1 00:00:02,040 --> 00:00:03,840 Speaker 1: So I have a question for you. It's a slightly 2 00:00:03,880 --> 00:00:04,560 Speaker 1: intimate one. 3 00:00:05,440 --> 00:00:07,120 Speaker 2: You don't have to answer out loud, and you don't 4 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:08,960 Speaker 2: have to let me know the answer to this question. 5 00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:14,520 Speaker 2: But when did you last kiss your partner? Was it today? 6 00:00:15,440 --> 00:00:17,520 Speaker 2: Was it just now before you put the podcast on? 7 00:00:17,640 --> 00:00:21,079 Speaker 2: Was it last night? Was it this morning? What kind 8 00:00:21,079 --> 00:00:24,200 Speaker 2: of kiss was it? If it was a quick peck 9 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:28,160 Speaker 2: like a hello, I'm home, oh good night? 10 00:00:28,560 --> 00:00:29,560 Speaker 1: Oh okay. I see that. 11 00:00:31,080 --> 00:00:33,440 Speaker 2: You might be missing out on a chance to deposit 12 00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:37,720 Speaker 2: into the magical jar of connection powers that can help 13 00:00:37,760 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 2: the two of you get through the rough patches which 14 00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:45,599 Speaker 2: inevitably occur in any relationship. Because the other day on Wednesday, 15 00:00:45,600 --> 00:00:48,760 Speaker 2: when Linda Mariano was here listening to her talk about 16 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:53,400 Speaker 2: her first kiss, it made me I'm not going to 17 00:00:53,440 --> 00:00:55,680 Speaker 2: say miss it because you can't ever get it back, 18 00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:56,760 Speaker 2: but it. 19 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:58,520 Speaker 1: May be go oh yeah, that's right. 20 00:01:01,480 --> 00:01:04,399 Speaker 2: However, well you can't ever have a first kiss again. 21 00:01:04,640 --> 00:01:07,679 Speaker 2: There is a way to achieve that similar feeling of connection, 22 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:12,440 Speaker 2: a similar rush of hormones, even with a person you've 23 00:01:12,480 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 2: been in a relationship for a long time, with someone 24 00:01:15,040 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 2: I don't know who's been bed fighting their way through 25 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:20,399 Speaker 2: the last ten years of your life together. That's me, 26 00:01:20,600 --> 00:01:23,080 Speaker 2: by the way, as someone who only eats plants, there's 27 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,880 Speaker 2: a lot of legumes, a lot of off gassing, and 28 00:01:25,920 --> 00:01:28,640 Speaker 2: it's usually a note. 29 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:30,920 Speaker 1: But that's what I wanted to share with you today. 30 00:01:31,760 --> 00:01:34,319 Speaker 2: Before the speaking of eating, I've got to keep the 31 00:01:34,319 --> 00:01:36,160 Speaker 2: fridge fall, the lights on, in the mortgage paid. 32 00:01:36,240 --> 00:01:38,200 Speaker 1: So I'm going to play some ads. I'll be right 33 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:43,240 Speaker 1: back after the break. Get a welcome to the show. 34 00:01:43,280 --> 00:01:45,640 Speaker 2: This is better than yesterday, helping you make today better 35 00:01:45,680 --> 00:01:47,640 Speaker 2: than yesterday since twenty thirteen. 36 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:49,000 Speaker 1: My name's Osha Ginsburg. Hello. 37 00:01:49,320 --> 00:01:51,680 Speaker 2: I'm a podcaster. I'm a TV host. I'm a best 38 00:01:51,680 --> 00:01:54,440 Speaker 2: selling author. I'm a husband. I'm a dad, I'm a stepdad. 39 00:01:54,480 --> 00:01:58,120 Speaker 2: I'm a keynote speaker. I'm a coffee bean wayer, I'm 40 00:01:58,160 --> 00:02:01,600 Speaker 2: a cargo bike rider. I'm a TV format creator and 41 00:02:01,640 --> 00:02:04,920 Speaker 2: I'm glad you are here today, speaking of which actually 42 00:02:04,920 --> 00:02:07,880 Speaker 2: workshopping in new TV format with Jeeves Fermo, who's part 43 00:02:07,920 --> 00:02:08,840 Speaker 2: of the NTNN and. 44 00:02:08,720 --> 00:02:09,480 Speaker 1: And N News crew. 45 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:13,119 Speaker 2: We're doing a workshop show this Sunday, six pm in Redfern. 