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Speaker 1: We'd like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: on which this podcast was produced, the Galligle people of

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Speaker 1: the Urination. We pay our respects to elders past and present.

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Speaker 2: It's March twenty twenty two and we're on top of

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Speaker 2: a cliff on the south coast of New South Wales.

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Speaker 2: I'm there along with the other members of the DS

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Speaker 2: to announce the fate of the final three says recruits.

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Speaker 2: For the last fourteen days, they've been pushed to their physical,

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Speaker 2: psychological and emotional limits. Number seven, Rhanna Korean, is anxiously

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Speaker 2: waiting shoulder to shoulder with Darius Boyd and Millie Boil.

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Speaker 2: We started with fourteen hopeful recruits and now just three remain.

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Speaker 2: It's time to break the news. You have all passed selection.

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Speaker 2: With five cracked ribs and a broken finger, Rhianna smiles

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Speaker 2: from ear to ear despite the pain. But this isn't

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Speaker 2: Rihanna's first time smiling through the pain. I'm Att Middleton

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Speaker 2: and this is head Game today. Rhianna Krean on the

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Speaker 2: hardest year of her life. My next guess on the

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Speaker 2: head Game is none other than number seven. No, it's

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Speaker 2: not number seven. The SAS days are coming back and

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Speaker 2: she's sweating in front of me right now. So we

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Speaker 2: will dive into that, but we have Rihanna Crean super

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Speaker 2: honored to have you here and on my podcast.

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Speaker 3: Rhanna.

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Speaker 2: Now we go back quite some especially with me screaming

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Speaker 2: and shouting at you on SAS Australia and you obviously

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Speaker 2: making it to the end and passing the selection process.

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Speaker 2: How are you have you recovered? Oh?

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Speaker 4: Look, and I'm good to say.

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Speaker 3: I'm not sure anyone will ever recover from SAS Australia,

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Speaker 3: but there is probably the number one question I get

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Speaker 3: asked when you know, people see me, particularly at work

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Speaker 3: at supercar events, is what was says like?

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Speaker 4: Was it really real? Is he mean that? They're like

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Speaker 4: the three consistent questions?

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Speaker 2: So is he really the a hole that he comes

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Speaker 2: to thought?

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Speaker 4: He's like a gentle giant, absolutely not mean at all.

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Speaker 3: But look, very fond memories I think aunt from our

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Speaker 3: time there and an experience that I'm incredibly grateful to

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Speaker 3: have had because just yeah, there's no other way that

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Speaker 3: you'd actually get to experience what we experience. And it's

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Speaker 3: hard to actually explain to people what it was like

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Speaker 3: because unless you were there and in amongst it and

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Speaker 3: sharing those same memories.

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Speaker 4: It's very hard to put into words, but yeah, fond.

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Speaker 3: Memories in inverted commas, and it's a great honor to

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Speaker 3: be on.

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Speaker 4: Your pod aunt.

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Speaker 2: You've had a few difficult years leading up to SAS,

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Speaker 2: which we'd talk about briefly, but talk to me about

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Speaker 2: your childhood and where it sort of all started. Where

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Speaker 2: you were a fun loving sort of speed demon, because yeah,

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Speaker 2: because of the cars at a young age, or we

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Speaker 2: just have a normal childhood.

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Speaker 3: Oh, look, I would say it was a pretty normal childhood.

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Speaker 3: I grew up in a really loving family. I've got

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Speaker 3: an older sister and a younger brother, and my mum

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Speaker 3: and dad were childhood sweethearts and were together I think

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Speaker 3: when they were like fifteen and sixteen years old. And

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Speaker 3: we grew up, you know, not wealthy, but us kids

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Speaker 3: certainly never went without. My parents worked really really hard

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Speaker 3: to ensure that we were given the best opportunities we

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Speaker 3: could to succeed in life, and just had a really

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Speaker 3: really loving family and loving childhood. I grew up on

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Speaker 3: a farm, so I was outdoors all the time, dirty

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Speaker 3: all the time, and I loved it. I'm very lucky

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Speaker 3: that that was the childhood that I had. I did

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Speaker 3: dancing as a young kid, and I think that those

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Speaker 3: early days in dancing really in still a lot of

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Speaker 3: the traits that I carry now with discipline and working

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Speaker 3: hard and you know, competition and wanting to be to

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Speaker 3: be the best in everything that I do. And I

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Speaker 3: was dancing from a really young age, like I was.

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Speaker 3: I think I was like eighteen months two years old

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Speaker 3: and then you know right up through to I was

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Speaker 3: sort of eighteen nineteen years old, and that was a

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Speaker 3: really high level. So I think that that in my

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Speaker 3: childhood really you know, put me in good shape to

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Speaker 3: work hard and to strive for success. And seeing both

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Speaker 3: of my parents just work really really hard in order

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Speaker 3: to give us the best opportunities we could, you know,

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Speaker 3: it's definitely shaped too. I am seeing my dad, you know,

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Speaker 3: work on a farm, you know, three hundred and sixty

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Speaker 3: five days a year.

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Speaker 4: There was no days off for him.

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Speaker 2: Ever.

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Speaker 3: My mum was a registered nurse and she still is

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Speaker 3: a registered nurse now to this day. So you know,

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Speaker 3: they both would work very very hard and just made

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Speaker 3: sure that us kids had everything we could possibly want.

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Speaker 2: So you used to jump in the tractor drive.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, there was plenty of plenty of that. It

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Speaker 4: was funny though.

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Speaker 3: The motors spot thing came at a at a when

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Speaker 3: I was older. I didn't have really any interest in

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Speaker 3: motorsport out as a kid up, but I did grow

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Speaker 3: up loving sport. I you know, did athletics, that did swimming,

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Speaker 3: I did all those things that that kids do and

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Speaker 3: I was pretty competitive in it as well. And the

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Speaker 3: motorspot things sort of came into my life as a

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Speaker 3: as an adult.

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Speaker 4: But yeah, definitely on the farm there was you know,

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Speaker 4: driving the light right on lawn mower.

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Speaker 3: There was out in the dirt that was chasing sheep,

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Speaker 3: you know, all that sort of stuff and just.

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Speaker 4: A really very traditional Australian childhood.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what. I love that because that's what

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Speaker 2: all kids want to do al to me, isn't it

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Speaker 2: as well? I've all around in the mud. They want

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Speaker 2: that jump on the their a's lap and drive the

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Speaker 2: tractor we left, you know, to sort of explore their

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Speaker 2: small world, you know, without without anyone telling them what

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Speaker 2: to do or that freedom. It does open your mind

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Speaker 2: up to exploration. It does open your mind up to adventure,

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Speaker 2: doesn't it.

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Speaker 3: As a yeah, yeah, absolutely, And I think I just

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Speaker 3: from I was always you know, from a young kid,

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Speaker 3: just wanted to strive for more. Was always just searching

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Speaker 3: to do more, and and you know, wanted to be

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Speaker 3: the best at whatever I did. And I don't know

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Speaker 3: if that was just came from you know, my parents

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Speaker 3: or just from what I did when I was you know,

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Speaker 3: it was dancing. Was that I didn't want to just

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Speaker 3: you know, settle for just mediocre. And I think that

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Speaker 3: that's sort of what's carried me throughout, you know, my years.

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Speaker 2: Motorsport. How how did you get into motorsport? Because it's

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Speaker 2: I suppose when you look at motorsport, it's such a

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Speaker 2: segue from from you know, the country life and from

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Speaker 2: being a down yeah, from being a dart all of

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Speaker 2: a sudden, I suppose you know, the fast and furious

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Speaker 2: pace of motorsport. How did you get into it?

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Speaker 4: It was a situation that I kind of fell into.

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Speaker 3: So at the time, I think I was eighteen or nineteen,

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Speaker 3: I was still living in Perth with my family, and

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Speaker 3: I finished school and I.

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Speaker 4: Was going to go to UNI.

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Speaker 3: But I went to UNI for a few months and

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Speaker 3: then decided, no, I'm going to I'm going to take

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Speaker 3: a step back. I'm going to do a few other

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Speaker 3: things before I actually commit to go into university.

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Speaker 4: And so I was doing just I was.

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Speaker 3: Doing professional dancing work, I was doing modeling work, I

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Speaker 3: was you know, working here and there, and then this

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Speaker 3: opportunity came up and I used to have a competition

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Speaker 3: called Miss V eight Supercar back in the day.

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Speaker 4: Don't they don't have it.

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Speaker 3: Anymore, sadly, the grid girls are starting to fade away,

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Speaker 3: but back in that day, it was what two thousand

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Speaker 3: and five, two thousand and six, and I.

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Speaker 4: Entered the competition.

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Speaker 3: Mum actually saw the ad and she's like, I think

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Speaker 3: you should do this, So off I went and turns

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Speaker 3: out I won the competition. So part of that was

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Speaker 3: for the following twelve months, I would travel with the supercars,

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Speaker 3: the Vight Supercars, go to all the events, work as

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Speaker 3: an ambassador, so to speak. And I, you know, that

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Speaker 3: was really my first ever sort of deep dive into

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Speaker 3: what car racing was and learned very quickly that that

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Speaker 3: I really loved it. And towards the end of the year,

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Speaker 3: when you know that year was coming to an end,

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Speaker 3: I sort of said to the people within the industry

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Speaker 3: that I was interested in working in television.

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Speaker 4: I'd done a lot of drama and.

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Speaker 3: Musical theater when I was at school, and that was

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Speaker 3: kind of a pathway that I wanted to head down.

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Speaker 4: And I said, look, i'd like to work in TV.

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Speaker 3: Do you think there's an opportunity for me to do

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Speaker 3: some work experience somewhere? And they essentially said yes, and

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Speaker 3: they said, if you can get yourself to the events,

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Speaker 3: and you know, you've got to sort of find your way,

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Speaker 3: and then we'll give you an opportunity. And the next

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Speaker 3: year that's what I did. I you know, flew myself

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Speaker 3: to the events. I'm not sure that it would be

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Speaker 3: okay to do that now, like in terms of you're

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Speaker 3: doing work experience, but you're covering all your expenses. But

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Speaker 3: I got myself there. I created an opportunity for myself.

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Speaker 3: I started, you know, working within the team, and then

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Speaker 3: it's kind of just you know, snowballed after that, and

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Speaker 3: I worked hard.

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Speaker 4: I sort of decided that this is what I wanted

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Speaker 4: to do and I.

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Speaker 3: Created a job for myself essentially, But how was it

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Speaker 3: going into an industry?

