1
00:00:05,921 --> 00:00:13,361
Speaker 1: Appolgie production a easier advice. Are you okay? What happened?

2
00:00:14,001 --> 00:00:16,641
Speaker 1: Promise it won't be too much? Bring it in.

3
00:00:17,921 --> 00:00:19,720
Speaker 2: Welcome to our Bestie segment.

4
00:00:25,201 --> 00:00:28,121
Speaker 1: This is the place for you. Hello, everybody, Welcome back

5
00:00:28,161 --> 00:00:31,561
Speaker 1: to she Rises. Another best advice, and this one the

6
00:00:32,120 --> 00:00:35,281
Speaker 1: woman has written in a very short paragraph. But there's

7
00:00:35,281 --> 00:00:37,121
Speaker 1: a lot we've got to say about it, absolutely, and

8
00:00:37,161 --> 00:00:39,521
Speaker 1: we feel this is a topic that everyone can benefit from,

9
00:00:39,561 --> 00:00:41,481
Speaker 1: we can all improve on, and we love talking about

10
00:00:41,480 --> 00:00:44,401
Speaker 1: it because communication is very important to us. It is alrighty.

11
00:00:44,480 --> 00:00:48,361
Speaker 1: So today's anonymous submission says, how to hold space better

12
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:51,640
Speaker 1: for a partner or friendship or family member. How can

13
00:00:51,681 --> 00:00:55,321
Speaker 1: I support someone but actually make sure they feel supported?

14
00:00:56,200 --> 00:00:57,801
Speaker 1: Take it away t This is a big question.

15
00:00:57,801 --> 00:01:00,280
Speaker 2: It is the first thing that comes to mind is

16
00:01:00,401 --> 00:01:03,401
Speaker 2: just get better at listening, you know, just and sometimes

17
00:01:03,401 --> 00:01:06,001
Speaker 2: it's really easy to interject in conversations or want to

18
00:01:06,041 --> 00:01:08,721
Speaker 2: put your two cents all that sort of a bad

19
00:01:08,761 --> 00:01:12,041
Speaker 2: conversation about this day. But I remember I used to

20
00:01:12,041 --> 00:01:13,560
Speaker 2: do that all the time. I used to interject all

21
00:01:13,601 --> 00:01:15,281
Speaker 2: the time and put my opinion, and sometimes people just

22
00:01:15,321 --> 00:01:17,440
Speaker 2: want you to listen to them. And so holding space

23
00:01:17,521 --> 00:01:20,840
Speaker 2: really is about holding back, letting them get everything out

24
00:01:20,881 --> 00:01:23,121
Speaker 2: that they want to say, and then coming in with

25
00:01:23,161 --> 00:01:25,280
Speaker 2: like your advice or support or checking in and seeing

26
00:01:25,280 --> 00:01:27,360
Speaker 2: what they're needing. So that's the first thing that I

27
00:01:27,360 --> 00:01:30,161
Speaker 2: would say is just try and get better at listening,

28
00:01:30,560 --> 00:01:33,401
Speaker 2: and you'll find that, you know that person will feel

29
00:01:33,441 --> 00:01:35,961
Speaker 2: so heard by you because you're actually sitting, you're holding space.

30
00:01:36,041 --> 00:01:38,881
Speaker 2: You're not listening to respond, you're listening to listen. Yeah.

31
00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,841
Speaker 1: The first thing that comes to me too is actually

32
00:01:41,241 --> 00:01:43,321
Speaker 1: asking them what they need from you in that moment. Yes,

33
00:01:43,401 --> 00:01:45,720
Speaker 1: do you want support? Do you want advice? Are you

34
00:01:45,801 --> 00:01:47,921
Speaker 1: needing to vent? Let me know how I can support you.

