Speaker 1: The Chrissy Swan Show, Good Afternoon.
Speaker 2: We often say Tuesday's the worst day of the week
Speaker 2: on this show. Swanny and I don't love it, but
Speaker 2: how can you not when Jamie Oliver is stopping by it.
Speaker 2: We're going to play a round of lies Google has
Speaker 2: told me with him. There's a lot of made up
Speaker 2: stuff about that dude on the Internet. We're also going
Speaker 2: to ask you for your thoughts on bringing kids to work.
Speaker 3: Like.
Speaker 2: I don't know about you, but I'm not thrilled when
Speaker 2: I see little rug rats running around the office.
Speaker 4: The Christy Swan Show.
Speaker 2: Jamie Oliver has a new book out, Simply Jamie, just
Speaker 2: in time for Christmas.
Speaker 3: We're thrilled to welcome Jamie Oliver to our show.
Speaker 5: Now to be this is a brand news segment called
Speaker 5: lies Google has told Me.
Speaker 1: Lies.
Speaker 4: Google has told.
Speaker 5: Me These are all things that I have found about you,
Speaker 5: and I am guessing most of them are untrue. But
Speaker 5: let's seem me Oliver. Do you hate past nips?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 6: I quite like past nips.
Speaker 3: Google sis, Google says you.
Speaker 6: Really, I grow past nips for the love of God.
Speaker 6: I wouldn't grow them if I hated them.
Speaker 3: So great?
Speaker 4: Is this true?
Speaker 3: Jamie Oliver cannot draw for the life of him.
Speaker 6: I think being able to draw is possibly subjective. Like,
Speaker 6: I mean, most of my childhood was spent during phallic
Speaker 6: you know, phallic thing and I'm very good at that,
Speaker 6: male and female. But no, I mean I spent a
Speaker 6: lot of my life drawing, and then I show it
Speaker 6: to an illustrator or an artist and say something like that. Okay,
Speaker 6: I don't know how to answer that.
Speaker 3: Jamie Oliver loves playing the drums. True, Okay, there you go.
Speaker 3: We've got one.
Speaker 5: Jamie Oliver has a d I y tattoo.
Speaker 6: No, that's not true.
Speaker 3: Oh I got the detail on this one.
Speaker 6: You are on my On my thirtieth birthday, I think,
Speaker 6: or maybe it was my four No, on my fortieth birthday,
Speaker 6: I was on a radio show and they said, like,
Speaker 6: you're going to have any midlife crisis, and I said,
Speaker 6: I'll probably get a tattoo. And then somehow we ended
Speaker 6: up doing like a national competition to work out what
Speaker 6: to have tattooed on me, and the winner of the
Speaker 6: tattoo was to have Aldente tattooed on my penis. Thank
Speaker 6: you very much for that. I didn't get it done.
Speaker 6: I mean it was a good idea. I get it's
Speaker 6: quite creative, but no, I am currently tattoo loss.
Speaker 5: I mean I am wincing at the idea of the
Speaker 5: Italian phrase for to the tooth or to the teeth on.
Speaker 6: Your There's gonna be a load of Australian Italians going,
Speaker 6: that's a really good idea.
Speaker 7: All right.
Speaker 5: Next one, you love karaoke and if you had your way,
Speaker 5: you would have a karaoke machine in every room of
Speaker 5: your house.
Speaker 6: No, that's my wife. I hate karaoke. It's disgusting and
Speaker 6: it ruins nights.
Speaker 3: You love marmite?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 3: Do you like begjamite? Do you love vegamite? Might?
Speaker 6: Of course I do.
Speaker 5: And you constantly set off your home fire alarm and
Speaker 5: you owe your local fire brigade a heap of cash.
Speaker 6: I probably will send them a box of wine this.
Speaker 8: Yeah.
Speaker 6: I have a very good fire system in my house,
Speaker 6: which is quite old, and they have been called out
Speaker 6: one too many times, sometimes because of fireplaces that have
Speaker 6: kind of you know, set themselves on fire like rockets,
Speaker 6: and sometimes because I've burnt wait for it toast, imagine, imagine,
Speaker 6: I literally I I it went off, and once it's
Speaker 6: gone off. You're pressing all the buttons to get it off,
Speaker 6: but then it goes through and then like four minutes
Speaker 6: like whoo, that's Jamie Oliver. What happened. I'm like, I
Speaker 6: burnt toast and I'm so sorry I've wasted your time.
Speaker 6: But yeah, embarrassing.
Speaker 3: Sorry about that, Jamie.
Speaker 5: That concludes our round of lies at Google has told
Speaker 5: me thank you so much for your time today.
Speaker 3: Everybody go out.
Speaker 5: You get Jamie's book. It is a cracker. I am
Speaker 5: staring right now at a recipe for baked bolonnaise pancakes.
Speaker 3: I mean bolonnaise and pancakes.
Speaker 6: No more.
Speaker 3: I'll wait.
Speaker 6: You got a child and yucky one.
Speaker 2: And Jamie, we've got to quickly mention your new show
Speaker 2: on Channel ten this Friday night, seven point thirty. It's
Speaker 2: called Jamie Fast and Simple.
