1 00:00:00,520 --> 00:00:03,200 Speaker 1: Good a Groovers. I'm going to talk about this idea 2 00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:08,000 Speaker 1: of delaying gratification. What does that mean? Thanks for asking. 3 00:00:08,920 --> 00:00:12,840 Speaker 1: That means when I'm in that moment of I just 4 00:00:12,920 --> 00:00:17,079 Speaker 1: want to do that thing, to scratch that itch, to 5 00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:21,800 Speaker 1: boost that little dopamine kind of spike in my brain, 6 00:00:22,120 --> 00:00:27,480 Speaker 1: to make me feel instantly and momentarily better. When I 7 00:00:27,560 --> 00:00:34,680 Speaker 1: have that feeling, I don't do it. I turn my back. Metaphorically, 8 00:00:35,280 --> 00:00:39,800 Speaker 1: I say no, I still feel the same. I still 9 00:00:39,840 --> 00:00:42,120 Speaker 1: feel compelled to have that bit of food, to drink 10 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:45,200 Speaker 1: that thing, to smoke that thing, to use that drug, 11 00:00:45,800 --> 00:00:49,519 Speaker 1: to gamble on that horse, to do that thing that 12 00:00:49,720 --> 00:00:52,120 Speaker 1: compels me, or that I feel compelled to do. But 13 00:00:52,240 --> 00:00:57,480 Speaker 1: I don't do it, And you go, well, why does 14 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:57,920 Speaker 1: it matter? 15 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:58,120 Speaker 2: Well? 16 00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:03,600 Speaker 1: It matters because if we are always acting on our impulses, 17 00:01:03,760 --> 00:01:08,880 Speaker 1: if we are always submitting to giving into that instant 18 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:16,759 Speaker 1: gratification compulsion, Honestly, life doesn't generally end up well. Life 19 00:01:16,760 --> 00:01:19,479 Speaker 1: doesn't go great for us if we are always being 20 00:01:19,520 --> 00:01:24,959 Speaker 1: held hostage by our impulses and urges. Now, that doesn't 21 00:01:25,000 --> 00:01:27,440 Speaker 1: mean we're never going to give into an impulse or urge. 22 00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:30,280 Speaker 1: There's never going to be a bit of instant gratification 23 00:01:30,520 --> 00:01:32,959 Speaker 1: or a bit of bloody cheesecake or a bit of 24 00:01:32,959 --> 00:01:35,400 Speaker 1: bloody glass of coke, or I don't know, I know 25 00:01:35,440 --> 00:01:39,959 Speaker 1: what you think is but it's hard. It's hard. But 26 00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: I believe that experientially. I believe this through my own 27 00:01:45,800 --> 00:01:49,600 Speaker 1: kind of journey and also working with others, observing others. 28 00:01:49,720 --> 00:01:53,480 Speaker 1: I believe that our ability to be able to delay gratification, 29 00:01:54,320 --> 00:01:58,040 Speaker 1: in other words, say no to that thing that's not 30 00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,520 Speaker 1: going to do us any good over the long term, 31 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:01,680 Speaker 1: but it's going to make us feel bloody amazing in 32 00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:05,760 Speaker 1: the moment. Being able to say no to that, and 33 00:02:05,880 --> 00:02:08,280 Speaker 1: really say no to that, and keep saying no to 34 00:02:08,320 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 1: that is where we start to overcome those destructive and 35 00:02:11,720 --> 00:02:16,560 Speaker 1: compulsive and toxic habits, and where we start to build 36 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:20,480 Speaker 1: self awareness, and where we start to self regulate, where 37 00:02:20,560 --> 00:02:24,720 Speaker 1: we start to create a new operating system where we're 38 00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 1: not constantly at the whim of our impulses. Years ago, 39 00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:34,200 Speaker 1: I had a guy come to see me, and this 40 00:02:34,280 --> 00:02:38,920 Speaker 1: is when I owned I owned Jim's. And we sat 41 00:02:38,960 --> 00:02:41,400 Speaker 1: down and this guy had come from far and he 42 00:02:42,520 --> 00:02:45,520 Speaker 1: had lots of weight to lose. He was very out 43 00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:49,520 Speaker 1: of shape. We spent an hour and a half together, 44 00:02:49,560 --> 00:02:51,040 Speaker 1: and in the hour and a half we sat and 45 00:02:51,040 --> 00:02:53,080 Speaker 1: we talked, and we spoke about his background and his 46 00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:56,240 Speaker 1: motives and his reasons and what he wanted to do 47 00:02:56,400 --> 00:03:00,280 Speaker 1: be create, change all that stuff. Spoke about how he 48 00:03:00,400 --> 00:03:03,600 Speaker 1: ate typically, spoke about his relationship with food, which was 49 00:03:03,639 --> 00:03:09,240 Speaker 1: his biggest challenge. Spoke about, you know, his current status 50 00:03:09,280 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: of health and weight and size and all of those things. 