WEBVTT - #2065 The Self-Created Sh*t-Fest - Kelly Smith 0:00:00.560 --> 0:00:03.200 Hello, t yp family, Craig Anthony Harper is my name, 0:00:03.240 --> 0:00:06.280 mar Tiffany and cookers over there just inhaling all the 0:00:06.320 --> 0:00:13.680 fucking carbohydrates in metropolitan Melbourne. She's just she just got 0:00:13.720 --> 0:00:17.000 home from the gym and inhaled a bowl of knoki. 0:00:17.239 --> 0:00:21.440 That's right, noki. And now she's sitting there like a 0:00:21.480 --> 0:00:28.479 fucking fat little Craig Harper inhaling chocolate. You're such a 0:00:28.520 --> 0:00:35.040 bad role model. I'm all about balance, harp All. I 0:00:35.040 --> 0:00:38.080 don't know that the noki with the creamy sauce, what 0:00:38.280 --> 0:00:43.400 was the sauce blue sauce? Oh god, so carbs and 0:00:43.479 --> 0:00:48.760 fat and then sugar and fat, well, same same. And 0:00:48.800 --> 0:00:51.080 then you're going to get up tomorrow and annoyingly, your 0:00:51.120 --> 0:00:53.440 abs will be fucking sharper, and your delts will be 0:00:53.479 --> 0:00:54.160 a bit bigger. 0:00:54.400 --> 0:00:57.360 These delts don't feed on bloody kale. 0:00:57.040 --> 0:00:57.760 Do they. 0:00:58.240 --> 0:00:59.520 No, they definitely don't. 0:01:00.440 --> 0:01:01.680 They need a bit about your gold. 0:01:02.280 --> 0:01:05.399 You know what, Kelly and I who with all due respect, 0:01:05.520 --> 0:01:07.240 kel you and I are probably in the same boat. 0:01:07.240 --> 0:01:09.759 It's not that we're not fucking beautiful or brilliant ourselves, 0:01:09.800 --> 0:01:12.520 but we don't have the genetics of one t cook 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:14.960 up at the top left hand corner of my screen. Do. 0:01:15.040 --> 0:01:19.240 We certainly don't, so we collectively want to punch you 0:01:19.280 --> 0:01:20.880 in your fucking rock hard face. 0:01:21.280 --> 0:01:24.480 Yeah, I think I've ganged two ki loes just hearing you. 0:01:25.360 --> 0:01:28.400 Yeah before Yeah, my ass just exploded out the back 0:01:28.520 --> 0:01:31.919 listening to that, and before any one writes me an email. 0:01:31.920 --> 0:01:34.039 We don't really want to punch tip in the face. 0:01:34.080 --> 0:01:38.160 That's a joke, Kelly, how are you? I'm good. 0:01:38.200 --> 0:01:38.679 I'm good. 0:01:38.920 --> 0:01:42.280 I'm craving chocolate now and that's not fair because I 0:01:42.319 --> 0:01:43.679 don't eat that much chocolate. 0:01:44.360 --> 0:01:48.160 What's your If you could have one food that was 0:01:48.200 --> 0:01:49.800 what do you call it? You know where it's like 0:01:49.880 --> 0:01:52.920 a you know those cards, is like a joke or 0:01:52.920 --> 0:01:54.800 what is it? Like a wild card where it can 0:01:54.840 --> 0:01:57.520 be anything? But you could have one food that would 0:01:57.720 --> 0:02:01.240 miraculously have no calories and you could have it whenever 0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.760 you wanted, and you could eat that food and it 0:02:03.760 --> 0:02:06.440 wouldn't hurt your body in any What would that food be? 0:02:06.920 --> 0:02:09.400 And it could be like a single thing like chocolate 0:02:09.520 --> 0:02:12.600 or cheese, or it could be something a composite like 0:02:12.840 --> 0:02:14.640 lasagna or chicken stir fry. 0:02:15.840 --> 0:02:19.639 Yeah, lazaang is in there? Any kind of pasta. Just yeah, 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:23.040 all day, every day. If I could, I absolutely would. 