Speaker 1: My situationship ended up with me before a pilate star.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I was like so fucking sad. Hello, welcome
Speaker 1: back to Just for a Girl.
Speaker 2: It feels so good where back in my Women. We're
Speaker 2: actually recording in the Nova studios today, and every angle
Speaker 2: I look at, I'm seeing.
Speaker 1: Face like, yeah, I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm
Speaker 1: I'm loving it.
Speaker 2: I don't love it. It's kind of wigging me out.
Speaker 1: I like the photo of myself, that's maybe my if
Speaker 1: I hated the photo.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't love the photo of myself. Actually, fun
Speaker 2: fact Easy he's like Easy, he's pickier than me at photos,
Speaker 2: and Easy didn't like any of any other photo but
Speaker 2: that one, so I just had to bite my tongue.
Speaker 1: I don't like, I've got a funny, funny thing about
Speaker 1: the angles of my face, Like I look completely different
Speaker 1: from both sides of my face, so we need mine.
Speaker 1: That was like bang on the center from the right side.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't love my set face in that one,
Speaker 2: but like you can't really see it.
Speaker 1: Make up looks, didn't make up ellie, yeah looks.
Speaker 2: But we're back in Melbourne and I cannot tell you, guys,
Speaker 2: how good it feels to be home, not in like
Speaker 2: a oh my god, you fucking prove it a little
Speaker 2: piece of shit, but like it's just like we'd been
Speaker 2: traveling so much and it was like good to finally
Speaker 2: come home. A lot unraveled when we're in Bali and
Speaker 2: I was like, I just need me home, I need
Speaker 2: my car, I need my friends, and I feel.
Speaker 1: Like the weather, like the vibes are so yeah in
Speaker 1: Melbourn when the weather gets warm with with that like
Speaker 1: first sort of couple of days.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And we came back like just for the long weekend,
Speaker 2: like just in time for the long we can The
Speaker 2: weather was good Friday Saturday, like everyone was out, Melbourne
Speaker 2: was bustling, like we had the best time on Saturday's cuts.
Speaker 1: I mean, your family. I'm just I'm really grateful that
Speaker 1: I get the opportunity to be away, but I'm so
Speaker 1: fucking happy to be home.
Speaker 2: It makes you appreciate homes and like that in my own.
Speaker 1: Space, love you guys. We didn't have one single argument
Speaker 1: that whole trip.
Speaker 2: We're like absolutely right now. Our relationship is.
Speaker 1: All Like all my friends were our grand final day
Speaker 1: and I was like they're like, oh my god, did
Speaker 1: I go with that. I'm like, we didn't fight once, guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And then they always makes it sound like we're
Speaker 2: not actually real friends.
Speaker 1: I was just so they just want to make sure
Speaker 1: we like, you know, you'll fight with any friend really
Speaker 1: if you go on a holiday together occasionally you'll have
Speaker 1: like a big girl too. So they just wanted to know, like,
Speaker 1: how did you guys go? And I'm like, oh, like
Speaker 1: we went amazing, Like we did not argue ones and
Speaker 1: the whole bloody table was like yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Because also like we're kind of teamed up because like
Speaker 2: we needed to get out of a few things. And
Speaker 2: I was like, easy, you're fucking helping me.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I was her.
Speaker 2: I was the what's it called the excuse?
Speaker 1: Well, yeah, but there's a word. I'm always looking for
Speaker 1: words that I never actually they are. But yeah, Sam
Speaker 1: used me as her out for a lot of things
Speaker 1: in that last.
Speaker 2: Oh guys, I just it's too fresh that it's like
Speaker 2: it's way too fresh that it's kind of like I
Speaker 2: want to respect people's faces, but like things happen way
Speaker 2: too quickly, and then I like had time to see
Speaker 2: it reflected. I was like, what the fuck am I doing?
Speaker 2: Kind of thing I need to get home. I need
Speaker 2: to be around my people. So like all that Bali
Speaker 2: stuff of me going back to bat it's just not happening.
Speaker 2: Let's just like put it, yeah, put it right.
Speaker 1: That fun chapter has come to an end. Kind of
Speaker 1: like one of those I'm trying to pick my words,
Speaker 1: very yeah reality kind of hit. I was living in
Speaker 1: La La Land, she was, and I was well aware
Speaker 1: that she was living in La La Land.
Speaker 2: And then once all my friends and everything came over,
Speaker 2: I was like, fuck, La La Land's not maintainable.
Speaker 1: It's my land. That's a good way to put the situation.
Speaker 2: So I back home, back around my back on, back home.
Speaker 2: But on Saturday, we had a really good day together.
Speaker 1: I had a lot of fun.
Speaker 2: I had so much fun. It was a long day easy.
Speaker 2: I started drinking at ten thirty in the morning.
Speaker 1: We have mimosas to start guys.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we warmed up. Yeah, but we warmed up, and
Speaker 2: then like by six I was like, fuck, oh my god,
Speaker 2: it's still only six o'clock. And then it was still
Speaker 2: a long night from there.
Speaker 1: It was a long night from them, but it was
Speaker 1: a fun night all the same. I actually had it
Speaker 1: like there's yeah, I was tired and exhausted because you're
Speaker 1: being out and drinking that long. Obviously, it was grand
Speaker 1: fine all day. Yeah it's the day we're referring to. Yeah,
Speaker 1: but I had fun. Like I was demating the next
Speaker 1: morning because I was like, I had a really good
Speaker 1: day though.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we had had a really good day. It was
Speaker 2: so much fun. We're around such good vibes, great people.
