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Speaker 1: Apologie production, She Rises, Twelve Days of Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Good morning and afternoon, Good evening, everybody. I can't believe

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Speaker 2: we're at day nine. Welcome to Twelve Days of Christmas

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Speaker 2: with ashing Tiana at She Rises. We are diving deep.

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Speaker 2: We're in silly, ridiculous outfits. If you can see us,

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Speaker 2: we've got huge Sanda hats on. But we're talking about

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Speaker 2: things that are very important, very serious, very deep. And

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Speaker 2: it's a chance for you to have your glove before

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Speaker 2: Christmas Day and really take some accountability as to how

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Speaker 2: you're showing up in life, what's happening in your life,

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Speaker 2: in your family, what you want your Christmas to look like,

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Speaker 2: and overall, just be your most authentic self ever before

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Speaker 2: you go into twenty twenty.

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Speaker 3: Six, Beautifully said.

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Speaker 2: Beautifully said.

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Speaker 3: Today's episode is called Trigger's Traditions and Transformation, Reinventing Christmas

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Speaker 3: on your Terms.

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Speaker 2: I absolutely love this because it really does get to

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Speaker 2: be exactly how you want it to be. And growing up,

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Speaker 2: I always was quite envious and jealous of my friends

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Speaker 2: that had these family traditions where they all won matching pajamas,

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Speaker 2: or they just had something they did on Christmas Eve.

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Speaker 2: Late when I looked at the Christmas light looking and

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Speaker 2: I said, when I have kids, I really want to

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Speaker 2: create some traditions that they remember, and they always like

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Speaker 2: every year that's what we do, and so we've got

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Speaker 2: a couple of ones. We always look at the Christmas lights.

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Speaker 2: It's just streak up the coast and it's just beautiful

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Speaker 2: to go look at those. Every year, Taj and I

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Speaker 2: go buy all the stuff to make Rocky Road. We

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Speaker 2: make two different types, and eastirs it all and melts alone.

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Speaker 2: It's just our fun little thing we do together. Tyler

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Speaker 2: will probably want to be involved this year. And then

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Speaker 2: we also get out a mattress and put in the

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Speaker 2: lound room and we all sleep over there on not

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Speaker 2: Christmas Eve because we want them in their bed so

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Speaker 2: Santa can come, right, but Christmas Eve eve the night before,

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Speaker 2: so we watched The Green and So Christmas movies and

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Speaker 2: we just lay on the bed together in the lound

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Speaker 2: room and have a camp out. Oh that's so fun,

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Speaker 2: so fun. And Taj just talks about it months leading up.

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Speaker 2: He's like, come, I do we get the mattress out

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Speaker 2: and that's just like a little thing that we do,

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Speaker 2: and much in pajamas.

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Speaker 3: That's cool memory.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's so beautiful. The matching pajamas are a little

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Speaker 2: bit cringe, but it's just fun. It's just cute.

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Speaker 3: I love the matching pajamas, so I can tell. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was obviously my idea.

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Speaker 2: So it's really empowering for me as a grown woman

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Speaker 2: now because I feel like that in a child, that

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Speaker 2: little girl and me who always wanted that, gets to

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Speaker 2: create that now with my own family, and I absolutely

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Speaker 2: love it. It's so fun. I just want to build

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Speaker 2: those memories where the kids look back and they then

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Speaker 2: carried on with their family as well, like we always

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Speaker 2: had matching pajamas and this is what we did, so

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Speaker 2: like we want to keep doing that.

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Speaker 3: Oh, I love it. I think like Christmas is such

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Speaker 3: a cool time. You know, whether you've had a good

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Speaker 3: or a bad experience, it's an opportunity for you to

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Speaker 3: change the way that things have always been, you know,

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Speaker 3: and like what you just did, Like you didn't have

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Speaker 3: the best experience growing up, a Christmas wasn't always like

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Speaker 3: the best time of year for you, but you've made

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Speaker 3: it your own. Like that's a beautiful part of Christmas

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Speaker 3: because these new traditions what you used to have it.