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Speaker 2: You know, your blonde hair, blue eyes, and this is

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Speaker 2: sort of a male dominant industry. How hard was it

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Speaker 2: to break through into that industry.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it was really hard, particularly you know, back then,

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Speaker 3: which is you know, sort of mid two thousands. I

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Speaker 3: suppose there wasn't necessarily as many women that you would

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Speaker 3: see nowadays on TV, particularly working you know, in a

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Speaker 3: sporting industry, particularly working in motorsport, which was predominantly male orientated,

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Speaker 3: you know, industry, and very strong men who you know,

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Speaker 3: like their cars, like their beer, that sort of thing.

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Speaker 3: So for a you know, what was I at the time,

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Speaker 3: I think I was nineteen years old. I'd come from

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Speaker 3: this pageant background, you know, dancing, modeling, musical theater, long

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Speaker 3: blonde hair.

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Speaker 2: And just them to the slaughter.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and basically it was a lamb to the slaughter.

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Speaker 3: So it was tough. Those first years were brutal. People

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Speaker 3: are very unkind, very very unkind. And look, I certainly

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Speaker 3: I was very green in my career as well, Like

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Speaker 3: I wasn't I wasn't good. I was okay, I hadn't

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Speaker 3: had a lot of experience. I hadn't gone to journalism

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Speaker 3: at university and studied, and so you know, I was

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Speaker 3: very very green in that industry, and I you know,

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Speaker 3: I did I get got eaten alive? And there were

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Speaker 3: times in those early days and they thought, is this

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Speaker 3: all worth it? You know, other comments on Facebook worth it?

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Speaker 3: Other comments that you hear behind your back worth it?

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Speaker 3: And I suppose, luckily, I'm pretty thick skinned. I mean,

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Speaker 3: there were certainly times where I, you know, would be

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Speaker 3: crying in the bathroom, going why am I doing this

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Speaker 3: to myself? But again it was like, this is what

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Speaker 3: I want to do. I'm going to make sure that,

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Speaker 3: you know, I do what I need to do to

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Speaker 3: be successful. And it meant that I worked harder than

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Speaker 3: other people. It meant that I knew that I had

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Speaker 3: no leeway. I couldn't make a mistake because if I

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Speaker 3: made a mistake that was.

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Speaker 4: Yet I'd be gone.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: I wasn't given the same sort of leeway as some

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Speaker 3: of the other people I was working.

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Speaker 4: And that was fine. I understood that that was the case.

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Speaker 3: But it just meant that I had to work harder

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Speaker 3: and I had to make sure that I was, you know,

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Speaker 3: on my A game all the time, and any anytime

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Speaker 3: I did make a mistake, it was it was coming

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Speaker 3: for me, that's for sure.

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Speaker 2: Perseverance what made you continue to persevere and what was

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Speaker 2: the turning point where you were I don't want to

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Speaker 2: say finally accepted, but where you felt like actually, you know,

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Speaker 2: you felt part of the crew, you felt part of

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Speaker 2: the team, and through your perseverance, when was that to

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Speaker 2: an end point?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, for sure.

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Speaker 3: I mean I think it would have been easier for

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Speaker 3: me to quit, particularly in those early days, Like I

240
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Speaker 3: had certainly bosses that were working the back in the

241
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Speaker 3: day that said to me, you know, look, I think

242
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Speaker 3: you've done a really you've done a solid job, but

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Speaker 3: this is probably the end of the road for you.

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Speaker 4: Like, I just can't see you go any any further.

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Speaker 3: I can't see a woman ever being in pit lane

246
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Speaker 3: for us, I can't see a female ever like fronting

247
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Speaker 3: our coverage. And so in the easier thing would be

248
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Speaker 3: to just shake his hand and say thanks very much

249
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Speaker 3: for the opportunity and go and do something else, but

250
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Speaker 3: I didn't. I sort of turned that into I'll shure

251
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Speaker 3: you mate.

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Speaker 2: You know I've seen that side kind of use a.

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Speaker 4: Few different words, but we'll keep it up. And it

254
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Speaker 4: was like, you know, o case, I'm going to prove what.

255
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Speaker 3: You guys are trying to doubt me for and and

256
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Speaker 3: keep fighting and keep you know, working my way throughout

257
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Speaker 3: the broadcast, and eventually was given an opportunity by you know,

258
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Speaker 3: another boss, to step up into the main broadcast, so

259
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Speaker 3: to speak. And and that was very scary. It was

260
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Speaker 3: I was very nervous. I still wasn't you know, I

261
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Speaker 3: still wasn't great at what I was doing, but that

262
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Speaker 3: he gave me, he gave me a shot, and I

263
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Speaker 3: really needed to make sure that I made the most

264
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Speaker 3: of that opportunity. And that was probably the point where

265
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Speaker 3: I thought, I didn't think I'd made it, but I

266
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Speaker 3: was like, I think, like, I'm on the right path this,

267
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Speaker 3: I'm doing what I should be doing.

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Speaker 2: Throughout your career, you've dealt with a lot. You've certainly

269
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Speaker 2: come through everything that's been put in front of you,

270
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Speaker 2: your one hundred percent survivor. You had the toughest year

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Speaker 2: of your life, didn't you in twenty twenty before you

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Speaker 2: came on SAS. And you know, I could see it

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Speaker 2: in your eyes that you know, there was some pain,

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Speaker 2: there was some suffering that you really wanted to sort

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Speaker 2: of purge or deal with. Take me back to twenty

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Speaker 2: twenty and that year of hell for you.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean I think so many people can probably relate.

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Speaker 3: You know, twenty twenty was such a horrible year for

279
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Speaker 3: so many reasons. Obviously COVID was one of.

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Speaker 4: The biggest reasons.

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Speaker 3: And you know, the start of the year at my

282
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Speaker 3: industry in terms of in terms of motorsport all started

283
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Speaker 3: to shut down and things were starting to look pretty

284
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Speaker 3: grim in terms of you know, how are we going

285
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Speaker 3: to continue racing, how are going to continue working My

286
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Speaker 3: husband Will, who races in v Itsu, because his team

287
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Speaker 3: actually shut down at the start of the year, so

288
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Speaker 3: he was essentially left unemployed totally out of his control

289
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Speaker 3: at the start of the year, which was a huge

290
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Speaker 3: blow for us as a family. And then I actually

291
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Speaker 3: got parked as well from my work because there just

292
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Speaker 3: wasn't the ability to take everyone traveling throughout the country

293
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Speaker 3: given you know, all of the lockdowns that Australia was

294
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Speaker 3: going through at the time, so it was like a

295
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Speaker 3: double blow in terms of both of us for employment.

296
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Speaker 4: And then I got a horrible phone call, a.

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Speaker 3: Phone call I'll never ever forget, from my sister to

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Speaker 3: say that my dad had had an event and wasn't

299
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Speaker 3: likely to survive. So we had to get to Perth.

300
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Speaker 3: We live in We live in Queensland, so that was

301
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Speaker 3: you know, up there was one of the worst days

302
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Speaker 3: of my life. And then we had to deal with

303
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Speaker 3: the challenge of the lockdowns in Australia at the time,

304
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Speaker 3: and you know, trying to get into Perth was a

305
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Speaker 3: challenge in itself. There was so few flights at the time,

306
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Speaker 3: and you know, we had to really basically, you know,

307
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Speaker 3: plead with the West Australian government to allow us to

308
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Speaker 3: come in so that I could see my dad.

309
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Speaker 4: And we were lucky, we were very lucky.

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Speaker 3: We were somehow got a lady who was just very

311
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Speaker 3: understanding and very empathetic, and you know, she made it work.

312
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Speaker 3: So we were able to fly to Perth a couple

313
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Speaker 3: of days later when there was a flight. But you know,

314
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Speaker 3: I knew that we were flying there to say goodbye.

315
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Speaker 3: It was it wasn't it wasn't going to be a

316
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Speaker 3: flight for anything else. It was just going to be

317
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Speaker 3: a flight that we would have to say goodbye to

318
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Speaker 3: my dad. And so that was you know, that was

319
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Speaker 3: absolutely the hardest, the hardest day of my life.

320
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Speaker 2: What was it like during those two days of knowing

321
00:16:00,720 --> 00:16:05,000
Speaker 2: that that your father was wasn't going to make it.

322
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Speaker 2: But knowing that, you know, those two days of waiting

323
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Speaker 2: and anticipation and obviously thoughts going through your head, you know,

324
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Speaker 2: of maybe not making it. What would those two days.

325
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Speaker 3: Like oh hard to put into words, and like obviously

326
00:16:23,400 --> 00:16:28,280
Speaker 3: just unimaginable grief and sadness, knowing you know what we

327
00:16:28,280 --> 00:16:30,400
Speaker 3: were going to be facing when we got there, but

328
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Speaker 3: just you know, so much anger at the world, so

329
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:37,640
Speaker 3: much anger at you know, governments in Australia for locking

330
00:16:37,640 --> 00:16:41,760
Speaker 3: people away and closing borders, and you know, such mixed

331
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Speaker 3: feelings because obviously, you know, at the time, you know,

332
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:47,080
Speaker 3: everybody believed that that was the best thing for the

333
00:16:47,080 --> 00:16:49,680
Speaker 3: country in order to be known, for people not to

334
00:16:49,680 --> 00:16:51,720
Speaker 3: be spreading things around. But you know, when you're on

335
00:16:51,720 --> 00:16:54,600
Speaker 3: the raw end of that, it was just anger, you know,

336
00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:57,440
Speaker 3: I just he just hated everyone. You hated, hated what

337
00:16:57,520 --> 00:17:00,520
Speaker 3: was happening, Hated the world, hated this horrible viruls, hated

338
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:03,320
Speaker 3: the fact that you know, people were getting locked away

339
00:17:03,320 --> 00:17:06,280
Speaker 3: from their family, and so you know, two days of

340
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:12,399
Speaker 3: just living in that space was was horrible. It's truly

341
00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,720
Speaker 3: why it was. It's I don't have any other words

342
00:17:14,760 --> 00:17:16,920
Speaker 3: to describe, but it was just like watching a clock

343
00:17:16,960 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 3: that was ticking so slowly, waiting, waiting for those minutes

344
00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,639
Speaker 3: to tick by, waiting for those seconds to tick by,

345
00:17:23,920 --> 00:17:28,160
Speaker 3: knowing that you know, we were hopeful that I would

346
00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,680
Speaker 3: get there so that I could say goodbye, but that

347
00:17:30,760 --> 00:17:33,280
Speaker 3: also wasn't a guarantee. So you know, we were sitting

348
00:17:33,600 --> 00:17:36,480
Speaker 3: in this space of you know, am I going to

349
00:17:36,520 --> 00:17:39,480
Speaker 3: actually be allowed to go there? Am I going to

350
00:17:39,560 --> 00:17:41,960
Speaker 3: make it in time to actually say goodbye to him?