Speaker 2: And then because you start so early, you kind of
Speaker 2: wrap up a bit earlier when you're doing drink when
Speaker 2: you're day drinking. So I was home by like twelve thirty,
Speaker 2: and like, I still managed to have a really good Sunday.
Speaker 2: Productive Sunday went to the gym, even though I watched
Speaker 2: the gym guys and I literally could taste it to
Speaker 2: KILLI in the back of my throat. It was actually foul.
Speaker 1: Like I was like when people say you're sweating out alcohol,
Speaker 1: you actually like when you have actually are sweating out
Speaker 1: the alcohol.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And I was like really pushing myself through, but
Speaker 2: I needed to go just like you would.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was coming out and I stayed up a
Speaker 1: little bit later than that. My favorite Sunday is a
Speaker 1: day anyway, So I just made some pass to hung
Speaker 1: out with my cat watch. I started watching Sopranos. You
Speaker 1: know that is It's obviously it's incredibly well known, very
Speaker 1: highly rated. It's about like the mafia and the mob
Speaker 1: in America and stuff. But it's like a six seasons
Speaker 1: not real, but it's on binge. I don't it's not real,
Speaker 1: but it's like based loosely based off like some of
Speaker 1: the actual sort of mob heads in America. And it's
Speaker 1: just like it's one of those ones that has like
Speaker 1: rotten tomatoes ninety five. Soer like it's going to be
Speaker 1: a good it's gonna be good. Yeah, So loving it
Speaker 1: so far.
Speaker 2: Yeah, But like I didn't really have any demons yesterday.
Speaker 2: I had a good day. It was nice to regnite
Speaker 2: with my housemates, chilling, living, living. But I wish I
Speaker 2: could tell you guys so much about I can't.
Speaker 1: On another note, I was talking to same about this
Speaker 1: in the bathroom just earlier. But there Hurricane Helene.
Speaker 2: Have you heard about that play? I saw Hannah's TikTok
Speaker 2: because she's in Florida at the Hannah Oval. She's there, really,
Speaker 2: she's at there at the moment with her boyfriend. I
Speaker 2: don't know if I'm airing out a laun.
Speaker 1: I think he plays an NFL. NFL she herself an
Speaker 1: NFL player.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she's over there with him at the moment. And
Speaker 2: there was like a video of them picking up crumble cookies.
Speaker 2: It was literally like they were going to die in
Speaker 2: the car.
Speaker 1: No, it's like this huge, huge hurricane, probably worse than
Speaker 1: what they've had in quite a while. But the problem
Speaker 1: is more like the storm surge that comes like following
Speaker 1: the hurricane, like as in all the water from the
Speaker 1: ocean and stuff due to pressures and winds get pushed
Speaker 1: onto land. So people have got like six feet of
Speaker 1: water outside their windows and stuff. And everyone was obviously
Speaker 1: being told to evacuate because six feet of water. Like
Speaker 1: people are there are actually like the stuff. It's really
Speaker 1: really bad. But a lot of people are in the
Speaker 1: evacuation zone. They're like, nah, let's see how we go.
Speaker 1: It's like, why why risk it? Do you know what
Speaker 1: I mean? So I spent maybe three hours he talks
Speaker 1: about it yesterday. So sending love and prayers to everyone
Speaker 1: in Florida. Ah, it's absolutely terrifying because it's like a
Speaker 1: tsunami mixed with a bloody tornado, like it's just like, honestly.
Speaker 2: Shit, that's what I don't know. I don't think I would.
Speaker 2: I hate to be hurricane. I would freak the funk out.
Speaker 2: I don't like storms really actually, that's like kind of
Speaker 2: one of my biggest bars.
Speaker 1: Well, what I also didn't realize is the hurricane water
Speaker 1: up because obviously a lot of water gets into the house.
Speaker 1: It usually that covers a lot of the bottom layers
Speaker 1: of levels of the houses. But if anything touches that water,
Speaker 1: you have to chuck it out because the water is
Speaker 1: filled with disease bacteria. Who it goes over the graveyards
Speaker 1: like you've got so all of that water coming into
Speaker 1: your house is like so highly just infected with shit.
Speaker 1: So it's like you can't disinfect things. That's gonna stick.
Speaker 1: So if you just have to chuck out everything that
Speaker 1: touches and try not to walk like barefoot or shower
Speaker 1: like immediately, like it's crazy. So yeah, fuck global warming, brother,
Speaker 1: I'm sorry.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, anyway from that, it's time for question of
Speaker 2: the week. All right, is he if I went on
Speaker 2: a first day and you had to give the guy
Speaker 2: a warning about me, what would you warn them about I?
Speaker 1: No matter how much you think you're right, you won't
Speaker 1: be anymore. Like you're so stubborn. I think that's the
Speaker 1: one thing. And it's like, I'm just gonna have to
Speaker 1: tell this guy except defeat, you know, save yourself. Just
Speaker 1: accept defeat, you know, don't about the little things like
Speaker 1: it's not worth it. Yeah, and you want the date
Speaker 1: to go well, so you just accept defeat.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: And if she goes, oh, it tastes like this, and
Speaker 1: he's like, no, it tastes like this.
Speaker 2: No, but what she thinks, what she thinks, like mine
Speaker 2: would be for you is prepared to be interrupted.
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I love you might have been one of like your
Speaker 2: worst traits is that you interrupt people. I do like
Speaker 2: if you guys have noticed on any of like some
Speaker 2: of our ads and stuff and work that we do
Speaker 2: together is he is a big talk of because.
Speaker 1: Hey, you lost your voice in that feel video.
Speaker 2: No, the other Setable video. You literally talked the whole time.
Speaker 1: My brain runs in overdrive and it is a very
Speaker 1: bad trade of mine that I need to work on.
