Speaker 1: Good a Groovers. I'm going to talk about this idea
Speaker 1: of delaying gratification. What does that mean? Thanks for asking.
Speaker 1: That means when I'm in that moment of I just
Speaker 1: want to do that thing, to scratch that itch, to
Speaker 1: boost that little dopamine kind of spike in my brain,
Speaker 1: to make me feel instantly and momentarily better. When I
Speaker 1: have that feeling, I don't do it. I turn my back. Metaphorically,
Speaker 1: I say no, I still feel the same. I still
Speaker 1: feel compelled to have that bit of food, to drink
Speaker 1: that thing, to smoke that thing, to use that drug,
Speaker 1: to gamble on that horse, to do that thing that
Speaker 1: compels me, or that I feel compelled to do. But
Speaker 1: I don't do it, And you go, well, why does
Speaker 1: it matter?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: It matters because if we are always acting on our impulses,
Speaker 1: if we are always submitting to giving into that instant
Speaker 1: gratification compulsion, Honestly, life doesn't generally end up well. Life
Speaker 1: doesn't go great for us if we are always being
Speaker 1: held hostage by our impulses and urges. Now, that doesn't
Speaker 1: mean we're never going to give into an impulse or urge.
Speaker 1: There's never going to be a bit of instant gratification
Speaker 1: or a bit of bloody cheesecake or a bit of
Speaker 1: bloody glass of coke, or I don't know, I know
Speaker 1: what you think is but it's hard. It's hard. But
Speaker 1: I believe that experientially. I believe this through my own
Speaker 1: kind of journey and also working with others, observing others.
Speaker 1: I believe that our ability to be able to delay gratification,
Speaker 1: in other words, say no to that thing that's not
Speaker 1: going to do us any good over the long term,
Speaker 1: but it's going to make us feel bloody amazing in
Speaker 1: the moment. Being able to say no to that, and
Speaker 1: really say no to that, and keep saying no to
Speaker 1: that is where we start to overcome those destructive and
Speaker 1: compulsive and toxic habits, and where we start to build
Speaker 1: self awareness, and where we start to self regulate, where
Speaker 1: we start to create a new operating system where we're
Speaker 1: not constantly at the whim of our impulses. Years ago,
Speaker 1: I had a guy come to see me, and this
Speaker 1: is when I owned I owned Jim's. And we sat
Speaker 1: down and this guy had come from far and he
Speaker 1: had lots of weight to lose. He was very out
Speaker 1: of shape. We spent an hour and a half together,
Speaker 1: and in the hour and a half we sat and
Speaker 1: we talked, and we spoke about his background and his
Speaker 1: motives and his reasons and what he wanted to do
Speaker 1: be create, change all that stuff. Spoke about how he
Speaker 1: ate typically, spoke about his relationship with food, which was
Speaker 1: his biggest challenge. Spoke about, you know, his current status
Speaker 1: of health and weight and size and all of those things.
Speaker 1: Did a basic assessment, put him through a workout, set
Speaker 1: a program for him, and an hour and a half later,
Speaker 1: after some pretty what I thought was some pretty deep
Speaker 1: connection and honesty and a few tears and a bit
Speaker 1: of a man hug at the end, and a bit
Speaker 1: of a come on, tiger, you can do it, I
Speaker 1: sent him on his way. And I won't say where
Speaker 1: he lived in case someone figures out who it is.
Speaker 1: He won't, but he lived in the country. He'd come
Speaker 1: a long way to see me, and he was going
Speaker 1: to see me once a month and come down. And
Speaker 1: I was going to do the same thing. I was
Speaker 1: going to you know, basic assessment, chat, new program, a
Speaker 1: bit of a kick in the bum, bit of man love,
Speaker 1: you know, all that stuff, and we would see how
Speaker 1: he went. But I was kind of his coach, I guess,
Speaker 1: and if he needed to talk to me, he could
Speaker 1: ring me. Blah blah blah. This was the plan. This
Speaker 1: was the plan. So anyway, I sent him on his way,
Speaker 1: and about I don't know, ten minutes fifteen minutes later,
Speaker 1: I decided I was going to head up the road.
Speaker 1: Just right right, one hundred meters from where my gym
Speaker 1: was was another road that kind of led to a
Speaker 1: whole bunch of shops and restaurants and cafes and stuff. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I headed up that road on my motorbike, So on
Speaker 1: a motorbike, not in a car, got a helmet on,
Speaker 1: so no one knows who it is. So I'm riding
Speaker 1: and I pull up at a set of traffic lights,
Speaker 1: actually a pedestrian crossing, and just in front of me,
Speaker 1: to the right, just in front of the pedestrian crossing,
Speaker 1: kind of thirty meters away from me, is a bakery.
Speaker 1: And you know what I'm going to say, sitting out
Speaker 1: in the front of the bakery, as old mate who
Speaker 1: had just swore twenty minutes earlier, this was the beginning
Speaker 1: of the rest of his life, and he was going
Speaker 1: to turn everything round. And we had a food plan
Speaker 1: and the biggest challenge was food and self control. And
Speaker 1: he was like, I'm in the zone. I've never gone back.