46 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:14,560 Speaker 2: I'll put the link in the show notes. 47 00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:15,119 Speaker 1: It'll be fun. 48 00:02:15,240 --> 00:02:16,760 Speaker 2: Come check it out. Like I did the same thing 49 00:02:16,760 --> 00:02:18,400 Speaker 2: with the news show. I'd love it to come be 50 00:02:18,440 --> 00:02:20,680 Speaker 2: a part of it, you know, and come and see 51 00:02:20,440 --> 00:02:24,400 Speaker 2: the moments of creation, of creating something that could be 52 00:02:24,440 --> 00:02:26,760 Speaker 2: something really big. If not, if you've never seen a 53 00:02:26,760 --> 00:02:28,800 Speaker 2: TV show invented in front of your face, we'll come along. 54 00:02:28,840 --> 00:02:31,120 Speaker 2: It could be funy of cost or anything. And at 55 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,920 Speaker 2: Sunday afternoon, so you can go have dinner afterwards. But 56 00:02:33,919 --> 00:02:36,160 Speaker 2: I'll put the link in the show notes. Look, on Wednesday, 57 00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:40,000 Speaker 2: we had Lynda Mariano here at the house and she 58 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 2: told me the most magical love story that I have 59 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 2: heard in a long time. If you haven't listened to 60 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 2: the episode, it's super special. Oh my goodness. Part of 61 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:52,080 Speaker 2: the show is we talked about the first kiss that 62 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:57,600 Speaker 2: she shared with Magnus, her partner, the father to her 63 00:02:57,680 --> 00:03:00,840 Speaker 2: unborn child, which is the glorious, happy ending to the 64 00:03:01,040 --> 00:03:03,480 Speaker 2: aforementioned love story. I hope you check it out because 65 00:03:03,520 --> 00:03:06,880 Speaker 2: it was just beautiful. But we we're talking about first 66 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:11,040 Speaker 2: kisses because you only get one chance in life to 67 00:03:11,160 --> 00:03:15,399 Speaker 2: kiss somebody for the first time. There will be other kisses. 68 00:03:15,919 --> 00:03:20,320 Speaker 2: They will perhaps be more passionate, less awkward, more healing, 69 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:25,720 Speaker 2: less meaning, but there's only one that will ever feel 70 00:03:25,760 --> 00:03:30,480 Speaker 2: like that first one. And it's a special moment because 71 00:03:30,919 --> 00:03:33,960 Speaker 2: in that moment, you'll either figure out A. Are they 72 00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:37,360 Speaker 2: a good kisser? Do we kiss well together? And B 73 00:03:38,200 --> 00:03:40,200 Speaker 2: is there something going on here that. 74 00:03:40,120 --> 00:03:41,520 Speaker 1: I need more of? 75 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:44,800 Speaker 2: There? Is there something else happening here because I don't 76 00:03:44,840 --> 00:03:48,640 Speaker 2: know that something I've only ever been able to get 77 00:03:48,760 --> 00:03:50,120 Speaker 2: from a kiss with somebody. 78 00:03:51,160 --> 00:03:51,840 Speaker 1: I don't know about you. 79 00:03:51,920 --> 00:03:53,960 Speaker 2: But just just like you can tell a lot about 80 00:03:53,960 --> 00:03:57,000 Speaker 2: a person by I don't know they treat waiters or 81 00:03:57,080 --> 00:03:59,240 Speaker 2: the way they dance, you can tell a lot about 82 00:03:59,240 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 2: someone by the way that they kiss. Think about the 83 00:04:02,880 --> 00:04:06,680 Speaker 2: first kisses that you've had. Some will have been magical, 84 00:04:06,800 --> 00:04:09,640 Speaker 2: some will be so so. Some will have you either 85 00:04:09,680 --> 00:04:13,040 Speaker 2: thinking about how you might be able to delicately reverse 86 00:04:13,080 --> 00:04:16,240 Speaker 2: your way out of the situation without hurting anybody's feelings, 87 00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:20,119 Speaker 2: or alternatively, have you planning the rest of your life 88 00:04:20,160 --> 00:04:23,640 Speaker 2: together or something in between. I've had every one of 89 00:04:23,680 --> 00:04:26,800 Speaker 2: those first kisses and more. I'm sure you have had 90 00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:32,680 Speaker 2: many too. And there's that time that's very precious between 91 00:04:32,720 --> 00:04:36,440 Speaker 2: when you first meet someone that you're into and when 92 00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:40,080 Speaker 2: that first kiss happens. That time is finite. It's it's 93 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:44,360 Speaker 2: ticking clock counting down very quickly, and as that time 94 00:04:44,480 --> 00:04:47,719 Speaker 2: compresses and gets closer and closer to zero, closer and 95 00:04:47,720 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 2: closer to the moment where your lips touch, the sense 96 00:04:50,560 --> 00:04:56,760 Speaker 2: of anticipation can be utterly overwhelming. I mean, I find 97 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:59,480 Speaker 2: it kind of delicious, that sense of anticipation, a bit 98 00:04:59,480 --> 00:05:01,560 Speaker 2: of a rush, and to be honest. 99 00:05:01,279 --> 00:05:03,640 Speaker 1: And order is a bit annoyed that I did. I 100 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:04,800 Speaker 1: tried to prolong it. 101 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,000 Speaker 2: I tried to prolong that time in the you know, 102 00:05:08,360 --> 00:05:10,599 Speaker 2: because I was like, I like this bit a lot. 103 00:05:11,279 --> 00:05:15,320 Speaker 2: I like letting the tension build. But when that moment happens, 104 00:05:15,320 --> 00:05:18,480 Speaker 2: when your lips actually touch, all that tension is released, 105 00:05:18,800 --> 00:05:22,359 Speaker 2: and you're either faced with something that you can build 106 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 2: on or something that you can choose is not really 107 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:26,120 Speaker 2: for you. 108 00:05:26,960 --> 00:05:29,200 Speaker 1: Which is fine. I'm sure people have kissed me and 109 00:05:29,240 --> 00:05:30,400 Speaker 1: found it quite unpleasant. 110 00:05:30,520 --> 00:05:33,159 Speaker 2: That's okay. Different people click in different ways, It's okay. 111 00:05:33,880 --> 00:05:37,560 Speaker 2: Different bodies resonate on different vibrations. Some people work with 112 00:05:37,600 --> 00:05:38,840 Speaker 2: each other, some people don't. 113 00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:39,400 Speaker 1: That's okay. 114 00:05:41,040 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 2: More often than not, the second kiss follows the first 115 00:05:44,160 --> 00:05:48,520 Speaker 2: kiss fairly rapidly, and then you don't really count much more. 116 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:51,559 Speaker 1: After that. You know I've lost count. 117 00:05:52,160 --> 00:05:55,359 Speaker 2: I didn't really count after kiss two, which happened moments 118 00:05:55,360 --> 00:05:57,920 Speaker 2: I have to kiss one, which is a shame, because 119 00:05:57,920 --> 00:06:04,520 Speaker 2: sometimes this moment of intimate and connection, it can become routine. 120 00:06:06,240 --> 00:06:08,960 Speaker 2: If you're in a mature relationship. I'm not talking like 121 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:10,560 Speaker 2: an old personal relationship, but. 122 00:06:10,560 --> 00:06:12,440 Speaker 1: A relationship that's been around for lard and in more. 123 00:06:12,360 --> 00:06:15,720 Speaker 2: Than five years or so, let's say, it can become 124 00:06:16,360 --> 00:06:20,600 Speaker 2: akin to a handshake. I have certainly been in relationships 125 00:06:20,600 --> 00:06:23,080 Speaker 2: where it has become that, where it's become kind of habitual, 126 00:06:23,839 --> 00:06:25,720 Speaker 2: it doesn't have any of the meaning or emotion and 127 00:06:25,720 --> 00:06:29,320 