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Speaker 1: This is the Fitting In with Her with Kate Richie podcast.

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Speaker 2: Where do we start?

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Speaker 3: Where do we start the extraordinary life of El McPherson. Well,

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Speaker 3: I tell you where you start by hitting the shelves

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Speaker 3: tomorrow because I am so looking forward to this. It's

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Speaker 3: the autobiography of elmcfirst and it's just called El. It

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Speaker 3: is out tomorrow and we have been so lucky to

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Speaker 3: meet this lady.

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Speaker 2: And she's on the line now. El McPherson. Welcome, Welcome, Ell.

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Speaker 4: Hi guy, good morning out. What a pleasure to have

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Speaker 4: you on our show.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. I always love doing your show. Guys.

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Speaker 5: Oh, you are a superstar. You're right friend of the

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Speaker 5: show and we've loved all the chats we've had over

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Speaker 5: the years. When you write a book like this, l

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Speaker 5: I have to ask. I mean, there's so much stuff

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Speaker 5: in there. There's some confronting things. But how do you

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Speaker 5: decide what you can share in a book like this

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Speaker 5: and things that are just too personal to you?

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Speaker 1: Well, it's really your book about life. It's not necessarily

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Speaker 1: just about my life. My life is the conduit the

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Speaker 1: sort of wisdoms I've gleaned along the way that you know,

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Speaker 1: universal truth that everybody can apply in their own minds

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Speaker 1: and the stories. You know, there's the stories that I

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Speaker 1: share really, I mean, they're shared for a purpose, not

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Speaker 1: just to tell my life story. Yeah, but every story

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Speaker 1: has a gem in it and I think that that's

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Speaker 1: the biggest takeaway from the book, that it's really for everybody.

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Speaker 1: It's not simply my life. Yeah.

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Speaker 6: And why now, though, Elle, Because I would imagine over

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Speaker 6: the years, you would have been approached many many times

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Speaker 6: to release books and you know, tell us about behind

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Speaker 6: the scenes, and you know when people have followed, you know,

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Speaker 6: things and challenges that you've been through. I'm sure everybody's

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Speaker 6: on the phone saying can you please tell us your story?

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Speaker 6: What made now the right time to do it?

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Speaker 1: It just felt right, you know, just you know, there

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Speaker 1: have been many times people have asked me to write

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Speaker 1: a book and it didn't resonate. And this didn't start

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Speaker 1: out as a book. You know, I never had the

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Speaker 1: intention of, oh I don't write a book, and started

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Speaker 1: out as a list of notes that I had around

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Speaker 1: on my desk. When people would call me asking me

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Speaker 1: for to share my experience and were looking for guidance

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Speaker 1: and to some extent or just wanted someone to talk to,

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Speaker 1: So I had all sorts of people calling me and

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Speaker 1: I would write notes because I wanted to be helpful,

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Speaker 1: and then they just strung together and here we are

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Speaker 1: with this beautiful book that comes out tomorrow, and I'm

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Speaker 1: so excited. And you know, for the guys that don't

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Speaker 1: like to read, the audiobook also comes out tomorrow, and we're.

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Speaker 2: Excited about that because that's me.

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Speaker 1: What's so magical about the audiobook is that Doyle scored it.

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Speaker 1: So he scored it like a movie. So you have

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Speaker 1: Doyle's music, his brilliant guitar, and a lot of instruments

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Speaker 1: that have healing frequencies underneath them that sort of open

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Speaker 1: each chapter. And you know, you guys who love to

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Speaker 1: listen to radio will probably really enjoy the book because

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Speaker 1: of the music and the and the healing frequencies that

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Speaker 1: are embedded in.

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Speaker 2: The new aod idea to help calm.

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Speaker 1: The nervous Yeah, it was such a fun collaboration.

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Speaker 6: I guess that ties back to all of the work

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Speaker 6: that you have done in wellness. Was that an important

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Speaker 6: part to include?

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Speaker 1: Absolutely? And you know, and I think it's very important

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Speaker 1: that people had a chance to give their nervous system arrest,

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Speaker 1: and you know, the healing frequencies that are imperceivable in

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Speaker 1: some ways with all these instruments from the earth gongs

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Speaker 1: and stone drum and did you redo and and you

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Speaker 1: know Native American flute, they really really work to come

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Speaker 1: your nervous system and fortuity in paris sympathetic state, which

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Speaker 1: is so important. We're so stressed today. Current is one

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Speaker 1: of the one of the greatest.