Speaker 6: Yes, that accompanies the book. And this is my attempt
Speaker 6: to grab you lovely Aussies and not just you know,
Speaker 6: show you, but like, you know, get you inspired about
Speaker 6: really simple cooking. I want ozzies to go. I can
Speaker 6: do this, Thanks again, Jamie. All right, guys, lots of love,
Speaker 6: thanks for having me.
Speaker 4: The Christy Swan.
Speaker 5: Show at Price, Signed Pharmacy They're all about keeping you
Speaker 5: son safe. The best thing you can do to protect
Speaker 5: yourself from harmful UV rays and Premiseu're aging sunscreen every day.
Speaker 1: Head online or in store to shop now at price.
Speaker 4: Sign the Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 1: Hey, what are your thoughts on bringing kids to work?
Speaker 5: We've consulted Reddit hmm and one of the top trending
Speaker 5: stories in that particular, Nest of Vipers, is very simple
Speaker 5: statement that says, work is having to bring your kids
Speaker 5: to work day and then there's no question.
Speaker 3: There's no question. It's just go forth and discuss it.
Speaker 3: And you and I said, Jack, we don't think that
Speaker 3: they're a good idea, Absolutely not. I do not care.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I don't see the point of having them here.
Speaker 5: I've got three of my own, so I like, I
Speaker 5: know how to deal with children.
Speaker 2: I come to work, not to deal with children, and
Speaker 2: to be you and see your friends in your community.
Speaker 1: Right and work.
Speaker 3: It's a very different thing.
Speaker 5: I mean, I just read an article on the weekend
Speaker 5: about maintaining your mental health. You need a stopper between
Speaker 5: each role that you have and when you've got it.
Speaker 5: When you're a mother, you need a little buffer of time.
Speaker 5: Half an hour for you to recalibrate and be your
Speaker 5: next person.
Speaker 3: Worker or whatever.
Speaker 1: Thirteen twenty four to ten. Does your workplace do a
Speaker 1: bring kids to work day?
Speaker 3: Now? I don't think they do that here at.
Speaker 2: No, We've done something to be fair, because I get
Speaker 2: if your parent works at Nova. It's pretty cool to
Speaker 2: be in a radio station, or know that your parents
Speaker 2: work at a radio station. So I know Nova's done
Speaker 2: something before where they do a bring your family to
Speaker 2: the office from fort or six or fort or seven
Speaker 2: and they put on drinks and the kids run around
Speaker 2: and get to see the studios. That I'm okay with
Speaker 2: because it's after the workday.
Speaker 3: Babysitter or something, sure, come, but not a whole day.
Speaker 3: Dedicate how many children would be here.
Speaker 1: It would be awful. I feel the same about pets.
Speaker 3: In what way?
Speaker 2: Do not bring your dog to the office? Do not
Speaker 2: bring your dog to work? You might think it's cute
Speaker 2: no one.
Speaker 3: Else does, But what if they just sit under the.
Speaker 1: I don't care how long's a piece of string, then
Speaker 1: every Joe, Dick, and Harry are going to want to
Speaker 1: bring their dogs in. And I don't want to Kelpie
Speaker 1: running under my legs while I'm trying to make my
Speaker 1: skinny latte. The coffee Machelle fakes.
Speaker 3: I think you choose like you wouldn't go if you
Speaker 3: had a kelpie, you wouldn't bring them.
Speaker 1: But have you met people Murphy could come here?
Speaker 5: I have thirteen twenty four ten. I mean, we have
Speaker 5: a guy that we know.
Speaker 3: That we work with here. Yes, who told a story
Speaker 3: didn't happen here at nover, happened at a different workplace
Speaker 3: where it was bring your kid to work day and
Speaker 3: one of the kids went and filled up everybody's water
Speaker 3: bottle with cooking salt.
Speaker 1: And put salt water in the water bottle, Like, that's
Speaker 1: not okay.
Speaker 4: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show, we're asking
Speaker 4: you this.
Speaker 5: Having a whole day where everyone brings their kids to
Speaker 5: work sounds like fresh hell to me. I actually love
Speaker 5: it when there's a couple of kids, it's like.
Speaker 3: Oh, fresh blood.
Speaker 2: And I appreciate that because as a parent, if your
Speaker 2: kid's sick and you're a single parent or dad's working,
Speaker 2: it's the only option and you've still got to come
Speaker 2: to work.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that I'm cool with.
Speaker 5: And if there's somebody that you love, like you know,
Speaker 5: in the in the sales team or whatever, and you
Speaker 5: suddenly see their kids unlike and who is this?
Speaker 3: I just get so excited.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to meet Jackie Bristow's son and see the
Speaker 1: connection between the two.
Speaker 3: I was thinking about.
Speaker 1: It same, that's fine. It's when there's like eighty kids
Speaker 1: one hundred.
Speaker 3: Can you imagine how many kids would be here?
Speaker 1: I just couldn't.
Speaker 2: Thirteen twenty four to ten does your workplace door bring
Speaker 2: your kids to work day?
Speaker 3: Christine? No, I would never do it again.
Speaker 9: I took my son to work in an office and
Speaker 9: he actually trusted.
Speaker 3: Okay, tell us everything.
