1 00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:14,120 Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to another episode of Mojo Monday. I'm 2 00:00:14,240 --> 00:00:18,320 Speaker 1: Carly Taylor, and if you're new to the Paul Tayler podcast, 3 00:00:18,880 --> 00:00:22,279 Speaker 1: you're probably wondering where Paul is. So he is taking 4 00:00:22,360 --> 00:00:25,040 Speaker 1: a break from Mojo Mondays. We were doing these together, 5 00:00:25,600 --> 00:00:29,479 Speaker 1: but he's currently doing his PhD. But of course he 6 00:00:29,640 --> 00:00:34,040 Speaker 1: is still around for his wisdom Wednesdays, and he has 7 00:00:34,280 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: a guest on Saturdays, so be sure to tune in 8 00:00:37,200 --> 00:00:40,639 Speaker 1: on those two days as well. But today we are 9 00:00:40,680 --> 00:00:45,080 Speaker 1: diving into a topic that is pretty relevant in our 10 00:00:45,159 --> 00:00:49,160 Speaker 1: fast paced world, and that is the importance of incorporating 11 00:00:49,320 --> 00:00:51,120 Speaker 1: stillness into our lives. 12 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:53,559 Speaker 2: So here's a question for you. 13 00:00:54,920 --> 00:00:58,040 Speaker 1: When was the last time in your waking hours that 14 00:00:58,120 --> 00:01:03,240 Speaker 1: you were truly still, so still, just for even a 15 00:01:03,320 --> 00:01:07,720 Speaker 1: few minutes or a moment without your phone or computer, 16 00:01:08,120 --> 00:01:13,520 Speaker 1: and you were just present. In today's world of busyness 17 00:01:13,640 --> 00:01:18,520 Speaker 1: and distraction, it's almost like we have been conditioned to 18 00:01:18,560 --> 00:01:25,080 Speaker 1: be constantly active, constantly doing stuff. And I've thought about 19 00:01:25,120 --> 00:01:28,600 Speaker 1: this comparison of when I was young. So I was 20 00:01:28,840 --> 00:01:31,679 Speaker 1: I was a teenager in the eighties and my parents 21 00:01:31,680 --> 00:01:35,120 Speaker 1: were busy, but it's not like the busyness of today. 22 00:01:35,640 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 2: I think there was a comfortable. 23 00:01:37,680 --> 00:01:42,480 Speaker 1: Level of technology, but it wasn't like that technology was 24 00:01:42,600 --> 00:01:47,000 Speaker 1: controlling us. So there was less technology and fewer distractions 25 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 1: and more physical connections with others. And I know that 26 00:01:51,280 --> 00:01:54,280 Speaker 1: it can be quite easy to be nostalgic about the 27 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:57,320 Speaker 1: past and just kind of remember the good bits, But 28 00:01:57,480 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: I do feel that there was more spa back then 29 00:02:01,280 --> 00:02:06,760 Speaker 1: for stillness that there is today now. Deliberate stillness can 30 00:02:06,880 --> 00:02:11,920 Speaker 1: feel unproductive, and it can even feel uncomfortable, and for many, 31 00:02:12,160 --> 00:02:16,240 Speaker 1: especially in the Western world, stillness doesn't really come naturally, 32 00:02:16,880 --> 00:02:22,360 Speaker 1: and finding time to practice stillness feels quite unnatural. And 33 00:02:22,400 --> 00:02:26,320 Speaker 1: that's until you actually start to feel the benefits, and 34 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:30,960 Speaker 1: then it does feel natural. And I think through consistent 35 00:02:31,160 --> 00:02:35,320 Speaker 1: practice we can actually start to crave it, not as 36 00:02:35,440 --> 00:02:39,920 Speaker 1: an escape, we're not escaping from anything, but incorporating it 37 00:02:39,960 --> 00:02:43,280 Speaker 1: as an integral part of our sort of personal growth. 