WEBVTT - When painkillers become an addiction

0:00:00.400 --> 0:00:04.080
<v Speaker 1>Hi, listeners, friends, fans of this podcast. How are you? Yes,

0:00:04.200 --> 0:00:06.920
<v Speaker 1>you are listening to Healthy Ish, the daily podcast from

0:00:06.920 --> 0:00:09.440
<v Speaker 1>Body and Soul. I am your host of Felicity Harley.

0:00:09.880 --> 0:00:13.040
<v Speaker 1>Yoga teacher and author Kirsten Moore joins me today now.

0:00:13.080 --> 0:00:15.800
<v Speaker 1>She was diagnosed with a spinal tumor at twenty one,

0:00:16.040 --> 0:00:19.520
<v Speaker 1>and she shares her experience with managing chronic pain and

0:00:19.520 --> 0:00:23.560
<v Speaker 1>eventually her addiction to opioids. A word of warning, we

0:00:23.640 --> 0:00:27.159
<v Speaker 1>deal with some heavy topics in this chat. If you

0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:32.280
<v Speaker 1>want to hear Kirsten's full story, it's pretty gritty, it's epic.

0:00:32.640 --> 0:00:35.319
<v Speaker 1>She has healed, she's managing well. Today you can listen

0:00:35.400 --> 0:00:38.000
<v Speaker 1>into Extra Healthy ISSU, where we talk all about the above.

0:00:38.120 --> 0:00:53.200
<v Speaker 1>You can grab that wherever you get your podcasts. Kirstin,

0:00:53.280 --> 0:00:55.440
<v Speaker 1>thanks for joining us on the podcast today. How are you?

0:00:56.360 --> 0:00:59.720
<v Speaker 1>I'm doing good? Thank you? You've had good having me good?

0:01:00.160 --> 0:01:04.000
<v Speaker 1>You just come off teaching a yoga class. Yes, very zen,

0:01:04.560 --> 0:01:07.160
<v Speaker 1>good to hear well. I want to talk to you

0:01:07.200 --> 0:01:10.320
<v Speaker 1>today about addiction to prescription medication. It's not something we've

0:01:10.319 --> 0:01:12.320
<v Speaker 1>actually talked about on the podcast, but I think it's

0:01:12.520 --> 0:01:16.399
<v Speaker 1>very real. Around three point four million Aussies of have

0:01:16.520 --> 0:01:19.720
<v Speaker 1>chronic long term pain and more than half of women,

0:01:19.760 --> 0:01:24.160
<v Speaker 1>which I think is really important to point out, not

0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.280
<v Speaker 1>saying they're all addicted, but addiction to opioids is rising.

0:01:27.319 --> 0:01:28.640
<v Speaker 1>Tell us about your experience.

0:01:29.800 --> 0:01:33.200
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, when you say that, you know, I'm not surprised, unfortunately.

0:01:34.440 --> 0:01:38.160
<v Speaker 2>I think so many people struggle with chronic pain anyway,

0:01:38.440 --> 0:01:41.280
<v Speaker 2>and women. I think I think the stats are that

0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:45.000
<v Speaker 2>women experience chronic pain more than men, and like when

0:01:45.000 --> 0:01:48.320
<v Speaker 2>they go to doctors, I think it's kind of used

0:01:48.360 --> 0:01:51.480
<v Speaker 2>as like an easy fix in some ways. You know,

0:01:51.920 --> 0:01:55.160
<v Speaker 2>not not on purpose, but doctors only have less than

0:01:55.160 --> 0:01:58.960
<v Speaker 2>fifteen minutes with a patient most of the time, and

0:01:59.040 --> 0:02:00.760
<v Speaker 2>so you sort of rushed through. And if a patient

0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:04.080
<v Speaker 2>is sitting in front of you in pain, asking for

0:02:04.160 --> 0:02:07.560
<v Speaker 2>help and you've only got fifteen minutes, I mean, it's

0:02:08.360 --> 0:02:09.000
<v Speaker 2>kind of.

0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:10.480
<v Speaker 1>The easy solution.

