WEBVTT - Riana Crehan on Overcoming Her Most Difficult Years 0:00:00.280 --> 0:00:03.360 We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 0:00:03.480 --> 0:00:06.840 on which this podcast was produced, the Galligle people of 0:00:06.880 --> 0:00:10.440 the Urination. We pay our respects to elders past and present. 0:00:11.920 --> 0:00:14.840 It's March twenty twenty two and we're on top of 0:00:14.880 --> 0:00:18.400 a cliff on the south coast of New South Wales. 0:00:19.200 --> 0:00:22.320 I'm there along with the other members of the DS 0:00:22.360 --> 0:00:26.320 to announce the fate of the final three says recruits. 0:00:27.160 --> 0:00:30.400 For the last fourteen days, they've been pushed to their physical, 0:00:30.640 --> 0:00:36.800 psychological and emotional limits. Number seven, Rhanna Korean, is anxiously 0:00:36.920 --> 0:00:40.840 waiting shoulder to shoulder with Darius Boyd and Millie Boil. 0:00:41.880 --> 0:00:47.519 We started with fourteen hopeful recruits and now just three remain. 0:00:48.560 --> 0:00:53.599 It's time to break the news. You have all passed selection. 0:00:55.400 --> 0:00:59.279 With five cracked ribs and a broken finger, Rhianna smiles 0:00:59.280 --> 0:01:04.000 from ear to ear despite the pain. But this isn't 0:01:04.080 --> 0:01:10.039 Rihanna's first time smiling through the pain. I'm Att Middleton 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:14.959 and this is head Game today. Rhianna Krean on the 0:01:15.120 --> 0:01:24.080 hardest year of her life. My next guess on the 0:01:24.080 --> 0:01:28.560 head Game is none other than number seven. No, it's 0:01:28.640 --> 0:01:32.600 not number seven. The SAS days are coming back and 0:01:32.640 --> 0:01:35.520 she's sweating in front of me right now. So we 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:39.880 will dive into that, but we have Rihanna Crean super 0:01:39.880 --> 0:01:42.800 honored to have you here and on my podcast. 0:01:42.920 --> 0:01:43.240 Rhanna. 0:01:43.680 --> 0:01:47.960 Now we go back quite some especially with me screaming 0:01:48.000 --> 0:01:52.720 and shouting at you on SAS Australia and you obviously 0:01:52.880 --> 0:01:56.200 making it to the end and passing the selection process. 0:01:56.240 --> 0:01:58.600 How are you have you recovered? Oh? 0:01:58.640 --> 0:01:59.960 Look, and I'm good to say. 0:02:00.600 --> 0:02:03.680 I'm not sure anyone will ever recover from SAS Australia, 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:07.120 but there is probably the number one question I get 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:09.440 asked when you know, people see me, particularly at work 0:02:09.440 --> 0:02:11.680 at supercar events, is what was says like? 0:02:11.800 --> 0:02:15.280 Was it really real? Is he mean that? They're like 0:02:15.280 --> 0:02:16.840 the three consistent questions? 0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:19.800 So is he really the a hole that he comes 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:20.639 to thought? 0:02:21.480 --> 0:02:25.120 He's like a gentle giant, absolutely not mean at all. 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:29.800 But look, very fond memories I think aunt from our 0:02:29.880 --> 0:02:33.800 time there and an experience that I'm incredibly grateful to 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:38.520 have had because just yeah, there's no other way that 0:02:38.639 --> 0:02:41.160 you'd actually get to experience what we experience. And it's 0:02:41.200 --> 0:02:42.920 hard to actually explain to people what it was like 0:02:43.000 --> 0:02:45.760 because unless you were there and in amongst it and 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:47.840 sharing those same memories. 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:50.639 It's very hard to put into words, but yeah, fond. 0:02:50.560 --> 0:02:54.200 Memories in inverted commas, and it's a great honor to 0:02:54.240 --> 0:02:54.440 be on. 0:02:54.440 --> 0:02:55.000 Your pod aunt. 0:02:55.480 --> 0:02:59.000 You've had a few difficult years leading up to SAS, 0:02:59.080 --> 0:03:02.360 which we'd talk about briefly, but talk to me about 0:03:02.440 --> 0:03:05.440 your childhood and where it sort of all started. Where 0:03:05.480 --> 0:03:10.000 you were a fun loving sort of speed demon, because yeah, 0:03:10.040 --> 0:03:11.959 because of the cars at a young age, or we 0:03:12.360 --> 0:03:13.560 just have a normal childhood. 0:03:13.919 --> 0:03:16.880 Oh, look, I would say it was a pretty normal childhood. 0:03:17.040 --> 0:03:19.000 I grew up in a really loving family. I've got 0:03:19.040 --> 0:03:22.000 an older sister and a younger brother, and my mum 0:03:22.040 --> 0:03:25.120 and dad were childhood sweethearts and were together I think 0:03:25.160 --> 0:03:27.480 when they were like fifteen and sixteen years old. And 0:03:27.840 --> 0:03:31.240 we grew up, you know, not wealthy, but us kids 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:34.880 certainly never went without. My parents worked really really hard 0:03:34.920 --> 0:03:36.880 to ensure that we were given the best opportunities we 0:03:36.920 --> 0:03:40.120 could to succeed in life, and just had a really 0:03:40.160 --> 0:03:43.560 really loving family and loving childhood. I grew up on 0:03:43.600 --> 0:03:47.640 a farm, so I was outdoors all the time, dirty 0:03:47.720 --> 0:03:51.200 all the time, and I loved it. I'm very lucky 0:03:51.240 --> 0:03:54.440 that that was the childhood that I had. I did 0:03:54.560 --> 0:03:58.160 dancing as a young kid, and I think that those 0:03:58.200 --> 0:04:01.400 early days in dancing really in still a lot of 0:04:01.400 --> 0:04:04.400 the traits that I carry now with discipline and working 0:04:04.440 --> 0:04:08.920 hard and you know, competition and wanting to be to 0:04:08.960 --> 0:04:11.840 be the best in everything that I do. And I 0:04:12.000 --> 0:04:14.600 was dancing from a really young age, like I was. 0:04:14.600 --> 0:04:16.760 I think I was like eighteen months two years old 0:04:16.839 --> 0:04:18.360 and then you know right up through to I was 0:04:18.400 --> 0:04:20.360 sort of eighteen nineteen years old, and that was a 0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.719 really high level. So I think that that in my 0:04:23.839 --> 0:04:27.120 childhood really you know, put me in good shape to 0:04:27.240 --> 0:04:31.599 work hard and to strive for success. And seeing both 0:04:31.640 --> 0:04:34.520 of my parents just work really really hard in order 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:36.719 to give us the best opportunities we could, you know, 0:04:37.320 --> 0:04:40.320 it's definitely shaped too. I am seeing my dad, you know, 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.240 work on a farm, you know, three hundred and sixty 0:04:42.279 --> 0:04:42.880 five days a year. 0:04:42.920 --> 0:04:44.080 There was no days off for him. 0:04:44.120 --> 0:04:44.360 Ever. 0:04:44.800 --> 0:04:47.200 My mum was a registered nurse and she still is 0:04:47.200 --> 0:04:49.919 a registered nurse now to this day. So you know, 0:04:50.000 --> 0:04:54.800 they both would work very very hard and just made 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:57.640 sure that us kids had everything we could possibly want. 0:04:58.000 --> 0:05:00.480 So you used to jump in the tractor drive. 0:05:01.760 --> 0:05:04.360 Yeah, yeah, there was plenty of plenty of that. It 0:05:04.400 --> 0:05:04.920 was funny though. 0:05:04.960 --> 0:05:07.200 The motors spot thing came at a at a when 0:05:07.240 --> 0:05:10.159 I was older. I didn't have really any interest in 0:05:10.200 --> 0:05:11.960 motorsport out as a kid up, but I did grow 0:05:12.040 --> 0:05:14.680 up loving sport. I you know, did athletics, that did swimming, 0:05:14.680 --> 0:05:17.159 I did all those things that that kids do and 0:05:17.240 --> 0:05:19.560 I was pretty competitive in it as well. And the 0:05:19.600 --> 0:05:21.760 motorspot things sort of came into my life as a 0:05:21.760 --> 0:05:22.440 as an adult. 0:05:22.520 --> 0:05:24.760 But yeah, definitely on the farm there was you know, 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:26.479 driving the light right on lawn mower. 0:05:26.560 --> 0:05:28.479 There was out in the dirt that was chasing sheep, 0:05:28.520 --> 0:05:30.840 you know, all that sort of stuff and just. 0:05:30.800 --> 0:05:33.680 A really very traditional Australian childhood. 0:05:33.920 --> 0:05:35.320 Do you know what. I love that because that's what 0:05:35.440 --> 0:05:37.520 all kids want to do al to me, isn't it 0:05:37.600 --> 0:05:39.560 as well? I've all around in the mud. They want 0:05:39.640 --> 0:05:42.240 that jump on the their a's lap and drive the 0:05:42.320 --> 0:05:46.039 tractor we left, you know, to sort of explore their 0:05:46.200 --> 0:05:50.080 small world, you know, without without anyone telling them what 0:05:50.160 --> 0:05:53.320 to do or that freedom. It does open your mind 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:56.640 up to exploration. It does open your mind up to adventure, 0:05:56.680 --> 0:05:56.960 doesn't it. 0:05:56.960 --> 0:06:00.360 As a yeah, yeah, absolutely, And I think I just 0:06:00.800 --> 0:06:03.360 from I was always you know, from a young kid, 0:06:03.480 --> 0:06:07.520 just wanted to strive for more. Was always just searching 0:06:07.760 --> 0:06:10.520 to do more, and and you know, wanted to be 0:06:10.600 --> 0:06:12.400 the best at whatever I did. And I don't know 0:06:12.400 --> 0:06:14.360 if that was just came from you know, my parents 0:06:14.440 --> 0:06:16.680 or just from what I did when I was you know, 0:06:16.680 --> 0:06:19.560 it was dancing. Was that I didn't want to just 0:06:20.640 --> 0:06:25.720 you know, settle for just mediocre. And I think that 0:06:25.720 --> 0:06:28.599 that's sort of what's carried me throughout, you know, my years. 