351
00:17:42,280 --> 00:17:46,440
Speaker 3: You know, hurry up and just please let us get there. Yeah,

352
00:17:46,560 --> 00:17:49,400
Speaker 3: So it was there was so many emotions at the time.

353
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Speaker 3: And also and I hadn't even at the time, We

354
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:54,800
Speaker 3: were just living in that, we were living in those minutes.

355
00:17:54,840 --> 00:17:57,399
Speaker 3: We weren't even thinking about what this actually means, you know,

356
00:17:57,480 --> 00:17:59,760
Speaker 3: moving forward, and you know the fact that you know,

357
00:18:00,080 --> 00:18:05,560
Speaker 3: going to lose dad and our family was broken, you know, forever,

358
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:10,720
Speaker 3: our family would be broken because of this situation. So yeah,

359
00:18:10,760 --> 00:18:12,960
Speaker 3: it was horrible, but you know, at the same time,

360
00:18:13,760 --> 00:18:16,840
Speaker 3: I look back and I'm.

361
00:18:16,320 --> 00:18:18,640
Speaker 4: Forever grateful that I got to say goodbye.

362
00:18:19,320 --> 00:18:22,920
Speaker 3: There were so many people at that time that couldn't

363
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,480
Speaker 3: travel to see family, when able to have that final goodbye,

364
00:18:25,520 --> 00:18:28,639
Speaker 3: when't able to go to funerals. So you know, I

365
00:18:28,680 --> 00:18:32,440
Speaker 3: consider myself incredibly lucky that I had that. I had

366
00:18:32,480 --> 00:18:35,440
Speaker 3: that opportunity to say goodbye to him. I had the time,

367
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:37,800
Speaker 3: you know, I had the opportunity to go to Dad's funeral.

368
00:18:37,960 --> 00:18:40,399
Speaker 3: We were able to have because we were in Perth.

369
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,960
Speaker 3: Their restrictions weren't so bad, so we were actually able

370
00:18:42,960 --> 00:18:46,280
Speaker 3: to have a funeral for him. So, you know, I,

371
00:18:46,320 --> 00:18:48,840
Speaker 3: as much as it was the worst time of our life,

372
00:18:49,600 --> 00:18:51,440
Speaker 3: I do look back now and think, you know, I

373
00:18:52,119 --> 00:18:54,560
Speaker 3: am lucky I had that, because I don't know how

374
00:18:54,560 --> 00:18:57,160
Speaker 3: it would have been if I was denied that opportunity.

375
00:18:57,440 --> 00:19:01,600
Speaker 3: You know, Will and I we flew from Queensland to Perth,

376
00:19:02,359 --> 00:19:04,800
Speaker 3: which was, you know, probably one of the worst flights

377
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:06,879
Speaker 3: I've ever been on. You know, I didn't know that,

378
00:19:07,119 --> 00:19:08,879
Speaker 3: you know, all of a sudden, You've got no wife, I,

379
00:19:08,920 --> 00:19:10,680
Speaker 3: you've got no connection and it's a you know, five

380
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:13,520
Speaker 3: and ars six hour flight to Perth. So for that

381
00:19:13,560 --> 00:19:15,840
Speaker 3: period of time, again, it was just like a horrible

382
00:19:15,840 --> 00:19:17,880
Speaker 3: waiting game, looking up the seconds of the clock, looking

383
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:19,960
Speaker 3: at the minutes of the clock and knowing that, you

384
00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:21,520
Speaker 3: know what if when we land, I get the phone

385
00:19:21,520 --> 00:19:23,560
Speaker 3: call to say you know, we haven't made it on time,

386
00:19:23,680 --> 00:19:25,320
Speaker 3: so so that in and.

387
00:19:25,200 --> 00:19:26,080
Speaker 4: Itself was awful.

388
00:19:26,960 --> 00:19:30,200
Speaker 3: And then yeah, you know, arriving to the hospital, we

389
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,080
Speaker 3: were able to see him in the ICU.

390
00:19:32,240 --> 00:19:34,200
Speaker 4: He was, you know, he was he was.

391
00:19:34,119 --> 00:19:37,040
Speaker 3: Not conscious, he was I like to think he knew

392
00:19:37,080 --> 00:19:39,080
Speaker 3: that we were there, but you know, obviously we'll never know.

393
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,520
Speaker 4: And maybe he did know because he hung.

394
00:19:41,400 --> 00:19:44,639
Speaker 3: On you know, we got there and I had a

395
00:19:44,640 --> 00:19:47,879
Speaker 3: few moments with him before we lost him, so maybe

396
00:19:47,920 --> 00:19:48,520
Speaker 3: he did know.

397
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,119
Speaker 4: That we were coming and we were on that plane.

398
00:19:52,280 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 3: So but yeah, you know, we had to say goodbye,

399
00:19:55,680 --> 00:19:59,359
Speaker 3: and then I suppose after that it was dealing with

400
00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,280
Speaker 3: what lost, but also then having to quarantine for two

401
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 3: weeks because they're stupid, stupid rules at the time, So

402
00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:12,040
Speaker 3: you know, I spent two weeks then quarantined after saying

403
00:20:12,040 --> 00:20:17,800
Speaker 3: goodbye to Dad, which was in itself pretty rubbish situation

404
00:20:17,920 --> 00:20:18,320
Speaker 3: to be in.

405
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 2: But they know you by yourself.

406
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,800
Speaker 3: I was with Will, so you know, we I wasn't

407
00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:27,399
Speaker 3: totally by myself, but yeah, it was.

408
00:20:28,200 --> 00:20:29,000
Speaker 4: It was pretty rough.

409
00:20:29,040 --> 00:20:30,840
Speaker 3: You know, sometimes you just want to go for a

410
00:20:30,920 --> 00:20:32,480
Speaker 3: drive to the beach or like just go for a

411
00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,680
Speaker 3: walk and get out of the fresh air.

412
00:20:33,800 --> 00:20:35,720
Speaker 4: And we weren't able to do that, so that made

413
00:20:35,760 --> 00:20:36,479
Speaker 4: that pretty tricky.

414
00:20:36,560 --> 00:20:40,520
Speaker 3: But look, I'm I'm I'm very lucky and I've got

415
00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,439
Speaker 3: the most I hit the jackpot with my family, you know,

416
00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:46,000
Speaker 3: like my mom, my brother, my sister, you.

417
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:46,680
Speaker 4: Know, my dad.

418
00:20:46,720 --> 00:20:49,320
Speaker 3: We were all in We all are incredibly the host.

419
00:20:49,440 --> 00:20:52,439
Speaker 3: We speak to each other every single day. We are

420
00:20:52,480 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 3: absolutely each other's biggest supporter. And and I know how

421
00:20:57,280 --> 00:20:59,199
Speaker 3: like I am that I have that, and so you

422
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:02,840
Speaker 3: know that time was the worst time for us. But

423
00:21:02,840 --> 00:21:04,560
Speaker 3: but at the same time, you know, we we have

424
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:06,960
Speaker 3: each other and we always have been like that. So

425
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:11,080
Speaker 3: you know, you've, as you said, you know, you've got

426
00:21:11,119 --> 00:21:12,840
Speaker 3: to you've got to be able to pull positives out

427
00:21:12,880 --> 00:21:17,080
Speaker 3: of pretty shitty situations because otherwise you will spiral. And

428
00:21:17,160 --> 00:21:21,520
Speaker 3: I suppose I am I'm grateful that I have that

429
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:25,679
Speaker 3: in me. I'm able to to see that, you know,

430
00:21:25,960 --> 00:21:29,600
Speaker 3: when when the days are dark, that there's always still hope,

431
00:21:30,040 --> 00:21:31,800
Speaker 3: because if you haven't, if you don't have hope, you know,

432
00:21:32,960 --> 00:21:34,160
Speaker 3: it's it's pretty grim.

433
00:21:34,200 --> 00:21:37,280
Speaker 4: So you know, we've just always looked at what we have,

434
00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 4: and we have.

435
00:21:37,840 --> 00:21:40,919
Speaker 3: Each other, and you know, we had amazing times with Dad.

436
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:47,520
Speaker 3: We had an amazing childhood and and you know, I'm lucky.

437
00:21:47,240 --> 00:21:47,760
Speaker 4: That I had that.

438
00:21:48,640 --> 00:21:52,600
Speaker 2: So you and your husband both lost your jobs, your

439
00:21:52,800 --> 00:21:58,480
Speaker 2: your father passes away, you're lockdown, and you still manage

440
00:21:58,640 --> 00:22:03,600
Speaker 2: to come through a positive mindset all the way to

441
00:22:03,680 --> 00:22:06,359
Speaker 2: twenty twenty one, where you decided to do an Iron

442
00:22:06,400 --> 00:22:09,680
Speaker 2: Man out of everything that could have possibly have gone wrong.

443
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:13,760
Speaker 2: You what, when did that decision, you know, come into fruition?

444
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: When did you think, right, listen, enough's enough, We've got

445
00:22:16,840 --> 00:22:19,159
Speaker 2: to get back in the game. Yeah, I'm gonna do it,

446
00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:22,520
Speaker 2: and I am. I can understand a half marathon, maybe

447
00:22:22,560 --> 00:22:25,679
Speaker 2: a maraffon or maybe a little fun run or something,

448
00:22:25,720 --> 00:22:28,520
Speaker 2: but yeah, an iron that's hardcore. I owe you a

449
00:22:28,600 --> 00:22:31,800
Speaker 2: hardcore anyway, because I've seen it firsthand. But you know,

450
00:22:31,920 --> 00:22:37,199
Speaker 2: someone that's looking from the outside in your situation of

451
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,840
Speaker 2: of of trauma, of dread, of you know, of looking

452
00:22:40,840 --> 00:22:42,760
Speaker 2: into this dark cloud, and all of a sudden you

453
00:22:42,800 --> 00:22:44,679
Speaker 2: pop out of it and you go, right, this is

454
00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,000
Speaker 2: what I'm gonna do? What? What? What the hell made

455
00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,040
Speaker 2: you you decide to do that?

456
00:22:48,520 --> 00:22:51,360
Speaker 3: Well, to be honest with you, you know, there there

457
00:22:51,400 --> 00:22:53,600
Speaker 3: was dark days. There was really dark days, and there

458
00:22:53,680 --> 00:22:57,840
Speaker 3: was weeks where I didn't you know, feel like I

459
00:22:57,920 --> 00:23:00,280
Speaker 3: had not that I didn't have anything to live, but

460
00:23:00,520 --> 00:23:04,240
Speaker 3: you know, I didn't have some purpose so to speak.

461
00:23:04,280 --> 00:23:05,200
Speaker 4: You know, I'd lost my job.