35
00:01:48,521 --> 00:01:51,081
Speaker 1: And it not only gives you clarity on how you

36
00:01:51,121 --> 00:01:54,441
Speaker 1: can support them, but it makes them feel comfortable. It

37
00:01:54,481 --> 00:01:56,241
Speaker 1: helps them get clear on what they actually need in

38
00:01:56,281 --> 00:01:58,601
Speaker 1: that moment. Because even last night I went, for example,

39
00:01:58,601 --> 00:02:00,361
Speaker 1: I went to Steve for some something related to a

40
00:02:00,481 --> 00:02:03,201
Speaker 1: project that we're doing, and he straight over into fixing

41
00:02:03,241 --> 00:02:05,321
Speaker 1: mode and I said, Babe, I'm going to interrupt you here.

42
00:02:05,841 --> 00:02:08,201
Speaker 1: I don't need solutions. We've got it, we've figured it out.

43
00:02:08,281 --> 00:02:10,441
Speaker 1: I just needed you to hold the space and just

44
00:02:10,721 --> 00:02:12,761
Speaker 1: be there for me. He's like, oh shit, sorry, I

45
00:02:12,921 --> 00:02:14,960
Speaker 1: just deal with this at work all the time. With Hideaway,

46
00:02:15,281 --> 00:02:17,481
Speaker 1: I just came up with solutions straight away. But I

47
00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:19,121
Speaker 1: needed to get better at telling him. I should have

48
00:02:19,121 --> 00:02:20,521
Speaker 1: said at the start, Hey, I just needs you to

49
00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:22,961
Speaker 1: hold space to me right now and just listen. I

50
00:02:22,960 --> 00:02:25,321
Speaker 1: don't need a solution. So it's like both getting better

51
00:02:25,361 --> 00:02:27,721
Speaker 1: at communicating what you need in that moment. Yeah. Soon.

52
00:02:27,761 --> 00:02:29,520
Speaker 1: If someone does that, it's like, oh, I can listen.

53
00:02:29,761 --> 00:02:31,561
Speaker 2: Yeah they want my advice, because then it prevents you

54
00:02:31,601 --> 00:02:33,841
Speaker 2: from getting upset as well from being like, oh, well

55
00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:35,721
Speaker 2: they didn't hold me in the way that I needed

56
00:02:35,721 --> 00:02:37,961
Speaker 2: them to. It's like, did you communicate that. It's like

57
00:02:38,041 --> 00:02:39,761
Speaker 2: practicing doing that is a really good one.

58
00:02:39,841 --> 00:02:42,720
Speaker 1: I think energetically to your body language is really important.

59
00:02:42,841 --> 00:02:45,680
Speaker 1: A lot of eye contact, arms down, not arms folded,

60
00:02:46,001 --> 00:02:48,561
Speaker 1: relaxed shoulders because it allows them to breathe and just

61
00:02:48,601 --> 00:02:49,800
Speaker 1: be in the moment with you as well.

62
00:02:49,881 --> 00:02:52,921
Speaker 2: Yeah, like you actually engage your listening on your phone.

63
00:02:53,321 --> 00:02:55,081
Speaker 2: You're not texting while they're talking to you.

64
00:02:55,161 --> 00:02:56,240
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's going distracted.

65
00:02:56,361 --> 00:02:58,761
Speaker 2: Hold on, let me just answer this call real quick. Yeah,

66
00:02:59,001 --> 00:03:01,201
Speaker 2: read the room and make sure that if it's a

67
00:03:01,201 --> 00:03:04,001
Speaker 2: big topic for that person and it's scary and it's vulnerable.

68
00:03:04,081 --> 00:03:06,121
Speaker 2: You're giving them your under attention.