0:06:29.400 --> 0:06:34.520 Motorsport. How how did you get into motorsport? Because it's 0:06:34.920 --> 0:06:37.560 I suppose when you look at motorsport, it's such a 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:41.520 segue from from you know, the country life and from 0:06:41.560 --> 0:06:44.320 being a down yeah, from being a dart all of 0:06:44.360 --> 0:06:47.400 a sudden, I suppose you know, the fast and furious 0:06:47.480 --> 0:06:50.760 pace of motorsport. How did you get into it? 0:06:50.760 --> 0:06:53.680 It was a situation that I kind of fell into. 0:06:53.800 --> 0:06:55.919 So at the time, I think I was eighteen or nineteen, 0:06:56.520 --> 0:06:58.720 I was still living in Perth with my family, and 0:06:59.520 --> 0:07:01.320 I finished school and I. 0:07:01.160 --> 0:07:02.680 Was going to go to UNI. 0:07:02.760 --> 0:07:04.680 But I went to UNI for a few months and 0:07:04.760 --> 0:07:06.440 then decided, no, I'm going to I'm going to take 0:07:06.440 --> 0:07:07.800 a step back. I'm going to do a few other 0:07:07.839 --> 0:07:09.920 things before I actually commit to go into university. 0:07:10.560 --> 0:07:13.320 And so I was doing just I was. 0:07:13.240 --> 0:07:16.440 Doing professional dancing work, I was doing modeling work, I 0:07:16.480 --> 0:07:18.320 was you know, working here and there, and then this 0:07:18.360 --> 0:07:20.480 opportunity came up and I used to have a competition 0:07:20.600 --> 0:07:23.720 called Miss V eight Supercar back in the day. 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:24.640 Don't they don't have it. 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:27.800 Anymore, sadly, the grid girls are starting to fade away, 0:07:27.880 --> 0:07:30.200 but back in that day, it was what two thousand 0:07:30.240 --> 0:07:33.400 and five, two thousand and six, and I. 0:07:33.400 --> 0:07:34.160 Entered the competition. 0:07:34.400 --> 0:07:36.000 Mum actually saw the ad and she's like, I think 0:07:36.000 --> 0:07:38.560 you should do this, So off I went and turns 0:07:38.560 --> 0:07:42.440 out I won the competition. So part of that was 0:07:42.480 --> 0:07:45.480 for the following twelve months, I would travel with the supercars, 0:07:45.480 --> 0:07:48.560 the Vight Supercars, go to all the events, work as 0:07:48.600 --> 0:07:51.760 an ambassador, so to speak. And I, you know, that 0:07:51.840 --> 0:07:54.800 was really my first ever sort of deep dive into 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:58.360 what car racing was and learned very quickly that that 0:07:58.440 --> 0:08:01.040 I really loved it. And towards the end of the year, 0:08:01.040 --> 0:08:02.720 when you know that year was coming to an end, 0:08:03.720 --> 0:08:05.920 I sort of said to the people within the industry 0:08:05.960 --> 0:08:07.720 that I was interested in working in television. 0:08:07.800 --> 0:08:10.760 I'd done a lot of drama and. 0:08:10.720 --> 0:08:12.480 Musical theater when I was at school, and that was 0:08:12.560 --> 0:08:14.960 kind of a pathway that I wanted to head down. 0:08:15.440 --> 0:08:17.840 And I said, look, i'd like to work in TV. 0:08:17.960 --> 0:08:19.600 Do you think there's an opportunity for me to do 0:08:19.640 --> 0:08:23.360 some work experience somewhere? And they essentially said yes, and 0:08:23.360 --> 0:08:25.200 they said, if you can get yourself to the events, 0:08:26.160 --> 0:08:27.920 and you know, you've got to sort of find your way, 0:08:27.960 --> 0:08:30.440 and then we'll give you an opportunity. And the next 0:08:30.520 --> 0:08:33.040 year that's what I did. I you know, flew myself 0:08:33.080 --> 0:08:35.680 to the events. I'm not sure that it would be 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:38.199 okay to do that now, like in terms of you're 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:41.200 doing work experience, but you're covering all your expenses. But 0:08:41.240 --> 0:08:44.600 I got myself there. I created an opportunity for myself. 0:08:44.720 --> 0:08:47.400 I started, you know, working within the team, and then 0:08:47.480 --> 0:08:49.960 it's kind of just you know, snowballed after that, and 0:08:50.000 --> 0:08:51.360 I worked hard. 0:08:51.400 --> 0:08:53.960 I sort of decided that this is what I wanted 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:54.520 to do and I. 0:08:54.520 --> 0:08:57.880 Created a job for myself essentially, But how was it 0:08:58.240 --> 0:08:59.640 going into an industry? 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:02.920 You know, your blonde hair, blue eyes, and this is 0:09:02.920 --> 0:09:06.600 sort of a male dominant industry. How hard was it 0:09:06.720 --> 0:09:09.600 to break through into that industry. 0:09:10.200 --> 0:09:13.040 Yeah, it was really hard, particularly you know, back then, 0:09:13.160 --> 0:09:15.320 which is you know, sort of mid two thousands. I 0:09:15.360 --> 0:09:19.480 suppose there wasn't necessarily as many women that you would 0:09:19.480 --> 0:09:22.360 see nowadays on TV, particularly working you know, in a 0:09:22.400 --> 0:09:28.439 sporting industry, particularly working in motorsport, which was predominantly male orientated, 0:09:28.679 --> 0:09:32.400 you know, industry, and very strong men who you know, 0:09:32.640 --> 0:09:34.880 like their cars, like their beer, that sort of thing. 0:09:35.040 --> 0:09:37.559 So for a you know, what was I at the time, 0:09:37.600 --> 0:09:39.720 I think I was nineteen years old. I'd come from 0:09:39.760 --> 0:09:45.040 this pageant background, you know, dancing, modeling, musical theater, long 0:09:45.080 --> 0:09:45.880 blonde hair. 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:47.600 And just them to the slaughter. 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:49.960 Yeah, and basically it was a lamb to the slaughter. 0:09:50.120 --> 0:09:55.439 So it was tough. Those first years were brutal. People 0:09:55.480 --> 0:09:59.000 are very unkind, very very unkind. And look, I certainly 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.440 I was very green in my career as well, Like 0:10:01.520 --> 0:10:05.760 I wasn't I wasn't good. I was okay, I hadn't 0:10:05.920 --> 0:10:08.680 had a lot of experience. I hadn't gone to journalism 0:10:09.320 --> 0:10:13.040 at university and studied, and so you know, I was 0:10:13.360 --> 0:10:16.520 very very green in that industry, and I you know, 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:19.959 I did I get got eaten alive? And there were 0:10:20.040 --> 0:10:22.600 times in those early days and they thought, is this 0:10:22.720 --> 0:10:25.679 all worth it? You know, other comments on Facebook worth it? 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:28.280 Other comments that you hear behind your back worth it? 0:10:30.000 --> 0:10:32.960 And I suppose, luckily, I'm pretty thick skinned. I mean, 0:10:33.000 --> 0:10:36.199 there were certainly times where I, you know, would be 0:10:36.240 --> 0:10:38.280 crying in the bathroom, going why am I doing this 0:10:38.360 --> 0:10:41.280 to myself? But again it was like, this is what 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:42.760 I want to do. I'm going to make sure that, 0:10:43.160 --> 0:10:44.800 you know, I do what I need to do to 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:47.520 be successful. And it meant that I worked harder than 0:10:48.280 --> 0:10:50.400 other people. It meant that I knew that I had 0:10:50.440 --> 0:10:52.520 no leeway. I couldn't make a mistake because if I 0:10:52.520 --> 0:10:53.320 made a mistake that was. 0:10:53.360 --> 0:10:54.080 Yet I'd be gone. 0:10:54.640 --> 0:10:54.840 You know. 0:10:55.200 --> 0:10:58.800 I wasn't given the same sort of leeway as some 0:10:58.840 --> 0:10:59.880 of the other people I was working. 0:11:00.160 --> 0:11:03.880 And that was fine. I understood that that was the case. 0:11:04.400 --> 0:11:07.040 But it just meant that I had to work harder 0:11:07.120 --> 0:11:09.080 and I had to make sure that I was, you know, 0:11:09.160 --> 0:11:11.480 on my A game all the time, and any anytime 0:11:11.520 --> 0:11:14.439 I did make a mistake, it was it was coming 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:15.600 for me, that's for sure. 0:11:16.120 --> 0:11:20.080 Perseverance what made you continue to persevere and what was 0:11:20.080 --> 0:11:22.839 the turning point where you were I don't want to 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:26.480 say finally accepted, but where you felt like actually, you know, 0:11:26.640 --> 0:11:28.679 you felt part of the crew, you felt part of 0:11:28.720 --> 0:11:32.320 the team, and through your perseverance, when was that to 0:11:32.360 --> 0:11:32.920 an end point? 0:11:33.520 --> 0:11:34.280 Yeah, for sure. 0:11:34.320 --> 0:11:36.320 I mean I think it would have been easier for 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:40.319 me to quit, particularly in those early days, Like I 0:11:40.400 --> 0:11:44.640 had certainly bosses that were working the back in the 0:11:44.720 --> 0:11:46.640 day that said to me, you know, look, I think 0:11:46.640 --> 0:11:48.720 you've done a really you've done a solid job, but 0:11:49.280 --> 0:11:50.880 this is probably the end of the road for you. 0:11:50.920 --> 0:11:52.880 Like, I just can't see you go any any further. 