Speaker 1: I'm aware I do it sometimes, but sometimes it just
Speaker 1: gets really bad and I will work on it.
Speaker 2: Hey, self awareness. So like I'm stubborn. I'm probably right,
Speaker 2: and even if I will not, That's the thing. A
Speaker 2: lot of the time, I am not with me. When
Speaker 2: have you ever been wrong? When have I ever been wrong?
Speaker 1: With you? Always right? And so am I.
Speaker 2: You're literally just doing exactly what you say that I do.
Speaker 1: So stubbornness, And yeah, I need to learn to.
Speaker 2: Listen. Listening and that Another thing I would be aware
Speaker 2: of is that you always I'm like prepared to just
Speaker 2: have a teeth running.
Speaker 1: Okay, so I do this mm hmm when I've when
Speaker 1: I'm when I'm finished eating, like, yeah, I'll like reset
Speaker 1: a draw because I've got to really like, I hold
Speaker 1: a lot of tension in my door, and I hold
Speaker 1: it clinched a lot. So I've got some funny thing
Speaker 1: that go on with God. But I think the one
Speaker 1: thing that Sam notices that a lot of other people
Speaker 1: like probably don't pick up on unless they know about it,
Speaker 1: is that I together and she.
Speaker 2: Runs her teeth on a fine thing. Sorry, all right,
Speaker 2: go in.
Speaker 1: Let's go all right. So this week, guys, we're going
Speaker 1: to be doing some dilemmas. My favorite thing ever is
Speaker 1: that even when we don't ask for the dilemmas, we
Speaker 1: still seem to get inundated with them, which means we
Speaker 1: get to do these episodes whenever we want to. I
Speaker 1: love that you guys just keep sanding them, just always
Speaker 1: keep sending them. We will always get around to it,
Speaker 1: and we're gonna do a little dilemma episode this week.
Speaker 1: Help you out with some of life's bigger problems, you know.
Speaker 2: All right, let's get straight into two days episode. Hey, girls,
Speaker 2: love the podcast, Thank you so much. This dating dilemma
Speaker 2: is actually a good one for my guy mates. He's
Speaker 2: struggling to find genuine people on dating apps. No one
Speaker 2: ever seems to be interested once he gets to the
Speaker 2: point of asking them out. Me and my partner always
Speaker 2: try to get people to push him out there and
Speaker 2: keep being confident, but he finds a lot of girls
Speaker 2: at the moment aren't looking for the same thing or
Speaker 2: anything serious, and he's dead at the end of it.
Speaker 2: Do we have any advice for the guys and the
Speaker 2: dating apps, because I feel like we are really easy
Speaker 2: to complain that there's no good men out there, and
Speaker 2: there's like no men, no men, no men. But also
Speaker 2: sometimes girls can be the problem.
Speaker 1: And like, look, there is a lot of good guys
Speaker 1: out there. I would say dating apps like Hinge are
Speaker 1: good because they now do have that opportunity where you
Speaker 1: can say what type of relationship you're looking for, And
Speaker 1: I do think that is helpful for someone me who
Speaker 1: is saying for a long term relationship. By seeing on
Speaker 1: someone's profile it says they're looking for short term, I'll
Speaker 1: usually skip straight over it. Yeah, So be conscious of
Speaker 1: things like that.
Speaker 2: I think another thing you should be conscious about is
Speaker 2: also not talking to them for too long, Like you
Speaker 2: can really grow, like, drag out a conversation and if
Speaker 2: you're interested in the girl, find out if she wants
Speaker 2: to grab a drink that week, and that's when you
Speaker 2: know that if she's interested in or not. Don't drag
Speaker 2: out conversations for so long. If you want to see
Speaker 2: her and you want to meet up with her, hit
Speaker 2: it in like the first few couple messages, absolutely, because
Speaker 2: then they're like, that's how you know if they're going
Speaker 2: to be genuine or not, instead of like stringing it
Speaker 2: out for two weeks and then having the courage to
Speaker 2: ask them out for a drink, which.
Speaker 1: Is too long. If it is not asked me out
Speaker 1: for drinks, I'd say within the first like day or
Speaker 1: two of us, say, matching on a dating app, It's
Speaker 1: like I want to learn things about you in person,
Speaker 1: you know, and I'm sure they feel the exact same.
Speaker 1: So it's like, hey, matched, Okay, cool, both mutually interested?
Speaker 1: What are you doing this weekend? Let's grab a drink here? Done?
Speaker 1: Figure it out in person?
Speaker 2: Yeah, moving it on.
Speaker 1: It gets that weird space of do they want to
Speaker 1: go out with me? Then maybe why haven't they asked?
Speaker 1: Like then they just get it.
Speaker 2: Replies become less and then you've just like wasted your time.
Speaker 1: You've matched for a reason, they've responded for a reason.
Speaker 1: Organize a date straight out the gate.
Speaker 2: Like my housemate, for example, he she matched with a
Speaker 2: guy on Hindred. Two days later I dropped her off
Speaker 2: at a date. Yeah, Like that's ideal, That's how it
Speaker 2: should be. Yeah.
Speaker 1: Position, And then it's like you're not learning all those
Speaker 1: little things like where do you work? What's you found?
Speaker 1: Like la la, It's like it gives you more conversation
Speaker 1: I find to talk about on that first date, therefore
Speaker 1: making you a little bit less nervous. You've just got
Speaker 1: a lot more topics to cover. And I think it's
Speaker 1: way better that way, So I'd say that's the biggest,
Speaker 1: biggest piece of advice we can give you. Dilemma number two.
Speaker 1: I'm twenty years old and I've never had any romantic
Speaker 1: interaction that slashed attention from boys. I'm not even kidding.