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Speaker 2: Ends with you.

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Speaker 3: Your new ones get to be about you and your

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Speaker 3: family and what you want to create for the kids.

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Speaker 3: And also, like what you said, like you're inner child

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Speaker 3: gets to come out too. It's to be about fun

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Speaker 3: and play and kids.

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Speaker 2: I love it.

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Speaker 3: I just even like as an adult, like I love it.

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Speaker 3: I think it's such a cool time of year. And granted,

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Speaker 3: don't get me wrong, like there have definitely been Christmases

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Speaker 3: and I don't know if any of you can relate

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Speaker 3: to this, I'm sure you will. Sometimes you're lonely in

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Speaker 3: life and it feels like heavy right, especially when Christmas

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Speaker 3: comes around, because it's in your face. You can't hide.

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Speaker 3: It's the time of year where everyone goes and guides

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Speaker 3: away it does airy thing with their family. And if

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Speaker 3: you aren't in that stage of your life and you're

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Speaker 3: overseas or you're by yourself, we don't have anybody around,

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Speaker 3: it's really confronting. Or maybe you're even somebody who's disconnected

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Speaker 3: from the people that are around you, so you're surrounded

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Speaker 3: by people, but you feel so alone.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's the worst feeling. It is the worst.

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Speaker 3: So it's like it doesn't matter what your situation is.

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Speaker 3: I think Christmas can be a really confronting time, but

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Speaker 3: it doesn't have to stay like that.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: I think we always get a choice in how we

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Speaker 3: reinvent the things that we go through. And like, the

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Speaker 3: biggest lesson I've learned in my life has been, if

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Speaker 3: I want to heal something, I allow either new people

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Speaker 3: in or new experiences in in its place to heal

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Speaker 3: the wound that existed.

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Speaker 2: Beautiful, And I think.

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Speaker 3: That kind of relates to Christmas. It's like, yeah, sure,

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Speaker 3: there have been times in my life where I've may

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Speaker 3: have been surrounded by people and felt super lonely, But

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Speaker 3: does that have to be the way that it goes

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Speaker 3: moving forward? What does that look like? That gets to

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Speaker 3: be like for me creating memories we chosen family. We

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Speaker 3: just spoke about this on a previous Twelve Days of

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Speaker 3: Christmas episode where we're going to combine our Christmas because

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Speaker 3: we want to spend time together, and like, you know,

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Speaker 3: it gets to be something beautiful we get to now

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Speaker 3: recreate as a tradition that I imagine will be something

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Speaker 3: we do long into the future.

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Speaker 2: It's so freaking cool, so beautiful. Yeah, another thing too,

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Speaker 2: Like growing up, I was always quite jealous of people

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Speaker 2: that have really big families, because I always wanted that.

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Speaker 2: My family felt so disjointed and we didn't get along

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Speaker 2: and it just wasn't a safe, nice place. So as

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Speaker 2: i've grown now, and I said this in a previous episode,

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Speaker 2: my house has been the house everyone comes to. I've

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Speaker 2: chosen my family, like I've chosen my friends and get

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Speaker 2: to come in and we get to celebrate and be together,

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Speaker 2: and you get to make it your own. Absolutely. I've

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Speaker 2: even got a girlfriend this year and she's like, oh

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Speaker 2: my gosh, like I've got no one here for Christmas

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Speaker 2: because her family's going away and they're in different states

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Speaker 2: and her mum's overseas, And I said, what are you

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Speaker 2: going to do?

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Speaker 3: Come over?

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Speaker 2: And she goes, I'm just going to bounce everywhere. I've

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Speaker 2: got your house and Dean's house, Tower's house, and she's

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Speaker 2: got like five differ people. I'm gonna go visit everyone

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Speaker 2: that's so get to like experience everyone's Christmas and everyone's joy,

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Speaker 2: and that seems like really fun. I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: that's cool.