Speaker 5: Was it an organized day or you just couldn't find
Speaker 5: anywhere else to give put it?
Speaker 9: It was an organized day, but there was only a
Speaker 9: few little kids, and I was doing as though were.
Speaker 3: Told, except mine.
Speaker 4: Hershed.
Speaker 3: He trashed the whole office, was running in out of
Speaker 3: my manager's office, but actually left work early. How old
Speaker 3: was your kid at the time, two and a half.
Speaker 1: What did your other colleagues think, Christine? Was your manager married?
Speaker 3: I had no control.
Speaker 1: And Christine defeated.
Speaker 3: Was he always like that or did he just really
Speaker 3: turn it on because he knew what it meant to you?
Speaker 3: He was just bored and he turned it on Christine.
Speaker 3: How old is he now?
Speaker 6: Seventeen?
Speaker 3: And I still told him about it.
Speaker 1: Price Pharmacy voucher for you, Christine, Not just like.
Speaker 3: It happened yesterday to Christine trauma high tam Hi, Hi,
Speaker 3: So your hobby's work? Does this?
Speaker 1: Yes?
Speaker 3: Okay?
Speaker 10: Where you get to bring the kids in for a
Speaker 10: big mining company?
Speaker 3: And is it organized? Like is there stuff to do?
Speaker 4: Right?
Speaker 9: Yeah, it's fully organized.
Speaker 8: It's very funny.
Speaker 3: And oh my god, there's virtual reality there.
Speaker 8: Did they get to look into the mines and things
Speaker 8: like that?
Speaker 3: Which is really cool?
Speaker 1: That is cool? So's cool.
Speaker 3: Yeah, hang on a minute, just before we give it,
Speaker 3: just before we give this the greens the green light,
Speaker 3: tam is everybody else at work on that same day?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so it's a.
Speaker 10: Week day and they have to register their children and
Speaker 10: bring them in.
Speaker 5: All right, okay, we'll allow it. I'm changing my mind,
Speaker 5: that's saying that's really cool.
Speaker 1: Priceline Pharmacy voucher for you, tam Hi Kelsey.
Speaker 9: Hello, Chrissy and Jack. I don't know if I want
Speaker 9: to talk to you.
Speaker 1: Why what have I said? What have I said? Today?
Speaker 9: I've literally got my two dogs sitting at my feet
Speaker 9: right now?
Speaker 5: What sort of dogs though, because Jack earlier said that,
Speaker 5: you know, kids are not allowed at work, and either
Speaker 5: are dogs.
Speaker 3: Yuck.
Speaker 1: Joe crazy will hate you for saying that to us.
Speaker 9: Yeah, yeah, I understand because if the other people's dogs,
Speaker 9: I don't want them here either.
Speaker 1: But minor Okay, See, this is the thing. It's when
Speaker 1: it's yours, it's okay. What kind of dogs do you have?
Speaker 9: They're rescue dogs, so we don't really know what's in them.
Speaker 9: One's a hunt away. No, they're beautiful, they're so well behaved.
Speaker 9: They're amazing. But I can't even have a wee break
Speaker 9: they follow me everywhere.
Speaker 3: And how many other people are in your office?
Speaker 9: Oh, there's a fair few of us. There's twenty twenty odds.
Speaker 9: But there is literally at least a dog in the
Speaker 9: office at least once a week.
Speaker 3: And do you think that there is I reckon.
Speaker 5: There is definitely someone in your office, and you will
Speaker 5: be a once you think about it, Kelsey, you'll know
Speaker 5: who they are. There will be someone that is like
Speaker 5: Jack that absolutely hates your dog there, but it hasn't
Speaker 5: said anything.
Speaker 9: And that's the one that my dog went and pood
Speaker 9: in their office.
Speaker 4: Okay, the Chrissy's One show.
Speaker 1: It's time for this.
Speaker 4: Chrissy's Clique.
Speaker 3: You know when you see something on social media and
Speaker 3: you go, oh my god, I feel seen, but also
Speaker 3: I'm insufferable. Does that ever happen to you?
Speaker 2: Yes, when I see people flogging their holidays hardcore, I'm like, oh,
Speaker 2: we get it, And I'm like Jack that is literally
Speaker 2: you on every trip you go on.
Speaker 3: And then talk about holding up a mirror.
Speaker 1: That's correct.
Speaker 5: I you know, the algorithms on those things are so incredible.
Speaker 5: They deliver exactly what you need to see when you
Speaker 5: need to see it. And I, as you know, I
Speaker 5: love eighties and nineties music, right.
Speaker 3: I love all music.
Speaker 1: I was going to say, You've got a wealth of
Speaker 1: knowledge about music.
Speaker 3: I love it and that's why I'm working at the
Speaker 3: radio station. Is like manner from heaven for me.
Speaker 5: But you know that every time a new song comes
Speaker 5: on and I hear something in it that I recognize,
Speaker 5: I bore you, Jacky with the like with a deep
Speaker 5: dive into where the samples from?
Speaker 3: Who did it?
Speaker 5: I've done it with Lato, I've done it with everybody.
Speaker 5: I've done it with Eminem's Abra cadabra. That's a Steve millerban.
Speaker 1: You did it.
