her with your biggest, deepest, darkest secrets?

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Speaker 2: She goes no, Would she be somebody that you can

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Speaker 2: call upon at three o'clock in the morning?

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Speaker 4: And she said no.

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Speaker 2: And I asked her, you know, and this is something

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Speaker 2: I would get all of you to ask yourself, is

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Speaker 2: is this person actually aligned for me?

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Speaker 4: And pay attention to what your body is telling you?

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Speaker 4: And she said no.

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Speaker 2: I was like, okay, So, based on your relationship with

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Speaker 2: her and how either deep, how much respect you have

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Speaker 2: for her, how much love you have for her, how

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Speaker 2: long you've been friends, do you think this relationship is

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Speaker 2: deserving of a conversation, and she said no, okay, yeah,

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Speaker 2: so I think the thing different case to case the case.

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Speaker 2: I think the biggest thing out of this is that

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Speaker 2: when you genuinely have love, respect, you've spent a lot

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Speaker 2: of time with someone, you have a genuine connection. When

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00:16:06,961 --> 00:16:10,361
Speaker 2: you've fallen out of sync with them, you have a conversation. Right,

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Speaker 2: This is at least what I've done in my past.

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Speaker 2: But the way that I also gauge is whether I

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Speaker 2: do or don't have a conversation with him, is like,

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Speaker 2: how much do I actually love, respect, and value this person?

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Speaker 2: And if the answer is no, do I value them enough?

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Speaker 2: And my answer is no, I let it fizzle out

390
00:16:25,721 --> 00:16:27,441
Speaker 2: and it will die out on its own and we

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Speaker 2: can love each other from afar and that can be it.

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Speaker 2: But if it's someone that you feel like I would

393
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Speaker 2: be disappointed if I didn't have this conversation with him

394
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Speaker 2: because I love them so much, that's when you know

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Speaker 2: you need to.

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Speaker 1: Have a vexation. I suppose if that person, like say

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Speaker 1: in that situation, if her friend came to her and

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Speaker 1: was like, let's just call her Anna. Hey, Anna, I've

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Speaker 1: noticed you've pulled away I really miss you, Like are

400
00:16:48,441 --> 00:16:51,281
Speaker 1: we okay? Then she can also be like, hey, well,

401
00:16:51,281 --> 00:16:53,441
Speaker 1: now that you've brought it up, things aren't feeling alive

402
00:16:53,481 --> 00:16:54,761
Speaker 1: with me or da da da, and you can have

403
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Speaker 1: that conversation let her know how you're feeling. So then

404
00:16:57,321 --> 00:16:59,001
Speaker 1: you're putting your boundary in place of like, this is

405
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Speaker 1: the end for me, But you also have been respectful

406
00:17:01,321 --> 00:17:03,161
Speaker 1: and kind and sent her love and given her the

407
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Speaker 1: closure that she needs as to why this is come

408
00:17:05,641 --> 00:17:07,680
Speaker 1: to an end for her. Absolutely, that's a cool way

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00:17:07,721 --> 00:17:09,321
Speaker 1: to do it as well, And.

410
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Speaker 2: It is important to like have those checking moments as well, Yeah,

411
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Speaker 2: because you care about the person, right, so you're checking, hey,

412
00:17:15,041 --> 00:17:15,680
Speaker 2: are we okay?

413
00:17:15,761 --> 00:17:16,321
Speaker 1: Are we good?

414
00:17:16,481 --> 00:17:18,321
Speaker 2: Like is anything coming up for you? I feel like

415
00:17:18,360 --> 00:17:20,561
Speaker 2: you've learnt out a little bit. I feel like maybe

416
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Speaker 2: there's not as much effort into this relationship and maybe

417
00:17:22,961 --> 00:17:25,041
Speaker 2: I've contributed to that as well, and I love to

418
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Speaker 2: work on things. And then you can kind of see

419
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Speaker 2: where that person's at. I think bringing in conversation and

420
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Speaker 2: opening up how you're truly feeling will invite, you know, vulnerability,

421
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Speaker 2: and then you can see, Okay, does this person have

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Speaker 2: the capacity to meet me on a vulnerable level or

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Speaker 2: are they no.

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Speaker 4: Baby, it's all good, It's all fine. No, but good,

425
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Speaker 4: don't worry. What do you mean?

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Speaker 2: Like?

427
00:17:43,360 --> 00:17:44,160
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what I mean?

428
00:17:44,241 --> 00:17:46,801
Speaker 2: So you'll be able to tell from their response where

429
00:17:46,840 --> 00:17:49,521
Speaker 2: they're at, Yeah, they're out emotionally, where they're at in

430
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Speaker 2: the friendship.

431
00:17:50,321 --> 00:17:52,401
Speaker 1: And vice versa two. If you're reaching out to them

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00:17:52,481 --> 00:17:55,321
Speaker 1: asking if they're okay, and they're avoiding you and avoiding

433
00:17:55,321 --> 00:17:58,721
Speaker 1: the hard conversation, there's a lot of answers and silence too. Yeah,

434
00:17:58,840 --> 00:18:01,321
Speaker 1: it's tough. What about relationships? Do you have clients that

435
00:18:01,360 --> 00:18:02,761
Speaker 1: come to you and A're like, oh my gosh, I

436
00:18:02,801 --> 00:18:04,160
Speaker 1: need to get out of this relationship, but I just

437
00:18:04,201 --> 00:18:06,881
Speaker 1: can't leave. I'm too scared to be myself. I'm too

438
00:18:06,921 --> 00:18:11,321
Speaker 1: scared financially. Would I do? Yeah, that's a good one.

439
00:18:11,481 --> 00:18:14,041
Speaker 2: I think the first thing every single time when my

440
00:18:14,041 --> 00:18:15,561
Speaker 2: client comes to me and they're saying that they feel

441
00:18:15,640 --> 00:18:18,880
Speaker 2: rocky in their relationship, I ask them three questions. I say,

442
00:18:19,120 --> 00:18:22,041
Speaker 2: do you trust them? Are you in love with them?

443
00:18:22,080 --> 00:18:24,401
Speaker 2: And can you see yourself spending the rest of your

444
00:18:24,400 --> 00:18:24,961
Speaker 2: life with them?

445
00:18:25,120 --> 00:18:26,561
Speaker 1: Or such a powerful question.

446
00:18:26,481 --> 00:18:29,561
Speaker 2: And if any of those are not a full body fuck, yes.

447
00:18:29,640 --> 00:18:33,321
Speaker 1: Yeah, you have something to look at. Aah, that's powerful.

448
00:18:33,600 --> 00:18:33,801
Speaker 5: Right.

449
00:18:34,360 --> 00:18:37,721
Speaker 2: Those are questions that I've asked myself in previous relationships

450
00:18:37,721 --> 00:18:40,761
Speaker 2: where I've been wishy washy or on the feesh sure, yeah,

451
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:43,401
Speaker 2: where I've loved someone and haven't been in love with them.

452
00:18:43,441 --> 00:18:45,400
Speaker 2: But when I ask myself the hard questions, I'm like,

453
00:18:45,441 --> 00:18:47,120
Speaker 2: oh shit, I know exactly what I need.

454
00:18:47,041 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 1: To do with your answers there, that's right.