462
00:23:05,240 --> 00:23:07,520
Speaker 3: I had this horrible you know, trauma with my dad,

463
00:23:07,600 --> 00:23:09,399
Speaker 3: and it was kind of like, well what now, Like

464
00:23:09,680 --> 00:23:11,280
Speaker 3: I don't even have a job to do, Like what

465
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:13,000
Speaker 3: am I going to do? And you know, I'd always

466
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:14,720
Speaker 3: like to keep fit, and i'd done if you know,

467
00:23:14,720 --> 00:23:16,440
Speaker 3: I've done some trifleons and things.

468
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:17,320
Speaker 4: Like that in the past.

469
00:23:17,440 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 3: And and there was a good couple of weeks where

470
00:23:19,720 --> 00:23:22,440
Speaker 3: I literally just didn't get out of bed because facing

471
00:23:22,440 --> 00:23:24,480
Speaker 3: the world was too hard at the time. You know,

472
00:23:24,560 --> 00:23:27,879
Speaker 3: it just I didn't have the energy to be sad.

473
00:23:27,920 --> 00:23:29,680
Speaker 3: I didn't have the energy to be happy. I just

474
00:23:30,119 --> 00:23:33,680
Speaker 3: wanted to just sit in, you know, in that space

475
00:23:33,840 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 3: I needed and I needed to I really did need

476
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:37,840
Speaker 3: to do that. But you know, then it came a

477
00:23:37,840 --> 00:23:40,280
Speaker 3: point where I'm like, I need to I can't do this.

478
00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,360
Speaker 3: You know, my dad wouldn't want any.

479
00:23:43,160 --> 00:23:46,480
Speaker 4: Of us to be just sitting here and not living.

480
00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 3: You know. He was all about living and doing you know,

481
00:23:48,680 --> 00:23:52,720
Speaker 3: crazy things, and always you know, was you know, the

482
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:55,000
Speaker 3: life of the party and was always the person that

483
00:23:55,119 --> 00:23:56,080
Speaker 3: was helping other people.

484
00:23:56,160 --> 00:23:57,880
Speaker 4: And and I.

485
00:23:57,880 --> 00:24:00,400
Speaker 3: Just I just entered a nine man and I'm right,

486
00:24:00,440 --> 00:24:02,439
Speaker 3: this is this is going to be my purpose for

487
00:24:02,520 --> 00:24:03,199
Speaker 3: the next you know.

488
00:24:03,240 --> 00:24:04,840
Speaker 4: However, many months I was going.

489
00:24:04,760 --> 00:24:06,679
Speaker 2: To get into or do you just go, I'm just

490
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:08,840
Speaker 2: going to into an eye am out it's high school.

491
00:24:09,600 --> 00:24:12,240
Speaker 3: I had a little bit of a and I actually no,

492
00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:14,800
Speaker 3: I did have an idea, but yeah, once I started

493
00:24:14,800 --> 00:24:17,320
Speaker 3: the training, like oh wow, this is like this is

494
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:20,520
Speaker 3: this is a lot lot of training. But it was

495
00:24:20,560 --> 00:24:22,680
Speaker 3: my reason. You know, it was my thing that every

496
00:24:22,760 --> 00:24:24,760
Speaker 3: day I didn't have an excuse. I couldn't lay in

497
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,720
Speaker 3: bed all day. I needed to get up and do

498
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,320
Speaker 3: the training. I had to get up and ride my

499
00:24:28,359 --> 00:24:30,520
Speaker 3: bike or go for a run. And I mean, you

500
00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:32,600
Speaker 3: know what it's like, and you know, just the endorphins

501
00:24:32,600 --> 00:24:36,720
Speaker 3: and feeling physically good makes you feel mentally good and

502
00:24:36,720 --> 00:24:39,320
Speaker 3: and just spark something within you when you when you

503
00:24:39,359 --> 00:24:42,080
Speaker 3: get moving and when you start to accomplish things like okay,

504
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:43,520
Speaker 3: I've just done a ten k run, or now I've

505
00:24:43,520 --> 00:24:45,200
Speaker 3: done a fourteen k run, or now I've done this,

506
00:24:45,280 --> 00:24:46,920
Speaker 3: and you know that all of a sudden, you've got

507
00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:48,480
Speaker 3: that you know.

508
00:24:48,480 --> 00:24:49,639
Speaker 4: That that feel good energy.

509
00:24:49,760 --> 00:24:53,600
Speaker 3: Yeah, and that purpose and and that's really what got

510
00:24:53,640 --> 00:24:57,239
Speaker 3: me through those next few months was the fact that

511
00:24:57,320 --> 00:25:02,920
Speaker 3: you know, after so much sad and bad news and darkness,

512
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,720
Speaker 3: that you know, I had some something to work towards.

513
00:25:06,800 --> 00:25:09,760
Speaker 3: And the Trithon community is such a beautiful community. You know,

514
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:13,199
Speaker 3: people from all walks of life are doing trifle, you know,

515
00:25:13,320 --> 00:25:16,480
Speaker 3: and I've just found it. It's such a beautiful bunch

516
00:25:16,520 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 3: of people that are so supportive. And I really got

517
00:25:19,320 --> 00:25:22,640
Speaker 3: into the spirit of it. I was, you know, training

518
00:25:22,640 --> 00:25:25,200
Speaker 3: every single day. I had a coach who set me

519
00:25:25,240 --> 00:25:27,639
Speaker 3: out my program and told me what I needed to do,

520
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:30,320
Speaker 3: and yeah, just got stuck in.

521
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:33,000
Speaker 2: You know what. I love that And I love what

522
00:25:33,040 --> 00:25:37,000
Speaker 2: you mentioned there about just getting up and moving. And

523
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:41,639
Speaker 2: that's why you hear me shout on essays, because just

524
00:25:41,800 --> 00:25:44,560
Speaker 2: that action, you know, no matter how down you feel.

525
00:25:44,600 --> 00:25:46,199
Speaker 2: And I always say this to people who ask for

526
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:47,760
Speaker 2: a bit of advice when they say to me, and

527
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:50,840
Speaker 2: you know, I can't get off the couch, I can't

528
00:25:50,840 --> 00:25:55,000
Speaker 2: get out of bed, and I say, just move. It's

529
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:57,600
Speaker 2: so important that when you're feeling like this, when you

530
00:25:57,640 --> 00:26:00,399
Speaker 2: feel like you know you can't go on, and that

531
00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:02,679
Speaker 2: life is too much, and so all I say to

532
00:26:02,720 --> 00:26:05,680
Speaker 2: people is move. And like you said as well, when

533
00:26:05,720 --> 00:26:09,080
Speaker 2: you move, it stimulates the mind because guess what, when

534
00:26:09,119 --> 00:26:12,320
Speaker 2: you actually move, you are problem solving, you know, a

535
00:26:12,440 --> 00:26:15,240
Speaker 2: hundred things at once. You know, just we're subconsciously, where

536
00:26:15,240 --> 00:26:16,399
Speaker 2: am I going to put my foot? How am I

537
00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,800
Speaker 2: going to balance myself? How am I going to stand up?

538
00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:21,600
Speaker 2: You know, you subconsciously your mind kicks in and it

539
00:26:21,960 --> 00:26:26,080
Speaker 2: triggers stuff. And obviously you moved in quite a drastic

540
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:27,640
Speaker 2: and challenging way.

541
00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,320
Speaker 3: You don't necessarily need do an I am but exactly,

542
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,960
Speaker 3: but yeah, it is. It's just that it's feeling of

543
00:26:33,280 --> 00:26:36,640
Speaker 3: accomplishment as well. And you know, even now I've had

544
00:26:36,680 --> 00:26:38,640
Speaker 3: some we've had a pretty rough start to the year.

545
00:26:38,720 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 3: My mum's been unwell, and and you know, I would

546
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,320
Speaker 3: run every day even though we you know, we're visiting

547
00:26:43,359 --> 00:26:44,840
Speaker 3: her in the hospital, and people would say, you know,

548
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:47,320
Speaker 3: why are you bother running? And I'm like, because that's

549
00:26:47,359 --> 00:26:50,120
Speaker 3: what that's what I need. I need to do that,

550
00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,800
Speaker 3: you know, I need. You know, some people listen to

551
00:26:52,960 --> 00:26:55,600
Speaker 3: loud music, some people will meditate, something more might do yoga,

552
00:26:55,680 --> 00:26:59,439
Speaker 3: you know, some people whatever. But like, yeah, for me

553
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:02,000
Speaker 3: movement and it doesn't have to be in that I'm

554
00:27:02,000 --> 00:27:04,320
Speaker 3: smashing myself and doing a marathon. It's just I just

555
00:27:04,359 --> 00:27:06,119
Speaker 3: need to get out and just be you know, be

556
00:27:06,280 --> 00:27:09,520
Speaker 3: outside and just moving, and that's what gets me through,

557
00:27:09,680 --> 00:27:10,880
Speaker 3: you know, the tough times.

558
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:17,240
Speaker 2: So moving on to the Iron Man, how did you do? Look?

559
00:27:17,280 --> 00:27:20,359
Speaker 3: I did okay. I had no I had no goal,

560
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:22,280
Speaker 3: not even have a goal. I wanted to finish.

561
00:27:22,359 --> 00:27:22,960
Speaker 2: That was my goal.

562
00:27:23,280 --> 00:27:24,359
Speaker 4: Yeah, I wanted to complete it.

563
00:27:24,440 --> 00:27:26,920
Speaker 3: I didn't have any you know, time in my head

564
00:27:26,920 --> 00:27:29,440
Speaker 3: that I needed to be done by, and to be honest,

565
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:31,240
Speaker 3: I just wanted to get to the start line. Because

566
00:27:31,760 --> 00:27:34,800
Speaker 3: if anyone's ever you know, done an iron Man, they

567
00:27:34,880 --> 00:27:37,879
Speaker 3: understand that. You know, the training in itself is probably

568
00:27:37,960 --> 00:27:39,800
Speaker 3: the most difficult part. You know, you're training for a

569
00:27:39,840 --> 00:27:42,439
Speaker 3: three point eight k swim, one hundred and eighty k

570
00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,200
Speaker 3: bike ride, and then a marathon to finish forty two ks.

571
00:27:45,240 --> 00:27:47,840
Speaker 3: So to train for that event, you know, you need

572
00:27:47,880 --> 00:27:50,679
Speaker 3: to be doing two three four hours a day of

573
00:27:50,720 --> 00:27:53,440
Speaker 3: training to be able just to get through. So I

574
00:27:53,880 --> 00:27:56,000
Speaker 3: wanted to get to the start line without being injured

575
00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:59,080
Speaker 3: and without you know, burning myself out. And I knew

576
00:27:59,119 --> 00:28:00,639
Speaker 3: that once I got to the star art line that

577
00:28:00,760 --> 00:28:02,439
Speaker 3: I would get to the finish line. I knew that

578
00:28:02,480 --> 00:28:04,480
Speaker 3: I would finish it regardless of how long it would

579
00:28:04,480 --> 00:28:04,800
Speaker 3: take me.