0:11:52.960 --> 0:11:55.040 I can't see a woman ever being in pit lane 0:11:55.080 --> 0:11:57.640 for us, I can't see a female ever like fronting 0:11:57.640 --> 0:12:01.840 our coverage. And so in the easier thing would be 0:12:01.880 --> 0:12:03.600 to just shake his hand and say thanks very much 0:12:03.600 --> 0:12:05.680 for the opportunity and go and do something else, but 0:12:06.440 --> 0:12:09.560 I didn't. I sort of turned that into I'll shure 0:12:09.600 --> 0:12:10.000 you mate. 0:12:11.080 --> 0:12:13.440 You know I've seen that side kind of use a. 0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:16.000 Few different words, but we'll keep it up. And it 0:12:16.120 --> 0:12:18.600 was like, you know, o case, I'm going to prove what. 0:12:18.480 --> 0:12:21.920 You guys are trying to doubt me for and and 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:25.240 keep fighting and keep you know, working my way throughout 0:12:25.480 --> 0:12:29.280 the broadcast, and eventually was given an opportunity by you know, 0:12:29.360 --> 0:12:32.560 another boss, to step up into the main broadcast, so 0:12:32.600 --> 0:12:35.520 to speak. And and that was very scary. It was 0:12:35.600 --> 0:12:38.880 I was very nervous. I still wasn't you know, I 0:12:38.920 --> 0:12:40.880 still wasn't great at what I was doing, but that 0:12:41.000 --> 0:12:42.960 he gave me, he gave me a shot, and I 0:12:43.000 --> 0:12:44.800 really needed to make sure that I made the most 0:12:44.840 --> 0:12:47.600 of that opportunity. And that was probably the point where 0:12:47.640 --> 0:12:50.320 I thought, I didn't think I'd made it, but I 0:12:50.360 --> 0:12:52.360 was like, I think, like, I'm on the right path this, 0:12:52.520 --> 0:12:54.440 I'm doing what I should be doing. 0:13:04.120 --> 0:13:07.400 Throughout your career, you've dealt with a lot. You've certainly 0:13:07.400 --> 0:13:10.599 come through everything that's been put in front of you, 0:13:10.160 --> 0:13:13.800 your one hundred percent survivor. You had the toughest year 0:13:13.840 --> 0:13:19.000 of your life, didn't you in twenty twenty before you 0:13:19.080 --> 0:13:22.480 came on SAS. And you know, I could see it 0:13:22.600 --> 0:13:25.640 in your eyes that you know, there was some pain, 0:13:25.720 --> 0:13:28.320 there was some suffering that you really wanted to sort 0:13:28.320 --> 0:13:31.720 of purge or deal with. Take me back to twenty 0:13:31.800 --> 0:13:34.280 twenty and that year of hell for you. 0:13:35.480 --> 0:13:39.120 Yeah, I mean I think so many people can probably relate. 0:13:39.160 --> 0:13:41.080 You know, twenty twenty was such a horrible year for 0:13:41.120 --> 0:13:43.360 so many reasons. Obviously COVID was one of. 0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:44.240 The biggest reasons. 0:13:44.280 --> 0:13:47.400 And you know, the start of the year at my 0:13:47.520 --> 0:13:50.680 industry in terms of in terms of motorsport all started 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:53.120 to shut down and things were starting to look pretty 0:13:53.160 --> 0:13:54.520 grim in terms of you know, how are we going 0:13:54.600 --> 0:13:58.400 to continue racing, how are going to continue working My 0:13:58.720 --> 0:14:02.000 husband Will, who races in v Itsu, because his team 0:14:02.120 --> 0:14:03.840 actually shut down at the start of the year, so 0:14:03.880 --> 0:14:08.520 he was essentially left unemployed totally out of his control 0:14:08.920 --> 0:14:10.640 at the start of the year, which was a huge 0:14:10.640 --> 0:14:13.640 blow for us as a family. And then I actually 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:15.880 got parked as well from my work because there just 0:14:16.040 --> 0:14:19.680 wasn't the ability to take everyone traveling throughout the country 0:14:19.720 --> 0:14:22.480 given you know, all of the lockdowns that Australia was 0:14:23.280 --> 0:14:25.120 going through at the time, so it was like a 0:14:25.120 --> 0:14:27.800 double blow in terms of both of us for employment. 0:14:28.640 --> 0:14:34.880 And then I got a horrible phone call, a. 0:14:34.880 --> 0:14:40.320 Phone call I'll never ever forget, from my sister to 0:14:40.400 --> 0:14:47.440 say that my dad had had an event and wasn't 0:14:47.560 --> 0:14:51.800 likely to survive. So we had to get to Perth. 0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:56.440 We live in We live in Queensland, so that was 0:14:56.520 --> 0:14:58.600 you know, up there was one of the worst days 0:14:58.600 --> 0:15:01.440 of my life. And then we had to deal with 0:15:01.480 --> 0:15:04.480 the challenge of the lockdowns in Australia at the time, 0:15:04.560 --> 0:15:06.560 and you know, trying to get into Perth was a 0:15:06.640 --> 0:15:09.120 challenge in itself. There was so few flights at the time, 0:15:10.320 --> 0:15:15.400 and you know, we had to really basically, you know, 0:15:15.520 --> 0:15:18.600 plead with the West Australian government to allow us to 0:15:18.640 --> 0:15:20.720 come in so that I could see my dad. 0:15:22.280 --> 0:15:24.360 And we were lucky, we were very lucky. 0:15:24.400 --> 0:15:28.040 We were somehow got a lady who was just very 0:15:28.080 --> 0:15:31.080 understanding and very empathetic, and you know, she made it work. 0:15:31.120 --> 0:15:34.720 So we were able to fly to Perth a couple 0:15:34.760 --> 0:15:37.560 of days later when there was a flight. But you know, 0:15:37.720 --> 0:15:39.720 I knew that we were flying there to say goodbye. 0:15:39.840 --> 0:15:42.760 It was it wasn't it wasn't going to be a 0:15:42.800 --> 0:15:45.640 flight for anything else. It was just going to be 0:15:45.680 --> 0:15:47.200 a flight that we would have to say goodbye to 0:15:47.200 --> 0:15:51.800 my dad. And so that was you know, that was 0:15:51.840 --> 0:15:55.400 absolutely the hardest, the hardest day of my life. 0:15:56.480 --> 0:16:00.520 What was it like during those two days of knowing 0:16:00.720 --> 0:16:05.000 that that your father was wasn't going to make it. 0:16:05.440 --> 0:16:09.640 But knowing that, you know, those two days of waiting 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:13.720 and anticipation and obviously thoughts going through your head, you know, 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:18.600 of maybe not making it. What would those two days. 0:16:18.480 --> 0:16:23.200 Like oh hard to put into words, and like obviously 0:16:23.400 --> 0:16:28.280 just unimaginable grief and sadness, knowing you know what we 0:16:28.280 --> 0:16:30.400 were going to be facing when we got there, but 0:16:30.680 --> 0:16:34.080 just you know, so much anger at the world, so 0:16:34.160 --> 0:16:37.640 much anger at you know, governments in Australia for locking 0:16:37.640 --> 0:16:41.760 people away and closing borders, and you know, such mixed 0:16:41.760 --> 0:16:44.760 feelings because obviously, you know, at the time, you know, 0:16:44.840 --> 0:16:47.080 everybody believed that that was the best thing for the 0:16:47.080 --> 0:16:49.680 country in order to be known, for people not to 0:16:49.680 --> 0:16:51.720 be spreading things around. But you know, when you're on 0:16:51.720 --> 0:16:54.600 the raw end of that, it was just anger, you know, 0:16:54.680 --> 0:16:57.440 I just he just hated everyone. You hated, hated what 0:16:57.520 --> 0:17:00.520 was happening, Hated the world, hated this horrible viruls, hated 0:17:00.520 --> 0:17:03.320 the fact that you know, people were getting locked away 0:17:03.320 --> 0:17:06.280 from their family, and so you know, two days of 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:12.399 just living in that space was was horrible. It's truly 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:14.720 why it was. It's I don't have any other words 0:17:14.760 --> 0:17:16.920 to describe, but it was just like watching a clock 0:17:16.960 --> 0:17:21.760 that was ticking so slowly, waiting, waiting for those minutes 0:17:21.760 --> 0:17:23.639 to tick by, waiting for those seconds to tick by, 0:17:23.920 --> 0:17:28.160 knowing that you know, we were hopeful that I would 0:17:28.200 --> 0:17:30.680 get there so that I could say goodbye, but that 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.280 also wasn't a guarantee. So you know, we were sitting 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:36.480 in this space of you know, am I going to 0:17:36.520 --> 0:17:39.480 actually be allowed to go there? Am I going to 0:17:39.560 --> 0:17:41.960 make it in time to actually say goodbye to him? 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:46.440 You know, hurry up and just please let us get there. Yeah, 0:17:46.560 --> 0:17:49.400 So it was there was so many emotions at the time. 0:17:49.480 --> 0:17:52.639 And also and I hadn't even at the time, We 0:17:52.640 --> 0:17:54.800 were just living in that, we were living in those minutes. 0:17:54.840 --> 0:17:57.399 We weren't even thinking about what this actually means, you know, 0:17:57.480 --> 0:17:59.760 moving forward, and you know the fact that you know, 0:18:00.080 --> 0:18:05.560 going to lose dad and our family was broken, you know, forever, 0:18:05.680 --> 0:18:10.720 our family would be broken because of this situation. So yeah, 0:18:10.760 --> 0:18:12.960 it was horrible, but you know, at the same time, 0:18:13.760 --> 0:18:16.840 I look back and I'm. 0:18:16.320 --> 0:18:18.640 Forever grateful that I got to say goodbye. 