51 00:03:15,080 --> 00:03:18,880 Speaker 1: Did a basic assessment, put him through a workout, set 52 00:03:18,880 --> 00:03:23,880 Speaker 1: a program for him, and an hour and a half later, 53 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,880 Speaker 1: after some pretty what I thought was some pretty deep 54 00:03:27,880 --> 00:03:32,000 Speaker 1: connection and honesty and a few tears and a bit 55 00:03:32,040 --> 00:03:33,640 Speaker 1: of a man hug at the end, and a bit 56 00:03:33,639 --> 00:03:36,680 Speaker 1: of a come on, tiger, you can do it, I 57 00:03:36,720 --> 00:03:39,839 Speaker 1: sent him on his way. And I won't say where 58 00:03:39,840 --> 00:03:41,640 Speaker 1: he lived in case someone figures out who it is. 59 00:03:41,760 --> 00:03:43,840 Speaker 1: He won't, but he lived in the country. He'd come 60 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,800 Speaker 1: a long way to see me, and he was going 61 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:49,600 Speaker 1: to see me once a month and come down. And 62 00:03:49,680 --> 00:03:51,000 Speaker 1: I was going to do the same thing. I was 63 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,800 Speaker 1: going to you know, basic assessment, chat, new program, a 64 00:03:54,800 --> 00:03:56,720 Speaker 1: bit of a kick in the bum, bit of man love, 65 00:03:57,040 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 1: you know, all that stuff, and we would see how 66 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,480 Speaker 1: he went. But I was kind of his coach, I guess, 67 00:04:03,520 --> 00:04:05,200 Speaker 1: and if he needed to talk to me, he could 68 00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,200 Speaker 1: ring me. Blah blah blah. This was the plan. This 69 00:04:07,400 --> 00:04:11,040 Speaker 1: was the plan. So anyway, I sent him on his way, 70 00:04:11,840 --> 00:04:16,160 Speaker 1: and about I don't know, ten minutes fifteen minutes later, 71 00:04:16,480 --> 00:04:19,880 Speaker 1: I decided I was going to head up the road. 72 00:04:19,960 --> 00:04:23,440 Speaker 1: Just right right, one hundred meters from where my gym 73 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 1: was was another road that kind of led to a 74 00:04:28,320 --> 00:04:31,920 Speaker 1: whole bunch of shops and restaurants and cafes and stuff. Anyway, 75 00:04:31,920 --> 00:04:34,000 Speaker 1: I headed up that road on my motorbike, So on 76 00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,000 Speaker 1: a motorbike, not in a car, got a helmet on, 77 00:04:36,080 --> 00:04:38,440 Speaker 1: so no one knows who it is. So I'm riding 78 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:41,640 Speaker 1: and I pull up at a set of traffic lights, 79 00:04:41,640 --> 00:04:45,080 Speaker 1: actually a pedestrian crossing, and just in front of me, 80 00:04:45,200 --> 00:04:48,160 Speaker 1: to the right, just in front of the pedestrian crossing, 81 00:04:48,800 --> 00:04:52,400 Speaker 1: kind of thirty meters away from me, is a bakery. 82 00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:56,200 Speaker 1: And you know what I'm going to say, sitting out 83 00:04:56,200 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 1: in the front of the bakery, as old mate who 84 00:04:58,960 --> 00:05:01,799 Speaker 1: had just swore twenty minutes earlier, this was the beginning 85 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:04,360 Speaker 1: of the rest of his life, and he was going 86 00:05:04,400 --> 00:05:06,520 Speaker 1: to turn everything round. And we had a food plan 87 00:05:06,560 --> 00:05:09,680 Speaker 1: and the biggest challenge was food and self control. And 88 00:05:09,720 --> 00:05:11,600 Speaker 1: he was like, I'm in the zone. I've never gone back. 89 00:05:11,640 --> 00:05:15,040 Speaker 1: It's bloody amazing, and I'm so excited. Thank you, And 90 00:05:15,080 --> 00:05:16,680 Speaker 1: like I said, tears and a bit of snart and 91 00:05:16,720 --> 00:05:20,280 Speaker 1: a hug. And I was literally sitting there and I 92 00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:25,719 Speaker 1: looked over and here's this is this bloke sitting at 93 00:05:25,760 --> 00:05:28,680 Speaker 1: a I remember, a round table, like one of those 94 00:05:28,760 --> 00:05:33,000 Speaker 1: round