0:02:24.639 --> 0:02:24.839 Yeah. 0:02:24.919 --> 0:02:27.200 Only I used to go hard. When I was a fat, 0:02:27.200 --> 0:02:30.320 little fucker. I used to eat all the pasta. Thanks Mary, 0:02:30.400 --> 0:02:33.079 Thanks for cooking that. Mary. Did you not notice how 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:38.520 fucking big I was getting? Anyway? I blame her. That's 0:02:38.720 --> 0:02:42.120 that's what I do. It's Mary Harper's fault. I wasn't. 0:02:42.160 --> 0:02:46.080 I had no role. Yes I did. I had all 0:02:46.080 --> 0:02:48.280 the rolls with ham and cheese. But I don't worry 0:02:48.320 --> 0:02:52.840 about that every day. And I used to squish him in. 0:02:53.080 --> 0:02:55.320 Remember that you wouldn't even know this, you too, because 0:02:55.360 --> 0:02:58.320 you're too young. But in the old days are sixty 0:02:58.360 --> 0:03:00.720 year old. In the old days, back in the seventies, 0:03:01.160 --> 0:03:04.400 we used to have a thing called a jaffalin. Oh yeah, 0:03:04.480 --> 0:03:08.360 oh yeah, they're the best. And you would two bits 0:03:08.360 --> 0:03:10.360 of bread and you'd fill it with stuff and then 0:03:10.400 --> 0:03:12.919 it'd be round. This thing would be round to make 0:03:13.120 --> 0:03:17.080 like a flying saucer shape toasted singer. You cut the 0:03:17.120 --> 0:03:20.079 crust off and throw that shit away. Fuck the crusts, 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:23.000 and then you know what I used. I shouldn't talk 0:03:23.040 --> 0:03:25.000 about this because I feel like I might go up 0:03:25.040 --> 0:03:26.960 to seven to eleven and buy a pie straight after 0:03:27.040 --> 0:03:30.639 the show. But what I used to do was, by 0:03:30.680 --> 0:03:34.840 the way, everybody don't do as I do, Okay. I 0:03:34.960 --> 0:03:38.240 used to get so white bread. Of course I did 0:03:38.640 --> 0:03:43.400 fill it with Mary's bolonnaise sauce and then grated cheese 0:03:43.880 --> 0:03:46.480 right so you'd butter the bread on the outside. Then 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:50.800 it'd be full with bolonnaise, sauce and tasty cheese. Was 0:03:50.840 --> 0:03:54.120 like the closest thing to cocaine that I ever had. 0:03:54.800 --> 0:03:56.360 Did you burn your mouth? Do you burn your skin 0:03:56.400 --> 0:03:59.480 off the roof of your mouth? Nocky tonight, But it's 0:03:59.520 --> 0:04:01.680 actually want a big chunk off the top of my men? 0:04:02.440 --> 0:04:07.760 Well, that's God teaching you a lessons, says me, God spokesperson. 0:04:09.080 --> 0:04:09.240 Yeah. 0:04:09.320 --> 0:04:11.680 Now, I used to nearly fucking inhale three of my 0:04:11.720 --> 0:04:15.960 fingers shoveling that shit in. I was so excited. And 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:17.800 then what I would do is I would make one. 0:04:18.600 --> 0:04:20.600 So this is literally what I did, because I used 0:04:20.640 --> 0:04:22.800 to get home before Ron and Mary because back in 0:04:22.839 --> 0:04:25.120 the old days when kids just let themselves in what 0:04:25.160 --> 0:04:28.720 do they call them latchkey kids or something, And I'd 0:04:28.800 --> 0:04:31.560 get home at four and just go into a fucking 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:35.440 caloric frenzy for about an hour and then try and 0:04:35.520 --> 0:04:39.039 let myself debrief a bit so that I could eat 0:04:39.080 --> 0:04:42.440 whatever Mary was making for dinner. So I would try 0:04:42.480 --> 0:04:45.520 to get rid of all of the evidence of the 0:04:46.040 --> 0:04:52.160 aforementioned jaffel, but Mum would come in. The whole joint 0:04:52.160 --> 0:04:56.279 would smell like toasted sandwiches and old sauce. You like, 0:04:56.520 --> 0:04:59.960 did you make yourself for daffl? I might a little bit, 0:05:02.520 --> 0:05:06.040 a little one. What do you mean a little one? 0:05:06.160 --> 0:05:09.160 I'm like, well, she goes, well, there are only one size. 0:05:09.200 --> 0:05:13.200 You can't make a little one. So nonetheless I kept 0:05:13.279 --> 0:05:18.599 doing it. Anyway, enough about my childhood eating addiction. So 0:05:18.839 --> 0:05:21.800 what would you go call? What would your one food be? 0:05:22.800 --> 0:05:27.039 Pasta of any sort? And just throw it at me? 0:05:27.800 --> 0:05:29.800 Really if you had to pick one though, Like do 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:33.120 you like creamy sauces or meat sauces, garlic. 