0:18:19.320 --> 0:18:22.920 There were so many people at that time that couldn't 0:18:23.000 --> 0:18:25.480 travel to see family, when able to have that final goodbye, 0:18:25.520 --> 0:18:28.639 when't able to go to funerals. So you know, I 0:18:28.680 --> 0:18:32.440 consider myself incredibly lucky that I had that. I had 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:35.440 that opportunity to say goodbye to him. I had the time, 0:18:35.480 --> 0:18:37.800 you know, I had the opportunity to go to Dad's funeral. 0:18:37.960 --> 0:18:40.399 We were able to have because we were in Perth. 0:18:40.480 --> 0:18:42.960 Their restrictions weren't so bad, so we were actually able 0:18:42.960 --> 0:18:46.280 to have a funeral for him. So, you know, I, 0:18:46.320 --> 0:18:48.840 as much as it was the worst time of our life, 0:18:49.600 --> 0:18:51.440 I do look back now and think, you know, I 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:54.560 am lucky I had that, because I don't know how 0:18:54.560 --> 0:18:57.160 it would have been if I was denied that opportunity. 0:18:57.440 --> 0:19:01.600 You know, Will and I we flew from Queensland to Perth, 0:19:02.359 --> 0:19:04.800 which was, you know, probably one of the worst flights 0:19:04.960 --> 0:19:06.879 I've ever been on. You know, I didn't know that, 0:19:07.119 --> 0:19:08.879 you know, all of a sudden, You've got no wife, I, 0:19:08.920 --> 0:19:10.680 you've got no connection and it's a you know, five 0:19:10.720 --> 0:19:13.520 and ars six hour flight to Perth. So for that 0:19:13.560 --> 0:19:15.840 period of time, again, it was just like a horrible 0:19:15.840 --> 0:19:17.880 waiting game, looking up the seconds of the clock, looking 0:19:17.920 --> 0:19:19.960 at the minutes of the clock and knowing that, you 0:19:19.960 --> 0:19:21.520 know what if when we land, I get the phone 0:19:21.520 --> 0:19:23.560 call to say you know, we haven't made it on time, 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:25.320 so so that in and. 0:19:25.200 --> 0:19:26.080 Itself was awful. 0:19:26.960 --> 0:19:30.200 And then yeah, you know, arriving to the hospital, we 0:19:30.200 --> 0:19:32.080 were able to see him in the ICU. 0:19:32.240 --> 0:19:34.200 He was, you know, he was he was. 0:19:34.119 --> 0:19:37.040 Not conscious, he was I like to think he knew 0:19:37.080 --> 0:19:39.080 that we were there, but you know, obviously we'll never know. 0:19:39.440 --> 0:19:41.520 And maybe he did know because he hung. 0:19:41.400 --> 0:19:44.639 On you know, we got there and I had a 0:19:44.640 --> 0:19:47.879 few moments with him before we lost him, so maybe 0:19:47.920 --> 0:19:48.520 he did know. 0:19:50.280 --> 0:19:52.119 That we were coming and we were on that plane. 0:19:52.280 --> 0:19:55.600 So but yeah, you know, we had to say goodbye, 0:19:55.680 --> 0:19:59.359 and then I suppose after that it was dealing with 0:19:59.440 --> 0:20:03.280 what lost, but also then having to quarantine for two 0:20:03.320 --> 0:20:06.840 weeks because they're stupid, stupid rules at the time, So 0:20:07.240 --> 0:20:12.040 you know, I spent two weeks then quarantined after saying 0:20:12.040 --> 0:20:17.800 goodbye to Dad, which was in itself pretty rubbish situation 0:20:17.920 --> 0:20:18.320 to be in. 0:20:18.480 --> 0:20:22.560 But they know you by yourself. 0:20:23.080 --> 0:20:25.800 I was with Will, so you know, we I wasn't 0:20:25.840 --> 0:20:27.399 totally by myself, but yeah, it was. 0:20:28.200 --> 0:20:29.000 It was pretty rough. 0:20:29.040 --> 0:20:30.840 You know, sometimes you just want to go for a 0:20:30.920 --> 0:20:32.480 drive to the beach or like just go for a 0:20:32.480 --> 0:20:33.680 walk and get out of the fresh air. 0:20:33.800 --> 0:20:35.720 And we weren't able to do that, so that made 0:20:35.760 --> 0:20:36.479 that pretty tricky. 0:20:36.560 --> 0:20:40.520 But look, I'm I'm I'm very lucky and I've got 0:20:40.920 --> 0:20:43.439 the most I hit the jackpot with my family, you know, 0:20:43.760 --> 0:20:46.000 like my mom, my brother, my sister, you. 0:20:45.960 --> 0:20:46.680 Know, my dad. 0:20:46.720 --> 0:20:49.320 We were all in We all are incredibly the host. 0:20:49.440 --> 0:20:52.439 We speak to each other every single day. We are 0:20:52.480 --> 0:20:57.199 absolutely each other's biggest supporter. And and I know how 0:20:57.280 --> 0:20:59.199 like I am that I have that, and so you 0:20:59.200 --> 0:21:02.840 know that time was the worst time for us. But 0:21:02.840 --> 0:21:04.560 but at the same time, you know, we we have 0:21:04.680 --> 0:21:06.960 each other and we always have been like that. So 0:21:08.200 --> 0:21:11.080 you know, you've, as you said, you know, you've got 0:21:11.119 --> 0:21:12.840 to you've got to be able to pull positives out 0:21:12.880 --> 0:21:17.080 of pretty shitty situations because otherwise you will spiral. And 0:21:17.160 --> 0:21:21.520 I suppose I am I'm grateful that I have that 0:21:21.680 --> 0:21:25.679 in me. I'm able to to see that, you know, 0:21:25.960 --> 0:21:29.600 when when the days are dark, that there's always still hope, 0:21:30.040 --> 0:21:31.800 because if you haven't, if you don't have hope, you know, 0:21:32.960 --> 0:21:34.160 it's it's pretty grim. 0:21:34.200 --> 0:21:37.280 So you know, we've just always looked at what we have, 0:21:37.440 --> 0:21:37.840 and we have. 0:21:37.840 --> 0:21:40.919 Each other, and you know, we had amazing times with Dad. 0:21:41.440 --> 0:21:47.520 We had an amazing childhood and and you know, I'm lucky. 0:21:47.240 --> 0:21:47.760 That I had that. 0:21:48.640 --> 0:21:52.600 So you and your husband both lost your jobs, your 0:21:52.800 --> 0:21:58.480 your father passes away, you're lockdown, and you still manage 0:21:58.640 --> 0:22:03.600 to come through a positive mindset all the way to 0:22:03.680 --> 0:22:06.359 twenty twenty one, where you decided to do an Iron 0:22:06.400 --> 0:22:09.680 Man out of everything that could have possibly have gone wrong. 0:22:09.800 --> 0:22:13.760 You what, when did that decision, you know, come into fruition? 0:22:13.840 --> 0:22:16.800 When did you think, right, listen, enough's enough, We've got 0:22:16.840 --> 0:22:19.159 to get back in the game. Yeah, I'm gonna do it, 0:22:19.440 --> 0:22:22.520 and I am. I can understand a half marathon, maybe 0:22:22.560 --> 0:22:25.679 a maraffon or maybe a little fun run or something, 0:22:25.720 --> 0:22:28.520 but yeah, an iron that's hardcore. I owe you a 0:22:28.600 --> 0:22:31.800 hardcore anyway, because I've seen it firsthand. But you know, 0:22:31.920 --> 0:22:37.199 someone that's looking from the outside in your situation of 0:22:36.520 --> 0:22:40.840 of of trauma, of dread, of you know, of looking 0:22:40.840 --> 0:22:42.760 into this dark cloud, and all of a sudden you 0:22:42.800 --> 0:22:44.679 pop out of it and you go, right, this is 0:22:44.680 --> 0:22:47.000 what I'm gonna do? What? What? What the hell made 0:22:47.000 --> 0:22:48.040 you you decide to do that? 0:22:48.520 --> 0:22:51.360 Well, to be honest with you, you know, there there 0:22:51.400 --> 0:22:53.600 was dark days. There was really dark days, and there 0:22:53.680 --> 0:22:57.840 was weeks where I didn't you know, feel like I 0:22:57.920 --> 0:23:00.280 had not that I didn't have anything to live, but 0:23:00.520 --> 0:23:04.240 you know, I didn't have some purpose so to speak. 0:23:04.280 --> 0:23:05.200 You know, I'd lost my job. 0:23:05.240 --> 0:23:07.520 I had this horrible you know, trauma with my dad, 0:23:07.600 --> 0:23:09.399 and it was kind of like, well what now, Like 0:23:09.680 --> 0:23:11.280 I don't even have a job to do, Like what 0:23:11.320 --> 0:23:13.000 am I going to do? And you know, I'd always 0:23:13.080 --> 0:23:14.720 like to keep fit, and i'd done if you know, 0:23:14.720 --> 0:23:16.440 I've done some trifleons and things. 0:23:16.280 --> 0:23:17.320 Like that in the past. 0:23:17.440 --> 0:23:19.680 And and there was a good couple of weeks where 0:23:19.720 --> 0:23:22.440 I literally just didn't get out of bed because facing 0:23:22.440 --> 0:23:24.480 the world was too hard at the time. You know, 0:23:24.560 --> 0:23:27.879 it just I didn't have the energy to be sad. 0:23:27.920 --> 0:23:29.680 I didn't have the energy to be happy. I just 0:23:30.119 --> 0:23:33.680 wanted to just sit in, you know, in that space 0:23:33.840 --> 0:23:36.040 I needed and I needed to I really did need 0:23:36.080 --> 0:23:37.840 to do that. But you know, then it came a 0:23:37.840 --> 0:23:40.280 point where I'm like, I need to I can't do this. 0:23:40.440 --> 0:23:43.360 You know, my dad wouldn't want any. 0:23:43.160 --> 0:23:46.480 Of us to be just sitting here and not living. 0:23:46.560 --> 0:23:48.600 You know. He was all about living and doing you know, 0:23:48.680 --> 0:23:52.720 crazy things, and always you know, was you know, the 0:23:52.800 --> 0:23:55.000 life of the party and was always the person that 0:23:55.119 --> 0:23:56.080 was helping other people. 0:23:56.160 --> 0:23:57.880 And and I. 0:23:57.880 --> 0:24:00.400 Just I just entered a nine man and I'm right, 0:24:00.440 --> 0:24:02.439 this is this is going to be my purpose for 0:24:02.520 --> 0:24:03.199 the next you know. 0:24:03.240 --> 0:24:04.840 However, many months I was going. 