Speaker 1: I've never had a boy message me, never been asked out,
Speaker 1: never been complimented by a guy. Stop, this is kind
Speaker 1: of move.
Speaker 2: I know.
Speaker 1: We'll help you.
Speaker 2: We'll fix it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, never have my first kiss, never been on a date,
Speaker 1: nothing picture eight year old experience. Mine is probably less anyway.
Speaker 1: Although high school, I just thought this was normal and
Speaker 1: I didn't notice all the girls around me getting attention
Speaker 1: because it wasn't happening for me. I never was phased
Speaker 1: by this and genuinely just thought it'll happen when it happens.
Speaker 1: I'm still young, but it didn't let it get to me.
Speaker 1: And now I'm twenty years old. Almost everyone has had
Speaker 1: some experience, and I don't know how to find someone.
Speaker 1: I've tried putting myself out there, but it's like I'm
Speaker 1: invisible and no one seems to notice me.
Speaker 2: What do I do? Okay, so easy said this before,
Speaker 2: and like I've also noticed this on the weekend with
Speaker 2: easy and Easy always says like, oh no, like, guys
Speaker 2: don't really aren't attracted to me, and guys is like,
Speaker 2: you may not recognize the type of people that are
Speaker 2: attracted to you because you don't necessarily know what to
Speaker 2: look for. So I'm not saying that there's no one
Speaker 2: in this whole wide world, which I definitely think that
Speaker 2: you're kind of thinking at the moment. No guys ever
Speaker 2: thought I'm pretty, No guys ever complimented me, no guys
Speaker 2: ever wanted me, Like there's this guy on the fucking
Speaker 2: weekend that was literally obsessed with easy and easy did
Speaker 2: not pick up on it once, And I was like,
Speaker 2: this fucking bitch, this literally fucking idiot. I'll tell you later.
Speaker 2: But like you, like, girls don't really look for it,
Speaker 2: and I just think you need to like relinquish control
Speaker 2: and like just be open to it. I think now
Speaker 2: you're kind of in the mindset and then the headspaceally
Speaker 2: like I'm twenty, this hasn't happened, and you're like build
Speaker 2: up a wall and like you've probably become a bit
Speaker 2: more resistant to it, and now you don't recognize it
Speaker 2: because you've never had it. I think you just need
Speaker 2: to really quish control and allow people to come into
Speaker 2: your life. Maybe downloaded dating app, get some cute pro
Speaker 2: photos and just like seek a little bit of validation
Speaker 2: from men and just like warm up into it. But
Speaker 2: there's no textbook guide into when you should have things
Speaker 2: done by a certain age.
Speaker 1: Yeah, my like, sorry to my brother, but he's twenty
Speaker 1: one and he's exactly the same.
Speaker 2: You should set them up.
Speaker 1: Maybe we should set you, you know, And I think
Speaker 1: it stresses me out more than it stresses him out,
Speaker 1: because I want him to be happy, but happiness doesn't
Speaker 1: come from that. Firstly. Secondly, I think if you're not
Speaker 1: on dating apps, honestly, that's gonna be your first place
Speaker 1: to start. You know. It gives you even confidence I
Speaker 1: find helps me with seeing all the people match me,
Speaker 1: seeing that people think I'm good looking, Like even just
Speaker 1: that little bit of confidence I think helps, and you
Speaker 1: can find someone like mine did. Like, I'm sure there's
Speaker 1: so many people out there that experience the exact same
Speaker 1: thing as you right now. It just may not be
Speaker 1: the people that are directly around you right now. But
Speaker 1: dating apps is a good way to start, good way
Speaker 1: to get yourself out on dates. I say those singles.
Speaker 1: Me and my friend were saying we should go to
Speaker 1: one of those single events, you know that they sometimes
Speaker 1: set up where a bunch of single people get together.
Speaker 1: It's like, what's actually the harm in doing something?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Maybe that actually want to be about you like minded
Speaker 1: people in the same room that are all probably feeling nervous,
Speaker 1: feeling scared. It's like you just have to put yourself
Speaker 1: out there. It's not that easy, but I do think
Speaker 1: first step, get with your friends, take a couple of
Speaker 1: cute photos, get a dating profile, because even if dates don't.
Speaker 2: Flow in little maybe just do something in necessarily used
Speaker 2: to doing, like maybe join a different sporting club, or
Speaker 2: like join a different gym, join a different gym, join it,
Speaker 2: Like if you're at UNI, joined like a UNI group
Speaker 2: that's not part of your friends in the environment that
Speaker 2: you're uncomfortable with, because then you're forced to interact with
Speaker 2: people that you don't know. And I think it's all
Speaker 2: about getting out of your comfort zone. You're fucking twenty,
Speaker 2: like twentys and so you're so young. Who cares? I
Speaker 2: know so many people at your age.
Speaker 1: I haven't had a lot, I haven't had any experience
Speaker 1: at all, Like it's there's people in our direct lives
Speaker 1: that haven't had any experience at your age. So I
Speaker 1: just want you to understand it is completely normal and
Speaker 1: you're there is nothing to do with you. It's just,
Speaker 1: you know, sometimes situations and the way your life runs
Speaker 1: like you just don't get put in those positions a lot.
Speaker 1: So I think, yeah, just put yourself out there on
Speaker 1: the dating apps and see how you go and try.
Speaker 1: And yes, it's scary to be the one to maybe
Speaker 1: message first or match first, but sometimes that will happen
Speaker 1: and everyone has their right person out there for them
Speaker 1: and I sometimes don't feel that way, but there will
Speaker 1: be someone out there for me, and there will be
Speaker 1: someone out there for you. It works, it always does.