580
00:28:05,880 --> 00:28:06,400
Speaker 4: And I did.

581
00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,240
Speaker 3: I finished it okay. I had a pretty good swim.

582
00:28:09,400 --> 00:28:11,360
Speaker 3: My ride was okay. It was a pretty windy day,

583
00:28:11,400 --> 00:28:13,720
Speaker 3: so that was that. There was times during that ride

584
00:28:13,720 --> 00:28:15,920
Speaker 3: where I wanted to throw my bike off.

585
00:28:15,880 --> 00:28:18,560
Speaker 4: The off the bridge and never ever see it again.

586
00:28:19,080 --> 00:28:22,680
Speaker 3: And then the run for me, I always that's probably

587
00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:24,639
Speaker 3: my weakest leg. So I knew that, you know, it

588
00:28:24,720 --> 00:28:26,080
Speaker 3: was just going to be a bit of a shuffle,

589
00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:29,520
Speaker 3: like a walk jog type thing. And and once I

590
00:28:29,560 --> 00:28:31,639
Speaker 3: got onto the run leg, you know you're essentially at

591
00:28:31,640 --> 00:28:33,480
Speaker 3: the end, even though you've got you know, a marathon

592
00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:35,359
Speaker 3: to go. But I knew that if I got to

593
00:28:35,400 --> 00:28:37,200
Speaker 3: that point, I would a one hundred percent get to

594
00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:39,360
Speaker 3: the end and got to the end and cross the

595
00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:43,240
Speaker 3: finish line. And I actually I sculled a VB beer

596
00:28:44,400 --> 00:28:48,760
Speaker 3: For Australians, I'll understand a VB isn't usually the first

597
00:28:48,800 --> 00:28:50,800
Speaker 3: choice of beer, but that was my dad's favorite beer.

598
00:28:51,600 --> 00:28:53,880
Speaker 4: And on my hand throughout the.

599
00:28:53,920 --> 00:28:57,080
Speaker 3: Day, i'd written I'd written a little message in Penn

600
00:28:57,720 --> 00:28:59,600
Speaker 3: so I knew that there was you know, there was

601
00:29:00,200 --> 00:29:02,600
Speaker 3: going to be moments during the day that we're going

602
00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:05,120
Speaker 3: to be tough, and I needed to hang on because

603
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,080
Speaker 3: Dad hung on for me. So that was kind of

604
00:29:07,120 --> 00:29:09,440
Speaker 3: what got me through throughout the day and across the

605
00:29:09,440 --> 00:29:12,800
Speaker 3: finish lane and skull the beer and yeah, that one

606
00:29:12,960 --> 00:29:18,520
Speaker 3: was for Dad.

607
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,320
Speaker 2: What I love about an iron Man is that you

608
00:29:25,360 --> 00:29:28,160
Speaker 2: know what you're doing. You just said about the swim,

609
00:29:28,480 --> 00:29:35,680
Speaker 2: the cycle, the run. However, Sas Australia you are chucked

610
00:29:35,800 --> 00:29:39,440
Speaker 2: into the fold their fear of the unknown, the fear

611
00:29:39,520 --> 00:29:42,560
Speaker 2: of not being good enough, fear you know, you don't

612
00:29:42,600 --> 00:29:44,880
Speaker 2: know what's happening, you don't know what's around the corner,

613
00:29:44,920 --> 00:29:47,640
Speaker 2: you don't know how to prepare, you can't prepare. Did

614
00:29:47,680 --> 00:29:51,440
Speaker 2: you think that the Iron Man prepared you for Sas.

615
00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 4: No, look yes and no.

616
00:29:54,840 --> 00:29:58,080
Speaker 3: Like in some ways it kind of like obviously cardio

617
00:29:58,120 --> 00:29:59,240
Speaker 3: fitness it prepared.

618
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:03,800
Speaker 4: It is fair. I hear that the emotional side, look

619
00:30:04,600 --> 00:30:05,640
Speaker 4: not not completely.

620
00:30:05,680 --> 00:30:08,000
Speaker 3: I think it put me in good shape to be

621
00:30:08,640 --> 00:30:11,080
Speaker 3: on the show. I think, you know, an iron Man's

622
00:30:11,080 --> 00:30:13,920
Speaker 3: not easy. It's it's a hard it's a hard thing

623
00:30:14,000 --> 00:30:17,040
Speaker 3: to do, and and it's you're on your own, you know,

624
00:30:17,080 --> 00:30:18,480
Speaker 3: particularly when you're on the bike.

625
00:30:18,560 --> 00:30:19,080
Speaker 4: You're on the bike.

626
00:30:19,240 --> 00:30:21,320
Speaker 3: I was on the bike for six and a half hours.

627
00:30:21,360 --> 00:30:23,280
Speaker 3: So you're on the bike for six and a half hours,

628
00:30:23,280 --> 00:30:25,160
Speaker 3: not talking to anyone. You don't have the ability to

629
00:30:25,200 --> 00:30:28,040
Speaker 3: listen to music or listen to a podcast. It's you,

630
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:29,479
Speaker 3: your bike and your thoughts.

631
00:30:29,920 --> 00:30:33,800
Speaker 2: The opportunity to listen to head game, you know, what

632
00:30:33,880 --> 00:30:34,800
Speaker 2: do you think come first?

633
00:30:35,400 --> 00:30:37,520
Speaker 3: And but it's you know, that's a long time where

634
00:30:37,520 --> 00:30:39,959
Speaker 3: you're in the hurt lock are you Your legs are

635
00:30:39,960 --> 00:30:43,120
Speaker 3: screaming at you. You know, your back's locked up, everything's hurting,

636
00:30:43,600 --> 00:30:47,520
Speaker 3: and and you've got your thoughts. And so in a

637
00:30:47,560 --> 00:30:51,520
Speaker 3: way I suppose I had, you know, a taste of

638
00:30:51,520 --> 00:30:54,040
Speaker 3: of that kind of mentality and the taste of being

639
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:55,880
Speaker 3: in that space where it's like you've just got to

640
00:30:55,880 --> 00:30:57,440
Speaker 3: lock in and you've just got to keep going.

641
00:30:58,120 --> 00:30:59,680
Speaker 4: But yeah, nothing nothing in.

642
00:30:59,680 --> 00:31:03,680
Speaker 3: The world we can prepare me for Australia, like literally nothing,

643
00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:04,480
Speaker 3: no podcast.

644
00:31:04,560 --> 00:31:05,920
Speaker 4: We'll get you through that show.

645
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:10,120
Speaker 2: I love it. So when did the call come up?

646
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:12,360
Speaker 2: Let's get straight into it. When did that caol come up?

647
00:31:12,720 --> 00:31:12,800
Speaker 3: So?

648
00:31:12,880 --> 00:31:15,360
Speaker 2: Did you feel fit? Did you feel excited? No? I'm

649
00:31:15,360 --> 00:31:15,920
Speaker 2: an idiot.

650
00:31:16,640 --> 00:31:19,600
Speaker 3: My manager called me, and it was at the time

651
00:31:19,600 --> 00:31:21,960
Speaker 3: where my work was still sort of I was in

652
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,760
Speaker 3: a bit of a weird spot because of COVID and

653
00:31:23,800 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 3: we still hadn't like gone back to regular you know,

654
00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:29,360
Speaker 3: regular travel for what I was doing.

655
00:31:29,960 --> 00:31:31,520
Speaker 4: And my manager called me is like, look, there's a

656
00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:33,640
Speaker 4: show Essays Australia. You've seen it. I'm like, yeah, yeah,

657
00:31:33,680 --> 00:31:35,760
Speaker 4: what shirit? Do you want to do it? Yeah?

658
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:36,080
Speaker 2: Sure?

659
00:31:36,200 --> 00:31:37,960
Speaker 4: Why not? I was like, okay, okay.

660
00:31:38,200 --> 00:31:40,000
Speaker 3: He's like, I'll call you in ten minutes and he

661
00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:42,480
Speaker 3: literally called me back and he's like, you're in. So

662
00:31:42,800 --> 00:31:45,880
Speaker 3: I didn't think about it at all. And then when

663
00:31:45,920 --> 00:31:49,840
Speaker 3: I told Will my husband, he's like, are you joking?

664
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:53,800
Speaker 2: Why would you say yes?

665
00:31:55,080 --> 00:31:56,440
Speaker 4: And so that was it.

666
00:31:56,520 --> 00:31:59,880
Speaker 3: I think I think we had six weeks maybe before

667
00:31:59,880 --> 00:32:02,480
Speaker 3: the show started. I think there was a like, I

668
00:32:02,520 --> 00:32:04,239
Speaker 3: think that was the lead up time, six weeks, eight

669
00:32:04,280 --> 00:32:09,160
Speaker 3: weeks maybe at most. So I knew that I was

670
00:32:09,200 --> 00:32:11,520
Speaker 3: going to be okay in terms of cardio fitness, Like

671
00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:13,760
Speaker 3: I knew that I could swim, I could run all that.

672
00:32:13,680 --> 00:32:14,320
Speaker 4: Sort of stuff.

673
00:32:15,120 --> 00:32:18,960
Speaker 3: As you can see, these these guns aren't really really

674
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:23,720
Speaker 3: built for lifting. So I got myself into the gym

675
00:32:23,920 --> 00:32:28,440
Speaker 3: and just picked up heavy shit basically by exactly and

676
00:32:28,640 --> 00:32:30,760
Speaker 3: knew that that was going to be my weakness, so

677
00:32:31,240 --> 00:32:36,120
Speaker 3: just lifted sandbags and weights as much as my body

678
00:32:36,120 --> 00:32:38,320
Speaker 3: would allow me to without getting injured.

679
00:32:39,680 --> 00:32:42,200
Speaker 4: And then that was it. That was that was the show.

680
00:32:42,880 --> 00:32:47,160
Speaker 2: And take me back to day one. How did that feel?

681
00:32:47,880 --> 00:32:51,120
Speaker 3: It was terrifying, and you know, you didn't know how

682
00:32:51,160 --> 00:32:53,280
Speaker 3: the show was going to work, so to speak. I mean,

683
00:32:53,320 --> 00:32:55,360
Speaker 3: I'd come from a television background, so I had an

684
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 3: idea of how they make TV.

685
00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:58,640
Speaker 2: You mean, the course. You didn't know how that.