455
00:18:49,321 --> 00:18:51,201
Speaker 2: And I've had clients who have come to me and

456
00:18:51,360 --> 00:18:54,080
Speaker 2: those answers have not been a full yes, and they've

457
00:18:54,120 --> 00:18:55,441
Speaker 2: been able to work through it.

458
00:18:55,481 --> 00:18:56,161
Speaker 4: Trust can be.

459
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,801
Speaker 1: Rebuiltdred percent and with the communication you can work through

460
00:18:58,840 --> 00:19:00,121
Speaker 1: different issues or right.

461
00:19:00,241 --> 00:19:00,441
Speaker 5: Yeah.

462
00:19:00,441 --> 00:19:04,001
Speaker 2: But the other two I think, you know, you know,

463
00:19:03,880 --> 00:19:06,921
Speaker 2: you know, if those answers are no, like yeah, are

464
00:19:06,961 --> 00:19:09,120
Speaker 2: you really in the relationship you genuinely want.

465
00:19:09,001 --> 00:19:12,001
Speaker 1: To go Oh that's such good questions. Yeah, oh thank you,

466
00:19:12,120 --> 00:19:12,840
Speaker 1: that's awesome.

467
00:19:13,041 --> 00:19:14,601
Speaker 2: There's one more thing that I would add to that

468
00:19:14,600 --> 00:19:17,080
Speaker 2: in terms of like how to actually have that conversation

469
00:19:17,281 --> 00:19:20,961
Speaker 2: if you do decide that you're kind of outgrowing somebody. Okay,

470
00:19:21,001 --> 00:19:22,720
Speaker 2: this is something that I've done before in the past

471
00:19:22,721 --> 00:19:25,921
Speaker 2: that's been quite uncomfortable, but sounds it kind of what

472
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:28,600
Speaker 2: you need to do, you know when you're at this place.

473
00:19:28,640 --> 00:19:31,281
Speaker 2: I think the biggest thing was when you bring it

474
00:19:31,360 --> 00:19:33,561
Speaker 2: up to this person, is like acknowledging all of the

475
00:19:33,600 --> 00:19:34,720
Speaker 2: time that you've spent together.

476
00:19:34,921 --> 00:19:35,640
Speaker 1: True role play.

477
00:19:36,321 --> 00:19:38,241
Speaker 4: Oh oh stop it, so.

478
00:19:38,241 --> 00:19:39,840
Speaker 1: I'm your friend that you want to end like you

479
00:19:39,880 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 1: don't want to be friends with me?

480
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:42,001
Speaker 4: That in the bingo card.

481
00:19:42,080 --> 00:19:44,961
Speaker 1: No, it wasn't on a car. All right, you got this?

482
00:19:46,001 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 2: Hey baby, do you have the capacity to have a conversation?

483
00:19:48,201 --> 00:19:49,321
Speaker 2: It's really important to me.

484
00:19:49,441 --> 00:19:51,041
Speaker 1: Sure do bring it in.

485
00:19:51,561 --> 00:19:54,801
Speaker 2: Recently, I've been feeling we've been distancing from each other,

486
00:19:55,080 --> 00:19:58,481
Speaker 2: and I've noticed with time that we maybe aren't spending

487
00:19:58,561 --> 00:20:01,481
Speaker 2: enough time with each other. We're not as close, and

488
00:20:01,681 --> 00:20:03,880
Speaker 2: I feel like we're kind of going in different directions

489
00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,080
Speaker 2: in life. And it doesn't mean anything about who either

490
00:20:07,120 --> 00:20:09,600
Speaker 2: of us are. It just means that I feel like

491
00:20:09,600 --> 00:20:12,561
Speaker 2: they're kind of going off on different paths. And I

492
00:20:12,721 --> 00:20:15,080
Speaker 2: just wanted to say that I've loved every minute that

493
00:20:15,120 --> 00:20:17,721
Speaker 2: we've spent together and all of the memories and things

494
00:20:17,721 --> 00:20:20,561
Speaker 2: like that that we have. But I just feel right

495
00:20:20,600 --> 00:20:23,801
Speaker 2: now it feels true for me that this friendship feels

496
00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 2: complete for me.

497
00:20:24,880 --> 00:20:26,640
Speaker 1: Oh wow, I mean, first of all, you said that

498
00:20:26,681 --> 00:20:30,321
Speaker 1: so beautifully. There's two situations that can happen here. After

499
00:20:30,761 --> 00:20:32,200
Speaker 1: that friend has heard it, she's going to be like,

500
00:20:32,241 --> 00:20:33,920
Speaker 1: oh my gosh, I feel the same way, Like I

501
00:20:33,961 --> 00:20:36,960
Speaker 1: love you, but we're definitely disconnected. And I felt like

502
00:20:37,001 --> 00:20:39,360
Speaker 1: that too. We haven't mean spenty much time together or

503
00:20:39,441 --> 00:20:40,720
Speaker 1: keep following you, and I can't wait to see what

504
00:20:40,761 --> 00:20:42,561
Speaker 1: you do. And I'll hope we wump into each other

505
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:45,001
Speaker 1: one day, and I'm so grateful for our memories and

506
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:46,801
Speaker 1: we will definitely continue to love each other from afar

507
00:20:46,840 --> 00:20:48,160
Speaker 1: and thank you for the respect to come to me.

508
00:20:48,201 --> 00:20:51,481
Speaker 1: I really loving you for that. Bye bye. And then

509
00:20:52,441 --> 00:20:55,361
Speaker 1: there's the other situation where I'm guessing a more anxious

510
00:20:55,360 --> 00:20:58,561
Speaker 1: personality and someone who is maybe a little bit not

511
00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,480
Speaker 1: aware and disconnected with where the friendship's at, and she

512
00:21:02,561 --> 00:21:06,280
Speaker 1: comes at you with this, Oh, okay, so you're just

513
00:21:06,281 --> 00:21:09,401
Speaker 1: gonna throw our friendship? Are you freaking up with our friendship?

514
00:21:09,400 --> 00:21:11,160
Speaker 1: Like you just don't want to hang out anymore? Is

515
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:12,640
Speaker 1: that just it? You just ending our friendship.

516
00:21:13,441 --> 00:21:16,160
Speaker 2: It's not that I want to throw away the friendship.

517
00:21:16,281 --> 00:21:19,480
Speaker 2: I love you and I love every time and moment

518
00:21:19,521 --> 00:21:22,480
Speaker 2: we've shared together. And it doesn't mean that me feeling

519
00:21:22,521 --> 00:21:25,360
Speaker 2: this way means anything about the past and the time

520
00:21:25,360 --> 00:21:27,561
Speaker 2: that we've spent together. It just means that right now

521
00:21:27,681 --> 00:21:30,441
Speaker 2: we're feeling like we're going in separate ways, and I'm

522
00:21:30,481 --> 00:21:33,321
Speaker 2: feeling it's like becoming more challenging to connect with you

523
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:35,561
Speaker 2: on a deeper level at the moment. And it doesn't

524
00:21:35,561 --> 00:21:37,561
Speaker 2: mean that we won't come back together as friends in

525
00:21:37,600 --> 00:21:40,160
Speaker 2: the future. It just means, at least for me, it

526
00:21:40,241 --> 00:21:42,481
Speaker 2: feels true for me that in this season, right now,

527
00:21:42,561 --> 00:21:44,440
Speaker 2: this is where I'm at, and I respect you too

528
00:21:44,561 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 2: much to not be anything but honest with you. And

529
00:21:47,241 --> 00:21:49,281
Speaker 2: it's because I love you that I'm having this conversation

530
00:21:49,360 --> 00:21:49,640
Speaker 2: with you.