Speaker 2: Dilemma number three. Hi, girls, my best friend is quite extroverted,
Speaker 2: and I'm more introverted. Lately, I've made an effort to
Speaker 2: act more confident as a result, as I'm getting more
Speaker 2: attention from boys. I feel like whenever a guy gives
Speaker 2: me the slightest bit of attention, she always tries to
Speaker 2: make it about her. I went to a party and
Speaker 2: spent the whole time talking to this guy. My friend
Speaker 2: sees us talking and spending time together, and then goes
Speaker 2: and takes a selfie with this guy, tells him to
Speaker 2: hold her hands, and uploads it to a Snapchat story. Okay,
Speaker 2: they're like fifteen.
Speaker 1: Surely that's not a friendship. Yeah, that's a girl that
Speaker 1: doesn't need it in your life, with.
Speaker 2: The caption new boyfriend.
Speaker 1: Fuck.
Speaker 2: Oh. Another time, I was talking about this guy and
Speaker 2: how I've been talking to him, and she tells me
Speaker 2: the same thing has happened to her and that I
Speaker 2: shouldn't think anything of it because this guy and his
Speaker 2: best friend are talking to her, which I know for
Speaker 2: a fact is not true because they have no classes
Speaker 2: together and I've never seen them in a conversation. Am
Speaker 2: I being delusional? Or do these guys not really mean anything?
Speaker 2: Should I say something thank you? No, you shouldn't say anything.
Speaker 1: First of all, no, you don't say anything to happen.
Speaker 1: But it's not going to change a girl like There's
Speaker 1: girls like that in it, there's girls like that everywhere.
Speaker 2: You will always come across girls like that throughout your
Speaker 2: whole entire life.
Speaker 1: You do, luckily seem quite young. So I'm gonna say
Speaker 1: that this friendship won't matter, isn't going to matter very soon.
Speaker 1: You know, that's just one of those girls that is
Speaker 1: clearly only out there for herself. She probably gets attention
Speaker 1: from guys and that's the way she know fuels everything
Speaker 1: and feels her confidence. So you know, realize who you are,
Speaker 1: She's not gonna be worth it. Fuck these guys, guys
Speaker 1: will always realize who's acting like that, who's going to
Speaker 1: be the better?
Speaker 2: Guys are a lot more smarter reading girls than you think. Like,
Speaker 2: I know Izzy, and I know this girl that's had
Speaker 2: quite a few issues with her high school best friend
Speaker 2: and her and like a lot of jealousy when it
Speaker 2: comes on too guys and stuff like that, and then
Speaker 2: she's ended up taking out on the girl and she's
Speaker 2: like then felt really shit about herself. Like, guys know that,
Speaker 2: Like don't think that guys aren't aware of maybe what
Speaker 2: she's doing and it kind of ends up making her
Speaker 2: look like a bit of a idiot. But if you
Speaker 2: lush out and bite back, then she has a reason
Speaker 2: to have a go at you. So you just got
Speaker 2: to like buy your fucking tongue.
Speaker 1: Whatever. Let me always just say that the guy that's
Speaker 1: right for you will not be interested in your best friend.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you know point Blake periods like, So it's.
Speaker 1: Like that's something you know, I tell myself a lot,
Speaker 1: Like when you do have like beautiful best friends, it's
Speaker 1: like a lot of times guys will just try their
Speaker 1: luck and see which one land. Yeah, it's like the
Speaker 1: guy that's gonna be my guy is gonna want me
Speaker 1: and only me, and they're not gonna entertain anyone else.
Speaker 1: So you know, let it ride out. Don't get petty
Speaker 1: with it. Like if she's gonna act that way, it
Speaker 1: makes her look like an idiot. So you know, you'll
Speaker 1: come out on top of the long run.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I just won't say anything. It's not worth it.
Speaker 1: No, I might like, I just I realize its rude. Though.
Speaker 1: It pisses me off that people just go unchecked that
Speaker 1: are fucking around with guys their friend likes, Like it
Speaker 1: annoys me. Let's say you do want to say something,
Speaker 1: just say it from a place of I feel upset.
Speaker 1: I feel hurt, like those I statements upset at her,
Speaker 1: Like be like hey girl, like I'm just feeling a
Speaker 1: bit hurt recently. You know, I liked Jack and then
Speaker 1: you took a photo with Jack, and that really hurt me.
Speaker 2: I would just respect if you let me just talk
Speaker 2: to Jack.
Speaker 1: Yeah, say things from an eye, statements always you know
Speaker 1: I'm feeling her.
Speaker 2: My mum's a teacher and she always says that.
Speaker 1: Mum always said it too. Yeah, because they can't.
Speaker 2: Argue how you feel. You feel.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So if you do want to say something, approach
Speaker 1: it that way. But to be honest, you're not gonna
Speaker 1: lie to you. This girl won't be your friend for
Speaker 1: no so you can always just let it go, okay.
Speaker 1: Dilemma number four. Recently, I visited my friends up in
Speaker 1: Melbourne for a twenty first birthday. These are the same
Speaker 1: friends I'd planned to go to b TV with this year.
Speaker 1: We had booked all the same tickets and everything. Unfortunately,
Speaker 1: at the twenty first I had too much to drink
Speaker 1: and potentially we spiked because at the end of the
Speaker 1: night I was uncontrollably crying and I couldn't feel my legs.
Speaker 2: Fuck, that's so good, that's really scary.
Speaker 1: Luckily, my best friend of two years helped me uber home,
Speaker 1: get dressed and call someone to pick me up and
Speaker 1: take me home. Just a good friend. I was so
Speaker 1: grateful and everything it seemed fine after until yesterday I
Speaker 1: received a text thirty minutes before my shift. Oh no,
Speaker 1: same heart would fucking drop.