69
00:03:06,121 --> 00:03:08,041
Speaker 1: And pausing I think is really important. This is something

70
00:03:08,041 --> 00:03:10,761
Speaker 1: I've learn from Megsie actually in a workshop too. But

71
00:03:10,841 --> 00:03:13,561
Speaker 1: when you're holding space for a woman or for whoever,

72
00:03:14,041 --> 00:03:17,761
Speaker 1: energetically having your palms open and allowing the pause after

73
00:03:17,761 --> 00:03:21,961
Speaker 1: they've spoken, because sometimes more can come up and you

74
00:03:22,081 --> 00:03:24,440
Speaker 1: just allow that space. There is no rush to respond

75
00:03:24,520 --> 00:03:26,441
Speaker 1: or to jump in, but just allowing a bit of pause.

76
00:03:26,800 --> 00:03:29,441
Speaker 1: And sometimes that pause also allows emotions to come up,

77
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,401
Speaker 1: so if then they need to further cry, you can

78
00:03:31,441 --> 00:03:34,681
Speaker 1: hold more space and give them more time. Because most people,

79
00:03:35,041 --> 00:03:36,761
Speaker 1: they don't have a lot of people in their circle

80
00:03:36,761 --> 00:03:39,441
Speaker 1: that are holding space for them and really holding space.

81
00:03:39,761 --> 00:03:42,001
Speaker 1: I bet we could name five people in our immediate

82
00:03:42,041 --> 00:03:44,961
Speaker 1: close circle that just want to jump in, give advice, fix,

83
00:03:45,321 --> 00:03:47,401
Speaker 1: help take your pain away. There's not a lot of

84
00:03:47,441 --> 00:03:49,881
Speaker 1: people I know that can really hold space. Well, is

85
00:03:49,921 --> 00:03:52,241
Speaker 1: it really is about slowing down and just being with them?

86
00:03:52,441 --> 00:03:54,721
Speaker 2: Yeah, it is, And you'll get better at it for

87
00:03:54,801 --> 00:03:57,401
Speaker 2: other people, and then you'll know what you want from

88
00:03:57,401 --> 00:03:58,241
Speaker 2: other people as well.

89
00:03:58,281 --> 00:03:58,921
Speaker 1: Yeah, do you know what I mean?

90
00:03:59,001 --> 00:04:00,641
Speaker 2: You can start to do that for other people and

91
00:04:00,681 --> 00:04:02,561
Speaker 2: they will get an idea of what that might look like,

92
00:04:02,601 --> 00:04:04,801
Speaker 2: and then they might start mirroring you in that behavior too,

93
00:04:05,321 --> 00:04:06,801
Speaker 2: and then you can ask them, hey, like can you

94
00:04:06,801 --> 00:04:07,801
Speaker 2: hold space for me now?

95
00:04:07,961 --> 00:04:11,081
Speaker 1: So it's just trial and error. Really, it's practice.

96
00:04:11,161 --> 00:04:14,561
Speaker 2: It's practice doing it, practice holding back your opinions and

97
00:04:14,641 --> 00:04:16,961
Speaker 2: letting people share what it is they want to share.

98
00:04:17,081 --> 00:04:19,241
Speaker 2: Like what you said pausing, that's a really good tip.

99
00:04:19,841 --> 00:04:21,081
Speaker 2: But yeah, I think that's wait.

100
00:04:20,961 --> 00:04:22,681
Speaker 1: A moment the other day too, even you came to

101
00:04:22,721 --> 00:04:24,281
Speaker 1: me about something that was happening. We're not going to

102
00:04:24,320 --> 00:04:26,201
Speaker 1: detail what it was because it doesn't matter for this

103
00:04:26,241 --> 00:04:30,001
Speaker 1: particular subject. I'll probably tell you about it later coming out. No,

104
00:04:30,121 --> 00:04:33,520
Speaker 1: but when Tiana was telling me, I'm very protective of Tiana.

