1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:04,080 Speaker 1: I'll get a tiff, I'll get a harps again. 2 00:00:04,640 --> 00:00:08,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's just keep going. Okay, so let's continue the discussion. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:11,640 Speaker 2: So tell me what doctor Bill says. You were just 4 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 2: saying to me. Doctor Bill says gently gently. 5 00:00:13,920 --> 00:00:18,120 Speaker 1: Right, yeah, gently gently. Yeah, that's how we talk to ourselves. 6 00:00:18,600 --> 00:00:20,040 Speaker 2: Yeah, and I was just saying, I've got a head 7 00:00:20,079 --> 00:00:21,920 Speaker 2: like a busted bumb I was joking that I walk 8 00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,959 Speaker 2: past the mirror and I catch myself. I take my 9 00:00:23,960 --> 00:00:25,880 Speaker 2: own breath away because I'm so hot, and you laughed 10 00:00:25,880 --> 00:00:28,400 Speaker 2: and I went, no, I actually think I look like 11 00:00:28,520 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 2: Shrek and I need a use. Gone right, And then 12 00:00:30,440 --> 00:00:36,560 Speaker 2: you said gently gently you know, you know how, what's 13 00:00:36,600 --> 00:00:41,680 Speaker 2: the line or what's this? What's that point where positive 14 00:00:41,720 --> 00:00:46,199 Speaker 2: self talk becomes delusion? You know, it's like you know 15 00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 2: where you're like, oh yeah, it's like, you know, be all, 16 00:00:49,840 --> 00:00:53,600 Speaker 2: you can be sure, but at the same time, you 17 00:00:53,640 --> 00:00:58,240 Speaker 2: know you can't do anything and everything. It's like, well, 18 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,560 Speaker 2: you can be whatever you want. No, you can't. That's 19 00:01:01,640 --> 00:01:05,200 Speaker 2: that isn't true. It sounds good and it's positive, but 20 00:01:05,240 --> 00:01:08,520 Speaker 2: it's kind of delusional because we can't. You know, not 21 00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:11,440 Speaker 2: everyone can win a Nobel Peace Prize. Not everyone can 22 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:14,600 Speaker 2: run one hundred meters in ten seconds. Not everyone can 23 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:16,280 Speaker 2: be a famous singer. 24 00:01:16,440 --> 00:01:16,560 Speaker 1: Not. 25 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 2: You know, there's a lot of things that Craig Harper 26 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:24,760 Speaker 2: can't do. And also in the like when does me 27 00:01:25,040 --> 00:01:29,160 Speaker 2: pumping up my own tires? My American listeners will be going, 28 00:01:29,240 --> 00:01:31,840 Speaker 2: what does that mean? But when does me? 29 00:01:32,480 --> 00:01:34,199 Speaker 1: When do you get a flat tire? 30 00:01:35,680 --> 00:01:38,720 Speaker 2: When does me pumping up my own tires become me 31 00:01:39,160 --> 00:01:42,440 Speaker 2: having a fat head? Like what's the what's the balance 32 00:01:42,520 --> 00:01:46,000 Speaker 2: there between looking after yourself, not beating yourself up, but 33 00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:50,400 Speaker 2: also going like, okay, you did you fucked that up? 34 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:55,360 Speaker 2: You fucked that up. You're the problem or you're not 35 00:01:55,400 --> 00:01:57,640 Speaker 2: in great shape. Craig like I had to get really 36 00:01:57,680 --> 00:02:00,960 Speaker 2: brutal with myself quite a few times over the years 37 00:02:00,960 --> 00:02:03,480 Speaker 2: where I had to go, yeah, the way that you eat, 38 00:02:03,520 --> 00:02:05,680 Speaker 2: the way that you move or don't move, your lifestyle 39 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:07,760 Speaker 2: is a problem, and you're the problem because you're the 40 00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:10,440 Speaker 2: one making all the decisions and doing all the things. 41 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:14,000 Speaker 2: Like what's that space in there? 42 00:02:14,520 --> 00:02:17,880 Speaker 1: I reckon that It's interesting because I reckon that there's 43 00:02:17,919 --> 00:02:23,320 Speaker 1: a part that exists inside this theory and between theory 44 00:02:23,360 --> 00:02:26,000 Speaker 1: and practice of all of the stuff we talk about, 45 00:02:26,200 --> 00:02:31,960 Speaker 1: Right Yeah, that is that can be unteachable because there's 46 00:02:32,040 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 1: this potential gap. This is kind of your research. I 47 00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:40,160 Speaker 1: guess there's this gap between our understanding even just language. 48 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:44,080 Speaker 1: Like always banging on about that book that Brene Brown 49 00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:47,079 Speaker 1: wrote that was of the Heart, which dives deep into 50 00:02:48,080 --> 00:02:55,600 Speaker 1: our language, our vocabulary, and our relationship with the words 51 00:02:55,600 --> 00:02:59,240 Speaker 1: we use, right, And when you really really burrow down 52 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,520 Speaker 1: into the meat of words, you realize that a conversation 53 00:03:02,639 --> 00:03:06,640 Speaker 1: that's being had between two people has a completely different 54 00:03:06,680 --> 00:03:09,520 Speaker 1: meaning to both of them, like even just around her 55 00:03:09,520 --> 00:03:14,600 Speaker 1: books based on emotions, your emotional literacy and emotional vocabulary. Yes, 56 00:03:14,760 --> 00:03:19,000 Speaker 1: we don't know ourselves. So we go into these spaces 57 00:03:19,080 --> 00:03:24,520 Speaker 1: where we listen to speakers or inspirational people or coaches, 58 00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,000 Speaker 1: and we get coaching and we go I want to 59 00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:29,679 Speaker 1: be more like this, and then we apply the theory 60 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,480 Speaker 1: into a practice. But does that theory land with us? 61 00:03:33,600 --> 00:03:36,839 Speaker 1: And what is our what is the meaning we've made 62 00:03:36,880 --> 00:03:40,240 Speaker 1: of it? And how aware are we? 63 00:03:42,480 --> 00:03:46,160 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just writing something down three languages. I'm going 64 00:03:46,200 --> 00:03:48,000 Speaker 2: to come back to that. I had a theory when 65 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 2: I was having a pooh this morning. I'm going to 66 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,880 Speaker 2: share it with you all. I'll tell you what, there's 67 00:03:51,880 --> 00:03:54,040 Speaker 2: a lot of revelation that goes on on the dunny 68 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 2: squatty body. 69 00:03:55,160 --> 00:03:58,280 Speaker 1: Thoughts with Harps. That could be a segment, Yeah. 70 00:03:58,000 --> 00:04:02,200 Speaker 2: That's right. Thoughts from the crap that could be a podcast. 