0:02:10.880 --> 0:02:14.400
<v Speaker 2>It's the easy solution. It's a band aid solution, unfortunately,

0:02:14.560 --> 0:02:17.240
<v Speaker 2>but it is. It is an easier solution for them

0:02:17.280 --> 0:02:19.480
<v Speaker 2>to do something on the spot, and I guess it

0:02:19.560 --> 0:02:22.440
<v Speaker 2>just spirals from there, at least it did in my case.

0:02:22.560 --> 0:02:24.160
<v Speaker 1>What's it a pain? Were you experiencing?

0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:27.360
<v Speaker 2>So I had a spinal tumor. I was diagnosed with

0:02:27.360 --> 0:02:30.840
<v Speaker 2>the tumor in my spine at twenty one, and because

0:02:30.880 --> 0:02:34.600
<v Speaker 2>I was doing some yoga and exercise classes at the time,

0:02:35.280 --> 0:02:37.519
<v Speaker 2>I just thought i'd pulled a muscle. So for a

0:02:37.560 --> 0:02:40.560
<v Speaker 2>long time it just felt like that deep strain, like

0:02:40.560 --> 0:02:44.000
<v Speaker 2>you've strained a muscle, and then it didn't go away.

0:02:44.200 --> 0:02:47.160
<v Speaker 2>So it stayed for like five months, six months. We

0:02:47.160 --> 0:02:49.480
<v Speaker 2>were doing tests and stuff and nothing was really showing

0:02:49.560 --> 0:02:52.960
<v Speaker 2>up until finally they found the tumor. So it was

0:02:53.040 --> 0:02:56.520
<v Speaker 2>just this aching pain. I remember being covered in ice packs.

0:02:56.560 --> 0:02:56.760
<v Speaker 1>You know.

0:02:56.880 --> 0:02:58.880
<v Speaker 2>I was living at home at the time, and Mum

0:02:58.919 --> 0:03:01.480
<v Speaker 2>was just constantly bringing me more ice packs to stack

0:03:01.520 --> 0:03:04.200
<v Speaker 2>on top of myself in order to be able to

0:03:04.200 --> 0:03:08.080
<v Speaker 2>go to sleep and feel somewhat comfortable. But yeah, I

0:03:08.080 --> 0:03:12.239
<v Speaker 2>mean even at that time, I was having preting prescribed

0:03:12.240 --> 0:03:14.280
<v Speaker 2>opiates for this extreme pain.

0:03:15.520 --> 0:03:17.600
<v Speaker 1>And what happened with your tumor tell us a bit

0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:18.120
<v Speaker 1>more about that.

0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.160
<v Speaker 2>So I ended up being on kind of an experimental

0:03:22.240 --> 0:03:26.080
<v Speaker 2>chemotherapy for about eighteen months before I was able to

0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:31.239
<v Speaker 2>have a surgery, and that's sort of when things escalated.

0:03:31.400 --> 0:03:36.040
<v Speaker 2>I suppose with the addiction, my pain became very extreme. Obviously,

0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:38.120
<v Speaker 2>when I was in hospital, I was on a lot

0:03:38.120 --> 0:03:40.360
<v Speaker 2>of morphine drips and stuff because I'd had a full

0:03:40.400 --> 0:03:43.960
<v Speaker 2>spine or resection that means rods in the spine, you know,

0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:48.000
<v Speaker 2>removed a whole vertebra, and it was I won't go

0:03:48.040 --> 0:03:50.960
<v Speaker 2>into too much detail here, but it was not pretty.

0:03:51.120 --> 0:03:54.800
<v Speaker 1>You're only twenty one, I mean, wow, Yeah, it was tough.

0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.160
<v Speaker 2>It was tough, and I like at the time, you know,

0:03:57.240 --> 0:03:59.280
<v Speaker 2>you feel like an adult when you're twenty one. But

0:03:59.680 --> 0:04:02.680
<v Speaker 2>now in my thirties, my mid thirties, I look back

0:04:02.680 --> 0:04:07.200
<v Speaker 2>and I think I was a baby, that poor girl.