531
00:21:50,001 --> 00:21:53,001
Speaker 1: I got nothing. I'm like, how can I fight back

532
00:21:53,041 --> 00:21:55,681
Speaker 1: with that? I can't. You know, if you would only

533
00:21:55,721 --> 00:21:57,720
Speaker 1: hope that your friends could come to you with that

534
00:21:57,880 --> 00:22:03,321
Speaker 1: much respect, honesty, calmness, love, truth. Yeah, Like, I feel

535
00:22:03,321 --> 00:22:06,801
Speaker 1: like truth is kind, right, Honest communication is kind communication.

536
00:22:07,001 --> 00:22:08,561
Speaker 2: But you know what, it's really fucking hard to have

537
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:09,441
Speaker 2: those conversations.

538
00:22:09,600 --> 00:22:11,841
Speaker 1: It's so much easier in this environment, isn't it ver much?

539
00:22:11,880 --> 00:22:13,720
Speaker 2: And you know what, I've actually had this conversation with

540
00:22:13,761 --> 00:22:16,360
Speaker 2: a friend of mine down in Sydney, really and she

541
00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:19,761
Speaker 2: was somebody that I loved so much and we were

542
00:22:19,961 --> 00:22:24,881
Speaker 2: so so close, but she was in an abusive relationship

543
00:22:25,360 --> 00:22:28,880
Speaker 2: and it was really hard. She was really like losing

544
00:22:28,880 --> 00:22:31,640
Speaker 2: herself in it, and she was so sucked into it

545
00:22:31,681 --> 00:22:34,681
Speaker 2: and he would bring it into our friendship. And at

546
00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:37,481
Speaker 2: one point I had helped her so much with the relationship.

547
00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:40,480
Speaker 2: I even helped her go multiple times pack up her house,

548
00:22:40,600 --> 00:22:42,840
Speaker 2: pack all her things up, only for her to stay

549
00:22:42,880 --> 00:22:44,561
Speaker 2: with him. I was just in a place in my

550
00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,881
Speaker 2: life where like I didn't have the capacity for anybody

551
00:22:46,880 --> 00:22:49,680
Speaker 2: else's stuff, you know. And I look back sometimes and

552
00:22:49,681 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 2: I think, fuck, I wish I could have stayed and

553
00:22:51,281 --> 00:22:54,281
Speaker 2: been there for her through that time. But at that

554
00:22:54,360 --> 00:22:56,561
Speaker 2: point in my life, I just remember saying to her, like, Babe, like,

555
00:22:56,600 --> 00:22:58,920
Speaker 2: if you're going to stay with him, I can't hear

556
00:22:58,961 --> 00:23:01,801
Speaker 2: you talk about how he's abusive and how he scares

557
00:23:01,840 --> 00:23:04,120
Speaker 2: you and how he like stands over you and hits you.

558
00:23:04,201 --> 00:23:06,080
Speaker 2: And like I was like, I love you, babe, but

559
00:23:06,120 --> 00:23:07,640
Speaker 2: I just I can't hear it any if you're.

560
00:23:07,521 --> 00:23:08,360
Speaker 4: Going to stay with him.

561
00:23:08,761 --> 00:23:11,041
Speaker 2: I was younger at this point as well, Yeah, because

562
00:23:11,080 --> 00:23:12,960
Speaker 2: it was just taking over my life, because it was

563
00:23:13,640 --> 00:23:15,880
Speaker 2: every single day she'd send me a voice message or

564
00:23:15,880 --> 00:23:19,201
Speaker 2: call me or something like that. And anyway, it got

565
00:23:19,201 --> 00:23:21,761
Speaker 2: to the point where I ended up just saying, hey, babe,

566
00:23:21,761 --> 00:23:24,721
Speaker 2: I love you so much, and I fucking hate that

567
00:23:24,761 --> 00:23:26,600
Speaker 2: I'm having this conversation with you, and I'm sorry that

568
00:23:26,640 --> 00:23:28,960
Speaker 2: you're in this. You tell me every single day that

569
00:23:29,001 --> 00:23:30,881
Speaker 2: you want to leave, and you never do, and I

570
00:23:30,961 --> 00:23:34,001
Speaker 2: just I hope one day that you decide to leave

571
00:23:34,360 --> 00:23:36,801
Speaker 2: and that you choose yourself, but right now I need

572
00:23:36,840 --> 00:23:38,120
Speaker 2: to take space from our friendship.

573
00:23:38,961 --> 00:23:40,161
Speaker 4: It was really fucking hard.

574
00:23:39,961 --> 00:23:42,200
Speaker 2: And I feel even guilty almost saying that, because I

575
00:23:42,201 --> 00:23:44,641
Speaker 2: think anybody listening to that might even be like, well,

576
00:23:44,681 --> 00:23:45,440
Speaker 2: she fucking needed you.

577
00:23:45,481 --> 00:23:47,201
Speaker 4: Why would you leave her in her hardest time?

578
00:23:47,441 --> 00:23:48,481
Speaker 1: You stayed for so long?

579
00:23:48,600 --> 00:23:48,921
Speaker 4: I did.

580
00:23:48,961 --> 00:23:51,400
Speaker 2: I stayed for a really long time, and it just

581
00:23:51,561 --> 00:23:53,521
Speaker 2: was chewing at my life.

582
00:23:53,321 --> 00:23:54,920
Speaker 1: And your mental health and the day you have to

583
00:23:54,961 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 1: look after your own mental health as well. Oh, that's tough.

584
00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:00,801
Speaker 1: When I was younger, I had a girl that was

585
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:03,641
Speaker 1: just requiring a lot from me and would get really

586
00:24:03,721 --> 00:24:06,001
Speaker 1: upset if I didn't contact her every day and needed

587
00:24:06,041 --> 00:24:08,920
Speaker 1: a lot of attention, very very anxious, and I wouldn't

588
00:24:08,921 --> 00:24:11,481
Speaker 1: have known about the attachment styles. But I just felt

589
00:24:11,561 --> 00:24:15,041
Speaker 1: quite suffocated, so I had to end that. And then, yeah,

590
00:24:15,041 --> 00:24:17,441
Speaker 1: I've had one friend kind of close off our friendship

591
00:24:17,441 --> 00:24:20,241
Speaker 1: in a text message. I respected her for the way

592
00:24:20,281 --> 00:24:22,041
Speaker 1: that she handed it, but I also didn't feel like

593
00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:25,321
Speaker 1: I had much closure. Yeah, so that was hard. Yeah,

594
00:24:25,321 --> 00:24:27,360
Speaker 1: that would have been had I was like mixed. I

595
00:24:27,400 --> 00:24:29,720
Speaker 1: was like, I really respected that she did it in

596
00:24:29,761 --> 00:24:32,321
Speaker 1: a way. I think for her that was all that

597
00:24:32,360 --> 00:24:34,521
Speaker 1: she had the capacity for. I don't think she could.