38 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:47,240 Speaker 1: I am someone who's always found it easy to be 39 00:02:47,320 --> 00:02:52,839 Speaker 1: in stillness. Being in nature calms me, and I can 40 00:02:52,880 --> 00:02:56,679 Speaker 1: really crave it. I just love being in nature. And 41 00:02:56,800 --> 00:02:58,640 Speaker 1: if you've been listening for a while, you will know 42 00:02:58,800 --> 00:03:02,200 Speaker 1: that I journal, so I reflect my life and it 43 00:03:02,240 --> 00:03:05,239 Speaker 1: really helps me to set my intentions for the day. 44 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:10,040 Speaker 1: I enjoy being curious about others, and I can only 45 00:03:10,200 --> 00:03:14,320 Speaker 1: do this by putting away the distraction of my devices 46 00:03:14,400 --> 00:03:19,799 Speaker 1: and being intentionally present in the moment. And I actually 47 00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,040 Speaker 1: I used to think there was something wrong with me 48 00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: for finding peace in stillness, but now I really see 49 00:03:27,919 --> 00:03:32,359 Speaker 1: it as an essential aspect of my well being. So 50 00:03:32,760 --> 00:03:36,280 Speaker 1: Ryan Halliday, who I'm sure many of you have heard of, 51 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: wrote a book called Stillness is the Key. In this book, 52 00:03:41,280 --> 00:03:44,760 Speaker 1: Key explores how great people in history have embraced stillness 53 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: to achieve clarity and peace and greatness. Figures like Marcus Aurelius, 54 00:03:51,080 --> 00:03:55,800 Speaker 1: the Roman emperor and Stoic philosopher, who found time for meditation. 55 00:03:56,040 --> 00:04:00,720 Speaker 1: He wrote a book called Meditations, and he reflected on 56 00:04:00,800 --> 00:04:04,040 Speaker 1: his life on his relationships despite the fact that he 57 00:04:04,160 --> 00:04:09,720 Speaker 1: was in a really demanding role. Abraham Lincoln, who was 58 00:04:09,760 --> 00:04:14,080 Speaker 1: facing immense pressures during the Civil War, often sought solitude 59 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:18,919 Speaker 1: and quiet contemplation to make his most crucial decisions. And 60 00:04:18,960 --> 00:04:22,679 Speaker 1: there are many many other people great people in history 61 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:27,560 Speaker 1: that have used stillness to help them in their roles 62 00:04:27,600 --> 00:04:28,240 Speaker 1: in life. 63 00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,159 Speaker 2: You know, they. 64 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:33,080 Speaker 1: Understood the power of stillness and they used it to 65 00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:39,279 Speaker 1: guide their actions to help them make decisions and kind 66 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:43,839 Speaker 1: of guide their thinking. And Ryan Holiday he beautifully articulates 67 00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:48,760 Speaker 1: the power of stillness and he writes it's an achievable 68 00:04:48,839 --> 00:04:54,800 Speaker 1: path to enlightenment and excellence, greatness and happiness, performance as 69 00:04:54,839 --> 00:04:59,560 Speaker 1: well as presence for every kind of person. So stillness 70 00:04:59,680 --> 00:05:03,880 Speaker 1: is not not just about physical inactivity. It's a state 71 00:05:03,920 --> 00:05:07,640 Speaker 1: of mind that allows us to be fully present, to 72 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 1: connect with our inner sels, and to find I guess, 73 00:05:12,400 --> 00:05:16,720 Speaker 1: a sense of clarity amongst our busy lives and amongst 74 00:05:16,800 --> 00:05:21,119 Speaker 1: all the noise. So today I would like to share 75 00:05:21,160 --> 00:05:24,839 Speaker 1: with you five tips to bring more stillness into your life. 76 00:05:26,120 --> 00:05:30,119 Speaker 1: These practices they're quite simple, but they can be really 77 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:33,880 Speaker 1: effective and they can help you cultivate a sense of 78 00:05:33,960 --> 00:05:38,640 Speaker 1: peace and balance. Even when you feel like you are 79 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 1: in the busiest time or life is incomplete chaos, you 