0:04:07.600 --> 0:04:10.400
<v Speaker 2>So yeah, it was a lot of pain meds at

0:04:10.440 --> 0:04:14.000
<v Speaker 2>the time being pumped into me necessarily at that time. Yeah,

0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:17.039
<v Speaker 2>but my problem was that my pain sort of became

0:04:17.160 --> 0:04:19.760
<v Speaker 2>chronic and after the surgery, and that just meant that

0:04:20.040 --> 0:04:22.720
<v Speaker 2>I continued on those medications for years.

0:04:23.040 --> 0:04:24.880
<v Speaker 1>What was your pain? Can you describe it more about

0:04:24.920 --> 0:04:28.839
<v Speaker 1>your pain afterwards and perhaps how it just never went away?

0:04:30.040 --> 0:04:34.160
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I guess in some ways it changed. So there

0:04:34.200 --> 0:04:37.360
<v Speaker 2>was severe pain for about six months after the surgery.

0:04:38.120 --> 0:04:39.880
<v Speaker 2>I want to give some people hope if they're having

0:04:39.920 --> 0:04:42.599
<v Speaker 2>spinal surgery. You know, the real severe pain when I

0:04:42.640 --> 0:04:45.640
<v Speaker 2>was bedridden was about three months and then I was

0:04:45.680 --> 0:04:48.520
<v Speaker 2>able to start reducing medication and start moving a lot

0:04:48.560 --> 0:04:51.559
<v Speaker 2>more around that time, and then building up six months

0:04:51.600 --> 0:04:53.600
<v Speaker 2>was pretty good. I was able to study a little

0:04:53.600 --> 0:04:55.560
<v Speaker 2>bit and you know, do it a tiny bit of

0:04:55.600 --> 0:05:00.279
<v Speaker 2>work again. But the pain as I healed became much

0:05:00.320 --> 0:05:05.039
<v Speaker 2>more about tension and I think scar tissue. Even though

0:05:05.040 --> 0:05:07.200
<v Speaker 2>I was moving, I was a yoga instructor, so I'm

0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:09.839
<v Speaker 2>still moving quite a bit. And what it's been like

0:05:09.920 --> 0:05:12.800
<v Speaker 2>in the last few years has just been as if

0:05:12.839 --> 0:05:18.680
<v Speaker 2>my muscles are post exercise, just squeezed tightly constantly, particularly

0:05:18.680 --> 0:05:21.480
<v Speaker 2>in my neck and shoulders. You know. Nowadays, I will

0:05:21.480 --> 0:05:24.720
<v Speaker 2>do a pilates class and I'm pretty I'm pretty good

0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:27.640
<v Speaker 2>at listening to my body. I'll be pretty gentle with myself.

0:05:27.680 --> 0:05:30.080
<v Speaker 2>But if I overdo it even a little bit, I

0:05:30.120 --> 0:05:32.880
<v Speaker 2>wake up the next day and I will feel it.

0:05:33.120 --> 0:05:35.760
<v Speaker 2>My neck will be really sore, I'll have really bad headaches,

0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:39.719
<v Speaker 2>and it's just, you know, it's just a real game

0:05:39.760 --> 0:05:43.200
<v Speaker 2>of balance, really, which is not a word that addicts

0:05:43.200 --> 0:05:44.560
<v Speaker 2>tend to like.

0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:47.800
<v Speaker 1>No, no, not at all. When did you actually realize

0:05:47.960 --> 0:05:51.760
<v Speaker 1>you were addicted to opioids after your operation?

0:05:53.120 --> 0:05:56.480
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, so I think I when I started to heal,

0:05:57.520 --> 0:06:00.719
<v Speaker 2>I started to become more aware. You know, when I

0:06:00.760 --> 0:06:02.960
<v Speaker 2>was first taking them, they were just treating the pain,

0:06:03.120 --> 0:06:07.200
<v Speaker 2>so I didn't really notice much of the after effects,

0:06:07.200 --> 0:06:09.080
<v Speaker 2>the other effects that might have been a little bit

0:06:09.080 --> 0:06:12.039
<v Speaker 2>more euphoric. But as I started to heal and my

0:06:12.120 --> 0:06:14.599
<v Speaker 2>pain was more manageable, then I was able to start

0:06:14.640 --> 0:06:20.080
<v Speaker 2>noticing these more interesting effects that I was enjoying, and

0:06:20.880 --> 0:06:23.640
<v Speaker 2>my life kind of blew up. I was experiencing a

0:06:23.640 --> 0:06:27.000
<v Speaker 2>lot of grief at the same time, So then I

0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:30.800
<v Speaker 2>was realizing that as well as treating physical pain, they

0:06:30.800 --> 0:06:34.600
<v Speaker 2>were able to treat emotional and mental pain just as

0:06:34.640 --> 0:06:36.440
<v Speaker 2>well in some cases.