0:05:33.480 --> 0:05:36.160 Meat meat saucer, lasagna, bolonnaise? 0:05:36.520 --> 0:05:41.880 Yep, all right, yep, yep, tiff those cookies, pistachio cookie. 0:05:42.120 --> 0:05:46.200 Yeah that's true, but have you tried have you tried 0:05:46.240 --> 0:05:47.440 pistachio pasta? 0:05:48.760 --> 0:05:57.160 It sounds terrible? Oh yep, yeah maybe maybe maybe. Yeah, 0:05:57.360 --> 0:06:01.440 you know I have this because I eat lots of 0:06:01.520 --> 0:06:08.839 roasted almonds. So my sweets quite often is vanilla yogurt 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:12.719 at night with roasted almonds, and it's kind of sweet 0:06:12.760 --> 0:06:20.080 and crunchy, and it's definitely not cheesecake or yoki or 0:06:20.120 --> 0:06:25.719 those fucking cookies or chocolate. But over here at fucking 0:06:25.920 --> 0:06:30.520 Sad Sack Central, you know, my dopamine goes off like 0:06:30.560 --> 0:06:32.800 a frog and a sock. I just pretend, I pretend 0:06:32.880 --> 0:06:36.200 I'm having an indulgence. I'm like, oh, look at me, 0:06:36.560 --> 0:06:42.039 fucking nuts and yogurt, you crazy bastard, Look at me. 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:46.560 Go It's no fucking jaffle with cheese and whole sauce, 0:06:46.640 --> 0:06:51.440 is it. It's how sad I've become. Oh yeah, but 0:06:51.480 --> 0:06:53.440 at least you'll live a long time. But you'll wear 0:06:53.480 --> 0:06:56.960 a miserable cunt. But you'll live to two hundred though, fuck. 0:06:56.960 --> 0:06:58.760 The misery might get you sooner. 0:07:01.560 --> 0:07:06.360 That's hilarious. So officially, welcome to the show, Kelly. It's 0:07:06.360 --> 0:07:09.880 good to see you. For those of you who have 0:07:10.000 --> 0:07:14.360 met Kelly before, She's was just a listener and I 0:07:14.400 --> 0:07:17.440 don't say were just was. She was a listener who 0:07:17.880 --> 0:07:20.440 bumped into me at the gym. We bumped into each 0:07:20.480 --> 0:07:22.560 other we got to know each other, and she said 0:07:22.600 --> 0:07:26.440 one day something like could I ask you some questions 0:07:26.960 --> 0:07:32.920 on the show? And I went fucking pushy. But turns 0:07:33.000 --> 0:07:37.679 out quite good, quite good. So she's back, she's back. 0:07:37.960 --> 0:07:40.520 Have you been doing been doing anythinking? 0:07:41.640 --> 0:07:42.080 Thinking? 0:07:42.320 --> 0:07:44.680 Well, you put up a post this morning of your book, 0:07:44.960 --> 0:07:48.680 this one which actually have the twenty Questions for humans, 0:07:48.720 --> 0:07:51.440 And this is from when I was just a listener 0:07:51.440 --> 0:07:52.480 and I came along. 0:07:52.280 --> 0:07:54.840 To do a bit of a preread. So I've got 0:07:54.880 --> 0:07:59.360 the autograph in there and everything. It's that was. 0:07:59.320 --> 0:08:03.240 A fun day because I don't know, do you know 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:05.840 this story TIF where I wrote the book and I 0:08:05.880 --> 0:08:10.520 wanted people to read it, proof read it, edit it, 0:08:11.120 --> 0:08:14.240 scribble all over it. And I thought I can't get 0:08:14.280 --> 0:08:18.160 any more brutal feedback than twenty strangers. So I got 0:08:18.160 --> 0:08:21.600 twenty people to come to my then office. Was that 0:08:21.680 --> 0:08:25.560 up in Marabin or was that yeah? Yeah? Yeah? And 0:08:26.000 --> 0:08:29.800 I had twenty people that were followers or friends or whatever. 0:08:30.560 --> 0:08:33.480 I don't think even anyone that I really personally knew, 0:08:33.679 --> 0:08:37.440 if maybe one or two, and they all read the book. 0:08:38.040 --> 0:08:40.040 Because a short book, you can read it, if you're 0:08:40.040 --> 0:08:41.760 a fast reader, you can read it in an hour. 