80 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:48,480 Speaker 1: can always find moments for stillness. So Tip one is 81 00:05:48,560 --> 00:05:52,440 Speaker 1: start your day in stillness. So one of the best 82 00:05:52,480 --> 00:05:56,080 Speaker 1: ways to incorporate stillness into your life is by starting 83 00:05:56,120 --> 00:05:59,480 Speaker 1: the day with stillness. So this could be in the 84 00:05:59,520 --> 00:06:02,680 Speaker 1: form of of meditation, even if it's just a few 85 00:06:02,720 --> 00:06:10,080 Speaker 1: minutes deep breathing, exercise, exercises, journaling, or simply sitting quietly 86 00:06:10,320 --> 00:06:14,080 Speaker 1: with your thoughts, make a cup of tea, and just sit. 87 00:06:13,960 --> 00:06:14,880 Speaker 2: For a few minutes. 88 00:06:15,760 --> 00:06:20,120 Speaker 1: Ryan Holiday suggests that if you want peace and serenity, 89 00:06:20,800 --> 00:06:25,080 Speaker 1: stop looking for it in external things and start looking inside. 90 00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:28,479 Speaker 1: And I really love that quote. So taking just a 91 00:06:28,520 --> 00:06:31,880 Speaker 1: few minutes each morning to sent to yourself can set 92 00:06:31,920 --> 00:06:34,560 Speaker 1: a calm and focus tone for the rest of the day. 93 00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:40,200 Speaker 1: And additionally, do this before inputs. And what I mean 94 00:06:40,279 --> 00:06:44,440 Speaker 1: by that is before text messages, social media, the news. 95 00:06:44,720 --> 00:06:48,919 Speaker 1: And I'll tell you why in a second. But my suggestion, 96 00:06:49,120 --> 00:06:53,000 Speaker 1: and if you have heard Paul talk, he really drums 97 00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:57,039 Speaker 1: this in, is to keep your mobile phone out of 98 00:06:57,080 --> 00:07:01,239 Speaker 1: the bedroom and invest in a ten dollars digital alarm clock. 99 00:07:01,440 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 1: That's what we have at home. We do not use 100 00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:10,080 Speaker 1: our mobiles as alarm clocks. And the reason why is 101 00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:13,559 Speaker 1: because neuroscience tells us that having your phone within reach, 102 00:07:13,840 --> 00:07:16,760 Speaker 1: even if it's on aeroplane mode, can lead to this 103 00:07:16,920 --> 00:07:20,760 Speaker 1: automatic connection with inputs, and it makes your brain alert 104 00:07:20,960 --> 00:07:21,680 Speaker 1: and active. 105 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:24,680 Speaker 2: And if you are reaching. 106 00:07:24,280 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 1: For your phone before your feet have even hit the floor, 107 00:07:28,840 --> 00:07:32,320 Speaker 1: it can increase your stress and anxiety levels right from 108 00:07:32,360 --> 00:07:36,120 Speaker 1: the start of the day. So whether it's checking emails, messages, 109 00:07:36,240 --> 00:07:39,920 Speaker 1: the news that can cause you to have a stress 110 00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: response before you've even left the room. And your kids 111 00:07:43,920 --> 00:07:47,440 Speaker 1: should not be starting the day on their phones. And 112 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:50,040 Speaker 1: I am going to go into a bit of a 113 00:07:50,080 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: passionate rant on this one. 114 00:07:53,280 --> 00:07:55,520 Speaker 2: I'll give it. I'll give a story. I'll tell your story. 115 00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,160 Speaker 1: The other day, my son Oscar, he had a friend 116 00:07:58,200 --> 00:08:00,640 Speaker 1: over to stay and we have this blank rule, no 117 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:06,160 Speaker 1: mobiles in the bedroom, so the mobiles were charging. And 118 00:08:06,200 --> 00:08:08,200 Speaker 1: then when they woke up in the morning, they came 119 00:08:08,280 --> 00:08:12,640 Speaker 1: upstairs and his friend checked his phone and he said, Wow, 120 00:08:12,760 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 1: I've got over six hundred messages. And I just was flabbergasted. 