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Speaker 3: Causes of this is well, do you know what I'd

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Speaker 3: be stressed about l IF as a parent when my

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Speaker 3: teenage daughter ventures to New York to build this remarkable career,

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Speaker 3: Like it's so out of it's crazy what you went

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Speaker 3: through l and the people that you met over the years. Now,

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Speaker 3: in the book, you talk about relationships and friendships that

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Speaker 3: you've had over the year, because it is it's not

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Speaker 3: you know, ordinary life, it's you're meeting people while you're

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Speaker 3: so young. You talk about hanging out with people like

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Speaker 3: Princess Diana and at that strong friendship that you had

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Speaker 3: with George Michael.

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Speaker 2: Do you look back on those days very fondly?

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Speaker 1: Elle, Well, I remember that those times we were all

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Speaker 1: sort of going through very everyday stuff. You know, we

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Speaker 1: may have had extraordinary careers, but underneath it, we were still,

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Speaker 1: you know, grappling with the same issues, which was finding

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Speaker 1: the meaning of life to some extent to realize realizing that,

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Speaker 1: as they shared quite extensively throughout the book, that every

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Speaker 1: experience is a valuable gift and purpose in everything, even

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Speaker 1: if it's uncomfortable, the highs and the lows, there's learning

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Speaker 1: in everything, and it's not just purposeless and meaningless. And

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Speaker 1: we're not powerless in our lives, whether you're a star

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Speaker 1: or whether you're not.

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Speaker 3: Did you use those people all though, to go through

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Speaker 3: when you're when you're leading a life like that, did

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Speaker 3: you lean on people like Princess Diana and also George

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Speaker 3: Michael and get advice from them? Because it is not

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Speaker 3: an ordinary life like it's you guys are in the

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Speaker 3: stuff so much.

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Speaker 2: But did you learn from them?

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Speaker 1: No, No, it wasn't really a question of you know,

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Speaker 1: we were just were passed like ships in the nine

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Speaker 1: in many ways. So it's through observation and through experience.

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Speaker 1: You know, life is experiential. That is, the wisdom comes

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Speaker 1: from the experiences that we have, and so you know,

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Speaker 1: at that time, we were just all sort of muddling

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Speaker 1: through and yeah, there was not no looking to Princess

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Speaker 1: Diana for advice.

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Speaker 2: In the middle of the night when you had maybe

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Speaker 2: your boyfriend is.

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Speaker 4: Let's be very clear about she didn't call it.

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Speaker 5: We celebrate too, and we've spoken about this before the

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Speaker 5: twenty one years of sobriety, which is sensational, but there

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Speaker 5: was a point too where you reveal how your relationship

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Speaker 5: with alcohol be came a little bit too much and

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Speaker 5: you had to look after yourself well.

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Speaker 1: To tell you the truth, I just wanted to break

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Speaker 1: and it was a fantastic time for me to sort

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Speaker 1: of address a lot of things that I'd sort of

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Speaker 1: hadn't had time to examine. And it has been the

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Speaker 1: foundation of the most remarkable life. I mean, getting sober

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Speaker 1: and staying sober. And there's two chapters in the book

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Speaker 1: on that. The second one is called How Open, Honest

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Speaker 1: and Willing, and that's really about, you know, the first

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Speaker 1: chapter is about stopping drinking in the second one is

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Speaker 1: staying stopped. How to stay stopped and has been a

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Speaker 1: foundation of all of all my life really because without

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Speaker 1: being sober, I wouldn't be here to be sharing this

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Speaker 1: book with you. And you know, yesterday I went to

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Speaker 1: a meeting. And it was really funny because one of

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Speaker 1: the guys was talking about how he was embarrassed about

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Speaker 1: going to AA meetings from the beginning, and he said

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Speaker 1: that he wasn't embarrassed about falling out of a nightclub

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Speaker 1: and you know, pissing his pants and bombing on the

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Speaker 1: street and hurling abus. That didn't seem to bother him

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Speaker 1: so much. But he's glunk into an AA meeting after

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Speaker 1: he was like six months. That's a funny, but it's

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Speaker 1: the truth. It's our truth. You know. We have such

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Speaker 1: preconceived ideas about how horrible life is going to be

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Speaker 1: without alcohol, and I'm living proof that life can be

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Speaker 1: so joyous and so free and so power powerful and

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Speaker 1: purposeful when we're focused on love and focused on wellness

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Speaker 1: and focused on relationships and connection. I think people go

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Speaker 1: to do you know drugs or alcohol are just a

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Speaker 1: symptom of people feeling disconnected. It's the biggest malady on

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Speaker 1: earth is disconnection, or the belief that we're disconnected.