0:24:04.760 --> 0:24:06.679 To get into or do you just go, I'm just 0:24:06.680 --> 0:24:08.840 going to into an eye am out it's high school. 0:24:09.600 --> 0:24:12.240 I had a little bit of a and I actually no, 0:24:12.400 --> 0:24:14.800 I did have an idea, but yeah, once I started 0:24:14.800 --> 0:24:17.320 the training, like oh wow, this is like this is 0:24:17.480 --> 0:24:20.520 this is a lot lot of training. But it was 0:24:20.560 --> 0:24:22.680 my reason. You know, it was my thing that every 0:24:22.760 --> 0:24:24.760 day I didn't have an excuse. I couldn't lay in 0:24:24.800 --> 0:24:26.720 bed all day. I needed to get up and do 0:24:26.800 --> 0:24:28.320 the training. I had to get up and ride my 0:24:28.359 --> 0:24:30.520 bike or go for a run. And I mean, you 0:24:30.560 --> 0:24:32.600 know what it's like, and you know, just the endorphins 0:24:32.600 --> 0:24:36.720 and feeling physically good makes you feel mentally good and 0:24:36.720 --> 0:24:39.320 and just spark something within you when you when you 0:24:39.359 --> 0:24:42.080 get moving and when you start to accomplish things like okay, 0:24:42.080 --> 0:24:43.520 I've just done a ten k run, or now I've 0:24:43.520 --> 0:24:45.200 done a fourteen k run, or now I've done this, 0:24:45.280 --> 0:24:46.920 and you know that all of a sudden, you've got 0:24:46.920 --> 0:24:48.480 that you know. 0:24:48.480 --> 0:24:49.639 That that feel good energy. 0:24:49.760 --> 0:24:53.600 Yeah, and that purpose and and that's really what got 0:24:53.640 --> 0:24:57.239 me through those next few months was the fact that 0:24:57.320 --> 0:25:02.920 you know, after so much sad and bad news and darkness, 0:25:03.000 --> 0:25:06.720 that you know, I had some something to work towards. 0:25:06.800 --> 0:25:09.760 And the Trithon community is such a beautiful community. You know, 0:25:09.880 --> 0:25:13.199 people from all walks of life are doing trifle, you know, 0:25:13.320 --> 0:25:16.480 and I've just found it. It's such a beautiful bunch 0:25:16.520 --> 0:25:19.480 of people that are so supportive. And I really got 0:25:19.320 --> 0:25:22.640 into the spirit of it. I was, you know, training 0:25:22.640 --> 0:25:25.200 every single day. I had a coach who set me 0:25:25.240 --> 0:25:27.639 out my program and told me what I needed to do, 0:25:27.800 --> 0:25:30.320 and yeah, just got stuck in. 0:25:30.440 --> 0:25:33.000 You know what. I love that And I love what 0:25:33.040 --> 0:25:37.000 you mentioned there about just getting up and moving. And 0:25:37.040 --> 0:25:41.639 that's why you hear me shout on essays, because just 0:25:41.800 --> 0:25:44.560 that action, you know, no matter how down you feel. 0:25:44.600 --> 0:25:46.199 And I always say this to people who ask for 0:25:46.240 --> 0:25:47.760 a bit of advice when they say to me, and 0:25:48.600 --> 0:25:50.840 you know, I can't get off the couch, I can't 0:25:50.840 --> 0:25:55.000 get out of bed, and I say, just move. It's 0:25:55.080 --> 0:25:57.600 so important that when you're feeling like this, when you 0:25:57.640 --> 0:26:00.399 feel like you know you can't go on, and that 0:26:00.480 --> 0:26:02.679 life is too much, and so all I say to 0:26:02.720 --> 0:26:05.680 people is move. And like you said as well, when 0:26:05.720 --> 0:26:09.080 you move, it stimulates the mind because guess what, when 0:26:09.119 --> 0:26:12.320 you actually move, you are problem solving, you know, a 0:26:12.440 --> 0:26:15.240 hundred things at once. You know, just we're subconsciously, where 0:26:15.240 --> 0:26:16.399 am I going to put my foot? How am I 0:26:16.400 --> 0:26:18.800 going to balance myself? How am I going to stand up? 0:26:18.880 --> 0:26:21.600 You know, you subconsciously your mind kicks in and it 0:26:21.960 --> 0:26:26.080 triggers stuff. And obviously you moved in quite a drastic 0:26:26.200 --> 0:26:27.640 and challenging way. 0:26:27.680 --> 0:26:30.320 You don't necessarily need do an I am but exactly, 0:26:30.320 --> 0:26:32.960 but yeah, it is. It's just that it's feeling of 0:26:33.280 --> 0:26:36.640 accomplishment as well. And you know, even now I've had 0:26:36.680 --> 0:26:38.640 some we've had a pretty rough start to the year. 0:26:38.720 --> 0:26:41.200 My mum's been unwell, and and you know, I would 0:26:41.280 --> 0:26:43.320 run every day even though we you know, we're visiting 0:26:43.359 --> 0:26:44.840 her in the hospital, and people would say, you know, 0:26:44.880 --> 0:26:47.320 why are you bother running? And I'm like, because that's 0:26:47.359 --> 0:26:50.120 what that's what I need. I need to do that, 0:26:50.240 --> 0:26:52.800 you know, I need. You know, some people listen to 0:26:52.960 --> 0:26:55.600 loud music, some people will meditate, something more might do yoga, 0:26:55.680 --> 0:26:59.439 you know, some people whatever. But like, yeah, for me 0:27:00.200 --> 0:27:02.000 movement and it doesn't have to be in that I'm 0:27:02.000 --> 0:27:04.320 smashing myself and doing a marathon. It's just I just 0:27:04.359 --> 0:27:06.119 need to get out and just be you know, be 0:27:06.280 --> 0:27:09.520 outside and just moving, and that's what gets me through, 0:27:09.680 --> 0:27:10.880 you know, the tough times. 0:27:11.480 --> 0:27:17.240 So moving on to the Iron Man, how did you do? Look? 0:27:17.280 --> 0:27:20.359 I did okay. I had no I had no goal, 0:27:20.520 --> 0:27:22.280 not even have a goal. I wanted to finish. 0:27:22.359 --> 0:27:22.960 That was my goal. 0:27:23.280 --> 0:27:24.359 Yeah, I wanted to complete it. 0:27:24.440 --> 0:27:26.920 I didn't have any you know, time in my head 0:27:26.920 --> 0:27:29.440 that I needed to be done by, and to be honest, 0:27:29.440 --> 0:27:31.240 I just wanted to get to the start line. Because 0:27:31.760 --> 0:27:34.800 if anyone's ever you know, done an iron Man, they 0:27:34.880 --> 0:27:37.879 understand that. You know, the training in itself is probably 0:27:37.960 --> 0:27:39.800 the most difficult part. You know, you're training for a 0:27:39.840 --> 0:27:42.439 three point eight k swim, one hundred and eighty k 0:27:42.560 --> 0:27:45.200 bike ride, and then a marathon to finish forty two ks. 0:27:45.240 --> 0:27:47.840 So to train for that event, you know, you need 0:27:47.880 --> 0:27:50.679 to be doing two three four hours a day of 0:27:50.720 --> 0:27:53.440 training to be able just to get through. So I 0:27:53.880 --> 0:27:56.000 wanted to get to the start line without being injured 0:27:56.000 --> 0:27:59.080 and without you know, burning myself out. And I knew 0:27:59.119 --> 0:28:00.639 that once I got to the star art line that 0:28:00.760 --> 0:28:02.439 I would get to the finish line. I knew that 0:28:02.480 --> 0:28:04.480 I would finish it regardless of how long it would 0:28:04.480 --> 0:28:04.800 take me. 0:28:05.880 --> 0:28:06.400 And I did. 0:28:06.440 --> 0:28:09.240 I finished it okay. I had a pretty good swim. 0:28:09.400 --> 0:28:11.360 My ride was okay. It was a pretty windy day, 0:28:11.400 --> 0:28:13.720 so that was that. There was times during that ride 0:28:13.720 --> 0:28:15.920 where I wanted to throw my bike off. 0:28:15.880 --> 0:28:18.560 The off the bridge and never ever see it again. 0:28:19.080 --> 0:28:22.680 And then the run for me, I always that's probably 0:28:22.720 --> 0:28:24.639 my weakest leg. So I knew that, you know, it 0:28:24.720 --> 0:28:26.080 was just going to be a bit of a shuffle, 0:28:26.200 --> 0:28:29.520 like a walk jog type thing. And and once I 0:28:29.560 --> 0:28:31.639 got onto the run leg, you know you're essentially at 0:28:31.640 --> 0:28:33.480 the end, even though you've got you know, a marathon 0:28:33.520 --> 0:28:35.359 to go. But I knew that if I got to 0:28:35.400 --> 0:28:37.200 that point, I would a one hundred percent get to 0:28:37.240 --> 0:28:39.360 the end and got to the end and cross the 0:28:39.360 --> 0:28:43.240 finish line. And I actually I sculled a VB beer 0:28:44.400 --> 0:28:48.760 For Australians, I'll understand a VB isn't usually the first 0:28:48.800 --> 0:28:50.800 choice of beer, but that was my dad's favorite beer. 0:28:51.600 --> 0:28:53.880 And on my hand throughout the. 0:28:53.920 --> 0:28:57.080 Day, i'd written I'd written a little message in Penn 0:28:57.720 --> 0:28:59.600 so I knew that there was you know, there was 0:29:00.200 --> 0:29:02.600 going to be moments during the day that we're going 0:29:02.640 --> 0:29:05.120 to be tough, and I needed to hang on because 0:29:05.200 --> 0:29:07.080 Dad hung on for me. So that was kind of 0:29:07.120 --> 0:29:09.440 what got me through throughout the day and across the 0:29:09.440 --> 0:29:12.800 finish lane and skull the beer and yeah, that one 0:29:12.960 --> 0:29:18.520 was for Dad. 0:29:23.000 --> 0:29:25.320 What I love about an iron Man is that you 0:29:25.360 --> 0:29:28.160 know what you're doing. You just said about the swim, 0:29:28.480 --> 0:29:35.680 the cycle, the run. However, Sas Australia you are chucked 0:29:35.800 --> 0:29:39.440 into the fold their fear of the unknown, the fear 0:29:39.520 --> 0:29:42.560 of not being good enough, fear you know, you don't 0:29:42.600 --> 0:29:44.880 know what's happening, you don't know what's around the corner, 0:29:44.920 --> 0:29:47.640 you don't know how to prepare, you can't prepare. Did 0:29:47.680 --> 0:29:51.440 you think that the Iron Man prepared you for Sas. 0:29:53.120 --> 0:29:54.600 No, look yes and no. 0:29:54.840 --> 0:29:58.080 Like in some ways it kind of like obviously cardio 0:29:58.120 --> 0:29:59.240 fitness it prepared. 0:29:59.480 --> 0:30:03.800 It is fair. I hear that the emotional side, look 0:30:04.600 --> 0:30:05.640 not not completely. 