Speaker 2: A couple of days ago, tom our producer came in
Speaker 2: and said, oh, I love this new Katy Perry song.
Speaker 2: How vibe is it is? And you go, that's Crystal Waters. Yes,
Speaker 2: that's why it's vibe.
Speaker 5: It's a good song because it was originally a good song.
Speaker 5: GC woman, Where is Crystal Waters? That's what I want
Speaker 5: to know.
Speaker 1: I don't even know much about it.
Speaker 5: Whenever I say stuff like that, I find out that
Speaker 5: they died a very bad death, and then I feel bad.
Speaker 5: But have a listen to this woman in America cutting
Speaker 5: down her son who likes.
Speaker 3: The new kid LaRoy song, like, who is that she's
Speaker 3: tricking in here?
Speaker 1: That's not the original? This is the original?
Speaker 3: Yes, hear that?
Speaker 1: That's she says it like you as well? You hear that?
Speaker 3: And she loves them.
Speaker 5: Into a false sense of security, going oh, I like
Speaker 5: this song to you, and she knows exactly where it's going.
Speaker 5: I want to add something to that. Player, the lead
Speaker 5: singer of player, who is the older song there is?
Speaker 5: I think Rod Moss who played Ridge Forester on on
Speaker 5: Bold and the Beautiful, So I believe that. I mean, look,
Speaker 5: I'll google in a song. But you know, if not cool,
Speaker 5: you know, I'm just gonna I'm going to back myself in. Now,
Speaker 5: let's move on to this unbelievable case of mistaken identity.
Speaker 5: I saw the headline and had to click on it.
Speaker 5: My sister is seeing a married man, and I got
Speaker 5: attacked because of her. Of course I had to read on.
Speaker 5: This is a set of identical twins. The good twin
Speaker 5: that was coming out of university. The bad twin is
Speaker 5: sleeping with a married man. The good twin was mistaken
Speaker 5: as the twin that was doing the dirty.
Speaker 1: How furious you would be at your sister.
Speaker 5: And the wife of the husband fully went her Wow,
Speaker 5: I know.
Speaker 1: Like hair pulling in a car park. That's so Miraca.
Speaker 3: It's so America.
Speaker 5: The thing is, though I don't reckon, that's the first
Speaker 5: time I reckon. There is a bad that the bad
Speaker 5: twin has done that many many times, and this poor
Speaker 5: good twin has just had to deal with it. It's
Speaker 5: very awkward and confuse when you suffer a case of
Speaker 5: mistaken identity.
Speaker 1: I've never experienced it, have you?
Speaker 3: I have? I used to go to a restaurant every
Speaker 3: single week locally to my mum. He shouted, dinner right.
Speaker 5: Yeah, that was my active forgiveness for moving out and
Speaker 5: becoming a grown up. Anyway, they're always very nice to me,
Speaker 5: and then all of a sudden they weren't very hostile.
Speaker 3: God, this is odd.
Speaker 5: After about three or four weeks of coming in and
Speaker 5: then being so rude to me, eventually the owner of
Speaker 5: the restaurant couldn't hold his tongue anymore, and he said, well, oh,
Speaker 5: it's okay for you to keep on coming back here
Speaker 5: and eating pastor, isn't it when you're calling up the
Speaker 5: local radio station saying that our food a hygiene practices
Speaker 5: are tror?
Speaker 3: Yes, I went, what are you talking about?
Speaker 1: I'm on the radio, mate, I don't call them.
Speaker 5: This was before that, This was before oh really, yes, yes,
Speaker 5: this was just when I was a student and they
Speaker 5: thought for some reason that I was the whistleblower.
Speaker 1: And did they like profusely apologize to you.
Speaker 5: No, they did not, and I think they. I still
Speaker 5: believe it's me because I walk past that restaurant every
Speaker 5: single day and they still give me dirties. It's been
Speaker 5: thirty years.
Speaker 1: Speaking of mistaken Identity Delta wats.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, I'm mistaken.
Speaker 5: Can I tell you a very underrated track off that album? Yeah,
Speaker 5: very underrated track Mistaken Identity.
Speaker 1: I don't know how good. And your favorite mistaken Identity?
Speaker 3: My favorite is by the great Kim Kats mistake dirty.
Speaker 5: Oh yeah, she didn't just see Betty Davis eyes my friends,
Speaker 5: ha ha.
Speaker 3: This is the.
Speaker 4: Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 2: Good afternoon. How's your Tuesday going. We don't love them
Speaker 2: on this show, but I'm having a good one. It's
Speaker 2: fun and we've got a really fun hour planned for
Speaker 2: you as well. On thirteen twenty four to ten, we're
Speaker 2: going to be asking you if your parents nearly killed you,
Speaker 2: like by accident. We're not going all dark and true crime.
Speaker 2: Swannye had an incident with her son Kit that could
Speaker 2: have ended pretty badly. But next, our good pal and
Speaker 2: the King of the Cravat, Matt Preston, is joining us
Speaker 2: in studio.
Speaker 1: We're going to play a game called Substitute with him.
Speaker 2: And the reason I love this game is because it's
Speaker 2: an excuse to make Chrissy Swan sing. She claims she
Speaker 2: can't sing, but she can. She has a beautiful voice.