Speaker 2: connected to it at all, which is, you know, I 128 00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:33,120 Speaker 2: have just as much responsibility for that as anybody else. So, 129 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:36,719 Speaker 2: if like me, you were thinking about first kisses the 130 00:06:36,720 --> 00:06:39,760 Speaker 2: other day and you want to re experience that feeling, 131 00:06:39,960 --> 00:06:43,159 Speaker 2: that moment that Linda was talking about, you are in 132 00:06:43,279 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 2: luck and you don't even have to kiss anybody else 133 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:48,800 Speaker 2: that isn't already either married to you or in a 134 00:06:48,839 --> 00:06:51,680 Speaker 2: committed relationship with you. It turns out there is there 135 00:06:51,720 --> 00:06:54,440 Speaker 2: is a way to regain at least some of that 136 00:06:54,720 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 2: flood of hormones and that overwhelm of delicious intimacy if 137 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:03,400 Speaker 2: you've been with your partner for some time, because in 138 00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:06,560 Speaker 2: a mature relationship, you know, there's some things that when 139 00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:07,280 Speaker 2: you were first. 140 00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:08,960 Speaker 1: Dating, they don't really count anymore. 141 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,040 Speaker 2: I mean, like I'm talking the kind of relationship where 142 00:07:11,720 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 2: you know, you leave most of your pajamazon when you 143 00:07:13,760 --> 00:07:16,200 Speaker 2: have sex, not because it's kind of nasty sexy. Let's 144 00:07:16,240 --> 00:07:18,520 Speaker 2: fuck up, you know, get god fuck care, Like I 145 00:07:18,520 --> 00:07:20,480 Speaker 2: can't wait advancause, leak the clothes on. 146 00:07:20,480 --> 00:07:22,640 Speaker 1: There's no time. No, it's just like I don't want 147 00:07:22,680 --> 00:07:23,240 Speaker 1: to get cold. 148 00:07:23,560 --> 00:07:27,280 Speaker 2: Work around this, you know, hurry up the ad brakes on, 149 00:07:28,920 --> 00:07:30,520 Speaker 2: like that kind of mature relationship. 150 00:07:30,560 --> 00:07:32,000 Speaker 1: I'm sure you know what. I'm sure you know what 151 00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,040 Speaker 1: I'm talking about. And if you're not, I hate to breast. 152 00:07:33,840 --> 00:07:36,280 Speaker 2: Your bubble mate, but it's coming for you. It comes 153 00:07:36,280 --> 00:07:39,720 Speaker 2: for all of us. So here's what I have been 154 00:07:39,760 --> 00:07:44,600 Speaker 2: taught by a psychologist who taught me this. The next 155 00:07:44,640 --> 00:07:48,560 Speaker 2: time you kiss your partner, kiss them for at least 156 00:07:48,880 --> 00:07:55,400 Speaker 2: six seconds. It's barely any time when you think about it, 157 00:07:55,440 --> 00:07:58,640 Speaker 2: but it is also a lot longer than you think. 158 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 2: Cologists that taught me this, Basically, she was educating me 159 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,720 Speaker 2: on ways to get my hormone levels back up to 160 00:08:05,800 --> 00:08:09,680 Speaker 2: a normal space after Oh, you know, I'd been on 161 00:08:09,720 --> 00:08:11,960 Speaker 2: certain meds and you know, the celiac diagnosis and things 162 00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,240 Speaker 2: like that, where we were trying to do everything we 163 00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:15,880 Speaker 2: could stimulate the hormone relation in my body. You know. 164 00:08:15,920 --> 00:08:18,240 Speaker 1: That included deadlifts to help release the. 165 00:08:18,240 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 2: Testosterone and things like that, the intense exercise to get 166 00:08:21,520 --> 00:08:24,280 Speaker 2: the serotonin and then orpenephron and the dope meat and things, 167 00:08:24,800 --> 00:08:29,040 Speaker 2: and for the oxytocin. She told me kiss Audrey for 168 00:08:29,200 --> 00:08:30,640 Speaker 2: at least six seconds. 