0:30:05.680 --> 0:30:08.000 I think it put me in good shape to be 0:30:08.640 --> 0:30:11.080 on the show. I think, you know, an iron Man's 0:30:11.080 --> 0:30:13.920 not easy. It's it's a hard it's a hard thing 0:30:14.000 --> 0:30:17.040 to do, and and it's you're on your own, you know, 0:30:17.080 --> 0:30:18.480 particularly when you're on the bike. 0:30:18.560 --> 0:30:19.080 You're on the bike. 0:30:19.240 --> 0:30:21.320 I was on the bike for six and a half hours. 0:30:21.360 --> 0:30:23.280 So you're on the bike for six and a half hours, 0:30:23.280 --> 0:30:25.160 not talking to anyone. You don't have the ability to 0:30:25.200 --> 0:30:28.040 listen to music or listen to a podcast. It's you, 0:30:28.040 --> 0:30:29.479 your bike and your thoughts. 0:30:29.920 --> 0:30:33.800 The opportunity to listen to head game, you know, what 0:30:33.880 --> 0:30:34.800 do you think come first? 0:30:35.400 --> 0:30:37.520 And but it's you know, that's a long time where 0:30:37.520 --> 0:30:39.959 you're in the hurt lock are you Your legs are 0:30:39.960 --> 0:30:43.120 screaming at you. You know, your back's locked up, everything's hurting, 0:30:43.600 --> 0:30:47.520 and and you've got your thoughts. And so in a 0:30:47.560 --> 0:30:51.520 way I suppose I had, you know, a taste of 0:30:51.520 --> 0:30:54.040 of that kind of mentality and the taste of being 0:30:54.080 --> 0:30:55.880 in that space where it's like you've just got to 0:30:55.880 --> 0:30:57.440 lock in and you've just got to keep going. 0:30:58.120 --> 0:30:59.680 But yeah, nothing nothing in. 0:30:59.680 --> 0:31:03.680 The world we can prepare me for Australia, like literally nothing, 0:31:03.720 --> 0:31:04.480 no podcast. 0:31:04.560 --> 0:31:05.920 We'll get you through that show. 0:31:08.040 --> 0:31:10.120 I love it. So when did the call come up? 0:31:10.200 --> 0:31:12.360 Let's get straight into it. When did that caol come up? 0:31:12.720 --> 0:31:12.800 So? 0:31:12.880 --> 0:31:15.360 Did you feel fit? Did you feel excited? No? I'm 0:31:15.360 --> 0:31:15.920 an idiot. 0:31:16.640 --> 0:31:19.600 My manager called me, and it was at the time 0:31:19.600 --> 0:31:21.960 where my work was still sort of I was in 0:31:22.000 --> 0:31:23.760 a bit of a weird spot because of COVID and 0:31:23.800 --> 0:31:27.680 we still hadn't like gone back to regular you know, 0:31:27.760 --> 0:31:29.360 regular travel for what I was doing. 0:31:29.960 --> 0:31:31.520 And my manager called me is like, look, there's a 0:31:31.560 --> 0:31:33.640 show Essays Australia. You've seen it. I'm like, yeah, yeah, 0:31:33.680 --> 0:31:35.760 what shirit? Do you want to do it? Yeah? 0:31:35.800 --> 0:31:36.080 Sure? 0:31:36.200 --> 0:31:37.960 Why not? I was like, okay, okay. 0:31:38.200 --> 0:31:40.000 He's like, I'll call you in ten minutes and he 0:31:40.120 --> 0:31:42.480 literally called me back and he's like, you're in. So 0:31:42.800 --> 0:31:45.880 I didn't think about it at all. And then when 0:31:45.920 --> 0:31:49.840 I told Will my husband, he's like, are you joking? 0:31:52.000 --> 0:31:53.800 Why would you say yes? 0:31:55.080 --> 0:31:56.440 And so that was it. 0:31:56.520 --> 0:31:59.880 I think I think we had six weeks maybe before 0:31:59.880 --> 0:32:02.480 the show started. I think there was a like, I 0:32:02.520 --> 0:32:04.239 think that was the lead up time, six weeks, eight 0:32:04.280 --> 0:32:09.160 weeks maybe at most. So I knew that I was 0:32:09.200 --> 0:32:11.520 going to be okay in terms of cardio fitness, Like 0:32:11.600 --> 0:32:13.760 I knew that I could swim, I could run all that. 0:32:13.680 --> 0:32:14.320 Sort of stuff. 0:32:15.120 --> 0:32:18.960 As you can see, these these guns aren't really really 0:32:19.000 --> 0:32:23.720 built for lifting. So I got myself into the gym 0:32:23.920 --> 0:32:28.440 and just picked up heavy shit basically by exactly and 0:32:28.640 --> 0:32:30.760 knew that that was going to be my weakness, so 0:32:31.240 --> 0:32:36.120 just lifted sandbags and weights as much as my body 0:32:36.120 --> 0:32:38.320 would allow me to without getting injured. 0:32:39.680 --> 0:32:42.200 And then that was it. That was that was the show. 0:32:42.880 --> 0:32:47.160 And take me back to day one. How did that feel? 0:32:47.880 --> 0:32:51.120 It was terrifying, and you know, you didn't know how 0:32:51.160 --> 0:32:53.280 the show was going to work, so to speak. I mean, 0:32:53.320 --> 0:32:55.360 I'd come from a television background, so I had an 0:32:55.400 --> 0:32:56.760 idea of how they make TV. 0:32:57.040 --> 0:32:58.640 You mean, the course. You didn't know how that. 0:33:00.000 --> 0:33:02.760 We didn't know how the course was going to play out. 0:33:02.840 --> 0:33:06.040 And and you know, as you hear about how shows 0:33:06.040 --> 0:33:09.840 are filmed, you know other reality TV shows are filmed 0:33:09.840 --> 0:33:11.440 and it's like okay, you know that they'll do a 0:33:11.720 --> 0:33:14.000 scene and then it's like the producible interrupt and then 0:33:14.040 --> 0:33:15.320 you know a director will say on and we've got 0:33:15.360 --> 0:33:18.200 to do that again. Or but yeah, obviously that wasn't 0:33:18.400 --> 0:33:22.760 That wasn't how sas Australia worked. It was once once 0:33:22.880 --> 0:33:24.880 you told us to get off that boat, you know, 0:33:24.960 --> 0:33:27.840 we were in your world and. 0:33:26.920 --> 0:33:28.840 And it was terrifying. It was truly terrifying. 0:33:28.880 --> 0:33:32.000 It was very intimidating, obviously, not just from yourself and 0:33:32.040 --> 0:33:34.600 from the other directing staff, but from the people that 0:33:34.640 --> 0:33:38.080 I was on the course with. You know, I was 0:33:38.800 --> 0:33:41.560 you know, I'm not a known person in the media. 0:33:42.200 --> 0:33:44.480 I'm not an athlete. I'm not an Olympian. 0:33:44.560 --> 0:33:47.080 And you know, you're standing there and you're looking around 0:33:47.160 --> 0:33:49.240 and you've got Jeff Hugel there. You know, You've got 0:33:49.240 --> 0:33:52.240 Melissa Wu there, We've got Wayne Kerr. We had Barry Hall, 0:33:52.840 --> 0:33:55.640 you know, we had Marcu Zarafa, like, we had so 0:33:55.920 --> 0:33:59.959 many people that were these incredible athletes who had had 0:34:00.640 --> 0:34:04.200 enormous success in their life, and I'm sort of standing 0:34:04.200 --> 0:34:06.800 there looking at them, like, how on earth am I 0:34:06.920 --> 0:34:10.520 supposed to even remotely be, you know, considered on the 0:34:10.520 --> 0:34:13.399 same playing field as these people around me and big 0:34:13.440 --> 0:34:18.080 personalities who you know, we're quite overwhelming when you first 0:34:18.080 --> 0:34:21.239 get in because everyone you know is wanting to, you know, 0:34:21.320 --> 0:34:22.279 have their voice heard. 0:34:22.360 --> 0:34:27.240 And I'm I'm quite a quite shy person in real life, 0:34:27.480 --> 0:34:28.560 even though I work in TV. 0:34:28.920 --> 0:34:31.279 In my you know, in my personal life, I'm not 0:34:31.440 --> 0:34:33.560 the loudest person in the room, and if anything, I 0:34:33.640 --> 0:34:35.680 like to be the quietest person in the room, particularly 0:34:35.680 --> 0:34:36.319 when I don't know. 0:34:36.320 --> 0:34:40.319 People, so I think I that's what I did. 0:34:40.360 --> 0:34:42.640 I was pretty quiet, didn't you know, didn't want to 0:34:42.920 --> 0:34:45.120 make too much noise and just sort of go under 0:34:45.160 --> 0:34:47.839 the radar and try not to get your attention, because 0:34:47.880 --> 0:34:49.719 if you've got your attention, usually it's because you've done 0:34:49.760 --> 0:34:50.200 something wrong. 0:34:51.360 --> 0:34:56.440 Correct very wise, I would say, what's it like amongst 0:34:56.600 --> 0:34:58.120 the you know, from the very first day, what's it 0:34:58.160 --> 0:34:59.160 like amongst the recruits. 0:34:59.719 --> 0:35:01.759 I mean, it was pretty obvious from the art set, 0:35:01.880 --> 0:35:04.800 you know who was going to be the not ourphas, 0:35:04.800 --> 0:35:07.239 but like the louder people, the people that sort of 0:35:08.160 --> 0:35:11.759 speak the most and put themselves forward the most. It 0:35:11.880 --> 0:35:13.880 was quite obvious you know who those people were going 0:35:13.960 --> 0:35:16.080 to be. But to be peavitly honest, I felt like 0:35:16.160 --> 0:35:21.760 our group was a really supportive group for the most part. 0:35:21.920 --> 0:35:24.399 Everyone was a big supporter of each other. 0:35:24.480 --> 0:35:27.400 There wasn't necessarily anyone who was trying to be the 0:35:27.400 --> 0:35:29.560 best or always you know, wanting to you know, out 0:35:29.680 --> 0:35:32.480 race or outdo anyone else, like I felt like, particularly 0:35:33.080 --> 0:35:35.880 particularly the guys like Barry Hall and Darius Boyd and 0:35:35.920 --> 0:35:40.280 Wayne Carey, Jeff Yugel, like, they were all very good supporters, 0:35:40.280 --> 0:35:44.320 particularly of us girls, even though they might be stronger 0:35:44.360 --> 0:35:47.160 than us and be able to carry heavier things than us, 0:35:47.200 --> 0:35:50.160 like they were always our biggest champions, you know, throughout 0:35:50.160 --> 0:35:52.799 the tasks and always wanting to make sure that we 0:35:52.840 --> 0:35:56.480 didn't ever feel that we were lesser than those guys. 0:35:56.480 --> 0:35:58.400 And I think it showed at the end of the 0:35:58.400 --> 0:35:59.200 show when there was. 0:36:00.080 --> 0:36:02.560 More women than men towards the end, I think it 0:36:02.640 --> 0:36:05.760 really did show that we were we were successful because 0:36:05.800 --> 0:36:08.920 we had people, you know, supporting us so much, you know, 0:36:09.000 --> 0:36:09.920 right from the outset. 