71 00:04:02,240 --> 00:04:10,800 Speaker 2: Thoughts from the crapper, what's from Doney? That'd be great, 72 00:04:10,840 --> 00:04:13,560 Speaker 2: wasn't it. That could be a book, just a little, 73 00:04:13,640 --> 00:04:15,360 Speaker 2: you know, one hundred little thoughts from the bog. 74 00:04:15,880 --> 00:04:18,560 Speaker 1: Do you realize how much you light up when you 75 00:04:18,600 --> 00:04:20,960 Speaker 1: get to mention pooh? 76 00:04:22,520 --> 00:04:26,479 Speaker 2: It's just I mean, it's just I'm twelve years old, 77 00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:30,359 Speaker 2: trapped in this fucking dinosaur of a body. I do 78 00:04:30,400 --> 00:04:33,120 Speaker 2: you know what? I love laughing at silly shit. And 79 00:04:33,440 --> 00:04:36,400 Speaker 2: I understand that a lot of people don't laugh at what. 80 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:40,000 Speaker 2: I get it. I get it. But for me, I think, 81 00:04:40,160 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 2: do you know what? And we'll come back to the 82 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 2: conversation we were having. But if I don't laugh quite 83 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:48,480 Speaker 2: a few times a day, I've I don't have as 84 00:04:48,520 --> 00:04:51,279 Speaker 2: good a day. And because I have a lot of 85 00:04:51,320 --> 00:04:55,200 Speaker 2: hard conversations with people, and you know, right now I'm 86 00:04:55,240 --> 00:04:58,080 Speaker 2: dealing with some stuff which everyone's heard about too much, 87 00:04:58,680 --> 00:05:01,360 Speaker 2: you know, a few hard things in the middle of that. 88 00:05:01,400 --> 00:05:04,240 Speaker 2: There's got to be some fucking swings roundabouts, Like there's 89 00:05:04,279 --> 00:05:05,880 Speaker 2: got to be a bit of in with the yang, 90 00:05:05,880 --> 00:05:09,360 Speaker 2: there's got to be some light with the dark. And yeah, 91 00:05:09,360 --> 00:05:12,719 Speaker 2: I love it. I love talking about silly shit. And 92 00:05:13,040 --> 00:05:16,719 Speaker 2: I feel sorry for people that get to a time 93 00:05:16,839 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 2: on their journey where it seems like they don't laugh 94 00:05:20,279 --> 00:05:23,159 Speaker 2: anymore and they don't have fun anymore, and they don't 95 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,160 Speaker 2: have And I'm not talking about people who are in 96 00:05:26,240 --> 00:05:30,680 Speaker 2: dire situations. I'm talking about just in general, Like how 97 00:05:30,680 --> 00:05:35,600 Speaker 2: many people who've got, you know, like their life on 98 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:38,480 Speaker 2: a practical level is pretty comfortable. They've got a pretty 99 00:05:38,520 --> 00:05:40,640 Speaker 2: good job, they've got a pretty good situation at home, 100 00:05:40,720 --> 00:05:44,080 Speaker 2: and you know, some money, and they're not dying anytime soon, 101 00:05:44,120 --> 00:05:46,320 Speaker 2: and everyone's kind of okay. But in the middle of 102 00:05:46,360 --> 00:05:49,880 Speaker 2: all of that, they don't ever seem to laugh or 103 00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:53,880 Speaker 2: have fun or they don't. Yeah, So I don't know 104 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,240 Speaker 2: that sounds very judgy. I don't mean to be judgmental. 105 00:05:57,279 --> 00:06:00,159 Speaker 2: I actually have empty some of the people that I 106 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,600 Speaker 2: know that their life on a practical level is great, 107 00:06:04,360 --> 00:06:05,599 Speaker 2: but that don't seem to laugh. 108 00:06:05,920 --> 00:06:09,599 Speaker 1: So that can almost relate to what we were talking 109 00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,320 Speaker 1: about before. By the standpoint of all of the focus 110 00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: that we put on on the ways and practices and 111 00:06:16,640 --> 00:06:19,839 Speaker 1: rituals of making our lives better, and in the middle 112 00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,320 Speaker 1: of that, we're not actually living the life. We're not 113 00:06:22,360 --> 00:06:24,040 Speaker 1: in the middle of it. When I was at the airport, 114 00:06:24,600 --> 00:06:27,280 Speaker 1: the baggage lady comes up. She's helping me. She takes 115 00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:28,839 Speaker 1: me over to where I should be when I was 116 00:06:28,839 --> 00:06:31,440 Speaker 1: at the wrong place, doing the wrong thing, and out 117 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:34,479 Speaker 1: of nowhere, she goes, I help, I'll do it for 118 00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:36,960 Speaker 1: you because you're nice. And I hadn't gone out of 119 00:06:36,960 --> 00:06:39,479 Speaker 1: my way. I wasn't being nice. I just wasn't being 120 00:06:39,480 --> 00:06:43,320 Speaker 1: an asshole. And I laughed and I said, well, people 121 00:06:43,440 --> 00:06:45,520 Speaker 1: very nice. She goes, no, especially not a jet Star, 122 00:06:45,560 --> 00:06:48,000 Speaker 1: and I'm like, oh, if you don't like jet stay, 123 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:49,960 Speaker 1: you probably shouldn't fly a jet Star. She gives me 124 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:53,120 Speaker 1: a big high five, and then I get on the 125 00:06:53,160 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 1: flight and the captain or whoever does the voiceover was 126 00:06:58,160 --> 00:07:01,480 Speaker 1: like a comedy skit. He was so funny, and I'm cacking. 127 00:07:01,560 --> 00:07:04,840 Speaker 1: I'm laughing out loud in front of the whole plane, 128 00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:08,320 Speaker 1: and I just thought, what a joy. I will fly 129 00:07:08,440 --> 00:07:11,480 Speaker 1: Jet Start every time if this is what happens. It's 130 00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,120 Speaker 1: so funny. Not everyone's laughing that most people are going 131 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:16,840 Speaker 1: on holidays. Why you're not happy? Bro? 132 00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:21,560 Speaker 2: Yeah, don't you love being in the middle of energy? 