1 00:00:00,480 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Good a Groovers. I'm going to talk about this idea 2 00:00:03,360 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: of delaying gratification. What does that mean? Thanks for asking. 3 00:00:08,880 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: That means when I'm in that moment of I just 4 00:00:12,880 --> 00:00:17,040 Speaker 1: want to do that thing, to scratch that itch, to 5 00:00:17,320 --> 00:00:21,759 Speaker 1: boost that little dopamine kind of spike in my brain, 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: to make me feel instantly and momentarily better. When I 7 00:00:27,520 --> 00:00:34,640 Speaker 1: have that feeling, I don't do it. I turn my back. Metaphorically, 8 00:00:35,240 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: I say no, I still feel the same. I still 9 00:00:39,800 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: feel compelled to have that bit of food, to drink 10 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 1: that thing, to smoke that thing, to use that drug, 11 00:00:45,760 --> 00:00:49,479 Speaker 1: to gamble on that horse, to do that thing that 12 00:00:49,680 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: compels me, or that I feel compelled to do. But 13 00:00:52,200 --> 00:00:57,440 Speaker 1: I don't do it, And you go, well, why does 14 00:00:57,480 --> 00:01:02,040 Speaker 1: it matter? Well? It matters because if we are always 15 00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:06,880 Speaker 1: acting on our impulses, if we are always submitting to 16 00:01:07,160 --> 00:01:14,480 Speaker 1: giving into that instant gratification compulsion, Honestly, life doesn't generally 17 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:18,240 Speaker 1: end up well. Life doesn't go great for us if 18 00:01:18,280 --> 00:01:24,399 Speaker 1: we are always being held hostage by our impulses and urges. Now, 19 00:01:24,440 --> 00:01:26,399 Speaker 1: that doesn't mean we're never going to give into an 20 00:01:26,440 --> 00:01:29,039 Speaker 1: impulse or urge. There's never going to be a bit 21 00:01:29,080 --> 00:01:32,600 Speaker 1: of instant gratification or a bit of bloody cheesecake or 22 00:01:32,640 --> 00:01:34,920 Speaker 1: a bit of bloody glass of coke, or I don't know, 23 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: I know what you think is but it's hard. It's hard. 24 00:01:39,840 --> 00:01:45,280 Speaker 1: But I believe that experientially. I believe this through my 25 00:01:45,440 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: own kind of journey and also working with others, observing others. 26 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: I believe that our ability to be able to delay gratification, 27 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:57,960 Speaker 1: in other words, say no to that thing that's not 28 00:01:58,040 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: going to do us any good over the long term, 29 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: but it's going to make us feel bloody amazing in 30 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: the moment. Being able to say no to that, and 31 00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,240 Speaker 1: really say no to that, and keep saying no to 32 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: that is where we start to overcome those destructive and 33 00:02:11,680 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 1: compulsive and toxic habits, and where we start to build 34 00:02:16,600 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 1: self awareness, and where we start to self regulate, where 35 00:02:20,520 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: we start to create a new operating system where we're 36 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,720 Speaker 1: not constantly at the whim of our impulses. Years ago, 37 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: I had a guy come to see me, and this 38 00:02:34,240 --> 00:02:38,880 Speaker 1: is when I owned I owned Jim's. And we sat 39 00:02:38,919 --> 00:02:41,359 Speaker 1: down and this guy had come from far and he 40 00:02:42,480 --> 00:02:45,519 Speaker 1: had lots of weight to lose. He was very out 41 00:02:45,520 --> 00:02:49,480 Speaker 1: of shape. We spent an hour and a half together, 42 00:02:49,520 --> 00:02:51,000 Speaker 1: and in the hour and a half we sat and 43 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: we talked, and we spoke about his background and his 44 00:02:53,200 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 1: motives and his reasons and what he wanted to do 45 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,240 Speaker 1: be create, change all that stuff. Spoke about how he 46 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,560 Speaker 1: ate typically, spoke about his relationship with food, which was 47 00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:09,239 Speaker 1: his biggest challenge. Spoke about, you know, his current status 48 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: of health and weight and size and all of those things. 