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:43.520 If you're slow, it's probably an hour and a half. 0:08:43.520 --> 0:08:45.720 But then if you're really trying to consume it and 0:08:45.800 --> 0:08:48.880 dissect it and correct it and give me feedback, it 0:08:48.920 --> 0:08:50.280 probably took a couple of hours. 0:08:50.320 --> 0:08:53.199 Col Yeah, I think it was about two hours. 0:08:53.920 --> 0:08:57.720 And I gave everybody a red pen and a draft copy, 0:08:57.840 --> 0:09:00.120 and their job was to write all over it, well 0:09:00.480 --> 0:09:04.640 right wherever they felt necessary in red pen. And it 0:09:04.679 --> 0:09:07.440 was good. It was like I had twenty editors at 0:09:07.440 --> 0:09:12.360 once and everyone got a free book when it came 0:09:12.400 --> 0:09:15.319 out and assigned a copy, and yeah, so it was 0:09:15.400 --> 0:09:15.839 win win. 0:09:16.280 --> 0:09:18.360 That was my copy. It was It was really fun. 0:09:18.400 --> 0:09:21.319 And that was when I was literally just a listener, 0:09:22.480 --> 0:09:25.319 didn't know you at all, and it was a great experience. 0:09:25.400 --> 0:09:26.080 But it did. 0:09:26.360 --> 0:09:29.480 So I've got a few questions today because you just said, 0:09:30.120 --> 0:09:32.960 ask whatever you want and I was like, great, let's go. 0:09:34.240 --> 0:09:37.240 But I did think, given that there's twenty on here 0:09:37.840 --> 0:09:40.760 and we're coming up to the tail end of the year, 0:09:41.400 --> 0:09:45.520 I'm curious as to what you if people would pick 0:09:45.720 --> 0:09:49.719 just one question from the book, what would you what. 0:09:49.679 --> 0:09:53.920 Would you suggest if they would. I don't know, I 0:09:54.000 --> 0:09:55.720 don't have them in front of me, but off the 0:09:55.720 --> 0:09:58.040 top of my house. Should know them all off by heart. 0:09:58.880 --> 0:10:05.120 But I'm going to say I think, like, like, why 0:10:05.120 --> 0:10:06.920 do I say yes when I should say no? I 0:10:06.920 --> 0:10:08.920 think a lot of people do that, kind of people 0:10:08.920 --> 0:10:11.960 pleasing stuff. I mean, these are the ones that resonate 0:10:12.000 --> 0:10:14.560 for me. Obviously, the one at the end, I think 0:10:14.600 --> 0:10:16.720 it's the last one is what's the meaning of life? 0:10:16.760 --> 0:10:19.800 Which is really it's really meant to be, like, what's 0:10:19.840 --> 0:10:23.240 the meaning of my life? And it's more about it's 0:10:23.240 --> 0:10:27.959 not that there's obviously a categoric answer to that, but 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:31.520 rather that that's a good thing to think about, like 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:36.480 what does my life mean? What does it represent? What 0:10:36.640 --> 0:10:38.600 is you know, it's kind of insects with that, what 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:40.440 is my purpose? And all that? Let me have a 0:10:40.480 --> 0:10:42.080 look what's my life? 0:10:42.200 --> 0:10:42.640 I do? 0:10:42.679 --> 0:10:44.480 You know this sounds weird because I wrote it, but 0:10:45.360 --> 0:10:47.360 like I like all of them, Like what's my life 0:10:47.400 --> 0:10:50.280 telling me? I love that question because like, we're always 0:10:50.280 --> 0:10:54.520 producing results, we're always producing data, So I think it's 0:10:54.960 --> 0:10:58.200 that's a good question. Number two, what are my core values? 0:10:58.240 --> 0:11:01.880 How do I live in alignment? What do I self say? Yeah? 0:11:02.160 --> 0:11:05.200 Probably number one, what's my life telling me? I think 0:11:07.960 --> 0:11:13.000 maybe like question fourteen is not a particularly clever or 0:11:13.080 --> 0:11:16.840 mind blowing question, but I think it's a really important question. 