133 00:07:22,200 --> 00:07:24,440 Speaker 2: That's good, like whether or not it's in a shop 134 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:26,640 Speaker 2: or on a plane or in a fucking what about. 135 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,280 Speaker 2: I spend a lot of time when I'm traveling in elevators. 136 00:07:29,320 --> 00:07:32,480 Speaker 2: They're good, They're not awkward at all. They're not that's 137 00:07:32,560 --> 00:07:37,080 Speaker 2: not I just go and it sometimes is like fucking 138 00:07:37,200 --> 00:07:42,640 Speaker 2: ten people in an elevator literally touching each other, pretending 139 00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:45,400 Speaker 2: that no one else is there. I don't know what 140 00:07:45,440 --> 00:07:48,000 Speaker 2: we're meant to do. I know there's no set protocol, 141 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:53,000 Speaker 2: but fucking hell, it's an interesting sociological phenomenon, is just 142 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,480 Speaker 2: watching all of these people try not to talk or 143 00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:01,800 Speaker 2: fart or fucking interact or yeah, it's such a weird. 144 00:08:01,880 --> 00:08:05,200 Speaker 2: Let's put these people in a box and then shuttle 145 00:08:05,240 --> 00:08:08,880 Speaker 2: them up ten stories while they ignore each other and 146 00:08:09,120 --> 00:08:15,400 Speaker 2: don't talk. But back to our conversation, right, So I 147 00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:20,520 Speaker 2: am serious about this, like we seem to be in 148 00:08:20,560 --> 00:08:25,280 Speaker 2: a time where we're very very much encouraged to, you know, 149 00:08:25,400 --> 00:08:27,800 Speaker 2: do some self care. I need to be careful. I 150 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 2: don't be condescending. I don't mean to be right. I think, 151 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,280 Speaker 2: you know, we need to look after ourselves, but not 152 00:08:34,720 --> 00:08:39,439 Speaker 2: not all looking after yourself needs to be comfortable or pampering. 153 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,640 Speaker 2: Sometimes looking up after yourself is doing a workout that's 154 00:08:43,679 --> 00:08:48,000 Speaker 2: fucking horrible. Sometimes that's looking after yourself. Like we seem 155 00:08:48,080 --> 00:08:52,880 Speaker 2: to associate looking after yourself with doing something that's easy 156 00:08:53,040 --> 00:08:59,240 Speaker 2: or comfortable or relaxing, whereas I go, yeah, maybe I 157 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,440 Speaker 2: definitely think that should be part of it. But I 158 00:09:02,480 --> 00:09:05,720 Speaker 2: think looking after you is also making hard decisions and 159 00:09:05,840 --> 00:09:11,199 Speaker 2: doing hard things and creating good outcomes that will serve 160 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:14,600 Speaker 2: you moving forward. Not so much Oh this is going 161 00:09:14,679 --> 00:09:17,000 Speaker 2: to make me feel good in the moment. No, it 162 00:09:17,080 --> 00:09:21,120 Speaker 2: might make you feel shit in the moment. Like self 163 00:09:21,120 --> 00:09:26,080 Speaker 2: care doesn't need to be about immediate return. Maybe self care, 164 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,720 Speaker 2: maybe you looking after you is about the decisions and 165 00:09:29,760 --> 00:09:33,599 Speaker 2: behaviors in the short term to create something fucking spectacular 166 00:09:34,200 --> 00:09:38,240 Speaker 2: that you can inhabit over the long term. That's self care. 167 00:09:38,840 --> 00:09:45,640 Speaker 2: Like when people think I'm quite brutal sometimes and I'm 168 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:51,080 Speaker 2: quite brutal on myself, and I think, okay, so I 169 00:09:51,280 --> 00:09:52,960 Speaker 2: don't do a lot of things that a lot of 170 00:09:53,679 --> 00:09:56,600 Speaker 2: sixty year old Australian blokes do. And that doesn't make 171 00:09:56,640 --> 00:09:58,680 Speaker 2: me better or worse. There's just you know, like I've 172 00:09:58,720 --> 00:10:02,600 Speaker 2: never had it alcohol, that's weird. I've never been married, 173 00:10:02,600 --> 00:10:04,520 Speaker 2: that's weird. I'm not saying that's good or bad. I've 174 00:10:04,520 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 2: never had a recreational drug or cigarette, you know, all 175 00:10:09,800 --> 00:10:12,400 Speaker 2: of these things. And I've probably missed ten days of 176 00:10:12,440 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 2: training in the last fifty years or forty seven years, right, 177 00:10:18,120 --> 00:10:20,320 Speaker 2: And that's not say ant I great. I'm just that's 178 00:10:20,360 --> 00:10:22,400 Speaker 2: just saying, well, these are the things that work for me. 179 00:10:23,240 --> 00:10:26,120 Speaker 2: But I think all of doing things that are good 180 00:10:26,160 --> 00:10:29,040 Speaker 2: for you and avoiding things that are bad for you, 181 00:10:29,760 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 2: that's self care. Like putting yourself through an arduous, painful 182 00:10:35,200 --> 00:10:39,840 Speaker 2: process that does a good thing for you. That's that 183 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:42,480 Speaker 2: can be self care, right, Yeah. 184 00:10:42,600 --> 00:10:45,920 Speaker 1: But it's it's the same things for different people can 185 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:49,760 Speaker 1: be like it's the one the intention behind it, and 186 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:55,480 Speaker 1: two it's that space of our unconscious programming. Like I 187 00:10:55,520 --> 00:10:57,559 Speaker 1: guess I was just reflecting as you were talking. And 188 00:10:57,679 --> 00:11:01,240 Speaker 1: when when doctor Bill is pull out there gently gently 189 00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:06,240 Speaker 1: quite often, and it's often in response to we'll be 190 00:11:06,320 --> 00:11:11,560 Speaker 1: discussing a reflection or a pattern, and patterns are often 191 00:11:11,600 --> 00:11:14,520 Speaker 1: things that have been programmed, programmed the years and years 192 00:11:14,559 --> 00:11:19,480 Speaker 1: and years that happen unconsciously. They're unconscious behaviors that we're 193 00:11:19,679 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: getting insight into and so taking conscious belittling ourselves and 194 00:11:28,320 --> 00:11:31,880 Speaker 1: beating ourselves up for this unconscious program thing that we're 195 00:11:31,920 --> 00:11:36,640 Speaker 1: still yet to really understand when, why, and how it 196 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,439 Speaker 1: happens is probably not helpful. 