cheap tables outside the bakery. I think he had 95 00:05:33,040 --> 00:05:35,599 Speaker 1: a chocolate big m As I looked at him, he 96 00:05:35,640 --> 00:05:39,240 Speaker 1: was eating either a pie or a pasty, and he 97 00:05:39,279 --> 00:05:40,840 Speaker 1: had a bunch of other things there. He had a 98 00:05:40,839 --> 00:05:43,839 Speaker 1: bit of a banquet. Now this is twenty minutes, fifteen 99 00:05:43,839 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: minutes after he left me, and it just amazed me 100 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:56,240 Speaker 1: that within twenty minutes that need for instant gratification, that 101 00:05:56,480 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 1: despite you know, I was reasonably good at my job 102 00:06:00,080 --> 00:06:02,920 Speaker 1: those days, I was you know, I don't know if 103 00:06:02,960 --> 00:06:04,599 Speaker 1: I was the best, but I was pretty good. I 104 00:06:04,640 --> 00:06:07,679 Speaker 1: was pretty good, pretty good train, a pretty good coach, 105 00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,479 Speaker 1: pretty good at helping people like tap into that stuff. Anyway, 106 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 1: it just it kind of underlined for me how bloody 107 00:06:17,320 --> 00:06:24,160 Speaker 1: powerful those urges and those compulsions. It's all about dopamine, 108 00:06:24,160 --> 00:06:26,560 Speaker 1: by the way, like that's that's the thing we want. 109 00:06:26,600 --> 00:06:30,000 Speaker 1: That's it's the pleasure neuro transmitter that bloody lights our 110 00:06:30,040 --> 00:06:34,120 Speaker 1: brain up and makes us feel fucking amazing. And whether 111 00:06:34,240 --> 00:06:37,560 Speaker 1: or not that dopamine responses from booze or from cocaine, 112 00:06:37,680 --> 00:06:40,719 Speaker 1: or from chocolate or from sitting at a round table 113 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:44,000 Speaker 1: outside a cafe stuffing pies and things in your face. Now, 114 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:48,200 Speaker 1: I'm not being nasty to him, it's just literally what happened, 115 00:06:49,279 --> 00:06:52,960 Speaker 1: I mean, and so much so powerful is this that 116 00:06:55,120 --> 00:07:01,600 Speaker 1: like advertisers and marketing people they they do. You know, 117 00:07:01,760 --> 00:07:03,800 Speaker 1: here's an interesting thing I just thought of this. Did 118 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:07,600 Speaker 1: you know that quite a few big advertising and marketing 119 00:07:07,640 --> 00:07:14,600 Speaker 1: firms now have neuroscientists working with them, not just marketing 120 00:07:14,640 --> 00:07:21,160 Speaker 1: and branding people, but neuroscientists on the team who understand 121 00:07:21,720 --> 00:07:25,760 Speaker 1: brain chemistry and the way that people's brain chemistry works 122 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:32,200 Speaker 1: around advertising, especially things like advertising food and booze and 123 00:07:32,320 --> 00:07:35,880 Speaker 1: anything that can be somewhat addictive. And the reason that 124 00:07:35,920 --> 00:07:38,120 Speaker 1: they have these people, and you can't blame them because 125 00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,960 Speaker 1: their job is not to take care of the nation's health. 126 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:43,960 Speaker 1: Their job is to sell shit. The reason that they 127 00:07:44,040 --> 00:07:47,920 Speaker 1: have these people is because they know how to manipulate 128 00:07:48,440 --> 00:07:52,080 Speaker 1: an audience or a reader, or a viewer or a listener. 129 00:07:52,520 --> 00:07:57,040 Speaker 1: Because they know how people respond. They know how addiction, 130 00:07:57,240 --> 00:08:01,760 Speaker 1: be it a kind of addiction to chocolate or just 131 00:08:01,840 --> 00:08:05,840 Speaker 1: some kind of weakness that people have, they know how 132 00:08:05,880 --> 00:08:08,760 Speaker 1: to use that. They know how to manipulate that, they 133 00:08:08,840 --> 00:08:12,240 Speaker 1: know how to they know how to tap in, tap 134 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:21,400 Speaker 1: into that that dopamine drive, that drive for dopamine. Yeah. 135 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:25,240 Speaker 2: So your challenge, my challenge, this has been big for 136 00:08:25,280 --> 00:08:29,640 Speaker 2: me over the years, is in that moment, in that 137 00:08:29,720 --> 00:08:31,880 Speaker 2: moment when you fit, when you know you don't need 138 00:08:32,080 --> 00:08:33,480 Speaker 2: By the way, you never need a bag of chips. 