105
00:04:33,561 --> 00:04:35,481
Speaker 1: So when she tells me something's going on and someone

106
00:04:35,521 --> 00:04:38,121
Speaker 1: has maybe done something or said something, or she's in

107
00:04:38,161 --> 00:04:41,121
Speaker 1: a pickle, I do go into my rescuer archetype and

108
00:04:41,201 --> 00:04:42,641
Speaker 1: my fixer and I just want to protect her and

109
00:04:42,681 --> 00:04:45,481
Speaker 1: make sure she's safe. And she's like hey, And afterwards,

110
00:04:45,481 --> 00:04:47,921
Speaker 1: when we left that conversation, I called her and I

111
00:04:47,961 --> 00:04:50,161
Speaker 1: was like, fuck, I'm so sorry. I think I just

112
00:04:50,201 --> 00:04:52,561
Speaker 1: like talked your eart off and injected my opinion, my

113
00:04:52,601 --> 00:04:55,121
Speaker 1: thoughts when you didn't actually ask for that, And straight

114
00:04:55,161 --> 00:04:58,401
Speaker 1: away Tianna said, well, I can get better at telling

115
00:04:58,440 --> 00:05:00,161
Speaker 1: you what I need so I can say, hey, I

116
00:05:00,201 --> 00:05:01,961
Speaker 1: want you to listen, or hey I want advice. What

117
00:05:01,961 --> 00:05:04,440
Speaker 1: do you think? So it's both of us been like, oh, okay,

118
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:06,361
Speaker 1: we can see how, oh we could do that better

119
00:05:06,481 --> 00:05:08,401
Speaker 1: for sure, I said, I really want to get better

120
00:05:08,561 --> 00:05:10,881
Speaker 1: at just listening. And I know it's a fault of mine,

121
00:05:10,921 --> 00:05:12,080
Speaker 1: and I know a lot of people in the past

122
00:05:12,161 --> 00:05:14,481
Speaker 1: have found that too much. We're true sagittarian and we

123
00:05:14,561 --> 00:05:16,481
Speaker 1: have no filter and we will tell you how it is.

124
00:05:16,521 --> 00:05:19,921
Speaker 1: We don't sugarcoat things. But that's not necessarily a good thing.

125
00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:21,801
Speaker 2: But you know what in saying that, like when we

126
00:05:21,841 --> 00:05:23,961
Speaker 2: had that conversation, you brought that to me. I didn't

127
00:05:24,001 --> 00:05:25,921
Speaker 2: feel like you interjected, you know what I mean. I

128
00:05:25,921 --> 00:05:27,961
Speaker 2: didn't feel like what you were sharing with me wasn't

129
00:05:28,001 --> 00:05:30,761
Speaker 2: what I wanted to hear. Like for me in that moment,

130
00:05:30,801 --> 00:05:32,281
Speaker 2: I felt open to what it was that you were

131
00:05:32,281 --> 00:05:34,481
Speaker 2: sharing with me, and like for me, it felt like

132
00:05:34,481 --> 00:05:36,880
Speaker 2: we were just having a conversation, going back and forth. Yeah,

133
00:05:36,961 --> 00:05:39,281
Speaker 2: you know, but because you were mindful of that behavior

134
00:05:39,361 --> 00:05:41,001
Speaker 2: like oh, I want to do better at this. But

135
00:05:41,081 --> 00:05:43,561
Speaker 2: on the receiving end, it wasn't like I was coming

136
00:05:43,561 --> 00:05:45,281
Speaker 2: to you being like, hey, I just want event, I

137
00:05:45,401 --> 00:05:47,080
Speaker 2: just need you to listen, and then I got disappointed

138
00:05:47,121 --> 00:05:49,481
Speaker 2: by it, yeahing like that. It was just like a

139
00:05:49,481 --> 00:05:50,880
Speaker 2: conversation that we got to have together.