197 00:11:41,280 --> 00:11:44,959 Speaker 2: Well, one, I agree with you. I concur your honor. 198 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,640 Speaker 2: I concur with you, and doctor Bill. Okay, so I'm 199 00:11:49,640 --> 00:11:53,200 Speaker 2: a useless fuck with. Well that's not helpful. But I 200 00:11:53,320 --> 00:11:56,160 Speaker 2: made a stupid decision this morning and I was a 201 00:11:56,200 --> 00:11:59,640 Speaker 2: fuck with for five minutes. And I can do better, 202 00:11:59,679 --> 00:12:04,000 Speaker 2: think to create better. But I'm not globally a fuck with. 203 00:12:04,200 --> 00:12:08,760 Speaker 2: But sometimes I indulge in fuck witty, which, of course 204 00:12:08,880 --> 00:12:12,480 Speaker 2: is a noun. Yeah, fu is a describing word. It's 205 00:12:12,520 --> 00:12:17,600 Speaker 2: an magic kid. Fuck witting is the verb are you welcome? Everyone? 206 00:12:18,640 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 1: Everybody? 207 00:12:21,960 --> 00:12:26,000 Speaker 2: There'll be a test at the end. But I think, look, 208 00:12:26,040 --> 00:12:29,800 Speaker 2: I agree like call, you know, calling yourself useless and 209 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:33,640 Speaker 2: this and that I've never been. Of course, that's destructive, 210 00:12:33,679 --> 00:12:37,360 Speaker 2: that's unhealthy, that's toxic, that's no good for you. We 211 00:12:37,440 --> 00:12:41,679 Speaker 2: get that, we get that, But there's also, you know 212 00:12:41,720 --> 00:12:47,240 Speaker 2: you can recognize You can recognize your own mistakes and 213 00:12:47,320 --> 00:12:53,200 Speaker 2: shortcomings and flaws without hating yourself. I could list ten 214 00:12:53,360 --> 00:12:57,319 Speaker 2: things that I need to do better and ten mistakes 215 00:12:57,320 --> 00:13:00,880 Speaker 2: that I've made in the last week, probably, But in 216 00:13:00,920 --> 00:13:04,280 Speaker 2: the middle of that, I don't hate myself. Yeah, I 217 00:13:04,320 --> 00:13:08,440 Speaker 2: don't hate myself. But do I acknowledge my flaws and 218 00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:11,720 Speaker 2: my insecurity and my bullshit as I have one million 219 00:13:11,760 --> 00:13:14,720 Speaker 2: times on this show, Yeah, I sure do. Why not 220 00:13:14,840 --> 00:13:19,760 Speaker 2: because I'm broken or shit, but because I'm human, And 221 00:13:19,800 --> 00:13:23,560 Speaker 2: that's just part of being a human. Like show me 222 00:13:23,800 --> 00:13:26,880 Speaker 2: one person who listens to this show, who isn't an 223 00:13:26,880 --> 00:13:29,520 Speaker 2: idiot at some stage, who doesn't do dumb things, who 224 00:13:29,520 --> 00:13:33,480 Speaker 2: doesn't make mistakes, who never ever has an emotional outburst, 225 00:13:33,480 --> 00:13:37,400 Speaker 2: who is perfect, and who you know that person doesn't exist. 226 00:13:37,400 --> 00:13:39,920 Speaker 2: So that's all of us. So the question is not 227 00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:42,720 Speaker 2: are we a bit brilliant and a bit broken? The 228 00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:44,760 Speaker 2: answer is probably, yeah, We're all a bit of that, 229 00:13:44,920 --> 00:13:49,280 Speaker 2: at least at times. The question is what do I 230 00:13:49,400 --> 00:13:51,679 Speaker 2: need to get better at and what am I doing 231 00:13:52,320 --> 00:13:54,680 Speaker 2: to get better at that? What do I need to 232 00:13:54,760 --> 00:13:59,360 Speaker 2: acknowledge and what am I aware of? Which is vastly 233 00:13:59,440 --> 00:14:03,720 Speaker 2: different from hating myself about you know, it's like that. 234 00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 2: You know, like I think I told you A lady 235 00:14:06,679 --> 00:14:09,440 Speaker 2: said to me once early days and the U Project 236 00:14:09,440 --> 00:14:12,360 Speaker 2: sent me a message and said, are you sometimes you 237 00:14:12,480 --> 00:14:17,280 Speaker 2: talk over guests And my immediate was response was fuck you, right, 238 00:14:19,200 --> 00:14:23,000 Speaker 2: like that's my ego, though, that's my ego. And then 239 00:14:23,120 --> 00:14:25,800 Speaker 2: twelve seconds later when I went, well, that's my ego 240 00:14:26,560 --> 00:14:31,960 Speaker 2: and let me let me just turn down that very human, inappropriate, 241 00:14:33,680 --> 00:14:37,320 Speaker 2: flawed response and let me listen to an episode because 242 00:14:37,360 --> 00:14:40,120 Speaker 2: I never did, and she was exactly right, and I 243 00:14:40,200 --> 00:14:43,640 Speaker 2: was one hundred pcent wrong, And you know, am I 244 00:14:43,760 --> 00:14:47,400 Speaker 2: perfect at that now? Definitely not? But you just go, oh, 245 00:14:47,480 --> 00:14:50,000 Speaker 2: like this is the and I'll shut up after this. 246 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,040 Speaker 2: This is the thing. It's like we say we like feedback, 247 00:14:53,800 --> 00:14:58,600 Speaker 2: we fucking don't. We like praise, we like endorsement, we 248 00:14:58,800 --> 00:15:03,200 Speaker 2: like accolades. You tell somebody something that is or you 249 00:15:03,320 --> 00:15:07,280 Speaker 2: highlight a and with good intentions. I mean, I'm not 250 00:15:07,320 --> 00:15:11,200 Speaker 2: talking about picking on somebody, but if you bring to 251 00:15:11,280 --> 00:15:19,440 Speaker 2: someone's attention a a not very positive kind of trait 252 00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:23,720 Speaker 2: or characteristic, it's a rare person that's genuinely happy have 253 00:15:23,760 --> 00:15:25,480 Speaker 2: done that. M M. 254 00:15:27,480 --> 00:15:32,680 Speaker 1: What do you think about though, our ability to really 255 00:15:32,800 --> 00:15:38,840 Speaker 1: understand our relationship with self on it? Like really, so, 256 00:15:41,800 --> 00:15:45,080 Speaker 1: I'm thinking of a particular quite a while ago, a 257 00:15:45,080 --> 00:15:47,480 Speaker 1: particular session I had with old mate doctor Bill. Let's 258 00:15:47,520 --> 00:15:52,040 Speaker 1: just open the door wide on my therapy. But I 259 00:15:52,080 --> 00:15:54,680 Speaker 1: have this conversation with him, and he was talking about 260 00:15:54,720 --> 00:15:57,640 Speaker 1: the idea of psychotherapy and you know, his philosophy around 261 00:15:57,680 --> 00:15:59,920 Speaker 1: the first you know, the first law of psycho therapy 262 00:16:00,120 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 1: is you believe what you hear yourself say, you know, 263 00:16:03,520 --> 00:16:06,120 Speaker 1: like this this relationship with hearing what you say, so 264 00:16:06,280 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 1: talking and we're doing this session and I'm picturing little Tiff, 265 00:16:10,920 --> 00:16:13,440 Speaker 1: you know whatever, five six seven year old Tiff sitting 266 00:16:13,440 --> 00:16:15,280 Speaker 1: on a chair in the corner doing that weird thing, 267 00:16:15,360 --> 00:16:17,600 Speaker 1: you know, like have a look at her, look at her, 268 00:16:17,680 --> 00:16:20,720 Speaker 1: look at her, and you know it is it her fault. 