Speaker 1: It's bloody amazing, and I'm so excited. Thank you, And
Speaker 1: like I said, tears and a bit of snart and
Speaker 1: a hug. And I was literally sitting there and I
Speaker 1: looked over and here's this is this bloke sitting at
Speaker 1: a I remember, a round table, like one of those
Speaker 1: round cheap tables outside the bakery. I think he had
Speaker 1: a chocolate big m As I looked at him, he
Speaker 1: was eating either a pie or a pasty, and he
Speaker 1: had a bunch of other things there. He had a
Speaker 1: bit of a banquet. Now this is twenty minutes, fifteen
Speaker 1: minutes after he left me, and it just amazed me
Speaker 1: that within twenty minutes that need for instant gratification, that
Speaker 1: despite you know, I was reasonably good at my job
Speaker 1: those days, I was you know, I don't know if
Speaker 1: I was the best, but I was pretty good. I
Speaker 1: was pretty good, pretty good train, a pretty good coach,
Speaker 1: pretty good at helping people like tap into that stuff. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it just it kind of underlined for me how bloody
Speaker 1: powerful those urges and those compulsions. It's all about dopamine,
Speaker 1: by the way, like that's that's the thing we want.
Speaker 1: That's it's the pleasure neuro transmitter that bloody lights our
Speaker 1: brain up and makes us feel fucking amazing. And whether
Speaker 1: or not that dopamine responses from booze or from cocaine,
Speaker 1: or from chocolate or from sitting at a round table
Speaker 1: outside a cafe stuffing pies and things in your face. Now,
Speaker 1: I'm not being nasty to him, it's just literally what happened,
Speaker 1: I mean, and so much so powerful is this that
Speaker 1: like advertisers and marketing people they they do. You know,
Speaker 1: here's an interesting thing I just thought of this. Did
Speaker 1: you know that quite a few big advertising and marketing
Speaker 1: firms now have neuroscientists working with them, not just marketing
Speaker 1: and branding people, but neuroscientists on the team who understand
Speaker 1: brain chemistry and the way that people's brain chemistry works
Speaker 1: around advertising, especially things like advertising food and booze and
Speaker 1: anything that can be somewhat addictive. And the reason that
Speaker 1: they have these people, and you can't blame them because
Speaker 1: their job is not to take care of the nation's health.
Speaker 1: Their job is to sell shit. The reason that they
Speaker 1: have these people is because they know how to manipulate
Speaker 1: an audience or a reader, or a viewer or a listener.
Speaker 1: Because they know how people respond. They know how addiction,
Speaker 1: be it a kind of addiction to chocolate or just
Speaker 1: some kind of weakness that people have, they know how
Speaker 1: to use that. They know how to manipulate that, they
Speaker 1: know how to they know how to tap in, tap
Speaker 1: into that that dopamine drive, that drive for dopamine. Yeah.
Speaker 2: So your challenge, my challenge, this has been big for
Speaker 2: me over the years, is in that moment, in that
Speaker 2: moment when you fit, when you know you don't need
Speaker 2: By the way, you never need a bag of chips.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying never eat one, but you don't need
Speaker 1: the bag of chips. You don't need the glass of coke,
Speaker 1: you don't need the cake. If you want to have
Speaker 1: some now and then consciously and you just do it,
Speaker 1: that's cool. But if you are one of those people,
Speaker 1: I would say half the people that listen to me
Speaker 1: still wants to be fiddle or leaner or lighter, or
Speaker 1: healthier or better performing, or you know, put simply in
Speaker 1: a better place with their body. And if you're one
Speaker 1: of those people, and if you're also one of the
Speaker 1: people who really struggles at times with food and self
Speaker 1: control and self regulation. Here's a really simple question to
Speaker 1: ask yourself before you shove something in your god, and
Speaker 1: that is do I want this or do I need it?
Speaker 1: The chances are you don't need it, you simply want it. Now,
Speaker 1: some people are maybe going, you're so fucking boring. How
Speaker 1: boring is life with that?
Speaker 2: Well?
Speaker 1: Is it? I think we tell ourselves stories about eating
Speaker 1: junk so that we can rationalize the eating of junk.
Speaker 1: I'm not saying never have a better junk food, never
Speaker 1: have pizza, knock yourselves out, do what you want. But
Speaker 1: what I am saying is, if you have had a history,
Speaker 1: or you have a history with a body dysmorphia or
Speaker 1: not loving how you look or feel or function, or
Speaker 1: struggling a around food, or having a like me, a
Speaker 1: complicated relationship with food, then being able to delay that gratification,
Speaker 1: put it off for a while, maybe a long while,
Speaker 1: or it could be something else. It could be spending,
Speaker 1: it could be but it's the challenge is to be
Speaker 1: in the grip of that impulse and to not do it.
Speaker 1: And if you can ride that wave, and you can
Speaker 1: come out the other side. You're a chance. All right,
Speaker 1: let's go to break because it's what we do, and
Speaker 1: I'll be back in a minute. Alrighty grievers. So when
Speaker 1: it comes to delaying gratification, your question desure is what
Speaker 1: is your achilles heel? What's the thing that you struggle
Speaker 1: most with? And see if you can apply some of
Speaker 1: this thinking to that. Just catch yourself, just be aware,
Speaker 1: just be conscious. Do I need to do this this,
Speaker 1: have this whatever it is, spend this or do I
Speaker 1: just want to That's like a self awareness question. That's
Speaker 1: like a consciousness question. That's like a opening up your
Speaker 1: mind in the moment question and stepping out of that
Speaker 1: kind of that that groundhog danis that unconscious kind of behavior.
Speaker 1: See you next time.