0:06:37.480 --> 0:06:41.200
<v Speaker 1>So how did you? I suppose the simple words I

0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:46.000
<v Speaker 1>get off them, like how did you heal? And wean you? Like,

0:06:46.360 --> 0:06:48.200
<v Speaker 1>what is the word like? Get up?

0:06:48.360 --> 0:06:49.680
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, wean yourself off?

0:06:49.720 --> 0:06:50.320
<v Speaker 1>I suppose.

0:06:51.120 --> 0:06:54.600
<v Speaker 2>Look, I was told that, and I even at twenty one,

0:06:54.640 --> 0:06:58.400
<v Speaker 2>I knew that I had kind of addictive personality. I

0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.960
<v Speaker 2>hadn't really, you know, experienced anything in that world before.

0:07:01.000 --> 0:07:04.000
<v Speaker 2>I'd never taken drugs before, but just in terms of

0:07:04.800 --> 0:07:08.120
<v Speaker 2>I had had an RX as a teenager. That's a

0:07:08.240 --> 0:07:12.240
<v Speaker 2>very obsessive condition. I would look at magazines and look

0:07:12.240 --> 0:07:15.120
<v Speaker 2>at all these women with their like distorted faces from

0:07:15.120 --> 0:07:18.320
<v Speaker 2>plastic surgery and be like, I should never have plastic surgery.

0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:19.160
<v Speaker 1>That will be me.

0:07:20.080 --> 0:07:22.720
<v Speaker 2>I just kind of had this sense about myself that

0:07:22.840 --> 0:07:26.240
<v Speaker 2>I could easily become addicted to something. So I said

0:07:26.280 --> 0:07:30.080
<v Speaker 2>to my doctor at the time, how before my surgery,

0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:34.600
<v Speaker 2>how do people usually come off this strong medication, because

0:07:34.640 --> 0:07:37.360
<v Speaker 2>I know it's addictive, and he was like, oh, most people,

0:07:37.440 --> 0:07:41.320
<v Speaker 2>just as their pain resolves slowly wean themselves off it naturally.

0:07:42.120 --> 0:07:44.480
<v Speaker 2>And in my head, I'm like, that's not going to

0:07:44.560 --> 0:07:47.880
<v Speaker 2>be me. I just knew it, but I didn't say

0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:49.960
<v Speaker 2>anything because my dad was in the room, and you know,

0:07:50.000 --> 0:07:54.800
<v Speaker 2>it was embarrassed. So that's kind of what ended up happening,

0:07:54.840 --> 0:07:57.200
<v Speaker 2>you know, didn't It didn't naturally wean off for me.

0:07:57.440 --> 0:08:00.160
<v Speaker 2>And maybe it is because I ended up having so

0:08:00.160 --> 0:08:06.000
<v Speaker 2>many tragic life events happen simultaneously. But I use the

0:08:06.080 --> 0:08:09.080
<v Speaker 2>drugs like a crutch, so to come off them I

0:08:09.160 --> 0:08:10.840
<v Speaker 2>required a lot of help.

0:08:12.280 --> 0:08:15.520
<v Speaker 1>What advice do you have for anyone who is perhaps

0:08:15.560 --> 0:08:17.880
<v Speaker 1>feeling they might be in a similar situation, or there's

0:08:17.880 --> 0:08:20.680
<v Speaker 1>someone around them who they've got a sense that, oh,

0:08:20.720 --> 0:08:25.200
<v Speaker 1>I just worry this could go the wrong way.