0:36:10.640 --> 0:36:12.759 That's why everything is put on a base level. That's 0:36:12.760 --> 0:36:15.800 why there's no heavier weight in the women's burg or 0:36:15.920 --> 0:36:18.040 heavier weight in the men's burg, and in the women's burg, 0:36:18.280 --> 0:36:22.360 because we're testing you physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Yes, the 0:36:22.480 --> 0:36:26.399 men might be physically stronger and maybe I wouldn't say fitter, 0:36:26.440 --> 0:36:29.520 but physically stronger, but when it comes to the psychological 0:36:29.640 --> 0:36:33.360 side and the emotional side, it would be unfair to 0:36:33.520 --> 0:36:37.080 make it easier for women on the physical side because 0:36:37.480 --> 0:36:40.640 actually psychologically and emotionally one, you don't know what's going 0:36:40.680 --> 0:36:42.840 on up there or what people are been through, so 0:36:43.280 --> 0:36:45.880 you know, that's that's a level playing field, and that 0:36:45.920 --> 0:36:49.359 the emotional side, from what I've seen is that women 0:36:49.440 --> 0:36:52.160 actually deal with their emotions a little bit better than mey. 0:36:52.600 --> 0:36:56.200 So you know, it's important that people realize that. That's 0:36:56.239 --> 0:36:58.319 why we keep the course the way it is and 0:36:58.360 --> 0:37:01.680 there's everyone's on the same playing field, because when we 0:37:01.760 --> 0:37:04.879 test you physically, psychologically and emotionally, if you've if there's 0:37:04.920 --> 0:37:07.440 a disconnect between the trilogy and you, you can't hack 0:37:07.520 --> 0:37:10.360 it psychologically, then you're gone. Emotionally, if you can't do 0:37:10.400 --> 0:37:14.120 some of the fear defying tests and heights, water phobias, 0:37:14.400 --> 0:37:17.160 you're gone. Physically, if you're not up to scratch, you're gone. 0:37:17.560 --> 0:37:21.319 So did you when did you start to sort of 0:37:21.320 --> 0:37:24.520 because you sort of came into your flow after the 0:37:24.800 --> 0:37:27.360 first four or five days. You see people you know 0:37:27.400 --> 0:37:29.719 who are who you thought, wow, are going to be 0:37:29.760 --> 0:37:33.040 here at the end start leaving, yeah, and you start 0:37:33.040 --> 0:37:34.920 to get into your flow, don't you start to realize, 0:37:34.960 --> 0:37:37.160 do you know what, I've just got to let go. 0:37:37.239 --> 0:37:40.000 I've just got to embrace the embrace the course and 0:37:40.040 --> 0:37:41.440 let myself let myself go. 0:37:41.760 --> 0:37:44.000 And I think that's the key, to be honest, is 0:37:44.160 --> 0:37:47.880 that just knowing that you've got to you know, just 0:37:48.000 --> 0:37:50.160 let let the show take care of itself, like you've 0:37:50.280 --> 0:37:52.319 lost all control, Like you can't you don't choose when 0:37:52.360 --> 0:37:53.600 you eat, you don't get to choose when you're sleep, 0:37:53.640 --> 0:37:55.439 you don't get to choose what you're doing. You don't 0:37:55.480 --> 0:37:57.920 know what's happening, you don't have any sort of idea 0:37:57.960 --> 0:37:59.479 of how the day is going to roll out. And 0:37:59.560 --> 0:38:01.719 the minute that I was able to in my head 0:38:01.760 --> 0:38:05.920 go relinquish control and just deal with the situations as 0:38:05.920 --> 0:38:08.160 they come, I think that's when you really start to 0:38:09.080 --> 0:38:13.080 be able to just process things, you know, in time. 0:38:13.239 --> 0:38:15.359 So it's like, Okay, this is the task we're doing now, Yeah, 0:38:15.440 --> 0:38:17.400 be present and this is the task we're doing. Now. 0:38:17.560 --> 0:38:20.080 Deal with this task and everything else that comes after 0:38:20.120 --> 0:38:21.719 it will deal with that after, Like this is we're 0:38:21.760 --> 0:38:24.120 eating now, Like eat your food now, and then think 0:38:24.160 --> 0:38:27.279 about what's happening after that. And and I think that 0:38:27.360 --> 0:38:29.239 you know, that definitely took a couple of days just 0:38:29.280 --> 0:38:31.759 to get used to that and get used to the 0:38:31.800 --> 0:38:33.520 fact that you have no idea and you have no 0:38:33.520 --> 0:38:34.960 control over anything whatsoever. 0:38:35.800 --> 0:38:39.080 And you know, once you you do see some of 0:38:39.239 --> 0:38:40.000 the people like. 0:38:40.040 --> 0:38:44.560 Start to not struggle, but you know, there's areas in 0:38:44.600 --> 0:38:47.120 their life that you know they're you know, they might 0:38:47.120 --> 0:38:49.320 be really yeah, they might be really physically strong, but 0:38:49.360 --> 0:38:51.800 then they were able to do this particular tasking like Okay, 0:38:51.840 --> 0:38:54.600 well I'm I'm not the strongest, but I was able 0:38:54.600 --> 0:38:56.759 to do this, or you know, I'm able to you know, 0:38:57.080 --> 0:39:00.840 problem solve this, or I've been able to do yeah, yeah, exactly. 0:39:01.080 --> 0:39:03.799 And that's when you know, after the first few days, 0:39:03.840 --> 0:39:07.640 I was like, Okay, I think I think I can 0:39:08.040 --> 0:39:10.520 get through this. And I knew in my head that 0:39:10.600 --> 0:39:13.120 I wasn't going to quit, Like there was no part 0:39:13.160 --> 0:39:15.280 of me that was going to give you my number. 0:39:15.400 --> 0:39:16.800 You would have had to take my number. 0:39:16.960 --> 0:39:20.480 And I didn't think that I would get to the end, 0:39:20.680 --> 0:39:23.000 but I didn't think that I would give up. 0:39:23.120 --> 0:39:24.920 I knew that you would have to get rid of me. 0:39:25.320 --> 0:39:29.840 Was there any stage that you thought that your number 0:39:29.920 --> 0:39:31.120 was close to coming off? 0:39:31.760 --> 0:39:34.280 I think at the end, I think it was the 0:39:34.320 --> 0:39:36.719 second last day or third last day, and we were 0:39:36.760 --> 0:39:41.080 down to four. We were down to four, and we 0:39:41.200 --> 0:39:43.759 were we were all tethered on the rope, and we 0:39:43.840 --> 0:39:47.800 went You took us to some like mud manslows, mangras, 0:39:47.840 --> 0:39:50.000 and it had been raining and it was freezing cold, 0:39:50.440 --> 0:39:52.640 and we were all tethered and we basically had to 0:39:52.680 --> 0:39:54.719 you know, run from one end to the other to 0:39:55.080 --> 0:39:57.279 retrieve the package or whatever it was. 0:39:57.600 --> 0:40:00.440 And if you submission times it was time sensitive. 0:40:00.520 --> 0:40:03.920 Yeah, and you know, if you the whole idea of 0:40:03.960 --> 0:40:06.239 this was to I have a sacrifice yourself if yeah, 0:40:06.320 --> 0:40:09.799 you're holding the team back or the team had had 0:40:09.840 --> 0:40:10.440 to yeah. 0:40:10.719 --> 0:40:12.160 Say sort of times done. 0:40:12.239 --> 0:40:14.120 And we were carrying we also were carrying I think 0:40:14.160 --> 0:40:17.800 twenty kilos or something, and so you know, I felt 0:40:17.880 --> 0:40:20.120 like I was I could have done the task, but 0:40:20.280 --> 0:40:23.640 carrying the package as well as running through the swamp, 0:40:23.719 --> 0:40:26.880 I was starting to struggle physically, and we were with 0:40:27.000 --> 0:40:29.600 locky locks. So we had Lockey Gilbert, Darius Boy and 0:40:29.640 --> 0:40:33.239 Millie Boy or myself and Melissa were and Melissa was 0:40:33.320 --> 0:40:36.600 also starting to struggle and I think she got d 0:40:36.880 --> 0:40:38.640 like she got dropped. So then we were down to 0:40:38.719 --> 0:40:41.799 just the four of us, and it was it meant 0:40:41.840 --> 0:40:44.000 that Locke and Darius had to do a lot of 0:40:44.000 --> 0:40:46.400 the heavy lifting because I just wasn't able to physically 0:40:46.440 --> 0:40:50.000 hold the package as long as what they were able to. 0:40:51.120 --> 0:40:53.440 And you know, this is what like day twelve or 0:40:53.480 --> 0:40:53.799 something like. 0:40:53.840 --> 0:40:54.560 It was pretty quiet. 0:40:54.840 --> 0:40:58.200 It was quite Yeah, So there was a point there 0:40:58.239 --> 0:41:02.680 where I thought, is it better for me to not 0:41:02.760 --> 0:41:03.120 give up? 0:41:03.160 --> 0:41:03.719 But is it better? 0:41:03.880 --> 0:41:05.759 Is it better for the team that I that I, um, 0:41:06.080 --> 0:41:09.560 you know, unhook myself because I think I'm now starting 0:41:09.560 --> 0:41:13.440 to bring them down. And then I just this recurring 0:41:13.440 --> 0:41:16.319 thought in my head always throughout the whole entire time, 0:41:16.480 --> 0:41:19.440 was like this, this will end, Like this task is 0:41:19.480 --> 0:41:21.720 really hard now, but it will end and then you'll 0:41:22.200 --> 0:41:23.680 be done with it and you'll never have to do 0:41:23.719 --> 0:41:25.480 it again until the next time we do a task. 0:41:25.560 --> 0:41:28.840 But everything ends, you know, every beasting ended, and every 0:41:28.880 --> 0:41:31.880 task would end, and every you know, whatever it was. 0:41:31.960 --> 0:41:33.879 And in my head I'm like, no, don't quit now, 0:41:33.920 --> 0:41:35.799 Like what we might have another ten minutes, you might 0:41:35.840 --> 0:41:38.759 have another hour, but it's not forever, Like you can 0:41:38.800 --> 0:41:39.680 hang on. 0:41:41.680 --> 0:41:43.680 I figure, I smashed you for the good five k 0:41:43.880 --> 0:41:45.680 through their angos and then. 0:41:45.560 --> 0:41:49.560 You made us run back to the vehicles as well afterwards. 