0:11:16.880 --> 0:11:18.880 And the question is am I ready to do the work? 0:11:19.720 --> 0:11:22.319 And I just think that all the other questions are 0:11:22.360 --> 0:11:27.160 redundant if the answer to fourteen is not yes, And 0:11:27.200 --> 0:11:31.559 I mean actually really no bullshit, yes, not just I'm 0:11:31.559 --> 0:11:35.160 going to say yes because someone's listening. And I feel 0:11:35.160 --> 0:11:39.320 like for many people, the answer to am I genuinely 0:11:39.400 --> 0:11:43.920 ready to roll up my sleeves, do the work? Embrace 0:11:44.000 --> 0:11:47.839 the suck, get uncomfortable, keep doing it, not give up, 0:11:47.960 --> 0:11:52.079 show up every fucking day, deal with the discomfort, Embrace 0:11:52.120 --> 0:11:57.560 the delaying of gratification, all that shit. I think the 0:11:57.600 --> 0:12:02.000 answer truly is for most people because they love the 0:12:02.040 --> 0:12:07.760 idea of change and growth. But we know that you 0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:12.520 know the process, the journey is for a while at least, 0:12:13.080 --> 0:12:16.520 all the UN's as we've spoken about, uncomfortable, et cetera. 0:12:16.679 --> 0:12:20.640 So yeah, but we by the way, everybody, if you're thinking, 0:12:20.720 --> 0:12:22.600 this is not a promo for this book, because I 0:12:22.640 --> 0:12:25.920 don't even know if we have any copies, so it's 0:12:25.960 --> 0:12:30.360 definitely not a thinly or badly disguised promo for the book. 0:12:30.400 --> 0:12:34.280 But what about you kel, what's If you go into 0:12:34.280 --> 0:12:37.080 my Instagram, you'll see the book. If you want to 0:12:37.080 --> 0:12:42.480 pick one question that you think like sticks out for you, kel, 0:12:42.559 --> 0:12:44.440 what would your one or two be? 0:12:45.400 --> 0:12:49.080 So very recently, I think for me it's question fifteen, 0:12:49.160 --> 0:12:52.320 and that is what is my body telling me? That's 0:12:52.360 --> 0:12:55.560 because I've had a bit of a health thing going 0:12:55.600 --> 0:13:00.240 on where I was getting these insane migraines and it 0:13:00.280 --> 0:13:02.360 was a bit it freaked them out a little bit, 0:13:02.400 --> 0:13:05.000 and it goes back to the uns and then the overs. 0:13:05.120 --> 0:13:08.320 So I was uncertain as to what was going on. 0:13:09.200 --> 0:13:11.600 Yes, I had to go for an MRI, which is 0:13:11.760 --> 0:13:15.840 extremely fun. Anyone's had one of those because there's a 0:13:15.840 --> 0:13:18.960 bit of dodgy brain history in the family. And so 0:13:19.040 --> 0:13:22.000 of course the overthinking kicked in. I'm like, oh, far out, 0:13:22.080 --> 0:13:24.840 this is it. It's going to be the worst case scenario. 0:13:26.640 --> 0:13:27.000 It's not. 0:13:27.920 --> 0:13:30.840 Turns out I've got a bit of a vertebrae that's 0:13:30.880 --> 0:13:34.400 out and my chiropractor is fixing it. So best case scenario. 0:13:35.040 --> 0:13:38.280 But it was you know, what's my body telling me? 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:40.880 And there was a lot of stress built up, and 0:13:40.920 --> 0:13:43.959 there was a lot of not actually looking after basic 0:13:44.040 --> 0:13:45.160 things like my posture. 0:13:46.440 --> 0:13:48.440 So that was a big question. Yeah, yeah, so that 0:13:48.520 --> 0:13:52.839 was a big question. And then what do I need 0:13:52.920 --> 0:13:53.720 to stop doing? 0:13:54.559 --> 0:13:59.120 And that, to me really aligns with are you ready 0:13:59.120 --> 0:14:02.560 to do the work? Because stopping doing a lot of 0:14:02.600 --> 0:14:05.480 things can be harder than starting to do a lot 0:14:05.480 --> 0:14:11.920 of new things. So, yeah, you know when you've been 0:14:12.000 --> 0:14:15.679 so used to having a certain behavior for so long 0:14:15.720 --> 0:14:17.880 and then you go, it's not it's not helping me, 0:14:17.960 --> 0:14:20.640 it's not helping me grow and learn, and you guys 0:14:20.640 --> 0:14:23.320 need to stop it. But you might be surrounded by 0:14:23.320 --> 0:14:25.080 people who are enabling that behavior. 