140
00:05:50,961 --> 00:05:52,440
Speaker 1: It's probably because we have a lot of safety in

141
00:05:52,440 --> 00:05:54,361
Speaker 1: our relationship that we know whatever we say comes from

142
00:05:54,361 --> 00:05:57,200
Speaker 1: a good place. But in previous friendships, I know that's

143
00:05:57,241 --> 00:05:59,561
Speaker 1: been too much. It's been too big, it's been too honest,

144
00:05:59,561 --> 00:06:01,161
Speaker 1: it's being too bold where they probably just wanted me

145
00:06:01,201 --> 00:06:03,161
Speaker 1: to listen and they didn't know how to communicate that,

146
00:06:03,201 --> 00:06:05,161
Speaker 1: and I didn't know how to hold the space. So

147
00:06:05,161 --> 00:06:07,721
Speaker 1: it's just learning to get better at that and communicating,

148
00:06:07,721 --> 00:06:09,961
Speaker 1: and it's all comes down to really good communication, doesn't it.

149
00:06:10,521 --> 00:06:13,440
Speaker 1: And also if you don't have the capacity to hold someone,

150
00:06:13,481 --> 00:06:15,721
Speaker 1: I think it's really important to communicate that as well.

151
00:06:16,081 --> 00:06:17,361
Speaker 1: So if someone comes to you and was like, oh

152
00:06:17,401 --> 00:06:19,001
Speaker 1: my gosh, you gonna tell you what happened, and you're

153
00:06:19,041 --> 00:06:21,001
Speaker 1: already dysregulated, you're not going to be able to hold

154
00:06:21,041 --> 00:06:22,441
Speaker 1: the space in a way that you would want you

155
00:06:22,481 --> 00:06:24,401
Speaker 1: in a way that they need, so you can get

156
00:06:24,401 --> 00:06:27,201
Speaker 1: and communicate and say, hey, I so want to hear

157
00:06:27,241 --> 00:06:29,601
Speaker 1: this and I'm here for you. Could we do this

158
00:06:29,601 --> 00:06:31,561
Speaker 1: this afterenoon. I've got a gap from three to four,

159
00:06:31,601 --> 00:06:32,880
Speaker 1: but I just need to be with the kids and

160
00:06:32,921 --> 00:06:35,681
Speaker 1: do this whatever it is. You're also allowed to communicate

161
00:06:35,681 --> 00:06:37,880
Speaker 1: whether you have the capacity, because if you don't and

162
00:06:37,921 --> 00:06:40,361
Speaker 1: you're already stretched, it might stretch that a little bit

163
00:06:40,401 --> 00:06:42,601
Speaker 1: further to the point that you break, and then you're

164
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,481
Speaker 1: not coping with your own emotions.

165
00:06:44,561 --> 00:06:46,200
Speaker 2: And you know what This happened with my sister and

166
00:06:46,201 --> 00:06:48,361
Speaker 2: I when I was in Bali and I got triggered

167
00:06:48,361 --> 00:06:49,960
Speaker 2: about something and it wasn't even a big thing, but

168
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,521
Speaker 2: it just for some reason, it just tipped me over

169
00:06:51,561 --> 00:06:53,361
Speaker 2: the edge and I was like, oh, okay, I can

170
00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:55,681
Speaker 2: really notice the disregulation in my chest. And then my

171
00:06:55,721 --> 00:06:58,281
Speaker 2: sister brought something into me that was super exciting, but

172
00:06:58,521 --> 00:07:01,601
Speaker 2: as you know, excitement is still dysregulated energy. And then

173
00:07:01,641 --> 00:07:03,561
Speaker 2: there was a positive thing and then a negative thing.

174
00:07:03,721 --> 00:07:06,001
Speaker 2: I wasn't ready to hold it and support her in

175
00:07:06,001 --> 00:07:08,361
Speaker 2: the way that I know I could, and so what

176
00:07:08,521 --> 00:07:11,801
Speaker 2: actually happened was I leant out from her, I held

177
00:07:11,841 --> 00:07:13,841
Speaker 2: her in the moment when she needed me because she

178
00:07:13,921 --> 00:07:15,841
Speaker 2: had something come up for her. And then over the

179
00:07:15,921 --> 00:07:17,321
Speaker 2: next two days I was like, oh, I can really