49 00:03:15,040 --> 00:03:18,840 Speaker 1: Did a basic assessment, put him through a workout, set 50 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:23,840 Speaker 1: a program for him, and an hour and a half later, 51 00:03:24,360 --> 00:03:27,840 Speaker 1: after some pretty what I thought was some pretty deep 52 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: connection and honesty and a few tears and a bit 53 00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,600 Speaker 1: of a man hug at the end, and a bit 54 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,640 Speaker 1: of a come on, tiger, you can do it, I 55 00:03:36,680 --> 00:03:39,839 Speaker 1: sent him on his way. And I won't say where 56 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: he lived in case someone figs out who it is. 57 00:03:41,720 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: He won't, but he lived in the country. He'd come 58 00:03:43,840 --> 00:03:45,760 Speaker 1: a long way to see me, and he was going 59 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,560 Speaker 1: to see me once a month and come down. And 60 00:03:49,640 --> 00:03:50,960 Speaker 1: I was going to do the same thing. I was 61 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,760 Speaker 1: going to you know, basic assessment, chat, new program, a 62 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,680 Speaker 1: bit of a kick in the bum, bit of man love, 63 00:03:57,000 --> 00:04:00,360 Speaker 1: you know, all that stuff, and we would see how 64 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,440 Speaker 1: he went. But I was kind of his coach, I guess, 65 00:04:03,480 --> 00:04:05,160 Speaker 1: and if he needed to talk to me, he could 66 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: ring me. Blah blah blah. This was the plan. This 67 00:04:07,360 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: was the plan. So anyway, I sent him on his way, 68 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,159 Speaker 1: and about I don't know, ten minutes fifteen minutes later, 69 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,839 Speaker 1: I decided I was going to head up the road. 70 00:04:19,920 --> 00:04:23,400 Speaker 1: Just right right, one hundred meters from where my gym 71 00:04:23,520 --> 00:04:28,280 Speaker 1: was was another road that kind of led to a 72 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,880 Speaker 1: whole bunch of shops and restaurants and cafes and stuff. Anyway, 73 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:33,960 Speaker 1: I headed up that road on my motorbike, So on 74 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:35,960 Speaker 1: a motorbike, not in a car, got a helmet on, 75 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,400 Speaker 1: so no one knows who it is. So I'm riding 76 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:41,600 Speaker 1: and I pull up at a set of traffic lights, 77 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,039 Speaker 1: actually a pedestrian crossing, and just in front of me, 78 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,120 Speaker 1: to the right, just in front of the pedestrian crossing, 79 00:04:48,760 --> 00:04:52,360 Speaker 1: kind of thirty meters away from me, is a bakery. 80 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,160 Speaker 1: And you know what I'm going to say. Sitting out 81 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,280 Speaker 1: in the front of the bakery, his old mate, who 82 00:04:58,920 --> 00:05:01,800 Speaker 1: had just swore twenty minutes earlier, this was the beginning 83 00:05:01,960 --> 00:05:04,320 Speaker 1: of the rest of his life, and he was going 84 00:05:04,360 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: to turn everything round. And we had a food plan 85 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: and the biggest challenge was food and self control. And 86 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: he was like, I'm in the zone. I'm never gone back. 87 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:15,000 Speaker 1: It's bloody amazing, and I'm so excited. Thank you, And 88 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: like I said, tears and a bit of snart and 89 00:05:16,680 --> 00:05:20,240 Speaker 1: a hug. And I was literally sitting there and I 90 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:25,680 Speaker 1: looked over and here's this is this bloke sitting at 91 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:28,640 Speaker 1: a I remember, a round table, like