0:41:49.560 --> 0:41:52.359 But that was probably the only time throughout it, all 0:41:52.440 --> 0:41:54.719 of it where I was very close to going. I 0:41:54.760 --> 0:41:57.240 think that I need to sacrifice myself because the team 0:41:57.280 --> 0:42:00.319 is now starting to you know, it becomes slower because 0:42:00.360 --> 0:42:00.520 of me. 0:42:00.840 --> 0:42:02.520 Yeah, it was it like standing there at the end, 0:42:02.560 --> 0:42:05.279 so they you stood there, did you care if your 0:42:05.280 --> 0:42:06.680 past or failed at this stage? 0:42:07.120 --> 0:42:09.680 I did, Yeah, I think because you got so far 0:42:09.800 --> 0:42:11.880 and I would have hated to get that far. And 0:42:11.920 --> 0:42:13.960 then you you know, you just say, oh, you haven't passed. 0:42:13.960 --> 0:42:16.560 So it was a surreal moment. It was hard to 0:42:16.719 --> 0:42:20.600 actually comprehend that, you know, you'd said we'd all passed, 0:42:20.640 --> 0:42:25.920 and to be alongside Million and Darius was just amazing 0:42:27.040 --> 0:42:29.440 a moment. And I think because it was a TV 0:42:29.520 --> 0:42:31.719 show like it's but it was more than that. 0:42:31.800 --> 0:42:32.960 It was more than a TV show. 0:42:33.000 --> 0:42:36.600 It was an experience of my life that showed how 0:42:36.640 --> 0:42:38.440 strong I was, and it was a bit of a 0:42:39.160 --> 0:42:41.279 I don't know, it was like a relief after all 0:42:41.320 --> 0:42:43.720 the horrible things that had happened in the year prior, 0:42:43.840 --> 0:42:46.160 and the horrible times that my family had had and 0:42:46.200 --> 0:42:49.000 the hard days, and it was like I did it, 0:42:49.040 --> 0:42:51.440 like I Actually it was kind of like the It 0:42:51.480 --> 0:42:54.640 was like the moment I felt like I got through. 0:42:54.719 --> 0:42:56.960 I got through more than what the TV show was. 0:42:57.000 --> 0:43:01.000 I got through twelve months of hell and I did it, 0:43:01.040 --> 0:43:05.239 and you know, I survived and yeah, it was. It 0:43:05.280 --> 0:43:08.439 was more than what just passing a TV show? What's 0:43:08.480 --> 0:43:09.239 it been meant? More? 0:43:09.600 --> 0:43:12.200 You feel like you can tackle anything after, don't you? 0:43:12.200 --> 0:43:15.160 You know, your self belief, your self confidence? How well 0:43:15.160 --> 0:43:17.799 has that served you? Because when I look at most 0:43:17.840 --> 0:43:21.800 of my recruits that succeed and I look at their careers, 0:43:22.040 --> 0:43:23.960 I do follow you very closely, whether you like it 0:43:24.040 --> 0:43:26.160 or not, I've always got an eye you seem to 0:43:26.280 --> 0:43:29.560 just put you know, just go. And I'm not saying 0:43:29.560 --> 0:43:31.319 that you'll succeed at everything that you do, but you 0:43:31.360 --> 0:43:33.680 don't seem unphased with life. You feel like yet you 0:43:33.680 --> 0:43:36.360 can tackle anything. How important was that course for your 0:43:36.400 --> 0:43:38.400 self confidence and self belief? 0:43:38.680 --> 0:43:39.360 It was huge? 0:43:39.400 --> 0:43:39.600 You know. 0:43:39.800 --> 0:43:43.200 I think you know when I walked into that room 0:43:43.600 --> 0:43:46.680 the fourteen days beforehand and you know, being really intimidated 0:43:46.800 --> 0:43:49.680 and quite you know, that real imposter syndrome, like I 0:43:49.719 --> 0:43:51.600 absolutely you know, I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve 0:43:51.640 --> 0:43:53.080 to be here. I'm not a famous person, I'm not 0:43:53.080 --> 0:43:54.440 an athlete all that sort of stuff. I'm not the 0:43:54.480 --> 0:43:57.359 strongest person here. And then to be there standing at 0:43:57.360 --> 0:44:00.319 the end, and it does huge things for you know, 0:44:00.360 --> 0:44:03.359 self confidence and just not having belief in yourself and 0:44:04.080 --> 0:44:06.799 having the confidence to go, you know, even though this 0:44:06.880 --> 0:44:09.319 is this is scary or this is a huge fear 0:44:09.360 --> 0:44:11.480 for me, it's like you've just got a charge forward 0:44:11.680 --> 0:44:14.920 and you work out, you work out the rest, you know, 0:44:15.000 --> 0:44:18.560 and it's it was massive and I think for me 0:44:18.800 --> 0:44:20.960 because I've had because of what had happened in the 0:44:21.040 --> 0:44:24.759 year before, it was it was a real like this 0:44:24.840 --> 0:44:26.799 is the start of the next chapter for me, Like 0:44:26.840 --> 0:44:29.160 it'd been a really hot, hard year, I'd lost my job, 0:44:29.200 --> 0:44:31.600 there was lots of uncertainty with what was happening with myself, 0:44:31.640 --> 0:44:33.920 and it was almost like, yeah, this is the turning 0:44:33.960 --> 0:44:37.080 point for me for my career, for what I do 0:44:37.160 --> 0:44:39.840 with my life, for how I see things, you know, 0:44:39.960 --> 0:44:42.879 making sure that I make the most of every opportunity 0:44:42.960 --> 0:44:45.520 that comes before me, whether that be just in my 0:44:45.560 --> 0:44:48.360 personal life, saying yes, doing things that I want to 0:44:48.400 --> 0:44:53.120 do for myself. And it was a huge shift in 0:44:53.200 --> 0:44:55.879 my mindset into like, right, you know, we only have 0:44:56.040 --> 0:44:58.920 this one very short life that is so precious, and 0:44:59.000 --> 0:45:02.000 I've been given this opportunit unity to listen to yourself, 0:45:02.280 --> 0:45:04.200 to listen to all of the other directing staff. For 0:45:04.239 --> 0:45:07.319 the last couple of weeks, and you guys were so 0:45:07.400 --> 0:45:09.720 gracious in sharing some of the stories that you guys 0:45:09.719 --> 0:45:12.040 have had in the things that you've done in your 0:45:12.080 --> 0:45:15.920 lives and what you've experienced, and how lucky I was 0:45:16.040 --> 0:45:19.160 to be part of that and have that very unique 0:45:19.200 --> 0:45:22.040 experience that not many people in this world will get. 0:45:22.560 --> 0:45:25.560 And I need to now use this and do the 0:45:25.600 --> 0:45:26.880 things I want to do in my life. 0:45:27.360 --> 0:45:31.399 Arianna, if you're the it pits me off Seese every opportunity, 0:45:32.560 --> 0:45:36.440 then you know you've certainly shared that message. There final 0:45:36.640 --> 0:45:40.680 question for you since then, you know, since your fractured 0:45:40.800 --> 0:45:44.080 ribs and your broken finger, and now that you've fully recovered, 0:45:45.120 --> 0:45:49.560 you've since had a beautiful baby boy. Now easier future 0:45:49.719 --> 0:45:50.560 sas recruit. 0:45:50.880 --> 0:45:53.800 Oh look, he has unbelievable upper body strength. 0:45:53.960 --> 0:45:57.200 He can hang off a bar better than I can. 0:45:57.360 --> 0:46:01.319 So you just never never know. But maybe they can do. 0:46:01.440 --> 0:46:03.560 There's been a few babies since our seasons, so maybe 0:46:03.560 --> 0:46:05.360 they can be an sas kids and all the babies 0:46:05.400 --> 0:46:07.759 and all the kids can come together. But yeah, life 0:46:07.760 --> 0:46:11.320 has changed a lot. I've had a baby. He's nineteen 0:46:11.320 --> 0:46:14.680 months old. Now, he's just the best thing ever. You know, 0:46:14.719 --> 0:46:17.560 He's changed my life for so many different reasons, and 0:46:17.600 --> 0:46:19.880 he's just brought so much love and joy to me 0:46:20.000 --> 0:46:23.279 and my family and my mum in particular. So he 0:46:23.360 --> 0:46:26.360 has been the absolute you know, just shining light for 0:46:26.840 --> 0:46:31.320 our family. And yeah, lots lots of different things have happened, 0:46:31.360 --> 0:46:35.600 but I feel like now, yeah, we're just in a 0:46:35.600 --> 0:46:38.000 good spot. You know, life is challenging. Life is never 0:46:38.360 --> 0:46:41.279 never easy. It's never still even this year, I've learned that, 0:46:41.320 --> 0:46:42.960 you know, things. 0:46:42.600 --> 0:46:44.120 Can very easily turn around. 0:46:44.239 --> 0:46:48.160 But it's just a case of you know, making the most, 0:46:48.239 --> 0:46:51.040 as you said, of those opportunities and living, you know, 0:46:51.160 --> 0:46:55.480 living living life, like not just not just cruising and 0:46:55.520 --> 0:46:58.160 coasting through, like actually get out there and live and 0:46:58.200 --> 0:47:01.920 love hard. And you know, because as I've experienced, you 0:47:02.080 --> 0:47:04.160 just absolutely never know what's going to happen. 0:47:04.400 --> 0:47:06.839 I love that if you're being challenged, then guess what 0:47:06.840 --> 0:47:09.680 you're living because thinking you're growing and you're becoming a 0:47:09.719 --> 0:47:12.880 better version of who you are. Rihanna, I've loved having 0:47:12.880 --> 0:47:14.879 you on, I love seeing you, and I'm gonna nab 0:47:14.880 --> 0:47:16.360 that little one up of yours and he's gonna be 0:47:16.400 --> 0:47:19.600 a future sas Australia recruits. But I wish you all 0:47:19.600 --> 0:47:21.760 the best for the future. I'll been seeing you real soon. 0:47:22.840 --> 0:47:25.000 Thank you ever so much for coming on Headgame. Thank 0:47:25.080 --> 0:47:29.399 you to find out more about Rihanna head to ranacorean 0:47:29.680 --> 0:47:33.880 dot com. Thanks for joining me on this episode of Headgame. 0:47:34.280 --> 0:47:37.239 If you love listening to this podcast, please share it 0:47:37.280 --> 0:47:40.120 with a friend or you can leave me a review 0:47:40.280 --> 0:47:44.799 on your favorite listening platform. I'm Att Middleton. See you 0:47:45.239 --> 0:47:47.760 in the next episode.