169 00:08:31,760 --> 00:08:32,720 Speaker 1: There's signs behind it. 170 00:08:32,800 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 2: You know. For some people it's shorter, for other people 171 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:39,360 Speaker 2: it's longer. However, the research shows that a six second 172 00:08:39,400 --> 00:08:43,040 Speaker 2: kiss is long enough to trigger those hormonal changes that 173 00:08:43,080 --> 00:08:47,040 Speaker 2: you can get when you're mindfully connecting with your partner. 174 00:08:47,760 --> 00:08:49,600 Speaker 1: Because let's be honest, if. 175 00:08:49,520 --> 00:08:51,080 Speaker 2: You've been together for a long time, you might be 176 00:08:51,120 --> 00:08:53,280 Speaker 2: thinking about, oh my god, did they remember to take 177 00:08:53,320 --> 00:08:56,080 Speaker 2: the bins out between seconds one and two. But if 178 00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 2: you're still kissing by seconds five and six, those hormones 179 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:00,120 Speaker 2: have taken over. 180 00:09:00,200 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 1: And all you can really think about is this is 181 00:09:02,520 --> 00:09:03,160 Speaker 1: really nice. 182 00:09:04,080 --> 00:09:06,040 Speaker 2: Six seconds is also good because it's not so long 183 00:09:06,080 --> 00:09:08,880 Speaker 2: that it kind of become awkward or uncomfortable. But look, 184 00:09:08,920 --> 00:09:10,760 Speaker 2: you know, if you're in the room with your kids, 185 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 2: doesn't matter how long it's going to be the good eh, 186 00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:17,080 Speaker 2: stop it, that's going to happen every time. So the 187 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:18,840 Speaker 2: hormones that get released when your kiss for that long 188 00:09:18,880 --> 00:09:23,280 Speaker 2: include oxytocin, which is the love hormone that gives you 189 00:09:23,320 --> 00:09:26,200 Speaker 2: the feeling of being bonded to somebody, the feeling of trust, 190 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:30,600 Speaker 2: the feeling of connection with another person. With your intimate partner, 191 00:09:31,160 --> 00:09:33,960 Speaker 2: you also get a nice dose of dopamine, which is 192 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,880 Speaker 2: lovely because that's the well, that's the feel good hormone 193 00:09:37,880 --> 00:09:41,040 Speaker 2: that the social media apps used in tiny little amounts 194 00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:44,040 Speaker 2: to push us into unhealthy habit loops in search of 195 00:09:44,080 --> 00:09:47,120 Speaker 2: more of it. Dopamine is essentially the molecule of more. 196 00:09:47,320 --> 00:09:49,840 Speaker 2: If I have my water bottle here for me to 197 00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,640 Speaker 2: reach down pick it up, to make my arm move, 198 00:09:53,040 --> 00:09:56,800 Speaker 2: dopamine had to be a part of the neural transaction 199 00:09:57,040 --> 00:09:59,280 Speaker 2: between making the idea happen in my brain and the 200 00:09:59,320 --> 00:09:59,920 Speaker 2: muscles move. 201 00:10:00,040 --> 00:10:05,359 Speaker 1: Now, I'm thirsty, hand you don't mean. That's really fascinating. 202 00:10:06,080 --> 00:10:08,360 Speaker 2: The thing about don't mean is that don't mean makes 203 00:10:08,400 --> 00:10:10,679 Speaker 2: us want more of stuff, which is good because more 204 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,880 Speaker 2: kissing means we want more kissing, and that's nice. 205 00:10:14,679 --> 00:10:17,480 Speaker 1: We're very simple animals, we really are. Now. 206 00:10:17,520 --> 00:10:20,040 Speaker 2: Both of those things help reduce another hormone called cortisol, 207 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 2: which you may know is your stress hormone. Because there's 208 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 2: often a relaxation response your breathing changes. It can also 209 