269 00:16:21,640 --> 00:16:27,440 Speaker 1: And obviously obviously I'm I'm like, I know what we're 270 00:16:27,480 --> 00:16:31,720 Speaker 1: referring to is not her fault. But this, as I 271 00:16:31,800 --> 00:16:36,960 Speaker 1: went to answer, this feeling shot through my whole body 272 00:16:38,360 --> 00:16:43,560 Speaker 1: and I went, oh shit, Bill, I just get what 273 00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 1: you mean. I just in that moment, I realized that 274 00:16:48,440 --> 00:16:50,280 Speaker 1: there's a part of me that thinks it's her fault 275 00:16:50,440 --> 00:16:52,440 Speaker 1: because I can't say it, and it wasn't until I 276 00:16:52,480 --> 00:16:55,000 Speaker 1: went to say it. So there's this part of me 277 00:16:55,120 --> 00:16:57,640 Speaker 1: that there's this logic that goes, of course, not she's 278 00:16:57,880 --> 00:16:58,480 Speaker 1: she's a kid. 279 00:16:58,760 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 2: Course not. 280 00:16:59,520 --> 00:17:02,040 Speaker 1: Of course it's not her fault. And if it's anyone 281 00:17:02,040 --> 00:17:05,880 Speaker 1: else that has the same experience as her, I empathize 282 00:17:05,880 --> 00:17:08,560 Speaker 1: fully with them. But in this moment where I went 283 00:17:08,640 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 1: to voice that, I couldn't because there was a part 284 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:15,840 Speaker 1: of me going, yep, shame on her. And so I 285 00:17:15,840 --> 00:17:19,439 Speaker 1: don't know if we we understand that relationship with ourselves. 286 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,199 Speaker 1: A lot of people can't stand in front of the 287 00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,560 Speaker 1: mirror and look themselves in the eye and say I 288 00:17:23,600 --> 00:17:26,719 Speaker 1: love you. I cannot do it. Some people can't, some 289 00:17:26,760 --> 00:17:28,720 Speaker 1: people trained at the gym, they cannot look in the 290 00:17:28,760 --> 00:17:31,240 Speaker 1: mirror at all. They're like, I don't want to, don't 291 00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:32,480 Speaker 1: make me stand in front of the mirror. 292 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:39,440 Speaker 2: Yeah, the I mean trying to understand yourself. Like Socrates 293 00:17:39,520 --> 00:17:41,600 Speaker 2: said this two and a half thousand years ago, right 294 00:17:42,320 --> 00:17:48,000 Speaker 2: to understand thyself, right understanding thyself. So this is this 295 00:17:48,080 --> 00:17:51,680 Speaker 2: predates me, and you know by twenty years two and 296 00:17:51,680 --> 00:17:55,360 Speaker 2: a half thousand years ago, right, So does joke tip 297 00:17:57,400 --> 00:17:59,359 Speaker 2: two and a half thousand. That's all right, cut that out. 298 00:17:59,480 --> 00:18:01,520 Speaker 1: Still doing I'm still still on the maths. 299 00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:05,479 Speaker 2: Bro leave it in. But I mean, you think about it. 300 00:18:05,520 --> 00:18:10,400 Speaker 2: So the Stoics, we're talking about these concepts literally before Jesus, right, 301 00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:14,479 Speaker 2: five hundred two, three, four hundred years before Jesus arrived 302 00:18:14,480 --> 00:18:19,240 Speaker 2: on the scene. And the Gang, the Twelve, the Boys, 303 00:18:19,359 --> 00:18:24,320 Speaker 2: the lad just big a, the Big Apostles hanging her 304 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:31,119 Speaker 2: out in Jerusalem anyway and surrounds. But like this, this 305 00:18:31,240 --> 00:18:33,840 Speaker 2: two and a half thousand plus year old question of 306 00:18:33,880 --> 00:18:38,400 Speaker 2: who the fuck am I? That's what psychology explores. That's 307 00:18:38,440 --> 00:18:45,040 Speaker 2: why philosophy explores, That's what theology explores. That's what stoicism explores. 308 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:51,120 Speaker 2: And I think that it's like the eternal question, it's 309 00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:57,040 Speaker 2: the perpetual question. But I think the thing is to 310 00:18:57,200 --> 00:19:02,520 Speaker 2: understand that that I'm I'm one thing, but I'm many things. 311 00:19:03,040 --> 00:19:09,159 Speaker 2: So the is a single singular noun, right, the like 312 00:19:09,240 --> 00:19:12,520 Speaker 2: to understand the self. Well, I'm not a mind or 313 00:19:12,560 --> 00:19:16,320 Speaker 2: a brain, or a body or a spirit or an 314 00:19:16,320 --> 00:19:21,000 Speaker 2: emotional system or my experiences. I'm not the sum total 315 00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,280 Speaker 2: of my knowledge or talent or cells or like I'm 316 00:19:25,320 --> 00:19:30,040 Speaker 2: all of it. I am this fucking convergence of psychology 317 00:19:30,080 --> 00:19:35,920 Speaker 2: and emotion and spirituality and physiology and anatomy and experiences 318 00:19:36,040 --> 00:19:40,480 Speaker 2: and light and darkness and energy. And yeah, I don't 319 00:19:40,520 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 2: know that we ever understand the totality of ourselves. But 320 00:19:43,920 --> 00:19:48,240 Speaker 2: I think that the way that psychology has dealt with this, 321 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:55,280 Speaker 2: in part is through things like metacognition, the well worn 322 00:19:55,520 --> 00:19:59,800 Speaker 2: conversational path on this show of metacognition, which is where 323 00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:03,800 Speaker 2: we genuinely try to understand how our mind works, Like 324 00:20:03,880 --> 00:20:07,400 Speaker 2: why do I think like this? Why do I? And 325 00:20:07,600 --> 00:20:11,280 Speaker 2: you know the self as an experience, you know, me, 326 00:20:11,480 --> 00:20:16,520 Speaker 2: experiencing me, me, understanding me is going to be way 327 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,800 Speaker 2: different to the self that Tiff knows because I can 328 00:20:19,920 --> 00:20:23,760 Speaker 2: never have you know, ergo in my research, what what 329 00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:25,800 Speaker 2: do I think it's like being me? What do I 330 00:20:25,840 --> 00:20:28,719 Speaker 2: think Tiff? How do I think Tiff sees me? And 331 00:20:28,760 --> 00:20:32,080 Speaker 2: then how does Tiff see me? This is why this 332 00:20:32,240 --> 00:20:34,960 Speaker 2: research that I've done for six years and these questions 333 00:20:34,960 --> 00:20:39,959 Speaker 2: to me are like not only important, but really fascinating. 