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Speaker 3: I think it's such a beautiful thing as well, Like

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Speaker 3: if you don't have family accessible, or you're in different

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Speaker 3: states or even in different countries. How beautiful is it

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Speaker 3: that you get to lean on your chosen family.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's so special. No, and most people are very

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Speaker 2: welcomed in, Like we always just welcome anyone in. I

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Speaker 2: think people want it's like the more the merrier.

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Speaker 3: Yes, you know, definitely, It's like upper Christmas, isn't it.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, it's beautiful. Also if you find Christmas can be

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Speaker 2: a little bit overwhelming, I know, especially for introverts or

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Speaker 2: if you're not used to being around a lot of people,

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Speaker 2: it is quite a big energy out day. Just know

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Speaker 2: how you start the day really will have like a

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Speaker 2: role on effect. So for me Christmas it is a

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Speaker 2: lot it's a big energy out day. I still make

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Speaker 2: sure I go for my morning walks. I once who've

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Speaker 2: opened the presents, whatever, I just we all just go

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Speaker 2: grab the pram, take the dog, go up and down

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Speaker 2: the street, just to move our body for the day.

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Speaker 2: Or last year, I just like got out of matt

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Speaker 2: and did a yoga thing on the TV. I still

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Speaker 2: got movement in and still had time in the sunshine,

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Speaker 2: and just found little pockets of time to keep myself

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Speaker 2: nice and calm and regulated so I could still give

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Speaker 2: the energy out. I wanted. So just even though Christmas

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Speaker 2: is hectic, you can still start your day off on

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Speaker 2: the right football doing something for you. I really encourage that.

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Speaker 2: I do like that.

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Speaker 3: I actually realized that I go to the gym on

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Speaker 3: Christmas morning.

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Speaker 2: Oh they go.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, usually never many people in there, But for the

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Speaker 3: last like at least three Christmases, I've gone to the

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Speaker 3: gym on Christmas morning because it does like what you

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Speaker 3: just said, it it's a really beautiful way to start

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Speaker 3: the day. And also as well, I think for me

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Speaker 3: as well, even though the seasons are happening and all

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Speaker 3: these new things are happening, it still feels like a

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Speaker 3: part of my routine. Yeah, Kean, It's something that I'd

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Speaker 3: love to do. I don't go to the gym because

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Speaker 3: I hate it, and I.

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Speaker 2: Makes you feel good.

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Speaker 3: It makes me feel good. It gives me energy. So,

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Speaker 3: like what you said, I think that's a really beautiful

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Speaker 3: way to even start your own solo tradition. Yes, of

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Speaker 3: what you get to make Christmas like or the Holidays like,

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Speaker 3: and then have your own traditions with yourself and then

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Speaker 3: create new traditions with the people around you as well.

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Speaker 2: Like you get to make your own rules We don't

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Speaker 2: have to settle for this rule book, this invisible rule

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Speaker 2: book that someone else has made up along the way

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Speaker 2: of how Christmas Day has to be, how it has

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Speaker 2: to look, how it has to feel, who you have

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Speaker 2: to be with, Throw that rule book out, return to Cender.

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Speaker 3: Make your own. I would school as well. Even if

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Speaker 3: your family are maybe like not souper into the Christmas spirit,

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Speaker 3: but you are, play some damn Christmas Carol, Yes, make it.

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Speaker 3: Find some remixes that you are like that they might enjoy, Like,

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Speaker 3: be willing to think outside of the box when it

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Speaker 3: comes to this, because if you don't try the things

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Speaker 3: that you like, you're never gonna know what can become

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Speaker 3: a Christmas tradition. Like I've mentioned this previously as well,

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Speaker 3: Like I watched my dad, you know, and family members

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Speaker 3: play Christmas games, and now I'm like, I want to

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Speaker 3: do Christmas games every year? Yeah, you know, Like could

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Speaker 3: that be a tradition that I create with my family

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Speaker 3: to really get them out of their comfort zone and

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Speaker 3: instead of Christmas being like, oh, we just sit and

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Speaker 3: talk and eat food and cook and clean and that,

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Speaker 3: it's like no, let's play, Yeah, let's play have fun?