598
00:24:34,561 --> 00:24:36,441
Speaker 1: She's not a very not someone that can sit down

599
00:24:36,481 --> 00:24:38,281
Speaker 1: and have hard conversations, so for her that would have

600
00:24:38,281 --> 00:24:40,961
Speaker 1: been really hard, and I respect that she even did that.

601
00:24:41,640 --> 00:24:43,920
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think the way you had that conversation

602
00:24:44,001 --> 00:24:46,521
Speaker 1: before is just so beautiful. And I think if anyone

603
00:24:46,561 --> 00:24:48,880
Speaker 1: wants to come to you like that, you would just

604
00:24:48,880 --> 00:24:51,680
Speaker 1: respect them so much and be so thankful for the

605
00:24:51,681 --> 00:24:53,801
Speaker 1: way that they've done that, rather than going bitching behind

606
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:57,601
Speaker 1: your back or being two faced, or just screening your calls,

607
00:24:57,721 --> 00:24:59,360
Speaker 1: or like all of a sudden, cutting you off with

608
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,001
Speaker 1: no closure. I think that could be really tough. So

609
00:25:02,041 --> 00:25:04,120
Speaker 1: I think the role modeling example that you gave was

610
00:25:04,160 --> 00:25:07,360
Speaker 1: so beautiful and I hope people listening to this take

611
00:25:07,521 --> 00:25:09,840
Speaker 1: some of your language and words and tone and bring

612
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:12,600
Speaker 1: that into their dynamics, because we know that you're listening.

613
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:15,281
Speaker 1: If you're listening to this episode, it's probably because you're

614
00:25:15,281 --> 00:25:16,961
Speaker 1: in a situation right now where you need to cut

615
00:25:16,961 --> 00:25:19,321
Speaker 1: someone off, or you're not feeling the lines anymore, or

616
00:25:19,321 --> 00:25:22,920
Speaker 1: you're anxiously attached, or things just aren't feeling good and

617
00:25:23,001 --> 00:25:24,961
Speaker 1: need to check in and have some of those hard conversations,

618
00:25:25,041 --> 00:25:27,680
Speaker 1: or just start having stronger boundaries around who you allow

619
00:25:27,681 --> 00:25:29,960
Speaker 1: in your space and energy and which waiting to know

620
00:25:30,201 --> 00:25:32,401
Speaker 1: with you. It's hard, it's really hard, And.

621
00:25:32,360 --> 00:25:34,000
Speaker 2: You know what, I think the biggest thing is, like

622
00:25:34,201 --> 00:25:36,200
Speaker 2: respect is a big fucking thing for me, you know,

623
00:25:37,001 --> 00:25:39,880
Speaker 2: and I truly believe that just because somebody is no

624
00:25:39,961 --> 00:25:42,041
Speaker 2: longer in our lives doesn't mean that we don't respect them.

625
00:25:42,561 --> 00:25:44,081
Speaker 4: It's still the respect is still.

626
00:25:43,880 --> 00:25:46,241
Speaker 2: There, and the way that we start things, we should

627
00:25:46,281 --> 00:25:48,641
Speaker 2: also end them that way. You know, it doesn't matter

628
00:25:48,721 --> 00:25:51,480
Speaker 2: what it is and how hard the conversation is, you

629
00:25:51,681 --> 00:25:55,441
Speaker 2: respect that person so much more. Es I know, I've

630
00:25:55,481 --> 00:25:57,801
Speaker 2: had that conversation a couple of times for different reasons,

631
00:25:58,321 --> 00:26:01,680
Speaker 2: and every single person has been like, thank you so much,

632
00:26:01,921 --> 00:26:03,601
Speaker 2: thank you for being honest with me so I can

633
00:26:03,640 --> 00:26:06,360
Speaker 2: work on this, or thank you so much for respecting

634
00:26:06,360 --> 00:26:08,640
Speaker 2: me enough to have the honest conversation with me, because

635
00:26:08,640 --> 00:26:10,281
Speaker 2: I just want you to know that I love you still.

636
00:26:10,521 --> 00:26:10,921
Speaker 1: Yeah.

637
00:26:10,961 --> 00:26:13,241
Speaker 2: And then the next part is that I've also been

638
00:26:13,241 --> 00:26:15,441
Speaker 2: on the other end of that where somebody has had

639
00:26:15,441 --> 00:26:18,480
Speaker 2: that hard conversation with me and stop being friends with me,

640
00:26:18,761 --> 00:26:20,281
Speaker 2: and I've been like, thank you so much for being

641
00:26:20,281 --> 00:26:23,160
Speaker 2: honest with me. I would love to know in that

642
00:26:23,241 --> 00:26:27,161
Speaker 2: friendship who ended your friendship over the text message? Is

643
00:26:27,201 --> 00:26:30,281
Speaker 2: there something that you wish, like a different way that

644
00:26:30,281 --> 00:26:31,640
Speaker 2: that could have gone so much?

645
00:26:31,681 --> 00:26:32,601
Speaker 1: So Yeah, on.

646
00:26:32,640 --> 00:26:36,281
Speaker 2: The receiving end of that, for anyone listening who might

647
00:26:36,321 --> 00:26:39,121
Speaker 2: be behaving that way, Yeah, how would you have liked

648
00:26:39,120 --> 00:26:40,640
Speaker 2: that person to handle things.

649
00:26:40,441 --> 00:26:42,801
Speaker 1: To have a conversation? Yeah, I felt like it was

650
00:26:43,001 --> 00:26:46,400
Speaker 1: almost a bit avoidant. And when you've had a long

651
00:26:46,441 --> 00:26:49,200
Speaker 1: standing friendship with someone and you've been through so much together.

652
00:26:49,721 --> 00:26:53,961
Speaker 1: For me, my expectations, which I'm well aware of my expectations,

653
00:26:54,400 --> 00:26:56,321
Speaker 1: and how I would show up as I have the

654
00:26:56,400 --> 00:26:58,481
Speaker 1: respect that you're just talking about, I had the respect

655
00:26:58,481 --> 00:27:01,281
Speaker 1: to have a conversation with them and if other things

656
00:27:01,321 --> 00:27:04,200
Speaker 1: have come up to end the friendship, I think they

657
00:27:04,241 --> 00:27:07,641
Speaker 1: are deserving of knowing what that is. Even if you've

658
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,241
Speaker 1: made your mind up, I think everyone should be given

659
00:27:10,241 --> 00:27:15,120
Speaker 1: the opportunity to hear it and be able to take responsibility, apologize,

660
00:27:15,400 --> 00:27:17,321
Speaker 1: have the discussion around it, even if you still want

661
00:27:17,321 --> 00:27:20,641
Speaker 1: to separate and go your own ways. But just cutting

662
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:22,640
Speaker 1: it like that, even if it was done with love,

663
00:27:23,281 --> 00:27:26,960
Speaker 1: it just doesn't feel respectful and enough for me. I

664
00:27:26,961 --> 00:27:29,281
Speaker 1: would have liked a little bit more, and it's kind

665
00:27:29,281 --> 00:27:31,241
Speaker 1: of left me feeling like there wasn't as much closure.