686
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:02,760
Speaker 4: We didn't know how the course was going to play out.

687
00:33:02,840 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 3: And and you know, as you hear about how shows

688
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:09,840
Speaker 3: are filmed, you know other reality TV shows are filmed

689
00:33:09,840 --> 00:33:11,440
Speaker 3: and it's like okay, you know that they'll do a

690
00:33:11,720 --> 00:33:14,000
Speaker 3: scene and then it's like the producible interrupt and then

691
00:33:14,040 --> 00:33:15,320
Speaker 3: you know a director will say on and we've got

692
00:33:15,360 --> 00:33:18,200
Speaker 3: to do that again. Or but yeah, obviously that wasn't

693
00:33:18,400 --> 00:33:22,760
Speaker 3: That wasn't how sas Australia worked. It was once once

694
00:33:22,880 --> 00:33:24,880
Speaker 3: you told us to get off that boat, you know,

695
00:33:24,960 --> 00:33:27,840
Speaker 3: we were in your world and.

696
00:33:26,920 --> 00:33:28,840
Speaker 4: And it was terrifying. It was truly terrifying.

697
00:33:28,880 --> 00:33:32,000
Speaker 3: It was very intimidating, obviously, not just from yourself and

698
00:33:32,040 --> 00:33:34,600
Speaker 3: from the other directing staff, but from the people that

699
00:33:34,640 --> 00:33:38,080
Speaker 3: I was on the course with. You know, I was

700
00:33:38,800 --> 00:33:41,560
Speaker 3: you know, I'm not a known person in the media.

701
00:33:42,200 --> 00:33:44,480
Speaker 4: I'm not an athlete. I'm not an Olympian.

702
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:47,080
Speaker 3: And you know, you're standing there and you're looking around

703
00:33:47,160 --> 00:33:49,240
Speaker 3: and you've got Jeff Hugel there. You know, You've got

704
00:33:49,240 --> 00:33:52,240
Speaker 3: Melissa Wu there, We've got Wayne Kerr. We had Barry Hall,

705
00:33:52,840 --> 00:33:55,640
Speaker 3: you know, we had Marcu Zarafa, like, we had so

706
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:59,959
Speaker 3: many people that were these incredible athletes who had had

707
00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:04,200
Speaker 3: enormous success in their life, and I'm sort of standing

708
00:34:04,200 --> 00:34:06,800
Speaker 3: there looking at them, like, how on earth am I

709
00:34:06,920 --> 00:34:10,520
Speaker 3: supposed to even remotely be, you know, considered on the

710
00:34:10,520 --> 00:34:13,399
Speaker 3: same playing field as these people around me and big

711
00:34:13,440 --> 00:34:18,080
Speaker 3: personalities who you know, we're quite overwhelming when you first

712
00:34:18,080 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 3: get in because everyone you know is wanting to, you know,

713
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,279
Speaker 3: have their voice heard.

714
00:34:22,360 --> 00:34:27,240
Speaker 4: And I'm I'm quite a quite shy person in real life,

715
00:34:27,480 --> 00:34:28,560
Speaker 4: even though I work in TV.

716
00:34:28,920 --> 00:34:31,279
Speaker 3: In my you know, in my personal life, I'm not

717
00:34:31,440 --> 00:34:33,560
Speaker 3: the loudest person in the room, and if anything, I

718
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,680
Speaker 3: like to be the quietest person in the room, particularly

719
00:34:35,680 --> 00:34:36,319
Speaker 3: when I don't know.

720
00:34:36,320 --> 00:34:40,319
Speaker 4: People, so I think I that's what I did.

721
00:34:40,360 --> 00:34:42,640
Speaker 3: I was pretty quiet, didn't you know, didn't want to

722
00:34:42,920 --> 00:34:45,120
Speaker 3: make too much noise and just sort of go under

723
00:34:45,160 --> 00:34:47,839
Speaker 3: the radar and try not to get your attention, because

724
00:34:47,880 --> 00:34:49,719
Speaker 3: if you've got your attention, usually it's because you've done

725
00:34:49,760 --> 00:34:50,200
Speaker 3: something wrong.

726
00:34:51,360 --> 00:34:56,440
Speaker 2: Correct very wise, I would say, what's it like amongst

727
00:34:56,600 --> 00:34:58,120
Speaker 2: the you know, from the very first day, what's it

728
00:34:58,160 --> 00:34:59,160
Speaker 2: like amongst the recruits.

729
00:34:59,719 --> 00:35:01,759
Speaker 3: I mean, it was pretty obvious from the art set,

730
00:35:01,880 --> 00:35:04,800
Speaker 3: you know who was going to be the not ourphas,

731
00:35:04,800 --> 00:35:07,239
Speaker 3: but like the louder people, the people that sort of

732
00:35:08,160 --> 00:35:11,759
Speaker 3: speak the most and put themselves forward the most. It

733
00:35:11,880 --> 00:35:13,880
Speaker 3: was quite obvious you know who those people were going

734
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,080
Speaker 3: to be. But to be peavitly honest, I felt like

735
00:35:16,160 --> 00:35:21,760
Speaker 3: our group was a really supportive group for the most part.

736
00:35:21,920 --> 00:35:24,399
Speaker 4: Everyone was a big supporter of each other.

737
00:35:24,480 --> 00:35:27,400
Speaker 3: There wasn't necessarily anyone who was trying to be the

738
00:35:27,400 --> 00:35:29,560
Speaker 3: best or always you know, wanting to you know, out

739
00:35:29,680 --> 00:35:32,480
Speaker 3: race or outdo anyone else, like I felt like, particularly

740
00:35:33,080 --> 00:35:35,880
Speaker 3: particularly the guys like Barry Hall and Darius Boyd and

741
00:35:35,920 --> 00:35:40,280
Speaker 3: Wayne Carey, Jeff Yugel, like, they were all very good supporters,

742
00:35:40,280 --> 00:35:44,320
Speaker 3: particularly of us girls, even though they might be stronger

743
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,160
Speaker 3: than us and be able to carry heavier things than us,

744
00:35:47,200 --> 00:35:50,160
Speaker 3: like they were always our biggest champions, you know, throughout

745
00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:52,799
Speaker 3: the tasks and always wanting to make sure that we

746
00:35:52,840 --> 00:35:56,480
Speaker 3: didn't ever feel that we were lesser than those guys.

747
00:35:56,480 --> 00:35:58,400
Speaker 4: And I think it showed at the end of the

748
00:35:58,400 --> 00:35:59,200
Speaker 4: show when there was.

749
00:36:00,080 --> 00:36:02,560
Speaker 3: More women than men towards the end, I think it

750
00:36:02,640 --> 00:36:05,760
Speaker 3: really did show that we were we were successful because

751
00:36:05,800 --> 00:36:08,920
Speaker 3: we had people, you know, supporting us so much, you know,

752
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:09,920
Speaker 3: right from the outset.

753
00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 2: That's why everything is put on a base level. That's

754
00:36:12,760 --> 00:36:15,800
Speaker 2: why there's no heavier weight in the women's burg or

755
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:18,040
Speaker 2: heavier weight in the men's burg, and in the women's burg,

756
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:22,360
Speaker 2: because we're testing you physically, psychologically, and emotionally. Yes, the

757
00:36:22,480 --> 00:36:26,399
Speaker 2: men might be physically stronger and maybe I wouldn't say fitter,

758
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,520
Speaker 2: but physically stronger, but when it comes to the psychological

759
00:36:29,640 --> 00:36:33,360
Speaker 2: side and the emotional side, it would be unfair to

760
00:36:33,520 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 2: make it easier for women on the physical side because

761
00:36:37,480 --> 00:36:40,640
Speaker 2: actually psychologically and emotionally one, you don't know what's going

762
00:36:40,680 --> 00:36:42,840
Speaker 2: on up there or what people are been through, so

763
00:36:43,280 --> 00:36:45,880
Speaker 2: you know, that's that's a level playing field, and that

764
00:36:45,920 --> 00:36:49,359
Speaker 2: the emotional side, from what I've seen is that women

765
00:36:49,440 --> 00:36:52,160
Speaker 2: actually deal with their emotions a little bit better than mey.

766
00:36:52,600 --> 00:36:56,200
Speaker 2: So you know, it's important that people realize that. That's

767
00:36:56,239 --> 00:36:58,319
Speaker 2: why we keep the course the way it is and

768
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,680
Speaker 2: there's everyone's on the same playing field, because when we

769
00:37:01,760 --> 00:37:04,879
Speaker 2: test you physically, psychologically and emotionally, if you've if there's

770
00:37:04,920 --> 00:37:07,440
Speaker 2: a disconnect between the trilogy and you, you can't hack

771
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,360
Speaker 2: it psychologically, then you're gone. Emotionally, if you can't do

772
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:14,120
Speaker 2: some of the fear defying tests and heights, water phobias,

773
00:37:14,400 --> 00:37:17,160
Speaker 2: you're gone. Physically, if you're not up to scratch, you're gone.

774
00:37:17,560 --> 00:37:21,319
Speaker 2: So did you when did you start to sort of

775
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:24,520
Speaker 2: because you sort of came into your flow after the

776
00:37:24,800 --> 00:37:27,360
Speaker 2: first four or five days. You see people you know

777
00:37:27,400 --> 00:37:29,719
Speaker 2: who are who you thought, wow, are going to be

778
00:37:29,760 --> 00:37:33,040
Speaker 2: here at the end start leaving, yeah, and you start

779
00:37:33,040 --> 00:37:34,920
Speaker 2: to get into your flow, don't you start to realize,

780
00:37:34,960 --> 00:37:37,160
Speaker 2: do you know what, I've just got to let go.

781
00:37:37,239 --> 00:37:40,000
Speaker 2: I've just got to embrace the embrace the course and

782
00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:41,440
Speaker 2: let myself let myself go.

783
00:37:41,760 --> 00:37:44,000
Speaker 3: And I think that's the key, to be honest, is

784
00:37:44,160 --> 00:37:47,880
Speaker 3: that just knowing that you've got to you know, just

785
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,160
Speaker 3: let let the show take care of itself, like you've

786
00:37:50,280 --> 00:37:52,319
Speaker 3: lost all control, Like you can't you don't choose when

787
00:37:52,360 --> 00:37:53,600
Speaker 3: you eat, you don't get to choose when you're sleep,

788
00:37:53,640 --> 00:37:55,439
Speaker 3: you don't get to choose what you're doing. You don't

789
00:37:55,480 --> 00:37:57,920
Speaker 3: know what's happening, you don't have any sort of idea

790
00:37:57,960 --> 00:37:59,479
Speaker 3: of how the day is going to roll out. And

791
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:01,719
Speaker 3: the minute that I was able to in my head

792
00:38:01,760 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 3: go relinquish control and just deal with the situations as

793
00:38:05,920 --> 00:38:08,160
Speaker 3: they come, I think that's when you really start to

794
00:38:09,080 --> 00:38:13,080
Speaker 3: be able to just process things, you know, in time.