Speaker 2: I've had that before, and this is the worst fucking feeling.
Speaker 1: Like I got kind of like my situationship like ended
Speaker 1: up with me before a pilates class. Oh yeah, I
Speaker 1: was like so fucking sad. Yeah, thirty minutes before my
Speaker 1: shift saying that I was uninvited from BTV with the
Speaker 1: friend group.
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Okay, way to jump a fucking gun.
Speaker 2: You haven't even had a conversation with me. Maybe catch
Speaker 2: up for a coffee with me and talk me through
Speaker 2: this ability.
Speaker 1: Apologize or apologize. Yeah, okay, And if I wanted to
Speaker 1: go to BTV, I'd need to find other people to
Speaker 1: go with it because they don't want to babysit me, bitch.
Speaker 1: Oh my god. Okay.
Speaker 2: Understanding if it has been multiple occurrence, I don't know
Speaker 2: if it has for you. You've only kind of said
Speaker 2: that it's been for the twenty first I understand it.
Speaker 2: If it is an ongoing occurring incident that you behave
Speaker 2: like this, which doesn't sound like it has. I get
Speaker 2: where they do that, and I get that they do that.
Speaker 2: I think I completely get it. If you're it's an
Speaker 2: ongoing occurrence.
Speaker 1: I do understand that, but it's also like if they
Speaker 1: are your friends, maybe I'm having issues with you drinking.
Speaker 1: Don't say by the way, baby, yes we're your friendship group,
Speaker 1: but you can't come anymore to something you brought to.
Speaker 2: Think it's for if it was an ongoing occurrence, we
Speaker 2: don't know from the past. I'm just paying devil's advocate here.
Speaker 2: If they had one being like you are doing this
Speaker 2: far too often, you don't like it, they then have
Speaker 2: the right to go. Actually, no, you're not allowed to
Speaker 2: come because every single time, for the past six times,
Speaker 2: you've behaved like that and I don't want to look
Speaker 2: after you, and.
Speaker 1: I understand that, but I think conversations should be hard
Speaker 1: with the person first. So hopefully, hopefully it has in
Speaker 1: saying that it seems like it isn't a long ongoing thing,
Speaker 1: which in that case is completely unfair. I was shocked
Speaker 1: because the whole night was so out of the ordinary,
Speaker 1: and I have been feeling shit about it since it happens.
Speaker 2: There we go.
Speaker 1: Text message was super blunt and harsh. I haven't answered it,
Speaker 1: even though it's coming from the girl I tell everything
Speaker 1: to and even confided in that night, saying I was
Speaker 1: already embarrassed. Okay, that's mean. Yeah, do you think it's
Speaker 1: best to let this friendship go and find some other
Speaker 1: people to go to b TV with? I can't get
Speaker 1: over the fact we won't be spending news together.
Speaker 2: Yes, completely, you're twenty one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, friends seem like everything, Yes, But if they're willing
Speaker 1: to drop you like that you want to have a
Speaker 1: good night, clearly they're on edge about something. And I
Speaker 1: just feel like, even if you apologized and they went, oh, okay,
Speaker 1: sure you can come, like it's their fucking like, they
Speaker 1: get it right to say whether you can come or not.
Speaker 1: But I think you're gonna feel unwanted out of place,
Speaker 1: which is not fair. But I'm saying for your new
Speaker 1: year's plans, I think it's actually gonna be worth finding
Speaker 1: something different around a group of people that haven't made
Speaker 1: you feel that way.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you don't even have to go to BTV
Speaker 2: with people that are that close to you. It's such
Speaker 2: a fun environment. You end up getting so close to
Speaker 2: people that you didn't necessarily initially think you were that
Speaker 2: close with. Like the first year I didn't go with
Speaker 2: girls that I was overly closest and we had the
Speaker 2: best time. Like find a little girl. Group less is more,
Speaker 2: especially in BTV, because three girls, Yeah, that's the best.
Speaker 2: That's the most ideal. Three four girls, girls that you
Speaker 2: don't even think you're that close with, Like you have
Speaker 2: fun no matter what.
Speaker 1: Most of the time at festivals, I've ended up being
Speaker 1: like buddy, like I'll like pick a girl to hang
Speaker 1: out with, and you kind of do everything together with
Speaker 1: like a girl I'm like not that close with all. Yeah,
Speaker 1: you'll have so much fun. I'd say in regards to
Speaker 1: the response, just be like, hey, sorry to hear you
Speaker 1: feeling that way. That really upsets me. But no worries, Like,
Speaker 1: don't give them ammunition to say anything mean back to you,
Speaker 1: because it's a fragile situation. I'd say, if that is
Speaker 1: your friend, maybe even give her a call, be like,
Speaker 1: where did this come from?
Speaker 2: I'm defending me, like the girl that drove you home.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, and see how it plays out. But if
Speaker 1: it does work out in the sense that you aren't
Speaker 1: going to be going to be TV with them, I
Speaker 1: promise you it won't be for It'll be for the
Speaker 1: best and you'll have more fun than being around girls
Speaker 1: that have made you feel not wanted, because I feel
Speaker 1: like those always end up being the most challenging times
Speaker 1: where you're just trying to have fun but you just
Speaker 1: don't feel wanted. That's really really hard, and then.
Speaker 2: You end up having a shit time. It's not worth you,
Speaker 2: and it's also not worth you groveling at shit. Try
Speaker 2: to pull it straight, to try to convince them as
Speaker 2: to why they want to go with you, Like, fuck off.