666
00:27:31,281 --> 00:27:34,041
Speaker 1: And even in that sense, if someone wanted to end

667
00:27:34,041 --> 00:27:36,001
Speaker 1: a friendship with me like that, I would have loved

668
00:27:36,001 --> 00:27:39,001
Speaker 1: to just give them a hug bye. You know, because

669
00:27:39,360 --> 00:27:40,920
Speaker 1: I still love on all of my friends, even the

670
00:27:40,961 --> 00:27:43,440
Speaker 1: ones that I've had breakdowns with. I still have so

671
00:27:43,521 --> 00:27:46,721
Speaker 1: much love for them and respect for them and want

672
00:27:46,761 --> 00:27:50,041
Speaker 1: the best for them. I wish things could be different sometimes.

673
00:27:50,120 --> 00:27:52,881
Speaker 2: Just to give the person who's in that position maybe

674
00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:54,761
Speaker 2: a little bit of context of the other person on

675
00:27:54,761 --> 00:27:56,801
Speaker 2: the other side. What do you think that would have

676
00:27:56,921 --> 00:28:00,760
Speaker 2: given you if you were to receive that, Like if

677
00:28:00,801 --> 00:28:02,561
Speaker 2: they had behaved in the way that you needed what

678
00:28:02,600 --> 00:28:02,961
Speaker 2: do you think.

679
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:06,321
Speaker 1: That they would have left you with closure, Yeah, acceptance

680
00:28:06,921 --> 00:28:11,641
Speaker 1: and love for us as individuals and for our friendship

681
00:28:11,640 --> 00:28:14,281
Speaker 1: and what it once was, whereas I feel like it's

682
00:28:14,321 --> 00:28:17,961
Speaker 1: just kind of been left an open wound and there's questions.

683
00:28:18,521 --> 00:28:21,321
Speaker 1: So I think not having closure for me is really hard.

684
00:28:21,561 --> 00:28:22,001
Speaker 2: Yeah.

685
00:28:22,160 --> 00:28:24,080
Speaker 1: I know a lot of people on motivational speakers, so

686
00:28:24,120 --> 00:28:26,840
Speaker 1: you don't know it's near closure, like move on except

687
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,480
Speaker 1: things how they are. That sounds lovely, But for me,

688
00:28:29,521 --> 00:28:31,561
Speaker 1: I like having closure, and I'm also a very self

689
00:28:31,561 --> 00:28:34,240
Speaker 1: aware person. I want to hear and know if something's

690
00:28:34,281 --> 00:28:36,401
Speaker 1: happened or come up in the past that we haven't resolved,

691
00:28:36,961 --> 00:28:39,081
Speaker 1: and you know what long standing friendships are probably has

692
00:28:39,081 --> 00:28:41,480
Speaker 1: been stuff like I can take full responsibility for how

693
00:28:41,481 --> 00:28:44,481
Speaker 1: I would have shown up in certain situations in stress

694
00:28:44,561 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 1: or discomfort or in my anxiousness. How I deal with

695
00:28:48,801 --> 00:28:51,081
Speaker 1: things now would have been so different to how I

696
00:28:51,121 --> 00:28:54,561
Speaker 1: handled it back then. So I wish that both parties

697
00:28:54,881 --> 00:28:57,001
Speaker 1: involved could have those open dialogues, Like I feel like

698
00:28:57,041 --> 00:28:59,081
Speaker 1: if anything comes up for us, we just it's straight

699
00:28:59,121 --> 00:29:02,161
Speaker 1: away a conversation. It's not something we let sit or

700
00:29:02,201 --> 00:29:05,761
Speaker 1: fester or fester. It's like and it's like even ignore her.

701
00:29:05,801 --> 00:29:08,921
Speaker 1: I'm like, yeah, you okay, Like something's here, we talk

702
00:29:08,961 --> 00:29:11,881
Speaker 1: about it straight away. But then it's also like, okay, well,

703
00:29:12,041 --> 00:29:14,161
Speaker 1: some friendships have ended because they can't meet you where

704
00:29:14,161 --> 00:29:16,841
Speaker 1: they haven't met themselves. That's what brings me pieces of

705
00:29:16,881 --> 00:29:18,601
Speaker 1: like I just know that that's all she could do

706
00:29:18,641 --> 00:29:21,561
Speaker 1: in that moment. She couldn't have the conversation. She couldn't

707
00:29:21,561 --> 00:29:23,161
Speaker 1: sit down face to face to me and tell me

708
00:29:23,201 --> 00:29:26,921
Speaker 1: how she really felt because she's too uncomfortable. And that's

709
00:29:26,961 --> 00:29:28,841
Speaker 1: where she's at, and that's where some people are at.

710
00:29:28,841 --> 00:29:30,240
Speaker 1: They don't know how to do all of that, and

711
00:29:30,521 --> 00:29:32,441
Speaker 1: it takes a lot of awareness and a lot of bravery.

712
00:29:32,481 --> 00:29:34,721
Speaker 1: And I once wasn't there. Yeah, I couldn't have these

713
00:29:34,721 --> 00:29:37,321
Speaker 1: conversations years ago. So I have compassion love for her,

714
00:29:37,561 --> 00:29:39,761
Speaker 1: but it doesn't mean I don't still feel hurt and yeah,

715
00:29:39,881 --> 00:29:42,401
Speaker 1: wish I had the closure. Yeah, But I'm really grateful

716
00:29:42,441 --> 00:29:45,041
Speaker 1: now that I have my friends that I can have

717
00:29:45,161 --> 00:29:48,361
Speaker 1: those conversations with. If anything comes up, I'm just like

718
00:29:48,481 --> 00:29:50,761
Speaker 1: straight in there and talking about it. Yeah, And we

719
00:29:50,841 --> 00:29:53,241
Speaker 1: hear each other and we work it out and it's

720
00:29:53,361 --> 00:29:56,841
Speaker 1: good and it dissolves and then our friendship carries on. Yeah,

721
00:29:56,881 --> 00:29:58,561
Speaker 1: and that's just like the new stand that I have

722
00:29:58,641 --> 00:30:00,441
Speaker 1: in friendships so hard.

723
00:30:00,241 --> 00:30:01,281
Speaker 4: Though it makes me emotional.

724
00:30:01,441 --> 00:30:04,801
Speaker 1: Oh, relationships such just so hard as it really is. Yeah, God,

725
00:30:04,801 --> 00:30:05,641
Speaker 1: which of our period?

726
00:30:05,641 --> 00:30:06,161
Speaker 5: When you cry?

727
00:30:06,241 --> 00:30:08,521
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like I've been an emotional mess

728
00:30:08,521 --> 00:30:09,521
Speaker 2: for the last two weeks.

729
00:30:09,521 --> 00:30:10,481
Speaker 1: Everything makes me cry.

730
00:30:10,641 --> 00:30:14,561
Speaker 5: Recently, producers are just gonna be like, oh my god,

731
00:30:14,561 --> 00:30:15,441
Speaker 5: these girls stuff crying.

732
00:30:16,281 --> 00:30:19,881
Speaker 1: Two guys even talk when I say to you. The

733
00:30:19,961 --> 00:30:21,561
Speaker 1: other day we were talking about when you cry, you

734
00:30:21,601 --> 00:30:23,401
Speaker 1: like cover your face, like, yeah, because I'm such an

735
00:30:23,481 --> 00:30:24,041
Speaker 1: ugly crier.