0:14:25.760 --> 0:14:32.680 Yes, yeah, so those two Yeah cool? Uh, Tiffany Reckon, 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:33.360 There's two. 0:14:33.200 --> 0:14:34.400 That stick out for me. 0:14:34.480 --> 0:14:37.400 One we talked about this yesterday when we recorded what 0:14:37.480 --> 0:14:40.080 am I core values and how do I live in alignment? 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:41.239 Mmmmm. 0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:45.680 And the other one is the am I efficient or 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:48.360 just busy, because I've spent a lot of time being 0:14:48.520 --> 0:14:50.840 just busy, and I think you can you can just 0:14:50.920 --> 0:14:54.800 repeat the habit of that and recreate it in a 0:14:54.880 --> 0:14:57.840 new version of busy, telling yourself, Oh, I'm going to 0:14:57.920 --> 0:14:59.040 do things better this time. 0:15:00.720 --> 0:15:06.040 Yeah, that's so true. Yeah. I felt in the last 0:15:06.040 --> 0:15:08.240 six years with my study that there were times when 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:10.600 I was busy and I was chaos, but I wasn't 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:12.760 really getting a lot done. But I think that comes 0:15:12.800 --> 0:15:16.800 with being involved in something where you don't have a 0:15:16.840 --> 0:15:19.360 high level of skill. You know. It's like, you think 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:22.640 now about how well you can produce and edit a 0:15:22.680 --> 0:15:27.400 podcast and produce reels and create stuff for Instagram or 0:15:27.440 --> 0:15:31.040 whatever social media platform, and you can do awesome stuff 0:15:31.080 --> 0:15:33.200 in a few minutes that used to take you an 0:15:33.200 --> 0:15:35.480 hour that wasn't as good as you can produce now. 0:15:35.800 --> 0:15:37.680 And yes, the tech has evolved and all of that, 0:15:37.840 --> 0:15:41.280 but yeah, you just become you just become better. But 0:15:41.320 --> 0:15:44.440 I do think I do think a lot of people 0:15:45.480 --> 0:15:50.200 almost pride themselves on the busy badge too. It's like it's, well, 0:15:50.320 --> 0:15:53.840 you know, it's like, how are you busy? Right? Okay, 0:15:54.080 --> 0:15:56.440 that doesn't really tell them, just kind of tells me 0:15:56.480 --> 0:16:01.280 what you're doing. But yeah, I think I think all 0:16:01.320 --> 0:16:04.720 of them are solid questions that and if you don't 0:16:04.760 --> 0:16:06.560 need to buy a book, everyone, you can just go 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:08.760 onto my website and you'll see the back of the book. 0:16:09.160 --> 0:16:11.680 I've literally got all the questions, which is probably a 0:16:11.760 --> 0:16:15.800 stupid thing to do because essentially the key points of 0:16:15.840 --> 0:16:17.760 the book are on the back cover, so fuck it, 0:16:17.960 --> 0:16:21.240 just take a screenshot of the back cover and then 0:16:21.240 --> 0:16:24.200 figure out the rest, you know. But I certainly think 0:16:24.600 --> 0:16:28.200 they're not a bad kind of starting point for more 0:16:28.240 --> 0:16:35.720 for conversations and self explorations than absolute definitive answers or 0:16:36.600 --> 0:16:42.160 a map for anybody individually, because you know, what's awesome 0:16:42.200 --> 0:16:44.360 for me won't be awesome for the next person, and 0:16:44.440 --> 0:16:46.680 vice versa. So that's even in the middle of all 0:16:46.680 --> 0:16:50.160 this data and feedback and thinking and asking of questions 0:16:50.320 --> 0:16:53.720 and exploring of concepts, we've still got to relate that 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:57.120 because it's not like, oh, there's one best way to 0:16:57.120 --> 0:16:59.920 be effective, or there's one best way to interpret the 0:17:00.080 --> 0:17:02.960 data from our body, and there's one best way to 0:17:03.040 --> 0:17:05.600 create our optimal life, and there's you know, there's a 