180
00:07:17,361 --> 00:07:19,841
Speaker 2: feel myself leaning out from her because I felt disregulated

181
00:07:19,881 --> 00:07:22,001
Speaker 2: from not being able to hold her correctly. And then

182
00:07:22,041 --> 00:07:23,641
Speaker 2: so I went to her and I said, hey, like,

183
00:07:23,681 --> 00:07:25,281
Speaker 2: this is how I'm feeling, this is what's come up

184
00:07:25,281 --> 00:07:27,241
Speaker 2: for me, you know, do you think maybe next time,

185
00:07:27,281 --> 00:07:29,881
Speaker 2: which we do for the most part, we always say

186
00:07:29,921 --> 00:07:31,921
Speaker 2: to each other, hey, do you have the capacity? You know?

187
00:07:32,041 --> 00:07:34,721
Speaker 2: But then I just like reinserted that the beautiful boundary

188
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,841
Speaker 2: of like, hey, can we collaborate together and build this

189
00:07:36,881 --> 00:07:41,161
Speaker 2: relationship better, of like making sure we are communicating, hey

190
00:07:41,281 --> 00:07:42,521
Speaker 2: do you have the capacity? First?

191
00:07:42,841 --> 00:07:45,441
Speaker 1: The good question to ask, isn't it It's respect too.

192
00:07:45,801 --> 00:07:48,441
Speaker 1: It's not just assuming that they can hold everything. And

193
00:07:48,481 --> 00:07:49,921
Speaker 1: if they don't have the space, they would feel like

194
00:07:49,961 --> 00:07:51,801
Speaker 1: you're just dumping on them and they've already got so

195
00:07:51,921 --> 00:07:52,521
Speaker 1: much on and.

196
00:07:52,441 --> 00:07:54,681
Speaker 2: Then they start to drown. Yeah, you start to drown

197
00:07:54,721 --> 00:07:56,881
Speaker 2: because it feels so heavy. And for the most part,

198
00:07:56,921 --> 00:07:59,921
Speaker 2: if you ask someone's nine times out of ten say

199
00:08:00,201 --> 00:08:01,961
Speaker 2: of course I have the capacity for you come in.

200
00:08:02,281 --> 00:08:05,441
Speaker 2: It's always to you, you know. But sometimes that mission

201
00:08:05,481 --> 00:08:08,001
Speaker 2: slip is just like it goes a really long way.

202
00:08:08,201 --> 00:08:10,521
Speaker 1: I think another thing that I really like too, is

203
00:08:10,561 --> 00:08:13,161
Speaker 1: just validation. Even if I don't agree with what that

204
00:08:13,201 --> 00:08:16,801
Speaker 1: person's doing, I'll say things like wow, I can really

205
00:08:17,041 --> 00:08:19,441
Speaker 1: see and feel how hard this would be for you.

206
00:08:19,961 --> 00:08:22,641
Speaker 1: It's just validating where they're at, how they're feeling, because

207
00:08:22,641 --> 00:08:24,841
Speaker 1: that immediately drops their guard down. They don't feel judged

208
00:08:24,841 --> 00:08:28,081
Speaker 1: by you. It's like, oh, true, they understand. Okay, I'm

209
00:08:28,121 --> 00:08:30,601
Speaker 1: not here alone. I'm not a crazy psycho. I'm not

210
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:32,961
Speaker 1: this big bad wolf that I'm making myself out to

211
00:08:32,961 --> 00:08:34,280
Speaker 1: be or someone else is making me out to be.

212
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:36,521
Speaker 1: It's like, oh, they see me. Yeah, I can take

213
00:08:36,561 --> 00:08:38,441
Speaker 1: a breath and I can work through this with her.

214
00:08:38,441 --> 00:08:40,321
Speaker 1: I'll work through this in my own. Yeah, you're so right.

215
00:08:40,441 --> 00:08:43,561
Speaker 1: Validation is really important. It's like almost like allows more vulnerable.