334 00:20:40,160 --> 00:20:44,200 Speaker 2: And I think, yeah, I think on a simple level, 335 00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:48,320 Speaker 2: on a sociological level, we are the byproduct of our 336 00:20:48,400 --> 00:20:51,560 Speaker 2: experiences and our interactions and our friends and our family, 337 00:20:51,640 --> 00:20:54,280 Speaker 2: and our church and our synagogue, and our school, and 338 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:57,840 Speaker 2: our teachers and our buddies and our cohort and our colleagues, 339 00:20:58,640 --> 00:21:02,680 Speaker 2: and all of the social and interpersonal interactions that came 340 00:21:02,720 --> 00:21:04,960 Speaker 2: out of all of those people. You know, what music 341 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,720 Speaker 2: did I listen to? What TV shows did I watch? 342 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:10,600 Speaker 2: What movies did I love? What? You know? And I 343 00:21:10,760 --> 00:21:13,520 Speaker 2: become all of that or a version of all of that. 344 00:21:13,640 --> 00:21:17,400 Speaker 2: And that's probably you know, research says, who the fuck 345 00:21:17,520 --> 00:21:21,760 Speaker 2: knows whether research is lying, But maybe twenty percent of 346 00:21:21,800 --> 00:21:24,359 Speaker 2: who you are and how you are is genetic and 347 00:21:24,400 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 2: the rest is just all of those those myriad of 348 00:21:28,080 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 2: variables that you've bumped into over your journey. 349 00:21:31,280 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 1: How's this for interesting? Yesterday had a conversation with someone 350 00:21:34,680 --> 00:21:40,840 Speaker 1: former athlete hit by a truck, died, had an experience 351 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:44,480 Speaker 1: of being in what they call the in between, saw 352 00:21:44,560 --> 00:21:49,359 Speaker 1: their body in the theater broken, chose said, made the 353 00:21:49,520 --> 00:21:52,240 Speaker 1: choice to go back into it and live that life 354 00:21:52,359 --> 00:21:56,320 Speaker 1: knowing that body was broken. But then later in the conversation, 355 00:21:57,920 --> 00:22:01,639 Speaker 1: had all of this shame about the body, right, this 356 00:22:02,200 --> 00:22:05,560 Speaker 1: so ashamed of the body, And so we were talking 357 00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:08,720 Speaker 1: about this identity with so you've made it so you 358 00:22:08,760 --> 00:22:11,879 Speaker 1: know through experience in your life that you are not 359 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:15,240 Speaker 1: your body. You are separate because you sat over the top, 360 00:22:15,440 --> 00:22:18,879 Speaker 1: saw the vehicle and chose to go get back in 361 00:22:18,920 --> 00:22:22,400 Speaker 1: that vehicle and finish your time here in this life. 362 00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:26,280 Speaker 1: But yet that time in this life, you are harboring 363 00:22:26,840 --> 00:22:32,399 Speaker 1: shame for yourself, which is shame for the body. And 364 00:22:32,480 --> 00:22:34,560 Speaker 1: I thought that was really interesting. 365 00:22:35,560 --> 00:22:42,080 Speaker 2: That is so interesting. Well, also think about the culture 366 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:44,520 Speaker 2: that we live in. And when I say things everyone, 367 00:22:44,680 --> 00:22:47,800 Speaker 2: I'm generalizing, so I know this is not everyone and 368 00:22:47,840 --> 00:22:51,760 Speaker 2: every person, so but we very much live in a 369 00:22:51,840 --> 00:22:57,120 Speaker 2: time when, especially in social media, what you look like matters. Yeah, 370 00:22:57,240 --> 00:22:59,639 Speaker 2: you know people will say, oh, it doesn't matter. Really 371 00:22:59,680 --> 00:23:02,560 Speaker 2: have you have you actually have you been out into 372 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:06,520 Speaker 2: the world, like do you know how things work? And 373 00:23:06,600 --> 00:23:10,960 Speaker 2: so you know, if you're pretty or handsome, or young 374 00:23:11,200 --> 00:23:15,760 Speaker 2: or gorgeous or or middle aged and gorgeous or whatever, right, 375 00:23:15,840 --> 00:23:20,040 Speaker 2: but if you are physically attracted and you don't think 376 00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:24,199 Speaker 2: that has any social cachet or any social leverage or 377 00:23:24,240 --> 00:23:29,399 Speaker 2: advantage while you've been living under a rock, right, you 378 00:23:29,440 --> 00:23:34,080 Speaker 2: know what was funny And I'm I've never been and 379 00:23:34,119 --> 00:23:36,520 Speaker 2: I mean this sincerely and I'm not fishing. But because 380 00:23:36,520 --> 00:23:39,399 Speaker 2: I've never been like a handsome you know, when I 381 00:23:39,440 --> 00:23:41,800 Speaker 2: was young, I was in pretty good shape. That's about it, right, 382 00:23:41,800 --> 00:23:44,119 Speaker 2: But I've never been oh fuck and how good looking. 383 00:23:44,160 --> 00:23:46,439 Speaker 2: I've never been that guy. So I'm very comfortable with 384 00:23:46,560 --> 00:23:52,400 Speaker 2: being a Shrek. But what was funny was the other 385 00:23:52,520 --> 00:23:57,960 Speaker 2: day I had dinner. I was in don mcgig in Queensland, 386 00:23:58,040 --> 00:24:02,239 Speaker 2: and I had dinner with doctor Alex and monisters who 387 00:24:02,320 --> 00:24:06,360 Speaker 2: don't know Alex is forty is literally a brain surgeon. 388 00:24:06,920 --> 00:24:10,040 Speaker 2: He's a brain surgeon. He's forty forty two. He looks thirty. 