0:17:05.640 --> 0:17:10.199 million ways. And it's like we've spoken before about, you know, 0:17:10.240 --> 0:17:12.440 for me, a great job is one where I don't 0:17:12.440 --> 0:17:16.080 have a boss, one where there's no absolute definitive protocol 0:17:16.200 --> 0:17:20.160 or routine, one where there's lots of flexibility and even 0:17:20.240 --> 0:17:24.960 lots of uncertainty. I ironically love the uncertainty. I like 0:17:25.600 --> 0:17:28.320 not knowing what's going to happen next year. If I 0:17:28.400 --> 0:17:32.040 knew exactly kind of step by step what was going 0:17:32.119 --> 0:17:35.800 to happen next year, I'd lose excitement and focus. So 0:17:35.960 --> 0:17:38.800 for me going into a new year with a whole 0:17:38.800 --> 0:17:42.880 lot of uncertainty and unknown, thinking, well, I could make 0:17:42.920 --> 0:17:44.480 a bit of dough or a lot of dough, I 0:17:44.480 --> 0:17:46.680 could do great shit, or I could crash and burn, 0:17:46.840 --> 0:17:50.080 or I might run some really successful events, or I 0:17:50.160 --> 0:17:52.439 might not, or I might write another book, or I 0:17:52.520 --> 0:17:55.879 might not, or I love I love that. But that 0:17:56.119 --> 0:17:59.200 just works for me and maybe a little bit for you, Tiff, 0:17:59.280 --> 0:18:00.760 But I don't know that it would for a lot 0:18:00.800 --> 0:18:01.240 of people. 0:18:02.440 --> 0:18:03.840 When did you write that book? 0:18:07.200 --> 0:18:11.560 Maybe twenty twenty, I don't know. What does it say? 0:18:11.680 --> 0:18:14.760 Kel twenty nineteen, twenty nineteen? 0:18:14.880 --> 0:18:15.360 What would you. 0:18:15.280 --> 0:18:15.680 Add to. 0:18:17.359 --> 0:18:17.840 Say? Again? 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:21.000 What would you add to that? Would you add any questions? 0:18:21.960 --> 0:18:23.720 Not to come to me? Off the top of my head? 0:18:24.760 --> 0:18:31.320 You know, I'd probably make it more sweary. No, No, 0:18:31.400 --> 0:18:34.679 I'm actually writing another book now, and I love the 0:18:34.760 --> 0:18:39.320 idea of the new book. I can't Melissa's totally reprimanded 0:18:39.359 --> 0:18:43.080 me from talking about the concept or because it's very 0:18:43.080 --> 0:18:48.280 different and I've written quite a bit of it, and yeah, 0:18:48.400 --> 0:18:53.720 and so yeah, I hope that I will push that 0:18:53.760 --> 0:18:57.280 out of the literary nest kind of mid next year 0:18:57.600 --> 0:19:03.040 and wrap some marketing and PR and all of that 0:19:03.119 --> 0:19:05.320 stuff around it and get a few bums on seats 0:19:05.320 --> 0:19:07.600 and do workshops and sell a few copies. But we'll 0:19:07.640 --> 0:19:11.400 see what happens. But everything starts with an idea. All right, Kel, 0:19:11.480 --> 0:19:12.040 I'm ready. 0:19:12.840 --> 0:19:15.159 So I'm interested in what you just said though, about 0:19:15.400 --> 0:19:20.280 being excited about uncertainty, because that's something that I absolutely 0:19:20.280 --> 0:19:23.640 do not resonate with, Like uncertainty scares the shit out 0:19:23.680 --> 0:19:26.679 of me, and that's when my over is kicking. So 0:19:27.720 --> 0:19:31.520 can you explain what it's like to feel that excitement 0:19:31.560 --> 0:19:34.560 about the uncertainty and why that's a good thing for you? 0:19:35.240 --> 0:19:38.000 Yeah, I don't know. I think the unknown and the 0:19:38.080 --> 0:19:40.640 uncertain and the unfamiliar has been a place that I've 0:19:40.680 --> 0:19:43.280 existed a lot of my life. Setting up my first business, 0:19:43.320 --> 0:19:46.880 setting up the first personal training center in Australia, starting 0:19:46.920 --> 0:19:51.040 my podcast, failing, starting another one, failing, starting another one, failing, 0:19:51.920 --> 0:19:55.960 starting the U Project, which was the fourth endeavor, doing 0:19:56.160 --> 0:19:59.640 hundreds of speaking gigs that were somewhere between complete shit 0:19:59.800 --> 0:20:04.800 and average. But out of all of those trials and 0:20:04.800 --> 0:20:10.399 tribulations came a lot of really good stuff, like I 0:20:10.480 --> 0:20:15.359 don't seem to thrive when I'm comfortable. I seem to 0:20:15.400 --> 0:20:19.040 thrive when I'm uncomfortable. I seem to thrive and grow 0:20:19.160 --> 0:20:22.040 and learn and become a better version of me in 0:20:22.080 --> 0:20:25.440 the middle of the shit, you know, which I don't 0:20:25.480 --> 0:20:27.439 know if that's a good or a bad thing. And 0:20:27.520 --> 0:20:31.000 of course there are moments where right then, in that moment, 0:20:31.080 --> 0:20:34.440 I'm not enjoying it at all. But you know, it's 0:20:34.480 --> 0:20:37.359 like when I started a PhD, I knew that. I 0:20:37.960 --> 0:20:40.280 knew it wouldn't be a fun process. I knew that, 0:20:41.040 --> 0:20:44.920 and it hasn't been like day to day doing the stuff, 0:20:45.080 --> 0:20:49.200 it isn't enjoyable. And that's not being disparaging or being negative. 0:20:50.200 --> 0:20:54.800 It's just that every PhD student and researcher and graduate, 0:20:55.960 --> 0:20:58.080 depending on what they did, but you know, most of 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.320 them will say, while I'm really glad I did it, 0:21:00.359 --> 0:21:02.680 I learned and it's amazing and it's great journey, it's 0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:05.720 also a fucking horrible journey most of the time because 0:21:05.720 --> 0:21:09.040 you're under immense pressure and you're learning as you're going, 0:21:09.080 --> 0:21:11.320 and it's a very very steep learning curve and not 0:21:11.400 --> 0:21:15.760 only learning about the subject matter that you're researching and 0:21:15.840 --> 0:21:19.000 interpreting the data and writing papers and figuring out what 0:21:19.200 --> 0:21:23.120 the data that you've got through your studies and research 0:21:23.160 --> 0:21:27.360 and participants equals. But you're also, in my case, you're 0:21:27.440 --> 0:21:30.960 learning how to speak that language, how to write that language, 0:21:31.320 --> 0:21:34.240 how to do like how do I do a PhD? 0:21:34.560 --> 0:21:38.199 Irrespective of what am I studying? But how do I 0:21:38.359 --> 0:21:41.600 do one? How do I? Like? What does ethical approval mean? 0:21:41.680 --> 0:21:45.119 How do I get that? What do I? Who do I? 0:21:45.280 --> 0:21:48.240 You know, Like I started at fifty six, I'm like, oh, 0:21:48.280 --> 0:21:51.720 who do I email about that? Or you know? What is? 0:21:52.480 --> 0:21:56.320 You know? How do I? How do I reference things? 0:21:56.320 --> 0:21:59.520 How do I do all these in text citations? How 0:21:59.520 --> 0:22:02.560 do I? You know? Because that that can be automated, 0:22:02.600 --> 0:22:05.320 But I'm like, well, I can't even automate making toasts, 0:22:05.320 --> 0:22:07.920 so as if I'm going to fucking figure that out, 0:22:08.040 --> 0:22:10.720 you know. But it's six years down the track and 0:22:10.760 --> 0:22:14.040 I'm nearly done, and it's been good. But I love 0:22:14.119 --> 0:22:17.120 that that. I would like to go do something next year. 0:22:17.119 --> 0:22:20.080 Also not I want to do all the other stuff, 0:22:20.080 --> 0:22:22.080 but I definitely will go do something again. 0:22:22.119 --> 0:22:27.600 That's hard, That's cool, I'd had a conversation with Tiff 0:22:27.600 --> 0:22:31.159 about this and I've said, you know, I, for me, 0:22:31.320 --> 0:22:33.560 going back to UNI is one of the most terrifying 0:22:33.640 --> 0:22:37.800 things because I've done it twice, and yeah, it was 0:22:38.560 --> 0:22:42.320 it was hard, it was scary, it was so unfamiliar 0:22:42.359 --> 0:22:46.199 and unknown. Really happy that I did it, but for 0:22:46.240 --> 0:22:49.240 a certain amount of time I would actually have nightmares 0:22:49.240 --> 0:22:50.720 about being in like. 0:22:50.760 --> 0:22:52.960