736
00:30:24,281 --> 00:30:25,760
Speaker 4: Don't we naturally want to hide?

737
00:30:26,121 --> 00:30:27,881
Speaker 5: Yeah. I think the other night when I was on

738
00:30:27,921 --> 00:30:31,200
Speaker 5: the phone too, like covered my face. I'm like, I

739
00:30:31,201 --> 00:30:35,241
Speaker 5: am an ugly crier. Oh, relationship stuff just always makes

740
00:30:35,241 --> 00:30:38,201
Speaker 5: me emotional because it's just it's hard you love on people.

741
00:30:38,561 --> 00:30:40,721
Speaker 5: The people I've fallen out whither I'm not closed with anymore.

742
00:30:40,721 --> 00:30:42,481
Speaker 5: It's like there was such a big part of your life,

743
00:30:43,001 --> 00:30:44,321
Speaker 5: and there was a part of your life where you

744
00:30:44,361 --> 00:30:46,881
Speaker 5: shad everything with them and you had that beautiful bond

745
00:30:46,921 --> 00:30:48,881
Speaker 5: and then it's just like not there. It's a form

746
00:30:48,881 --> 00:30:50,801
Speaker 5: of grief because you're grieving someone that you no longer

747
00:30:50,841 --> 00:30:54,281
Speaker 5: have access to and that's hard, and maybe because we've

748
00:30:54,281 --> 00:30:56,201
Speaker 5: got other grief in our lives. At the moment, it's

749
00:30:56,241 --> 00:30:58,761
Speaker 5: like tricker line makes me cry, like it feels heavier,

750
00:30:58,841 --> 00:31:02,641
Speaker 5: It feels heavier, and closure just gives me peace. Maybe

751
00:31:02,681 --> 00:31:05,081
Speaker 5: it's a form of control. When I've got closure, I'm.

752
00:31:04,921 --> 00:31:07,601
Speaker 1: Like in control of the situation. But I don't get

753
00:31:07,601 --> 00:31:10,561
Speaker 1: to like have that. I'm just left wondering, you know.

754
00:31:11,681 --> 00:31:13,081
Speaker 1: So Yeah, it's tricky.

755
00:31:13,121 --> 00:31:15,961
Speaker 2: It's a really hard thing for anyone to navigate and hold.

756
00:31:16,121 --> 00:31:20,281
Speaker 2: Is like the lack of closure friendships, relationships.

757
00:31:19,481 --> 00:31:21,881
Speaker 1: And then online too. When people ask me questions, I'm like,

758
00:31:22,241 --> 00:31:23,000
Speaker 1: I would like to know.

759
00:31:23,361 --> 00:31:26,081
Speaker 4: Yeah, I would like to know. You know, yeah you

760
00:31:26,161 --> 00:31:27,081
Speaker 4: have the same question.

761
00:31:27,241 --> 00:31:28,721
Speaker 1: I have the same questions.

762
00:31:29,041 --> 00:31:29,241
Speaker 5: Yeah.

763
00:31:29,241 --> 00:31:30,960
Speaker 2: I think this is a huge side of friendship and

764
00:31:31,001 --> 00:31:33,721
Speaker 2: relationships that not many people are feeling brave enough to have.

765
00:31:34,521 --> 00:31:38,081
Speaker 2: Is the real raw vulnerability of the pain that happens

766
00:31:38,081 --> 00:31:39,321
Speaker 2: when you don't get any closure.

767
00:31:39,641 --> 00:31:43,001
Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't know. My internal relationship with Steve. I

768
00:31:43,081 --> 00:31:45,521
Speaker 1: go to him for anything and everything, Like, definitely, some

769
00:31:45,721 --> 00:31:49,481
Speaker 1: conversations are harder and uncomfortable, but I can't not talk

770
00:31:49,521 --> 00:31:52,000
Speaker 1: to you about things like I just have so much

771
00:31:52,081 --> 00:31:55,441
Speaker 1: respect for our relationship. Yeah, I cannot sweep I did

772
00:31:55,441 --> 00:31:57,361
Speaker 1: when I was younger. Yeah, all it did was like

773
00:31:57,441 --> 00:32:01,801
Speaker 1: build up resentment and affect our connection and our depths. Yeah,

774
00:32:01,841 --> 00:32:03,960
Speaker 1: and now I'm just like, that's no, that's not going

775
00:32:04,041 --> 00:32:05,801
Speaker 1: to be here, Like, that's not it. I'm not going

776
00:32:05,881 --> 00:32:09,401
Speaker 1: to have space here. I take so much responsibility for

777
00:32:09,561 --> 00:32:11,681
Speaker 1: where our relationship's at and how I want it to be.

778
00:32:11,841 --> 00:32:13,681
Speaker 1: I have that vision and I want that. I can

779
00:32:13,721 --> 00:32:15,681
Speaker 1: feel that. I won't let that get in the way.

780
00:32:15,881 --> 00:32:17,761
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like, why would I sweep it when it impacts

781
00:32:17,761 --> 00:32:18,881
Speaker 2: our foundations.

782
00:32:18,401 --> 00:32:20,521
Speaker 1: One hundred percent? And I have that same with my friendships.

783
00:32:20,561 --> 00:32:23,240
Speaker 1: Now I'm not allowing that to be there because I

784
00:32:23,281 --> 00:32:24,041
Speaker 1: love them too much.

785
00:32:25,121 --> 00:32:27,480
Speaker 2: And also, you've been able to feel the level of

786
00:32:27,561 --> 00:32:30,321
Speaker 2: depth and how good a relationship does feel and how

787
00:32:30,361 --> 00:32:33,121
Speaker 2: safe it feels. Yeah, when you are communicating in a

788
00:32:33,121 --> 00:32:37,480
Speaker 2: way that is productive or communicating anything that sits between you, Yeah,

789
00:32:37,561 --> 00:32:39,641
Speaker 2: because it just takes you to that deeper level of

790
00:32:39,721 --> 00:32:42,881
Speaker 2: vulnerability and connection. And that's something that you just can't

791
00:32:42,921 --> 00:32:45,921
Speaker 2: have when someone's in their ego, when they're protecting themselves,

792
00:32:45,961 --> 00:32:50,121
Speaker 2: when they're trying to preserve themselves over preserve the connection

793
00:32:50,161 --> 00:32:51,041
Speaker 2: of the relationship.

794
00:32:51,121 --> 00:32:52,081
Speaker 4: It's just so different.