389 00:24:10,640 --> 00:24:13,919 Speaker 2: He's six foot three, he could be literally a fucking 390 00:24:14,119 --> 00:24:18,080 Speaker 2: international model. He's a great guy. He's a really good human. 391 00:24:18,160 --> 00:24:20,600 Speaker 2: He'll hate me saying all of this, but and his 392 00:24:20,720 --> 00:24:23,800 Speaker 2: wife is equally a stunning which is ridiculous, Like they're 393 00:24:23,800 --> 00:24:28,360 Speaker 2: going to have the most fucking gorgeous children ever created. 394 00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:33,040 Speaker 2: But anyway, if they choose to go that path anyway, 395 00:24:33,440 --> 00:24:39,080 Speaker 2: So Alex is like, can we get a selfie? Mike? Ah? 396 00:24:39,920 --> 00:24:42,000 Speaker 2: Can we put a bag on your head? You know? 397 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:45,840 Speaker 2: Can we can I stand on a check and I 398 00:24:45,880 --> 00:24:49,760 Speaker 2: don't know, can we use all the filters? Fuck? Anyway. 399 00:24:49,920 --> 00:24:53,280 Speaker 2: So I'm reluctantly like, yeah, great, let's get a selfie 400 00:24:53,440 --> 00:24:58,679 Speaker 2: fucking Shrek and you know, Captain Hollywood anyway, So we 401 00:24:58,760 --> 00:25:01,560 Speaker 2: take this picture, put up the PI and I'm only 402 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:03,160 Speaker 2: fucking around. But it was good, it was good, catch 403 00:25:03,240 --> 00:25:05,639 Speaker 2: up with him, and blah blah blah blah blah. And 404 00:25:05,680 --> 00:25:08,960 Speaker 2: then I must have been asked by twenty people is 405 00:25:09,000 --> 00:25:14,040 Speaker 2: he single? Is he single? I mean twenty women, of course, 406 00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:19,920 Speaker 2: like not one person, which I completely understand when hey, harps, 407 00:25:19,960 --> 00:25:24,600 Speaker 2: you look good. Not one And so you'd like, you're 408 00:25:24,640 --> 00:25:28,960 Speaker 2: standing next to this really attractive human who happens to 409 00:25:29,000 --> 00:25:31,919 Speaker 2: be a dude, and you just go, oh, yeah, this 410 00:25:32,160 --> 00:25:35,320 Speaker 2: is and that. By the way, I'm not all offended. 411 00:25:35,359 --> 00:25:38,639 Speaker 2: I'm not all bothered. I would one hundred percent expect 412 00:25:38,760 --> 00:25:42,719 Speaker 2: that because he is fucking really handsome. I get it. 413 00:25:44,840 --> 00:25:47,080 Speaker 2: But what is funny? It's like, oh, yeah, that's that's 414 00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:50,000 Speaker 2: what Matt. Like. The only question that I was asked 415 00:25:50,040 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 2: about him was not oh, where does he do neurosurgery? 416 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,280 Speaker 2: Where is he? Or you know, does he It was 417 00:25:56,320 --> 00:26:00,359 Speaker 2: all about he's hot? Is he single? I'm like, yep, 418 00:26:00,480 --> 00:26:01,919 Speaker 2: that's how the world works. 419 00:26:02,280 --> 00:26:06,800 Speaker 1: It's interesting and it's been commercialized and it's been enhanced 420 00:26:06,840 --> 00:26:08,800 Speaker 1: I think by the world we live in, right, we've 421 00:26:08,800 --> 00:26:13,680 Speaker 1: been primed for it. But it exists because we're biologically 422 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:19,240 Speaker 1: hardwired to respond to those things. Like everything about what 423 00:26:19,760 --> 00:26:24,119 Speaker 1: typically is attractive in women and why they end up 424 00:26:24,160 --> 00:26:27,919 Speaker 1: getting fillers and lip fillers and things is enhancing the 425 00:26:28,000 --> 00:26:34,439 Speaker 1: areas that make us respond that show health or reproductive health, 426 00:26:35,200 --> 00:26:38,800 Speaker 1: or things that attract us from a biological unconscious level. 427 00:26:40,240 --> 00:26:42,240 Speaker 1: So it's kind of it's like, it's not. 428 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,080 Speaker 2: Hey, preaching to the choir bro. I mean, yeah, Like 429 00:26:48,960 --> 00:26:51,679 Speaker 2: here's the dichotomy. On the one hand, we have people 430 00:26:52,440 --> 00:26:54,840 Speaker 2: which is well meaning and well intended, going, you know what, 431 00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:58,040 Speaker 2: everyone's beautiful, doesn't matter what your way, it doesn't matter 432 00:26:58,040 --> 00:27:00,480 Speaker 2: what you look like, doesn't matter what you're cool, you know, 433 00:27:01,200 --> 00:27:11,720 Speaker 2: like preach high five. However, However, if you're gorgeous, it 434 00:27:11,800 --> 00:27:14,640 Speaker 2: doesn't mean life's going to be easy. But if you're gorgeous, 435 00:27:15,080 --> 00:27:20,359 Speaker 2: you're certainly going to have some advantages. Yeah, like hands down. 436 00:27:20,720 --> 00:27:23,920 Speaker 1: So I would say I would assume perhaps for men 437 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:28,600 Speaker 1: it's the same. When women have an attraction to a 438 00:27:28,640 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 1: man that is big and strong or that is successful, right, 439 00:27:34,600 --> 00:27:37,320 Speaker 1: people think that it's just gold digging. But maybe there 440 00:27:37,400 --> 00:27:42,040 Speaker 1: is something about oh, this recognition of their ability to provide. 441 00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:45,800 Speaker 1: Maybe it's that some of it's that simple it. 442 00:27:46,359 --> 00:27:48,520 Speaker 2: Is And that's the thing is it seems like in 443 00:27:48,560 --> 00:27:51,360 Speaker 2: twenty twenty five, these things that are driven. 444 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:54,800 Speaker 1: By more. 445 00:27:56,240 --> 00:27:59,720 Speaker 2: Almost evolutionary drives, Right, I want to be safe, I 446 00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:01,639 Speaker 2: want to be with someone strong, or I want to 447 00:28:01,640 --> 00:28:04,720 Speaker 2: be with someone that can provide kids or like these 448 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:09,160 Speaker 2: are these have been developed over hundreds of thousands of years, 449 00:28:09,680 --> 00:28:13,480 Speaker 2: and we forget that we're just fucking highly evolved animals. 