121 00:08:19,680 --> 00:08:22,720 Speaker 1: I thought this was crazy. And that is the way 122 00:08:22,840 --> 00:08:25,800 Speaker 1: many of our kids are starting their days. They're picking 123 00:08:25,880 --> 00:08:28,880 Speaker 1: up their phone and checking their messages before they've even 124 00:08:28,920 --> 00:08:32,360 Speaker 1: come out for breakfast. And the best way to manage 125 00:08:32,400 --> 00:08:36,360 Speaker 1: this is to lead by example. Get your phone out 126 00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:39,280 Speaker 1: of the room and make it a household blanket rule 127 00:08:39,520 --> 00:08:44,960 Speaker 1: for everybody. Because if you remove this immediate source of distraction, 128 00:08:45,840 --> 00:08:50,480 Speaker 1: you're allowing your mind to wake up more naturally and peacefully. 129 00:08:51,160 --> 00:08:54,960 Speaker 1: You're setting the stage for a calmer morning. You're bringing 130 00:08:55,160 --> 00:08:59,640 Speaker 1: stillness into the morning, and if you're not convinced, try 131 00:08:59,679 --> 00:09:03,120 Speaker 1: it for a week or two and see what difference 132 00:09:03,160 --> 00:09:07,480 Speaker 1: it does make. Okay, So Tip two we're still on 133 00:09:07,600 --> 00:09:11,160 Speaker 1: the technology for this one, and that is about creating 134 00:09:11,240 --> 00:09:15,880 Speaker 1: digital boundaries. So Cal Newport, who is the author of 135 00:09:15,920 --> 00:09:21,520 Speaker 1: Digital Minimalism, he recommends setting specific times to check emails 136 00:09:21,600 --> 00:09:26,400 Speaker 1: and social media rather than constantly being plugged in and 137 00:09:26,600 --> 00:09:31,400 Speaker 1: constantly having alerts. So by creating these digital boundaries, you 138 00:09:31,480 --> 00:09:35,560 Speaker 1: give yourself the space to be present and you engage 139 00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:42,120 Speaker 1: deeper and your activities become a lot more meaningful. And 140 00:09:42,120 --> 00:09:45,440 Speaker 1: then Tip three is getting out in nature, which is 141 00:09:45,559 --> 00:09:49,160 Speaker 1: one of my favorites. So spending time in nature is 142 00:09:49,280 --> 00:09:54,000 Speaker 1: so powerful. It's a way to achieve this feeling of stillness. 143 00:09:54,520 --> 00:09:57,520 Speaker 1: Nature has a calming effect on our minds and bodies. 144 00:09:58,000 --> 00:10:00,959 Speaker 1: And there's a quote by John Muir in every walk 145 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:05,800 Speaker 1: with nature one receives far more than he seeks. So 146 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:09,080 Speaker 1: whether it's a walk in the park, or a hike 147 00:10:09,200 --> 00:10:12,920 Speaker 1: in the bush, or simply just being in your garden, 148 00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:17,439 Speaker 1: getting out in nature allows you to disconnect from the 149 00:10:17,480 --> 00:10:22,760 Speaker 1: busyness of life and really reconnect with yourself. Tip four. 150 00:10:23,080 --> 00:10:28,080 Speaker 1: And this will not be a surprise. It's about cultivating gratitude. 151 00:10:28,200 --> 00:10:32,160 Speaker 1: Gratitude is a powerful practice that can help us achieve 152 00:10:32,200 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 1: stillness and taking time each day to reflect on what 153 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:40,880 Speaker 1: we're grateful for, we can shift our attention from what's 154 00:10:41,200 --> 00:10:46,880 Speaker 1: lacking to what's really abundant in our lives. The simple 155 00:10:47,080 --> 00:10:52,320 Speaker 1: act of appreciation can bring this sense of contentment and peace. 