216
00:08:43,561 --> 00:08:45,841
Speaker 2: It does like heyl, if I was in your position,

217
00:08:46,001 --> 00:08:47,881
Speaker 2: I would feel the same way, or I would be

218
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,681
Speaker 2: acting the same way or doing the same thing you do. It.

219
00:08:50,801 --> 00:08:52,521
Speaker 1: Children, it's like when they fall over and hurt themselves

220
00:08:52,521 --> 00:08:54,601
Speaker 1: and their world is crumbling, It's like that must have

221
00:08:54,721 --> 00:08:57,241
Speaker 1: hurt so much. Your knee looks so sore. Did that

222
00:08:57,321 --> 00:09:00,521
Speaker 1: really hurt off? Mommy would be upset too, just validating that.

223
00:09:00,641 --> 00:09:02,881
Speaker 1: That's so true, you know, because they can get embarrassed

224
00:09:02,961 --> 00:09:05,601
Speaker 1: or feel shame or get awkward. But it's just validing

225
00:09:05,601 --> 00:09:06,041
Speaker 1: their feelings.

226
00:09:06,041 --> 00:09:07,521
Speaker 2: But we need to do that for adults as well,

227
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:09,761
Speaker 2: and then it like dissolves all that secondary emotion and

228
00:09:09,801 --> 00:09:12,161
Speaker 2: shame that as a result of whatever it is that

229
00:09:12,161 --> 00:09:13,241
Speaker 2: they're doing or experiencing.

230
00:09:13,361 --> 00:09:15,721
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that's a big thing for me, is validation.

231
00:09:16,241 --> 00:09:17,241
Speaker 2: I realized how you do that?

232
00:09:17,401 --> 00:09:19,681
Speaker 1: M I love that. Yeah, it's important. It feels nice.

233
00:09:19,761 --> 00:09:22,121
Speaker 1: I still have someone there with you that's not judging you.

234
00:09:22,201 --> 00:09:24,521
Speaker 2: Yeah, And its sometimes when you don't need advice, so

235
00:09:24,561 --> 00:09:26,481
Speaker 2: you don't need an opinion. It's just like that validation

236
00:09:26,521 --> 00:09:29,321
Speaker 2: alone be enough to dissolve whatever's come up for you.

237
00:09:29,361 --> 00:09:31,521
Speaker 1: Because imagine the difference of someone being like, oh my god,

238
00:09:31,561 --> 00:09:34,201
Speaker 1: that's fucked up, I can't believe that happened, yes, compared

239
00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:36,601
Speaker 1: to to wow, that much too really heavy for you.

240
00:09:36,681 --> 00:09:38,361
Speaker 1: I feel like I would be feeling like you would too.

241
00:09:38,441 --> 00:09:40,801
Speaker 1: That's hard, babe, Like, so here for you on that.

242
00:09:40,841 --> 00:09:44,561
Speaker 2: And we relate this to relationships. Sometimes we want from

243
00:09:44,561 --> 00:09:46,001
Speaker 2: our partner is validation.

244
00:09:45,761 --> 00:09:47,281
Speaker 1: Yes, I just want you to hear me.

245
00:09:47,321 --> 00:09:48,881
Speaker 2: I just want you to hear and see what I'm

246
00:09:48,881 --> 00:09:51,561
Speaker 2: feeling and make sure that I feel okay in this.

247
00:09:51,761 --> 00:09:54,401
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just need you to hear me. Yes, even Steve.

248
00:09:54,481 --> 00:09:56,841
Speaker 1: For the other day, we're bringing out something and we've

249
00:09:56,881 --> 00:09:59,561
Speaker 1: come into a massive rope block that we're quite disappointed in,

250
00:09:59,641 --> 00:10:00,641
Speaker 1: but we know it to work out to be a

251
00:10:00,641 --> 00:10:04,121
Speaker 1: better And when I told Steve, it was almost like, oh, yeah,

252
00:10:04,201 --> 00:10:05,921
Speaker 1: it seemed like it wasn't that interested. He said, it

253
00:10:05,921 --> 00:10:07,921
Speaker 1: wasn't that I wasn't interested. It happens all the time,

254
00:10:07,921 --> 00:10:10,281
Speaker 1: a hideaway that in my head it's no big deal.