795
00:38:13,239 --> 00:38:15,359
Speaker 3: So it's like, Okay, this is the task we're doing now, Yeah,

796
00:38:15,440 --> 00:38:17,400
Speaker 3: be present and this is the task we're doing. Now.

797
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,080
Speaker 3: Deal with this task and everything else that comes after

798
00:38:20,120 --> 00:38:21,719
Speaker 3: it will deal with that after, Like this is we're

799
00:38:21,760 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 3: eating now, Like eat your food now, and then think

800
00:38:24,160 --> 00:38:27,279
Speaker 3: about what's happening after that. And and I think that

801
00:38:27,360 --> 00:38:29,239
Speaker 3: you know, that definitely took a couple of days just

802
00:38:29,280 --> 00:38:31,759
Speaker 3: to get used to that and get used to the

803
00:38:31,800 --> 00:38:33,520
Speaker 3: fact that you have no idea and you have no

804
00:38:33,520 --> 00:38:34,960
Speaker 3: control over anything whatsoever.

805
00:38:35,800 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 4: And you know, once you you do see some of

806
00:38:39,239 --> 00:38:40,000
Speaker 4: the people like.

807
00:38:40,040 --> 00:38:44,560
Speaker 3: Start to not struggle, but you know, there's areas in

808
00:38:44,600 --> 00:38:47,120
Speaker 3: their life that you know they're you know, they might

809
00:38:47,120 --> 00:38:49,320
Speaker 3: be really yeah, they might be really physically strong, but

810
00:38:49,360 --> 00:38:51,800
Speaker 3: then they were able to do this particular tasking like Okay,

811
00:38:51,840 --> 00:38:54,600
Speaker 3: well I'm I'm not the strongest, but I was able

812
00:38:54,600 --> 00:38:56,759
Speaker 3: to do this, or you know, I'm able to you know,

813
00:38:57,080 --> 00:39:00,840
Speaker 3: problem solve this, or I've been able to do yeah, yeah, exactly.

814
00:39:01,080 --> 00:39:03,799
Speaker 3: And that's when you know, after the first few days,

815
00:39:03,840 --> 00:39:07,640
Speaker 3: I was like, Okay, I think I think I can

816
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,520
Speaker 3: get through this. And I knew in my head that

817
00:39:10,600 --> 00:39:13,120
Speaker 3: I wasn't going to quit, Like there was no part

818
00:39:13,160 --> 00:39:15,280
Speaker 3: of me that was going to give you my number.

819
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:16,800
Speaker 4: You would have had to take my number.

820
00:39:16,960 --> 00:39:20,480
Speaker 3: And I didn't think that I would get to the end,

821
00:39:20,680 --> 00:39:23,000
Speaker 3: but I didn't think that I would give up.

822
00:39:23,120 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 4: I knew that you would have to get rid of me.

823
00:39:25,320 --> 00:39:29,840
Speaker 2: Was there any stage that you thought that your number

824
00:39:29,920 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: was close to coming off?

825
00:39:31,760 --> 00:39:34,280
Speaker 3: I think at the end, I think it was the

826
00:39:34,320 --> 00:39:36,719
Speaker 3: second last day or third last day, and we were

827
00:39:36,760 --> 00:39:41,080
Speaker 3: down to four. We were down to four, and we

828
00:39:41,200 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 3: were we were all tethered on the rope, and we

829
00:39:43,840 --> 00:39:47,800
Speaker 3: went You took us to some like mud manslows, mangras,

830
00:39:47,840 --> 00:39:50,000
Speaker 3: and it had been raining and it was freezing cold,

831
00:39:50,440 --> 00:39:52,640
Speaker 3: and we were all tethered and we basically had to

832
00:39:52,680 --> 00:39:54,719
Speaker 3: you know, run from one end to the other to

833
00:39:55,080 --> 00:39:57,279
Speaker 3: retrieve the package or whatever it was.

834
00:39:57,600 --> 00:40:00,440
Speaker 4: And if you submission times it was time sensitive.

835
00:40:00,520 --> 00:40:03,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you know, if you the whole idea of

836
00:40:03,960 --> 00:40:06,239
Speaker 2: this was to I have a sacrifice yourself if yeah,

837
00:40:06,320 --> 00:40:09,799
Speaker 2: you're holding the team back or the team had had

838
00:40:09,840 --> 00:40:10,440
Speaker 2: to yeah.

839
00:40:10,719 --> 00:40:12,160
Speaker 4: Say sort of times done.

840
00:40:12,239 --> 00:40:14,120
Speaker 3: And we were carrying we also were carrying I think

841
00:40:14,160 --> 00:40:17,800
Speaker 3: twenty kilos or something, and so you know, I felt

842
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:20,120
Speaker 3: like I was I could have done the task, but

843
00:40:20,280 --> 00:40:23,640
Speaker 3: carrying the package as well as running through the swamp,

844
00:40:23,719 --> 00:40:26,880
Speaker 3: I was starting to struggle physically, and we were with

845
00:40:27,000 --> 00:40:29,600
Speaker 3: locky locks. So we had Lockey Gilbert, Darius Boy and

846
00:40:29,640 --> 00:40:33,239
Speaker 3: Millie Boy or myself and Melissa were and Melissa was

847
00:40:33,320 --> 00:40:36,600
Speaker 3: also starting to struggle and I think she got d

848
00:40:36,880 --> 00:40:38,640
Speaker 3: like she got dropped. So then we were down to

849
00:40:38,719 --> 00:40:41,799
Speaker 3: just the four of us, and it was it meant

850
00:40:41,840 --> 00:40:44,000
Speaker 3: that Locke and Darius had to do a lot of

851
00:40:44,000 --> 00:40:46,400
Speaker 3: the heavy lifting because I just wasn't able to physically

852
00:40:46,440 --> 00:40:50,000
Speaker 3: hold the package as long as what they were able to.

853
00:40:51,120 --> 00:40:53,440
Speaker 3: And you know, this is what like day twelve or

854
00:40:53,480 --> 00:40:53,799
Speaker 3: something like.

855
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:54,560
Speaker 2: It was pretty quiet.

856
00:40:54,840 --> 00:40:58,200
Speaker 3: It was quite Yeah, So there was a point there

857
00:40:58,239 --> 00:41:02,680
Speaker 3: where I thought, is it better for me to not

858
00:41:02,760 --> 00:41:03,120
Speaker 3: give up?

859
00:41:03,160 --> 00:41:03,719
Speaker 4: But is it better?

860
00:41:03,880 --> 00:41:05,759
Speaker 3: Is it better for the team that I that I, um,

861
00:41:06,080 --> 00:41:09,560
Speaker 3: you know, unhook myself because I think I'm now starting

862
00:41:09,560 --> 00:41:13,440
Speaker 3: to bring them down. And then I just this recurring

863
00:41:13,440 --> 00:41:16,319
Speaker 3: thought in my head always throughout the whole entire time,

864
00:41:16,480 --> 00:41:19,440
Speaker 3: was like this, this will end, Like this task is

865
00:41:19,480 --> 00:41:21,720
Speaker 3: really hard now, but it will end and then you'll

866
00:41:22,200 --> 00:41:23,680
Speaker 3: be done with it and you'll never have to do

867
00:41:23,719 --> 00:41:25,480
Speaker 3: it again until the next time we do a task.

868
00:41:25,560 --> 00:41:28,840
Speaker 3: But everything ends, you know, every beasting ended, and every

869
00:41:28,880 --> 00:41:31,880
Speaker 3: task would end, and every you know, whatever it was.

870
00:41:31,960 --> 00:41:33,879
Speaker 3: And in my head I'm like, no, don't quit now,

871
00:41:33,920 --> 00:41:35,799
Speaker 3: Like what we might have another ten minutes, you might

872
00:41:35,840 --> 00:41:38,759
Speaker 3: have another hour, but it's not forever, Like you can

873
00:41:38,800 --> 00:41:39,680
Speaker 3: hang on.

874
00:41:41,680 --> 00:41:43,680
Speaker 2: I figure, I smashed you for the good five k

875
00:41:43,880 --> 00:41:45,680
Speaker 2: through their angos and then.

876
00:41:45,560 --> 00:41:49,560
Speaker 3: You made us run back to the vehicles as well afterwards.

877
00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:52,359
Speaker 3: But that was probably the only time throughout it, all

878
00:41:52,440 --> 00:41:54,719
Speaker 3: of it where I was very close to going. I

879
00:41:54,760 --> 00:41:57,240
Speaker 3: think that I need to sacrifice myself because the team

880
00:41:57,280 --> 00:42:00,319
Speaker 3: is now starting to you know, it becomes slower because

881
00:42:00,360 --> 00:42:00,520
Speaker 3: of me.

882
00:42:00,840 --> 00:42:02,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was it like standing there at the end,

883
00:42:02,560 --> 00:42:05,279
Speaker 2: so they you stood there, did you care if your

884
00:42:05,280 --> 00:42:06,680
Speaker 2: past or failed at this stage?

885
00:42:07,120 --> 00:42:09,680
Speaker 3: I did, Yeah, I think because you got so far

886
00:42:09,800 --> 00:42:11,880
Speaker 3: and I would have hated to get that far. And

887
00:42:11,920 --> 00:42:13,960
Speaker 3: then you you know, you just say, oh, you haven't passed.

888
00:42:13,960 --> 00:42:16,560
Speaker 3: So it was a surreal moment. It was hard to

889
00:42:16,719 --> 00:42:20,600
Speaker 3: actually comprehend that, you know, you'd said we'd all passed,

890
00:42:20,640 --> 00:42:25,920
Speaker 3: and to be alongside Million and Darius was just amazing

891
00:42:27,040 --> 00:42:29,440
Speaker 3: a moment. And I think because it was a TV

892
00:42:29,520 --> 00:42:31,719
Speaker 3: show like it's but it was more than that.

893
00:42:31,800 --> 00:42:32,960
Speaker 4: It was more than a TV show.

894
00:42:33,000 --> 00:42:36,600
Speaker 3: It was an experience of my life that showed how

895
00:42:36,640 --> 00:42:38,440
Speaker 3: strong I was, and it was a bit of a

896
00:42:39,160 --> 00:42:41,279
Speaker 3: I don't know, it was like a relief after all

897
00:42:41,320 --> 00:42:43,720
Speaker 3: the horrible things that had happened in the year prior,

898
00:42:43,840 --> 00:42:46,160
Speaker 3: and the horrible times that my family had had and

899
00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:49,000
Speaker 3: the hard days, and it was like I did it,

900
00:42:49,040 --> 00:42:51,440
Speaker 3: like I Actually it was kind of like the It

901
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:54,640
Speaker 3: was like the moment I felt like I got through.