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Speaker 5: It's a good lesson, isn't it.

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Speaker 6: And what was the biggest thing you learned about yourself

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Speaker 6: l when you did become sober? Do you think that

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Speaker 6: you were just kind of touching on the fact that

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Speaker 6: it's been a brand new, wonderful, joyous life.

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Speaker 4: What was the thing that had been hidden.

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Speaker 6: By I suppose the use of alcohol, because when you

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Speaker 6: become sober that everything just there's such a clarity, isn't there?

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Speaker 1: Yes, there is. But I think it was a fear

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Speaker 1: of being my true self and I think you can

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Speaker 1: you know, it's about becoming empowered and present and clear

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Speaker 1: in life so that you can live your life to

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Speaker 1: your fullest and not numbing yourself through addictive behaviors. And

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Speaker 1: let's be honest, I mean, addiction runs right in humanity.

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Speaker 1: It's not just alcohol. I mean there's addiction to fears,

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Speaker 1: there's addiction to guilt, there's addiction to shopping, to work.

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Speaker 1: You know, Workaholism is very accepted as an addiction. And

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Speaker 1: people numb themselves from themselves living life on life terms

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Speaker 1: through persistently doing behaviors that are damaging.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: True.

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Speaker 3: This is the City And with Kate Richie podcast, Well,

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Speaker 3: you talk about love so much.

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Speaker 2: You said, I have learned that love is what really matters.

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Speaker 3: I deeply wish that you learn unconditional love firstly of yourself.

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Speaker 3: Then of others, then of life itself. It's your true nature.

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Speaker 3: You have two amazing boys, Flynn and Cy.

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Speaker 2: Are you ell? Are you in love now? Like have

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Speaker 2: you found a life partner now? Are you in love currently?

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Speaker 2: Or are you searching.

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Speaker 1: Well and loving life and life and yourself? I'm loving

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Speaker 1: life and yes, I am in a loving relationship with

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Speaker 1: a remarkable musician. As I mentioned before. Who've read the

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Speaker 1: book the audiobook? So, but you know it's really about

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Speaker 1: learning self love, isn't it.

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Speaker 4: Absolutely?

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Speaker 1: My son who read the book said to me, it's

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Speaker 1: a mummy. This is really a love story, isn't it?

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Speaker 1: And I said, yes, baby, it is. But it's not

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Speaker 1: a love story in the romantic sense. It's about learning

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Speaker 1: loving consciousness in life and moving from fear because we

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Speaker 1: live in fear there living a life of love.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, And from one relationship to the next we always

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Speaker 5: learn and we carry on from our teachings and experiences

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Speaker 5: in the previous relationship. But also you share the idea

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Speaker 5: of burning a wedding dress else which I think a

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Speaker 5: lot of people would have liked to have done in time.

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Speaker 5: What did you burn? Spins it?

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Speaker 1: It was an azerdin, a liar dress which was like

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Speaker 1: made for me and by one of the greatest custorias

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Speaker 1: of the you know, the the world. And the embarrassing

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Speaker 1: thing was many years later that Azidein Museum asked me

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Speaker 1: for the dress and I couldn't tell them it was

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Speaker 1: stuff to the bar on the Brownstone that I was

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Speaker 1: living on Ninth Street, New York City, like only nylon

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Speaker 1: would stick to a bar.

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Speaker 4: The fibrigade called if you're Bernie, if you're well.

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Speaker 1: They didn't have smoke, they didn't have smoke alarms like

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Speaker 1: that without at that time. You know, the fire hazards

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Speaker 1: were different in the in the eighties and nineties. But yeah,

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Speaker 1: and I just think it's a wonderful you know, it's

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Speaker 1: just a wonderful indication of how frustrated and angry and

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Speaker 1: desperate I felt. And so, you know, so in your

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Speaker 1: face fringing Berni your wedding dress. I think the remarkable

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Speaker 1: thing is I got through it and I thrived, and

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Speaker 1: there was this turning point in my life was you know,

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Speaker 1: in freedom of expressing myself in different ways. And so,

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Speaker 1: you know, even though at the moment it felt very

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Speaker 1: traumatic and dramatic, it actually turned out to be an

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Speaker 1: extraordinary turning point and freedom.

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Speaker 6: Come on, Eldo, there has to be one moment post

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Speaker 6: burning the wedding dress where you thought.

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Speaker 4: Damn it, it was a beautiful dress.

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Speaker 1: You think about it all the time. Such a good

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Speaker 1: idea at the time.