795
00:32:52,201 --> 00:32:54,601
Speaker 1: It's not your job to change people either, know, you know,

796
00:32:54,681 --> 00:32:56,561
Speaker 1: as much as I'd want to change the way some

797
00:32:56,561 --> 00:32:59,081
Speaker 1: people do things like, it's not my responsibility. You kind

798
00:32:59,121 --> 00:33:00,561
Speaker 1: of just have to have to accept people for where

799
00:33:00,561 --> 00:33:03,481
Speaker 1: they're at. It's nice type people around me that value

800
00:33:03,681 --> 00:33:06,760
Speaker 1: communication as much as what I do and value relationships

801
00:33:06,761 --> 00:33:07,841
Speaker 1: as much as what I do, And it kind of

802
00:33:07,921 --> 00:33:10,761
Speaker 1: highlights you can see why other friendship is broken down. Yeah,

803
00:33:10,761 --> 00:33:12,881
Speaker 1: because you're not valuing the same thing. And my mom

804
00:33:12,921 --> 00:33:14,321
Speaker 1: said this to me too, about a friendship that I

805
00:33:14,321 --> 00:33:17,001
Speaker 1: don't really talk to her much anymore. She's like, she's

806
00:33:17,001 --> 00:33:18,841
Speaker 1: never really valued friendship as much as you. And at

807
00:33:18,881 --> 00:33:20,240
Speaker 1: first I was like, what do you mean? How can

808
00:33:20,241 --> 00:33:22,801
Speaker 1: people not value friendship? She does, but she doesn't. Yeah,

809
00:33:23,361 --> 00:33:25,601
Speaker 1: I'm like that I don't really value friendships. Tasy like

810
00:33:25,681 --> 00:33:27,881
Speaker 1: that it's not on the top of his values. But

811
00:33:27,961 --> 00:33:30,921
Speaker 1: you've always loved friendship. True, Your friends have been your

812
00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:33,240
Speaker 1: safe place. When you're at home with your stepdad, you

813
00:33:33,241 --> 00:33:34,361
Speaker 1: never wanted to be there. You want to be with

814
00:33:34,361 --> 00:33:37,161
Speaker 1: your friends. They've always been your safe place. They've always

815
00:33:37,161 --> 00:33:39,121
Speaker 1: been the people that you've turned to that you've lean on,

816
00:33:39,521 --> 00:33:41,161
Speaker 1: so you can see why you value them so much.

817
00:33:41,201 --> 00:33:43,401
Speaker 1: But doesn't mean everyone else does. Yeah, see to you

818
00:33:43,481 --> 00:33:45,200
Speaker 1: and a friendship breakdown is like, oh my god, the

819
00:33:45,241 --> 00:33:46,761
Speaker 1: worst thing in the world. To them, it's like a

820
00:33:47,081 --> 00:33:49,601
Speaker 1: move on, like all good, Oh that happens.

821
00:33:49,881 --> 00:33:50,881
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's so hard.

822
00:33:50,921 --> 00:33:53,200
Speaker 1: Different values. We're not all the same people.

823
00:33:53,401 --> 00:33:55,561
Speaker 4: No, that's the hardest thing though.

824
00:33:55,481 --> 00:33:57,121
Speaker 1: Because sometimes you we expect them to be.

825
00:33:57,521 --> 00:33:59,361
Speaker 4: That's the hard thing to come to terms with. It's like,

826
00:33:59,401 --> 00:34:01,281
Speaker 4: how can you not value it the way that I do?

827
00:34:01,401 --> 00:34:03,721
Speaker 1: But then you meet people like me and you who

828
00:34:03,801 --> 00:34:06,761
Speaker 1: have the same value. Works. You use an example of

829
00:34:06,801 --> 00:34:09,960
Speaker 1: food a little while ago. Food, Yeah, where you were

830
00:34:10,001 --> 00:34:11,721
Speaker 1: like it just when you've got the same values. When

831
00:34:11,761 --> 00:34:14,601
Speaker 1: we go out for dinner, we both want steak. It's

832
00:34:14,641 --> 00:34:17,001
Speaker 1: just we value the same thing. We want high protein,

833
00:34:17,241 --> 00:34:19,321
Speaker 1: we want to feel good. It's so true, and it

834
00:34:19,401 --> 00:34:22,681
Speaker 1: just works. We didn't enjoy the same food. It makes

835
00:34:22,721 --> 00:34:25,721
Speaker 1: a little bit harder. It's a service level value. I

836
00:34:25,761 --> 00:34:26,761
Speaker 1: was like, wow, that's so true.

837
00:34:26,761 --> 00:34:27,401
Speaker 4: It's so true.

838
00:34:27,521 --> 00:34:30,041
Speaker 2: Oh yes, actually we've had a conversation about this around.

839
00:34:30,441 --> 00:34:35,001
Speaker 2: When you have the same love languages in an intimate relationship, easier.

840
00:34:35,081 --> 00:34:37,321
Speaker 2: It's easy because you give what you love to take

841
00:34:37,601 --> 00:34:39,601
Speaker 2: or love to receive, yes, and then the same thing

842
00:34:39,641 --> 00:34:41,921
Speaker 2: in a relationship, like I think a huge thing for us.

843
00:34:41,961 --> 00:34:44,361
Speaker 2: We have a lot of similarities.

844
00:34:45,161 --> 00:34:45,681
Speaker 5: Oh this is just.

845
00:34:45,681 --> 00:34:47,881
Speaker 2: Gels and this gels. I'm like, oh my god, we

846
00:34:47,881 --> 00:34:48,561
Speaker 2: have the same wound.

847
00:34:51,401 --> 00:34:52,321
Speaker 1: Yeah.

848
00:34:52,361 --> 00:34:55,601
Speaker 2: So having those similarities I think allows us to understand

849
00:34:55,681 --> 00:34:56,801
Speaker 2: each other on a deeper level.

850
00:34:56,921 --> 00:34:59,521
Speaker 1: And it's not at such a shock no, whereas I've

851
00:34:59,521 --> 00:35:01,081
Speaker 1: definitely had friends in the past where I'm like, oh

852
00:35:01,121 --> 00:35:02,641
Speaker 1: my god, I'm sup said I didn't get advantage to that,

853
00:35:02,641 --> 00:35:05,881
Speaker 1: and they're like, why, I don't give a fuck, where's

854
00:35:05,881 --> 00:35:06,361
Speaker 1: my invite?

855
00:35:06,361 --> 00:35:06,960
Speaker 4: Why are not there?

856
00:35:07,081 --> 00:35:09,041
Speaker 1: It's nice to be around people that share the same

857
00:35:09,081 --> 00:35:11,161
Speaker 1: values and get you and see you where you're at

858
00:35:11,161 --> 00:35:14,121
Speaker 1: because they've met themselves there as well. People can only

859
00:35:14,161 --> 00:35:16,521
Speaker 1: meet you where they've met themselves. You can't accept them

860
00:35:16,521 --> 00:35:18,081
Speaker 1: to meet you if they haven't done it for themselves

861
00:35:18,481 --> 00:35:19,401
Speaker 1: that level of depth.

862
00:35:19,881 --> 00:35:22,041
Speaker 2: So I think not taking it personally when they can't

863
00:35:22,081 --> 00:35:25,401
Speaker 2: meet you she is an art in itself.

864
00:35:25,161 --> 00:35:27,201
Speaker 1: Having compassion for where they're at, which is hard when

865
00:35:27,201 --> 00:35:28,721
Speaker 1: you're emotionally plugged into them.