Speaker 1: I'll bring my value to someone else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, I say, I'm going to bring my vibrator.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, she can do that too.
Speaker 2: You can fucking have yourself a little.
Speaker 1: Don't use your vibrator at BTVM kind of dirty and
Speaker 1: the tents don't like It's just I just don't.
Speaker 2: I just hey, you're in.
Speaker 1: A small girl group. You can go find a fun
Speaker 1: group of guys and you can hang out with them.
Speaker 1: You never know, you might not need a vibrator in
Speaker 1: your tent.
Speaker 2: Maybe I hope you don't have sex BTV.
Speaker 1: That's kind of you're going to have sex at festival.
Speaker 1: You'll have sex in the first night, oh yeah, any
Speaker 1: night after that. And your feet was just far too dirty.
Speaker 1: It's disgusting.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I can't get out of my head.
Speaker 1: I've just heard the horror stories about like friends and
Speaker 1: their boyfriends like sleeping together and apparently the tent just
Speaker 1: like oh yeah, and there's no airflow, no, and it
Speaker 1: just makes me ill. So I've always just thought first night,
Speaker 1: first night, or nothing, you know, or just way two year.
Speaker 1: It's not that deep. It's really not that deep. Have
Speaker 1: a new US, kids and put yourself to bed with
Speaker 1: your friends. How about that? Stay safe?
Speaker 2: Hi girls love the pod and I mean desperate need
Speaker 2: for help, Well go the right place. I'm currently finishing
Speaker 2: year twelve with all the high school stresses, including my
Speaker 2: decision not to have a relationship during this year. I
Speaker 2: have never had a serious relationship, so this idea has
Speaker 2: always been dawting but exciting for me. There's this guy,
Speaker 2: let's call him Paul, who I've always had a thing for.
Speaker 2: Good looking full yeah interesting, such an unusual name joke. Yeah,
Speaker 2: good looking. And we've been on and off talking for
Speaker 2: around a year now.
Speaker 1: Right, so she's been seeing people, she just hasn't done
Speaker 1: the watah and she's just been talking to him.
Speaker 2: Okay, We've never really talked or given a serious go
Speaker 2: until around three months ago. We've hooked up a few
Speaker 2: times and since we've gotten really closest friends. Friends don't
Speaker 2: hook up. But yeah, personally I don't hook up.
Speaker 1: I mean, well, I think kiss we're taking. I was
Speaker 1: taking hook up a sex. Okay, we'll go with sex,
Speaker 1: but I think it actually might be kissed.
Speaker 2: I think it's kiss. From here, it's kiss. His friends
Speaker 2: also don't hold.
Speaker 1: I was thinking some people consider hook up like hangout,
Speaker 1: like we hooked up like we hung out.
Speaker 2: No, No one said that, No, No, okay, burgin Mary.
Speaker 1: My hookups in high school were hanging out. Okay.
Speaker 2: Also, so if you think is he's experienced, take that,
Speaker 2: take that back.
Speaker 1: I'm not.
Speaker 2: We've hooked up a few times and since we've gone
Speaker 2: really close as friends. He needed a place to stay
Speaker 2: one night and I was house sitting. I said, yes,
Speaker 2: as fine, you can come over. As someone who avoids
Speaker 2: seeing people, this was a huge deal.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I had only thought of it as friends, as we
Speaker 2: hadn't been more than friends in ages. After talking that night,
Speaker 2: I had changed my perspective on him. We had gotten
Speaker 2: so much closer and had been talking and seeing each
Speaker 2: other for a while. Now he wants a relationship, but
Speaker 2: I don't know what to do. I'm going to school
Speaker 2: as soon and I wanted to wait until after then,
Speaker 2: but obviously this sounds like I would want to get
Speaker 2: with other people, which to him is a make or break.
Speaker 2: He's one of those guys that's taken majority of my
Speaker 2: firsts Oh so they have.
Speaker 1: Hooked up, Well yeah, unless it's everything, but.
Speaker 2: The majority of my first meeting my parents, driving around, dates,
Speaker 2: et cetera. So I'm feeling stuck on what to do now.
Speaker 2: I don't want to lead him one because I truly
Speaker 2: like him a lot more than I thought I would.
Speaker 2: But I also don't want a boyfriend on schoolies in Bali,
Speaker 2: as I want it to be a girls trip, not
Speaker 2: have the stress about what he's doing or being with
Speaker 2: the whole time. I would love some advice and where
Speaker 2: to go and know your point of view on this stitch.
Speaker 1: I'm going to say, don't enter into a relationship unless
Speaker 1: you want to. Don't say yes to being boyfriend and
Speaker 1: girlfriend unless you want to. Just yeah, no, I just
Speaker 1: more so for the sake of I'm not saying he's
Speaker 1: asking you out before school is because he wants you know,
Speaker 1: life is easier of you just know that the person
Speaker 1: you're seeing is your boyfriend and they're not going to
Speaker 1: do anything, and it's all good and fine. But I
Speaker 1: think what's the harmon just waiting that week saying to him, Look, I.
Speaker 2: Have a completely different perspective of you and this.
Speaker 1: I just think, don't say yes to being in a
Speaker 1: relationship unless you are ready and you really really want it.
Speaker 2: But I don't think he's He hasn't asked her, do
Speaker 2: you want to be my girlfriend? I thought, no, he
Speaker 2: hasn't said that. He was like, I don't know because
Speaker 2: I don't want to lead him on. But she's saying
Speaker 2: it could get to the stage or that he's going
Speaker 2: to ask him to be the boyfriend, but.
Speaker 1: Well, that would be great, wait till he gets to
Speaker 1: that stage.