156 00:10:53,240 --> 00:10:58,480 Speaker 1: I have a client who every morning wakes up and 157 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:02,800 Speaker 1: says to her self, I am so grateful to be alive, 158 00:11:03,640 --> 00:11:08,680 Speaker 1: and what an amazing way to start the day. The 159 00:11:08,760 --> 00:11:13,920 Speaker 1: final tip, tip number five is practice mindful waiting. I 160 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,040 Speaker 1: heard this on a podcast the other day and I cannot, 161 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:20,120 Speaker 1: for the life of me remember what podcast it was 162 00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:22,720 Speaker 1: or who said it, but thank you to the person 163 00:11:23,040 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 1: who did say it, because I really love this advice. 164 00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,720 Speaker 1: So we all have times when we're just waiting. So 165 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:32,600 Speaker 1: it might be we're waiting for our coffee to be 166 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,559 Speaker 1: made in a cafe, maybe in a doctor's surgery. 167 00:11:36,080 --> 00:11:38,640 Speaker 2: And they're running late, which is the usual thing. 168 00:11:39,679 --> 00:11:42,520 Speaker 1: We're waiting for a meeting to start, or we wait 169 00:11:42,520 --> 00:11:47,120 Speaker 1: for the kettle to boil. So instead of that giving 170 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:50,080 Speaker 1: into that automatic urge to pick up your phone to 171 00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,800 Speaker 1: check social media or the news or emails or whatever. 172 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,640 Speaker 1: Just leave it in your pocket or your bag and 173 00:11:56,920 --> 00:12:02,440 Speaker 1: use these times to practice just being in stillness. And 174 00:12:02,480 --> 00:12:06,480 Speaker 1: a way to do this is to engage your senses. So, 175 00:12:06,600 --> 00:12:10,000 Speaker 1: for example, when you're waiting in a cafe for your latte, 176 00:12:10,880 --> 00:12:13,920 Speaker 1: keep your mobile phone in your bag or pocket, and 177 00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:17,880 Speaker 1: then notice what you can see. Just look around you. 178 00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:21,560 Speaker 1: What are the layers of sound that you can hear, 179 00:12:22,240 --> 00:12:25,240 Speaker 1: Are there any textures that you can feel or touch? 180 00:12:25,360 --> 00:12:29,480 Speaker 1: And what aroamas are in the air. These are perfect 181 00:12:29,600 --> 00:12:34,880 Speaker 1: opportunities to practice stillness and really bring yourself into the 182 00:12:34,920 --> 00:12:40,640 Speaker 1: present moment. If you incorporate even some of these tips 183 00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:44,120 Speaker 1: or all of them into your daily routine, it can 184 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:49,319 Speaker 1: really help you bring stillness into your life and find 185 00:12:50,080 --> 00:12:54,480 Speaker 1: a sense of balance amongst the busyness and the chaos 186 00:12:54,480 --> 00:12:59,080 Speaker 1: of life. So remember stillness. It's not about doing nothing, 187 00:12:59,800 --> 00:13:03,520 Speaker 1: about creating a bit of space for what really matters, 188 00:13:04,240 --> 00:13:09,040 Speaker 1: and I think that's what many of us need. So 189 00:13:09,360 --> 00:13:13,200 Speaker 1: thank you for joining me today. If you have any 190 00:13:13,280 --> 00:13:17,000 Speaker 1: questions or experiences you'd like to share, please go to 191 00:13:17,320 --> 00:13:21,480 Speaker 1: my website at Carlitaylorcoaching dot com dot au and fill 192 00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,680 Speaker 1: out the form. Even if you've got some ideas on 193 00:13:25,480 --> 00:13:27,480 Speaker 1: what you would like me to talk about. I would 194 00:13:27,520 --> 00:13:31,600 Speaker 1: love to hear from you, So until next Monday, take 195 00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,120 Speaker 1: a moment for stillness and stay mindful. I'll see you 196 00:13:35,160 --> 00:13:39,880 Speaker 1: next week.