866
00:35:28,841 --> 00:35:32,201
Speaker 2: This ties into expectations. Right. I dealt with this a

867
00:35:32,201 --> 00:35:33,881
Speaker 2: couple of times in my life with people in my

868
00:35:33,921 --> 00:35:37,561
Speaker 2: life feel really significant to me, where I had expectations

869
00:35:37,561 --> 00:35:39,601
Speaker 2: of them to be what I needed them to be,

870
00:35:40,281 --> 00:35:42,001
Speaker 2: and then I was like, why am I always disappointed

871
00:35:42,041 --> 00:35:44,321
Speaker 2: that they're not that? And then remember working with this

872
00:35:44,401 --> 00:35:47,721
Speaker 2: coach once and she told me, she said, who are

873
00:35:47,761 --> 00:35:49,681
Speaker 2: you to say that the way that this person is

874
00:35:49,721 --> 00:35:53,401
Speaker 2: living their life isn't good enough? And it just was

875
00:35:53,441 --> 00:35:56,081
Speaker 2: the biggest mic drop. It stopped me in my tracks,

876
00:35:56,081 --> 00:35:58,281
Speaker 2: and I'm like, oh my god, I've literally been judging

877
00:35:58,321 --> 00:36:02,361
Speaker 2: this person for not meeting my invisible as standard and

878
00:36:02,441 --> 00:36:05,601
Speaker 2: expectation when I'm not even giving them a chance to

879
00:36:05,841 --> 00:36:08,961
Speaker 2: accept them for who they actually are. Like, they're showing

880
00:36:08,961 --> 00:36:11,721
Speaker 2: me the capacity that they have to me, Ah, who

881
00:36:11,801 --> 00:36:12,440
Speaker 2: am I to say.

882
00:36:12,361 --> 00:36:13,081
Speaker 4: That that's not enough?

883
00:36:13,241 --> 00:36:13,401
Speaker 2: Yeah?

884
00:36:13,521 --> 00:36:15,081
Speaker 4: Who am I have said that that's not good enough?

885
00:36:15,281 --> 00:36:16,161
Speaker 1: So true? Isn't it?

886
00:36:16,201 --> 00:36:17,481
Speaker 4: Like it's just their first.

887
00:36:17,201 --> 00:36:19,921
Speaker 2: Time living life as well, and they're figuring it out

888
00:36:19,961 --> 00:36:23,361
Speaker 2: and removing that expectation, accepting them for who they are,

889
00:36:23,721 --> 00:36:27,440
Speaker 2: and then giving myself anything that I needed outside of that,

890
00:36:28,201 --> 00:36:30,081
Speaker 2: It's like, cool, Now I love and accept you for

891
00:36:30,121 --> 00:36:31,201
Speaker 2: who you are, and it's such.

892
00:36:31,041 --> 00:36:32,361
Speaker 1: A beautiful way to be, isn't it.

893
00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:36,601
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's a practice, though it is a practice, not

894
00:36:36,641 --> 00:36:37,241
Speaker 2: perfect at it.

895
00:36:37,401 --> 00:36:37,801
Speaker 5: Know that.

896
00:36:39,401 --> 00:36:40,881
Speaker 1: All right, Well, we've went on a bit of a

897
00:36:40,921 --> 00:36:43,401
Speaker 1: tangent then, but this is a highly requested one. It's

898
00:36:43,441 --> 00:36:45,401
Speaker 1: always now DMS. We know you all go through it.

899
00:36:45,441 --> 00:36:47,321
Speaker 1: You can be in denial if you haven't been through it.

900
00:36:47,321 --> 00:36:49,761
Speaker 1: Maybe you're lucky, maybe you're not having the hard conversations,

901
00:36:50,041 --> 00:36:51,561
Speaker 1: or maybe it's around the corner and something you need

902
00:36:51,601 --> 00:36:54,001
Speaker 1: to do. Yeah, we hope this episode has helped. Yeah,

903
00:36:54,001 --> 00:36:55,441
Speaker 1: and if you have anything that comes up for you

904
00:36:55,561 --> 00:36:58,521
Speaker 1: around this specific topic, jump into the forum because I

905
00:36:58,601 --> 00:37:00,121
Speaker 1: used to do. There will be so many women who

906
00:37:00,161 --> 00:37:02,601
Speaker 1: are going to be able to relate do this. Maybe

907
00:37:02,601 --> 00:37:04,001
Speaker 1: you're going through it right now and you need a

908
00:37:04,001 --> 00:37:05,921
Speaker 1: little bit of support. You know that you can lean

909
00:37:05,921 --> 00:37:07,921
Speaker 1: on us. There's support in that, and there's also our

910
00:37:07,961 --> 00:37:10,921
Speaker 1: besties advice segments. We have an anonymous submission form that

911
00:37:10,961 --> 00:37:12,961
Speaker 1: you can fill out by the link in the description

912
00:37:13,041 --> 00:37:15,841
Speaker 1: box or it's always in our Instagram bio. Let us

913
00:37:15,841 --> 00:37:17,681
Speaker 1: know your story, where you at, what are you struggling with?

914
00:37:17,801 --> 00:37:19,561
Speaker 1: You don't know what to do? You need some advice.

915
00:37:19,841 --> 00:37:22,321
Speaker 1: That's what this whole Tuesday segment is going to be about, so.

916
00:37:22,281 --> 00:37:24,401
Speaker 2: Jump in there, or if you want to go one

917
00:37:24,481 --> 00:37:27,241
Speaker 2: level deeper, we have our Shee Raisers live event in October.

918
00:37:27,401 --> 00:37:29,241
Speaker 2: We're actually going to have a live podcast, so we're

919
00:37:29,281 --> 00:37:31,041
Speaker 2: going to have a live bestie segment. We're going to

920
00:37:31,121 --> 00:37:33,921
Speaker 2: have a personal development segment Freaky Friday. We've also got

921
00:37:34,001 --> 00:37:36,041
Speaker 2: Q and A and Panels as well with other people

922
00:37:36,241 --> 00:37:37,961
Speaker 2: going to bring on board. So if you want to

923
00:37:38,001 --> 00:37:40,121
Speaker 2: go that one level deeper and you want to experience

924
00:37:40,241 --> 00:37:42,201
Speaker 2: you know this, or you have any questions for us,

925
00:37:42,401 --> 00:37:44,121
Speaker 2: come and join us on the night. It'll be so

926
00:37:44,241 --> 00:37:46,321
Speaker 2: much fun. Bring your girls, or if you dare to

927
00:37:46,321 --> 00:37:48,601
Speaker 2: be brave enough, comes solo and you'll meet people there.

928
00:37:48,721 --> 00:37:51,521
Speaker 1: If you love listening to us, it's this but live,

929
00:37:51,641 --> 00:37:54,321
Speaker 1: so you're being in our energy, you're hearing it firsthand.

930
00:37:54,721 --> 00:37:58,961
Speaker 1: It's just like raw real, unfiltered in the flash. It's

931
00:37:58,961 --> 00:38:02,441
Speaker 1: going so much fun. We've got entertainment. It's VIP experience

932
00:38:02,441 --> 00:38:05,761
Speaker 1: as well. That's available limited tickets seven. Yeah, but we're

933
00:38:05,801 --> 00:38:08,761
Speaker 1: really excited. It's happening October seventeenth, for can wait to

934
00:38:08,801 --> 00:38:10,481
Speaker 1: see you there. So the link of the tickets is

935
00:38:10,521 --> 00:38:13,201
Speaker 1: also in the description box Blow and on an Instagram too,

936
00:38:13,641 --> 00:38:15,401
Speaker 1: So can't wait to see you there, beautiful, See you

937
00:38:15,401 --> 00:38:15,721
Speaker 1: next time.

938
00:38:15,761 --> 00:38:18,321
Speaker 2: Thanks for joining us, guys, Bye bye.