Speaker 4: The Chrissy Swan Show, The Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 2: And we always love it when this man is in
Speaker 2: the studio. The king of the cravat, Matt Preston is
Speaker 2: here to play a game.
Speaker 3: We're giving.
Speaker 5: We're playing around of substitute with you, which, of course
Speaker 5: was made famous on sticks and specs. Yes, do you
Speaker 5: know how it works? Okay, so I know.
Speaker 7: That's the who? Is that the who?
Speaker 3: Yes, I was.
Speaker 5: Born with the plastics, born in mating.
Speaker 3: You were born with a plastic spoon in your mouth, William,
Speaker 3: I wasorn mouth.
Speaker 5: Okay, So substitute works like this for the uninitiated.
Speaker 2: Swanny is gonna seen three well known songs that you
Speaker 2: should know, mat, but she's going to be substituting the
Speaker 2: lyrics with words from a random book.
Speaker 1: What is the book, Swany?
Speaker 3: I have brought in a book from home. It is
Speaker 3: the chronicle of crime, infamous felons of modern history, and
Speaker 3: they're hideous crime.
Speaker 1: Alrighty, let's go Swaney.
Speaker 3: On January seven, a nineteen year old Jane Roberts, a
Speaker 3: house made to mister and Missus Greenwood of Harpurry, was hurt, screaming.
Speaker 3: Mister Greenwood was out at the time, Missus Greenwood found
Speaker 3: the girl dead from a crushing blow to the back
Speaker 3: of her head.
Speaker 7: To distracting story.
Speaker 3: She thinks that two men made a rapper escape. There
Speaker 3: were no footprints nowhere.
Speaker 7: That is. That is I'm a Belief by.
Speaker 5: Smash Mouth, originally by the Monkeys The Monkeys, originally written by.
Speaker 7: I could tell you were doing the smash Mouth version
Speaker 7: as we are playing right now. That's how good you're
Speaker 7: singing beautifully.
Speaker 1: Song swany and what a story.
Speaker 3: I'm a Believer originally written by Neil Diamond.
Speaker 1: Of course, song number two, let's go.
Speaker 3: That was from eighteen eighty guys. That story alright, you ready?
Speaker 3: The next one is this neurosurgeon Sam Shepherd of Babe
Speaker 3: You Hospital, Cleveland, Ohio gaba din a party last June.
Speaker 3: Before the guest left, Sam fell asleep on the cold,
Speaker 3: leaving his wife Marylyn to see them all to the
Speaker 3: door after midnight too.
Speaker 7: Yes, everybody's doing a brand newness. Come on and do
Speaker 7: the local.
Speaker 4: Yes, a brand new dance. Now.
Speaker 3: Oh, we were just getting juicy, doctor Shepherd, who sounded distraught,
Speaker 3: saying I think they've got Marilyn. That's from nineteen fifty four.
Speaker 1: That case already one more song swany song three?
Speaker 3: Okay, all right, okay, I hope you're on Speaks of Space.
Speaker 7: You're very good at this week.
Speaker 1: She's not. And we brought it up with me for
Speaker 1: he wasn't Christy Swan, I've never been ever ever?
Speaker 7: Why not?
Speaker 3: I think I'm not cool enough.
Speaker 2: Maybe I'm going to I'm going to have a word.
Speaker 7: Please, don't we love Christy Oka?
Speaker 3: Are you ready?
Speaker 7: Speaking?
Speaker 3: On behalf of the chief of tangle Trail starting with
Speaker 3: a gold top walk and stick case and proceeding through
Speaker 3: a prostitute rum, has led twenty two year old Alexander
Speaker 3: Scottie Mason's to conviction for murder. In the evening of
Speaker 3: May nine, two men struggled in Petree Road in Brixton, Missouri.
Speaker 7: And I've got it and it's it's oh, I'm I'm, I'm,
Speaker 7: I'm no.
Speaker 3: No no shots rang out. One man fell, another jumped
Speaker 3: over a wall.
Speaker 1: Matt can't get it, Tina Turner. So you didn't get that?
Speaker 3: Did you get to them?
Speaker 7: To me?
Speaker 3: The best bit, Look who knows the best bit, of
Speaker 3: course is is this case in the Brixton taxi cake
Speaker 3: that is seventeen eighty.
Speaker 7: Five that is very good. She carries a fine tune.
Speaker 1: She does.
Speaker 7: You get the tune, then then it's it's me letting
Speaker 7: down Chrissy. It's not Chrissy letting down the sun.
Speaker 3: And then we've covered at all in this.
Speaker 5: In these chats, we've covered air fryers, Neil Diamond, Carli
Speaker 5: Me and Ogan of course Tina Turner, thank you so
Speaker 5: much for joining us.
Speaker 2: Matt Preston, joyous, thank you, and don following that on
Speaker 2: Instagram at Matt's cravat. If you want some air fraying.
Speaker 7: Hack tip lots of stuff and taste dot com do
Speaker 7: you there as well the ones I've done with them?
Speaker 7: You love those recipes.
Speaker 4: I love that Chrissy Swan show.
Speaker 5: When has your parent, inadvertently, accidentally but with good intentions.
Speaker 3: Tried to kill you?