0:08:25.240 --> 0:08:29.560
<v Speaker 2>It's so hard because I think my family knew that

0:08:29.600 --> 0:08:33.040
<v Speaker 2>something was wrong for a long time, and a lot

0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.440
<v Speaker 2>of people around me could see that I wasn't well,

0:08:35.600 --> 0:08:39.040
<v Speaker 2>but because I was experiencing so much grief and mental

0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:43.240
<v Speaker 2>health issues at the time, and heartache from losing some

0:08:43.280 --> 0:08:46.960
<v Speaker 2>people very close to me, they could sort of chop

0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:50.120
<v Speaker 2>it all up to grief, you know, like grief looks

0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:52.760
<v Speaker 2>different for everyone, and a lot of my behaviors was

0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:55.200
<v Speaker 2>associated with that, but a lot of it was also

0:08:55.559 --> 0:08:59.320
<v Speaker 2>very erratic because of the drugs, and if somebody had

0:08:59.360 --> 0:09:01.360
<v Speaker 2>come up to me and said, hey, I think you

0:09:01.360 --> 0:09:04.960
<v Speaker 2>have an issue, why don't you stop taking those pills,

0:09:05.720 --> 0:09:08.800
<v Speaker 2>it would not have gone well, no, so it really

0:09:08.880 --> 0:09:12.880
<v Speaker 2>had to come from me. Unfortunately for me, it was

0:09:12.920 --> 0:09:16.120
<v Speaker 2>when I started to see not just I was hurting myself,

0:09:16.160 --> 0:09:19.680
<v Speaker 2>but my mum and my brother and those closest to

0:09:19.840 --> 0:09:24.400
<v Speaker 2>me really starting to suffer. Not everyone feels that way

0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:27.320
<v Speaker 2>or gets to that point, but for me, I did.

0:09:27.360 --> 0:09:29.160
<v Speaker 2>And it was the same when I had my anorexia

0:09:29.200 --> 0:09:30.960
<v Speaker 2>and I just thought, no, this is causing too many

0:09:31.040 --> 0:09:34.320
<v Speaker 2>ripples of destruction. I need to get help. And in

0:09:34.320 --> 0:09:36.720
<v Speaker 2>my case, I knew that I couldn't do it on

0:09:36.800 --> 0:09:39.760
<v Speaker 2>my own, so I did end up going to rehab

0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:42.760
<v Speaker 2>and having a lot of people on my medical team

0:09:42.880 --> 0:09:43.679
<v Speaker 2>sort of helping me.

0:09:43.640 --> 0:09:47.240
<v Speaker 1>Out asking for help. That's really the key, there, isn't it. Kirstin,

0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.520
<v Speaker 1>thank you so much for coming on Healthy Ish.

0:09:49.720 --> 0:09:50.520
<v Speaker 2>Thank you for having me.

0:09:55.440 --> 0:09:57.160
<v Speaker 1>Hey, if you want to hear more from Kirstin, you

0:09:57.200 --> 0:09:58.840
<v Speaker 1>can read her in your book. It is called Gutta

0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:01.320
<v Speaker 1>Glitter and it out now. And by the way, if

0:10:01.360 --> 0:10:03.640
<v Speaker 1>someone or someone around you need some help when it

0:10:03.640 --> 0:10:06.679
<v Speaker 1>comes to addiction, please see Lifeline. We will leave a

0:10:06.720 --> 0:10:08.320
<v Speaker 1>link to that in the show notes. Of course, you

0:10:08.320 --> 0:10:11.240
<v Speaker 1>can google Lifeline or call their twenty four to seven

0:10:11.280 --> 0:10:15.360
<v Speaker 1>support line on one three one one one four. If

0:10:15.400 --> 0:10:19.320
<v Speaker 1>you enjoyed this chat, jump on tell us. Yes, you

0:10:19.360 --> 0:10:23.040
<v Speaker 1>can rate and review this episode and subscribe to this podcast.

0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:25.280
<v Speaker 1>Any other info head to body andsoul dot com dot

0:10:25.320 --> 0:10:27.200
<v Speaker 1>you follow us on socials, Grab our print edition which

0:10:27.200 --> 0:10:29.280
<v Speaker 1>is out in your local Sunday paper, and until tomorrow,

0:10:29.480 --> 0:10:36.520
<v Speaker 1>stay healthy Ish