one of those 92 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: round cheap tables outside the bakery. I think he had 93 00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:35,560 Speaker 1: a chocolate big m As I looked at him, he 94 00:05:35,600 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 1: was eating either a pie or a pasty, and he 95 00:05:39,240 --> 00:05:40,800 Speaker 1: had a bunch of other things there. He had a 96 00:05:40,800 --> 00:05:43,800 Speaker 1: bit of a banquet. Now this is twenty minutes, fifteen 97 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:48,919 Speaker 1: minutes after he left me, and it just amazed me 98 00:05:49,279 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: that within twenty minutes that need for instant gratification, that 99 00:05:56,440 --> 00:05:59,839 Speaker 1: despite you know, I was reasonably good at my job 100 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:03,040 Speaker 1: in those days. You know, I don't know if I 101 00:06:03,080 --> 00:06:04,680 Speaker 1: was the best, but I was pretty good. I was 102 00:06:04,720 --> 00:06:08,400 Speaker 1: pretty good, pretty good trainer, pretty good coach, pretty good 103 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:12,600 Speaker 1: at helping people like tap into that stuff. Anyway, it 104 00:06:12,800 --> 00:06:18,880 Speaker 1: just it kind of underlined for me how bloody powerful 105 00:06:19,120 --> 00:06:24,280 Speaker 1: those urges and those compulsions It's all about dopamine, by 106 00:06:24,320 --> 00:06:26,800 Speaker 1: the way, Like that's that's the thing we want. That's 107 00:06:26,920 --> 00:06:30,200 Speaker 1: it's the pleasure neuro transmitter that bloody lights our brain 108 00:06:30,320 --> 00:06:34,240 Speaker 1: up and makes us feel fucking amazing. And whether or 109 00:06:34,279 --> 00:06:37,719 Speaker 1: not that dopamine responses from booze or from cocaine, or 110 00:06:37,760 --> 00:06:41,200 Speaker 1: from chocolate or from sitting at a round table outside 111 00:06:41,240 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: a cafe stuffing pies and things in your face. Now, 112 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:48,159 Speaker 1: I'm not being nasty to him, it's just literally what happened, 113 00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: I mean, and so much so powerful is this that 114 00:06:55,080 --> 00:07:01,560 Speaker 1: like advertisers and marketing people they they do. You know, 115 00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:03,720 Speaker 1: here's an interesting thing I just thought of this. Did 116 00:07:03,800 --> 00:07:07,560 Speaker 1: you know that quite a few big advertising and marketing 117 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:14,560 Speaker 1: firms now have neuroscientists working with them, not just marketing 118 00:07:14,600 --> 00:07:21,120 Speaker 1: and branding people, but neuroscientists on the team who understand 119 00:07:21,680 --> 00:07:25,720 Speaker 1: brain chemistry and the way that people's brain chemistry works 120 00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: around advertising, especially things like advertising food and booze and 121 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,840 Speaker 1: anything that can be somewhat addictive. And the reason that 122 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,080 Speaker 1: they have these people, and you can't blame them because 123 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: their job is not to take care of the nation's health. 124 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: Their job is to sell shit. The reason that they 125 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: have these people is because they know how to manipulate 126 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,040 Speaker 1: an audience or a reader, or a viewer or a listener, 127 00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:57,000 Speaker 1: because they know how people respond. They know how addiction, 128 00:07:57,200 --> 00:08:01,720 Speaker 1: be it a kind of addiction to chocolate or just 129 00:08:01,800 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: some kind of weakness that people have, they know how 130 00:08:05,840 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 1: to use that. They know how to manipulate that, they 131 00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:12,200 Speaker 1: know how to they know how to tap in, tap 132 00:08:12,320 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: into that that dopamine drive, that drive for dopamine. Yeah. 133 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:25,200 Speaker 1: So your challenge, my challenge, this has been big for 134 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 1: me over the years, is in that moment, in that 135 00:08:29,680 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 1: moment when you fit, when you know you don't need 136 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 1: By the way, you never need a bag of chips. 