450 00:28:14,240 --> 00:28:18,359 Speaker 2: Like we think we're so fucking spectacular. No, we're just 451 00:28:18,480 --> 00:28:23,760 Speaker 2: fucking primates who can string some words together. We are, yeah, 452 00:28:23,800 --> 00:28:27,000 Speaker 2: you know, ten minutes ago we're all fucking Neanderthals and 453 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:30,679 Speaker 2: now we're all like in fucking BMW's and wearing fucking 454 00:28:31,040 --> 00:28:37,199 Speaker 2: fancy nail polish and fucking talk about my nails. But 455 00:28:37,240 --> 00:28:41,360 Speaker 2: the thing is that and it's like you if there's 456 00:28:42,240 --> 00:28:45,440 Speaker 2: like if a guy's attracted to a girl, well that 457 00:28:45,560 --> 00:28:48,960 Speaker 2: is a biological response, like this is this is just 458 00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:51,880 Speaker 2: what's he's not trying to be a prick. Now what 459 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 2: he does with that attraction, well that's up to him. 460 00:28:54,680 --> 00:28:57,560 Speaker 2: If he behaves like a dickhead, that's not okay. He 461 00:28:57,600 --> 00:29:02,480 Speaker 2: says something inappropriate, that's not okay, But that innate attraction. Well, 462 00:29:02,840 --> 00:29:06,200 Speaker 2: just like if there's a guy who likes guys and 463 00:29:06,280 --> 00:29:09,160 Speaker 2: he's so he's homosexual and he's attracted to a man, 464 00:29:09,560 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 2: it just is what it is. Like he's not going, ah, 465 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:15,040 Speaker 2: you know what, I think I'll be gay. No, he's 466 00:29:15,120 --> 00:29:18,640 Speaker 2: just gay and that's cool. It's like I'm you know, 467 00:29:18,720 --> 00:29:23,040 Speaker 2: you go, well, I'm I'm heterosexual. Right. That wasn't a choice, 468 00:29:23,440 --> 00:29:26,440 Speaker 2: That's just how I'm wired. Just like if I bite 469 00:29:26,480 --> 00:29:30,120 Speaker 2: into an onion, it tastes fucking disgusting. If I eat asparagus, 470 00:29:30,120 --> 00:29:34,480 Speaker 2: to me, tastes like piss. Right, But there is I mean, 471 00:29:35,000 --> 00:29:38,920 Speaker 2: there are certain things. I was going to say, something 472 00:29:39,160 --> 00:29:42,880 Speaker 2: so terrible that I got to asparagus. I was about 473 00:29:42,880 --> 00:29:45,520 Speaker 2: to say cock, and I did a left turn, not 474 00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:49,080 Speaker 2: knowing what cock tastes like, and I went with sparagus. 475 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,040 Speaker 2: Will you say that? But yeah, well I do say that? 476 00:29:53,120 --> 00:29:55,120 Speaker 2: But okay, it was I mean, I'd had. 477 00:29:54,960 --> 00:29:57,320 Speaker 1: One bed and hang out with Alix, so. 478 00:30:00,040 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 2: What do I know? Sure? But I mean it was 479 00:30:04,280 --> 00:30:10,360 Speaker 2: one Saturday night in Brisbane everyone's so pedantic. No, I've 480 00:30:10,400 --> 00:30:13,200 Speaker 2: never been there. That's all right for those people who have, 481 00:30:13,360 --> 00:30:17,240 Speaker 2: well done you. But I see now you've fucking thrown me. 482 00:30:18,400 --> 00:30:20,080 Speaker 2: Do you know what? This is the only bit of 483 00:30:20,080 --> 00:30:24,080 Speaker 2: the podcast some people are going to like, it's my favorite, 484 00:30:25,080 --> 00:30:28,800 Speaker 2: all that wisdom and all that talk of psychology and philosophy. 485 00:30:28,800 --> 00:30:30,680 Speaker 2: They're going to go, oh, what about where you Nelly 486 00:30:30,760 --> 00:30:34,479 Speaker 2: said that? And that's what they'll talk about. That's the 487 00:30:34,520 --> 00:30:42,080 Speaker 2: fucking that's the low bar that we'veset. That's people. Just listen. 488 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,360 Speaker 2: People fast forward through the fucking commentary on the human 489 00:30:45,400 --> 00:30:51,080 Speaker 2: experience to get to the dick jokes. It's I don't 490 00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 2: know if to be proud or ashamed. I'm a bit 491 00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:56,600 Speaker 2: of both. I want to tap myself on the back 492 00:30:56,640 --> 00:30:59,200 Speaker 2: and punch myself in the face. I'm not sure. I'm 493 00:30:59,240 --> 00:31:02,040 Speaker 2: conflicted anyway. 494 00:31:04,320 --> 00:31:07,360 Speaker 3: Oh god, oh god, I don't know. I don't even 495 00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:10,400 Speaker 3: know what we're talking about. What were we talking about? 496 00:31:10,520 --> 00:31:13,200 Speaker 3: I'm totally lost. This is not a podcast, is a 497 00:31:13,280 --> 00:31:15,360 Speaker 3: fucking this is a recorded shambles. 498 00:31:15,480 --> 00:31:20,120 Speaker 2: This is what this is. I blame you. I blame 499 00:31:20,160 --> 00:31:24,320 Speaker 2: you for fucking derailing me. See way too much fun. 500 00:31:24,760 --> 00:31:25,680 Speaker 2: This is the problem. 501 00:31:25,880 --> 00:31:29,760 Speaker 1: You've got throne that I kind of believe that Queens 502 00:31:29,800 --> 00:31:31,440 Speaker 1: Lanchon Anigans might have happened. 503 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:37,760 Speaker 2: Well, he's very attractive. I will say that he's very handsome. 504 00:31:37,880 --> 00:31:46,080 Speaker 2: I didn't go unnoticed by men. No, there was no Shenanigan's. 505 00:31:46,120 --> 00:31:51,960 Speaker 2: I feel like I'm tarnishing his reputation. He is married 506 00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:57,720 Speaker 2: to somebody way more attractive than the host of this show. 507 00:31:58,840 --> 00:32:02,880 Speaker 2: And no, we just date tye food together and the 508 00:32:03,400 --> 00:32:10,400 Speaker 2: bonding ended there. You never know, never know many of 509 00:32:10,440 --> 00:32:13,680 Speaker 2: time stop it if I don't know, let's just end. 510 00:32:14,320 --> 00:32:19,800 Speaker 2: I feel like we started. We started strong and then 511 00:32:19,880 --> 00:32:23,920 Speaker 2: did like a pooh five meters before the finish line. Suck. 512 00:32:25,240 --> 00:32:33,400 Speaker 2: It's like I just shut my pants. Sorry everyone, Sorry 513 00:32:34,080 --> 00:32:36,760 Speaker 2: just a bit. This did a big virtual pooh just 514 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:43,840 Speaker 2: before the end of the show from laughing. Oh, well, anyway, 515 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,640 Speaker 2: you didn't shoot yourself. I did, all right, everyone. I 516 00:32:46,640 --> 00:32:49,440 Speaker 2: don't know what to make of this. If you never 517 00:32:49,480 --> 00:32:52,120 Speaker 2: come back, if you never tune in again, I did 518 00:32:52,120 --> 00:32:55,040 Speaker 2: not blame you. It's been a good run. It's been 519 00:32:55,080 --> 00:33:00,200 Speaker 2: a good run. May see you again or not. Thanks 520 00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:01,880 Speaker 2: to Thank you.