902
00:42:54,719 --> 00:42:56,960
Speaker 4: I got through more than what the TV show was.

903
00:42:57,000 --> 00:43:01,000
Speaker 3: I got through twelve months of hell and I did it,

904
00:43:01,040 --> 00:43:05,239
Speaker 3: and you know, I survived and yeah, it was. It

905
00:43:05,280 --> 00:43:08,439
Speaker 3: was more than what just passing a TV show? What's

906
00:43:08,480 --> 00:43:09,239
Speaker 3: it been meant? More?

907
00:43:09,600 --> 00:43:12,200
Speaker 2: You feel like you can tackle anything after, don't you?

908
00:43:12,200 --> 00:43:15,160
Speaker 2: You know, your self belief, your self confidence? How well

909
00:43:15,160 --> 00:43:17,799
Speaker 2: has that served you? Because when I look at most

910
00:43:17,840 --> 00:43:21,800
Speaker 2: of my recruits that succeed and I look at their careers,

911
00:43:22,040 --> 00:43:23,960
Speaker 2: I do follow you very closely, whether you like it

912
00:43:24,040 --> 00:43:26,160
Speaker 2: or not, I've always got an eye you seem to

913
00:43:26,280 --> 00:43:29,560
Speaker 2: just put you know, just go. And I'm not saying

914
00:43:29,560 --> 00:43:31,319
Speaker 2: that you'll succeed at everything that you do, but you

915
00:43:31,360 --> 00:43:33,680
Speaker 2: don't seem unphased with life. You feel like yet you

916
00:43:33,680 --> 00:43:36,360
Speaker 2: can tackle anything. How important was that course for your

917
00:43:36,400 --> 00:43:38,400
Speaker 2: self confidence and self belief?

918
00:43:38,680 --> 00:43:39,360
Speaker 4: It was huge?

919
00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:39,600
Speaker 2: You know.

920
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:43,200
Speaker 3: I think you know when I walked into that room

921
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,680
Speaker 3: the fourteen days beforehand and you know, being really intimidated

922
00:43:46,800 --> 00:43:49,680
Speaker 3: and quite you know, that real imposter syndrome, like I

923
00:43:49,719 --> 00:43:51,600
Speaker 3: absolutely you know, I shouldn't be here. I don't deserve

924
00:43:51,640 --> 00:43:53,080
Speaker 3: to be here. I'm not a famous person, I'm not

925
00:43:53,080 --> 00:43:54,440
Speaker 3: an athlete all that sort of stuff. I'm not the

926
00:43:54,480 --> 00:43:57,359
Speaker 3: strongest person here. And then to be there standing at

927
00:43:57,360 --> 00:44:00,319
Speaker 3: the end, and it does huge things for you know,

928
00:44:00,360 --> 00:44:03,359
Speaker 3: self confidence and just not having belief in yourself and

929
00:44:04,080 --> 00:44:06,799
Speaker 3: having the confidence to go, you know, even though this

930
00:44:06,880 --> 00:44:09,319
Speaker 3: is this is scary or this is a huge fear

931
00:44:09,360 --> 00:44:11,480
Speaker 3: for me, it's like you've just got a charge forward

932
00:44:11,680 --> 00:44:14,920
Speaker 3: and you work out, you work out the rest, you know,

933
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,560
Speaker 3: and it's it was massive and I think for me

934
00:44:18,800 --> 00:44:20,960
Speaker 3: because I've had because of what had happened in the

935
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:24,759
Speaker 3: year before, it was it was a real like this

936
00:44:24,840 --> 00:44:26,799
Speaker 3: is the start of the next chapter for me, Like

937
00:44:26,840 --> 00:44:29,160
Speaker 3: it'd been a really hot, hard year, I'd lost my job,

938
00:44:29,200 --> 00:44:31,600
Speaker 3: there was lots of uncertainty with what was happening with myself,

939
00:44:31,640 --> 00:44:33,920
Speaker 3: and it was almost like, yeah, this is the turning

940
00:44:33,960 --> 00:44:37,080
Speaker 3: point for me for my career, for what I do

941
00:44:37,160 --> 00:44:39,840
Speaker 3: with my life, for how I see things, you know,

942
00:44:39,960 --> 00:44:42,879
Speaker 3: making sure that I make the most of every opportunity

943
00:44:42,960 --> 00:44:45,520
Speaker 3: that comes before me, whether that be just in my

944
00:44:45,560 --> 00:44:48,360
Speaker 3: personal life, saying yes, doing things that I want to

945
00:44:48,400 --> 00:44:53,120
Speaker 3: do for myself. And it was a huge shift in

946
00:44:53,200 --> 00:44:55,879
Speaker 3: my mindset into like, right, you know, we only have

947
00:44:56,040 --> 00:44:58,920
Speaker 3: this one very short life that is so precious, and

948
00:44:59,000 --> 00:45:02,000
Speaker 3: I've been given this opportunit unity to listen to yourself,

949
00:45:02,280 --> 00:45:04,200
Speaker 3: to listen to all of the other directing staff. For

950
00:45:04,239 --> 00:45:07,319
Speaker 3: the last couple of weeks, and you guys were so

951
00:45:07,400 --> 00:45:09,720
Speaker 3: gracious in sharing some of the stories that you guys

952
00:45:09,719 --> 00:45:12,040
Speaker 3: have had in the things that you've done in your

953
00:45:12,080 --> 00:45:15,920
Speaker 3: lives and what you've experienced, and how lucky I was

954
00:45:16,040 --> 00:45:19,160
Speaker 3: to be part of that and have that very unique

955
00:45:19,200 --> 00:45:22,040
Speaker 3: experience that not many people in this world will get.

956
00:45:22,560 --> 00:45:25,560
Speaker 3: And I need to now use this and do the

957
00:45:25,600 --> 00:45:26,880
Speaker 3: things I want to do in my life.

958
00:45:27,360 --> 00:45:31,399
Speaker 2: Arianna, if you're the it pits me off Seese every opportunity,

959
00:45:32,560 --> 00:45:36,440
Speaker 2: then you know you've certainly shared that message. There final

960
00:45:36,640 --> 00:45:40,680
Speaker 2: question for you since then, you know, since your fractured

961
00:45:40,800 --> 00:45:44,080
Speaker 2: ribs and your broken finger, and now that you've fully recovered,

962
00:45:45,120 --> 00:45:49,560
Speaker 2: you've since had a beautiful baby boy. Now easier future

963
00:45:49,719 --> 00:45:50,560
Speaker 2: sas recruit.

964
00:45:50,880 --> 00:45:53,800
Speaker 3: Oh look, he has unbelievable upper body strength.

965
00:45:53,960 --> 00:45:57,200
Speaker 4: He can hang off a bar better than I can.

966
00:45:57,360 --> 00:46:01,319
Speaker 4: So you just never never know. But maybe they can do.

967
00:46:01,440 --> 00:46:03,560
Speaker 3: There's been a few babies since our seasons, so maybe

968
00:46:03,560 --> 00:46:05,360
Speaker 3: they can be an sas kids and all the babies

969
00:46:05,400 --> 00:46:07,759
Speaker 3: and all the kids can come together. But yeah, life

970
00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:11,320
Speaker 3: has changed a lot. I've had a baby. He's nineteen

971
00:46:11,320 --> 00:46:14,680
Speaker 3: months old. Now, he's just the best thing ever. You know,

972
00:46:14,719 --> 00:46:17,560
Speaker 3: He's changed my life for so many different reasons, and

973
00:46:17,600 --> 00:46:19,880
Speaker 3: he's just brought so much love and joy to me

974
00:46:20,000 --> 00:46:23,279
Speaker 3: and my family and my mum in particular. So he

975
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:26,360
Speaker 3: has been the absolute you know, just shining light for

976
00:46:26,840 --> 00:46:31,320
Speaker 3: our family. And yeah, lots lots of different things have happened,

977
00:46:31,360 --> 00:46:35,600
Speaker 3: but I feel like now, yeah, we're just in a

978
00:46:35,600 --> 00:46:38,000
Speaker 3: good spot. You know, life is challenging. Life is never

979
00:46:38,360 --> 00:46:41,279
Speaker 3: never easy. It's never still even this year, I've learned that,

980
00:46:41,320 --> 00:46:42,960
Speaker 3: you know, things.

981
00:46:42,600 --> 00:46:44,120
Speaker 4: Can very easily turn around.

982
00:46:44,239 --> 00:46:48,160
Speaker 3: But it's just a case of you know, making the most,

983
00:46:48,239 --> 00:46:51,040
Speaker 3: as you said, of those opportunities and living, you know,

984
00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:55,480
Speaker 3: living living life, like not just not just cruising and

985
00:46:55,520 --> 00:46:58,160
Speaker 3: coasting through, like actually get out there and live and

986
00:46:58,200 --> 00:47:01,920
Speaker 3: love hard. And you know, because as I've experienced, you

987
00:47:02,080 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 3: just absolutely never know what's going to happen.

988
00:47:04,400 --> 00:47:06,839
Speaker 2: I love that if you're being challenged, then guess what

989
00:47:06,840 --> 00:47:09,680
Speaker 2: you're living because thinking you're growing and you're becoming a

990
00:47:09,719 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 2: better version of who you are. Rihanna, I've loved having

991
00:47:12,880 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 2: you on, I love seeing you, and I'm gonna nab

992
00:47:14,880 --> 00:47:16,360
Speaker 2: that little one up of yours and he's gonna be

993
00:47:16,400 --> 00:47:19,600
Speaker 2: a future sas Australia recruits. But I wish you all

994
00:47:19,600 --> 00:47:21,760
Speaker 2: the best for the future. I'll been seeing you real soon.

995
00:47:22,840 --> 00:47:25,000
Speaker 2: Thank you ever so much for coming on Headgame. Thank

996
00:47:25,080 --> 00:47:29,399
Speaker 2: you to find out more about Rihanna head to ranacorean

997
00:47:29,680 --> 00:47:33,880
Speaker 2: dot com. Thanks for joining me on this episode of Headgame.

998
00:47:34,280 --> 00:47:37,239
Speaker 2: If you love listening to this podcast, please share it

999
00:47:37,280 --> 00:47:40,120
Speaker 2: with a friend or you can leave me a review

1000
00:47:40,280 --> 00:47:44,799
Speaker 2: on your favorite listening platform. I'm Att Middleton. See you

1001
00:47:45,239 --> 00:47:47,760
Speaker 2: in the next episode.