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Speaker 4: Oh, it's a lovely ritual. There's something very ceremonious about love.

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Speaker 1: I'm sure there's lots of women that can relate to that.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely well, do you know what?

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Speaker 3: And like we've said, and we've joked about this before,

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Speaker 3: but when we met you in the corners lounge, how

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Speaker 3: approachable you were and we were so nervous to go

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Speaker 3: around there, but you were the one that made the

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Speaker 3: first movement said just come around here and say hello.

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Speaker 3: You know, we've watched you on our screens everywhere growing up.

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Speaker 2: This is going to be a fascinating read.

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Speaker 3: It's just called el It hits shelves tomorrow Tuesday, third September.

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Speaker 3: But we really appreciate you coming on the show.

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Speaker 1: Thanks so much, guys. I really appreciate your interest and

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Speaker 1: sharing this wonderful book on life and wellness and love.

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Speaker 1: And remember this is about your life, yeah, not mine.

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Speaker 5: I think that's the most important thing too. And you

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Speaker 5: share also which is extremely personal. Your battle with breast cancer,

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Speaker 5: which I'm not sure anybody was aware of at the time,

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Speaker 5: but you know, the learnings and the teachings that came

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Speaker 5: from that experience too. There's a lot of people that

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Speaker 5: have gone down that path, and I think everybody knows

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Speaker 5: somebody within their family even that have shared in that

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Speaker 5: challenging time. So once again there's crucial learnings in what

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Speaker 5: you experienced there too.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it wasn't really a battle. I mean, the battle

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Speaker 1: was coming to term with everybody else's fear, because you know,

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Speaker 1: cancer is a subject that where so many people are

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Speaker 1: afraid of. And so you know, my recovery from breast

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Speaker 1: cancer and I'm happy to say that I'm seven years

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Speaker 1: in clinical remission. As they would say, you know, the

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Speaker 1: hardest part was coming to the decision. First of all

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Speaker 1: the diagnosis, but the next part was well what do

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Speaker 1: I do about it? And I was very very you know,

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Speaker 1: it was such a magnificent story of rebirth for me,

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Speaker 1: and cancer can be a catalyst. And I think the

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Speaker 1: most important thing for people is to go inside their

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Speaker 1: heart and to really really listen only to themselves. I mean,

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Speaker 1: of course, take advice where you can, but listen to

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Speaker 1: yourselves as to what's the right thing for you to

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Speaker 1: do and get to the root. Cause.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, look, it's been so nice to talk to you

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Speaker 4: this morning.

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Speaker 5: Ell.

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Speaker 4: I cannot wait to get a copy of L tomorrow.

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Speaker 6: But congratulations that you've worked so hard over the years

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Speaker 6: we've watched your career.

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Speaker 4: It's been extraordinary.

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Speaker 6: You've been such an inspiration and you an Australian icon

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Speaker 6: and I really think it's a credit to you that

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Speaker 6: you've had the opportunity to get to this point of

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Speaker 6: your career to be able to sit down and pen

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Speaker 6: the book that you wanted to write. It's not some

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Speaker 6: kind of scandals scandalous tell all that. Like you said,

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Speaker 6: you know, this is my story and it's the most important.

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Speaker 6: This is a book for everybody. And yeah, thank you

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Speaker 6: so much for sharing it with us.

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Speaker 1: You're welcome. And I've got to say thank you to

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Speaker 1: Penguin because they allowed me to write a book that

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Speaker 1: wasn't an autobiography or a memoir or a list of scandalists.

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Speaker 1: Tell all you know, it's a book of wisdom, and

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Speaker 1: that was Penguins. They supported me the whole way through that.

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Speaker 1: So I'm deeply grateful to them.

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Speaker 4: You've earned it and I quite like the idea.

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Speaker 5: L if you could champion of throwing it out of

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Speaker 5: the women of Sydney. If you want to burn your wedding.

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Speaker 4: Dress tag El McPherson.

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Speaker 5: We're all going to have ceremonial. Oh we love it.

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Speaker 5: How the book is out tomorrow. Thank you so much

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Speaker 5: for your.

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Speaker 1: Time, your book. You're welcome, guys, Let's laugh.

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Speaker 5: You're the best.

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Speaker 2: Take care, Bye bye.

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Speaker 5: It's in Whipper with Kate Ritchie is a Nova podcast

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Speaker 5: walk great shows like this.

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Speaker 4: Download the Nova Player via the App.

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Speaker 2: Store or Google Play.

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Speaker 1: The Nova player