137 00:08:33,480 --> 00:08:35,760 Speaker 1: I'm not saying never eat one, but you don't need 138 00:08:35,840 --> 00:08:37,800 Speaker 1: the bag of chips. You don't need the glass of coke, 139 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,280 Speaker 1: you don't need the cake. If you want to have 140 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,960 Speaker 1: some now and then consciously and you just do it, 141 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 1: that's cool. But if you are one of those people, 142 00:08:46,520 --> 00:08:48,680 Speaker 1: I would say half the people that listen to me 143 00:08:49,880 --> 00:08:54,040 Speaker 1: still wants to be fiddle or leaner or lighter or 144 00:08:54,080 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: healthier or better performing, or you know, put simply in 145 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,160 Speaker 1: a better place with their body. And if you're one 146 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,480 Speaker 1: of those people, and if you're also one of the 147 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,360 Speaker 1: people who really struggles at times with food and self 148 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: control and self regulation. Here's a really simple question to 149 00:09:13,880 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: ask yourself before you shove something in your god, and 150 00:09:18,520 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: that is do I want this or do I need it? 151 00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: The chances are you don't need it, you simply want it. Now, 152 00:09:29,559 --> 00:09:33,040 Speaker 1: some people are maybe going, you're so fucking boring. How 153 00:09:33,080 --> 00:09:37,920 Speaker 1: boring is life with that? Well? Is it? I think 154 00:09:37,960 --> 00:09:42,000 Speaker 1: we tell ourselves stories about eating junk so that we 155 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,840 Speaker 1: can rationalize the eating of junk. I'm not saying never 156 00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:48,040 Speaker 1: have a better junk food, never have pizza. Knock yourselves out, 157 00:09:48,120 --> 00:09:50,400 Speaker 1: do what you want. But what I am saying is, 158 00:09:50,880 --> 00:09:53,240 Speaker 1: if you have had a history, or you have a 159 00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:56,880 Speaker 1: history with a body dysmorphia or not loving how you 160 00:09:56,960 --> 00:10:00,800 Speaker 1: look or feel or function, or struggling a food or 161 00:10:00,840 --> 00:10:06,280 Speaker 1: having a like me, a complicated relationship with food, then 162 00:10:06,520 --> 00:10:10,840 Speaker 1: being able to delay that gratification, put it off for 163 00:10:10,880 --> 00:10:16,040 Speaker 1: a while, maybe a long while, or it could be 164 00:10:16,080 --> 00:10:19,000 Speaker 1: something else. It could be spending, it could be but 165 00:10:19,080 --> 00:10:22,680 Speaker 1: it's the challenge is to be in the grip of 166 00:10:22,760 --> 00:10:25,880 Speaker 1: that impulse and to not do it. And if you 167 00:10:25,880 --> 00:10:27,920 Speaker 1: can ride that wave and you can come out the 168 00:10:27,960 --> 00:10:31,720 Speaker 1: other side. You're a chance. All right, let's go to 169 00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:34,560 Speaker 1: break because it's what we do and I'll be back 170 00:10:34,559 --> 00:10:39,600 Speaker 1: in a minute. Alrighty groovers. So when it comes to 171 00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 1: delaying gratification, your question desure is what is your achilles heel? 172 00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:51,240 Speaker 1: What's the thing that you struggle most with? And see 173 00:10:51,240 --> 00:10:54,040 Speaker 1: if you can apply some of this thinking to that. 174 00:10:54,240 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 1: Just catch yourself, just be aware, just be conscious. Do 175 00:10:58,600 --> 00:11:01,360 Speaker 1: I need to do this this, have this, whatever it is, 176 00:11:01,440 --> 00:11:05,160 Speaker 1: spend this or do I just want to That's like 177 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:10,160 Speaker 1: a self awareness question. That's like a consciousness question. That's 178 00:11:10,360 --> 00:11:15,400 Speaker 1: like a opening up your mind in the moment question 179 00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,760 Speaker 1: and stepping out of that kind of that that groundhog 180 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,880 Speaker 1: danis that unconscious kind of behavior. See you next time.