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,280 Speaker 2: lower your blood pressure, even though that may seem counterintuitive, 210 00:10:30,600 --> 00:10:33,559 Speaker 2: but yes, it can happen. Every time you have one 211 00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:36,280 Speaker 2: of those six second kisses the two of you. This 212 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:38,600 Speaker 2: is the other really important thing. The two of you 213 00:10:38,720 --> 00:10:43,840 Speaker 2: are making a deposit in the super fund of your 214 00:10:43,960 --> 00:10:46,920 Speaker 2: relationship that you will draw on when you really need it. 215 00:10:47,679 --> 00:10:51,319 Speaker 2: For example, when I don't know, when Audrey just starts 216 00:10:51,320 --> 00:10:54,080 Speaker 2: walking around the house with a tape measure and I'm like, 217 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:58,360 Speaker 2: hang on, what you know, Or when I have once 218 00:10:58,400 --> 00:11:00,920 Speaker 2: again forgotten to turn off the tap outside and the 219 00:11:00,920 --> 00:11:03,640 Speaker 2: outdoor garden shower has been dripping all might just wasting 220 00:11:03,679 --> 00:11:04,400 Speaker 2: water even. 221 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:06,080 Speaker 1: Though I've been told to turn it off at the nighttime. 222 00:11:07,559 --> 00:11:11,160 Speaker 2: We can draw down on that super love superfund that 223 00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,959 Speaker 2: we've been depositing in with these kisses, and we can 224 00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,600 Speaker 2: use our investment in our relationship and draw down on 225 00:11:18,640 --> 00:11:22,120 Speaker 2: that to get kind of to more quickly get to 226 00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:25,560 Speaker 2: a place of forgiveness or acceptance or empathy or all three. 227 00:11:26,960 --> 00:11:28,360 Speaker 2: I do want to tell you a little bit about 228 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,120 Speaker 2: my first kiss with ordering all of them, but a 229 00:11:30,120 --> 00:11:32,120 Speaker 2: little bit that I am going to need to play 230 00:11:32,160 --> 00:11:35,440 Speaker 2: some ads here, so I'll be right back after this break. 231 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,080 Speaker 2: So we're talking about kisses and my first kiss with Audrey. 232 00:11:43,120 --> 00:11:45,959 Speaker 2: As I mentioned to you, I prolonged the amount of time. 233 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:46,240 Speaker 1: That it took. 234 00:11:46,240 --> 00:11:49,720 Speaker 2: We actually went on a coffee date a few days before, 235 00:11:49,760 --> 00:11:51,240 Speaker 2: I think earlier in the week. I think she came 236 00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:52,840 Speaker 2: out of my house on a weekend to put me dinner, 237 00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,040 Speaker 2: which is the night the first kiss happened. But a 238 00:11:55,040 --> 00:11:56,920 Speaker 2: few days before, we went on a coffee date and 239 00:11:57,160 --> 00:11:59,400 Speaker 2: I took some photos. We're watching the whales swim by, 240 00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:03,760 Speaker 2: said south Bonde, and she's pretty much sitting in my lap, 241 00:12:04,160 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 2: you know, but I'm not kissing her. 242 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: She was a bit annoyed by that, which is funny. 243 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:15,080 Speaker 2: But I can't tell you that the moment we did 244 00:12:15,160 --> 00:12:18,640 Speaker 2: kiss for the first time. And bear in mind, this 245 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,360 Speaker 2: was a number of weeks after we had first met, 246 00:12:21,400 --> 00:12:23,680 Speaker 2: and a number of occasions after seeing each other for 247 00:12:23,720 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 2: things like that coffee eight. The slingshot had drawn back 248 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:32,240 Speaker 2: pretty far, all right. And when we did finally