Speaker 2: I just think you need to like not think so
Speaker 2: much into it and like having a boyfriend. Like if
Speaker 2: someone said, oh, I don't want to have a boyfriend
Speaker 2: on school is it kind of hints that you just
Speaker 2: like want to hook up with him, That is, you
Speaker 2: don't like them enough to want to be in a relationship.
Speaker 2: School is you can be in a relationship and have
Speaker 2: it as you said you wanted it to be a
Speaker 2: girl's trip. It can still be a girl's trip even
Speaker 2: if you have a boyfriend. You could still have fun,
Speaker 2: You can still go out, you can still have all
Speaker 2: your friends. You've just got a boyfriend at home that
Speaker 2: you just don't want to hook up with other people,
Speaker 2: Like a boyfriend shouldn't interfere with your life the way
Speaker 2: that you're making it out that it is going to,
Speaker 2: and it shouldn't inherent in your life.
Speaker 1: You don't want to hook up with anyone else.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it benefited you know what I mean. He seems
Speaker 2: to be doing everything nice for you. He seems to
Speaker 2: be doing all the right things like I have. There's
Speaker 2: no reason as to why you shouldn't. And you do
Speaker 2: say you like him, like, I just don't understand why
Speaker 2: you would.
Speaker 1: I do stand by, Like it's if you say I
Speaker 1: want to be single for schools, it's for a reason,
Speaker 1: and it shows that it's because you want something else.
Speaker 1: Whether it does or doesn't, that's what he's going to
Speaker 1: get from it. And I get why he would, Yeah, completely,
Speaker 1: But I also think don't say yes to a relationship
Speaker 1: unless you feel ready. And you like this guy, we
Speaker 1: obviously can't feel how much you like this guy, but
Speaker 1: like if you feel like and also you don't have
Speaker 1: to marry the guy, you know, you can be your boyfriend.
Speaker 2: For a little Yeah, boyfriends aren't that big of a deal.
Speaker 2: Relationships should be easy, and relationship should be like a compliment,
Speaker 2: and like compliment your life. He seems like he's a
Speaker 2: really nice guy in your life, so like why wouldn't
Speaker 2: you do?
Speaker 1: You know what I mean. We're saying there's no downfall
Speaker 1: to having him be your boyfriend, no, completely, and if
Speaker 1: it's not working out, you end it.
Speaker 2: And if it's a healthy relationship, he can go off
Speaker 2: at schools and do his thing. You can go off
Speaker 2: it at schools and do your thing, and then you
Speaker 2: come back together after a week. It's a week of
Speaker 2: fucking schoolies and you're gonna be a fiends with a
Speaker 2: fucking jug in your hand, is going to be drinking
Speaker 2: the girls. Like it's not that big.
Speaker 1: It's it's like, even if he isn't your boyfriend and
Speaker 1: you did something or he did something, you're just gonna
Speaker 1: be all the same. You saw like this guy.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and it would just make it more It would
Speaker 2: actually make it more difficult him not being your boyfriend,
Speaker 2: because it's kind of like, oh, I don't know what
Speaker 2: he's doing, and if you like him enough, you're still
Speaker 2: going to be thinking that even if you're not boyfriend
Speaker 2: and girlfriend at school, he's going to make you. It's
Speaker 2: going to make you more stressed.
Speaker 1: But you can down.
Speaker 2: Yeah, lock him down. I would be locking him down
Speaker 2: because at the end of the day, if he then
Speaker 2: fucks up, you go, well, you fucking cheated on me
Speaker 2: because you're my boyfriend. But then he could do that,
Speaker 2: Oh but we weren't dating and stuff like that, and
Speaker 2: that would make you I.
Speaker 1: Just start the relationship off on the wrong foot. He
Speaker 1: clearly seems to like you, and by the looks of it,
Speaker 1: doesn't seem like he wants to be doing anything else
Speaker 1: on school is. So I think if it feels right
Speaker 1: and you like the guy, there is absolutely no harm
Speaker 1: in having a boyfriend, especially on school is. It makes
Speaker 1: no difference period period, per Alright, ew, I'm twenty four.
Speaker 2: I never remind myself, Oh my god, so is he
Speaker 2: and I like pieced ourselves the other night because I
Speaker 2: like shard show this TikTok to her. It was like,
Speaker 2: some people my age are getting married, some people are
Speaker 2: having babies and I'm volunteering at a duck center in
Speaker 2: Vietnam to feed the ducks, and I'm like, easy, this
Speaker 2: is you, And I like an Alas Dullan's his easy
Speaker 2: age just got engaged when we went.
Speaker 1: To school together, and she's engaged now and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I'm fucking around in Bali. But you know what, that's fine.
Speaker 1: It does Actually that weighs on me a little bit.
Speaker 1: I do think it's like that, yeah, but I also
Speaker 1: think I'm twenty four, like so fucking young, do you
Speaker 1: know what I mean?
Speaker 2: Like so young?
Speaker 1: Congratulations to people that are taking those milestone steps at
Speaker 1: this age, but that's not the right way to do things,
Speaker 1: as either is mine. You know, there's whatever you want
Speaker 1: to do. So I kind of need I was doing
Speaker 1: better either, like you're so successful at twenty four. I
Speaker 1: just need to relinquish the fact that I'm not doing
Speaker 1: things a certain way, like I don't need to be.
Speaker 1: I can do it however I want. All right, guys,
Speaker 1: Well that is it for today's episode. Please, as we
Speaker 1: said at the beginning, keep sending through those dilemmas that
Speaker 1: makes life so easy.
Speaker 2: Faust.
Speaker 1: We love hearing about your lives and we will chary
Speaker 1: to you on say, by the puff off