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Speaker 3: Like who said that Christmas Day has to be so serious,

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Speaker 3: so true.

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Speaker 2: I have to love that and bring your joy into

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Speaker 2: it more fun. Yeah, that's every day, not just Christmas Day? Right,

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Speaker 2: Why don't we do that every single day? Absolutely?

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Speaker 3: And I think with Christmas it's like it's a one

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Speaker 3: opportunity where you likely have all the people that you

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Speaker 3: love in one room.

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Speaker 2: Isn't it sad that it takes like a Christmas Day

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Speaker 2: or a funeral to bring everyone together?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, it is sad.

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Speaker 2: We like need to do this more often, bring the

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Speaker 2: people that you love around. But it's special that you've

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Speaker 2: got that un locked in day every single year. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: you do get to get it run together. You want

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Speaker 2: to make the most of.

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Speaker 3: It, gonna make it the best.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: There's something that my mum has always wanted to do

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Speaker 3: actually as a family, but we've never gotten around to doing.

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Speaker 3: And this is something we've spoken about. It's like she's

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Speaker 3: always wanted us to take us to like a soup

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Speaker 3: kitchen or like somewhere where we can go and like,

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Speaker 3: you know, feed people who are less for time, yeah,

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Speaker 3: or anyone who like doesn't have a home over Christmas

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Speaker 3: and needs a little bit extra support. I've always wanted

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Speaker 3: to go and do that. And actually now I both

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Speaker 3: recently had this conversation of how we would love to

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Speaker 3: go like visit children's hospitals over the Christmas period and

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Speaker 3: like hand out gifts presence.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, whether it's with us, so we do it ourselves,

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Speaker 2: because just as the build a bear for the Lunar Foundation,

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Speaker 2: the nic Pre Foundation, or yeah I did it about

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Speaker 2: ten years ago, just when I brought a bunch of

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Speaker 2: toys from like BW somewhere and gave them out at

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Speaker 2: the children's hospital dress up as fairies. We thought we

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Speaker 2: could dress up as else absolutely and then like to

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Speaker 2: volunteer at a soup kitchen or something would be so

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Speaker 2: cooln I'd love to take Targe as well. I remember

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Speaker 2: be saying that I think it's really important for our

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Speaker 2: younger generation to see that, you know how blessed you

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Speaker 2: are to have a roof over your head and food

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Speaker 2: on the table on Christmas Day, but every single day,

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Speaker 2: and you know, most people are just wanting to have

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Speaker 2: a conversation, to be seen and to have a full

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Speaker 2: belly and to feel warm and cozy. And it's so

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Speaker 2: nice that you can go and volunteer your time and

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Speaker 2: energy to give to those that don't have anyone or anything.

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, and I imagine like if I put myself in

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Speaker 3: their position, I would want to hope that there would

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Speaker 3: be people kind enough out there to like, yeah, enough

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Speaker 3: that I was in the position that I was in.

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Speaker 2: We need to look that in. Yeah, it's like Boxing day,

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Speaker 2: Christmas Day, Christmas Eve something or we go and volunteer

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Speaker 2: our time. It's still beautiful.

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Speaker 3: If anybody wants to come, let us know.

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Speaker 2: Yes, ALRIGHTI thanks for joining us, little short one. A

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Speaker 2: nice bite sized piece for you. But I hope you're

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Speaker 2: having an amazing day and you're enjoying this series. If

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Speaker 2: you've missed any, go back and listen to them. We've

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Speaker 2: got Yeah, this is our ninth one, so Day ten

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Speaker 2: is happening tomorrow. We'll see you then, Bye bye