kiss 249 00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 2: on my sofa in Bondeau, in the apartment that I 250 00:12:35,360 --> 00:12:38,520 Speaker 2: was renting while I worked here for this job. When 251 00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:41,640 Speaker 2: we did finally kiss, I knew that a. Audrey was 252 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,880 Speaker 2: indeed an exceptional kisser, and we kissed well together, and 253 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 2: b that there was something more interesting going on with 254 00:12:48,760 --> 00:12:50,920 Speaker 2: her than I could have ever imagined, and I really 255 00:12:50,920 --> 00:12:52,440 Speaker 2: wanted to get to know her a whole lot better. 256 00:12:52,640 --> 00:12:57,439 Speaker 2: I've got that all from the way that she kissed me. Now, 257 00:12:57,480 --> 00:13:01,760 Speaker 2: we cannot go back in time and kiss for the 258 00:13:01,800 --> 00:13:02,920 Speaker 2: first time ever again. 259 00:13:03,040 --> 00:13:03,840 Speaker 1: We are not sure. 260 00:13:04,080 --> 00:13:06,360 Speaker 2: We cannot turn back time, and we cannot find a way. 261 00:13:06,440 --> 00:13:08,480 Speaker 2: We cannot go back and kiss for the first time 262 00:13:08,559 --> 00:13:13,360 Speaker 2: ever again. But Audrey and I do have six second kisses, 263 00:13:13,400 --> 00:13:16,559 Speaker 2: and when we do, they are pretty fantastic. I'm not 264 00:13:16,600 --> 00:13:18,920 Speaker 2: gonna lie. Since Wolf you've been born, there's been less 265 00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,640 Speaker 2: of them, and I should. I'm telling you this now 266 00:13:20,640 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 2: because I'm like, I really need to do that more, 267 00:13:23,880 --> 00:13:26,439 Speaker 2: and I would encourage you to less of them. 268 00:13:26,440 --> 00:13:28,000 Speaker 1: By me. It's like like that never happened. 269 00:13:28,040 --> 00:13:33,000 Speaker 2: Man. You know, it's important to do these things deliberately, 270 00:13:33,080 --> 00:13:36,000 Speaker 2: I think, and i'd encourage you to also try to 271 00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,360 Speaker 2: make a habit of it, because it's what I want 272 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 2: to do. Particularly if you're in that mature relationship habit 273 00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,880 Speaker 2: loop and there's kids around and stuff like that. 274 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,040 Speaker 1: And all that stuff is important. 275 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:45,840 Speaker 2: It's important to be in that kind of more mature 276 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:49,520 Speaker 2: relationship loop where you're not so on guard and you're 277 00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:53,720 Speaker 2: a lot more comfortable around each other. Yet without awareness 278 00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:59,440 Speaker 2: and without maintenance, any relationship can eventually succumb to entropy. 279 00:13:59,559 --> 00:14:05,480 Speaker 2: So you do have to be careful, So take the time. 280 00:14:06,120 --> 00:14:08,760 Speaker 1: You're probably going to want to warn them about it. 281 00:14:08,920 --> 00:14:10,880 Speaker 2: Because they, you know, if you've not kissed them for 282 00:14:11,400 --> 00:14:15,040 Speaker 2: that amount of time before or outside of any other 283 00:14:15,120 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 2: kind of you know, you know, situation, that doesn't really 284 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,480 Speaker 2: make sense. They might be thinking, I have time for 285 00:14:21,520 --> 00:14:23,440 Speaker 2: this now, I'm taking out of recycling. Then I've got 286 00:14:23,440 --> 00:14:25,160 Speaker 2: a work call. What's gotten into you when I have 287 00:14:25,240 --> 00:14:27,920 Speaker 2: time for this? Like, no, no, no, no, it's just a 288 00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:31,200 Speaker 2: kiss right now. It's only six seconds. Six seconds is 289 00:14:31,200 --> 00:14:33,880 Speaker 2: not a