Speaker 5: And I asked this question without fear or favor, because
Speaker 5: turns out I tried to kill my son on the
Speaker 5: plane home from Bali.
Speaker 3: What did you buy? A mistake?
Speaker 5: So, Kit, my middle son is allergic to shellfish, yes,
Speaker 5: and as is like he was diagnosed with it four
Speaker 5: years ago and then we never went anywhere without an
Speaker 5: EpiPen and blah blah blah. As things happen, you know,
Speaker 5: four years in we never remember the EpiPen. No, you know,
Speaker 5: we'll do a cursory question if we're asked at a
Speaker 5: restaurant other than the allergens, and we go know, and
Speaker 5: then we go.
Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, that's right.
Speaker 5: You'll die if you explore that's right. Yeah, yeah, no,
Speaker 5: I do remember that.
Speaker 7: I get it.
Speaker 2: When you're so far away from the incident where you
Speaker 2: found out that this is an issue, Yeah, it kind
Speaker 2: of just doesn't seem that serious anymore, that's right.
Speaker 5: So we've hit complacency anywhere. We're in on the plane
Speaker 5: on the way home, and there was a choice of meal, right,
Speaker 5: there was a chicken gull and gal or something like
Speaker 5: a chicken curry or a spinach ravioli. Anyway, kid was
Speaker 5: in the sheeet behind me, right. So I like to
Speaker 5: overhear my children interacting with strangers. I really love it
Speaker 5: so much because I want to know if they can
Speaker 5: do it.
Speaker 1: Did I raise them? Right? Yeah?
Speaker 8: Yeah?
Speaker 5: Does he make sense? Is he like looking at them
Speaker 5: in the aisle all that stuff? And he is chef's
Speaker 5: kiss anyway, So he's having a chat with the flight
Speaker 5: attendant and I hear him say and I was so impressed.
Speaker 5: I hear him say, I like the sound of the chicken,
Speaker 5: but would it have any shellfish in it?
Speaker 1: He asked.
Speaker 5: Good, I know because he must have known that I
Speaker 5: didn't have his sippy pen and he was ten thousand
Speaker 5: feet in the air.
Speaker 1: And he doesn't want to die today.
Speaker 3: He doesn't want to die today. No, so he's asked her.
Speaker 3: She said, I'll go and check. She came back.
Speaker 5: And then by that stage, I'm reading a book and
Speaker 5: I didn't hear the answer, but I'm guessing chicken curry.
Speaker 3: There's no shellfish in it. Good on him for asking. Anyway,
Speaker 3: the meals come. I had ordered the chicken curry. He
Speaker 3: had ordered the ravioli, and he said to me, I'm
Speaker 3: trying the ravioli. I said, oh, that looks great. Anyway,
Speaker 3: the chicken was really, really good, and I love to
Speaker 3: share everything with my kids, so I had a few mouthfuls,
Speaker 3: and then I said to him, no, I said to him,
Speaker 3: do you want some of this? I finished, and it's good.
Speaker 7: You'll love it.
Speaker 5: He goes, yeah, great, I hand it over to it.
Speaker 5: He puts a huge.
Speaker 3: Mouthful in his mouth, and then he looks at me
Speaker 3: and he goes how.
Speaker 1: The curry was shellfish in it?
Speaker 3: And I went, no, anyway, he spits it out. He goes,
Speaker 3: it's got shrimp paste in it. You're trying to kill me?
Speaker 1: Oh did you die?
Speaker 3: I couldn't believe it. I mean I nearly died, but
Speaker 3: he actually nearly died.
Speaker 2: Yes, and did the air hostess is or anyone else
Speaker 2: around you?
Speaker 5: Nobody panicked, nobody called, you know, docs or whatever. And
Speaker 5: it turns out that he didn't. There was no reaction
Speaker 5: action at all, like I thought, oh, maybe, yes, nothing,
Speaker 5: absolutely nothing, So I don't even think there was shrimp
Speaker 5: paste in it. Or maybe he's not anaphylactic.
Speaker 1: After all. He was really turning it up that last Christmas.
Speaker 3: But you know what, if something had happened, that would.
Speaker 5: Would have been absolutely out of my like, that was
Speaker 5: not my intention.
Speaker 1: Dying on a plane is grim, very grim. Have your
Speaker 1: parents accidentally tried to kill you? We're going to take
Speaker 1: your calls next.
Speaker 3: My friend who grew.
Speaker 5: Up in the seventies diagnosed asthmatic with two chain smoking parents.
Speaker 4: It's like a Hello the Chrissy Swan Show.
Speaker 5: We're talking about all those amazing, fun fun times in
Speaker 5: childhood when your parents accidentally tried to kill you. I mean,
Speaker 5: you know, I grew up in a dangerous time jack
Speaker 5: in the seventies. There were sometimes no seat belts. You
Speaker 5: were sleeping in the back, you know, like it was.
Speaker 3: It was risky.
Speaker 1: Is there something that sticks out to you with your parents?
Speaker 5: Yeah, So my dad made a go kart, right, So
Speaker 5: my dad the major, He's had many incarnations, but right
Speaker 5: at the beginning of it.
Speaker 3: He's a mechanic. So he was an army mechanic, so
Speaker 3: he knows how to build and everything with cars, everything.