139 00:08:33,520 --> 00:08:35,800 Speaker 1: I'm not saying never eat one, but you don't need 140 00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,840 Speaker 1: the bag of chips. You don't need the glass of coke, 141 00:08:37,880 --> 00:08:40,320 Speaker 1: you don't need the cake. If you want to have 142 00:08:40,360 --> 00:08:42,960 Speaker 1: some now and then consciously and you just do it, 143 00:08:43,040 --> 00:08:45,680 Speaker 1: that's cool. But if you are one of those people, 144 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 1: I would say half the people that listen to me 145 00:08:49,920 --> 00:08:54,079 Speaker 1: still wants to be fiddle or leaner or lighter, or 146 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:59,400 Speaker 1: healthier or better performing, or you know, put simply in 147 00:08:59,440 --> 00:09:02,199 Speaker 1: a better place with their body. And if you're one 148 00:09:02,200 --> 00:09:04,520 Speaker 1: of those people, and if you're also one of the 149 00:09:04,559 --> 00:09:08,400 Speaker 1: people who really struggles at times with food and self 150 00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:13,720 Speaker 1: control and self regulation. Here's a really simple question to 151 00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:18,480 Speaker 1: ask yourself before you shove something in your god, and 152 00:09:18,559 --> 00:09:22,240 Speaker 1: that is do I want this or do I need it? 153 00:09:23,440 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 1: The chances are you don't need it, you simply want it. Now, 154 00:09:29,600 --> 00:09:33,080 Speaker 1: some people are maybe going, you're so fucking boring. How 155 00:09:33,120 --> 00:09:34,600 Speaker 1: boring is life with that? 156 00:09:35,080 --> 00:09:35,320 Speaker 2: Well? 157 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:40,120 Speaker 1: Is it? I think we tell ourselves stories about eating 158 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:43,920 Speaker 1: junk so that we can rationalize the eating of junk. 159 00:09:43,960 --> 00:09:46,040 Speaker 1: I'm not saying never have a better junk food, never 160 00:09:46,040 --> 00:09:49,200 Speaker 1: have pizza, knock yourselves out, do what you want. But 161 00:09:49,360 --> 00:09:52,680 Speaker 1: what I am saying is, if you have had a history, 162 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:56,000 Speaker 1: or you have a history with a body dysmorphia or 163 00:09:56,040 --> 00:09:59,320 Speaker 1: not loving how you look or feel or function, or 164 00:09:59,360 --> 00:10:02,840 Speaker 1: struggling a around food, or having a like me, a 165 00:10:03,040 --> 00:10:09,120 Speaker 1: complicated relationship with food, then being able to delay that gratification, 166 00:10:09,360 --> 00:10:15,040 Speaker 1: put it off for a while, maybe a long while, 167 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,800 Speaker 1: or it could be something else. It could be spending, 168 00:10:18,240 --> 00:10:21,160 Speaker 1: it could be but it's the challenge is to be 169 00:10:21,679 --> 00:10:25,439 Speaker 1: in the grip of that impulse and to not do it. 170 00:10:25,480 --> 00:10:27,480 Speaker 1: And if you can ride that wave, and you can 171 00:10:27,480 --> 00:10:31,240 Speaker 1: come out the other side. You're a chance. All right, 172 00:10:31,320 --> 00:10:34,160 Speaker 1: let's go to break because it's what we do, and 173 00:10:34,160 --> 00:10:39,120 Speaker 1: I'll be back in a minute. Alrighty grievers. So when 174 00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:44,720 Speaker 1: it comes to delaying gratification, your question desure is what 175 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:49,440 Speaker 1: is your achilles heel? What's the thing that you struggle 176 00:10:49,559 --> 00:10:52,400 Speaker 1: most with? And see if you can apply some of 177 00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:55,960 Speaker 1: this thinking to that. Just catch yourself, just be aware, 178 00:10:56,200 --> 00:11:00,240 Speaker 1: just be conscious. Do I need to do this this, 179 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:03,120 Speaker 1: have this whatever it is, spend this or do I 180 00:11:03,240 --> 00:11:07,560 Speaker 1: just want to That's like a self awareness question. That's 181 00:11:07,640 --> 00:11:12,439 Speaker 1: like a consciousness question. That's like a opening up your 182 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:17,640 Speaker 1: mind in the moment question and stepping out of that 183 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:23,760 Speaker 1: kind of that that groundhog danis that unconscious kind of behavior. 184 00:11:24,200 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 1: See you next time.