lot amount of time. Six seconds is I 290 00:14:33,920 --> 00:14:36,400 Speaker 2: don't know, it's not even the amount of time that 291 00:14:36,800 --> 00:14:40,000 Speaker 2: Highway to Hell goes before the drums kick in. All right, 292 00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:44,160 Speaker 2: you could start and finish your pash while the late 293 00:14:44,240 --> 00:14:47,560 Speaker 2: great Malcolm Young's left hand is delivering its openings alvo 294 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,680 Speaker 2: before Phil Raud the drummer kicks in with one of 295 00:14:50,720 --> 00:14:53,440 Speaker 2: the greatest beats in music. I mean, hang on, there's 296 00:14:53,440 --> 00:14:56,640 Speaker 2: a guitar, the acoustic version of Bear in mind, And 297 00:14:56,720 --> 00:14:57,560 Speaker 2: I'm not Malcolm Young. 298 00:14:57,720 --> 00:15:01,560 Speaker 1: So you start kissing and what is it? Oh, that's right, 299 00:15:02,560 --> 00:15:03,080 Speaker 1: that's right. 300 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:09,840 Speaker 2: That's six seconds before you before you even get to that, 301 00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:10,240 Speaker 2: that's it. 302 00:15:10,280 --> 00:15:11,120 Speaker 1: That's six seconds. 303 00:15:11,800 --> 00:15:14,360 Speaker 2: So well, and if you decide a second kiss is 304 00:15:14,400 --> 00:15:16,800 Speaker 2: in order and high to hell is I mean, that's 305 00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:18,280 Speaker 2: a pretty good song to carry on with. I mean, 306 00:15:18,320 --> 00:15:21,160 Speaker 2: the tempo is just about right for whatever comes to 307 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,720 Speaker 2: that sounded way dirty and then I wanted to do but. 308 00:15:26,360 --> 00:15:28,320 Speaker 1: There's old Tina in every ACDC song. 309 00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:32,000 Speaker 2: I probably shouldn't have tried to do an impression of 310 00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:34,800 Speaker 2: the Malcolm Young because Malcolm Young's left hand is one 311 00:15:34,800 --> 00:15:35,840 Speaker 2: of the greatest things in. 312 00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:36,600 Speaker 1: All of music. 313 00:15:36,760 --> 00:15:39,600 Speaker 2: All right, I do not have Malcolm Young's left hand, 314 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,200 Speaker 2: and he's passed away now, so no one will ever 315 00:15:41,200 --> 00:15:42,320 Speaker 2: have Malcolm Young's left hand. 316 00:15:42,320 --> 00:15:45,640 Speaker 1: But I've wanted to show you. 317 00:15:45,800 --> 00:15:47,600 Speaker 2: That's six seconds and not a lot of time, but 318 00:15:47,640 --> 00:15:50,280 Speaker 2: it can say it can be amazing for you, and 319 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 2: I can't wait. You've got to tell me if you 320 00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:53,960 Speaker 2: do this, and tell me how you do it for 321 00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:56,760 Speaker 2: a week and let me know how it goes. Happy kissing, 322 00:15:57,680 --> 00:16:01,760 Speaker 2: happy kissing, Enjoy. I'll see you back here on Monday. 323 00:16:03,680 --> 00:16:05,640 Speaker 2: This episode was brought to you by Adie Maher on 324 00:16:05,680 --> 00:16:08,880 Speaker 2: audio post production, Mikey Ward on video post production to High. 325 00:16:08,760 --> 00:16:11,040 Speaker 1: And made all the music. My producer is Bree Steel. 326 00:16:11,080 --> 00:16:15,520 Speaker 2: My executive function assistant is Monica Chapman for every episode ever, 327 00:16:15,640 --> 00:16:17,360 Speaker 2: all the way back to twenty thirteen. To get on 328 00:16:17,360 --> 00:16:19,760 Speaker 2: the mailing list or to get in touch and tell 329 00:16:19,800 --> 00:16:22,320 Speaker 2: me about your kisses, there's a contact form and all 330 00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:24,240 Speaker 2: of the above at Oshroaginsberg dot com. 331 00:16:24,240 --> 00:16:27,360 Speaker 1: That's oshro Ginsburg dot com. It's also in the show notes. 332 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 1: Thanks for listening.