Speaker 7: Aggressive.
Speaker 5: Man, he's a very impressive man and wonderful, wonderful brain. Anyway,
Speaker 5: for fun on a weekend, I would have been five.
Speaker 5: Do you know how small a five year old is?
Speaker 1: Tiny?
Speaker 5: Tiny, like little bird bones. He built me a go
Speaker 5: kart with an actual engine out of just two pieces
Speaker 5: of black and a fruit box. And it was doing
Speaker 5: maybe sixty kilometers down a vertigenous court on Ashfeldt.
Speaker 3: And if I had like pulled the weird little steering
Speaker 3: wheel on pulleys one inch to the left, I would
Speaker 3: have been absolutely flattened by it.
Speaker 5: Well, I would have been thrown into a tree. Yeah,
Speaker 5: like that is there was no helmet, no seatbelt, nothing,
Speaker 5: just going for it, just me on a plank of
Speaker 5: wood with an engine.
Speaker 1: I remember being five and on Fraser Island with my
Speaker 1: dad and my uncle Chris, and we were four wheel
Speaker 1: driving and there were a few times I remember watching
Speaker 1: their faces and the car was about to flip. And
Speaker 1: I'm just in the back at five or six, too
Speaker 1: scared to speak, being like, do you guys care that
Speaker 1: you're about to kill me? Like it's fun for you.
Speaker 5: She would have been the smallest like person.
Speaker 2: I just wanted to listen to my adulta good room
Speaker 2: discman back in the hotel.
Speaker 1: When did your parents accidentally try to kill you?
Speaker 3: Natasha? Do we need to put you on watch or something? Here?
Speaker 3: What's going on?
Speaker 10: I think you need to put my mum.
Speaker 3: On what what's she doing?
Speaker 10: So I'm an adult, and as an adult, my mom
Speaker 10: tried to kill me because she bought me a voucher
Speaker 10: for dolphins.
Speaker 3: Oh that that sounds amazing, but.
Speaker 10: I can't think. So I opened it up on Christmas
Speaker 10: Day and read the her and thought, wow, this is
Speaker 10: really nice. And my husband sort of looked at me,
Speaker 10: and I looked at him and I said, but mummy
Speaker 10: realized I can't. I can't win, so, you know, and
Speaker 10: we didn't even see dolphins on the day that we
Speaker 10: went out on the boat.
Speaker 9: He was just a bit of a flop.
Speaker 4: Really.
Speaker 5: Maybe she was just hoping that they would be those
Speaker 5: clever trained dolphins that can like pick rolls and stuff.
Speaker 2: They just pull free World Priceline Pharmacy voucher for you, Natasha.
Speaker 5: If he jumped in and just sunk like a stone.
Speaker 3: Hi, Christy hijack, Now what did your dad get up to?
Speaker 5: Oh?
Speaker 8: Look, you know, he was a typical handy man and
Speaker 8: always doing something around the house. And I was only
Speaker 8: a teenager at the time. But he was working on
Speaker 8: a metal fence, like he was doing some welding, and
Speaker 8: he calls me over because you know, I'm always happy
Speaker 8: to help, and he goes, oh, can you just call
Speaker 8: these two bits together? And then I wasn't even thinking,
Speaker 8: and I don't even know if he was thinking either,
Speaker 8: And I've got no gloves on or anything. And He's
Speaker 8: happen away with a world or and every time the
Speaker 8: shock and I'm to say, what's going on? You know?
Speaker 8: So I still to this day, you don't know whether
Speaker 8: he did it.
Speaker 5: I don't think I don't think he meant to electrify you.
Speaker 2: Also, the idea that you're standing there still holding on too, going,
Speaker 2: what's going on?
Speaker 1: You poor thing? Priceline pharmacy voucher for you, Leone.
Speaker 5: And I don't think you realized the power and fury
Speaker 5: of a nineteen seventies dad.
Speaker 3: Jack.
Speaker 5: No, I wouldn't specifically a nineteen seventies or eighties dad.
Speaker 5: They were so quick to lose their temper with you
Speaker 5: right that I would have done exactly what Leone did.
Speaker 5: My hands could have been on fire, and I'm like,
Speaker 5: I can't let my dad know because he's angry.
Speaker 3: Seventies dad.
Speaker 1: Hi?
Speaker 3: Beck, Hi? What happened when your mum was driving you
Speaker 3: to dance class?
Speaker 2: Oh?
Speaker 8: So, yeah, she was really distracted. I don't know that
Speaker 8: she realized where she was going. She turned down a
Speaker 8: one way street and we ended up having a head
Speaker 8: on collision with another car.
Speaker 3: Oh my god, beg, that's very serious.
Speaker 8: Yeah, I know, but we're all okay. But I did
Speaker 8: get some whiplash on the day.
Speaker 5: Did she say to you, like most mums do, Beck,
Speaker 5: why didn't you tell me it was a one way street?
Speaker 3: It was always our fault, you.
Speaker 9: Know, yeah, and a few swear words.
Speaker 5: I bet my god, the Chrissy Swan Show, Let's do
Speaker 5: this Chrissy's clique fait. Parli Minogue says she hates adulting
Speaker 5: and she misses everything about the freedom of the nineties.