255
00:10:10,641 --> 00:10:12,801
Speaker 1: But forgetting this is your first product that you're doing with,

256
00:10:13,201 --> 00:10:15,121
Speaker 1: of course it's a big deal. You guys put so

257
00:10:15,201 --> 00:10:18,201
Speaker 1: much into this. Whereas this happens all the time and

258
00:10:18,241 --> 00:10:20,241
Speaker 1: I have to move fast and pivot fast. I'm not

259
00:10:20,281 --> 00:10:22,921
Speaker 1: attached to that. So I was like, oh, I can

260
00:10:23,001 --> 00:10:24,841
Speaker 1: see where you're coming from, but I just wanted you

261
00:10:24,881 --> 00:10:26,841
Speaker 1: to show a big interest and validate that. This was

262
00:10:26,881 --> 00:10:28,441
Speaker 1: a really hard day for us.

263
00:10:28,841 --> 00:10:30,681
Speaker 2: Like we were annoyed and we were like, oh, you

264
00:10:30,681 --> 00:10:31,441
Speaker 2: didn't work the way and.

265
00:10:31,441 --> 00:10:34,601
Speaker 1: Now it's delayed a whole launch it's fully thrown everything

266
00:10:34,601 --> 00:10:36,241
Speaker 1: out and we trust it's happening for a reason, and

267
00:10:36,241 --> 00:10:38,561
Speaker 1: we've pivoted to bring something else for it. So it's

268
00:10:38,601 --> 00:10:41,441
Speaker 1: all fine. But at that moment, we were pretty annoyed. Yeah,

269
00:10:41,601 --> 00:10:43,881
Speaker 1: so I wanted him to be like, fuck, that's so ship, babe,

270
00:10:44,161 --> 00:10:45,961
Speaker 1: why did that happen? Oh my gosh, tell me about it.

271
00:10:46,481 --> 00:10:48,801
Speaker 1: He was like, oh, okay, cool, let's do this or whatever.

272
00:10:49,201 --> 00:10:51,321
Speaker 1: I was like, no, I've already done that, Like, I'm

273
00:10:51,321 --> 00:10:54,561
Speaker 1: not ready for solutions, emotional, I've already done. We've done

274
00:10:54,561 --> 00:10:57,121
Speaker 1: the solutions made just hold me in. Yes, But that

275
00:10:57,241 --> 00:10:59,881
Speaker 1: was on me to say, hey, babe, don't need a solution.

276
00:11:00,041 --> 00:11:01,921
Speaker 1: I just need you to hear me. Just tell me

277
00:11:01,921 --> 00:11:03,681
Speaker 1: it's okay for me to be annoyed. Your best Yeah,

278
00:11:04,321 --> 00:11:07,201
Speaker 1: on both ends communication. There's just some personal examples anyway.

279
00:11:07,201 --> 00:11:10,121
Speaker 1: We hope that helps. This is a really cool conversation

280
00:11:10,161 --> 00:11:11,921
Speaker 1: that maybe we could do a bigger episode on, or

281
00:11:11,961 --> 00:11:15,041
Speaker 1: if there's a specific situation that you're in that you're

282
00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:17,561
Speaker 1: struggling to support with, maybe that's something you could bring

283
00:11:17,561 --> 00:11:20,281
Speaker 1: into the best of your advice submission form as well. Absolutely,

284
00:11:20,681 --> 00:11:21,681
Speaker 1: but thanks for joining us.

285
00:11:21,841 --> 00:11:25,241
Speaker 2: We'll see on the next one bye bye,