Speaker 3: I love when people say that they miss the nineties.
Speaker 3: I don't think I do. I prefer it now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, You've always been honest about it.
Speaker 3: I like Google, I like Instagram.
Speaker 1: You love a scroll, yep.
Speaker 3: But I'm not very interesting.
Speaker 5: I think if you're an interesting person, you would prefer that, because,
Speaker 5: like Kylie, I'm sure gets up to no good sometimes.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and you get away with it.
Speaker 3: That's right. I've got nothing to get away with.
Speaker 5: She has said that she was out and about pan
Speaker 5: the pavement, going to markets doing all.
Speaker 3: I mean, she sounds very boring, like me markets.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 5: She said that going out to nightclubs and stuff and
Speaker 5: nothing was recorded, and she misses that. Gwyneth Paltrow said
Speaker 5: a very similar thing last week. She's also said she's
Speaker 5: sick of adulting.
Speaker 2: But you're Kylie Mino, how much like I love her?
Speaker 2: But mate, how much adulting are you doing? You don't
Speaker 2: have kids, you don't you have management you have.
Speaker 1: I'm sure a great pa, bro.
Speaker 7: I know.
Speaker 2: Like it's like, imagine if I came into you each
Speaker 2: day and said, oh, Swan, I'm so over adulting. I
Speaker 2: would never do that because I know how much adulting
Speaker 2: you actually do and how much how little adulting I do.
Speaker 5: I do wonder when was the last time she scrubbed
Speaker 5: krusty snot off the light switch?
Speaker 1: That is so disgusting. I just can't believe you have
Speaker 1: to do that. I'm so sorry. Oh yeah, that is
Speaker 1: so vile.
Speaker 3: That was like the nicest thing I could think of
Speaker 3: that I've done in the last twenty four hours.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 3: I wonder. I wonder when was the last time Kylie
Speaker 3: Twitter fifteen year old to clean a toilet?
Speaker 6: Never?
Speaker 1: Because she's kindly anogue man, I'm sorry for your life.
Speaker 5: If she misses adulting, I miss minoguing. I would love that,
Speaker 5: but you know, everyone's entitled their opinion.
Speaker 3: She also did this. You'll get this.
Speaker 5: You're too young now, but you will get there. People
Speaker 5: will say, what advice would you give to your younger self?
Speaker 1: I hate that question so much, samee, because I don't
Speaker 1: know what I tell my younger self.
Speaker 3: Well, because you already you're still young.
Speaker 5: You get to my age. I just I used to
Speaker 5: answer it. Now I go, oh, I hate that question,
Speaker 5: and can we just not do it?
Speaker 1: Also, I just don't think that's what life's about. No,
Speaker 1: And also you've lived it. Yeah, go away with you
Speaker 1: stupid question.
Speaker 5: Go away with your stupid question, or I'll make you
Speaker 5: claim it's not off the light switch.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 5: Next, this is a story that I have been wanting
Speaker 5: to talk to you about you with forever.
Speaker 3: Okay, but I keep forgetting. But I'm doing it. Now
Speaker 3: do it. A woman in Western Australia has faked her
Speaker 3: own death. What Yeah, and it's the best story.
Speaker 5: She owned an F forty five gym and it wasn't
Speaker 5: doing well, and then she bought another one and that
Speaker 5: was even worse.
Speaker 1: No, I don't think they're doing too well those franchises.
Speaker 3: Well, she had two of them. Her name is Karen
Speaker 3: Maurice Sliver, and she has gone to jail. I couldn't
Speaker 3: pronounce the sert a side. She's gone to jail jack for.
Speaker 1: Faking her own death. Yes, how did she fake it?
Speaker 1: What did she say happened?
Speaker 5: She created fake documents and then she said she died
Speaker 5: in a car accident in twenty twenty three in Broom.
Speaker 5: I love that she was specific with the location. I'm
Speaker 5: just fascinated with this sort of stuff because I'm sure
Speaker 5: I'm not the only one that's gone. Like when things
Speaker 5: are tough, you go, yeah, I wonder if I could
Speaker 5: just disappear all well to take The answer is it's
Speaker 5: not worth it because you get found out. The bank
Speaker 5: got suspicious of her new identity. Right, she got seven
Speaker 5: hundred grand paid to her by.
Speaker 3: The insurance company.
Speaker 1: When she died.
Speaker 2: When she died, and did they just think that was
Speaker 2: going to a family member or something.
Speaker 5: She lodged it via her husband. I mean, she did
Speaker 5: pretty good job for an amateur.
Speaker 3: Anyway.
Speaker 5: The bank was like, hang on, there's something going on
Speaker 5: with this account. They froze it, and then she turned
Speaker 5: up grave error, don't do this if you're planning on it.
Speaker 5: Turned up to the police station to like, you know,
Speaker 5: get her identity happening so that she could get the
Speaker 5: funds unfrozen.
Speaker 3: And they said just wait here a minute. No, not
Speaker 3: worth it. The Chrissy Swan Show is a Nova podcast.
Speaker 5: For more great comedy shows like this, head to novapodcast
Speaker 5: dot com.
Speaker 4: Are you